Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Love & Music (w/ Randy Jackson)

Episode Date: February 19, 2021

Musician/producer/host Randy Jackson (American Idol, Name That Tune) shares his skepticism with app dating, the worst date he’s been on, his favorite love songs, and catfishing. This Black History Month, research anti-racism resources and donate to Black Lives Matter at blacklivesmatters.carrd.co. Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: @nicolebyer Instagram: @nicolebyer Facebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedy

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Ooh baby, welcome to Why Won't You Date Me, a podcast where me, Nicole Byer, tries to figure out how I'm still single. Even though you could throw away all my shoes and I would say, guess what? I don't need any foot coverings.

My guest today is a Grammy-winning singer, bassist, and producer. He was a judge on the long-running series American Idol for 13 whole years. And he's the current band leader for Fox's Name That Tune reboot. producer. He was a judge on the long-running series American Idol for 13 whole years, and he's the current band leader for Fox's Name That Tune reboot. It's Randy Jackson! Yo, I love that intro. Thank you. I need to record that and play that every time I walk in the room. You know, I like just keeping the energy up.

Yeah, I'm glad you like the intro, Randy. How are you? Nicole, what's going down, man? I'm holding it down in this damn crazy COVID time on Earth, in America, in LA here. Holding it down. Yeah, it feels truly wild. I just found out in Glendale they have a mask ordinance in Glendale because Glendale's not

a part of LA. It's its own thing. And they fine you if you don't wear a mask in Glendale. Bless them. They're smart. Listen, I mean, they're so smart. Look, I just, we were in Australia for almost two months filming Name That Tune for Fox.

I had to go through two weeks of hardcore quarantine. Well, like you're in this hotel room with a very tiny balcony so you could see outside and smell outside. But you could not leave your room for two weeks. They had guards outside your door and they would check you every two days. Dang. They would call you every day, see if you got symptoms it was crazy and i haven't seen anything like it but when i got out when we got out there was no covid so we could film with a 200 person live audience no mask we went to restaurants where people were full inside we're at the table of 12 14 people it was so bizarre but yeah people there actually listen yep my friend lives in australia in sydney and he was like

well sometimes you'll wear a mask sometimes you won't you just kind of wear it as like a precaution because uh the cleaners at the hotel might come in contact with it so like we're just trying to be respectful and i was like imagine a whole So like, we're just trying to be respectful. And I was like, imagine a whole country of people who are like, let's be respectful and we understand how this fucking thing happened. Well, I think the government forces them because when they met our plane at the airport, the guards, you go through this, it's like nobody's doing nothing except what we say it was crazy but i hated it because i don't know that i'm free i live in america but i tell you what getting out

of there not having to wear a mask go to restaurants to be around people we had a live band content it was so bizarre that i'm like, look, the two weeks was worth it. That's what I think. I mean, I do think our shutdown was like a little harsh and not explained well enough. But like, it would be nice if we like buckled down for two weeks, three weeks, we like tried to really figure this out. And then we could just go back to normal. Like Australia, they're like spitting each other's mouths i'm like give me that i want it not sure i want anybody to spit in my mouth not strangers okay then and we're off on that we're off on the podcast i love it

i'm a fan of yours joe oh thank you r you, Randy. And I liked watching you on American Idol. And one of my favorite things to say when I don't want to do something is, that's enough for me, dog. I say it all the time. I appreciate you. I appreciate you upholding the truth out in these streets. Nicole, where you from? Me?

I'm from New Jersey. A Jersey girl. Wait, where are you from? Are you from? Me? I'm from New Jersey. A Jersey girl. Wait, where are you from? Are you from California? No, I'm from the dirty, dirty, dirty south in Louisiana. Baton Rouge. Really? Yeah, man, the dirty don't get no dirtier. I don't know very much about Louisiana except for like what people generally know,

like Mardi Gras and oh my God, what's the city I'm trying to. Oh, New Orleans. New Orleans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been there. It's so nice and fun. No, New Orleans is great. I mean, I tell people when they go there, forget the diets.

They don't believe it's down here. You know, they go, boy, you got to eat where the food is good eating. So, you know, they don't trust condiments on the table. The chef's supposed to taste that food before you eat it. You know, you don't trust these chefs. They'd be looking at how the food looks. No, how does it taste? You know what I'm saying? I agree with you. Yes. I went to a restaurant once where they served me a mustard creme brulee and I was like okay why why would you do this to a person I don't want to eat mustard creme brulee yeah that's mustard dessert sound yeah and it was bad I tried it because it was a fancy expensive restaurant and

I was like well maybe I'm the dummy and then I like ate a bite and I was like no yeah people trying too hard to do way too much. Know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Randy, how did you get into music? Tell me about your life. My life. You know, I was this kid growing up in Louisiana, man, in the hood down there. My brother had a band. He used to rehearse in my mom's garage.

And, you know, down in the lovable country south hood, you know, any given weekend, a band would be rehearsing on their front porch, one of the local cover bands, and crowds gather around, the ice cream man's out there with the ice cream truck. I mean, this is like, this is that original country hood that like, you know, people just having a good time, enjoying their life.

And I just fell in love with music. I used to watch my brother's band rehearse. And then I started getting into music. I wanted to play bass. My brother plays drums. I started playing guitar. I started playing drums. I played saxophone for a while.

I just got the music bug. But I was in athletics for most of my younger life playing, you know, football and track and baseball, basketball, all of that. But I just I love music, man. I love music. Hey, old school right there. OJ's in the house. Yeah, what? Old school right there. OJ's in the house. Yeah, what? But yeah, I mean, that's how it all started for me. And I mean, you know, when you're young, you kind of get your grind on and you think, man, I guess if I'm good, one day somebody will pay attention and I can make it and do something with this and maybe make four or five dollars. So, you know, it's just for the love of it. You know, music's big in the South. It's big everywhere. But the South is huge. So you were like already a successful musician before

American Idol, but American Idol truly made you like a household name. How did that like feel? Well, it was weird because I've been in this this rock band journey I toured with them made records videos made a bunch of videos that Mariah Carey whom I work with Aretha ton of people I've done a ton of records I was an A&R guy Columbia Records then at MCA for a long time I was producing A&R I don't know about music oh it's A&R. A&R is called Artisan Repertory, but mainly A&R is the heart of the record label. So an A&R guy finds, signs, develops, makes the records that the company then puts out with their marketing, promotion, publicity, distribution team. But the A&R person is the real heart and soul of it. It means

like, I would see you somewhere and go like, you know what, I'm going to sign Nicole. I'm going to get Nicole on the record with Lil Baby and Cardi and Drake. Ooh, that's fun! And then I'm going to hook up with this remix with Metallica. And people are going to be like,

what the hell is this? But I would be like, you know, I'm going to put this out and sell this. So they're really the heart and soul of the record industry. So, you know, I did that for a long time. So the funny thing about Idol is both Kyle and I were A&R people. I was at MCA at the time and he was at RCA. So what we did in our day job is exactly what American Idol was. It was our responsibility to find, sign, develop new talent that would be superstars. So it was interesting to become a household name, though, because, you know, I'm glad it happened to me later on in my life. So it didn't go to my head.

So I went out there wilding out in these streets. You know what I'm saying? To go. Of course I do. So were you married while, like, when American Idol premiered? Yes. Yes. Okay.

I had three kids, you know, married young kids. But, you know, happily doing my thing. Are you still currently married? I am not still currently married. I do have a girlfriend. You do? No, I'm not currently married. Yeah, but I've been married twice. Oh, you've been married twice. Double the fun. Well, double the fun, she says. Okay. All right, then. No, you know, I met her. I went to this restaurant to meet these people that were having this little gathering, someone's birthday, and met her there. And we just kind of hit it off a bit.

And of course, over the next couple months, hit it off a little bit more. And here we are, two and a half years later. Oh, see, that's nice. What a nice, simple story. I met them at a restaurant. We got along. Then it just blossomed from there. Well, it doesn't always blossom, but don't you like to, it doesn't always blossom,

but don't you feel like it's better to meet people in a casual setting, the grocery store, I mean, wherever. The grocery store? Yeah. I've never met someone at the grocery store where i mean wherever the grocery store yeah i've never met someone at the grocery store who was like oh let's go somewhere else where the food's already prepared you mean you didn't meet somebody looking at the cucumbers in the aisle and going oh i wish i wish because i'd be like is this what you have? And then he'd be like, uh, ew, I have to leave. Yeah.

Is this, are you, are you looking at the squash or are you looking at the potatoes? What does that mean? No, but you know what I'm saying? I mean, it's just an interesting, casual setting's always better. I mean, have you, so who are you dating? Are you dating in the pandemic? I am not dating in the pandemic because I've said it once. I've said it twice.

I'll say it a hundred times. I'm not dying over mediocre dick. I cannot do that. Speak on it. Speak on it. Speak on it. I just haven't seen a fat person who's gotten COVID and then was like, it was fine for me. I feel better.

So I'm staying inside because I, I just, she wants me like I, she wants me, she wants in me. She's like, that's a fat in here. I'll linger and then not go away. So I don't want it. No, no, no. Listen, it's probably the safest thing in the world not to, because it's crazy out there. Yeah. I mean, or do you do do did you do online though before before i was doing online uh i'm still doing online like i will talk to people and i floated the idea of meeting someone like in a park wearing a mask being six feet away having them understand that like i need to trust you before we are maskless and like kiss the mooching

because i'm not gonna smooch somebody who is smooching other people and being stupid it's like a whole thing where you have to trust somebody before that time do you know what i mean because i've only casual dated we're like it's like a month or two or three before i'm like oh okay i need this person I need things from this person. No, no, I could see that. I mean, I don't even know how it's going down. I mean, I hear about all the sites. I see all the stuff.

Like, it's just, it's not quite my vibe, man. I don't even know. Because I don't even listen. You could tell me the truth. I don't even trust all these people's damn pictures. People be lying about these photos. Well, yeah, there's a whole TV show about it called Catfish. And I've yet to be catfished.

And I like, I don't know. I don't think I will be. Maybe I will be. But then it would be a wonderful story from a podcast. You could bring them on air. I think I will be. Maybe I will be. But then it would be a wonderful story from a podcast. You could bring them on air. Why the hell did you catfish me, fool? Yeah, I mean, it would be a captivating, compelling episode. Do you know people that have been catfished?

I don't know anyone personally who's been catfished. I mean, I've gone out with people where there was one man, I think I've talked about him before, in his picture, he was like standing near a door and his hand was on the ceiling. And I was like, oh, he must be tall. And then when I met him, he was so little. And I was like, oh, it was a basement. The ceiling was dropped. And there's nothing wrong with the short king, but like, it would be nice if he had let me know.

I don't know. Like some dudes will put their heights up and then short king, but like, it would be nice if he had let me know. I don't know. Like some days we'll put their heights up and then I could have been like, it was just jarring to see him. And I was like, oh, you're so tiny. I liked it. That's kind of funny. You should let me follow you in an unmarked white van. You have an IFB.

I have one. I'm talking to you, telling this, telling that. I might have a blast doing this. I want one. I'm talking to you. Telling this, telling that. I would have a blast doing this. I want to live vicariously through you. I mean, I think we just pitched a very wonderful reality show. Nicole goes on dates and Randy Jackson's in her ear. Right. That would be hilarious, man.

Because, I mean, people lie so much. They want to make themselves seem very interesting, right? Yeah, which is funny because you can make yourself seem interesting on the apps before you meet somebody. But the minute you meet somebody, they're going to absolutely know that you're not as interesting as you were pretending to be. You know what I mean? Right. What is the one that all of the stars go on? Oh, that is Raya. Yeah. Are you on Raya? It took me two years, but they finally let me on Raya. What do you mean let you on? So to get on Raya, you have to have either a recommendation from a friend or you apply on your own and then you say someone you know who is on the app it's and then there's i guess like a coven of people who like are combing

through the applications being like are they cool no they're not cool and then when i finally got on i was like oh it's a bunch of white people and like australian djs and i don't i think they were right to not try to let me on uh I love the coven of people that could be a part of the show too there's a tribunal council of people to decide who goes on oh my god man yeah we're doing it like is Fox listening or like uh any other network hello we have a show for you you know know what we should do, Nicole? No, you know,

we should do a guidance. We should start our own dating now. Okay. What would we call it? By, uh, okay. Direct competition to Ryan.

Yeah. Yeah. Dating by you. And we decide to let people on depending on how many potato chips they can eat. We just make it extremely random and completely silly. You know what I mean? I like that. I didn't know Raya had all these rules.

I didn't know they had rules. It sure does. There's another one. Maybe it's called The League, I think, or something. The League. Something like that. You have to be a work professional. I think it's a bunch of doctors and lawyers,. You have to like be a work professional. I think it's like a bunch of doctors and lawyers and you have to like apply

to that too. I don't know. I feel like some of these apps, they're like, we have to keep the pool like a good pool of people where it's like, I don't know. I'm all about like, I like diversity in my dating.

I don't want to just date one type of person. Yeah. I was saying maybe you should date Drake. Maybe you need one of those Australian DJs. I don't want to just date one type of person. Yeah. I was saying maybe you should date Drake. Maybe you need one of those Australian DJs. I don't know. I mean, I would date Drake. I don't know if Drake would have me truly. He's got so like just a buffet of people to date. A buffet of people. That sounds funny. Just so many, like a Chinese buffet. You know how they have like all that stuff. Oh my God. Our buffet is done.

They're done. I think they've got to be done now, especially with COVID and all this disease. But listen, who is your dream date? Who is like, what's the fantasy date for Nicole? I don't know if anybody's been on your podcast and asked you about this,

but who is that? Um, okay. My, okay. I'll go into full detail detail so i would like him to be i'm like five seven or five six i don't really know so i'd like him to be like six foot so when he hugs me i can like put my little head on his shoulder um i like his head to be proportionate to his body um i would like for him to have stop there for a second proportionate to his body um i would like for him to have stop there for a second

proportionate to his body you mean you don't want somebody with a giant head and a tiny body i don't want a lollipop no oh my god uh i would like him to have all of his teeth yes he doesn't have to have all his eyes. I don't mind if there was an accident. I don't mind. That doesn't bother me. You're cracking me up now. As long as he's got one eye. Yeah. No, he doesn't even have to have one eye. I don't mind. I could date a blind man. That's fine. And then also if it like happened in an accident, it's like, oh my God, you trust me enough to tell me about this, this time in your life. So like that would be a nice thing. Um, I would like him to have a broad shoulders. Right. He doesn't have to like be very fit. I could do chubby.

I could do fat. Uh, I could do very fit. I don't really mind the body type, but I would like him to have big hands. I love big hands. I would like him to have powerful thighs. Powerful thighs? What does that got to do with the dating? I just like power, like big, big thighs.

If you have big thighs, I'll date you. But if not, leave me alone. Yeah, get out of here with your scrawny little legs. You miss leg day oh my god you're killing me here i'm having a good time wow i've never heard such distinct descriptions powerful thighs what about elbows um okay he can't have drill bows but those are dry elbows he's's got to like be moisturizing. And then personality.

I would like if he like kept up with his hair. That's not personality. But so he's like nice. He's funny. His fingernails are clean. He's like working the job that is his dream as opposed to like a person who's like oh one day i'm gonna do this x y and z and then never does it um he's got his own money his mother loves him but not in a way where she thinks i'm competition she's like healthy and well adjusted uh his dad is also very nice and he's really excited to meet me.

Right. I like this. Well, this is quite the fantasy. This is like everything all together. Yeah. Well, you asked. This is the perfect guy. Wow. I think so. Where do we find such a specimen? Honestly, I do not know. I don't know. I've been asking people to hook me up with their friends, but then they're like, oh, they're single for a reason, or I don't have any single friends anymore. That's true. That's true, though. Be careful of that. They're single for a reason.

Be careful. That's true. Don't you think? Yes. And maybe my dating would go better if i didn't sleep with people on the first date so i just read this thing yes randy you gotta figure out if you like it you spilling all the tea now today yo wow you gotta be more careful come on now i know and then okay so i just saw this video i think it was on instagram or maybe i read it somewhere i don't remember but it was this lady saying that men attach differently so like men have to get to know you and like feel uh safe with you to form a bond and then sex comes after that but if you sleep with them too fast, they have no time to form a bond. And they just form an opinion about you.

And that's why it doesn't last. But then there's people who sleep with someone on the first date and it's fine. But the lady was like, yeah, I think it was an Instagram video. So take it with a grain of salt. But that's what she said. No, but I could see that. I could see that. Because you want them to respect you and want them to feel like it's something real.

As opposed to just you know a hookup you know i'm saying yeah and that's if you want that you know i'm saying if you're looking for a real relationship you got to treat it as so right now i'm looking for as mary j blige says real love i'm looking looking for real love. It's very bad. I'm so sorry I sang at you, Randy. I'm a bad singer. No, come on.

Bring it on. Bring it on. I'm such a bad singer. Ooh, wait. Could you teach me? Do you think everyone can sing? No. No, no, no.

You know, that's that ridiculous thing that parents always tell kids. You know what, Johnny? You can become anything you want to become. No, Johnny can't. Johnny ain't got the talent. I mean, you can maybe fool some of the people some of the time, but you ain't going to fool everybody.

There's skillful people out here. You just sang one, Mary. Mary is unbelievable. She's so good. I want to go to a Mary concert so bad. I just, she like feels herself. And when she's dancing, like she's just like in the zone. I love her so much.

Yeah, we love Mary, man. That song, man, real love. It's such a good song. Man, that was good. Who's your favorite singer of all time? God, of all time, I don't know. It's hard to pick one because, I mean, you know, I've had the pleasure of working with a lot of them,

the Mariahs, the Whitney's, the Celine's, the Aretha's, you know, the Boyz II Men, the Wanya's. I mean, Steve Carey from Journey. I mean, you know. But Nat King Cole. Oh, OK. It's pretty unbelievable. Yeah.

That old era of, you know, the way those guys sung and they pronounced every word and they lived on every word, you know, unforgettable. I just, you know, that that whole, I love that era. You know what I'm saying? When I was little, I used to listen to Unforgettable. And then Natalie King Cole, she did a duet with her dad. And I just loved it so much. And I would just sing it in my room. It's beautiful.

It was a beautiful duet. No, but listen, at least you were feeling the emotion of it. You know what I'm saying? It's a beautiful song. I mean, it's amazing. And he was so great. Wow. Real quick, Randy, we have to take a break.

Oh, no. Okay. Okay. And we're back. See, it was a quick break. Randy, have you ever been, you've never been on any of the dating apps, right? Or have you? No, I can't. I can't. Why can't you? I don't know. You know, I like to see people for real. I like to do my own picking because I mean, you know, I need to feel the vibe of the person. I'm just weird like that. You know, these apps are so I you know what I say when the app game first started like this.

It's the perfect thing for somebody that wants to hide and run. You got a lot. Oh, my God. Absolute way to lie to the world. People be putting up these old ass pictures of somebody else. Fake accounts. And oh, man, I just I don't have the time and the patience. No, I'm saying.

No, I feel you on that one. I feel like being lied to is maybe one of the worst things, because then you're just like, who do I trust? Who's right about this? And if you're looking for love, you're just looking at pictures. Pictures ain't love. No. And all the lies and all the stuff that they talk about. Then you got to admit something to me.

Every time you meet them, you're looking to see if it's what they told me, right, or were they lying? Well, I personally, I only really talk to people on the apps for like a week. If you don't ask me out after a week, then like I just delete the connection because I don't want to text for so long that I feel like I know anything about you. I just like want to go in with like, I know your name, I know what you do for work, and I know enough about you to like start a conversation. But it's when you text for like a month and then you meet this person, you're like, oh, well, you're not like lining up with what's in my head. Well, that's what I'm saying. I mean, you know, it's, I just think it's so crazy, dude. Like to me, look, I know a lot of people have been successful, married, met the one,

and I'm sure it's possible. Don't you think? I, yeah, I think it's possible. Um, I just don't know. I, yeah, I've like a lot of friends who've met people online but i also have a lot of friends who've met their partners in person i just i don't know what it's gonna be for me maybe i'll maybe i'll meet someone in person maybe not i don't know i think it's gonna happen to you when you least expect it that's what people keep saying, but I'm always expecting it. No, you can't be expecting. Maybe, maybe you're going to be my husband. No, stop expecting. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, Nicole. Okay. Stop expecting. Let the blessings come, let it happen. Put it out of your head.

Think about the van with the IFB, the TV show that we're going to do. Put all that out of your head. Think about the van with the IFB, the TV show that we're going to do. Put all that out of your head and then let it happen. Okay. Randy, what's the worst date you've ever been on? God, it was a while ago. Man, it was a long time ago. God, so many years ago. I was on this date with this girl and it wasn't going great. And I was trying to think during the whole time, how can I get out of here? How can I pay the check and leave her here? I mean, how can I just go to the bathroom, talk to the waiter, hand my card, do it and just slip out? I'm just, I don't want to know why this date's going to end. You know that

awkward moment where somebody's going to hug or kiss? I don't want to know, but I don't even want to be involved in that situation. I just wanted to run. And you know, like, it just, I couldn't believe I was on this date. And it's the only

time it's happened to me because after that, I said, okay, no more. I got to know that I'm really interested to really be somewhere in a space with this person. Because, man, you know, it was a blind date somebody set me up on, too. Oh, boy. Okay. So I don't do blind dates no more. But what made her so bad? Like, was it just like bad conversation?

Was she rude? What was going on? It's just the personalities didn't really jog together. And like, it was a setup. And I don't usually like blind dates. And first thing I thought, whomever hooked this up doesn't know me. Because this is not somebody. I mean, you can be friends with somebody but not somebody

I never want to date you know just it was just not my vibe but I said let me go with it let me see what happens because I've never done it you know you want to try things I'm sure you probably tried some things oh yes I love trying things I'm very daring adventurous but yeah I've done things where I'm like oh I'll never do that again but I mean somebody set you up on a blind date have you been on a blind date no not yet it's it's fun it's funny you know when we were shooting um I asked somebody this and we were shooting name that tune in Australia. I asked somebody, one of the guys in the band, I said, listen, you ever been on a blind date? He goes, no, I don't know.

I don't know from that. So I think a lot of people are afraid of it, but he does the app thing. Isn't that kind of like a blind date though? It is kind of like a blind date, you can even like you could call them you could facetime them like you have more access than a blind date because on a i for me i think a blind date is just like nicole i got this man for you are you gonna meet them at this restaurant uh they have a brown hair good luck then you go to the restaurant you're like okay everybody here's got brown hair who's alone okay maybe this person hello i'm gonna call, you're like, okay, everybody here's got brown hair. Who's alone? Okay, maybe this person?

Hello? I'm going to call, and they're like, I'm meeting Margaret. And you're like, not this one. I don't know. I feel like a blind date is like a journey. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. Well, I guess you're right about that. It's a weird one, though.

It's a weird journey. I mean, I don't know. But yeah, yeah, so I mean, I think you're going to find it when you stop expecting or looking for it. Okay. Well, Randy, what is, like, what's a good way to, like, hit on somebody? What's, like, a good flirting tip? Man, I don't even know. Hey, how you doing?

Yo. You know, I don't even know. I mean, I think just being natural and normal and not coming up with lines and all that stupidness. Okay, I can get behind that. Just being natural, my natural self. Yeah, be natural Nicole. Okay, naturally Nicole.

Natural, evanescent, vibrant Nicole. Okay, I can do that. Was dating harder after you'd been on television? Did you think that sometimes you'd go out with people who like expected something from you? Of course it was. Yeah. I mean, you know, you, you get all the people that, you know, what you're going to do for them or what can you do for them? You know what I mean? You don't get the genuine thing. I look, I think it's hard to find genuineness anyway you know like you know i always say to people what do you want you know my guy friends you look just looking for a hookup or you just trying to like really

be in love with somebody because the love takes time it's no ride carry row great line in a song love takes time I think it's true. Love does take time. It is really, I mean, you know, and also you setting up a, a benchmark for the kind of relationship you want. You say, look, I don't want this just to be a hookup. I'm trying to really be in love, loved up with somebody, you know, like, you know, they trying to go after you. Nicole, how long was your longest relationship?

My longest relationship. Okay. So I had like a thing on and off for like three years, but I don't know if I'd call that a relationship cause it was wholly unhealthy, but I've only really dated people for like three months at a time. Wow. Three years. Sounds like a while though. Yeah, it was a long. Wow. Three years sounds like a while though. Yeah, it was a long time, but it was truly like on and off. So like we'd be on for like a month or two and then off for like four months and then on for like three months and then off for six months. So collectively it was three years, but I would say in total, probably like seven months, eight months together. Right.

Okay. Okay. So that's the longest, longest. Mm-hmm. But it was complicated. Yeah, it was very, very complicated. I just hit a wall with people where, I don't know, maybe I'm sleeping with them too soon. And then they're like, I can't bond with her.

I don't know. Stop doing it too soon. I know. But I get so horny, Randy Jackson. You are hilarious. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Are you still friends with Simon?

Yeah, no, no. We're all good friends. Me and Ryan, Paula. Talked to Paula a couple of weeks ago. She's on The Masked Dancer. Also on Wednesday nights on Fox. Our show follows her show. I watched an episode.

It's very fun. It's a fun show. It's a funny show. Seeing people dance with these costumes on. No, your show. Oh, name that tune. It's hilarious. We have a blast on it. We have a blast on it we have a blast on it you know jane and i just cracking people up you know i mean we're cracking ourselves up most of the time

yeah i love her was did you guys shoot in australia because of covid they were you guys were like it's easier to just have an audience well if we wanted an audience and a live band, and on a game show, you got to kind of be close to the contestants. Yeah. So it was the right thing for us to do. It's the only way we could do it. We're in Australia almost two months, but it worked out. Really worked out. I'm happy we did that, actually.

Yeah, I mean, it seems like the smartest thing to do. Yeah, I mean, look, I mean, what else are you going to do yeah I mean look I mean what else you're gonna do I mean productions are getting shut down in here shut down here left and right what is what do you think the greatest love song of all time is well the only song that pops into my head is greatest love of all which is really one but it was meant sort of as that Black National Anthem too, but it's just you know, I like that line

find your strength in love. It's just a great line. It's probably one of the greatest ones. I think I agree with you. Or, we said it earlier, unforgettable. That's what you are. Unforgettable.

I like the face you made right there. Yeah. Y'all don't know Nicole's making faces when she's getting that line in. Yeah, get it, girl. Get it, get it, get it. You got to do a face if you know that the sound is not going to be good. No, get it. That's how you get the sound right, to make that face.

Oh, okay. So I know a little bit about singing. Yeah, man. Okay, Randy. So some advice you've given me is to be myself, be natural in conversations. What's another two pieces of advice that you can give me? Wait, at least.

What was that movie the steve harvey movie about the 90-day rule think like a man yes think like a man i think it's it might be yeah 90 days i think that's what it is read that book twice okay all right i can i'm gonna order i'm gonna order it from barnes and noble as soon as we get off i'm gonna i'm gonna think like a man you know i'm just saying you know because you want it to be quality you ready for your clothes on nicole i can see you i can feel it in your spirit go out there and get it girl make it yours man you. Well, Randy, we've come to the end. I usually ask all my guests this.

Would you date me? Of course. Ah, thank you, Randy. Of course. Of course. Come on. Come on, Nicole. You know how we do.

Tell everyone what time Name That Tune comes on. Tell everyone what time Name That Tune comes on. Name That Tune on Fox Wednesday nights, 8 Central, 9 on the West Coast, or the Left Coast, as I like to say. So, yeah, tune into that. It's very fun. I like it. Also, if you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you can like it, you can rate it, you can subscribe. And if you hit on me saying something dirty i will read it uh on air so this person said i had to write a nasty dm i want to fuck you too like i want to fuck you like one big sexy oreo you'll be the cookie and

uh i'll be the white cream in the middle lick me up first and then i'll dunk you in white liquid okay that works for me. I could be an Oreo. I think he's lying. I think he's lying. He's a liar. All right. Thank you, Randy.

Bye-bye. All right. Thanks, love. That's it for Why Won't You Date Me? With me, Nicole Byer. Why Won't You Date Me with me, Nicole Byer. Why Won't You Date Me is produced and engineered by, oh, the sweetest woman I know, Marissa Melnick. It is executive produced by other wonderful people, Adam Sachs, Joanna Solotaroff, and Jeff Ross. Thanks for listening.

I love you. Thank you so much. We'll be seeing you next Friday with a brand new episode. What a treat. What a dream. What a dream! Ha ha ha! This has been a Team Coco production.