Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Matching Your Silly (w/ Eugene Cordero)

Episode Date: January 17, 2025

Comedian and actor Eugene Cordero (Loki, The Mandalorian) joins Nicole to discuss having a UCB-involved proposal, his most awkward date, and finding someone that matches your silly. Plus, Nicole shares her attempt to get into anime - for a man.WATCH this episode on YouTube at youtu.be/ffIFVa7Ba0o.Write to Nicole! Send your dirty messages to [e-mail] with the subject line "Dirty Message" and Nicole may read it in a future episode.Follow:YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Love the podcast you'll love seeing even more of it on video Watch this full episode on YouTube just check the description for the link subscribe So you don't miss out new video episodes drop every Friday This is a head gum podcast Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Woo baby, welcome to another episode of Why Why Don't You Date Me?

A podcaster, Meena Cole-Byer, is trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come in an ice cube tray, put a little stick in it, when it's fully frozen, present it to me and go, it's a coconut ice pop. My guest actor is an actor, a writer, and a comedian. And you've seen him on hit shows like The Mandalorian, Loki, Tacoma FD, and The Good Place. He's part of the Star Trek universe and can be heard in the animated series Star Trek lowered X And I've seen him do improv so much. He make me laugh so hard

I don't know why I said it like that It's YouTube for Daryl Oh wow, I hope you have an accent this whole time Hello Was that intro did you say even though and then said it? Even though what? Like even though you would enjoy it? Even though you could do that to me

and I would stick around. Oh, okay. Present it to you. Say it's coconut and then eventually tell you the truth or never tell you. I don't know. I haven't thought that far out. Does it freeze?

I don't know. I'm just wondering. Does it freeze? I don't know. I'm just wondering. Does cum freeze? In a freezer? Like is it, you know, you'd freeze it if you were like trying to, you know, save it for later for... For like a baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for baby. I think sperm does freeze.

Right. Because you can freeze your eggs. Right, but you can't freeze your eggs in your freezer at home, I don't think. Unless you have like a certain... Wait, you can't? Oh no, is that what you've been doing? I took my eggs out. You know something funny?

I thought women had two eggs for a really long time. Oh, that's so... Like into adulthood. And I found out on stage that we have more than two eggs. Um, how recently is this? It was at UCB New York, so I would say, like 10 years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that works, that works.

That's okay. Too old. No, no, no. Why two? Because the two guys here, I thought were eggs or egg-shaped. I think they're called ovaries. Wait, wait, oh, the two guys here.

Okay, I was gonna say, I was like, the puppet hands you're using. No, these two guys inside connected to the two guys here. Okay, I was gonna say I was like the puppet hands you're using These two guys inside connected to the fallopian hoops. I thought they cracked or whatever and like eggs would flow out Yeah, you know the education system has failed us. Yeah. Yeah Anytime I see that kind of cartoony drawing of a uterus and all that stuff It just makes me think of that part in Jurassic Park where that, like Mr. DNA, explains it all to you. Do you know?

When he's just like, this is how dinosaurs came back. I was like, I wish that guy was around when I was learning about, you know. Why wasn't he my teacher? Why didn't I have a digital teacher? I mean, in 2025. Yeah, Zoom school. Zoom, no, no thank you. No Zoom school? Zoom, no, thank you.

No Zoom school. No, send those kids away. You have two. I have two kids that I send away every day. Five days a week I send them away. They're so cute. When they come back, they are. They're unbelievably gorgeous kids.

They really are. They're model children. They are, they are. Here's a question. When they do bad things, are you like, you're so cute. I will say that happens with the girl. The girl? With the child that is a female. The boy is too much of an animal that it like bleeds through and you're like, that can only get you so far.

That's so funny. Did having kids change your relationship? Yeah. Yeah. In a insane way. People tell you about it, and I'm sure I'm gonna explain it the same way that everybody does,

of like, you realize that, you know, for the first time you live not selfishly. And you're like, yeah, right. And there's still aspects of my life that I'm very selfish about, but like it's true. Yeah. Yeah. Because you have two little people being like, I need things. Yeah. And you look at them and you're like, holy shit. That's, that came from the frozen egg thing from my freezer. It went from a nice breakfast I was making with my frozen seeds and my frozen eggs.

Yeah, and I did them, you know, I did them as those like old-fashioned round ones. So they were like, they were like big globes. It's really funny to think about. Like an Egg McMuffin, just a round thing of sperm. Eugene. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Did it also change your relationship with your wife? Did it make things harder? Easier? Um, it made things challenging just because there was, like, a new...

aspect of things that were different. But that would be the same... Not the same, but it was similar to, like, when we got a dog. Mm-hmm. You know, where similar to like when we got a dog. You know, where you like realize scheduling things matter. And then, you know, it changed even more when it was like, oh, I affect these people's lives. And then you find out a little bit more of like the way you grew up things that you do, of how you parent, and then you watch your partner do the same and you're like,

oh, didn't see that aspect of you before because I didn't need to. And now I do and it changes things. I think about like if I had kids, there were so many rules in my house. Yeah. So I feel like I'd be like no rules here, we're the cool house. But then I'm like, then I'd have like garbage children. Dude, there are so many of those kids and they're fucking terrible. They're the worst. Where they have like no repercussions

and they just get to like run around. Yeah. Do you believe in gentle parenting? This is a new thing I learned about. I believe in fair parenting. Okay. Gentle parenting sounds a little bit too soft for what the world is, if that makes sense. I think so.

Yeah. I don't like it. And I read more about it. I'm like, okay, I understand respecting them as they are growing and they have feelings and like keeping that in, keeping age in mind as they're doing it. But there's rules at schools, so there has to be rules in the house. And your parent being your best friend is not true.

No, whenever a parent say that or a child's like, oh yeah, my mom's my best friend, I'm like, that adult, that adult's my best friend. I'm like that adult Yeah, that adult was your best. You guys what did you talk about? Yeah, what do you have in common? And and it's different. It's a different machine and I'm like in various ways like, you know, I'm I Tell my son he's seven. I tell him that I'm like I You know, I love him no matter what all this stuff, but I'm your dad, I'm not your friend. Because your friends can walk away,

you can have all these things, but I'm here. But you're here to stay. I'm here for the long haul, so we gotta. We gotta figure this shit out. We gotta work it out and get it right. God. Yeah. Eugene, were you an early bloomer or a late bloomer? Did you have relationships growing up?

I did, ish. I was a late bloomer as far as size. I was like four, seven until I was like a junior in high school or something. My mom had to take me to the doctor to make sure that my like, my plates weren't fused or whatever already. What are plates? I think, I don't know. That's what they told me at the doctors.

Just to make sure that I would keep growing. Cause I was like, maybe, maybe hitting five foot for a while. That's so funny to take a kid to the doctor to be like, they're gonna keep growing, right? No. I think it's okay. Yeah. Any height's fine. My mom was nervous about it. She thought I was gonna... Because she's a tiny woman. She was a tiny woman.

She was like five foot tops. And she didn't want you to be tiny. She didn't want me to be a tiny stocky boy. I would have been the tiny stocky boy. So... Wait. You have kids. Have you... How do you figure out your kid needs a helmet? Not that I'm implying that your children have worn helmets,

but you see the babies out and about, who look like they're about to get on a motorcycle. How do you get to that point? Well, if your dad has a motorcycle, A, you should get one. But then, secondly, when you go to the doctor, they're like, hey, there's, you know, the way that the head is growing or whatever It seems like it could be

Shaped it depends on like how you came out of the womb and everything Shaped differently or how they sleep or whatever can affect it so then some kids Some parents decide to put the helmets on so that they even out the growing of the head. That's so wild to me. Yeah, it feels, and when we've had that conversation, and no shade to anybody who's done it, if it's purely aesthetic or not. It feels like it's aesthetic.

Yeah. Because I've seen people with like cone heads and I'm like, oh, you're living. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. Yeah. Which is like, yeah. So our kids did not have helmets for anything,

not even sports or. Or motorcycle rides. Do you remember who your first girlfriend was and how old you were? First girlfriend was? And how old you were? First girlfriend, girlfriend? I was, maybe my junior year of high school was like girlfriend. I had like crushes from like young ages.

I had so many crushes. But those weren't necessarily anything that ever people ever looked at me like. Even my girlfriend in high school, it felt like the family was so disappointed with the idea of it. That doesn't feel good. Yeah, yeah.

You can feel the disappointment. Feel it, I don't know. Maybe it was just how I took it. Again, it was like, I went to a private school. There was the all-girl private school next door, so, and it was in an area where there was quite a bit of money, so it already feel less than there, so it just didn't feel like great.

I get that. Great on my person. I grew up around a lot of whites, and I love a white person. Me too. They my friends. They're my friends. They're my wife. They're my wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're my wife. They're my wife. But I get what you mean where I like, I've talked about it and someone posted something, this was years ago, and they're like, well, if your family saw you struggling, why didn't they move you out of that neighborhood? And I was like, because that's the dream. The dream is to be upward mobile and be upper middle class

and be with the white people who are also succeeding, but that doesn't negate that you feel like an outsider at all times because your family's trying to give you a better life. And I've gone to people's homes where I'm like, oh, I feel like you thought Nicole was going to be a nice white and I'm a nice black. Yeah.

And that's surprising. It was, yeah, it's surprising and it's offset. It's like off-putting, and it was very off-putting for like, you know, my like homecoming dates, parents and stuff. You can feel it in the handshake or in the pictures. Yes. It's just like you just feel it. So it's just like, oh, this feels terrible.

But my high school girlfriend was also in the shows and all that kind of stuff. So we had a common language of the things that we enjoyed. The theater. The theater, yeah. Do you remember how you asked her out? I believe she asked me out. Oh, I believe she asked me out. Oh, I love an aggressive theater gal. Yeah. Yeah. I love that so much. I did not date at all in high school and the thought

of being like pimply and waking up early to like go get an education and then being like Do you want to like hang out with me and like kiss me a little bit? Yeah. Feels insane. Have you seen The Substance? Not yet. Okay. I know, it's been almost a year. It's been a long time since it came out. Yeah, yeah.

I won't ruin it, but in the last 15 minutes, that's how I felt all through high school. Oh wow, okay, so then when I watch it, that's how I'm gonna think? Yes. Okay, okay. Just think of me. Think of me fondly when you watch the last 15 minutes of The Substance.

I'll text you. I'm like, here's the part. LAUGHING And I'm like, that's me. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I just, I didn't feel pretty. And like I, I just like didn't want to put myself out there. I don't like rejection. Yeah.

Who does? But then we choose a career that's... That is constantly just rejection. Yeah. Who does? But then we choose a career that's... That is constantly just rejection. Yeah. I like it. Yeah. I mean, that's... So that's...

And I've always felt confused out of my skin in that way. When I was in Michigan, you know, day trying to... Even with my crushes, I felt like, oh, I can't tell them because they don't look at me like that because I'm not one of them. That's how I felt too, but also I felt like a gremlin. And then after your first girlfriend, how long did you guys date? Your first girlfriend. My first girlfriend and I, we dated for like two and a half years. Oh my god. Like my junior and senior year of high school and then for a little while when I moved for college.

Tiny bit. So maybe two years, yeah. That's a nice chunk of time. And then what was college like? Was that like slinging pussy? No, because I couldn't get over my young days yet. I think I was still kind of like whatever and then being like a theater kid and also my family and stuff were worried that because I did decide to go to the theater instead that I might be gay and you know and and might not be all of that stuff.

So there was just kind of a lot of trying to figure stuff out for a little while. And I think I got excited about New York in general. So I was just kind of taking in all of these people that I've never encountered before. Mm-hmm. I loved New York. It was amazing. It's amazing. Oh, God. When I also first moved to New York, I was like, it's incredible to be around this many different types of people. Yeah.

And I was just there last week, and I was on the lower east side, and I truly was like, wow, all these 20-year-olds just, like, living. And they're drunk, and they're yelling, and they're having fun. And screaming. Yes, and I was like, I should go back inside. I know, but having a blast. I was in New York last weekend as well, and there was, I was in a bar,

and there was a girl sobbing, sobbing, because, and she was screaming to her friends, I just, because this is it, this is it, like it's gonna be done, it's all done. And then her friends were like, it's okay, Meredith, we've got two more years together. Like there was something that was happening now that she was like a sophomore or whatever,

and drunk that she was just like, it's fleeting time. It's done. It's done. God, that's so funny. And it was a group of like three dudes, two girls just holding her hand by the sinks. I really love that. Gosh.

I love New York. We have two more years together, Meredith. Meredith's like, no. Let's have fun tonight. No. No. I can't believe you guys are my only friends. God, that's so funny.

I didn't see anything heartfelt like that. I was on Delancey and these guys were fighting. And then I love New York because everyone was like, oh, okay, well, I'll stop exactly what I'm doing to watch this. And then this man lifted another adult man over his head and body slammed him into the ground. And then a lady went, we're not gonna go over and help. And then this man goes, do what?

Do what? You saw that man pick up another man, do what? And I laughed so hard. And then two police officers strolled, strolled. There was no urgency. Just like strolled up and went, what's going on? I was like, that man's not okay. And then it got broken up and then we all went about our day.

But I, when that lady said, do what? Oh my God. I was like, exactly. Yeah. It was wild. I love New York. More people getting hurt? No way. Yeah. Imagine. Imagine I got body slammed.

I would not want to imagine that. Unless you wanted it. Okay, here's the thing. I think I would like to be body slammed into like something soft. Right. Like I think that would be fun. Like body slammed onto a bed or something. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I feel like scary things should be available with soft stuff. Like wrestling. Like let's do wrestling but in a nice soft area.

Right. Or into a pool. Yes! Or like gymnastics but nobody's getting hurt here. Yeah. Like those foam squares. I need to find an adult gymnastics class. I really want to be flippin'. On that note, we got to take a break. Oh! ["The New Year's Gifts"] All right, new year, new me.

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non-withdrawable casino credits for select games that expire in 168 hours. Terms at casino.draftkings.com slash promos. Ends January 19th, 2025 at 11.59 PM Eastern Time. I wanna be flippin'. I wanna be flippin' and we're back. Oh my gosh. When you started doing improv, I asked all comedians this, did you have like chuckle fuckers?

Were there ladies who would come to the show and be like, oh my God, Eugene, when you played that troll and you had all those bridge questions. Oh, I was wet I was The amount of times I played trolls and the amount of times that people said that exact sentence to me is Unbelievable that you got it right. That must have been in your notes I

I think no, I think people were off put of how unfriendly I was outside of the theater. Outside of like UCB. Really? I think so because I don't think I was, as soon as like, I'm, but it's even that on stage. Like, when I'm doing a show on stage, I'm excited about doing the show with the people I'm doing the show with. So I like love it, and I'm excited, I'm having fun. And then when we hang out afterwards,

I'm excited and having fun to talk to those people as well. So then when somebody who is not in that circle walks up to me, I'm like, what do you want? Like, I think you could see it in my face of like I there's nothing I'm not trying to make new friends. I'm not trying I'm like literally just did a show with some fun people and I'm still trying to hang out with them That's really fun. So I think I kind of gave off that vibe or they would see it because I'd be Pleasant like they'd be like hey good shot. I'm like, thank you and

Pleasant? Like they'd be like, hey good show. And I'm like, thank you. And then quietly not really have too much to say. And then they'd watch me walk over to a group of people and be like, Hey everybody! Party time! Who wants drinks? You know? And they're like, oh well he obviously just didn't like me. He hates me. Yeah. That's really funny. Yeah. I heard that from people who later I have hung out with.

They were like, oh, I used to think you hated me. I just, I thought that you reserved energy for certain interactions. That's how I read it. Yeah. And I don't think it's any different than what you're saying. And it's not, yes. But I think a lot of people think they're the main characters

in other people's story, where it's like, you are like, oh, I just want to hang out with my friends and do a show with my friends. And I'm not really interested in talking about the show. I'd like to talk about the show with my friends. Right, yeah. I don't need notes from you. Yeah, you know? Because that's not going to change anything. Also, I don't need notes on improv. It is unhinged that at the theater we both performed at, we would do make-em-ups for 45 minutes,

make-em-up with eight other or seven other people, and then get notes on it as if we were ever going to try to do the same thing again. For the same amount of time, if not longer than the show was. Hahaha! Several times I would miss Harold's. I would miss like two Harold's because we were getting notes. Two Harold's! My God.

That's an hour of notes. Unhinged! I'll never forget. I did one show where... Ah, shit. It was something about an afternoon abortion. And it did make sense as a second beat. If you're not an sense as a second beat.

If you're not an improv person, second beat is just the first thing. Just again, funny. I don't know. Yeah, it's just funny and interesting. But it matched. And I was so proud of myself, because I was bad at second beats. And then the note was, because it was a Harold Knight matinee, I don't think that's a very good second beat for a Harold Knight matinee. I was like, what? Isn't funny funny at any time?

I was like, the audience was laughing. You think someone went home and cried about an afternoon abortion scene? It's afternoon. They talked about an abortion. I can't eat this bread. Days ruined. Ruined it. Put it back in the freezer.

I don't want my ice pop. I wish you would have just brought it up tonight. No, it's terrible. Wild. Wild. I think about that all the time. Even when I think about teaching improv, I'm like, what am I? I used to say it too.

This is so subjective. It's like I'm going to try to give notes on things that I notice are repeating in your performance, but not on a specific scene, if it was funny or not. No. And I'm like that too. And I always thought I was a very bad coach because I'd be like, funny subjective. One person can say that exact line and it's going to be hilarious. Another person can say the exact same line, same inflection. And it's not funny because that person's just not a funny person.

And I was like, I'll note you on like, if you're not yes anding and if you're not adding anything. And that's literally all I can do for you. Because otherwise, like, I don't know. Or if you like went away from the structure, like pay attention what the structure of the thing was. Yeah, literally. Boy, I love improv. That's it.

But it's dumb as hell. It's dumb as shit. But you should be able to walk away and go like, that's it. Yeah. That's it, but it's dumb as hell. It's dumb as shit But you should be able to walk away and go like that's it. Yeah We can afterwards talk about how fun it was to do, you know to be trolls again Yeah, I refuse like whenever I do a show now and someone's like, oh I didn't mean to him like doesn't matter what you meant To do what happened happened is fine. Yeah, and I I matter sorry. I didn't know what you're okay cares Who cares? I just did a show Where oh god, someone was Tim Allen from home improvement or fixed?

So it was a radio DJ with like a noise catchphrase So I was like, oh I'll heighten it by being a minion Which is a movie of noises and I walked on I went Ben and in your case, he oh, I'll heighten it by being a minion, which is a movie of noises. And I walked on, I went, Benenda? And Neil Casey just went, I'll take one. And I was like, oh, I don't have, I'll leave. That's like, that was a class. It would have gotten like a note that's like, you knew she was a minion or whatever.

Who cares? We're having a nice time. Truly. What are you gonna know? You need to know about the Minions despicable meme movies or you have to do a better impression of a... Yeah, you didn't say banana, right? That's why nobody knew. That's why nobody knew. You didn't walk...

You didn't have one eye. Imagine I gouge an eye out to make it... I'm just bleeding. To be fair, even you doing it a second time, I couldn't think. Despicable me or minions. So you met your wife doing the improvs. Yeah, doing the makeup-ups. Yeah. That's nice.

We actually met briefly in college through mutual friends. Wait, really? We went to the same college. Oh, I didn't know that. And through like doing shows at the college. But then we reconnected once she started doing shows and taking classes at UCB when I was doing. Did you ever feel intimidated by being with a funny woman?

That's a... Oh, okay. I didn't know if that was a bad question or not. No, no, no, intimidated. I don't know about intimidating. She's so funny. I think in Tree, I think I was just kind of like, it was easy to be a fan of hers, so I think I was just kind of a fan of how funny she was.

So, yeah, but she also had the vibe of like, she didn't even think she was that funny, so that kind of blew my mind in a weird way. Still to this day, it still kind of blows my mind. So yeah, I'll constantly tell her how talented she is and I just like saying that out loud to her anyway. So it's good. That's so nice! Yeah, it's pretty neat.

Oh my goodness. How long have you guys been married? We've been married for 13 years now. We've been together for like 15, I guess. Oh no, we've been together for like 17. Something like that. Who asked who out? I asked her out. Do you remember your first date? I do. We went to a sushi restaurant and she didn't tell me she was vegetarian.

And I ordered a fucking boat. You know, it was just like a wooden boat. Covered in sushi. She wasn't eating that much. I asked her if she wanted sushi and she said she did. But she's not. Maybe I ordered the wrong ones, but everything is on here. And I remember I couldn't afford a boat.

But I got a boat anyway. And we didn't eat that much of a boat. I ate as much of the boat as I could. Because I was like, I had to pay for a boat. I need to eat the boat. I got to eat this boat. So, yeah, Lower East Side went to a sushi boat restaurant and ate some sushi boats. For one, I did.

So that was our first day. And, you know, but, you know, we we would hang out somewhat after shows and stuff like that. That was like our first official date. Because when we first reconnected, she had a boyfriend at the time. So it took a little bit of time before. To get him out of the picture. To murder him. Yeah. Which, you know, is his own thing.

Hahaha. Yeah. Do you remember the moment where you were like, I'm in love? I don't know if it was the moment or just like as soon as we started dating. It was one of those things where I thought what you're supposed to say is like, oh, we're just going to keep this casual this casual, you know, no big deal. But it didn't feel, and we both said it, but I don't think we committed to that mentality.

To the casualness? To the casualness. It was only a year after we were together that I proposed, anyway. Really? Yeah, because we had already kind of known each other-ish. Oh, that's so sweet. And you spend a lot of time together when you're also both watching each other to show Yeah, I'm doing all this other stuff and you're like I

Don't think most relationships you are there for People's like putting the blood sweat and tears of trying to start a career of anything so that year goes by where you're like, really like, bouncing off that person to be like, should I give up? Should I keep doing this? Am I, you know, I know I'm good enough, but is anybody going to see anything that I'm doing as good or whatever?

So I think that, like, to kind of work through that together and all of that stuff kind of fast forwards the, you know, is this, do I like this person? Do I love this person? Do I want to be with this person and stuff? I like it. That's really romantic.

Yeah. To kind of be scrappy together, being like, no, I believe in you. Yeah. It's like, okay, I believe in me and I believe in you. Yeah. And you kind of like help each other up. So we did. And we were just like, okay, let's get married.

No. Which was, yeah, great. Which was like a UCB-involved engagement. Which was very random and fun and great. It was like after I knew I was gonna propose and then I was figuring out how I was gonna do it. And of course there was like the UCB holiday party that was happening.

But my surprise was she really loved this Jim Henson puppet Christmas movie called Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas. Never heard of it. It's great. It's like 22 minutes, shorter than a Herald. And, but longer than notes. Well, no. Half of the time of notes. And Jeff Hiller, mutual friend of ours, Jeff Hiller,

was in a stage production of it in Connecticut because they were going gonna start bringing it to The holiday season and like Radio City or something so they were testing it out and he was in the cast of it So I was like, oh, I'm gonna bring her up there to see Jeff Hiller do the show and propose So I was like telling her I had a surprise for her And then we were all everybody and we were gonna leave the next day to go do it. Was able to keep the secret. But then every fucker at the UCB party hammered,

knew I was gonna do it. We're like, oh my God, oh my God, the surprise is tomorrow. Oh! But part of the surprise was bringing her up to see that show, she didn't know it. So then somebody even walked up and they go, so you're gonna go see Hillary and Emma Natter tomorrow? That's awesome.

And I was like, yeah, you'll never be my friend. You are uninvited to the wedding. I will not speak to you again. So then that part of it got revealed, but then the second part of it didn't. So then we got to have our engagement with Jeff Hiller. As he was dressed as a fox or something. That is so funny and also so sweet.

And I love an engagement where like, you thought about it. You thought about what she likes and how to surprise her and make her feel loved and that you listen. Yeah, I do like that part of listening. The retaining part? Yeah, the retaining like that part of listening. The retaining part? Yeah, the retaining part and not having to talk is nice. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You know, sometimes to just like really be interested

in what people have to say is nice. That is nice. Yeah, and I try to be interested when I'm dating somebody, but sometimes it'd be boring. It is. And if you're not intrigued with them as like a human being, it's really tough. Yeah. I tried my hardest to get into anime.

Why? I was dating a boy who really liked anime. Right. And it was tough for me. But wait a minute. Why can't you not just not be into it? Why isn't that allowed? But wait a minute, why can't you not just not be into it? Why isn't that allowed? I guess is my thing like because people were like, oh you've been married and all this stuff Like you guys might must like the same things and everything. It's like no

But isn't there like a thing that you love together? I'm sure there's multiple. Yeah, that was wild for me Yeah, both of our kids That was wild for me to be like, just one piece? Yeah, both of our kids. Um, no, yeah, there's stuff that, you know, like we love Vegas, you know, and stuff like that. I love Vegas. You know, we love a good meal. We love a good night out. We love losing money.

Talk about language. You know? I love losing money. There's something intriguing where you're, I mean, gambling is fun. It's just like, it feels exciting and scary and dumb. Do you know how to play poker? I do know how to play poker. I just learned.

Yeah. Boy, oh boy, it's tough. It's tough. And then I don't understand the coins, because when you're not playing for a ton of money, the coins mean something different, and then there's like 25 cents. And then when you buy in.

Yeah, you have to buy in and shit. Yeah, you feel real Scrooge McDuckie. Yes, like you get back $10. Yeah, or you realize the buy-in was like $500 Oh Okay. Oh, okay. So none of this met anything except for the fact that I don't have any of it I don't have any money and I'm out of the whole thing. Okay. Thank you. Cool room, by the way And my favorite thing to do when playing with friends is I like to just drop the little coins But then people get mad because they don't know how much I've bet and then I'm like it's all part of my strategy Keep it chaotic. So you don't know what I'm gonna do

But nobody likes that. No, I mean your friends do right? No I've been yelled at so many times. Oh my god, that's so funny. Just tell us how much you're betting and I'm like I can't I don't know There's like 325 there's a dollar. There's dude. I don't know. There's like 325. There's a dollar There's dude. I don't know pushing But yeah, I mean there's like things like that that I'm like, oh yeah, that's that's the fun stuff But there's also a bunch of things we don't like I ain't getting into anime. My son is getting into it I'm not like, okay. Okay son. I guess guess we gotta watch Pokemon. Yeah, I mean he watches. I do like Pokemon though.

It's cool. I just kinda like looking at the characters. Sure, but I'm gonna walk away. You know? I'm not gonna stay here for this nonsense. I'm not sticking around for the whole thing. I don't give a shit about Ash Ketchum. I don't.

From Pallet Town. So you did? Oh, you tried. You really did try. I really did. The only anime I actually genuinely like is Sailor Moon. Okay. But I don't like it the proper way.

I liked the dubbed version. I don't know. And there's like a lesson at the end and people are like, that's the bad one. And I'm like, that's the one I like. Yeah. That's okay. Thank you.

You know. Thank you Eugene. It's all okay. Thanks. That's what I think. Everything is okay all the time. Everything is okay. Thank you. You know, thank you. It's okay. Thanks. That's what I think Everything is okay. Everything's okay All right real quick. We have to take a break Eugene can you tell me about one of the worst dates you've ever been on?

um sure, um when I when I When I was doing post-college improviser in between my serial monogamous mind of mine, I was like, oh yeah, I'm supposed to date around or whatever. So then I went on a date and she was like an architect. and she was like an architect. And it was one of those things where I think I must have gave the face the whole time of like, you're not a person that I want to hang. You know, like that person who comes up and goes like, hey, great show. And I'm like, mm-hmm, awesome.

I'm going to go over here and hang out now. I think there was just like too many of those moments that were happening through this meal that just felt so long Like even just like having drinks and just like trying to laugh about certain things was Was just weird and then She mentioned she was like oh well a bunch of my other friends were gonna meet up. I'm like, oh okay, well, you know. She was like, no, I want you to meet everybody

or like hang out. I'm like, oh, okay. I didn't feel. On a first date? Yeah, and it didn't, it felt like her way out, but then I couldn't gauge if she was wanting me to be like, no, no, no, no, go hang out with your friends. But it didn't feel like that.

And I remember being so confused because I'm like, this isn't going well, why would I want to meet more of you? I don't like one of you, why would I want to meet five of you? So then it was a group of them, but like this second bar was like upstairs of something. And I remember on the way up there, to keep it fun for myself, I just walked on the outside of the stairs, like on the outside, and I got to the top and I looked at them and I go, oh, be careful, the stairs are lava. And they looked at me for so long and then continued their conversation just walking up the stairs

and I was just like, oof. Well, this night will end very soon. And it did. They all continue their conversation, walk the talk about architecture or whatever, walking up the stairs, get to the top, we go to that bar. The girl that I was on the date with at this point is just having fun talking to her friends the same way that it must have been, you know, Carmen away of them just being like, look at us having fun without you. And then I like ordered a drink, I think for like everybody,

and then brought them over, and then didn't talk to any of them. And then just like put my drink down without saying bye to anybody and then left. And on the way back down the stairs, just went on the outside of the stairs. Cause that shit's still lava for me. I was like, hey. And then I went to UCB. To commit to the bit. I got to be around people I like. People who like silly shit. I was out with a random,

like this group of people and someone said, oh, this pizza has a crispy bottom. And I was like, that's what they called me in high school. And nobody laughed and I was like, um, the crisp, like it's it's funny. Yeah. A bottom, a top, a crisp, a crispy bottom. And I was like, OK, oh, God. And then when I was leaving New York,

I was very hungover, maybe still drunk. Like three hours of sleep, the driver, the Uber driver opened the door for me, which was very nice and helped me with my suitcase. And then he said a joke and I laughed. And then I got in and he closed the door and then I responded to his joke But he didn't hear me and then I was like oh, that's funny

I said that to myself and then I started laughing so when he got back in the car. I was just like And then he was quiet the whole time. I think he thought I was crazy anyway, oh Identify with being a silly Billy yeah, and people not wanting. And people not ready for it or wanting it in the moment. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. So, which is ultimately great because that relationship would have been so tough. Yes.

To even do a second date, I think. Yes. I mean, the floor is lava or the stairs are lava. That's funny. It's fun, at least. After an okay to shitty date. Yes. But someone to commit going all the way up the stairs turning around going the stairs are lava like that's inherently funny

Yeah, now they might not have even seen me do it because they were just in their own conversation So it could have been even funnier. Yeah, if you normally walked up the stairs and went stairs a lot Weirdo. Honestly though, that's like pretty good odds that that's your worst date. Yeah, yeah. Other ones are just, I would say that was the most like awkward-y ones. Most of the bad dates are the ones that never happened.

Like the ones that are just like, oh, I just, they just said no initially. I think those feel worse than an actual bad one for me. But I don't know. I'm trying to, no, I've definitely asked people out and they've said no. I'm the type of person though where I'm like, wait, no. Why?

Yeah. Why don't you wanna go out with me? Yeah. We were just ha ha haing. Right. But then it just brings me back to like the high school and the growing up thing where I'm like, oh I get it. This is like something else that I'm hoping that this is something else that has nothing to do with me.

That has nothing to do with me. I hope you're just racist and it has nothing to do with me. Yeah. Yeah. I hope you're just like, my parents would hate this. Or whatever. Like, I don't know. But I've always felt like, you know, like the same. I felt like I felt like such a troll for so long.

Even at UCB and even doing stuff, I was just like, oh, I'm just kind of like this other guy. Being an other within a group that you feel comfortable with is wild. It's great. It sucks. Because I've felt like that before where I'm like, I feel accepted and liked, but still othered in the same breath. Yes. And it's like hard to put your finger on.

And then when you figure it out, you're like, huh. Yeah. Well, when do I ever really feel like I belong or feel fully included? Right. Because even because of that, there are still the moments where like you get an opportunity where you know there's a lot of people that are just kind of like, well, you know why. Yes. And you're like, why? I do know why, but are you really going to tell me, say that to me?

Uh-huh. To make yourself feel better about it? Like, that's kinda shitty. Yeah. People will sometimes say that quiet part out loud and you're like, Huh, my dear friend. Yeah. I didn't know you felt that way. Yeah.

That's crazy. That's crazy. And you're my friend. And you're my friend and you're saying this to me. Yeah. And I think it's because sometimes when you're not a white, when you're with the nice whites, your color gets erased. The whole, I don't see color thing, I think, literally comes from

someone being like, oh, I don't think of your ethnicity when I'm talking to you because you're my friend. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But then it allows them to say, oh, I didn't get that job because they went ethnic. And you're like, muh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you're like, oh. Okay. Can't believe you said that to me. Wow, oh, okay. Okay. They opened it up to life. Oh, I get it. Oh, I get it.

They opened it up to all ethnicities, copy. Boy, oh boy, that's a sad thing when you read that. You're like, oh, so they didn't find the perfect white, so they've opened it up. Yeah, or they already have their free whites. And they're like, we gotta show the network something else. Oh man, I mean, that was I mean I remember in New York like auditioning for commercials Mm-hmm. It was just like well how many whites do you have in this beer commercial? Is it a group of people great?

Oh, I might book this Oh, there's just two people it's it's um oh well you're either gonna go two whites or white or white and black. And are they at a house? Okay, I'll bring the beer in. But other than that, it, you know, that shit wasn't happening. No, it's wild. And then also being fat with like food stuff. Like I would get like food breakdowns and I'd be like, I don't want to go out on this. I don't think they want me. I don't think McDonald's is going to have a happy fatty just being like, come on, McDonald's gonna have a happy fatty just being like

McDonald's like Happy fatty We're opening up to other happy fatties of all ethnicities for this one. God, I know. But then people were like, until somewhat somewhat recently, even the improv world was just like not, we couldn't even connect with enough. I mean, still it's like,

there's not enough people of color in classes and stuff because shit is too expensive. It's too expensive and I feel like not quite accessible because I feel like a lot of people I know found improv through like college. Which is like, you gotta have, you know, the funds to do that. And then it's like in New York, you gotta have the funds to live in New York or Chicago or L.A. that yeah and then it's like in New York you got to have the funds to live in New York or Chicago or LA And yeah, it's not brought to people of color which I wish it was same Or you wish that like the people of color who are going to jump in

They're after like you're 101 or whatever and there's nobody that looks like you in those classes You're gonna I'm not gonna work three more shifts so that I can do this thing with everybody. And it's terrible. It is wild. Eugene, do you have any advice for single people? People who are looking? I don't like the idea of changing people.

Or like, or like the way that it's just like, oh, well, or I guess changing people. But also like, well, this person's not this, you know, in your life. Or like, oh, I went on a date with this person, but they didn't they weren't this I will really want this and it's like but you know that was only after Two dates or three dates or even six months like they might not be that now But you don't know what people are gonna grow grow into themselves to be I think I was lucky that Trish and I met early because we were able to grow into themselves to be I think I was lucky that Trish and I met early because we were able to grow into and continue to grow into the people that we are mm-hmm and are becoming better people because

of our experiences together, and I think that there is You know and and we got it. We got together and got engaged before there was Internet dainting, really. So there wasn't a flipbook for you to like dream about what you want to put down on paper first. There wasn't like this like, oh well, if I could have anything, boy, this, this, this, and this. And I'm only doing this. And it's like, but then you like miss things that you never thought that you would be intrigued by or, you know, affected by or excited about.

And those are the things where it's like, you can't control another human being. Isn't that awesome? And instead, people are like, I can't control this person and they're a fucking mess. It's like, maybe they're awesome. Yeah. Okay. Or maybe they're crazy, but that's okay. Make that decision early on. Yeah, you don't have to stay with them if they're crazy. You don't have to stay with them if they're crazy or if it doesn't work out. But you can't make them into something that they're not. But you also, if the things that you aren't willing to compromise for

are things that are traits that can change as people mature, I think that's worth the risk, if that makes sense. I think so. I sometimes get caught up in the whole, you can't control people. And I'm like, but I would like to, because I would like you to do exactly what I want you to do. That's true. And that's not healthy but that but I think in moments that's also okay if it's Responded to correctly. I really wanted you to do this. Okay. Well, I did this instead Okay, I Guess that makes sense. I really would have liked you to do it this way.

But then there has to be a conversation there, I think, that's like, you know, I think there's just, there's too many dudes who are going like, well, that's just the way that I am, you know, and it's like, oh, well, that's, that... Yeah, you don't have to be like that. You can go, I take the note. I will try to change. Okay. I see how that's annoying. That's not great, okay, I'll change it. But that's a scared young man. You'd be surprised how old they get.

Yeah, but I'm talking about in their head. Oh yes, yes, yes. Young in the head. Scared young in the head boy. Old in the face. Very old in the face, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it blows my mind, these men who are 40 years old who are like I don't know what I'm looking for it. I'm like at this point damn

You don't know you don't know what you're looking you don't know what you want You don't you don't know if you want a relationship a fuck buddy. You don't know just say what you want I think that's but that's a scared. That's a scared boy. Yeah at 40 That's a scared boy a little scared boy at fall and if he's a scared boy at 40 That's when you go like, oh, I'm not going to turn you into a man anytime soon. And you're not going to either.

This is not Mulan. I'm not going to make a man out of you! Because probably the best men are women dressed as warriors. Or Donny Osmond. Oh my gosh. Wait, what? Donny Osmond. Oh my gosh. Wait, what? Does Donny Osmond sing the songs even though it was... He did? Oh yeah. You can't recognize, be the man, I'll make a man out of you. I'm like, that ain't an Asian dude singing that. That falls set. I mean,

the way that his voice does that thing. You're like, no Asian girl does that. That's really funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, are you Filipino? I am. Can you sing? Yeah. Really?

Yeah, of course. I just learned that all Filipinos, not to be like, is that a stereotype? It's a positive reinforcement. This is what that is. I just like that all Filipino people can sing. Yes, there are some that are way better than others, but in general.

Will you sing a little? Everybody can commit. Everybody can, what am I singing? I don't know. Okay. Something nice. I don't know what that means. What something nice means.

I actually rubbed my ankles, it was so nice. That was so weird of me, I'm sorry. Okay, what's an ankle rubbing move? Some, some... I don't know. I don't know. Wait, who did you hear this from and how? In what context? I fell down a hole on Instagram.

Where it was Filipino people... Oh, them doing karaoke? No. I guess it was karaoke because they had a microphone, but it just looked like a normal table. And then it showed me children on a competition show where they somewhere in blackface but I liked the air I liked the artistry okay I was okay with it like they Filipino kids dresses like the Bee Gees and like the Jackson five I was like I don't know I think this black face was fine. Yeah. Oh, I'm just like. I was just.

I was just. We're okay with it. We like it. And then it just kept showing me Filipino people with beautiful voices. Yeah. And I was like, whoa, the whole country? This is wild.

Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot. Give me some. They're great. Come on. Was the make a man out of you wasn't enough? Well, that's why I brought it up. Because it was so nice.

Oh, I see. Do you know Celine Dion? I don't by heart. Sorry. I don't. Also, that's not my range. Sorry. Okay, fair.

I did put you on the spot. I won't make you sing. We'll figure it out soon. I will just have to go back and listen to The Make A Man Outta You, because it was really nice. It was okay. No, I really liked it. I really liked it.

Real ankle weirdness going on. Eugene, I have a question. I've asked almost all my guests this. I've missed it a couple times. You have? Yeah. I mean, sometimes it's as if I've never hosted an episode of this. Like, I just get confused.

Would you date me? Yes. Yes! Of course. Eugene, thank you. Yeah. That was the question that you forget to ask, even though that's the name of the show? Sometimes the TV's not on.

No, I'm kidding. It's always on. I can't believe that's the TV. Oh my god. Eugene, thank you so much for being here. Is there anything you would like to promote? No. It's the new year. Let's enjoy it. Isn't Star Trek Luridex?

Oh yeah, Star Trek Luridex. It's on Fairmount+. You can watch it at season five. Man on the Inside is on Netflix now. You can watch The Good Place and Loki and all of these other things I have done. One more question before we go. When you do, cause you've done Star Trek cruises. Yes. Do people throw themselves at you there?

They not throw themselves because they're so into Star Trek that they're very into the show. So it's just a lot of people just. You're just a vessel to get them what they want. Just a vessel to talk about more Trek, which is interesting in a way. But yeah, and if anything, it's just like, they think it's fun to like buy people from the cast

a drink and hang out and stuff. I thought the sentence was gonna end, buy people from the cast. And I was like, what is Star Trek doing? It's so crazy. On those cruises, those people have a lot of money. You end up on an island and then they auction you off as human beings.

Oh no. Yeah, yeah. It's a different type of cruise. It's a throwback cruise. It's a throwback cruise. We end up on a different country and you are no longer yourself. And then you have to work like really terrible jobs

for a while. Build railroads, all those kinds of things. Okay, listen, slavery, all of it's bad. But the worst part for me is like... Okay, tell me the worst part for you for slavery real quick. Before we end this show, because you did ask the question that is on everybody's mind

and also on the back here. You have a name and then all of a sudden someone starts shouting a different name at you. They're like, Amy! Amy! And you're like, who's Amy? Like, okay. So that's the worst part, is that they can't talk to you in your normal name.

It's not the job you have and the fact that you barely have enough rations, a place to sleep, or your family's around anymore. It's the fact that they call you Amy instead of Nicole. I feel like, I feel like I'd be like, this is so disrespectful. That's disrespectful. That's the part. You can at least call me by my name. Please call me this. Call me Nicole. But would you want that at that point?

I guess not. I guess I'm a new person. Yeah, that's like prison stuff where you're like, just call me by my number, because I feel like I'm done. Is that what they do in prison? I'm done, yeah. Did you see the Joker too? I did not know I should go to the movies. It's the last 15 minutes of that movie you or your life as well I think every movie I see from now on the last 15 minutes. I'm gonna be like this has to be Nicole

Oh, okay. I'm gonna ruin it. It's been out. Are you gonna see it? This has to be Nicole. Oh, okay. I'm gonna ruin it. It's been out. Are you gonna see it? Uh, I- you're not gonna ruin Joker too for me. Okay. He's like shaking her and he's like, Please stop singing. Please stop singing. And she continues to sing. And sometimes I'm like, Hey, can like everyone slow down and like chill out for a second? The world's moving too fast.

So, okay, if you like this episode- Wait a minute. Hang on. A, how is that a spoiler? You just told me that that Joaquin Phoenix shook Lady Gaga. That's it. I mean that wasn't anything that I'm like, holy shit. That's not Batman or whatever. Like you're just talking about shaking. Like I think that happens early on in the movie, too, probably Right Maybe he must grab her by the shoulders and shakes her at some point. He's the Joker. That's what no Joker does No, they have like a meat cue. Oh, they do yeah

And then he shakes the shit out of her and tells her to stop saying yeah Cuz he's like I need you to stop singing okay, and I'm like ah yeah I want to like shake the world and be like, can we just slow down a little bit? Oh, I see and as she's singing and now make a man out of you. That's nice. Oh My god Now I have to go to the Philippines. That's daddy Ozpin. Oh, yeah, you want to meet a crooner? You should go to the Philippines and meet a crooner. I want to You know the coolest thing about the crooners in the Philippines?

This is not racist or anything either. Is that they, that you learn English in school, but you speak Tagalog mostly still. So you have a Filipino accent, but then when they sing, it's gone. That's delightful. That's why when you like, if you watch Journey, if you watch the lead singer for Journey was a bartender in the Philippines. Uh-huh. And then he became the new lead singer from Journey.

And when you watch concert videos of him, he's like, Good evening Cleveland. I hope you all have a great night tonight. Lying beside you, here in the dark. And you're like, what what the fuck and he kills it It's really funny. You really do have a lovely voice Well, everybody in the Philippines could sing journey. He does it the best Yeah, why? Do you know why I don't know why everybody does I know that like there was a karaoke machine in our house growing up and

And every party people sing karaoke every Christmas. It's just a part of the culture. It's just part of the culture What's the language you said? Tagalog. Tagalog. Yeah. Do you speak Tagalog? I don't. Oh my god, Tagalog. I understand it. My parents didn't teach it to me because they wanted me to I could understand it

But they wanted me to respond in English, so I wouldn't have an accent Oh I could understand it, but they wanted me to respond in English, so I wouldn't have an accent. Oh. So instead I had a Detroit slang to me that wasn't helpful either. That's very funny. My dad moved from... I have to end this podcast, but my dad moved from Barbados when he was like 17, so he had like a slight accent. And I wish my dad had taught me slang. Because they are speaking English,

but there's just like a lot of different isms and yeah Yeah, and I wish I like could understand it a little bit better. I understand it a little but hey It's what happens when your parents are like I want you to assimilate and I don't want any like my my aunt does She can't understand it, but she like won't use the slang and stuff because she was like growing up They used to call us Jamaican and make fun of us and stuff Yeah, right. I was like damn Why would you make fun of a Jamaican or a Bajan or any island person? Start with an accent end with an accent

Okay, Eugene truly. Thank you so much for being here. This was delightful You're truly a delight and I adore you. And everything you do, you're just so fucking funny. And I'm so happy for your success and stuff. Cause truly, you be killing it. Anyway, if you like this episode of Why Woudn't You Date Me, you can like it, you can rate it, you can give me five stars on Apple Podcasts. And if you write me something nasty too,

why won't you date me? Podcasts at gmail.com. You have to like say something nasty, I'll read it. Okay, Nicole, if I had one night with you, I'd tie you to the bed, take my sweet time tasting every inch of that gorgeous body. Ooh, even my ankles. And by the time I'm done, you'll be dripping more than an ice cream cone in the sun. And then I would take you to Jenny's for ooey gooey butter cake ice cream together. You'll be dripping from two places. I hate Jenny's. Wow.

It took me right out of it. Wow. Halfway home and then not even close. Well, way to pick the wrong ice cream place. Well, do you want to know why I don't like Jenny's? I have a portion control problem. I overeat. I said, may I have a kid's scoop? They said, we don't do half a kid's scoop. I said, may I have half a kid's scoop?

They said, we don't do half a kid's scoop. I said, but just leave some ice cream in there. Yeah. And don't give me as much. Don't waste it. And they said no. And they wouldn't do that. Oh my gosh.

Bye bye! You've been listening to Why Won't You Date Me with me, Nicole Byer. This show is produced and edited by Mars with executive producer Anya Kenovskaya. It's engineered by Casey Donahue with guest research by Lindsay Kemp. Our VP of content at Headgum is Katie Moose and our theme music is arranged by Mike Kamate. Ah, thanks for listening! We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. See you then. Okay. Bye-bye.

That was a HeadGum Podcast. Hi, I'm Caleb Herron, host of the So True Podcast now on HeadGum. Every week, me and my guests get into it and we get down to what's really going on. I ask them what's so true to them, how they got to where they are in life, a bunch of other questions, and we also may or may not test their general trivia knowledge. Whether it's one of my sworn enemies like Brittany Broski or Drew Fualo, or my actual biological mother, Kelly, my guests and I are just after the truth. And if we find it great, and if not, no worries. So subscribe to So True on Spotify Apple podcast pocket casts or Wherever you get your podcasts and watch video episodes on the so true with Caleb Heron YouTube channel new episodes drop every Thursday

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