Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Mutual Ghosting (w/ Robin Fierce)

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

Drag queen Robin Fierce (Drag Race S15) LIP-SYNCS TO THIS VERY PODCAST! She talks about remixing Nicole's comedy in her drag performance, opens up about her relationship with Drag Race contestant Amethyst, shares the new subtle way to look for a sugar daddy on dating apps,  and speaks out on how people are using Grindr for their own personal meet & greets.  Robin gives us a exclusive look at her Snatch Game audition as Nicole Byer (and why it didn't help her book the show). Plus, the haunting tale of a Grindr date with a catfish.  For more drag queen interviews, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: bit.ly/wwydmdrag Nicole wants to hear from you! Need dating or relationship advice from Nicole and her guest? Submit your question to [e-mail] for a chance to have it answered on an upcoming special mailbag episode. Follow Nicole Byer: See Nicole on tour! Get tickets at linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Hi, hi, hello. Okay. Do you have a burning question about dating, sex, or love that you'd like me and my guests to answer on the podcast? Okay, because you can send it to whywon'tyoudateme podcast at jamel.com for a chance to have it read on an upcoming special episode of the show. I hope to hear from you. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Oh, baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me?

A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I'm still single. Listen, there were no answers, so now I'm just exploring love. My voice sounds like this because I just got back from Las Vegas yesterday. But my guest today is a sensational drag queen who competed on RuPaul's Drag Race Season 15. She is the first drag queen to guest speak at Yale University and has been a trailblazer for the Connecticut drag community. She's turned this podcast into her performance art, masterfully lip syncing clips to my voice, which I fucking love. It's Robin Thears.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Hello. Nicole, I probably owe you so much money. No. Get those royalties, baby. You know, when I first saw it, I was like, this is incredible. This is such a compliment.

When I first saw it, I was like, this is incredible. This is such a compliment. Honestly, it is my absolute favorite number to do. I think people think that I am not this wild, crazy person on the inside, but I really am. And that number really exudes my life energy. I love it it like when i first saw it i truly was just like wait that's my voice what made you decide to use clips from this podcast um i think out so the specific clip is when you say um why won't you date me um i've done this number so many times I'm forgetting it. Even though I'll let you come in my wig

and I'll put it on my head and pretend it's wig glue. And ever since, ever since I heard that, I was like, okay, I have to save this and make it a mix one day. And then when your comedy special came out

and you're shouting at people to eat their partner's pussy. I'm like, oh, that's literally gold. I have to put these together and make a whole Nicole Byer mix. Like, fangirl moment. When I talk about you, especially like before the show, I would always be like, well, still after. It would be, no, nothing has changed. Nothing has changed. You're like, after the the show i don't like you as much no after the show you weren't a guest judge

so then my opinion just i was honestly so like i saw that you got cast and i was like oh i hope i get to judge i hope i get to see her and then i did not get to judge which i get it try to get you know different new people in. But I was really fucking bummed. So I was bummed that you weren't there. But also, if you were there, do you know how pissed I would have been if I missed you? I would have went down to World of Wonder and burned everything. No, I'm kidding.

World of Wonder. Please. I'm not. I'm kidding. I'm not an arsonist. I'm not an arsonist. I'm not coming through like that. I'm very grateful. Thank you so much.

But yeah, when I saw the comedy special, I needed to put it in a mix and just... People go crazy when I point at them, whether they're together or not, and use your words of, you have to eat her pussy tonight. I you to eat it it's it's great accidentally sometimes i'll point at um a mom and a son and then it's awkward you know it's just a little weird but hey welcome to drag welcome to drag it. I did that. I recorded in Montreal.

So it was like French Canadians. So they were confused about me. And that bit went better in America. I'll say that. I'm sure. I am sure. And I did two shows. I think we pulled from the first one because I think the second one, they were actually frowning at me.

So if y'all at home can't see this because you can't, my mouth is literally agape. Sometimes people don't want the comedy. They don't. People don't know how to laugh people don't know how to be told to eat their partner out but it's like i started doing the bit because i can't remember i i think i said you need to eat your girlfriend out at a show and i think the man shook his head no at me and i was like what and then i just started like laying into him and it became the bit. Honestly, it needs to. I don't know what's going on with y'all out there. But if you are with someone, fellatio, like it's a must.

You have to. It has to happen at some point. Like that is that's love. That's affection. That's kindness. I think so. And it's not even about like reciprocation. It's just like I enjoy sucking your dick. So I would love it if you loved about like reciprocation. It's just like, I enjoy sucking your dick. So I would love it if you loved eating my puss. Exactly. I even, you know, even in the gay world, we have tops for y'all that don't know that. Tops are like the giver.

Oh, I think everyone listening knows what a top, a bottom, and a verse is. There are tops that just refuse to suck dick. And it doesn't make you a bottom to suck dick. It's fine. You are. You are giving your person pleasure. OK. Yes.

Honestly, a top should be doing that. They should. Absolutely. They should be top and they should be suck and they should be poking. They should be licking everything. You're a top. Be aggressive about it. Wait, Robin, I need to know this okay are you single

are you dating do you not want to say no i don't mind saying um it's this is advertising um i am indeed single okay um this is honestly the longest period of time that I have been single as an adult, which doesn't I don't count like little dates here and there and stuff like that. But yeah, it's probably been like three or four years since I've been actually like in something like, oh, this could be a relationship in a relationship or a relationship. In a relationship or a situation ship, whatever that might be. Those are always fun and exhausting. Honestly, a situation ship is nice because I like to think sometimes I'm kind of like a cat where I want your attention. You can pet me, like, give me your love, but then... But then leave me the fuck alone.

Stay away from me, and I don't want to have to tell you to stay away from me. I just want you to know. I just want you to take some context clues and get the fuck up out of my house. Yeah. No, I get that. Wait, okay, so Robin,

what are you looking for in a partner? I think, one, they need to be good communicators and direct. I am not very good at flirting, so the initial contacts need to be like, oh yeah, you're cute, or do you want to fuck, or do you want to go on a date? Like I need directness for me. So that is important. Someone who is funny, someone who is able to like actually pull conversation from me. Cause if you don't give me energy, then I'm not going to give it back to you. Like it has to really be like a back and forth scenario and some people especially now being on this end of quote-unquote celebrity like everybody just expects you to be like the person that keeps going like hey hi how are you oh my god no

I have there's levels I'm not like yeah the most all the time I agree with you but also when people are direct I get confused. I went out to dinner last night and it's this place called the nice guy in LA. So there's like a bouncer at the door and then you have to walk in and talk to the hostess or whatever. And as I was leaving, the bouncer was like, hope to see you sooner rather than later. And like kind of like really like smiled at me and I just went, and then walked away. My friend friend was like you could have said i hope to see you soon or like

thank you or good night she's like you just laughed at him but i think he was trying to flirt with that's not if somebody said that to me i would probably like maybe get the hint a little bit more but that's not fully direct. That's not the directness we need. I needed him to be like, bitch, I want to see you soon because you're hot. And I'd be like, oh. I probably still would have been like, yeah. Okay, I need to know though, was the food good? I like their food.

I think they have really delicious food. What kind of food is it? It's like Italian American. It's honestly more of a place for like sightseeing people like very very like how do i say this it's like a lot of ladies in like fashion nova with gucci bags like being seen and doing coke in the bathroom like the food is the least important part of the experience i would kind of hate it there the food is the least important part of the experience. See, I would kind of hate it there.

The food is just as important for me as the people watching. Yeah, but I do like, like, there was a man in there wearing sunglasses, and it was, I don't know, midnight, and just never took them off. Like, how do you see? I have no idea,

and he was also ordering chocolate espresso martinis, and I was like, so you're never going to go to sleep. Oh, he's had a long day. I'm pretty sure he's doing coke in the bathroom, and he was just like chocolate espresso martinis and i was like so you're never gonna go to sleep oh he's had a long day doing coke in the bathroom and he was just like i'm gonna be awake forever you know what's the point of sleep it's a waste of time it's a waste of time you gotta get shit done stay awake forever wait okay since drag race has appeared, are people sliding in your DMs trying to get at you? Not as much as I want. Oh, okay.

No. Okay. Sometimes I go back and forth. Because sometimes it's like, this is not the place. If you, like, you can't just start with nudes or something. Like, maybe like a, hey, you're cute. And I'm like, thank you you're cute too and then maybe uh we can get into it but honestly no I think um one thing I've gotten

from my grandmother is this eternal resting bitch face so if I'm not directly smiling at you you think I am just the most uninterested in everything around me. So I feel like people are a little scared to come up to me or DM me or something. Especially because like, not to get into all the dragger stuff, but I think perception of me is like, I'm this grand diva. Well, I did say I am the grand diva of Connecticut. So I guess that's my fault. You're like, I don't know why people think I'm this Grand Diva. And you're like, actually, I said it's the first thing I said. Yeah. So because I was talking like this and all of that, they think that I'm kind of above it,

but I'm not. I am, in the words of Sam Smith, a dick pig like the rest of everybody else. No, I'm kidding. I'm not a dick pig, but it's nice. of everybody else. No, I'm kidding. I'm not a dick pig, but it's nice. Dicks are nice. I do think they're lovely. And sometimes I think about this one that I used to fuck for a little bit. It was attached to a bad man, but it was like, I don't know, like eight inches uncut and thick and girthy. And I sometimes before bed will be like, do you remember that delicious dick you used to have on the regular? And then I'll like snuggle up in my bed and be like, and then have a nice sleep remembering that huge honking dick. Honestly, memories.

In the words of Jennifer Hudson, memory, all alone in the mood. Also, Nicole, can I say, as an avid listener of many of your podcasts, I feel like your singing has improved that's what some people say but i think it's one of those things where like you've just become accustomed to it like you've just heard it so many times and you're like this isn't that bad it's like an acquired taste yes you keep dipping it and dipping out and you're like yeah you know I think I like it

okay well Robin thank you you sing right I do sing um maybe whenever I'm in LA I'll give you like a lesson or two oh my god I would love it I was taking lessons with this wonderful woman who I love um but like I think she was trying to get me comfortable with singing. But at one point, she was like, what is your goal? And I was like, to be a good singer. And she was like, what is good? And I was like, we all know what good is. Yeah. Like, I know you're trying to be That is such a hard question. I just started doing vocal coaching, like somebody coaching me on vocal stuff. Like I've been singing all my life, but I want to take it even more seriously and do more music stuff. And the first ones were like what are your goals I'm like

do people just come here to just like fuck around like to be a good singer like I don't know how to answer that question whatever goes into being a good singer I want you to teach me that I think sometimes do people do stuff that pushes them out of their comfort zone to like get more confidence like i know in my first like improv class there'd be like a bunch of like lawyers or like paralegal profession i don't know what people like real jobs are but you know like people who didn't want to be in the entertainment business and they were just literally doing it to be able to do like presentations and stuff right and I was like that's wild that you decided to take an improv but I guess it helps people honestly I I do believe in therapy but I have not gone to a therapist this vocal coaching thing is kind of like therapy

because I feel like with my voice and just with sometimes performing in general, especially out of drag, sometimes I'll get in my head or I won't like relax as much as I need to. And my vocal coach is like, you need to relax. You need to believe in yourself because the things that you want me to teach you, you're already doing. You just don't know you're doing it or have confidence in that. So yeah. Who would have known that vocal coaching can be therapy too? Who would have known? I love that the message is like, it's already inside of you. Yes.

So for all the little babies out there, it's already inside of you. It's already there. Performing, I don't really perform outside of what I call my own drag, which is makeup, contouring, a wig. And then usually I just wear like a cute little outfit or whatever. But I couldn't imagine like there's people who perform, who do comedy just without makeup.

And I'm like, where's your mask? What if they don't like you and you're not serving face? Cause I'm always like, if I bomb, at least I'm pretty. What if that is part of their comedy? Never thought of it that way. least I'm pretty what if that is part of their comedy or maybe they're just like supremely sweaty and they don't want to deal with the mascara running or like the frown lines or

something like that maybe but you gotta get yourself some Maybelline I love Maybelline. I love Maybelline. Wait, Dara. Maybe it's Maybelline. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. Honestly, you should be a spokesperson for them because I feel like that would be a hilarious commercial. I'm just like dripping in sweat and I'm like, not writing, it's Maybelline. Wait, okay, Robin. I do want to ask you this.

It might be boring or dumb, because I feel like they were trying to push the storyline on the show, and it didn't really go anywhere. But you dated Amethyst. And how did that come about? Like, when she, who walked in first? You were there first. She walked into the, it was Lucy, her, then me.

Okay. They saved the prettiest Connecticut girl. Her last. I laugh, but I believe it. No, yes, we did have a time of situationship. I think that we talked about it briefly and then the cast members made it into more

of a thing by making jokes about it. And because I feel like we didn't expand upon what exactly transpired, it became this thing of, oh, they were in a whole relationship and lovers, ex-lovers on the

show. No. We, and honestly, any other interviewers out there, I will never talk about this again, but Nicole asked me, so she gets to. Thank you. I figured it was just like a like boring topic, but I was like, I just want to bring up just because I wanted to know what it felt like to have that storyline try to seem to be a thing that was being pushed when it wasn't actually anything. I think both of our drag is more than the very, very brief time that we messed around. And it also got to a point where it wasn't anything

like super serious at all either. And at the time, I was a full-time drag queen. She was coming up. So I was very busy. She's also, like I said on the show, not the best of communicators and texters. So eventually, honestly, we both ghosted each other. Okay. And I love it. And there you have it. It was a mutual ghosting of each other. And that was really the end of it. And we still

were friends after that. And it really didn't cause a bunch of tension until... Until it was rehashed on the show. It was rehashed. Yeah, I get it. Okay, real quick, we have to take a break. Be-bop, bo-bop, bop, bop, we're back. Okay, so... Oh my gosh, that's how that works. Yeah, we just slide an ad right in there. And I don't know what it'll be. But anyway, so people, not enough people have been sliding into your DMs,

but like, during shows, have people been flirting with you? Have you run into any clown chasers? I don't live for a clown chaser because I am not the girl to do the things in the clown costume. In the drag, okay. If you are going to flirt with me do it like out of drag because i don't know when i'm in drag if you're flirting with me one just to be funny two just to like uh because you like what you see on right now or if you actually want to take this stuff off of me and do more things out of drag. So yeah, it happens sometimes. I,

again, have that resting bitch face energy. So it's not like it happens very often. And I'm not telling the world, hey, every communication you have with me has to be you hitting on me. Like, no. But if you do have an interest and you would like to express that, that's fine. I'm either going to tell you, yeah, sure, I'm into that. Or, no, thank you. I mean, those are quality options, a yes or a no. What are you looking for?

What's like, what's your like perfect partner? Um, a cute man that can do all the things. I am a verse person, so I enjoy a verse person. However, however, comma, if you are one or the other, we can make that work too. If you are one or the other, we can make that work, too. But if you do have that verse person in you, that just makes it even better for everyone involved. Okay, I like this. I don't know. Um, there was a very big Twitter moment of drag race girls who only date white people, which was a whole nother whole nother thing.

I would just like. I didn't see that. Oh, yeah, girl. It was. That's a whole nother monster. Oh, no. I would like to let the world know I am the United Nations. I don't care what the fuck you are.

We are open. These borders are open to all. Take the wall down. Take the wall down. I mean, that's how I feel. I don't have a preference. I truly, I don't know. I'm just into like people that I find attractive with big honking dicks. Or if they don't have a dick, we can go find one.

But yeah, mostly just like attracted to me. Nice. Yes. And has a job. Oh, yes. That is very important. Please have some kind of employer. I don't need you to necessarily be in entertainment.

I don't need you to be the richest person in the world, but please be able to pay your own way. I am not a sugar daddy. I'm not a sugar mama. Like that's not, no, I'm not Jen. So for the people on Grindr who are looking for a little Jen,

that is not this bitch right here. Wait, what is this? I don't know all the ins and outs of grinder i just i know like a couple of things this is a new information a gem gen gen like generous a gen generous oh okay yeah basically that is a subtle way of asking for a sugar daddy that's not me for someone who's Jen. No, I'm not generous. Thanks. That's such a funny thing to fucking say. No, I'm not generous, but thank you for asking.

There are some people who they'll have a whole conversation with you. And then after the conversation, be like, are you Jen? I'm like, oh, look. But I'm like oh look but I've also like deleted I've also deleted um at least for now I've deleted Grindr so oh which honestly do you have any other apps no I um Tinder never works out for me I feel like um people on Tinder I mean I could be wrong I feel like people on Tinder usually at least in my, are usually just looking for skinny white twinks and that is not me. So I really don't have that much luck on Twitter. I mean, Tinder. And I've had many a good times. But I think it was time that I kind of put the kibosh to that, at least for a little bit. Also, listening to T.S. Madison talk about how she deleted these apps because somebody's like, girl, you shouldn't be on here, kind of was even more encouragement for that to happen. was even more encouragement for that to happen.

And then it also became this thing where people would use Grindr as their own personal meet and greet. Oh. And that became a little like, yes, thank you. I really generally do appreciate that you appreciate me. But this is not the kind of appreciation that I'm looking for right now.

Yes. I've had that problem too, where I'm like, come to a show, DM me on Instagram, but I'm literally here for one purpose and that is to find someone to love me. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. There was one occasion that was great that it ended up being a successful scenario. Okay. And that was, I communicated with this person. I think they actually, they might have messaged me first or I might have tapped them and then they messaged me and we were having communications. Everything was lining up how it was supposed to be. And then we, they came over to the hotel room

we did the business um it was lovely for all parties after the fact um i forget how it we start talking about it but i'm like he started talking about like how he's done drag once i'm like oh cool let me see pictures he showed me the picture and then i showed him um my early pictures of drag and i'm like okay but this is me now and then he was like oh i know and i was like oh okay um that's that's nice i'm glad that it wasn't like a whole because none of our communications it seemed like he was trying to like pull information from me or he was just like oh my gosh that's robin fierce i have to have to fuck her um like it wasn't it wasn't like a clown chase scenario it was and then uh the response was well we're here to have fun we're not here to talk about work so yeah and i was like you know that's really nice

and that's the way to go about it as opposed to some people who i'll try to link up and they'll be like how long are you in town? Are you traveling soon? I'm like, well, how do you know that I travel? Yeah. Do you know who I am? Doing gigs. Like if you bring up something that I haven't spoken to you about, that's weird.

Or if your first thing in the conversation is, are you Robin Fierce? Then I'm just like, okay a it's a little strange okay um i do love that scenario like what a treat for someone to be like oh yes i do know who you are didn't lead with that um i also do drag but like we're not here i'm not trying to like mine you for information i am just here because I thought I would like you as a person. I love that so much because sometimes on the apps, I'll be talking to people and then they'll, like, say things from, like, a show or whatever or, like, quote me.

And sometimes, like, I talk so much for a living. I don't remember half the shit I say and I'll be like, wait, what? And then they'll be like, well, you said that I nailed it. And I'm like, oh, I don't know. I'm so sorry. Let's not talk about my past work, you know, until like a couple dates.

And I don't know. It just seems like off the bat, very jarring. Yeah. The only quotes, this is funny to me and the girls in my girl group challenge where I unfortunately went home. The only quote that we thought was going to be a thing and if it ever happened in the world, in my old lady lyric, one of them was, baby, did you eat today? Me and Anitra and Jax were hard pressed to think that one day somebody was just going to

be getting their ass eaten and turn around and be like, baby, did you eat today? And that would be hilarious to me. Also, this is not welcoming people to just start doing that. But that to me, me and Anitra had so many laughs about the scenarios in which that might happen. My God, what a treat that would be. Baby, did you eat today? That would be so funny. I think that's very, very funny. Also, I don't think you deserve to go home that challenge.

Thank you. I think for me, I think that my time on Drag Race, nobody was bad. And I'm happy to have been on, I was about to say 16, on 15, where literally everyone was amazing at what they did. I am a huge fan of drag. Outside of Drag Race, I love drag. So to be around so many amazing drag queens was, for me like the best part. And that's, if it sounds cliche, sorry. But that was literally the best part for me. So for the five episodes that I was there, or six, whatever it was, nobody did terrible. And the people that were in the bottom, somebody just did better. And in a competition, that happens. I knew my elimination episode that my team was going to be in the bottom.

So I was not suffering from drag delusion. I have gotten my immunizations. But it is what it is. Me and Jax had an amazing lip sync um and hey I looked fucking amazing you did look amazing I feel like it's so the fandom of the show is so uh I don't want to say like insane or toxic or like mean, but like some people are really like mean on Twitter. And I don't think people understand what it is like to walk into something alone with a bunch of cameras around you and producers talking to you, telling you to act natural, asking you to create something out of thin air and then learn a choreography like a dance and sing something like it's really intense and that last challenge was very very difficult very intense a whole routine crazy as an old person and it was like what was it rapping grannies we had

i honestly i wanted country i wanted country but, the, the metal gate, they were arguing over. Yes, metal gate. They were arguing over country versus metal. So my team was literally like, oh, we're not involved in this. We're going to take the easy road and just get, get hip hop and call it a day. But I would, I really wanted country because I wanted to sing. And then you get the kind of quote of Jax going, sing something, Robin,

and me just looking like, what the fuck is going on? But how can you sing something when you literally do not have time to learn it? And no shade to Leland. We love Leland. But I was trying to review the track, and that's why I wasn't singing anything. But I don't want to say too much because I don't want World of Wonder to come for me

and I want to be on All Stars at some point. So, yay. I would love to see you on All Stars. I gotta say that your season is, it's one of my favorite recent seasons because everyone is so strong and all the lip syncs were so fun i thought the challenges were fun like uh mistress gave good tv i lucy gave good tv like it was just

it i it was so fun and it is interesting to watch a show and then be like like oh that person i'm sure did more fun things you just didn't include them do you know what i mean i mean i think it happens and i think that and this really isn't like a pc answer but i think like people have jobs to do and like there are people that wanted to see more of me and that's fine it is what it is like you have a job to do you have a show that has to be put on and this is sometimes the most effective way to get the story across. So things are going to get cut out. Things are going to get left on the cutting room floor.

Like when I was in high school, I went to a trade school here in Connecticut. And my trade was media production. So I was going to go into like film and all of that stuff. And this is going to sound terrible, but my instructor, when we were editing, sometimes he would keep too much stuff in. And then he was like, yeah, this is your baby, but sometimes you have to kill babies and like take pieces out. And it sounded harsh really in the moment, but especially now as I make my own content and stuff, I'm like, you know, sometimes I have to kill these babies. I love them, but they don't serve a purpose. It happens.

It is what it is. But we are here. We're here. It is wild. I think another phrase for that is killing your darlings. I think that's the nicer way to say it. You know, that is a way nicer version of saying that. And I wish that that was

would have been told to me because that quote would have... Yeah, you just think about killing babies. Maybe that's why I'm for abortion rights now. But, yeah, gotta kill them babies. See you later. Oh my God, somebody's gonna take this

and spin it so hard that little part out that's why we're killing babies but i have a hard time editing like i'll have a joke i have a like a i think it's eight or nine minutes it's a very long joke that i'm like i should edit this down so people can actually like enjoy it yeah because a nine minute joke you and it's a joke that you have to listen to like you can't dip in and out you can't like enjoy it. Yeah. Because a nine minute joke, and it's a joke that you have to listen to. Like you can't dip in and out. You can't like, how much is the check? Oh wait, what is she saying?

Well, I don't get it. Like you have to sit and listen. I mean, I do like a story though. I do like a story. Not even a story. It's an actual like joke that I wrote about Disney. And I like have like every couple of minutes, I'm like,

are you still with me? Okay. We're still going. It's still good. It's so long. And I'm like, if I just edited this down to two minutes, it would be a great joke.

I would have all the hits. Like it would be fine. It would be just as fine as a game in a joke. Honestly, I understand that. Sometimes I will watch back my snatch game and i get even though it was brief i'm like oh my gosh i see where the joke was but you took entirely you said inside highly too much before you said the thing that could have been funny so wait who did you do again for snatch i did

karen huger from the real housewives yes yes yes not potomac potomac yeah oh yes it is potomac sorry um can i ask a question sure why didn't you do me because i was sent a picture of you posed for like in my book cover like uh so that was from that was from three years ago and I think aesthetically I didn't know which direction to go with it because I've auditioned as you twice and the first time auditioned like looking more like you and I'm like oh this could be problematic this little skinny twink trying to be Nicole Byer and And then the second time I auditioned with you, I think was more successful. And then the time that I got on, I didn't

because I'm like, oh, maybe it was just like too much. They were like, finally, we didn't like her as Nicole. So she can finally come on the show. Because I think me auditioning as you was mostly me just screaming. Yeah, I mean, that's mostly what I do. It's that. I'd say 50% of my comedy is just. And I'm like, okay, maybe they just didn't want somebody to be like screaming the whole time.

But I think, well, let me see if I can remember. I think I started it like at um started like oh baby i'm so excited to be here at snatch games you got some dick for me rupaul and then i would like do already do the laugh honestly if you get on all stars no i'll say when you get on All Stars, no, I'll say when you get on All Stars, I give you full permission to wear a fat suit and you could put a little double chin on you. I'm okay with that. Okay. I know some fat people are like, no, but I don't know.

I think I would love to see the transformation. I would love it i would be flattered i will i will bring you as one of the options uh my other option that i i mean maybe i shouldn't say just in case i do get on but like um you never know uh i was gonna do uh lily hayes which is this tiktok person which i know r RuPaul would not know who it is. No. But she's like this older lady, and she talks like this,

and she talks about her son, and it's like, you idiot! And she doesn't know how to like... Oh, yes! She's like an older Russian lady. And she's always like, I want the pumpkin pie! The pumpkin pie!

You idiot! I want the pumpkin pie! Like that, for for me is hilarious. But another version of me just like yelling at people. I mean, I'm here for it. I love screaming. Wait, Robin, real quick. We got to take another break.

Break, break, break. Break, break, break, break. We're back. Wait, sidebar. Sorry. And you can cut this out. You can cut this out. Okay.

On Drag Her, you coined bring back my break. After the break came back, why not before the break say bring back my break because i have adhd and my brain works faster than my mouth and i like came out and then i realized it didn't make sense because we would finish the break and then I'd say bring back the break so it's like asking for another break and then I didn't realize it and I guess mono didn't realize it and then when we did realize it we were like oh fuck it we just we'll just leave it it's canon at this point it's iconic behavior. Wait, Robin, I must know. How did you get into drag? Well, when I was a gay bee, it was a very wild time. Uh-huh.

But I wanted to dive into, like, all the queer culture and all that stuff. So I started watching Drag Race. I'm like, I want to understand this thing. Because somebody invited me to a drag show before I came out. And I'm like, no, that's weird. But that was my own, like, like coming out. But I think that was their way of being like, I know you're a little gay and I feel like you would like this. And it was a soft way of trying to get me to come out, I think. But yeah, when I came out, when I was like end of 19 going into 20,

I started watching Drag Race. I'm like, huh, well, these weirdos aren't more or less weird than me. So maybe I should give it a go because they seem to be just like normal people, just like everybody else who have layers to them. to them and then i started practicing my makeup in my ex-boyfriend's um house who my father lovingly would refer to as the alien uh he thought he looked crazy that's very funny oh my friend your dad like your ex-boyfriend or he just thought he looked weird? No, he thought he was, it was strange. He was a very tall, gangly man, bald with the longest nails and like always in flip flops. You're not describing this person well.

I mean, I just, the image that's in my head is truly wild. Shocking to me. Honestly, like he was, the face was cute. He was, he was nice. Uh, but I'm glad that's done. Um, yeah, it was, it was a wild time. And then I think after, after that was the time that I got catfished and that was really wild. Look, as a gaybie, you take these risks. And sometimes it's not worth it. Wait, okay. How were you catfished?

How did this go? So this was a grinder moment. This is why I ask for people's Snapchats now. So I can verify like face pictures. So we were talking on one of the apps and everything is going well. We traded pictures. He sent me like

a face picture of himself because it was just like a headless torso. Like many people love to pose as themselves. I'm just like, like send a face picture. It's like eventually

you're going to show me your face. Just put your face on your profile. Before I continue the story, I need y'all out there to know this. Send clear face pictures, current and clear. That means not from a distance, not from the side, straight on, not with sunglasses, not a picture from 10 years ago when you thought you looked hot and now you might have. No. When you've deflated a little bit, I want to see the deflation. Yes. I want to see you now.

You got to update the picture. Honestly, it should be like an ID. It expires. The picture is gone from the app and then you have to retake it. It expires every six months. Yes. A lot can happen every six months. Yes. A lot can happen in six months. Yeah.

So we traded pictures. We did all the thing. We're talking. Everything lined up. So I drove to their house because at the time I could not host. So went to them. Then I get there and he's in this apartment building. And he's like, oh, you have to go through the window.

And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, oh, no, I'm on the first floor. Just go behind the bushes, and I'll let you in through the window. So I'm just like, okay, well, I'm already here, and I don't want to tell this person no, because I don't have confidence as a little gay person because I'm still a gay bee.

It's okay to say no. You can change your mind. But I proceeded to make my way around the bush and got to his window. Knock, knock, knock. The blinds were down so I could not. This is a murder mystery about to happen. It really is.

But I also love at no point were you like, I shouldn't be doing this. You were just like, let's go. You know, I felt like I had confidence in my ability to escape, if anything. What a treat. If shit goes wrong, I know where the window is. I've jumped in it.

I can jump out of it. So the blinds are down. He opens the window, opens the blinds, but then there's a curtain. So he has to go pull the curtain back. So I still don't see him yet. But he already sent me a picture, so I know what he looks like, right? So I climb my way through this window. And then immediately I'm in this room and it's very dark.

And I'm looking ahead and there's a whole bookshelf in front of the door. Oh no. And then I'm like, oh, what the fuck is going on? So then I turned to him, then I turned back to the bookshelf

and I turned back to him and then I look at him and I look at my phone, I'm like, um, you are not who you sent me. And then he just goes, oh, I didn't send you a face picture. And I just look at him.

I'm like, yes, you did. But the picture you sent me is not you. It's not you, friend. So I said, yeah, no, I'm not doing this. And then I pulled the curtain back, opened the window, popped back, walked my way around the bush, got back in my car, and then drove all the way back home. Very, very disappointed. How truly wild. The bookcase in front of the door, for me, is the scariest part.

Yes, and that's why i immediately paused honestly it should have been the come through the window that ended it for me but it was the bookshelf i honestly think this person was on a journey and i mean i would never i wouldn't do it again and let's be clear any gaby's out there don't take risks like that because in the end it's not worth it i think like he was probably he was 100% DL and he probably lived with people and his door probably did not lock. So he probably put the bookshelf there so nobody could like come in. The hoops we have to jump through as gays is wild. Just be yourself.

Just be yourself. Let people in the front door. And then the back door. Ooh. But yeah, we've been on a journey. Literally before I came out, I thought I was going to be a curmudgeoned old man married to some woman unhappy with my whole life because I was trapped with this person that I didn't actually want to be with. But society said I wanted to. Or I needed to. So, you I needed to.

So, you know, growth. Growth. I think about like a lot of, like comics will tell jokes about like my fucking wife that I hate. I'm like, maybe you should move on and date someone you like.

And that might be a man. It might be a gender that you never thought you wanted to be into um but yeah it's just like i don't know why people do that to themselves marry someone that they're like i don't love you and i am miserable with you yeah i would never want that life yeah and honestly i don't want that life for anyone so please if you're listening to this podcast if you want to come out just come come out. Come out of the closet and into the light. The light is bright

and I'll make you happy. Honestly, I need somebody to, look, I'm full of ideas for you. I need somebody to take clips of you singing and make it into like a club mix. I would love to fucking hear that.

Just a weird club mix of me being like, come out of the closet and into the sun. Wait, Robin, tell me about the time you sold TVs and drag. Was that to like, what was it? What was that about? You wanted to sell a lot of TVs or you had a gig?

Beyond anything else, Robin Fierce is a working ass bitch. And I will make my money when and how I need to. So this was back when I took a long time to paint. So this was back when I took a long time to paint. And the only shifts that were available for me were like midday to closing shifts. So that would cut into my getting ready time. So I had a lovely queer supervisor, Kelly. Shout out to Kelly.

And I asked her one day, like, hey, I have these gigs after. You're a queer. I'm a queer. Can I come to work in drag? Is that a thing that's possible? And she's like, yeah, there's really like nothing that they can really do about it or say, because that would kind of be illegal. So come on down and live your fantasy. So it was really just me having gigs after work that I wanted to get to and make the money. Because I was part-time, so the gigs that I did get in drag, I was making more money than the gigs that I was

working during the day anyway. So no, I'm not going to say no to this gig. And yes, I'm going to come to work in drag. So fuck y'all. So I would come come when I first started, it would be in full drag, wigs, titties, pads, makeup, lashes, all the things. Um, I even came in heels, but they said that was unsafe for the ladder. So I couldn't wear heels. That's the only thing that they said no to. Cause I'm like, if I'm going to be in drag, I'm gonna give you this full fantasy, baby. I'm going to give you the full fantasy of a businesswoman, entrepreneur, working at Best Buy.

So I did take a few clients. Some clients are just like, yeah, no, I'm just not working with that person. They didn't say that, but I could see it on their face. Like, okay, we're going to shop around before we come back to this area. I'll say this. Okay, so I went to Vegas over the weekend. And I went to a racetrack and I got to drive a Lamborghini around a racetrack. And I was the only person having fun.

I was the only person who was like, faster. I was the only person laughing. How could you not have fun at a racetrack? Because I have learned adults don't want fun yeah the only reason why you walk into a best buy and see a drag queen and go i don't want them to help me is because you don't like fun yeah and you're afraid and your life is fucking boring yeah and i feel so sorry for some people where i'm like what what like i'll be at a restaurant and i'll be the loudest table and people will be like looking at us

and I'm like, no, you have fun. Like, have a nice time. Like, that's so wild to me that someone would see you in drag and not be like, you better give me a fucking TV, lady. And imagine the story you could have gone home and told.

You have a party. You're watching the world's best football. I don't know. People watching uh uh the world's best football i don't know people watch the sports world's best football i don't know um and then you know what i was at this best buy and you would never believe who sold me this tv yeah it was this man in a wig like that is a great story and then if your wife just happens to be in a purse, a person that watches drag race or something, and then to find out that the bitch you're watching on TV is the bitch that sold you the TV.

You're watching her on. Imagine that story. That's a classic story that you could tell for years to come. I know. Uh, but then, yeah, the people that did work with me,

they were lovely. Um, there was one man, he was a little bit older, so his eyesight was probably going a little bit. So when he came back the next day, he thought I was a biological woman. And he asked for the woman who helped him the day before. And all my coworkers paused, turned to me and pointed and said, that's the one. And he said, no, no fucking way.

I'm like, hi, it's me. And I bet you he tells that story over and over and over again. I'm sure. That is so fun. Honestly, this is a treat to me because I feel like going to work in drag is joy that you gave to people. Like, I'm sure some people loved it so much and, like, still talk about it. I'm sure. Iconic.

Honestly, I would love to do, and let this be known, if anybody steals this idea, I am suing. No, I'm kidding. Or I'm not. No, sue us. I am suing. No, I'm kidding. Or I'm not. No, sue them. I'm suing. I want to do a drag version of Cardi Tries where I am in drag and I work at these bunch of different places and they're teaching me how to do the things. But I'm in full drag. I feel like that would be so much fun.

I think it's fun. I think maybe a picture to World of Wonder, maybe. We'll see. We'll see. You know, I think you can call somebody up and say, Can I do this? Can I do this, boys? Yeah, give me a budget.

Let's do it. Give me a little budget. Robin, I have a question. We've come to the end. Already? This has been delightful. I know. I try to keep them to the end. Already? This has been delightful. I know. I try to keep them to an hour.

You got a lot to do. But I do have more questions. So wait, how did Mo Hart become your drag mom? Oh, so with Mo, I did one of her digital shows. So that was like our first real interaction. Well, actually, before that, I went to Nubia and I met her in person there. Whose show is Nubia? Is that?

At the time, it was Bob, Bebe, Mohart, Shay, The Vixen. It's not The Vixen. And Peppermint. Is that The Vixen show? No, that's Black Girl Magic. That's Black Girl Magic. But The Vixen was a part of this one. Is that The Vixen show? No, that's Black Girl Magic. No, that's Black Girl Magic. But The Vixen was a part of this one too. This was the first iteration of Nubia.

Went to that. It was literally one of the best drag shows that I had ever been to. Rue Girl, non-Rue Girl. It was put together so well. Bebe comes out at the end, and she's just like, you see all these white people we are paying them they work for us and it was so hilarious and it was so amazing to see uh this

a fully black cast put on this amazing show with dancers lights uh original music all that stuff um it was amazing. But that was the first time that me and Mo actually like really interacted. Then I did one of her digital shows on the internet. And then after the pandemic, we had her here at one of our bars in Connecticut, and I hosted that show. she's like you know I want to adopt you and I was like honestly I would love that just know I do have a drag mom already if you're down to co-parent I'm a hundred percent down to be your drag mom your drag child because I've looked up to her I love her music um and all of that. So then House of Heart we became.

I love that. That's so sweet. I love when someone claims you. They're like, be mine. You're like, oh, okay. Yeah. It's adorable. It was amazing.

And it was nice to like, even like before Drag Race for somebody of her stature to be like, I see you. And you're worthy. And that's like a true compliment and just like a like a testament to your talent that it's like someone saw you and they're like, yes, I believe in you. Yeah. I feel like more people should say that to people be like, I believe in you and I think you're wonderful. Yeah, I and I honestly, I try to do that if I and people think it's so weird when I do it. Sometimes they're just like,'re just like wait what I'm like what did you expect for me to like be this bitch no I'm saying that I love what it is that you do like you're really

sickening like I give credit where it's due yeah I try really hard to um like if I see something that I like I try hard really hard to like make a point to say something to somebody to be like I think you're great just because I don't know like why am I keeping it to myself if I see something that I like, I try hard, really hard to like make a point to say something to somebody to be like, I think you're great. Just because I don't know. Like, why am I keeping it to myself? If I enjoy something like I should fucking let you know. Yeah. Because I like compliments. Yeah.

It's nice. Okay. Robin, we do have to wrap it up and I can talk to you forever. Okay. I asked all my guests this. Sometimes I forget because I'm a dizzy bitch. But would you date me? Absolutely, Nicole.

I think we would have the best of times. This I love. That's the correct answer. Honestly, anybody who says no needs to be, like, jailed. Thank you. Straight to jail. Prison, Hanny. I know you're single, but do you have any advice for the single ones out there looking?

The times that I have been in a relationship, I would say communicate. And also, you never know who, and this is also advice to myself. You never know who's going to be into you. Somebody that you might think is like way out of your league could potentially be somebody that is definitely interested in you. You don't know what people's types are. So be open and have a little bit of faith in yourself. Because let me tell you, baby, there are some people that i was either in a relationship with or fucked who were fucking beautiful and i thought that they would never say yes to me and they did um and here we are here we are robin i love that thank you thank you so

much for doing this of course i attacked you at drag con, it was the best surprise ever. And they were like, we can't tell you who's waiting over there. I'm like, what the fuck is happening? Why are you standing over there with a camera? I was like, don't tell her. What is going on? And in my mind, I'm like, it's either Mariah Carey or Beyonce or Nicole. It's one of those two because those are the only people.

Oh my God. Those are the only people that I would freak out over. What a fucking dream to be put in that category. Oh, I forgot to, at the beginning of this, I was saying how I described you. And it was always, I love Nicole Byer damn near as much as I love Mariah Carey. And I love Mariah Carey.

That makes me so happy and brings me so much joy. You've brought me so much joy. Oh, thank you, Nicole. Every time you tag me in a video where you're lip syncing to me, it makes me so happy. And I truly root for your success because I think you're like, one, really sweet, two, very talented, and three, you fucking paint so well. Thank you, Nicole. Dare I say myself that I am the mugger. No, I'm kidding.

There's aura in the cast, too. But no, thank you, Nicole. And I feel the exact same way. Like, even before knowing you, you brought so much joy. And I've always root for your success. I love seeing you in, like, everything. And I hope you take over the world one day.

Thank you, Robin. To us, in 2020, well, I guess, yeah, this year's like half over. Yeah, 2024. is like half over. Yeah. 2024. There's still time. There's still time. But the end of 2023 is going to ramp us up into 2024, where I say 2024 is going to be our year.

It's going to be filled with dicks and success. Yes. And I'm going to, if I find someone for you, Nicole, I will send them your way. And I really mean that. I know I'm around a lot of gays, but if I'm ever around any straights or lesbians or whoever that likes you, I will try to make the connection. Honestly, I don't identify as anything. I'm happy to meet any old person. I have so i watched fast x and what is that that's

the 10th fast and the furious movie oh no and i think my type is masculine ish muscular men in gauchos with painted nails a gaucho like gauchos a very wide leg pant. A very flowy wide leg pant. Okay, so like a hippie pant. Kind of a hippie pant. Jason Momoa in this movie is so feminine skewing, but also is very masculine at the same time. And I think that's what like really horns me up. Okay.

Like a man who kind of floats in between. Okay. Just look at pictures of Jason Momoa in Fast X and that's what I'm looking for. Oh, baby. I know what Jason Momoa looks like. No, but specifically in Fast X. In these long, loungy

pants. Like, that is it for me. Like, I was dripping wet the whole time. Got it. Okay. I'm securing that in my brain. Secure it. Lock it it. Okay. I'm securing that in my brain. Secure it, lock it in. Okay. Well, this is the end. Robin, thank you so much for being here. If you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, guess what? You can like it, give me five stars, write a review. But most importantly, you can write something directly to me hitting on me saying something very nasty um and you can write it to why won't

you date me podcast at gmail.com uh we're running a little low so we'll send them on over um this lovely person said nicole i would show up to your door and full sonic the hedgehog drag but also butt ass naked what i'd say i don't know i'd say hey egg man want to see my chaos emerald then turn around and grab my ankles to reveal a chaos emerald butt plug and my booty teehee you say what is this I say, I'm a hedgehog. I thought that was obvious. My husband then shows up in full tails drag with, you guessed it, a two-tail butt plug and, oh, wow,

a gold cock ring. This is so detailed. I get on one blue knee and say, Nicole, will you accept this ring before we can paint you red and make you into a knuckle sandwich? The police show up. Uh-oh, gotta go fast.

Honestly, that was very funny. That was. Okay, goodbye. Wait, okay, I know you just said goodbye, but I gotta do the self-promote thing. Oh my God, I always fucking forget this. Robin, what would you like to promote? Okay, y'all. Yes, I'm a drag queen, but also I'm a singer. I do have music out. My first single, Bad Bitchery, has been out. You can listen to it, feel your bad bitch fantasy. But I also just did a cover of I'm Coming Out, and I added my own little verse. It's remixy. My friend described it as,

wait, just so y'all have Yelp reviews. My friend Parker listened to my song and says, it gives me, I just want to dance fucked up in the gay club and smell a hint of poppers in the background energy. It's very fun. I love it. So give it a listen.

I love it. Give it a listen. Give it a little listen. We got a little Yelp review for it. I love it. So give it a listen. Give it a little listen. We got a little Yelp review for it. I love it. But thank you so much, Nicole. Wait, do you have like a website? Tell the people your socials and shit.

I don't have a website because somebody took all of the season 15 girls and made, took our like domain names. They did offer to give it back, but we have to pay a fee for that. How much? Like a hundred something. That's not bad. Someone tried to extort $500. No, I think it was a thousand.

Or no, they wanted $10,000 from me for NicoleBeyer.com. That's crazy. And I was like, you're out of your mind. So that's why my website is NicoleBeyerWasTaken.com. And I was going to do, in the spirit of you, RobinFierceWasTaken.com. But then I'm like, you know, I'm not touring and stuff yet. I don't feel like I need a website. I have the social media.

So you can find me on all social media at TheRobinFierce. You can find my music across all the streaming platforms if you just search Robin Fierce. Yeah. I love it. Robin, thank you so much again. Okay. Now for real. Bye-bye.

Bye. Why Won't You Date Me with Nicole Byer is produced by me, Mars. It's executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. With talent bookings by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Maddie Auden. Got a question, crazy dating story, or a dirty message for Nicole? Write it to whywontyoudatemepodcast at gmail.com for a chance to have it featured on a future episode. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Bye-bye.

This has been a Team Coco production.