Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Nicole's Choice of Porn (w/ Ronnie Adrian)

Episode Date: July 5, 2019

"I'm crazier than you. I'll fuck you up with these dildos"Ronnie Adrian (Comedy Bang Bang, White Women) joins Nicole to discuss their mutual struggle with flirting, and the best way to end a bad date with courtesy. Nicole shares her favorite porn videos to masturbate to, and calls out a woman for peeing on her toilet seat.You can play along and see Nicole's Tinder bio and photos on her Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/NicoleByerComedyBe sure to rate Why Won't You Date Me 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Leave a dirty comment for a chance have it read on-air.Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedy

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! It's another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcast where me and Nicole Byer

tries to figure out how I'm still single even though I'll let you come in my wig and I'll put it on my head and pretend it's wig glue. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How awful! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, I really got myself with that one. Oh, my guest today.

He's very funny. He performs at UCB once a month with his improv group called White Women, which you should go see because they're incredible. He's also been on Comedy Bang Bang, the TV show, and Comedy Bang Bang, the podcast. It's Ronnie Adria! Yeah, I want to wait till that song ends so I can talk. But I need to get the song first. It's a very simple, short song for everybody to enjoy. Yeah, yeah. I liked it. Ronnie, how are you?

I'm great. And yourself? Yeah, yeah. I liked it. Ronnie, how are you? I'm great. And yourself? I'm doing pretty good. I just had my shoe shelf delivered today, which is a real bougie thing, I feel like to say, that I have a whole shelf just for my shoes.

But how big is the shelf? Very big. It's like an armoire that I had someone build shelving into because I have a lot of shoes. I love a shoe that got delivered today. So that's the highlight of today for me. I mean, I like out of my friend group, I don't feel like I'm the one with the most shoes. I know multiple people who have more shoes than me, but I do have the point where like I had those, it's like those two-tiered shoe shelves

that you can then stack other two-tiered shoe shelves on. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I have a bunch of those, and they're pretty much stacked to the ceiling now. Who did? And to the point where I was like, oh, okay, like, my compromise was, all right, if I was going to get more shoes,

then I have to look at that and get rid of some of the shoes on the shelf because I couldn't add any more shelves. And so I've been doing that lately and uh I guess I feel good I never feel good uh when I give away something because I'll give it away and then I'll go in my closet and go where is oh it's gone and then I get sad for a little bit because I love things. I love having things. I got to the problem where just being like, and that's even with clothing stuff too, where like I hold on to stuff or like when I'm trying to throw it away, I'd be like, oh, but I could. I could. Oh, oh.

But what I realized that once I started just to give stuff away or like get rid of stuff, like most of the time I never think about this stuff ever again. stuff like most of the time I never think about this stuff ever again and I was like oh I guess it is like oh there's an attachment there that you have when you see it and you're like all the stuff that you possibly could do but then it's like you know you're not gonna do it you haven't done it since you've had it yes I have so many dildos in the trunk of my car because I did sketch comedy for too long and I'm'm not going to use them for anything. They were like manhandled. Like they're not. I have to like disinfect.

I'm not going to do it. But for some reason I'm like, I can't get rid of all these dildos. So they're just in the trunk of my car. Okay, well, I mean, they could come in handy one day. I don't really know besides really like one or two things that you could do with them but my one hope is so i get into like an accident the guy comes out he's like waving a gun or like a bat or something he's like coming for me i pop over my drunk i grab two of the dildos and i go i'm crazier than you i'm crazier than you i'll fuck you up with these dildos. That's why.

I mean, honestly, I don't see a scenario where that wouldn't work. At my maddest that ever happened to me, I'd be like, you know what, man? You win. Lady, you win. I'm going to leave you alone, ma'am. I don't want to be beaten to death with a dildo. I walked out of my car.

I snapped and walked out of my car and I was like, I'm about to do something to this woman. And I was that mad. I was that crazy and that infuriated. But then you coming out, swinging your dildos as if they were nunchucks, screaming at me that you were crazier than me. Yeah, you win. I'm going to get back in my car. That's what I want.

Maybe that's why I'm keeping them in my car because I'm hoping for that to happen. It could also be like you just get hit, like, and your trunk busts open. There's just a bunch of dildos just flying out. Dildos just go flying out. They like smash people's windshields. Just like, it's raining dildos. It's like, that would be like a thing where like somebody needs some sort of a sign or something. Like they just wait in the thing and then a dildo comes and slaps them on their windshield and it's like, okay, like that's it.

Honestly, if there was like a news story that was like comedian Nicole Byer was in a car accident, dildos burst out of her trunk and savagely like flew into people's cars. Like I don't think anyone would question it. I think they would be like, well, this is great heightening of who she is this seems pretty on brand yeah oh nicole byer oh yeah okay i can see that immediately i can see that ronnie let me ask you a question are you single right now uh right now yes i am ah do you plan on not being single? What a way to ask that. I mean, I guess that's been a plan for a while, but it just ain't really happened. How long have you been single? Truly, maybe about for like the last two years or so.

Okay, all right. What are you looking for in a lady? I wish I could answer that like i wish i could say like oh you know like oh man i love a girl with long legs and dark hair and you know whatever but it truly is like i feel like what i find myself kind of like uh continuously getting myself like i date a lot of like nice women and there's nothing to say that it's wrong anything but it's like i did a lot of women where i'm like oh man this person is like really nice like. Mm-hmm. And there's nothing to say that it's wrong or anything, but it's like I date a lot of women where I'm like, oh, man, this person is, like, really nice, like, really cool, like, really nice,

really considerate and all this type of stuff. And I'm not saying, like, that's a bad thing, but, you know, like, a specific type, right? It's not like, oh, yeah, like, a specific type. I'm like, oh, is this something that, I guess this might be something that I'm attracted to, like, I just gravitate towards. I guess I just gravitate towards people who are nice

to me. I mean, seems very healthy and a well adjusted way to be. I mean, I guess, but if they keep not working out, maybe I need somebody to yell at me or something. I don't know. Maybe I want somebody to yell at me, Nicole, and just tell me, not necessarily

tell me how bad I am, but just, like, I don't know, like, vent their frustrations out. You know, like, I don't know, like, speak up. Like, I don't know. I feel like I'm very, like, I feel like maybe I get sometimes overly communicative where I'm just like, we need to talk. Like, what's going on? Like, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So I don't know.

Maybe I need somebody to be in, like, that, like, I on? Like, blah, blah, blah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I don't know. Maybe I need somebody to be in like that. Like, I'm not always like bringing that up. So you want a woman who's not as nice and withholding. Mm-hmm. Ah! Ooh. I mean, when you say it like that, that's probably not a good one. I don't know.

They're out there. It'd be pretty easy for you to find. Well, I ain't met them, Nicole. I have not met them. Oh, boy. I think you're lying to me. I'm so sorry. I think you're lying. I think'm so sorry I think you're lying

I think the world is just Filled with nice women And that's it Are you on the apps? No I used to be on Tinder And when I say used to be Like I was on Tinder

I went back on Tinder Maybe two or three different times But only because like I would get on Tinder And at first like I tried to be like Like real like Oh okay like I'm going through the profiles, like, oh, reading the things, going through the pictures, like, yeah, like, this seems like a solid choice for me in this swipe or whatever. And then realizing, like, this ain't working.

And then you just start really, like, having this, like, and it just, I never matched anybody, really. Like, I might have got, like, maybe two, like, maybe I got, like, three matches, and only really one of them of them two of them talked to me and one of them talked to me for like in the last one I went home from South Carolina I went to South Carolina and I matched with somebody but it turns out that like my Tinder was still in California so I met somebody that was back the other way and then by the time I was getting ready to come home, she just stopped talking to me. Ah. So, yeah, that's my adventures on Tinder. It's very nice and wholesome to hear that you read profiles before swiping on people.

Because I feel like a lot of men specifically, and some women, are just swiping yes on people to get their numbers up, to be like, I got a match with somebody. Well, yeah, I think that's what I realized. Or that's what people would say is being like, yeah, you got to swipe through. Because, you know, because like what you're doing is you're cutting your matches in half if you're like really actually trying to be genuine about it. And I was like, OK, but it didn't matter anyway.

Nobody was trying to talk to you, boy. Yeah, then I sounded sadder than I wanted to be. It did sound sad and I didn't matter anyway. Nobody was trying to talk to you, boy. Yeah, damn, that sounded sadder than I wanted it to be. It did sound sad, and I didn't have anything to say. Yeah, I wanted you to pick me up, and I looked over there, and I was like, man, her mouth is shut. I don't know. I think it's hard, especially as a black person in L.A. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

I should have let everybody know. I am black. Hello, everyone. Yeah Ronnie when you're on a podcast you need to announce your ethnicity. Thank you very much. I apologize. Honestly it's actually on me when I introduced you I should have said you've seen him on Connie

Bang Bang or in the streets being a black man. Yes I thought you were going to and when you said it I was like oh I guess this podcast is just different. Yeah I guess nobody cares about race on this podcast. Yeah, I just think being an other in L.A. is really hard. And it's a thing that I haven't quite figured out how to navigate. Especially as, like, a black woman.

We're at the bottom. When you say navigate, what do you mean? Like, are you saying? I think sometimes when people are swiping they like will just without even looking at the actual pictures or the profile will just swipe no i'm black people oh because they're just like i don't want a black yet black you black too dark black oh my gosh i hope that's not what they're saying i hope it's just internalized i hope they're not actually like boy like vocalizing that

out loud to themselves. Ew, black. Slype. Hopefully just like, I don't know, that's not even my thing. They don't really know what it is,

but they know what it is. It's just that they won't say it to themselves. That feels more safe to me, I guess. I mean, but some people are racist and then some people

are loud racists where they say it out loud as they do it. Here's a question. Uh-huh. On a first date, what is a thing that a woman can do that you're like, ah, I like that? And what's something that happens that you're like, oh, I hate this? I don't think I like somebody who's too negative.

Okay. You know, or too down on themselves like uh especially if it's somebody who i know is good at something you know like it i don't want to say like it bugs me or whatever but it makes me want to like stand up for them like to them but i don't but sometimes people don't like that they don't like you championing them not your place yeah you know but i mean it's not even it's like that thing just being like because it's one thing to be like it's like no you're really like no i've seen your stuff is really good or whatever like no don't worry about it like no what you're talking about it's crazy

like you're really out here like it's blah blah but you know it's a balance because i don't want to not say anything i don't want to just be like, hey man, keep, you know, keep shitting on yourself. You're a piece of shit. Yeah. But at the same time,

it is like, it's like, I want to say something and then just be like, but you know, and that's it. Let's move on at least or whatever. Because I don't know. It just,

I don't know. It, I guess that's something that really kind of bugs me, but I guess I'm, I'm more in a positive space for myself right now. So it's like, I want everybody to feel this positive energy. But a thing that people could do that I like, like let's say like this.

I'm not somebody who says like, oh, man, I need to date a woman. And if I date a woman, she has to be funny. You know, I know people who are like, man, no, she has to be funny. And I don't think that's true of myself. She has to be interesting. Like I have to find something interesting about the person. But like I think somebody with specific senses of humor right like that could get me uh somebody who is like not presumptuous in a sense okay or or even just like somebody who like will

uh say you know what i got this it's like, you know, or just something that's just being like, hey, it's not, this doesn't have to be all on you. Okay. Like, and not even saying, like, the date part or whatever, but just being like, when we're talking about, like,

a conversation, or even when we're talking about, like, where we want to go, just somebody who's willing to give some sort of input. Like, what I realized, like, I'm not necessarily the best dater. Okay.

But what I did realize, realize like when I was starting to actively like you know what I want to date more like I want to you know like you know like when you date it's the notion of just being like I want to like you know like go out with a person and then you know do this thing and then that could be it like I'm somebody who's it's very hard for me to kind of go like well I'm gonna spend my time with you but this is possible that it could be it like that was a concept to me that I had to learn. Wait, what do you mean that this could be it? Like, the notion that it's being like, to me, I'm like, oh, like, I see somebody, I like them, or like, oh, there's this, like, you know, being in this community, there's

not too many people where, like, I've been set up on a blind date, like, I didn't know anything about them, right? So, usually, most of the time, it's being like, oh, yeah, I've seen this person, we've been around or something, like, the vibe has been really cool or whatever. So, date, like I didn't know anything about them. Right. So usually most of the time it's being like, oh, yeah, I've seen this person. We've been around or something. Like the vibe has been really cool or whatever. So then like if you're going to go out on a date with them, to me, it's like this is the start of something. Like it was very hard for me to kind of go like this could be the one time that you hang out with this person.

Yes. And you're like, oh, in this aspect. And so to me, it was like, like oh like and I think that's kind of something that really held me back because it was like man once I start that's it I'm on the track but I didn't realize that no sometimes you're just I mean I realized but I guess it's just something that just I couldn't grasp that which is being like oh yeah to get back to your question agree with you though do you yes because whenever I go out with somebody and we like click I get really excited to see them again.

And then I always forget. I'm like, oh, it couldn't have, maybe it didn't click for them. This might be a finite thing where I only get to see them this one time. And then we just live our lives and never speak again. And I think the hardest thing about when you stop dating someone, especially if you were not the one who ended it, if the other person ended it, I think one of the hardest things for me is I'm thinking about you,

and I miss you, and I miss hanging out with you, and you're not even thinking about me. You've already fucking moved on. You don't give two shits about me. You're going to grow old with this new bitch you found. Y'all are going to get married and have babies, and I'm going gonna be like well like what if that were me like i think that's the hardest thing about breaking up with somebody

they don't care about you anymore well it's it's it's one of those things that's like i remember like the hardest thing for me would be like people who i really thought like oh this is a vibe and there's something happening like oh man like we're like I feel like we're on the same wavelength. Like, oh, like, oh man, they just said this thing that was like really in the pocket for me of like what I would like to, what I laugh and all this type of stuff.

And then like, those are always the ones that just don't materialize. Like they all, it just never, no matter how we go on the thing, like it's like, I'm being real cool, easy going.

It just never materialized. But all the ones where it's like, oh, this is cool cool easy going to just never materialize but all the ones where it's like oh this is cool like this is fine whatever blah blah like it always is something that's like the next thing i know i'm like man i've been kind of hanging out with this person for longer than i expected to be you know like in that context because like because i started off on this just like so lukewarm or just like so like oh it's average or whatever and i was like why is that so then like i would even go into the things of like what people are really like being like you know what just easy chill it out like it's a color but it's almost like it's it could it could be sensed hard to to go in it lackadaisical when you're excited about it i feel like a lot of my dates

i go in pretty like whatever because they're tinder dates or hinge dates and they're all people i don't know so i truly have no expectations i'm just hoping you don't try to murder me but also in the back of my brain i'm like i dare you i dare you to try to murder me i'm pretty crafty pretty i'm faster than i look and i'm loud I don't think you can do it I dare you and you keep dildos in your trunk I keep dildos in my trunk I also have tanga eggs in my trunk

which are eggs I had a guest on who gave them to me I don't know why I have them I don't think I could use them but men jerk off into this disposable egg that then they just throw away and I was like what men need more things to jerk off into this disposable egg that then they just throw away and i was like uh what men need more things to jerk off into i don't know use a sock but also why are men jerking off into

socks i don't even i wouldn't jerk off into honestly like when arts when i first saw what like a fleshlight was i thought about getting one for the longest time. Get one! Why not? I don't know. How do you wash it? I think it's in a tube and you take the silicone thing out of the tube and you just run water through it. Oh, okay. Okay. I was like, you got what?

Put it in the dishwasher? I think they advertised the fact that the material can be dishwashed. It's so crazy because it's like, oh, okay, but for the longest time I thought about being like, maybe I should get one. And then I had to realize being like, does this mean something more about you about how often you masturbate? No, I think a fleshlight is fine. Do not shame yourself. I think you should get one because I have a bunch of like vibrators and dildos

and that's how I like to masturbate. But I wonder if they have a flashlight that gets hot like a pussy. You took a drink of your tea. You kind of like sunk into your seat. Oh man, I wish podcasts were a visual medium the way you responded

was so funny and so subtle because like it was almost as if you were either upset or very happy

I mean well I mean because I wondered like I should look at the instructions again not the instructions online

I don't have one I don't have one I don't have one I don't have one yeah okay so when you go home look up the instructions that you kept they're right in the night can you can you microwave these please stop please stop i i honestly i was like i've been really on this kick where it was like you know what? For myself, it was like, you know what? I'm going to try. I'm going to not. I'm going to try to not masturbate. Why? I don't I don't know. I think it was because like, you know, people who I people who I knew who were like, hey, man, like I stopped and like I only, you know like, having sex with my wife or my girlfriend or whatever, like, this other thing.

And then, like, they said that it helped them, like, they felt like their stamina went up and all this other type of stuff. And so for me, I was like, oh, I was, I was, but it's more so the notion of being like, I was just trying to see what the effects are of, you know, like, what that is. Because I feel like for myself, truly the only time that I masturbate is like when I'm bored it's never like when I'm just like so horny or like whatever you know what I mean like it's always like when I don't have oh shit it's always like when I don't have shit to do and I like got time to think about like shit like that but like when I'm like working on something or whatever

like I could care less about what my dick is doing yeah Really? Yeah. I just don't care. I have to cum almost every day. I just feel like I need it. I masturbate not when I'm bored, but before bed. And I think it's just become like a ritual thing. I have my favorite videos from Pornhub.com bookmarked on my phone. And every time I look at my bookmarks, I'm like, oh boy. Oh boy. But it was hard

to find the videos that I liked. I like this one man. I'll tell you his name. He's like a rough and tough and fucker. Let me ask, what is like the qualities you

look for in a Nicole Byer like saved video in a Nicole Byer saved video hold on where is it oh athletic babe gets fucked okay hold on okay so his name is Owen Gray and I and okay so if you're looking for some uh black and white fucking and uh oh he's got a million views he's doing well so the title of the video is athletic babe gets fucked hard by white dick oh and there's a good one after that i haven't seen oh let me bookmark this one oh wait hold on I gotta bookmark it okay wait how do I bookmark it wait oh shit done

wait I'll just leave it up okay I'll watch it later yeah please yeah don't I truly couldn't figure out how to bookmark it but it's him fucking a darker black woman which makes me happy. Wait, what are you asking me?

I was just wondering, like, what's the what do you look for? Like, I know some people would be like, oh, like, I don't know, it has to start off where, like, they're having breakfast or something and it gets really soft. Like, what's your shit? I really hate a storyline. I don't need him to, like, knock on the door and her

go, oh my god, I had no idea you coming. I don't need him to knock on the door and her go, oh my God, I had no idea you were coming. I don't need any of that. Most porn actors are terrible actors. I don't believe it. I just fast forward, and then when I fast forward, they're like fucking, and then I get confused and I go,

well, when did it start? And then I have to go back. It is a whole thing. So I tend to have sex with a lot of white dudes. So I'll look for videos of a big black woman with a white dude or a big black woman with like a smaller black dude, a smaller Hispanic dude, just like a slightly smaller man. I just like to see someone who looks like me fucking. I found this great video last night of this woman getting railed at a Walmart. At a Walmart?

In a Walmart bathroom. And it truly is a Walmart bathroom. And at one point, you hear the door close and then they get quiet. And then I couldn't master it because I was laughing too hard. I was like, this is not sexy in the slightest. This is very funny.

Also, she hadn't combed her hair. Honestly, it was very funny. I mean, yeah, I don't think people who are fucking in a Walmart bathroom is truly that worried about their physical presentation. You're correct. And then I found a ton of videos with her and her boyfriend. Oh, they do this a her boyfriend who's like a muscular black guy

who seems like he's got it together and she I think just gets fucked too much and like can't do anything else like her hair is never combed in these videos she wakes up but she's just like so tired from being fucked too much and then she's like what if

and he's like we fuck and she's just like so tired from being fucked too much. And then she's like, what if? And he's like, we fuck. And she's like, but I want to comb my hair. We don't have no time. We don't have time. We don't have time. We got to get to the next bathroom. Shut up the phone at a bad angle. It's also the worst angles.

I watched like seven of the videos last night and then had to wait a while to masturbate so that would leave my mind, because it was so funny. Sometimes porn is very funny to me. Oh, porn is, I seen a porn one time where I had to actually put on Instagram where like, there was a guy in the video

that looked so much like me. I was like, wait a minute. Is this me? Yeah, who is this? Like, and I was like, because you know,

it was just bad enough to where I was like, because you know, it was just bad enough like to where I was like, I had, I was like really having to look at like, who is this? Like, who is this dude?

And like, he was getting like slobbed down from this girl. I was like, oh my God. Oh, and then like, and it was very funny,

I took pictures, I was like, yo, I was sending to people like, yo, is this me? Like, I,

at some point I realized it wasn't me, but it was like the crazy thing that's being like oh wow like i think i used to really be into like well i won't say really be into but when i was like starting getting into porn or whatever like i used to really did like the ones where like these kind of big production porn like all this type of stuff but i feel like right like now when i do watch like I think I watch more amateur stuff than anything I like to watch couples be intimate yeah I think it's

because I'm missing intimacy in my life honestly Nicole I would say the same thing about myself I was like does this make me feel like I'm a part of like that it's me being a part of something like a nice loving relationship or like they're having a great time and so are you oh Ronnie we have to take a break oh okay oh we're back it was a very short break we're back ronnie um let's see what else do i want to know about you i don't know i'm an open. So you're not on the apps. Mm-mm. How, so you meet people in person.

Mm-hmm. Do you only date other comedians or comics, improvisers? what's truly funny is no. Okay. But I say that because

there was a certain point where I was like, I'm not dating anymore people within the community that I'm in. Which then just meant, oh, I guess I'm not dating any more people with him in the community that I'm in, which then just meant, oh, I guess I'm not dating anyone. So, and, you know, like, my last relationship,

it was kind of like an on-again, off-again thing. So, you know, for the longest time, that was just, like, a continuing thing. I was like, oh, okay. And then when that really was just like oh i guess this really just you know like we're just friends like then it's like oh okay like yeah nothing and then every now and then i i kind of break my rule and then like you know what well let me see what's going on or whatever and then maybe like i'll like you know like you know like you know just try to like talk to someone or like hey like maybe that's another

thing but I just it's interesting because like if I didn't if I hadn't always like had to kind of like pump myself up like like hey man like I know nobody else says it but you're all right you know what I mean like i would feel like i would be so down because i feel like nobody is i don't say nobody but i don't i feel like a lot of times like no one is really like fucking with me in that way and i'm just like okay like maybe it's just like i guess it just ain't it but it is like that notion where you have to kind of tell yourself being like hey you know what it's not you it's just like you know they're in their own place or maybe they like they don't have to like you like it's fine like they maybe they got what? It's not you. It's just like, you know, they're in their own place. Or maybe they don't have to like you.

Like, it's fine. Like, maybe they got. Like, but it's not you. Like, no one's you. Do you go to therapy? I don't. You seem very well adjusted. I had to be.

I had to be. I've been really working on myself for a while. Especially starting this year. And so, like, I think I can be a little bit introspective on myself but i would like i don't want to say i would like to i've thought about it just because like i wonder what would come up like if i wanted to therapy yeah i wonder what would come up because i feel like it's like man i grew up from nothing i feel like it was very unadventurous in a sense but i'm pretty sure there's a lot of shit being like oh damn i know that fucked me up oh that one too damn that too i've been in therapy, I think, for two years now,

and there has been things that I have never thought affected me as an adult that happened in my youth would affect me, and then talking through it, I'm like, Oh. My. God. I can't believe this is a thing that's affected me. Like, I didn't think I had daddy issues.

I am crawling with daddy issues. I'll tell you, my dad liked my sister more. And my dad's whole side of the family likes my sister more currently. And that affected me when I speak to men because I vie for them to accept me and like me. I just want to be liked better than somebody else. And I bring that with me when I like speak or talk to men. And if a man is nice to me, I'm like, he loves me. He loves me because my daddy was nice to my sister and he loved her.

So that's a fun thing I bring into relationships. And I have to take a step back and say, OK. He's nice to you. Uh-huh. You don't need his approval. Mm-hmm. If he's nice to you, that's a nice thing.

But if he doesn't like you, you gotta move on. Uh-huh. Just because he was nice to you doesn't mean he likes you. No. It's been fun. I think I find myself, like,

when I, if I'm trying to, like, date outside of the community, which is always tough because I feel like starting from scratch it's like date outside of the community which is always tough because I feel like starting from scratch it's like people just being like impress me and you know like and it's interesting because it is like I don't feel like I do well with people who don't who haven't

like seen me perform or seen something that I've done right but at the same time when I'm like I'm actively I don't say actively but I'm trying to go out and meet people outside of that. But then I don't like to bring it up like what the things that I do. Right. Because sometimes you meet people who are also in the same industry as you. And I don't want that to kind of like play a part of like how they're looking at me at first. Like I don't mind to bring it up, but I want to be like, hey, we're meeting on this terms right now. And then after the fact, it could be more or whatever that thing is but then sometimes it's like people who aren't in the thing and it's just like I don't want them to like have some sort of like whatever opinion

yeah exactly like oh you do improv so I guess like we're gonna get wacky oh you do improv oh you act oh you do this or whatever and it is like oh yeah i want to come in there being like hi you know like we're two people to try to get to know each other like you know and then you know it's like oh yeah i do that thing or whatever but it's so hard because it feels like you're deliberately trying to hold something back or whatever but then also it just feels like i don't know i think i come off so boring sometimes i'm'm just like, I'm not, I'm fun. I'm fun. I'm fun. It's just like, ugh.

I know I don't come off as boring because I'm truly the loudest person and I'm usually wearing leopard print or something wild. But I don't really like to tell people what I do up front because then there's just like a lot of weird questions. Like I went on a date forever ago and I didn't really like him. So I was just like, yeah, I'm a standup.

And he was like, yeah, but what's your day job? And I was like, I don't have one. He was like, yeah, but like,

what do you do for money? I was like, stand up. And he like, couldn't wrap his brain around that. So that happened too many times where I was like, I'm not going to tell them if they know, they know. But like by date two or three, I'm not going to tell them. If they know, they know.

But by date two or three, I'll tell you. Because that means we've made it over the first date hurdle. Are you not supposed to ask people what they do on their first date? You can. Huh? You can. Do they not ask you? Sometimes they don't.

Sometimes men talk so much about themselves that if I don't volunteer information, he'll leave the date being like that went well I really bared my soul and uh she was there she was there but I don't she uh had a name and it's really

I'm at a loss for it right now but like I did well and she knows about me yeah like they won't ask me a thing about myself. I really bared my soul. Yeah, sometimes Ben will tell me all these things and I'm like, oh, I don't need to know this. Look, I don't I didn't realize how like I don't know. I don't consider myself like I think I'm a I think I'm an oak. I think I'm a pretty i think i'm an okay

guy right like um not bad i wouldn't say great i'm pretty sure there are better people after there are better relationship guys not great you know but like i feel like i'm solid okay but like it's always funny i never realized like how many unchilled dudes there are out there until like when I'm in a relationship and I feel like I'm doing the the base like as far as like

niceness or whatever and people be like you're like the nicest person I've ever dated and I'm just like what? like I'm just like

wow that sucks like cause I don't feel like I don't feel like I'm not doing anything like truly above just like human respect right?

I'm just like man how shitty are people out there to where it's like this is a like this respect right i'm just like man how shitty are people out there to where it's like this is a like this is a high bar for some people and that's shitty like uh anytime i go on a date with a dude i like triple confirm that we are actually meeting because sometimes you'll show up at a location looking real pretty and you'll sit there alone and he won't come oh and you'll get so sad and say he didn't even meet me and he hate me oh no uh yeah i've been stood up i think only one time and then he unmatched me

like when i was like going to text and be like are you coming he unmatched me and i was like okay well this is a this is a fun time for me that's a crazy thing like i because even if i'm like you know what i don't feel it like i'll at least give you the courtesy of like making up an excuse yeah lie to me say your grandma got hit by a bus and you can't come i'll be like oh man that's sad i mean you can come up with a better life but honestly you should use that i mean I'll be like, oh man, that's sad. I mean, you can come up with a better lie, but honestly, you should use that one. I mean, bust, because that way at least you know of being like, hey, you know what this is, but I'm giving you the courtesy of at least letting you know

that I'm not going to be there. And the worst is when someone's like, I'm busy, but then you find them on social media and they don't seem to be busy, and you're like, why would you tell me you're busy if you're actually not busy because I've told people I'm busy but like if you look at my social like I'm doing things I'm out

I'm fucking touring every weekend that's exhausting that's good I mean like to me it's always funny and this is when I get it this is when I get it in my when i get in my head the most like i try to be like you know what like everyone has their own process you have your own process

sometimes especially depending on what the questions are but it's always funny how like if you could be like texting somebody or like messaging somebody like hey back and forth and it's kind of like this pretty like pretty consistent breezy conversation and then you maybe go like hey you know what maybe we should like go grab something or do this blah blah and then like it's just like all of a sudden they're off they're off the thing it's like the garage door closed and you can't get in the house and you're like but uh we were having like a lot of fun if you just like let me back in we were having fun please what happened and then like and then sometimes you know like most of the time it is like oh yeah like sure or like hey i don't know whatever the thing may be like but it's always funny time it is like, oh, yeah, sure. Or like, hey, I don't know. Whatever the thing may be like.

But it's always funny that it's like, because it takes so long for them to give you a response. And it's like, we were just chopping it up for a minute. I think it's because they're like, oh, this changes everything. Because now I have to figure out if I actually want to be with this person for the rest of my life. And I think people take a leap before they're like, let's just hang out. I asked out a friend a couple months ago, a mutual friend of ours, actually. He had been nice to me the last time I saw him. And I was like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to ask him out because he was so nice.

And he was like, nah. It was like a hard nah i was like upset for half a second but then i was like oh he never put out any indicators that he was interested in me romantically one two you just like took a leap at midnight 30 to ask him on a date. What a bad time to ask anybody out on a date. And then three, I was like, how nice that he just said no. And then we like,

uh, texted some like jokes after that. Cause I think he was like, it was like, nah. And then he was like, huh? This funny thing.

And I was like, ah, what a blessing. Thank you. That didn't make me feel a little bit And I was like, oh, what a blessing. Thank you. That didn't make me feel a little bit better. So like, it was just like. Yeah, the biggest thing to me

is like, I'm always just being like, if me and a person, especially like somebody who like, I'm probably going to see around or just like, even if it's like,

I just don't want it to be weird because I don't want it to, I don't want you to think like, I'm walking around harboring some ill will or something. And I feel like that's what people think sometimes. So I feel like when sometimes, like, if somebody has let me down easy, let's say, or, like, it just hasn't worked out or whatever the case may be. Like, I feel like I always go out of my way to be like, but it's chill. I'm chill over here. Like, just so you know. I'm okay.

We're okay. If I see you, I'm going to be like, hey, how's it going? But I don't want you to kind of be harboring any type of like, what is he thinking or whatever. And I don't want that energy for myself. Because I'm like, look, that's what it was. We're moving on. But that's the hardest part for me. Like when, like, if something happens and all of a sudden it feels like that person gets weird.

Like, or the way we used to chop it up, we don't chop it up no more in that way. And it's clearly because it's being like, what happened? Especially if I haven't even had sex with you. I'm like, you can't do that. Yeah, you can't be weird. You haven't seen my body. Yeah, that is a weird thing about fucking another comic or an improviser because you will see them again.

It is a small world and some people are weirder than other people. And then also, some people are just weird as a baseline and then you add fucking them and it's just like, oh well, this is not fun to navigate. There was this one time in New York I walked into a party and I was like, I've had sex

with six people in a row that I've said hello to. I was like, maybe I sex with six people in a row that I've said hello to I was like maybe I stop maybe I stop fucking uh improv people it's crazy how like for you know like for me I had to be like you know what like

like the signs of there just being like this might not be the best choice to do is there but you know you feel like but we're both on the same page I'm being very open and honest it seems like we're kind of work it seems like we're being we're seems like we both know what the scenario is right now in this moment and you know you do the things but then after the fact you know like when it doesn't necessarily like in in the way that you you know assume that maybe it should have been given the communication that you two had and you're just like you know what that's not even really on them because i saw it beforehand and i knew what it was and i was like you know what i

want to do this so let's go and then the thing it blows up in your face and being like you knew that was gonna happen like you can't be that mad gonna end poorly uh i learned recently a i don't know how to flirt and when a man is uh when a man makes it very clear that he wants to fuck me, I get shy. Like, I'll be like, oh, me? Oh, this lady here? Where like, if a man gives me no indicators he wants to fuck, I'm like, yo, let me put your dick in my mouth.

And I don't know why I'm like this. Whoa. I went on a date with this dude who then like touched my hand towards the end of the date. And I was like, why I'm like this. Whoa. I went on a date with this dude who then like touched my hand towards the end of the date and I was like, why is he touching me? And then he like made eyes at me

and I was like, why is he looking at me like that? And then he like, he was like, can I kiss you? And I was like, but why does he want to do that? And then he like kissed me

and then I was like, are you taking me to your house? And he was like, I'd like to. And I was like, um, okay. Are we going to take an Uber?

Like, it was. It is only so funny because it does not feel like, it feels like, what? The cold? Yes. What? And I talked about it in therapy. And I was like, I don't know what. We still haven't figured out why I'm like this.

But I think it's because I've spent so much time being the aggressor. And when I'm the aggressressee I don't know how to handle that yeah it's very strange I also yeah I don't know what flirting is oh I'm terrible I don't I like

I'm terrible at reading like it has to be like I have to be 1000% sure like I'm like what's happening like this other thing I have to get 1000 sure like i'm like what's happening like this other thing i have to get some confirmation being like yo that like that girl's flirting with you it's like no she not and you're like what you call it because like there has been times where like i'm like oh okay i think i this is it like i done waited way too long i done waited to make all the signs so this is definitely i know what this is and then like it's been like what it's like oh no oh no

but there's other times being like, but then like that I've missed and that I've just been sat here and periodically being like, how's my chance? And I blew it. Every now and then it just comes up, even though you ain't thought about that thing. And however long it's been,

it's being like every now and then you're just like, what would that have been like? It's hard to know if the hello is like, hello. Or like a hi. Hello. It's confusing. I was talking to my friend about it and i i was like let's practice flirting she said okay and she was like hey uh i like your hair and i went it's a wig and she went no say thank you say thank you they like throw something

else back at them i was like that's flirting she was like yeah men aren't interested in your hair he's trying to find something on you to compliment you and I was like oh okay

yeah honestly it could be just like there are just some guys that are just being like they just assume everything is like oh that's a flirt

like from a woman being like oh yeah that's a flirt that's how they move through life and I'm not exactly like that I wish there was some part of that me of that thing just you know is like, oh, that's a flirt. Like, from a woman being like, oh yeah, that's a flirt. That's how they move through life. And I'm not exactly like that. I wish there was some part of that,

me of that thing, just, you know, confidence wise. But like, I'm somebody that's like, I just need you to just give me a, like,

I need you to just give me a, I don't, it can be direct. Being direct doesn't ruin the mood for me. It doesn't make me feel like less of a man. I'm just like,

just let me know what's going on, right? I try. I was in Austin and I went to this restaurant, and there was this really cute guy working, and he said something to me, and I went, you're very handsome, very kind eyes. And he went, oh, okay.

And I was like, oh, all right. He didn't like that. But I was trying to be like, oh, fuck you. I'm just in these streets, very horny, looking for some dick. I will tell you, I had the, these streets, very horny, looking for some dick. I will tell you, I probably like the one sign, and you're probably going to sit there and be like, dude, what the hell is wrong with you?

I remember I used to work with this girl, and one time she came back to my place. And I was like, oh, okay. So we were just like, you know, she was like looking at my space, you know, kind of thing. It's like, oh, okay, like, and, you know, so we were just, like, in the, you know, she was, like, looking at my space, you know, kind of things, like, oh, yeah, cool, whatever. And, you know, obviously, I was like, yeah, she likes me or whatever. So, you know, like, at some point, we were, like, you know, we're just, like, walking around in the space or whatever. Like, and she literally, she was like, oh, so this is your room?

Like, I was like, yeah, you know, blah, blah, blah. So she sat down on my bed. And, like, literally, there was, like, I had, like, a table, like, a she sat down on my bed and like, literally, there was like, I had like a table, like a little side table on my bed and I think it had condoms on it or something, like in a bowl.

I don't know what the hell, but they were there. I like condoms in a bowl. I'm like, all I know is, at one point, she was sitting on my bed being like,

oh, you know, and she had the condoms in her hand, like messing with the condoms and stuff. I was like, oh yeah,

cool. And I'm just sitting there like, oh, okay, like, da, da, da, not knowing,

like, I'm not reading anything. And so then, at some point, cool. And I'm just sitting there like, oh, okay, like, da-da-da. Not knowing, like, I'm not reading anything. And so then, at some point, we get up and go back into the living room area. And then, so, like, we make out. We're, like, making out pretty hard and stuff, whatever. And then, like, she's like, you know, I should go home. I should go home. And I was like,

I mean, if that's what you want, because I'm not trying to hold nobody hostage. But then she was like, I mean, but should I stay? And I was like, yeah, you can stay if you want. I should go home, right? And I was like, but I think she wanted me to be like, no, you should stay. Like, I think she wanted me to be like, and I was just being so like, I don't even know what to like, just, I don't know, gentlemanly

or just like a regular bitch. I'm being like, you can choose whatever you want. Like, I would love for you to stay, but if you want to go, you can go. I mean. But after the fact, I knew it was like, I if you want to go, you can go. I mean. But after the fact, I knew it was like, I know she wanted to fuck. And I,

all the signs are there. And I think she wanted me just a little bit, a tad bit more aggressive and I just wouldn't do it. I don't know if that really falls on you. I think,

I mean, playing with the condoms is pretty like, very much like, I would like to fuck you. Then you going, oh, yep, those are mine. It was a definite, usual sex sex like after the fact i'm thinking about i'm like all the signs

being like there was the sign there we go that was that was i've never seen the usual suspects but that's where kevin spacey is the killer uh he's kodo sunset um kaiser sunset what's his name Kaiser Sose what did I say Kodak Sose very close very close yeah very close something to be so close but also very off

I couldn't remember because I just watched the trailer on a plane where they were like he Kaiser Sose Sose Kaiser Sose

Kaiser Sose so scary and everyone kept saying his name and I was like what is this movie this movie? This movie's crazy.

I don't think I'm going to watch it. It's too wild. But in your defense. Yes, please. Defend me. I need it. You don't want to kidnap nobody, you know, and be like, you are staying. And then she's like, okay.

Like, no. I think at that point she could have been like, I would like to stay. Is that okay? And then you can say, yes, please. I think it go i mean if you want should i stay again if you want i mean consent is a thing and it's like i consent for you to stay or i consent for you to go it's either or i don't know i mean i would love for you to stay and you's either or. I don't know. I mean, I would love for you to stay and you're very welcome to stay. And then she didn't.

But then afterwards, it was just like talking. And nothing came to fruition after that. That was a period in my life where I would be cool. Like, you know what? We don't have to have sex right now because I'm going to get this chance again.

So it doesn't even matter if we're going to Charlotte. And then they all, every one of them fizzled out. And I don't really hold no regrets, but I regret missing a chance on all of them. Every single one of them. Every single one of them.

I mean, it's hard. I don't get it. I don't get how people go from relationship to relationship. That's very confusing to me. I'm like, so you found somebody and then you didn't like them and then you stopped dating them and then you immediately found someone else that liked you? Yeah. How?

I can't, like, it's even right now, like, I feel like it's been a period where, like, I'm finding out, like, a bunch of different people that I knew that were in relationships like, broke up. And I'm like, and in my head I'm like, but y'all was together for a while and y'all seemed like they're right for each other like what happened and like and this happened for

a couple different people I'm just like what what what's going on like yeah it's really throwing me for a little bit of a loop here because at first you're looking at the people being like yeah that's like yeah like that's something like oh man they got it that's it and then when it happens it's like wait what and I think the craziest thing, oh, man, they got it. That's it. And then when it happens, it's like, wait, what? And I think the craziest thing for me is like, say you're with someone for 10 years and then you break up and it's not the best breakup. You're never going to see that person again that you spoke to and maybe lived with for 10 years. Isn't that crazy? That is very crazy.

It's so wild to me to think about. Also, another wild thing for me to think about is like having someone move in with me. That thought is crazy. Like, where are you going to put all your stuff? I got a lot of stuff. Okay, where are you going to put it? One. Two, you're going to be in my bed every day? Or like we have to buy a bed together?

Boy, seems too much. I don't. I think, like, to me, it's interesting because it's like, I wouldn't mind. I mean, I guess, like, if me and a person were, like, in that place, I wouldn't mind necessarily being like, oh, yeah, this person, like, they're over my place all the time. But I don't think I would be ready just yet to be like, but you got your own. You still have your own place. Like, you know, like, the notion of being like, oh, you live here is something that I think scares me. It's something that, like, my old girlfriend, we talked about with me, and, like, where here's the period where, like, it feels like this is the point where, like, people probably moving together.

But I don't feel that. And right now for us. And so, like, to me, it was like, oh, like, but it's like, I wouldn't mind this to, like for us and so like to me it was like oh like but it's like I wouldn't mind this like somebody being like maybe having somebody even having a key they can come over whatever but just the finiteness of being like and now we live together it's like I think that's a little scary for me a key a keys are good I'll make you a key and then you could just text me when you're there if i'm not there and you're there cool what up skis but like go home sometimes yeah you need to have your own space you need to

go home um not tonight i'm kind of uh if you don't mind not coming over i'm kind of tired tonight i'm real sleepy you stay away best case scenario you live like two miles away from me it's like close enough that we could be in constant communication and near each other, but like you go home. That's all I want. No offense, boys are gross. But also, I'm nasty. Yeah, I was about to say

women are gross too, which I never thought. Which I never realized until I was like, oh right, like women are also gross too. Disgusting. Like a lady's restroom is really gross sometimes sometimes you'll like look at the toilet and be like you period all over this toilet seat period you you bled you bled everywhere and this is not how i want to live uh there was this lady at the airport yesterday i walked in after her there was piss all over the seat so i opened the door and i said you you peed all over this seat and there's a bunch of women

around her and she went i uh and we had all watched her leave that stall so like i was right and she started to speak and i went i'll clean it but i'm angry and i closed the door and i started giggling to myself which i think was out loud in hindsight after i like cleaned it and then i was like you're the crazy one in this scenario you are fully insane everyone in that bathroom is going to talk about the the wild black woman they're gonna be like yeah like that woman pissed on the seat and that was gross but this woman this black woman really let her have it in a very over the top way in a really aggressive way also she was wearing a shirt that said la thickness instead of fitness my friend big dipper made me this shirt and i was wearing it in the airport i'm bald headed like no makeup just screaming at women and i was also wearing a

floral legging like i looked really crazy but she made me so angry how dare you pee on the seat and not clean it up i'm like squat if you want ronnie i'll tell you something women be squatting maybe squatting in the bathroom and they're peeing on the scene they're peeing everywhere i'm somebody i have to i have to clean up after myself same like i can't just like you know sometimes you miss like and it's like all right i gotta i gotta clean it up sometimes you miss yeah like sometimes like sometimes like uh for whatever reason sometimes like uh sometimes you can't control, like, sometimes you, like, take a piss or whatever,

and it just don't come out straight like it's supposed to. It's like a hose? Yeah. Does your dick just move like a hose? No, the dick is fine, but sometimes, like, it'll just shoot out weird. Oh. Like, or, like, sometimes, like, you'll have it or you think you will, but maybe, like, in the back, it the back it's turned in a little weird way.

So it just doesn't shoot straight. Sometimes you have a boner, it don't shoot straight. Yeah, that makes sense. Different scenarios. I'd like to be in a relationship so I can hold my partner's penis while they pee. Because it's something I can't experience as a woman without or not as a person who identifies as a woman who doesn't have a penis i want to hold something while it pees i think that would be fun i spent a long time in my youth trying to pee standing up i'll tell you something

it doesn't really work for women in any sort of iteration wait if you're standing up trying to pee like i mean it just doesn't just go down if you're standing up trying to pee, does it just go down if you're standing up? Sometimes it goes out if you do it forcefully. But when I was little, I would straddle the toilet and try to pee that way, and it would just go down my legs. I recently just had to pee on the side of the road. I was leaving Vegas, and we were on a bus with a broken bathroom, and I had to pee really bad.

And it was like a chartered bus, so it wasn't like a bunch of strangers on a Greyhound where I'm like, can I pee? So I said to all my friends, I was like, we got to stop. I got to pee really bad. And it was like a chartered bus. It wasn't like a bunch of strangers on a Greyhound where I'm like, can I pee? So I like said to all my friends, I was like, we got to stop. I got to pee. So then we pulled off to the side of the road because the rest stop was too far away and I really had to go. And then as I was peeing, I looked up and there was a trucker staring at me.

So then I stared at him. And it was a very weird 30 seconds of my life. And I'd like to think that he's gonna hold that in his heart for a long long time oh 1000 pull over the side of road a black lady who looked like she was having a great time her hat said feminist and she was squatting peeing on the side of the road i when i wouldn't when i was growing up with my neighbor she i i one time we were all outside playing, and one time I saw her squatting by one of those huge outside AC unit spin things that you have growing up behind apartment buildings and shit. And I seen her pin one time, and I remember seeing it and then looking away and then running up like, oh, we're playing still, whatever. And it's something that still flashes in my mind.

It's like, remember this from your youth? It's one of those things. still whatever and it's something that still like flashes in my mind every like it looks like remember this from your youth like like it's one of those things like i just like oh yeah like so yeah so i know he's like seeing up as like i'm never gonna forget that he's gonna be just squatting down with vans with flames on them a little hat that said feminist just squatting and staring at him it was a great time. Do you think truckers just jerk off as they drive in their truck? Absolutely. But then also maybe not.

Because some men, when they come, kind of move their whole bodies. And they're like... So maybe when you're driving, you'd just be swerving? I'm too... Because I'm not a clean freak. I don't want people to think I'm a clean freak, but I'm also like... You're not jizzing all over your house. Exactly.

I have to be like, here's where it is. It's contained and we have to clean it up. Do you jizz in the shower? I have before, but it's very rare. And I'm usually like... I usually squat down by the drain. Like, okay, get close to the drain. Like, I'm not going to just, like, come on the wall or something.

But I should. One day I'm going to get crazy. One day I'm going to get crazy. I squat near the drain. Honestly, it's my favorite imagery that I've ever seen in my life. Just a man squatting jerking off seriously trying to shoot it near the drain well yeah but mind you

I'm doing it standing up and then when it's like oh I'm close that's when the squat turns that's when the squat turns that makes it even better what a treat Ronnie this has been a delight but we're towards the end

can I ask you a question? would you date me? would I date you? oh boy I feel like that's a hard no coming up but it's okay lots of people have said no I mean you know it's like

it's not even the fact that it's like cause you've already heard like my hangups when it comes to, like, dating or whatever. And so, like, even if the answer would be yes, it is still, like, the notion of being, like, but do I think that, do I see us working out? Like, I just, like, oh, I know that it would be fun. I know we have a good time. But then you're going to go, like, but do but do you see like we're going in the long run? And I think like I'm at the point where like I'm just like I want us.

I wish I could be like, you know what? I'm having fun, but I feel like my fun days is behind me. I'm like, I'm looking. I'm looking. Which is probably not the best way to go about it. No, I think that's a great way to go about it. Like looking is a great thing. Looking for a future, I think, is good.

Because looking for the now, that has an expiration date. Because now is not forever. Oh, wow. I should put that in a fortune cookie. In a fortune cookie? You can put that anywhere. You gonna throw it in a fortune cookie? Yeah.

And now is not tomorrow. Do you have anything you want to promote? And now is not tomorrow. Do you have anything you want to promote? Like you said earlier, I perform over at the UCB Theater every second Friday with my team, White Women. I also have my team, the Dragons, who perform every Saturday there at UCB Sunset at 1030. So if you're in town, you can come see that. I do other shows and stuff, too, or whatever.

I don't know. Follow me on Instagram. Maybe I'll promote something on that. What's your Instagram? Bones Adrian? Yeah, Bones Adrian. And then what's your Twitter? Unimportant.

I'm hardly ever on it. So if Bones Adrian is the same thing, you can follow me on Twitter, but it wouldn't matter. Start, when this comes out, start checking your DMs because the ladies will DM you. Okay. If you like this episode of Oh, I Want to Date Me, if you write me a nasty review on iTunes or DM me on Instagram, I will find it and I will read it. This person emailed me and said,

Have you ever had a threesome with a scrawny white boy and a curvy girl with an ass that just won't quit? Well, now you can. We want to take turns making your pussy lips flap like Dumbo's ears while the other person massages your titties and drinks the jar of cum you keep on your nightstand and spits it around the room like a sprinkler. Just to clarify,

I don't keep a jar of cum on my nightstand. It was just a silly thing I said at the top of an episode. So, just please don't keep that in your heart. I don't have a jar of episode. So just please don't. We don't know that. Keep that in your heart. I don't have a jar of cum. I do have water that I keep on my nightstand in case I get parched.

Okay, thank you. Bye-bye. This has been a Team Coco production.