Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Our Healthy Era (w/ Kym Whitley)

Episode Date: March 20, 2026

Legendary comedian and actress Kym Whitley (Curb Your Enthusiasm, Young and Hungry) joins Nicole to chat about entering their healthy era. She fixes Nicole's hydration habits, shares easy ways she incorporates exercise into her routine, and they discuss their life post-weight loss. Kym shares her wildest dating stories, including jumping an ex's fence in a catsuit and cape, and the televised blind date she had with an unexpected star. Plus, Kym teaches us the lost art of flirting.Take our listener survey and shape the future of the podcast!Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:» Jones Road Beauty: Use code DATEME at jonesroadbeauty.com to get a Free Shimmer Face Oil with your first purchase! #JonesRoadBeauty #ad» Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.» MeUndies: Right now as a listener of my show, you can get to get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping at MeUndies.com/DATEME, promo code DATEME.» Jones: Ready to quit for good? Go to quitwithjones.com/DATEME to start your personalized quitting journey and get 15% off with code DATEME.» Planned Parenthood: Donate to support Planned Parenthood now at plannedparenthood.org/defend.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. This is a headgum podcast. Do you have white men attracted to you or black? Because you're different. Miss Pat said the same thing. She said this almost verbatim, the same question followed up with,

because you're different. It's usually white men who hit on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see you being a white man. magnet. A white man magnet. I mean, I don't have a type, but a type has me. A type has you.

If I was a white man, I would be attracted to you. You guys, I find as I get older, it's getting harder and harder to actually wrangle my friends. Everyone is busy. Half of them are in relationships. The group chat is a mess. And our schedules never line up. So when we finally get a weekend on the calendar to go to Palm Springs, I am not wasting it. When time is precious with my friends, a hotel room just doesn't cut it.

I want us to really live together for the weekend, not be sequestered in little hotel rooms. That's why I always look to book a home on Airbnb. I love to have a full kitchen to make our cocktails and our weird grilled dinners. I need a private pool and a hot tub all to ourselves and a gorgeous property with a view where we could take really cute pictures. Why book a room when you can have a whole property? And what's great about Airbnb is they have a list of guest favorites. It's a badge on the app that shows the highest rated and most loved homes. It takes the guessing game out of it.

If it has a badge, I know it's going to be cute. I know it's reliable and I know we're going to have a good time. So, the next time you travel, book a home on Airbnb to maximize your experience. Imagine you finally meet someone great. Things are going well and then you realize your access to basic things like birth control or STI testing is at risk because of some lawmakers who've never met you. It's a scary reality we're living in. That's why Planned Parenthood is so important.

They believe every single one of us should have the power to make decisions about our own bodies and our own futures. Whether you or your partner need birth control, STI testing and treatment, abortion, gender affirming care, or sex education, Planned Parenthood is here for you. But right now, lawmakers across the country are actively trying to prevent people from getting this as health care. They are attacking Planned Parenthoods, trying to deny access to birth control and pushing abstinence only until marriage programs, which is truly just like wild. Because of this, millions of people could lose access to care, especially black and Latino people, people in rural areas, people with low incomes and women. Planned Parenthood believes health care is a human right.

Together with people like you and me, they are fighting every day to build a future where everyone can get the care they need no matter who they are or where they live. Supporters like you, power this work. Donates a Planned Parenthood now at Plannedparenhood.org slash defend. Why won't you date me? A podcast for me, Nicole Byer has been trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come on a table, put a plan in it, and tell me it's pottery. My guest today is a legendary comedian,

an Emmy nominated actress, who you know from her roles in Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Bay, and Act your Age, and Young and Hungry. I did an episode. We didn't have any scenes together, but it was incredible to watch her work at the table and then watch her work at the live taping. And you can hear her every week on the podcast, Two Funny Mamas. I'm so excited. It's Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, I'm so excited.

I am so excited. I've never been able to hang out with you. I know. And this is great. I think it's you. It's me. I don't think I ever told you. Watching you work was actually incredible.

Because what you did at the table was you murdered every joke. And then at the live taping, they switched a bunch of your jokes. And then you murdered those jokes. And it was just so fun to watch. Oh, that's so kind of you. My God, watching you is a master class. You've been doing comedy for so long. Like, that sounded rude.

So long. But, like, you just been working and you're still working and you're still touring. And I love that. Oh, thank you. I love watching you. You have an energy. I didn't know you, but I wanted to know you. And that's when you watch somebody and you want to know them, you want to meet them, it's different.

It's not like you're just watching a person as like, oh, they're good. I was like, something's wrong with her. I got to meet her. And that's my favorite compliment. I was doing a show and there was a show. an older black lady who was sitting in the front row, and at every punchline, she would go, hmm, she's stupid. And I was like, oh, I love that so much.

Yes. And then when she didn't do it, I'd be like, well, that joke might might just have to go. She didn't say I was stupid. Oh, no. Were you like this as a kid? Yes. I could see that. I've always been like this.

I love talking. Teachers hated me. They'd be like she's in everybody's business. And I was like, well, everyone's doing things wrong. I need to let them know. I need to help the children. Yeah, you'd say, what's sign? of you?

What sign? I am a Virgo. Really? A funny burgo? I know. Isn't that wild? Wait, what are you? I'm a cancer Leo.

I don't know why I asked. I don't really know. Oh, no, I do know Leo's. Leo's like to be out there before. Speaking of wild, you once dated a man who played for the Clippers and you jumped over a fence slash gate to confront him

to get into his house because he had another girl over. Tell me about that. Wait a minute, man. You know what? I just told that story for the first time somewhere. And man, oh, man, how does it get out? Oh, just silly and young.

How old were you? It's very my, look, I want to make it real young. That's probably 19. I was probably 45. No, I was in my 30s, young 30s. And, you know, jealous. Heard there was a girl over there because my other girlfriend was dating someone on the team also. and they were parked in his SUV watching me do this crazy stuff.

They set me up, foolishness. And, you know, just dramatic. I put a whole black cat suit on. I put a cape on. Wait, did you really? Yeah. Yeah, and I drove down and I climbed a tree to get over the fence. And then my cape got caught in the fence.

No, he got caught in the tree. So I had to let the cape go, drop down. and yell and try to get him to come out and he wouldn't come out. Then I hid behind a trash can, but my feet are too big, so my toes were sticking out. Crazy!

I love it. He never got in. Never got in. No, he opened the garage to come out. Because it was like a townhouse, and he opened the garage to come out. And I was like, aha! And I dropped and rolled under the garage,

and I ran up the little steps to go into the house, I did a lot. I was like, Oh, smarter than him. Thank you. Did you talk to him again after this, or was that a rap? It was pretty much a rap. I talked to him, but not like that.

What were you going to do? What was the master plan? When you got inside, were you going to be like, bop, bop, bop on that girl? Do you think it was a plan? No, I literally was just going to open the door and go like, ha-ha! I am here.

Who are you? And I had no plan. I had no, like, I'm going to fight you. It was, I think I had to prove it. I was all about dramatics. I didn't care. I'd never been a girl who really cared about another woman. But I wanted to catch you.

I wanted to go, ha-ha. I never, just never been that person like, I'm going to fight you. I'm like, no, take them if you want them. You can have them. But I'm going to make a real big show about it before you have them. show. Kim, that's so funny. I love that you got dressed for the event. You said I'm going to put on a cat suit. I'm going to put on a cape. Yes. I'm going to climb a tree. I think I even had like the black stuff under my eye. I don't even know why that was. It was like ridiculous. Just a football

player is doing for the sun, Kim, not to break. I don't know. Maybe he had like floodlights and you were like, I don't want that to get into my eye. That's what it was. I don't know. It seemed like you were very prepared. I was prepared. I love that. A little too much. Kim, are you single right now? Dating? I like to say I'm single, but, you know, I never want to put that out there. I'm going to feel like you're supposed to put it in the universe. I'm dating. Yeah, and not dating enough.

Okay. I don't date. I'm not a dater, if that makes sense. I think so. Yeah, I'm not a, like, someone calls me. I don't catch the hands, but you have to literally say, would you like to go out to dinner? Would you like to go to a movie? Would you like to hang out?

And then I can say yes. but I'm always busy. It should have been a priority long time ago. I don't know. I think you have such a wonderful career that, you know, anybody would be lucky to be in that orbit. And I think you focused on the career and you focused on the comedy.

And maybe now is the time. Maybe. Well, my son is 15. It's easier. It's hard when you have a kid. You're trying to sneak and not, I don't know if he's going to be around long enough. Is this the one?

And then, you know, it's, but it's easier. He's 15 now. So if I meet someone, but then he goes, get off my mama. What? Don't do that. No, you want them to get on your mama. Your mama's trying to be happy. Exactly.

So dating is, what about you? I am in a relationship. I have a very nice man who's in my life and he's really sweet. He's very cute. And then he likes all of this. which is none. I've never had to make myself smaller for him. How long have you been dating them?

It is a year and a half. And yeah. That's a long time. It's been a while. This is my longest relationship I've ever been in. It's also the healthiest. And we talk so much about our feelings to the point where I said one day, oh, what if we didn't?

What if we just didn't? What if we were just mad for a little bit? Where did you meet him? I met him on an app, hinge. Everyone is always talking about these apps. Are you on the apps? How are you going to be on an app when you're a celebrity? How do you do that?

What do they say? Are you Nicole? No, not on Hinge. Hinge truly was just like, we don't really care about you. What was it? Tinder. Tinder was like your catfishing. And I've said it before, but I was like, I would pick a different celebrity to cat.

This isn't, no. I would pick somebody much hotter. That's true. I would. Honestly, I'd pick a white lady. They're the ones who get the most hits. They will get the black men too. No?

So you're not on any apps? No, when they first came out, I'm about years ago when they first came out. I was on plenty of fish. I was on match something. I never took down to my profiles. They're probably still up. I just never went back on check. I did meet a couple guys back then.

But then you meet people there like, are you sugar? You sugar from next Friday. Why are you on here? I was like, okay. Why are you on your? Same reason you're? on here. I'm trying to find somebody. But Star Jones did it and got married.

Wait, really? Yeah, she just put her eyes on. And there's another attorney said, you know, who are? Your eyes are intriguing. And they started talking and dating and now they're married. You know what? I love that. I love the Star Jones.

It's like, I'm just going to put my eyes up there. I'm going to be very mysterious and then be like, well, I'm Star Jones. You can't be that mysterious for very long. No, I'm Star Jones. Sorry about it. And you've got to pick and choose. I was thinking maybe I just put an elbow. Yeah.

Moistrize it? Take a picture. Then men would be like, that's only your elbow. I want to see more. Well, you'll have to take me to dinner first. How about that? Buy me a little bit of a steak and you can get the wrist. I might do that.

Take so much work to get on the app. It does take a lot of work because then you have to do the profile. You got to make sure your pictures are clear and nice and show the full body. When I was on the apps, I like always made sure to have like three pictures of my body. because there is no world where I'm getting there. And they're like, oh, I'm surprised about your size, especially when I was bigger. Got it.

Right. You don't want that. You're saying, No, no, no. This is who I am. And then when I met my current partner, I had pictures of me bigger than I actually was on the app because I was like,

I simply don't want to deal with somebody who doesn't like me at that size. Because weight is very hard to lose, but very easy to find. That's fine. You could find it. any old place. In your sleep. Truly. If you don't watch it for like a week and you get on the scale, you're like,

who I found a lot. Yeah, but that's the trick. Getting on the scale. That's the thing. A lot of us don't get on the scale. But if you got on that scale every three days, it would keep you kind of, okay. Yes. And I think people sometimes go, if you get on the scale every three days,

you're like obsessing about it. But I don't obsess about it. I'm just trying to maintain. Maintain because I will wait that week and then I will have gone up quickly. But if I catch it in a couple of days, I'll say, oh, let me drink some of my water. Yes. You don't want a couple more walks. Eat some chicken for protein.

Eat some little protein. Do a little more exercise. Everybody talking about protein. I was in the grocery store. Pop-Tart said, it was so many grams of protein. I said, how many grams of sugar? Protein for Pop-Tarts? Well, you got to go find something.

I found another little snack. And it said all this protein in it. And it was like a little sweet snack. I was like, this is not protein. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. They'll get you. They say, it's got protein.

I'm like, it's got sugar and carbs. And then that makes the protein nothing negligible. Maybe in the top is frosted with protein. A little chicken protein on the top. A little chicken protein. You've lost weight. I have. You look great.

Tell me how you did it. I am a paid spokesperson for Zetbound. Did you bust out laughing? Yes. How did you do it? How did you lose weight? They paid me. They gave me money and I said, all right, I'll get on the elliptical.

That is so true, but not true. My doctor put me on Zep Bow first and then I became a paid spokesperson for Zep Bow because I wanted to let people know, you know, that there was a tool out there to lose weight. So I was very excited about it because I didn't know about these things. Me either. Did you know about these things? No, and they've been around for a very long time. Have they been around for a very long time?

I think it feels like they just came out, but they were around. They were around. I feel like they started working, and then they became more prevalent. Because I know there's semi-glotudes and tripis appetites. Yeah, there's all the people. I'm not saying it right. But one of them has been around to help diabetics. And then recently they were like, oh, this actually just helps with weight loss and, like, suppressing the appetite a little bit.

Well, that's what's interesting about Zepbound. It is only for weight loss. And that's what for a tool for me, which was great when I talked to my doctor about it, you know, got on it. And it makes you go like, oh, this is the tool. We don't feel stuck anymore. You know, that up and down. And like you said, we check it. You know, so I really, if anybody was watching the podcast, you know, we encourage you to talk to your doctor about it.

You talk to your doctor about it. I did. I talked to my doctor about it. And found this tool. And it has really helped me. when you say, oh, you lost weight. A lot of people say that. Oh, you lost weight.

Like, I want to, but you put me in this little, little bitty chair. I want to cross my legs like you're crossing your legs. I want to get up and I can do this. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. See, lost a little weight. Look at me.

So that's, I mean, and I always, well, for me, I encourage people to go to zepbound. Lily.com and to talk to their, definitely talk to their doctor about it. And there is like a stigma, I feel like, especially in the black community where it's like, you don't need medicine for that, for mental health, for your just health in general. But I do think it's like, it's nice to see a black woman who said, I needed a little bit of help. So I spoke to my doctor and, you know, I'm doing it. I was saying before the podcast, I'm on a different one. And I at first was like, I don't think losing weight's going to help my health. I don't think so. I don't think it's going to make my life better, whatever. And it has.

And I find that to be deeply annoying. I hate that I'm more flexible. I hate that I have more energy. I hate that I can do more. And the reason why I hate it is because I was like, I liked who I was bigger. And then I had to learn to like this person too because I like look in the mirror and be like, I look different. But also I do look the same. And I'm still the same person.

Same person. I can just do a little bit more. Have you felt like your life has improved with the weight you've lost? Well, I feel like, you know, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say improved. I would say my life has always been how it is, you know. But I would just say that I have felt like when I say like diet and exercise, now that I have this tool that it felt like it has become easier for me because I got this little, I got my little tool right here, that I got my little tools

that I can say, okay, now I can choose foods differently. I don't have that craving. I got to, you know, I want, then I say, okay, I got to couple that with the exercise. And even if I don't, for me, this is for me, everybody else got to check with their own doctor, and all the results are different for other people. My exercise, I said this morning, I got up. I said, I only feel like doing 15 minutes on the elliptical because I'm just not there yet. So I make sure I get on the elliptical, I do 15 minutes, and that's it.

And maybe I'll do some more when I get home. So I do the exercise. I got me some berries this morning, you know, and I got some yogurt. So I feel like before, you know, I had Zepbound, I felt like my food choices were different for me. So that was good. But I want to ask you this, too, what do you feel like when people say that we're cheating? That's the thing that, you know. I don't think it's cheating.

Do they cheat? What about a cancer drug? Is that cheating? That's exactly. That's what I feel. Heart drug. Is that cheating? No, it's just, it's aid. It's helping.

And I like that you said that you didn't feel like doing more than 15 minutes, but you did the 15 minutes. I think a lot of people just go, I don't feel like doing the 15. I just won't do anything. But even if you did five, five, two minutes. That's better than nothing. It's nothing. If you just start, and what I tell people, this is what I tell people how I start, I spend more time on the phone. than exercising.

So if I take a phone call, put it on speaker or whatever, and I walk around my living room, back and forth, walk around the backyard. Because you sit there on the phone. You know, I was thinking about getting one of those little things

you put under the desk and just talk on the phone. But, you know, at least just walking around, you know. And that's part of your exercise and water, you know. I was telling you about the water. That's the one. I don't like water. I know. I know. It's hard. But you know another trick, someone told me. Put six bottles or three bottles of water by your bed. Just a little eight ounce, six pounds, and when you get up, drink them straight down. Just sit there, drink them out. Now look how much you've gotten your water in for the day. And it's early in. It's early. It's hard. It's hard. I just don't like it. I like soda. What? I love Diet Dr. Pepper.

Do you? I love Diet Dr. Pepper. And your skin is so nice. I know. Can you believe? That's a lot of makeup. You got to put the water in with your diet pepper, Dr. Pepper. I know. I just don't like it.

It's truly the one hurdle for me. Just drinking. And then any day I have drank a ton of water, I'm like, wow, I feel really good. I don't have a headache. The next day I'll be like, straight back to not drinking water. I'll be like, my hair is so bad, and I don't know why. The dehydration. Yes, it's real.

It's real. I'm bad. Now, I'm not here to tell you that I am by any means the water drinker. But I know that we have to drink the water. So like I was showing you my little bottle. Now, I might carry the bottle all day and not get it in. But at least you carried the bottle with you. Carried the bottle.

You threatened to drink water. I threatened to drink that water because even your skin changes. Everything, you know, our body is something like, I don't know how much the percentage is, but it's so much water in our body. I don't think they said you can go so many days without food, but you can't go so many days without water. It's something like that. Something like that.

Yeah. I think. I don't know. Who's to ever find out? Oh, no. Who's to ever look that one up? Not me. I'll just take it.

That is so crazy. So you've been set up on blind dates and you've been set up by your cousin and the porn star, Lexington Steel. Yeah. How did a porn star set you up? I know how a cousin set you up. It's my lovely assistant, Lindsay, she finds everything. Yeah.

Andre Levelle, my friend, who's a comic, and we were doing my show Raising Whitley at the time and, you know, trying to date. And Lexington steals tall, chocolate, good-looking, but I'm not a, I don't, I didn't know porn people. I didn't know their names. I don't know them. I didn't know they even were famous.

you know, like that. And we were on a date, and they were filming the date, and say, I'm sitting here and Lexington is sitting there. But he's intelligent. He's traveled the world. You know, I mean, really intelligent. So we were sitting there talking. I was like, oh, I got a good one here.

Look at him. He's smart. He's good looking. He's a gentleman. And all of a sudden, behind him, in the cameras, I see people darking back and forth. And so I'm trying to focus. I'm like, what is happening?

And I have an earpiece in. And all of a sudden, a PA had run and told the producers, that's Lexington still. He's a born star. So you had no idea. No idea. Did your cousin know who set you up? Andre knew it was his boy.

What his friends? But this was on the Oprah Winfrey Network. So you've got to be careful. If this was on something else, maybe not. But Oprah, I would be like, oh, what are we doing here? But so I think they were freaking. out and Oprah probably found it funny, but they were freaking out. And so they whispered in my ear. I mean, I was into it and they whispered my ear and they were like, Kim, that's Lexington Steel,

because that's not what you introduced himself. It gave me his real government name. And I remember going like to, okay. Okay. All right. All right. I'm biving with this man. I'm biving with me. Whatever he said could be putatee, whatever. And they were like, we're going to have to cut. They said something like, he's a porn star. And I remember I was like this, huh? And I couldn't hear anything he was saying after that. I was like, because it was almost like all your hopes and dreams just went. Just went away.

And I was so mad at my friend because I was like, what a wait, but it wasn't a waste, but it was waste. It makes a good story. And Lexington was a sport about it. It was a great guy, but it was, that one was, ooh, wow. All my other girls was like, girl, that was Lexington's still, girl. I wouldn't have known. I don't watch enough to be like, oh, I recognize this person from born.

And who's going to recognize his face? When there's other things on display, who's looking at that face? Did you go on a second date with Lexington Steel? No. No, but we became friends. I love that. When you tour, I asked male comedians this,

but I also try to ask female ones, do you have any chuckle fuckers? Is there anybody after shows who's like, Kim, what if I took you back to the hotel room? You get a lot of them. Uh-huh. And what's interesting, I'm starting to get groups. Oh.

It's like, I always, sometimes a couple was like send her up a drink. I'm like, okay, thank you. Real nice. And then they're still talking to me. I was like, y'all try to take me home. Yes. I was like, what? Yes.

Yes, we are. I said, no, y'all not taking me home so I can do some. jokes for you. Yeah, you know, not as many as I used to. And like I said, I'm so naive and such a, I'm such a tomboy that I'll miss it or not, you know, really pay attention to it. And I don't believe people. Oh. I know that's weird.

I got a lot of men who show up a couple of times to the show. And I'm like, okay, but you hear twice? And this is the deal with me. Usually only Pisces men talk to me. Okay. Pisces and Capricorn men who are very secure in themselves because they're afraid I'm going to say something crazy. They say, but you have to come into me and literally say, hi, I'm interested in you or I'd like to take you out. Oh, man, I just thought about that in Texas.

The guy gave me his phone number. and I said, I'm going to call you because he was nice looking at it. I said, I'll call you. Just forgot about that. I think Erlene might have that number. It was two days ago, three days ago. You better call that, man.

You know what it is? I didn't, I should have given him my number and said, you call me. I said, I'll call you. Please, I don't even remember. I'll never say I'll call you. I'm not giving myself more work to do. I simply won't, like you, I won't remember.

Yeah, I was bad. I just thought about that. Well, if you're watching, I apologize. But you literally have to say You got to be really open. When I was dating, I was the same way. You have to hit me over the head and be like, I like you. I want to take you out.

Otherwise I'm like, isn't that a nice conversation? But then I'll be at the grocery store and I'm like, wait, that cashier wants me so bad. And then I have to go home and be like, no, they don't. They were being nice because their job is to be nice and check me out. You're at Trader Joe's. He's wearing a Hawaiian shirt going, you like this pumpkin spice whatever? And it's like, oh, my God. Yeah, I do like that pumpkin spice.

This is interesting. Do you have white men attracted to you or black? Because you're different. Miss Pat said the same thing. She said this almost verbatim the same question followed up with because you're different. It's usually white men who hit on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see you being a white man magnet.

A white man magnet. I mean, I like all types of men. I don't have a type. I just like men who, in my older age, who are nice to me when I was younger, be mean to me. I'd be like, okay, well, maybe if you hang around me enough, you'll be nice to me. But now I'm like, you have to be nice. That's just the number one. It's the number one.

Yeah, I don't have a type, but a type has me. A type has you. If I was a white man, I would be attracted to you. Thank you. I appreciate that. Oh, yeah. Kim, real quick, we got to take a break. We are well into the year now,

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Quince.com slash date me. You're a cartoon character. I like... Okay. I also think of a bit like a cartoon character, and I think that's why kids like me, because I hosted this show called Nailed It, and...

Yes, you do. Time after time again, people are like, my kid loves you. And for a while, I was like, why do they like me so much? And I was like, oh, because I'm like an adult cartoon. Like, they understand I'm an adult, but I'm like,

I see the cake to me. No. You are a whole cartoon. It cracks me up. That's what I was saying. When a person, when you want to meet, you know, the joy that you have inside, you know, it comes out. Thank you. You seem like a person who's had a good childhood.

I did have a good childhood. You could tell. And a good mother who, I've said this on the podcast before, but she used to always say to me, It takes more energy to frown than it does to smile. And anytime I've been, like, mad and, like, I'll be like, hmm, wait a minute. She's right. And it just always makes me smile. Even when I'm upset, I'll end up smiling.

And I think that you will stay younger looking. People always ask, like, what's the secret? I think the secret. What's your secret? Joy, happiness, smiling all the time. I look at your face and I think about, it comes from the inside and it comes out. plus water. Oh, did I say that to you?

No. But I think that's true. I'd be even happier if I drink more water. I just don't like it because then you got to pee all the time. That's a problem. But I've heard your body gets acclimated to the water. And after you drink water for, you're like, I've never heard of that. I've never heard that one time.

It gets acclimated. It probably does until you hit a certain age. And then it's like, oh, no, I'm not holding on to all this. What's a red flag for you in dating? Oh. Like, what's something that you're like? oh no, we simply, mine is truly, you have to be nice to me. You just have to be.

But what is nice? Nice is. You might be different nice to someone else. Nice to me is my mouth works faster than my brain. So sometimes I'll say something silly or dumb that I'm like, I don't know. I thought that was true. And I've dated people who will like make fun of me and be like, oh, did you really think that was true?

And it's like, I don't know. For the time being I did. And then you've now corrected me. and now I understand it's not true, and you've been very rude about it, and you could have corrected me a little bit nicer. The nice man in my life right now, he'll just be like, hey, you know that that's not real, right?

And I'll go, oh, that's funny. That's hilarious. It's just gentle and nice. I want a doll like you. Every time I touch it, I want to just laugh like that. Like a little tiggle me Elmo? Yes. But it's just a little Nicole being like,

I'm going to invest in that. Let's do it. I would love to see me in doll form because I really do think I'm adorable. You are. As soon as you get a cartoon, we're going to make a doll. I would love to be like a, like a, because I've done cartoons, but never ones where I look like me. Yeah. I would love, the closest thing is boss baby, but I kind of look like a little Oprah.

She looks, she's a little Oprah looking, but kind of looks like me, but she's really cute. But I just want like a little meat. Yeah, you can do that. You can make your own doll. Put it right here on your pocket. I guess. See? If someone's out there who makes dolls?

Actually, no. I don't know what the intention will be behind it. Because people have made me dolls before. No, no, different kind of dolls. And I have them because... Please send a picture to me later on. I will.

I have so many little dolls that people have made of me. And it's nice, it's kind, but I did ask for people to stop making dolls of me. No, please don't make any more dolls. I don't know what kind of... They don't know what intentions were behind it. See, yeah, I don't want that. They want you laughing all the time. They're tickling me at all.

Somebody just tickled you. So I was making a doll right now, just chickling me? I'm just like, I can't stop. Okay, a red flag for me. Well, at least you remember. I was like, I have no idea what question I am. I know. A red flag is, if you're out on a date,

and a man talks poorly about his mother. That is a red flag. Believe it or not, I didn't believe it. But when I started really, I am a connoisseur of people. And of men. My girlfriends have a nickname. I'm called Cargo Pants. Because they say I have a man in every pocket.

I do fill up my pockets and I have different types of men. Because I really like to examine men and how they think. I have brothers. So I have found out that men that have a problem with their mother or don't like or tend to be mean and not kind to you. So you always want to date someone who loves their mother because they're going to love and adore you. Okay. That would be a red flag. I think other red flags are men who tell you the women they've slept with or been with in the past, especially if you might know them.

Because then that means they're going to tell your business. Ooh. That's a very good one. God to be careful. So those are some of the red flags for me. I mean, I could write a book on red flags, honey, but yeah. And what's a, I'll let you take a sit first before I ask another question. I'm dehydrated, I told you.

I'm dehydrated, Celsius. Oh, it's all done. You ever have a Celsius? You're not supposed to be drinking. Where's your water? I know. I know. It's bad.

Oh, when we're off the air, I'm getting in your ass. This little cute talk right here just because we're filming. But you just wait when they say cut. Oh, I'm going to let you have it. I know. It really is a problem. And I should drink. I will drink.

I will start. Okay. I do. I'm on a group text with some friends because I said to them, I was like, I really do need to actually drink more water. And they were like every day, one of us will say, Nicole, have you drink water? And when I get that text, I go, all right, let me go. all right, let me go fill up a cup and I'll drink my water.

A cup. Yeah. Where's your bottle? I simply don't have one. And by I don't have one, I have so many bottles and whatnot. I just, they're in a cupboard. They're also so far up. You know what? I'm going to give you two bottles that will help you drink water.

Do you like drinking out of a straw? I do. Okay, I'm going to give you a bottle that's a straw, but it will give you a straw like, I drink a lot of water because of that. Okay. I'm going to, I mean, I'll tell you about it afterwards. I don't want to sit here and promote things that it might be a go against your promotion of your stuff. You never know.

Who knows? I never know what ads running during what episode. Oh, right. That's just above me. You might get them to send you. First of all, I want these people to send you a bottle. Circle. Circle.

I want that bottle sent to you first. Circle. Please send. Yep. And the flavors. Circle, please send me that and the flavors. And the flavors. And then I want the.

The people from, I don't forget the name of the daggone bottles. My favorite bottle starts with an O, and Ehrlich's not in here. Owella? Oh. Is that? Does that sound about right? Owella? Am I making things up?

Is that it? She's looking at. It's a bottle. Oh, W. Does it, do you see a straw sticking out? If not, it's the wrong bottle. It does not have a straw sticking out. It has a little, I don't have my phone. She took my phone. It has like a little, it like goes down and pops up.

What does it look like? Do you see? What do you see? That's it? That is it. Oduela. That is it. See those different colors?

Well, how do you say that name? I think Odwella. Owala. Owella. My niece, oh, no, they're not going to say Ovalah. Ovalah. And this is why I love this bottle. Uh-huh.

So it has two holes like this. Actually looks like a woman, maybe. Because it has a little hole right here. It has a big hole. So this is right here. Say if you want to gulp out of it. But then it has a little thing, little hole, but there's no straw. The straw is down.

in the bottle. Oh. But you can just go like to, so you don't have to like, you know how the straw, you got to push it or close it. You just close it. You want to drink,

you just write out of it. Or you can go. Send me a purple one, please. Oh, Wala, please send her. That's the other one. You will drink more water. Okay. You know?

I trust you. And I'm going to get you a little pack of Dr. Pepper powder. Oh. Like sugar-free, yes. You can put that. Baby, let me take you. some Walmart got it all.

And I put that little powder in your water, you would drink that whole thing. Walmart got it all. No, Walmart. I mean, that's where I've been going since, I don't know, are we allowed back at Target? No. They have not given us the black bat signal. Please, please. Target, do better.

I miss Target. Come on, Target. Come on. Come on. I hire some black people. Let's get together. I truly have not been to Target since they were like, don't go. And I'm like, all right.

And you feel crazy walking in like sometimes I had to sneak in to get a birthday car. And I'm looking around. I was like, is there any black people out here in the parking lot? Does anybody here? Anybody going to tell on me? Tell them and you run in real quick. Oh, no, it's crazy. And then you see a black person working there. I was like, oh, you made it.

You made it through the cuts. You're still here. Get that paycheck. And the black church, somebody got to put a black bat signal. What's a green flag in dating? Oh, a green flag in dating is immediately being nice, not being pushy. When you're talking, they're listening and not talking over the whole conversation. Green flag is when they put their phone down and they're not on their phone, constantly on their phone.

A green flag, of course, they opened the door. They ask, you know, what would you like, you know? And I don't mind if a man orders for me, but he was like, do you mind? if I ordered for you. You know, of course, go in. Go ahead. You know, those are green bags. All the things that you like, what I like might be different from what you like.

Nope, that's, I like all that. Okay. I think consideration was a, I think when I say a man has to be nice, I'm just saying a man has to be considerate. Please. Like, ask me my opinion. Listen to me. Put your phone down.

Like, all that's really, really nice. Like, I should be important. We're out together, right? Yes. That is consideration. Now, I do none of that on a date, so I'm horrible. I'm biased. I'm like, a woman doesn't have to.

Yeah, I'm getting better. Women get to be fun. Yeah, I'm trying to be better. I really am. Do you want to, oh, I'll let you drink. Mm, hydration. Mm. Green apple flavor.

Oh, that's nice. Okay, I'm listening. Okay. Do you want to be a? a relationship or are you just happy being a cargo pant lady? The way I phrase that was insane, a cargo pant lady? Like, do you just like having men in different pockets or are you looking to settle down? And when I say, yeah, I have a lot of male friends. Remember, I've been a tomboy and I got male friends. I also like that you're wearing cargo pockets. I am. I was like,

my pockets are full. Not a or literal. But I, no, I want to be in a relationship. I'm I have one guy that I like a lot that I've been known for years. But it's like we're friends. I had another guy who I really liked that we went to high school with. We were together in high school, not together, but friends. But then my brother was like, it ain't going to make it. He's been my friend for years. He's not the one.

And then we didn't make it. But friends were still, it wasn't like a bad breakup. It was just like, eh. We didn't work. No, we didn't work. So, you know, do I want a date? Yes, but there is no one stepping up. Okay.

Men assume I'm too busy. There was one in Vegas, too. He was pretty persistent, but that was good. He was good to be persistent. But men assume that I'm too busy. And I'm not busy like that. I just didn't need a man to take charge because I will take charge. I will keep working.

until someone says, hey, you know what, you can slow down, won't we go get something eat or watch a movie? I'm like, people do that, you know, that kind of thing. Because I actually try to, I'm starting something new now because I travel so much. Before I go out of town, I have to, the day before, go somewhere with my son. I got to stop. I got to go to a movie. I got to spend time with him.

Let's go walk in the mall. That's how bad it is. So I'm trying to just get, you know, he's 15, pretty soon he'll be going to college. I said, we get that tradition. I don't want him getting older and writing a book about me. So. My mom, I never spent time with me. Exactly. No, that book will never be written.

That's right. Will not. I like that. I think that's really sweet. Stop and spend time with him. Yeah. Real quick, we got to take another break. Your bra and underwear shouldn't be the most uncomfortable thing you're wearing, but for the longest time, mine were digging in, riding up.

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off your first purchase of a website or domain. What's one of the best dates you've ever been on? I've been on quite a few, but I remember one Valentine's Day, a guy here in L.A. named Danny. He had the limo. He picked me up. There were rose petals all over the limo. We got in there.

I got a gift. He took me to Yamashiro's. We had dinner. We came back. We went somewhere else. I got another gift. I think that was one of the best dates here in Los Angeles. I love that. Nobody does limos anymore. I love a limo. That was a good date. You know, I was one in Atlanta. I had a good date. I started going through Detroit. Good date. What's one of the worst dates you've been on? It was probably with the The porno guy

Wasn't that look bad enough? Did that interview ever, did that date ever air anywhere or no? Yeah, I did. It aired on Raising with me. There was a date, you know, put this way. You're at the table. And his wife shows up. That's not a good date.

No, I would say that's a very bad date. You're like, you're married. But did she pay? hilarious. That's a bad date. Right, right. No, that's bad. It ain't all right.

And I don't have a lot of bad date stories. I love that. That's nice. Yeah, I've been, I think men are fearful. And what they tell me is they're fearful of my mouth. They feel like I'm going to tell the world what happened. But before, when I was dating, I was no social. media like it is now. And I've always threatened to, oh, I'm going to tell the world. I'm going to tell

everybody. But no, I usually, because I'm a comic, it's usually funny to me, you know, unless I'm really into it and something bad happens, there's dates where men don't pay and they say they left their wallet, boy, stop, you know, but that just shows you're not supposed to be with that person. Yeah. There's dates where you get sick. You get sick on a day, that's embarrassing. Drink too much fat. That was on my part. That was a bad day.

Didn't call me back. I was like, I said I was sorry. I said, I said I was sorry. Sorry about it. Meant you had a good time. But then you were sorry about what happened after the good time. Yeah, yeah. Do you have any advice for single people who are listening right now?

Yes. I think there's no one place to, meet someone and be open. I tell my girlfriends always be open to any ethnicity. You don't know where your person is, but when you close it off, you know, and I'm only going to date black guys, I'm only going to do this. You know, back in the day, that was the people were like, oh, I'm a state, you know, because you don't want to be judged or whatever the reason. Like, I don't find, white men are not attracted to me. They don't talk to me. They like brown sisters. I am light skin. I'm too close to a white girl. So they don't talk.

to me. But I would say dating apps, go out. You've got to get off that couch. My girlfriend, I was like, what do you think God's going to bring

you the man to the door? I said, well, he's going to be either UPS, he's going to be the postal service. DoorDash. DoorDash. That's who your man's going to be. You've got to get out in social settings. And women

learn how to flirt. You sit there. Women have to learn out of flirt. And guys, stop flirting so hard. When you're too aggressive, women don't like that. So there is a happy meeting. And women don't be so hot in the pants. They don't want that either.

You've got to be subtle with it. You smile. You throw a man a compliment. Men love compliments. They are going to talk to you. If you want to go stand at the bar, get a drink. You know, if a man comes up and says something to you, you can look at them, look up and down, see if you like them.

But say something nice. I don't care if he does look like a bear. He's going to be nice and happy you said something. He'll buy you a drink. But that is the thing. The art of flirting is very difficult. But for single people, you have to practice with your friends. That's the first thing you do.

And your friends, you just role play, even guy friends. And how I always will start is I am a flirt. That is just part of my DNA. My brothers, except my youngest brother, he's not a flirt. It's just part of where people pleases. I flirt with women and men. And it's not even flirting. I love complimenting people because I love to see how people react.

I like to bring a smile. I saw this older woman. She was old. She was in a booth, but she was so cute. She was a little old lady. She had on her little blue dents and she did a little haircut and everything. And I said, ma'am, I said, you are absolutely adorable. I said, my goodness.

I know someone's happy that you're. in their life. People need that. They need validation. And it doesn't matter. So with a man, it's simple as, sir, I love the way you're wearing that suit. That's a nice cologne. You know, it's just anything. You really take care of your hands. That is nice. And they'll look and they'll be like, really, you think so. I truly was like, ooh. You know, anything, your sweater is nice. Did you just get your hair cut? That's a nice cut. Kim, that was good. Like, I didn't have a haircut.

I looked at my hands. I was like, oh, oh, Kim. But you are right. People do love a compliment. And I love when I see somebody out in the world. I'll just like stop whatever I'm doing. I was at a restaurant and the host was wearing this really cute sweater. And then he was like, follow me.

And I was like, wait. I like, I like, I don't know why I said wait like that, but I really like your sweaters. And then he was like, oh, thank you. Then we talked about the sweater and had a nice time. See? The fact, I think he liked it. Because you said, wait. I like your sweater.

Yeah. Yeah. And when you start doing it, you start recognizing it. If you don't do it, you don't recognize it. But as soon as you do it, you start recognizing that humans are like, oh, are you talking to me. Yes. Yes. I'm talking to you.

Yeah. You know. I like that. And it's kindness in the world, even for women. You know, women, you know, I see a woman who's sharp or. I said, I see you. I said, you put that together. That's nice.

Ooh, I like that. You're putting that together. That's a nice compliment. Yeah. Because she worked hard. She put that together. And they say that women dress for other women. Yes.

Because they want women to say, oh, okay. Well, you get that from. Yeah. I've never put on an outfit and been like, a man's going to like this. Right. It's so true. We do. So we have to remember to share that and tell women, you know, good job.

And men also. I like the. Kim, I think that's good advice. Okay, good. Kim, we've come to the end. Do you have anything you want to promote? Yes. I have Cleveland Improv. That is March, the week of March 27th, the five shows, I believe, or four shows. Then I have Louisville, the Comedy Club, on April 1718. And then I have two funny mommas. we're doing a show in Detroit at the soundboard on May 8th Mother's Day weekend. And I'm also still doing Two Funny Mamas Podcast.

That's on YouTube with Sherry Shepard. And do you have a website that people can go to to get tickets? Yes. My website is KimTV. Is it I Am Kim Whitley? There it is. I have a website is I am Kim Whitley.com. I'm going to need somebody update that website and tell her that.

I need to write that down. Every time I leave an interview, I'm always like, what? I've had the website for years. I forget to tell people to go, whoever's the person that goes on. Yeah, that's it. My social media person. And you can follow me on social media across the board. That's where usually.

Kim, K-Y-M, W-H-I-T-L-E-Y, and that is Facebook and Instagram and Tickety-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T. Okay, Kim, I have another question. The last question, I ask almost everybody this. Would you date me? Yes. I already told you that I would date you because I want to, I would wake up to your little smile and your giggle every day. You are a ball of sunshine. Thank you, Kim.

Yes, that is, I got it. That's the name of the pie. That's why you say it. Have you ever gotten anybody to say it? say, hell no. Not so meanly, but some people have said no. Really?

My best friend said, I would try. And I was like, well, that's not kind. Well, that's your best friend. Yeah. Okay, yeah. But has anyone just been like, no? Not really. My friend Mike Mitchell, the first time he was on,

he was like, no, we'd eat ourselves to death. Okay, that's funny. Well, if you like this episode of, oh, wait, thank you for being here. I just started going to date you. I wouldn't date you because you would scare me to death. I would be in a deep sleep and then you would just bust out because you're on your phone or something. You'd go, and that would scare me. Yeah, sometimes it scares that nice man.

I know. And sometimes he's trying to sleep and I'm like, but I have more to say. And I'll tap him and be like, excuse me. Do you? I'm a monster. If you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me? You could like it or no, you could like it. You could follow it.

You can rate it five stars on Spotify. or Apple Podcasts. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me, I'll read it. And you have to write it to Why Won't You Date Me Podcasts at Gmail.com. And I'm going to ask you to keep these short because these are long. Oh, my God. This person writes, one of Nicole's dozen straight male listeners here. Oh, thank you.

Been listening since day one after her being on Comedy Bang Bang and High and Mighty. Yes, I'm white. Grand crew was fantastic as well. Wish there was more. That's so funny. You came home one day after nailing the callback of Amy Rose, because I love Sonic, but I didn't get it. Somebody else did. There's a Dodge Charger already parked waiting for you.

Vin Diesel steps out, serenating you like he's wandering around his home, but he has passengers too. Outsteps myself, along with Craven and venom and assless chaps. Vin shouts, were you about to shower you with that? Wait, you deserve that, mamacita. We all cram into your living room and bend over and clap our cheeks and shower you with lusty. affirmations, craving voice, I would hunt your pussy to the ends of the earth, and then I would catch it and feast like an animal. Vin Diesel voice, you put the nitro boost in my balls, baby.

Venem just mumbles. But the cheek clapping, wait, this is funny, this is long, but this is funny. But the cheek clapping is immaculate. People think you're hosting the Cannes Film Festival where you're getting a 20-minute standing ovation from our booty cheeks. The percussive power from our cheeks feel like a therogun set to maximum on your clit and we all orgasm at the same time. The mess is so immense and we have to re-wallpaper the next day.

But it's okay because Craven has some fabulous leopard print options for you. Oh, and the rhino and Morbius. They're watching through the window the whole time, like the naughty little cucks they are. Okay, bye-bye from Anon. Okay, backstory, I really like Sony Marvel movies. They have stopped making them, but I really enjoyed them. We got to stop. We got to stop.

Did somebody scream this? Yep, Mars. My producer, she reads them. I thought he's good. What kind of freaky girls? Okay. That was crazy. My listeners are very, very creative and nice.

They're all trying to top this one nasty one where someone wrote that they wanted to put me upside down and fill me up with clam chowder. That's interesting. I didn't like that one. But they're really trying to top that one. Wow, they did. That was a whole movie.

It was. My listeners, they're very creative and I love them so much. They're so good to me. Goodbye. That was a hit gum podcast. Hey, everyone. This is Natalie. And this is Charlie.

We're from the podcast Explore. It's really funny. It's really, really very good. And now we have a YouTube channel to go with it. That's exactly right, Natalie. You can watch full video episodes of our podcast Exploration Live at YouTube.com slash Exploration Live podcast. That means that in addition to the audio component, you're also getting a video component. Exactly. Where you're seeing our reactions, what kind of clothes we're wearing. You know, and there's a whole suite of dynamic. and physical expressions that you can really only get from a full video. Body language experts to the front. Exactly. So come check out Experson Live, either audio or video.