Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Quarantine Breakup (w/ Jamie Loftus)

Episode Date: May 1, 2020

"On what date do you reveal you're a merperson?"Comedian and TV writer Jamie Loftus (Robot Chicken, host of The Bechdel Cast) theorizes what it must be like being broken up but quarantined together, shares her fascination with balloon fetishists, and how 'Zoom-dating' has been working for people. Plus, Nicole's so dang horny, she's asking her roommate to sleep with her.For more Nicole Byer, check out her new podcast - Newcomers! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars films for the very first time. Subscribe today so you don't miss an episode.Rate Why Won't You Date Me 5-stars on Apple Podcasts and leave a dirty comment for a chance to have it read on-air.Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Pre-order Nicole's new book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me, a podcast where me, Nicole Byer, tries to figure out how I'm still single, even though you could take my glasses off my face as I'm wearing them, step on them, and kick them right at my feet, and I would still date you. My guest today has written on Robot Chicken and hosts the podcast The Bechtelcast. It's Jamie Loftus. Wait, Loftus. Hi. Jamie, how are you? I'm good. I'm well, not good. Like I've

been in the same two rooms for, you know, a long time. It's's good i think my i'm like i'm getting to the point where i'm like i don't think my animals like me oh no anymore i can't they were really like psyched about it at first but now i feel like they're slowly wanting some space to themselves that i couldn't provide fair my dog was taking a nap in the sun today and woke himself up with a fart there well at least someone's thriving that's good yeah i mean because it's not me it is not me either human interaction oh my god yeah but it's okay we're getting through it we're podcasting podcasting as if nothing is going on it's great yeah it's beautiful jamie are you a single person or are you in a relationship i'm in a relationship and we moved in together two weeks before quarantine started dang yeah it's a whole a whole thing before you moved in

together was it were you talking about it maybe being a possibility that the like a quarantine would happen or did you just move in together we were we were just gonna do it anyways because like the right we we found the right area and something we could actually afford and then yeah we were not i don't know we were at disneyland like three days before shit got like very serious so oh no yeah so i mean i i'm i'm just proud of us for not getting covid from sneezing all over disneyland three days before yeah it was like not planned even remotely and now we're just we're just learning a lot about each other is it going well mostly yes i think it took us like almost a month to get into like an actual like a fight about something which i feel

like given the circumstances it could be much worse yeah you could like three days in be like i hate this person i don't want to live with them this was bad i've made a huge mistake and i gotta die now do you know anyone that's done like a quarantine breakup yet i've i know like one set i know somebody who is like filing for like it i don't know them personally it's a story that somebody told me a friend of a friend if you will like uh filed for divorce like a couple days before quarantine started and i mean i don't know any more than that but what's the breakup that you heard of oh i had a friend who uh found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her two days into quarantine and they're just like they're

broken up now but they're just there there's nowhere for them to go they live in new york they're just like there it's the worst possible situation it's real bad what a fucking nightmare that would make me so depressed to be like all right well i'm stuck here with this fucking asshole who cheated on me i also am like it sounds like a bad movie too like it just sounds like a lame movie uh but yeah no she is uh she's not thrilled but actually like a month a month out she's like i think i've like gone through the entire grieving process and i just want this person, like, I just want him to leave. But he's there. Yeah, that feels insane to go through, like, the emotions of, like, this relationship is now dead.

It's done. But I have to see you every goddamn day. And it's like there's always so many places to sleep. It's a very small apartment it's like i don't know it sounds it sounds i feel lucky i feel like we're doing all right how did you meet your uh significant other i met him he was a tech at uh the lyric hyperion um was how i met him and so i met him like the day he started working there he saw like a show i did and then we were just like friends and then several months after that he like i don't

even i think he like was like a i don't know he was really nervous but he seemed drunk um and he like asked me out after a show and then i uh found out that he was like living there it was it was a whole thing where we went on three dates and i'm like where you know where is your place and he's like hmm there's not it was a more complicated question than i realized it was uh but you know figured that out and yeah we've been together for almost two years now oh that's nice were you on the apps before finding love yeah i was briefly and i sucked at it i'm like so i don't i i don't think i shine on the apps i don't i i didn't crack it fair what was like what were you on were you on bumble raya fucking tindies i was i was just tinder bumble that's it that's all i could take on and it was i don't even know like it was i i don't even know. Like it was, I don't do like app chat well.

I sucked at it. I went on like a couple of dates, all of which were really bad, like bad, bad, bad. And some of them I feel like at the end, I'm like, oh, I think that was my fault that it was bad. I was being like emotionally distant at the fucking tiki place next to the Vista Theater. Like, why did I do that?

But yeah, I did it for a little bit. And then, yeah, a guy that lived in a shed seduced me. I mean, maybe that's what we're all looking for. We're just looking for a guy in a shed to be nice to us. And then we're like, we'll figure out where we'll live together it worked out great but like it does speak to where i was at at the time in terms of feeling hope it's just like yeah the the sweetest cutest uh man that lived in a shed i was like all right i'll i'll get into a serious committed relationship let's see what happens i mean it worked out two years strong

two years strong do you find yourself to be like a serial monogamist have you jumped from relationship to relationship or do you stay single in between people for like an extended amount of time i was like i think when i was like younger i i did serial monogamy but then before this relationship I was single for like two and a half years I was so I was out and about sort of but I would also do like I would go through like three weeks where I would just like fuck everybody and then not have sex for like five months and be totally fine it was just like filling reserves or something and then being like all right i'm good i don't need to see it i don't need to see a dick for five months and that's okay with me oh i mean that's where i'm at right now depending on how long this

lasts it's gonna be so long before i see a dick again and I have cried several times at the thought of that uh I also asked my gay roommate I was like would you fuck me and we like tee hee heed and then I was like but would he fuck me but then I was like I could never it would be no it would be so weird I I've come I've had those discussions as well and then I always but I always I think that I always come on the side of like yeah that would be good and then he's usually like well we've reached

an impasse I'm not going to fuck you I mean truly last night I was like do I risk it all do I go on tinder do i find some shady person who's like yeah come over uh wear a mask whatever i'm like do i do it because there's like a way to have sex without breathing on each other but then apparently you can get it through like sweat i was wondering i'm like are we all become like, I don't know if it was an

episode of True Life or what it was, but I saw something in high school about the people who have sex through balloons. You know those people? No. Sex through balloons? Yeah. I remember it so clearly because it was like, I like just when you're not, you're so not horny, but you're like

fascinated like it's reading a book but yeah there are these people called lunars and they would their whole thing is they would get into like big balloons and like finger each other they're each in the same balloon or they're in different balloons different balloons different balloons and how is the balloon big enough for a person to get in you have to like order them special from like special online stores to get like a person size like i need a six foot tall balloon and then you get in it and then you you can just like touch each other through the balloons i don't they didn't show the actual sex because it was just on mtv

too so i don't know how they how they did it but like yeah it was the lunars i'm like maybe they were ahead of their time but i've never been balloons give me anxiety in general i don't like because sometimes they'll pop yeah well they're like fingering and that's not that's no good i don't want that are they blowing up the balloons but then if you blow it up then it's like firm and you can't finger someone with a firm blown up balloon that's it also like what is the website is it like people fucking balloons.com there i that's one of those things where i'm like how did you find each other but yeah the balloon fetish community is like they're out there yeah

lunars oh i can't that's so upsetting that i remembered that correctly they're called lunars how weird they're called lunars i know i'm like what and also i'm always super i'm like how do you develop a fetish like that is it like a birthday party thing what is it maybe maybe you went to one birthday party and you're like oh my god this is for me this is i don't know if i've talked about this on the podcast but i was watching my strange addiction and this man was dating a bunch of blow up like pool toys oh i've seen that episode yeah yeah he like named them and his friends were very worried about him for good reason.

But he's like, these are the healthiest relationships I've been in. And one popped and he was like mourning that. Yeah. There was like a big dolphin, right? Like there was. Yeah. It was not just people. No, I was like, maybe I should fuck my pool toys.

Maybe my pool toys will bring me joy. And he would like whisper to them. I'm like, what are you whispering to this inanimate object? He can't fucking hear you. I feel like I have been like developing. I don't even know. Just like I feel more attached to the objects in my house than I ever would have under any other circumstances. Like they because they're my I don't know. They're they're my friends now.

I don't know. I guess there's like a no a no no there's nothing in my house that i love enough that i'm gonna fuck oh i don't think i would fuck my items but you know give it a couple weeks we'll see fair that would be a wild confession 10 minutes into the podcast but think about fucking a rug yeah i think about wrapping my rug up and shoving it right inside me. I also watched this clip on House Hunters where this woman was married and had kids and she was like, I'm a mermaid. She didn't think she was a real mermaid,

but she was like one of those mer-people who swims around in a tail. She's a professional one. Yeah, I was like, what a niche niche weird thing for someone to be into and then i was like on what date do you reveal to someone that you're a mer person i feel like you would have to meet that way right like unless that would be a fun secret to keep back it's i mean i don't know i got to the fourth date before he was like i don't have a home you can get pretty deep in yeah I'm four dates is honestly uh pretty that's a lot of dates to not tell someone that you're

homeless or home challenged I'm gonna like okay so he what he his approach and it was pretty smart was he like worked at the theater and And so his whole thing was like, Oh, come to the theater after hours and I'll cook you something. And it'll be, so that's where I was going. I was like, Oh,

that's such a fun, cute thing. Not realizing he lived in the shed at the theater. And that was his last stop for the night. Was this legal? Did they let him do this or he just lived in the shed? No, they knew he lived in the shed. It was,

they don't do it anymore, but there was a, there was just like a weird period of time where he like lived in the shed no they knew he lived in the shed it was they don't do it anymore but there was there was just like a weird period of time where he like lived because he was he had like a very fucked up living situation before that and then they're like all right you can live in the shed get get things figured out and then he moved and uh into like a meth older couple's basement and that was really bad. And then found the man an apartment. Wow. A good project for me. Good project

for Jamie. Very, very good project. But this also is filed away in my stories of even homeless men are having more luck than me. Feels good. Feels fresh. I love it. It's a hot perspective. Yeah, I just find dating to be so I mean, it was exhausting before. And I don't know.

I don't think I can zoom date. I don't know if I've said this yet on the podcast, but like I can't do it because what if someone stands you up and you get dressed up from the waist up, you do your makeup and you're sitting in front of your computer, your whole microphone is set up and you're like, oh my God, I might meet the love of my life via Zoom. And then they don't show up. I would literally kill myself and then

you're just and then you're just alone all not like that yeah that's unacceptable i don't know how people are doing it i know uh my friend andrew is in like a sort of zoom like light relationship like they zoom at like every other night and they have like an agreement. They're like, hey, if we meet after this is all over and we hate each other, no harm, no foul. I'm like, that's, I couldn't do it. I definitely couldn't do it.

No, I couldn't do that either. But then also I think maybe, maybe it's a fun distraction to be like oh i can't wait till 8 30 when i zoom with my internet boyfriend i i don't know it just seems so sad yeah it's we i'm like if it works then great i i don't know it feels kind of like you're a 12-year-old on AOL. Yeah. Age, sex, location, ASL. Yeah, I don't know.

I think I'm just going to stop dating until quarantine ends, but then I don't know when that is. Truly, I just am so frustrated right now. If I were dating right now, I would fully be in the camp of people who are like doing those like park next to each other dates. I think they're very funny. I don't know. I just feel like it's so sad. I like like sitting next to someone.

I like getting the vibe from them. I like, you know, having a drink with someone. It's hard to like you can't get drunk in a car next to each other date and then drive home. I don't know. I would get drunk in my own car outside my own house. I don't know. I would get drunk in my own car outside my own house. I would have like a guy drive to my house, park in my driveway beside my car, and then we would like have our little conversation.

And then I would get drunk and then he's kind of, you know, he's on his own. I mean, I guess I could do that, but it seems slightly irresponsible very true yeah i think i just have to like get with the times and be like dating is fundamentally different now i just truly can't wrap my head around it i i mean just like relating to people at all especially like that whole like the whole thing of like you either have access to sex or you don't is so scary and so sinister like and then you're just like trapped uh i don't know i've never been less horny is my pro like i feel like a lot of people who have access to sex they're like i don't want i'll give it to someone else and then everyone else is dying of being horny there's no answers there truly is no answers it's one of those things where

it's kind of like the grass is greener on the other side because i could be in a relationship i could be quarantined with somebody and i could be miserable but who knows the whole landscape of dating has once again shifted like first it shifted to like oh you meet people online and you see them in person and now it's like you meet them online and who knows you'll never see them so okay you jamie you do stand up um yeah have you well your boyfriend saw you perform and then was like i want to go out with you so are chuckle fuckers like a thing in your life they haven't been um we're actually well i think there was a time yeah there was a time like early in the last time i was single where i'm like yeah sure or but then i think it was worse with just like other comedians which at this point i think i've kicked that habit formally

forever but but it took like for for a like forever to stop doing that um and so yeah dating someone who was like i liked the show was like way way better than uh someone who would also be on the show because it's like i don't know i still like run into exes i don't really want to see and then you just have to be like hi i mean i guess that's not a problem anymore but it was in in the before times i would sometimes run into an ex at a show and it would it would fucking suck yeah it is hard when you date within the community because then you're just like it is my community like i'm gonna see these people all the fucking time at any fucking show i'm at they'll probably show up

and i think in my head i like because i was doing it when i was like 23 i'm like well i'm not gonna see them forever but it truly is forever like it's never gonna stop i'm never gonna stop seeing people who hurt my feelings like years and years ago it's a it's never going to stop. I'm never going to stop seeing people who hurt my feelings like years and years ago. It's a it's a nightmare. Yeah. Unless they quit comedy and move to Idaho, you'll see these people forever. Oh, well, but what what a like exciting idea. If all of my nemesis just quit stand up and move to Idahoaho what a treat that would be for me truly okay we have to take a break so you guys have been dating for like two years have you you said i love you right yes yes when i was like um no we're just kind of taking the temp, seeing how we feel.

Yeah, no, we did. I think this was the first relationship I've ever been in where I said it not first, which felt great. It felt very powerful. When did he say, I love you? He said it, I think he said it like maybe on our like after a month of dating and it was it was confusing to me because i was like this is not an official thing to me yet this we have not had this discussion but he seemed to be he's like just especially when we just like the sweetest person on the face of the earth and i think that like when i like kissed him at the end of the first date he's like well that that's it this is my girlfriend and just like

preceded like that was what was happening which is not how i was thinking of it and so we had to and then he was like i love you i was like hold on like are we are we dating like it was it was I felt so mean like but and but I'd never been in that situation before and then uh you know I caught up and I was like oh okay so so we've been dating for two months you know so when did you say I love you back? I said it, I want to say like a month after he first said it. And I was just like, I need a second. And then we like talked about it. I realized that he was like, you are, I've thought of you as my girlfriend the entire season. And then I thought I cooked on that.

Thought about that. Thought about how I felt about that. And then like a month later, I was like, you win. I love you. Oh, that's sweet.

He's great. I think that's a good lesson to let a man say it for. I don't know. I don't fucking know what anything is anymore. I just know i keep telling people how i feel and they keep going i feel opposite it's opposite day i don't even know how to like there's a version of it where i'm like oh that's nice he said it first and he like you know he waited for me and then in the other way i'm like you know maybe it's just a lesson

about like you should really just let a man wear you down. I don't know. Which is it? I don't know. I keep getting conflicting information from people. They're like, go for the gold. The gold will come to you. I don't know anymore. I sometimes just want to throw in the towel.

Then other times I'm like, can't throw in the towel. You only got one towel. You got to keep doing it. There's only one towel to have. You got't throw in the towel. You only got one towel. You got to keep doing it. There's only one towel to have. You got to cling to the towel. You got to cling to it. Do you have any advice on how to get a date or how I should try to date during this quarantine?

Okay, so you're not into the car idea, the parking idea. No, I'm going to veto that one okay that's fair what else is up your sleeve okay what else we got i fully agree that zoom dating is for like people who just like don't care about sex or i mean i don't know i i guess i've never done well i guess that's a lie i've been in long distance things where we'll just like do like basically we're just both cam girls for free for each other. That's kind of fun. I would recommend now would be I guess it's the only problem is you don't know exactly when it's over. So you can't time in your head, but you can almost time it like you're doing a weird long distance rebound

situation where you're like all right it's going to be too emotionally intense in a way that is like kind of fucked up and then you'll get really horny on your webcam like a few times a week and then all of a sudden six weeks later it just implodes and you hate each other and you never speak again like that this seems like a very well-timed uh thing to be consumed by is just like a a dummy who wants to jerk themselves off on camera i mean i don't know if that would make me happy just to see a dick on camera that i can't have. That's true. I get, yeah. I don't know.

Is there any, do you know anyone who has like left their home to have sex? I feel like if I did know someone who had, they wouldn't have admitted it. Oh, no, absolutely. Nobody would admit right now that they did that. I don't think. But I feel like everyone, I feel like everyone i know is being very

responsible and they're just horny yeah i appreciate that i i like that i think like horny people are gonna like have to unionize after this because there's a lot of like camaraderie and and and shit i don't know i'm i'm kind of curious about like, because no one, I feel like no one is being completely honest with where they're at, like relationship or just like sex in general wise, because everyone's just like, everything's fine. Everything's great.

Everything's fine. But I am curious. I'm like, maybe there should just be like an anonymous tip line of like, but like, because I have like, I don't know, even being in a relationship we're happy i'm great with it but it's still i'm like are people like horny to to have like to have sex

with someone that they stare at 24 hours a day and and i've asked some friends in relationships and they're like oh yeah no we're we're not we're not fucking. I was like, OK, that that gave me some relief. But I don't know. That fucking blows my mind that you would have somebody in your house you could fuck and you're not fucking them. That's stupid. What are you staring at each other and just cooking meal after meal and washing dish after dish and not rubbing your genitals together we've still but it's like i thought that it was gonna go like up you know

like more because like oh we might as well but it's just kind of been like regular but we're around each other three times as much i refuse to learn how to cook in this situation. If I made it this far in life without having to learn how to do anything besides heat something up, I'm not going to do it now. I just, I'm not going to. I don't know what a sourdough starter is. I don't care to know what it is. I'm just not going to let this turn me into a chef. I don't know. That's a real hot take. I've been trying out things. They're not good. Well, a lot of noodles, but I don't cook them all the way because I'm impatient. But I've been making tacos. That's been a nice thing. A little ground turkey, a little tortillas, some lettuce, some tomato and then ranch dressing. I guess it's more of a wrap than

it is a taco. It's definitely a salad in a tortilla. It's a wrap. I'm not eating tacos. It sounds good, though. I grew up strong into dressing from a really dressing heavy family and i've been like getting back into dressings like where i just have a dressing with whatever i'm eating just to make it taste more like something because i can't cook for shit i mean i love ranch ranch is my number one go-to dipping thing. You could put anything in ranch. Chicken, fucking turkey, anything. Anything goes with ranch. I've got three active bottles of Caesar in the fridge.

It's just, I've got that. I've got the barbecue sauce for anything that comes up. I've got a vinaigrette if I'm feeling light and feminine. I've got a vinaigrette if I'm feeling, you know, light and feminine. There's a dressing for every, like, arguably more than there is, like, food that is eatable. Fair. I mean, although I am doing a fancy dinner tonight with my roommate and his boyfriend. So that should be nice. We're going to dress up and make steaks.

That's so nice oh my gosh how is is the has the home vibe with self-quarantine been good is everyone like happy yeah it's like a nice vibe we uh have we did a little lip sync uh and we posted that online that was pretty early in the quarantine and i was like i think i'm going crazy and then i was like oh my god that was a fucking month ago i cannot believe we're still inside a month later so we might do another one who fucking knows anymore it does like i i just have i i've lost all concept of time i can just tell like around what time it was based on how positive i was feeling at the time i was like oh first two weeks i was like yeah let's let's do a zoom show yeah that would that's gonna

be great like just like organizing shit uh and and now i'm just like consumed with dread and just scrolling emptily looking for looking for something to care about that steak dinner sounds lovely I cannot wait how have zoom shows been they have been I don't know I feel like that this was just like a really good time to already

know how to stream stuff which I didn't I feel like those are the like those are the main shows that have been a good time is like when the person in charge already knows it, but when it's just like, Oh, we're all going to do stand up to our webcam to an audience of question

mark. Um, that feels real bad. Um, so it's been mixed. I don't know. Fair. Yeah.

I haven't done one yet. i don't know if i will because much like dating i think stand-up is more of an in-person thing i agree it has become if it wasn't obvious already it is very clear to me now uh i'm something i like that like people are trying different stuff out but in terms of like i don't know i i i respect the hell out of anyone who can just like stare into their phone and be like all right here's my half hour but um that person is not me yeah it's not me either but you know that's okay there's something for everybody to do tasks do you remember your like first boyfriend oh my god yes i i've been thinking about him a lot recently because uh because he i found out

that he's getting married and he's like the first i, like major boyfriend I had that is getting married. And so I found his wedding registry and I've been like, I've had the tab open for so long. I OK, I guess I want your opinion on this because I like it's been a mix. I think it would be very funny for me to buy something off the registry. funny for me to buy something off the registry and because we haven't we haven't spoken not like we weren't on bad terms but just like we have zero things in common anymore uh but we haven't spoken in like seven or eight years and i was like i should just get he has like a tp on his wedding registry he and he like lit there's no no reason i can think of why he would need it what he would want it for also completely i have no idea but i'm like what if

i just like bought him the teepee i think you should do it i say why not um it might be a very silly thing where he's like oh yeah jam yeah, Jamie, the girl I used to date, my first girlfriend is sending me off to my last girlfriend with a teepee. Right. I also think that realistically, no one else is going to buy them that teepee. Like no one is going to go on a wedding registry and like want that to be their gift. So I think I might go for it. Yeah.

But I was I was thinking about him uh because of that but yeah it was just like a boy i met in band in high school oh that's cute what instrument did you play i was uh an oboe girl all the way which i think has carried me through life interesting I've heard of horse girls I've never heard of an oboe girl uh oboe girls I feel like there is overlap with horse girls but not me I'm not I'm not a horse girl but I am a full-on oboe girl I don't even know how to like just they're just like they kind of suck but they're ultimately fun they're not like i mean flute girls that's a whole thing i wanted to be a flute girl so badly but i knew that i didn't have what it took um but oboe girls it's

just like you're like my mom was just like uh we don't have any money and this is the instrument that people get a scholarship with so this is so here here it is did you get a scholarship with it no that was horrible so it ended up being just kind of you know nine years that i spent but it did get me my first boyfriend so not for nothing it did kind of work out in a way for him he's gonna get a free fucking tp in a couple months i usually ask all of my guests this question but would you date me absolutely i would date you oh thank you so much the question of how is like is is the real question mark here how would anyone date anyone at this time but yeah absolutely, thank you.

So we've come to the end. Do you want to promote anything? Oh, yeah. Just listen to the Bechdel cast. New episodes come out every Thursday and it's a feminist movie podcast. Yes, I was on it and I talked about Ghost,

which is my favorite movie of all time. If you like this episode of Why won't you date me you can subscribe you can like it you can give it five stars if you dm me or email me um or leave it on the the apple podcast thing you can write a nasty thing hitting on me and i will read it this person said firstly i'm gonna lather all your parts in sardine juice because nothing turns this merman on more. Then I will proceed to gently slide your slippery scales onto your new custom built fish tank. Next, I'll get out a couple of cans of the finest tuna fish and proceed to fill your vagina. Ew.

Oh, my. With the tuna and pickle bits. Hold the mayo. I'll provide that if you know what I mean. Ew. I'll fill you so full. Your gills are bursting at the seams. The transformation is almost ready,

but before that, I'll have to drain your sweet red mackerel of all that juicy tuna with my mouth. Ew. Of course. Once you're nice and cleaned out, the transformation will be complete. And you can join me in our sea of wonder and delight. That one is fucking tough.

How wild. What a full-blown nightmare. Pickle bit. This is worse than the man who said he wanted to turn me upside down and fill me with clam chowder this person has surpassed it how awful god that pickle bits is really where i lost i lost it the pickle bits is bad i always i also was picturing that scene at the end of little women where sersha ronan is frantically writing for days on end. That's how I picture that man writing that. Just by candlelight over the course of six months.

I've never seen Little Women. I probably never will. I'm not interested in small women's problems. It's fine. It's not that great. But there is a long scene of writing by candlelight which i'm assuming is how all these guys write this well thank you so much jamie for being my guest thank you for having me this is so fun yes yes yes okay bye This has been a Team Coco production.