Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Secrets To a Long, Loving Marriage (w/ John Leguizamo)

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

Actor John Leguizamo (Encanto, Moulin Rouge!, Ice Age) chats with Nicole about his secrets to a long, loving marriage, how he balances work and relationships, and his efforts to boost Latin representation in media.  Write something dirty to Nicole! Submit your dirty pick-up lines, dating stories, or questions to [e-mail] for a chance to have it read on-air. Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Oh baby! Welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcast where me and Nicole Byer used to try to figure out why I was still single. But I've done the podcast for so long and I haven't gotten the answers.

So now I'm just trying to figure out what is love and why I don't have it. Okay, my guest today is an Emmy and Tony Award winning actor, writer, and comedian that you know from movies like Moulin Rouge, Encanto, Ice Age, the original Super Mario Brothers movie, Romeo and Juliet. Now he stars in Leguizamo Does America, a six-part docuseries exploring Latin history on MSNBC. Ooh, I'm so excited to have John Leguizamo! What's up, what's up, what's up?

How you doing, Nicole? I'm good. How are you? This is delightful. Now that I'm talking to you, I feel better. I'm doing much better. Thank you so much for doing this. Oh, I also forgot to say, you're into Wong.

Thanks for the memories, Julie Newmar, which is one of my favorite movies. I do. I love that flick. You know, a lot of teenagers, trans teenagers, LGBTQ teenagers come up to me and they go, thank you for the movie. It gave me the courage to come out to my parents and it made me feel, you know, beautiful about myself. Oh, that's so sweet. But also, that's the power of you, John.

Oh, is it now? It is. Okay. I have a question. Oh, married are you dating or are you like don't want to say um i'm married oh for how long oh my god we've been married for 20 20 years that's a long time what is the secret years in hollywood years that's a hundred years that's a long time what is the secret in Hollywood years in Hollywood years that's a hundred it really is like a hundred thousand years in Hollywood yeah what is the secret to like a long luscious delicious marriage well there's a lot of secrets

there's a lot there's a there's a lot of it because you know you you got to be in it for the long haul. You got to enjoy fighting a little bit. Because you're going to fight. And if you enjoy that, then you're going to enjoy a lot of things. And you got to be best friends with your partner, your wife, your husband. You got to be best friends because, you know, love is love, but you need the friendship part. Otherwise, it doesn't last.

I think the friendship is everything. I think so, too, because you have to, like, like your partner. I have so many friends who I'm like, I don't think you like each other. Maybe you fuck good, but, like, I don't think fundamentally you like each other. Like, you want to go to a picnic or anything. You're like, uh-uh. Right, right. And that's not enough. It's not enough because you got to be able to hang and be together and go on trips.

And we make sure we do all that stuff. We make sure we go everywhere and do things together because if you don't spend time together, you just, you know, naturally grow apart. I mean, that's the secret of growing apart. Yeah, just don't do shit together. Yeah, yeah. There's lots of great secrets for breaking up and ruining your relationship. I think we could, yeah, we got secrets for that too.

How did you guys meet? Well, we met on a movie, Carlitos Way, back in the day. My wife was working in costumes. I was Benny Blanco from the Bronx. And she asked to be my personal dresser. And we met at the corner of 42nd and 9th Avenue near where I lived and where the costumer, we were going to do the costume fitting. And she showed up and it was magic. It was electric.

Oh, that's so nice. And it's one of those stories that like, I will never be able to recreate. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's just like you meet and then you love each other and then it's magic. Well, it wasn't love.

It wasn't love. I mean, you don't look at somebody and go, that's love. Although she says, my wife says, she knew when she met me that first day that we were gonna be together forever I I mean I didn't feel that I felt like wow I was like wow who is she I gotta know her I gotta I gotta I gotta be with her you know I felt those things and then pretty soon when we started

spending time together I was like wow this is the most incredible person I've ever been with I never felt like this before I never felt so you know safe and whole and cool and you know just a lot of things John that is so sweet I love that so much okay so like when did you know you were in love and like when did you say I love you oh she says what we see we argue about this is the part of the argument I told you about but she says that she was the first one to say i love you and i thought i was the person to say i love you and when i said i what i thought my version is i said i love you and she goes thank you and i went oh okay you welcome and i was like wait a minute and she said thank you for a long long time till she finally but she says is the opposite she said she said it to me in a parking lot somewhere

and I didn't respond, that I acted like I didn't hear it. Maybe that's true because I don't remember that, so maybe I didn't hear it. That would be funny if you, like, if, like, you said it to her first,

she didn't answer, and then she started saying it, and then you started saying thank you. It's like, it's just very funny. It's like, somebody didn't say it, so I'm just going to say thank you from now on. Yeah, yeah, thank you. Every time you hear somebody say I love you, thank you as like, it's just very funny. And it's like, somebody didn't say it. So I'm just going to say thank you from now on. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. We have to hear somebody say, I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. That's very kind of you. Thank you for that. Your kindness overwhelms me. So wait 20 years. So you've never been on like apps or

anything. God bless. Yeah, no, I never did. I never, I, yeah, right. I was taken out of the app situation. But a lot of my friends do the apps and they tell me what are the best ones for the crazy day. Yeah, it's pretty wild. The app situation. Yeah, I hate it. I've been on them since they since they started and I still haven't found anyone. OK, John, what advice would you have for someone who is single and looking and just not having a good time? Wow. What would I tell? I mean, you got to hang out. I mean, that's the old school method.

That's the analog method where you went to bars, restaurants, many parties. You just made yourself present and available everywhere because that maximizes your opportunities. So you had to go to bars. You had to go to clubs. You had to just be everywhere and keep meeting and dating until the right person comes along. And until you find the right person, it's a lot of fun too.

God, but that cuts into my couch time i love being at home no you can't you can't do both you can't you can't look for love and be at home watching you know watching whatever you're watching i know i gotta get out there you gotta go out there so what's a good thing to say to someone? Say, okay, I see somebody. I think they're cute. Like, how should I hit on them? By not obviously hitting on them. Obviously, that was like the old, old guys, you know. You know, I used to hear my friends, you know, God, your hair is beautiful.

God, you're beautiful. You know, it can't be so obvious anymore. Or your hair smells great. You know, remember the perfume? The perfume lines? And you're like, those can't I can't be so obvious anymore. Are you are your hair smells great? You remember the perfume, the perfume lines and the like, those aren't allowed anymore. So you got to I think you've got to talk about other things. I think you've got to just strike up a conversation. Like whether depending where you are, where you're at, you know, if you're at a at a club, isn't that song banging? Isn't that cool?

You know, you know, talk about other things and just strike up conversation just keep that that uh conversation going honestly i don't think anyone's ever given me that advice i feel like everyone's like oh you know comment on their hair whatever but like a conversation where it's just like about nothing because then they're just like is she hitting on me right so i think she's into me ah so you're saying trick them. No, no, it's not trick. It's not about tricking. It's just don't be, you can't be obvious. But if you're talking to somebody and trying to make a conversation, I mean, it's obvious.

You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. It's without being so, you know, corny or a dog or, you know. Mm-hmm. All right. And I think I could get into that. When did you propose to your wife? Do you remember your proposal?

Not really, but I'm going to make it up. Like, I'm going to act like I do. Yeah, I can't remember exactly how it happened. I wish I did. I know I spent a lot of time getting her the ring and all that, and I made sure I got her some. It was a beautiful antique ring from the early 1900s, and it was simple and pretty little diamonds,

but nothing in platinum, something almost Victorian. Yeah, I can't remember exactly. But we had kids already. So we had two kids. And I think my oldest kid, my daughter, was three years old by then. And my son was one. And I felt like I had to make an honest woman out of her. You know, it would be good for the kids. And, yeah, I mean, it felt like it was the right thing.

You know, I just, I had been divorced right when I met my wife. So this is my second marriage. Ooh, I want a second marriage. I want my first one too. I just want to collect gentlemen. And I think that's a fun thing.

Are you from New York? Do it, do it. Yeah, I'm from New York. I'm from Jackson Heights. as my wife calls me, Bridge and Tunnel. Wait, Jackson Heights is Queens? Queens, Queens, yeah. Queens in the house.

Growing up in Queens, was it like easy to date, hard to date? Were you like the man in high school? That smile's telling me yes. I did all right yeah yeah yeah I mean I was out on the street all the time I was in the street I was at all the dance all the house parties I was I was always everywhere and so yeah I had a lot of opportunities and uh I dated a lot yeah I started young. You know, I started when I was like, I guess, 12.

12? Yeah. Because you used to have slam books. I don't know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We had slam books, too. You like write shit about your friends. Right, right.

And you go, you know, I like her. Number five. Can we meet in the back classroom? Can we meet? Can we get a hall pass and i'll meet you outside yeah we used to do all that until you know started making out and all that and and other other extracurriculars i love it how scandalous i didn't know guys had slam books i thought that was like exclusively a like a pre-teen no no no it was for the whole class that's how you

that's how you that's how you linked up with the girls the girls was started yeah very very smart and a very organized system and like good you know you know the ghetto has a lot of uh great things you got to be organized because you don't got anything else I mean what else you got you at least be organized I think that. I think you're honestly correct. When people have very little, they figure out a way to do shit and get shit done. And honestly, slam buck. I think that's a good way to get shit done.

Oh, yeah. You get done. For real. How did you get into acting? Well, you know, I was a problem child, always in trouble. into acting well you know i was i was a problem child kind of always in trouble and uh you know my my household was kind of uh there was a lot of a lot of uh domestic violence in my household and my parents were immigrants and they had so much pressure and ptsd from um you know coming to a whole new country without any support group and and all the pressure all that so I live

for humor and comedy comedy was my everything it was like it kept me sane it kept me from getting beat up on the streets um and and and so I started doing a lot of you know I would make fun of people I would do voices characters I did everything I I did everything and everywhere. And so I became very popular and that flipped my whole world. But then I started becoming disruptive in the class because I loved the comedy too much, more than the lessons. And school was my, like theater,

it was like my captive audience. So I was looking forward to every day of school because now I had a big crowd and the teachers didn't dig that. So one, my math teacher, Mrs. Zuffa, said finally, you know, Mr. Lusquizamo, if they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can make something out of you, Mr. Lusquizamo.

And that, you know, why don't you use your comedy for better purposes than disrupting the class? Why don't you take an acting class or become a comedian? And so I was like, yeah, yeah maybe maybe that's the thing and and so i it finally struck me and i was like wow maybe there is a thing so back in those days i went into yellow pages and uh that's like google today and and i found this acting school because it said civilly showcase theater and i said showcase wow that's for me.

I deserve a showcase. So I showed up in this little old lady in a tiny little apartment on 57th Street on 10th Avenue, as I used to talk. 10th Avenue. And I went in there. And I started taking acting class. She said my accent was abominable. She says, I can't understand a word you're saying.

Your accent is sick. And I did. I mean, I used't understand the word you're saying. Your accent is sick. And I did. I mean, I used to talk like that, like this, you know, that's how I talk. I was like very kind of street hoodie kind of.

I was like, you know, that's how I talk like that. But now you can hear my. Now I hear a true blue thespian. There's a very well rounded tones in my voice. I'm very, very articulate. i like that a

teacher was the one who was like i see your talent do something with it because i feel like a lot of times teachers are like focused on like the academics of it all or like shut up and be quiet but it was just it's nice to hear that someone was like oh no you you are meant to do this so i think you should like i think i feel like more teachers should you are meant to do this so i think you should like i think i feel like more teachers should be more encouraging yeah i i agree i mean teachers are such an important part of a kid's life they're with you like you know like 10 hours a day whatever it is in school uh you know teachers just need to get paid more you know that's they found it the secret weapon to making great schools and and and smart kids is put money into public schools.

Put more money, you get more bang for your buck. Yeah. So, okay. Speaking of school, you went to Tisch. Eventually, I went to Tisch because I was failing out of high school. So when I realized I had to apply for college because I didn't want to go to college. I just wanted to act. But I was a Latin guy, so it was like I had no opportunities. But my parents were like, you have to go to school.

You can't live in this house until you go to college. So I was like, all right, all right, I'll try. So when I started applying, no one would accept me because I had terrible grades. Except one school school CW Post and they took me I guess it's the lowest rated it was the lowest graded rated college at the time in the Barron's book just fine with me but I loved it I loved it there and I and I was I I really changed my whole life there because these teachers were passionate it was a boutique college

mm-hmm they really got turned on by what they were teaching and I got turned on and then I I was like let me I got so turned on I was like let me go to a better school sorry education thing I really like this this is hot oh let me do it let me do it let me do it somewhere else NYU so I went to NYU Tisch School of the Arts, yeah. And then what was Tisch like? So were you the only Latin student in your class or was there other ones? It was just you. I was always the only Latin person in my acting classes at CW Post, at NYU. Yeah, it was crazy. I mean, it was wild because by the time I time I got to NYU I mean I was very um idealistic and believed in meritocracy and that you know you worked hard and and and you

got A's and and and talent would win out but I started soon I started to realize that America doesn't really work like that because I was like I'm in a class with these kids, you know, and, you know, some of them are famous, Andrew McCarthy and D.B. Sweeney, and they're going to like five auditions. I hear them talking about going to five auditions a day, every day. And I'm like going to one audition every five months and for a drug dealer, a murderer, a killer, or some kind of subservient job kind of part.

And then when I would look at the casting breakdown, I don't know if you're aware, a casting breakdown is like what roles are available that are, you know, what movies are they casting? And it was like Jim Crow. It was like white actor, white doctor, white romantic lead, white and then, you know, eventually be like a latin drug

dealer you know and and and then you could ask i would ask my agent can i just do my monologue for them can i just audition they wouldn't see you they wouldn't even see you because i i was a latin dude and i realized pretty quickly on that wow it's not gonna be uh it's not a fair yeah it's not gonna be a fair play field you know yeah so do you feel like you're successful in spite of and not because of like did you have anyone championing for you or was it like you grinding and grinding and grinding and being like look at me this is what i can do i'm incredible well you know i i was luckily i was in acting classes. And so that was fair, you know, I mean, because I got to act and I could see, oh, wow, I had I had talent, you know, I mean, and so I was basically that's where I kept myself going was in my acting class because I could do and rock. And then I knew. So that gave me the self-confidence. I mean, the only problem was that regardless if I had great talent, they weren't going to cast you.

That was the problem. So then I pretty soon started going towards performance art spaces and comedy clubs where it was more fair. I mean, it was a much more fair playing field because it was about laughs. And you can measure that. You know what I mean? And if you can measure laughs, then you get called back. And then you get moved to an earlier slot.

And then you get a better playing slot. So that's how I started working my way up. When you were, like, playing in clubs and stuff, did you ever run into chuckle fuckers? Which is somebody who is chasing around comedians trying to fuck them? No. Really? No, because I went there with my girlfriend, mostly. Oh, okay.

So they were like, all right, he's taken. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I saw a lot of chuckle fuckers for my girlfriend, though. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Like, Ronnie Daniel Fields started hitting her up, and I'm going, excuse i'm right here hello you're spoken for that's wild and then he's like come on can i get some respect i can't get none i can't get none around here hey hey what's going on here

god that's so funny um what do you consider your like big break? What is the thing? So I know you had your television debut in Miami Vice, but do you think that's the thing that like started everything? Like, what do you consider your big break that you were like, oh, I'm so happy I got this? Well, you know, the Miami Vice was important. I guess it was this student film, this student film in NYU that won the Spielberg Award and all these awards. And I was the second lead in it and and then that got me an agent because you know it was impossible to get an agent back then and in the short got me an agent and that got me Miami Vice Miami was my first check so I could eat because I was I was dying of hunger and I was I was like I think I weighed 139 pounds, whatever. I was dying of hunger for real.

And Miami Vice, you know, got me some cash and that gave me such a boost of confidence. But I think the thing that really changed my life was my first one-man show. When I did Mambo Mouth in 1990, all of a sudden, you know, that changed my life. I mean, I was getting offered TV shows. I was getting offered movies.

I was getting offered a lot of things, small-time stuff. I got offered Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but I turned it down because back then it was weird. You were taught from your acting classes that great actors didn't do TV. You did theater and movies. Yeah. There's Arthur Miller, one of the greatest playwrights,

F might show. Oh, that's cool. And Al Pacino and Johnny K junior and Sam Shepard. I mean, it was incredible because that's what the New York times in New York, the power it had back in the day. Like if you've got a great review for,

for, for theater critic, you were made. That's so cool. That's like, I don't know, it's like validation. You put a lot of work into something, and then someone sees and they're like, no, no, this is actually good, and you should come see it.

And then people listen, and they come, and then magical things happen. Like, that's just, I like hearing when people work hard and then get a reward do you know what i mean right right right yeah that that did but because it doesn't always happen there's lots of people who i know work really hard and are still struggling i don't know yeah i mean i i was relentless i was uh not gonna take no for an answer from anybody i was gonna keep going no matter what. Somehow,

I believed in myself strongly. I'm not sure where I got that self-confidence. I guess it was from my school and my neighborhood. I knew from the validation I got from the laughs from my friends that I had something and that kept me going for years and years. My friends from high school still

take credit for it. They go, Oh, we made you. That's why you're here. Because credit for it. They go, oh, we made you. That's why you're here. Because we posted you. That's why your ass is over there. Because of us. I love when people are like, I did that. And it's like, did you?

I'm the one who did the work. I'm the one who did it. Sure, you said a couple of things. I think the thing I really appreciate you is how vocal you are for the Latin community and representation and whatnot. Because it's still not where it needs to be. And there's a lot of Latin people in the in the United States. There's also a lot of black people and that representation is not where it needs to be.

It's truly wild. I mean, clearly it's better than it was like when you were starting out, but it's still not where it needs to be. And I don't know how you fix that. I yeah, the fix is the trickier part, but I think you got to be vocal. You got to constantly keep, you got to be a pain in the ass. I mean, you can't stop demanding representation, fair representation, and you got to come up with different ways to annoy them. And that's what I do. That's what I do. I'm not going to shut up until we have 20% representation in front of the camera, behind the camera, corporate-wise, executive-wise. I'm just not going to shut up because I feel like I'm fighting for this movement, and I feel like it's getting some heat in it, and we're getting more organized, and we're getting better organized. And we're getting more organized and we're getting better organized.

You know, we're fighting for a Latino museum in the mall. And we got it through Congress and the Senate. And then some Republicans won't let us be on the mall. They want us to be like miles away. Like, I was like, we're not going to have a museum miles away because then it's like, what's the point? Nobody's going to go. What's the point? Yeah. We got to be on the mall. so we're fighting that. So I think it's taking out,

this whole movement is getting steam. I got Saul Trujillo, this great millionaire activist. He's getting all the Latin data and holding corporations to like, you said you were going to have increased representation in your corporate board, but you didn't increase it by any percentage this year. I think that's great like somebody has to do it and i'm glad that you are doing the work because it is important it's representation matters like i remember coming up and like queen latifah on living single was very inspirational to me i was like this woman looks a little bit like me whooping over looks like me and i was like oh so like things are possible and i can do shit yep because that's that's a signal that's a signal that you get i mean plato said it he said he said he who could he who controls the storytelling controls society and if you're not part of the storytelling how are you going to

inspire the millions of latin and black kids out there how are they going to see because not everybody's strong like us like you and me nico they don't have that that get up and go and get it no matter what the fuck yeah some people aren't born with the drive real quick john we have to take a break okay Okay. And we're back. Okay. I want to get back to love. What does love mean to you?

What does love mean to me? Love mean to me? Well, a lot of hugging, kissing, smooching. Yeah. Yeah. cuddling. I love all that stuff. That's the stuff I love, you know. And then, you know, be able to be together. Be able to be together and talk about stupid shit and enjoy the conversation and laugh.

I mean, we laugh a lot, my wife and I. We crack up, crack each other up. That I fucking love. All I want is to be in a relationship with someone who's like down to clown. Like if i want is to be in a relationship with someone who's like down to clown like if i want to moonwalk in a target like i don't want you to get mad at me i want you to like fucking be like hey like i want you to like have fun with me like that's i think the basis of like a good relationship is like do you make each other laugh y'all don't

even know you don't have to be funny people it's just do you make each other laugh like do you bring joy out of each other and do you support each other's joy i mean because like what you said moonwalk into somewhere or or jump into a water fountain or you know do crazy things yeah meet me halfway be a little lunatic with me right right what do you think is the most romantic thing you and your wife have done? Oh, wow. We've done some romantic. I think this past year, because I was away a lot, I felt like I owed her some kind of romantic excursion. So we went to Rome and Paris because Paris is her favorite spot.

And Rome, I was dying to figure out if I liked it or not. And so we did. And we went and we had a great amazing time we had an incredible time we just you know every meal together walking and taking insights and laughing we had a great time oh I love that just going overseas to a beautiful country with the person you love. That sounds delightful. I've never been on like a vacation with a, like a boyfriend or anything or a partner. And I think that would be really fun. I think you're going to love it. I think because,

because you're out of your element, you're both not, you know, stuck with your, your, whatever jobs you're doing. You're not responding to emails and phone calls. You're disconnected. And now you get to be you, you get to be the, all doing, you're not responding to emails and phone calls, you're disconnected.

And now you get to be you, you get to be all you, you know? Yeah. John, so how do you balance work and having a relationship? Because you work a lot. So how do you do that? I mean, it was tricky when we had kids. I mean, because before we had kids, my wife would travel with me and we would go so it was easy because she she everywhere i went she had friends everywhere and she'd hang out with all kinds of people and i'd get to hang out with her friends and it was a blast um and then when we had kids it got tricky especially because um we were told by by the school principal who was who was right he said every time you pulled the kid out you're giving them the message that school doesn't matter and i was like oh damn hmm

she's gonna write those actor kids that drop out of school all kinds of trouble and problems so i was like all right you can't we can't travel with the kids anymore because we were doing that i was traveling they were traveling the whole family was traveling with me and it was great for me but i i didn't want to wreck my kids so yeah so then i had to slide stop taking as many movies i had to like be more selective because i did love to work but then i was like i got i got to be there i got to be a present dad because you know how hollywood kids turn out because of because of neglect you know they just turn out bad and wrong and i didn't want that i really didn't want that.

I mean, that makes sense. And I that is nice that you like recognize you're like, oh, I need to be more present. So that means working a little bit less. Yeah. And yeah, I think that's I think that's important. I think it's like you can work, but also make time for the things that are important in your life and which is your family. Yeah. I mean, having kids for me was everything you know it was an honor to that that got these kids and i i i wanted to really rise the occasion because you know my father wasn't the best father in the world so i i had feel like i had to make up for that you have two kids two kids yes a daughter and a son okay which one's your favorite i'm kidding yeah yeah yeah i know you you must be um can i ask when you took to wong fu was there because i what was that that was like 90

90 94 94 yeah yeah yeah so like did you feel any hesitation with playing a drag queen in a movie in 94? No, I didn't. I didn't. I wonder if Wesley and Patrick did, but they didn't act like they did either, which was pretty incredible back in 94. I mean, I saw mine as an opportunity. I was like, I'm going to destroy this role. I'm going to crush this motherfucker.

This is my opportunity i'm gonna seize this sucker and and i did i mean i had this incredible drag queen friend that uh larissa dumont who like gave me lines taught me how to talk do the whole thing and i just usurped her personality and made it chichi rod. Rodriguez. I love that. Little Latin boy in a dress. I think it's so funny that like now in 2023, I feel like it would be a big deal that like three straight men or whatever signed up to do a movie where they're playing drag queens. And I think that's wild. You wouldn't be.

You couldn't do that. I don't think you could do that. We shouldn't do that now. I mean, if 2023. No, I guess not. You should have real. Yeah don't think you could do that. We shouldn't do that now. I mean, if 2023. No, I guess not. You should have real drag queens playing drag queens. But I will say it was fun to watch the three of you in drag as people that I was like, never would have thought you would be in drag. I don't know.

I loved it. I thought it was such a fun movie. I loved it, too. And obviously people loved it all around the world. I mean, because, you know, as I told you, I didn't realize that I had become an LGBTQ icon. As Chichi Rodriguez. And so it was impactful in a lot of ways. It's so interesting, you know?

Even though we were three straight guys, I think we did the characters with as much respect as we could, you know, and gave them dignity. And I think that's what people respond to. We weren't, we weren't, uh,

it wasn't a caricature and you weren't making fun of anybody, nobody or putting anybody down. Yeah. I feel like that movie is a good example when people are like, kids shouldn't see drag things. I'm like, I don't know. This movie is about drag Queens and it's like pretty wholesome. It's it's like yeah it's incredibly like clean up a town and it's like nice and

empower a woman who's being abused yeah it's like just it's a nice a nice story um when you did romeo and juliet had you done shakespeare before i had wrecked shakespeare before but i had done it incorrectly but but i had done it i had done uh with um uh joe morton and um uh i had done it uh at the public theater i had done puck in midsummer night's dream and i was terrible it was terrible well i was terrible terrible because i was method and i was like trying to put method into Shakespeare. And I was playing practical tricks on everybody, being really annoying. I put itching powder in their underwear. And I got reported to equity and fine.

Yeah, I was not easy to be around. God, that's really funny. Just a mischievous little book. Putting itching powder in the underwear i thought that was funny i mean i do think it's funny would i think it's funny if i put on my underwear and i was like the fuck i wouldn't think that was very funny i'd be like okay we gotta get rid of this person for real for real god that's so funny um that movie is so well done specifically because i had i think that movie came out i was still in school and 96 97 yeah i hadn't really been

exposed to shakespeare at that point and then i watched it and i was like oh oh it makes sense and then i started reading it and it made a little less sense. And then I was like, oh. And then someone was like, Shakespeare is meant to be watched. It's not meant to be read. So then I started reading it out loud when I would read it. And that was so helpful.

But yeah, Shakespeare is so, it's just pretty. It's pretty to listen to. And then the stories are tragic. Yeah, yeah. But they're great. He had some magic. I mean, he did know what he was doing.

I mean, but I agree. I'm like you. It took me forever to like Shakespeare. And I think it was a Zeffirelli, Romeo and Juliet. I mean, I guess the most accessible for young people because it's romance and love till you're dead, you know, basically. And everybody dies. And they're also the shorter versions you know uh as lermons is is like reduced you know it's like short attention span shakespeare

i mean that's just kind of how i want to see it one of my favorite adaptations is she's the man it's essentially oh yeah yeah yeah it's so funny and how and breaking bad is is is mcbeth and and lion king is hamlet i mean come on it's it they're really important stories to borrow and use for other you know dip in dip out just be like you know a little hint to hammy here um what is something that like you want like what is like an acting goal like what is something you want to do next i i want to do some some broadway like in real plays not real plays my plays were real too but uh you know with an ensemble cast or the cast not one man shows yeah you're not one way it shows i want to do it you know i want to spread the work around what play what is your ultimate play to do mine's who's afraid of virginia wolf and i gotta get oh i love that yeah yeah i want to play martha so bad oh i'd love to see you as martha gotta age 20 30 years yeah yeah you got to get a little

life experience in you um i i love uh long day's journey tonight i love um uh speed the plow by david mamet i like anything by david mamet Mamet's great. Yeah, some Sam Shepard I like to do. I like the edgier stuff. I'm here for it. I want to see it. From your lips to God's ears. Here we go. We have to take, well, just another break.

All righty. We're back. Okay, so the advice, we got to get back to love. It's a love podcast. Okay, but yeah, yeah. Come on, what are we doing? So, well, I'm a very big fan of yours and I'm so interested about your career

because it's just, it spans so many different genres and like the menu was so good. You were so good in that. Oh, thank you, thank you. A nuanced performance, but you were doing so much and so little at the same like the menu was so good you were so good in that oh thank you thank you a nuanced performance but you were doing so much and so little at the same time it was great anyway um so the advice you gave me is to get out of my house to meet somebody what other advice do you have um what other advice be friendly okay i think i think just being friendly is like a like a sexual magnet i think it's like an aphrodisiac you know i think it works i mean i was always like hyper friendly and to you

know and people come to you all right just be friendly these are all super friendly super friendly like you know to everyone because you never know where the magic's gonna happen you're right i like this advice just like go out and be nice yeah right how novel how unique it seems easy enough, I think I can do that. Be nice. Don't hit on people. Go out. Okay.

Because it takes the pressure off of you too. I mean, if you're going, I got to score. You know, I got to take some home when I go. It's going to be a pressurized situation. You're right. Are your kids of dating age? Are they dating right now? Oh, yeah, yeah. My kids are dating.

Yeah, they're both in love. Really? Yeah, yeah. Wow. Oh, my. Did they take your advice? Were they just nice and out there? Yeah, yeah.

But, you know, it's interesting because I told my daughter, I said, you know, I was like, I don't know, I guess I was saying the opposite thing that people used to say back in the day. Like, a man does not complete you. You don't need a man to make you whole. It was just different advice. And I think my daughter takes it. She very much owns herself and doesn't need a man. And when a man comes into her life and she's in love, it's a whole different thing. I think that's even better advice.

You don't need a man. Right, right. I fundamentally understand that, but I'm like, I just want one. I don't need one. I just want one. I just want one real bad, please. Tell me a little bit about Leguizamo Does America. All right. So I pitched this for six years and nobody got it until a Latin executive, Cesar Conde, the chair of NBC and Rashida Jones, the first black executive at NBC.

We pitched them. They loved it, green-lit it, and gave us the opportunity. And I go around America to the cities that I used to go on my Latin comedy tour. We used to call it the Arroco Pollo Comedy Circuit. I know pollo is chicken? Yeah, rice and chicken, rice and chicken. The rice and chicken comedy circuit, which is 20 big cities across America that are really big and super huge Latin populations. And so we started with the first six cities, and I go looking for Latin excellence and Latin exceptionalism and writers, painters, politicians, activists.

painters politicians activists and we sit down we drink we laugh we eat delicious latin food and we dance oh that sounds like fun also wild that you had to pitch that for six years and it only came to fruition when there was a latin executive who was like oh i see the vision i get it right i think that's why it's so important that like i think the only way change will happen is if change happens at the top and the people making decisions look like the people who are pitching them things because otherwise it's like they don't get it and then they're just like no let's pass and it's like yeah but you're passing on something that might be really incredible yeah i mean we latin people and black people win where they are metrics like in sports you know like latin people we are metrics like in sports, you know, like Latin people.

We're killing it in baseball because you got stats. We're killing it in music. I mean, Latin music is the biggest thing in the world again for the 50th time in this hundred years. But it's because you have scans and you can measure that where it's an exact where it's up to an executive's taste and opinion, that's when we lose. Because how do I download a guy in 20 minutes about our 500 years of history in America? How do I download you about, you know, that we discovered America, that we've been here, we didn't just get it, we've been here for 500 years. You know, we built this country just like black people and in a different way, obviously. And we're oppressed and and we still contribute hugely to america how do i do that in in 20 minutes you can't and so unless the

executives look like us we're not going to see the progress that we deserve and that's that's where i want the change to happen the most now is I want 20%. We're glad people are 20% of the population, almost 20% of the population. I want 20% of the executives. That's what I'm, that's what I'm after now. I, it's a good goal. Cause it makes sense. It's a, it's just, it's interesting.

Cause like sometimes you'll get a note on a script and you're like, ah, you just don't get it. Cause you don't see the point of view that I'm trying to show you. And I could, and then like sometimes on'm trying to show you and i could and then like sometimes on set you'll like say a joke and then a white exec will be like i don't quite get it can we get an alt on it and it's like no i'll explain to you why it's funny and then it's just like you have to take time out of your day to do that and then when you explain a joke you know

it's no longer funny i mean anytime you have to you have to have a footnote to a joke it's over i mean it's game over i mean look look at it in content you look at in content you go why did in content work because we had a latin writer a latin director lin-manuel miranda was was heading the whole spirit and the whole project they did mad research so it works because it's specific insecure why did it work because she wrote it and they let her do what she needed to do. And it was specific and real. And anybody could connect to that. And the interesting thing about the specificity is because like I watched in Kanto and I was like, I love it.

I don't see myself represented, but like I love it. It's a very accessible story. And it was effective. And that's like another thing. It's like just because it's like not people who look exactly like you doesn't mean that it's not going to resonate with everybody right right because look we've been watching white stories forever and we and it resonated with us yeah we we don't get it we don't understand the culture i'm not mad about it no either

it works the other way around too. It just does. Yeah. Okay. I also want to ask you about another movie that I love that you're in. Moulin Rouge. Another Baz Luhrmann joint. So have you done musicals before? Because you sing in that, right? I do.

A little bit. Yes. Have you done like musical theater at all or singing? No. No. I got an amazing voice, an incredible voice but but i can't remember a melody or hit a pitch but other than that i have an amazing voice an incredible singing voice uh yeah you know uh bass wanted me for the unconscious argentinian and i was like unconscious i don't want to be in a role that's unconscious if i want to want to do that. If I want to be unconscious, I'll stay home and drink all weekend.

But I wanted to lose the track, but he had offered it to Rowan Atkinson. So I had to prove to him in a four-hour audition in a hotel. Four hours? Yeah, I had to prove that I could do a British accent of some sort. And then play sort of a comical and yet totally believable and so it was quite difficult to prove it,

but I did and I got the part. Probably because Ron probably turned it down, but I got it anyway. But a four-hour audition, damn, that's a marathon. Oh my God, yeah.

I was like, no, boy. I was like, I can't do it anymore. Maybe I don't want the part anymore. Yeah, I don't want this. Hour three, I'd be like, you know what? Give it to her.

I'll go to sleep. I'll be the unconscious Argentinian. Let me just sleep. For real, for real. So, John, we've come to the end. Oh, wow. Already? Already.

I'm so sorry. I ask all of my guests this. Would you date me? Let me ask my wife. Honestly, good answer. Is there anything that you want to promote? Yeah, the power. I love the power.

The power of this incredible series. It was a number one novel around the world uh speculative fiction so so basically the short story is uh girls through evolution develop this organ to protect them protect them from violence protect them from agro men uh patriarchy and and this organ comes at puberty and it and it becomes an electric charge some girls can control it to a static charge some girls can give out a nuclear blast and and people start getting afraid especially men so they start rounding them up and they escape and they start taking over the world and women take over the planet oh that sounds is that's on amazon yeah yeah it's on amazon i think we're on episode six this week okay i think i'm gonna get into it that sounds That sounds very good. Oh, you gotta love it.

You gotta love it. If you don't love it, call me up and ask me for your money back. I'll give it back. Give me back my Amazon Prime money. All right, Nicole, here it is.

You want it in Venmo or PayPal? John, thank you so much for being here. I really do appreciate it. I know you're very busy, so thank you. Oh, thank you for having me.

It was a blast. Anytime. All right. Thank you. If you like this episode of Why a blast anytime all right thank you um if you like this episode of why won't you date me you can like it you could rate it you could uh i don't know give me a review on itunes or apple podcast whatever but if you write me something nasty hitting on me i will read it um and you just send it to why won't you date me podcast at gmail.com this nice person said nicole i want someone to take you on the most romantic date where you joyfully talk

about amazing shows. You've you've guest starred on together. I want him to take you home, pull out his huge cock, either on his own or one that he brought and fuck you till he screams. I'm nailing it. Afterwards, he were proposed to you because you have a fat ass and you would live happily

ever after. Don't ask me why, but I think this would be very good. So that is a nasty thing that somebody said. Wow, that's nasty. But I'm glad you read it out loud. I'm glad you didn't keep it to yourself. No, got to read them out loud for the people to hear.

All right. Thank you, John. Bye bye. John, peace. That's it for Why Won't You Date Me with me Nicole Byer Why Won't You Date Me is produced

and engineered by oh the sweetest woman I know Marissa Melnick it is executive produced by other wonderful people Adam Sachs

Joanna Solo-Taroff and Jeff Ross thanks for listening I love you thank you so much we'll be seeing you next Friday with a brand new episode. What a dream.

What a dream. This has been a Team Coco production.