Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Send Me Your Hole Pics (w/ Angeria Paris VanMichaels)

Episode Date: October 10, 2025

Drag queen Angeria Paris VanMichaels (Winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars S9) wants your hole pic. She joins Nicole to talk about the etiquette of hooking up with a RuGirl, those confusing “boyfriend things” that blur situationships, and why being the one who always texts first is exhausting.Angeria opens up about what she really wants in a partner, how she’s manifesting real love after years of being single, and the thrill of the chase. Plus, Nicole receives a sandwich in her email.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastCheck out Angeria's show, Angie's Drag Corner on YouTube at: youtube.com/channel/UChFN80b8ULqwyix0jIMkVWwSupport for this episode comes from Bumble. Start your love story on Bumble - bumble.com #bumblepartnerFollow:Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. This is a headgum podcast. Today's segment is brought to you by Bumble, the go-to dating app for finding love. If I scroll on your profile and it doesn't look silly, we're not going to match. If your opener doesn't make me laugh, I'm probably not replying. Panter is key. And I want someone who can match my silliness. That's why I love that Bumble. has prompts. Like, you can throw a little weirdo energy into your profile and see who vibes with it.

Bumble offers tips in moments you might need them to help you on your dating journey. So you never feel alone when dating on Bumble. It's like having a dating coach in your pocket. So what are you waiting for? Start your love story on Bumble. I would love a dick pick. If you would like to send me a dick pick in my DMs, I will definitely be open and willing. to that, okay? Please. Well, don't beg for it. Oh, I'm sorry.

Just make it sound like, oh, I'm sorry. Oh, if you happen to take a picture, you want to send it my way, you can. Well, you know, that makes, that makes sense. Listen, only send nice dick pics, no hole picks. Holes are too much, unless you want a hole. Oh, no, no, no. I prefer hole pitch. Oh, okay.

Okay, let's be clear that the nudes period are wonderful. Okay. But I am an ass girl. Okay, I'm an asshole kind of girl. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why.

Ooh, baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me a podcast, where me and Nicole Byer was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come in an ice cube tray and tell me that's a marble. I'm running out of them. My guest today is a drag queen who charmed the world on Rupal's Drag Race Season 14 and went on to win All-Star Season 9. And one of my favorite queens and truly turns such stunning looks like the one she's wearing today. It's Angeria Paris Manameco.

Yes. Hello. Oh, my God. You know, I was wondering what it was going to be today. Like what you were going to say? Like, because each one just starts off with you saying something about coming. Uh-huh. You could come in.

And I'm like, I wonder what it is today. It's my favorite thing. If you didn't do one, I would have felt really, really like, yeah. I was trying to think of a good one, and then it wasn't very good. It wasn't good at all. It's okay. You do it for... So you got a workshop day.

You could have just used one of the old ones over. I just would have been like, hey. I wonder, I probably have repeated. I'm sure at some point. Right. At some point, I'm sure... Do you know Mars? Yeah, I think there's something about like a thumb pin coming in a thumbtack or something like that.

Oh, maybe it's a thimble. I use that a lot. Coming in a thimble. Yeah, I heard that one. Yeah, I heard that one. And it was one you did. It was one where you said something about a button. Something about coming in a button or something like that.

And I was like, this is ridiculous. This is crazy. But no, I do want to tell you this. So me and my best friend, we literally fell in love with you the moment that you were on drag race. And you said you were talking about Kamora Hall. And she was like, you were critiquing her. And you were like saying that she was looking lost like, She was in the aisle of a grocery store.

And she's like shopping and trying to figure out what she wants. So we always go, oh, SpaghettiOs, I would never. And we always like, oh, my, like we say that all the time. That's so funny. SpaghettiOs, I would never. Injury, that's so funny. I'm telling you, yeah. Well, have you ever had a spaghetti?

I have. It's been a long time. Oh, terrible. It like hits you in the back of your throat. So it's really true. Spaghetti? I would never. Yeah, I think I can agree with you.

Ingeria, can I ask you a question? She can ask me anything. Okay. Are you single? Are you dating? Do you not want to say? Are you married? Tell me.

I am single. Okay. Yeah, I'm single. Okay. What are you looking for? And that's a good question because I am looking. I feel like I'm finally looking. You know how you get to a point where you're like,

Okay, I think I can do it now. So, okay, so that was me. Like, I haven't had a boyfriend in like six years. Okay. It's been a minute. Yeah. But you've been busy. Yeah.

And so before, like maybe, so it's been four years since drag race. So two years before I got on, that was me trying to date still and then entertaining one situation. Okay. And it just didn't work out. And then after that, that's when I got on. drag race and then after that everything just went you know like my whole world just kind of went and then I was like topsy traffic well and see I've never been the busy one in a relationship

like I've never like I've always been the clingy one and I'm always with someone who's way busier than me and then and then I get all in my feelings because I'm like you're too busy for me like blah blah blah I want all of your time and this and that and then I got on drag race and And then my life became busy. And now every time I try to talk to people, I find it hard to, like, balance the life of, like, touring and, like, having a person. So now I kind of just don't. But do people slide into your DMs? Do you get a lot of dickpicks?

I don't. I have gotten some. Are you looking for some? I would love a dick pick. Look at that camera. I would love a dick pick. If you would like to send me a dick pick in my DMs, I will definitely be open. and willing to that, okay?

Please. Well, don't beg for it. Oh, I'm sorry. Just make it sound like, oh, I'm sorry. Oh, if you happen to take a picture, do you want to send it my way? You can. Well, you know, that makes sense. Because seeing it like that, they make it seem like everybody. Like, I'm just desperate.

Like, everybody will just. You're just like, I just need to see a dick. Oh, I'm just hungry for it. And then this airs. And then it's just. And then you'll get things that you don't want. You'll be like, oh, my God. I never want to.

That my whole life. God damn it, Nicole, why don't you do that? Listen, only send nice dick picks, no hold picks. Holes are too much, unless you want a hole. Oh, no, no, no. I prefer whole pitch. Oh, okay. Okay, let's be clear that the nudes, period, are wonderful.

Okay. But I am an ass girl, okay? I'm an asshole kind of girl. Put it on a bumper sticker. I'm an asshole kind of girl. That is so funny. I had a man, he emailed me. My email's not hard to figure out.

Please don't try to figure it out. But he emailed me, not a dick pick, but he emailed me pictures of himself and the sandwich he was eating. And I was like, huh, well, that's an interesting way to try to get my attention because I did read all the emails. Well, what kind of sandwich was it, though?

It was a tough sandwich. Oh, I wish I could remember his name. It was, it was a lot. And at one point, okay, hold on. Let me see if I could find it. It's going to be easy. He just sent it. Okay, I won't say his name.

But that's a picture of the sandwich. Oh, okay. And I think he did tell me what was in it. Let's see. Okay, he did tell me. He said, that was a sandwich. Okay, some silly pictures of meat. And yeah, that was a sandwich I made.

I don't know if you like food, but I used to be a cook. Whatever. It's an aunt Millie sub-bun buttered and garlic. Yes, I'm quoting the phrase garlic. Three and duly sausage strips, air-fried with black forest air-fried caramelized ham, three slices of provolone cheese, slathered with Cajun mayonnaise. Do I put lettuce and tomato on it? Definitely needs it.

It's very rich. Anyway, I made this dijon butter, melted butter with Dijon mustard, and then you drizzled on every bite. So this man is sick. He said, I want diabetes today. Like tomorrow today. It was a full description. Like, you know, when you look at stuff on the menu at a fancy restaurant and it's like

this really long paragraph of a description, I feel like that's what you just gave. Well, that's what he gave you. And you didn't even ask for it. I didn't ask for it one time. You didn't even ask for the same. You got a full description. And he also said something. very funny.

So his messages were not welcomed. I didn't love them, except for at one point he said, oh my God, I'm really scrolling. Okay, he said, I'm so pissed right now. They left you out of the Girls Like You Maroon Five video. That's total BS. Uh-uh.

They ain't going to do my baby like that. Oh, my God. You must kill a lot of wild. I mean, that's the wildest. A man who's mad that I'm not in a video that was made years ago? Oh, my God. Do you get wild DMs?

I, see, most of my DMs are like, thankfully, most of my DMs are like, I love you. Yes. Like, you make my day, you inspire me those things. So I'm like, okay, great, like, that's beautiful. I think the, like, the wildest DMs for me are always just kind of like the hate ones. I think those are like the wildest And then the occasional You know like we said

The occasional nude there was one Now there was one message I really really liked I will not forget this Because you know when people send you things on Instagram And it's fully Like you can send it as like in Where it goes away Secret yeah

It's like you have to You know you'll just look at it once And then you can't look at it forever So it's like I'll open the DM and it'll just be sitting there, no words, no message, and I go, I don't know why my mind does this, but I always go, is this a nude? I really hope it's a nude. It could be anything. Sometimes I've opened them and it's just people with like my shirt on going like. Like, look at me.

Yeah. But I'm always like, if it's a really hot guy, I'm like, I'm like, what could this be? And this particular time, it was indeed a nude and it was a hole. And I was just like, oh, my God, yeah. And I lived, like, I lived. I was like, oh, my God. And then me and him, like, ended up exchanging numbers and stuff. It never went anywhere.

But, you know, it's always good for the time being. The thought is what counts. Yes, like we ended up exchanging and stuff. And that's nice. And that's nice for the moment. You know, I'm like, if we're never. going to meet, and that's cool, because most of the people that you meet on, like, absence stuff, you're never going to meet them anyway. So I'm always good with a good casual nude

exchange session. I like that. Like, if that's what we do and we talk, and I'm like, you know what, I never have to see you. I saw you naked, and it was wonderful. And that was enough for me. That was enough. You know what? Sometimes that does just have to be enough. You know, you have to be like, okay, I saw a little something, something. And now. I'm going to go about my business, go about my day. So since being on drag race, has dating changed for you? You said that you were the person in the relationship who is like, I want to be with you. You're busier than me.

But like, have more people been asking you out? Have you, like, been dating at all? So, okay, so I haven't dated, like, at all since, like, getting on drag race. The last time I dated was, like, maybe six months before, it all. happened. And like I said, that just didn't. It just didn't work out. That just didn't work out.

Okay. And so afterwards, I wasn't focused on it at all. I didn't even, you know, like, it just wasn't something that was on my brain. And until now. Mm-hmm. Now your head is in the game. Because, you know, when it all happens, it's all you think about is work. Like, all, like, I never saw drag becoming my full-time.

occupation. And then when it did, I'm like, okay, great. I'm doing my thing. I'm touring. I'm like, if this is where the work is, well, this is what I'm doing. I'm throwing myself into it. This is all I'm focused on. This is all I'm doing. I'm riding the waves. And that's all I wanted to do. And, you know, get a little on the side every now and then. But I'm like, as far as a relationship, I don't want it. I don't need it. I can't. It's okay. It's okay. And I, and I just didn't feel as focused. like after all the stuff got busy I just didn't feel focused so then I stopped worrying about it and I didn't care anymore

I was like it's okay I'm not gonna look for it because I don't think I need it I honestly think that's a good place to be to be like I'm just not gonna worry about it I'm gonna focus on myself I'm gonna get this coin I'm gonna get the bag

and like worry about it later so you didn't think drag could be a full time job for you even before like as you were auditioning for the show you weren't like that's the end goal well if I got on the show

Yes, if I got on the show Because when I auditioned I actually didn't think that I would get on the You auditioned once I auditioned once So I didn't I really wasn't thinking that Like it took a lot for me to even audition So when I did I just put the tape in

And went on about my life I was like Uberin and stuff I just put the tape in And I went back to my everyday thing And then not until you do Drag Race do I feel like Like, that's when we go, oh, shit, this, this is real. And drag had always just been a hobby for me that I did all the time.

And I always told myself, I didn't want it to become a job because I was afraid of that. I was like, I don't think I want to do it all the time. I don't want it to become repetitive because I don't do well with nine to fives. And anytime something becomes repetitive, I'm telling you, I'm like, nope. Like, I get tired of it, and I was so excited about drag. It was my happy place. I was like, I don't want this to become boring and jaded. And I don't want to wake up ever and go, I don't feel like doing this.

Like, I don't feel like going into work today. I never wanted that to be drag. So I never, like, full-time occupation that was never, full-time occupation and drag that was never, like, in the same sentence for me. Until drag racing, then I went, okay, now see, This we can do, though. This we can do. This we can do.

This is good. I'm not doing this. You know, I'm not going into one, you know, one place every single day. It's a very sporadic kind of thing. Like, I'm never doing the same thing. So, yeah, because that's just me as a person, like, all the way around. I'm not a repetition kind of, kind of, kind of, I'm not a routine kind of girl. I don't like a routine at all.

That's why I like podcasting because it's like, sure, maybe I come in the same time, you know, three times. a week or whatever, but I get to talk to so many different types of people that I'm just like, no day is the same and it's so nice. And then what got you into drag? Did you see drag race and you were like, I want to try this? Or were you just like in the club? So I had been watching it, but I had a friend who did drag and it was the only person I knew, like the only drag queen friend that I had.

And I said, I want you to put me in drag for my birthday. And that's all I want. I didn't want to go anywhere. I just wanted her to do my makeup, and then I'd take some pictures, wash it off. I just always wanted to know what I would look like. And she did it for me, and, excuse me, best birthday gift in the world. Like, I was like, yes, oh, my God. And then maybe a couple of months later, I was like, okay, so now I want to do a show.

Let's do a show. And I did a show. It was terrible. I'm telling you, I looked like Boo Boo Boo, the Fool. It was crazy. I mean, I looked foolish. I had on this reddy wig. I was doing one night only by Beyonce.

It was really, you know, from Dream Girls. This sounds like a real treat. It was a real treat at the time. I felt like Beyonce. You were feeling yourself. I did not look like Beyonce. I did not. Well, on a red wig.

Beyonce doesn't do red. No, not red. Ready. Oh, right. Ready week. Yeah, it was, it was terrible. You didn't brush it out? Yeah.

Well, I didn't know anything about doing all of that. at that time. So, yeah, it's just, yeah, it afterwards, I did look crazy, but the one thing I pulled from it was that it was just fun. It was just fun to do, and I was like, I want to do it again, and I kept doing it, and I got so serious about it within the span of a year that I just have been doing it ever since. I genuinely fucking love that you were like,

I like being in drag, I want to put on a show. So then you put on a show. And, like, in hindsight, you were like, it was a ratty wig. I didn't look like Beyonce, but you did it, and then you kept doing it. I feel like a lot of people are like, I wish I could do X, Y, and Z, and it's like, you can. You just have to fucking do it. You literally just have to do it. That's it.

Like, because my entire, like, first year of doing drag, it was just me. Just, like, I would get off work at, like, 1 o'clock in the morning, and I would wake up all of my friends. roommates and then I would because they were drag queens too I would wake up all my roommates and then I would make them do makeup with me and we would do makeup and take pictures and lip sync in the living room until like seven o'clock in the morning and it was the best time of my life like I love it like we were in college and it was just yeah like that those are some of the best times in my life like Angerius baby like drag time yeah it's like you had your very own, like, drag boot camp that you were running.

I did, yeah. Get up. We're doing makeup. Come on. Like, we're doing that, come on. You're not doing anything. Like, you're sleeping. Get up.

Yeah, get up now. Come on. Like, holding a whole, like, makeup brush to here. Here. Put it on. Put on the blush. Put it on. Put it on.

Here it is. Foundation now. I love that. Andrew, real quick. We have to take a break. Today's segment is brought to you by Bumble, the go-to dating app for finding love. On this show, you know I'm always talking about how important banter is. If someone can't match my silly, it's not going to work out.

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Start your love story on Bumble. Be bop, boobop, bop, bop, bap, bop, we're back. Okay. So you haven't been dating. Oh, do you remember, like, the best date you've ever been on? Yes, I do. It was with my ex-boyfriend, or one of my ex-boyfriends. It was just, like, he came to visit me, like I was living in Velas to Georgia at the time.

And he came, like, to visit me. And this was, oh, I should mention this was my first boyfriend. Okay. This is my very first boyfriend. And this is the only reason why it's significant. Like the only reason, because I was so excited about it, and I'm like, oh, my God, I've never done this. I've only been dating guys for a little short time. And he drove, like, three, four hours to come see me.

We were supposed to, like, go to the movies, but he got there super late, so we didn't go to the movies. And instead, we just went out to eat, and then he came back to my house, and we stayed in the bed, and we watched robots, and just left. And it was just really, really special to me because this was the first, like, time anybody had, like, took me out. And, you know, like, it was just, like, invited me into a whole new, like, world of stuff. So I was just like, yeah. That's so cute. Oh, my God. Am I going to cry?

No, I just think that's so cute that you were, like, one of the most romantic dates was someone, like, spending the time to drive to something. see me. Yeah. And then just, like, spending time with me, taking me out, cuddling me in a bed, watching things with me. That does sound really nice and romantic. Oh, I love it. Like I said, he, and it was to the point where he got there late and I didn't even

care because I spent the whole day, like, just so excited and him. And I was just like, hey, what time is it? Hey, where are you? You on the way? Like, I'm like, yeah, the whole day. I love that. Yeah, his first boyfriend. first, you know, time ever, like, dating a guy, like, period.

So it was just, yeah. I'm like that a little bit. The nice man who spends time with me, he came over yesterday. And he came over, and I was like, hey, I picked some strawberries that I grew. And I made a watermelon. And I was like, oh, my God, I feel like I'm, like, a little kid. And he's like, that's okay. You're just excited to, like, show me stuff.

And I was like, yeah, I'm excited to show you stuff because you, like, like care and you're like, ooh, show me another picture. And I'm like, I have another. Yeah. And like my, my love language is fully like, it's worse affirmation and it's quality time. Like I need time. Like I'm, that's what I tell you. I'm used to being clingy. I am used to being that person that wants to be around you. Like I need to be around you. I need to be reassure at all times. If it's not going to be words, I need it to be like

full action, affection. I need, and see, I'm words. That's why I said I'm words and quality time because one needs to balance out the other. You know what I mean? Like, if you can't, like if you're not, some people aren't, you know, some people just aren't that, you know,

I'm going to tell you I love you type of people, which is fine. but you got to pick one. You have to pick one. We have to pick one. Or you tell me you love me every 60 seconds. If you're not an affectionate person from this, then how about we do it from this? Like how we, like, we need something.

And if I can't get either one, then we just can't be together because I need, I need some. I'm a person that needs to be reassured by something. You're not just going to be a nonchalant lover with me. I, okay, I fucking love that. I saw a video on like Instagram that was like, why are you? are we being nonchalant? Why are we acting like we don't care about the other person? Why don't we tell people how we feel? And that really like stuck with me. I saw it like maybe a year ago or whatever. And I was like, yeah. Why am I trying so hard to be cool with these people? I'm not

cool. I'm not a cool person. I'm rather intense. I'm a little weird. And I like what I like. And I love words of affirmation. I love hearing, hey, I like spending time with you or I had a good time with you. And that matters so fucking much to me. Yeah. If we go on a date and you did it. Oh, you just had to work. Oh, I was like, you lit up.

I'm sorry. Yes. That is so wild that I was like, okay, where are we going? I was going to paint the whole day for us. Okay, so you're going on a date. I was going to say where, so. If we're going, if we're, okay, so I will use you. Okay.

We're going on a date. Yes. And we're going to a really nice restaurant. Yes. You know, preferably somewhere where we can get like some steak or lamb chops or, you know, something like that. Oh, it's going to be expensive. Yes, it is going to be expensive. And it's fine because I don't, you know, I don't mind paying.

But also, if we have this day. date um afterwards we because we're going to have a phenomenal time me and you yes because you know you're amazing i'm amazing you're funny i'm funny yes we've spent the whole date laughing and eating and yeah it's been wonderful and then after the date i'm probably going to be the one to text you and say wow that was so amazing i had a great time like that was wonderful and the way you respond to me, is going to tell me everything I need to know. And it's going to determine if we do anything else.

I love that. That is me. That is me. I'm like, because now it feels great when I get it on the other end. If you text first, oh, even better. I'm like, because I'm going to text right back and I'm going to go, wow, I had a great time too. Like, can't wait to do it again. Like, that's going to be me.

But if I text you that and then you send me like an emoji, like, which is like my least favorite thing in the world, like you just like heart, oh, even worse, you just react to what I said, but you don't say anything back or it grinds my gears. Like I'm like. It's because there's no thought. There was no effort behind it.

Oh, no. You just did a little tap back and that's the, that's fucking it. it. That's it? That's it. And then I have created a whole, like, scenario in my head. Oh, he hated it. He hated it. He didn't have a good time. It was awful. It was terrible. Wow. And here I am thinking it was just the best date in the world. But not that that has to be the case. But maybe they're just a little more late back and knowing Shalon about it. And that's what I don't like. But you are truly onto something. I'm not a nonchalant person. And when I was dating, I would just be like, oh, I hope they text me. And if they text it me, I would then try to like mold myself to how they, like, if they were like, oh, I had a nice time, I'd be like, oh, I had a nice time too. And I wouldn't be like, do you want to go out again?

Yeah. Did you like being with me? Like, I would just be like waiting. And the nice man in my life was very upfront with like, oh, I'd like to. go out again. And I was like, yes, yes, I would like that. And then I told him that I wasn't chill at all pretty quickly. And he was like, oh, I know. Yeah. Because some people, because in my mind, someone has to be, someone has to like be the initiator. Like somebody has to be that person, like if there's going to be one. And even though I, sometimes I would love

if the other person was like being there majority of the time I'm the one that's kind of throwing myself out there because you know I feel like sometimes I feel like if I'm genuinely interested in getting to know someone or talking to someone then I need to I need to be the one that's you know

like if you want something go out and get it so sometimes I tell myself I'm like like okay some days I just go up. I'm good being single. I'm all right. Other days I'm like, maybe we should re-download Tinder. Maybe we, you know, other days I'm like, maybe I should text this person. Maybe I should, you know, sometimes I'm like, if you want it, which genuinely deep down, I do want it. I do. And, but it's just that a lot of times I'll feel like I'm being the initiator and put myself out there. And, and I, when I do it, I want to get it back.

Like, I want, I want to really like, yeah, I at least give me something to work with. That's all, like, that's all I ever want is just give me something to work with and I can, and then I can, you know, I can put the work in, but I need to know. And that's why I'm like, uh, it's, it's, it's hard, though. It's, it's hard. It is hard. And I do wish I had heard that when I was dating around because I would be the initiator and I would like chase people who definitely didn't want to be chased.

Yeah. And I wish, I wish in hindsight that like when I put myself out there to be like, I like you, I'd like to go out again. And then that person was lukewarm, I wish I had the confidence to go, you don't seem into me. So best of luck, as opposed to just chasing somebody down who doesn't want it, who's not going to match me with like, you know, excitement and like, validate. and telling me that they want to be with me,

I would chase these men who, like, objectively did not like me. I was like, but I'll make them like me. I'll win them over. And it's like, you don't want to win over your partner. You want someone who wants you. But then, but then, well, at least this is how I feel like it goes a lot, especially with, like, gay men and dating. I feel like you won't like that person.

and then someone will really, really like you, and then, and it's just not the set, like, there's like a, I feel like there's like a constant, like, cat and mouse, and everybody's chasing. Like, everybody's the cat. I feel like everybody's the cat. I do. And there is no mouse.

It's just everyone. I feel like everybody is like the cat. Like, everybody wants to, like, chase something. and that thing does not want them but the moment that someone's trying to like chase them they're like no thanks I don't want it and I'm just like okay at this point I just really want something mutual

I want someone that I feel really really really into and then I know that they're really into me like I can feel it like I know I can like remind reassure myself on it. Like, I can be like, I know, I can tell that this person likes me the way that I like them.

And I haven't had that in a long time. It's either I feel like I'm lacking or I feel like they are. It's always just one of the other. You feel like you're lacking? But you're so fabulous and confident and wonderful. Well, see, I didn't say that. Oh. I know that.

You're like, well, there's no question about it. that. But when I say lack it, I mean, like, maybe in the situation, I don't feel as connected. Mm-hmm. Oh, okay. Like, like, maybe I don't feel as connected, and then there's, and then there's times when it's, like, the other way around. So I just want to really meet someone where I feel like it's a full connection. Like, and it's something I have felt before, but just not in years. Like, be, like I said, before Drag Race, I had at least maybe like five like relationships which is all I've ever had my whole life

is just five relationships I haven't had very many so yeah and it's and I haven't had a relationship last over a year like my longest relationship is like 10 months so that's a good run and it was and it felt like a lot it felt like a lot we live together and everything

we did a lot in those 10 months I'm telling you like it how long did you date before me moving in? Well, we dated like two or three, two or three months. Oh, okay. Two or three months. That's pretty quick. No, I, I tried to avoid it and he knows it. To this day, to this day, you know, I love him, like, as a person, but he knows to this day that back then I did, I tried to avoid that my life because I'm the type of person that believes moving together is a big, step because in my mind I'm like moving together could blow up the entire deal okay yeah like not that I wouldn't want to but I wouldn't want to in like two months we're still

getting know each other you don't know that person I don't even really know you don't know me and you will be forced to get to know me fast and I don't have to be forced to really get to know you a little faster than I might want to I do want to get to know you I may not want to get to know all of you in the house like in yeah I want to still get to know you outside of your living space real quick because we're we're comfortable when we're at home I'm comfortable

I am I am a mess I am I am a mess I used to be real as I can be I am messy oh oh no co I am oh I am oh I am unorganized really I am I believe in organized chaos like it's okay if everything gets messy as long as I know where it is.

Like, I'm that kind of person. Okay. I'm not been the neatest person. Like, I'm telling you, even growing up, I was always getting yelled at, like, by my mama, clean your room. Like, I am that. Do you have a drag room? I do have a drag room.

Is that organized? It is organized now, and I'm so proud of it. I am, I am so proud of it. Yeah. And you can go look at it, too. Because I did out of the closet and it came out of the closet. What's out of the closet? It's the out of the closet is the show on YouTube where the drag race queens show their drag rooms.

So my episode is like the most recent air when you should. And I'm proud of it because the rest of the apartment is chaos and this is all. And it took me so much to like, and I did it all by myself. Like, I did have a friend, like, kind of helped me. But for the most part, I did a lot of the decoration in and then just doing it, like, one day, because it was a tornado before because I'm that kind of person. And then one day I was like, I really want to organize it. I wanted to look really pretty. And then I did.

And then I was like, yes. So I'm not the most, you know, I'm not the neatest. person. I can be a little messy, a little junkie. And, and yeah, like, it's not that I'm trying not trying to hide any of that, but I want to get to know someone just for, you know, here first. Like, I don't, you know, I did used to do the thing where, you know, I would completely, you know, make sure I cleaned up every time and all that kind of stuff. But now the odor I get, I'm like, No, no, no. Let's go out. Let's go on dates. Let's go do stuff and get to know each other like that. Then when we're ready to experience home life, then we can...

I think that's smart. Then I can bring you my space. And then not just bring you in my space for like a day. I can bring you in my space for like maybe a few days. You can stay with me. And I'm not going to be... And you're not like on your best behavior. It will be clean when you get there because that's just me. It will be clean when you get there and I will screw up my fingers to the bone to make sure. sure, but once you are there, you will see how it gets jocified. You are going to see that the way it looked on Monday is not the way it's going to look on Thursday,

and that's okay. And that's okay. That's okay. And now you know, and now you, and, you know, because we've gotten to know each other and we've talked, dated for a little minute, or, you know, now maybe you'll be a little more accepting to that side of me, and you won't just be like, You know, so, you know. I feel like you have a very healthy approach as to how you want your next relationship to be.

I love that. Okay, so what are you looking for in a partner? Okay, I am, that's a good question. That's a good question. Thank you. It's been a minute since I, like, actually thought about it, I think. Because my mind hasn't, like, true. really like been there but I think like I just told you I think my biggest thing is just wanting

someone who is gonna not mind showing me like the affection and stuff like I've learned a lot I've learned a lot over the years like you know dating and not dating and now I'm like if I ever get into a relationship I'm not settling on these things that I that I let slide back when I was dating. I am like, baby, we're over 30 now. I'm like, there are just some things that I won't, you know, so my biggest thing is I need intent and I need, and I need affection and all those kind of things. Like, I need reassurance. I need someone who's not going to mind giving it to me. Like, and it's, and it's not hard. I just want someone who doesn't mind spending time with me and making time for me and just showing me, you know, how they feel because

I will do the same. I like intentions. Like I like when people state what they want because I'm going to state what I want. Like if we've been talking and dating for a minute and I feel like I could see myself dating you, I'm going to say it. Because I just, I've learned that I think that's just better to that way we don't have to waste our time. And you're not dancing around.

Yeah, we're not dancing around and being like. How do I feel? Oh, yeah. And then you don't get the right, you know, to come later and say, well, oh, yeah. I was confused. Yeah, I didn't know. I didn't mean to lead you on. I didn't mean to lead you on.

Yeah. And I'm like, no, no. You don't have to worry about leading me on because I'm going to let you know now what I want out of this. And then if it's not what you want, then here is open space and opportunity for you to say, I don't want that. And that is, then we're like, okay, great. So then if I want to stay and chill and entertain this with you, I will do it. Because you have a choice. I think a lot of times we date and we don't allow others to make a choice.

We're just like, oh, yeah, I'm doing boyfriend things. And we're like sleeping over every night. And I'm saying I love you. Then it's like, oh, so are you my partner? And it's like, no, what? No, we're just casually dating. And it's like, what? Why didn't you tell me, why are you telling me, like, serious things?

And when I said I wanted to continue dating, why wouldn't you say, oh, I just want a casual thing so then I can make the choice to go, oh, I don't want a casual thing. I want a real thing. I got to go. I love that you just said boyfriend things because, like, my last situation years ago, that was my issue. And he was the one that ultimately taught me I got to start stating mind. so we'd lay in the bed and I'd go, hey, I want to be with you.

Like, I, like, I know this. And I'm just, and I, I am literally just telling you this because I just want you to know that I know that I want to be with you. This isn't to, to rush anything. Like, I'm not trying to rush nothing. I don't care. We're going to keep doing what we're doing, but I want you to know that we've been spending, like, a lot of times. and doing a lot of things, and he would be doing a lot of boyfriend things, and that's why, and it would irritate me when he would come back and say, well, he'd come back and say,

oh, we're not, you know, we're just, I'm like, what are we? And he'll go, we're just coasting is the word he used. We're coasting, we're chilling, we're, and I'm like, okay, okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay. I'm okay with that, but this is my problem. You're doing a lot of boyfriend things right now. You know, your best friend just had a birthday party last week. We went. You introduced me to every single person.

Your best friend, they're all having conversation with me, loving me, all this. You're bringing me around as if I'm like you're a boyfriend. Like I felt very, you know, I'm getting to know these people. I've gotten to know all your friends now. I'm creating bonds with these people, you know what I'm saying? And I'm like, this is kind of what I mean. Like, don't do boyfriend things if that's not what you want me to be. Because now that you're doing those boyfriend things, inviting me over your parents' house, all this.

You met parents? And you weren't like an official, that's wild to me. Okay, wait I didn't meet I didn't meet the parents I went over to the parents' house They were not there at the moment The spirit of them was

That's true I met the little I met little sister I met either way I met brothers I met family members So I'm like Okay so my Here's my thing

Oh and kids Yeah Yeah kids So so I've met kids too Kids knew who I was So I was like okay so this is the thing uh at this point the more time we spend together the more i'm gonna feel you know these feelings i'm gonna feel these feelings they're gonna like keep growing you're doing

boyfriend things we're spending boyfriend time they're going to you know my feelings for you are going to grow and and they have been and so i'm letting you know now that that's kind of where my mind is but before it goes any further i want to go ahead and and like, let you know so that, you know, I need to know before I continue. And then that's when he said that we were chilling, you know, that we're coasting. That we're coasting and that we're, you know, and then that's when I was like, okay, okay, great, okay, all right. So we're coasting, but still in a way, still in a way like making me feel like we're good, though. like we I do want to like be with you or whatever but like we're coasted that was like I was in a

situation ship for a very long time where I was like you're my boyfriend he was like no and I was like we're doing you're doing a lot of you're like half moved into my house like what are what are we doing and he just would never be clear and I guess him not being clear was it should have been clear to me to be like oh if you're not being clear then I have to get out of this yeah but instead I was like, maybe he'll want to be my boyfriend one of these days. And then it ended and it was like, what was I doing? Hindsight's 20-20. I feel crazy.

Yeah. And that's me like when I look on it. But I'm like, you know, to think about looking back at those situations, you go, but I've grown. I've grown. I've grown. I've grown. I have. Like, I look at those situations and I go, it's okay.

It's fine. I know. I'm a bigger person. Yes, I'm the bigger person. It's okay. And thank you to you because I am there. You wouldn't have learned without going through all that. Okay, Ingeria.

Are you on the apps at all? Yes. And how does that, does it work out for you? Like, because when I was on the apps, I kept getting reported for catfishing. And I was like, I'm just trying to get fucked. I just want someone to love me. Also, if I was going to catfish, I would pick a better. person, I'd be

Hallie Berry. But have you been accused of cat fishing at all? You know how that time is, though, because we're public figures. And when you, like, it's so funny because they will literally message you

and go, Angeria, is this really you? And then thing about me, though, is you won't have to worry about me proving to you if I'm catfish or not. because I don't really like to be. Not that I don't want to be recognized, I don't care if you know,

I don't really like it to be brought up. Yes. Yeah, I don't really like for it to be brought up. Like, I'm not saying that if you just messaged me, you know, just because this is a social app still and saying, hey, and Jerry, I love you, you know, whatever, that I won't, like, respond and say, oh, thank you. but if we're like talking to get to know each other or hook up or something and you bring it up and you bring up drag or you know like I'm over here like are you a top of bottom and you're like oh my god my mom loves you we loved your season and I'm like oh my god like and it's happened it's happened I literally Topper bottom, my mom loves you.

Yeah, I've literally had, I've literally had guys, like, in midst of conversation talking about, like, sex or something, like, use my catchphrase. And, like, yeah, and it's the weirdest thing. I was, like, talking to this guy in Australia, and he goes, so we're talking to him. And he's like, yeah, so the whole time we're talking, he's being, like, kind of weird, but kind of like not. So I'm like, okay, it's mine. Hi, so how long are you here, blah, blah, blah.

What do you get into all this conversation? Okay, great. So I'm kind of like nervous to like meet you is what he's saying. And then I'm like, oh, why? And then of course, you know, obviously I noticed like he knows who I am. Okay, great. That's wonderful. And we're still talking, though, about like possibly.

hooking up and he's cute so I'm interested and then he goes yeah I don't want you to meet me and think I'm an ugly bitch and I was like there it is it's tough it's tough and then I have to turn into

Caspa then I have to turn into Caspa The Friendly Ghost The Friendly Ghost Goodbye Well yeah Yeah, like, I... Because it's weird, because you're like,

I don't know if you want to go out with me just to like ask me questions about drag race or ask me about other queens or ask how you can get into drag or whatever. Yeah. Because I feel like if somebody wants to genuinely get to know you and likes your personality from like either what they see on a profile or what they saw on television,

I feel like you, there's just a nicer way to do it. I'm going to tell you the secret with me. Uh-huh. Wait Wait Wait until when Okay, so if we're If the goal is hooking up

Yes If the goal is hooking up Wait until after Yes Yes Wait So after you come He rolls over and he's like

You ugly bitch And then especially if it was good You know You know I'll lean into it You know Why not? Like we We because at that point

At that point It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It already happened. And that's like just my preferred, like, experience with it. I know it's going to happen. I'm not saying it's not, like, I don't care. Like, this has been my life for the past four years.

I know people are going to know who I am. I just think it's more like a respected situation. And that's not even just for me. Like, that's for you too. And, like, the other person. Because one of the best sexual experiences I ever had was this guy, once again, from Australia. And he literally, one of my favorite experiences, because he comes over and then we have sex. And the whole time I'm thinking he does not know.

He hasn't said a word. He, I mean, he just, nothing. I am fully in the house with, I'm in an Airbnb because we were on tour with the top five from my cast. And he meets all of them. Doesn't say anything. Ask as if he just doesn't know any of us. And then we go in the room, we do our thing. And then as I'm escorting him out, later on that night, he goes something, something, something about, like, Bosco.

And, like, calls her by name or what, like, drag name or whatever. Like, well, I mean, in time. And so he goes, oh, yeah, something about Willow. And then I'm like, Willow. Okay. Don't worry about it. It's all right. Next day we're talking, and then I ask him, I go, do you know?

And then he goes, of course I know. I'm like, so you do know. And then he's like, yes, but I didn't want. want to I didn't want to ruin the moment it was a sense of awareness

a sense of awareness we love a sense of awareness I love what they say read the room read the room kind of person like read the room Mary and he

and he read the room like he was like and I was like I had not told him straight up I was like I love that Like, I am so, I love that to the point to where I will be so much more attracted to you because you did that. And I literally, he, like, he got me there. I was like, so what are you doing tonight? You want to stay over again?

Did you see him again? I'm like, an idea. Yeah, he came over again. And I'm not, and most of the time I might not be a repeat kind of girl. Like I said, I don't like repetition. So I was like, but when he said that, you know, he was like, and then. this is what really got me. He goes, well, I was trying to get some too. So I didn't want to ruin my chances either. And I was like, I want to move to Australia. That's a man on a mission. Yeah. But that is

just, I just think it's like, well, courteous of the moment. Like, like, you know, I just think it's just courteous just to, because it's a time and a place for everything. And I just think in the moment we're talking about, especially if we're talking about hooking up. Let's just talk about hooking up. He got what he want. He got to meet the other girl. You did. He got to fuck the person he wanted

to fuck. And then afterwards, I was, like, we were great. Like, you know, we started talking about drag race. Yeah, we can do that now. Because now you feel comfortable and you don't feel like there's an ulterior motive or you're just being like used. Yes. Like, it

didn't turn me off at all. I was like, wow, I just love, yeah, I just love when it happens like that. That's my favorite kind of experience. Like I said, I expect at this point for people to know, I just like it better when it's like that. I think, yeah, it's like a nice respectful thing. It's like you wouldn't do that with a different job. You know what I mean? No, you wouldn't.

You wouldn't, you wouldn't. Oh, you're a lawyer. I heard you're a lawyer. I saw it on LinkedIn. Yeah, you wouldn't be like, oh, I know you work at McDonald's. And it's like, we're in the middle of the States and you're like, blah, blah, blah, no, you're not going to do that. Like, you're not going to be, you're not going to just be like.

Just like rioting on someone being like, I'm loving it. I'm loving. Yeah, you wouldn't do that. That's unhinged. That's so wild. Oh, Angeria. Do you have any advice for single people? Advice for single people.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Have fun, being single. Because being single is great, okay? And there is nothing like getting to know yourself, okay? There is nothing like just, because I feel like I used to be very, I didn't want to be single.

Like before drag race and all that, and I feel like I got business of my own. I was scared of it. I was like, I just really like being a relationship. I have learned so much about myself, like being single. I'm at the point where I don't feel like I have to. You don't have to be with someone. Like, you can be happy with you. But I just feel like if being with someone is what you want,

which is still something I want, don't be afraid to put yourself out there to do it. Like, just go for it. Like, I've been trying to tell myself to do that with everything else. I always use Drag Race. I'm like, well, it work with Drag Race. maybe it'll work for dating. Like I said I wanted to be on TV.

I went after it. It worked. I want to be in a relationship. Maybe that will work too. I think it's going to work. I think it's manifesti. I feel like you've manifested a lot of things in your life. And I'm really manifesting for you

or hoping that you get what you manifest. And that's like somebody who matches you and really loves you. Yeah. Because it's something I want it. I want it. I do. I feel like things aren't as crazy as they were. So, you know, that's the thing.

It's all crazy at first. And then it slows down and calms down a little bit. You have more of a hang of it. So then I feel like now I can have someone with me when I travel and when I go places and tour and do stuff. Like, that's, you know, yeah. So it's a dream. It will happen.

I won't rush it. It will happen. It will happen. I also think that's good advice. It will have. It will happen. It will happen. Okay.

It will happen. Yes. Ingeria, I ask all my guests this. Would you date me? I would date you. I would. In an alternate universe, I would date you. I would.

In this universe, no. No, not so much. No, not so much. But in an alternate universe, you would be my perfect choice. Oh, Ingeria, thank you. Thank you. for doing this. This was really fun and wonderful and I adore you. I think you're wonderful. Do you have anything that you want to promote? Yes. Okay, so I, a few things. I do have a brand new

YouTube show. It's called Angie's Drag Corner where I'll talk about everything Drag and Drag Race Related. And I also have a brand new one woman show, which is called Angie's Big Break. I have done one show. was absolutely fabulous, and I will be bringing more to you. So, yeah, so watch out for that. I love it. And if you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you could like it, you can rate it, you can subscribe, you can give me five stars on Apple Podcasts. And if you write me something to Why Won't You Date Me Podcasts at gmail.com hitting on me,

something nasty and filthy. I'll read it. Also, I will have, please just keep them a little shorter. This one is long. Greetings, Madam Beyer. I simply cannot do anything sexual. to you on account of being a gay. However, I would follow you into the same target and say, wow, I didn't know they had Fenty

beauty here. And you'd be like, I know, that's so weird. Rihanna has stooped so low. And then I'd lightly chloroform you. You would wake up lightly tied in a safe room where I explained to you that I'm immortal from being, an immortal being from the serious star system, and I've been tasked with finding the perfect bisexual, a gay, a white gay, you're a black woman. I believe with our powers combined

we could find him. We go on a month long, this is long, a month long search to find this man and it ends up where it all began. Pueblo, Colorado. He's married with seven kids. This is all over the place. He has seven kids, doesn't have a moral compass, and we seduce him at a local

dive bar by losing at pool and laughing and grabbing that cute little butt. Eventually we go to a local motel 6, which I paid for. I'm an immortal being and had time to accumulate at least a little bit of wealth under capital, And throw him on, oh my God. We strip everything off and begin raw-dogging this man with you on his face.

And, okay, here we get to the good stuff. With you on his face and me riding his surprisingly above-average dick and pendulous balls. I begin to feel him throb inside me before I realize that you've come from riding his face at least three times. I know he is the one. He shoots inside me and all of a sudden you're alone in the hotel six. He and I have vanished into a flash of light as my protocol activated. you notice a pile of gold coins and a note that simply states,

Dear Nicole, despite not being the one to eat you out for 73 minutes straight, I will always treasure the time we had together with love and ad duration, regal beagle. Then you shed a single tear and think on yourself, that's too much gold.

How do you turn gold into money? And you smoke a single cigarette. On my planet, I'm executed because a guy I brought wasn't Alan coming? I will say, thank you for this submission. This was long. And this was all over the place. That's my only criticism.

The nasty stuff was nice and nasty, but you got to get to it a little quicker. Raw Dogging, first line. Okay, goodbye. Oh, you've been listening to Why Won't You Date Me with me, Nicole Beyer. This show is produced and edited by Mars with executive producer Anya Kennefkaya. It's engineered by Casey Donahue. With guest research by Lindsay Kempf. Our VP of content at HeadGum is Katie Moose.

and our Thieve music is arranged by Mike Cometay. Ah, thanks for listening. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. See you then. Okay, bye-bye. That was a Headgum podcast. Today's segment is brought to you by Bumble, the go-to dating app for finding love. If you're looking for someone who can actually match your silly Bumble is the place to find them,

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