Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - The 'Goblintimacy' Dating Trend (w/ Devon Walker)

Episode Date: July 31, 2026

Comedian Devon Walker (SNL, Big Mouth) returns to the podcast to join Nicole for a chat about "goblintimacy", the new dating trend where you skip putting your best foot forward. Nicole shares the details of her terrifyingly chaotic NYC taxi ride, the wild energy of the city after the Knicks championship win, and addresses those recent internet comments about her hair. Plus, they conduct a very important investigation into Willem Dafoe's notoriously huge hog, Nicole breaks down the extensive list of Hollywood actors in her romantic "stable," and they discuss the importance of knowing your STD status.Check out Devon's podcast, My Favorite Lyrics. You can watch Nicole's episode here: youtube.com/watch?v=LnjB1YWatF8Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastFollow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerThis is a Headgum podcast. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. This is a headgum podcast. Don't you date me? A podcaster me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come in my mouth and say it was a crown. My guest is a hilarious comedian who was on Saturday Night Live and wrote for Big Mouth.

He hosts the podcast, My Favorite Lyrics. I've been on it. music podcast that I've guessed it on. That's funny. I went off script and it was right there for me. That was a beautiful intro. Do you normally scat? Actually, yes. Hell yeah. We need scatting back in the equation. Listen, I think people just need to have more fun. That's true. We don't know each other too well.

No. But you do seem like you are always having fun. I'm always having a good time. Always. So do you know Mateo Lane? A little bit. He's currently in Chicago, the musical on Broadway. I saw it, yeah.

So I went and saw him because you got to go see your friends when they're on fucking Broadway. Of course. It's crazy. And all of the choreography is like Fossi. So I, from that night to the next day, I kept Fossian in the streets. I like that. I like that. I like that.

I'm being like, rock, sea, heart. Boo, boom, bo, bo, boo. Like, having a great time. You're doing West Side Story in the streets. I am. I like that. I'm having a great time. But that attracts crazy people.

Of course, of course, of course. Or does it repel people? You know what I'm because? Because there's a version of dancing in the street where you're like, okay, well, clearly something's wrong with them. Yes. Why are they doing that? But I guess for you, somebody was like, for me, that looks like a fun person to interact with. The wild people go, that's my friend.

You're bringing the crazies in. I really am. Yeah. We were, I was fosting in the street and I hailed a cab being like, and then a guy in a van stopped. It was like hanging out the window and he was like, hey, get it. And I was like, that's my people. So we get in this cab.

And then he like turns fully around. He was like, cash. And I was like, oh, I have cash. And Sashir was with me. And she was like, I don't have cash. She was like, Venmo. And we were like, okay. This is an Uber driver?

No, this is a New York City yellow cab. Oh, it's a cab. Okay, it's an actual cab. Uh-huh. And he goes, and a bus was trying to merge as he was trying to merge. Of course. And then the bus won, because it's a fucking bus. And then he veers to the left and almost slams into a parked car.

And I was like, oh, my God. And then we turned with the bus and he, like, was veering again towards the bus. And then the bus driver pulled up to look at him to be like, who the fuck is this? But then couldn't get far enough. So she was looking at me as I was like this. And she just laughed at me. I'm in danger. This bus driver is laughing at me.

And then he takes, oh, also, as we're driving and almost crashing, the music is at full blast. What music is playing? Whatever his culture is. Whatever his appropriate cultural music would be. That's what it is. And I have not isolated what that is exactly. You will not hear.

me try to do an impression of it, I will say it was spirited. Sure. You say it had a cultural flavor that you're sure was delicious. Delicious. I know I had to take a plane to get the authentic version of it. Of course. Or go to Deep Queens.

Shout out Jackson Heights. So then. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Here's somebody speaking of language. You're like, I bet you if I go to Jackson Heights, they got your food and it's incredible. So then he takes a.

He takes a call at full volume. Of course. And is describing us to that person. He's like, I have beautiful black, blacks, blacks. Oh, he put heavy bee and the cast. Black sisters. Black. And we were like, oh, my God.

Turning fully around to call us black queens and sisters. Wow. And then that person described who they had in the car with them. And I was like, Sashir, are we getting trafficked? And then we get to my stop. And then, So she was like, I'm actually getting out with you. And I was like, usually I'm down to clown, but I think you should. I think you've got to get a different car.

And when I'm scared, we're in danger. Sure. And she is getting out. I give him $10 and he was like, 20. And I said, one stop. And he went, tip me, sister. Tit me sister. And then I couldn't stop laughing because I was like, what?

And then Sashir's bag got caught. So I'm holding onto the door so he won't take off because he wouldn't stop. Sure. We got out at a red light in the middle of the road. Yeah. And then we get out. I'm laughing. And he's screaming out the window, tip me, sisters.

Sister, tip me. And you're doing the robot while you're singing a Broadway tune. I'm like, I'm fosciing. I'm like, Roxy! I did hocus, focus. Sisters! It was, yeah, sometimes you attract crazy people. Sure.

And sometimes the crazy finds you. Yeah. I had an interesting cab story that happened recently. Oh. I was in Pittsburgh doing shows. and my buddy Dan came with me to open and Friday night we had kind of like really had a night. We went to like an after hour spot

we had got like pretty lit and the next morning just nothing would go right for him he was like he was like all I need is like a coffee and a breakfast sandwich. That's all I need if I get a coffee and a breakfast sandwich I'll feel fine, I'm hung over whatever. He like Googles this coffee shop we go to it he tries to push the door open

it's locked. Same thing happens at a second location. This is also a Saturday morning This one coffee shop should be the most open. Truly. He goes to a place, tries to open the door. It says it's open on Google, locked again. Then we go past this one place, literally on the door, it says breakfast sandwiches and coffee.

That's like their shit. That's what they do. We and him go in there, we try to order, they go, hey, you can't order it at the register. You've got to order at the kiosk. There's no. But there is a guy at the register. There's a guy at the register, but he's like, no, it don't work like that. I'm just here.

Don't worry about what I'm doing. And then we like go on the kiosk and Dan's looking and he was like, I don't, there's no breakfast sandwiches on here. And he goes, hey man, like, are you still serving breakfast? And the guy goes, what time is it? Dan goes, it's 11.05. He goes, breakfast stops at 11. And he goes, well, like, can I get a coffee?

He goes, coffee machine's not working right now. And then, then me and day get an Uber. We like want to go to this like vintage spot and we get in the car. It's like been raining. It's been raining. the rain is like paused. We're driving, and as we're driving, the driver has his window down. Dan's on the driver's side.

He has his window up. We're driving on this street, kind of fast. The driver hits a puddle. Somehow, some way. We're in an SUV, so we're high up. Somehow, some way, the water from the puddle on the ground jumps up through the driver's side window, goes past the driver, splashes Dan right in the face. it is one of the hardest times I've laughed in my entire life.

I couldn't breathe. My friend couldn't have been having a worst experience and I couldn't catch my breath because I was having so much enjoyment at how comically bad things were going for him. If I were him, I would have gone home. He wanted to. There would be nothing out there for me

after street water splashed in my fucking face in a vehicle. Pittsburgh water. And then y'all had shows that night? Yeah, then we had shows. Was it the best sets of his life? No, actually they were worse than the one before. The Friday, the Friday one was substantially better than what happened on Saturday. Having that day and then bombing?

Yeah. I would be like, well, comedy. Maybe it's not for me. That's a rap. Maybe I got to learn a trade. Better get out of here? Sure. That's wild.

Yeah. Damn. Less whimsical than yours, but equal. still made me laugh a lot. I was hung over at a restaurant in New York. And I was with Sashir and our other friend, Josh. And I was like, I don't think I could eat anything. I'm not doing well.

And the server was like, and for you? And I was like, I don't want anything. I'm just going to watch them eat. It's my kink. And it was during Pride weekend. And he just looked at me and went. And I was like, how do I come back from that? I just was trying to get a smile.

Anything? Nothing? Can I say I really like seeing, I really like seeing my friends who used to live in New York who have since moved to L.A. Come back to New York because they lose all their sense for however long they're there. And they live like little animals. They live like little, they come back and they party, but they don't know how to deal with it anymore because they've been out here doing crunches and drinking juice.

So they don't know what it's like to live like a nocturnal alcoholic lifestyle like we live in New York City. And they always end up being like hurt. and they start smoking cigarettes again. I love it when y'all come back. I love it when y'all come back. Y'all are so, you're so much more fun when you come back to the city than you are in L.A. Well, that happened, and I was so sad I didn't get up,

like a little laugh. And I went down, have you been to cafeteria? Yes. So the bathroom's downstairs. I went to the bathroom, and it's a weird communal bathroom. So there's, like, a sink in the middle, and the individual, like, full door stalls. And I go in one, or I push the first one,

And it said vacant, but it was locked. And I said, I move on. I go to the second one. It opens. I go. I'm peeing. And then someone pushes on the door. And I didn't say anything because I was like, surely they have to move on.

And then it felt like this person went. They said, I got to use this one. I got to. I got to. And I went, Jesus Christ, give me a second. And then I finished my business. I go out. There's a woman here, a woman here, a man.

here and the lights had gone out. And I said, Jesus fucking Christ, whoever was banging on the door, the bathroom is yours now. And then the man said nothing and walked into an empty stall. Not the stall I was in.

So there was another stall open. The woman standing here ran away that way. And then the other lady here went into my stall and went, I was not the one banging. And I was like, what the fuck? What? It was so weird.

witnessed the guy, she witnessed the guy banging. She witnessed the lady who ran away or that man banging. Maybe you gotta stay in L.A. for a little bit. Maybe. It every day got weirder and weirder. Sure, but it does sound like kind of weird and like a fun way. Oh, I'm always having a nice time. That's weird shit happens to me all the time.

Oh, interesting. I attract a certain kind of energy, but I'm okay with that. Like Kim Whitley said, you're different. Let me tell you. Let me tell you, I am bad at keeping up with my hair. I know it. I know what I look like. And a black woman of a certain age is going to let you know about that.

She's going to let you know about it. She's not going to let you know about it. And then the comments, a bunch of them were just like, oh, no, home growth. She said something about her hair? No. Oh, but the people are, I see it. But everyone was like, oh, no. And her hair looks like that.

She got them nappy-ass edges. And she's calling her different and talking about white men. You know what they say? hard wig, soft white. And I was like, I do know what they say. But here's the thing. I could gel my edges down. They will not stay down.

Interesting. I could try. I could do all the things. This does need to be rebrated. You ever do baby hairs? I can't. You can't. No.

Like, my hair just doesn't do it. And I've had hair people do it. And it'll just look real fucking crunchy because that's just not my hair. This is how my hair grows naturally. It's naturally very fuzzy. I have very soft hair. Soft hair, soft life. That could be a new saying, people said.

Soft hair, everyone harasses you. But it is one of the meanest reads that one can say. Because you know what they're talking about. I knew what she was talking about. But when I heard her say it, I heard her say it with love, I think it was just sort of like, she just was sort of like, oh, I don't know. I'm like this is this is kind of a new type of person to me

you know what I'm saying that's how I read it you're just I wasn't her Ms. Pat they are I think tickled and delighted by me but confused and confound it because they're like what is this yeah yeah yeah what is this well because you couldn't it's like

because we grew up in an era where it was like you could you could you could be a little more different they didn't have that no no you couldn't be you couldn't be that in the 80s. Like, Miss Pat has a daughter who's a lesbian and she will tell you at any point in time you're talking to her. She'll be like, well, my daughter's a lesbian because that's different to her.

And she's like, and I accept it and I need to tell you about it. She needs to talk about it. She's so fucking funny. I love her so much. A legend. You were in the city when the Knicks won? I wasn't. You weren't?

I wasn't. I was at the game when the Knicks won the championship. Oh, you were? I was in San Antonio. I'm a Spurs fan. Oh. Yes. I'm from Texas.

Okay. Well, don't do that. Oh, I forget you're from Jersey. I'm from Jersey. It's the East Coast thing. The Knicks hadn't won in such a long time. It was like beautiful. You know, and if the Knicks...

And you can't appreciate that fucking beauty because you like a... You like the Spurs. I can't appreciate the beauty. I really actually can't appreciate the beauty. If they were playing literally any other team in the NBA, I would have been so excited for the Knicks to win a championship.

It's because they beat my favorite team from, like, growing up. And because the way that my team lost was like so impossibly embarrassing. because we were supposed to win. Literally every game was a winnable game. We were never getting blown out. Every single game was... Yeah, y'all lost by one point on one of the games? All of them?

All of them? Or no, no, not one point. One game was one singular point. Yes. And every single game was winnable, including the championship game. There was a game where we were up by 30, which was an all-time lead.

Nobody's ever been up by 30 points. Nobody in the history of the NBA finals. Then we lost. We set the record for league gained, and we set the record for lead. lost. That should never happen. So I had mixed feelings about it, but ultimately in the aftermath, like in the kind of like aftershocks of it, the city's never felt more up. Right. The city's never felt more up. I was so happy I wasn't there to see the city celebrate the

championship. Have you seen the pictures? Yeah. Yeah, I've seen all of it. It was all over my feed. It was all over, as you could imagine, a person who lives in New York City. I got to see he's climbing on top of escalades and breakdancing on the sidewalk. Did you see the lady who climbed on a light post the white lady wouldn't let her down and then she pulled her pants down and she twerked okay i didn't catch that one okay the video's incredible i saw the guy with the foot in his mouth i didn't see that one we'll we'll do a media exchange we'll do a media exchange i'll show you this foot stuff but this lady's trying to get down this other lady won't move so when she finally gets down pop pop pop and then that lady gets off and then she runs back and pulls her pants down this bitch is wearing an orange thong of course

Head to toe Nix colors. And then she starts twerking on like a barricade. And then she drops into a split and then gets off of them, pop, pop, pop. It's great. It's one of my favorite videos of all time. Yeah, we're going to need to. But I say all this to say, like, the vibes in the city felt like pre-pandemic.

And here's what I need from the city. I need to find a fucking dinner anywhere I want after 10 p.m. In L.A. or in New York? In New York. You can't find dinner after 10 p.m.? No. It was like 11.30, maybe 12. Okay.

Really different times. Here's the thing. When I lived in the city, 10 years ago, you can get a dinner almost anywhere at 11.30, 12. Midnight feels like a real cutoff. No. Midnight feels like a real cutoff. There were so many restaurants that you could just like find. You could just walk around and find them.

You could get a diner. You can get a diner at midnight. You can. But you're not like real restaurant? Not, well, food. Oh, sure. Food. You get bodega.

You get bodega in a minute. No. Okay. Sit down, food. Listen. You're not born and raised. I'm really not. I went to a bar.

I was with Sechere the whole time. She was in the bathroom. I like how that everything interesting that happens with you, Shashir. I once dated a man and he went, so do you have another friend? And I was like, yeah, I do. I do. And I made a point to be like, well, this friend, this one over here, Carl.

I don't know. I always use Carl as an example. So she went to the bathroom and I asked the bartender. I was like, do you know where we get food right now? He's like, what time is that? I was like, food, food? Nah. And I was like, I lived here 10 years ago.

What neighborhood were you in? We were by NYU. Oh, that is surprising. Yes. That is surprising. You're with the kids. Yes. Yeah.

We were the oldest people out on the street. And I said, we got to get out of here. East Village is, yeah, you're not going to find me over there. No. And that's none of my business. No. But I said to him, I was like, 10 years ago, you could find food everywhere. And he went on every corner.

And I was like, well, I mean, not. He was like, well, more was open. I was like, okay, now you're screaming at me. Okay. But speaking of which, I think people just want togetherness. And this is a dating podcast, and we've talked nothing about dating. No. Mars printed out from USA Today, Goblin, Tennessee.

Oh, I felt like I was having a stroke. Yeah, that was. I didn't I was worried about you as you were saying those words and I couldn't tell if you were saying them bad or if the word is bad I think the word is bad I believe it Goblin timacy Goblin intimacy yes yes yes I get you is a dating trend that flips all the rules It says hate it already be careful So what if showing up on a first date as the most polished put together a version of yourself but instead you showed up as a Goblin Which I guess is

like you look nasty? Why would you do that? Why would you want to do that? What's the upside? It might sound counterintuitive. It does. But daters are doing it. Okay.

While some dating trends involve concealing your truest self, and that's called kitten fishing? Everything has a fucking name. Everything doesn't need a name. That's so fucking wild. And also it's like, I feel like they're trying, it very much feels like they're trying

to make fetch happen. You know what I'm saying? Yes. It's just like y'all are just saying and y'all are just combining some shit together and being like, people are doing this now. And it's like, no, they're not. No, they're not. You and two other people you knew did it. It's not, people aren't doing this.

Anyway, go ahead. I guess the thought process is like, this is me at my worst, take it or leave it. No. No. That's never been the way it's supposed to work. You're supposed to present your best foot forward. Yes. And then you let your ultimately bad qualities show themselves as time passes.

Or you show up So with the nice man in my life I showed up looking I didn't dress dress up I just wore like an outfit that I felt nice in And I was also like podcasting that day So I like wore something that I was podcasting in Sure

Did my makeup But then I was like pretty much myself And then that was like consistent Until we like went to a fancy dinner And then I like really dressed up But then you know There was times where like he slept over but I did not take off my makeup.

Was it because... Wait, actually, I'm a liar. With this one, I did. I took it all off, put my bonnet on and said, have you ever seen a bonnet? And he said, yeah, Marge Simpson wears one on The Simpsons. Does she? I don't know.

I've seen one... March... I also, I haven't seen, like, very much The Simpsons at all. I've only seen one episode. Yeah. I don't like Bart. I don't... I don't like Homer.

Yeah, and those are some of the main... I don't like the girl. Lisa. And then the baby. Maggie. I'm not down with these people. You do like Marge. I only like Marge.

She's the only black one. Well, yeah, she sleeps in a bonnet. Oh, that's really funny. That's incredible. I love the shape of her head. I love that that yellow woman. Oh, that sounds tough.

That sounded real tough. Yeah, it didn't sound the way you wanted to. Yellow woman. Because the full sentence was, I love that that yellow woman is teaching my man about black culture. And that sounds crazy. Yeah, it doesn't. She's literally yellow.

She's a yellow woman. Yeah, so I don't know what else you could. And on another episode, I was like, maybe she is black. And then the comments were like, no, the black people on that show are black. The yellow ones are yellow. See, there is something complicated in the Simpsons logic with that. Because it's like Marge's hair, the texture. Yes.

That's a naked texture. Yes, that's Afro. She's the same hair as Gerald from Hay Arnold, who is. Wait, do I know, Hey Arnold? That's the football head kid. Yeah, the football head kid, and his best friend is a black kid, same head shape as Mark Simpson. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do know what he looks like.

You know what I mean? Yeah, he looks like, hey Arnold, but his hair is yet. Yeah, that's Mark Simpson hair. That's the exact same hair as March Simpson. But there are actual black people in the Simpson, so I am. Maybe she's mixed. But her last name, her last name is Boudavut, or her maiden name, is like Creole. Her people are, okay, her people from Louisiana.

They make a lot of yellow people down there. They do. Shout out the Nolz family. Arthur, black or white? Oh, black, easy. Right? That's easy. Okay.

He's like, that's basically, Arthur's family is basically the Huxdibles. And Bob Marley's son, I think, sings the theme song. Oh, yeah, it was one of the Marleys. It's very, hey, hey, hey. It's very Caribbean for some reason. I think they're a Caribbean family. It's a wonderful kind of day.

Not only is Arthur Black, he's Jamaican. He's Jamaican. Or he's, actually, I think he's Bayesian. Oh, sure. About Rihanna. So wait, date, okay, goblin to Missy is the cousin of goblin mode. No. What is goblin mode?

I'm familiar with goblin mode. Goblin mode is when you're, like, in the crib for, like, a long time and you, like, draw the shades. Isn't that bed rotting? I think those things go together. I think they're interchangeable. That's so wild. You seem young enough to be able to answer these questions. Yeah, goblin mode is like when I'm not expecting anyone to see me and I'm just being a little goblin in my hole, you know.

Mm. The bed rotting is... When you're just in bed all day, kind of scrolling on your phone maybe. Oh. There's some overlap. Yeah, there's over. So goblin being goblin mode? Uh-huh.

That's living room. Bed rot is bedroom? I guess that's, yeah. Yeah, it seems that way. Kitchen crawling. Yeah, sure, sure. You're in the kitchen eating? What is that?

Kitchen mousin? Being hungry. There's no word for it yet. There's no word. I mean, I'm sure somebody's coined it. What did you do today? I was kitchen mousin. Yeah.

Okay. You got to get clivicular on here. Honestly, I do. I'm so curious to hear. I need to see y'all interact. I think it would be, I don't think he would understand me. I don't think I would understand him. That's why it'd be beautiful.

Two people speaking English being like, what, huh, what, yeah, because he doesn't know how to articulate what his like thesis statement is on the looks max and shit. Sure. Wait, there was another maxing thing that I learned about. looks maxing. There's a lot of different maxings. There's so many fucking thing. So there's a new dating trend. It's just leaving people baffled and heartbroken.

It's called bankseeing. What is this? What does this mean? Oh, wait. Maybe that was a, I'm supposed to click on that. Okay. Oh, okay. That's like a,

because, I try to get you to a separate tab. Yeah, yeah. And this has been printed from the internet. So how do you feel about goblin maxing? Would you do? Or goblin to Missy? Would you do it?

No, absolutely not. What? I don't understand what the upside's supposed to be. I think it's like, this is me at my worst, so like like it. No, but I think the whole thing of like seeing someone at their worst is that they've established enough goodwill. You know what I'm saying? They've established you've got enough of rapport that you're like, yo, I know all the good parts of you. So like I see, now I'm seeing the ugly part of you.

But I already love so much of you that the ugly part I love too. Or I at least can look past. I don't understand. leading with the ugly foot forward just feels, I don't know, feels like a good way to get no hose. You don't know, like, I just like, I guess, like, what's your goal here? Like, what's your ultimate goal? Like, I don't know what, I guess different people could be in dating for different reasons,

but like, it's like, to me, Gobble Maxine sounds like, oh, what if we, what if we started the movie at, like, the most, what if we skipped the beginning of the movie when everybody was figuring everything out? And we just got to the part where all the scary stuff's happening. And it's like, well, okay, like this doesn't, this isn't the right context for me to be seeing this. I need some buildup before I get to the scary part. I also, I don't go to like restaurants and sweatpants. Like, I like to wear nice-ish clothes.

Sure. You know? I don't know. Unless it's like a look I'm trying out. Right, right, right. But for the most part, like, I don't want to wear my house clothes outside. Right? Trying to do a different thing.

Especially not on a date. Like on a date, to me, it's like you want to feel good. good. You want to be wearing something that makes you feel good. So if you got your goblin fit on, then it's like, then you don't feel like, you don't feel like the best version of yourself, you're not putting your best foot forward. And then nobody's happy. Every time you say goblin,

it's reminding me of Willem Defoe in Spider-Man. And I'm just imagining, like, the youth showing up to dates, like, yeah. Eat a Parker. Have you watched it recently? It's like, it's on TV.

I feel like every single. time I'm like in a hotel room. It's also all like I'll watch like, I feel like once a month I will watch like nine minutes of that movie. I don't know why, but I want to play Willem Jafo's love interest in a movie. I would love that. I think we would just be in a very interesting pairing. He's famously packing heat.

He got big dick? You don't know about this? No. They had to like see, they had to like CGI it out of like something he was in because it was like distracting. I'm dying. You said that and Mars started. typing. Oh yeah, I could find, I found a screenshot.

Oh, this dick? Yeah, I guess it's from an old video. Whoa! From 1985. Oh, wow. Oh! Okay, I didn't realize it was going to be, I thought, okay, I thought we were going to be talking print. Wow, he's looking happy. That's huge. I mean, how could you not? You got that going on. Wow. You're going to walk around with a smile on your face. And what's this woman doing?

It seems like they're doing some kind of experimental play of some sort. It's the 80s in New York. You know, they're doing some kind of... They're doing a lot of weird shit. Wow. Yeah, is that... Would you say Willem Defoe's your top kind of like interracial, on-screen love interests?

I have... Especially, did that change anything for you? I have a whole list. Oh. Of olds. They're old men that I love. Okay. I call them my stable.

Let's talk about it. Okay. Please hold. Also, this is a video if you want to see it in motion. Oh, my God. Wait, there's a video? Yeah. Wait, it looks smaller in the video.

you. Let me see it in motion. Oh, my God. Yeah, one took. Okay, here's all the men in my stable that I love. Joe Pesci, Harvey Keitel, Joe Pantileone, Sam Elliott, Willem DeFoe, Ed Harris, Ernie Hudson, who's not white, Ben Kingsley, who's not white, Delroy Linda, who's not white, Denzel Washington, who's not white, Morgan Freeman, Samuel L. Jackson, they're all not white. Tim Robbins, Tony Goldwyn, and then Patrick Swayze, but he did, and then Tony Soprano.

Also dead. Yes. Some of those guys are really old. Yeah. Some of those guys are like... Joe Pesci is my ultimate. If that man knocked on my door tomorrow... You letting him...

I would leave my whole life for him. Pesci? Joe Pesci. The Wet Bandit? Yeah. Or Vinny for my cousin Vinny. Yeah. I guess, I mean, I did many illustrious credits.

My whole life. Okay, let's do that dick swing. Whoa! What the fuck is this? This is so wild and this lady's not doing a thing. No, she's doing much less. I love it. Let's take a break.

We talk a lot about love and dating on this show. But one important thing that doesn't get talked about enough is our sexual health. That's why I'm so excited to partner with Care for the Culture sponsored by Gilead Sciences. Care for the Culture is an amazing movement focused on helping normalize conversations. around HIV prevention in black communities. And we're doing this without shame, fear, or judgment because knowing your HIV prevention options, getting tested, and having honest conversations with your partners

shouldn't feel awkward. It should feel empowering. Care for the culture is all about keeping it real, taking care of yourself and your people, and making sexual health a normal part of everyday conversation. Whether you're actively dating in these streets, in a relationship or somewhere in between, having information and support matters. You can go on their site and find tips on breaking the ice and getting the conversation started.

We are building a whole new generation of daters with no shame and no stigma. So go get informed. Learn more about HIV prevention testing and how to start the conversation at carefortheculture.com and speak with your health care provider. We're back. It's time for a little game. We're calling red flags and real talk. My producer Mars is going to read us some wild dating scenarios. Then with our little flags, we have to decide.

Is this a beautiful, sexy green flag or a big red flag? Devon! Yeah. Get your flags ready. It sounds like I'm saying a slur. Look at them two flags over there. Waving around in the wind. Big ass flags.

It's a tough word. Yeah. All right, Mars. God, what word was like that? God, I was saying it with Chloe Trost on that. Vigour. Vigour. Doing something with vigor.

And knickers. You know what I'm saying? You're just like, yeah, no, that is the word. Yeah, it's a little tough. Damn, you're right there. Yeah. All right. The first dating scenario.

Mm-hmm. What about if your partner claps when the plane lands? claps when the plane ends. I'm going to go ahead and say green flag because as someone who was dated a Jamaican woman, that's just part of it. If you go, if a lot of Caribbean countries when the plane touches down,

people start clapping. And yeah, as a Jamaican lover in my life, yeah, that's going to be a green flag for me. Okay. So when I first heard it, as someone who flies a lot, I was like red flag I don't want that

but I love enthusiasm I like when somebody is like oh boy I'm so happy we landed safe and like if they're a nervous flyer it's like that makes you feel good I'll clap with you I clap for less sure the nice man in my life

brought me ice cream and I started weeping and clapping oh that's beautiful that sounds really really lovely sometimes he'll say to me I haven't made you cry in a minute but he means like tears of joy yes Oh my God. You're a happy cryer.

Oh, yeah. You feel feelings really big. Yes. Oh, that's beautiful. Sometimes it's overwhelming. Yeah, I bet. I mean it's a lot to walk around with them on some occasions, much like Willem Defoe.

I'm the Willemdiffo. That's the podcast title name. According to the survey answer, you're wrong. That's apparently a red flag. Really? That's anti-Caribbean. See? It's anti-Caribian and anti-Jolian.

They'd be culturally biased. See, we're seeing it. I'll tell you this. What's up? I was on a plane and this woman came on the loudspeaker. Or no, the flight attendant was like, we have someone special aboard. And then this woman came on and she was like, hello. My name is Susan.

Your pilot is George. George is my husband. He has worked for Delta for over 40 years. We are happy to have him home because this is his last flight. This is his last flight ever he is retiring. He is my honey. He is a honey-do list. We are so proud of him.

I love him so much. This woman was so nervous. And then we all clapped. And I was, I clapped too because I was like, that is so sweet. She loves this man so much that she went on his last flight across the country. And decided to say something nice about him. And then this man slammed us out of the sky into the ground. I said, get him out of here quicker.

Don't let him drive us to the gate. He got to go. He said, we got to put him down. You gotta get out. I couldn't believe it. Like he landed really like. Yes, it was as if we fell out of the sky. Oh, no.

We all went, yay. And then he said, we're starting our descent on my last flight ever. And then when we landed, I was like, ah! Like, it was wild. You was clapping in a different type of way. You was clapping a type of way. My chicks. My chicks was clapping because I said, I'm about to ship myself.

Okay, Mars. Hit us with another. All right, next one. They remember your coffee order. That's a green flag. That can't be anything but a green flag. I don't see how that could be anything else. Remembering your comments.

coffee order, that's sweet. That's a sign of love. What is your coffee order? I'm doing double shot of espresso. I'm not really a coffee drinker like that, so I'm trying to drink like a very small amount at a time. Fair. I do a large iced Americano with two extra shots. And then they always go, do you understand that six shots of espresso? And I say, yeah, let's die today. Well, I have ADHD. You're awake. I can drink it and go to sleep. God bless. I know. Okay. All right. Next. Wait, according to the survey, were we right? Okay. Yes, it says. what if their lock screen is a picture of themselves?

That's going to be a red flag, but I will say that's going to be a big red flag for me in particular, but I will say just based on the facts that Nicole's facial expression changed, I do fear that her lock screen might be a picture of herself. It feels possible. Okay. So I would have said red flag without an experience. So the nice man in my life, his lock screen, was a picture of himself. Oh.

And I said, wow, wild that you have a picture of yourself as your lockscreen. And he was like, you have a picture of yourself as just the background of your phone. And mine is just a normal picture of myself. Yours is insane. And I was like, what? No. And then I looked at it and I was like, oh, it actually is. So that's the picture that.

And I said that that man was weird by having a nice picture of himself. That's the picture that I have. Oh, my God. Well, apparently it's a red flag. Ah, yeah, okay. Yeah, it feels like a red flag. You want to see the background of my phone? Yeah. It's Whoopi Goldberg winning her Oscar for the movie Ghost.

That's true. That's true. You knew that off rip. And the Oscar's not even in her hand. Yeah, that's why I was like, how did you know that you can't even really see the Oscar in this background? Because I love Whoopi Goldberg. Sure. I love her so much.

Incredible career. Here's my pitch for Ghost 2. You didn't ask for it. Let's hear it. So Whoopi Goldberg, still Otamay Brown, still has the gifts. She's got a shop up in Brooklyn. Bedsteads, gentrifying. She doesn't love it.

I have a white boyfriend. She also doesn't like that. Then, oh, no, someone comes in, kills her. The gift is transferred to me, her daughter. Okay. And she now assumes Patrick Swayze's part. She's the ghost. And then we find out that my boyfriend was Carl.

Patrick Swayze? No, that's Sam We. Carl is his friend. Oh, sure. Who dies when the thing goes into him. So Carl only knows that Odomay and Molly were at his dad's death. So he's like, I'm going to get back at Oda May and Molly. So he kills Oda May.

And then we have to go save Molly again from Carl's son. I'm signed up. Where do I invest? They won't give me the rights. But I figured if I say it on a podcast, maybe. Oh, you've been talking about this. I've been saying it so much. I thought this was just something that'd been in the back of your head.

No, this is something you've been talking about. I've written a bit of a treatment, too. Like, I... It's a real thing. I really want to do it. Because it's a second beat, but it's not retreading the whole thing again. Sure. It's not a complete, it's not a full reboot, but it is like...

It's in the same world. Beep, boop, bap, boop. I'm losing my mind. I like you. The six shots. Is it a greener red flag if they know their sexual health status? Oh. Red flag.

Keep that shit to yourself. No, it is an absolute green flag. I think if you are dating, if you are romantically invested or interested or participating, getting involved, get involved and know your stats. Know your stats. That's a green flag. You got to know what you got going on. Get tested. Yes. And if you know what's going on and if you need medication, you can get on it, you know. or you can get on preventative medication. Like, it's good.

Whatever that might look like. Whatever that might look like for you. It's all accessible. It's 2026. Yes, yes. Green flag. Green flag. Correct answer.

What if they say protection kills the mood? Green flag. Green flag. They got it right. Yeah. Give me that dick. Yeah, we need to throw it all. No, that's a red flag.

Yeah, it's a red flag. Yeah, it's a red flag. It is a red flag. All jokes aside. Because it's like a cop. Because it's like a condom kills the mood? What? No.

Not in my experience. No. Or like I can't feel anything. It's like condoms, they're thin. There's a lot of different types of condoms. Yeah. And there's dental dams. Which I've never known of anyone to actually get involved with.

Me either. But they do exist. I've only ever had them either because somebody came to my high school or college. Yeah. Or because I like was. at the STD clinic and like picked one up, kind of as a joke out of the bowl, you know, to like bring to somebody that I was talking out with being like, wouldn't it be funny? We use our dental dam?

We used our dental dam? Yeah, me free, but what do we try that? And she's like, no. And I'm like, yeah, now you're right. Yeah, you're right. In college, I mean, if you want to call it college, I was in school, a man, a man, I feel like he was wearing like a unitarred, a onesie. Oh.

And he was like, condoms, dental dams. If you don't have a dental dam, pull out that saran wrap. Oh, that was a big theme of, what was that movie with Jamie Fox? Booty Call. Ray. DeJango. If Ray was it. If Jamie Fox's playing Ray Charles,

was just like, hey, I can't see nothing what's going on down there. So I'm going to need you to go ahead and wrap that shit up so I could eat it. Yeah. All right, next. I'm dying. Yeah. Is it a greener red flag if they are getting tested regularly? that is a green flag.

Green flag. Yeah. You got to know your status. Get tested. If you're active, you know, you know what's up. Every couple of months, I would think. If you're having different partners. You got to get, you got to know.

Also, if you're having the same partner and you're having doubts or you read their diary and they're cheating on you. Sure. Go ahead and get to the bottom of that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think it's good to know because sometimes SDDs, you could be with the same partner, but like the SDD goes like dormant for like 10 years. Uh-huh. And then it could actually come back.

And so thoroughly I do always hear about this. I hear about this. Like HPV, right? HPV flares on and off. I've heard about this. It's like a, it's like a boogeyman. And it honestly, it scares me so bad. Well, HPV doesn't affect men.

Did you know that? Not HPV specifically. Oh, herpes? Just the idea of them being like, yeah, some stuff's just like in there. And you don't know. And you know when it's going to come back. Herpes? Yeah, I've heard that about herpes.

Because it's like you sometimes don't have an outbreak and then you do have an outbreak. I've heard about that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And you should disclose. what you got? Yeah. I had a situation where I found out

kind of after the fact, she was like, oh yeah, just so you know. Nothing's going on right now, but I got it. I was like, hey. I think that's, you got to let somebody know. You got to give me a heads up on that. Because then that person can make a choice.

Sure. Because then it's like, if you tell me after, it's like, well, maybe. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? But I didn't get to decide this time. No, and that sucks.

I'm sorry. That happened too. you. I didn't get it. I steered clear. I'm still sorry. You were in that situation. You guys are right. You got to get tested. It's important. Yes. All right. Next. What if their entire personality is crypto? You know, follow-up question. Are they getting... How much money? Yeah. Are they getting bread off it? You know what I'm saying? Because it's like if you, if you're a whole personality's crypto, you taking me on vacation. That's a green flag. That's going to be a green flag. If your whole thing is crypto.

And it's all on me. And I'm picking up every tab. Yeah. That's going to be a big. Also, as somebody who dates women, there's no women who are like heavy on crypto like that. Not that I've come across at least. Why is it? I don't know.

Why is crypto for boys? This is my investigative journalism series. Why is crypto for boys? Have you ever met any girl crypto? No. I've also never seen a woman driving a cyber truck. No, no, no, no. There's just like some things that are like for the,

man. Can I speak my truth about the cyber truck? Yeah. I think it's cool. Here's what I'll say about it. I do think the cyber truck looks cool, but only in like certain circumstances. I think the cyber truck, if the cyber truck's in like a music video or like a like an action movie, I think it looks awesome. If the cyber truck's in like the new Batman, that's incredible. If you're taking the cyber truck and you're picking your son up from soccer practice, somebody should take you outside and hit you with a bat. it's it looks so

you look so crazy going to the grocery store and what like using it in normal life you look like a loser if it's if we're in like a post-upacola if you like if you rented it it to like drive around in the desert for like a bachelor party excellent use if you gotta

if you are if you have a family if you are like driving it into your garage and then it like sleeps where you live that's something I really can't co-sign it sleeps where you live honestly my hot take on the cyber truck I also don't hate it because every car now is just an SUV and I find that to be boring.

True. And I do think it is a wild design. Is it aesthetically pleasing? Absolutely not. But I appreciate. If it was in a video game. Sure. You know what I'm saying? If you were like playing like a racing car game and you saw that,

you'd be like, sick, I'm going to drive this thing. Yeah, I'd be like, wow, look at this old school high tech thing. Like it looks like it was, it looks like I watched a movie. Yes. I think it was alien. Okay. Or aliens. One of them.

I don't know. They drive a thing in it and I was like, that looks like a cyber trap. Sure. So I feel like he like ripped it from a movie or something. Totally. It feels like it could be in like Robocop. Yeah. Or something like that.

A fucking Robocop is fun. What if they still have their ex's Netflix profile? You know what? That's actually an interesting one. How old? I'm like, I need context. How old are they? I'm no for their context.

You know what I mean? Because I'm like, If we're, let's say we're 24, you still got your exes, Netflix, we can live on that. Sure. We can live on that. If we're, if you're 36, that's going to be a red flag because I'm like, I'm going to want you, I'm going to need you to, I'm going to need you. I think truly by the time you hit, like, a certain point of your 30s, you should have only, you should have all your own accounts. I don't think you should be on a bunch of other different accounts.

I got, I got all my own accounts. Once I got logged out of like certain, I was on my, like, homie Gary's girlfriend's HBO. Really? Yeah, like... That's really funny. At this point, I'm on SN up. And, like, I remember I got logged out of it. I was, like, trying to watch Succession.

And I got logged out of Gary's girlfriend's account. And I started to text her and be like, hey, got logged out. Can you send me the password? And I was like... No, I can't be doing that. I got $14 a month. That's really funny. And I just started doing that with everything.

I was like, I can do it. Once I got logged out or whatever other accounts I was on, I was like, I can't keep looking like this. I'm going ahead and say red flag because that's how I found out. that a guy I was seeing was seeing somebody else while he was seeing me. That he... It was YouTube. Okay.

So you can make like a YouTube family. And I think that's what it's called. You can like add like five people to your family. So when he added me, I saw that there was a woman already in there. And what happens is it doesn't send an email to the daddy, the owner. Okay. So his ex-girlfriend was in there. Okay.

And I was like, okay, for some reason, I'm not going to say anything. Sure. So I didn't say nothing. And then we were like still together, but not really. We were trying to work on shit. Oh, it was in that kind of. But we were talking. It's a muddy period.

Yes. But then he added another bitch to the YouTube family. That wasn't his ex. A different. No, a different woman. Were you ever in the YouTube family? Yes. That's how I was getting this information.

You know, it was all in the YouTube. He had three different women in the YouTube family together. My dude is doing YouTube polygamy. He's a YouTube polygamous. They may have multiple wives in there. I was like talking to a psychic to be like, should I be with this guy? Like shady shit's happening.

Google was literally like he's cheating on you. Google was saying that? I mean, essentially because I got an email from YouTube. And then I had Googled, you ever use Wiki Howe? I don't think so. Okay. What's going on on Wikihow? Wiki How just is for people.

who maybe are on the spectrum and don't know how to do a thing. So I'll give you step-by-step instructions on how to do a thing. And you're looking at that? Oh, yeah, man, because you're not going to embarrass me. But I had looked up, is he cheating? And it was a picture of a man who looked similar to this man and then a black woman in bed, like wide awake. And I was like, WikiHaw is also telling me he's sleeping with somebody else. Is that how you were laying in bed in bed?

I mean, basically, I'd be like laying in bed staring at him being like, like, are you? Interesting. It's fun. We're having fun. Okay. All right. What if they get weird when you bring up HIV testing?

Red flag, red flag. It's a red flag. You got to know. You got to know. It's important. You got to know your sexual health status. It's better to know. You don't want to be in the dark.

Yes. Don't get weird about it. Have a conversation. Yes. There's an episode of Sex in the City where Samantha's asked if she's had an HIV test and she hadn't and she's pretty promiscuous. Yeah. And then at brunch, she was like, wait, this is weird.

You girls, you haven't had an HIV test. And they're all like, no, we've all been tested. So then she has to go get tested. And it's a great scene where they're like, do you use condoms? And she's like, mm-hmm. And they're like, what kind? She's like, all of them? Lamb, latex.

Like, it's just so funny. But I do love how television shows will tackle it. And it's like, and try to destigmatize it because it's not weird. No. No your shit. Yeah. All right. Next, that's correct.

What if they say every one of their exes was, crazy. Oh. That should be like automatic red flag. But I know I've dated people and I've acted a little crazy, but I was pushed to the crazy.

Maybe somebody did something to make me crazy. No, it's a red flag. Everyone can't be crazy. You're the common denominator. Yeah, you got to look in the mirror at a certain point. Mm-hmm. The man in the mirror.

Did you see Michael? Let's not talk about that. I did. You're correct. That's a red flag. I can see it. What if? they follow 4,000 people and somehow it's all models.

4,000 models is like... All the models in America. Yeah, that's just such a big number if you follow. Green flag. He appreciates the human body. No, I'm kidding. Red flag. I don't love it.

I don't love it. I feel like I have to say red flag. Because it is. It is actually a red flag. 4,000 is just such a huge number. And if it's only models, it's like... It's crazy. Do you have a friend?

His whole mentality is warped. You know what I mean? There was a time. I used to follow some bump models on the internet, but I had to put that time of my life behind me. Really? Yeah, because then it started, then my algorithm started. I mean, this is actually, this is before the algorithm was like more videos.

This is when it was like still like. Pictures. Pictures. I miss that. I wish I could turn on like picture mode. Me too. On my Instagram. I wish that was an option.

Steve Zuckerberg. What's his name? Steve? Mark? Steve's his cousin. Steve's his cousin. Mark Zuckerberg. Make a picture mode.

Yeah. Don't do any more dumb updates. We want picture mode, video mode. Do it. That's good. I would like that. I would like that too. I was just, my algorithm just started getting a little too, a little too sexual.

Sure. In a way that I was like, I had to switch it up. And now my algorithm is like a lot of pictures of like, it's a lot of videos of people making macaroni and cheese. That's mine too right now. I clicked on one too many and it's just macaroni and cheese. I'm getting a lot of that. But look up Gracie Bonn. Gracie Bonn?

Yes. Oh, no. Actually, there's not mac and cheese right now, but it is like, it's a variety. Oh, no, no, no, it's about to switch. It's a lot of like Oh yeah Pulling about that cheesy Yeah it's a lot of like cheese pools

Oh Okay look up Gracie Bond That pizza looks so good Yeah it's a lot It's a lot of cheese pulls Happening on my eyes Look up Gracie Bonn What is that?

Oh there's making cheese Oh then burnt edges look good That looks like lasagna Oh it's spaghetti That's spaghetti That's weird Oh that is That's like baked spaghetti

I'm not there for that That's actually That's not really my shitty Okay Grace Gracie Bonn Gracie. And then we have to finish. Okay, sorry.

See, no, but why'd you do that to me? Why'd you do that to me? I thought there's going to be macaroni and cheese related. Now I Googled this. Now it's just a fucking... It's ass. Yeah, now it's like a BBL white lady. No, she doesn't have a BBL.

She's built like that? She's a lymphedema, which is when your body holds fluid and it just holds fluid on her body in all the right places. But also, she might have a BBL. I don't know this woman. I just watched a lot. of videos. Mars, look her up. I will.

She looks like a cartoon character. Here, show Mars real quick. Ooh. And it moves? You gotta find a video where it moves. I'm so mad you. I'm so mad you. Okay, listen, look at that.

Look at it. Watch it move. Watch it, you gotta watch it. Whoa. Okay, she's gonna turn around soon. Yeah, I'm sure that's always part of it. I think that's real. I don't.

You don't? No, no, I've no woman has ever looked like this. She does. This is crazy. She looks like a drawing. And now this, God, now you got cheese. Now you're going to get cheese out of my algorithm. Now it's not going to be cheese.

Oh, my God. No, just click on some more cheese. Okay. Devin, we did it. Red flag, green flag, one, two, three. Do you have anything you want to promote? Check out my favorite lyrics. It's a podcast that I do.

That's so fun. Nicole's been on it. And we've got something for everybody. We were the only podcast in America to have Chloe Trost and Cash Cobain. So there's something for whatever your flavor is. We got something for your flavor. We got musicians. We got comedians.

And it's a great time. Where the fuck did you grow up? Flugerville? Yeah. It's right outside of Austin. Why is it called Flugerville? Why is there a P and a F? It was started by a German family called the Flugger's.

Flugerville. Flugerville. Yeah. There was a yearly German festival called Deutsche Fest. Did you go? Oh, yeah. It's like where you like got to like hold hands. with your crush.

Aw. That was like, it was like, in middle school, that's like where you could, like, everybody was at Deutsche Fest. You get, like, corn dogs and funnel cakes and stuff like that. They had, like,

little rides put together by Carnies. It was a really nice time. We used up at St. Leo's Carnival. Mm-hmm. Where I showed my tittyes on the skydiver to somebody. That's what I'm talking about. God, that's like...

Good times. I don't, you know, you ever think about that, and you're like, man, like, I live a really fun life as an adult, but I don't know if I'll ever feel the rush that I felt when stuff like that was...

showing my titties to boys. You see, like, seeing, like, seeing titties at, like, 14. I don't think I'll ever feel the way that I felt that day. I don't ever want to feel like I did. Everybody, everybody knows what I came to say. But do you think, sometimes, do you think, okay, do you think, like men become womanizers because they're just chasing the first, Titty they found, like, kind of like a heroin addicts chasing that first high?

I think there's something to that. Wow. And women are just chasing that the first time a man was nice to them? Yeah. And they're chasing like, yeah, they're chasing the boy that was like really nice to them, but ended up being gay. You know what I mean? When I was in school, I had such a crush on this big, tall man. Yeah.

Gay is the day is long. Of course. And I kept telling myself, he's not gay. He's not gay. He's now a drag queen. You should have them on the show. I really should. Have him on the pod.

I once gave him applesau as a gift. Gift four. That's why I'm on WikiHow. I was trying to endear myself to him. I said, you'll like applesauce. What grade were you in? College. Ooh.

I was really hoping you were going to say eight. No, this is in college. Okay, Devin, would you date me? Of course. Yes. Of course. Of course. I like, does anybody ever say no?

Yes. People do say no? Yeah. I wonder. I wonder, I wonder if you and I ever were to date. Like, I feel like you need a lot of, I feel like you, I feel like you need reassurance. And I don't know. Not too much.

Do you like reassurance? That's true. I feel like that's true from. Yes. Yes. Yes. And I've been told it's exhausting. And I've been told that I'm not always the best.

at it. I think I've been told sometimes like, oh, like, I know, I've been told like, oh, I know you love me, I know you care about me, but sometimes I wish you, like, vocalized it more frequently. And like, sometimes I'm like, well, but look, look, come on, look at everything we're doing. We're taking these vacations. I'm doing, we're doing all the stuff. But you got to say it. And like, I was, and that's a thing that I've been working on.

But I think that might be a way in which we would butt heads. I do think we'd have a blast together, though. I didn't think we'd like... I think we'd have a lot of fun. I think we'd get a very little done. You know what I mean? Yeah. Do you ever have somebody where it's like you laugh so much together that it's like, I'd ask for it was like, we would do so many bits that we would like forget we were supposed

to have sex? We'd be like getting ready to do it. And then we'd start doing a bunch of bits and we'd like, oh yeah, we're here to like, we're supposed to be fucking. Yeah. We'd have to be like, all right, okay. The nice man in my life, we had a conversation where he was like, hey, so that thing you do when we kiss sometimes.

it's funny, but like, can you stop it? Yeah, totally. And the thing he's talking about is we would be kissing and I go, and I go, and I thought it was funny, but apparently if you do it more than eight times, it's not funny or endearing anymore. It's a nuisance. We have this in common.

We let the inside voice win sometimes. Yeah. I let it win all the time. Yeah, it's fun. That's why we get to live the life, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I think being comedians just like letting the inside thoughts out. Kind of.

Yeah. Well, this was fun. Had a bless. Thank you so much for doing this. Thanks for having me. If you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you can like it, you could follow it. You can rate it five stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Also, you could tell a friend, a family member, an enemy, somebody you hate. You could recommend the show on Reddit.

It actually helps the show out. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me, I will read it to Why Won't You Date Me Podcasts at gmail.com. Okay, this person writes, this hookup is inspired by your intro that went. you could push me out of a plane and say fly, bitch, and I'd still love you. We're going, we're going, we're going, that's an early one before they all became about come. Who are you texting? We're not done. Oh, I thought it was over. You said, I thought you were just doing your thing.

I thought I wasn't involved anymore. No. Oh, okay. I'm listening. You had already said goodbye to me. I plugged stuff. I thought that was the end. We're going skydiving.

And before you have all your gear on, I push you out of the plane and say fly, bitch. I jump after you and catch up. We have amazing raunchy set. and the exhilaration is so hot, we squirt so much. It looks like a reverse waterfall as we plummet. Aren't you glad you put your phone away? Yeah. As we get closer to the ground, I say, I love you, Nicole.

Now you have to live for the both of us, and I hook all my, I hook all my gear onto you. I splat on the ground and explode. And a few seconds later, the shower of our cum lands on me. Oh. Comedically, you float down and say, damn, that was crazy. Is that a question? No. In my heart it was.

And that's how maybe it came out. It went from silly to like kind of fucked up. This is the type of shit your fan base be on? Yeah, they're great. I love them. Bye! That was a hate gum podcast.