Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - The Male Loneliness Epidemic (w/ Drew Afualo)

Episode Date: May 9, 2025

TikTok star Drew Afualo joins Nicole to share her enemies‑to‑lovers love story and the worst dates that taught her to trust her gut. She tells the time she dated a man who drank ocean water and ended up getting his stomach pumped, walks through her viral list of red flags in men, and the backlash she received online for sharing it. They dig into the male loneliness epidemic, red‑pill culture, and what we can learn from the dating on Love On The Spectrum. Plus, Nicole tells the time she accidentally went on a beach date with a 60‑year‑old comedian, and the story of how banana bread uncovered an affair.Watch this episode here: https://youtu.be/mM7FvATy35gWrite Nicole a dirty message! Send it to [e-mail] with the subject line "Dirty Message" and Nicole may read it in a future episode.Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:» Quince: Treat your closet to a little summer glow-up with Quince. Go to Quince.com/dateme for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.» Equip: To learn more about Equip's virtual eating disorder treatment, visit Equip.Health/dateme» BetterHelp: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/DATEME and get on your way to being your best self.View all of our sponsors and discounts codes at wwydm.notion.site/sponsors.Follow:Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Please tell me why. Ooh baby welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me, a podcast where me and Nicole Byer was trying to figure out why I was still single even though you could come up my window and tell me it was the moon. Ha ha ha ha ha. Period. My guest today is a TikTok sensation, New York Times bestselling author and host of Spotify's

The Comment Section podcast. I'm so happy she's here. It's Drew Alfawalla. Woo! How are you? I'm so wonderful now that I! Woo! How are you? I'm so wonderful now that I'm here. How are you? I'm good.

I'm good. I stabbed myself in the eye this morning, by this morning I mean this afternoon when I was doing my makeup. And that was pretty traumatic, but I survived. You said, but other than that, all 10s. All 10s. She golden. Do you have a, ooh, you have teeth charms. Yes, I have the teeth gems. Tooth gems. Teeth charms, all 10s. She golden. Do you have a, ooh, you have teeth charms. Yes, I have the tooth gems.

Tooth gems. Teeth charms, all the same. You got them teeth charms. It's all the same. Oh my God. So wait, okay, so you joined TikTok because a boyfriend of yours was like, do it. My current fiance, yeah.

Oh, fiance. My now fiance. Ooh, that's so nice. How long have you been dating? This year's our eighth year. That's so nice. How long have you been dating? This year's our eighth year. That's so nice. Oh my God, where'd you meet him? High school, if you can believe it.

No, I simply can't. Yeah, I know, enemies to lovers arc. Wait, really? Yeah, pretty much. Tell me about it. I would say, I mean, we were friends in high school, but he got tall, handsome, and athletic in high school. So recipe for disaster with a young man.

So he was immature and arrogant as I was as well. And then we reconnected after I graduated from college and moved back home. I was actually not talking to him for like two years because he pissed me off about something that I, to this day, can't remember, so clearly it wasn't that important. But I held onto it.

No, it was. Don't do that. I trust myself. Don't disregard your feelings. Do not gaslight yourself. That man did something. Right. I have so many enemies who have done something

that I can't remember. But I know how I felt. I know they did something, because there's a reason. Women's intuition. I'm not just a hateful bitch. Believe women. Okay, I believe me.

Yeah, I believe me too. Hashtag me too, I believe it. What? Yeah, I literally, for real, I was like with him, I was like, yeah, I'm pissed off at you. So I didn't talk to him for like two years. And then he started hitting me up again and again when I was home and I was just ignoring him.

And then eventually he, like one of the last things he said to me before we actually saw each other again was he's like I know you're ignoring me I'm really sorry please let me make it up to you if not you can ignore this and I will stop bothering him and I remember I showed that text to my mom and my mom was like I mean he sounds sorry because my mom knew I was ignoring him for years and then I was like fuck him and then my mom was like I mean if you want you could just go to lunch And then if he still sucks you at least you got a free meal mm-hmm like

Hey, I like that mom Right went to lunch jokes on me now my bitch I'm on the ropes now, but I like that. He seems sorry. Get a free lunch. Because it could have been affirmation that like, oh, this person is still trash. I don't want it. I made a good choice. Or it's like, oh no, I made a mistake.

Not even a mistake. You just took a little bit of time. Right, exactly. And then he was the one who was like, hop on that TikTok. Yeah, he had told me, because I had gotten fired by the NFL. And so, and then two weeks after that happened. Wanna talk about it?

What'd you do? Oh, getting fired. What'd you do? Honestly, nothing. It felt like one of those things where they were like, you need to leave. And I was like, like right now or? You're like, here's what I will say.

When I went into the meeting, I brought my work laptop to take notes. I left the meeting with no laptop because it didn't belong to me You're like, okay, well gotta go Yeah, actually you can leave that you can leave that you just gotta go as soon as they said we're letting you go I said right so no notes I'll lock in just verbally at this point. So, yeah, I got fired and then COVID hit like two weeks after that. And so then, you know, we're at home and everyone was at home, locked down.

And I was like feeling very lost because I had never in my life been fired like that. That wasn't part of my plan, believe it or not. And I really did hate that job, so I did want to leave. I just like, I'm not someone who jumps with no plan. So I was like, I'm going to leave, I'm going to leave. And then they forced me to leave. And so then I felt very lost. And so I think my fiance was just like, why don't you try making videos on TikTok? Because back in college I used to post rants just to like Snapchat

or I would post them to my friends. Now Snapchat's scary, but like at the time it was fine. And I would send them to my friends and just to make them laugh. And so he was like, why don't you do it on TikTok? And he was trying to give me something creative to do because I felt so unsure of myself and I'm not someone, I don't know if you can tell,

who is very unsure of themselves. That's not typically how I feel about me. Typically I think I'm awesome. So anyways, long story short, it worked out. Thank God. I love it. And you went viral with it was like red flags and men. Yeah, very specific red flags. And then I have them here. Oh, you have them all? I don't know if I have them all. I have some because my wonderful assistant, she does research. I sleep. Okay, so the list includes loves the movie Wolf of Wall Street.

Oh yeah, like their favorite movie of all time. And they say that's the greatest movie made of all time. Clearly they haven't seen Trolls or The Heat. So obviously they know nothing, but that's a very specific movie. It's really funny because it's so specific. I love it so much. But I also like the Wolf of Wall Street,

but I also like other movies. Me too, I like it a healthy amount like normal humans do. The way they like it is sinister, bad energy. There's something evil in that. Anything to do with Joe Rogan. I don't get that one, just kidding. Imagine. They're like, bring him out, he comes out.

Joe Rogan's so funny to me, because I was like, yeah, if I smoked a ton of weed and talked for four hours every day, I'd be saying some off the wall shit too. Oh yeah, if I was injecting horse tranquilizer and saying it's the cure to COVID, sure. Go to sleep. Calls women females.

I agree with that. Because women don't go around being like, this male over here. Like it's so wild to hear. If they describe you and like dogs the same then there's a problem Like this female is spayed This female is black and tan Like a vet that's how men like that's describe women they do and it's so wild and they treat their dogs better than women

So that's crazy That's a bummer Obsessed with Tom Brady. Oh, yeah, like not like a Pats or a Bucks fan like just Tom Brady Which I don't get no offense don't come for me Tom. He's not looking too good No, yeah went for another ring lost his wife and kids No, yeah, went for another ring, lost his wife and kids. That's a bummer. That's like, gamble of the century, that sucks. I will say, too, what I think I've peeped about Tom Brady

is that Tom Brady is like an underdog story. He is? Yes, like Tom Brady's like pre-NFL career, like nobody thought he was gonna get picked. Nobody thought, like he was a really late draft pick. His story is very one of like, nobody believed in me and now look. Right? And I think the average awful dude looks at Tom Brady and goes, that could be me.

That could be me. And you're wrong. I'll get in the NFL. It's a very Rudy story. Yes, exactly. And that's a lie. Well, and also what's funny about Rudy is like, he wasn't good. Like that was the point. Like the point. You're right. Rudy is like, he wasn't good, like that was the point. Like the point, you're right, they are Rudy.

Like they have all the spirit and none of the talent. That's kind of the whole point of Rudy. Rudy's one of the greatest sports movies ever made, in my opinion. Really? Because it's the most realistic one. But it's also a lie. Yeah, what do you mean?

Oh, like the story itself is a lie? When the, so I had to watch this fucking movie for another podcast. And we did research because me and Lauren Lapkus When the, so I had to watch this fucking movie for another podcast. And we did research because me and Lauren Lapkus were like, no. And the part where the team's like, we won't play unless Rudy plays. That's not real. Oh, so that part didn't happen. No. And then the coach like really preventing him from playing.

That didn't happen. They just let him play in the last like five minutes. Well, yeah. And that's realistic, isn't it? And then you know who else they do that for? Children. So like bring full grown men to the game, let them wear the jersey,

have the dudes run around them and be like, oh, like falling alongside them, like let them run in the last touchdown. Let them do it. Maybe they'll stop hitting women. I don't fucking know. Yeah, you wanna go to a football game? You stop hitting your wife.

Yeah, maybe they'll fucking stop, I don't know. God, that's so funny. Also, I thought the Tom Bradley International Terminal. Was it about Tom Bradley? Yes. And I simply didn't understand why an LA airport named a terminal after a player not from Los Angeles. They call it Thomas Bradley, isn't it Thomas Bradley?

Maybe. For the longest time I was like, Tom Bradley, why? player not from Los Angeles. They call it Thomas Bradley. Isn't it Thomas Bradley? Maybe! For the longest time I was like Tom Bradley! Why? Why are we doing this? We get it. You're a quarterback. We get it. You don't need the airport. That's so funny. Another one is Saturdays are for the boys. Oh yeah

another Marstyl Sports reference. Oh god. Marstyl Sports, that is their Mecca. It really is. They pray facing that fucking flag. Every time, I fucking bet. Gets physically angry when his sports team loses. I think that's so funny because I'm always like,

why are you mad? You had nothing to do with it. Yeah, don't worry, you'll be okay. Yeah. You're not on the team, it's all right. You'll be just fine. I know, my favorite part is when they recap the game and they go, this is what we need to do.

Pause. We? We? Who's we? Who's we? Them! Well, it's funny, because like, you and I, like, in that case, I'm like, you and I are both at home. Like, we're both equally as qualified to comment on the game.

Like, I love when women make funny jokes about sports and they'll ask men who are like too into sports, they'll ask them shit like, why don't they just run around? That always makes me laugh because they get so mad and start explaining it like they're fucking war plans. I'm like, first of all, relax, it's a joke. Second of all, why don't they run around?

Why don't they? Why don't they do the easiest thing possible? Yeah. If I was a football player, I'd say, not today, it just seems hard. I love being like, I could do that if I had the time. If I made the time. Yeah, I could learn how to do football.

What is it like hard? Yeah, and I was like, but I'm busy. So I have things to do. I have dinner plans. I have time to go play. My favorite is men who are like, oh, I could beat Serena Williams at tennis. Oh, that's my favorite thing to do.

Isn't that wild? I love that. I'm like, that woman could literally make a hole in your head with a tennis ball. She's strong. For real. She's been training her whole life. Oh yeah, it's always women too.

Like they just truly, and it's funny because if I said the same thing about a football player or if I said that about like LeBron James, I was like, if you give me a sweatband in a couple hours, I could do what he does If I said that they would literally they would Their mind yeah, and then it would be like you could never like they defend him like he's on trial and they're his fucking lawyer Which I was like relax. He's not here. He doesn't care about either of us No, and it's just so funny that men like they have, what is it, what kind of relationship is it called when you don't know somebody? Oh, parasocial. Parasocial, yeah.

So like, all these players are like, that's my best friend, I wear his jersey, and I wave at him from the stands, ah sure, I'm really far away, my, excuse me. My support counts, he can feel it. He can feel when I'm not there. I've said that before too, that it's the same exact thing as like One Direction girls. Girls who love K-pop, girls who love the Jonas Brothers, like you're no different. Like you buy their merch, you wear it, you make fan accounts for them, you make edits of them, you go to the game, you scream when they come out.

It's all the same. The logistics are all the same. I feel the same way about like Trump supporters and Trump. He's just a drag queen. He's in a full beat selling merch, having a meet and greet. What's the difference? For real. Sweaty and hot in the sun. That's a drag queen.

Yeah, it's drag brunch. It's hamburger Mary's. It's all the fucking same. So, after that video went viral, I assume the menfolk said, oh, I gotta get on my phone and really use my thumbs to come at this bitch yeah they get in your DMs do they get really yeah yeah yeah that was like the first cuz I'm gonna be 30 this year so I grew up with the internet like I've been a voyeur for a long time I've never in my life have I seen like that kind of hate come from something fucking dumb

like that at me because it was so silly silly. It's jokes in its nature. It's jokes until it's true, which is always my bad. Um, but, like, I had never in my life experienced hate like that from strangers, especially men. Um, and then I had a... On the back end of that, I had so many women being like, this is so funny, this is so true. My ex was insane and loved Kanye West.

I was like, yeah, like I fucking said, and that was years ago, fucking clock it. I said that years ago in that video. I said if he likes him, something's wrong with him. You're a prophet, because no offense, Kanye, if you're listening, you're not doing good. They hate you. You're not doing well.

So I was like, hey, you know what? They hated Jesus too for being right, that's me. Fuck. That's me. So when I got that, like all that hate. I'm gonna take that, that's funny. They hated Jesus too. They were very mad at me and they started saying

the standard stuff, fat, ugly, probably single. And then that was when I was like, you're wrong on the couple thing, especially the singleness. And then it's funny because when I say, actually I'm not single, it always goes, oh, I bet he's ugly, wrong. I bet he's short, wrong. I bet he's not successful.

I bet he's got a bad hairline. I have so many bad news for you on all accounts. He's got all his hair, he got a job. His hair's as long as mine. Is it? Yes, he has long hair like me. Wait, that's so fun. Do you play with it? I braid it all the time for him.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah, he has really long hair, and then he has the undercut and everything, so when he puts the hair up, he's an undercut. That's fun. I like that. Yeah, me too. So wait, when you met in high school, was it freshman, sophomore? Which year?

Which of the four years was it? I met him my freshman year because he's a year older than me, so he was a sophomore. And then what is dating like in high school? Because I didn't do that. Nobody invited me to do that. I actually didn't date in high school either. I wasn't allowed to. My mom was like, we focused on school and school and sports and friends and we're like, okay. And my mom would always say too, like, there's no dating allowed. Like we could go to dates, like go to prom or dates or always say to you, there's no dating allowed. We could go to dates, go to prom dates, or dances, whatever, but just no boyfriends.

Little does she know my sister's a lesbian, but that was new to us at the time. That's a nice workaround. You said no boyfriends, but I could go crazy. That's so true. But I do remember my mom telling us, she's like, I have setting the rule in place, but obviously I can't see what you guys do all the time.

And she said, I just want you guys to know that I will find out. Like it was very standard conversation. Like she's like, I will find out no matter how much you lie about it, I will find out. And if I find out the other one knew and didn't tell me, then you're both gonna get the same punishment. So then there's nothing like locking in with your sitting

and you're like, you better fucking not. Like the there's nothing like locking in with your sitting there like, you better fucking not. Like the way that I would sell her down the river so fast, it's not even funny. If I had found out. And vice versa. So I didn't date in high school at all. So you waited till college. To start dating, yeah.

And you went to the University of Hawaii. I did. I did, in fact, go boos, period. How was Hawaii? It was wonderful. I loved it out there and I have a lot of family out there too because I've lived there and have lived there their entire lives. So it felt really natural to go out there.

Plus like I had stopped playing sports at that point when I went to college so I was excited to just be like a student. It was the fucking best. It was awesome. What sports did you play in high school? I played soccer growing up. That was my main sport forever. I started playing at a serious level when I was like seven, but that's because I was huge. Like, I was 5'4 when I was 10. Oh no!

Yeah, so. That's too big! Yeah, honestly, it's pretty ominous size for a child. I'd be a little frightened too, if I'm being honest. Teachers are like, she's the same height as me. Yeah, they were like, sir, this is a place for children. So I did play soccer all growing up. And then in high school, I played volleyball too. And then I also did shot put in discus high school.

I also did shot put in discus. Oh, Carrie, I love. Ooh, no running. Yeah, that's why I joined track. Add points to the score. I don't know how track and field is scored. Yeah, that's a little hard. I don't even know and I did it for so long.

Same. And I remember I joined that one because my mom was, my mom kept us real busy. So like maybe that was another thing too. I was always playing sports. I was like exhausted all the time in high school. Yeah, because she wanted you to not fuck. Yeah, she's keeping me distracted.

She cock-blocked you by being like, run around. Right, it's like spinning you before you hit the pinata. It's to throw off my sense of direction, you know? It's my sense of direction, you know like where I can't find it no matter how hard I swing So yeah, I remember I joined track as my mom said you have to join another sport And I was like fuck and then when I was like I don't want our fucking run I was like oh, I'll throw I'll just throw this yeah So me and my sister threw like in high school too which was nice And it was I remember doing shot put and like doing practices for it. You like throw it and then you're like, okay, now I gotta go get it.

It's kind of like you're a dog. You're playing fetch by yourself. With an eight pound ball. Yeah. What are we doing? No, it's true. That sport is so weird, but it was fun. It was a good time. Yeah. Who was your first boyfriend? Not who, you don't have to say the name, but like, was it, your first boyfriend was in college?

Honestly, honestly, and this is me being so 100% real, my fiance now is the first serious relationship I've ever had. Oh. I didn't have any before that. So I've never had to like phase out an ex to my family or anything like that, thankfully, but... That is nice. Yeah, my leash was just real short in college.

Just real short, I love that. Yeah my leash was just real short in college real short I love that I kept that real short um but did you date at all yeah I did I definitely I went on dates all the time hooked up with people tell me your worst date you feel comfortable enough sharing my worst date hmm honestly I think the worst date I've ever been on was actually in high school but it it was like a date but not really I went to prom with a dude that I like barely knew Mm-hmm, because he wasn't even from he didn't go to my high school and he was from a different state So he imported a date. I did I absolutely love that right? I was like, wait, how did you meet him through family?

It was like a family friend's son Right. So he came to take me to prom with his buddy who took my sister who again is a lesbian How did you meet him? Through family. It was like a family friend's son. Right? So he came to take me to prom with his buddy who took my sister, who again is a lesbian. So she was miserable the whole time. And as was I, because they were both awful. Like my prom date is, to this day, he's probably one of the worst people I've ever fucking met, which I did not know about him, obviously. I remember one of the first times we were hanging out, like this is before we went on

a date, we were just out, this was before we went on a date, we were just chatting, general casual chatting, and I was like, oh, so what's your type? Who are you interested in? And he goes, and you know, when he asked me, I said funny, nice, good to my family kind of deal. I go, what's yours? He goes, short, white, and with glasses.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Right. Oh, so not me? So all things opposite of me, perfect. And you know what's funny is I have really terrible fucking vision and I do wear glasses. And because he said that,

I went blind the whole fucking weekend. Cause I was like, hey, fuck you bitch. I'm not gonna put those on. You're gonna think, oh, she's wearing glasses cause I said I like glasses hey, fuck you bitch. I'm not going to put those on. You're going to think, oh, she's wearing glasses. Cause I said I like glasses. No way. Nope. I'd rather run into a tree than appease you. I did. Yeah. And I didn't drive the whole weekend either.

I kept telling my sister, I was like, you got to drive, dude. She was like, why? I was like, I can't wear my glasses. She's going to see. That's so wild to say to somebody. Like, truly. No shit. What? Why? How old were you? Oh, and I remember too, he asked me,

cause he was barely taller than me, so he was like six one, and I'm six feet. And so when we were, we were like eye level. Wait, you're six foot? Oh yeah, girl. I have terrible depth perception. I thought we were the same height. My sister has terrible height.

How tall are you? Five five. Oh yeah, she's five four. So every time she says, oh, they were like six eight, I go, no they weren't. Every time I tell her she goes, they weren't? And I go, they were like five 10, maybe. I'm really good at height guessing.

That's like a fun fact of mine, but mostly with men, just cause I like to hurt their feelings. But I remember too, he was like, are you wearing heels? Like to prom, cause he noticed how tall I was. And I was like, oh no, I'm not going to wear heels. And that was purely cause I just didn't want to. And he was like, oh perfect. Then he won't be taller than me.

Cause if you're taller than me, that's gay. I remember him explicitly saying that. And I was like, right, right. Fellas, is it gay to date a woman? Yeah. And then I'm like, no, yeah. I'm so excited to go to prom together. No, for sure. Oh my God.

This man is an absolute nightmare. Oh, he was the excited to go to prom together. I know for sure. Oh my God. This man is an absolute nightmare. Oh, he was the worst. He was the worst person I've ever met. I talk so much shit on him every time I bring up this story. There was another thing too, I tell this story ever because it truly still blows my mind to this day. Mind you, I'm like 16 at the time.

He tells me that he had only ever been to California once before. And when he went, he was really excited because he had never seen a beach. Like he'd never gone to an actual beach. And he was like, yeah was really excited because he had never seen a beach. Like he had never gone to an actual beach. And he was like, yeah, but it kind of sucked because I had to get my stomach pumped. Like I had to go to the hospital after I went to the beach.

And I go, oh my God, why? What happened? And he said, well, I was drinking so much water in the ocean. Mind you, he went to Santa Monica. Like he was like at that beach. He said, I drank so much water because I didn't know that the ocean was salt water.

I said, oh my God much water because I didn't know that the ocean was salt water. I said, Oh my God. Huh? Excuse me? You said you didn't know the ocean was salt? Right. And at the time I remember, I genuinely told this joke to my friend in high school.

I was like, well, I've never been to London, but I know Big Ben's not made out of fucking candy. I know that for a fact because I'm not a dumb ass. What do you mean you don't know that the ocean is? Oh, fuck. Upon first gulp, wouldn't you go pee you? This is too salty. And that's like the first thing my sister said. She was like, wouldn't you notice after a while,

like your lips are white and they're cracked in the corners and you're like, oh, I'm feeling so bad. I'm imagining this man with like a smoothie straw just being like, let me drink more water. I think I need to hydrate. What a dumbass. Well, there's very few freshwater lakes in the world. Oceans.

But also you don't want to drink lake water. I know, I'm just saying freshwater lakes are so rare by themselves. Like most bodies of water are not supposed to be consumed. Oh my God. He's like, fish drink water? Why can't I? Yeah. We're all the same.

Wait, do you still know about this man's whereabouts? Does he have children? We gotta stop it. Oh, yes he does have children. I feel it's too late. What's funny is the girlfriend that he had in high school, he broke up with, which I didn't know till after, to go to prom with me,

got back with her the Monday he went back, now they're married and have children. Isn't that crazy? She's dumb as hell. Well, birds of a feather. They belong together, I'm happy for y'all. Good luck. I'm stuck on this man drinking ocean water

in Santa fucking Monica and having to get his stomach pumped. That was well over ten years ago. I still remember it so distinctly. I remember what I was wearing when I heard it. It's almost like trauma registered in my brain. That's like one of the dumbest things I've ever heard a man utter ever in their life to me. And I remember, that's not even, we weren't even on the date yet. All this shit happened before the date.

The date was we went to an amusement park and he told me he was so excited to go and he loved roller coasters and blah, blah, blah. He went on one singular roller coaster. It was the silver bullet one at Knott's Berry Farm, if you know. He rode that one roller coaster, got off and complained the rest. My head hurts. I'm sick. My stomach hurt. The rest of the time didn't I'm sick, my stomach hurts. The rest of the time, didn't offer to pay

for one fucking meal. Just started adding his shit on mine when I was ordering shit. Mind you, my mom gave us money to go on the date and shit. Girl, and then he pissed me off so bad because he lied to me so severely about so many things. And then was complaining about every fucking ride.

And there's the accelerator roller coaster at that one, which is like the scariest one. I had been to Knott's Berry Farm at that point dozens of times. I never went on it because I was so afraid. He pissed me off so bad. I said, I'm going on that fucking roller coaster because I knew he wasn't going to go.

And I just didn't want to be with him anymore. That is so wild. How many days were you together? We were together for probably like two or three. It felt like. Like a month. A month and a half. It felt like.

Years went by. It felt like love is blind and I was trapped in the pods with him the whole fucking time. I was like, let me out, let me out. That is so wild. I had an experience like that, not with the person I was dating, this man who opened for me at a comedy club

in Naples, Florida. He was an older man in his like 60s, and I was like, oh, the perfect pairing. Yeah. When I think me, I think old and white. Old white guy. And he talked like this. And he had a joke that bombed every night.

And every time it bombed, he'd go, that's how I like to tell jokes, with no laughs. I mean... And that would get a laugh. And I was like, wait. Hey, he might be a genius. Wait, hold on, he might be honest on it. Let him cook a little bit.

But I was like, sir, you don't want to just change the joke? You've been doing it for, I don't know how many decades. You don't want to just change it? Doing it nine times zero. That's so funny. But I had a rental car. Every single night. I had a rental car.

He did it. And he was like, can you take me back to the hotel? And I said, sure. So I took him back to the hotel, and he's like, what are you doing tomorrow? And I was like, probably going to the beach. He's like, take me with you. And I was like, no.

And, but I said to his face, of course. And then I like got on the treadmill for like 20 minutes, and I was like, all right, I'm going to the beach. And I saw him in the hallway with no shoes on, and I was like, hopefully he'll just be away in his room somewhere. And I had all my beach gear. I get down to the lobby, the elevator door opens

and there he is and he's like, going to the beach without me? And I was like, no. I had my stomach drop like I was you. I'd be like, there you are. I've been looking for a desk. I was like, I was going to the front desk to call up on you.

He caught me at the perfect time. So then he's like, oh, let me get my stuff. So me and this 60 year old white man go to the beach together. And then he's like, he was like, do you want to go take a dip and I was like sure so then we were swimming in the ocean and he kept bumping into me and he's like is all that stuff you say on stage about being single true and I

was like yes and he's like oh you're so pretty and I was like I'm gonna swim home are you fucking kidding me? It was awful. Here I am thinking it's like Girl Scouts, like I'm winning my elderly fucking badge and you're trying to hit on me? Yes. And were you like, my feelings are hurt. It was awful.

I was like, you think, you think I'm single because someone like you hasn't finally hit on me? Oh shit. Oh, how did you know? How did you know my type is old and white and not funny? With no car. No car. I'm driving us to the beach. What if you rejected him and if he didn't react, you were like, that's how I like to tell jokes.

No laughs. No? I wish, I wish that's how that went down. Just me in the ocean being like. In his exact tone, that's how that went down. Just me in the ocean being like, that's... In his exact own. That's so funny. Sometimes, no offense, Casey, men are scary and terrible. Oh yeah, all offense, Casey. Just kidding.

I agree with you. I've told people before, they're like, oh, you hate all men. I'm like, I've never said that, but if the shoe fits, wear it. I don't give a fuck. But also like, yeah, oh you hate all men. I'm like, I've never said that, but if the shoe fits, wear it, I don't give a fuck. But also like, yeah, don't you? Haven't you ever spent time with one?

They're fucking awful. Like in most instances, you're like, this is terrible. Like have you ever seen a group of guys out, like all straight dudes, and they're all laughing? Have you ever been like, God, I wonder what they're laughing at? No. When they're laughing, I'm going, the the fuck are they doing? Something bad, probably.

I'm like, they probably just hit a woman. Yeah. They're probably high-fiving over a slur. True. I bet. That's what I think. High-fiving over a slur? When I see girls and gays and theys all out, and they're king and they're laughing and they're... I'm like, oh, that looks awesome.

When I see men doing it, I'm like, it's like, what are you laughing at? Why do you have joy? What's so funny? What did you do? The state of the world? Turn on the news. I bet you wouldn't be laughing so hard.

I'm just harassing them. I went to a movie recently when I was in Vancouver. Ooh, what movie? Companion. Ooh, that was good. Really good. It was really good. Enjoyed it. When we were sitting in there,

it was like my friends and family, we were all watching the movie. There's not many people in there, right? So there was like maybe a couple of couples, but they were all sitting away from us. A big ass group of nine, nine gentlemen. A gaggle of men? Adults. Right, nine. I remember because I counted. Because I was like, that's nine too many.

That's too many. That's about seven too many. Yeah, I agree. Men in twos and twos alone, right? And so I'm like, I remember thinking, what the fuck, that is sinister. Because as soon as they sat down, they start talking at full volume, this is during previews, full fucking volume,

they're talking about, you guessed it, stocks. Why? I don't fucking know. But they're talking about stocks and they're talking as if there's not a movie on. Right? And we're like, what the fuck? And I was like, I remember my sister and I were talking shit about it. And I was like, for their sake and their sake alone,

they better shut the fuck up when that movie starts. I'm not gonna be nice about it. But then they were quiet when the movie was on, thankfully. But they were laughing at the parts that are not supposed to be actually funny. Like when they would call her a fuckbot and shit like that. When they're objectifying, that's the whole fucking point. They're like, laughing at it like that.

And I'm looking at them all, when I turn around and hear them laughing, I'm like, yuck. Like, and then I'm thinking, nine grown men should not be going to see a movie together. You guys aren't allowed to do that, sorry. Maybe it was a birthday party. I don't give a fuck. You know what, take it to fucking B-Dubs or something.

Where do they congregate? Go to BJ's. Go hang out at a Chili's. Don't go to the fucking movies together. You're weird. I'm scared. I'm nervous. I honestly agree. And they have no one to blame but themselves for why I feel that way. Like you have no one to blame but yourself.

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That's what I said. I said the loneliness extends far past romance. Solved it. There you go. Go talk to someone. Talk to a friend. Get a friend and talk to them. That's what I said. I said, the loneliness extends far past romance. Sold it. There you go. Go talk to someone. Talk to a friend. Get a friend. Well, it's also being perpetuated by Red Pill dudes, which is like, do you know Red Pill guys?

Yeah, it's like people who listen to like Joe Rogan and other internet people who are like, women hate ugly men or something. Yeah, they're like, women only date men over six feet. Women only date rich men. Women only date. But like, you could just go six feet, women only date rich men, women only date... But like, you could just go outside and see all sorts of looking men with women.

Yeah, no shit. I was like, you know what's funny is, I know a ton of ugly people who are with someone. Same. I know a ton of people who look all different shapes and sizes in there with someone, happily, might I add. So I was like, it's funny because if, even if you had all those things, like let's say those men had all the height, the money and the fame

and whatever in the world, they'd still be alone and still bitching about the same shit. So it's almost like this common thread is you. But like, Red Pill men like to say that because they like to blame women for their fucking problems, which is like this loneliness shit is being perpetuated by misogynists, it's by men who hate women. But they blame women for all their issues and

It's funny because when women Get broken up with right by men a lot of times women are like, what did I do wrong? Like what could I have done better? What could I have done this when men get broken up with they're like what a fucking bitch Like immediately it's like I didn't do anything wrong. I'm perfect. She's crazy blah blah blah blah blah But most of these men who perpetuate this movement they've never even seen boobs in real life So they don't know anything like you don't know anything go fuck yourself So wild and then you hear about men being like ah she's with me for my money And I'm like well, where do you work Popeyes? Yeah, and not to knock anybody who works at Popeyes

But like that's a dual income household girl. She got work, too I've told people I'm like show me a 1099. I'll tell you if you need to worry about I'll tell you if you need to worry about Gold diggers show me the 1099. I want to see so fun. Did you get a refund? Yeah, don't worry about it Yeah, they're not looking for you. You're not paying the government You're you don't know money. You're fine. Don't worry about it. You're fine But yeah It just really blows my mind that a lot of men collectively, the whole incel movement is like,

women are the problem, as opposed to like, well, why don't you just speak to one and listen? And like, be nice to one. It's crazy, huh? It's like, ask a question, listen to the answer. Yes. Ooh, ooh, ooh. It's funny, because I just talked about this recently, but I was saying, have you watched Love on the Spectrum?

Yes. Oh my God, love it. Have you watched the new season? I'm on episode three. Oh my God, it's so wonderful. Huge fan, especially the new season. Shout out Madison and Tyler, that's my favorite couple. But I've noticed, cause this is the first time I've ever watched the show

like in its entirety this season. And I noticed that all of the men in that show who are like looking for love or they're friends of the people looking for love All of them when they talk about women they're very like well I want to know if she likes what I like if she is nice to me if she's talkative Like they're talking about things that have nothing to fucking do with looks like at the most it's like hair color And even then they're like, I don't really care. I just like do you like the train?

hair color and even then they're like, I don't really care. I just like, do you like the train? Like that's like what they care most about is their interest. Like, do your interests match mine? Do we get along? Do you make me laugh? Like it's crazy how they don't have any ego at all. So they have no choice but to be themselves and see women as humans, as other humans with interests.

And there's a girl on the show who loves to train, her name's Perry. And I've been using this instance because it's so indicative to me that misogyny is taught and bred, like, sociologically. Which we know, but it's so obvious in this show because she loves the train. That's her thing. So she starts, like, a Facebook group and has other people join who love the fucking train.

And so there's these men who join. They're straight men. And she's the leader of the group. And they're interviewing the two friends, and they ask them, like, oh, did anyone want to date her when you guys joined the group? He goes, oh, yeah, we all did, because she loves the train. And we fucking love the train, right?

And he goes, well, what happened? And he goes, well, I told her I had feelings for her, and then she told me she actually likes girls more. And then I said, okay, well, then we can just be friends. Have you ever in your life heard a straight man say that shit? Ever in your... Have you ever heard a man say that when you react like, oh, I just don't like you that way?

No, they get angry. No shit. And they're like, why don't you like me? And then they're like, oh, it's probably because you're a fucking tease. Oh, it's cause I don't have this. It's cause I don't, I can't be friends with you anymore. He said, well, I just figured we'll just be friends then.

It's almost like he sees her as a person. And then he's like, oh, okay, this person doesn't like me, so I'm going to respect this person and not be an awful person. And third choice. There was another one where one of the boys was like, oh, I don't want to go out with you again because you're not as talkative as I am. And not as outgoing. And I was like, yeah.

Yeah, if you're looking for someone to match you. And it's okay to communicate that. And she took it very well. She was like, she wanted to go out with him again, but she was like, I understand, it's okay. And it's like, sure, maybe you do end up being friends, but like, you know, maybe we don't have enough special interests, people who are on the opposite side

of the spectrum. And maybe we don't hold a shared common interest. Yeah, I feel like more than anything, it's ego, right? Like, ego is what drives reactions like that. Like, to feel, like, wounded personally, which is why you lash out at others. Like, they don't have any fucking ego. Like, they have none at all. They can't be influenced by outside perspective.

They like what they like and they don't like what they don't like. And they're very honest about it. So it's like, the only difference is that they're honest and communicate. Whereas other people lie. Like, I was like, neurotypical people tend to lie and fabricate and create narratives. They don't have it in them to do that, and they don't want to do it. So they're just very honest. And that's why I've used that example,

because it's so indicative of this of this bullshit ass male loneliness epidemic. You are only because of you like you Men within that fucking purview shit like all of them are propagating their own loneliness by being awful It's crazy how like if you just stopped being terrible It would work like it and in one of the other couples, Madison and Tyler on that show, on their like second date, after the first one, which was probably like an hour and a half, right? The second date, he brings her gifts, but they're things that are what she loves

more than anything. They apply to the things that she loves, and it turns out when you talk to women and hear what they like and listen and implement it, you get a fucking girlfriend. Crazy how that works. It's wild. It's so crazy.

I can't tell you how many gifts I've gotten that I was like, I don't like this. I never once said I liked a- And then they're like, how am I supposed to know that of the things that you like? Have you tried listening? Like, is that possible or no? Okay. It's just a big guessing game. Like what the fuck?

And that's why I also don't care about the male loneliness epidemic because when it started working, it's way back into the conversation again recently because I've seen it a lot recently but I heard about it for the first time like a couple years ago. But that's just because when awful men

are being tortured by something, I feel like it gets sent to my phone like a tornado warning. And I'm just like, because it's like all it does is give me energy. That's what it gives me. You're sucking it up. Yeah, it's like Snow White in The Huntsman

where she's like, bring me the youngest, most beautiful girls. And then she goes, and she sucks their soul out. That's what I do to men. Like I just suck it right out. I've never seen that movie and I don't think I will. Yeah, I'm Charlize Theron in that movie

if you ever do watch it. Oh wait, maybe I will watch it. I like her I Even said like recently about that. I'm like what's not just like I said earlier. It's not just romance It's also just community like I'm like men straight men like that awful straight men They don't even know their friends birthdays that blows my mind They don't know their men like hang out and then you're like, oh, how is that person? They're like, oh, I don't know. I'm like, but you were with them for eight hours. You clocked in and clocked out.

You don't know how they are? You don't know they're getting divorced and I know? What do you mean? On a separate note, I love or I hate and I love when my man brings me tea, like from people we know. Yes. And then he's like, oh my God,

did I tell you so-and-so they're breaking up? And I'm like, oh my God, no way, what happened? And he goes, I don't know, I didn't ask. Girl, don't bring me half baked shit again. Yes, give me all the juicy D. Get back out there and go ask. Do it, go. I said, now I gotta ask him the next time I see him.

Now I gotta do it. Now I gotta investigate. Speaking of Charlize Theron, I saw, it was like a, it was a post talking about how her character I gotta do it. Now I gotta investigate. Speaking of Charlize Theron, I saw... It was like a... It was a post talking about how her character in Monster, who's based on this woman, I think Eileen... Eileen Warnows. Yeah. And it was like, she's a monster, da-da-da-da.

She murdered all these men. And then there's a clip of her like laughing about it. And she's laughing because all of the men attacked her before she killed them. So I was like, how would, she's not a monster. She just, you hurt her and she just killed you. Oh, she took a page out of your playbook and you're fucking mad. As if men have been doing that for fucking centuries,

killing women indiscriminately. Yeah, and not even making them that mad. I just finished you. Do you watch You on Netflix? Only the last season I watched was when love was first introduced. I think that was season two. That was the last season I watched. That is season two. You should watch the rest of it. And you should watch season three. You can skip season four, I think.

And then... That's what my sister said. Because they'll just explain everything to you in the beginning of five. And you're all caught up. But I just think it's so interesting that, like, a lot of people were endeared to this man who was a serial killer. And they're like, he's hot.

And I'm like, that's how Ted Bundy got away with shit. And he wasn't even hot. No, when I finally saw a picture of him, I was like, that? Well, you know what's funny about that is the reason why the cops started saying that he was so good looking, he was evading them is because they did not believe women until it was too late.

He was on victim number fucking 20. By the time they started really believing women, and then they were like, oh, he's been evading us because he's so handsome. That's the fucking go around. Oh, sorry, his handsomeness threw me off for a second. I couldn't catch him. So funny.

He was too hot for us to catch. Yeah, it was a dime. Slipped through our fingers. What was I supposed to do? No, exactly. That's the funny part about that is that men made that up so that they wouldn't be held accountable for being fucking incompetent at their jobs. You know?

Yeah. Being a cop does seem hard, but also you can just listen. Oh, yeah. But also fuck 12, you know? Yeah, fuck the police. Yeah, fuck the police. Don't come for me.

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Especially if you're heterosexual. If you're a woman dating men, be picky. Like if they do anything that upsets you or hurts you in some way, fucking bounce every time. Don't be like, oh, this is a one-off. Oh, this is a this. I feel like women's intuition is so strong and stark. It's almost like every story you know

about women getting cheated on, each story starts with, I knew. I had a feeling. Like, almost every friend I've know about women getting cheated on, each story starts with, I knew. I had a feeling. Like almost every friend I've had that has been cheated on has literally said like, randomly one day I was like, are you cheating on me? It's like the spirit just talks to you and tells you.

So I feel like women's intuition is so strong. Women know what feels good and what doesn't. And I feel like a lot of times women are conditioned to stomach way more than men ever are. So I feel like be picky, man. If they do shit that you don't like, if they hurt your feelings, if they don't change their behaviors, fucking leave. Like don't waste any time.

I agree. I think it's like if the person holds themselves accountable and can articulate, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, I will try to change. And then they make a change, that's great. But if they're just gonna keep treating you like shit, like it happens three times. It will try to change. Exactly. And then they make a change. That's great. But if they're just going to keep treating you like shit, like, yeah, it happens three times.

It will happen a fourth. It'll happen a fifth. Absolutely. I think you're absolutely right to be picky. So you're cheating. OK, there is a story. OK, I love the internet.

There was this woman who suspected her husband of cheating. He was allergic to bananas and he thought she thought that he was cheating with her best friend. So she made banana bread for her best friend. And he went over there kissed her and then went into anaphylactic shock And then and I don't know if this is true And then like visit him in the hospital and she's like it's so wild that you have a banana allergy and you're in here because of

Your banana allergy and there were no bananas in the house But there was bananas at my best friend's house and then he didn didn't say anything, and she didn't say anything, and she left. And I was like, women are too smart. That's why I said, you always know. And I also think too, there should be a distinction between someone who makes a mistake and doesn't mean to do something or harm you, and someone who's actively harming you.

Those are two very different things. When men say things, they say things kind of short and that hurts your feelings. And you're like, oh, I thought you were mad at me. And they're like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm trying to get better at communicating, whatever. That's one thing. For someone to like make fun of you in front of his friends,

that's a whole nother thing. Like that shit grounds to humiliate you in front of your friends and then you'll never see me again. Like that's the shit I feel like cut off at the fucking knees. And then I feel like women, if women were more distinctive about that line, it would help them be able to cut it off sooner.

Because I feel like women are just, they're just conditioned to eat everything and be okay with everything. We're socialized to be like, you need a man. Yeah, and you need to- If you find a man, keep him. Yeah, and it's like people make mistakes and blah, blah, blah. You're right. They do. But people also choose to do bad things.

That's also something we should keep in mind. Like, let's keep both on the table at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're absolutely right to like just keep in the back of your brain. Some people are choosing bad. Yeah. Sometimes they're choosing. And it's also like you're an adult and I'm an adult. Yeah. Right. So like, let's operate under,

we're both adults who understand what is good and bad. You know what I mean? So it's like, you do bad thing, I react to bad thing, I leave. Yes. So. Were you ever on the dating apps? I was on Tinder for like half a second

before I started dating my man. That's nice. Thankfully. That's real nice. I know, it's a war zone out there. I was on the apps for so long. It was so awful. Bumble was the absolute worst.

My sister said that to me. Really? You said this? It's terrible. She's like, it's just so bad all around. It's always bad. Like it's on, the onus is on, are you the gay one? Yes.

Yes, she is. What a way to phrase that, to point at you and be like, you're the gay one? That is my gay one, yes. Because I was messaging men and I was like, oh, men don't seem to want to be approached by a woman. They seem to want to do the chasing. Why did you think, come, come, do you want to be on? Yes.

He can answer off mic if he want, yeah. Why did you find it so bad? I feel like that was when men would change their gender to be female to meet others. Like I get mostly men when I did the- So you would get mostly men who were changing their gender on purpose to get in there with lesbians. It's fucking weird.

You see what I mean? And then they're like, women don't wanna be with us? Look at the shit you do. You have blown me away twice. Yeah. The drinking of the ocean water and men changing their gender? Yeah, that's really common on the apps.

It's fucking insane. That is so wild. And it's like, who are you looking for over here? You're not gonna find it. Yeah, a lesbian doesn't want you Well to them they're like well, maybe she hasn't been with the right man yet That's the fucking weird-ass thinking they have which is also so insane I've never ever been like oh that person who rejected me

Once they get a taste of this pussy Trust me. Like it's so unhinged. I wish I had the confidence of a man sometimes. A white one especially. So, say it, preach on it, move it Casey! I'd be unstoppable. I'd grow 10 times the size of this building. I'd be a mega version of myself, for real. I mean truly, how far could we go?

God, that's so wild. What's the most romantic date you've been on? I mean, my fiance now is really, really good at dates. I would probably say when I got proposed to. Tell me about it. We went to... Because I was on tour during our anniversary last year, and he was with us.

And so we finished tour, like like a few days after our anniversary. So I had planned already, like, because I knew we were going to miss our anniversary while we were on the road. So I planned something for right after. We finished tour just to go away, just together to like celebrate. And so I planned the whole weekend

and it was purely just for anniversary purposes. So I was like, well, it's not going to happen this weekend because I planned the whole thing, so I fucking know everything that's happening. I knew every single thing that was happening, so I was like, there's no fucking way. And so I had no clue, like I had no idea at all. And so he proposed to me,

I would say last night we were there, and we went to dinner at this omakase, I'd never done omakase before which was really cool And it was like a nine-person dinner So it was like just us at the fucking bar thing and it was so funny because we got there like right when it started Mm-hmm, so we kind of had to like catch up a little bit and so we were like, oh, yeah We got our drinks and everything and and the guy was like, oh married couple like the chef He's like, are you guys married? Mm-hmm. And we're like, oh no, or he said, what are you celebrating?

Are you guys celebrating something? We're like, yeah, we're celebrating an anniversary. And he goes, oh, are you guys married? And we're like, no, no, we're not married yet. And then he was like, oh, well, how long have you guys been together? And then my fiance goes, oh, this is seven years. And then he goes, oh, but not married. And I was like, oh, sushi chef has jokes. Ha ha ha ha ha. And when I heard it, I was like, oh sushi chef has jokes And when I heard it I was like fuck this guy

Y'all say I was like this guy he was being nice, but he was like I was like, let's not do a rose buddy. That yeah, let's not do that here, right? Not at the dinner. All right And so we like enjoy the whole dinner is really fun and then he asked me like like my fiance asked me like, oh, do you want to go for a walk, like around outside? And I was like, um, not really. Cause I was pretty drunk at that point too. I was a little tipsy.

And also it was like, it was like 11 PM and we're like on the coast of something. So I was like, it's kind of dark outside. And he was like, yeah, yeah, we could just go back to the room. I was like, okay. So we're like walking up. I was like, wow, what a great dinner He's like, yeah

and so I opened the door and there was like when I opened the door there was like a bunch of rose petals and stuff like all the way inside and there was a fuck ton of balloons like all over the ceiling and These huge bouquets of roses which like this makes me sound like an asshole and I'm prefacing it now My man does things like that so often that I just thought it was part of the anniversary So it's a real like he got it was like a what do you call it like a Russian doll? Like he really fucking got me cuz I was like oh, that's so sweet. That's so cute. I was like walking I was like oh, that's so nice. I was like did you tell them to do this while we were downstairs? And he's like yeah kind of and I was like oh, that's so nice

I'm just like looking at everything so great'm like, oh, this is so great. And then I turned around and he was on one knee. Oh. And then I was like, what are you doing? What are you doing? What's happening? Did you fall? And it was just me screaming,

what are you doing for like 40 minutes? And then he was like, can I say my speech? Because he was just listening to me say that for fucking ever. And then I was like, oh yeah, yeah, no, no, for sure. You go ahead. My bad, I'm sorry. My bad, King. I didn't mean to interrupt you. And then he proposed to me and it was beautiful and amazing. So I'd probably say that was the best date ever.

I love that. That's truly so cute. And I really love that he let you scream. Like, that's love. That he was like, you do you. I'll get to it when I get to it. Yeah, you know what's funny too is the first Valentine's Day we ever spent together, so this is like years ago, I was still working nine to five, so I got off work late. And I was like, I just have to change really quick and you're ready.

And I'm notoriously late for everything always. I wish that wasn't the case. I'm working on it. But he knew that about me already because he'd been dating me for like a year at that point and So I was getting ready and then he was like, yeah, I have reservations at this time. We leave the house. It's fucking late So obviously he's like we're gonna be late to dinner and I was like, I'm so sorry I'm so sorry like I'm late because you know, you're in the early stages. So you're like, yeah, so you're like, oh my god I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I was like, I really I'm sorry.'m late and he goes, oh, it's alright. I'm not worried about it. And I was like really he goes

No, because I had a feeling you might be late So I made two different reservations one for the okay restaurant But the later one is for the one I really wanted to go to so actually we're like 30 minutes early And I said, that's my fucking man right there. That's that's my fucking king right there And I was like a year and, so there you go. My partner before every time we go out, about 20 minutes before I'm supposed to leave to be somewhere, he's like, are we still good for that time?

And the last time he asked, he was like, are we still good for 6.30? I said, yes, but I will be there at 6.45. And he was like, so you're not good for it?" -"You're good for 645?" And I was like... -"Let me ask again. Are we good for 630?" And I feel like any other man I've ever dated

would be like very annoyed by that answer. But he was like, -"I'll just clarify." -"Yeah." -"You said you're good for 630, but you will arrive at 645. So I think you're good for 6.30, but you will arrive at 6.45. So I think you're good for 6.45. And I was like, yes, that's the time I'm good for.

I'm starting to think I don't know what that phrase means. Good for 6.30. I don't get it. I don't get it. And then I was a little later because my card got stuck in the meter and then I couldn't get my... Oh, with your nails? My nails out.

So I texted him, are you close with your fingies? He was just like, he just didn't answer. When we got to the bar, I was like, oh, my car got stuck in the meter, but I didn't call because a nice lady came and she was helping me with it. He was like, I figured I'd get the whole story once I arrived. And I was like, okay. Oh yeah, so I'll talk to my man and I'll be like, oh my God. I was like, did I tell you what I saw the other day?

And I'll talk for 40 minutes straight, uninterrupted. He'll listen to me the whole time. And I'll start with something on Instagram and I'll end up talking about the Chinese Imperial Army. And then I'm like, how did I get here? When I get to the end, I'm like, anyways, what was I saying? And then he goes, what was it that you said you saw

on Instagram? I go, oh, right, so and so is pregnant. Can you believe it? And I was like, I just spent 45 minutes. That's probably the most patient thing he does with me, is he loves to hear me talk. He just doesn't care. So he's just like, yeah, no, I love hearing you talk.

I'd rather you talk than me. And I'm like, that's my fucking man. And I think that's so sweet. Also, he be listening. He does, yeah. He knows how, I'd rather you talk than me. And I'm like, that's my fucking man. And I think that's so sweet, also, he be listening. He does, yeah. He knows how to remind you of what you were saying. Oh my God, yeah. And that's just so nice.

I know, he's like a kind man, which is like rare. And I think that's why some people are like, oh, how did you like get a good one, right, about men? And I'm always like, honestly, I just feel like I waited out for the right one. Like when I, even when we got engaged, we had been together for seven years. Part of the fucking gotcha online for me was always like, oh, still no ring though.

And I was like, okay, there was six years, seven years, no ring. I'm like, okay, seven years, you're not HVAC certified. I guess we both have issues we should be focusing on, right? Maybe go get a trade, bitch, like worry about you. But that's in my opinion, I'm like because I'm not in a rush. No! I'm like I'm not I'm not in a rush to get married because I don't get married by white people's standards first of all, but second of all like spending time with someone for a couple years doesn't mean that you know each other well enough to commit your

lives to each other. I was like I'm not in in a rush. Like, I'm not in a rush. And I told my man I didn't want to get married. If it were up to him, I would have got married a while ago. But it wasn't. It was up to me. It's up to us as a couple. So when he proposed, it's because I said I was ready. And that's why it happened. And so a lot of...

It was like a lot of the discourse online, but even when I talked about it, I said like, me being engaged is not proof that he loves me. It's proof that I love myself enough to wait for the right one. I love that. I have a very close friend who's getting married, and this is after they dated, I think maybe for like seven or eight years. And one was like, I want to get married. And then the other one was like, not really feeling it.

So then my friend was like, okay, I guess I just won't get married. I'll just spend my life with this person I guess marriage isn't that important and then finally the one who didn't want to get married proposed to my friend Oh, that's so it was just like he was ready. Yeah, and then they're both so happy that they waited Yeah, absolutely because they both know nobody felt forced or rushed into it. And I think that's so fucking important I know I agree. It's like a lining of goals like I yeah because we knew we wanted to get married We knew that we didn't want kids like we and we found that out pretty early on so we were like, okay Well, if we know there's no rush like now and if anything I was like if anything he has even less loyalty to me not being

Engaged or married to me. I was like, there's nothing tying us together If he wanted he could bounce any minute, just like me. But neither of us are going anywhere because we don't want to. So that's kind of the whole fucking point. And I'm always like, whatever works for you and your relationship, I think that's the whole point of me wanting, me and my intersectional feminism,

a center point to it is giving women autonomy. It's like whatever you wanna do living your life the best way that you think you know how. So everyone's timelines are different. I'm just a huge fan of getting to know someone for real. And like going through shit together. Like I told people like, I waited too because you have to live life together.

In my opinion, like go through things together. And I said like, and by that I mean, I don't mean experiencing hardship like from your partner, I mean going through hardship with your partner. So, like, if someone loses their job, if someone loses a family member, if someone's family member has to move in, if someone's family gets cut off,

if someone gets sick, if someone gets hurt, like, there are so many awful things in life that can happen when you're... that can put strain on you as a couple. So, like, in my opinion, I really liked the idea of living together for a long time, cohabitating for a long time, figuring it out. And also, I really wanted to pay, we wanted to pay for the wedding ourselves.

And so like I didn't want my parents to do it, I wanted to get a home before then. Like there's just all these things I wanted to do before. You had goals that you wanted to hit before you're like, okay, now we're married. Yeah, and then now it's like the perfect time to get married. Like for us now, it's like the stars have truly aligned in terms of timing. So it's like perfect. He just turned 30, I'm about to turn 30.

Like time is a construct, who gives a fuck? Do whatever you want. It really is, and so is money. Amen. It's all made up. I think about it all the time. It's all made up, it's all Monopoly cash. You pay me and then the bank account just goes up?

Right. What? It's all pretend. It's crazy. We're all playing pretend at the end of the day. We are playing pretend. Life is weird. Your story at the restaurant where it was like seven years, no ring reminds me of I went to, so Vegas has like,

it's like 15 minutes from the strip. It's like a race car track where you can drive Lamborghinis and stuff. Oh, OK. And I did that with my partner. And the lady was like fitting us for the helmets, and she's like, so you guys like dating? And I was like, mm-hmm.

And she goes, hmm. Hmm. Okay, I can see you together. And I was like, what the hell is that supposed to mean? What if she couldn't see us together? Now what? Would she have said it? Is she the final boss?

Like, what would have happened? They said, congrats, you just won love. I don't understand why people say, whatever's on their minds. No, it's, it's, oh, rude being rude. It's so wild. Oh, yeah, I think, it's funny, because my fiancé, and this is me not guessing him or myself,

my fiancé's a very good-looking man, like, generally speaking. So sometimes, like, older women, he's like catnip to those hoes. And I all pieced in love to y'all. But they, the way that they act around him sometimes is truly baffling to me. Really?

Yeah, because sometimes older women will talk to me as if, like, they'll objectify him to me and they know I'm his fiance. So they'll be like, oh man, you get that every night, huh? What are we, old white naked guys in a locker room? Fish and me won't get away from me. What are we doing? I'm not your friend. They'll just say the most weird fucking things.

Thankfully it doesn't happen as much anymore now that I do this for a living. Oh,. Thankfully, it doesn't happen as much anymore now that I do this for a living. Oh, for example, this reminds me a couple years ago, my man was driving through a canes drive-through. It was like raising canes. And he was driving through and he was getting food and he ordered at the little thing

and then he went to the window. And when he got the food, the girl giving it to him, the girls that were giving the food to him, they were younger, it was like two young girls, they looked like early 20s. And they were like, I wasn't in the car got the food, the girl giving it to him, the girls that were giving the food to him, they were younger, it was like two young girls, they looked like early 20s. And they were like, I wasn't in the car at the time, I was at home. And when they gave him his food, they were like,

I just wanna say, like one of the girls goes, I just wanna say, you're like the hottest guy I've ever seen. And my man gets really uncomfortable with shit like that, so he's like, all right. And then he just like drives away. And then he just drives away. And he drove away, and he called me, and he was telling me, I feel so fucking uncomfortable because this happened at the drive-thru, and I was like, well, what happened?

And he told me, and then he goes, and then I fucking forgot my other bag, so I have to go back. I was like, damn, I was like, do you want to come get me? And he goes, no, I'm already here. I just like, I feel so fucking nervous because I have to go back again to get it and then he and I was like it's all right it'll be fine you could go back it's fine she's young it's like whatever you know what I mean and he's like okay and he goes back in the drive-thru and then goes back around and it's probably like five ten minutes has passed since he picked up the bag when

he goes back I'm doing this for a living now like I am huge on TikTok at the time and when he comes back, different energy. Other girls gone. There's just one, the one that told him the compliment. And she looks frightened as fuck when she when he pulls up. He's like, I'm sorry, I forgot my other bag. And she goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I have it right here. She gives it to him and she goes, I just want to say, I am so sorry.

I had no idea who your girlfriend was, but I know who she is now. And I just want to apologize to you and her. I really am sorry. I didn't know. And he was like, oh, it's all right, it's okay. She goes, I just want to, I'm really sorry, I did not know, I'm a huge fan of hers, I'm really sorry. And he was like, it's okay, you don't have to apologize. And he just drove off, and then he called me,

he goes, well, I don't think I need to worry about that. Damn. That's so funny. I was like, damn, I run a tight ship. You really do. You're teaching manners to's so funny. I was like, damn, I run a tight ship. You really do. You're teaching manners to all genders. I'm strict. My bad, girl. It's okay.

You can compliment him. That's so funny. I was like, you can compliment him all you want. I promise. He's not going anywhere. It's okay. It's like when your dog's not on a leash and you're like, it's fine. He's not going to do anything.

That dog loves me. He's going to come right back to me. Yeah, it's okay. You can pet him. It's fine. That's so funny. Drew, we have come to the end. Period, look at us. This has been nice.

Time flies when you're having fun. It honestly really does. It did, it flew. We had a blast. I once went to Medieval Times, and it felt like I was there for 15 minutes. Oh, I gotta go. It's so fun. I loved it. You eat with your hands, Drew.

I asked all my guests this. I've only missed. I'm excited. I loved it. Oh my god. You eat with your hands. Drew. I ask all my guests this. I've only missed it a couple of times. Would you date me? Of course I would. And we'd go to medieval times and get married. I almost just burst into tears. And then we'd honeymoon at like a Ren fair or something.

That'd be so fun. Mmm, yes. I would like that. I like dressing up. Me too. Do you have anything you want to promote? So fun. Yes. I would like that. I like dressing up. Me too. Do you have anything you want to promote?

Oh, I would say just, you can find me at Jerof Wallow on literally everything. And then I have my show, the comment section on Spotify or anywhere you get your podcasts. I also have another show with my sister called 280 Girls, which is another podcast you can get anywhere you get podcasts also on YouTube. And yeah, my book Loud. You can also anywhere, you can get podcasts also on YouTube. And yeah, my book, Loud,

you can also purchase that wherever you get books. Look at us. I love that. And I love you. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here. Of course. If you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me,

you can like it, give me five stars on the fucking podcast thing, the Apple podcast. But if you write me something nasty hitting on me to whywon'tyoudatemepodcasts at gmail.com, I'll read it. podcast thing, the Apple podcast. But if you write me something nasty hitting on me to why won't you date me, podcast at gmail.com, I'll read it. Dear Nicole, I want to take you to a Guy Fieri's Flavortown kitchen for dinner.

When you take a bite of the big juicy burger and spill sauce down your titties, I'll lick you up clean. Then I'll drive you to my place in my red Volkswagen pickup. And I call my friend Vin Diesel to let you FaceTime with him and my red Volkswagen pickup. And I call my friend Vin Diesel. Ha ha ha ha ha! To let you FaceTime with him and tell you how pretty you are. Ha ha!

When we get to my house though, I have a surprise. Vin is there to help me tag team your pussy. Oh my god. I get you into my room and you try to undress me, but I won't let you take my pants off until you say Peppa Pig slut wants your big juicy mushroom head cock. How did you get that email that I wrote you? I'm so take my pants off until you say, Peppa Pig slut wants your big juicy mushroom head cock. How did you get that email that I wrote you?

I'm so sorry about that. That was not supposed to be read on camera. Oh, love it. I've also been to that restaurant, it's not very good. Anyways, go ahead. The one in Vegas, it's not good. And my boyfriend got mistaken for Jason Momoa there. He doesn't look like him.

But this big drunk white guy kept calling him that there. So bad experience all around, sorry guy. That's pretty funny. I was once called Amber Riley from Glee and other projects on the subway of New York. And I said, I am her. And I took a picture with tourists. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha harder than a theragun at full blast until you're covered in cum and orgasm an appropriate amount of times. Once we shower off, we can put on the real MCU,

the Madea cinematic universe. Oh! Oh! Then we can cheat and cuddle until we fall. Imagine I was like, you lost me until you brought up Madea. Now I'm on board. I love Madea.

That's all you, you should have led with that. Do you like Madea? Sure, why not? As much as the next person, I would say. In Madea's Halloween, she fall down the stairs in the funniest way possible. I couldn't stop laughing. I just needed you to know that. Bye!

Bye! You've been listening to Why Won't You Date Me with me, Nicole Byer. This show is produced and edited by Mars. You've been listening to Why Won't You Date Me with me, Nicole Byer. This show is produced and edited by Mars with executive producer Anya Kenovskaya. It's engineered by Casey Donahue with guest research by Lindsay Kempf. Our VP of content at Headgum is Katie Moose and our theme music is arranged by Mike Kamatay. Ah, thanks for listening. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode.

See you then. Okay, bye-bye. That was a HeadGum Podcast. Hey, I'm Tony Hale. I'm Matt Oberg. And I'm Kristin Schall. And we're gonna be hosting the new podcast, The Extraordinarians,

where we are going to be interviewing extraordinary people, doing extraordinary things, things that we have never and probably will never do. We talk to people who have broken records on slacklines suspended by hot air balloons. We're talking to people who have done multiple flips on trampolines. You'll have to tune in to find out how many flips they did. Subscribe to Extraordinarians on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And watch me. God.

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Extraordinarians. Hi, I'm Jessie Klein. And I'm Liz Feldman, and we're the hosts of a new Headgum podcast called Here to Make Friends. Liz and I met in the writer's room on a little hit TV show called Dead to Me, which is a show about murder. But more importantly, it's also about two women

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And we're inviting an incredible guest like Vanessa Barrett. Wow, I have so much to say. Lisa Kudrow. Feelings, they're a nuisance. Nick Kroll. I just wanted to say hi. Matt Rogers. I'm like on the verge of tears.

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