Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Why Won't You Go Get a Transvaginal Ultrasound? (w/ X Mayo)

Episode Date: March 31, 2023

Comedian and writer X Mayo (The Daily Show, American Auto, Swarm) chats with Nicole about her success making friend connections on Raya, how she positively re-framed her outlook on dating, and her life changing experience shooting a nude scene in Swarm. Plus, a PSA on pussy health and why you should go get a transvaginal ultrasound. Write to Nicole! Submit your dirty pick-up lines, dating stories, or questions to [e-mail] for a chance to have it read on-air. Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Hi, hello, I'm so excited to announce that I'm doing a live and virtual episode of this podcast. Why won't you date me? It's April 5th, live at the Elysian in Los Angeles, but anyone in the world can tune in. Tickets are on sale now at moment.co slash date me. And if you can't watch it live, it's no big deal. It'll be on video on demand for up to two weeks later. It's going to be a nice time. I think you'll like it. And you get your tickets at moment.co slash date me or Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why!

Oh baby! Welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? It's a podcast where me, Nicole Byer, is exploring the thematic things of love and shit. Because I've done this podcast for like five years and I can't figure out why I'm still single, so now I'm just trying to figure out what love is. So my guest today, she's a comedian, an actress, and an Emmy-nominated writer that you see in an American Auto and The Daily Show. You can see her in two new projects, Swarm on Amazon Prime, in a part that I was like, yes, bitch, yes. Swarm, if you haven't seen it, I genuinely really fucking love it. There's a wild discourse on Twitter. I don't really agree with it. I think

it's entertainment. I think it was written in a way. I don't know agree with it um i think it's entertainment i think it was written in a way i don't know i whatever we'll get into it in the upcoming movie the blackening i'm thrilled she's here today it is as my oh my god what a fucking intro listen i love you i think you're so wonderful and funny and i think back to one of our first interactions it was that sweet chick no please do not say this do not don't you fucking dare i was oh my god i fanned the fuck out over us this year and you guys are just trying to eat your fucking waffles and bacon and I'm all like Nicole I'm in love with you but it was so nice and I like remember it and then when I started seeing you pop up places I was

like damn I love that you did the thing because sometimes people will be like I love you I'm also an actor and then you never see them again and then i was like because i i don't know i got to a place a couple years back i guess it's more than a couple years back where i was like whenever i see a woman who like looks kind of like me who's bigger than the normal do you mind me saying that because some people don't identify as bigger okay it's back okay i didn't want to offend you because one time i said to a friend i was like you know as fat girls and she was like who are you talking to and i was like does she not know but you know when you see bigger girls especially bigger black girls I'm like let's do the damn fucking thing I like I just get excited so yeah it was nice to like

have that interaction and then see you fucking blast the fuck off like I don't know like a year and a half later it was wild it was so cool well I was like you were like a year and a half later. It was wild. It was so cool. Well, I was like, you were like a UCB royalty and you had already become famous and skyrocketed. And I had told you when I first met you, I'm like, yeah, I was the intern at the Beast when you did Mateo Lane's show that he notoriously did over and over every Tuesday. And I studied him.

To this day, I think he's one of the best stand-ups I've ever seen and you were in there and you had made a very like um very like racist like blue joke like in like making fun of white people and then you were like it doesn't matter there's UCB there's no black people here I say yes we joke um i forgot what but it was so funny only i laughed and i hollered it was something about a slave and white because you know white people don't even say the word soul you better say slave bitch you better say slave i'm pretty sure it was a joke about santa claus and how uh there was like a whole like people were like Santa's white. And I'm like, actually, he is white. He has slaves.

And no white people like laughing at that joke. And then that's so funny that you were there to be like, I'm here. No, because too, it was just like, she needs to know that she has community in here right now because UCB is white as fuck. And I'm just like, no, there is somebody here who gets that joke. And it's just kind of like, white people just get,

their asses get so clenched and their fucking like holes become baby powder. And they're just like, because it's like, as soon as they hear some racist shit, but it's like, guys, it's true. It's real. Like if Nicole doesn't fucking

make a joke about it she'll crumble like if I don't like it will ruin me if I don't turn it into a joke like what is she supposed to do yeah just like be in this world and not giggle um wait can we just talk about this this uh this wall behind you oh yes your producer loved it too it's great it's very saved by the bell did you paint this or what is this absolutely not bitch i can barely do a finger paint okay so shout out to very gay paint not sponsored shout out to very gay pain okay i like my homegirl corinne who you know corinne wells from you see me so she was here at my house and i was like bitch all these tennis rappers keep talking about they know how to paint they know how to paint they know how to paint everything I

see that they're posting this is not it's not given it's not what I want so she was like have you ever heard of very gay paint and I and this is Korean so I'm like you're doing a bit she's like no no no this is real no girl this is real this is what they call themselves no yeah and there and she was like this is my friend and everything like that jensen i literally like emailed them on a friday we had like a like design type talk on a monday that next friday they were in my house and they've done two walls i'll show you the other one too before we get off but i just sent them the color scheme and the mood board honey this is all their design this is all they're doing and they're gonna do more hey but we're just trying to figure out like I want wallpaper here we're gonna figure

out shelving first and then they're gonna take over they're gonna do it all I love this is this may I ask is this a rental yes ma'am I okay so I when I was renting my apartment I regret not decorating it the way I want it to like the whole apartment I did my room I did built-ins I nailed things to the wall that I did not unnail when I moved out but I regret not doing that to the whole apartment because we kept it pretty neutral so like when we moved out we wouldn't have to like repaint and stuff but it's like yeah it's just a coat of paint who Who fucking cares? Make your space yours. Yeah. And I feel so much joy in like nesting.

And now it's like even harder for me to leave my apartment. But I'm honestly not interested in owning a home for myself. I want to do like business investment, but I want to keep that overhead low, baby, and keep making more money. Like I have a good fucking setup. I have no interest. It's just me. My apartment is fucking huge, Nicole. And I have a

swimming pool in the back that nobody uses. There's 16 other tenants. Yes, girl. I'm rent-controlled. I don't pay for water. We're not going anywhere. No! Never fucking leave. Rent-controlled? I love Sex and the City. When Carrie Bradshaw was like, my rent-controlled

apartment, I was like, that's the New York City dream! Then I was like, Ooh, they got them here too. That's just the dream in general. Absolutely. Wait. So you're from,

you're from LA. You're from South central, South central Inglewood. Yeah. How did you end up in New York? Oh, I never told you this. No,

because I was screaming at how much I'm obsessed. I probably was like, you should wrap it up I think my internal dialogue was like her chicken is getting cold we should wrap it up um but I I got to New York so like every actor I quit about three times so during the time when I had quit I was like I am not not a 9 to 5 bitch. She cannot be behind a desk. So I went into all these other things that were creative. So I went into costuming. I went to film school. Like a lot of these reality show bitches that you see now, they were nobody in 2012.

And we were shooting their pilots very badly, might I add. I was very bad. But I was, you know, you was 23, 24. You out here, you just trying you feel me so I started doing makeup and I actually went to Priscilla Ono School of Beauty who's now the ambassador does all of Rihanna's makeup for Fenty the nicest human ever like I emailed her after we graduated like I have a dark-skinned girl she wants this she wants a pink lip tell me what to do she's like you mix this and this you don't need to buy expensive products like she's she's just a shit I fucking love Priscilla so at

that time you know in 2013 we did there was no Fenty no Pat McGrath you know uh makeup forever wasn't trying to be inclusive in shades baby we had MAC and that's it so that's it yep so I found this woman named who is still ultra famous like she had like groomed Biggie on the Juicy video shoot like she's that girl right and during that time in 2013 Nicole she was the only black woman that I saw that had their own makeup line she was selling it on QC baby okay what is her makeup line QVC QC I think it might be just her name QVC there line? QVC. QC. I think it might be just her name. QVC. There we go. QVC. So when I saw on Instagram that she had a website, I was like, oh, she got a number. I'm calling her. So I'd already researched her and knew that she taught a class. And if you work fast, if you do the class, you do really well.

She'll take her best students to work with her and work fashion week. So mind you, I am born and raised in L.A. and I can ride through the city with my eyes closed and nothing at the time scared me. Like I wasn't scared. Like I like, I need a little fear. I need a little rah. Like I need a little, Ooh, you know, like that keeps me on my toes. That keeps me like excited. Right. But I was so bored with LA. And so I called her, she didn't answer. She called me back and I was like, Hey, I know you don't know me, but I'm not, I'm another black woman who does makeup. Can you please tell me how to have longevity in this business? And she's like,

you know what? Normally I don't do this, but go ahead, shoot. And she gave me the realest and best free game that I've ever gotten about how much I charge. She was like, well, how much do you charge?

I was like $60. I said, I'm like $50 to $60. And she was like, and you go to them. I said, yeah, I go to them.

And she was like, and you set up your chair and you bring your light and and how much is your your uh foundation cost I'm like 45 she was like I charged them 600 to come to me okay oh and those numbers especially in a black girl from the hood like that I'm like what and she told me like she's seen these white women out here charging a thousand dollars to pluck just to do a little she's like girl if you do good makeup and I do good makeup why they gonna pay us what we worth they not gonna do that why would they do that and she taught me she said you need to charge 250 minimum she was like you could do these bitches that want to go to the club you do brides all of

that but if you have a constant rolodex of about five people, you know, that's a cute little 750. You making them up. Why not just do that? Right. So then she was like, hey, you know, I teach a class. I play stupid. I said, oh, my God, what a class. What is a class? And she was like, yeah, you know, and I bring my best students there. So if you come and you and you do the class, you can, you work fashionable with me I said say less I was so broke Nicole I could not drive to the bank to put the money in the savings and the check-ins I had to call my best friend Dorian who she lived right up the street from me my best friend's on 4th and Hardy my mom was on 104th and Prairie she had to come get me take me to the bank to put the savings and the check-ins and I bought a one-way ticket to New York and my mama was like me I'll get your ticket back I emailed her shit to like here here's

my ticket and she said oh you're not playing I was like no man and to this day never heard from wait you never heard from her no so you went all the way to New York and didn't hear from her yep I said there is a. The Lord knew she was instrumental in me getting to New York because I needed the opportunity. I needed to know that there was a reason and a purpose to buy the ticket. I think she texted me maybe three weeks later.

And I was like, hey, I decided to move here. She was like, congratulations or whatever. But as far as that opportunity, never heard from her about that ever again. So what I did yes ma'am but what I did was see because I'm solution oriented almost to a fault that's why sometimes my friendships um don't go as planned because I'm not finna sit here and you finna complain to me all day like I'm so pragmatic I'm like how do we get out of this and then then we don't want to feel this no more, right? Okay, boom. So I hit up all my homies from LA, because you know LA or New York.

So a lot of my homies in LA had connects to New York. So I ended up dressing the models. And I had went to Alvin Ailey to audition to be a part of their summer intensive show at a high school. I started as a dancer. Like I am originally a dancer. So I always wanted to be in New York, always. But when I went out there, still was not acting with that. Hang it up.

It's done. We didn't audition 50, 11 times. It's not for you X. That's what I thought. So as I'm like being with the models and like dressed in all of them and everything like that and making friends, Nicole, I will, everybody was broke. Don't nobody got no money. And I said, well, Hey was broke. Nobody got no money. And I said, well, hey, I ain't got no money. Hey, you out here doing this, why the fuck can't I do it? But still hadn't registered to me that I was going to stay. I went to go look at an apartment. I went on

Hull Avenue. Yes, that's a real place, if you don't know. Hull Avenue. Where's Hull Avenue? I forgot. Is it in the Heights? I forgot where it is, but it's H-O-E. It's a real place. And so I went on Ho Avenue and I went to go try to look at a place to rent. And it was, you know, a crackhead in the corner. It was a trap house. It was, I was going through it. So then finally, it was the second to last day before I was supposed to leave. And I went to go see Motown the musical with my friend Larry Powell because his good friend, Donna Weber, who is now starring in Hamilton, the king, he was starring as Barry Gordy. And Larry was like, we have to see him.

But like Motown in 2013, Nicole, it was like Hamilton. Like, honey, Diana Ross was waiting to get a ticket. No, I remember. Uh-huh. It was real. Larry walked right past that line. He was like, no, we're going straight to the source and we getting a a ticket. No, I remember. Uh-huh. It was real. Larry walked right past that line. He was like, no, we're going straight to the source and we getting a damn ticket.

The lady didn't want to give us a ticket. Larry was showing him pictures of him and Donna when they was in diapers. He's like, this is my best friend. We have to get a ticket. He was like, well, we're just going to sit here and have faith. She said, there is no faith.

Like, she was a real demon. She literally said that to us. Like, if I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. So then she was like, two tickets just became available. And so I, like, give her my card. She was like, no, I want cash. So I had to run across the street, overdraft my account, get the money out, give her the cash. And she gave us orchestra seats, Nicole.

The bitch didn't even know she gave us orchestra seats. And so I watched that musical, and I, like, cried like a baby because at that moment, God was like, you were on the wrong side of the stage. You are. This is like, girl, hello. That's why I say your dreams are like a boomerang, because you throw that bitch and it's just floating. It'll never leave. And I'll come back and smack your ass and be like, this is what, hey, bitch, this is what the fuck you're supposed to be doing. So then we go backstage and I talk to Charles Randolph Wright, who's amazing director of Motown. And I'm sitting there, Nicole, on like 42nd Street, an empty audience. It's just me, him and Larry.

And I think the guy who played Blue from The Temptations, his name is escaping me right now. And he said, you live with fear. Just dragging me on that stage on 42nd Street. And he said, you have a responsibility to live your dream and you have to do it now. And that has carried me these past 10 years because no one ever told me I was responsible to live my dream, that I had to be accountable. And no one had expressed that with that sense of urgency. And that day I called my mom and I was like, I'm not coming back to L.A. And it turned into eight years. Damn, I didn't know you were out there for eight years.

That's wild. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you a little bit about yourself. You know, you remember Anthony Atamanek, right? The king. I love him. Why people can't stand him? Because he'd be like, y'all know we racist. Just let's get it over with. I love him so much. I love him white people can't stand him because he'd be like y'all know we racist just

let's get it over with i love him so much and i used to work in the training center and i got real drunk one night and then was so hung over the next day and i was sleeping in the teacher's lounge and he was like what are you doing and i was like uh do you want something because like you know i was like chill whatever um and i was like do you want something and he goes no i don't want anything you're too talented to be like this you got to stop drinking so much all the time and i was like oh my god anthony's telling me this and that stuck with me because i was like okay we can't go to you know work hungover yeah we can't you know if you have to do something like show up on time or you know close on time i'm a very late person it's very bad but you know yeah get there do the damn thing fucking do it um so wait how did you

make your way back to so how long did you work in the daily show three years and then after the daily show you made your way back to la well i made my way back to la ish in the pandemic because trevor is very kind he was like i don't give a fuck if you go to Croatia do you have wi-fi like do your job that's it so like in 2020 like three months into the pandemic like I just could not do it thank god I had the best roommate in the world him and his partner they had owned a home in Jersey so they just stayed out there so the apartment to myself but because we was all staying home I was ear hustling and the motherfucker who lived two floors up from me was talking about how he was trying to like you know macgyver some shit to get rid of these bed bugs and i said oh hell no oh hell no i gotta stay in the house and i have to

work and try to make light of motherfuckers dying and try to figure out this shit and it's a it's a flesh eating disease i said i emailed my boss i said no ma'am will not do it i wrapped up all my shit i put him like tidy them up and put everything in like big trash bags and came back in 2020 but i still have my apartment in new york because i didn't know what was going to happen and then american auto we was on ice like i'm very grateful nbc like they still were like hey you know we'll keep you updated this and this and that and but we didn't know so I came back 2020 and was still working daily show working from home and then 2021 once we got the series order that's when I made my exit from the daily show and officially came back to LA that was a

whole wild time because same with Grand Crew we were like we were supposed to shoot the pilot I think or no maybe we we were supposed to have like a table read the day before like everything shut down and then we were just like okay yeah I had a fitting. It was so grim, Nicole, because Jaboukie, shout out to Jaboukie Young White, okay? Yo, he's so funny. And also, and now rappers, fashion needs to, Jaboukie, I can slap him. Doing everything. Yeah, like leave some jobs for us, Jaboukie. I love Jaboukie so much because I was in our like

little nigga group chat at the Daily Show and I was like, y'all, they stealing all the toilet paper on these shelves. Y'all, I ain't got no toilet paper

at the house and I had no food. Nicole, because I was eating at work at the Daily Show and then like, my life was so like, you know,

in New York, bitch, you fucking like shower and sleep and shit. You do not go. I don't, I wasn't grocery shopping. Shout out to Jaboukie because I went to his house and he had all these like food for me, like pasta, beans, pasta sauce.

And then he had toilet paper, like literally toilet paper. Like Jaboukie held me down like the first three weeks. He was the corner store for you. Period. The first three weeks of the pandemic, I'm like, bro, I wouldn't have been able to eat or wash my ass. Didn't have no bidet. He hooked me up with some flushable wipes. I said, you the real AVP.

But yeah, it was really grim. That time, Lord Jesus. Yeah. Oh, it was so sad. It was not good. Yeah. Real quick, we have to take a break. Real quick, we have to take a break.

Oop, oop, we're back. Okay, I have a question. Are you single, dating, don't want to say, married? What's going on? Divorce. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, I was going to be like, ooh, juicy. No, no, not divorce.

But lately, I've been meeting a lot of divorce days just randomly because I'm just a people person and talk. So they were like, yes, such and such, and I'm recently divorced. I'm like, congratulations. And they're like, you know, yeah. I'm like, no, we need to start saying that more because you chose. You got out of something that you didn't want to be in. Come on. Like, that's amazing. You said no.

You set a boundary. You realize you were aiming too low when it comes to love and romance and relationships. So that's everything. But yeah, so I am single. I am open to dating, but it's just trash. Yeah, I was talking to another friend about it. It's bad out here right now. No, as the Latinos say, as we say basura, it is trash.

Ooh, garbage, basura. When I was in Spain, I love big trash. I love things that are big that aren't supposed to be big. In Spain and Barcelona, they had these giant trash cans. And Sashir had left me at that point, so I was alone. I remember flagging down somebody and I was like, can you take a picture with Grande Basura? And the way this person looked at me.

But they took my picture and I was very happy about it. So wait, you're half you're half Hispanic you're half Mexican half Mexican half black yeah okay do you speak fluent Spanish no I did shred out the puss I was doing it and then I think because my mom was so nervous and being like we are in America she was like this is America Donna Glover like you you need to speak English and I think she was like you she my mama is so big on like you need to have a job you need to have money you need to be able to make it so I think because we were in America she was like you speak English so she has some qualms about that because she's always like me I wish I

spoke Spanish more to you and I said it okay. I'm actively trying to learn it now because I do want to learn it. It is important for me to learn it. But I can read it and write it like a motherfucker. I can, oh my God. I'm so good at it. That's kind of, I don't know. That's like half the battle.

Yeah. Wait, so what are you, are you on the apps at all? Are you on Tinder or Bumble? Here's my thing. So I'm new to the apps because I was very old school and very delusional. Like I wanted someone to come like, you know, I'm in Barnes and Nobles. He drops a self-help book that we were both looking at.

I go down and pick it up. His hand touches mine. We both rise. And it's just like like what you won't do hey do for love that's gonna be playing in the background and it's like period this is it um so no that has not been happening so I was okay let me just try on the apps because I am very busy like I am a big sister and I take that like very fucking serious like my baby brother is my everything is my world is basically my child and we're 17 years apart so I'm really like his mother

um second mother and so I was like you know what let me get on the apps so as I got on it I was telling my homegirls I'm like what the fuck is this because it seems like these niggas will get in your dms it seems like you respond they get like a hit of serotonin they think they're actually like attractive and like about something and then the shit just dies i'm like it's giving like instagram but but but tender like it's giving like you just want these likes you just want these hearts you feel me i have been very successful on raya with making friends. But the same thing.

Like, these men are not applying no pressure. Shout out to Raya because I've made amazing connections. I'm about to have dinner with my homeboy tonight that I met on Raya, who was there just for friends. I am making great connections with friends. But No Shade, you know, we're really at capacity with friendships because I really care about them. And you have to nurture them. And you have to hang out with them. You have to remember birthdays

and then they had surgery. You have to give them flowers and it's, you know, like all of that. So no success on the apps at all. So I'm just kind of like, listen, I am a firm believer that everything I want, I will get. And I think it's supposed to,

it's going to happen what is supposed to happen. But it's been very, it's been very bad I like Raya is so interesting I love that you're having a good time on Raya I like did not come to Raya to make friends so like I turned it off so I can't see anybody who's making who's like only here for friends okay also i just like all i deleted all the apps off my phone for now i just it's it's soul crushing like i can get rejected for a part or whatever and i'm like whatever it's like not actually personal you just found the person that you want and then for dating it i shouldn't take it personally it's like you you found the person that you want i'm not it whatever but i just it just you know hit after hit it just

is really getting to me so i was like you know what let's take a break are you are you actively getting matches and then going on dates from these apps i was you was okay well here's the thing because i kind of approach it from a logistical i'm such a producer i'm such like a bit so i'm like data numbers okay this is what we gotta do so i'm just like get your google sheet out I'm like okay this is what we got to do out of I had to date about 30 guys half will maybe make the cut and maybe seven will be continuously interesting five I'll be like okay that's cool and then we'll probably be down to two so I think the fact that you are like actively dating you know the saying goes like you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you get your prince I really feel like that may be what it is for you now here's the

thing I would tell you this is the first time that I've ever actively just dated because here's where your girl is toxic okay are you ready listeners okay pull up a fucking seat I never knew how to date I would just get with a motherfucker find myself just in some type of situation ship there would be no commitment that was ever communicated from his part but because I gave him some of my parts I was fully committed and then he would try to be like no but you my girl but then would date other bitches and be like but see you not my girl and it would be like no so I finally realized like oh oh, X, you've never dated. You don't know how to date. Like you make temporary people permanent, try to change them and fit them into your mold of what it is the person you should be. But you just need to fucking date.

Because in my 20s, like especially like early 20s, I kind of got my shit together around 28. But my early 20s, it was like, oh, I got to fuck it. What's your name? What's your birthday? What's your zodiac's your birthday what's your zodiac sign favorite color mother's trauma ever had a car accident you got a hep you got hepatitis hep b c d like it's just it was just so like oh I had to do this how many times but now I'm super

excited to do it and this is the first time in my life Nicole that I'm actually just dating no presh let's go to yogurt land I'll put on some aloe you know active wear and do a little skincare like it's not that deep and you I'm not trying to make you my husband I'm gonna have we're just going on a fucking date and I also actively pick places that I want to try that I would have gone to by myself because I date myself. Been doing that. I fucking moved to New York by myself. Like I'm very good in my own company. And that way, even if this motherfucker is a weirdo, this is a place I was trying to go be at anyway.

So I'm gonna have a good ass time. Cause I want to try these tacos. I mean, that's a good, uh, that's a good strategy to be like, I wanted to be here anyway, but food is fucking good.

So like it is what it is. You here anyway, but food is fucking good. So like, it is what it is. You're weird, but yum, yum, yum. I'm having a great time. Yeah.

Um, I'm not good at dating myself. Sometime every now and again, I'll take myself to like a movie and drinks or like a movie and dinner, but I don't do that enough. I just like, I like people cause I'm alone at home. So I'm like, if I go

out into the world, will I see a friend? Yes. Well, what's the number one thing you've learned about yourself while dating? Oh, I have learned that it takes a special type of person to really appreciate all of my energy, all of my little isms. I have a lot of weird things that I do, and I'm a very particular person. So it takes a person who has to love all of that for them to be in my life. And I've also learned that not everyone likes you. You're not everyone's cup of tea, and you can't force someone to like you. I've spent years trying to force men who actively don't like me to like me. And I think it's, you know,

daddy issues, a fun thing. Cause my dad was a very, um, like analytical person, math, science. He loved all that shit.

He was not a creative person. Um, and I felt rejected because, you know, he wasn't like disappointed in me, but he'd be like, are you sure you don't want to do some math on a Saturday? And I'd be like, no, but then later try to be like, but like, what about this? Do you like this about me? And that's what I've carried on to adulthood and have projected on men.

So I think that my little break is so like I can just do some soul searching. And I said to my therapist the other day, I was like, the idea of opening up to another person makes me want to walk into traffic. And she said, well, let's not do that. Let's figure out an alternative to that. Well, if it was LA traffic, you got a good shot. We move pretty slow. If you're on that 10.

Yeah, let me walk onto the 401 or wait, wait no 405 at uh fucking 5 30 p.m i'll be just fine baby you'll be just fine they'll be like hey you could do a whole hour you could do a whole hour of some new shit traffic will not fucking move period but that that's so good that you that you realize that um about yourself shout outs to you because everybody's are willing to be self-aware and be introspective and take that time. But I really will say that I think because my life is full with so much love, just love from my community, my girls, my friends, my work, my baby brother, my church family, like everybody is like, I'm just so full. My cup isn't

empty. So even though I'm not partnered right now, I don't feel that I'm void of anything. Does that make sense? Like, I don't feel, I always, it's always interesting to me in interviews, Nicole, and I'm sure they've asked you, especially because you have this podcast, like, you know, like, so who are you dating? Are you single? I wish they would ask us, do you have this podcast like you know like so who are you dating are you single I wish they would ask us do you have any friends because you'd be shocked you'd be shocked like yeah so how are your friendships going like I know people Nicole as fucked up as it sounds then because they're a problem they they're in their own way if they were to get surgery no one would be there in that room that's really fucking fucking sad. That is, it is so sad. And I do think about that a lot.

I think about how like, I have so many people in my life. I have like very good friends. And then I have this like group of people who are just in my life, like just around me who aren't necessarily, like I don't talk to them every day. I see them every couple months, but like,

I know if I call them, they'll be there for me. And the same like if anything happened to them, I'm there for them. That friendship is just like a bond. But like we all have different lives and shit and you know, other stuff's going on. But yeah, that is so interesting to me that some people don't have that. And I feel very full in my life and grateful and loved until I get in the shower. And I don't know why this happens. I'll get in the shower, that hot water hits and I go, why am I alone? And that's the only time I'm ever like really sad about it. And I have no idea why. That hot shower triggers that. Nicole, you got to take cold showers now. We got to get rid of that. I think that's what that means. I mean, I feel like I'm not a therapist,

but I watch a lot of Iyama Fix My Life. So, based on those seven seasons, I think you need to take cold showers. Maybe I do. Does she still make new episodes? There was one episode where she told someone to scream into a hole, and that made me laugh so hard.

I love her. I love her. She is is such i would produce her stand-up her and dr umar i want to produce they stand up specials apps so fucking i don't know dr umar dr hold the call you gotta do dr dr umar is the biggest whole tap if there was ever to hold a tap in the world there we go okay i'm into it i'm very into it he thinks the nba uh has something to do with the passing of our dear king kobe bryant he sure he he i'm telling you he got something like i mean you said ho tap and i said great it is so funny because he wanted to have he said he wanted to open up an all-boys school no sorry

well you want to open an all-boys school right to teach uh young black teens amen but then he said Nicole listen listen listen bitch he wanted to open up a black revolutionary sports bar, non-alcoholic. Hey, that's very funny. Wait, wait, Nicole, I don't even drink and I wouldn't even go to the bar. How is this a bar? And there's no beer. But nobody's drinking. I mean, I guess that's just, I don't know what that is. A cafe.

Dr. Umar is so funny, but you know what's funnier, Nicole? You know a broken clock is right twice a day. Sometimes he be saying some shit. Sometimes he doing, I be like, right. That's such a funny way to live, to have the wildest ideas and be like, a broken clock is twice a day is right. It's like, okay, friend,

but I don't know if you're right ever in a day right um can i ask uh have you ever drank or did you never you've never drank i have i have and it's just not for you no i grew up with alcoholics my family is truly like the debarges um so it's been a lot a lot of substance abuse that I've watched literally so many of my family members died um either by that or second hand like my brother was killed by a drunk driver when I was 15 so it was like so even though he wasn't drinking it was a drug driver it's like either it was them or one degree of separation yeah yeah so so yeah i have uh drunk before i've been buzzed and uh this is why kids that grow up in church should not be fucking sheltered because i got buzzed

didn't know it went to virginia to school for five seconds because college ain't my ministry but i went there and they were like it's not but go to school ministry i've never heard that and it's not, but go to school. College ain't my ministry. I've never heard that. And it's my favorite phrase. College ain't my ministry. You can't stay there.

They were trying to be like, you can major in English with an emphasis on musical theater. And I said, I want to sing, act, dance, put paint on my face and ride an elephant right now. Like I wanted to do. And I was like, first day, I I'm a star so what is this so I was like no not for me but while I was there for the little semester some change that I was there that I was at a college party and they was giving me drinks in a red cup and at the time I loved soda oh my god Nicole you cannot i was like kale i was like kale from kini kale baby but mine was cactus cooler not see i'm with orange soda basic cactus cooler is so good sometimes we have that on fire and i'm like oh a tree a tree so fire and so they kept giving me

that not knowing i'm drinking smirnoffs the little little wine coolers and I had like two packs to myself because I'm like I'm feeling a little woozy I'm feeling a little light okay this song no and my hum set just came out and I was like hey my huh my huh I said no you you really feeling this song and I was like okay something's wrong they were like bitch this what you was drinking ha ha ha it's funny and I said oh no oh no but that's what happens when you grow up I grew up apostolic okay I don't know if you know but we like the Jehovah Witness of Christians we think that it's just us going child it's a mess like the way that we act the way that we act child that way it's like no it's just opposite it's just us period just us nobody else yeah we're going to the promised land nobody else is invited right

right it's like the last of us is going that's it that's funny yeah that's my sister also doesn't drink she once drank like a lobsterita at red lobster and was acting wild and i was like truly you did not have that much alcohol and she was like but you know she was just in the back seat rolling around and then i don't think she's ever had a drink since then yeah no and it's just so funny yeah i love being sober in mind and spirit i love it i used to take ed edibles for my cycle. Hello, let's get into some reproductive health. Wait a minute. You took edibles for your cycle? Because my periods were that bad because I had fibroids and endometriosis, but I got it removed.

Okay. Yeah, since I got it removed, the healing of my uterus, it was really, really fucking bad. Like, I've never been this bedridden. Like, after the surgery, it really got bad like I've never been this bedridden like after the surgery really got bad but then after like four months and it took me a long time to heal because they were like your belly button is so fucking deep it took an extra hour to get in that shit because I had you don't gotta tell nobody that you know you wake up you're like bitch your belly button I've ever been in that's funny so they had to do an incision in your belly button was the deepest shit I've ever been in. That's funny.

So they had to do an incision in my belly button in the two sides of my tummy. Then they put the robot in there and then they slice that shit up like it's like, you know, rotisserie chicken. And they pull that shit out. So I had big fibroids and I had the big dog was inside of my uterus. She was like a supersized grapefruit. And then I had endometriosis on both sides of my uterus. She was like a supersized grapefruit. And then I had endometriosis on both sides of my uterus. So once all that was gone, I would say I really got to be in the clear and I'm constantly taking chlorophyll, like shod to all the homies with uteruses.

If you have a cycle, however you identify, I'm telling you chlorophyll will definitely help. So since then, I don't have to take edibles anymore but I used to take it because my cycle was so like I would be in the fetal position at the daily show writing jokes Nicole it was bad damn mine was really bad for a minute and my moods were really incredible they were like I would swing high and swing low and it was kind of just exhausting so I ended up getting um the implant like a like birth control implant. And I've only had it for three months, but my period stopped. And I truly was like, finally, it is happening to me right in front of my face.

And I can't even hide it. Finally. I was so excited because I have not wanted my period for about 10 years. Some ladies like it. It makes them feel like, you know, more feminine, whatever. I was so excited because I have not wanted my period for about 10 years. Some ladies like it. It makes them feel like, you know, more feminine, whatever. Or people with uteruses like it. I don't.

I hate it. I like to me, it has been a burden for most of my life. And it just kept getting worse incrementally. I'm going to try chlorophyll if it happens to come back. But Lord, oh, Lord. Have you ever gotten a transvaginal ultrasound? Because that's the main thing. Like I'm partnering with Planned Parenthood to do an event to get these transvaginal ultrasounds for free for 100 black women and black people with uteruses because we should be getting those yearly and no one's telling us about them. And no, I just get a pap smear yeah it's far more

invasive because shout out to my bro Christiana who was the other black female writer at the daily show when she saw how in pain I was and I'm like girl I like I was wearing overnight during the day changing every two hours she was like not normal have you had that and I was like no and she's like you need to see it as soon as I had a transvaginal ultrasound, boom, big fibroids, four of them, biggest day, right on the screen. And it's more invasive. And 80% of black women, we have them. So if you line up 10 black women, eight out of 10 of us have them, you know? So it's like something that I think you definitely should see and know just for reproductive health and not even if you want to have babies just for like the health like girl i can't tell you how small my tummy got after i took them suckers out like i was looking pregnant not even on my cycle you know just the lack of um consideration the lack of care for black women i didn't fucking know that eight out of ten of us have fibroids and it just makes me really fucking angry because it's like there's a lot of preventative stuff you didn't have to be in pain for as long as you were in pain and we could have nipped this in the

bud if you know you had the ultrasound it's just man really yeah i know that's what i'm telling everybody i'm telling any black person I see child I'll be in whole foods I'm like hey what's up what's your name oh Renee how's your uterus I'm girl I'm telling like Jesus coming back I don't give a fuck uh I'm I will be at an Uber and if she's a black woman driving me I'll be like Sid turned on that radio what's going how are your periods what's up because it's just not being talked about and it's just like no there is I'm telling you Nicole my life has been so much better my periods are like it's crazy how under control they are and also they say I'm you know I have an issue you know with the health

people and community but they say they don't have enough stuff to figure out whether or not we got endometriosis so I looked my at my surgeon, Dr. Trump. Shout out to her. She's done a lot of black women in entertainment. That's how I found out about her because she's done my homegirls. And so I said, I looked at her right before they put the anesthesia. I said, hey, you find anything else in there that shouldn't be, you get it out. She says, oh, I'm looking.

I'm looking. And sure enough, it was endometriosis on both sides of my uterus because it's so hard to see it. Yes, my homegirl had endometriosis on her anus. Like, you don't even know. Oh, no. It could be in your ass, Nicole. On the touch. Right in it. Oh, no.

I mean, it is truly so wild. And doctors miss shit over and over and over. I'm lucky I have a gynecologist who's like she's very caring and before she prescribed me the little implant thing she was like i need to get tested for blood clots to see if you are predisposed to them a lot of black people get blood clots and i was like oh thank you for being i'm like thank you that's the bare minimum do you know what i say like and a lot of doctors don't do the bare minimum so i was just like so thankful for her real quick we have to take another break. Be bop, boo bop.

We're back. We're back. We're talking pussy health. You gotta get that pussy checked out at least once a year. Ask for extra things. Absolutely. Trans vaginal. if you're bleeding heavy that's not normal if you're in pain every month that's not normal get it checked out

and shout out to my ob-gyn because she was the first one she is a woman of color she's indian um in beverly hills well now she's in culver city she's the first ob-gyn that didn't tell me that my heavy periods were linked to my size everybody keep like well it's because you're big it's because you're big it's because you're big and i'm like you know what's interesting a lot of doctors will say any like you could fall down and break your fucking neck and they'll be like it's because you're fat you were waddling around and you your fatness broke your neck you're like no i fell down the stairs it was like because you're fat you can't walk down the stairs, too much fat between your toes. They will blame your fatness for everything. And I didn't know this. You don't have to get weighed at the doctor. You can say,

no, thank you. And they go, okay. And then doctors are, they teach doctors that if you are overweight to talk to patients about weight loss. That is a thing that you were taught in medical school. And I didn't know that because I was like, I don't know. Like, are you going to tell a power lifter to lose weight? Like, they're probably healthier than you. I don't know. It's just there's so much fucking fat phobia. It is wild.

And that's all we have to talk about. I know we spent a bulk of this podcast talking about why don't you go get a transvaginal ultrasound. That's going to be the title of this episode. But we got to let black women know. It's important. Yes. Period. So like you are, what do you call

yourself? A woman of size? Fluffy? Fat? What do you call yourself? I don't identify with the word fat. I don't denounce it for other people. I feel like if that's what you want to call yourself? I don't identify with the word fat. I don't denounce it for other people. I feel like if that's what you want to call yourself, totally good. But it still is a negative connotation for me. But I do say that I'm a plus size woman.

I say I'm a thick girl, thick with two C's, period. I'm a woman of a bigger size. But I don't like to lead with my body. Like if you see on my Instagram or in my art or when I talk about it, that is a part of my experience. And that is an additional layer of oppression that we as actors and entertainers experience. But my body fluctuates. Sometimes I really, really love it. Sometimes I'm not fucking feeling it.

I'm actively working out now because I did gain an excessive amount of weight last year when my cousin got killed by the police. So it took me down a deep, dark depression and I had to be funny and to operate from a place of joy. So I just put that under the rug and my body type, I will gain weight if I don't eat enough. So, and then when I was eating just one time a day, it was like pork chop, mashed potatoes, you know, lemonade, you know lemonade you know so my body doesn't work like that so I'm actively working to you know lose weight and get tone but my thing is health it's not you know skinny so yeah so I identify as a big girl plus size thick with two c's yes I think it's smart for you not to lead forward with your body uh I have put my body just out

there um because I love the body that I'm in yes I will say it is very annoying when people have comments about it and I understand posting a picture in a bikini you're like literally asking for people to comment on your body but I'm not I'm just like I'm having a nice time and I hate it very much when people are like oh have you gained weight or have you lost weight and I'm like that is none of your business also it's like the least interesting thing about me and don't you just like this bikini I'm in like can't we just focus on that it's just the scenery the water of my face my brain and I think I think that is, it's very layered. And I think like, I'm just not someone that,

I don't think there's anything wrong. Let me say that with leading with your body. I think the work that you're doing, the work that Lizzo is doing, like the fact that like big black women and men know that there is a pop star that they could tour with, like that is never happened, never. never so like it's just it's amazing that she's opening so many doors she's like uh i feel like lizzo is a reparation for

martha wash who's that oh cnc music factory like she she's like the hook on so many different things okay it's raining, man. Yes. Never knew her name. She never got to have the career she deserved because she was fat. Wow. And I don't even want to tell you how many because I'm born and raised in church. And I know so many musicians and writers that write some of your favorite fucking songs. And that's just like what it is.

So I think what you're doing, just not only being a big black woman, but like being like brown skin and like being like loud and unapologetic about who you are. And that's what it is. Like, I think that's so brave. No pun intended. Buy her book, buy her book. And I think that's so courageous, but I just, I definitely am not in the space to be able to handle that and I think like this is the way right now that could change you know I don't know but as of today this is how I feel about my body that's why I'm not like I don't consider myself body positive because I think being incredibly positive about everything is kind of toxic. I'm like body neutral. It's like your body's what you have right now. And tomorrow it could be different. Yesterday it was different.

And however it is that day, let's embrace it. But also it's okay to look in the mirror and go, I'm going to wear a hoodie because I'm not liking the lumps and the bumps today. I don't like it. And then, you know, on a Tuesday you're like, yeah, let me just hang these little titties out. And you know what helped me so much, Nicole, is that I unfollowed everybody that only posted pictures of them that were photoshopped or filtered any BBL body. I unfollowed so many like celebrities and people and stuff who who were a unrealistic standard of beauty that I know was being pushed on to me and my life has gotten so much better because I was like why do I hate my body why do I think my body is fucked up and shout out to all the thick girlies and girls okay you your body is beautiful and it's the fucking clothes once I got me a tailor bitch once I

started buying clothes from the UK I said oh it ain't my body it's the way clothes. Once I got me a tailor, bitch. Once I started buying clothes from the UK, I said, oh, it ain't my body. It's the way y'all fucking make these. This shit is fucking terrible. Yeah, I was like, no, man. Well, a lot of plus size are just patterns that they make bigger and they don't accommodate for like your hips go in a little or your waist goes in a little. And it's just like straight up and down. You're like, what the what is this? No, it's terrible.

Real quick. Can we talk about um swarm oh so you you do a nude scene in swarm oh yes oh god speaking of talking about my body ever get to see bigger people be naked without it being a punch line or a joke and i loved so you play a stripper on it, and I loved that you were A, a plus size stripper, B, got to go to a party where sex happens, a sex party, and you're naked and it's not for a punchline. It's like, because yeah, men are attracted to us. People are, women are attracted.

There's all sorts of people out there attracted to us and it wasn't a punch line and did it feel freeing were you intimidated tell me about it Nicole I am still like journaling and like taking in how beautiful and like mind shifting and life-changing that moment was for. First of all, shout out to Carmen Cuba who casted me in that and Janine neighbors. And, and, and I'm sure there's more people down a Glover that had to go through all these casting tapes and,

and thought about that. But I, when I met with Janine and I was just like, sis, I've never seen my body get to be the fantasy and Lou nail in the, I'm sorry, Lou nail, little Nikki,

Adele and players club it was always a joke like chickie wing coming to the stage and she said girl we where we're from this is this is the bodies that we see adama evo shout out shout out to her and her twin to the evo sisters adama and adani they were like girl this this we feel like this is what we see like in Memphis and where we are like and so to be the fantasy it also revealed Nicole a lot of qualms and inappropriate thoughts that I had about my own body because I thought there was something I was like because my team was like you're gonna have to like be like topless so I was like okay and then it wasn't it to the point when me and Adama had a conversation and she was so kind and was just like let's talk about this scene ex on which you feel comfortable and do you want to just be topless or do you want to be nude and

I took a second and I just thought about what you just said how we are always the punchline we never get to be the fantasy we never really get to be the it girl like this this may be the only chance that I get to do this not say that this is the only chance a big black woman will get but this may be my only shot like this opportunity is very far and few in between and I say you know what I'll go nude I say bitch for Donald Glover for you for Janine I'll do it and and and I had to have a real conversation with the guy that I was with I was like hey how comfortable are you with touching me because what I don't want is for you to be like ew he was like no no no I think you're beautiful I'm like I you need to grab my titties you need to fucking touch my and you are paying for this service if I was a stripper and

I'd be like do your thing you would do that he was like let's go intimacy coordinator amazing and so and also Dominique Fishbeck because I had a real conversation with her because you know she was topless in the deuce so as soon as they were like camera rolling and I took that robe off she like locked eyes with me like are you okay like you good and I just like took a breath but I felt because I had just had my fibroid surgery like two months before so my stomach was smaller I felt so fucking free they like did all the little makeup like I had like got sugared I was like groomed so well and they fucking the makeup and hair team there was like you look so good and I you know what's funny is that the intimacy coordinator like she was she was so good that it got to be rude because let me tell you Nicole she walks out and she's like nobody look at x when she's walking behind the scene because

there's a scene that you see when Dre is with the white guy and I have to walk right and I'm like I knew you was a fucking freak so during that time you know there's like people who slay in the gaffer they're in that little hallway so she was like everybody turning left to right no one's supposed to look at so that's how I'm when they're like action and then I hit the corner I'm naked everybody's like oh and then you're just turning to the wall and I'm like nobody wants to see this I was like I said hey hey, hey, hey. Can we have a talk? Hey, hey. I told the girl, I said, you look at me. You objectify me.

This is my right. That is very funny. I just, I need this. I actually, we need the opposite. I need you to look at me. 100%. It's gonna be okay. We have to feel a little bit more comfortable doing this. I really love that. I also really love that you had to talk with the person you were in

the scene with before i think oh yeah or not if you're doing anything sort of intimate a kiss a hug where like you rubbing somebody a little bit talk about it he's so professional it takes two minutes i had a guy in a scene where he didn't talk to me before every scene and all day i felt like i was just dodging him grabbing me our director had to say at one point I know she's beautiful but let's keep our hands to ourselves and he laughed and thought it was a joke and then I had to talk to him later and be like the next

time you work with a woman or a person anybody where you have to touch them talk to them talk to them in the rehearsal talk like I don't like now I know much more how to advocate for myself if there isn't an intimacy coordinator on set. But boy, oh boy, is it a interesting gray line area because it's like we're doing a job. Yeah.

But like, how do you communicate your boundaries? Yeah. And but the intimacy coordinator facilitated all those conversations like she called me so much. She emailed me and like she called me so much she emailed me and like she was just amazing she was just like we we will not have any issues but she was not and I appreciated that so much not here like it was as soon as they say cut robes robes on like not here for it and I think like having black women at the helm, being the executive producer, the director,

and the leading lady, that I was like, yes, I'll get fucking naked. I'm in front of my sis, you know? And all the other strippers that were there, they were like, ex, you look so good. They was like this. And the way that they lit me and they were like, Adama,

she just kept reassuring me. And she was like, when I said I wanted to be nude, she was like, yes. She's like, ex, we need to see that. Like, I was never going to press you to do that. That's what I wanted. But if you just said the left tit, Adama, she wouldn't do it. She's on her left tit.

That's it. Would have been out. Would have been out. But I love Cheeks was the leader of the pack. She was smart. She was, you know, she tried to lead the women to safety you know at the end she was like we could say you know he fucking raped her like she was just trying to be solution oriented and I just appreciated that role so much and just to I I didn't know if that

chance was ever gonna happen again so I'm like you know what baby we finished showing my you we better show it show it yeah yeah I finished it in a night i like i stayed up till like 2 a.m watching it i i don't know i loved it so the first episode i was a little like i was like huh yeah i'm a little shook i don't know if i shall continue yeah and then it's funny because i love you you is about a serial killer and you start empathizing with him pretty early and then you're like kind of rooting for this murderer yeah i'll tell you something the way dre is written you're not meant to root for her you're meant to be like why won't she stop but i was rooting for her i was like oh yes she will i was like she'll figure out what she needs eventually which is an insane thing to say about someone who's out here just murdering people but i was

like she has grief that she hasn't dealt with and this is how it's coming out and also i think yeah i don't know i just i thought it was really fun and I liked it. And I know some people might roast me on Twitter with their opinions. Girl, goodbye. Goodbye. Here's the thing. This is for people with taste. Period. That's what I'm going to say. That's what I'm going to say. It is a mixture of Atlanta meets American Horror Story.

And I loved even the discourse on Twitter where people are like, oh my God, this shit's too weird for me. I couldn't fuck with it. I love that. That it made you feel something. Because what I didn't want is indifference about the show. Like, I could go either way. I'd love to turn it on.

It could be background noise. But there are people who really, really fucking loved it. And people were like, uh-uh, this shit's too wicked for me. And I love that. And it's number one in the U.S. for a reason. So it's a lot of motherfuckers fucking with it. And it is an amazing, if you haven't seen it, it's a psychological thriller about this woman who's a stan who goes to extreme criminal level activities to protect and uphold her stand-up in regards to this big pop star named Nija. And it's played by Dominique Fischbebeck who is the queen and it was amazing it

was so good and i love that uh in the end she get what she gets what she wants that's what i loved i love that her character had a one and she got it i also love that the ending is pretty ambiguous but also is not ambiguous and also the documentary episode, I really want to interview the woman who plays the detective because she is so fucking funny. And this is one of those things where you're like, where the fuck have we been hiding this bitch? The woman who plays the social worker, also incredible. And I was like, where have we been hiding these women?

But the thing is, they do such good casting that this is what they look like. Yes, that was like a thing i really appreciated that oh my god like from from her linen and her multi-colored autumn uh the necklaces and just her little mannerisms when she's looking at the camera when she's waving that little finger with an they do they like i'm telling you i and here's the thing to fellow actors artists anybody out there that apply for something and got rejected a quick little testimonies that I have I auditioned

for Atlanta season three and Atlanta is one of the first shows in a very long time that I was like I fucking have to be on this show got really close they went with the name came back was like can you fly out tomorrow because they were shooting in Europe and then they went with the name, came back, was like, can you fly out tomorrow? Cause they were shooting in Europe. And then they went with another name. And I was so heartbroken. I shed a few thug tears and the Lord was like, delay is not denial, you know?

And this, this thing, this character in swarm is a far bigger character, far more iconic, far more standalone. And it's a whole different series versus me coming in you know on an already well-oiled machine which I would have been grateful for so if you are out there and you are applying for something and you got rejected I'm telling you have no idea

what else is cooking you have no idea on the other things that are happening that are far greater and far bigger yeah I mean, that's what life is. It's just failures until you succeed. Yeah. And then too, it was like, I mean, I got, I did really good on their audition to the point that they were wanting to use me. So I was in their Rolodex of people like,

oh yeah, this girl, you know, like, and it was really great to get. When I got that audition I was like this is insane like I fucking have to do that and then Jamal Laurie who was the writer on there who was wrote one of my favorite episodes of Atlanta like he's just a fucking beast and to be on that set with people that were like ex-improvised please do your thing and the other fellow strippers wanted to play so much a lot of that shit you saw, we improvised and just, we just played so well together.

And I think that is what really made us a fan favorite. Like they really love us on Twitter, which is great. That's so fun. I am not one of those people that don't care if people don't like what I do. I do.

I really do. And if Black people don't like it, it hurts my feelings. I want Black people to love it. Period. I do. I, do. And if black people don't like it, it hurts my feelings. I want black people to love it. Period. I do. I, yeah, I'm a little different. I don't mind if people don't like my shit.

I'm not for everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, well, thank you so much for being here. We've come to the end. Yes. Do you have any parting words about love or dating that you want to say I think uh if you are someone that is like single and you're out there and you're dating and you're

trying and it's just not working just know that it's a numbers game you are gonna be with who you're meant to be with but I don't believe in just like sitting at home and thinking that a fucking, you know, angel is going to ascend and come into your house and be like, this is who you're supposed to be with. Because just as much as I knew that Swarm was an opportunity that I knew I wanted to be mine, I still had to audition, right? You still have to put yourself out there.

So I think continue to put yourself out there. But if you do get in a situation like Nicole, where you're just like, this is like not fun and depleting, go back to center, go back to yourself and realize that you have love all around you. It comes in different forms. It doesn't have to be romantic. But until that happens, enjoy your time in your community. I like that.

Thank you so much for being here. This was delightful. Thank you, Nicole. Oh, and watch American Idol on Tuesdays, 8.30 p.m. and watch Grand Crew on Thursdays. Thursdays, right? No, they put us on Friday

and it streams on Peacock on Saturday. Yes. Okay, watch Grand Crew on Fridays at 8.30 and the next day on Peacock on Saturday. Yes. Okay. Watch Grand Cru on Fridays at 830 and the next day on Peacock. Shout out to niggas. Yes. And American Auto also streams on Peacock. And honestly, this is a dream. So if you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you can like it, you can rate it,

you can subscribe and give me five stars on Apple Podcasts. If you write me something nasty hitting on me to whywont you damey podcast at gmail.com i will read it this person said as a gay man i have no clue how to braid hair interesting uh i would want to practice my crafting skills using your nether whiskers ew i would strip you down lay you out on my queen bed oh queen spread your legs then prop them up on a couple of pillows. Then I would pull up a braiding tutorial on YouTube. X your fucking face. And go to town on your curly southern locks until they're good enough to be featured in a magazine at Superclips. That's not even one of the worst ones. Okay, bye-bye. Oh my God. Okay.

Bye-bye. Oh, my God. That's it for Why Won't You Date Me with me, Nicole Byer. Why Won't You Date Me is produced and engineered by, oh, the sweetest woman I know, Marissa Melnick. It is executive produced by other wonderful people, Adam Sachs, Joanna Solotaroff, and Jeff Ross. Thanks for listening. I love you. Thank you so much. We'll be seeing you next Friday with a brand new episode.

What a dream. What a dream. Ha ha ha. This has been a Team Coco production.