Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Writing Heated Rivalry (w/ Rachel Reid)

Episode Date: May 15, 2026

Author Rachel Reid (Heated Rivalry) joins Nicole to chat about the wild, viral success of her steamy queer romance novels and the hit HBO adaptation. She shares how she met her husband while performing a smelly, hockey-themed burlesque act, and the dynamic that keeps their 20-year one sided open marriage working for them. She discusses the creative process behind writing explicit romance between men, and exactly why she absolutely does not want to hear your glowing reviews of her work. Plus, Rachel opens up about navigating her recent Parkinson's diagnosis.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTake our listener survey and shape the future of the podcast!Support this podcast by checking out our sponsors:• FirstLeaf: Get personalized wines, delivered. Head to TryFirstleaf.com/DATEME to sign up and you'll get 50% off your first box PLUS free shipping for an entire year• Wayfair: Get prepped for patio season for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerThis is a Headgum podcast. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode. We talk a lot about messy dating stories on this show, but you know what's making dating even messier? Lawmakers across the country trying to strip away our access to sexual and reproductive health care.

Planned Parenthood believes your body is your business. And you deserve the freedom to make your own choices. Whether you need birth control, STI testing, gender-affirmed, care or an abortion. Their health centers are there for you. But right now, politicians are actively attacking Planned Parenthood and trying to control our futures. Millions of people are at risk of losing essential care, especially those in black, Latino, rule, and low-income communities. Health care is a human right, which is why I'm so proud to support them. Here is a fun behind-the-scenes fact about the pod. I pay all my guests for coming on. But when they don't want to accept the

money themselves. I asked where they'd like me to donate their fee instead, and Planned Parenthood is consistently the number one organization my guests choose to support. And together with people like you, me and the guests on this podcast, Planned Parenthood can fight every day to build the future we deserve. Supporters like you, power this work. Donate to support Planned parenhood now at planparenhood.org slash defend. Description. me, why won't you date me? Another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single,

even though you could come in a book and say, that's my sticker book. My guest today is the author behind the Game Changers series and the hit steamy show, Heated Rivalry. Her highly anticipated new book Unrival Drops. What, Next Year? I'm so excited. It's Rachel Reed. Yay.

Yeah! Rachel, how are you? I'm great. Busy, great. How do you write a book? It's terrible. I would not recommend it all. What made you want to write?

I wanted to write originally because I just needed a creative outlet. I had like young kids and my life had kind of changed a lot because I was like in a band and doing lots of creative stuff going out every night in my 20s, living downtown. Then I got pregnant. and we moved to the suburbs and then, you know, I was kind of like the only one with a baby and then I wasn't really going out anymore and doing the creative stuff

and after a few years, I just got really sad. So writing was like the creative outlet that I think made me happy again. I love that. It was just like an escape for you so it was like, okay, I got these kids over here but I could go into a room and like go to a different world that I've created.

Yes, exactly. Although I wasn't even in a different room because I was actually sitting on their beds waiting for them to go to sleep while I was writing, which maybe sounds messed up, but that's the truth. No, I don't think it sounds messed up. I think it's nice to be like, I can be in here, you can fall asleep, I'll do some mommy work,

and we'll both be satisfied. He did rivalry is not the first book in the series. It's the second book, yeah. And you got a DM from Justin who created the show. Jacob. Or Jacob, my God. Jacob Tierney? Jacob Tierney.

Okay. So you got a DM from his. him saying that he wanted to option the book. Yeah, that was after all the books were out, all six, yeah. And what was that like? Did you think it was a joke? I would have been like, he, he, ha, ha, who the fuck? What? No. Basically, yeah, because he's actually like a pretty big deal in Canada. And so he followed me. And then I thought, you know, that was a mistake. And then, and then he DM'd me and said that, you know, he wanted to option my books. And I, yeah, at first I was like this can't be real. But he had a blue checkmark, so I was like, it seems real. And then we had a

Zoom call and it was real. And then he made the show. What goes through your mind? Like when, because the books are popular and that itself is an achievement when people aren't really like reading, you know? So like, yeah, walk me through that. Like, what did that feel like that the books were a hit? And then what was it like when it was like, oh, now not only are they a hit, but like, now it's going to be a TV show. Yeah, I'd never thought they'd be adapted. I just didn't think they could be because they're pretty, they're pretty raunchy.

So, yeah, I think as each book came out in the series, each one sold a little better than the one before it. And that was a good feeling. It still wasn't enough, like, I certainly wasn't making my living writing or anything like that, but it was like, I was doing decently well for like a side hustle, you know? And then I think, yeah, And the sixth book came out in the series, which is basically the sequel to Heeded Rivalry. It's the next Illion Chain Book.

That one did quite well, considering it was e-book only, basically. Were they all e-books? Yeah, they were. And so the versions that you see in bookstores now only came out in November 24. So before that was mostly entirely e-book and audiobook. So, yeah, it was pretty awesome to start to, like, make, like, real money. when the long game came out, especially when they weren't really in a lot of bookstores.

So, yeah, but then when the TV show became a possibility, I mean, obviously I didn't expect the success that I'm getting. I don't think any of us did, but like I definitely thought this could level me up significantly. But yeah, it's been wild. I could imagine. Like, it is fucking crazy to be like, this thing that was in my head, that I put on paper, and now it's a visual medium

that people can then see, and then the two actors from it, people are like, obsessed. A little bit, yeah. In a way that I was like, we gotta get everybody into therapy. We gotta, my God. But I did, like, watching it,

I was like, it is so romantic and, like, horny and fun. And I think, I don't know. there was like a kind of a death of not like romantic things. Like the 90s, I feel like there was like erotic thrillers and things like that that were like, ooh.

Like I watched, I had never seen Dracula. And my friend Mark has a whole list of movies that he wants me to watch. And we were watching it. And I was like, people watch this in the theater? We were all just getting horny in the theater like that? Yep. They were. And I'm like, bring it back.

And you did it. So thank you. And that was, I remember in Jacob's first conversation with me, He was like, you know, there's no, like, sex on television anymore. That's not, like, harrowing or violent. And he just, yeah, it was something he wanted to try to bring back. And I think he was very successful. I have to agree.

It was very, very successful. Everybody I know has seen it, which I think in this day and age, like, I think it's called, like, monoculture where everyone saw the Sopranos. Everybody watched the office. And it's like there's so many different things to watch. that everybody isn't watching like one thing, but everybody watched Heat at Rivalry. And I think that is so fucking cool. I mean, we never,

I never expected it to have this wide an audience. It's an unlikely hit to be like this globally loved. Like, there's nothing about it that on paper you'd think, oh, everyone's going to watch and love this. But they did. It's Canadian. It's hockey. It's gay.

It's very, yeah, it's like sexually explicit. It's so many things. It's a small production. show, unknown actors, like just the whole thing. You're like, yeah, this will be a hit. So you're married. Mm-hmm. He's over here. It's nice to meet you. How did you guys meet? We met doing burlesque together. I love this. That's a very early 2000s meet cute, I think. It really is. It is of a time. When people were doing burlesque and, yeah, it was like a little scrappy burlesque troop in Halifax, Nova Scotia that was like doing stuff for charity.

And, yeah, basically he was the keyboard player, like piano player for the show, and I was the one who had a car and could drive the keyboard to and from rehearsal. So that's how we met. And what was your act? Oh, I was named Misconduct, and I did sports and largely hockey-themed stripping and comedy stuff and some music. Did you come out, like, in full. hockey attire and then slowly take off every piece of it. For one of my act I did and I borrowed it from a guy and it smelled so bad. And I went down to pasties, I think. Yeah. It was fun. That's so funny. I wonder if anyone in the front row was like, who we, this lady,

ooh, my God, the smell coming off is not okay. I tried to air it out, but man. Yeah, when I lived in New York, there was a little closet on. the floor I lived on, and this guy put his hockey stuff in that closet. So, and then the door would close. And then there was also, like, garbage in there. So it was, like, garbage and the smell of hockey equipment. So, like, I absolutely know what that smells like, and is and not good. It's the worst smell.

I don't, I can't, I don't think there's a worse smell than hockey gear. No. It's so bad. It's nasty. And I'm like, and then they just put it on? Yeah. I don't mention this in my books, but they smell bad. So bad.

So when you, like, did you date a lot growing up? Were you a late bloomer? I was kind of like always had like a long-term boyfriend kind of girl. And so like I actually, like I was only, I think we figured out the other day, 22 when I met Matt, my husband. So that was basically the end of that. Like it was like, it was kind of like. So we've just been together for, you know, over 20 years. That's kind of been it.

That's really boring. It's not boring. I do not think love is boring. How do you make it work after 20 years? That's a long fucking time. Well, I think we're a little different, I guess, than a lot of couples. Monogamy is not like a big deal to us. It never has been.

You know, that's not something I've ever really found works that well. I don't think for most people. I think it's a little forced for most people. Not everyone. So that's one way. And I also think just like giving each other space and like you don't have to like all the same things or do all the same things. Like we used to take like separate kind of trips and stuff like that. We don't do that as much anymore.

Like I'm really busy so we don't like see each other as much. So but yeah, I think things like that. like just give each other space to be your own person. And, you know, I think our values are the same. And like we really get each other and support each other. But like I think a lot of people are surprised that we're a couple sometimes because we are very different. But it works, I think. Sounds like it works.

It's been over 20 years. I kind of like the whole like taking vacations on your own or like not necessarily having all of the same interests and taking time for yourself because I don't think I could ever be in a relationship where, like, I have some friends who are in relationships where they do everything with their partner. And I'm like, good Lord, y'all live together, y'all do shit together.

Don't you get sick of one another? And they're like, no. And I'm like, they do. They have to. I'd say most of, like, I'll go out with my friends. Matt will go out with his friends, like, totally separately. It's pretty rare that we're both going out to the same thing. And that's fine.

And it's like, I think that works really well. Mm-hmm. In high school were you dating? You said, yes. You said that you... I had the high school long-term boyfriend. Then I had the college long-term boyfriend, you know, both of which I thought were very serious and we'll definitely get married someday. Yes.

You know, all of that. But were you monogamous with them? I was. Yeah. But I think it was just, I was so young. Mm-hmm. That you were like, oh, this is the thing that I'm supposed to do. Yeah.

And I think, I mean, I'm basically most like, I'm with Matt, too. It's just like, because for me, you. Like, I'm too lazy to, like, I don't really want it, like, look for anyone else to be with. I'm fine. I'm fine. Perfectly good where I am. That's a lot of work and meeting people. But, yeah, Matt's free to do whatever he likes to do is kind of the thing.

How did you to arrive at that decision? Was it a, like, vocal decision or was it just like, hey, I don't care? Yeah, I think it's something we talked about quite a bit over the years. Like, Matt's bisexual, he's openly biosecually. He's openly bisexual and wanted to explore that. And I was totally on board with that. And again, it's like it doesn't concern me. Like, that's something he can do separately.

It's not like a thing where I need a report or like I want to be involved in that in any way. It's just, yeah, you go do that. You know. Be funny if you were like, and my stipulation is I would like a report. I would like bullet points of things that happened and when you had the most fun. But no, I get that. the opposite of that. I want none of that.

Go do your thing. Yeah, I get that. I like that. I, so my, the nice man in my life, my current partner, went to like a bachelor party and they went to like a strip club and like some of the, some of the women who were dating the guys who went were like mad about it. And I was like, LA. Like, I was like, honestly, you got a stop the stripper. I don't care. Like, what are you going to do? Leave me for a stripper in Vegas. If so. No, good luck. Godspeed, you know? I don't think that's happening. I think she wanted your money and that's where the transaction ends. And I'm like, how are you mad about that? Like, it just like really blows my mind when people get mad about things like that. I'm like, that has nothing to do with me. You had a nice time. Whatever. You came home to me. I like it. That's sort of, I mean, I think I even said to Matt once, like, it doesn't really make a difference to me if you go to dinner with a friend or have sex with a friend. As long as you're coming home and like, you know, you're still the dad to our kids.

You're like, you suck a dick. You eat a steak. I don't care. Do the dishes. I don't care. Do the dishes. I don't care. Yeah.

I love that. Yeah. What you do when you're out with other people doesn't really matter to me as long as we're still good. I like that. I think that's a healthy way of looking at things. Real quick. We got to take a break. I love a good.

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It was an unorganized mess. I had my crops in random plastic pots I found in the garage and absolutely nowhere to sit and admire my hard work. But then I went on Wayfair. They have absolutely everything to completely transform your space, no matter your style or budget. I found the most gorgeous raised garden beds for my crops and a beautiful wooden potting bench and some incredible patio seating so I can literally just sit outside with a drink and stare at my tasty tomatoes. Wayfair is a total one-stop shop for outdoor seating, patio lighting, storage,

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all at the same time, okay? So, we decided to book a stay on Airbnb, and it just makes it for a way better trip. You could find the coolest, most unique spots to stay in. We found a home on Airbnb that had an actual vintage airstream in the backyard just for lounging, plus this gorgeous outdoor soaking tub. I was looking online, and you can literally find houses shaped like UFOs, or ones with giant telescopes in the living room for stargazing. We had so much fun cooking, a big group dinner together. Then we lounged around, laughing until like 2 a.m., which you literally cannot do when you're all split up into separate hotel rooms.

Next time you're planning a getaway with your friends. Do yourself a favor and book a stay on Airbnb. Writing about gay men. as a lady why that's the big question is it is that the question you get a lot?

It's the question I get asked and I never really have a great answer because for me it really felt like I just had this idea for a story and then the next one and the next one it wasn't really something where I was like I'm gonna write I'm gonna write gay romance novels about men

like that wasn't really like what I set out to do it just I think you just kind of I mean once you have a book that does pretty well. And then another one, your publisher would like it if you keep writing the same sort of thing. Well, this is the area you're in. Now you've got a brand. I mean, it is something that matters a lot to me, though. Like, queer joy is very important to me personally. It's very important to, like, my family and, like, my friends. And so, you know, that's one reason. And I just, I don't know, I guess I just enjoy writing it. But, you know, I'm very aware that I'm not a gay man. I'm not a bisexual man. So I do try to like, you know, keep that in mind what I'm writing and try to be very sensitive about that.

Mm-hmm, which I think that's really wonderful and appreciate because it's like, how do you be an ally without like overstepping? And I think it's a hard road to drive down. I don't know. Anyway, I think the thing that resonates the most with it, it is queer joy. It is like, like nothing bad happens. Do you know what I mean? Like the episode where Shane tells his parents, you're kind of like, uh-oh, are they going to

like disown him? Are they going to be mad about it? And then they kind of just like have dinner and like, they're like, okay. And it's one of my, it's, I think it's my favorite episode because it's just a nice time. It's nice. It's very relaxing. It's like, nothing bad happened. And like love is shared and love is explained. And it's supportive. And it's just nice. Yeah. So you are consulting on it or a producer on it? I'm a consulting producer, which means like a little bit.

Like, you know, I get sent the scripts. I get sent like, you know, like this is who we're thinking about casting for this. I get kept up to date. I visit the set, things like that. But I don't really know anything about filmmaking. So it's, I just kind of, you know, step back and let the people that know what they're doing, do their work. What is something that you've learned about filmmaking? I think quite a bit.

I mean, I mean, not enough that I could actually make a film, but... You could. I think the first thing that really surprised you, because when I stepped onto the set the first time, that was the first time I've been on any kind of set. So what really blew me away was just the how many people were working and working very hard and very efficiently. And just also you get a sense of like, oh, there's a lot of money being spent on this.

And a lot of people really care about getting this story right. They care about these characters. They care about the little details on the set, like in the decoration, the costuming. And yeah, it really kind of blew me away. It was just even surreal to hear people like crew members talking about the characters and the story on set. Because I was like, those are my characters. This is my thing. So I think, yeah, it was fascinating, but also fascinating to watch Jacob work.

He's the writer, director, and producer, and he runs a really tight ship, but you can also tell that everybody really respects and enjoys working for him. So, which I think is why the show is so good. But he's so efficient. It's really fun to watch, watch him work. And I think I learned, I mean, I've talked to other authors who's, you know, experienced, with getting their books adapted, where it wasn't nearly as fun. And I think I've learned that I'm very lucky

to have had such an amazing experience that it's not always the case. Yeah, I think it's Brett Easton Ellis who did not like the adaptation of American Psycho. No, yeah, he didn't. Which I think it's crazy. Which everyone says is a matripeas, yeah. I think it's such a good movie, and I've read the book.

And I was like, I think they did a good job. But hey, you know, it's your thing. It's your baby. Do you think you'll, like, do you have any ambitions of, like, writing a different series with different characters? Yeah. I mean, I'd like to write something that's not romance even. Like, I'd like to try to branch out a bit. I'm also interested in learning how to write screenplays.

Yeah, just I'm open to writing all sorts of different stuff. I'd like to write something that's not hockey. Yeah. I just want to see if I can do that, frankly. Yeah. Bridge a do a bridge into tennis maybe. No, I'm kidding. Yeah. But I mean, you're in such a perfect scenario where you can learn about screenwriting, you know? You just like ask a bunch of questions and whatnot. And honestly, reading the scripts and dissecting them and like, you know, going online. Like, I don't know. Like, I can see this for you. I see you writing screenplays and whatnot. I would really love to. Well, I see it for you, Diva. Great. Great to hear.

Heard it from me. All right. When you, okay, so I also have written a book and I say book very loosely because it's a picture book. I have it. Oh, you do? Yeah, I bought it when it came out. I pre-ordered it. I actually have two copies of it.

Oh, my God, I might have bursted tears. I'm like really blown. I love it. Thank you. you so much. I had a word count to hit and I was like, well, I don't know if I'll ever do it. It was so hard. Yeah, that's my life every day. Wait, do you have a word count that you have to hit? A rough one, yeah. Huh. I thought authors just got to like pick the length of their book. Well, we do, but there's a

sweet spot I aim for. Oh, there was a sweet spot they were aiming for and I was just like, I don't know. What if I add another the? That's where I was getting down to. Like, what was the workout. Oh, girl, I don't remember, but it was not a lot. Maybe a thousand. Wow. So when you have like a first draft of a book, does it immediately go to the publisher or do you send it to friends to read first? I don't send it to friends. I send it to my editor. My editor McKenzie is usually the first person to read it. That's not me. Sometimes I do read to Matt. I'll read chunks of the book or let him read chunks of the book just to get a bit of feedback, but other than him, nobody gets to read it except my editor. Do you feel nervous about what the notes will be? Or do you feel like incredibly

confident? I'd say I'm still nervous. I mean, I've done all of my books with the same editor. So, you know, I kind of can guess what she's going to say about things. So I feel like my manuscripts are cleaner now because I can, while I'm writing, I can picture what she's going to say about something. and I can fix it as I go. But yeah, I'm always nervous. You know, I know she's not going to write back and be like, this is garbage, but I still always think, like, maybe, maybe this is the one that she's like, wow, we can't publish this. But.

Yeah. I feel like with performing, I've been performing for such a long time. But anytime I try, like, a new joke, I'm like, is the audience going to hate me? Are they going to throw tomatoes and tell me I'm nasty? But then it's just like, no, it always goes fine. It goes fine. I think like the release day is more nerve-wracking than when I send it to my editor. Or like when the review copies go out and the first reviews start to come in, that's the really stressful time.

Have you gotten any reviews that you're like, oh, you didn't get it? Oh, yeah. I don't, I try not to ever read reviews anymore. It's been like a long time since I've really read reviews, even glowing ones. But, yeah, those early, early ones. Can I ask why you don't like glowing reviews? I don't know. There's something that makes me feel weird when I read them. I can't really explain it. But I just prefer to not know what people are saying about the book. But yeah, the early ones have stuck with me. I know my very first review I ever saw of my very first book tore it apart. And I will never forget that review or who did it. So I'm like, yeah, things like that stay with you.

Do you mind telling me what that review said? Oh, boy. Because you won. You know what I'm saying? I can't remember the specific things anymore. You just remember that like it wasn't great. It just really, yeah, it tore it apart in a way that I thought was like very harsh, considering it was my first book.

But yeah, overall, the reviews for that first book were decent. So, I mean, there was no reason to focus on that one. Mm-hmm. I think I understand when you say you don't like reading glowing reviews because, like, when I first started acting people or doing comedy, people would be like, oh, I think you're really funny. And I'd be like, yes, yes, thank you, thank you. Oh, God, I don't, whatever. But then I worked with somebody who was like, yeah, well, they're telling you they like what you do. So, like, why wouldn't you be, like, happy to hear that? And now when people give me compliments, I'm like, yes, that's why I left the hell. House. Give me all of them. But like, I get it. It's like sometimes you don't really know how to like handle praise sometimes, at least for me. I'd be like, oh, that's too much. I'm just, I'm a clown. I'm just doing silly things. What do you mean? Like, yeah, that's how I've been feeling a lot lately because I'm like, I just write romance novels. But people really, really care about these characters, which is amazing. But on a level that I'm like, oh, this is starting to feel like a lot. Like, I feel like I need to

make sure to never let you down. Oh, yeah. That's fucking tough. Yeah. To be like, oh, I, you know, have set a standard and you've enjoyed it thus far. Hopefully the next one doesn't let you down. And you've got a full back tattoo of my characters. And now I have to make sure that you never want to get that removed.

That's wild. Yeah, things like that are a lot. It's a lot of pressure. But it's touching. But it's also like, yeah, I need to be a perfect person forever for this person. What is the thing in your life that has changed the most since the books and the TV show? I'm going to say I get recognized a lot, which is weird for an author generally, even a famous author. Like the biggest authors in the world don't typically get recognized on the streets.

And I do like every day. Really? Every day. That's cool. In every city I go to. So that's really weird for authors. Like, I can't really think of many authors, even my very favorite authors that I would recognize in public. Because you just don't see authors that often.

But because of all the hype around the show, my face is out there a lot. And a lot of people recognize me. I got free pizza at the Wiltern Theater last night because the concession person recognized me. That's nice. Yeah, free pizza's nice. Yeah. I got free dairy queen. once and my kids lost their minds. They were like, well, this is great. I would have lost my mind. I would have

absolutely lost. I love soft serve. Yeah, that's what it's truly my favorite thing. What's the weirdest thing a fan has done? Oh, boy. One thing is like, I get given sometimes really erotic art of the actors. And anyone who's, if you're listening to this and you've given me this art, it's lovely. I'm not a prude. I love, you know, erotic art doesn't have much than the experts. But, but, you know, But, you know, those are my friends. These are people I know. I'll just be honest. It's not on my wall at home.

I have it all in a place together, but it's not on display because I feel weird about that. No, I fully get that. Like, yeah, erotica art of, like, people you know. It's just like, well, okay, thank you so much. But, like, I know these people personally. Yeah. Yeah, I've had people not draw me. But sometimes they'll draw me in a way where I'm like,

is this really what you see? Because that's not very flattering. And then I have to say, thank you. Because it's like I'm grateful that you took the time to make it. Maybe I don't see myself in it. But like art is art. You tried, you weren't trying to make it bad. And art is kind of like in the eyes of the beholder.

But truly I've gotten some things that I'm like, oh, my word. Yeah, I'm lucky that I've only seen a tiny bit of art of me. It's always of the characters of the actors. Yes. So that's good. Although I've seen some nice art of me, very, you know, very lovely portions of me, which I appreciate. But no erotic art yet, which is good. I prefer not to see that.

Everyone. She don't want it. There's someone right now putting their paintbrush away being like, oh, God. So you live in Canada. Yep. The show broke through in the state, like, I get like the world. Like, what's that like putting Canada kind of like, I don't, no offense. I don't really think about Canada.

Not to be rude. It's not on my radar. When you think of sexy television shows, you don't think of Canada? I'm not like, ooh. But like, how does that feel to kind of like make Canada in people's brains? Yeah, I mean, that's been a pretty fun part of all of this. I mean, I think we've really shown the world. what Canadian film can do, what Canadian television can do with, you know, pretty, pretty small budget relatively to, like, Hollywood.

And, yeah, it's, like, a very Canadian show. It's, like, in Canada. There's a lot of Canadian places. It was filmed there, a lot of Canadian actors. So, and I think, like, you know, the parts of the show that are in New York are very clearly still in Canada. But that's charming. That's charming. I like it. But yeah, I think it's been cool. Canada as a whole has kind of lost their minds about having this kind of representation on the world stage. And the smaller places that they filmed in have really enjoyed like a tourism boom, which is really funny. And yeah, I don't know. It's been cool. Our prime minister is very into it. It's really cool.

It's really cool that something that started in your brain. You put it onto paper and you have created, you're a job creator. You know that, right? You have created so many jobs for people. That's been the best part, honestly. The success that I've seen people have, I mean, obviously the actors and people like that, but it's like the ripple effect of the show. Like, I've had people who do trivia nights tell me that this has paid their rent.

I've had fan artists say that they're now debt-free. I've had, like, you know, tattoo artists doing really well. I don't know, just like people that sell like different like little products and things like candles or whatever. They're doing great. And, you know, people like the actor's stylist groomers, like those people are becoming like kind of stars. And yeah, like even like the intimacy coordinator on the show has done a lot of press, the costume designers. I don't know. It's cool.

Like I think it's. You're very humble about all of it. It's crazy. Well, obviously, I'm doing okay too. But I don't know. It makes me really happy that all of these very talented people have, yeah, done so well from it. Mm-hmm. And then when does season two come out?

I believe it will be spring of 2027. Okay. Cool. Not sure if there's a month yet. Spring, I think, is the aim. And then you have unrivaled comes out next year. Yeah, June 1st. And then are you going to take a break?

Oh, my God, yes. Well, as soon as possible, yeah. But I do, next year will be very busy with a book tour and so forth. And season two. Do you do, when you go on a book tour, what is a book tour entail? I only know. I don't know. I've never done one.

You're like, I'm about to fucking find out. I'm going to see if I like it. Yeah, I mean, typically it's like you go to a different city pretty much every day. and go to a bookstore event. And then you read excerpts from the book? I don't. I hate doing that. So I usually do a Q&A.

Oh, okay. I prefer that. And then like a signing. Oh, okay. And there's audiobooks, right? Did you narrate the audiobooks or no? Oh, my God, no. Nobody would want that.

I don't know. Listen to me. That would be terrible. I think you sound wonderful. Truly, I do. No, we have some great narrators who do the audiobooks. My research shows me, my lovely assistant, Lindsay, does my research.

And she found that you make a Spotify playlist for each book that you write. I was doing that. I had them, yeah, I think, yeah, all of the Game Changers books had a Spotify playlist. It's probably still on there. You can probably find it.

I think tons of people have made their own. There's probably a million out there now. But basically it's just songs I listen to a lot while writing each book, kind of like the vibe of the book. But yeah, definitely for heated rivalry alone, I know even before the show. so many people made their own playlist, so there's tons of them out there.

Now, are you making these playlists before you start writing or during the writing? Usually during the writing. I might start with a couple songs before, but that are kind of like, this is like the tone I want the book to have. But for the most part, it would just kind of grow as I was writing. Also, you didn't have an agent when you wrote your first book. No. So I'm sure there's other people who are writing who don't know how to get public. So what was that journey like? Well, I basically just saw at the time there, well, at the time almost no publishers were doing queer romance.

So it was pretty easy to round that down to the ones I could possibly submit to. And then two of those had open submissions, which meant you could submit without an agent. So I submitted to both of them. And eventually, yeah, both of them did offer to publish the book. But yeah, I didn't have an agent for the first. Well, technically my first five books, I didn't have an agent. That's wild. Yeah.

I don't know if I'd recommend that. But I did do that. And, yeah, it's probably better if you have an agent. But I do love that, you know, not having an agent, kind of, it's a hurdle of trying to get something, you know, out there for people. But I like that you, like, persevered. and you were like, no, I'm going to submit my shit. That's what I'm going to do. Yeah, and then, you know, my agent reached out to me, so I didn't have to query for an agent. And that's the best case scenario when somebody wants you.

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So you were diagnosed with Parkinson's in 2023. That's right. You were like, what? Yeah, that was right. Oh, yeah. What was that like? Were you... It was awesome.

That is, it was a bad question. Great. You're like, it's perfect. I love it. But was it one of those things where, because it causes tremors, right? Yes. So. It was actually kind of a relief to be diagnosed. To figure out what's going on. I think when you don't know what's wrong with you, you just want to know.

Even if it's bad news, it's like at least you have an answer. And, you know, by the time I got diagnosed, I pretty much was 99% sure that's what I had because we'd ruled out everything else. And that process rules out some much worse things. So, yeah, it was kind of a relief to get the diagnosis and the medication and get started on treatment and stuff. Was it a journey to figuring it out? Because I feel like sometimes when something is going on with bodies, like, it just takes doctors too fucking long. Yep. And like, as a woman, I feel like sometimes you're not listened to. And you're like, I found out I was allergic to morphine because I was at the hospital. And I was like, I'm hot and itchy. And they were like, that's not a thing. And I was like, well, okay.

And then I said it to the doctor who did surgery on my ankle and he was like, oh, you probably have an allergy to morphine. And I was like, well, that's funny. That's funny that weeks later somebody is like, oh, that's why that happened. Yeah, I had this tremor for a long time, like a year. And, you know, I kind of thought, maybe it's Parkinson's because that's, you know, that's the first thing you think of with that. But, you know, the first doctor I saw was like, oh, it's definitely not Parkinson's. And so I was like, okay, well, that's good. And they said it might be an essential tremor, which is. honestly not like a lot better because that's like Parkinson's with no treatment. So it's like, I mean, it's different, but it's still a tremor that you have forever. So I just kind of rolled with that for a while, but then like it kind of was getting worse. And then there were like other symptoms. Like I was like, oh, I'm having trouble walking. My toes are curling up really tight. Like involuntary. I have all these like muscle cramps. And then, you know, so I went back to the doctor. And then they were like, maybe you should see a neurology. And I was like, great.

So a long waiting list for that. And then in the meantime, I, you know, eventually I did get some cat scans and one MRI. And that ruled out like some other things. And then I got to finally see a neurologist who was like, okay, yeah, I think that this is Parkinson's. We'll put you on medication. That sucks, though, that there is a waiting list. I feel like there shouldn't ever be a waiting list for like ailments. I know.

Like, see me. The neurologist I got to see was a migraine specialist, and she was like, yeah, I don't really know much about Parkinson's. But the waiting list for that doctor would be five years. So anyway, I now have a neurologist who does know about Parkinson's. So I'm good. But, yeah, it was a long journey. That sucks. When I broke my ankle, it happened in 2020, and it was like right before Thanksgiving.

and every surgeon, because you have to figure out your surgeon. I didn't know that. I was like at the hospital and I was like, so you're going to fix it? And they're like, no. And I was like, what? They're like, you go home. I said, okay. And then was at home and then called the hospital and was like, so what do I do now?

And they're like, oh, you have to find a surgeon. So then I was just calling surgeon, orthopedic surgeons being like, can you do my surgery? And they'd be like, no. And then a lot of them had very long waits. And then the way I found mine was my old or my manager's old assistant, his friend from college, his father was an orthopedic surgeon. So they like, slotted me in. And I was like, I had to know somebody. That is not the way it should be.

No. No. No, it really blew me away. Yeah, I think it's a little different in Canada, but still a lot of waiting. Yeah. Can I ask, do you have any advice for single people listening? Yeah, I think. Be open to someone who doesn't seem to be like anything like you.

If you feel like you connect on the things that really matter, which is your values, sense of humor. And I would say, do you have like respect for each other? That's like the most important thing. Like everything else, like if somebody's really into like a band you hate or or doesn't like your favorite thing in the world, like that doesn't matter. what matters is the values and kind of like what you want out of life to like I think that that part's really important I agree there's this lady on TikTok I like her name I don't know her name but I call her tacky teeth because she's from England and the video I first saw was her and her boyfriend getting new teeth in Turkey and they both just love each other so much and when I listen to her I'm like yeah

I don't think I could hang out with her but like she found somebody who's deeply, deeply into her. And they'll go shopping together and she'll be like, look at him with his new tape and his new shorts. And he's always like, just like modeling for her. And yeah, they might not have everything in common, but they like really enjoy one another. And I feel like, yeah, like a lot of couples miss that part of like enjoying the other person you're with.

Yeah, that's that's key. And I think for me too, I needed, like I, my boyfriend in college was super nice. too nice for me. So like that's a good example of like we we weren't the same enough even though I liked a lot of things about him. He was great. We got along really well. But like if I wanted to say something bitchy about something, he would like defend it. And I'm like, no, because now I feel like an even bigger bitch. And that's bad. So it's like you need like I learned that I need to be with somebody I can like give a side eye to and they know exactly what what's stupid about the situation that we're in, like, and we're going to definitely talk about it as soon as we're out of that room.

Like, that's important. That's important to me. It's important to me, too. The nice man in my life sometime, we were in an Uber once, and he had all of the windows down and was blasting, I think, Creed. Oh, yeah. That's a great situation to side out your partner. And he kept, he was a Tesla, so, like, if you touch the gas, like, you fly, but he was stepping on

gas and then slamming on the break. So it was like also my contacts were getting dried out. So I was like getting jerked around. And then I was like texting him. And then he kept being like, we'll talk about it later. We'll talk about it later. We're going to die to creed. This is the last song I'm going to hear. But mom, waddle. I'm like, Jesus is meeting me. But yeah, like it was, we talked about it at dinner for so long because it was so wild. And we were just like talking shit about the driver. And it is one of my favorite past times to do with him to be like, let's talk. shit. Yeah, it's so important to me. And that you don't have to even explain like you're both

totally on the same page about it. Yeah, I remember the first time I was complaining about a friend to him. I was like, well, they are my friend and I know. And he was like, you don't have to do that. You want to hear my thoughts about my friends? And I was like, yes, I do. And I just love it. I love talking shit. Yep. What is another thing that you guys do together that you like? I mean, we, you know, like most couples we'd like to watch TV together. Did you guys watch it at Rivalry together? We did. We watched the rough edits together. We watched it one episode per night so we could savor it and talk about it. And Matt's like my proxy crier. I never cry. So he's just

like blubbering next to me. Well, I'm feeling a million things watching it. But he's crying on my be half. I love that. Yeah. I love that so much. I love. I love. It truly just like makes me like, I don't know. I feel like the world is so sad and bad. But then it's just like, yeah, but there's human connection and there's human love and it's not all bad. Yeah, we can be really nice to each other sometimes. Yeah. I really like each other. And again, that's why I think people resonate with your writing because it's people being nice to one another. Yeah, there's a line, well, in the books and also on the show, that's like very much something that my husband and I say to each other all the time,

which is, I like you, I like you too. It's just like something that we say every now and again, just as actually pretty often. Just as like, I don't know, it's somehow to me it's like nicer than saying I love you. I agree. I said to the nice man in my life, I was like, I like you. And he's like, well, I love you. And I was like, I love you too.

But right now I really like you. Yeah, I think like you. somebody's a big deal. Yes. Because I've said this so many times on the podcast, but I had dated so many men who did not like me. And I knew they didn't like me. And I would just be like, well, maybe if I do this, they'll like me.

And they would just be so annoyed with me because I love talking and I narrate what I'm feeling at all times. But it's like, yeah, having someone like you is so much more important than having someone love you because it's like, oh, you might love my comedy, but then when we meet, you might actually not like me as a person. Do you know what I mean? Yep. And I've had people, when I used to do meet and greets, I have stopped doing them since just

because when you do an hour of stand up and then like a half hour to 45 minutes of a meet and greet, it's like, so now I've been performing for an hour and 45 minutes. Yeah, I totally get that. And then I got to do another show. Somebody was like, oh, you must hate meet and greets. And I was like, no, I just, I'm not performing right now. I'm just trying to, like, talk to you, meet you where you are and, like, have a nice time before I have to get ready to do another show. It's hard to meet, like, a lineup of people one at a time and beyond, because it's so important that you give them each that memory that they're hoping for.

Yeah. So it is, it can be very tiring. Yeah. Rachel, thank you so much for being here. Oh, thank you for having me. It's awesome. We've come to the end. Do you have anything you want to promote?

The special edition of Heated Rivalry coming out in September. That's coming out September 29th. Wait, what makes it special? It's a hardcover. Yeah! It's fancy. Yeah! It's got some bonus content and sprayed edges.

Oh, what does that mean? You know, like the metallic gold edges? Oh, that is fancy. Yeah, really fancy. So it's the same book but fancier. So you should buy that. I think my favorite thing about that is I feel like the only really sprayed books I see are Bibles. And I feel like this will be a Bible to some women.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's true, those gold edges. Yeah. Reminds me of the King James version. Rachel, I ask all of my guests this. Would you date me? I think I wouldn't date anybody right now. Even if I, you know what, even if Matt's out of the picture, I just, I feel.

I can't do it. I just can't. Okay. It's the idea of having to, like, go on a date and meet somebody is scary to me. Okay. I accept that. And I appreciate the honest. Sorry.

I appreciate the honesty. No, it's fine. I won't walk into traffic. I'm fine. It's the whole world. I'm saying I won't date. No, I get it. Thank you so much for being here.

Truly, this was incredible. And if you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you can like it, you could follow it, you could rate it five stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. You could tell a friend, you could recommend the show on Reddit. It really does help the show out. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me to Why Won't You Date Me Podcasts at Gmail.com, I will read it. This person writes, hey Nicole, I want to shrink myself down to the size of a Hot Wheels car

and drive it all over your glorious curves. When I finally reach your Grand Canyon in parentheses, pussy, I'll park my little car, set up a tiny camping tent, and just live down there, lapping up your juices like a thirsty little woodland creature until I drown. From Max. Thanks, Max. That was disturbing. And I liked it.

That was a head gum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode.

We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man.

Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.