Wild Card with Rachel Martin - BONUS - Wild Card in the Wild

Episode Date: December 26, 2024

Usually for this show, Rachel is in the NPR studio in Washington, D.C., and the guests are famous people in another studio. But Rachel recently brought the Wild Card deck to Washington Square Park in New York City and asked the questions to people face-to-face in the park. Today, we're sharing some of the answers we heard.To listen sponsor-free, access bonus episodes and support the show, sign up for Wild Card+ at plus.npr.org/wildcardSee pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hey there, it's Rachel, and today we've got something a little different for your ears. Wow, that's a really deep question. I'm really thrilled that you asked that. Oh, that is such a hard question. That's a hard one. Yeah, you hear that? It's people out in the wilds of the world. Okay, they're just in Washington Square Park in New York, but that place can be wild.

They were people I didn't know who agreed to sit down with me at my little table and microphone and share really personal things. about how they see the world. Strangers, who became way less strange after playing a couple rounds of our game. Usually for this show, I'm in our studio here in Washington, D.C., and the guests are people with some kind of public profile, and they're talking to me from wherever they are.

But all of us here at Wild Card have wanted to take our show on the road, so to speak. To get out of the studio, get away from the famous people, no offense, famous people, and test our questions out in the real world. So, yeah, Wild Card in the Wild. It was a beautiful day in New York, tons of people out and about. I talked with more than a dozen of them over a couple of hours,

and today we're sharing excerpts of a few of those conversations. Just a heads up, these are New Yorkers, right? So you're going to hear a little bit of salty language come up in some of these conversations. In this first segment, you'll hear from Sina, Diane and Akira. Two. Yeah. What's a place you consider sacred? A place I consider sacred is it doesn't necessarily exist for me anymore because my parents did have to give away my car, but it would be the car that I learned to drive in.

Do you tell? We went down in the car to make it sacred. Nothing out of the ordinary, just a lot of really happy memories. I think driving became an outlet for me, especially because I learned to drive during COVID. So that was kind of a time for a lot of people my age. We were bottled up in the house. We couldn't really leave. So when I was stressed about college apps, when I was stressed about school, life, whatever it might be, I would go in my car and I would just go on drives. Long drives. Sometimes it was two in the morning drives, but it was what I needed.

And it became a place where I just felt at home. I felt myself and whatever my friends needed to go places. or just vent, I was the first person to kind of drive over in my car, pick him up, and that became our spot for just sort of, you know, being teenagers and hanging out. Yeah. So I miss my car a lot. But it can definitely be sacred places. Yeah.

Even though it moves you from place to place, I consider it a place in and of itself. Yeah. Things straight. Okay. Is there anything in your life that feels like praying? Yeah. When I stop my clock and reflect upon where I am in life, who I have in my life, who I've lost, and in particular in the past six weeks or so, I've been to several funerals of relatives or people close to us in our lives.

That's a frequency that I haven't experienced before. and it's it's I sit there they're all people who believed in God in a very certain way I'm still on the wondering what if anything is out there list but when I think about these folks I think I hope that

that whatever they thought was out there is out there for them and I do hope that they can watch out for us and, you know, make things happen the right way. And so there's something religious about that to me. And, you know, whether there's a God out there or not, I feel like having hope and faith is something that I've come to feel comfortable with. Thank you.

Three cards. One, two, one. I'm going to go for that middle. Oh, you're feeling the middle. Oh, you want to read this. You go. You'll get it. What you got?

What's the lesson you've had to learn over and over again? What's a lesson you've had to learn over and over again, Akira? A lesson I've had to learn over and over again. I would say that it's okay to, I have to do things despite me. me being scared. Yeah. That's a big one. I think, like, I've struggled with fear most of my life.

You know, just growing up in a pretty chaotic environment. It was a good household, but, you know, when you grow up around people who are very argumentative, it can be chaotic. Yeah, so just learning that even though I am afraid of certain things, like, I still have to get it done, you know? Um, facing my fear as far as performing. I'm a singer. Um, yes, I love singing. Um, facing my fear as far as showing up. Um, because I think, like, sometimes when I feel those emotions, it's hard for me to want to show up.

Like, it's hard for me to want to, you know, be around other people. Like, literally, you don't want to leave your house. Yeah, like, I isolate myself, you know. Um. I never had social anxiety, but like, I don't know. As I've gotten older, it's kind of developed, and I'm just like, God, where is this coming from? Yeah. And you do have to push through it.

Yeah. Because you know what happens when you put yourself out there? What happens? You meet a person, and magical things can happen. You never know. It's true. But you do have to put yourself out there, you know? You do?

Yeah. Thank you. Okay, we're back. and in this section you're going to hear from Stefano, Molly, and Sachi. Okay. Let's pick the middle one. The middle one. You already know, two.

Okay. What do you admire about your teenage self? That there was a sense of I didn't have to fit in. And also wanting more to understand what was going on rather than partake. You know, that's the opposite for a lot of people. People would say when you're a teenager, you desperately want to fit in. And you're telling me that when you were a teenager,

you were not held captive by that. No. No. But when I was about seven, I said, there's got to be more than this. Really? As I saw what was going on,

where people were going through that. I had no reference, but something, and then I came out with a poem. Life is a strife, depending on one's latitude and attitude towards it. I love that. You know, so I was always,

He was trying to, my mind was moving. Well, it wasn't too many emotions going on that were kind of nourishing. So the mind was on a higher pitch, kind of took over. Where did you grow up? In Harlem. It's up on the west side, 125th Street, and Moneyside. Picked up a southern droll, even though Puerto Rican is that side of town. Yeah.

But I'm interested because you said that you felt that freedom to not have to in as a teenager, and that's something you admire about your teenage self, does that mean you don't feel that now? You stop feeling? No, I still, no, no, you don't give that up. For what? No, and it's, it, it makes things difficult sometimes to a degree because, you know, you're an outlier. You know, you ever heard of, you heard of Schopenhauer, the essays? So he writes this thing about society is like a warm, freezing night, and there's a, you know, you ever heard of, you and there's a can with wood burning in it. And it's warm.

It's a society. So you want to get just close enough to get the warmth, but if you get too close, everybody else pricks each other. Like your porcupines will prick each other. You know, see, it's like, and that's the way I was as a child, and now I'm realizing that it's suitable.

It's suitable. Not to say there's anything wrong with everything, but, I mean, I believe that if you really want to get to the R of life. You gotta go through the ouch. You gotta go through that rough thing. You gotta face yourself. You gotta change to grow, not be stuck.

And for most people, they don't wanna go through that, but they wanna experience the, so they go find a group of people, and everybody placates each other. And this is what we all do, this is what, and it just, it's not appealing to me. I'd rather be, if you could find, a group of individuals. I would love to join them.

All right. So, first questions. Three cards. One, two, or three? Let's go with three. Three. What's a lesson you've had to learn over and over again? The same lesson? Yeah. What's a lesson that keeps popping up? You think you figured it out, and then you do another thing. You're like, oh, it's this thing again. Lying about my age? Oh, come on. Yeah, no, it's been like a real, like a pro-like inconsistent.

I've always lying about being older, though. Oh, interesting. For everything. Like, for work, for boys, like, and I've continuously not learned my lesson. Eventually, obviously, it will catch up because I will hit the age. I will hit an age where I don't need a lie. But you know I need so much more for me now. Have you ever gotten yourself into some dicey situations because of lying about your age?

Almost. One time for work, my first job. did outside sales and I found out that I went to the same high school as this guy and he was like what year did you graduate and I was like and I just made up like a year and he was like oh my gosh I was like the year after you like do you know all these people and it was a job thing it was a work situation and I was like maybe I shouldn't be lying about this kind of stuff but you look like a fully formed young adult at this point I am now yeah should I ask you how old you are yeah yeah I'm 29.

Yeah. Really? Really? I don't stop. I don't say that. Okay. I'm embarrassed. And I don't do it anymore.

But what was that the root of it? I wanted to be taken seriously. I always felt, especially as like a woman, right? There's that part of you. That's a female where there's that dynamic in a workspace professionally. And then being young. I wanted to be taken seriously. I wanted people to trust me.

And I wanted to. I just wanted these people to feel comfortable with me. And if I told them that I was 22 years old and I'm trying to sell them something or talk to them or have a professional relationship, that they wouldn't trust me because I was a child. Yeah. So that's kind of where it came from, I think. And have you figured out that you are, I mean, 29's a good age. 20 is a great age.

Like, I'm like, and I'm happy to say, I mean, it's the last in my 20s, so I'm happy to use this last year. And you've lived some life. Yes. Yes. So you feel settled here? I feel settled in 29. I'm not lying about my age anymore. Okay.

But it was a problem. I think it was. I mean, have you? Like, have you? I'm not about my age? Yeah. Well, I've definitely rounded before. Up or down?

Right? Yeah. Both? Well, let me tell you, Molly, as a woman who just turned 50. Holy shit. That's the answer I want. That's the response. Holy shit.

Wow. You, you know, there are all kinds of stuff that comes with getting older. Yeah. And so there's a temptation to, you know, to not say that quite out loud. And I think it's a real bad thing that women feel like you need to lie about. Definitely. Being older to get the authority and respect that you deserve.

And then when you start to age, then you feel this pressure to fudge about your age going in the opposite way. Yeah. Because that only leaves a certain number of years where you're supposed to be perfect, the perfect age. And that's sort of bullshit. I agree with that. It's a tricky situation of learning how to be comfortable and confident in yourself, that your age doesn't matter in the grand scheme. That's right.

It's interesting to even hear that just that it's going to be like maybe a thing that happens forever. Yeah. You're always working on it. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Honey, it was so nice to meet you. Yeah, you too. Thank you so much.

Yes, of course. Thank you. Thank you. Please don't judge me that I lie about my age. No, girlfriend. Okay, three new cards. One, two, or three? Uh, two, two.

Okay. What's something you think of very differently than you did 10 years ago? Oh, 10 years ago. Ten years ago. Ten years ago. Ah. Ah, so my son is now 22 years old.

And 10 years ago, he was still 12 years old. And at that time, I wanted to make him a successful person in the world of economy or like... Like financially, he wanted him to be successful. Like a good businessman or like socially. So money and whole. fame and connection, such kind of thing. I prioritized when I raised him. For example, my son went to a very good private school from elementary school,

so he's got a good connection with important friends. They're rich and famous friends. Yeah, yeah. With rich and famous parents. But so he is now a kind of person who lives. in that kind of world. But he himself is happy. But I'm not sure if it is good for him.

Now at the moment, like maybe he wants to be an artist, or I'm not sure, and he's not sure, I think, because I raised him in the limited world. And now you're thinking, you want his world to be bigger. Maybe, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, that's that difference. Okay, we're back with our last three wild card in the wild guess. Teana, Alain, and Ashani.

And by the way, we were working with a smaller deck than usual, so you're going to hear some repeat cards. Three cards, one, two, or three? I'll do three. Three. Yes. Is there anything in your life that feels like praying? Feels like praying?

Yeah. Mm. I think that when I'm being immersed in nature, that feels like praying to me, especially being in the ocean. So I'm from Hawaii. I was born and raised in Hawaii. I'm native Hawaiian. I grew up a few minutes from the beach. Did water sports my entire life.

Canoe paddling, kayaking, swimming, surfing. So I'm very in touch with the ocean. Exactly. And I think when I'm in the ocean, that feels like a, I'm called to like a higher self. and you look down, it's deep blue, you can barely see land out. It's really humbling. Humbling's a good word. Yeah, it's humbling.

Yeah. It's humbling. Yeah. Define what praying can be. Exactly. Exactly. And I think it invokes a sense of awe and deep gratitude when you realize that maybe the thing that I'm worrying about is not, it's not as deep as I'm making it out to be. It really trivializes these small things that it do seem worrying in the moment.

And here, obviously, the Hudson River is very different, but I live right by the Hudson. I'm on West 54th and 11. So when I need that moment of kind of stepping out of myself and from my worries, I'm like, body of water get me there. It's a centering. Somehow that water is still connected to the waters off of a water. Exactly. Exactly. And that's the thing that as a native Hawaiian who's grown up with that cultural upbringing,

a lot of our ancestral wisdom shares that oceans don't separate us. They actually connect us. Where's your mom? It's my mom. Good job, mom. Okay, you picked one. Is there anything in your life that feels like praying? Many things.

Yeah. A couple of years ago, I was a friend of mine, and I told her every morning when I wake up, I'm just grateful because I'm alive. Because every time I go to bed, I'm dead. And she was like, that's too much. But I still think you should be grateful every single day when you wake up and you... Yeah. Do you have a practice that's associated with that gratitude?

Or do you just, when you wake up, you save yourself? I'm Haitian, so I was born and raised in Pottney and Haiti. So I saw, because in Haiti they have Catholic and vood. so um which voodoo is not necessarily what the western will think about there's a bad part and a good part and there's a certain thing about voodoo then i i carry with me and everywhere a certain principle thank you it was a pleasure yeah let's know last one one two or three um let's do one One. Okay. What's a place that you consider sacred? Ooh. I would say the piano. I'm a musician.

And I feel like the piano and like spaces of music in general should be revered and held up as places of expression without censorship. And I think music has so much power to bring people together and spread messages in ways I think no other medium can. I think, you know, music comes in where words fail. And, yeah, I think the piano is probably my sacred place. I imagine, by extension, playing the piano. Playing the piano. A sacred thing, too. Yes, playing the piano and singing while I play the piano.

I think there's no better feeling. What do you like to sing? What do you like to play? Like, if you're having a bad day, you just have to escape into something. Eta James. Eta James. I really love jazz in like 40s, 50s, 60s music.

And I feel like those songs are almost a time capsule. I'm going to ask you to see Edith James. Okay. Oh my gosh. I could sing at last. Yes. Okay. At last, my love has come along.

My lonely days are over. And life is like a song. Thanks to everybody who showed up to talk with me that day in Washington Square Park. We hope to do it again somewhere else. Stay tuned for that. Until then, thanks so much for listening. This episode was produced by Romel Wood with help from Sylvie Douglas and edited by Dave Blanchard. Special thanks to Lauren Gonzalez, June Jennings, Nikolai Hammer, and Searing Bista. It was mastered by Robert Rodriguez.

Wildcard's executive producer is Beth Donovan. Our theme music is by Romteen Arablee. You can reach out to us at Wildcard at npr.org. We'll shuffle the deck and be back with more later this week. Talk to you then.