Wild Card with Rachel Martin - Seth Meyers likes being the punchline

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

When Seth Meyers started at Saturday Night Live, he saw pictures of famous former cast members on the wall and was convinced he had to become an actor. It took time to realize that wasn't his path. He's now celebrating 10 years as host of Late Night. His new HBO special is Dad Man Walking. He talks to Rachel about being best friends with your parents and embracing being the butt of the joke.To listen sponsor-free, access bonus episodes and support the show, sign up for Wild Card+ at plus.npr.org/wildcard See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Has ambition ever led you astray? You know, being on SNL, obviously, there are a lot of people that I was colleagues with who both were on SNL and they were having robust acting careers outside of SNL. And I was covetous of that. I'm Rachel Martin, and this is Wildcard. The game where cards control the conversation.

Each week, my guest chooses questions at random from a deck of cards. Pick a card one through three. Questions about the memories, insights, and beliefs that have shaped them. You make this mistake. if you walked down a hallway and you see pictures of former cast members. My guest this week is Seth Myers. Just because you got hired at the same place as Adam Sandler or Will Farrell,

that doesn't mean you're going to have their career. Sometimes the podcast gods throw all the wrenches at you at once. For this interview, I was taking the train from D.C. to New York to talk with Seth Myers in person. This is not a big deal when the train is running on time, but mine was not. And then when I finally did get to the city and I hoofed it to the NPR building, building, there was a fire drill, because of course there was. And Seth Myers had just battled traffic to get to our studios, and he had a busy day of other events promoting his new HBO comedy special Dadman Walking. So yeah, we had to take a minute to push all of that away and get

into the right headspace for our game. And one thing that was clear to me as we got going is that no matter what other distractions there might be, Seth Myers, is a person who likes to get things right. That may be part of why he's been so successful as a cast member and then head writer of Saturday Night Live and of course in his current role as host of late night. But it was fascinating to watch it in the context of this interview. Obviously, there are no right or wrong answers in this game. They're just supposed to be honest answers. But the moment that really made me see that side of Seth was when he called himself out for not being truthful pretty early on, which then opened up a different kind of conversation.

Seth Myers. Yes, hello. Hello. Hi, thanks for having me. We're so glad that you volunteered to do this. Did you volunteer? I'm not sure. I feel like I was asked and said yes.

Is that volunteering? Yeah, I'm going to say it is. I accepted the invitation. And I'm so glad. Well, I'm glad too. And congratulations on two counts. What's that? I heard that many months ago it was your 10th anniversary.

It was February. Of your show. Late night. Ten years of late night. Nuts. It is nuts. And I feel like when it's an anniversary like that, you get to celebrate. It's a whole year. Oh, interesting. Okay. I'll take it. No. Really? I barely wanted to celebrate the night. Oh, that's interesting. Just keep going. But when, I mean, you turned 50 recently, so did I. You didn't want to celebrate for a whole year? Oh, God, no. I wanted it to be over. I wanted everybody to move past it. Oh, move beyond. Okay. It was nice, though. Did you have a good 50th? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's about right.

Yeah. I think that's about right. Yeah. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I That's the tone to say it. No one's ever like, crush it. My 50th was out of control. No, it's not really that kind of birthday. Yeah. And number two, your new special. I do have a new special.

On HBO. Yeah. Dadman walking. Dadman walking. My favorite part of the special, well, there were lots of favorite parts, but I did like thinking about you playing board games with your kids and the physical contortion that one must endure in order to find the pieces. It was incredibly edifying. if that's the right word, how everybody responded to that.

Is that right? I liked how, because the first time you tell a joke like that, which is basically how frustrating it is that kids can't keep dice on the table. And I loved the first time I heard the audience react and know that I was on to some. Yeah. Yeah. I have an issue with games these days. First of all, cooperative games.

Okay. Do you know what those are? Yeah, working together, not against each other. I don't even know what that means. Like how are you? That means you're uncooperative. It does. Okay.

Okay, so this is a game. Okay. Oh, we're going to play a game now? We're going to play a game. Oh, great. So here's how it's going to go. Okay. Okay.

So there's a deck of cards in front of me. I'm going to hold up three at a time. Okay. And then you will pick one at random to answer. Okay. Each of them has a question that I would love for you to answer. You're just going to pick one. All right.

So it's basically I, if I don't like the question, it's my fault. That's right. It is your fault. But I should say there are two tools. at your disposal. Okay. So if you pick a card, I read the question, you're like, I'm just not into that.

You can skip it. All right. And then I will replace it with another from the deck randomly. Or you can flip it. So you can ask me to answer the question before you do. Okay. It basically just buys you time. To think.

Yeah. All right. It's three rounds. Mm-hmm. A few questions in each round. Mm-hmm. Are you ready? I'm ready.

Okay. Let's play. Let's play. Let's play wild cards. Is that, let's play wild card. Wild card. Great. I like the upward

instination. Okay, let's do it. Okay. Three cards in front of you. One, two, or three. Middle. Middle. Number two.

Yeah. What was a moment when you felt proud of yourself as a kid? I never felt proud of myself. And that explains why I've never felt proud of myself as an adult. My dad did a real. special thing. I had done an art project at school and it was a Christmas drawing and it was a bunch of reindeer going around in a circle around Rudolph in the middle. And this is not a good painting. And I know that because it is still on the wall and my parents home. But he brought it to a department

store, unbeknownst to me, where you've submitted art for, you know, prizes. And I didn't know this. And we went to this department store and we, you know, my parents were walking us through. And it had, I, it had won a ribbon. No. Yeah. That's amazing. And I almost, telling the story, I almost just got choked up saying it because. And it was a very lovely thing that he did. And it was very cool that he did it as a surprise because I do remember to this day, like walking around the corner and just having to process. One, that was something I did, and two, someone other than my parents had put a ribbon on it. Yeah. Can you produce art to this day? No, but that was my game plan for a long time. I wanted

to be an artist. I wanted to be a comic book artist. Oh, really? And my mom, you know, my wife is so exceptional with this right now with our kids, which is my parents are very good at seeing an interest and making sure they use that as the propulsion for, what my hobbies are going to be. So I wanted to be a comic book artist and my mom found a guy who taught comic book drawing. And I would go to this guy's house once a week and draw, you know, comic book stuff with him for a couple of years until I realized I wasn't particularly good at it. But, you know, still, I enjoyed it. That's awesome.

Yeah. Okay. You did great. See, it's so easy. So easy. So easy. Three more cards. Still in the first round.

One, two, three. One. One. Yeah. When have you felt most homesick? When have I felt most homesick? I, after college, I had the most wonderful two years. I worked at an American comedy theater in Amsterdam in the Netherlands, and I loved every minute of it.

But I, it was the first time I'd never been overseas. I'd never been away from my family. and I my family connects so much on stuff like watching sports together and the massive

time difference and I was the most I feel like I felt very far away from my parents mostly on like Sundays when I couldn't even sort of

you know check in with them during events of great value to us but in general I should say I don't often feel homesick well

I'm kind of I kind of gave you a phony answer, baby. Oh. I've never felt that homesick. Okay, interesting. Yeah. You are close with your parents, though. I'm close with my parents.

And I think one of the reasons I've never felt homesick is my parents have always come to us. So I have never felt homesick. And one of the reasons, because my parents still live in the house I grew up in, one of the reasons I don't feel particularly homesick for that is I am, my parents have an old English sheepdog. And they have had different ones over the course of the entirety of my mom. life and I'm definitely allergic to them. And when I thought I was, I was thought I was chronically ill all through high school. And then I went to college. It's like, it's an autoimmune disease. Yep. And then I went to college and I'm like, nope, it was the dog. We even went, I was telling

this story recently, I might, you know, because my dad is one of those people who will not accept. He was very frustrated with how sick I got. And he was, he thought there had to be a root cause. And so I remember we went to one of those allergy doctors where they do the prick test. Oh my God. I had that down on my back. Yeah. It's hard. And so, you know, your whole arm. And, you know, I remember just driving there, my dad being like, we're going to figure this out. We're going to make you better. Nobody should be as sick as you.

And then they did the prick test. And the biggest spot was dogs. And then we got in the car, he's like, we're not getting rid of the dog. And so, yeah, so I'm not home. And again, I, I, you know. Take a couple Benadry. You'll be fine. Exactly.

I'm very close with my parents. I see them a lot. So, you know what? I gave you a phony answer. Feel free to edit it out. No. I love that. It's not everybody who gets to say they don't feel homesick because their parents, whom they like, come to them.

We just have my brother just got married. And I was lucky enough to give the best man's speech. One of the things I said, because we did not have both at my and my brother's wedding, there were not a ton of blood relatives at our weddings. We invited a ton of friends. You don't like them. It's not that we like them, but they're just not. My parents are my closest friends. They're not just my parents.

Like, it was, it's not enough. It was a friend wedding. They happened to your parents. They made it in his friends. They didn't make it in his mom a day. Wow. Yeah. Pretty good.

Yeah, that's pretty good. Okay, so I'm going to put the cards aside for a second because I want to ask you about your special. Okay. Dadman walking. Yeah. It's fertile ground. I think so. Yeah.

Your family. It's the only ground I know. I mean, you know, because, again, Look, I have a talk show. Four days a week, I talk about what's happening in the world. And then outside that show, I mean, basically in a way that is incredibly valuable to me. Like, I am almost only a father and a husband, and it brings me great joy. So I wanted to have an outlet to talk about that.

It was not my show. And so that's what I got. And you've done it before. So it's not like your family is totally caught off guard when this happens, but I'm still interested in the conversation. the conversation of like, and now, Alexi, it's time. Yeah. It's time again. I'm going to bring out the laundry, talk about it on stage.

I think she, I mean, there's a great responsibility to the freedom she gives me to go out on stage and talk about it. Yes. She's very aware. And she also knew what she was getting into. I mean, she did, you know. At the beginning. Mary a comedian. Yeah.

And the amount that she gives me a tag to a joke about her, even at her expense. Yeah. And so, you know, she wants it to work. Yeah. And there are times where if I told her I was, oh, I'm going to do a bit about X. Yeah. She might say, please don't. But if I get it, if I get it on its feet and I reach a point where like it works, the audience laughs.

but they know I love you, right? Like, I mean, I think that all the jokes about my wife, my kids, my in-laws, my parents, like, nobody doubts I don't love them. Right, because it'd be weird. It would be weird. But, like, it's not, like, you know, there's some comedians or, like, when it's over, you're like, I don't know if Rodney Dangerfield likes his wife. This isn't that. But, yeah, so it's, but, you know, I do wait until it actually works before I'm like, hey, here's this bit. You can tell me if you don't want me to do it, I wouldn't do it.

I wouldn't do it. And, you know, more often than not, she's like, no, that's funny. That's good. And what about the kids? The kids, you know, I don't get a say. They don't get a say. Even though they deserve one. They didn't ask to have a comedy father. But I think if anybody watches the special and you said to them, now based on what you've heard, who's the dumbest person in the family, everybody would say me. So, you know, part of it, of course, is like how you structure it, which is, and, you know, there's a, I don't want to give anything away, but I will tell you. tell you, my wife's favorite joke in the special is the one about my inability to fold up a stroller. I am giving her the gift of me being incompetent, which I think she enjoys me saying on state. Yeah. And then your kids get bragging rights at school. The bummer is, for my oldest ash, you know, the fact that I called my first special lobby baby, sometimes people will come up to us in the park when I'm with my boys.

They'll be like, which one's lobby baby? And Ash is, I mean, I think he, as it slowly dawns on him, that nobody wants to meet a hospital babe. Right. He's kind of like, yeah. We have to give a little context. Your second born child was literally, was delivered. Yeah, in the lobby.

He came very quickly. Right. And it was a very funny story. Great story. You told it. And it's wonderful. And other. Netflix, Netflix was paying for it.

And the other kids are just like who I, you know. And then. Regular style hospital room. Because our daughter, Adelaide was born, we didn't even try to get her to the hospital. She was a homebirth. Oh, really? Oh, you guys learned. We did learn.

You're like, let's just keep it. And she's at her entire, the best is all three of my kids have the vibe of where they were born. Because she was delivered in a bathtub, beautiful homebirth. You know, first night of her life, slept in bed with my wife, you know, just the zenist. chill as kid. Axel, Lobby Baby, fully is like on his own clock. He will kick a door in. He does not, he does not care about what. Right. He's at home anywhere. He's like, let me do an inappropriate thing in a public space. I'll eat in the middle of the street. Yeah. And then Ash is like my, you know, my conventional first, who is just trying so hard to do things the right way.

So another bit I loved in the special is when you talk about how parenting styles skip a generation, or at least they're different. Yes. And your parents had a way that they raised you and your brother, and that is different than how you parent. Yeah, my parents, my dad yelled and screamed at me, and I was like, I'm not going to do that to my kids. And now I'm very ineffectively keeping my cool with them. And I think they're going to yell and scream with their kids. See, I totally agree.

I do think it skips. Yeah. Like, my dad had this thing. He was constitutionally. He had decided. He'd chosen a life where yelling. was not allowed. Yeah.

It wasn't going to happen. And that all three, my, me, my sister, my brother, we are raging yellers. Yeah. It is almost my preferred way to communicate with my children to the point now that I'm worried that if they're just out in the world and someone yells like, danger! Yeah. It would just be like white noise, like Charlie Brown teacher, because that's how I can do. I will say, I had a heartbreaking thing happening, which is when my dad screamed,

we were genuinely scared of him. Like, my dad was like that kind. I mean, not like, physically. But like he was an intimidating error, right? Whereas, and I was driving me the other day. And I was losing my temper and my son was in the backseat with his friend. And he said, oh my God, my dad's about to lose it. It's so funny.

And I just realized how I was like, oh, I'm just so neutered as like, whatever my dad had, I don't got it. It's just entertainment for them. Yeah, like this is really fun. Round two. Okay. One, two, or three. Three. Has ambition ever led you astray?

Has ambition ever led me astray? Not astray. I think that sometimes ambition maybe led me away from my strengths. But that was, I think, maybe competitive jealousy. You know, being on SNL, obviously, there were a lot of people that I was colleagues with who, both were on SNL and they were having robust acting careers outside of SNL and I was covetous of that and I mean I guess it's ambition I was like oh I want to be in movies too and I'm very you know slowly it dawned on me and it probably should have

dawned to me faster oh this isn't the thing I'm supposed to be doing like I'm I'm good at some other things but being an actor is one of them and I when I look back I'm like oh I waste at a lot of time and put myself through a a ringer that I could have avoided if I had just had the sense of like, you know what? Sometimes ambition for a thing is misplaced if you don't actually have the sort of underlying talent that you need to go along with it. Did you, but you came to that realization on your own. It didn't take someone telling you, that part's not going to work out.

I mean, I should say, like, I kept not getting cast. So it wasn't like anybody ever took me aside. You know, at some, you know, it's like, it's not like your agents are like stop. They're still like, hey. But I did at some point say, I'm. I don't want to go on auditions anymore, and I think I'm just going to – and at the time, you know, some other things happened that being promoted to Headwriters at SNL was it – I realized, oh, this is an accomplishment, and it should be enough for me, and I should maybe let go of that other chase. But that's a harder, I would imagine, headwriter at SNL, like, what's that career to – like, you – it worked out for you. Sure.

But when you're an actor, you're just like, I'm an actor. and then you have acting jobs. Yeah, but weirdly, I guess one of the things was I wasn't as much of an actor as other people in the cast. I had been an improv comedian and then I, you know, had this weird path that led me to SNL. And then you make this mistake if you walked down a hallway and you see pictures of former cast members and you think because you work at the same place they do, you're going to have the same career, you know. But it's a mistake to say just because you got hired at the same place as Adam Sandler or Will Farrell. That doesn't mean you're going to have their career. and a lot of different people with a lot of different skill sets come through SNL.

And so, you know, I'm very grateful that there was a patience with my time there that allowed me to find my fit. Yeah. You like what you do, 10 years on? I mean, right now, I like what I do more than anything I've ever done. Really? Yeah. Which I didn't think. I thought SNL would be the thing I'd love the most.

And I will say that my current job with my current place in life and, children and a family and my age. This is, it's, you kind of get to build a home when you have your own night night show for a decade. Whereas at Asinnell, you, you really felt like you were, it was like a twilight of an episode where you were just checking into a different hotel every week, even though it looked the same, you know, because it, just the energy of that show changes so much every week because there's no, you know, the ground is constantly sort of shifting based on the host and you can

ever sort of. And so now it's, I don't know, it feels like we've built something that's a little bit, it feels like nesting as opposed to whatever SNO. Okay. You want to do the one, two, three, or can I yell at a number? I made these cards for you. Look, they're so pretty. One, two, or three. Are these unique to each guest? No. Okay. But I do handwrite them. But once. Well, right. But still, I put real. You didn't make these for me. Well, no, but I made them one time. One time, my God.

And I took a lot of time. I hope my next question is, have you ever lied to someone dead in their face? And then I'm going to flip it and make you answer. One. Okay. Are you good at knowing when something should end? Yes. Relationships?

Uh-huh. Conversations, definitely. You're good at conversations? Yeah. Like ending them? Yes. Disagreements? Yes, I'm very good.

I once, I hope I don't get in trouble for this. My wife and my sister-in-law were fighting once, and I walked out. It was like during a very fraught Christmas vacation. It was like, we were all, too many people were in my in-laws house. This is a classic recipe. Just too many. Yes. Young children, everybody, and they were fighting in the hallway.

And I came out and I screamed. You know, some people deescalate. And they were both very taken aback. It's easier to end someone else's debate. I'm very good. I know when to walk away from an argument. I think I'm really good at that way. I think part of it is I'm more often than not willing to take the L.

Yeah. That's interesting. I think I'm happy to take the L in a disagreement for the purpose. of moving on. And relationships, I don't have, I haven't been in many toxic ones. I feel like I certainly am capable of ending those. But in general, I would think of the way I've built my life as wanting to maintain relationships, as opposed to wanting them to end.

I think it's a really, not to like, shine you on. But that's a thing I would hope to be able to teach my kids is to have the confidence and security, emotional security, because it takes that to be able to say, I don't care enough about winning this. Yes. You win it. And it's okay. And I'm not giving you false winning. I'm really like, it's okay. I'm going to walk away. I, you know, another thing, I feel like I was in, I think this is true of a lot of people. I was a far more temperamental when I was younger. And things ran very hot at Esedale. And there were definitely times where my instincts were to say something that would have been, relationship ending to people.

Oh, really? You know, just you're having an argument and, you know, looking back all shamefully petty, you know. But you didn't say those things or did you? No, and one of the reasons I didn't say him is because my producer and dear friend Mike Schroemaker, who works with me now, works with me now, I remember once saying what, you know, I'm going to go tell so-and-so, he's a, you know what? And he used to always say, it's a long life. it's a long life and the people that you work with here yeah what's not even about career he's like look the people you work with here what you are going through them is going to even for the ones that aren't your favorite people this is bonding and and you will need for the rest of your life you

will need these relationships to remember what this time was like and these people uh more of them are going to be at your wedding that aren't and uh and so i'm very happy i live by the adage of it's a long life because if it's somebody you think think might be your friend in the future. There's no reason to burn it down in the present. Last round, Seth Myers. Three more cards. Great.

I hold them up. One, two, three. Three. Three. It's big. Okay. How have your feelings about God changed over time? Oh, I have none.

They've been consistent. Yeah. So your wife is Jewish practicing. Yes. Yeah. Raising your kids Jewish. Mm-hmm. Right.

So when your kids come to you and say, say, have they lost anyone? Do they talk about what happens after you die? We've taught, we're very honest about death. Yeah. But we haven't had one that is, I would say, is seismic. Yeah. But like I also feel, you know, if my kids wanted to talk to me about like the idea of like religion and God, you know, I feel like I have a very strong, I would like to believe, at least a very strong moral compass that I didn't necessarily need to get through religion, right? I feel like, but I, because I don't believe in an afterlife, you know, this is it, right? This is our one chance.

So live like this is, this is the one that counts and don't do anything that you would regret because there's not a, there's not a second chance to get this right. Yeah. I feel like I was, I was totally comfortable in my spiritual ambiguity for most of my life, but then having kids was like, oh, what, what do I tell you? But I think they, they're more. comfortable in ambiguity than I think I often give them credit for, I think. I mean, you know, I do like, you know, they just started Hebrew school and I think, you know,

that's a, I think will be a very special thing for them that I didn't experience. And, you know, I almost look forward to seeing learning along with them what they're getting out of it. They're going to have to like get up and say a bunch of Hebrew and give prayers and make speech. The very low end, they'll get some public speaking skills out of it. At the very bottom of what we can ask. I think that, you know, if any religious tradition can at least make you comfortable in front of a crowd. Well, it was funny when I did a Strike Force 5 with my other four late night hosts. We should say this is during the pandemic.

You guys, you got together with all the late night hosts and you did a podcast. That was the right of strike. Oh, this right. There was been a lot of giant events. that upset at our schedule. But it was funny, they were all, I think all four of them said, you know, they thought about life in the clergy. And then they slowly realized they just liked the fact that, like, somebody got to go up and talk. Like, that was the part that appealed.

There's an audience. Everyone listens to me. Everybody's quiet. They listen. And so I do think that public speaking part of it is. I think that's a really nice piece of it. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. The last one. Okay. One, two. Or three. Two. What's something intangible you'd like to pass on when you die? I would, I really learned to love how other people are funny.

And it's very important, obviously. I want to be funny and I work really hard. But I've been in a great position being at S&L. And, you know, getting to, I was the late night show for 10 years, like just being able to laugh at other people because I get a lot of joy from making people laugh, but it is easier to laugh at other people. And it's always at your fingertips if you want to do a little bit of work to find it. And so I wouldn't hate if people remembered that I took a lot of joy in what other people were doing.

Yeah. And I mean, as far as like my kids, I just hope my kids. have a life that is, I mean, I just want laughter to be, you know, a big part of it for them. Yeah. And they, so far they have it. And, you know, again, it's the happiest sound. Right? Your kids laughing.

Yeah. So as long as they don't do it, you know, before seven in the morning. That's right. Or directly at you. Or at your expense, rather. I don't even mind that. You don't even care. No.

So it's a really good joke. I'm so happy to be just the rodeo clown of our home. Yeah. You know, they all just turn on me and it's the best. So we end the show the same way every time. Okay. With a trip in our memory time machine. Where you choose a moment you would like to revisit.

You don't want to change anything about it. It can't be the lobby where your baby was born. Okay. A moment you wouldn't want to change anything about. You just want to linger there a little longer. What moment do you choose? I mean, I did the White House Correspondents dinner and very high stakes and felt like it went really well. And I remember going back up to my hotel room waiting for my sort of friends and family to show up.

and that that moment of my parents and my wife coming through the door and being able to tell from their faces, how would it go on? I would kind of, I would like to go back there. It was really nice. It did a good job. Oh, it was nice. I was really, but it was also, I felt so supportive. Like it was so wonderful, they were there, and so many of my SNL friends were there. And it was that night in general, it felt like I had been a, I was one thing.

And then when that night was over, I think, I don't know. I feel like without that night, maybe I don't have this job now. And I, it was, it was just, that entire night, I wouldn't mind having one more run it. Thank you for sharing them. The new special is called Dadman Walking. You can see it on HBO Max. It's very funny. It's worth your time.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You won. I won. Thank you. If you like this conversation, you should listen to our episode with current S&L cast member, Bowen Yang.

He was really thoughtful about figuring out how to be famous and vulnerable and authentic all at the same time. This episode was produced by Cher Vincent. with help from Romel Wood. It was edited by Dave Blanchard and mastered by Patrick Murray and co-Tuckusugi Chernovin. Wildcard's executive producer is Beth Donovan. Our theme music is by Romteen Arablew.

You can reach out to us at Wildcard at npr.org. We'll shuffle the deck and be back with more next week. See you then.