Wild Times: Wildlife Education - "Alien" Mummies Uncovered in Peru - TWT 153

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

Enter the photo contest: https://forms.gle/YAzzKquv5P2yHbfWA We discuss Paul Watson getting arrested, Mexico being investigated for failing to protect the vaquita, and "alien" mummies that h...ave been uncovered in Peru. Episode 153 True Nutrition: Take the guesswork out of nutrition with True Nutrition and get 15% off with code WILD at truenutrition.com/WILD! #truenutritionpod MUD\WTR: Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your  @MUDWTR  order by going to mudwtr.com/wild! #mudwtrpod Mando: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with Mando and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code WILD at https://shopmando.com/! #mandopod Visit https://www.colorado.com/ Win a trip to Animal Con: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wildtimespod/subscribehttps://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod More Wild Times: Instagram: http://instagram.com/wildtimespod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/ X: https://x.com/wildtimespod Discord: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9Db Website: https://wildtimes.club/ Merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Battle Royale Card Game: https://wildtimesmedia.thrivecart.com/battle-royale/ Our Favorite Products: https://www.amazon.com/shop/thewildtimespodcast Music/Jingles by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey 00:00 - Start 01:37 - Paul Watson Arrested 13:08 - Mexio Under Investigation for Vaquita 29:26 - Grolar Bear 34:44 - Human Chimp Hybrid Conspiracy 38:29 - Peru Nasca Lines Alien Mummy 48:49 - Battle Royale This video may contain paid promotion. #ad #sponsored #forrestgalante #extinctoralive #podcast

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Starting point is 00:01:12 No problems here. I might leave before we start. This is the Wild Times. Welcome to the greatest animal and comedy podcast in the world. Wow. I'm your host, Forrest Galante, the broologist. Joining me are my other lovely two hosts, Papa P himself. Bro, producer.
Starting point is 00:01:27 Yeah. And Ph.D. in podcasting, Peter Skinny Pete Fitzer. Wow, Skinny Pete. He's getting skinny. here too. Hey, before we get into a quick mention that we have a bonus pod. It's now on Apple subscriptions. You can get four extra pods a month, ad free. Totally worth it. You don't have to listen to any ads. Not to mention, we're giving away a trip to AnimalCon if you sign up for those. Yeah, all you have to do is be signed up on Patreon or Apple or any of those places.
Starting point is 00:01:53 And you get a free trip to AnimalCon come and hang out by the pool, drink some booze with us. Lastly, before we get into it, we have a photo contest. We already have over 200 submissions. We are reviewing your photos. Whoever sends us the coolest, our favorite, the best wildlife photo. It's going to get a nice printout in the studio, which is going to look real nice. Yeah. So, Kyle, play the thing. I want to, I got a big, this huge. I need to talk about this. What's in the news? Yeah. I got a news from the underground. So something near and dear to my heart and Peter's heart has happened in the last couple weeks here. No. The Dilda factory went out of business.
Starting point is 00:02:30 Yo! Hey! It burned down. I told you you. You're not allowed to talk about that. pegging situation. That's upsetting for everyone. No. Peter and I were, we worked for many years on whale wars. Paul Watson, the ex founder of the sea shepherds.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Yep. Familiar. Anti-whaling activist. Pro-ocean activist. Considered a bit of a cowboy. Yeah. General loose gun. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:57 If you will. He was arrested. Get this. In Greenland, in Nook Greenland, where I've also spent a lot of time making. TV shows over
Starting point is 00:03:07 and faces possible extradition to Japan over the anti-wailing activities that we were filming actually in Antarctica years ago.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Why would they extradite him to Japan? Because Japan basically, you know, they were saying that the sea shepherds were interfering
Starting point is 00:03:25 and colliding with their ships and throwing stuff at them. So he was on some sort of list. No, so this was a long years ago. I mean,
Starting point is 00:03:33 literally, when we were filming whale wars, a red notice was put out. You know what a red notice is? I know it's a decent movie on Netflix. So it's basically one country puts out a red notice worldwide to every other country
Starting point is 00:03:48 and says this person committed a crime against my country or in my country. Oh, wow. Can you arrest them and extradite them? A worldwide warrant. That's pretty severe. Yeah, but this is old news. I mean, it had been out for a long time
Starting point is 00:04:01 and then his name was taken off of like the red notice list but what his camp is saying because he's currently sitting in jail in Greenland and he's like a big public figure it's not like he was hiding out right since Will Wars I think had spent some time hiding out
Starting point is 00:04:18 for a while on the sea right he stayed on his ships out there to not get caught he was doing all sorts of stuff to but he was on a new his name came off the list he had gotten on a ship in Dublin and they were going to
Starting point is 00:04:33 try and intercept a new Japanese whaling factory vessel. Brand new, like $48 million factory vessel, right? That's the one where the harpoon ships bring the whale process. And then it comes up this giant slipway. The conveyor belt thing and they chop it up. It's awful. If you've ever watched Whale Wars, it's right in the beginning thing. There's an overhead of that processing ship dragging a whale up.
Starting point is 00:04:57 It's pretty brutal. Because I was always Paul Watson's tactic was, if he can, block the path to the to the factory bone. Then they can't, the harpoon ships can't transfer their catch. Right. And so they have to kind of stop, you know, hunting whales while they attempt to get the sea shepherds away from the factory. That was always his primary tactic.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Hold on. I want to dig into the news, but I want to understand this better. I've actually never watched like the full. Of course you haven't. I don't know. He was too young. He was just a baby. I've never saw mysterious creatures.
Starting point is 00:05:32 He brings that up every follow. He hates it. No, so, okay. So the factory ship sits near to the harpooning ships, and they harpooning the whales and then take them over to the factory ship. They all know where they are. So what it used to be was there was several harpoon ships. Yeah. So they're still huge.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Yep. And they're very nimble. Okay. And fast. Okay. And so the harpoon ships, you know, they have the big harpoon on the front and they get the whale on the line. Yep. They don't ever pull it onto the ship.
Starting point is 00:06:04 I see. So they then go, they catch up to the factory ship wherever it is. They know where each other are and they're coordinating. And there's a transfer process where they get the whale up onto this conveyor belt, as you said, the slipway. That goes up onto the factory ship where they actually start breaking down the meat. Oh, interesting. And the material that's on the way. So there you see the Nishamaru.
Starting point is 00:06:28 So the Paul Watson and the Sea Shepherd crew, they would wait until a whale was harpooned and then cut them off? Their goal was just to find this factory ship as soon as they could and then just ride on its tail. And just keep people from, block the path to the slipway. Interesting. Okay, cool. Sorry, that answer is. That was always the goal. So apparently there was a new factory ship and they were going to try to intercept it. And I think they docked in no.
Starting point is 00:06:58 the capital of Greenland, and he was arrested there and taken to the jail. Wow, because of this red notice that he thought he was no longer on. But that's got to be a thing where, so Greenland does whaling, right? Yes. Japan does whaling. If Paul Watson pulled up to the Bahamas, I don't think they'd arrest him. They'd be like, yeah, we don't care. Like, we're actually like pretty pro what you stand for. He was in Dublin, right? The ship was in Dublin. Right. And they didn't arrest him there, right? Because those cultures or governments, whatever you want to to call it probably support at least what he stands for, not necessarily his efforts, but what he stands for versus Greenland, Japan, I'm not sure what other, what Iceland's still
Starting point is 00:07:37 a whaling nation, Norway still a whaling nation. They probably actually fucking hate him, right? Because he, that makes a big difference. So it's probably like, those are the access powers who enforce the red, the red card. But that's what I'm saying. They're choosing to enforce it versus other nations are probably choosing not to enforce it because they have a vested interest in. Absolutely. That's kind of interesting because you don't think of that, right? You think red notice means you're on a list. Wherever you go, you get arrested.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Right. But it's probably like a political game or some are choosing and some aren't. Well, Australia was always like the friendly country to the sea shepherds, right? That they would always typically launch from Australia. And there are no issues. Yeah, because Australia was like, we're kind of anti-whaling. Yeah. So what's going to happen to Paul Watson now?
Starting point is 00:08:21 I don't know. What's the outcome? I don't know. His lawyers released a statement pleading with the Dutch. to be involved because, you know, Greenland was a Dutch colony for a while and then became their own, you know, have their own government. So I don't know. If he gets extradited to Japan, I think he's going to be in big trouble. They're going to execute him. He's also 73 years old, you know. Yeah. But yeah, that's kind of the... Listen, dude, I, you know, as eccentric as he is and some of the controversy around him, I really do think the guy's a hero.
Starting point is 00:08:52 he was out there literally fighting a war like to save these animals and just didn't give a shit what anybody said like he disregarded the laws like I think it's great. Yeah and you know he's smart he made a TV show out of it
Starting point is 00:09:09 he got funding he made it he was able to manipulate the media to look like what it needs to look like to make him look like a hero whether it's true or not but at the end of the day I'm against whaling so I'm with him I hope he doesn't go to fucking jail in Britain in Japan.
Starting point is 00:09:26 It takes people like him, whether you agree or disagree with his methodologies, which I think a lot of people can argue that he didn't do it right. Yeah. But it takes people like him for us to be having these conversations. Exactly. Right. And that's what's important is people are talking about whaling.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Paul Watson's making the news. Right. And now we're realizing, oh, there's a lot of whaling going on in Greenland. Otherwise, we're not even talking about it. You know what I mean? I ate whale in Greenland. It was a, when I was there granted 12, 13 years ago, it was definitely a very prevalent source of protein.
Starting point is 00:10:00 I don't think they're doing a lot of it. I think they purchased the whale from Iceland and Norway. Okay. You see, if they eat it, it's yes, it's customary to eat there. Sure. If you need to sustain your culture because there's nothing else there, sure, there is also that side of it. And that's for sure legitimate. So I can see why those people would hate him from my high horse.
Starting point is 00:10:22 over here in the U.S., I feel like, you know, just Japan going out and killing whales in the middle of the open ocean isn't necessary. Well, the whole thing used to be that it was under the, that it was for scientific research, and that was a loophole that's right, that allowed them to kill whales in the southern ocean, that it was for research, but then, well, we should also harvest the meat because we've already had to kill the whale for the research, so let's harvest the meat. All right, you guys know I'm super into the mushroom thing. I go mushroom hunting, mushroom picking.
Starting point is 00:10:53 I think mushrooms are a superfood. Here's something you might not know. I've become a big afternoon cup of coffee guy. I have one in the morning and one in the afternoon. It helps you get through my day. Not any longer. No? Not any longer.
Starting point is 00:11:06 That's why I brought up mushrooms. Mudwater. Okay? It's this elixir. You know it, Peter. You got it right there. It's this elixir of magical mushrooms, not the silly kind,
Starting point is 00:11:15 that I drink in the afternoon instead of coffee. Yeah. No jitters. No crash. sustainable energy doesn't keep me up at night. That's the thing. If I was doing that two, three o'clock cup of coffee, no way I was hitting the pillow before 11. You still get that like focus for work though that you can? It's fantastic, dude. I can focus at work. I can focus of them out in the field. I feel energized. I feel good. Look, I'm getting goosebumps talking about it.
Starting point is 00:11:37 Wow. It fires me up man. It's such good stuff and I don't have any of the downsides of caffeine. And it tastes good. Well, for a limited time, our listeners, get up to 43% off your entire order, free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use our exclusive link head to mudwater.com slash wild and grab your starter kit that's up to 43% off your order at mud wtr.com forward slash wild after you purchase they ask you where you heard about them please support our show and tell them we sent you stay energized and refreshed all summer long with mud water because life's too short for anything less than natural delicious energy Hey, have you guys got or tried your true nutrition protein yet?
Starting point is 00:12:25 Yes, I have. It is. I used the blend that your nutritionist buddy suggested. Isn't that awesome? It's awesome. Dude, I'm feeling good because I'm taking it in the morning. It's like I wake up, I have my coffee, and then this is my breakfast. And yeah, so I don't know, because as you guys know, we got beetroot powder in there, sweet potato powder in there, beef collagen, all this weird stuff that you could select.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Yeah, the boosts. build it, the boosts. And, yeah, I don't know. I love it. It's doing me a lot better. And I'll tell you this, especially in my stomach than the traditional. Oh, dude. You're a way for a lot.
Starting point is 00:12:59 I've been taking, I've been taking one of the most, like, highly reviewed ones on Amazon. Let me tell you, that stuff clumps up hardcore. It's hard to drink. This stuff from true nutrition basically just dissolves right in. You drink it. I put it in my coffee, dude. It's great. It's really awesome.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Basically, like, so when I first went to the site, I was like, oh, this is. cool. You can design your own custom protein powders. They have 30 kinds of protein, eight carb powders that you can add in there for energy, three fat powders, and then the flavors are really fun. There's 34 flavors you can pick from. I got some cinnamon toast swirl, some marshmallow treat. Dude, I got chocolate peanut butter cup and, well, chocolate peanut butter cup. I got several others because these guys have totally changed the protein powder game from there. creatine monohydrate, which I take every day for muscles to their essential amino acids, you can have the peace of mind that all their products are the highest quality, which is
Starting point is 00:13:57 awesome. You feel good taking it. And because it's been so popular, they've also now released the ability to customize your own greens and your own oatmeal. So I'm going to start adding it now with the oatmeal supplements. I'm going to do oatmeal and the powder. Really excited to start my morning off that way. It seems like the perfect thing to do.
Starting point is 00:14:14 So big fan of the true nutrition. Hey, if you want to save some money, you want to try this. For a limited time, our listeners get 15% off your entire order when you use the code Wild at checkout. That is 15% off your order at true nutrition.com with promo code Wild. Take the guesswork out of nutrition with true nutrition. You said this place was steps from the water. We just haven't found the steps yet. How much did we save?
Starting point is 00:14:42 Enough. Enough to get lost. Or you could book a stay with Hilton. Welcome to your ocean front room. Just steps from the water. The Hilton sale is on now. Book on Hilton.com or the Hilton app and save up to 20% to get the stay you expected. When you want savings, not surprises. It matters where you stay. Hilton for the stay. So speaking of Wales, I've got another piece of news. This is interesting. And I have a lot of sort of politically charged ideologies around this because I'm pretty connected to it. So we've talked about the Vakeda before, correct?
Starting point is 00:15:18 Yeah. The world's smallest porpoise. The cutest porpoise in the world? Yeah. There is now the last study, I forget if it's nine or 13. I might be mixing up which came which. But the last survey done by Sea Shepherd's crew, I forget which boat, counted not 13. 13 was the last one.
Starting point is 00:15:35 The one before was nine. So they actually was like, oh, a little bit of hope. There's more Vakita coming back. And how are they counting them, not to hijack your story? They have this big motherboard ship that goes and sits in the northern Cortez off of San Felipe. and they have big spotting scopes and binoculars and drones, and they just try and get IDs. Just how many do we see in this period of time?
Starting point is 00:15:52 Yep, over three months. And then they run it through AI to make sure that they're not the same animals and blah, blah, blah. It's very well done. And I've looked a lot into it. I work with the Vakita Working Group when I say I work with them. I've donated a whole lot of products to them. I've got them all their binoculars. I got them uniforms from Pelagic, binoculars from Knox.
Starting point is 00:16:10 I bought a bunch of their tanks of gas just because I love what they're doing. Sure. And by the way, we can get into a whole big thing here. This is a group of volunteer people in San Felipe, which is a very poor town in Mexico that just go out and do this out of the goodness of their own heart. Like they just volunteer. They're literally high schoolers that go out and try and survey for these Vakita to try and protect them. It's an awesome little group of people.
Starting point is 00:16:32 That's why I support them. That's why I've gone to all these sponsors like Pelagic and Knox and collected up gear. But the piece of news that I wanted to talk about is the USMCA, which I don't know if you guys have heard of that, but it's the United States-Mexico-Canada agreement, which is like the three nations that, you know, obviously make up North America that all work together to protect species that coexist over those three regions. They have voted to investigate Mexico's failure to protect the Vakita. Now, this news comes only months after the proposal to shrink the Vakita protected habitat came out through the Mexican government. And only several weeks before that,
Starting point is 00:17:10 when the entire Mexican government's like Fish and Game Department, I'm forgetting the name of it, but Kyle could probably find it, got fired for being in the cartel's pocket. So it's the same as if we'll trickle down through these things here, and I can explain it better. But imagine if you just heard from the president, you know, imagine if you just, Joe Biden just came out and said, hey, by the way, we just fired all of the United States fishing game. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:34 That's what happened in Mexico. And the reason being, it was controlled by the cartel, like all of the heads of Mexico's fishing game, were being controlled by the cartel. And I'm making big sweeping generalization. So if you happen to be a Mexican guy that works there that isn't controlled by the cartel, congrats. But I'm pointing out that the majority of them were actually in cartel pockets.
Starting point is 00:17:52 And they were all being paid. And this got figured out through this big investigation. And they were all let off several weeks before that, or maybe it was after that, right around that time, after surveying and finding only 13 Vakita, the same group that had just been fired or was going to be fired proposed shrinking the Vakita protected habitat. because they're like, oh, there's only 13 of them left. Why do we need to protect such a large area?
Starting point is 00:18:13 So it's just like one bad decision after another. And now, if you ask me, this USMCA's Commission for Environmental Cooperation that's compiling this failure record that they've come out and stated is what's going on in Mexico, I mean, it's good that they're putting pressure to protect the Vakita Moore, but I think this is a real shitty approach. It's like they're prosecuting the wrong people. Like I know, and I'm not going to name the individuals, but I know the actual individuals that live in San Felipe,
Starting point is 00:18:40 that all they do is care about the Vakita and want to save this tiny little porpoise that some of them have literally never seen. I know the actual individuals. They're wonderful people. The people who are making these choices and are in charge of this live in fucking Canada and North America have never seen a Vakita,
Starting point is 00:18:55 or if they have, they've failed to save it. And I won't go into those details, but literally the person in charge of this actually killed one of them. In that Sea of Shadows thing, I don't know if you've seen it, but it's a very complex, that we can get into here. But I think this is a bad decision. I think it needs to be brought.
Starting point is 00:19:13 So go back to the headline quickly, Kyle. Scroll up. So the headline is Mexico under investigation for failing to protect Vakita. That is a negative, mean headline, right? That is the wrong approach to trying to save something that there's only 13 of left. There should be support. There should be all kinds of resources being pumped into saving the Vakita. They should be working with the Mexican government. They should be pushing everything to help the Vakita. And instead, they're now crucifying the only small group of people that are trying to work to save them by investigating them. Now, I don't know if that's exactly how it's going to go, because I doubt they're actually going to investigate the small group in San Felipe. They're probably going to investigate the Mexican
Starting point is 00:19:55 officials that have now been fired, you know, for being fired for being controlled by the cartel, because this all comes. The reason the Vakita is dying, the main reason is because they're being killed as bycatch during Tortuava poaching for the swim bladders that go to China of the Tortuava. So it's like this whole crazy web.
Starting point is 00:20:10 But I just don't like this. Like I don't agree with it. I think it's being brought about the wrong way. There are consequences for Mexico. They're threatening Mexico for what they're doing. The idea is right that we need to protect the Vakita. There need to be strict trade sanctions in place
Starting point is 00:20:28 to make sure that the poachians for tortuava is going away. They need to increase the tortua farming that's happening in Ensenada and La Paz. And they need to not be persecuting the small groups that are actually trying to save the vacuia. What's the deal with the swim bladder? Yeah. So Tortua are these giant fish that are also endangered and they have a big swim bladder like all fish. Like they have a big inflatable swim bladder. And the Tortua swim bladder is one of these Asian medicine things, Eastern medicine things that makes your penis bigger or
Starting point is 00:20:57 God knows what bullshit. I don't even know what it's used for. But But, you know, it's one of those things. Now, the problem is in order to get Tortuaba, which is a fish about the size of the Vakita, they put miles and miles of illegal gill nets down in the exact habitat the Vakita lives. And just like a tortuava, the Vakita goes swimming into the gill net and dies. Yeah. And so all of this persecution for the Vakita is happening for this bullshit Tortua trade. But what you're seeing right there is the farming of Tortuva, which is an awesome thing,
Starting point is 00:21:27 because it's exactly what they need to do. They should be farming. still sell tortua of swimbladders, just like you could sell rhino horn. And I know that's a very controversial statement, but you have to produce it. You can't just take it from the wild. If you farmed enough rhino, if you farmed enough tortuaba, you could flood the market and eliminate the need to take it from the wild, and these species could be fine. I'm not saying rhino farming is the best idea in the world. It's probably not, but Tortua'a farming is. That's just fish farming. We've been doing that for generations. And anyway, so how much does a Tortawaba swimbladder go
Starting point is 00:21:58 before. I was watching Kyle and I was hoping that he was going to I have no idea. 20,000 to $80,000 per kilogram, rivaling the price of gold and cocaine. There you go. And so what do they actually think it, I'm curious what the
Starting point is 00:22:14 Eastern medicine use is for the swim bladder. It says cosmetics and a delicacy in Asian culture. So just stupid human shit. And traditional medicines. Of course, it's an aphrodisiac. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Yeah. I mean, with the rhino, with the, you know, with the rhino horn, I know they had that one plan. I don't know if it's gone far, but it's a really good plan where they artificially produce it and flood the market with artificially produced rhino horn that can't be discerned from the regular rhino horn. And this is like equivalent to a solution like that where it saves the natural, you know, Vakita that are out there. and then you're able to actually provide this to the population that wants it. It is a brilliant tactic. Without messing up the, without messing up nature. You mean the farming of the fish is a brilliant tactic?
Starting point is 00:23:07 What do you say? Well, the farming, sure, that could work, but this idea of like producing a bunch of just flooding the market with a fake tortuble bladder. So it's like, oh, I can get this everywhere now. The problem is, in order to do that, the sale of these things has to become legal. And the sale is technically illegal, right? And so that's where it becomes very complicated. Whether you're talking about rhino horn or tortuava bladder, the sale is technically illegal. So in order to make, flood the market, you have to create the legal sale of these products, right?
Starting point is 00:23:42 So you have to create legal sale of tortua of swim bladder, which means changing laws, which is fine. I don't think that's a bad thing. But once you do that, then you can't discern between wild caught and, and, and, you can't discern. farm raised or whatever it happens to be. So the balance becomes very, very complicated. Sure. Interesting. Yeah, look at the picture of that bust in Arizona. The huge tortua bladder bust. It was a few up, Kyle, right there. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's millions of dollars. So the, wow, wow, that's crazy. The tortuaba are also endangered? Yes, they are. Okay. Now that, and that's a whole other thing that we could get into on this pot or not, but most people blame
Starting point is 00:24:22 overfishing for the decline of the tortuava, which is certainly a major factor. It's not the real reason. And we've been, it's so interesting because I got to have my magic right here. I got a lot of info coming out here. Let me guess. I think I know what the real reason is. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:37 That's happened, sir. What was that whale that washed up the other day that had the huge beak? Oh, yeah. The beaked whale, spade. I think it was called a spade tooth whale. Spade tooth whale. I think that there's spade tooth whales. Eating them all.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Eating all the tortoise. We got monster whale. I think that's what's happening. The real reason that the Tortuaba have diminished in numbers so badly is because of us, of course, and mostly because of Las Vegas. Oh, because we damned the Colorado River. So the north, Kyle, quickly pull up Google Earth, like Northern Sea of Cortez. The Sea of Cortez, the far north where the Colorado River used to dump into the Sea of Cortez,
Starting point is 00:25:14 used to be this gargantuan wetland. And if Kyle pulls it up on satellite here, you can kind of see it. So all of that, you can see all the green part there in the northern Gulf O's, zoom way in, Kyle. All that used to be this massive, massive wetland that used to have Tortua running up into the Colorado River as thick as salmon. Wow. So you know like the salmon runs that you see on TV. Yeah. You used to have these giant Tortua, they get over 100 pounds swimming up the Colorado River.
Starting point is 00:25:41 Well, we came along and dammed it all so that we could have some water in the desert and, you know, made the Hoover Dam and feed Las Vegas and all of that. And that has now dried up to a mere trickle that is coming down into the Cortez. So it's changed the salinity of that environment, which has rapidly diminished the population of Tortova and Vakita and many, many other species because that was a whole nursery up there. Let's not crucify just Las Vegas. California is part of the problem, too. We take all that water from the river even more so than they do. And I just don't want to get shit on by the people who. Wait, the Colorado River?
Starting point is 00:26:16 Yeah. Do we? Yeah. We do. L.A. gets fed by the Colorado. Actually, Las Vegas really makes an... They use the least amount and recycle the most water out of all the states that... Well, it's because every hotel and house has a fountain that's at least four billion gallons.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Yeah. Yeah. But that's... It's not my point is not to be used by Las Vegas, which I don't care if I do. It's just that we have actually created the problems much more. Right. And instead of like fixing the problem, it's a nice easy shift of blame to be like, oh, you know, there's no Tortua left because of these Chinese fishermen and blah, blah, blah, which is...
Starting point is 00:26:49 true, don't get me wrong. It's not the Chinese, it's Mexican fishermen selling to the Chinese, but that is true. But the real reason is we came along and fucked up the environment by damming it all up. That's the real reason that all this problem is happening. And then at the end of the the day, the original dolphins that are there only 13 of. So that's the official number that they think are left. The official number is 13. Yeah, so it was 10 to they said 10 to 13 last year, six to eight in the most recent. Yeah. So I mean, the bottom line is they need to be protecting these six to eight. It's going to go extinct. They are. I mean, six to eight.
Starting point is 00:27:22 That is extinct. That's functionally extinct. And something very drastic has to be done in order to save them. Does it make sense? Would it make sense for them to actually like try and put a male and female in captivity and breed them? They did. That's what the Sea of Shadow's documentary is. And I recommend everybody listening to this go and watch it because it's a heartbreaking documentary. Did you guys just feel, did you guys feel a little like what felt like a little earthquake a minute ago? I thought that was your leg. I'd be feeling. that for the past week.
Starting point is 00:27:49 What? Are you high? I don't, maybe. Well, there was an earthquake yesterday, but so I was feeling a little shaking. I'm like, it's probably just me. Yeah. I haven't eaten. But look at what happened to my fat tire here.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Did you? You didn't do anything? No. So it, I hadn't taken a sip yet and it. Kyle, immediate Google was there just an earthquake in Los Angeles right now, right? Bubbles came up and formed a foam. So I think we did just go through a minor earthquake here. A minor quack, 2.7.
Starting point is 00:28:18 On the Richter scale, that's what it says. At 12.10 a.m. No, wait, a.m. That's not now. Yeah, that was not just now. Ah, she is. All right. Look, summer is here. It's hot out, but we're all doing outdoor activities. I'm taking the family camping. We're going to the beach. I'm going for a hike tomorrow. That's nice. It's great. But you don't want to smell like a sock, do you?
Starting point is 00:28:39 Do you? Pat? I don't want to. You don't want to. Thankfully, there's Mando. It's a product that we all like. We've all become accustomed to it. I use it on every shoot these days. And it's full body deodorant. It's created by a doctor. It doesn't have any of those harmful chemicals.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Clinically proven to control odor for up to 72 hours, which if you're like us and you go outside and don't shower much, is pretty helpful. Yeah. It legit works for 72 hours, too. I use it every three days. You do smell great. Thank you.
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Starting point is 00:31:07 or visitpriceline.com. Actual prices may vary, limited time offer. So, no earthquake, correct? Is that the analysis over there, Kyle? I mean, Kyle said it's been going on for a week straight. That's what it feels like. I think it's just the gravity of your legs shaking so much. I'm barely doing it.
Starting point is 00:31:24 No, I know. I'm barely doing it. Maybe it was one of these polar bear grisly bear mixes that I saw on the news race. A grower bear, if you will. Ah, you only saw that in the title. No, I knew that one of these things? Yes, yes. Dude, a polar bear grizzly bear.
Starting point is 00:31:40 These are the two, the two biggest baddest bear. bears out there, right? There's only one family of them that are confirmed, and it's this group in Canada where the ice has receded enough that the brown bears have moved further north or the polar bears have moved further south.
Starting point is 00:31:58 I forget exactly how it works, and they've crossed bread. And now there's Groller bears. Grover bears? I mean, you got to... It just looks like a polar bear that's a little dirtier. It does just look like a dirty polar bear. It's interesting, though, like, the body shape's a little different, right? Yeah. Well, it's like a liger. Have you ever seen a liger? You look at a
Starting point is 00:32:14 lion, wow, magnificent, athlete. You look at a tiger, you're like, incredible, muscular. You look at a liger and you're like, oh, it's a meat sausage. It's a problem. Yeah, like, look at it. Look at that fat thing. Wow, yeah. It looks like it wouldn't be able to survive in the wild.
Starting point is 00:32:27 Well, there's something that happens when these animals hybridize, especially in apex predators. We see it a lot with cats and bears and things. When they hybridize that the, like, growth hormone gets out of whack and they keep growing. But their bones and things can only support so much, like, expansion. and they just become fatter and fatter. I don't know how to explain it.
Starting point is 00:32:47 I know I'm not doing a good job. But you see this in a lot of these animals where it's like, okay, yes, they're 400 pounds larger than the largest living tiger, but it's not like that much bigger. It's just that much rounder. I don't know how else to put it. And you see it in these animals.
Starting point is 00:33:02 And it's, Kyle, you were with me. Remember that Liger we saw in Florida? Their heads look tiny. It was disgusting. It's just like a meat sack. Just like you said, yeah. Yeah, the Ligers that were featured in Tiger King, you just kind of feel bad for them.
Starting point is 00:33:14 They just look like they shouldn't exist. They look like they're out of breath constantly. It's like, you know, I feel like the article's talking about how this is a big problem. These hybrid animals are, if it continues and starts to increase, it's going to be a big problem. But it's like, really? Is it that big of an issue? Because they turn fat and then they can't live in their natural environment. Well, no, it's not that.
Starting point is 00:33:37 The issue is it's like it's like reverse or it's really not reverse, but it's speciation occurring. So we have created a situation in which animals are hybridizing. So by changing the environment, by ice receding, global warming, whatever, animals are now crossing paths that traditionally wouldn't be crossing paths. Right. And animals in order to adapt, and they don't even know they're doing this as a subconscious, are hybridizing so that they can adapt. So they're humping. Polar bears can't live if there's no ice. Brown bears can't live if it's too cold.
Starting point is 00:34:09 What do you get when you mix the two? Something that can live in that. In either? In either in that changing habitat, right? But it's really fat. So you're saying that a polar bear and an Alaskan brown bear should never be in the same space? No, I'm not saying that because it's happening. But we've created the situation.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Okay, without global warming or whatever, you're saying it would have never happened? No, it probably would. It probably would and has happened. But in rarity and in frequency enough that they're not hybridizing. Now they're being put into the same environment. so much that over generational time they've gone, hey, you look pretty good. Let me throw a counter at you. Sure. Because they're saying that these Groler bears originated with a single female in 1989. What a slut. Wow. This is where I'm going. Okay. Who who made it with two
Starting point is 00:35:01 grizzly bears. Told you. Producing four offspring. Told you. Okay. Is it not like those grizzly bears didn't just go over there and demand that she made? So I'm just saying maybe she was just maybe a little more open to an experiment. Sexually liberal. That's all I'm saying. It's like if a chimpanzee escaped the zoo in Santa Barbara and, you know, came across your wife. Easy. Who's the one demanding here?
Starting point is 00:35:31 Well, I'm saying that the chimpanzee is a demandor. It's not like she would be into it. So Jessica's the demandee. She's a demandee. Good Lord. Good Lord. I think I got a little mixed up. with my analogy, but you get where I'm going.
Starting point is 00:35:44 You definitely did. Can I just throw this at you for us? Yes, please. Would you be intrigued enough by the possibility of a human chimp hybrid but it's at the expense that your wife is the mom of the hybrid? No, I don't want any part of that. What about you? And then I'll go.
Starting point is 00:36:05 No for me. Yeah, it's a no for me. Wait, if your wife had a human chimp hybrid, would it Would it be your brother or your stepson? No, it's your son. It's your stepson. It's your stepson. It's your stepson. You have to adopt it. Yeah. And then you have to deal with drop-offs and school drop-off. Oh, my God. Talking to the dad, the dad chimp. You know, you got the weird kid. Yeah. And you know the dad chimp has a better job than you. So that's embarrassing. Would you adopt it? Would you adopt it? I'm a good person. But I'd resentfully adopt it. I never love it as much as my own kids, just like anybody with a stepchild. You'd have to really reevaluate your. your design choices in the house. Wait, do you guys know that this is a real
Starting point is 00:36:48 conspiracy theory thing? Peter, you must. I don't know. What is it? Kyle, pull up the human chimp hybrid of the 70s, I believe it is. Oh, no, I have seen this headline on Reddit. I only read the headline because I was like, it's obviously nonsense. The Russian scientist who tried to create a human chimp hybrid in the worst possible way. What's the word? Okay, I am intrigued
Starting point is 00:37:10 because what is the worst possible? I think it rhymes with grape, Peter. Oh. And hey. All right. Okay. So hang on, though. Am I looking at the real?
Starting point is 00:37:22 Is Oliver a human chimp hybrid? I don't know. Can we, Kyle, can you go to something that isn't Google Images here? Humanzi. That's it. Human Z. That's it. That's genius.
Starting point is 00:37:33 Almost as good as that, uh, the Koi Pond business you wanted to start. You were talking about. It is. Oh, yeah. Humansi. Hang on. Hang on. Kyle.
Starting point is 00:37:41 You're a little fast. on the scroll there, pal. By the way, while we wait and you guys do a little bit of the reading. No, I was just going to say, I was just saying, if anybody knows about this, please comment in the comments. No one knows about this. I'm a deep dive. Serious attempts to create a human chimp hybrid were made by Soviet biologist Ilya Ivanovich Ivanov in the 1920s and possibly by researchers in China in the 60s, so neither succeeded. But, okay, fine. But Kyle, go to the 1960s one. Like do another, do an open a new tab, do a new Google search.
Starting point is 00:38:17 1960s Humansi hybrid success. So, because there's a whole conspiracy theory that I saw on TikTok, which is very reliable. Right. That, uh, that they actually succeeded. Yeah. And that's Bigfoot. Uh, I don't know about that. Variations of Bigfoot. That would make sense. But I saw this little, this little conspiracy nut thing floating around about how. Here's what I picture the one in the 60s happened. It was, like, some scientist took some acid because acid was newish back then.
Starting point is 00:38:46 Oh, it was hot. Was literally like, what if we do this? This is the answer. Well, 99.6% shared DNA, right? Isn't it 99.6? Something that seems impossibly high. Right. I guess what I'm saying, though, I want to know what the motivation behind it.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Was it just to do it? Was it because the guy was on acid or has it has some benefit to man? Well, what about the fact that we undeniably could create this today and nobody's had the balls to? With CRISPR technology and whatnot, we absolutely can do this. I don't think it's the balls. I think it's the, it's the, uh, ethical balls. Yeah, responsibility.
Starting point is 00:39:19 It's being responsible by not doing it. Yeah, but you have people playing around with CRISPR in their garage. Yeah. Is that true? It's gotten that. Oh, yeah. The technology. There was a cool documentary on that.
Starting point is 00:39:29 I forget what it was called. Did you see that where the guy in his garage was making glow in the dark bunnies and stuff? Yeah, like glow in the dark dog. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, see, you know, there's definitely a lot of controversy about this. in the alien space and the tech that they're supposedly covering up space, there's a lot of controversy into the reasoning why the government or whoever is capturing the alien spacecraft that have fallen is not releasing or using the technology. And the biggest argument is that you don't want it to get into the commoners hands because they're going to be using in their garage to create glow in the dark bunnies. Well, I mean, look, do we want a human?
Starting point is 00:40:10 hybrid with a chimp. Do we need it? As super soldiers for a Marvel movie, of course. Sure. Do we need it? We don't need it. We don't want it. We don't want it. Nothing good comes of it. It's bad. I don't think we need it. I'm no expert. Wait, can we move on from this? Did you have another thought? No, that was it. Okay. Peter, that's quite kind of you. I saw another TikTok conspiracy video while we're on this. Do tell. Well, no, you do tell because it's about the recent definite alien found NASCAR lines. The Peru. The Peru aliens? Yeah. What's the deal? Okay. I mean, so
Starting point is 00:40:44 this is, this is an ongoing thing. There was a guy named Jamie Mousan, I believe. He created this big hoax and was proven as a hoax. This was several years ago, maybe a decade, maybe 15 years ago. Okay. But so recently this guy, he
Starting point is 00:40:59 found, he brought out a bunch of alien mummies and showed them on video and like announced them and people thought it was legit. Did we talk about that on the pub? Was that the one with a weird head? Yes. We did it talk about it in your living room.
Starting point is 00:41:12 So, so. I remember that. So that was the one of the most recent ones that came out by the same guy who had already been exposed as a hoaxer. Yeah. But the Mexican government is taking this seriously now. Mexican or Peru? The Mexican government.
Starting point is 00:41:26 He smuggled the bodies. Oh, he's Mexican. The biologist or whatever is Mexican. Okay. And so he brought it on to a big stage and put it in front of the Mexican Congress, these bodies. And again, is claiming that. that there has been more of these bodies found.
Starting point is 00:41:41 And so now what you're seeing right now is the third time, the most recent version of these. These are supposedly another set of these alien mummies that have been found at the NASCAR lines in Peru, which has a lot of significance to aliens and because of the way it's like geographically, these lines go or whatever. So if you're just watching this at home,
Starting point is 00:42:02 just so you know, what we're looking at is what looks like the shriveled up sort of bodies of these lines, long-toed, long-fingered, incredibly skinny. To be honest, to me, it just looks like plaster of Paris. Well, so the interesting part about that is that they, supposedly these have been preserved using, it's called like, I can't pronounce it because I'm a moron, but it's like diametric earth or something. It's a powder. Oh, diatomaceous.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Yes, you put it on the body and it soaks out all the moisture. And so they're claiming that's why these bodies look like this. Do you know what diatomaceous earth is? No. They used it in my pool and it went down into the sewer and the guy came by and tried to find me $3,000. So it's some kind of filtering. It's a bunch of dead diatoms. You know what a diatom is?
Starting point is 00:42:49 Oh, no. A little tiny living organism from the ocean. Oh, really? Yeah. Deiatomaceous Earth is just dead diatoms. But so the interesting thing about this is that they have actual scientists looking at these bodies and the ones that were uncovered last year, two years ago. and a lot of the scientists, there's a lot of misinformation,
Starting point is 00:43:09 so it's hard to know what's really going on. But there's a lot of proof that these are actual, this DNA is from like 6,000 years ago. Some of the scientists, they've done x-rays, CT scans on this. They've really investigated these things. And they're saying that it's potential that they are an unknown species that shares a lot of DNA with humans. And then there are other people coming out in the news.
Starting point is 00:43:33 There's the original one, by the way, the one that came out in last year. As a fake. No, not a fake. Not a hoax yet. That's the unproven one. Right, the unproven one. But wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Let me interrupt you just for one second. Sure. This alleged archaeologist, I said biologist before I'm an archaeologist, this alleged Mexican archaeologist, he's been publicly denounced as a faker. So, like he intentionally created a host. He is a UFO researcher. Okay. Right. So he's nothing, but he is nothing.
Starting point is 00:44:06 You sir are nothing. And correct, he has been exposed as a hoaxer. So, but the. Then why is anyone taking this seriously? Well, because he brought it out in front of the Mexican government and gave actual scientists access to this, the last batch, and now these ones are being studied. And actual research is being done on them. And so, you know, like I said, there's a side that says that these are real. the tissue and a lot of the components
Starting point is 00:44:32 are from many, many thousands of years ago, but there's also a side that says that these are like a llama skull mixed with like human fingers and somebody actually constructed this thing. Sure. So they're having trouble actually figuring out
Starting point is 00:44:48 if it's real or not because whatever it was was constructed many thousands of years ago. They just don't know if it's like animal parts and human parks mixed together. And they did do a lot of that in Peru thousands of years ago. There was like sacrifices of humans, animals, mummifying things. So probably it's interesting. Probably deformations and things like that that they preserve too,
Starting point is 00:45:11 right? Absolutely. Back in those days, if you had a deformed child or whatever, it was symbolic and you could sacrifice it or it would die and you wrap it up. And, you know, it wasn't, it was like a sign from the gods. It wasn't just, oh, there's something wrong with this kid. Like, it was a whole different thing. But it is interesting. You saw this on TikTok with a, you know, crazy ass headline. And it's like unbelievable, but there is actual science going into this right now. So it's just, it's not confirmed, it's not unconfirmed, and I think it's very interesting.
Starting point is 00:45:39 I got to tell you, I was like pretty groggy when we started this, and I sip this thing, and I'm like so acutely aware of everything Peter is saying. Yeah, I'm saving. I swear to God, I'm taking every piece of this in. Well, it's because I also drank it, and my speaking is much clearer. It makes a difference, dude. It's weird stuff. Yeah, it's really counterbalancing the booze that you're slugging.
Starting point is 00:45:57 This isn't booze. This is straight up water and vodka. wait can I ask you guys a question yeah are crop circles still a thing yeah remember when we are kids I feel like crop circles were like all the people talked about that was the big one yeah yeah and I don't think I've heard of a crop circle do Kyle do you know what a crop circle is I do yeah okay I think I think what happened was crop circles were really cool for a minute yeah yeah yeah and people were like what is this shit this got to be aliens and then videos came out of people making crop circles with the you know two by four strep to their feet yeah yep yep
Starting point is 00:46:28 And then it was just like, oh, we got to find something else. They figured out how it's done without any like footsteps or anything going away. Right. And like now the technology like, I don't know, you have a drone drop of freaking gate on it or something. Drones could cut your corn the way you want it now. Yeah, exactly. Interesting. Do you think they're still happening?
Starting point is 00:46:47 Do you think crop circles are still taking place? I'm sure once a year someone in, you know, Pennsylvania or Virginia just does a fucking crop circle because they're bored? No, I mean, are there still mysterious ones? Or are we saying that we disprove? proven all crop circles. It was always just a guy with paddle feet and an APB. I don't think so. I think people are just less interested because there is a plausible explanation for it. Isn't it funny that the second something like that starts taking place, there's a hundred
Starting point is 00:47:11 thousand people that jump at the opportunity to create a hoax around it? Yeah, totally. It's like just stop it. We're the worst. Humans are the worst. Just stop it. Let's see what this actually is. Yeah, but I mean, there's, you know, pulling a prank is fun. It is. It's so much fun to prank, your wife, your friend, get him to scream. See, there you go. This is the mindset. It's like, what if I just prank the entire town? Well, like, the guy who strapped dinosaur feet to his feet and walked around. Genius. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:37 Sarasota Beach or whatever it was for 20 years. That's my favorite human being. I love that guy. I was just thinking about it. Here's the thing, too. Only males do this. Women never do this shit. Oh, God, no.
Starting point is 00:47:49 Could you imagine? They never do this shit. And you know that that guy came home at 2 a.m. At least once a week with his fucking, with his dinosaur feet on it. His wife was like, He's like getting into bed and giggling. He was so happy with himself. Turn the other way.
Starting point is 00:48:03 Like, like, he slides into bed. 4.30 in the morning, he slides in. Wakes her up and she's like, why are you still doing this? He's like, this is fun. Yeah. Dude, what do you mean? I'm having fun. Since we're on like, it's not a crime what I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:48:17 No, no. Since we're on like aliens a little bit, let me just go into something. It'll be quick, but it won't. So there's this, there's this guy, Lou Elizando, who's kind of been heading up the disclosure process of this kind of like UFO technology and that these things that are unexplained actually exist
Starting point is 00:48:35 and they are covering up this technology not saying that he knows what it is that we know what it is but he wrote a book recently and all the time he keeps coming out like he's like it's somber like over the years like the couple years he's like it's going to make you sad
Starting point is 00:48:51 whatever the answer is he's like it's sad so in his book that has come out he starts talking about why now finally, like it is somber news. And I was like, I was so excited to like find out. And basically he says that whatever is out there and via all the evidence he's seen because he had, you know, access to classified programs and all this. He said basically by all appearances, what they're doing, the people with this technology
Starting point is 00:49:24 are doing like reconnaissance. and they are trying to like map out our culture, our technology, how we behave what we do, our nuclear missile silos, like everything so that they can report it back to the mothership or whatever. He didn't say that, but to like whoever is controlling them. I mean, they may even be drones, he said, and that they're eventually going to come here
Starting point is 00:49:48 and basically just make us not the alpha species anymore. It sounds pretty far. It doesn't it. It's pretty sad, isn't it? It's sad. on that bad. If you weren't the alpha species, don't you think you'd be sad?
Starting point is 00:50:01 No, no. It depends. Do I still get to live my life pretty much the way that I love it? Kind of, but you always, you know, you always know that if you, if there's someone above that could say, like, I don't want you to do that
Starting point is 00:50:13 and immediately just stop you from doing whatever you want to do. We have that. It's called Uncle Sam and he doesn't let me do any of the things I want to do. All right. I thought it was interesting. I don't find it to be somber. It's just like, okay. It's also just entirely
Starting point is 00:50:25 opinion and nonsense. Of course, his conjecture. But he does have a lot of cred. I mean, he was in these classified programs, though. But how do you get that cred? He literally ran, like, the head of the aerospace threat and dynamics, blah, blah, blah thing. He was the head of it. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Peters talked about that guy before. Yeah, yeah. Did you read his book? It's not out yet. It's just pre-order. Got it. I will pirate it once it's out. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:50:48 I'll pay the $13. I like that. Do you guys want to play a game? Yeah. I love games. Kyle. I think I know what time it is. I have an idea.
Starting point is 00:50:57 What time is it? What? What? We're going down, pal. I have an idea. We're not set up to play the full Wild Times Battle Royale game. We do have it here, by the way. But here's my idea.
Starting point is 00:51:14 I'm going to, at random, pull a situation card. I can see them over here. Okay. And we'll just do one of them. One of the 120 that's in the deck? Yep. And we'll just do the situation. I'm not going to dish out all the cards.
Starting point is 00:51:28 We'll just do it out of our mind so that people don't have to play a card game. do a battle royale here. Ready for it? Okay, battle royale. Here we go. You've entered the Iditarod and will be racing 900 miles through freezing cold. Pick three animals to pull your sled. You must play one head,
Starting point is 00:51:45 one body, and one movement card to build your team. Okay. Okay, so each animal will have a head, body, and then I'll have a team of them. Correct. Okay. Okay. That's a good one. Pulling my sled, 900 miles. We made good cards. We're clever. It only took a year to come up with them.
Starting point is 00:52:01 Peter, why don't you go first? All right, I'll give this a go. We're doing a snook draft. Yes. A snook is also an animal. Don't roll your eyes even underneath your eyelids, pet. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:52:15 So I'm going to go first. I got to grab myself the body. Gosh. Oh, boy. This is tough. I mean, it's a race. I don't want a polar bear, and I'm not going to take one. But I'm going to go with a reindeer body.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Okay. Yeah. That's good. They're real, right? not just for Santa. They're very old. Also known as a caribou. Large.
Starting point is 00:52:35 A caribou. It's a large animal. Adapted for cold. That's the body. How many do you get in the Iditarod? Do we know? I don't know. If Kyle wasn't so lazy, he could answer that for us.
Starting point is 00:52:46 All right. So I'm going to have a team. I'm going to assume it's around. I'm going to say 10. Okay. We'll find out here. All right. I was just stalling, really, is what I was doing.
Starting point is 00:52:54 See if Kyle will get us how many. Yeah. It's good. It's good. Okay. So he started with a reindeer body for unknown 16 of them
Starting point is 00:53:03 between 12 and 16 reindeer bodies or caribou you're listening okay I'm gonna go I'm gonna go something a little a little off the cuff here
Starting point is 00:53:12 okay we're going over snow yeah right we are so I'm gonna go with my my legs uh oh my legs I think you're picking a similar thing
Starting point is 00:53:23 to where I was going this is movement right yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna take the legs of a bobcat huge feet that create nice pads so that they don't stick into the snow. Sure.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Sure. Okay. Incredibly agile. Right. Agile. Fast animals. Right. I want the legs and the big pad-like feet of a bobcat.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Big pads. Did you notice how somewhere along you talking about bobcats, Peter turned into a late-night rodeo post? I'm just listening. No, but you were like, yeah, big pads. That's nice. Look at that bobcat going through the snow, Kyle. Tell me that's not the legs you want.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Those are some nice legs. Those are foxy. Best pick. That's interesting. I was going. in a similar direction, but within a very different animal. Duck. I was going to go duck.
Starting point is 00:54:05 I was thinking of duck feet. I was between. What? Duck feet. It was between the two. To run on top of the snow. All right, go ahead.
Starting point is 00:54:13 Well, I'm not going to pick it now because we've already, but I swear to God, I was thinking of duck. Okay, fuck it. Duck feet. Wow. I'm going to go duck feet.
Starting point is 00:54:20 I've got a whole strategy here. So I'm going to go duck feet. Okay. Now, in order to do that, I have to put it on the body of something that can work. It's going to scale up. Yeah. But it's got to work with two feet.
Starting point is 00:54:31 Sure. So I now have to pick the body of an ostrich because it's pulling a sled. This is bananas, but it's kind of interesting. Dude, think about it. Giant, giant flat feet to go on top of the snow. So there's no plowing through the snow. Yeah. Same thing as Patrick's.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Sure. But I'm on the lightweight, gigantic body of an ostrich. Okay. All right. And you got 12 to 16 of these. I do. I sure do. At this point, the head has nothing to do with this.
Starting point is 00:54:56 I was trying to think, like, can I pick a head that will do anything? Well, they got to work together. Keep that in mind. Maybe some aerodynamics on the head would be okay. Maybe. Yeah, yeah, yep, yep. Okay. So I've got my bobcat feet running atop the snow.
Starting point is 00:55:15 I'm going to stick it. Look, the bigger the faster. Yeah. But I don't want to go too big, because I don't want to lose because I went too big and someone makes fun of me for it. I'm going to go with the body. You know what, basically?
Starting point is 00:55:28 I just want a tiger. body with bobcat legs. Okay. So just a giant bobcat. Yeah. All right. But I want the stripes so that the flies don't land on them. Go Siberian, Kyle.
Starting point is 00:55:39 Go Siberian tiger. Obviously Siberian. Are you insane, Kyle? I really think that the special ability is going to be the winner of this game. Well, we're not doing special ability. I thought we were. Head body legs. Head body legs.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Oh, fuck, man. I've really been off kilter in my head. I've been playing things over here. This is a nightmare. All right. Okay. Go ahead. Oh, it's me for two?
Starting point is 00:56:01 Oh, my God. All right. So I'm going to go. It's just shut up. I got to think. I'm not good at this. I don't know animals. I'm trying to think while playing this complicated game.
Starting point is 00:56:09 So complicated. I know. All right. So I'm going to go. So complicated that your three-year-old knows it and plays it. But yeah, well, these two. You don't know me, obviously. All right.
Starting point is 00:56:18 So here we go. I'm going to go with the legs of, I guess I got to pick a specific one. I'll just go with the legs of a tarantula. That's right. Oh, wow. They're very fast. If one gets comfortable. off. I mean, so you're talking, how many
Starting point is 00:56:31 are on the Iditarod? A 12 to 16. 12 to 16 times 8. I can't do that math, but Pac-can. Have you ever seen a tarantula skitter across deep soft snow? I haven't, but I'll tell you this. I'm going to go on Peter's team here, because I know you're about to knock him down.
Starting point is 00:56:47 No, I was, I wasn't, because I was like, they might be great. Well, that's the thing. I think they would be. With that many legs? That many legs. It's not like the opposite. My animal's so heavy with two legs. You're not going to sink. He's not going to The big feet. By the way, so you're moving, you're able to move. Oh, he's sunken.
Starting point is 00:57:04 He's sunk into the snow. He's sunk into the snow. Listen to me. Listen to me. Stop right now, everybody. I'm leaving. No. That's not a freaking tarantula.
Starting point is 00:57:13 That's like a wolf spider. Come on. Get out of here. What I will say is think about those nice furry legs. There's eight of them. You can move, you can move five to six legs at once while the other two are stabilizing. And you skitter. You skitter quick.
Starting point is 00:57:28 It's kind of brilliant. Wait, what was your first pick? As a body of a reindeer or a On tarantula. It's kind of brilliant. I kind of love it to be honest. Did you say arugula or caribou? Caribou.
Starting point is 00:57:39 One's a leafy green. Did you say arugula? So for the head, I guess it scales up to the body. So I think just you know, it doesn't really matter for the head, but I would love to see just a really big insect head.
Starting point is 00:57:53 So I'm going to give it the head of a tick. Oh, wow. That's grotesque. Just for fun. Just for fun. Okay. It doesn't mean. The head. I mean, the head I loved your pick. I thought you were going to come up with something
Starting point is 00:58:03 pretty cool for the head. I was going to say like a hoss eagle or whatever the diving eagle was head because it's aerodynamic. But it doesn't fucking matter. It's true. It doesn't really. So really, you're just like it's a 900 mile race. I'm going to be bored. I want to look at these tickets. That's right. And if one of them gets the desire to suck the blood of one of your animals, it's fine. Okay. All right. There we go. Okay. Interesting. So here's where I'm going to win it. Here's where I'm going to win this. Allegedly. All right. Um, So I've got my tiger-sized bobcat, essentially,
Starting point is 00:58:33 but with stripes, with stripes. I'm going to take the head. I'm going extreme aerodynamics here. Okay. I want the head of a kiwi bird. Wow. Okay. Well, tell me I need to understand.
Starting point is 00:58:49 I don't even know what this is. I just want a needle point sharp throwback to episode one face. One throwback. That's crazy. And it's just going to slice through those. wins. I like it. It's so random. Look at it. It's just like it's just a pointed beak with a little fuzzy head. All right. Here's the thing. I imagine an Iditarod to be quite a lonely event. Yeah. You're covering 900 miles in the snow with these critters pulling your sled. So I'm going to
Starting point is 00:59:17 give my ostrich-sized duck-footed creature on the ostrich's neck. I'm going to give 16 heads of 16 humanzies to keep me company. What? Okay. I see what you're doing. I think that's an animal, right? All right. Is it in the deck? I don't know if a Humanzi head is in the deck. I don't know if a Kiwi head's in the deck. That's not the point here. I'll tell you, a tick head is in the deck. I now have a team of critters to sort of socialize what their Humanzi. It's fair. Oh, wow. I didn't realize the head was that ugly. By the way, it's ugly, lopsided, and weird. It's like the exact opposite of aerodynamic. It is. This is true. You picked a horrible head. No, I kind of like, I feel like over the 900 miles, I will befriend and be able to communicate with it.
Starting point is 00:59:59 It's like putting your own head on it. Just all big, lopsided, ugly, and weird. Thanks. Have you guys ever ridden on a dog sled? No, never. Have you? No, I've never done it. But I'd love to.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Talk to people have done it. And I guess the low-key thing that you don't know about is that you're just covered in feces. Yikes. They just shit while they're running? Yeah. It's got to make sense. I mean, so you're basically just kicking at the air and like you're just covered in dog shit, I've heard. So I'll be covered in cariboo shit.
Starting point is 01:00:26 You'll be covered in leopard shit. And you'll be covered. Wait, was leopard your body? Tiger. Tiger shit. I'm covered in ostrich. Oh, that's the worst maybe, bro. Maybe.
Starting point is 01:00:35 Just bird shit. It's a lot of butts. Spray and everywhere. That's funny. I did never consider that, but it makes sense that they're just running poop. Let's see here. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:43 That takes a lot of, uh... Oh, no. That's terrible. That's not so bad. He did a little squat run. I thought he would just not do the whole thing where he like locks and loads. I could just shit as he's running. I got a vision like a hippo spray coming out of the back or something.
Starting point is 01:00:58 So I wonder if the way it works is it's like the dogs in front are pooping and then the dogs in the back are stepping in it and kicking it at you. Or maybe whoever told me this was just a fucking liar. It sounds like one of those things you say just to make conversation. Oh, you don't realize you're covered in shit. Yeah, it really does. It's like a good talking point to just say just because. You never been dog sledding me neither, but I heard. You guys full of shit.
Starting point is 01:01:24 These dogs are all pooping pretty decently. Look at that. He's like ice skate pooping. That's terrible. that's awful. But yeah, I mean, you're not going to stop. You want every minor advantage that you can get, you know? Hey, if you like this, let us know who won this battle royale. I think it's obvious. It's the only team that can communicate with you with the humanity. And real quick, don't forget to send in your photos. On the bonus pods, we review a lot of the photos. We break them down, say what we like about them, what we don't like about them. No, we'll tell you if your photos sucks. I will. I'll say it. I don't care.
Starting point is 01:01:57 But we are going to pick a winner and put that in the studio here. Your last chance to submit for the photo contest is August 16th. So don't miss it. Here's a quick question. When does this come out, Kyle? 17th. That's my birthday. Oops.
Starting point is 01:02:13 It's my birthday. He put it in there. I'm like Ron Burgundy. I just read the teleprompter. Fine. Just leave it in. Who cares? It's ending soon.
Starting point is 01:02:21 It ended yesterday. They get an extra day now. It doesn't matter. Do the thing, Peter. Do the thing. Go to wild times. Club forward slash info. Get all of the episodes. We put out all these episodes public and we also put out four per month on Apple subscription,
Starting point is 01:02:38 Spotify subscription and get it all ad free subscription. Go get it. Add free and, uh, you know, enjoy wild times.com forward slash what the fuck wild times.com forward slash info. Good night. No problem. For you order your battle royale game. They're coming out. They're coming out. It's probably going to be order, not pre-order anymore. Just buy it. You are bad with dates. Whatever. Dude, he put it on the thing. That's not Kyle.
Starting point is 01:03:04 His whiteboard didn't save him. Feels like every product claims real protein these days. But real doesn't start on a label. It starts at the source. Like real California milk from California farm families, it's real dairy delivering high quality, complete protein. With all nine essential amino acids to help build muscle Give you energy and keep you satisfied longer.
Starting point is 01:03:31 So keep it real. Look for the seal. Real California milk. There. Idiot.

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