Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Ancient Bipedal Crocodiles, Giant Squids Fighting Sharks, & T-rex Dodos

Episode Date: June 15, 2020

All kinds of crazy pre-historic nonsense in this episode. The battle Royale will blow your mind. You don't want to miss it. More at https://thewildtimespodcast.com. Follow us everywhere @wildtimespod We love you.

Bounchika, bown chica, bountchika, bountchika, wild time. I fell off a car one time and I wake up in the fucking hospital. They're young, they're dumb, and they're full of com. God, we're stupid and lame. Yeah, we are. Forrest just spit his drink all over his computer. What's up, guys? Patrick, how you doing?

I'm good. Just got in off the boat on a brisk upstate New York summer day. Beautiful. What a treat? Beautiful. That's Patrick DeLucah, Executive. producer and as always co-host of the Wild Times podcast. Peter, how about yourself? Good, good, glad my redness has turned into a golden brown, silky, smooth, tan, just like my voice and personality.

Thanks. What's with your side part? That's a, that's a new look. I don't fucking know. What's with you looking like a werewolf? I thought you just got a haircut. Okay. And that is Peter. You're always very aggressive. No, I'm not angry. Very angry. Yeah, very. angry guy. So guys, we're back. It's Wild Times episode 11, right? Yes, sir. Yeah, wow. And it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Peter, you're how many beers in? I had two, fell asleep. Had to set an alarm to get

up for this, and now I've had two more. That's a true story, isn't it? It sure is. What are you sipping on over there? These are Dosecchi's Amber. Mmm, delicious. Oh, nice. I keep thinking about trying that. How is it? It's really good. Very, very good. And it gets you drunk. Oh, BBR.

Patrick, that PVR tall boy, that's, boy, are you allowed to drink those in New York? Is that, is that allowed?

16 ounces of PBR can. Yeah, this is what I'm doing. That's great, man. You really have, yeah, you've turned into,

you know, an upstate New York trash pig, so good job. Oh, wow, way to alienate people. Forrest, what about you?

Nothing, nothing to sip on tonight? No, I've got a, I've got a lecois. I'm drinking a Lecroy, like a loser. But as soon as I get through that, I will grab

some bootcraft out of the fridge. That's what I'm shipping on today. Yep. Well, dude, happy Sunday, Forrest. We had a pretty good week this week, a little announcement to make. I know exactly what you're talking about, and I am thrilled. So for all of our listeners, and for Peter, who definitely doesn't know anything about what Patrick

and I do, we were nominated, Extincter Alive, was nominated for a Critics Choice Award, which is pretty big time in the world of television So go us. King Grat. And the best travel and adventure category, huh? Mm-hmm. That's right.

We're up against Josh Gates, Gordon Ramsey, and then a couple, like, food travel-type shows that I've never heard of. What was Gordon Ramsey doing in the adventure category? Adventurous food? He's got a show on Nat Geo where he, it's basically, Nat Geo's going to get upset. If they hear this, it's basically a direct knockoff of Bourdain. There's a little bit of more of an adventure.

element to it. Like I said, it's hilarious. There's a shot of Gordon Ramsey jumping into the water out of a helicopter. Is it him? It's not him. I don't know, but it's somehow, because that's the only way to get the ingredient for whatever he's going to cook is to jump out of a helicopter. He could have landed, but he chose to jump out to get said ingredient. Or gone to the fish market, or Ralph's. Forrest, have you ever thought about becoming a chef or just an adventure? No, I do a ton of cooking. And I won't say like Gordon Ramsey because I'm nothing like Gordon Ramsey, but in the sense of he's a much better cook. But no, I, you know, I've got a Michelin star chef. Sorry, chef.

Peter, as you know, I'm really into the foraging and the wild foods, all the mushrooms and the fish and all that. So I, you know, I like to respect those ingredients by doing them the honor of cooking them to the best of my ability. So I've actually, I'm quite quite a closet foodie, to be quite honest. You remember when I was at your house the first time and you made us that food that I thought was chicken and it was something else? You remember that? No, you thought it was you thought it was elk and it was chicken. Well, now that I've, now that I'm more comfortable with you, I just want to let you know that it tasted like shit and you're a horrible cook. You're lying.

Just kidding. It was delicious. Pat, why are you still so grim even though this big award you've been nominated for? Like, you just, you've got a very just flat face. Who me? There's no smile, like no sparkle in your eye. I just had hat and just... I think it's the camera angle.

I think it's because it's shooting directly up his nose. Oh, yeah, I can't see myself. Well, Forrest, four days from now, heading out on an expedition. Yep. I feel like we've teased it a lot, and it's annoying because we can't talk too much about it. Yep. But it's going to be in the ocean in a very cold place. Yep.

How's prep going? How's the gear going? Good. Gear is the most important thing when you go on a cold weather expedition, for sure. Gear saves your life every day. And with our expeditions, there's so much trial and error with repurposing technology to do wildlife work. The amount of gear, it's absolutely insane. I turn my computer around and show you guys what the floor of my office looks like right now. I mean, there's just piles of gear and everything from things that I've been creating and cutting out myself, decoys and things like that, too. this morning I spent half of my day, and this is a little tidbit that I'll give away,

I spent half of my day on a jet board, an electric powered surfboard that goes 40 miles an hour. Holy shit. Wait, do you stand on it? Yeah, you stand up on it, so you have a high vantage point. It goes 40 miles an hour. I'll text you guys a video, but I was training on it, and the reason being, Patrick, when we go to said mystery location to look for said very elusive rare animal, they move very quickly and they disappear quickly.

So a kayak, you're too low to the water, right? A stand-up paddle board, you're higher up, but you're way too slow. You're never going to keep up with them. And I found this company called E-Wave, super cool guy based out of Texas, and he's hooked me up with this electric surfboard that goes 40 miles an hour that I can keep up with the animals I'm looking for, which, you know, with glaciers and Arctic and, man, it's going to be nuts. Dude, 40 is crazy. So I was just out driving.

the speedboat around. And, you know, it's a little choppy on the lake today. And I was topping out at 30. Yeah. 40 on a surfboard is crazy fast. It rips. Like, let me be clear. It rips.

It's terrifying. I shot the pier today. So we went down to the Santa Barbara Harbor to test it out. And, you know, I'm pretty good on boards. I surf a lot and I snowboard and all that stuff. Right. And I got comfortable. It took me like maybe an hour to really be decent at riding and carving on this thing.

and then I just decided to go flat out full speed. There was no chop, fortunately, and just said, fuck it, and just shot the pier. Just went right under the pylons. And I could tell you, having these two, like, six-foot round concrete pylons, I guess they're wood pylons, go three feet on either side of me at 40 miles an hour. My heart jumped straight into my throat. I did not need to shoot the pier. It was really cool. I don't think, truthfully, I don't even think I'd do that on a jet ski, let alone a stand-up surfboard that I just procured.

Yeah, it was, it was very nuts. It was really fun. Pat, you're very, very just like sheepish and kind of scared in general. Yeah. I think I'm a little bit, I would say honestly, it's just risk averse, right? Like I, I often find, so my 16 year old male nephew just, I guess all nephews are male, just got up here yesterday. Not in 2020, bro. Not in 2020. And he just does dumb shrew. shit, constantly. Right? Yeah, yeah. So, like, on the boat, you know, I'm driving the boat at 30 miles an hour, and I look behind me, and he's standing up on, like, the kickstep, the swim step.

And I'm just like... He's taking a pest? No, he's just doing it because he thought it's fun. And so I often find myself asking Forrest and him, just like, what's the upside of what you're doing right now? Yeah. You do ask me that a lot. Like, wait.

Right. Like, if we're going to take a lunch break and you're going to, you're going to like eat your sandwich. Do you have to do it while you stand on the edge of the cliff? Take two steps back. This is what he said. To all of our listeners, what you're hearing right now is a very real conversation that Patrick and I have. I would say on average three times an expedition.

Yeah. We're on lunch. Like stand back. Don't go up the tree. You don't need to do that. There's no reason for it. The only difference though is that you're a grown-ass adult and the nephew is a 16. year old dumb dumb. So,

I'm going to pull my biologist card and break that down for a second. Oh, okay. So here we go. I'm a wildlife biologist, but I've spent my life observing wildlife. And I can tell you, one thing reigns true for mammals, right? When they are adolescent, they're young, they're dumb, and they're full of

cum, right? So they are they're full of testosterone, they're peacocking, they're showing off to get mates. And as we get older and wiser, you know, first of all, a few of them die off, and I'm not talking about it with humans, typically, but a few of them die off from being so young and dumb and showboating so much. And then the older, wiser ones, you know, they attract the girls.

And then it's that nice balance of old wiseness with young dumbness. And I just never grew out of being a 16-year-old kid who was full of testosterone. What about the old and wise part? I don't feel any of that vibe coming from you either. I think it's just still young, dumb, with more facial hair and a bigger head. Look who's talking. What? What?

Me? No, but speaking of that, Forrest and I are working on a television project not related to Extincter Alive that has to do with seals. Mm-hmm. Nice. And during the early development of this, you know, I was talking to Forrest about, you know, what's interesting about seal behavior and, you know, he was just running me through all the fascinating stuff. One of the things that I think is amazing is when seals, male seals are in their adolescent phase, they get, kicked out of what do you call it the community they live in their iglohram the harem or the pod yeah right so basically the equivalent of a 16 year old male human at age 16 you get kicked out by the the alpha male and you go to another area and live with a bunch of other 16 year olds and something called a bachelor pod

that's right that's a frat house for seals yep wow that's crazy wait so what's the behavior like are they just drinking white claw and like having toga parties? Yep, that's pretty much what they're doing. I'd like to say you're wrong, but in grandiose terms, that's almost exactly what they're doing. They're working with each other. They're learning to be alphas. They're fighting with each other. They're broing out.

They're hunting together. They're fishing together. They're trying to slam chicks. I mean, they're just, they're doing their thing. But really, what is the function of it? It's to eventually get big, strong and tough enough to go back and challenge. the alpha of their pod or another pod. Exactly, or another pod or create their own pod. And the function is, you know, just like in a frat house, when you're stuck around a bunch of other men, you know,

you're all going to compete. You're all going to try and get bigger and stronger and better. That's why everybody in the prison's working out, right? Because you want to be the biggest, strongest guy in the yard. Right. And it's basically that same sort of mentality. And when you are the biggest strongest guy in the yard, or at least you think you are, then you take off to go fight the next boss. Right. So, Peter, let me ask. you this. If when you were 16, you were sent off to a Bachelor pod with 40 of your buds, you were going to go live on your same island for two years. What do you think would have happened? I would be dead. I would not be here today for sure. Certainly. I would agree. Sometimes I'm

fascinated that I'm alive today from some of the shit that I did. I fell off a car one time that I was hanging on. Horace just spit his drink all over his computer. That was so close to me. spinning every... Dude, I fell off a... I fell off a car one time. I was hanging on to the outside, like the one inch that is outside of the windows with both hands on both sides. And my buddy just keeps speeding up, speeding up until he's going like 35.

And of course, I can't hang on. And I just let go and I wake up in the fucking hospital with a giant, like I was bleeding out of my head and all this shit. As an adult thinking back on that. that moment. I had like a bowl in my sock, like a bowl for weed. Like just all this shit. I'm like, what? How did I survive? Like, how am I not in jail or dead? So certainly if I was, if I was left to my own devices on an island with only other idiots, I would be dead for sure. Where would you rank, Peter? Would you be, would you be the alpha seal or would you be bitch seal? I mean, you guys

know me. I'm like, I'm loud and obnoxious, very selfish. I would definitely. Here's a thing. I know that because the first day, just, I've known Peter now for almost 15 years, the first day, if he wasn't respected as the alpha, he would fight till death. So he would either be dead the first day or proven as the alpha. He'd be like, you know, he's just such a loud asshole. By the way, so I just, I finished my PBR and I pulled out my cell phone as I was listening to you guys. And I went to text my, my said 16 year old bachelor pod nephew to bring me another PBRR. BBR out of the fridge. And instead, I sent that text to a different person named Charlie, who is a TV producer

that I worked with 10 years ago. So he's probably pretty curious. Charlie, the nephew, would have just sent back a middle finger emoji anyways, dude. So like what he's, he's going to be getting, he probably thinks you're cool, though. Dude, you have that hat on. He's got to be. Oh, he's been ripping on this hat the whole time. Yeah, we all have all of our fans, everybody.

Oh, thanks. picture on Instagram. There have been... Hang on. Hang on. Look what just happened. And he opened it for me. Oh, my God. He opened it.

Thanks, Charlie. Thanks, Charlie. You're a bro. Charlie, you're on. You're the next guest. I got to ask. So I'm switching now from LaCroy to Boochcraft, a delightful alcoholic kombucha. If we keep...

If we continue to drink at this rate, and it is three o'clock in the afternoon here, who's popping their shirt off first? Probably Peter. Yeah. I'm real excited that my redness has turned into a golden brown tan. I'm done. Even with that bod? I know.

It is. It's like, you know, mid-30s, you just grow tits. It's fucking crazy. None of us are proud of what's going on. I mean, it's funny. I have some buddies that make a big football podcast. And I was just listening to it yesterday as I was mowing the lawn. Dude, you weren't turning into fucking John Candy from summer rental.

I swear to God. That's also the most like American. statement I've ever heard. I can just imagine you riding your mower listening to a football podcast drinking PBR. Dude, PBR and the cup holder football podcast. Shirts optional, as Forrest would say. Yeah. But they were all talking about, you know, now 13 weeks in that, you know, they're all pretty fit guys how just every one of them, there's four of them, have just let their diets go to complete shit. It's tough, man. I'm telling you, it's tough. Yesterday I went down. So, buddy. who's not from Santa Barbara was heading

through Santa Barbara. He's a big volleyball player from college, played really competitive volleyball. And he's like, hey, you want to meet at East Beach, which is where the volleyball courts are. And he's like, yeah, I just see my old stomping grounds. We'll hang out for an hour, watch a little volleyball. And I was like, eh, not really my thing, but totally come to see you. And we got

down there, and I literally, I won't say I did a double take. I would say I did a quadruple take. He has gained, and granted it's been maybe two years. It's called a double chin take. He has gained 40 plus pounds. He is just That's crazy. It looks awful.

Just during quarantine? I didn't ask. I didn't have the heart to ask, but I have to imagine a lot of it is during quarantine because he's like, I haven't been outside. I haven't done any exercise. I'm like, yeah, we can tell. I think what happened is that when we all first entered into this, we all thought it was going to be 15 days. I mean, pretty much everyone thought, we're going in for two weeks, you know, whatever. So we kind of just got into some bad habits, drinking some PBRs, eating some beer.

White Claw. And then it's hard to get out of that. Oh, man. It is difficult as fuck. I've been eating Taco Bell like once a week. I ordered $30 of Taco Bell with one other companion the other week. That's more than 30 items, you fat. It's not, you son of a bitch.

Everything's not a dollar at Taco Bell. Chalupas are 350 and I had two. They used to be a buck 99. Dude, Taco Bell is flourishing in this goddamn pandemic. The line of Taco Bell is like 30 fucking cars long every time I go. They can barely keep the meat hose stocked. By the way, just shout out to Taco Bell. The most pleasant Taco Taco Bell employee ever I experienced the other day.

She was just like, hi. And I was like, it was Saturday night. And she's like, how many hot sauces do you want? And I'm like, well, 10 of each. And she like gave me a thousand. And I was like, how is this person so fucking happy working at Taco Bell at like 11 on a Saturday night, but I love it, man. Fuck it. We know. You've brought it up

everybody. All right. So, Forrest, what's been in the news this week, man? Oh, there's some good stuff floating around. I think the one thing that has come across my desk the most is, have you guys seen this drone shot of 64,000 sea turtles

migrating towards Rain Island in North Queensland? Yeah, man. Amazing. It's crazy. Crazy footage. So tell us what's going on there. Yeah, totally. I mean, it's an absolutely stunning image, first of all. And it's just this image, if people haven't seen it, we'll post it on the social media. But there's literally thousands and thousands, scientists estimate 64,000 sea turtles

migrating towards this island in North Queensland. And they're doing that to lay eggs. Right. So this is what sea turtles do, right? We know the green sea turtles have nesting areas, and they return to these nesting areas year after year. But what makes this image so fantastic? and, you know, we've talked about this a lot with regards to quarantine and all these other phenomena, but is that this is more than twice as many turtles as were previously believed

to be seen in the area. So they were like, oh, you know, we're estimating that, I don't know, 30,000-ish sea turtles come to this area every year, which is a great number. And then, boom, one day, 64,000 of them show up approximately for this incredible phenomenon, all to go to the beach to lay eggs, which is, I mean, it's just stunning. Could this have anything to do with sort of, you know, it's been a recurring theme since quarantine. Could this somehow be related to that? Look, I think it could be. I don't think there's any proof of it, this.

This is anecdotal. But here's how I'd look at it. In Australia, sea turtles are protected. But those same sea turtles, you know, travel to Indonesia where they're hunted very, very heavily. And many other island nations of Solomon Islands and places like that, where they are a reliable. food source. So if we're in quarantine and the animals are not having pressure and hunting pressure put on them, perhaps they feel a little bit more relaxed and they are able to group more easily and go to an area more relaxed. And maybe it's not so much that what we're seeing is more

turtles than we think we're ever there before, but rather the behavior in which the turtles are exhibiting is a more relaxed behavior. So we're able to see a lot more of them at once and go, oh look, there's actually this many. It's not that this is not exactly how it works, but it's not that 30,000 are coming during the day and we're missing 30,000 at night. It's just there are way more than we realized, and they're more relaxed in nature because there isn't this pressure on them. So they're all just moving together at the surface and directly in visual,

you know, directly in line of sight. Let me ask you this, so since they're going to lay eggs, is it only, is that 64,000 all females? No, it wouldn't be. It would be a mix. They are mating and then laying eggs You know, there is gestation. So it's like a fucking party. An orgy, dude.

Oh, yeah. It's a turtle orgy, for sure. No doubt about it. Very relaxed, dude. They're just hanging out, sipping white claws. Maybe they're going to meet the seals, the 16-year-old seals after they do the orgy. I mean, that is crazy to think about.

It's amazing. And think about, you know, like I said, these animals travel to New Caledonia, Vanuatu, the Salamans, Indonesia, you know, up into Papua, in the Guinea, all of these other places, and they're all coming together back in this one area in Australia. They haven't seen each other for a year or more, getting together, mating, laying eggs. And it's great because, especially in this day and age, right, like, sea turtles, they're one of those poster children for conservation, where everything you see is like a straw getting pulled

out of a turtle's nose or a turtle eating a plastic bag and choking to death. And so it's nice, I hate ecophobia, right? I don't think we should ignore the negative stuff because we should You know, we need to acknowledge it. But seeing another turtle, eating another plastic bag is a page turner. No matter whether you're a biologist like myself or just a complete loser like Peter or someone in the middle. But no matter who you are, it's a page turner. But to see a bit of good news and to see something exciting like this drone footage of 64,000 turtles in one spot, that's exciting. And it's a positive thing.

And to focus on the positive is really nice for conservation. Hell yeah. I mean, let's extrapolate this out to think about this in human terms. Imagine that you spend your entire year, if we all just spend our entire year, just sort of roaming the countryside or the woods, foraging, just doing our best. Maybe you see another human, you don't do much. And then once a year, we all just came together in Ibiza. And it was known that everyone who was there was there to have an orgy and reproduct. news.

Yep. It'd be great. Fantastic. Yeah. That's the life I'm hoping for post-pandemic. I'm assuming that's what's going to happen after. I think West Hollywood might look a bit like that. Well, Forrest, I've got a story.

This was not in the news, but it's a story that I've been following closely. So my mother and stepdad live in South Carolina. Okay. And he, during quarantine, has decided to just turn his entire backyard into a garden. So he's planted a ton of vegetables and they have a lot of squirrels. Right? So the squirrels are just there just devouring the saplings, just running rough shot, just having a squirrel orgy in his garden at all times.

All these fucking animals fucking what's going on. Wait, so get this, right? So he got some of these, they're these humane squirrel traps where it's very much like the trigger traps that you'll build in the field, right? Yep. They come in, they take a bit of the peanut butter. The door falls behind him and then you relocate the squirrel. Yep. So he had already read that squirrels are actually kind of territorial and they'll often come back.

So you should relocate it pretty far from where he live. Like 10 miles or more, yeah. Like really far. Yeah. Well, so he's been meticulously, I fucking can't believe he's doing this. He's obsessed with it. He's in his early 70s. Wow.

So he drives, takes the screeching squirrel that's in this shrewlishing squirrel that's in this shoebox, essentially, into his car, and he drives it over this three-mile bridge, right? To an island, and he frees them on this island. Okay. He's creating squirrel lord of the flies. Yeah. So he's, and he's, of course, keeping count, and my mom is sort of avidly enjoying this and making fun of him behind his back. And so he's, at this point, he's, I mean, this was as of a few days ago, he'd relocated like 45 squirrels.

Oh, my God. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, so the number of squirrels hasn't really gone down. It's like this never-ending fucking influx of squirrels. So he's starting to get pissed about this. So he catches a squirrel last week. I don't know why he did this, but he painted a little red dot on the squirrel. Yep, little biodegradable paint. I was about to suggest this.

Yep, and he did get bio-degradable. He's an animal lover, so, like, yeah, he used biodegradable paint. drives the squirrel across a three-mile bridge and frees it on an island. It's got a big red dot on its ass. Yep. Do you think the squirrel came back? It sure did. Yes, it did.

It fucking came back and he caught it again. No, he caught it again? Yeah. That squirrel has learned nothing. Learn nothing. This bridge isn't like a land bridge of like nice terrain. This is a bridge with a sidewalk on each side for runners and a highway. and a highway going through it.

Oh my God. That is a determined squirrel. Now, that squirrel is climbing over like the top, whatever wires are there. Do they love that shit? That squirrel's like, oh, this is like a game. This is a gymnasium. He's putting me here.

I'm coming back. He's putting pain on my butt. This is fantastic. You know what my favorite part of that story is, is the fact that your 70-year-old stepdad just came up with his own and executed flawlessly a relocation and monitoring method.

That's like a tried and true proven. I was literally going to say, here's what your dad needs to do, go and get some biodegradable paint, hit them on the tail, see if they're coming back. And he just came up with it and just did it. And he's like,

look at this. And I mean, that is a method that people have used for, for, you know, decades to try and understand like how animals move.

And your dad just did it. Your dad is literally a better scientist than I am already. Well, I'll tell you that I know that he didn't Google it. because every time I call his cell phone, he answers it as if just a household item started ringing and he's confused by it.

So I don't think he knows how to use Google. But Forrest, my question for you is like, what mechanism? I mean, they're not using, you know, they can't smell from three miles away. What the fuck are these squirrels using to know how to get back to that place to eat that tomato plant? Well, you don't even know this, but you just unwittingly opened up a huge, huge animal mystery because that is something that we don't know the answer to. Wow. You know, if your stepdad can figure it out, that would be a huge thing for science.

But look, I mean, we know basic things about the animal and its morphology, right? We know what kind of sight it has. We know what kind of smell it has. We don't know anything about its directional abilities. How does a squirrel know that after being put in a cage, stressed out, harassed, right? There's no way it's like looking out the window going, that landmark, that landmark, that landmark, that landmark. You know what I mean?

This thing is frantic, it's panicking, it's got a squirrel brain. That's literally a term squirrel brain. Right, right. You know what I mean? For something being called stupid. And yet somehow it figured out the intricacies of highway travel to get back to your stepdad's garden to eat his plants. I mean, it's fascinating stuff and nobody knows how they're doing it. What's sort of the most accepted theory?

I mean, or what are some of the theories? Like, is there a sixth sense that mammals might have? What do you think? Yeah, I think there's a couple, there are a couple theories, you know, electroreception, the ability to read Earth's magnetic poles and navigate based on that. Like our 64,000 sea turtles, we know they do that for sure. That's how they return. There's certainly a lot of theories about mammals' use of electroreception, whereas we know

it definitely takes place in birds and certain reptiles. We don't know much about it for mammals, but we believe, certain scientists believe that they have that ability based on the frontal cortex of their brain. landmarks or another one, territory and range is another one, right? So if we think maybe that squirrel, and I don't believe this to be the case, but maybe that squirrel's range, his natural range, includes all the way across that bridge, and he's made that commute half a dozen times in his life. So when he gets dropped off, he settles in, you know, his heart rate decrease and he goes, oh, I know where I am, I just need to go back over here to this part of my range. Now, the thing is,

with what you're saying, with the abundance of the squirrels, the odds are not like for that, right? If there's a gazillion squirrels, their ranges get smaller and smaller and smaller because they have to protect, you know, more area against more intruders. So the odds of that squirrel having a three-mile range across a freeway bridge, I say are pretty slim, but, you know, these are all theories that exist and none of us, no one really knows is the truth. No one knows how that animal got back to your dad's lawn. And it furthers my thought process and belief that animals are just overall, regardless of the species, even though some are dumb, some are clever, whatever, but overall, they're a lot smarter than we give them credit for.

Smart or, like you said, some type of six cents, more in tune with their surroundings in the environment, maybe like humans used to be, but now we're so distracted by shitty podcasts. No, great, fantastic podcasts like ours. Forest, I saw one and I know you're going to be interested in it. Are you done with your questions there, Pat, about the squirrels? I mean, we've been on it for 45 minutes and can learn nothing. Squirrel talk. Did you see this thing, Forrest, about the ancient crocodiles and how they walk?

Have you seen this? No. Tell me, no. Tell me more. Tell me more. I love crocodiles. I know. I know.

You think they're, like, stupid and fantastic and you like to, like, wrestle with them and shit, right? They're perfect animals. They haven't changed for millions of years. No, you're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong. Harry, he was a friend. Ancient crocodiles, I think, could take you on because apparently they walked on two legs like dinosaurs.

Wait, what species of ancient crocodiles? This is amazing. What species of ancient crocodile is this? What? What do you mean? Like, do you want the actual genome? You're useless to me. I'm looking this up.

No, yeah. It was a study at the University of Queensland. And they're basing it on footprints they saw in South Korea. And they believe that some sort of ancient fucking big crocodile was walking on two feet about 110 million years ago. I will tell you something, that is a terrifying thought. Dude, it really is. And they found it based on footprints that they found. Here's the thing, right?

Bipedal animals typically are fast, right? Like really fast in short bursts. Like think of an ostrich, right? Or a T-Rex. Or a T-Rex, sure. They are fast and short first. Real quick, that's going to be important later. The T, right?

What you just said. Yep. Interesting. All right. Sorry to interrupt you, but wow, what a perfect segue. That's great. Yeah, buddy. Two-budbriars.

So two-legged animals are quick in short sprints, right? I think the only thing that keeps the crocodile from being literally the ruler of the planet is the fact that they walk on four stumpy little legs and have to be near water. Put one of those things onto two legs. Give it a jetboard, let it go 40 miles an hour. And you have arguably the, well, first of all, it's a dinosaur, obviously, but it's the top predator on the planet. I mean, that is super freaking cool, especially on that 40 mile per hour surfboard. Yeah, that's right.

I'll be interested when they publish their study here for you to read it and see what you think, because, you know, I don't know. To me, this is a little bit, this is a. passing the smell test for me. I haven't read anything, but you know what, a hundred footprints from 110 million years ago, I don't know about that. No, and totally. And that's the thing is we can, you know, I'm sure they have methods to support their statement, but that doesn't mean that it's accurate, right? They, what's to say that they didn't have tiny little front legs that didn't leave, or huge pads of front legs like an elephant, right, that didn't leave

an impression because there was so much weight dispersal over so much surface area. I mean, that's the thing is like it's all guesswork when it comes to something like looking at footprints and making it up but i'll tell you this as an anecdote we used to some buddies and i used to talk about what would be the most terrifying thing in the world and it was tree crocs it was a crocodile that used to climb up trees and body slam you and then eat you and uh you know can you just imagine walking through a jungle and you just get the people's elbow from a 12 foot crocodile and then he just gobbles you up that's that that is the only thing that more terrifying than a two-legged crock.

Well, speaking about bipedal lizard creatures. Here we go. Here we go. You guys ever seen Jurassic Park, the original? No. Indeed. Made that a movie? Many times? Yeah, it's a film, it's a film, Peter.

Oh, okay. There's a famous scene where, you know, the T-Rex chases them in a Jeep. Jeff Goldblum's in the Jeep saying weird things. And he chases them. Really fast. Really fast. You know, we were taught as kids and for years. scientists told us that the T-Rex

ran out speeds up to 45 miles an hour well what if there's one scientist in London at the Natural History Museum named William Sellers who's calling bullshit on that. This I've seen.

I actually know a little bit about this. So they did a pretty in-depth study using a lot of advanced like kinesiology modeling and physics and basically what they came up with is that the T-Rex, undeniably in their mind, was incredibly awkward, an incredibly awkward mover carrying that huge body and giant skull around, almost certainly was horrible on its feet. And they think

it maybe was able to get up to speeds at about 12 miles an hour for a short sprint, would likely fall over. The average human can run, the average human can get their, their sprint is 15 miles an hour. Right. Right. And so based on this, they think the T-Rex was not this fearsome apex predator at all, that it was more, you know, akin to like a turkey vulture, that it was almost certainly a scavenger. Really? Yeah. That shatters my vision. So I've actually, I've actually seen and read some of this, and it is, when you look at the morphology of a T-R-X, take Hollywood out of it, like try and take your preconceived notions of what a T-R-X is out of it, and look at that thing.

Look at its big, fat tree trunk legs, and its silly little body, it's so bottom heavy. It's basically a giant dodo, right? Yeah, it is. The shape of a T-Rex. It's the same shape as a dodo bird, and we knew that the do-dos were so slow and dumb

that we could walk up to them and bop them on the head for sport. Right. A T-Rex is just a 40-foot-tall dodo with big teeth. Very sharp teeth, and definitely, but, dude, the T-Rex must have had hops with big legs like that. No way. Its body was so heavy and its head was so heavy that they think it was literally just a

carry-on scavenger, which sort of takes a lot of the, that fucking ruined my, that ruins my childhood retroactively. Heavy body, heavy head sounds like somebody who's with us right now. They did go on to say that despite that, they do still think based on the morphology that it would have had the strongest jaw in the history of the planet. Oh, interesting. And also that each, you know, those little arms, you know, people make fun of the T-Rex's sort of little, little arms, that based on the way that the joint is constructed in the size, they think that if you had given a T-Rex a 400-pound dumbbell, it would have been able to do curls with a 400-pound dumbbell. That's, man, that T-Rex should be just fucking throw that dumbbell at your dumb head.

Jesus. It totally ruins everything that you think of about the T-Rex. And if you're a child listening to this, first of all, go and slap your parents because they shouldn't allow you to listen to this. And secondly, like, I'm sorry that we just ruined the rest of your upbringing in dinosaurs because it is, it's not fun to think that they were slow and dumb. I do remember Jurassic Park being like, this is what dinosaurs really were like because it was so realistic and lifelike when they put out the movie. Right. And it still holds up when you watch it, you're like, this is fucking crazy. This looks good.

30 years later, whatever the hell it is, 20 years later. Way better than the subsequent, the ones that they put out recently that's all CGI. Oh, I hate that shit. Awful. They look like cartoons. The newest one is just such trash. Like, it's running around a museum the whole time. Like, it's two hours of this dinosaur in a museum.

And you're like, what is he doing here? Oh, dude. God, it's a mess. Jurassic Park 3, I believe it was. I don't know what, which was one of the most recent ones in the last couple of years or whatever. But the female lead actress. has high heels on the entire fucking time. She's like running around the goddamn grasslands, the jungle with these high heels on.

I'm like, this is ridiculous. You can't fucking put some decent shoes on this actor. What the fuck? Yeah, it's a mess. So I got another what's in the news that I was really excited about. Yeah, man. I'd love to tell you guys about. And it made me, what made me think of it is, you know, Patrick brought up the new science

and how that's changing our understanding of, you know, of T. and animals just from new science, but I saw some physical science that combined with new science that I love. So about a year ago, there was a toucan in Costa Rica. They named her Grisha, and a bunch of teenagers found her, and they beat her with sticks, right? And they, they, they, don't ask me why kids do this kind of shit, but they do. They beat her up with sticks, and this too can lost the top half of her bill, and she was going to die. Like, an animal cannot live with half its face missing, and it was really, really sad. And, you know, this, the story, like went partially viral and it was kind of one of those like how dare they type thing.

And now I just saw this past week that Gratia, who lost her bill a year ago, had a, has received a 3D printed prosthetic bill. Nice. And it's almost fully recovered. Like it's, she's accepted it. She's taking it in as part of her body. This young bird can live in the wild again. She's able to pick things up, preen with it.

She can even sing with it. Wow. Sing with it. That's crazy. She can sing with it. Yeah. because, you know, their toucans are very, very vocal, yeah. Right.

And one scientist even said that it's improved her ability to sing. I don't know if what is basing that on. She sounds like a young Tony Braxton. But it's just so cool to see this, like, 3D printing wasn't even a thing 10 years ago, really. And now, you know, we're using it to build prosthetics. And yeah, we all know that we're using it to build prosthetics for human beings. And that's great, and I'm not taking away from that. But the fact that someone took it upon themselves or the kindness of their heart to build a

prosthetic bill for a two can in Costa Rica. And it's literally saved the animal's life and fixed everything. I don't know. I just think it's so great. I mean, like a lot of times on this podcast, I'll complain about humans and just how shitty we are. But honestly, this is a good one because I love when we use our technology and bullshit to actually help out the universe and earth and shit and animals especially because I love them.

Go people. Go people. Forrest, did you see the thing out of Hawaii near the other. island of Kona or the area of Kona where they photographed, and we'll post the pictures, but a seven-foot white tip shark that had these weird little white marks all over its back. Did you see this? I did. There was some, I saw, I just saw the headline. It's an oceanic white tip and it's got, like, I don't want to ruin the surprise if I'm wrong, but doesn't it have like squid marks on it or something? Yeah. So it had all these white marks on its back. And upon further inspection,

scientists discovered that they were suction cup marks from a giant squid's tentacles. An actual giant squid? Like the real deal? We've only seen like a few of those, right? Correct. Yeah, exactly. But based on the size of the suction cups, you know, the tentacles would have had to have been huge. And they're saying it's the first definitive evidence of shark versus squid battles.

So who won you think? I mean, the shark did because the squid is eaten and gone. Well, I would guess neither of them. are dead. That would be my guess. So let's break it down for a second. So Oceanic White Tip, right? We're talking about a large pelagic-agic-aggressive shark. So for anybody that doesn't know?

What's a pelagic? God, you're a cretan. This is for the listeners. I know what it is, obviously. Pelagic means they are transient. They live out in the open water. They don't hang out in one particular place. Typically, they're just, they're out and moving with the currents and with the tides, and they're never really stopping in one spot. Nice. So it's a large pelagic shark.

It's most famous for being the shark that ate everybody that went down on the USS Indianapolis. They're known, they're pretty smart. They're known to follow ships, blah, blah, blah, killed 300 people overnight. Patrick and I did a TV show on that, no big deal. That's nuts. More on that later. We could do a whole podcast on it. Oh, it's amazing.

Yeah. But so there are these large pelagic sharks. But the thing that we understand and slash know about oceanic white tips is they are surface dwellers, right? These are sharks that stay in the top 50 or 60 feet of the ocean. They don't go down deep. Well, what do we know about giant squids? We know that they are deep sea creatures.

So there's something that we don't know here, ladies and gentlemen. And what the, I mean, you know, it begs a couple questions. Who was in whose niche? My guess would be that the giant squids probably came up to the surface during the noctuary. migration, which is a real thing. Every night animals come up from the deep sea up to the surface to feed and go back down before the sun comes up. It's actually the greatest migration on Earth. The most biomass of animals moves every night globally than anything else. But anyway, so my guess would be squid came up, shark went in for the attack, and yeah, what was the outcome? We don't know.

And I guess it begs the question, who attacked who, right? Because if the squids coming to the surface to hunt and it sees the shark. Did it go for the shark or did the shark go for it? Are the sharks just always awake? Are they just always like prepared to fight? Or are they sleeping? Is that a possibility that the squid came up? Totally. So they, um, so sharks sleep while moving. So they're, they're in kind of, um, like a trans and they're swimming with their, you know, swimming in a kind of a switched off mental state more or less. And that's, they have to do that because pelagic sharks like the oceanic white tip don't have the ability to pump water over their gills. so if they stop moving, they stop breathing.

So they are always moving. You'll never see a shark not moving, except for benthic sharks, which is a different type of thing. But yeah, so my, you know, look, no one knows the answer. I'm just breaking this down. I got really excited and started overtaking Patrick. Nobody wants to hear his bullshit anyways.

My thing is just thinking that logically, maybe the shark was sleeping, cruising, squid came up basically looked like a giant lure, attacked the shark, shark switched on, probably laid some bites on it and took off. But maybe the opposite, right? Maybe oceanic white tips go down to 3004, I'm sure more than that, but maybe they go down to 3,000, 4,000 feet to the sea floor and hunt down there, and we don't even know that.

Dude, that's crazy how little we know about the ocean. We know less about the ocean than we do about space, I feel like. Definitely than the moon, yeah. We have actually mapped a smaller percentage of the bottom of the Earth's oceans than we have mapped of Mars. Which is also insane because there's 100% creatures, we could call them ocean aliens, that exist in this unmapped territory that are there for sure. And we're concerned with the aliens that come from space. It's a weird, what? You don't think that there are aliens in space?

I saw it when you looked at me. I do, but I don't think they're coming from Mars. I didn't say Mars. You said Mars. Are we talking about Bruno? What are we talking about here? Mars in space? Oh, fuck off.

You guys are just, everything's whoosh. That hair dude should be catching my jokes, but it's just going right over the top of your dome. I can't see myself on this new thing. I don't know what my hair looks like. It's not great. Pat looks significantly drunker. Then he did at the beginning of the podcast.

He's all dopey-eyed, doughy-eyed. Yeah, drunker. More drunk? Fuck up. All right, guys, after Peter's angry rant there, I think I do have to say that it's time. For what? I know that drum roll. That never gets old.

Oh, I love it. What is it, mate? The Battle Royale. God, we're stupid and lame. Yeah, we are. What do we got today? I'm stoked about this. I know that you've been working on this like it's the...

the cure for cancer, Pat. Well, here's the thing. You're sipping your third dirty martini. Okay. The plane starts, it's just, you've had a patch of turbulence and it's a problem. Now, you're taking a private jet. You have to get somewhere. And there's only, you know, there's only a few people on the plane.

It's you and three others. And then, you know, the pilot. Sadly, as you crash into the, just the harshest part. of the Amazon jungle, the pilot dies. Oh. You and three passengers survive. Okay. But you're now going to have to live and survive in the harshest environment on the planet.

Oh, me. In the Amazon, it's going to just be brutal. You have nothing with you. All of the luggage burned up. You can pick who are the three people you want to be the other passengers on that plane, but it can't be a family. member, a friend, or anyone that you've ever met. Oh, wow. Can I pick who I want the pilot to be? Because I have a list of people I want to be dead. Oh. Nope. No, it's not about who you want dead.

It's who you want to enter into the worst survival situation ever with for three months. And if you don't mind, I'm going to go first. Oh, man. I know you got something chambered here. It's almost a cheat. All right, go ahead. Well, look, when it comes to survival, I know a little bit. It's mostly stuff I've picked up from Forrest. But I don't know a lot. And other survivalist hosts that you've worked with, not just me. But, you know, I've met Forrest. I'm friends with Forrest, so I can't pick him.

Right. So I'm just going to go with the low-hanging fruit. I'm going to pick Bear Grills. I knew he was going to say Bear Grills. God damn it. That just makes me feel dumb. I'm better than Bear. I am better than Bear.

Oh, I don't doubt that. But he's the only other one that I've never met that I can pick. What is he going to teach you how to do? Like, is he going to teach you how to eat bugs and shit and disgusting shit and poo? Yeah, I mean... Yeah, I mean, you know, anything. How to eat, how to make clean water. Yeah, everything.

He is very good at what he does. Ah, yeah, which is what? Entertaining people and eating like live bats and bugs and shit. I don't think he does anything. Why are you so grumpy again, Peter? I'm not grumpy. You know, A, that I am the top contender. Yeah, frumpy.

I'm a curmudgeon for sure. But I am very serious about. Battle Royal. I almost consider it my segment because I'm obviously, I've won them all. And Pat's very low, very, very low. I'm the total ball. So I get annoyed when he makes stupid picks. Patrick, this is your battle royal. Are we going snake draft style or are you going all three first? No, snake draft. Snake draft. Okay. All right. So I'm going to give Peter the second pick because he is red face drunk and he is. He's going to pick the lady from Taco Bell this weekend. Dude, I would, as long as she brought the Taco Bell with,

um, on the plane, the full building. Uh, so I'm going to go with, uh, this is a tough one. I mean, honestly, I was considering him because my dictionary of celebrities isn't that big in my head, but I do know one. Forrest is showing us his 7.0% alcohol by volume bootchcraft. He's opening his sixth one. Don't worry on that. You, you stay, stay home.

On topic, gentlemen. Stay on topic. Sorry. I'm going to go, because I know that this person, I've seen him on television, handling some of the most, the toughest conditions. He's been stranded on an island. He knows how to make friends with inanimate objects. I'm going with Tom Hanks.

It's because he did a film where he befriended a volleyball name Wilson. He's a notoriously nice guy. Like, he'd be fun to hang out with. I do think he actually probably did some survivalism, for the movie. Or either that or he's a really good actor. I don't know. One of the two.

So I'll pick Tom Hanks. He's very friendly. I've heard he had COVID already. So he wouldn't bring COVID with him. Okay. Good pick. Good pick. And I don't want him to die.

I don't want Tom Hanks to die. I feel like he's a national treasure. And I am doing society, human civilization, a favor. You're doing a favor by dragging him to the Amazon for three months with you? He was just on the plane. I wasn't dragging him there. He was on the plane by himself.

Fair enough. All right. Forrest is up for two back-to-back picks. Who do you got? Two back-to-back. Okay. Number one is the man who actually became famous for trekking across the Amazon.

I'm not sure if you guys have heard of Ed Stafford. He's like a British. Well, I guess Bear Girls is British. He's like another British Bear Grills. except he's really, I respect Ed Stafford a ton. He literally became famous as the first man to walk the entirety of the Amazon River. And so I think if anybody's going to survive in the Amazon, that's a foreigner, and I'm prefacing that because of my next pick, it's going to be Ed Stafford.

He understands the intricacies of surviving in the Amazon. I think it took him like over a year. And he was just on foot walking the entire time. Okay, another rational, rational, lame, very square pick. That's fine. Why do you need to bring another survivalist with you, broologist, survivalist? So I just looked it up. It took him 860 days one step at a time to walk through the Amazon.

Oh, shit. So three months is going to be nothing. Yeah. So he spent 860 days surviving in the Amazon. He's a good pick for me. Yeah, all right. Why do I need him? Because he spent 860 days in the Amazon.

He's got experienced. maybe a collective three months total and every time with tents and all of my own equipment. So, um, yeah. So, so leading with Ed Stafford. Okay. All right.

And then I get back to back picks. So my next pick, stay with me now, is the gentleman from primitive technologies. Do you know who, are you guys familiar with this? Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

Primitive technology has 10.5 million subscribers on YouTube. And it's this dude, Australian dude. Shout out. Just, you got, you got to look this up. And listeners, you have to look this up. If you haven't seen it, it's this guy that builds, I'm not going to understate it here, mansions out of nothing. Like he starts with a stone, builds a fire, fire treats his stone, sharpens it to a point,

cuts down a tree, builds a log cabin, insulates it with mud, builds a swimming pool. I mean, it's like bonkers. Dude, I'm not kidding. Like, go and watch what this guy does. It is bonkers crazy, the stuff he builds. That is going to be hard to beat. It's like... Ovens.

It's insanity. Like, he built an underground swimming pool out of mud. I mean, this guy just, he fucking gets it. And so the primitive... I don't know his name, but he's the guy that runs the primitive technology things on YouTube. And he is really cool. And I feel like he would definitely... One, I get to learn a ton from him and Ed Stafford.

But two, he'd make us a very nice house for a little bit. Here's the problem I have with your picks so far, Forrest. Okay. And I'm, you know, it's a jerk. Yeah, for sure. But I mean, there's a lot of strong egos so far in your pick. You and then these two guys, everybody's going to have their own opinions. They're going to want to do things a certain way.

I really don't think that you're going to be able to work constructively together. I think that you guys will probably separate on day one or two and just be doing your own thing. And you, for sure, will die. That's because you don't know who my third pick is. is a silly guy. You're going to have to wait for that, Peter. Not yet. All right.

So Forrest with two very pragmatic picks. Peter has one actor. Dude, he had trading. Who are you going to go with, Peter? Okay, so my number two, because, I mean, I have faith in the, that the universe will guide me to wherever the fuck I need to be. Whether that's death or out of the Amazon is up in the air. Right. That's why you stood on the back of the car when you were a teenager.

I did not stand. I was hanging with fingertips. Perfect. So my second pick is because I love music. And there's only one. And I also think it'd be a joy to be around now. Justin Bieber will be my second pick because he's got a beautiful singing voice. He does.

And he will keep the morale of the whole group, me Tom Hanks and Justin up, by crooning as we trudge through the app. And we will not have big egos. I will stand third. I will be back. I will be third. I'll happily walk behind both of them. I think Bebs will be in front. Hanks,

second, and then me. We've already established, if you had to go to a bachelor pod when you were 16, that you would fight till death on the first day. Not if I had Justin. Not if Justin Bieber was there crooning me, mate.

You would beat him to death the first day. For sure. It's true. What would you do when he started insulting you for how loose-fitting you? your jeans were. Excuse me? Are you saying that I wear mom jeans? I am, yes.

What the fuck? You've never even seen my jeans. I wore, when I was at your place last time and you cooked that terrible food, I had my tightest fitting jeans that I own. They were painted on. All right. Oh,

all right. So I've got Bear Grills, who's going to really help with all things, survival. He's going to tell us which plants we can and can't eat. He's going to help fish. He's going to teach us his ways. And within a couple weeks, I will be nearly at his level. So here's where things get tricky. We've got all these plants.

We've been eating them raw. About two weeks in, I'm just going to be bored. Yep. And I'm going to start having a wandering eye. If I can't get some variety in my diet, I'm going to start looking at questionable berries and questionable mushrooms. So I need someone who can provide me the spice of life that I need with some variety in my diet. Okay. So I'm going to go with executive chef Tal Ronan from...

It had to be a chef. A restaurant called Crossroads in L.A. It's a vegan restaurant where I swear to God, you can eat there. And I had the lasagna. I couldn't believe it was vegan, man. But have you met Tell? Because that was your own stipulation. I've never met him.

I've never met him. Fair enough. I know we're going to be eating a lot of plant. And I feel like he's really dialed in when it comes to cooking plants in interesting ways and transforming them. So I've got Bear Grills. I've got Tal Rone. and then morale is going to be huge. Three months is a long time when you've got mysterious rashes,

different things that are going to come in the Amazon. So we're going to need a jokester. You're the jokester, aren't you? I'm okay, but I want someone funnier than me. So I'm going to go with my favorite comedian, Sebastian Manuskelko. Oh, my God. It's twofold. He's going to keep us entertained, which will keep morale high.

Oh, God. But the other thing is his entire comedy bit, revolves around him just everything annoying him. Everything makes him furious. And so I know that he will complain more than I will. So that if there were to be a mutiny, he would be the first one killed. Dude, honestly, that's brilliant. He's very intense.

I've heard he's the same way in real life. But genius the way you spun it around. He'll be the one that gets killed and eaten first. He's the guy that gets offed. It's funny because when you started explaining that, I thought you were going to say a doctor because you're like, there'll be a lot of problems. And I was like, come, it's a really good pick.

Like, a doctor's a good person to have on staff. You're like, comedian. And I'm like, oh, there it goes. Shoot. By the way, that show that we went, because we went to one of his shows. Oh, yeah, we did. It's so cute.

It was so much fun. You guys are a good time. We went with a crew to the Santa Barbara Bowl, which is just like a much better version of like the Hollywood Bowl in L.A. Big outdoor amphitheater. Totally sold. out, he just crushed. I mean, everyone was like,

people's sides hurt legitimately when we then went to the bar after that and drank 15 picklebacks each. We sure did. All right, what's your last pick, Peter? So you've got Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks, the Bebes. Who's your second? And just Bieber, okay? He's tatted up, full-body tats. He's very

handsome. He can croon us as we walk through the Amazon jungle. That's the eighth time you've used the word croon. I've had a few, not white claws, but Doseciski's today. So my third pick, and this is going to be my, my pragmatic pick. He's been in the survivalist field for 20 years now, very well known, handsome, handsome man. So we'll all be very good looking, which I'm, you know, in case we come across any crazy like tribesmen who want

to kill it, you know, good looking people don't be killed by tribesmen. And that is, that will be the host of Survivor, Jeff Proops, will be my third pick. I thought you were to say like Les Stroud or like one of these like really solid dudes. He's been in survivalism for 20 years. He's fantastic. He's got a better personality than Bobby Flay easily. Well,

but he doesn't know anything about survival. Are you kidding me? Have you seen the way that he fucking is? Yeah. He literally, he literally narrates a game show. I don't care. He can narrate us walking.

It will be specific, articulate, and informative. It would be fun if you just made the rule the first day and you just told Proops, like, I want you to narrate everything I do or I'm going to beat you to death. No, man, we're not going to have a Lord of the Flies situation like Forrest dog shit crew. Sorry, go ahead, Forrest. Wow. On that note, the reason that mine shall not be Lord of the Flies. Keep in mind, my first pick, Ed Stafford, solid experience.

pick. Second pick, primitive technology guy, solid comfort pick. Third pick, Margo Robbie, because she's really, really hot. I'd like to hang out with her for three months. In case you have to repopulate the Amazon with humans. That's right. That's right. That's right. Patrick, so Patrick and I have this argument constantly because I think she's the hottest woman in the world and he thinks that she's, she's not. So what is it? I mean, let's hear. So I want to hear why you contest that she's the hottest woman in the world because it's apparent why why forest is right why do you think thank you peter why do you think that she's not attractive me no somebody else that's just hard to you know what it's one of those things where it's hard to separate when you just look at someone you know yeah okay

she's attractive for me it's hard to separate the personality from the looks and after taking an entire cross-country road trip with her in a small vokes wagon bug what i can't Can't separate this. Wait. Is that true? Wait, what the fuck? Of course not. I've never met her.

She's just not my type. Okay. Okay. That was really well-planned, though. So your type is just male and bearded? I mean, what are you talking about? I mean, look at our podcast. I only have one type.

It's five foot three and looks exactly like my fiancé. Yeah, well-placed, sir. She is very attractive. Thank you. Thank you. Let's go over this one more time for the Battle Royale. Who have you got? Lay it on us. Patrick, you went first. Go. Who are your guys? I have bear grills. Bear grills. He is going to help us survive. Bad pick.

Tal Ronan is going to give us variety of food with our various vegetable matter. Delightful. And then Sebastian Manaskelko is going to keep us entertained and be the first one killed if there's a mutiny. Nice. Mars. Peter, go. I have the beautiful crooning voice of Justin Bieber. He's now been pushed up to number one in my list because of his voice. Tom Hanks, who is a national treasure, beloved worldwide, and will be a joy to walk through the Amazon with, hopefully naked. And third and finally, I have...

You forgot. No, I didn't. What are you talking about? Who is it then? Stop delaying. I'm not delaying. I don't know what you're talking about. I am not fucking delaying. No, what are you guys talking about?

It is the one and only very experienced survivalist. Jeff Prope. host of Survivor the TV show in its 40th season. 41st, thank you. All right, Forrest, go ahead. Who's yours? Finally, I have Ed Stafford,

the man who walked the Amazon for experience. Wait, did he walk or did he work? Why don't you just shut up guy who's only drinking 5% alcohol? A lot. I have the primitive technology guy for comfort. He's going to build us a mansion. And we're all going to live happily there

with Margot Robbie, who's a dolly. light. Nice. Nice. Okay, so here's the thing. I fucking lost. I'm last in every category because Forrest is going to win just the real vote. Peter's going to win the pity vote. And I'm right in the goddamn middle. Dude, you are definitely. And if you agree with that, go on to the Wild Times podcast on iTunes, leave us a review. And if you leave us a review, you might win a prize. Peter, take it away. Ooh, we have a prize winner today.

This is for the $100 gift card to Cool, which was never claimed weeks ago. So we are going to give it. K-U-H-L, cool. They make outdoor gear. The best. This is going to go to C-Bere's, C-Bairs, 81. He left a review back in April, but it is a random draw. But he left a nice one.

It's really long, and I'm not going to read it all. But it basically says that this podcast is a must listen. You got to listen. you won't regret it. Retep is the professor. He's fucking awesome. And the other two are idiots. He's paraphrasing.

Wait, no, this is really what it says. No, I'm just kidding. So what's his handle, though? What's his handle so he knows? His or her ha. C bears 81. C bears 81. You had me at cheesecake comma cheesecake wins is the last lines of the review.

See bears, hit us up on Instagram. Send us an email. Peter will connect with you. and we will make sure that you get your prize of $100 to cool. You have 30 days to claim that. And for anybody else that's listening, go ahead and leave us a review. If you do leave us a review, you're automatically entered into the winning pool. This week, our giveaway is a grip-to-you cell phone case.

It's the cell phone case that I use on every expedition, has a little kickstand, and most importantly, it has a little thing that you can put your hand under so you can grip it for filming things without dropping it, because God knows I drop my phone everywhere we go. When you're up really high in trees for no reason. Did you use it on the 40 mile per hour surfboard today, is my question. I did actually. See?

I knew it. Yep. Smart. Yep. Didn't drop it once. Forrest, what's your Instagram handle, by the way? Because you constantly mentioning these cool vids and stuff that you post. What is it?

Oh, my, my IG, you can find it by searching my name, the one and only, Forrest Galante. My handle is forest. Forrest.gillante, because I screwed up when I first made Instagram and didn't know, I somehow deactivated the account for a space galante. Classic broologist. Yeah, it's forest dot galante. It's a lot of fun. Follow us there.

And of course, follow us on the Wild Times pod, right? At the Wild Times pod, Peter. Yep. At Wild Times Pod everywhere else. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, porn hub, all that shit. Grindr. It's a good podcast. Enjoyable.

Enjoyable. I am hammered. I've got to say, too, it was really nice to sign on and see both of your quarantine. haircuts looking so fucking shitty. It makes me feel really good. I know. I'll have that hat on. Dude,

it's affecting my behavior. I'm, I'm like, I'm noticing that I'm lashing out more because I'm embarrassed with the sight of my face in the mirror. It's bad.

Like one of just the members of like a shitty band, like Chicago. Let's see it. Pop that puppy off. Let's go. Come on. Holy shit.

I used to think you were handsome. I really did. used to think you were handsome and it was just because you had a good haircut. I'm realizing now it was nothing but the haircut. It's bad, but Forrest right now, yours is feathered to the nth degree. So mine looks fucking great. You two idiots look at terrible. You're a clown show and you're single. Boy, you should get that taken care of. Oh my God. Fuck off. All right. Love you guys. Get a haircut. Both of you. You guys. Thank you, listeners. Good night. Love you guys. Good night. I'm talking to listeners. I hate you too. Good night.

I don't know.