Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Animal Seen in California for Second Time in 100 Years - The Wild Times Ep. 120

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

This week we discuss the recent rare wolverine sighting in California, Australian's recent laws about gillnetting in the Great Barrier Reef and a huge announcement! BTG's Links: https://www.instagram.com/tasmanian_grizzly/?hl=en https://www.amazon.com/stores/Bradley-Trevor-Greive/author/B001IGHIVO?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true Watch Adventure Beast here: https://www.netflix.com/title/81080959 Subscribe to The Wild Times Podcast on YouTube ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Get YouTube Membership Perks ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVl7fHhUOpFK8Mpv-6DdoOg/join Get Up To 4 Bonus Podcasts Per Month ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod Watch More Episodes Here ▶▶ https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP... Visit https://thewildtimespodcast.com/ now! Join The Wild Times Discord Server: https://discord.gg/EkUWebe2 Get your Wild Times Podcast merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Leave a review on iTunes Apple Podcast: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/itune... Follow The Wild Times Podcast on socials: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildtimespod/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespod Twitter: https://twitter.com/WildTimesPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/ Listen to The Wild Times Podcast on: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cbFBzf... Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Google: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0... Anchor.fm: https://anchor.fm/wildtimespod/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Enjoy, brosteners! TWT 120 - The Breakdown 00:00 - Intro 01:47 - Fruit Picker Update 04:02 - Wolverine in California 07:05 -Wolverine vs. Honey Badger 08:57 - BTG in the House 14:47 - BTG Broken Back Story 18:52 -Aus Gillnet Great Barrier Reef 28:32 - Fact or Fiction 46:32 - Big Announcement 57:29 - Battle Royale 1:13:47 - Outro Jingles made by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-tire/ #corbinmaxey #wildtimespod

I'm excited. I'm very excited. For the second time in 100 years, the first time in our lifetime, a blank was spotted in California. Wow. Interesting. Wait, you're really excited. You're very excited. Well, I like this animal a lot.

And it's exciting to see it. Wild Time. Wild Time. Episode number 120, 120. I'd say hours, but it's way more than that of podcasting. With you guys, pretty good stuff. I'm your host, Forrest Galante, the broologist, joining me tonight, the one, the only, The Spiceman, Mr. Papa P himself, the producer.

What's going on, Papa Pee? What is up, my friend? How are you? Cheers. Oh, where's mine right here? I got my fat tire. I had some friends over last night till the wee hours of the morning. Good. And I went to get beer because one of the guys.

is a bodybuilder, but also a beer drinker. Okay. And I was like, he'll be into this carbon neutral thing. Like, somehow in my mind, that turned into low carb, which is insane. Yeah. But I drank about 100 of these last night, struggling a little bit today. Good for you. And you look like you might have some little bags under your eyes there.

Yeah, I've been sick for like all weekend. So, yeah, we'll get into that. I'll finish the intros in a second here. And the one, the only, the, PhD in podcasting, the professional, the professor. How are you, Peter? I'm good. I've been waiting for a while for this public pod.

I got something I want to talk about. It has to do with the fruit picker. Kyle, get prepared to pull up my Instagram. Is there a reason you're so, like, down right now? You can be down? Yeah. No, he's getting, no, he's getting ready to unleash. Oh, he's ramping out.

I know, I know. I've known. Like my energies down. You're just like you're coming in real soft and I'm wondering if you're just going to look at his eyes. His eyes. Yeah. Stunning.

Look at Peter's eyes. I'm really excited about this podcast. I wasn't lying. Okay. I'm like, what happened with the FP? The FP, the fruit picker. Yeah.

Yes. I got a new one. That's all. I got a new fruit picker. It's the exact same model. They've been out of it at Home Depot. I posted a little story about it. Had a lot of fun.

Picking fruit. Ah, you know, you know, I saw it earlier. Dude, look at that bunch of lemons. No squirrels on those way.

I think it's a blessing in disguise because these lemons are the best lemons that I've ever seen or tasted in my life. They're the size of a fucking cantaloupe. I'm real happy today and yeah, that's it. Do you think that your neighbor feels the, do you think that the neighbor feels the same way when she's poaching your lemons while you're sleeping with your.

Dude, no, but I did. It's so funny because once you, by the way, if you haven't heard the fruit picker story, like you should just leave the podcast right now. It's in like 14 episodes. So yeah, go back. But now every time I like look at that tree, it gives me like a bad taste in my mouth. And today I noticed that when they were trimming their tree that we had to force them to do, the company bent a few of my lemon branches over the wall.

so now that some of my lemons are hanging into their yard, I made a concerted effort to go and make sure that none of my fucking lemons are going to that, that house. All right. Well, I'm glad you got your lemons. The next time we come over,

you better have fresh lemonade for us. And I'm not thinking. Absolutely. Can we do something? Can I do something? Can we do something? Can we do something? Can I do something?

Yes, please. Can I do something? Yes, you child. All right. Can we do what's in the news? here we go here we go I'm excited

I'm very excited I'll tell you why I've got to say at least 50 Brosner sent this to me for the first time in one sorry for the second time

in 100 years the first time in our lifetime a blank was spotted in California before I say what it is why don't you guys take a crack at it Peter Patrick

this how recent How recent? Yesterday. Day before yesterday. I'm going to say a polite person. Spotted in L.A. Interesting. A good driver.

You got a few more of these. Wait, you're really excited. You're very excited. Well, I like this animal a lot. And it's exciting to see it. So I haven't seen it. I'm going to say a Rocky Mountain Wolf. Oh, good guess. Good guess.

I'm going to go Tasmanian devil. So, so close, of course. That would be really fascinating. Guys, for the second time in 100 years, a wolverine has been spotted in Northern California. Wow. Like the comic book guy or? All right, I'll stop. The animal?

That's a pretty big deal. This is a rare animal. Wolverines are not typically in the golden state. Department of Fish and Wildlife has confirmed that it's a legit. siding. Both sightings were in Inyo National Forest. Really? Yeah. Where's that? Up near Yosemite. Okay. Yep. Wow. It's pretty exciting. I think it's on the way. Yeah. Well, yeah. So what's the forest is really cool by the way? It's a really cool spot. Okay. So

what's the other time? They've been extinct from our state for for years or? I don't think, I don't think that I'd have to look this up. I don't think they were expatriated from California. I think it's just very rare for them to come this far south and this. far west. So just to have them in California is pretty, you know, they're a northern animal. They're a cold climate animal. And so to have them in Inyo around Yellowstone, the last one they found was up in Yosemite. Sorry, what did I say? Yelsohn, Tate. Tumity. Sick. It's okay. Too many fat tires. Yeah. The last one they found was up near Truckee, I don't know, five or eight years ago or something like that. And so, I don't know, pretty big deal.

Like a Wolverine in California. That's exciting. I mean, even just spotting a Wolverine in the wild, a known habitat where they live is very difficult. They're very, as for us, likes to say, cryptic, they hide. You don't see them a lot. There's not that many. No. Interesting. And they're cool. I didn't even know they were in the United States. I thought these were a

an animal that only was in Africa or something. I know you think it's funny, but there's probably a lot of people listen to the podcast. I think that's a good point. No, that's a good point. It actually is a good point, because people think it's like a honey badger. It's like something that lives in Africa and rips people to shreds in another part of the world. Let me ask you a quick question for us.

Yes. Wolverine versus Honey Badger. Hmm, Honey Badger. I think Wolverines are a lot bigger, though. I have to double check that. I think Wolverines are significant. Kyle,

Kyle, you know some facts on this. Let me tell you, and I'm not going to introduce him just yet, but our guest who's waiting backstage will certainly come on with a smug comment about this. Yeah, he will,

and you'll have all the facts. He's got a smug comment about everything. Not because he's already Googled it while we're sitting here and he's listening in, but because he actually knows the information. No, I'm fairly certain Wolverines are substantially larger than honey badgers, but riddle me this. Riddle me this. You're a Wolverine. You're pretty much at the top of the charts in Canada and Alaska where you hang out.

Nothing's going to fuck with you. Okay. You're a honey badger. You're distinctly smaller. You live in Africa. There are leopards. There are cobras. There are lions.

There are rhinos. You have to, you, it's, it's, this is a classic case of, you, you're, you're, it's, it's, it's, this is a classic case of not the size of the dog in the fight, the size of the fight in the dog. So I'm going on a badger. I'm saying that, that asshole, there's nobody's going to take on a honey badger.

He'll rip a wolverine to shreds. And let's see, should we see what our esteemed, uh, very own team guest things. Thanks, Kyle. I know they were way bigger.

I didn't know the exact stats. Dude, he went, Kyle just popped producer Kyle. Please come on the air. We need to have a talk. Yeah. So Kyle just said a sassy.

message in the chat. He's pissed off. Nope, no. Oh, he goes a capital word in here. So, so yeah, I put Wolverine way bigger. And the reason I did that was because when I googled how big a honey badger

was, all that popped up was centimeter measurements and I don't know how to convert those. So that's just small no matter what. It's in centimeters. It's not big. Yeah, it's in beat. It's big. That's right. Yeah. All right.

Thank you, Kyle. That was sassy. Forrest would like to meet with you after the show. We'll be having a talk. Now for our very own Honey Badger. Hey, guys, if you're enjoying... Whoops. Guys, if you like The Wild Times, check us out on Patreon.

We put out four extra podcasts per month. That's one commute a week that you're just going to be laughing and learning the whole time in the car. I'll do something else. This is the late night content and stuff that we can't show on YouTube because they'll kick us off you. It's the Cinemax of Podcasts. Uncensored, Raw Dog. It's the Cinemax of Podcasts. Check it out.

Link right here. Yeah, let's bring him on. We've got a big announcement, part two. Yep, let's do it. Hey, there he is. Yikes. What's up, buddy? I just, hey, I'm so grateful you didn't bring me in the Lemon Gate.

And, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to back the Wolverine and the snow and the honey badger in the dirt. I mean, I really is a question of where the fight, where the venue is, right? I think Wolverines aren't that much bigger. They're about maybe 5, 10 pounds bigger. Much bigger claws, though. And when you say

there's nothing much hassle of them in North America and Canada, I mean, no. I mean, you've got wolves, you've got Canadian links, you got a, you got moose, you know, occasional mountain lion. I think I like this match up. I like this matchup.

But this, this matchup, this is Lennox Lewis Tyson. It's a good, it's a good fight. They say that styles make fights, you know what I mean? And I was at Lennox Lewis Tyson, actually, in Memphis. And I'm telling you, I know Tyson lost that and he got knocked out. But he missed Lewis's chin by one of Kyle's centimeters, which is not a real measurement. I mean, he missed by like just a bees dick. It was nothing.

And the fight would have been over twice in the first round. connected, but in the end he got club. It was, it was awesome. But anyway, it's a pleasure to be back, gentlemen. Welcome. Good to see you, Forrest. Good to see the Luca. Yeah, buddy.

You're from Australia. No, I got to interrupt you because you're going to make funny. He's not from Australia. He's not, technically. I don't know what's up with you, Ritap. You do. You look like the before picture, one of those horny goat weed ads. By the way, look at BTGs like, look at BTGs like hipster lumberjack,

fresh off. You just pulled the tag off. That 30 seconds ago, son. He just started watching YouTube and was like, how to be cool in 2023 and threw this outfit together. He wrote, How to be relevant at 47. This is,

this is, that's, that's me. I'm just, I am, I am just born again millennial. I'm, actually,

that's not even, it's just, I just reek of Gen Zena. So this, this, these fresh threads, this, this gorgeous gingham,

this is actually one of my costume shirts from, the live action part of Adventure Beast, the little things we did at the end, and I'm being so lazy and so cheap, instead of getting my dry cleaning, I'm just taking wardrobe out of the box. Hey, Kyle, do me a favor. I got to interrupt for a second here.

I got to interrupt for a second here. If you're listening to this, go to the YouTube right now. Kyle, pull up a picture. You're going to know the picture immediately. Google men over 30 in skinny jeans, and I'm certain it'll be the first picture that pops up. It'll be a big.

Every time I see this picture, I think of our esteemed buddy BTG. Stand up, BTG. Let's get a drum roll. Let me see what kind of pants you got on under there. I'm wearing shorts. Yeah, there he is. Look at that. Tell me that is a BGGG right there.

Dude, I wish I had that tight ass. Look at those legs. Look at that. That's what my baby, my brand new baby's butt looks like. That is my profile. That's what my adult is. I mean, that ass is, that is tight. That is Victoria's secret for men.

If you're only listening to the podcast, you should probably come and look at what the fuck we're talking about. So VTG is wearing a shirt that's called Buffalo Check. I have several quilts and Afghans that I bust out at Christmas time of that, of that decoration. He doesn't have an Afghan. Yeah. Good point. I don't know. I don't know what an Afghan is a scoff, right?

It's like a Pashtain. No, an Afghan is just enough. other word for blanket that makes it sound fancy, I think. Oh, is it? Unless I've been using your own skinny jeans. I don't do. Okay. Yeah.

No. Let me ask you a question. Please. So we used to, we, my entire group of friends used to call Peter cheap jeans. That was his nickname because he, long after jeans were getting more tapered, um, Peter was still wearing very, very cheap sort of loose fitting jeans. Yeah. Um, I could see that.

I'm not one to buy new jeans. I was frugal at the time. What about now? Remember he was eating those free KFC vouches and sharing them a social currency? I mean, I almost got fired from my job. It's a store subject. All right. So do, does anyone here have a pair of jeans where they'll wear them if they're like going out to dinner with their wife,

but they won't wear them around like guy friends? Oh, yeah. You're a little too skinny. Yeah, you're fashionable. Yeah. I have a pair of off white jeans. and I can't believe I own. Off white, man.

Off white. And I've only ever worn them to lunch events with my wife. True story. With like a metal studded belt and a chain wallet. Dude, that must show some serious cock bulge though. Yeah. I mean, that's the point. You know, I'm on show.

I know it. She's flaunting me. I got to play the pot, you know. You got your fake dick underwear. Yeah. All right. I got my rubber rotepe on. that's right.

The white is called for a tap. I don't know what it. I don't know what that's about. I love that Forrest is now the one who's trying to keep the show on the rails. Like normally it's me who's stressed out and I'm thinking about things too much. It's Forrest right now. This is what happens when you get a beer sponsor and your guest is huffed up on pills. This is true.

This is true. What is that giant thing of pills you have that? I hope they're hydrocodone. Uh, you know what? I do have hydrocodone, but I save that for special. coming over tomorrow. A white jeans time. No, it is just ibuprofen.

My back is fucked five ways. So I'm just popping these puppies like tic-tacks. And you know what? It's what I needed to get here tonight. Yeah, hold on. And before I segue, hold on, hold on. Before I segue us out of this. So there's an announcement coming.

We'll get to that in a moment. It's exciting. There's a reason BTG is here on here tonight. But halfway through BTG preparing for said announcement, he sends a text to our group thread that goes, sorry guys, broke my back, going to be out for a couple weeks. Would you care to elaborate just a hair on that?

I mean, that's what? Well, first of all, I immediately texted everybody on the side, and I was like, he's trying to bail. Full of shit. Bullshit. This is utter nonsense. Look, it's a stupid story.

I picked up a large heavy box out of the garage. It was starting to split. You know, those big cardboard moving boxes, sort of three feet by three feet by three feet. And they're just difficult, they're slippery and dusty. And this thing's splitting. I'm like, oh, don't. Were you wearing the white pants?

Tripped over my baby gym set, went down. And I was next to my wife's car. And I didn't want to smash in the side of my wife's car. So I sort of twisted and I fell backwards over some gym equipment on to the concrete and didn't let go of the box. And so I crushed three discs in my back and got some pretty heavy nerve damage. And so the pain was, you know, and I know what pain is, it was. it was it was just an absolute game over pain and because and and i was having trouble moving my left foot and i just thought holy shit i've really done my spinal cord here and once i ascertained that

it wasn't fully broken there was you know i was okay it was just jolts of a pain like sciatica but just dialed up to 11 i'm such an idiot i'm like you know what i'll walk it off and so i started of course every man around the block and I got about not even a quarter mile and I'm like I got to sit down and then I said that's worse that's worse and so and so the only the only the only way it fell better was to lie in like the fetal position like a bruised banana on my side on someone else's lawn and finally I just kind struggled home and when my wife came back I'm lying flat on the ground with my feet on the coffee table just trying to work it out anyway we went in for the x-rays the MRI and found out I'd done a fair bit of damage.

The good news is that's some two months ago now. I am 80%, 90% better. And, you know, back to doing a lot of things. Tons of rehab, tons of physio, ejections in the spine. Jesus Christ. And that's going to be ongoing. This is essentially what you have to look forward to is that you will also trip over a toddler's play set and have your catastrophic injury.

When you don't have that young, supple, 35-year-old body anymore. I do indeed. And it's also, it's inevitable for those of us that put themselves in harm's way and barely escape by the skin of their teeth constantly that you have to hurt yourself doing something very mundane. Isn't that the truth of it though? We do all this crazy stuff. And yeah, you know, I have a nipple ripped off by a reindeer. But the rest of it's just boring stuff. You know, it's just that little slip and then all of a sudden your knees face in the wrong way. And you're like, you're holding you're holding two soft serve ice cream cones. And you're like, how does this happen? Yeah, especially when you, as old as you are. I mean, the whole setup to the, to the, everything that you were explaining before the serious injury was like the setup for the beginning of like a romantic comedy movie. Oh, my God. Yeah.

That's true. That's right. Cute mate. Yeah. They call it a hashtag cute mate. It's called a meat cute. Meets cute. Yeah.

Who the hell knows that? I'm disappointed. Just because you're from the southern hemisphere doesn't mean you reverse a meat cute. son. All right. So, BTG, when I think of Australia,

I think of a lot of things. One is silly people, funny accents. Another one is Australians learn from their mistakes and have become good conservationists. That's what I think. Interesting.

I could be wrong. That's just the impression that I get, right? I love to you get that impression. I mean, you could make that argument about some parts of the U.S., for example. I would say the whole of the U.S. I would say the U.S. in general has been like, wow, we really fucked up. Like we eliminated our bison and we nearly crashed all of our fisheries.

And now we have pretty strict regulations around all of those species. So, yeah, I mean, I agree. But continue. I think that, yeah, I think you give yourself a lot of praise there. I'm going to back that compliment down to like a seven. And emphasize the sum of America. I think that's definitely true. But what I think they have in common is a shift of,

Basically, back in the 19th century, if you had a ton of money and you love wild places and wild things, you would get together an expedition on a ship and go shoot something or film it or later on you film it. You take photographs, you paint it, you know, you'd go and that. Now, with much of the world, has been obviously at least discovered, if not studied. Now what's happening in the U.S. and Australia and other affluent nations is people get a bunch of money and then they buy and rewild. habitat, and that's happening a lot more in the U.S.

I mean, you want to talk about Bison. I mean, if it wasn't for Ted Turner's billions, I mean, who would have thought watching the Atlanta Braves would pay for anything? And then that's what happened with CNN and the TNT and all these things. And then, and that's happening in Australia, too. We're doing a lot more of that. But I will say this, this is what gives me a heart. You talk about some of the recent events in Alaska, trying to drill near salmon hatcheries

and a whole bunch of different things. and concern citizen groups unifying indigenous peoples, fishermen, you know, other industries, tourism, they get together and fight against what would destroy the habitat. And I think Australia has done that as well, but we are not perfect. I mean, where I come from in Tasmania, which I think is heaven on earth, we have those filthy salmon farms off the coast that destroy. I thought you were going to say Tasmanians. I thought you were going to say we have those filthy Tasmanians just running around ruining the place.

We are pungent. We are pungent. We are not filthy and there is a difference and you fucking know it. Yeah, well, we're all human when we all suck. So given that my general feelings towards Australia is like, wow, they're sort of forefront of conservation now. You can imagine my shock when I read a headline today, which says conservationists welcome Gilnet fishing ban in the Great Barrier Reef World Heritage Site. As in they've been gill netting in the Great Barrier Reef World Heritage Site up until now. And we'll continue to, by the way, until 2007. The ban is to take place by 2027. That's the Great Barrier Reef.

Which part of the Great Barrier Reef? Which part of it? Because it's huge. It's bigger than most countries. Where is it? Yeah, I mean, I know there are net free. I don't, I mean, look, I know it's in Queensland. I know there are net free zones. I haven't looked at a map of it. But I was just shocked.

I mean, I can, look, that shocks me as well. I've, like, I've spent a lot of time up there, dived a lot of it, sailed all through it from the bottom to the top. So that does surprise me because I've never seen a fishing boat there any time I've been there. So I don't really know what that means. I wonder if it was a, has it had anything to do with indigenous fishermen or the Northern Third, says Kyle, Gulf of Carpentaria. Ah, okay, that makes more sense.

So in the north, we share the fishing waters with a number of our northern partners. from Indonesia and Papua New Guinea. It's a difficult and tense area. A lot of indigenous fishing rights there. The Gulf of Carpentaria is probably, in my opinion, what you would call shrimp and I would call prawn, the best fishery for shrimp and prawn on the planet. Huge protected bay, warm waters.

I mean, these banana shrimp get up to over 12 inches long, not scampy, just shrimp. And it's the most delicious, great fishing through. I've caught incredible giant travalli. up there. It's terrific place to fishing. Now, I know that they have those monstrous factory ships for the

shrimping. I know that that's there. So Forest Gump, you know, gone steroids is what they have up there. I don't know how this is relevant to that, but that would be a trawler. This is talking about gill net specifically. Yeah, which you run out behind a well, isn't that a similar thing, but on a smaller scale?

No, not typically. So gill net, gill netting usually is where you set a large, long, net and whatever swims into it gets stuck. Whereas trawler, on the on the on the buoys exactly. Whereas a trawler, you know, put a big net out, drag it and scoop it up. Yeah. You set. You set and forget the gill net. Yeah. Exactly. So Kyle pulled up a picture here so you can clearly see. I didn't know anyone in the first world was doing any developed country was doing that. I was shocked. But also I want to go back to something

here. And I think this is an important thing to talk about for a moment, which is the whole well you know it's tragedy of the commons right oh well the gulf of carpenterea is shared waters between us and two other nations well we're not going to stop fishing it because they're not going to stop fishing it right that's that's the mentality behind those things that's tragedy of the common i don't yeah like yeah like like uh like common emissions you know yeah oh i mean you can with a zillion different things but yeah i mean at least at least Australia, assuming that those other nations do not have the same legislation in place, which I highly, highly doubt if it's in Indonesia, Popula, Osama.

No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Then at least Australia is making a stand in the right direction there. So I don't know, I was just shocked. Maybe that's the real value of this. The real value of this is the public declaration that this form of fishing is off the table. But, you know, look, I'm all for trumpeting the great victories of conservation. the summit hemisphere, many of which are originated or run by my fellow Australians.

But I would say, I'm often shocked that certain things are happening. You were just out at Ninguloo, right? Not that long ago. Yeah, yeah, like about a month ago. Did you see the damage of some of the trawlers that have come through and just ripped apart those coral beds and all these giant fan carols? The biggest I've seen on the planet, call me a liar, biggest golf ball coral, the biggest fan carls I've ever seen.

I've seen on the west coast of Western Australia, Ninguloo and the Mirian Islands. And then you get these parts that just look like someone who's dragged a giant rake across the ground and guess what? That's exactly what happened. And so we are guilty of doing that. But I think that the larger takeaway is

that it only takes one or two of these industrial-sized fishing enterprises to destroy an ecosystem for a very long time. You can unfuck it, but it takes a lot of money a lot of will and a lot of patience. And a lot of good people who are fucking shitty. And that's getting done, but it's so much more effort to fix something that was damaged than it is to just,

just, you know what, we'll make one more sweep on the reef, see what we get, and boom, you've crushed a habitat for, you know, 20 million species. Yeah. And, yeah, I, so to answer your question, I didn't see them, but everybody, do you know Jake Wilton?

He's a very well-known underwater photographer from that part of the world. He's a buddy of mine. But no, I don't know him personally, though. Yeah, so he was telling me all about it. So, yeah, I haven't seen it. He showed me some pictures. I do think that they're interesting. So we were in Carl Bay and then in X-Mouth.

And Carl Bay is like, it's like one of these little hippie-dippy towns where everybody, like, wants to save the dolphins. And I mean this in a very positive light. but it's like, you know, it's like everybody's like, oh, let's save the dolphins. You know, they're like all these like iffy weird. That's exactly how we sound. It is. Yeah, it is. And but, you know, in a good way.

So it had this whole like vibe and aura of conservation in that town and not like a consumptive thing. And it almost had a feeling of imbalance where it's like, oh, well, they're not talking about. Maybe it was just the people that we were working with. But it was like, oh, they're not talking about the reality of like what's actually going on. Instead, they're doing the whole, like, you know, going too far overboard to try and promote the conservation, if you know what I mean, where it's like it's so far beyond it. Yeah, it sounds disingenuous.

It doesn't, yeah, it doesn't sound plausible, doesn't sound real. Yeah, it's interesting because some of the best, some of the best projects I've ever seen were run by farmers, you know, who just had a passion for wildlife. They love where they live. They felt accountable for some of the things that they were part of that it damaged the environment. and they want to be part of the solution. They set aside part of their property to rewild. They'd also fenced off areas for soft release for native birds and small mammals that have been wiped out by feral cats and foxes. Yeah, you don't have to be a hippie-dippy to get into it, obviously.

Look at us. What a pack. I mean, seriously, how many assholes can you put in true religion genes? I don't know. At least four, based on what I'm seeing now. Those haven't been relevant. Hippie-dip or hipster dupisc. All right.

I want to play a game, guys. I want to play a game. Ooh, I love Pat's games. What do you got for us today? Papa Pee-P? Well, I mailed each of you. You got your FedEx, right? I missed each of you on Monopoly board.

We're going to just do like a four or five-hour game. I'm in the top hat. We're playing a new game. Okay. Not new. We just haven't done in a while. Factor fiction. Ooh.

We got a tweet the other day. People want one fact or fiction. Okay. So this was made by our producer that's not, Kyle. I am going to host the game, Billy. Yeah. Because I'm the best host here.

Billy, the anti-AI. Even though Forrest and BTG have done hundreds of hours of television, I am the host. I'm in a test two sort of wildlife biologists adjacent type guys and a moron. Yo, come on now. I'm not a more on. Oh, sorry. You outed yourself by saying that. So, now you're the double moron.

Also, don't rebut yourself by going, yo. No. That's not like if you don't. I'm a fucking funny guy. Moron. Don't be like, yo, that's,

yo, I'm the funny guy. The first way to paint yourself some more. Ah, F off. All right. So what we're going to do is we're going to just list some things that are, maybe they're,

uh, you know, old wives tales, things that aren't really true. Maybe they are. Maybe they are. I don't know. Okay.

Quick. Old wives tales. And I, and I will keep score. All right. Order. Order. Order of response.

We're going to go. Peter first every time. Good. BTG. Loveling. Then Forest. Great. Very good.

Okay. Okay. Be quick on my feet. Factor fiction. Owls can rotate their heads 360 degrees. No, that's fiction. It would be 180 and then back.

There would be no reason for them evolutionarily to be, have to go all the way around. BTG. One sentence at most. It's funny because it's true. That's why we gave you your own show. I love it. Vision-wise, yes.

Vision-wise, they can see 160 by turning their head. Actual rotation of their head is just short of 360. It's about 340. Forrest. Will you be thrown off by BTG? His confidence. He added numbers in there. No, I'm just going to play the game.

The way the game goes to be played. It's the cologne that gives me the comment. It's my sex pants. That's true. Fiction in the shirt. Fixed shone. A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance. That is, uh, for some reason, I feel like I've heard this before.

I got to go fact on that one. B.T. Yeah. I'm with you. That's fact. Although it was up to me. I would call them a Liberacee. You've just alienated one fan.

Yep. That is three for facts. I mean, what are you cooking out? It's like all that kind of movement and the, and it's like, you kidding me? You didn't see Liberace

play live on television? It's a Librarci. We're in our 30s. Liberacees, what was that? Like when I love Lucy was on the air? My mom love Liberace. I was a little.

kid and he came on, we would watch it. Yeah, I could tell. Number three, penguins, mate for life. Oh, gosh. Oh, my turn. I'm going to say, I'm going to say yes. I mean, I'm pretty sure I've watched a documentary. This is a, they definitely like go out while the woman stays home and protects the egg and

leave for like two weeks and come back. So I'm going to say yes. Yeah, as it should be, right, Peter? What do you do? They're fucking Liberacee Penguins. Did you watch that new Netflix show, Penguin Fuck? Yeah. I don't think Netflix has a show with the word fuck in the title.

Okay, well, I'll tell you. Yeah, they do. Don't fuck with cats. That's a Netflix show. That's true. It's true. The U was asterix, though. The, uh, BB.

So I'm going to say, the point of what you're saying, in terms of the vagary of this question, I'm going to say it's, yes, it's a fact generally. However, they are unfaithful as fuck. And a number of female penguins in particular will have sex just to get a stone to add to the nest. They'll go around and have sex with all of miles, get their stones, build this beautiful nest. But in terms of do they pair up? Wait, like an actual stone, a rock? Yeah, because there's no sand in Antarctica.

Wow. That is down low. Crushed pummelstone and so forth. So, yeah, I've been down there, watched him do it. penguins be banging and the males are just as bad I remember

and we put this in Adventure Beast I saw this myself male penguins will have sex with a dead female's corpse Oh! Yeah, I hate penguins now.

Yeah, it's awful. Are dead? Why are dead? There's no evolutionary advantage to it. Because you get all that because I'm not sure if that was factor fiction.

No, I have, I've recorded my score. Yes, I've recorded my score. That was the most interesting thing I've heard on this podcast in 100 episodes. Agreed. There's no external genitalia and they see the ass in the air and they think she's up for it. She's presenting and there'll be a conga line of rapist. Come and have a shot of the title.

Penguins are astonishing. Congoline of rapists. I'm not going to make a joke about that because we'll get canceled, but I really want to. I'm just going to say fiction. I thought it was seasonal, but anyway, for me. All right, all right, all right. Here we go.

Next one. Cualas are bears, Peter. Dude, come on. They're called koala bears, so this has to be fiction. BTG. It is fiction. It is fiction. Forrest.

Well, what am I supposed to say fact just to break it up? Now, it's three fictions. This is Bill. Billy who did this. Billy's your guy. He is my guy. You say what you think. Hey, I like these.

These are interesting. They are interesting. I will give them that. Sometimes learning something obvious is fun. Like, I just learned today that the ABC song. ABCD. It's the same tune as twinkled with a little talk.

Oh, yeah. And Mary had a little. I had no idea. I had no fucking clue. All right. I don't know either. Cheetahs can reach speeds of 70 miles per hour. True or false? Is that just one of those things you've heard, or is it actually true?

And they can't. Fiction. I'm going to say more near 50 miles an hour. I think Retepe is more accurate. Seventy is recorded in a number of sources. So according to your question, yeah, the answer would be fact. However, I have never seen a cheetah do it. And I've been to a lot of cheater runs. So high five. Hi five. Thank you, buddy. I'm going fact. They're very fast, very fast animal. Have you seen one for us? You've ever seen one wrong? I've seen him at full speed. I've seen him take down Impala.

I didn't have a little police, you know, like, do-do-do-do-do. A baseball gun on them. First, I've clocked you at 68, so if they were running faster than you. Yeah. When you chase the sheep. This must have been free jungle potato.

What? Naked and afraid. All right. Is this true or false guys? Fact or fiction. Elephants cannot jump. They simply cannot jump. Wow.

You know, this is interesting and funny because I actually can't jump. I have an elephant. I'm the size of an elephant. I pose this question to Forrest in one of our bonus podcasts when you had to go do a meeting or some bullshit outside and we made fun of you. And then this was one of the questions I posed. And I still don't fucking know. So I'm going to say, I'm going to say fact, even though I think it's fiction. Okay.

I'm going to say fact too. Never, never seen it ever. I've seen rhinos go so fast that briefly for a split second, all four feet were off the ground at full gallop. Never seen an elephant do that. Not a conventional jump. No, that's a fact. That would technically be a jump, right?

All four feet are up. That's a jump. You got to be fully everyone, right? For even a split second. Yeah, no. Elephant had definitely go on their back too, but they never all fours off. I've seen BTG.

I've known BTG for probably 10 years, never seen him jump. There you go. Valid point. Valid point. Next time we hang out in person, I'd like a little jump, please. All right. You can have to stand on like a footstool so you can see me do it. I would see your legs right now.

This is a fact. Elephants cannot jump. Look at those legs. Look at those legs. All right. We're in jeans of a crime when you have legs that pretty. this next this next one is i believe is very interesting giraffes giraffes as forest might say

have the same number of neck bones as a human nah that's that's fiction it's ludicrous and that's a fact nah it's not forest if it's african animals i'm probably i probably know them so yeah fact on that one yeah it's one of the great anomalies you think they count possible with all that neck real estate and yet

Yeah. A lot of room for cool tats. All right. Last one. Is this a fact or is this just an old wife's tale that we've heard through the years? Honeybees die after they sting. Wow. That's a tough one because I want to say that this is, you're very specific about the type of bee.

And I think that that makes it a fact. because I love honeybees and God would do anything to hurt me. So they die after one sting. It's good that you know that. It's good that you know that he's come to terms. Yeah, I respect that. Well, see, not all bees have stings, retem. So we have to name a stinging bee, number one.

That's true. That I wouldn't know, though. It is a fact. It's the sting, the bobbedded, and it rips out a lot of the viscera of the bees' abdomen. them, but it's even worse for the drones because the singer is also their dick, and after they have sense with the queen in midair, his dick and generals explode to block her gentle opening to other bees don't copulate with her.

So yeah, fact and what a way to go. Holy shit. I think BDG said it all. Yeah. What is making that up? There's a benefit to going last in this case. You've got a shock mind if you're making that up. All right.

No, so it's legit. It's legit. I mean, talk about smoking off to sex. I mean, your dick just blew off. You know a lot about animal sex. All right. You're welcome. Last one.

And there, I'm just going to say this. Someone's in the lead. Someone's one behind. There's an opportunity to tie and go to a tie break if this works out the right way. Wow. Here we go. Get ready for this. I'm ready.

Bats are blind. You know. that's blind. The whole alliteration thing is one thing, but... That's a big part of it. I mean, it's definitely like something that unless you specifically remember from the science class, what they said, you would say, yes, they're blind. So therefore, I'm going to go, no, they are not fully 100% blind.

Okay. B? No, I mean, no, no matter how you regard blindness in this context. they're not. Frust. Worst literally thinks they're blind. I'm convinced they're blind, just for the sake of a tiebreaker.

They're actually blind. Oh, he went for the tiebreak. And he got it. You're saying that Al's can do 360? He's actually keeping telling. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on, BTG. So he's, I assume, what I was saying was, I was assuming that you and I were,

point differential. Sure, sure, sure, sure. And that I had to guess the opposite of you in order to either drastically lose to win that differential. Yeah. Forest purposely tanking like a cocky. Let's go. Oh, so he would have won.

I get it. Yeah, BTG and Forest tie with eight, Peter gets six quick answers, quick, quick, quick. Owls can rotate their heads 360 degrees. It was written as fact. I gave, no, no, it's written as fact. BTG, you were docked to point. Oh, see, so there could be an argument. No, fuck that.

This is right. A group of flamingos is comment if you disagree. Is indeed called a flamboyance. Penguins mate for life is fiction. So BTG did get the point because he knew the whole story behind it and why it was called fiction. Quarales are not bears. Cheetahs can reach speeds of 70 miles per hour.

Is that recorded? Yep, recorded fact. Bats are not blind. Elephants cannot jump. Giraffes do have the same amount of neck bones as a human. And honeybees do, in fact, die after they sting. So we've got a tie break here. And can we use Retap as like,

ask a friend like phone or friend we can ask you. Yes. Yes. Please. No typing, Retep. No typing. Okay. All right.

I'm going to Google something because the one on here is not good enough. But I just want to put out there and listen, you know, I know I'm not as smart as everybody here on this panel except for Pat. But I will say that I had to answer first in every single. That's true. Under the threat of being yelled at for going too slow. So just remember that. As valid, that's valid.

So here's what we're going to do. We're going to, we're going to take a look at bite force. We're going to go back to the well. Classic, classic. Yeah. I'm going to do some quick math, and it's going to be whoever gets closer. And you're going to submit your answer in the chat. Oh, in the chat?

Yeah. So how many times more bite force does a hippo have than a human, right? So if a human bites your finger and then a hippo bites your finger, how many times harder will the hippo bite your finger? Wow. And do you want to phone a friend? By the way, I just realized everyone can see the chat. So Forrest, go ahead and announce your answer. 22 times. I didn't know why the chat, but I was. like, yeah, whatever. 22 times is my guess. Nobody phoned a friend. Why don't you even bring it up? Dicks.

Sorry. Peter, what do you think, buddy? That's fine. I would have said 22 or 40, so I don't know. BTG says 40. I'm going to, yeah, because I'm, I'm guessing that humans top out at what, somewhere to 60 to 80. No way. See, that I know is wrong.

What is it? It's over 100 for sure. Oh, is it? average is 70 Oh, 70 hundred So I'm not I'm not completely out of the pot So I'm going to say that's

Because remember the bite force For big animals is arbitrary Because you get them to bite on a On a pressure gauge And it's like They're not biting as hard as they can So you've got to guessing a little bit Yeah I was assuming

That it was going to be Something there About 4 or 5,000 You're saying Yeah you're saying 40 times Peter says 22 The winner

Is our guests a new member of the wild times crew BTG 180 times wow that's a lot of time

so what is the PSI of the human bite force it depends on the source but anywhere from 70 to like 120 yeah I remember biting down on a pressure gauge and then what USC and it was like and I bit pretty hard

but not as hard as I could and it was around 60 and I thought you know if I really really put my put my put my jaw into it. I could go a little more, but it wasn't that much.

You're going to break your fucking teeth. Whereas a hippo we're looking at 12,000. Oh, that's a big, ludicrous. That's a big number I would normally accept. I would say that's a very inflated number.

Well, let me just say, I mean, congratulations BTG. I do want to say to any Brosner's listening to this podcast, if you disagree with the results or any of the questions, if you want to fact check it, just to be disagree with us in the comments.

If you want to support anybody else, maybe the winner, the not winner, somebody who wasn't even included in the final two, feel free to support them in the comments and argue for why a human bite force is between 120 and 160 PSI. All right. I think, I think we've buried the lead here for 47 minutes for, yeah.

I love it. I said if BTG comes on the podcast, none of us will get a word in edgewise anyways. No, he can let us get in plenty of words. I'll do it, but I will. I love it. I'll make the announcement. but I will preface it by saying this.

Hey, Brusters, thank you for being loyal subscribers. We appreciate everything that you do. And now we have a membership offer for you. I think you can get ad-free episodes, I heard. That's pretty big. Ad-free's big, but you can also get your comments looked at so we don't have to sift through the millions. How do you do that?

Is there some sort of badge system? There's a badge system, a loyalty badge. Boom! Shows up next to your name in the comments. Boom. We read the comment. All this badge talks make, I'm going to the badge store. He's going to get a badger.

He's going to buy one. He's going to buy one. He did a fake leave. I assumed Kyle would know to cut on the motion. All right. Let's cut now. That's that's our ad. Before we jumped on, we're like, all right, let's open the show, chat for a few minutes,

have BTG on for five minutes to talk about his big announcement and then continue with the show. We've been on for 48 minutes and 12 seconds. It's funny. We're starting right now. You promised me. a Royal. And we haven't done shit. That's true.

Let me before you even do the announcer, before the podcast started, minute 55 you can make the announcement. Before the podcast started. He's going alien. We got to get this podcast done for the broosters. Like we're doing six a month. Like,

Boris is busy. Everybody's busy. We're pulling this together. Forrest is sick. And so he's like, he's got diarrhea. He's wearing true religion jeans. It's just a desire to wedding.

I was trying to figure this out. And everybody's like, let's just get through. the podcast as fast as possible. BTG comes on here. We are 50 minutes later. Still on. I regret nothing. I've had a good time. Patrick is leaving. Bye, bye. He doesn't want to be here for the announcement. No, he's going to get a new beer. All right.

In the fridge. Here we go. This is a big deal. All right. It's huge. So a huge thing. We've been excited about this for many months. It started months ago before BTG had his, his play set accident. And, uh, drum roll, please. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Bradley Trevor Greve will be the new and everlasting host of his very own podcast on the wild time. There it is. God, that was bad.

Thank you. That's great. Thank you. You know, tell us about it. I, I'm glad you was first. And, you know, I just want to appreciate the support. So when I smash my back, I just go, you lazy prick, you just doesn't want to do this show. That's the kind of love and support that gets you out of bed in the morning.

I have been looking forward to doing this for a long time. I want to thank Wild Times for getting me to do it. New podcasts, coming out on YouTube on June 20 and all the other platforms, June 20th. So enjoy you, June 10th long weekend. Yeah, baby. I will help ease you back into real life. Semi-indestructible is the name of the pod. And it contains all the stuff that we love talking about,

slightly different tag with some in-depth interviews with some great people. All the members of this podcast, obviously, Pat, Forrest, Retep, all going to be there. Billy Armand, who was my co-host on Little Giants, Evan Knowneck Nelson and talk about Strength and Pain. Lots of great friends coming in and talk about issues in-depth. It's a lot of fun. Look, it starts with the basis of everything. I believe. The testicle shredding terror minus death equals adventure. How do we do it?

I was the guest for that one. How do we survive it? It's going to be a lot of fun. And I just can't wait for June 20th to come around. Yeah. So go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah. So there's the logo right there. Are we going to, we might show you a little bit of a teaser for it, but it's going to be airing opposite every Monday that the Wild Times air so that you have something to something to fucking sink your teeth. deep as to every single week. I'm the XFL. For now. That's funny. Listen, we get the number one comment that I read on the very rare occasions that I actually read comments is you guys are so fucking inconsistent.

I wish you were more podcasts. You never release it. The number two comment that I get is more BTG. We got to have BPD. Get rid of that long-haired weird guy and add BTG. Hey, that's not true, but. So this is a combination of those two comments, which is more BTG, more content. Tell us a little bit more.

I know they're in-depth podcast, BTG, but tell us about the topics, the subject matter. You know, you're taking a different approach. It's not just three guys bantering, drink the fat tire. Tell us about your approach to the podcast. Which I love, but I think the way you guys drink fat tire and banter, you need a week off. And so I come in sober up, maybe a few pills. that's legal. I'm coming over.

And I bring in, I bring in interesting people to talk about things we don't talk about. And I know that Retep and I snuck off into a cupboard Boris Beka style and had a little chat.

Yeah. It was nice. You know, we did. We covered some stuff. You think you know Retep, you don't know Reteb. That's the thing about it. It's deeper.

Some of his, some of his life experiences, I found surprisingly moving, actually. And I've always liked Retep. I think everyone does. But. Very likable.

Everybody on this podcast that we bring in and guests like myself, we've all done a lot of different things, but we never get time to talk about them in depth. So, for example, one of my guests is Ian Rekio. Ian Rekio is the worldwide leader on Varanids, okay? These are these giant goannas and monitors, Komodo dragons, et cetera. And he was at the center of the world debate on whether or not Komodo dragons are venomous. and there's a whole movement using this, you know, x-ray and crystallography and so forth to see that these now somewhat redundant saliva glands were once functional as venom glands. So it's this really fascinating study that's going on.

He's done some tests that completely refute that, and it's really interesting. And he also knows more about, you know, I mean, think about North America from a state point of view, and it is basically pit viper heaven. And he is the pit viper expert. He is the guy. And he does it all around the world. He's in Europe and projects. He's all through North America.

He spends a lot of time in Africa and Southeast Asia. So it's having, he is the most respected herpetological curator west of the Mississippi. He's the man. And I'm very glad to have him as a longtime friend. He was a consultant on Little Giants. But he and I go way back when the former curator of LA Zoo, Mike D, my dear friend who passed away a few years ago, he introduced us. we've been friends ever since and a great resource for me and my real world expeditions.

So to have him come in and just talk sharp and answer the kind of questions that snake nerds like us have, I mean, that's like you're answering to a higher power. And plus, he's just a lot of fun. He's a fun guy. So we're going to have talent like that. And we're going to just basically get all the questions out. We've wanted to ask, find out about people. Will you do any shirtless pods?

And people want to know. It's what the people want. All of them. It's what the people want. Well, I will say, this is Velcro. I can just. I've spent many, many in an evening in Juneau, Alaska drinking craft beer with BTG. I've had lunch with him many times.

We've had sleepovers, quite frankly. We've brunch. We've had big brunches. We're not ashamed of it. If there's anyone in the world who needs a podcast, it's this guy. And if there's anyone in the world who just is too. technologically stupid to figure it out on his own. It's this guy.

And so Peter and Kyle offered to figure it out for him. It's, dude, the one that we did, I was like, this is great. Like, I'm going to listen to this in the car. And I think that the core, you know, Wild Times crew is going to fucking love this podcast. Oh, absolutely. I hope so. I hope so. And I'm looking forward to the questions.

We already got some. We've leaked a few things here. were there. People would be sending me questions and prompts for what they want to talk about here. Nice. I mean, loving it. And I apologize for being so stupid with tech. I mean, Discord. I probably joined and set up five profiles because I can't remember how to log back in. But so, you know, keep them coming. And I think I'm going to save some episodes just to answer. There's some, a lot of people out there that listen to Wild Times who know a lot about niche subjects and have questions. that we can perhaps help them answer. So I'm hoping to spend a lot of time interacting more directly with the fans. But I have to say, just from a pure knowledge porn point of view,

being able to drag friends out and just ring all the knowledge and the great stories out of them. You know, I had a guy on today, Evan Nelson. I was there when he saved a man's life. Like the guy died next to us in the gym, just dropped dead and turned blue. and we stopped the workout. Obviously, I finished my set, and then we stopped the workout. Obviously. And he went over there with the paddles, and he brought this man back to life.

And then we had an energy drink, and then we kept working out. High five. Yeah, right. It's just like this out disasters, and we got back into it. PGG, where can people, I love the approach that you're taking, by the way. Where can people send you their in-depth sort of niche questions, things that you just kind of Google and get an instant eye. What, where would people send those questions? I'll put it up on screen.

The platform that I probably check the most is Instagram. My handles here. It's at Tasmanian underscore, underscore, underscore, Grisley. Underscore. Underscore. He's definitely on Vicodin. I'm not, it's prescription. At Tasmanian underscore Grizzly.

That's probably the best place to do it. But also, you know, as you do every week, every two weeks, you put those comments under the YouTube, particularly with Wild Times. I'll get it. And I'll have a look at it. But don't be afraid to push the boundaries. It's a legit question. If you've got an expedition you're planning for, let's be honest.

It's not just me you're speaking to. I'll reach out to my friends and colleagues and these clowns. And I just, like I do in real life. You know, I had a problem in Madagascar. I just called Pat and said, I fixers a fuck with who you got. And Pat was actually leaving as we were coming in. gave me a name and within 12 hours I had that person on the ground.

We help each other all the time, help each other out all the time. So, you know, if you have a question about anything to do a lot of life on place, throw his home address up there and his phone number. Send him, send him, make sure the area codes in it. Send him it's mail mail.

But yeah, put up, well, dude, put up Retep's swatting address. We are, we are really excited. It's very, very good. Yeah. It's a really good show.

I think people are going to like listening. I think they're going to like watching, see your face. Really? Wouldn't kill you to get a spray tan, but... But the funniest thing you've ever said on the plot. But here, I want to do something quickly here. Yes, please.

It's not even going to be that quick, but I want to do it. Is it a bad? You know what time it is? Sorry, I didn't know what time is. It's time. It's time. All right. BTG came up with this.

I'm adding one caveat. Okay. Always got to make it harder for a tip. Yeah. I'm going to lose this one. All right, here we go. You are building a creature. They are going to do battle in freshwater.

Oh. So you must choose elements from three freshwater animals to just fight till death, man. That's it. Love it. Your life depends on it. Love it. They're protecting you. Okay.

But here's what you're going to do. You're going to pick a. body and the animal's going to scale to the size of that body. Oh. You're going to pick a head. You know what comes with the head? The teeth, the venom. I don't know.

Everything. Everything that's in the head. And you're going to pick no limbs. You're going to pick a power, a special ability. Got it. Got it. Okay. Of one.

And all three have to be freshwater animals. And the battle is happening in the river in Oswego, New York. York, the town that I'm from. Okay. So there's a lot of piss and shit and beer in it. Yeah. And basically turds and snakeheads, isn't it? Pretty much.

Yeah, pretty much. So here's the order we're going to go in. BTG first. Oh, no. For a second. Papa P. third. Wow. And Mr. Peter Fitzers can have plenty of time to type loudly as he goes to askgeeds.

dot com. Bradley, what are you going to do? I feel like a prick, but I'm just going to obviously hippo. You fucker. Well,

that's your, that's your head count. That's your body. What are you going for? That's, that's, that's my body. Okay.

You're just going to huge. Just going huge. Yep. All right. Okay. Hippo body. You son of a bitch. I mean,

I didn't think you'd ever let me go first. I thought there's no way. Okay. Well, I just, I had, it's my birthday and stuff, I guess. Let's let the hipo body.

Hippo, take the hippo. Sitting here in my shorts, feeling good about yourself. Forest, you're second. We didn't put your last for once. That's okay. Yeah, I got to think about it now. All right, so, okay. So it's head, body, special ability, correct?

Yes. Great, got it. Okay, I like it. Very simple for me. I'm going to come in at a different approach, and I'm going to win this. No question. And I am going to take the body. Kyle.

You didn't pull up a picture of a hippo. you're already fucking failing at your job I did he did it I was writing I was right You hate forest He's never pulled up a photo It was so instant

He had a hippo pre-cued All right I am going to pick The body of a freshwater pipe fish Okay I like that Never never heard of it I must see if what

What law? No no no no no No that's a pipe. I P-I-P-E. Kyle, you're fucking fired. He's an owner. He can't be. There we go.

What are you doing? What are you doing here, man? You're getting too cute. I don't know. I think we can both guess that these attacks are going to be erectile. That's what I'm saying. God damn it. How do you know already?

If you're all right, listening to the podcast, you're about to come and look at the picture to understand that. Of a pipefish. It literally looks like a pipette. All right. Yeah. I'm going to start with special ability. Oh, that's nice.

I'm going to take the special ability of a diving bell spider. Oh. Because I want my animal, which this is the only arachnid that lives completely underwater, does come to the surface from time to time to get some air. I want my animal to have the ability to encase itself in a bubble when it's attacked, such as the diving bell spider. I don't know how it's going to deploy that. I just think it's cool, and I googled it.

Do you want to hear a funny story about that species? Yes. Well, I have time to Google. So, like, as with most spiders, the male is tiny, the female is big. And he gets on top and he wants to copulate. And as you know, with spiders, they don't have a penis or anything. So they just put their sperm into their, like, front one of a better term hands, the petapalps.

And they shove that into the gentle opening and that impregnates the female. But if she's not up for it and she won't stop for it, he's on top of him. He starts to whack the water with his legs to draw attention. so that a fish will come and kill them both. What? Yes. And so it's basically, you either have sex with me right now or we both die. So, yeah, it's that's, I mean, that's, I've never, it's a suicide.

Would you rather to the mack? It's the most extraordinary, it's the most extraordinary mating strategy I know of in the. This is why we have BTG on the podcast. It really is. It really is. All right. My turn. Here we go.

And you're up to. Come on Google. Explain it. Oh, I got to do two. Okay, perfect, actually. All right. So fresh water, a body. I'm going with a tortell, a turtle. A large, the largest turtle you can think of. The biggest one. Alegator snapping turtle. The biggest one. The biggest most vicious one with a big hard shell that will defend it from attacks. We're going to go alligator snapping turtle for you. Okay. Very nice. What's number two, mate? Okay. Number two, a quiet over there. Hold on. I'm not reading anything over here. But number two will be. The, oh, and this one's good. And what's the third, the third thing that they need? They need a special ability. Uh, jaws or head and body.

Okay. Okay. So I'm going to go with the head and jaws of a sawfish. Obvious reasons. It's headed fish as a saw. Oh, that's, I like that. Well, what species? There's only one that goes into freshwater, which species?

Pristia day. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. All right. Did you write the baseball? All right. That's pretty cool.

It has a rostrum snout covered in teeth. This is from the top of my head, which it uses a stutter in a snout. It's like saying a nose, a nose rostrum snout. It's just the same thing. Tell Google because maybe he'll care. So my animal that's going to be encased in a bubble of its own protection and making more protection than a turtle, just saying. A turtle soft under belly, pretty weak.

Will be the size of an Arapima. Up to 440 pounds. That's a lot of feet. That's a lot of don't argue. They're pretty tough fish, too. Yeah, up to 10 feet long, I'm just like, give me an Arapima. It will encase itself in a bubble. Wait, wait till you see the head.

Forest. Very good. I mean, it just looks like a large mouth bass. It's not very intimidating. Yeah, except that it's like 20 large mouth bass. It's very big. All right. So I have the bottom.

of a pipefish, I am going to give it, who, which one do I pick first? Which one do I pick first? The head of a candiru. Now the can'tiru... It's a full... It's a full rectal

fucking urethra attack. The vampire fish. So it has the head of a candiru, which means that is constantly seeking out urea, swimming up the peepie hall. to, oh my God. Isn't that mostly urban myth?

Isn't that mostly... No, no, no, no. It's very rare, but it is not mostly urban myth. But not people, though. It's mainly the apertures of various lodged in the gills, right? So typically what they do is they're a parasitic catfish that lodge themselves into the gills of fish, but fish gills emit urea the same as human urine. So they'll gladly go up to peevee.

This is... I'm not saying this is what you will. always do because I've only come on here every now and them. But you do always do it when I come on. You pick these obscure attacks that take days or weeks. So now I've got a sore dick. I'm still in hiding your head of my turtle's penis, erythra.

This will not take day. All right. You will see you. I haven't seen his full picture yet. Oh, I know what you're going to pick. I've got body of a hippo, and my special power is electric eel. Thanks for coming. Very good.

And you got another pick. Learn how it works. Come on. Okay. Round it out. And the jaws are of a mugger crocodile. A mugger crocodile. Ooh, that's mean mugging.

It is an Indian crocodile that predominantly lives in fresh water, and it is a badass. It is the beanest of all fresh, pure freshwater crocodiles. They're nasty animals. Okay, because I was flying too close to the, oh, forest is up. Fuck. Yeah, but crocodiles are out now, right? Crocs are out now. Are you care for a special species if you want?

Because, I mean, you know, you'd pick a Johnson's or something lame like that. Go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. You love the wrong crocodile. Yeah, you love the wrong crock. This is why I had to take this unique approach because there's no way that an electric powered jaws mugger crocodile hippo body is going to be defeated. You know, like put a little tampon string on the back of your fish?

What are you going to do with it? Well, why don't you just hold on here for a second? Nobody's going to do. Go. All right, Peter, you got to freak out. Either way, if I'm right, I'm off the podcast. So my pipe fish bodied, candiru-headed fish creature has the special ability of a puffer fish. That's right.

He goes right in there. A fresh water puffer fish. Yep, fresh water puffer fish. I'm not familiar with a fresh water puff of fish. Pahaka, something like that. Kyle, you have to Google it. Sounds legit. Yep.

So my little guy goes swimming up your urethra. lodges himself in. He's this long and boom, inflate. I like it. Take that. I like it. Take that in your dick hole. Take that in your dick.

I thought you were going to go with the archer fish and be able to shoot with accuracy to get into the urethra. Interesting. It just, it just puts water out of his face, pretend. What damage does that possibly do? No,

no, you're spinning the little candida herpes things that he's doing into the urethra. No, that's the whole fish. With the astonishing accuracy. Yeah, also he's, herpes didn't, how did you get herpes in this? You don't pay attention. All right.

So what am I up for? One here? Not yet. None yet. No, no, no, no, it's not your turn. Yeah. Zero. All right.

Okay. So I've got my, got my big 440 pound, 10 foot long body encased in a bubble to protect itself. I'm just going to give it the head. Tell me if I'm wrong. Tell me if this is. is out of line. Let me give it the head of a bull shark. Can I do that?

Yes. Is that a freshwater? Ooh. I'm not allowed it. It's only in a slightly salty river. No, no, no,

you get them in fresh water, but they can only stay there for like a few weeks and they got to go. You have that. I don't think this battle is less and more than five minutes, boys. All right.

Well, that's one of your weaknesses. But remember, he's getting weaker and weaker every five minutes, too. I is. That's valid. He eats forest pasta noodle instantly.

I have to say, though, I had to fact-check the freshwater puff of fish because I was not familiar with it. And correct, they do contain tetrodotoxin, which is the classic fatal poison that kills you. So assuming that you clench your urethra around his penis fish, it could potentially be fatal. Or I'll just puff up and explode your deck. So, you know, he could eat it and not to puff up in his throat. Every weekend. Every weekend. I think force is going to be a tough contender to.

Peter, round out your needlepoint, sharp-tailed bat and that's not what I picked at all. I have a very defensive turtle that will, I mean, nobody eats a turtle. And stuff like an idiot human. Crocodiles eat them all the time. And I have a sawfish for the face. And the only thing I'm wondering here is do I want to go with a defensive mechanism or an offensive mechanism. Kyle, what do you think? Just put it in the chat.

Defense or offense here? My advice is to choose the stupidest one. Offense, baby. All right. Well, I'm going offense then, and I'm going to go with the electric catfish. That's right. The Malapaturi D.A., which I knew off the top of my head. Shows how much he was listening earlier.

You texted me about it earlier. Let's give it to him, no. Oh, yeah, I wasn't listening at all to anything. But you know, but by definition, you went with D. defense, right? So what do you mean? No, no, the electric, the electric saw, I think begs to differ. I know what it's an electric saw with a shell for a body. It doesn't move. It's not a head trimmer protect. Dude, it can release an electric current and zap. It makes the teeth move around the rostrum like a case. It's like that's underwater head trimmer. That's not how it's like it's like. It's like power it.

Yeah. But I do, I do just want to say my second choice was the freshwater prawn. And just because people like facts on the podcast possesses the ability to regenerate lost limbs. You could cut the saw off and it would regrow your stupid alligator could bite it off. It would regrow. That's a good extra. All right. I got to say, I'm surprised that no one, I'm surprised that no one, including myself, took a pistol shrimp because that would have been at scale.

Pat would always pick a pistol shrimp too. I know. An atomic bomb. I mean, you imagine the hippo had pistol shrimp. trim feed. I feel like I'd miss the boat in that one. All right, ladies and gentlemen, just weigh in,

prosners. Let us know who you think won tonight's Battle Royale. Was it BTG's hippo-bodied, electric eel-powered mugger crocodile? Was it Forest's body of a pipe fish with the head of a candiru

and the ability to puff up and explode your dick? Forest penis fish? Yeah. Sounds terrible. It really does. was it Papa Peas diving bell spider

which I'm not sure how this plays into the other because it gives them the ability to dive it looks cool gets a little bubble It's the paraphymed body with a bullshark head or Peter who actually came out pretty formidable in the end

an alligator snapping turtle with this head of a sawfish which is powered by an electric catfish when let us know who won. Can I just say that the only I love a lot of fresh ideas, the spider and the penis fish. I love it.

The one fatal flaw with forests weaponized creature is that unless one of our species is taking a piss, it's not going to do anything. It's true. It's just going to swim around. When they see mine, they're going to pee, dog. Does a turtle's dick even come out? Or is it just like pee from its butt? Yeah, no. It's a pretty much too much TikTok.

You know what, Kyle, pull up a, pull up sulkata tortoise dick if we want to, I don't, I think this is a nature podcast. You want to see something impressive? No, yes. It's very, it's one of, one of nature's more impressive fallace. It really is. As the layman, I want to know what a turtle penis looks like right now. It could hold a can of fat tire. That's how big it is. Cheers, mates. You're going to see it in a second here. Yeah. Oh, I thought he was going to do a video. The videos are far more impressive. That looks like Pat's dick. Wait. We're talking about the little derailed. It's coming back.

We are derailed here. Anyway. No, my God. There you go. There you go. There you go. It's horrific. I mean,

I love nature, but that's a lot of don't argue in the pants. It really is. Well, gentlemen, let's do the thing. We got to wrap this up. It's laid our wives and our children are calling. I don't even know what to say.

Go to the Wild Times podcast. No, go to wild times. club forward slash info to find links to all the shit where you can find our podcast. Do not forget to check out the additional four podcasts we do a week on Spotify. You can subscribe there. You can subscribe on Patreon. We love you. Sign up for a member.

For a month. You said four a week. That's definitely not for a week. I'd kill myself. It's for a month. But be sure and check out fucking BTG's podcast. June 20th. Kyle, what time?

Submine. Indestructible. semi-indestructible, premiering June 20th, wherever you get your podcast, wherever you get your Wild Times, part of the Wild Times family. And as I always say,

life is short, death is forever, get amongst it. 1 p.m. on June 20th, I don't know what time zone, but, you know, that's Kyle's fault.

PST, Pacific Standard Time. I will not know the fucking time. You know, I'm going to be live. I'm going to be chatting. So we'll be TG. Oh, I can't wait. We're going to premiere it,

like an episode, where we can interact. Forrest won't be there because he never comes, but me and Pat will be there and BTG, because we just told him right now, BTG about him being there, but he will be there now for sure. There you go. Nice. Yeah. See the comments. All right, everybody.

Good pod. Good laughs. Good people. Love you guys. Great fun. Thank you. Hope you feel better. Good night. Good night. Thank you. I drove him down. Boom. I got him. You need them. Good prize.

That's like the Kirkland brand ibuprofen. It's not even the real shit. Yeah, it is, actually. It's a thousand, a thousand tablets. Jesus Christ, dude.