Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Attack Squirrel Sends Two People to the Hospital

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

This week we discuss a potential thylacine caught on camera, Forrest's dangerous shark dive, and a rare white beaver spotted in Canada. Enjoy! (TWT 187)FRE: Wild Times listeners get 20% off their first order at https://frepouch.com/ when you use code WILD at checkout.Toyota: Toyota: Discover your uncharted territory. Learn more at https://www.toyota.com/trucks/adventure-detours/Get More Wild Times Podcast Episodes:https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wildtimespod/subscribehttps://www.patreon.com/wildtimespodMore Wild Times:Instagram: http://instagram.com/wildtimespodTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespodcastFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/X: https://x.com/wildtimespodDiscord: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9DbWebsite: https://wildtimes.club/Merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merchBattle Royale Card Game: https://wildtimes.club/brOur Favorite Products:https://www.amazon.com/shop/thewildtimespodcastMusic/Jingles by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkeyThis video may contain paid promotion.#ad #sponsored #forrestgalante #extinctoralive #podcast

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Wah, wah, woo. There we go. We're in the studio. Having a drink. Cheers. Cheers. How are we doing, boys? Great.

Yeah? Yeah. I mean, it's the best time of year. Yeah. I mean, we're post-Hawloven, which means Christmas decorations are going up in my house. Of course, they are. It's pre- Thanksgiving, by the way. Yes.

Yeah. He left his up from last year's still. I'm surprised. No, it's great, man. Weather's cool. Time to bust out. The hoodies. I like that.

I like that a lot. I was just telling my wife that, you know, this is my favorite day is coming to do the studio days because you drink a ton of light strike well that's true well thanks for stepping over what i was going to say by what we do my uh no it's it's like i come here i start my day off with with a coffee so i have like my first my injection of drugs that i need delivered by me sometimes today it was delivered by four host uh and then second time in a row by the way but who's keeping i'm immediately allowed to start using with a light strike and it's not frowned upon by anybody except for the millions of people watch it. Sure. And, and then, no, sorry,

can I change what you're trying to say? Sure. You're saying it's not frowned upon by anybody except for the millions of people watching. What you mean is my wife's not here to yell at me for drinking at 10 in the morning. It's not even really yelling. It's just judging and like looking and stint-eyeing and then thinking that everything I do for the rest of the day is messed up because I had one drink. Well, you've been really like, you've really curbed your booze intake. Oh my God. And so Well, you look forward to the studio day because you're like, oh, that's a day where it's like, it's like a vent drinking. It's like old school before I had any responsibilities where I can do whatever I want all the time. And you day drink.

Well, yeah, I mean, I don't get super drunk, but, you know, a couple cocktails to get a two beer buzz, two light strike buzz going all day. Sorry, so what was the next progression? Well, and then we'll have a nice lunch, which we just ordered. And then I'll finish it off with a magic mine, an energy shot. And then I'll have another light strike. It's such a yo-yo. It's just a balance. It's a thinn's line.

It's the best, like, life you could have. I can't believe we get paid for this. He just detoxes and re-taxes all day long. You mentioned day drinking. I heard this on another podcast. And I was like, this is such a great question. So I'll just say right now, one of mine is day drinking. Okay.

So the question is, and I don't know, maybe this is something everyone's already talked about. What is an activity or something you can do, a behavior that's considered classy when you're rich? Oh, I love this question. Oh, have you guys heard this? No, no, do it. Do it. It's considered classy if you're rich. Yeah.

But trashy if you do it when you're poor. Yeah. And yours is day drinking. Yeah. Okay. It's a fucked up thing. But you know what I mean? Like you picture a bunch of rich old ladies drinking champagne at a country club.

Yeah. It feels classy. Yeah. I got it. like four people sitting on their porch at noon on a Tuesday. Totally. Getting, getting a hooker or an escort.

Like going to Vegas and getting. That's pretty good. Like you could, you could be like going into an alley and paying $20 for a blow job for a man dressed up like a woman. Or you could be going through the yellow pages at the, at the Wynn hotel. Right. And have like some classy woman come to your place.

Yeah. True. Yeah. Um, okay. eating fish eggs. Yes. Very good. That's a good way.

How is that trashy if you're poor? Because if you're poor, you're just like squeezing a salmon over your mouth. Oh, I see. If you're rich eating caviar with a pearl colored spoon. Kyle is mortified, man. Who is squeezing fish eggs? Bro, look it up. That's a thing.

It's a totally a redneck hillbilly thing. Really? Yeah. I believe it. I'm telling you. It's like, it's caviar, boy. Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

Here's another good one. Yeah. Having someone else raised your choice. children. Oh, 100%. Dude, dude, yeah. I mean, me and my wife talk about it all the time. Like, man, if we were rich. Yeah, I know. I would only be around my kids during the best of time. Right. Look at this guy. Telling me that guy's classy. Oh, my God. Ew. He didn't need it. He just spit it out. That's heinous. Yeah, that's heinous. He thought it'd be cool. And then he was like, this tastes bad. It's a bad idea. And I'm positive from this aesthetic that he falls into the poor category.

Poor guy. That's okay. One more age. I really like this. I'm trying to think of one that's like, it's like paying taxes. You know what I mean? Like that's not it. No,

but but avoiding taxes are not paying taxes. Yes, that's it. Avoiding taxes. Yeah, avoiding taxes. I would say classy or trashy. Boating well intoxicated. Yes. Just boating in general.

Yeah. Totally. Yep. That's good. Come on, Peter. One more. Cruise ships. All right.

No, that's never. Classy. Never classy. Oh, dude. One more. Talk while I'm thinking. Kyle, what are you got? I was trying to think of like some version of like hanging out or drinking in public space, like in the park.

No. They are like on the beach, like an event in public spaces. I like avoiding taxes. Yeah. That's a good one. I can't. I can't. It's too on the spot.

Avoiding taxes is really good. Hey, give me, give me a little jingle, jangle, jangle. Oh, tell me. Yeah, baby. Woo-hoo. News from the underground. News from the underground. I got sent this a lot a couple weeks ago.

It really, really blew up the feed. Okay. I'll be honest. I don't know the story. I just saw the video floating around. Okay. So what I saw was a jaguar that was swimming across a lake and these guys throwing like a towel down

and the jaguar clawing its way onto this guy's boat. So, Kyle, is there a video for this? Yeah, here it is right here. Look at this. Holy cow. That's incredible. My goodness. Is he bleeding?

It looks like it. Yes. So he's hanging on to, he's basically riding on the boat next to him. They're saving the jaguar. In a large city. This is the city of Manow, Brazil, which is a city I've never been to, but always wanted to. And yeah, so I think, what are the details? Describe what you're seeing.

Yeah, so on screen what you're seeing is a small jaguar, small, you know, male-looking jaguar, medium-sized. And he's gripped onto, it's not a towel. It's more like a, what is it, a plastic? It looks like a hit shield from rugby practice. Something's in there, like zipped up. It's like a, uh, yeah,

and he's gripped onto it off the side of a boat while the boat is motoring towards shore because the jaguar was allegedly drowning and these rescuers came in and threw it this, this dummy sack, this life preserver, and it clawed onto it and was sort of clawing to the side of the boat, which would be kind of scary, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Um, but still, love these guys. So it says here that environmental agents

in Manow, Brazil rescued a drowning jaguar from the Negro River, finding it exhausted and riddled with 30 shotgun pellets mostly in the head. Damn, that's brutal. Five-year-old male suffered multiple gunshot wounds and fractured teeth, believed to be the result of poaching. It was taken to a veterinary clinic

where it underwent surgery and began intensive recovery treatment, blah, blah, blah. All right, so here's what happened. This is near a city. Manow's a big city. And this Jaguar likely broke into a chicken coop or something like that. Oh, this was the shot I saw. That was the shot I saw where it was clawing on to the side. Oh, man, he's like petting it.

Well, he said this is from poaching. So I don't know if it was breaking in or somebody. No, this is my opinion. Okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. This Jaguar likely, like I said, broke into a chicken coop or something. People freaked out and they started shooting at it, you know, with a shotgun.

Got some pellets in its head. It ran away, panicked, swam out to the middle of the river. and because, one, it has, you know, terrible wounds, but two, because it was panicking, started to drown when these guys rescued it, which I just, I think the whole, I mean, not what happened to it, but I think the rescue part's awesome.

Amazing, dude, it's incredible to watch. They have different angles of this. Right now we're looking at like a wide angle of them pulling it. This is the clip that I saw. As if it's water skiing into the shore. But what's crazy is to think of an apex, like very elusive big cat like a jag, knowing and being so desperate.

Like it obviously was really drowning because it clinging because it clinging on to this life preserver thing and then got pulled all the way to shore by these guys. It looks like they tried a few different types of like rafts. Yeah. And then it finally got whatever this bag is. I think it's just the boat cushion on a rope.

Okay. This like restores my faith in humanity a bit, man. I love seeing stories like this. There's a lot of the first part. Well, yeah. I mean, but visually this is what we're seeing so you don't have to see that. It was a five-year-old.

old male jaguar. I'm surprised you're saying it's small. It looks average size to me. I mean, they get so big. They're such a big cat. But yeah, at least from that perspective. Beautiful animal, by the way. Like leopard print on our jaguars, all that same design color? Jaguars and leopards are different. Leopards have rosettes. Okay. Which is a specific spot patterning. And the jaguars have the patterning you just saw there. There, yeah. Very beautiful. Is Manow in Brazil or Argentina? Brazil. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. So there's the leopard versus the jaguar.

Just gets me in the feels, man. Like this video, I'm happy that this guy and it says they took him to a vet and the vet is repairing him and going to release him into the wild if it needs. Oh, they'll have to, I'm sure, unless it needs constant care forever. Right. It says based on it. Well, the broken teeth could be rough. I mean, that's what always starts man eaters, right? We've talked about that before is when these big cats don't have, they have something wrong with their teeth. and so they're like, I need soft prey and they start praying on people.

Mushy people. Mushy, soft, fat people. By the way, speaking of soft people, I saw this statistic this morning. For the first time in human history, obese children outweigh malnourish children. Like outweigh them legitimately? Well, that too. Outnumber. Outnumber.

Sorry, that is what I meant to say. But isn't that crazy that we have created a society where it's now easier to get excess calories to the point of obesity? than starvation. I always thought it was weird that we base everything on the 2,000 calorie diet, like the nutritional panel. And I was wondering, like, how did this come about? Like, why is 2,000 calories the norm? And then why is it broken down into these groups?

Well, as we all know, the food pyramid that they told us about was total bullshit and wrong. Like, you're supposed to eat 12 loaves of bread and like three pounds of rice and carbs and all this shit. And like everything, it turns out that the 2,000 calorie diet, including like the nutritional panel and everything, is based off of like economics so that they can predict how much food will be needed to keep the public fed. What are you basing that information on? Well, I read a whole Reddit post on it. I did discover that on Reddit, but then yes. What do you mean? It's based on economics.

So essentially it was, I can't remember the entity. It might have been the FDA or whoever created it. Definitely the FDA. Yeah, it was done and it had to do with rationing and World War II, basically. And then they had this surplus of food and all of these mechanisms to create food. And they've bred all these animals like for the meat and the cows for the milk and everything. So they had to create a way so that people would be. believe that the amount of food that they're going to make available is the amount of food

that we should be eating to be healthy. Right. In other words, they're saying that you need 2,000 calories to be healthy. We probably need a thousand or less. Exactly. And people vary. Like, it's very variable. But the economy of scale is like, if you need to, you need to eat this much. So that'll help us, you know, everybody work harder and buy more and pay more and blah, blah. Well, and it's changed so much. I mean, think about how we are now in society where we're sitting in front of computers and sitting down all day. You don't need 2,000 calories to sit and look at a screen all day.

But also should be two different numbers. Like, did you exercise for an hour today? Sure. All this is. If so, go for 2,000. Sure, yeah. Yeah. But now what, Kyle?

What's Kyle doing? Unhappy about my Starbucks cup. Look, look, Forest dash, Starbucks cup, exclamation. mark. It's just sitting on the, it's a piece of trash. It's not. It was my drink. Refuse. I like it. I'd hide my garbage. Kyle's a great producer. He's doing

doing the job of 10 guys back there. So I was, so there was rained a bunch and I went for a run right after it stopped raining yesterday and I had a real close encounter with a squirrel. Guys, I've been feeling a little bit sluggish today and just went over to the old

backpack and got myself one of our free pouches. Nice. That's all that's in your backpack. Yeah. By the way, literally, I'll show you mine. It's literally, yes. Yeah.

Well, we were both Zen guys. Yeah, yeah. As was the crew that Forrest and I work with, we were all zinners. I don't know what the science is. I just know that it helps me focus and gives me something to do and run a long hike, whatever. A little boosty. And yeah. Switched over to free.

It's just thicker. It's such a far superior product. It lasts so much longer. The flavor lasts so much longer. moisture. It has, like, now if I, like, in a pinch, I have to do his in, it's, it turns into chalk within a minute. It's like putting a piece of loose leaf into your upper lip, man.

Honestly, it really is. It's like, no, it's like graph paper. It's even worse. You can't go back once you go free, man. I'm telling you. No, these are awesome. The moisture technology, I love these hundred packs because these go nice in the backpack. There you go.

And you're confident you're not going to run out when you're on a two, three day trip. Yeah, that's right. They got a lot of different milligram age. Oh, three. 15, so depending on if you're like me or like Peter, get whatever you need. What kind of incentive do we have for the brozner? Listen to this, Wild Times listeners do get 20% off their first order at free pouch.com. That's F-R-E-P-O-U-C-H.com.

When you use the code wild at checkout, that's 20% off your first order with the code wild. Okay, I have a question. What's the single most important thing that you guys rely on when you're on these adventures in remote places. I mean, to me, it's pretty obvious. When you're traveling somewhere that has rugged terrain, the vehicle that gets you there is the difference between having a great time or not so much.

So when we're traveling, whether it's domestic or international, we always, always, always try to get Toyota trucks, right? Oh, 100%. I think about when we were in Sinky DeBahara and Madagascar and the huge rains came. I was just thinking about that trip. Yeah, we had a caravan of about 10 trucks and literally, and we have video. of this. All the Toyotas made it out and there were three or four

other trucks that got stuck in the mud for multiple days. Patrick and I were of course in the Toyota's. Comfortable the entire time. Toyota Trucks, let's go places. Discover your uncharted territory. Learn more at Toyota.com slash trucks slash adventure

dash detours. Oh, like. I always like Pat's run encounters. Yeah. Yeah. He has one a month at least. Well, you guys had a paranormal episode while you guys are running. That's true. We did. But yeah, so this incredibly obese squirrel must have been a pregnant.

It had to be pregnant. I don't know. It was one of the rounder squirrels I've seen. But I was running on the sidewalk and it just comes darting in front of me, stops right before me and then turns and starts doing this like loud cackle as it runs away. Oh, yeah. I was like, what the fuck's going on there? Like, you saw me coming.

It's broad daylight. Yeah. Why is he being offensive or she? I don't know. I don't know what was happening. Maybe it was all screwed up because of the rain. Or the pregnancy, if it was actually. Could be. Yeah. But then I saw this news story as we came into the studio here today. Vicious squirrel attacks. Send two victims to the ER. Whoa, to the ER. You could have been number three. Could have been. You are lucky to be alive. So it's going around. All right. What's going on here? So this was in San Rafael, California. They had to be hospitalized. That's crazy to the ER from the squirrel. Well, I would go to the ER if a squirrel bit me.

I would want a rabies. Dude, I was always terrified of that I would get rabies from a squirrel. I actually tried to keep one as a pet when I was younger and it almost bit me. And I always remember that. But, you know, it turns out it's like incredibly rare for a squirrel to have rabies. I mean, rabies is pretty rare. Yeah. Yeah.

This was in California. A lady named Joan was bitten and scratched when it latched onto her leg and she had to shake it off. And then another lady was attacked in the same geographical area. it leapt toward her face biting her arm and leaving her covered in blood. They were sudden and unprovoked saying the squirrel appeared out of nowhere and residents have put up warning flyers that are alerting people about a quote, very mean squirrel. Dude, I attack squirrel beware.

Kyle, what are you doing tomorrow? Because I say we go, say we go catch this squirrel. Catch this bad boy. Yeah, let's film this. Let's get a convoy. Let's get a mob. Let's get a couple traps and go catch the mean squirrel. No joke. If you're doing it tomorrow, I'll come with.

You're in? Where was this, San Rafael? I didn't even know where that is. I don't either. San Jose-ish. Ah, too far. Yeah. A little too far to go catch a squirrel. Yeah, it's not, you can't go on a squirrel trip. So is this the lady? She's like, is that the mean squirrel? I think it might be. Dude, go back to mean mugging that, that elderly lady's thigh.

Oh, boy. Hold on. Pause on the mean mugger. Sorry, go ahead. Looking at the bite marks. They're like little puncture wound. Yeah, it's those front two teeth. Look at him. Yeah. That's son of a bitch. Dude, there's the attacks. He's just waiting. He's perched there waiting to get to pounds.

What has happened to that squirrel? Is someone stolen his girl? Dude, like rapid fire bit her. She's got like 16 punctures. Yeah. And this isn't the first time. This squirrel has been accused five other times of attacking five other residents. Okay, so this might be the second time we've talked about this same squirrel.

It could be, yeah. I also want to point out that he has a preference for elderly white women. He sure does. He's going for the week. Oh, wow. Claw box there. That looks scary. Dude, look at her own.

God, her arm is shredded. That's Boshana. That's an angry freaking squirrel. What is happening in San Rafael? I mean, here's the bottom line. They got to catch this squirrel. Of course. That's why I suggested we go.

He's going to end up with a pellet to the forehead. Oh, absolutely. I can't believe nobody's done it yet. Like, this has been going on for sounds like many, many months. I wonder if this is like an elderly community. It would make sense. Keep playing, Kyle. I want to see what else comes up.

I love that they just used a picture of a red squirrel from England. Literally could be an AI picture of a squirrel, like full flight. Oh, that's not him. That's another squirrel. Now, they're just showing pictures of squirrels, like nice squirrels. That's what news people do. Adorable cat, rabbit. Dude, I kind of like the story.

Like, I don't want these two elderly ladies to get bitten any longer, but I do want the squirrel to keep being a vigilante out there and just keep randomly attacking people. Vigilante. Yeah, right? Look, we're already at five attacks. That's crazy, bro. I wonder what we get up to before this. squirrels apprehended.

Yeah. But he cannot be stopped. But like a squirrel to behave like this, you would think that it might have rabies, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. There has never been a case of a squirrel giving rabies to a human. Remember we covered this when that influencer got a squirrel confiscated? Oh, yeah.

I remember that. I didn't remember the rabies. All right. So, Forrest, your phone's ringing. Hello? Hi, this is John Donald Smith. I'm the mayor of San Rafael. Oh, yes, hello, Donald.

Thanks for taking my call. Of course. Usually I text first, but my screen is cracked. What's your screen cracked? I dropped it in the toilet. Yeah. So we have this squirrel problem here. We think it's just one squirrel.

We're pretty sure because it is now attacked five of our elderly Caucasian female residents quite viciously. They've all had to go to the ER. It's in a neighborhood. and lovely San Rafael. And we would like to capture it and send it to the zoo. We don't want to kill the squirrel. We're against that. Yeah.

We have a total budget of about $30,000 for this. Times are a little rough up here. We're going to be okay with this. Yeah, yeah. Keep going, Donald. Would you be able to help us out? And if so, what would you're... I'm talking to a couple people.

Uh-huh. Obviously, whatever is left over from the budget you just keep. Sure, sure, sure, sure. We'll fly you up here. Yeah, okay. What would you do if you could, if you're available? It's a great question. I mean, the first thing I would do is speak with Mrs. Heblack and Mrs. Campoy

about their attacks and try and geolocate the territory of the squirrel. Okay. Do they keep a huge territory? Not too large. I would guess, so this is probably a California gray squirrel, not a ground squirrel, I would imagine. and if that's the case, I would imagine that they have about a one to two square mile radius. So we should be able to find them pretty quickly based on the neighborhood. At that point, what I would do is just put out a lot of traps.

Okay. Really quick pressure sensitive traps and bait those with peanuts, butter, nuts, all the kind of things, high-calorie foods that squirrels will be looking for this time of year going into the cold season. Okay. And I have a feeling I'd be able to catch them in less than three days for you. Oh, wow. Yeah.

That's great. Now I'm a little concerned that I've over budgeted. Well, here's the thing, Donald. I may actually use Mrs. Joan Hiblock and Mrs. Isabella Campoya's bait. Oh, really? How does that work? Now, I'll tell you. They're not the most sturdy on their feet.

I've noticed that about these lovely ladies. Yeah. But what I will say is this. These animals do imprint in the way that they will recognize a threat. Okay. And if they've attacked these people before, going back to that same region with those same people, they know, the squirrel knows that these people are vulnerable and that it can move them. So if I use these ladies as bait and walk them through the area, I may be actually able to pinpoint the exact aggressive squirrel, shoot it with a net gun if I don't get them in my trap. That's fun.

So it's a two-fold approach. The second one is far more enjoyable to watch. Not sure how that's relevant. and yeah, I have a feeling I'll easily burn through that budget of yours, so don't worry about that. Sold! Yeah. And, you know, we'll have a lot of fun doing it

and hopefully rescue the squirrel without him needing to be shot. Yeah, Jonathan. What's your name? Johnald. Johnald, if you don't mind. Actually, I was like, oh, wow, I didn't know that squirrels did that, so they will attack the same people again.

It's not so much that they'll attack the same people. Well, I mean, maybe they will, but it's more that this squirrel now knows that it can move those people. You know what I mean? In the sense of it can scare those people off. So it will be more prone to attack them than it would to attack someone else.

They gotta do something about this squirrel ASAP. Well, like, if you're a kid living in that neighborhood, you're grabbing a pellet gun and being like, I'm gonna find that squirrel. A hundred percent. But if you're if you're John old and you're trying to resolve the problem peacefully and make a PR stunt out of it,

you could, uh, that is what I'm doing. Yeah, you could easily hire somebody to find the aggressive squirrel and give it a happy ending. Okay. All right. What kind of happy? Oh.

A squirrel massage parlor. What are we talking about? How big is squirrel cock? I don't know the answer to that, unfortunately. And Kyle doesn't seem prone to Google it right now. Kyle, I want you to look up to squirrel cock. Please go ahead. It's going to be somebody dressed up like a squirrel.

No, there's a lot of pictures. I do like squirrel nuts. He's got safe mode on. He does. And thank God. Oh, there it is. It's about two centimeters. How many light strikes have you had?

Why are we talking about this? I don't know. There's nothing to look at animal con. I think it's because you said a happy ending. Ah, that's my fault, right? That's what screwed it up.

No, that is a wild story. But also make for a heck of a YouTube video for your channel. It would. I'm not going to do it because it's too far, but it would, yeah. If it was like a one hour drive.

I would strongly consider it. I would go. The problem is how much shit I have to do, but if I, if it was Friday right now and I didn't have stuff to do, I would spend a Saturday on the squirrel Yeah Absolutely bring your net gun

Yeah I've kind of been thinking about the apocalypse lately And how like we're all doing pretty soon Kyle you like that in to what he's about to say Yeah But and I was thinking to myself man I'd be so fucked And then I was just like because oh And I was thinking about this because I was sitting at a stoplight

And a train was coming by And I was watching all the automation Like the gates come down The light changes everybody stops And everything's so structured and once like the civilization breaks down like I'm gonna be so fuck I'm gonna be lost everything's just gonna be chaotic I won't be able to deal with it like just having you like not crash myself and freaking out anxiety no traffic lights like no organization everybody's just nothing nothing and I was

thinking about forest and I was like I feel like this is what forest does for fun is just like create cause chaos thriving chaos yeah so like I'm going straight to your house you call me anytime dude we'll survive chaos together. Yeah, right. If the apocalypse actually comes and that 3-1 Atlas thing is actually like a UFO mothership. What are you talking? If I call you and I'm like, dude, I need you to protect me and my family. I'll bring some buckets of food

and a handgun. Can we come over? I say yes. Would you? Of course. Oh, shit. You're bringing buckets of food. You're bringing value. Yeah, I got some big buckets of food. You say no buckets of food. It's a different conversation. Well, you'll eat my kids. Yeah, exactly. I will say when the big, the time I had to run out of the studio, when the big fire broke out between here and my house, and all the traffic lights were out. Yeah. Yeah. And there was this fire that was,

you know, a hundred and a raging feet tall. Yeah. It felt like the apocalypse. It felt chaotic. Sure. People were driving psychotically. People weren't stopping at the, people were just barreling through red lights. It really felt like an end of day's scenario. It was much scary than the fire itself. It's amazing how quickly, like, societal structure breaks down in the face of anything like that. It's just like, Every man for themselves immediately. It's like, what's the matter with you people? Well, that's the problem. Behave the same way you would have if there wasn't a natural disaster.

They say that human, like, civilization is only two weeks of no food away from a complete, like, collapse. Oh, really? Yeah, like two weeks without the grocery stores being filled. Interesting. Yeah. We're all doing it. All right. Well, most of the time, Forrest, I feel like you lead our listeners, favorite news, second.

Detour destination. Oh, Detour destination. Yeah. But I've got one that I'd like to do from close to home. So this is this week's detour destination brought to you by Toyota, our friends. Yep. Where you got, Pat? All right.

So this is for, we have a lot of listeners in New York State, second most of any state. Yep. Where you're from. Yeah. I grew up in upstate New York. So this detour destination is going to be a lovely road trip on the Finger Lakes. So what you do is you fly. into Syracuse, I would say, or Rochester. You pick up your Toyota truck at the airport.

Okay. And first you're going to head to Cayuga Lake, about an hour and a half. Cayuga. Okay. Exactly. What do you do there? Oh, it's great. I mean, you guys know that I spent the entire summer, the COVID year in I think of Chicago, which is right on Cayuga Lake. I was going to say you spent the entirety of COVID there. Yes, I did. It's not. You're going to hang out at Cayuga Lake. You're going to rent some bicycles. You're going to bike through the woods. There's a bike path that goes for like 15 miles. That's beautiful. There's deer everywhere.

There's a bison farm right up against the bike trail, which is cool. So you can see randomly a couple hundred bison. And then you're going to go hike around to Gannock Falls, which is stunningly beautiful. Wow. And in the summer. Big waterfall. Big waterfall. No kidding.

Totally freezes over in the winter. In the summer, you just swim under the falls and it's amazing. Nice. And then you're going to go from there, jump back in your Toyota and go to Watkins Glen. There's a lovely state park there that also has waterfalls and hiking. And then in the evening, you're

going to go watch some motorsports. Okay. The Watkins Glen is known for it. It's called the Glen. It's a super famous motorsports racetrack. Okay. That's a lot of fun. Just enjoying being able to just go lake hopping. It's a great, great. And like this time of year,

all the leaves changing. It's one of the most underrated spots I've I've been to in America, and I didn't value it as much because I grew up near them. Yeah, yeah. But it's, it's awesome, and it's a great road trip. You can also just drive up if you're in New York City. You can just take off and drive up there. I'm sold.

I mean, I've said this many times on the podcast. I think that like Lake River hopping thing is the best. Absolutely. I know nothing about upstate New York. So that's a great little detour destination brought us by Toyota. I like to do it. Yeah. Let's do it right now.

Let's go. Lakehouse. Hey, Kyle. Do we have a little guy? Game to play? What was that? I've never heard you do that. That's the first time.

By the way, I would paint that. Yeah, you like it? I like to, can you try it again just to see if you know how to replicate it? Hey, Kyle, do we have a little game to play? Yeah, that actually climaxing. We do. By the way, you might want to work that into your TV shows. That good, huh?

Wow. Oh, yeah. I like it along. I'm going to work on that. Pat, this was your idea. Tell us about your bracket. Hey, what's the date? What's the date?

of tomorrow because we're recording this on a Sunday. This comes out on Monday. I don't know. I know it's near. It's a week-ish. Yeah, whatever. We're a couple weeks out from Thanksgiving. Yep.

We've done top three DFL, but a lot of the people who are on the subscribe and get the bonus pods, we do these brackets. Yep. They're fun. They make us laugh. And people are like, you should do these on the public pods once in a while. Yep. Yep.

So we're going to do a bracket of the ultimate Thanksgiving food. Boom, Shagalaga. So just like an NCAA bracket, there's a left side, there's a right side, and things are going to go head to head, and there will only be one winner. Let's do this, though. What do you think is going to win going in? Because it never turns out how you think. Thanksgiving turkey. I'm going to go Thanksgiving stuffing.

Oh, stuffing's good. I think I have a feeling, and I have not seen the bracket. I think mac and cheese is going to be on this, and it might win. I agree. Oh, Kyle agrees with me for once. I want to point something out here. This is very interesting for us because we have a very broad gamut of Thanksgiving officiados here.

Sure. You hate Thanksgiving food? Correct. You think it's the worst meal in history? I think it's the worst meal you eat every year if you do traditional. And I love it. It's one of my favorites. And Peter is right in the middle.

Oh, you really love it? Well, I mean, I'm in the middle. I feel like you're very like, yeah, it's good. But I don't really care. Yeah, it's not my big thing. Which I think makes this pretty interesting. you hate it, I love it, I look forward to it all year long, and he's just like, yeah, it's good, whatever.

Yeah, it's good. It's not bad. It's good. We're hosting 15 of my wife's family. Oh, that's awful. It's going to be intense. They're flying in from all over. Oh, my goodness. And we're having Filipino food. Oh, because I know you, you'll do anything to avoid a Thanksgiving dinner. That's correct. Will there be like a full anonymically correct head of a bird somewhere anatomically correct? It was close.

Yeah. No, there will not be. There will be Lumpia. What's Lumpia? Basically, Filipino egg rolls that are just... You can eat 40 of them. Nice. Okay, okay.

All right, let's get into the bracket. Yeah, let's do it, Kyle. What's up first? We got the Thanksgiving turkey versus cranberry sauce. Ludacris that this is even... Number one. That's the number one right there. No, listen, I mean, come on.

You're going to put fucking turkey versus cranberry sauce as the first one. I mean, this person obviously despises cranberry sauce, which is understandable. It's fucking turkey, obviously. Yeah, I hate cranberry sauce. I will never, when it sits on the table, I won't touch it.

Canned cranberry sauce is an abomination. It's actually, I like it more than the, like when it's in the shape of a can, yes, with the ridges on it. Disgusting, you're saying you like that?

I think that's better than real cranberry sauce. You should be killed. So I'll vote cranberry sauce. The turkey's dry. It's unfucking blue. What about the turkey leg? You have to slather it in brown goo for it to be so good.

I cannot. choke it down your gullet. Cranberry sauce over turkey is fucking insane. All right. So one, Eve, what's yours? Turkey.

All right. What are you going to do? He can't play this game with us. I do like it. It makes it more entertaining. Oh, biscuits. Oh my God.

Dinner rolls, I guess. This is another heinous choice right here. What is a lime, jello salad with cottage cheese and pineapple? I've never even heard of that. It's disgusting. I bet it's horrible.

I bet it is good, but it sounds disgusting. I would absolutely get a helping. I hate the color. I love it. I love a hot fresh bread roll. That's a no-brainer for me. Yeah, you do.

Yeah. What? Sweep? Yeah, for the bread roll. Yeah. Of course. A hot dinner roll with buttered brushed on the top. It's delicious.

Kyle, is there any world in which you would have picked the lime jello salad with cottage? Of course. Nobody would. No. All right. Love this. Wow.

Yeah. That's a contender for me. Okay. Scalloped potatoes. So good. How do you know they're not all grotten? Oh. Okay.

it could be all-grotten potatoes. I actually don't know what either of those mean, except that it looks like that. Potatoes slathered and cheese in a casserole. Oh, delicious. So good. Okay. Versus collard greens?

Collard greens. That's obviously I'm going to scallop potatoes. See, Little Frank's Red Hot on there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I do love some cheesy potatoes. Yeah.

I don't know what the other greens are, though, and I love collard greens when they have meat in them. Yeah. I don't know if there's spinach on the tail, like cream spinach or anything else. I got to go for the collard greens on this one. I mean, it's colored greens, however, you like them, mate versus the potatoes. That said, what kind of meat you think so on that colored cheese?

What would you put on there? Ham, ham, come on. I'm going, I mean, cheesy potatoes, bro, come on. I need potatoes in any form forward. It's like when Patrick said mac and cheese, but better. All right, pumpkin crisp, so desserts are mixed in, which I like. Pumpkin crisp versus corn. Also, what a terrible picture of corn.

Such a bad picture of corn. Like, it really doesn't sell the corn at all. There's no butter on there. Nothing. Because typically you'd have creamed corn. Creamed corn or something, it would be glistening with butter. Let's make a creamed corn to be safe. Yeah, thank God.

Okay. I don't like pumpkin desserts very much. So, creamed corn for fry. Same. It's ridiculous. Sweep. Yeah. We put it under the rug.

I am not a fan of pumpkin. My sister, or my sister. My wife always buys the giant pumpkin pie from Costco. Awful. It's $6. It lasts for like a month, so it's always there. I'm fat. It's the size of the table.

Yeah, like at 2 a.m. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it'd be grudgingly. But you're eating it. You eat it angrily because it's not good. Right, yeah. Just look forward to the milk. I'm guzzling. Just think you could have a pecan pie or a nice apple pie or pumpkin.

Oh, God. No. All right. All right. What do we got, yeah. Cornbread versus biscuits? Yep. Yeah, versus a, it looks like a pretty, like a dense-ish biscuit that could be a little

clunky. Now, I want to point something out here. and I think this is important. Bread rolls already one for one. Sure. But two, that's honey cornbread. That's a drizzling a honey on top. With butter.

With the hot drawn butter or just butter. Looks yummy. I'll jump in early. I think literally Thanksgiving is the only time of year that it's acceptable to even eat cornbread. And I love cornbread. Whereas biscuits, you can have you around. Cornbread for me.

Okay. Yeah. I mean, because the dinner rolls already there, I'm going to go honey cornbread with butter. You're like honestly, bro, I mean, you could do all the stuff. You can't, you can't really make those biscuits as good as that buttered, honeyed cornbread right there. That looks delicious. No matter how much butter or honey you add to the biscuits.

Yeah. It's not the same. Yeah. Ew. Fruit salad versus roasted butternut squash. I'm glad the fruit salad in this picture is covered in mayonnaise. That makes it more appealing. It looks so bad that obviously none of us are picking fruit salad.

Correct. I mean, it's ludicrous. Which is crazy, because you could have just put up a nice picture of a fruit salad. I mean, Pat, am I wrong? So this is how my mom made fruit salad. It's not mayonnaise. It's, I don't know what the hell it is, heavy cream or something. Okay.

So it's a sweet white paste. Okay. Does fruit need to be sweeter? Apparently. Yeah, but it did make it really good. So I'm going fruit salad, squash is trash. Okay. I'm assuming that you were with me for us and the butternut squash.

Indeed. Like, the thing is, it's, it's totally. tough for me because until I've eaten it and I'm full and the meal's over, or it's 3 a.m. I don't want anything sweet. If I am looking at something comparing it on an empty stomach,

I'm always going to pick the meal food. When you cube that squash and you roast it and it gets that little caramelized edge, it's nice. I just calmed. Okay. Looks like that fruit salad. All right. Apple pie versus traditional Thanksgiving stuffing.

What celery. Now, can I just, I do, that's what I was going to say. In the apple pie. In our world, in this game, that is your perfect stuffing. So not whatever that stuffing is, which looks dry to me. Yeah. That does look miserable. I like a wet stuffing filled with sausage bag.

I want it straight out of the bird, dude. Yeah, do you put it in the bird? Of course. Must. He hates it. He hates it. Let me explain something to you. When people, people think it's really cool to stuff the stuffing into the bird,

it sogs it up too much. and that's why the turkey's so fucking dry. You know what's so annoying about Patrick? You know what's so annoying about Patrick, Peter? Is he does that in a way where you're like, fuck, he's right, he's cool. Like the way he said that's really cool. Like, I'm not going to stuff my turkey.

I love stuffing the turkey. He's fuck off. He makes you second guess yourself. But he really does. He's so good at it. He's a good gas lighter. Yeah. The original.

Stuffing. If I had to choose between one of these, I'm confident I'll find a sweet bite later. Yeah. Stuffing to me was a contender to, win. Yeah. Yeah.

God, Apple pie is so good. It is. Especially look at that one. That's a good picture. Good. There's lots, a lot of stakes in this course.

I'm not going to take your vote into consideration, but what would you pick? Stuffing. Okay, stuffing for me. Well, yeah. I mean, I just said it. I'd pick the, the salty food or whatever,

the meal food. But I will say this. Apple pie is probably going to be the best dessert that's on the whole list. That's the problem. Yeah. That's the problem. Like, this could be the finals.

Right. Right. There might not be a dessert. Could have been. So stuffing is a sweep then? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

Can't go without the stuffing. Ooh. Southern? Oh, man. Wow. Oh, this is so good. Okay. Yeah.

Let me explain this. Please. Southern baked. I don't know what I'm looking at at all. Southern baked candied yams. Yep. So just candy yams, let's say. Yep.

You know what that is. Sometimes people put marshmallows on top. Which I think is insane, by the way. It's going. It's going. against... Right? It's insane. Yeah. It's crazy. It's going against a four-compartment glass tray with green olives, black olives, pickle slices, and cornichones. That's right. Is that what the small pickles are called? Or gherkins. Yeah, the small pickles. Yeah. Yeah. So I'll start.

Please start, please. Because I've always loathed and despised the Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah. We always did a big spread of like chopped up pickles, several kinds of. Several kinds of olives, some cheese and some crackers, and maybe a summer sausage. So I make sure to eat enough of that to where by the time dinner comes, I just have a ceremonial plate. Yeah, you're impartial. Yeah. So I'm going with the olive pickle spread. Let me jump in here. Please. You're an idiot. I will say this. Like, dude, I mean, so first of all, I'm not going to say I hate olives, but like this is disgusting looking for Thanksgiving. I mean, I like the things like they're okay but there's nothing to break this tray of small pickles olive olive and then

another weird like vinegory thing sure like there's no no that meat or cheese or anything's in there to break it up just salt and vinegar right there yeah yeah i mean like the southern big candied yams like yes but it's like yes i like them so i'm going with that okay so my mom makes candied yams every Thanksgiving. And she puts, it's like equal, she'll never hear this, thank God. But it's like equal part

marshmallow to yam. Sure. And I hate it. That's bad. It's so gross. And I like eat it to like, so that I can show that I've right in front of her.

Just like ceremonially. But I scrape the fucking mountain of marshmallow off the plate because it's the most disgusting thing. Everything else is savory and like turkey and Thanksgiving and stuffing. And then there's a fucking two inch pile of marshmallow. During the meal.

And if that marshmallow touches my turkey, I might throw up. How about if it touches the, how about if the gravy touches it? Oh, my guy. It's outrageous. It's disgusting. And because of that, and only because of that, I have PTSD around candied yams. And I have to go for the pickle. Yes.

I don't mind the candied yams, but the mountain of marshmallow on top that puts me off so much. Fair, but I will say this. This is going to be out no matter what the next round it comes out. I don't think that's true. The pickles. True. All right. So we're finishing now.

into round two on the left side of the bracket. Okay. Turkey versus buttered dinner rolls. Buttered dinner rolls for me. I knew you were going to say that. And I think it's insane. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy.

I love a well-cooked juicy turkey. Yeah. The turkey leg is delicious. I love it. I love it. I love it. I'll have it twice a year three times if I can. Turkey for me.

Now I'll say this. The turkey's going to win if I select turkey here. Sure. And I'm thinking that I should get rid of it because the game's not entertaining otherwise. No, if you, I would say, if you pick dinner rolls because you don't want turkey to win a Thanksgiving bracket, I might leave the thought. If Turkey wins a Thanksgiving bracket, why would anybody even watch this fucking show? For the banter mate. All right.

I'm picking turkey. Thank you for everybody. I like that you were thinking so far ahead that I don't want people to tune out because I'm picking turkey. Skelloped potatoes versus cream corn. Easy for me, scalloped potatoes, cheesy potatoes. Sweep. Yeah, sweep it.

Definitely sweeper. Sweeper Rooney. Cream corn's gone. Honey buttered cornbread versus butter, not squash. We know what forest is picking. I'm also confused because there are no more Thanksgiving foods. What is the other side of the bracket? Let's see.

Cornbread for me. Yeah. Yep. Okay, you're both going cornbread. I might not have. I don't know. We'll leave it open. All right.

This is bad. Tray of brined items, including olives and two kinds of pickles. That's the word I was looking for, brine. Or whatever your favorite stuffing is. Stuffing, without question. Even you, even you with your pickle plate at Thanksgiving. I would have gone brine. Your stuffing doesn't eat to be in the turkey.

No kidding. I can't. I got it out of my hands. I got to fill up before dinner. It's fair. I could imagine Pat like sneaking in just a baggie full of the brine items. Snacking on them and stuff. It's like a trail mix.

It's exhausting. Turkey versus scallop potatoes. Let's go rapid fire. All right. Skelop potatoes. It's actually a tough one for me. This one's much harder because I really do like damn cheesy taters. Yeah.

They are good. Caramelized cheese outside. That's really nice. Maybe a little onions. Picket those edges. I got to go turkey, though. I love the turkey. I really do.

Yeah, this is what I was saying, Jens. I got to go turkey. Okay. It's okay. It's okay. I don't see gravy, so it's dry. But we're allowed to create a craft any turkey in our imagination that we would like. All right.

One of these things doesn't exist without the other, by the way. True. You know, stuffing is part cornbread. That's true. Because cornbread is just cornbread. So I'm just making that argument. Okay. So we're cornbread for stuffing.

Yeah. I'll go for stuffing. That's easy. Wow. Okay. What do you? You like the buttery cornbread? Well, I don't want to tell you in case you're...

Well, okay. I am going to actually pick the cornbread. I wanted to make that argument, but when you, here's the thing, I can eat the entire meal of cornbread. It's like kind of disgusting, but I will do it. I'll eat five slices of corn bread. With the butter and the honey, it's a complete meal. It's a complete meal. Yeah, it's good.

So you're the tiebreaker. Yeah, I mean, dude, I said it when we started, I thought stuffing might win. That's a heinous picture of stuffing, but the one that I'm envisioning could go all the way. So I got to go with a delicious coming out of the bird, stuffed bird stuffing. All right. Now the finals of the left side of the bracket, we have turkey versus stuffing. Oh, my God. These are the two things that you have to have at Thanksgiving.

Wow. I'm glad they both made it to the final four because it is a Thanksgiving bracket, even though I picked dinner all over. Yeah, that's insane. I'll go stuffing. I would rather have stuff. If I could only have one, I would have stuffing. If you're truly getting one or the other. So for me, it's turkey.

I love that turkey. I know, I'm boring. I'm just going to say it. You know. Peter, it's got to come down to you to. pick. Listen to me. When you just said if I have to pick one over the other, I really started just thinking about it.

Yeah. And there are been times where I'll get a second helping full plate of stuffing. There you go. The turkey really runs its course once the legs are gone. Is that true to you? The

white meat is usually pretty dry once the skins off. A dark meat. Bye-bye. Dude, listen, I'm sorry to do it. a really good stuffing coming out of the bird. That exists still even though we don't have the bird. It still comes from the bird. Yeah, the bird got thrown out

because I lost. I'm going, I'm going stuffing. I'm sorry, Forrest, I got to do it. It's okay. I mean, I won't say, I am mad because I think that's the same. But, Kyle, would you have gone stuffing over bird? Yes. Holy. Wow. I can't believe that. So easily too. That was your struggle for you to pick. That's what they say.

If three of your friends pick one thing and you pick the other, you're the problem. Well, that's true. You are wrong. All right. We're going to the right side of the bracket now. We've got just brown gravy, standard brown gravy, the thing that keeps your turkey from being dry. That's true. Or cheesy broccoli casserole, which is not a common dish in my house. Not common, but it fits in.

Yeah, it definitely does. You wouldn't be like, what the fuck's that? No, not at all. And I take a big helping of it based on the amount of cheese. Yes. The cheese is key. The cheese is key. I'll just jump in real quick.

I mean, you know, if you didn't have that. at Thanksgiving, it kind of ruins a lot of the meal. So I got to go with the gravy. Do you, when you make your Thanksgiving plate, do you like Vince Vaughn and wedding crashes it where you just cover the whole plate in gravy? Yeah. Well, except in like the, yeah, I won't put it in the all grottom potatoes for it. It's such a filthy fat guy thing to do and I absolutely do.

Is gravy the most important thing at Thanksgiving? It's up there. It's a contender for sure. Definitely top three. Yeah. What's your, so Peter, you went gravy? I went gravy. Pat?

Gravy? Clean sweep. Okay. Get out of here. It's very key. Casserol. I do like the look at that cheesy, cheesy casserole. It did look good.

Yeah. Yeah. Sweet potato casserole. Versus a glazed ham. So a lot of people do include ham at Thanksgiving. Yeah. Yeah. It's a second for the protein.

It's what comes in second. I'm just going to weigh in. I don't like glazed ham. No, me neither. I hate it. I think it's, every time it's made at my house, I like forcefully eat.

eat it and then there's always leftovers. It's gross. But see, the problem here is like sweet potato casseroles also sounds disgusting. This is trash and either one's gone next round. Exactly. Yeah. I would choose a slice of ham. Okay. If I were, if I had to eat one of these

two, I would definitely take the ham over the casserole. That casserole looks just fruit brood. It looks like a dog walked through the pan. Oh, God, and vomited it. All right. Ham progresses then for now to lose next round. What the fuck? Oh, wow. Okay. Mashed potatoes. Totally forgot about mashed potatoes.

Which are a very good food, by the way. It's so good. Covered in butter and chives. Some gravy, too, because we'll have that. Sure. You can make a little volcano out of it. Absolutely. Yes, sir.

Versus a sweet potato pie. I mean, I'll let somebody else go. Should we even talk about this? No, because gourd root vegetables don't belong in a sweet pie. Has anybody even heard of that? I've never had that. Oh, yeah. That's a classic.

It is? Okay. No. Absolutely mashed potato. Match potatoes. Mashed potatoes are really good. Lacious. I could just order those for lunch today.

Yeah, same. Wow. This is interesting. So pumpkin pie, literally the Costco brand one that Peter was talking about. Very true, yes. Versus an oven-roasted whole duck.

Now, before you say anything, Peter. Yeah, yeah. Patrick, you who hates turkey, what are your thoughts on this oven-roasted whole duck? I want duck to be better than it is. It's too fatty for me. I've ordered it a couple like fancy Chinese restaurants. I love it in a fancy restaurant.

Yeah, I've gotten it a few times. I'm like, man, I should never get duck again. It's just got so much fat on it. I think you hate birds. I don't like eating the birds and eating it. This is a tough choice because I could, I would still take the duck. I mean, pumpkin pie is just absolute shit. Does anyone like it?

I'm curious. Way in in the comments, actually. Because I, to me, it's like IPAs. Nobody actually likes pumpkin pie or IPAs. But with the IPA... You just pretend that you like it. Well, with the IPA, though, it gets you drunk or quicker.

So there's a benefit to do it. Agreed. The pumpkin pie is... On an airplane? Yeah. Where I'm just... I need as much alcohol as I can get as quickly as possible. I'll take an IPA.

That's fair. But do, please comment. Like, tell me genuinely if you honestly like pumpkin pie. And why? And why? Yeah. You're lying.

Yeah. All right. So, duck moves on. Not. I've never been to a Thanksgiving with a nice oven-roasted duck. Nope. Imagine if you went to a...

to a Thanksgiving meal that had all of these things. Oh, yeah. I would eat the shit out of that. It's crazy. Casseroles and hambs and ducks and turkeys, I'd be there. Absolutely. Green bean casserole with the little onion straws on top versus a homemade mac and cheese with breadcrumbs.

Oh, man. Yeah. Dude, I, this is really tough for me. Some people are very nostalgicly attached to the green bean cassero. I love a green bean cassero. Especially when that has little bits of bacon or hammy. And the crunches? Oh, my God.

And I actually prefer a mac and cheese without the bread crust. Agreed. Yeah. Agreed. So. More cheese, less breadcrums. So,

but this is just whatever your favorite mac and cheese. Of course. Yeah, of course. Um, I'm going to go controversial take here. Green bean casserole for me. I eat mac and cheese kind of once a month at least,

especially with kids. Green bean casserole is very Thanksgiving. It's very rare. Yeah, it's the only day. Um, this is really hard because I agree with your take on green bean casserole. Mm-hmm.

It's so good. I can't. be good, yeah. Kyle, do you like either of these foods specifically? Both. We both said mac and cheese could win, so I have to go mac and cheese. Yeah, fair. Yeah, I mean, mac and cheese, bro, come on.

Green bean casserole is just cream of mushroom soup with some green beans and crispy onions. But it's so good. It's nostalgic. That's fair. That's fair. Why don't you do this? Why don't you sit down with your mother and your brother and eat some fucking green bean casserole tonight?

That's weird. It's so good. That's weird. I'd rather have mac and cheese with my fam. Okay. Also, you don't have a brother. Yeah, true. Roasted Brussels

or turducken? Have you either of you ever? Never had a turdugin? I've had a turducket. Have you really? I have a turduckin story. What is it? That's what we're here for.

Like five, six years ago when these things were trending, maybe more. My mom went out and she went to lazy acres, which is like the fancy grocery store and bought a turduckin. And instead of a turkey, we had a turducken.

And she spent like days, dude. I'm not kidding. She brined it. And then she put in the, bag and then she wrapped it and then she roasted it. Wow. And it tasted just like turkey. You could not tell that there was a duck inside of that turkey. You could see it visually like this, but there was nothing special about it. Okay. Yeah. I feel like they, you know, they're kind of, they've gently coaxed us with like first the turkey, then the glazed hand or then the duck.

And now they're just like, boom. If you have to pick one of those, it's her ducking. Do you like it? You like meat? Do you want to turdoucheon? Do you want to turdur. duck in Brussels sprouts. You're going Brussels sprouts over double bird? Yeah. Yeah. Peter? Petter? Yeah. I mean, I love fucking the Brussels sprouts, baked or fried, whatever. They're delicious when they have that crisp outside of them.

Often served with bacon. I like the novelty of two birds stuffed inside of each other, but I'll lose to Brussels sprouts gladly. Yeah, I would, I eat those when they're at a, at a restaurant, like, every time. Who the fuck is eating rice, peel off and thank you. Thanksgiving. So this is where you flip the table. No, you're not. Don't put your hand up. Roasted asparagus versus rice pealph.

It sort of doesn't matter. I would choose asparagus here. Agreed. I would actually go rice pilaf. It's delicious. It looks like it has peas in there. I have never seen that serve at a Thanksgiving hill ever. The rice is cooked in chicken stock.

Oh my God. Kyle. Kyle, in the nine years that you've been alive, have you ever had a rice pilaf at Thanksgiving? No, I've not. See? Nobody's doing that. Who cares what Kyle has to say. Move on.

Asparagus is moving on. He stole my job on this podcast. I like this matchup. Set it up for us. Glazed carrots, which I make a glazed carrot. I've had it at your house in balsamic. Yes. Lovely.

Delicious and it's a little sweet. Versus a pecan pie, which is a sickeningly sweet dessert, but like two bites of it are delicious. Now, is it pecan or pecan? Depends where you're from, dog. Oh, really? Is that the delineator? I don't know. I hear both.

I just assume. I call it pecan. I don't know if it's right. I say pecan pie. I love a pecan pie. I think it's just like you said, the first few bites, you're like, oh, my God, with ice cream or whipped cream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then by the time you get halfway to the crust, you're like, whew.

Right. If you make it to the crust, you need to give your head a shake. All right. So you're going pecan pie? Forest is going pecan. Yeah. I'll pick chicken. Again, like I said before, I think apple pie would be the only one here, dessert that would win over glazed

carrots for me and pecan pie is not apple pie. I'm going glazed carots. Tiebreaker guy. I'm going to just assume that I am going to want a couple sweet bites at the end of the night and I'm going to go pecan pie. You will not finish the slice though. No, no, no chance. No, it's gross. All right. Let's go rapid fire. It's a no brain of the second round. Gravy versus ham. Gravy. Gravy. All right. But together those things look pretty good, to be honest. Same with this. I'll announce it. I'll say one, two, three, just spit it out. Okay. Okay. All right. Mashed potatoes with chives and butter or oven roasted duck. One, two, three. Potatoes. Damn it.

Oh, sorry, buddy. That's okay. Sorry, Forrest. I like mashed potatoes a lot. Mac and cheese versus Brussels sprouts. I need a moment. Two, three. Mac and cheese. Mac and cheese. I didn't know I had to think about it. I really want those brusels. One, two, three games difficult. Yeah, it is. It is. Roasted asparagus versus pecan pie. One, two, three. A spank pie. What did you say? Pecan pie. Asparagus.

Nice. Peacan pie advances. All right. Okay. I just want that. I just want that. That's my Thanksgiving perfect meal. Seriously.

Round three. This is crazy. Gravy versus mashed potatoes. One, two, three. Massed potatoes. Damn it. Because you got to have the goddamn gravy.

You got to have the gravy. I feel, I want the potatoes, but you can't not have the gravy. Yeah, but are you going to eat that by itself? Is that a winner? No,

I'll put it on. I'll put it on. Right, but when we get to the end of the bracket, are you just going to pick gravy and that's your meal? But I don't think. Is that how this works? I don't think that's what this is. I don't know.

I think it's just saying, what is the MVP? Okay. You know, that's just trying to think like you're sitting down. You're like, okay, this one. It's just a bowl of gravy and a spoon. You got some wine for me. All right, mac and cheese versus pecan or pecan pie. One, two, three.

Mac and cheese. Yeah, baby. Sweeper. All right. Now this. Now this will go to fight against turkey. No, stuffing. Oh, stuffing one, you're right?

I think so. Wow. Okay. So this is going to go fight against whatever one. Yeah. Brown gravy versus mac and cheese. One, two, three. Gravy.

Wow. Two for gravy. Two for gravy. Gravy. Because he said that it's not how it ends. It's not that that's the only thing. Your second guess in your pitch right there. It's not like what we did for the pool party.

Right. Which is the only thing at the party. Cooler beer. And no pool noodles. All right. Stuffing versus gravy, I'd like to, instead of doing one, two, three, let's each just say our piece.

Starting from left to right. Starting with me. Okay. Man, Thanksgiving is not Thanksgiving without either of these foods. It's hard now. The gravy for me goes on absolutely everything except the disgusting marshmallows.

However, going back and forth on my own logic, I will gladly sit there with a bowl of stuffing and just eat it. And I will eat it the next day and the next day. Whereas the gravy after Thanksgiving, literally that night I will not touch it the next day. It won't be on any leftovers, nothing. It'll be discussed. It's congeals into like a white solid.

So I have to pick stuffing. God, this is hard, man. These steaks are big. So I'm now going to change my criteria, which is if I went to this huge smorgas board. Yep. Yeah, at someone's house. Probably a, you know, playboy play me.

Of course. Yeah, that's who you hang out with. Yeah. You're at the boy mansion. And one of these had to be missing. Which one would bum me out more? If it wasn't there. If it wasn't there?

Interesting. That's my criteria. Yeah. And I would be more bummed if there was no gravy, so I'm going to vote gravy. That makes sense for Thanksgiving feast. Yeah. Oh, boy. Okay.

Oh, man. I mean, it's just really hard. Um, um, um, he's, we're going to start crying. He's about to start crying. Yeah. Because I think he thinks he has to do this this year. That's right. You know, if, um, what is Thanksgiving without gravy?

Wouldn't be. Wouldn't be much. But I got to clip it. It'd be, I got a clip it. November 18th. I'm going. No. Gravy.

I'm taking gravy. No! That's insane. The ultimate food of Thanksgiving is indeed the pot of browning. which nobody picked at the beginning. Nobody. Not one person thought of it. But as you get into it, it does go on everything. Everything. It makes sense. It's the MVP.

I put it on my pecan pie. I don't care. What do you think, Kyle? No, I agree with this. You need gravy for Thanksgiving. It's not Thanksgiving without it. What is that fast food chain where you can go in Boston Market? Boston Market. It's so weird. Thanksgiving year around.

It was a very, like I really enjoyed this bracket because it kind of came out of nowhere and I really learned something. I was going to say this was a worthwhile exercise. Yeah, absolutely. Final thoughts, Patrick? Have you changed your mind at all? A little bit. Oh. Because that gravy does look delicious. 40 years of conditioning against traditional Thanksgiving. He's nudged forward. Uh, comment below and let us know if you think gravy is the MVP of Thanksgiving. I think Thanksgiving is great. It's a couple weeks away. I hope you guys enjoy it. Yeah. Um, you know, one thing that's fun to do on Thanksgiving is sit around with your family, play game. Yeah. We do it boy. Get it. Yeah. I mean, I'm serious. I know I'm doing a real clean transition

here, but we do it every year. We don't play battle royale every year. I'm not going to lie to you, but we get together with the family, play some card games. Yeah. And battle royale is something that we've designed to be fun, educational, get people playing it. I mean, there are, I'm dropping cards. Three year olds can play. Three year olds can play. You can play with your kids. Yeah. You can play with a beer in your hand. Yeah. Uh, you know, we don't have a lot of games left at this point. Yeah. I'm not sure if we're going to make more or not, but get them. They're going to be a collector's item at this point. Yes.

Absolutely. I think we made 500 and that'll be, that might be it. Where can you buy them, Peter? Just go to wild times. dot club forward slash BR to get that. But if you want to get everything that we do, including those extra bonus pods, we do put out six per month. Two of them are public.

Four of them are on Patreon. Anywhere you listen. Except this month, we're doing three public. Oh, that's true. We're doing a bonus holiday treat. Yeah, that's right. But we do a lot more. is the point. We get, we get deep and dirty

and uncensored. Sometimes Forrest has no shirt on. It's the Cinemax of Poddard. That's right. That's at Wild Times. Dot Club forward slash info support the show. We love you guys. Good night everybody. Thank you. Thank you for Happy Thanksgiving. I don't think so. I don't think so. I think it got swallowed up by

HBO Macs. So they're Matt and now it's just like Max. Dude, remember a nice 9 p.m. Skinna Max Flick? Softcore porn. Yeah. They almost saw a nipple. Uh-huh. And they're rubbing and not doing anything? Oh, yeah. That was nice.

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