Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Earthquake-Predicting ‘Doomsday Fish’ Found Dead - TWT 157

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

This week we discuss a doomsday fish, also known as an oarfish, that was found dead in San Diego, saving freshwater crocodiles from toxic cane toads, and conservation in America. Enjoy! DUER: Get 20% Off Your First Order. http://shopduer.com/wild Mando: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with Mando and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code WILD at https://shopmando.com/! #mandopod Chubbies: Your summer wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off  @Chubbies  with the code WILD20 at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/WILD20 #chubbiespod MUD/WTR: Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your  @MUDWTR  order by going to https://mudwtr.com/wild! #mudwtrpod Magic Mind: Code FORREST gets you up to 56% off your first subscription for the next 10 days. https://www.magicmind.com/forrest Get More Wild Times Podcast Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wildtimespod/subscribe https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod More Wild Times: Instagram: http://instagram.com/wildtimespod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/ X: https://x.com/wildtimespod Discord: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9Db Website: https://wildtimes.club/ Merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Battle Royale Card Game: https://wildtimesmedia.thrivecart.com/battle-royale/ Our Favorite Products: https://www.amazon.com/shop/thewildtimespodcast Music/Jingles by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey 00:00 - Start 01:24 - It's Already Xmas for Patrick 02:21 - Forrest Going to See Polar Bears 11:27 - Oarfish in SD 16:07 - WWII Crazy Object Captured 19:32 - Civil War - Confederate Submarine 23:48 - Can Adult Couples Enjoy A Pool Together? 29:03 - Saving Freshwater Crocs from Cane Toads 33:14 - Conservation in America 37:49 - Old School Medicine 39:23 - BAOTW 46:59 - Forrest Son does Mutton Bustin 50:15 - Peter's Hat + Big Hands 54:30 - Battle Royale This video may contain paid promotion. #ad #sponsored #forrestgalante #extinctoralive #podcast

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Welcome to the Wild Times podcast. I'm your host, Forrest Galante, the broologist. I got Peter, a. Skinny Pete, aka. Retep, aka PhD in podcast on the far right. He is our resident alien expert and village idiot. Hello. sitting in the middle. I just gotta make funny you because it can't make funny you from being fat anymore. It's okay.

I mean, a village idiot is more of Kyle's thing, but I'll take Kyle. That's fair. That's fair. Kyle, the producer. And speaking of producers, Papa P in the middle here,

Patrick DeLuca. If this is your first time listening to our pod, just leave. We don't really want you here. Don't leave. Why? No, leave.

We're hundreds, because we're hundreds of episodes in. You need to start at the beginning. Don't start here. Evergreen, baby. We made our podcast. Whatever. Evergreen.

What do you guys got? What's going on? Gents? Well, we going right into it? I mean, let's say before we get into the news, I'll tell you one thing. Tell me one thing. What again? Been doing some drinking.

Today? Tonight? Your whole life? Man, I don't know. I'll tell you what happened. So I got served an ad on Instagram. Okay. For a fucking pretty early for this.

It's only September. I got served an ad for a Christmas vacation advent calendar. No way. They know you. Yeah, they do. I've never met anybody who loves Christmas as much as you in my life. And something happened. It clicked in my brain.

And I was like, tis the season. Like, we're here now. It's not. You bought it. It's basically August still. Pretty much now Christmas time. Are you drinking eggnog or what's going on? Yeah, how does this work?

This little red wine, been putting some real cozy shit on. It's 108 degrees out right now. Not in my house. Not in my house. What am I going to do with as fat as you can challenge this year? Well, we'll wait till October. I don't know. Good time.

What are you got? One of my biggest bucket list things of my life leaving in 48 hours. You're going to Taco Bell and McDonald's in the same night. No, that's his. You always do that. And he's the one going on the wildlife expedition. I understand. You do that every time.

Let's take a guess. What do you think? So obviously it's wildlife-centric. Yeah, yeah. One of my biggest bucket list mentioned it, that this is on top of my list before. What do you think I'm going for? I know what it is.

I can't remember the name because I'm really stupid, but it's that place where it's very difficult to get into the middle of it around all the mountains. Oh, you're talking. Papua, Papua, Papua. He's talking about West Papua. West Papua? That's what I'm saying.

No, haven't got there yet. Need many more millions of dollars to do that one. Well, I know because I said, let's do lunch. Let's do lunch. Or did I say, let's do brunch. He said brunch. I said, hey, I'm Hollywood producer. Let's, I was a hallmark, Christmas.

Let's do brunch. And we went and sat and had caviar. And, which we did, I never said, let's do brunch. I said, what are your five bucket list things? We're going to cross a bunch of them off when we sell this show. Let's fucking go. And you said, Pontinal. Yep.

We didn't do that on the show, but you've done it. Done it. You said Galapagos. Done it. We did it on the show. Amazing. You said that you wanted to explore the world's biggest cave in Vietnam. We did it on the show.

Fuck, there was another one we did on the show. But dude, that's great that you remember even those three. I remember those three. There was one more we did on the goddamn show. What a good friend you are. I'm trying to remember what I said to you, but I think it was go to Australia, right? And do look for the, no? No, I wasn't the ball of the scene.

There was one other one we did on the show and then polar bears. Wait. No, you're not doing polar bears, are you? Tomorrow, baby. Oh, tomorrow night. Where do polar bears exist? Are you going to Antarctica? No, I'm really excited.

No, so I've done a deal with travel Manitoba, Manitoba Canada. Oh, cool. And they're taking me out, and I'm going with Mitch. And we're going to this place called Churchill Wilde, which is a remote fly-in to this camp where you get two things that you focus on. One is on-foot safaris with polar bears. So literally walking with polar bears, which is the thing that I'm most excited for. And two, this wolf pack, Kyle, maybe you can find the name of it. I'm blanking on it.

It's a crazy, like, native name is the only wolf pack in the world that's never. been negatively impacted by humans. So the wolves are completely placid. Like they play, they have their pups around everything. So it's walking safari in the Arctic with polar bears and wolves leaving tomorrow night. That's fantastic. How many people are in this group?

There's six of us in the group. Mitch and I make up two of them. Okay. Yeah. So, I mean, when you say you're... Look at this. This is what we're going to go see and walk around and see.

I'm so excited. So how close are you? Like 100 yards? 200 yards? I mean, look here. This is what we're doing. So you see, you can literally walk with polar bears. So over the shoulder.

And you can see that's not exactly filmed with like a great camera. That's like a football field away. 100 yards away on foot, walking, tracking. That's a big old group right there. But yeah, no, there's six of us going. And yeah, walking with polar bears is very high on my list. So, I mean, being the nut job you are and you never follow rules, you always break any restrictions or regulations. Yes, I already have plans.

What are you planning on doing this? I am absolutely going to do this. We are bringing sound callers, which I'm not supposed to have. We're bringing decoys, which I'm not supposed to have. I'm definitely going to sneak out at night and go and try and get close to the polar bears. That's the craziest thing in the world. Hey, there's me. Going out at night.

What's your stupid face saying there? I don't know. I don't remember. All right. Huge, huge news. I'm so excited. I'm literally about to fulfill one of my largest bucket list destination trips of my life. Because this fall, I'll be headed to Churchill Wild in Manitoba, Canada.

which is along the Hudson Bay Coast. It's the first and only place in the world that offers walking polar bear safari. Cut it. Cut it. By the way, do you have to take some type of medication to keep your eyes open without blinking for that long? Is that what happened?

I didn't blink once. Blink! Interesting. I don't know if anybody's notices. I've never blinked during a podcast. Ever. Do you know? This group takes out a certain amount of walking tours,

obviously, each year. Do you know, have they ever had like a mock charge? Have they ever had an index? I'm not going to lie. I didn't ask. I don't care. I don't care. Yeah. You'd go out there by himself if he could. I thought if you were just like shooting the shit with them and stuff. I imagine if they'd had any negative, like majorly negative incidences. It would be public knowledge or known or they would have been shut down. But I really don't know. I mean, you know, look, I grew up in the safari business. We had some pretty bad negative instances. Usually from people being idiots like me and not listening and not following the rules. Well, the hippo attacking the tourists. Yeah, and the guy swimming with the crock.

I don't know if I've ever told that story. Never told that story. Oh, really? No. Oh, we can get into that. Let's save that for after polar bears. It's a crazy story. But yeah, so I mean, I don't know, to be honest, but I couldn't be more excited.

Oh, is that the pack? There is this pack there, the pack that's never been. The wolf pack. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, you're going to go out there. You're going to try and interact with polar bears alone at night. On foot.

That is, I mean, is nobody else concerned? I think that's insane. I mean, I have to think these bears are somewhat habituated. For sure. They definitely are. They're used to seeing people. But, you know, it's a short season. They only see them for a few months of a year.

They're also like one of the most vicious human, like, killers in the entire world. Look at that lodge. One of only three animals in the world that actively hunt people. That's, okay. Yeah. Are you going to bring any, like, deterrent? Maybe some. I'm going to bring a nice steak and rub it on Mitch.

so that if anything happens, I just kick Mitch in the thigh and run away. Are you going to put Mitch in front of the polar bear like you did the rhinos? Absolutely, yes. If anything happens, I will push Mitch in front of me. Mitch, stand here, stand here, get the shot. Just remember, polar bears don't attack if you're standing right in front of me. I'm guessing that they'll probably mandate that everyone has like a bear spray canister. I don't know.

I really don't. But I'm really excited. I mean, this has been, it's crazy because this has been top, top of my bucket list for almost as long as I can remember. small group walking. I don't think, you know, unless I'm doing some kind of thing, like, oh, we need to go caller polar bears and I'm getting called in to help, which I've never really heard of that being the case with polar bears, unlike elephants and lions and certain things. I don't know how you get a more intimate interaction with polar bears in this, so I'm really,

really excited. Are you? Oh. No, I was just going to say, so where do you fly into? I can tell you, we fly into, we fly into Manitoba. Yep. And then we take a little private plane to, what? one of these lodges.

Like there's a strip in the, these are in the middle of nowhere. It's a fly-in thing. And then, yeah, you go on the safari. So really excited. Really appreciate Churchill Wilde and travel Manitoba being willing to put me up for all of this. I think it's going to be really cushy and lovely.

I don't think it's going to be roughing it. Yeah. Which sounds delightful because it's the opposite of what I'm usually doing. Are you, so what? Seeing the wolf pack. Look at that. Yeah. That's amazing.

You think Alaska too. I told Mitch, we had a call about it this morning because we're getting prepped to leave, obviously. And he's like, I got this. I got this. And I was like, I was teasing him. I was like, ah, sorry, dude, we don't have the budget. Like, we're going to shoot on iPhone and GoPro. And I like kept the joke going for a while. And he totally believe me, because we have been cutting down on camera gear and budget stuff. And he got legit. Kyle, you were on that part of that call. He got legitimately furious. Like, he's like, I won't go there and shoot this. It's like, I don't

care. And I was like, calm down. I'm kidding. You're such a piece of shit. Yeah, I am. It's a treat. Well, here's what it was. He was getting himself. worked up for the end to be that he was just going to throw in his gear for free. Oh, 100%. But I didn't need him to do that. Are they going to let him drone? Yeah, we are. It took a while to organize that, but yes, they are.

Interesting. So you wanted to do this basically for all your life. What is it about this that makes it so special for you? Well, it's polar bears. There's nothing else. There's fucking huge. Also, where I grew up, we have basically all of the largest, coolest big predators in the world except for two things, tigers and polar bears. I got to do tigers a couple years ago.

You guys remember, I went with my mom. It wasn't like this. It wasn't on foot or anything. It was in a safari vehicle, but I've seen it. I've checked that box. This is the last incredible large predator that sits on that top of that food chain hunting people that I've never seen in the wild. So this is a big one for me. After this, you're done. You're getting out of the wildlife business. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to become an accountant. Oh my God. You would be a bad account. Can't wait. Anyway, I'm excited to tell you guys how that goes. I will try and keep in touch.

It's going to be really fun. We'll do a recap when I get back. Hey, Kyle, what's in the news? What's in the news? God, I love this jingle. Boom. Boom. I saw this pop up in my feed.

Big fan. This is a huge bucket list item for me. Would love to see one in my lifetime. The title is strange and mysterious. rarely seen 12-foot-long creature found in waters off San Diego. 12 feet long. What do you think that creature is? It was the same python that bit the guy's nuts.

Petter? What do you think? It's got to be a fish of some sort, right? It's in the water? Yes. You said that, right? I did. Any other guesses?

Just fish. I didn't say fish. A mermaid? A mermaid? 12 foot long. What gets 12 feet long that you could find in San Diego? Two big or not. Seahil.

Sawfish? Could that get 12 feet? They could, and that would be epic. It wasn't. What if I told you this? What if I told you? I'm going to give you some clues. Like, what's the game we play with the mysterious animals?

BASAR animal, Luis, thank you. B-A-O-T-dub is what the huge... B-A-O-T-Dub. All right, we'll give you a couple clues, see if you can get there. What if I told you that this was a deep-sea ribbon-like creature? I would have a pretty good guess. You guys. Petter?

You guys. I would, I mean, I know deep sea. I'll just say anglerfish. Good. I'm sure it's tiny. It's not a good guess. That's a small thing. I wasn't going to say it.

I wasn't going to throw you under a... Now, I will say, 12 foot angler fish? Terrifying. I'm in... That's a movie. That's a movie. I'm in on.

The title is... That's the title. 12 foot angler fish. One more clue here, and then I'm out of clues. All right. Actually, I can do two more, but I'll combine these two.

It's silver and red with spots. And I don't know if that helps. And... Final clue. It's the omen of the end of the world and earthquakes. Do you know about this? To what civilization? It's like a known thing. I don't know. I can't remember the name, but it's like a smorfish or something.

It's an orphic. Oh, I knew it was something. Smorfis. You have a smorfis in between your smut track. I was thinking like smore. I was like, I know what this is. All right. It is an orfish. Yeah, I don't know why they're an omen. We should look that up.

But yeah, so check this out. Group of kayakers were hanging out in San Diego, like Mission Bay Area. And sure enough, here comes a 12-foot-long orfish still alive up on the surface, which usually means they're very sick. But there's been this thing. And Kyle, maybe you can figure out where this comes from, where when orfish wash up, it's like an omen that earthquakes are coming. They're like an indicator or something strange like that.

I forget where it comes from. Interesting, yeah. Okay, go ahead. Japanese folks. War. The orfish, also known as messenger from the sea. Yeah. Probably because it's so rare.

It's super rare. Attributed it to like, oh, like, this is something bad's going to happen when you see a giant. It says that it foreshadows an impending earthquake or other natural disaster. There's been quite a few earthquakes. That's interesting, right? Because one of the thoughts is that, like El Nino conditions can cause them to come up and swim at the surface. So maybe they're right. Wow, that's a nice piece of art.

Look at that. That is, so that's an orfish. That's an or fish. So maybe go to the actual video, Kyle, or if you don't mind. I think it might have been actually dead when it came to the surface. Was it? They found a dead one. I don't know.

But I saw them pull it up on a paddleboard and swim it in and stuff. And it's cool. I mean, you know, finding a dead one would not be as cool as seeing a live one. And there are probably 10 or 12 people in the world that have actually swum with a live one before. Have you ever seen the picture of the one that washed up in Catalina? No. Oh, find that, Kyle. That's a crazy, crazy fish, though, to pull.

up, especially if you didn't know, like, what it was. Oh, yeah. Good eating those orefish. Are they? What? That first picture. Look at that. Is that an orifice? Yeah. I was in Catalina a few years ago. I'm crazy. Wow. It looks like a sea serpent. I was going to say, where do you think the sea serpent myths come from? Yeah, that's it. You're looking at it. Imagine seeing that thing as you're, by the way,

I always say this. People always forget this. The whole like sea serpent, mermaid, Siren, giant squid, all those things. Keep in mind that when these legends and rumors came about, people were in sailing ships that couldn't stop and turn around and pivot on a dime. It's not like today where you're going by and your speedbone. You're like, hey, what's that?

And you turn around and you're back there. So they'd be like going by at five or six knots and you'd see it. Snaking through it. Yeah, you'd see whatever it is, a colossal squid, one of these things. But then it's not like you could just turn the boat around and go check it out and be like,

oh, actually it's a fish. So you'd just see this thing or a dugong, which is where mermaids come from or a big squid that's dead and where the, you know, the crackins come from and be like, oh my God, it's this monster and then you don't see it again. Guys, I brought some gifts.

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Stand out like I do in this shirt with chubbies. I got a little story I heard recently that involves monsters in the depths. Do you want to hear it? Desperately. So shortly after or during World War II, I can't remember. But that was the time frame. There was a deep sea entity or whatever you want to call it that was traveling. It was bigger than an ocean.

oil rig. Okay. And it was traveling at over 600 miles per hour. Wait, what is this? So there was, it's an unknown. An unknown. It was just caught on sonar. And I can't remember if it was on radar too, but it was caught like.

During World War II. During a military vessel. Okay. Gotcha. Yeah. So they assumed it was like a sub or something. No, it wasn't a sub because it was traveling over 600 miles an hour next to a, so they, and they, the eyewitnesses said that they saw the size of it.

and it was way bigger than the oil, the entire oil rig, which is like a one block city traveling next to it. And, you know, that's pretty crazy. Pretty crazy story. Yeah, I mean, think about the biggest cruise ship you've ever seen, an oil tanker is much bigger than the biggest cruise ship. Oil rig, like an oil rig.

Oh, bigger than an oil rig. Yeah, sorry. So that is like the size of a cruise ship going by. Big. It's like a city block. Yeah. I mean, it's equitable. But the thing was traveling, you know, 600 miles an hour,

and they caught it on radar. obviously the story just came out now is unclassified but oh real thing so it was like a declassified government document yeah it's it's now it's out there in the you gotta send me that I will send it to you can you find this Kyle I mean 600 miles or what you know I'm sure they measured it knots equivalent of 600 miles an hour I mean if that's true it's what I mean nothing can move at 600 miles an hour

that we know about in the water. The crazy part, that's right, obviously. This is from the UAP realm that I was talking about before. But the crazy part is that this is like recorded on technology. Like now we have technology to record these things. It's like these things are happening now back then. Imagine if this just happened, you were in a sailboat. Kyle, can you look this up?

What is the fastest that something can move in water? There's got to be a max. I know that this is different because it's UAP. I'm just, like, as far as physics, what is the fastest that something can be? No, yeah, you want the real, according to physics. Yeah, I'm curious, because there's got to be like a finite number, right? Well, maybe not. The underwater speed record was a British spearfish torpedo excess of 70 knots.

So that's only like 150 miles an hour or something, right? 80 miles an hour. Oh, shit. Yeah. Wow. So this is. Well, no, but there's, so then they say the Russian. Skivel rocket-powered super-cavitating torpedo is capable of speeds of 230 miles an hour.

That's very impressive that anything can move in water like that. Because think of all the tension that water puts up. Right. Crazy. Yeah, friction. I mean, you know, unless you're talking about something that can basically put itself into a bubble that defies all laws of our known physics. I like that.

What else we got in the news, Cal? You know, it's interesting. I just learned this. Well, we're on this topic, I think it's really interesting. You know about the Civil War. You've heard about the Civil War. I've heard of it. Kind of a big deal in America.

Okay. Did you, maybe everybody knew this. Did you know that the Confederates used, had a submarine in the Civil War? No, get out of here. I'm trying to, very hard to understand why. They're trying to, why? Well, they're probably trying to blow up the blockade ships. Oh, interesting.

So I just learned. There's something called the S-S-H-S-H-S-H-N-L-E-Y. And it was a Confederate submarine in the Civil War. Well, that's fucking fascinating. Look at this thing. So it was discovered direct. I'm so confused by this. Me too.

Like, this is shocking. It's completely rusted out. It has feet. I think that's the stand. Dude, look at this thing. I mean, what if you were the guy? H.L. Hunley. What if you were assigned to go on this thing?

It's small. It's not a big sub. There's like one chamber for a man in this. Is this for going up like the Mississippi River? You know, I wish I had a full encyclopedic knowledge. Kyle, why don't you read it offline so we don't have dead air and then tell us? But yeah, I think it was the only one. The Confederates were also using these things called David boats. Okay. I know nothing.

Yeah. So basically with the David boat. was it wasn't fully submersible, but only the top stuck out, like a very small portion. And then it had a big wooden arm that they attached a torpedo to. And they would just cruise at night. You couldn't see it

because so little of it was above water and just rammed the torpedo into the size of one of the blockade ships to try and blow it up. Oh, just blow it up off the arm. That's kind of cool. And they did it successfully a few times, but apparently they had a fully operable submarine in 1864.

That's wild. It's really wild. That's absolutely wild. You wonder, I mean, you wonder how this thing would be constructed where it can actually have some type of intake, like oxygen intake. It must have had some, like a little thing sticking out, right? The sub. No, the sub was fully submersible. That's crazy.

So let's see. After months of practice runs and weather delays under the cover of darkness, it silently approached the USS Hussatanic and blah, blah, blah, which was on blockade duty. carrying a torpedo and what happened it did something cool I'm assuming you tore a hole in the ship's hall center to the bottom so it did its job and then it wrecked you know

so it was like a kamikaze mission basically by the I assume it was blind like you were blind driving this thing I don't know literally just have a stick attached to the end with a bomb on it right and there's no sonar

or anything back then so you're just you know what I mean like you're just blind driving it's not like you can navigate when you're underwater it's not like like, oh, go left by that street sign. Like, what was the Periscope invented? Was that around back then? Good question.

What a great invention. I want one in my car. Periscope falls under the category of things, like the quicksand of things you thought were going to be a bigger deal when you're in a ball. That you never heard about when you grew up. Yeah, 100%. I for sure was like, yeah, like one will be sticking out of the top of my car. I'll constantly be.

Why wouldn't you be? Yeah. There's a, there's a iconic, hilarious episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. with Larry David, where he's investing in basically a car periscope. Okay. So that you can see over like traffic, if you're in a traffic jam, to know what's going on in front. That's hilarious. It's so ludicrous considering that like we have radios and like we know what's going on already, but you want to see it.

You got to see it. You got to see it. You got to see it. Yeah. There it is. He brought it up. The car periscope. He thought it was the best invention.

Is you going to invest millions of dollars? in this thing. That's hysterical. So good. I'm so blown away by that sub. I'm like mine. Yeah. Like how?

Isn't it crazy how? When the world is burning to a crisp, we're like, that's all right. But when we need to fight each other, it's like, oh man, let's get some really good technology advancements

like right now. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. That's true. All right. So what do you guys think of this scenario?

Is it legit for a couple? of adults. Man and a woman. Man and man. Doesn't matter. A couple. A romantic couple. Okay.

To just invite another couple over to swim. No kids involved. No. God, no. What? That's insane. No. This is crazy.

What's the matter with you? Why not? Have a cocktail sit in the jacuzzi? I'm going to mediate. I'm going to mediate. Let me mediate. Right here, pal. Let's go.

Right here. Let me mediate. Okay. Peter, you have 30 seconds. Well, I mean, it's a pleasant experience. experience your friends with these people. There's going to be cocktails. Maybe there's some music going on.

You're laughing. The wife is kept entertained by the other females so the guys can hang out and talk sports. Do whatever they want and just keep cocktail. And nobody's in trouble. You don't have to take care of kids. The water's warm. It's clear.

It's brisk. You got a jacuzzi right here. You're sitting in here. Oh, what else could you need? Bizarre. Utterly bizarre. There are two scenarios in which this is acceptable. One, you have a pool party where there are multiple people

hanging out drinking. it can even be three couples. At that point, it's a fair game. But when you are two couples romantically involved and you invite the other over, it's automatically assume that you're swingers and you're there to look at each other half naked in the swimming pool and try and select. So this recently came up and I've discovered that it is like 50-50 polarizing. It's insane.

It's completely normal or that it's others think it's clearly a swingers in. It's a swingers move. We need people to comment. in the comments. I will be personally responding and wondering about this in the comments. Just, Pat, what's your take? Picture this real quick.

Let me just paint one quick picture for you. You get a call. You get a call. I'm done defending myself. I just want you to think of this, all of us, before Pat gives us his take. You get a call to your buddy. You've known him for a year and a half.

He's got a hot wife, whatever. Hey, Pat, you and the, you and the misses want to come over, hang out in the pool for the day? Sure, that sounds great. Nobody talks like that. Sure. Fuck off. Fuck off.

This hypothetical 18-month friend does. Yeah, shut up, Peter. That sounds great, man. What time, what shit, should I bring the kids? No, no, no kids. It's an adult's thing. Well, that changes. No, stand-by, stand-by.

Stand-by, stand-by. You're like, okay, that's bizarre. That's bizarre. That's bizarre. I'll get a sitter. I'll grab my swimsuit. Nobody would do that. You show up.

You arrive at 18-month friend's house. It's just you and your wife and him and his wife. That sounds great. I'm leaving immediately. There's no fucking way I've taken my shirt off in front of that guy. You're a weird out. No. You're a fucking weird out. So how about this?

Slight tweak. You invite another couple over for dinner. Yep. Summer night. Don't mention the pool, but they know you have one. They show up and they brought their suits. Totally acceptable. Well, yeah. I mean, obviously.

It's hot out. It's the summer. You're like, oh, maybe there's other people coming, you know, whatever. Maybe we're going to jump in the hot tub and have a glass of wine. That's like a different thing. Sure. That's different from, hey, the four of us are going to get half naked at our pool privately in the backyard. Well, yes, I feel to see the weirdness from it. I mean, me calling hypothetical friend and saying, hey, you want to come by for a dip in the pool. Is an invitation like, hey, have you been interested to see what my wife looks like in a bikini?

100%. That's all it is. Because I'm asking you, because I'm quite intrigued by yours. Exactly right. Weird. I mean, I disagree. But. but I'm also asexual, so it could be part of the problem. Let us know if who's crazy here between Forrest and Peter. What was your take, though? Are you okay with this? Why did this come up? Did this happen to you?

It must have. There's no other situation in which this comes up. No, I'm okay with it. And he's been polling his friends ever since. You must. I'm okay with it. Like, if I invited you and Jess over for a swim, you, yeah, I'm fine with it. We've been friends for 10 years.

That's a different situation. The time was not included. I was picturing like Pat doing this. And I'm like, okay, yeah. No, this happened. It was literally, it's like a two-year friend. Close. Level of closeness?

Level of attractness of wife. My wife doesn't watch this. Eight. Five friend level. Okay. Yeah, that's right on the border. Yeah, and that's why I did bring up. I was like, sounds fun, but swim was made like as a mandate.

And so I'm just warning you like this could be the bubbly starts flowing and then some hands and feet start wandering. If you walk in and there's a bowl for your keys, take those keys and walk right out the door. Maybe you're into it. But the thing is is that like, you know, it's it's just a friendly gesture, man. Come on. You want to come to swim at my pool? Yeah. I would love to.

Then invite. Bring your wife. Two more people. No, just your wife. That's it. That's it. Just invite two more people. That's all you have to do.

Say the kids are welcome. Kids are swimming, you're swimming. Everybody's happy. Kids are welcome, Christina, and Jess. You guys not invited, just them. Well, that's an obvious play by you and it's really smart. Yeah, that's a good moment. All right, moving on.

I'm uncomfortable. Let's go. I'm really glad we talked about that. You too. I saw an interesting piece of news here. As we know, cane toads are a massive issue in Australia. They have these poison glands behind their eyes, everything that eats them dies.

Well, scientists have cooked up. a plan to save freshwater crocodiles from these toxic cane toads. Can I guess? Sure. They're going to introduce a non-toxic kangaroo to eat the cane toads. Okay, so the issue is that the freshwater crocs are just eating them because they're big and fat and juicy. And their toads, they hang out in the water's edge.

You know, they're a perfect prey at them. Just like a little appetizer, a little fucking Lindor chocolate for them. What could they be doing? I'm not even going to guess. It's really interesting. So it's a method I've never heard of before called CTA or conditioned taste aversion. Oh. Basically, they teach the crocodiles that cane toads will give them food poisoning.

Interesting. So if they eat a cane to, like they feed it a cane toad and then they go, you know, not a full cane toad. Like maybe they pull some of the venom out or I'm not really sure. I'm sure we could. It probably explains it. Yeah, just like a little introduction piece. Yeah. So enough to make them sick.

So they eat it. do that two or three times and then go, whoa, don't ever eat that again because it makes them so ill as opposed to killing them. And then over time, they learn that that is something that you cannot pray upon. And then so, oh, sorry, go ahead. I was just going to say, so yeah, they're taking cane-toed carcasses and lacing them with nausea-inducing chemicals. Oh, okay. So they're actually adding something so that they'll get sick, but safely. Yeah. And then there's a control. So there's like chicken and there's other things. So they're like, you know, eat that. You get sick. Eat that. You feel good. And so it's a conditioning

thing. And results have shown a 95% reduction in crocodile deaths within areas that they have established cane toad populations after doing this. Lasting beyond the trial. Which I think is cool. Really impressive. The crocodiles are learning and they're like no, fuck off. They're learning.

Well, dude, like that 95% of anything that we try never works to that efficacy. Oh, look, this is cool. There's a little picture of how they've done it. They've got a couple sticks out there and there's a chicken breast hanging from one and a nausea-inducing cane toves hanging from the other. It's funny because it sounds so scientific.

And then you look it and you're like, oh, it sticks in the mud. It's stick, chicken breast, dead toad. Yeah, that's it. But it's pretty cool. I mean, anything like that that we can teach things not to eat them. Yeah, same lives. We may have covered this, but how did cane toads get there originally? So by now you all know that doer, we all love them.

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anything less than natural delicious energy. Australia is one of the largest sugar cane, so sugar producing countries in the world. sugar canes from Central America where cane beetles live. So when they imported cane, sugar cane into Australia to grow it in that perfect climate, they had a massive outbreak of cane beetles killing the crop. So they're like, hey, how do we get rid of these cane beetles? I know, let's bring in cane toads that eat cane beetles. Gotcha.

And then, of course, in Central and South America, where the cane toads are from, they have tons of natural predators that know how to avoid it and don't get sick from it. In Australia, they have none. It's insane. But it was intentional, introduction. Right, but it's crazy that the cane toad is a known, known toxic animal. And like, even though it's going to kill all the cane beetles because that's what it eats, they didn't like weigh it and say, but it's also toxic to the native animals.

Do you know what time period it was that they brought them in? No, I'm sure Kyle could pull it up. But it was before, like, conservation was a thing that we thought of. You know what I mean? It was like industrialization. How do we grow? How do we make sure that we get as much sugar cane as possible? It was 1935, you know, it's a long time ago.

So it's not like there was a lot of foresight or thought about like what are going to be the environmental ramifications. Yeah, for sure. Nobody thought of that during the industrial times, right? It was just like build, build, build, like grow, grow, and adding cane toads was part of that. Like probably the guy who came up with it was probably like, I'm a genius for doing this. This is going to solve the whole problem. Yeah. I mean, if you think about like the American environmental movement, like it barely just got started in like the 1870.

And even in the early 1900s, it still wasn't really a thing. They were like, you know, John Muir started the, what are they called the Sierra. The Muir Woods, right? Yeah, Mir Woods. But like the, what's the Sierra group called? Sierra Nevados? Yeah, shit. Sierra Club.

Oh, Sierra Club. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were kind of considered cooks. And it was like a new idea. Yeah. Like the idea of preserving land for future enjoyment. Yeah. And it was all centered around so that people.

can, it wasn't like there's an intrinsic value in protecting this land and this habitat. Right. It was, let's protect this resource for future generations to enjoy this resource. Well, yeah. And then you had, beauty. And then Teddy Roosevelt is the one who started the National Parks effort, right? Yes. Sort of.

He fixed it in a lot of ways. I mean, it was started in 1872. Basically, this guy, Ferdinand Hayden, was sort of his idea who was a geologist. But Roosevelt during his whistlestop tour, you know, Roosevelt became the youngest president of the U.S. at age 42 because I think it was McKinley was assassinated in Buffalo, New York. And so he was actually going for his first election and took this big whistle stop tour to drum up votes and stopped at Yellowstone, stopped at Yosemite and spent three nights. He basically showed up. There's all these people

ready for all these big events and he just fucked off into Yosemite with John Muir. That's right. Go play in the woods. Fucking dude, like going through like five huge snowstorms. I love it. People didn't know where the president was. He, like, failed on the Secret Service and everything. Just was out of the picture, snuck out a window at, like, a party or something. How epic is that? How epic is like, fuck this. I'm going to go hang out in the woods with my buddy. Go hunt a bison. I'm not going to hang out with all these losers. Yeah. Oh, my God. Could you imagine?

How military's in there. The president and like look at some of the articles from like the San Francisco Chronicle and stuff during those couple days where he was gone. The headlines are like, president is missing. Yeah. No, dude, but I mean. Freak Snowstorm and they're like, the president's missing and there's five feet of snow. And he's camping. I love it. With John Muir.

Yeah. Dude, could you imagine if that was never set up? I would pay 90% of my actual savings to have Teddy Roosevelt be the president again. Oh, my God. Such a badass. It's so cool. You'd be like, we're done with weapons. We're using the ones I used back in the day.

Rifles. Muskets for all. Fascinating guy. And cramines from the Civil War. Pretty funny, man. Like Roosevelt's one of the most accomplished authors, probably in American history, about like 40 plus books. Really? Oh, yeah.

I didn't even know that. What's you writing about? River of Doubt, baby. It's like one of the best books ever. What's River of Doubt about? It's about his trip down the Amazon. Okay. It's so good.

So a lot of like wildlife wilderness kind of stuff. Yeah. And then like a lot of stuff because he was in the Navy, like naval war books and shit like that. Oh, wait. Did he not write River of Doubt? Do I sound like a complete idiot? Is that somebody else who wrote it about his expedition? Oh, maybe.

Yeah, whatever. Don't care. It's still epic. Yeah. But he, dude, look, look up Teddy Roosevelt, birds of the Adirondacks. So Roosevelt. Let's watch Kyle spell all these words. Arodondacks.

So he was from a wealthy family in Manhattan and was miserably asthmatic. Okay. Oh, really? Terrible asthma. Interesting. And so his family takes him the best doctor. And what do you think they said? Go to a drop.

climate. No. No. Now, there's a couple fuck-ups. Uh, go to wet climate. Go bird watching in the other end. No. Smoke cigars. Oh, yeah, of course. No, because that was the thing back then, right? Yeah, smoke, smoke something. Smoke cigars. He was prescribed to drink

some shots of whiskey. Get out of here. Swear to God. Oh my goodness. A doctor was like, he should get out of the city and spend some time in nature. And so he grew this love for nature. And he goes off to Harvard and he spends, you think of Harvard. He spends two summers in the Adirondacks writing his first book called. Oh, awesome.

I think it's called Summer Birds of the Adirondacks by Teddy Roosevelt. Love it. I read it. I printed it out. Did you really? Is it a birding guide or is it his stories from being in the Adirondacks? First book, Harvard Kid, two summers to write it. You'd think so, right?

Yeah. It's four pages. It's just a list of the birds he saw. Love that. That's epic. It's badass. Good for a list of birds. He's like, here's a brown one and here's a green one.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It just goes to show you, man. You know, these stereotypes of people that are successful, everybody's got their own unique tale. Yeah, exactly. So those kind of prescriptions, and maybe my mom's doctor was just a loon,

but if you think about it, they're not that long ago. And I'll tell you my example, my mom the other day came down, and our little baby just turned one. He's teething like crazy. Yeah. And she came down to our house, and he's teething, and she goes,

just rub some whiskey on his gums. I'm like, excuse me? She's like, here, just grab a teaspoon of whiskey and rub it on his gums. I was like, I will not do that. The fact that you even questioned it, I'm like, Forrest would just be like, okay. To be honest, my wife was the one who said, no. I was going to say, you were like, oh, let's try it. Yeah, I don't give a shit.

But I asked her, like, what lunacy are you talking about? And she's like, I used to do this to you all the time. The doctor told me to do it. Just take a teaspoon of whiskey and rub it on your gums. And I was like, you would feed me a teaspoon of whiskey, like, as an infant. And she's like, yeah, but only like once a week. I was like, that's insanity that a doctor told you to do that. Well, that's how it was back then.

That was 35 years ago. Wasn't that long ago? It's not that long. The other thing is like, is like, I mean, is it really that bad? I don't know. I mean, it works. You have the kid goes to sleep. You get a nice restful night.

Yeah, but I don't think you should be shoving hard liquor into your toddler's mouth. I guess to rub it on their gums a little bit. I mean, I haven't done it, but I've thought about it. I'm against it. There was a study. It stunts the growth of the amygdala part of the brain. Oh. There we go. The poop is in the pudding right here.

All right. I'm going to call my mom teller to do it right now. Should we do? Should we do? Do you want your kid to have an amygdala? No. I want mine, too. They're girls and I just don't want them to get hurt.

Yeah, that's smart. Can we do a game? Have we done a game yet? We should. Kyle, do a game ready? What is this one? Cousin fucking tarnation. How bizarre.

God, I love this. How bizarre! All right. Okay, with the jingles. Thank you. They're so good. I love him. We are going to do bizarre.

Animal of the Week. Okay. Okay. How bizarre. Let's lock it. Let's get this one. Hell bizarre. We're going to do a teamwork here.

How does this game work, guys? Well, here's how it works. I say some clues. You try and guess what our bizarre animal of the week is. Okay. Play along at home. Yes. Here we go.

All right. And also this game is called, Can You, the listener, beat the producer and the row faster. That's it. Can you get it faster than we can. That's how it goes. Here we go. No cheating.

Oh, look at Kyle chugging a magic mind back there. He's playing. along. Yeah, he wants to be on point. All right, bizarre animal the week. Clue number one. This muscular creature is often referred to as the pit bull of its kind, known for its powerful and stocky bill.

I think I might know. If you say pit bull, you're wrong. No, go ahead, Peter. Well, I try to think of the name of it, kangaroo. Why is that always your first guess for absolutely everything regardless of the situation? It's like a stocky muscular animal. They are muscular. You got kangies on the mind.

Yeah, he does. I think he does. I think he's a lot. It's a big muscular bovid called a, I'm going to pronounce it wrong, called a, a guar. Oh, the guar. The gar. The guy. Pronounce correctly, but that's, fuck. Ha ha!

Okay. All right. It is big and muscular, also as known as the pit bull of its kind. It has a broad chest, heavily muscled hindquarters, giving an appearance of raw strength. These hindquarters, brother. What are you talking about here? Just like some nice big buttock, thick trunk. It's got a big buttock and a robust chest.

I'm thinking four-legged like mammal, right? Or are you thinking something else? It's a little hard to say right now. I thought I had it on the first guess. I'm going to go with a, you know what? I think he's trying to trick us by how simple it is. It's just a big old, don't see. Just a big old mountain gorilla.

Okay. It's not. I'm going to go with a Clydesdale. These are good guesses, though. Your heads are in a good place. This animal is prized for its robust physique, but more so than its musculature is the fact that it can thrive in many different environments,

making it highly valued. Okay. Highly valued. Okay, so people want it. Yep. Yeah. So it's a quarter horse. Quarter horses are small.

I think. Big and strong, I think. You just thought of that because of the word hindquarters. That's probably correct. Yeah, I mean, I know you want to like to. I'm going to have to pick a very, very strong hindquartered animal.

I'll call it a hippopotam. Elephant. A nilfres. I hate that buzzards. It's the pit bull of its kind. The pit bull of its kind. So there's other kinds. So it's big.

It's muscular. it's the pit bull of its kind. It can live in various environments. It's valued for this. So what if I told you, it's a livestock animal. Ah, I know what it is. The livestock. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. It's a mule. He's sleeping on the job over there. I'm going with a oxen.

Ox? There's good guesses. Give me a fucking clue that helps. Okay? What if I told you? The noise makes it, you very, like, I get very angry. Kyle. All right, so we're not there yet. It's a livestock animal. You did say oxen, and I'll tell you this, it is something that you eat.

Well, sure, it's livestock. Who eats it? No, but you can milk livestock. You can get wool from livestock. You're right. Would I have eaten it? Unlikely. It's an elk.

Teter? I can't with that. Don't do it again. Do it so many more times. I need to get it right. I'm going a moose. All right, here we go. I'm going to sum it up for you.

We got two more clues. So this muscular creature defined as the pit bull of its kind is bread to be eaten. It also has a robust physique that makes it able to thrive in various environments, and it can grow up to 300 pounds. That's pretty big. Pretty big. Did you say where it's from? Not yet.

For food, though, it's not that big. 300 pounds is not next. How about this? I'll tell you this. I'll feed you, baby birds. It's from Europe. Does that do anything for you? I'm going to go with a...

Oh, I know. I'll say maybe... Okay, maybe not exactly this will help you. A pig of some sort of. A hog. I think... A highland cow? These are all good guesses.

All right, we're going to narrow it down here. Last clue. Big pit bull-like creature. Bread for meat, blah, blah, blah. Getting pissed off. What if I told you this? It has and produces wool. A sheep.

It's a specific kind of a small horn sheep. It's the, uh, schmeep, the, the, Belgian sheep. Kind of close.

Give him a, give him a ding ding for that. Because it's the Bell Tex sheep. Which is a sheep from Belgium. Look at this ugly ass thing. It's a pit bull. Yeah. It's a pit bull of a sheep.

Look at it. It's a pit bull face on a pig body. It's so ugly. This is the Bell tech sheep. That's a real animal, by the way. With kangaroo, you're pretty close on the face. I was also pretty close with pig.

It's just a, you know, it's a dog-looking pig. Wait, did you know about this thing? Not really. Did we create this animal? I don't know. I don't know much about it, to be quite honest. By the way, I want to see one with full wool. That's it.

There you go. It's a very ugly sheep. Dude, that's how will fuck you up. Have you ever seen the fat bottom sheep? Have you ever seen those big fat-bottom sheep? Yeah, I heard the song. Yeah. Fat-bottom sheep.

Look at this thing. Look at that. You ever seen these? That's a real animal. What do they harvest the butt meat? I don't even know. I only saw this recently, because I don't know much about domestic animals. Look at the crack.

It's called a dumba or a fat-tailed sheep, and it's got that crazy. Look at that. I'm getting a little, like, horny. He's aroused. Yeah. Look at the bun. That's silly. That was bred by man to, like, some weird sultan that got turned on by it.

For a fetish. Yeah, for sure. I mean, look at those cheeks. The Beltech sheep. Isn't that an interesting creature? If you're only listening, worth a Google, B-E-L-E-X. Very weird. It's a...

Pit bull dog's head on a sheep's body. Why do you think Kyle keeps going back to the zoomed-in close-ups of the big body? I think he just took a screenshot. On the other bookmarked. He's going to flank it. Dude, it looks that one. It looks exactly like the pit bull. They're really ugly.

Is that its penis? What's that big white thing down there? It is. It's nutsack. How scared would you be if you ran into that thing in an alley? I don't know. I could take out of it. It's got legs.

Not a three hundred pounds. You must be joking, dude. He would kill you. Now, look at those legs. They're toothpicks. Three hunts. That's a hunts. It's a gun.

It's like a 300 pound hot dog traversing towards me. Check that Edwin fact. I don't believe they get 300 pounds. All these things look about 50 pounds. I like how in your mind, Peter, you would without fail, have flawless technique to get it wrapped up. No, I'm just saying I'd give it like a leg sweep or something, you know, those little tiny toothpick legs. Speaking of sheep, did I tell you guys that my son just competed at mutton busting in the Santa Barbara rodeo? No. What is mutton busting? You don't know? No. I didn't talk about this. I'm so proud of it. them. Mutton busting is an age old American tradition where little kids, instead

of riding a bucking bull or bronco, ride a sheep. It's hilarious. By the way, how this has never been turned into a show, a reality show, I have no idea. Because it is, you have to be drunk. Maybe that's why. The kids? The kids have to be drunk.

Okay, I'm just making sure. If you're three or four beers deep and you're sitting at a rodeo and you watch toddlers climb on sheep, it's the funniest fucking, my abs abs were sore from laughing. Anyways, I've got a little video here. We can talk through it. It's only 20 seconds. This is my son at the Santa Barbara rodeo.

He's four years old, by the way. Roads at the rodeo. Look how little he is compared to all that. He looks a little nervous. Oh, thank God he's got a helmet on. They insisted. I said no. Is that a Kevlar jacket? Yep.

No. There he goes. That's it. There he goes. Godonk. He gets run over by the sheep. He was about to cry. He was like, I'm scared.

And then I was like, clap for the audience. And he did the, uh, Did the little wave. You know your cowboy hat and shirt. Oh yeah. Did the shirt. There we are. We did the whole thing.

You got a yoo out of it. Yeah. So how long was he on like maybe two and a half seconds? He was on 7.5 seconds to win the silver buckle. The kid who won the gold buckle was on for 8.2 seconds and was seven years old. He came second out of like 60 kids. He's four. And he's four.

And the kid who won was seven. I was very proud of him. Damn. I got to be proud. Do you guys have a sheep? We don't. I thought about buying one just to train him for this purpose. I swear to God.

I think you kind of need to. It's really funny, dude, mutton busting if you haven't seen it. Yeah, like, Kyle, see if you can pull up a video of like the world record mutton buster. Dude, I just want to see a kid who just can't be bucked off. Yeah, it's so funny watching these kids cling onto these sheep, though. And, you know, Santa Bar is probably not the height of the mutton busting world. Probably not. Yeah, so the fact that he even came second was just a pure fluke.

But 60 kids, I mean, that's a five-year-olds set the world record. Yes, I do. Here he goes. Look at him. Look at him. That kid's huge for his size. Yeah, that kid's a monster. Look at him.

Oh, you're corrected. You see that? He's coming off the side of the sheep. Runs into the other herd. Yeah. That's good stuff. It was still only like maybe 12, 13 seconds. Look, he's also about, they're always about to cry when they fall off.

And then you have to run in his dad and be like, say hi. And then they forget they're going to cry. He's like, you just set the world record, boy. Well, what do you think this kid's going to end up doing in his life? riding bulls. Do you think so? Yeah, that's what you do. It's a cowboy thing.

So Rhodes is going to be a cowboy? No, he's a rhinestone cowboy like me. He wears the shirt and hat once a year and goes to the rodeo. He's a Santa Barbara cowboy. He's a hipster cowboy. Yeah, exactly. I go to a kitchy party every so often. You wear skinny jeans to the rodeo.

Oh, man. I got a cowboy hat. I wasn't able to wear it today because the headphones wouldn't fit. We tried to encourage you to wear it. Dude, it is a spot. Just Forrest and I will carry on. Just go get it. Yeah, pop it on for the people.

Can you bring it into them? It looks real good. Yeah, pop it on for the people. It's his new thing. He wore it to lunch earlier. He looked delightful. Many old ladies commented on how nice that was. Take a look at this.

Sorry if you're only listening, but it's a charcoal gray hat with quite a few metal adornments. Indeed. No, it's lovely. It's not quite shaped like a cowboy hat, but it's also not all the way to a lady's sun hat. It's somewhere in between. Right in between.

And there's an Indiana Jones element to it. There is. Thank you. It's the, I think it's the buckles. I mean, listen, I, you know, I didn't plan on this. I didn't plan on this. It was given to me as a gift because my very thoughtful mother-in-law must have overheard me talking about how I have a hat. The brim is too little, but it's like one of these.

And then I have another hat that has a giant hole in it and it's too loose on my head. So my hair is always in my face and it's terrible. So she went out and bought me this perfectly fitted cowboy hat. And it's like, it's, it's, it's. It's practically per, like in practicality, it's perfect because it blocks the sun perfectly. But I can't wear this out. What are you talking about? You just wore it to lunch.

It looks awesome. Yeah. But I mean, like, what do people think? They think you're a fucking scary motherfucker. All right, I'll wear it. I think they're like, I'm not really going to mess with that guy. I wish my wife would think that I could start smoking cigarettes. By the way, unprompted.

Kyle just pulled up a Google image of Stevie Ray Vaughn. And you do have an uncanny resemblance to Stevie Ray Vaughn. I wish I had the musical. Do you ever see Stevie? Stevie Ray Vaughn, probably most of our audience is too young to know. Indeed. Known as one of the greatest shredders on the electric guitar of all time. Look at his sausage fingers.

Oh, really? Big old meat tenders? Yeah. Look at that. Huh. Yeah. That is not conducive to finger picking, boy. It's not interesting.

I wonder if those are just jacked finger muscles. No, I bet I bet he's a picker. I mean, like he uses the picker. He uses those meat paws to play the fretboard, but. he's he's using a pick on those dude i saw hilarious picture uh i don't know if you guys have ever seen the episode of seinfeld where she's got manhands oh yeah and he literally like he he wants he likes her he thinks she's a great girl just kind of stand her man hands and he's like i i think i have to break up with her they show like a scene uh it's a pretty famous scene where she's cracking

like a lobster open with her giant and they use the real guy's hands i'm It's like Costanza's hands. Yeah. That's supposed to be her hands. Dude, I saw, no, I saw the hand model that they used. And he's like this insane. If you bring it up, Kyle, the hand model they used for this if you can. But he's like just this big ass burly guy.

Of course. It's very ridiculous. It's so funny, dude. Look at there's a lobster picture of her. I get it though. Like, I get. Look at those eight paws, dude. Those are bananas.

Look at the little bracelet. There was a guy that. that used to work at the gym that I'd go to, who was, he was a big guy, don't get me wrong, he's probably 6'5, big dude, look like a former NFL player. Yeah. And he'd shake your hands,

and it was like you were shaking hands with a bushel of bananas. Like, it would just like engulf your entire hand. And I've never felt, two things. One, I've never felt more emasculated than shaking his hands. And two, the only thing I could think about

was the size of his penis. Because I was like, this guy must just be hung like a horse. Like, it doesn't make sense. Dude, it was so emasculating. And I literally, to this day, I don't remember his name, but me and Graber, who used to go to the gym to get every day, called him Banana Fingers. Because we didn't know it. We couldn't remember his real name, but we're like, hey, how's Banana Fingers doing today?

I got, I'll tell you. Dude, it was bonkers how big his hands were. As a man with decently sized hands, like a bigger man, I've got a very average-sized penis. So I wouldn't. There's no correlation. You don't think B-Fingers was hung? No, and I know, and I don't think so, because I do think, and I hear this, that, like, very, skinny, small men will have like a giant

hoagy. Nah, that's just in proportion. You're just looking at it in proportion. This derailed. I'll tell you, I'll tell you this. Every time I see your truck, I can't stop thinking about your pecker. Oh my God. I gotta get the unblurred footage from naked into fraud. All right. You know what? Let's play our game. Our game.

Battle Royale. Kyle Jingle. That's right. Wild times. You guys, the game is out. It's dropping. People are Do you know what time it is? Terail, boy. Oh, yeah. The game has been delivered to many Broasters and sisters the world around. Well, actually just in the U.S. so far, but people are loving it.

They are sending in pictures, enjoying it with their families, their kids, their friends, game nights all over the place, man, the Battle Royale game we spent, well, who cares? Let's play it. It's fun. So here's the thing. There's a lot of cards in there. It's really cool. We got special abilities.

We got different animals. We're not going to go through the whole thing right now because it is a time commitment, but there are some very cool cards in here. I pulled out the first scenario card. We're going to wing it from here. Sound good? Done.

Sounds amazing. Here's the scenario. Talk to the mic. Thank you. Build a creature that will help you get reach. Get reach? Build a creature that will help you get rich and explain how.

Oh, wow. Interesting. I like this one. Okay, you go first. All right, so I mean. Snake draft. Okay, snake draft. So I just get one.

So I get, obviously, get three. or four because we're going. No, head body legs. Okay, head body legs. I'm confused because I don't have the cards. All right. So here we go. My animal, I'm in the tech world.

I'm less in the animal world than you guys are. So what I'm going for here is media. Entertainment value. I'm starting a YouTube channel. I'm building a creature and it is going to have the head of an eye eye. Okay. Because it's odd. It's odd.

an odd animal's YouTube channel. Yeah, yeah. I knew you were going to go the YouTube route. I knew you were going to do it. Makes sense. Yeah. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to go. I took it, baby. All right. I'm going to take the head of a brown bear, but not to make it ferocious and scary.

It's because I want its ability to smell. Interesting. I want its ability to smell a hundred times better than a bloodhound. I need that for what I'm going to do with it. I hope you and I aren't doing the same thing. That would be bad. Okay. All right. I'll go next. Again, I'm going to be the richest of all of you and I'll explain why. By starting with the body of an orca. You can't even fit that on camera, mate.

It's going to be big. Nope. It's going to be big. Body of an orca. Big and useless on land. Useless on land. Completely and utterly useless on land. Sounds like an expensive production. However, this creature is going to have the limbs of an octopus. Fascinating. So it's a freak show. It's a very large one. Indeed. And you'll understand why once we get back to me.

Dying, know how it's going to make you money other than going into shipwreckage. Oh, it's going to make me some money, boy. Using its tentacles. All right. So, okay. So I'm going to take the body. I want mine to be small because it all scales to the body

but I don't want to be too tiny. I'm going to take the body of a tit mouse. That is small. It's going to be this tiny brown bear head on the body of a tit mouse. Okay.

Cute little body. A lovely little bird. Indeed. Okay. It's up to you. Oh, I thought I would have a snake drafter. Good Lord. What do I have two now?

Try not to have your head explode. Patrick. Usually the game comes with. instructions. So I think I'm up for two, I think. I don't know. But I will say this. My animal is not only just going to be a very, like, odd-looking creature, so it's

good for the camera. It will also have an amazing ability to play racquetball. And in order to be able to do that, it will have the body of a chimpanzee. Okay. So you're talking about a YouTube channel right now. cool so far. Chimp body with an I-I-Eye head's very cool. It's called I A-chimp? That's the name of the channel.

Hey, chimp. And then what else are you going to stick on there? Well, so finally, what? No, I was just going to laugh because that was it. It's A-Chimp. No matter what you add, his name is now A-Chimp. It's a very highly trained chimp-a-chimperu because it's going to be a kangaroo. He can play with the best of them. So it's got the body. It needs limbs, right? It needs some kind of limbs.

What would be good limbs for for something that needs to play? Chimps limbs would have been great, but you can't use that now. A chilms. Got your chimps limbs. Yeah, you're right. I was thinking you'll be able to use the limbs. I didn't mean the body.

So what I will use now, oh boy. It will need. He fucked up. Oh, when I said body, I thought I meant limbs, but I guess I didn't. Fuck you, Kyle. I will say this. I will give it then the limbs of a squid. Okay.

A bunch of tentacles. You know, so get a hold the racket, right? Sure. Sure, I get hold a bunch of rackets. I like how you were trying to go octopus. You're like, fuck, he's got octopus. It's horrible. I've lost.

So you've got this freakish creature and you're going to teach it to play a sport. Why did you pick one of the more obscure, unpopular sports? I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this. That's, you literally just wanted me the game because the name of my YouTube channel is called Freakish creature. I thought it was I chimp. I thought it was I chimp too. Frickest creature.

Okay. Frickus creature. And he's just going to play racquetball on YouTube for millions of views? Well, he's going to play racquetball. He'll do other things. He's an entertainer. That'll be the viral vids. Okay.

All right. That's how he's making his money. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Patrick? I'm still angry with Kyle. Human's not really a cool thing to pick, right? Nah. That ain't it.

That ain't it. Not even Bobby Flee. I know. It's kind of flay. So, all right. So I've got this tiny little tip mouse body with a bear's head and scent ability. And I'm going to give it the limbs. What's got,

What's got really good digits? I need something with really good digits that it can control. The eye eye has a good finger. I know, but you picked it. What's a finger? It's got some nice little fingers. Spider monkey. Yeah, I'm going to give it the limbs of a spider monkey on my tiny tip mouse body.

Okay. And it's going to have this incredible scentability. And it is going to be a tiny chef. I know it. This incredible ability to smell and taste. I wanted Bobby Fleck. Thousands of times, 50,000 times better than a human. And it's going to make these immaculate, beautiful little tiny meals.

Micro dishes. Yeah, we're going to open a restaurant where you go in and you're served on these tiny, beautiful meals. There's a magnifying glass on each menu. And you're going to look, it's going to look like nothing. And then you look in the magnifying glass and it's beautiful. It'll make you full or will there be calories in it? You'll have to eat a lot. It's an interactive experience.

It's a lot and it's not going to be cheap. It's a better idea for YouTube, honestly, because I've seen channels where they make time food. It will also have. I'm going to monetize it in every way. You guys are going to need to team up because I'm going to win and I'll explain why. Because my orca-bodied creature with octopus limbs is going to have the trained head of a California sea lion. And here's why. Because the military uses trained California sea lions to detect bombs and underwater threats.

But now on the body of an orca and with the tentacles of an octopus, it's going to be able to not only detect them, but diffuse and eliminate any threats to the president or the military as a trained underwater. So you're going to lease it out to the U.S. government? I am indeed. It's a, you know, I mean... And we're talking military money here, guys. Yeah. This is big money. It's tough because, like, I see the vision, but I honestly, like, it's a one and a million

shot that they actually want that lease. No way, dude. The military buys anything that can help of it. It's really tough. I mean, I just... $1,200. $1,200 a day. Oh, my God.

You guys just jealous because I won by a little day. By the way, I'd say... $1.200 a day. Maybe if you had an army of these, but please, one. It's the size of an orka. Huge octet. It's going to literally take bombs and just be like,

this thing's going to have the same day rate as an assistant camera guy. I would say this. The nice thing is, is that your animals were so bad and as was mine

that the max net worth of any of these animals is not more than $5,000. So it's a good competition. If you're actually choosing between these three horrible choices. No way. I thought mine was really clever.

It's a lower middle class competition. Look, This has been fun. The game is fun. It is really fun. You guys are fun. Go to wild times. Club forward slash info.

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Dot club forward slash info. Get those ad free podcasts. And they're available on Apple. They're available on Spotify and Patreon. We love you. Wildtimes. combe slash info. See it.

See it, AnimalCon. No problems here. Yeah. whatever it is. That's right. That's right. Next week, son. Next week.

It's in like four days. Yeah. I'll see you there, Andy Gabbard. You turd. You rode on my butt. You guys are going to drink so much. Bye.