Wild Times: Wildlife Education - "Extinct" Animal CAUGHT In Australia - The Wild Times Ep. 129

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

This week we discuss an "extinct" animal that was trapped in Australia, invasive ankle-biting mosquitos in LA, and play Bizarre Animal of the Week. And don't forget to get in your Prize Picks! Go to https://www.prizepicks.com/wild and use code wild for a first deposit match up to $100! Leatherman Arc - Shop Now: https://www.leatherman.com/arc-702.htmlSubscribe to The Wild Times Podcast on YouTube ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Get YouTube Membership Perks ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVl7fHhUOpFK8Mpv-6DdoOg/join Get Up To 4 Bonus Podcasts Per Month ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod Watch More Episodes Here ▶▶ https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP... Visit https://thewildtimespodcast.com/ now! Join The Wild Times Discord Server: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9Db Get your Wild Times Podcast merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Leave a review on iTunes Apple Podcast: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/itune... Follow The Wild Times Podcast on socials: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildtimespod/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespod witter: https://twitter.com/WildTimesPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/ Enjoy, brosteners! TWT 129 - The Breakdown 00:00 - Intro 02:58 - Smelling Salts 05:26 - Spotted Tail Quoll Found in South Aus 08:30 - Guy in Montana Mauled by a grizzly bear 10:29 - How is Forrest going to die? 16:37 - Animal Sound Game 28:30 - Leatherman Giveaway | What's In The Drybag? 35:04 - Invasive Ankle Biting Mosquitos in LA 38:52 - BAOTW 45:20 - Hyena Pet? 50:21 - Battle Royale Jingles made by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-tire/ #wildtimespod #podcast

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129. It's a lot of episodes. Feels like a lot too. It's a lot. With you guys. 129 all over an hour. That's a lot of hours. Well, plus, include the bonus pods that are on Patreon and Spotify.

It's like 300 hours hanging out with you, gents. Drink a million hours, roughly. So it feels like. What are you drinking? Are we drinking delicious carbon neutral alternatively powered fat tire beer? It's the middle of the day. Since 1991, baby. We're in a garage.

If we were in the middle of a garage. If we were in the middle of a garage. This is all you would do. Yeah. It's differences in the Midwest, man, you get the snow, you open up the garage door, you get the space heater sitting next to you. True. You sit in the garage and you just watch other people shovel their driveways. That made me feel cozy and nostalgic when you describe it.

Do you miss that? Do you miss a Chicago winter where you're in a basement drinking a lukewarm beer? Well, that sounds awful. I do like going back for just a couple weeks in the wintertime. By the way, speaking of winter. I'm obese. I've started the as fat as you can challenge of 2023. It's, hey, I'm telling you.

Speaking of winter, I'm obese. October hits and you're just like, fuck it. It's just like, yeah, can't lift weights, can't do anything, can just eat and drink wine and beer. You have no excuse for that. We live in Southern California. It's 90 degrees outside right now.

I was born and raised in the Midwest. I do have an excuse, sir. All right. What's going on with you guys? What's new? What's exciting? Who are we? Did we introduce ourselves?

Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. I'm your host, Forrestalante, the broologist as ever joining me live from Patrick's Garage directly to my left, the one and only, Papa P himself, the producer, Pat. Back from Florida, feeling great, happy to be home. Not so humid here. No, but I like the humid.

You do, that's very weird. I'm a humid guy. And far left, the man with boobs, the one who's calling himself obese early on. Don't laugh at that, Kyle, that's mean. I'm a mean guy. PhD in podcasting, re-tep. I'm doing good. I think I already did my intro. I can't stop eating and I have a child and I'm always tired. So that's my life these days. Happy to be here. Oh, man. This is going to be a good one. We got some games. Yeah, we got Bizarre Animal of the Week. We got a battle royale. We've got a sweet contest that we're announcing.

Oh, yeah, dude, I forgot. Our brosters are going to share some stories and win a very cool prize. That's big. So that's fun. Stay tuned. Stay tuned for that. If you like prizes. Yep. I do. Yeah. Love them. I got to say, this is the best time of year, man. Yeah. Because here's what happens. October hits. And just the weather just gets a little cooler.

It's holiday season. You and the holiday. Decoration start coming out, officially starting. This is it. This is my time of year. This is your time to shine. There's no doubt about it. You're a little groggy this morning, though.

I was. Dude. Can we talk about this? I think it's illegal. Peter has a new baby. Yeah. I got like two hours. is asleep last night for different reasons.

Forrest walks in, he's like, you guys looking a little, uh, little low tea, huh? And, uh, low tea? Peter's like, yeah. And Forrest says, if, if I promise you this won't hurt you, will you trust me implicitly and snort something? No. And you said, no, I don't trust you. So many times.

And I kept asking and kept asking. And then we did it anyway. Kyle, give me that one right there. Oh, shit. You got more of these? What were you doing? And what did we do? Smelling salts.

So I've been getting these Pure 0.3 milletre inhalants, respiratory stimulants. You've been stealing them from ambulances, right? I've been trying to. They've been catching me. They are so good if you need to wake up. Who's taking it?

I'll do another one. I don't care. Okay. Can I come and administer it? Sure, of course. But don't show your butt to the camera. You have to come back around here. He wouldn't let me do this earlier.

Well, because I thought you were coming and going to smack me the ball. I fell down. I'm concerned I'm going to fall. You actually fell over when I made. Twice. For those of you've never done a smelling salt, it is a wild. Don't shove it up my fucking nose. I'm not going to.

Just let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Breathe all the air out of your house. No. Come on, go. Diculous. God.

It's the dumbest thing that... Men are stupid, even in our fucking 40s and late 30s. Woof. Oh, brutal. Yeah, it gets wet and it comes. Good job. All right, let's do some news. Let's do some animal news.

That was awful. I'm a big fan. I'm ready. I'm ready. Yeah, talk to your life. Those wake you. You don't tire now. No.

Right up. What's going on in the animal world? All right. Sorry. I'm telling you, if you're trying to get a workout in, you're feeling kind of low. Oh, yeah. Start power lifting with that shit. Yeah.

That jacks you right up. But now we're just like those fucking annoying, high energy guys. I don't care. I don't care. I like it. Everybody's tuned out. Weenie in the butt. What's in the news? I think there's some extinct animals. Yeah, this was pretty exciting about every single grosser that we have tagged me at Instagram or TikTok post about this.

Spot and Tale Quall thought extinct in the South Australia region for over 130 years. Oh, wow. 130 years. Fuck, century. Was caught on a camera by a farmer. in Beachport, South Australia. Sorry, it wasn't caught on a trap. She trapped it accidentally.

Oh, my God. Yeah, was caught in a trap. But because there was an animal that was raiding their chicken coop, and the person kept thinking it was a fox or something like that that was coming in a raiding the chicken coop, set out a little box trap. Bam, spotted tail quall. First time in 130 years sitting in this. Show me with your hands how big a quall is.

So it was about as big as a bread box as they used to say. Did you say a bread box? That's what you used to say. Is it bigger than a bread box? This is a fucking cool animal, man. Oh, they're awesome. Oh, dude, like, this is the coolest thing I've seen on the podcast. Pretty significant.

So do you think this is what was eating as chickens? Oh, no question. Yeah, they're voracious little predators next to the thylacine. They're the largest marsupial carnivore left. Wow. And, yeah, bigger than, what do you call it? A Tasmanian devil. Right.

And, yeah, no, they're voracious. I got to film them when I was in. Tasmania on the pilot of Extincter Alive, and they're super cool. So, uh, yeah, you'll be okay. It'll pass. Oh, no, it feels good. Are they, are they in the zoo? Do they have them in the zoo? They just aren't found in the wild? No, well, they're extinct in this region in South Australia. They're regionally extinct. Gotcha. So they didn't think there were any at all. They know that there's, nationally,

there are fewer than 5,000 left, period, in the whole world. But they didn't think there were any in South Australia. So to just find one in a trap by a chicken coop, thinking there was an invasive fox was pretty exciting. Dude, it's exciting because whenever we talk about this stuff, I feel like there'll be some shitty trail cam footage of it, but it's in a trap and like a clear HD picture of it. So what do you do if it's you? Because obviously they want to find out if it's part of like a bigger population or something.

Are you putting a little GPS collar on them, letting them go? I would think so. I mean, I'm curious what the National Park and Wildlife Service is going to do. I would think you put a little tracking collar on it. Obviously you set out a ton more cameras in the area with baits. You know, you need to identify. that animal in one way or another, so a collar or something so that you don't just catch that one over and over and try and do a population survey. And, you know, if there is something to it,

you set up some sort of safe area to try and bounce for population back. Because this could be an entire, not could be, it is obviously an entirely isolated population of these animals. Yeah. Which is very exciting. So it needs to be, you know, I was going to say, how do they get, how far is the nearest known population to this one, like is. Oh, I'm not sure. Probably a few hundred miles. A few hundred miles. Not close. Yeah, but not seen in the area in almost 150 years. Right.

But do you think one snuck over? And that's what happened? No, that would be unlikely. Just more likely they thought they were expatriated from the area. And then a small population has slowly been coming back. Also, if you think about Australia and how it's sort of divided by these different habitats, right? So you've got these huge. Major geographical barriers.

Yeah. Did you see that a guy in Montana who was assisting in a white, deer hunt got mauled by a grizzly bear? No, recently. Wow. Yeah, I feel like this happens all the time. It happens a lot, but I thought this was interesting. So he gets mauled by this bear, which bit him on the face. Oh my God.

Tor his lower jaw off. Oh. And the guy, for whatever reason, is doing like a press conference or something, he, like, got it reattached and fake teeth put in and all this stuff. Still can't talk. So they're asking him questions, and he's writing on a whiteboard. he's writing out his answers. Okay.

And he's got like this amazing sense of humor about it. They're like, can you describe the bear attack? And he's like, yeah, it's the second worst French kiss I ever had in my life. That's genius. Like he's like making jokes about it. This guy's a stud. No, that's on point. Humor is the only way to combat things like that.

I think that's fantastic. He also, where he was, I was really surprised reading the story, he didn't get to the rescue chopper for until three hours after the attack. And his face was just dangling. Holy shit, dude. But his jaw clean off. That is the fucking most insane thing. How painful would that be?

That would be one of the most painful things you could ever experience. It's actually remarkable. He didn't just pass out, to be honest. Yeah, I wonder. You know, if shock just sets in and you don't even really know, you just know that you're bleeding and your face is gone. Got so much adrenaline. You're feeling it, but it's not like, you're not lying there, like in a hospital bed. Well, it's got to feel.

So much adrenaline going on. It's got to feel quite strange to scream with no bottom jaw. I'll say that. Yeah, that's brutal. But I thought it was terrible. He was, you know, instead of like the woes me treatment, he was like, it's way better. Pat, let me ask you a question. Do you think, I think something like this is going to happen to forest eventually.

I don't know what it is. Like, it might not be this. But what do you think, what would be like for you if you found out like the most badass way that something terrible happened to forest? Okay, that's a different. I thought you were going to ask what I think is the most likely? Okay, that's fine. I think the likeliest thing is he's going to get tagged by a venomous snake. Now, I don't think he's going to die from it.

Yeah, yeah. That's already happened several times. But, you know, you meet these, you meet herps and snake people all the time. And you say, what's the most venomous snake you've ever been bitten by? And everyone's got, like, two or three stories. You got tagged when you were a teenager. Yep. What was that?

A rhombic knight adder. First podcast number one has that story. I still remember. So I think Venetianian. The animus snake is what's likeliest to happen. Yeah. The most badass thing that could happen and he survives. Like this guy got his jaw ripped off and screamed into the ether.

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what I think. I'll tell you what it's going to be. I don't like this conversation. I'll tell you what it's going to be. He's going to be with a film crew. They're going to be sitting in a blind and they're going to be in the Anamite Mountains of Vietnam. Very specific.

And just sitting in a blind meat tree in the distance. Of course. And a wild tiger is going to come in. Oh my God. That's badass. Camerman Mitch is going to be on a sticks, his long lens, getting beautiful shots.

Maybe Kyle's there. He's on like a 24-mill. It's like useless. He's getting. He's probably filming himself. Backwards. And Forrest is going to go, I need the connecting shot.

I need the connecting shot. Yeah. Right. So the connecting shot because I do this every shoe. Scrupulous wildlife filmmakers will pretend to be looking at an animal and then cut to stock footage of said animal. Okay. So you need a shot where you're over the forest shoulder.

Yeah. And you see him and the animal in the same thing. That's the connecting shot. You know he was there. You know, it's adamant on it. Yeah, he's adamant that he gets the, that Mitch gets the connecting shot. He's going to kind of get out of the blind. The tiger is going to sense that he's there.

It's going to see him. And it's going to come up. it's going to do like a mock charge kind of thing. Do tigers do that? They do. Okay. It's going to mock charge them. And what's going to end up happening is it's going to not bite him,

but it's going to use its giant head and it's going to head butt him and just smash his nose flat against his face. Wow. I take that in a heartbeat. A fucking dope story. Let's get us a claw swipe across the cheek too. So smash nose claw swipe. I think it's just broken nose. I need the scar.

Like one cool like cross the door. Yeah, dude. Like a tattoo. A tattoo? All right, what's your idea? I don't like this conversation. What's yours, Peter? Well, I mean, I haven't thought about it.

I haven't been on nearly as many adventures with Pat, or with you as Pat has. We have, but we're usually drinking absent in a city. Yeah. So, okay, by that standard, we're going to be out, we're going to be out at Red Rocks, seeing a concert venue. Forrest will have had a couple of cocktails be on the verge of blacking out. But somebody's going to pass him over a very strong joint, where it's legal in Colorado. And he is going to fall down on his seat, and the wine bottle that he smuggled in is going to go right up his pooper.

I'm going to keister him. Yeah. And that's, yeah. I mean, that just sounds like a nice, nice way to spend an evening. Yeah. Seems highly likely. I'm not following the problem here. All right.

Well, what do you think that's going to happen? Me? No, I don't think anything. Yeah. He's like, I don't want to think about that. No, I'm good. I did, like, in the middle of that story when you were talking about Kyle, like, holding the camera backwards while he's out filming with you. And he's just looking at you like, he's your fucking mind.

Yeah, I saw him do that. He was like chuckling along and just like, turn your mic around, dickhead. What a good sport. Should we do a game? Oh, my God. Yeah. Games sounds great. Games are a game.

Yeah. Yeah. But I want to mix it up. Okay. All right. It's time for the hot, our hot tips. Our prize picks tips. Brosners have been hitting us up.

I'm winning. Some of us have made really good picks for the winners. Some of us have made no money so far. Yeah. So for those of you who don't know, prize picks, prize picks is the most fun I've had, winning up to 25 times my money for this football season. You just pick two or more players,

pick more or less on their projected stats. Couldn't be easier. And place your entry. It is a really simple way to play. Forest can do it. it. I can do it. You make your picks in less than 60 seconds and just have some fun watching the football games.

I struggle with this less than I struggle with my email. All right. So I'm going to start. Yep. All right. So my pick this week is Josh Allen less than 255. Passing yards. You know why?

He just forces the ball to Stefan Diggs over and over and it's infuriating. And I think the offense is broken. Interesting. You don't like that line drive, huh? I just, I'm, I'm going less than. What do you got? I'm just looking. I'm going to go Lamar Jackson more than 45.5 rushing yards.

Best player on the field. He's going to be down against the lions. Like, I think he's got it. He's on my, he's on my fantasy team. I hope you're right. Forrest had to do research to know that. There's no way he knew that. I'm looking at it right now.

All right. What's yours? Dude, so I'm sticking with my theme of hating the bears because they're, they're the worst team I've ever liked in any sport ever. And I'm going with DJ Mori's less than 58.5 receiving yards, which for me is a no-brainer. The bear stink. All right. For all of you, Brosner, if you're interested, go to prizepicks.com slash wild and use the code, wild for a first deposit match up to $100.

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Tap the banner to switch today. Terms apply, limited time offer subject to change. See Visible.com for plan features and network management details. Let's play a new game. Okay. Let's hear it. It's called... I see what you did there.

The animal sound game. Oh, I knew it! You've got nine sounds and no cheat sheet for me. No cheat sheet for any of us. Dude, we played the animal skull game, and people have DMed me on Instagram, be like, that was the best thing you've ever done. Really? And we couldn't even get one right, so let's see how we do here.

We'll take turns. We'll go in this order. First person to get it, you go first, then I'll go first. So Kyle plays the sound, we all guess, and then Kyle tells us what it is. Yeah. Great. Kyle plays a sound, we all guess. Kyle tells us what it is.

That's how you figure out a new game. You know, it's like when you play your first hand of canasta. You know, you got to play like a mock ground. Yeah, it's a game that is. Okay. Gin Rummy. Ever played Gin Rummy? Love it.

I learned it once. So confusing. Matt. It's easy. I thought it was really fun. And then I, that's exactly how I did. Somebody taught it to me. I was like, this is a great game.

We played it for like four hours and never played it. ever since. All right. What's the first sound? Let's go. Yep. Oh, dude. Did we not just listen to this on the bonus pod

you recorded the other day? Some kind of whistling, fucking... You go first. I actually know what this one is. I'm going to call this a whistling bixie bird. Oh, you thought it was the whistling marmot. Yeah, sure, whistling marmot. That's what I'm going with.

Apparently, it's not that. That is... That's not a bird, is it? It's not a bird. That's too easy. Fuck. that is a that's a vervet

vervet monkey that's a bald eagle whoa what's so unique about a bald eagle's called it that's the sound you hear when you're up in Alaska all the time when you're like out on the fjords and stuff you hear that like that shrill sound

dude that's like all at one point that's cool man when you're like to picture myself now in Alaska like that's one of the sounds out there it's quiet you're like out on the sound and then you just hear that like in the distance You can't hear it when you're inside the bar.

I got to get outside more often. All right. Next one. I know this one too. Fuck. Go ahead, Pat. You start. Hyena.

That's what I was going to say. I'm going hyena. It's a good guess. And it's the sound that this animal, it's a sound that would be made during an attack by a hyena. Shit. It's a zebra. That's a zebra.

What? With two bees. Zebra. All right. Two for forest. Do we, can we get two each? Two guesses? No, we get two points

for a correct one. I don't know if I'm going to get any more right. I don't know what the rest of the game is. Yeah, okay. Let's do the next one. So far. Oh. Oh, I know what that is.

Okay. God, I was going to say it's got some pig in it, but I'm going to go with a horse. I believe that is an African lion. Hippo. You fucking kidding me. I grew up there. Yeah, the hippo.

Of course he's going to know that. Thanks, Edwin, for picking things that forest. Seriously, did you consult with forest? Next. What do we got? I'm curious, Broisner, if you're watching, make sure you're commenting before we get to the answer. I want to know if people are getting it.

Yeah. Yeah. I've heard this before. God. I've heard that sound. I'm going to be really mad when I don't know it. Oh. Good.

Is that when you told the story about the moose? When you wake up to the moose and. they make that crazy-ass sound? That's a really good guess. I'm going with those moose. I'm stealing it. That was an elk bugle. Very good.

Yeah. Wait, is that what it is? Yeah. Yep. Very good. But is that the story? No. Oh, okay.

But that's another sound you hear if you're in Alaska or out in Montana or something like that. You hear that bugle carrying over the hills. I got to get out of this garage. Sunset, man. Yeah. In Valle, just bugles everywhere. It's crazy. So cool.

Next. It's like, M. Just nothing. Meow. Yeah. I'd get that one. Is that a cricket?

That's a fucking cricket. Oh. Okay, that's a cat of some type. I know what that is. Okay, go ahead. I'm going to go with a leopard. That is a mountain lion scrape. Yeah, mountain lion.

Wow. Two points. So do you know what the scrape call is, though? It's a locator call. Right? Yeah, it's the females do it when they're looking for some some hot action. Right. Locator. So like sending that out as a come find me call.

These are the moments on the podcast that I literally like makes me want to do it. This is fascinating. It's cool, huh? Yeah. All right. Next one. It's good. That's your leg pad.

I hear that. Oh, I got it. That's a fucking woodpecker. Specifically a pilliated woodpecker. How do you know? You can't tell the difference. No, I can't. but it sounds like a palliated woodpecker.

I don't know. I'm going with a woodpecker. I'm going with a woody woodpecker. Really? Get the fuck out of here. Shut your fire. Because that was just like your generic woodpecker on the side of the house sound.

Play it again? I hear it now. Don't they say that the sperm whale can make a noise that's so loud that it like... The blue whale, I think. It could like kill you potentially. Really? It can stop your heart.

They can do a boom that's so loud. The sperm whale. Spirm whale. And the blue whale makes the loudest sound out of any animal, right? but it's not, it doesn't have the same like base frequency that can actually like stop your heart. Wow. Now that he says it, I've heard, I've, I've been in the water of sperm whales once, but I've never heard him calling or spy hopping or anything.

But I've heard that before in sperm whale videos, but when you hear that, you're just like, oh, that's a woodbacker. It just has that side of the house. Edwin tricked us. Yeah, it was a tricky. What you got, boy? Any more? Seven.

How many do we have? Nine. Okay. You've gotten all but one, right? All but one. I've gotten two right. I feel very proud. I've gotten one.

Good. or zero right. Do you? It sounds like a fire alarm. Dude. I don't even know what to guess. No, you got a guess. Come on, you got to guess.

Just say something. What continent is it from? Most. Nice. Jinks, you owe me a beege. One more? Yeah, I think the Brosners are trying to figure it out. Most continents.

It's a cool sound. I think that's the crypted, the Ozarks howler. It's not most continents. I'm going to go with a common house cat. Definitely. Orca. Ah, shit. You could have said fucking just,

it's not on land to give us a head. We could have, but. Dickheads. We didn't. Instead, Kyle Cockley just went most. We both did in perfect simultaneous. All right, we got two more. Two more.

All right, all right. That's some shitty ass bird. You do? Yeah. That's like a, like I'm going to go with a baby chicken. Ooh, actually. Let it play. I think I know what it is.

You're on baby chicken? It's a baby bird. I'll just say that. I think it's some rare, weird frog. It's either a leopard frog or... No, you only get one guess. Okay. Play it one more time.

Let me hear it one more time. We got a chance. He's only got 30 points. Baby Gator. Interesting. Yeah. I said leopard earlier. A little cheetah call, like cub call.

Yeah. Interesting. That's so hard. It has that, like, leopard frog makes a similar sound, and then baby Gator is like, eh, whet. When they're a baby, it's almost unfair because they make a totally different sound than an adult. I didn't get that one. All right. Last one.

Worth 10 points. Worth 150 points. That's fine. I know. I know. Play it again. All right. Go ahead.

That is me as I climax during masturbation. You guys say that publicly. Oh, sorry. Play it again. Let me just make sure. Yeah, yeah, that's what it is. Okay. I know what it is.

Do you really? Yeah. Oh, I don't. Go ahead. One more time, I guess. Yep. That's Edwin having fun with us. It's Peter.

Oh, okay. What were you doing there? I don't know. I had nothing to do with this. It's not you? I was not involved with this. It is Peter. So Edwin pulled that from an old podcast.

And like, so you made that sound before. Can I hear it again? Publicly. now you make it oh yeah that's Peter I think he sped it up maybe

I don't know by the way I literally like I didn't know that I would not been involved in this game and I just was making a funny hey I swear to God

good game brusers let us know if you like it because we can definitely play more animal skulls more more sound game I like the sound game that was really fun I'm pretty surprised

how many got right we stole that we stole that from Cookie who also has a podcast on our network. So go listen to that too if you liked that game. Yeah. I was really pleased when he pulled up the, uh, the mountain lion scrape. Yeah. That was solid that you knew that. You knew it. Yeah. I mean, I was just we did, I wrote a bunch of voiceover about it for a segment and a show.

For the Yellowstone show. Yeah. So I was like, what you, what? Give us a, give us the tastiest morsel of that. Oh, it was just like talking about how they're, how they basically the behavior that was captured was the female doing that. Oh, gotcha. She was looking to mate. Pretty solid. Nice. Pretty solid. That was fun. That was great. Yeah. What else we got? You know what? I think we got something.

Dude, we should announce. We got something. I've been waiting all episodes. Okay. So, hey guys, if you're enjoying, whoops. Guys, if you like The Wild Times, check us out on Patreon. We put out four extra podcasts per month. That's one commute a week that you're just going to be laughing and learning the whole time in the car. I don't know. I'll do something else. This is the late night content, stuff that we can't show on, on YouTube,

because they'll kick us off YouTube. It's the cinemax of podcasts. Uncensored, raw dog. It's the cinemax of podcasts. Check it out. Link right here. Hey, brosters, thank you for being loyal subscribers. We appreciate everything that you do.

And now we have a membership offer for you. I think you can get ad. ad-free episodes, I heard. That's pretty big. Ad-free's big, but you can also get your comments looked at so we don't have to sift through the millions. How do you do that? Is there some sort of badge system? There's a badge system, a loyalty badge.

Boom. Shows up next to your name in the comments. Boom. We read the comment. All this badge talks make, I'm going to the badge store. He's going to get a badger. He's going to buy one. Didn't earn it.

He's going to buy one. He did a fake leave. I assumed Kyle would know to cut on the motion. All right, let's cut now. That's our ad. Are your ad campaigns lighting up the dashboard, but not the pipeline? That's bullspend, and marketers are calling it out in. Dashboard, confessions. My boss asks for results, so I open my dashboard for the only positive-sounding metric I had.

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You definitely don't need to spill any more beer. All right, we're going to do a segment. We're going to do a segment. What's in the dry bag? Oh yeah, baby. We just missed a couple times. We haven't done it in a second. So here's the dry bag right here. And as I reach in, I've got something pretty special right here. What do you got there, sir? What do you see there? Pat? I see the word Leatherman. Okay. This, ladies and gentlemen, is Leatherman's new premium built. art. So let me just say something. They just announced this product yesterday. Yeah. You got one a couple weeks ago. I've had mine for three weeks already. Yeah. Haven't stopped texting about it. I'm obsessed with it and I mean it and I'll tell you why.

That's why. If you've ever used any multi tool in history, it takes two hands and brute strength just to open it. True. Dude. This is an unbelievable product and I mean it. Like I am absolutely obsessed with the usability of this thing. It's so clean. It's greased up and magnetic. It's like a slick apple product. It's absolutely incredible. Yeah, it's sweet. It's made with premium materials.

It's the arc. It's the first ever multi-tool to have a magnet-cut steel blade. You can see it in the blade right there. It's got an unbelievable edge of attention. I've been cutting all kinds of placasimus, you know, those armored catfish. Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. Still sharp.

Be careful. I'm not even joking. It is still so goddamn sharp. Yeah. How many tools in this thing? 21. 21 tools in there. Dude, they used to be so much bigger.

They're so slick and, like, fit in your pocket now. Fucking sweet, man. Dude, it's the best edge retention, blade strength. It's corrosion resistant. That's the one thing is these multi-tools, usually they touch salt water. They're gone. That thing's been in and out of the ocean like five times with me already. It's just, it's unbelievable.

It's the best in-class product I've ever seen. It's the best Leatherman that they've ever come out with hands down. And because Billy is a buddy at Leatherman, he gave us one. and offered us a competition. So if you want one of these. Right, explain it. You know, if you want it for yourself, right? Wouldn't you?

Or let's say you want it. You do. In time to gift it to somebody. Yeah. For the holidays, right? The Leatherman arc, we're going to give one away to one of our brosuners. So here's the contest we're announcing. It's called Outdoor Moments.

Big moments. Very cool. Brought to you by Leatherman. Yep. They're donating one to give to someone. somebody in our audience, here's what you do. Go on the comments, you could either do it on Apple Podcasts or the YouTube, whatever. Tell us your favorite outdoor moment.

So paint a picture. Tell a story. The best moment you've ever had outdoors, but here's the catch. Five sentences. Yep. Paragraph. If you go six sentences, you're not eligible. DQ, baby.

DQ. If you use like 15 commas in a sentence, we'll ping you. We're going to sniff that out. Yeah. So in five sentences, just tell us the story that if you were on the podcast would be like your favorite story to tell. We will announce three finalists. We'll read the stories. And then we'll pick a winner.

And we'll ship you one of these. And we're doing our stories too. Forrest. Yeah. I was going to ask, what's your story? So let's do top three. So we'll start this week. We'll do number three.

Okay. Number three outdoor moment, Forrest Galant. Well, I'm keeping mind all Leatherman-centric because I've had, I've had Leatherman. since I was a teenager. You gave them away as the Extincter Alive Rat present. Yeah, I saw yours on a shelf recently with your name etched in it.

No, I've had Leatherman since I'm a teenager, so I'm going to make mine old Leatherman-centric. So number three, I know. Okay. Patrick, remember when we were in the Bahamas on Face the Beast shoot? No, extinctor-all-I-I-I-D-R-Lahs

We've been there a few times. So many times. And we got stuck on the island. Yes, I do. And the storm rolled in, and we didn't have a lot of crap. We had tarps and things like that. Yes.

But we had to build that whole shelter. And the only thing that every crew member had was a leatherman. Well, because the camera guys use them taking the plates on and off their tripods. They use them constant. Changing lenses, everything. I always have one in my backpack because it has so many tools in it. We use the knife. We use the scissors.

We use the pliers. The pliers are so valuable. In every scenario. And we used our leathermans to build a little pretty crappy makeshift shelter with a tarp to weather the rainstorm. And that was pretty fun. Because they sat there cooking crabs on the beach. I will say also that the fucking sandflies on that island were the most bug bites I've ever seen a group of people get. It was heinous.

In a night. It was so brutal. We all looked like we had pox the next day. Did you, does the Leatherman multi-tool have one of those electric bug zappers on it? God, I wish. No, it doesn't. That would be tremendous. So, yeah, send us your story.

We want this to be fun. A little competition. Five sentences. Or if you just want to want to buy one, you can just shop now. We'll put a link in the video description. But you're not going to want to miss out. I mean, I'm not joking.

This is the best tool that they've ever come out with. It's the best tool that multi-tool I've ever seen. Just don't fuck up. You were ranting and raving about it. We emailed them and said, hey, can we give some of these away? Yeah, I know. And then we came up with this idea for the contest. There's also a nice little feature on Spotify for all you Spotify listeners

where we can ask a question. on Spotify, and we always just ask, what did you think of this episode? Well, today it's going to say, what's your story? What's your favorite outdoor moment? All right, that's what's in the dry bag. I like that you picked, you did pick a moment.

Do you remember Rob Rosales, our sound guy? Of course. He legitimately, the next morning when we woke up, I thought we were going to have to medevac him out. It looked like he had smallpox. No, he looked awful. Yeah, I've never seen anyone with more red spots. Have you ever, like, been inundated with sandflies?

Yeah, terrible. It's the most horrific experience. What? It was just my first time being, like, I've been around a lot of mosquitoes and green. Are they worse than mosquitoes? What's the deal? They're way bitey. Oh, dude.

They burrow in? It hurts when they bite you, unlike a mosquito, which you don't really feel. Yeah. And you're just covered, we were tatted up in him. It was fine when it was raining when the storm was going, but the storm passed at, like, I don't know, 11 p.m. and then from 11 p.m. until 5 a.m., we were just getting chowed. Dude. So, as you guys know, I don't get out on as many adventures as you,

but I did have quite the adventure yesterday. I got a little package from Amazon, and I just gave you a hint. I got one of those electric bug zappers. There's a species of mosquitoes out here that they are an invasive species of mosquito that had come around a couple years ago. Okay. And they are ridiculously aggressive,

and since it's been so wet here in SoCal this year, I'll go out in my backyard. Ten of them will fucking swarm me, dude. Really? I swear to fucking God, I almost took a video of it because it's so unbelievable. And my kid can't go out there. So I got one of these electric bug zappers off of Amazon with a racket.

It is the most satisfying fucking purchase I have made ever. It's like, you get to see it die. You get to watch the mosquito die. You see it explode. I highly recommend it. It's an invasive mosquito that came in like four or five years ago into the port of Los Angeles down in Long Beach. Were they introduced as like a sterile? Wasn't that a thing?

No, they were trying to fight it by releasing like hundreds of millions of sterile ones. And that was shot down by some fucking group that didn't, that said it was against that. But they're brutal. They call them ankle bite or mosquitoes because they stay very low to the ground and they just destroy your fucking ankles. Dude, you didn't even know about that. Yeah, they came in on a fruit shirt. And now there's literally just tens of billions. and trillions.

Oh, I've seen these little black and white stripes. Yeah, dude, they're very noticeable. I didn't realize those were an invasive species. Where are they from? Asia. They're from, where I'm saying? Yeah. They came in a channel.

So, dude, a regular mosquito will bite you one to four times and typically like one time. These will bite you up to fucking ten times, dude. And they do. They're super aggressive. They go through your pants. They're the worst goddamn thing. It's crazy.

I lived in L.A. I don't want a bitch. I lived in L.A. for like 20-something years, almost. Okay. Okay. Yeah, pretty close to 20 years. It'll be 20 years on Halloween.

Wow. Yeah, crazy. Wow. A long time. Congratulations. But for the first 15 years, it's something that you completely take for granted. There are zero mosquitoes. None.

None. It was beautiful. I grew up in the Northeast. They ruined the summer nights. For sure. 100%. And then they came. Yeah.

And then they started getting really bad. Yeah. Now they're so bad that the pest control company Orkin has ranked LA as the most mosquito-infested city in the U.S. You're kidding. Wow. That's a horseshit statistic. I don't know how they do it. Have you ever been

to anywhere else? Like, well, I don't think they're counting like the middle of the Everglades. Okay, fair enough. But have you been to Anchorage in the summertime? No. Dude, those things will fucking fly you away. Really? Dude, the mosquitoes in Alaska in the summer, insane. Yeah. The problem is this, though. When these things bite you, you get a giant welt. It inches

for like two weeks and they bite you a hundred times. So maybe there's only fucking one-tenth of the amount in, uh, wherever you said, Arkansas, but is that what you said? We say Alaska? Sorry, I knew it was one of those A places. But anyways, they only bite you that one to four times. So you're getting fucking, you're getting, you know, 40 bites. These ones, you're getting 150 million bites, dude, with 10 mosquitoes.

It's ludicrous. I cannot imagine there is any type of bio control for this. How do you stop mosquitoes? Yeah, well, the plan was to literally fly them in planes like crop duster style and really sterile ones to like break the breeding cycle. But yeah, I don't think they ended up doing it. Well, how do you fight against mosquitoes though? You basically just can't have still water around your house. Yeah, but that's just not possible.

I mean, anyone with a sprinkler or a fountain. It's fucking rains and there's a flower pond? Just anything. Yeah, like the petal of a leaf can hold enough water for mosquitoes to reproduce. Oh, yeah. It's just not possible. So, interesting. All right, I think it's time for a game.

What do you say? Love games. Good. All right, we're going to do Bizarre Animal of the Week. You may have done this one before, I'm not sure. But you know what? I don't care. We're going to do it anyway.

It would be. All right. Ready? It's bizarre animal of the week. All right, your first clue. This bizarre animal is covered in scales. Okay. It's a hermaphrodite.

I mean, a, what's that lizard? That sounds like hermaphrodite. No idea. All right. Next 10. All right. Clue number two, this scale-covered animal pervers the cover of darkness. Ooh, nocturnal.

Okay. Yep. Scale-covered at night. Okay. All right. This nocturnal, scaly creature is known for its excellent digging skills. Oh, man. To dig, borrow, search for food.

Platypus? It's a good guess. Roll map. No scales on a platypus. Oh, right, scales. Yeah. Naked mole rat? Naked mole rat?

Also naked. Not scaly. I don't know. What if I told you that this crazy creature was found in parts of Asia and Africa? I would say I'm no closer to the answer. Oh, okay. Very good. Very good.

Burrows at night, Asia Africa, scaly. Okay. What are you thinking right now? It's got to be some kind of like lizard or salamander or something. I don't know, because I feel like that'd be too easy. So I think it's not going to be that. What if I told you had a long, sticky tongue that can extend further than you could ever imagine? Nearly one-third of its body length.

Yeah, I would know what the answer was. Oh, shit. Yeah. We filmed one once. It's a salamander, right? You be quiet and let him. Yeah, exactly. All right, well, I'm taking my...

It's at least a salamander, isn't it? Could be. They have very long tongues. When threatened, Peter, it rolls up into a tight... A spiky ball. Oh, a hedgehog. Good guess. Like Sonic.

It's not. It's a horrible guess, though. No scales, though. What if I told you this? This animal is edging towards extinction because people are hunting it for its special magical healing powers of those scales. This has to be, I don't know what kind of salamander, because I don't know. But it's a salamander for sure. Because I don't know.

Yeah. I have no good reason. I'm guessing most of the Brozner's have got it by now. Well, let's let pet answer. if he's right. Well, hold on. You can finish the glue. Let me wrap it up. Let me wrap it up. Okay. We've got it. I didn't say this because I was trying to trick you. It is a mammal, though. We've got a large, scaly mammal that curls into a tight ball that is an excellent digo. Armadillo. Armadillo? Very close. Digger and borrower. Searches for ants to eat. Anteater. It's edging towards extinction.

Has a long, sticky tongue. Anteater. It occurs in Africa and Asia. Show the video of it, Cal. Let's show a video of what it is. see if you can guess. Pat, do you want to say what it is first? Oh, I've seen this picture of you too. It comes up on Google when you search your name. What is it, Peter? It's a real life Pokemon. What is it called, though? The Edutoc. It's called a pangolin. There you go. The pangolin. Look at that adorable. Was this the first time you got to hold a pangolin?

Ever in my life. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. 2018 or 19, I forget. You have never seen this video. I've only seen that picture. Yeah. So cool. So adorable. Such a cool little animal edging towards extinction for made-up benefits. But what's the deal? Its tongue is like three times longer in the body? One third. Oh, one-third the length of the body.

But it like curls up and then shoots out to lick ants up. Yeah. Originally the pangolin was what they were saying was the animal. Like, weren't they saying a pangling got shit on by a bat and that's how the pandemic started? And then that was just found to be utter nonsense. And just sort of went away. Look at that tongue.

Yeah. Oh, is this shit? That is. Not my video, no. Beautiful. Yeah, they're incredible. Total real life Pokemon, by the way.

Yeah, look at the tongue. It's so great. It's like a cute animal. How could a scaly animal like this be so cute? Yeah. I know. That's a really good question. Oh, God.

It's so sad that it's, dude. That's funny when you see them run too. Yeah. They're cute little runners. It's very slow, slow running. I'm glad you're bringing awareness to this animal, dude, because I don't want it to go extinct. So the scales are made out of keratin,

just like our fingernails. Correct. What are they being trafficked for? Because it's a highly trafficked animal. Yeah, for those scales, which are believed to have medicinal or penis-y properties.

With no proof. I bet it's for like hair and nails. Yeah. Look at that thing walking around. I mean, it really is like... I want to live in this person's living room. Yeah. It's a nice table.

I like it. No, they're hilarious. And yeah, that was the first time I ever got to hold one. That was at a place cold. Actually, this might be worth pulling up, Kyle. It's called Wild is Life in Zimbabwe.

Bobway. And it's just, yeah, just such a cool animal. It's literally the, the cutest scaly animal that I've ever, ever seen. Oh, yeah, they're unbelievable. It's so unique, too. You don't see other animals that look like this. No, they're incredible. There's six species, three in Asia, three in Africa, I believe. That's the ground pangolin. And then in Asia, there's some arboreal ones that live up in the trees. And this is some friends of mine that run this place that do rescues on all kinds of stuff. And their pangolins are all penguins. were busted from Chinese trafficking. Yeah.

Yeah. And then they take them in and rehab them. Well, good. I'm glad somebody's out there doing... Just such a cool critter, though. Really is. I post that video day before yesterday

or whatever it was, and I was like, yeah, we should talk about this again. Yeah. Cool. Just a cool critter. It's good to bring awareness to these things, too, man. I mean, when these animals get trafficked for literally just fake bullshit, it's got to be one of the most, like, depressing parts of this area that is out there.

You don't. You don't think that eating tiger whiskers will make your dick bigger? Dude, I fucking, I just can't. That's so logical. Like, what part of you doesn't think that that works? It's not logical. There is no science to back this. Yeah, shenanigans.

Anyway, that's bizarre animal of the week. What else did they have there at that place? Giraffes. The giraffes, when I was there, they had a young hyena, they had a few cheetah. What else did they have? I can't remember when I was there. You know, they just have whatever is in need of a home at the time, basically. I don't think there's many permanent residents.

If you raised a hyena from like bottle-fed it, like shortly after birth, how domesticated do you think you could get one? Oh, Kyle, pull up, um, what the fuck's the guy's name? There's a guy who had a hyena in Zimbabwe. She's pretty famous for it. Just like right in hyena pet. And he'd like walk it around on a leash and stuff, but it was still just utterly ferocious. Yeah. Right.

But yeah, no, I mean, they're gnarly, dude. So, yeah, they are. They look gnarly. There was a place, yeah, I don't know, it's probably not going to come up. But there was a place called Bally Vaughn Wildlife Sanctuary, which was literally our neighbors in Zimbabwe, where I lived. And they hand raised a bunch of hyena pups. And still, if a kid went near the fence, myself included, it would like try and lure you in and be kind of cutie and walking back and forth. And if you try to put your fingers through it, just try and take them off immediately.

Jesus. And they're smart. So they were like doing it intentionally. Yeah, this is our neighbor's property. My farm is literally directly connected to this property in Zimbabwe. Wow. It's pretty fucking trash now, but it used to be incredible. Yeah.

Dude, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't want to fuck with a hyena. They, I mean, how intelligent are they? Like a three-year-old human? Oh, more than that. Really? They're pretty smart. Yeah. And just ferocious, man, like killing machines.

Yeah, they're just, but they're cowardly too. Like, they won't go for you if you're big or whatever. Yeah, they're really. Reminds me a pat a little bit. So how. So how, let's say you were, hyenas are almost always in groups, right? They're pretty solitary. Oh, really?

Yeah. So when you see like the iconic videos of, you know, a couple lionesses eating something they just killed and a bunch of hyenas come in. They're all coming in separately pretty much. Whoa, really? Yeah. Yeah. So they're all. And now are they scent, are they scenting that or are they hearing the chaos?

Both, but mostly scent. incredible sense of smell. Kyle, pull that up, if you would, like hyena sense of smell. I'm curious. Unbelievable. Yeah. Like if it's comparable to, yeah,

to like a brown bear or something like that. I mean, I don't know, but it's, yeah, no, an unbelievable sense of smell for,

for newly dead, rotting flesh. And then when they get out there, like, one hyena comes out or whatever, two get there, they make,

like, loud-ass cries, don't they when they're... They cackling. Yeah, that's the whole, like, laughing hyenaeating. Is it?

So do they come out just, their scavengers, Right? Yep. Yes. I mean, sorry, they'll, they'll hunt small game, but they're mostly, yeah, mostly scavengers. Why can't they just shut the fuck up and eat a meal and peace? I don't know. Well, it is interesting that they're not a group because I always assumed like when you watch them steal something from some lions. Yeah, they're kind of working together. It's power and numbers. Yeah, it feels like they're working together. Totally. So you think that those. They mostly roam around solitary. It's pretty fascinating. How worried would you be if you were like, you know, you're not out in the Savannah? or anything like that. You're just like walking from your your lodge to the to the bathroom.

Yeah. And just like a solo hyena was staring at you. Oh, as an adult zero as a child extremely. Okay. We used to stay in the camp at Mona Pools, which I've talked about many times, but they have like little like housing lodges there. And like my dad, my grandpa would be out like frying, barbecuing and all the hyenas. There'd be no hyena is nothing.

It's beautiful. You're overlooking the Zambezi River or whatever. and then the sun would start to set and you can take a flashlight and shine around because they've all come in for the smell of the barbecue. Right. And you just see all the eyes like circling the like just outside a light radius of the house lights.

That's crazy. And I still remember one day I forget what happened exactly, but basically my dad asked me to run out to the barbecue and get the Bouraverse or whatever we were cooking and bring it back. And I made it like halfway out and turned around and there were like four hyenas between me and the house and they were totally coming

to get me. Jesus. And my mom came running out. I was like, go away, go away. And they all ran away. Yeah. But because I was little,

I was like eight years old. Right. They were like, they were clued on. Yeah. It's crazy how fine that line is. Yeah. Right.

They're just like, yeah, this is one we got. Yeah, easy. Easy. Four foot tall, your dad. Yeah.

Five and a half feet tall. Not coming here. Too scary for us. Exactly right. So this, Kyle pulled it up, says that they can, hyena can detect the smell

of rotting flesh two miles down wind. Mm-hmm. Damn, that's fucking, that's over, like, that's like 11,000 feet, dude. And it does say they find courses by the sand and by the noise made by other predators. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, when you see them, like, just scare those lions up into the, you know, they'll, like, tree the lions. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then just feast. Yeah, like in the Lion King, dude. I mean, it was insane when I watched that nature documentary. When scars hanging out with them and they're all singing. I couldn't believe it.

With the boiling lava. cool place. To see a lion work with hyenas like that in the wild was incredible. They work together. They're the bad guys. We haven't done this in a while.

Someone submitted this. It's an idea for the Battle Royale. Oh, there we go. Please make it easy. We don't have the power of Google. I think what we're going to do is a classic Battle Royale. To the death.

That's right. Yes. Fight till time. death. Smart. Head, body. Appendages. Appendages.

Let's do appendages. I was between appendages and superpower. Okay. Head body appendages. Okay. Head body. These creatures must be found in North America. No.

No, no. They must be found in the continental United States. Smart. Wow. Okay. They must be an invasive species. Ooh, I like this. I like this a lot.

Yeah. So, yeah, Forrest, why don't you go first? Sure, sure. Keep in mind, Texas exists. Uh-huh. Yeah, just remember that. Yeah. Oh, so just not.

Invasive, not. You can't be like domestic, can't be like a domesticated tiger living in Texas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Okay, no problem. No problems here. I'm going to start with the, very simple, the body, the body of a giant Burmese python. Ah, maybe. It's formidable.

Formidable. 20-foot-long constrictor, basically a giant thigh muscle. I'm curious to see what appendages you put on this. Yeah, I got an idea. All right. I'm starting with a body as well. I'm going to take the body of a big, I'm going to call it 11-foot-long Ereepimma. Wow, there you go.

Is that that ugly-ass fish? Yeah, it's a big, thick-bodied fish that is now invasive in certain parts of the Southern Everglades. There are some in the glades, they say. Finding him, relatively. I mean, they'll get that big, thick,

scaly body. Good luck with that. Such cool fish. Well, I mean, those are the only two invasive species I know.

So this is going to be really, I mean, I don't even know what to do here. I can't even make a joke because there's these requirements. Well, we talked about mosquitoes being invasive for half the pod.

Well, okay. What about, yeah, I know, but what am I going to give them the fucking, the legs of a mosquito,

the body? All right, fine. I'll go with the, how about this? You can ask for help. Okay. I got a phone a friend.

Yeah. There was something we talked about from Florida that are, well, let me ask you this. Are crocodiles or alligators invasive? Is there anything like them that is? Sure. Let's do this. There are some Cayman, which is a type of alligator in the Everglades that are invasive. I'm going with the body of one of those rare Cayman.

You got it. That is invasive. Good enough. Why not? I'm going to pick the head. Yeah. Body. Oh, wait.

And then your next pick. You can switch. Yeah, yeah, my next pick. But I'm going to go with the head of that invasive Asian mosquito. Okay. On the body of a gaming? Yeah. It scales up.

Scales up. Yeah, it's pretty scary, to be honest. It's a bit. It's terrifying. It's a bitey head. Yeah. Dude, that would just suck. It's going to drain you.

You would look like, you'd look like a deflated balloon after that. Dude, nine pints, no problem. You're in pretty good shape, right? Yeah. Yeah. So for a guy who knows nothing, you're doing a good job. Pat, you're up. I got to really think about my head here.

Yeah. Okay. I know exactly what I'm doing. So I've got this big 10, 11 foot long Erapima armored scaled body. Great. I'm going to give it the head of the invasive Nutriorat. Very nice. I want to go for intimidation. Just a nasty set of orange big teeth. Stick that head on an 11 foot long body. I'm feeling good. Do you guys know any people who look like this? I feel like I've met people that look like that. I've definitely seen them. Just the face. They're definitely smokers.

It's Starbucks. It's Starbucks. I've seen this person. It's Starbucks. Behind the counter. Okay. I am going to, I've got the Burmese Python body.

Okay. And I'm going to give it the head of an Argentine tegou. Put the tag you head on it. That's cool us head. Okay. Yep. Put that head on the end of the Python body. Stay with me.

I'll explain why in a minute. because they do have some pretty good chompers. Keep in mind, it scales up. Yeah. But I'm going to add the appendages of a feral hog. I knew you were going to do that. That was mine. Yeah.

Because now I've got this 20 foot long thing with these big girthy legs and a big reptile head. It's pretty scary. That's terrifying. Pretty scary. Well, not to mention, man, if you look at these feral hogs, their zero to 60 is crazy. They're at like top speed in a second. Dude, there was that video that we showed on one pod of the hogs chasing the guy on the fucking motor on the dirt bike.

Crazy. Kyle, Kyle, it's, yeah, type in like a feral hog dirt bike South Africa. I don't want to see the end of it, though. It doesn't matter. Yeah, it's just crazy. Yeah, that's good. It's going to be quick. It's going to be scary.

Yeah. Yep. Tegu. Terrifying. Let me ask you this. Is the Tegu head necessarily that much scarier than the python's head? Probably not, but I wanted to mix it up. Sure.

I was going to go green iguana because green iguanas are pretty. pretty gnarly too, but no, I think, I like my pick. I'm sticking with it. Yeah. Okay. You got one more, right? Yeah, yeah. I got to give mine some appendages, which I'm struggling with right now.

Yeah, I mean, it's a big, this big body. I've got, uh, you could phone a friend who would be forest. Are there any invasive octopus? Unfortunately not here. Cuddle fish in general. Damn. What's another, what's another good, what's another good thing? I'm so glad I'm not.

the only idiot. You took Tegu. All right. Green iguana. I want, that's what I'm doing. I want it to be low to the ground. I want it to scamper quickly. The legs will scale up to the body size, so I'm going to give it the legs

of a green iguana. That's quick. Because it's the only other invasive species. It's the only one I could think of at the moment. There wasn't a fish. That's okay. Okay, listen. Look at those legs. Imagine that 11 feet long. What head do you have on there? They're legs. Yeah. The nutri rat.

That's right. That's right. Yeah, that's pretty awful, for honest. So I have a Cayman with a mosquito head. I'm just going to, because I want this to be entertaining for us, I just straight up want to know what, well, that's not invasive. I just straight up want to know what legs to give this to make it the best animal. Oh, good question. Okay, let's see.

What do you got a Cayman with? The mosquito's blood sucker head. You got to put it on some nice legs. Give it a good set of stems, yo. It's got to have some agility to it. Ooh, I know. Okay, what do you got? Because I was just going to go with the alligator again.

You're going to put it on chameleon legs so it can climb up and over anything and ambush from above. And just the legs won't be able to be seen. Oh, shit. Yeah. I see what you're saying. I mean, camellia is the dexterity. Yeah, they're not quick, but they can grab. grab anything. They can climb up anything.

That's smart. As an ambush predator. Dude, because of the mosquito's blood sucking head. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's why I went there. I've won all on my own. This battle. All on your own for sure. All right. So, Roesler's way in, would you vote for Peter's chameleon-legged, Kamen bodied, mosquito-headed creature? Just do me a favor and bring up a large picture, a very macro-lens picture of that invasive Asian mosquito head. And tell me what you do. Would you vote for Patrick's Nutria rat-faced... Aripima.

Arapimid fish-bodied with a green iguana's legs. It sounds like an insult I would make of my fifth grade teacher. Or my creature, which is a Burmese python with the head of a tegue and the legs of a hog. Wow. Pretty awful creatures. Fight to the death. Different skills. Very different skill sets.

And don't feel bad that they're fighting until death. They're invasive. And they're made up. They need to be eradicated anyway. Yeah. Yeah. So... If you want to make a...

a story about their favorite. The three of them go out into the wild and they have an adventure together. Five sentences, what did they do? Put it in. Combine the two things. Yeah, submit your stories. Win the Leatherman Ark.

Just in time for the holidays. You can re-gift it if you want, but I think you'll keep it. You won't. You won't do that. If you like the podcast and want more of them every month, check out the subscribe on Spotify or Patreon. So good.

You can do it there. Go to What's our website? All the links. Wildimes. Club forward slash info. You can find all the links to everything there. That clicking sound for listeners is for us playing with his new Leatherman product.

It sounds erotic. Oh, that click. That double clicks. All right. Thank you, everybody. We love you. Good night. I like you guys a little better this time.

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