Wild Times: Wildlife Education - "Extinct" Animal Found Undergound - The Wild Times Ep. 135

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

This week we discuss the golden mole rediscovered in South Africa, a baby Sumatran rhino was born, and we plan an animal poo game. Buy Workout Chocolate: https://workoutchocolate.com/ https://www.amazon.com/WORKOUT-CHOCOLATE-Original-Protein-Chocolate/dp/B0CNGJXSZP/ref=sr_1_2?crid=RYAVQNZ6FC7B&keywords=workout+chocolate&qid=1704734509&sprefix=workout+choco%2Caps%2C185&sr=8-2 Rocket Money: https://rocketmoney.com/wildtimes DUER: https://shopduer.com/wild Get 15% off sitewide Factor Meals: https://factormeals.com/wild50 Get 50% off Subscribe to The Wild Times Podcast on YouTube ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Get YouTube Membership Perks ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVl7fHhUOpFK8Mpv-6DdoOg/join Get Up To 4 Bonus Podcasts Per Month ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod Watch More Episodes Here ▶▶ https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP... Visit https://thewildtimespodcast.com/ now! Join The Wild Times Discord Server: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9Db Get your Wild Times Podcast merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Leave a review on iTunes Apple Podcast: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/itune... Follow The Wild Times Podcast on socials: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildtimespod/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespod Twitter: https://twitter.com/WildTimesPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/ Listen to The Wild Times Podcast on: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cbFBzf... Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Google: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0... Anchor.fm: https://anchor.fm/wildtimespod/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Enjoy, brosteners! TWT 135 - The Breakdown 00:00 - Intro 02:35 - Daddy, What Do Hyena's Eat? 08:20 - Golden Mole Rediscovered 10:45 - Dog Super Powers 19:50 - Adult Hobbies 22:15 - Patrick and Peter's Seattle Trip 25:45 - Sumatran Rhino Born 32:59 - Patrick's Appendix 35:00 - Workout Chocolate 44:12 - Gamer Girl Bath Water 47:20 - Animal Poo Game 1:04:00 - Outro Jingles made by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-tire/ #wildtimespod #podcast

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Happy New Year. Happy New Year, everybody. For those just tuning in, it is the beginning of the year. This is the Wild Times podcast. And before we got on, Patrick and I were heckling Peter, and he was getting very ups. Cheers, man. Oh, I didn't see it. I didn't see it.

Don't start off like that. Cheers me. You can't start 2024 on this note. Yeah, come on, Peter. Listen. You and your stringy hair. Dude, the stringy hair bit really put me in a sully mood. It looks great on camera.

I look like Gavin from the band Bush. I don't know his last name. I, I, you look like Steffie Graff with a mustache and beard. Remember her? No, I don't.

Kyle, pull up a picture of Steffy Graff. You look exactly like Steffie Graff if she had a mustache and beard. Let's let's have a look at us. Oh, God. Is she as obese as I am? No. She's,

she's quite, New Year New Beast. Look at that. What the, are you talking about? All right, ladies and gentlemen, if you are joining us for the first time. I mean, he's a handsome lady. She's very handsome, but I don't look anything like that.

Right there, that picture. That looks like me if I put a 70s wig on. That's how your hair looks right now. With the bangs? That is not stringy. If you're joining us for the first time in 2024, you have a lot of catching up to do. This is the Wild Times podcast.

It's a comedy and animal news and general rag on Peter podcast. at times. Life adventure. Yeah. You know, your thing. That's stuff you do. Yeah, we do a lot of stuff and it's fun and people like it.

Actually, this brings me to something I want to ask Peter about. We've done introductions. That's probably okay. Yeah, it's New Year. Yeah, you know who we are. I'd like to be introduced. I'd like to be introduced.

That's Patrick. This is Peter. Hey. He's the professor. Yeah. All right. What are you got? Let's go.

Do you like have any friends that are lawyers? Yeah. Yeah. You maybe like call them for like legal. Yes. You know, you got a question. Yes, I have. You have to do.

What is the point of having a friend with a good degree if you don't? Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, because you know they're like a garbage person if they're a lawyer. So the only reason you keep them around is. 100% yes. Okay, so what would be a good benefit of like having a friend who's a wildlife bio? Oh.

Anytime you see a praying mantis mating on your screen. It has done that. No, but you could call them with questions about animals, right? Yeah, of course. So that's what I would have thought. Oh, geez. What did I do? Turn of events here.

I'm getting ragged on. So I'm sitting in my garage. It's the new thing. My two and a half year old loves to sit in the garage with me and watch football. That's awesome. What do you mean? That's amazing. Yeah, it's great.

It's cold in there, right? Because it's not heated. Yep. Or boiling when we're podcasting. True. It's 105 in there. Are you just constantly telling her to pipe down or? No.

So she watches animal videos on my phone. Okay. And I got the game on. Some quality time right there. She loves watching these animal videos. Cool. So we're sitting in there and matching PJs. It's about 7 p.m.

So I know Forrest is home. Okay. Available. Oh, I did see your missed ball. I know where this is going. So we're sitting there in the matching PJs at our lawn chairs. She's watching hyena videos.

And she goes, Daddy, what do hyenas eat? And I said, do you want to ask someone who's seen hyenas? And she goes, yeah. I said, do you want to ask a real biologist

about hyenas? She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm like, all right, I know, Forrest's home. So I FaceTime Forrest. Heartlessly screens it. This is true. Wow. I only saw it was missed later that night.

Okay. What were you doing? What day was a side? Yeah, I think. Yeah, he doesn't know. He doesn't know what he was doing 10 minutes before he got here. I don't even know what I'm doing right now. So just here's what I did see your missed FaceTime.

It was like, I wonder if that was a pocket dial and then didn't follow up. Well, I've never face timed you before. No, never. So that's why. That's fair. Do you FaceTime your friends regularly? I don't have an iPhone. Thanks.

But I will say this. I think, Pat, the problem may be... Motorola razor. And all of your friends talk about this behind your back. Sure. Sure, sure. You have got to be the absolute worst person at answering text and calls. I thought you were just going to leave it there.

Sometimes it'll take... Our friend Justin texted you and me. This was like a week and a half ago, but it took you, I think, four and a half. days to respond after another prompting text. And this was to like do a dinner the following day. I know. He's like, nope. Can't do it.

No, you're right. And I'm actually not really. I just, I was really hoping you would answer mostly so that you can see that we had matching PJs. I did want to see that. Are they the ones like me on Amazon? Christina had already got a different pair. That's right.

So what do hyenas eat? Yeah. Everything. Anything they can fit in their mouths that's dead. They're scavengers. Oh, yeah. The scavengers. Yeah.

Yeah. And they have, don't they have like extra strong? or teeth that keep growing back? Or is that Tasmanian devils? I don't know about keep growing back, but they have incredibly strong jaws. And they just crush through bone. Straight through bone,

cartilage, meat, flesh, literally. God, they're also vicious. That's what Charlie looks like when he gets angry. That is what Charlie looks like.

I'm surprised there hasn't been a movie where like, he's got worse teeth. The bad guy in the movie has a couple hyenas out back and that's how he gets rid of bodies. Haven't you ever seen the Lion King? There's got to be.

Somebody's got to have used a hyena as like, oh, you know what? There is. Margo Robbie's like spin off where she's Oh The Joker not the Joker

The yeah The card The joke Well she's got a Harley Quinn Harley Quinn Yeah Kyle where the hell

Are you got a hyena? I think she has a hyena Or there's a hyena in the movie Because I remember seeing Yeah look at this Look at this second picture Dude Wow I didn't know hyenas were that big

They're not That's a CGI hyena But dude it's getting too good I don't like it I know That's rude man That's really good But I remember

because I sadly watched the majority of this terrible film on a plane and was just trying so hard to ignore it until the hyena came on screen. And I was like, oh, that's a cool, cool, co-evil pet. But I've seen it, like, in the movie Snatch and the show Deadwood, like there's characters that use pigs to get rid of dead bodies. Like, I just look at hyenas. It's more fun. Snatch is such a good movie, man, but it's so hard to understand.

You can't have a subject. It's a mess. How many people do you think of disposed of dead? bodies with their exotic pets in the city in the state of Florida 400 I think it's about the right number yeah yeah like it's not zero and it's not one right but it's not 10,000 correct that's what do you think the most exotic pet living in Florida currently is the people the guys on basalted lawyers you've insulted Floridians that's fine it's also my favorite state and I think one of your top three I'd move there

tomorrow. Yeah, I was going to say, you both have talked about moving there several times. It's my dream. They hate us because they ain't us. Their gas is like under three bucks right now. Under three bucks, it's a dollar 40 right now. Oh my God. I was just talking to somebody who was in central Florida and he's like, I don't know what's going on. Gas is a dollar 40. And I was like, I've, I've never seen that in my life. I've never seen that in my life. Meanwhile, there's a famous gas station here in L.A. The gas is over $7 right now. And earlier, when the price is really high, It was up at like $11 a gallon. It's like the heroin.

I was going to say, is this the people that shop at aeronans? It's like paying more. It's right on the corner of like Fairfax and something. It's always on the Los Angeles subreddit. People are constantly showing a picture of it. Insane. It's crazy.

I want to get into some animal news. Here we go. Let's do it. What's in the news? But wait. Pump your brakes. All right. Hold on baby birds.

All right. Everybody sign off. We're not going to talk about animal news. Yeah. Now's a good time to leave the pod. Don't listen. It's the beginning of the year. Yeah.

Let's talk about. resolutions, plans for the year, big stuff. It's a big deal. People are into that every year. Do a news story first. Otherwise, people are going to sign. Let me think. Have you made a resolution?

No. No, me neither. All right, news story. And then resolutions. Good resolutions. What about you, Kyle? You got anything? No.

We're coming back to this. I'm not saying. All right, fine. All right. Well, here's some news from the end of November. What's in the news? Oh, yeah. Out loud, James.

So, news from the underground. Okay, this came out at the end of November. We may have discussed it very briefly, but it was very exciting. A gorgeous little fluffy golden mold. It sounds like you're describing what's in your pants. No, I got one on my back. It's pretty similar. No, it hadn't been seen since 1936.

Oh, wow. Was rediscovered. Now, it's always great when an animal is found that's been lost, blah, blah, blah. I want to show a picture of the animal. Kyle, pull it up. It's an adorable-looking little thing. Turns out it was living in the sand dunes. And, of course, it's hard to find a mall, right?

Yeah. It was living in the sand dunes on the beaches of this area of South Africa, believed extinct since 1936. They trained a bunch of dogs on museum specimens. Dogs went sniffing down the beach, found them all. Wow. Dug it up, found them all. Now, here's what's funny.

Here's why I wanted to talk about this story. This news breaks, and my buddy, Philip in South Africa sends me a WhatsApp message. He goes, is this the mole that's all over the news? Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, 100%. It was just a picture? Just a picture. Okay.

I have a dead one on the beach. I'm like, yeah, 100% where'd you get that? He's like, is this also it? Is this also it? He sent me like five pictures. Were they all dead? All dead.

What? And I was like, Philip, where are you getting these pictures? He's like, oh, my dog catches one of these on the beach like at least once a week and rips it to shreds. And has been, and has been his whole life walking on the beach. Yeah. And I was like, you chose now to tell me this?

I was like, this would have been a fantastic episode of the show. Yeah. Now, where does he live? Is it like in a remote area? No, he lives in St. Lusia, South Africa. I mean, it's relatively remote. you can look it up. It's a beautiful little town, right?

Near to where they found the Winton's mall. And yeah, his dog, he's like everybody in town's dogs kill these things all the time. So what's different about this mole versus just a regular, your standard garden? But I mean, it looks very fat. By the way, that's what St. Lucia's famous for. Go to the second picture. The hippos walk through town there. Oh, yeah.

I've seen this picture. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, this small town, you might get trampled by a hippo. This mole lives ocean front in the same. doesn't have any eyes. Can't even see the view. And nobody looks for it.

Well, they train these dogs to look for it. Yep. Crazy. What's the weather like there? Warm? It's, yeah, pretty Florida-esque, hot, sticky. If I couldn't see, that's where I'd want to be. So I think I, I know I mentioned that I'd done some work at the end of last year with these

dogs that are invasive species hunting in Florida. That's right. And so I was just talking about this last night because we were, we were grilling. Yeah. Right. It had a big plate of foot long, all beef super dogs. I like the sound of this. Big plate of cheese burgers.

Did you get invited to this? No, he doesn't invite me to anything. Kyle, you? Nor does he respond to time. My father-in-law's in town. We're just grilling. I wouldn't want to go there. I would have said no.

Kicking back. A couple of fat tires throwing some. Anyway, so my dog is fucking honed in, right? Yeah. On the grill. Yeah. It's just like, this smells so good. Oh, yeah.

Because I season up those burgers real nice. Yeah. And that's why he was a phone in. But it just smells so good. I'm like, all right. And so I'm talking to my father-in-law, I'm like, you know, they say dogs between 10,000 and 100,000 times better sense of smell than us. Right.

Yeah. Is life just, dude, can they turn it off? No. Dude, they stick their nose and shit. Like, what is Charlie thinking right now? We got this lovely pine-scented candle going. It's just like, oh, my God. Turn that off.

It's got to be so overwhelming. You know what I think of it? And loki wish I wasn't saying this out loud. But like my dog, who's about Charlie's size, Hoover, sleeps in the bed with me every night. Goes under the covers. I think I know what you're doing in there. I fart at least once per night under the cover.

At least once. I love it. I love it, man. At least once. Okay, more than once. But the point being, that poor dog. Yeah. I feel bad for my wife if she's in the room.

No. But Hoover chinks is to go under there the next night. Every night. Listen, every night. This is what males in our society do. One time when I was a kid, my brother pinned me on the couch and he got his butt hole around on my mouth while it was open and farting. No, there's no way this is true. I swear to fucking God.

He got his nude buttocks over here. No, it wasn't nude. He had like sweatpants on. That's even worse. It was like the old gray. Yeah, that's been all like worn underwearless. But this is what male humans spend their time doing. That's true.

That's hideous. I fart near my kids. No, but dude, it's a vivid memory. Like one of those memories that I remember the color of the couch, his sweatpants. Did you try and fight him? Oh, yes, dude. Of course. Let's have him call in and find out if this is true.

He's coming out. I'll have him record a clip. To tell you how I know that this is actually true, my four-year-old ran up. So we brought Rudd in the baby and put him down in the car seat, like on the floor. He was still sort of sleeping. He's the chillest kid ever. So he woke up and was just happily like, nanky-go-go-go-go. on the floor, and Rhodes comes tearing down the driveway,

smashes open the door, runs over, and runs to where his brother is in the car seat on the hardwood floor and puts his butt in his face and farts. And goes, ha-ha, I farted in Red's face to, like, be in his mom. And I was like, do I beat him? Do I high-five him? Yeah, I'm not sure how to react. The only reason you'd beat him is if it's a pink guy.

No, a good point. So, have you guys been to the grocery store lately? Despise it. I hate it. It won't go. Made hamburgers the other night. for three people, 60 bucks to cook. I'm not surprised.

Furiating. Yeah. Not to mention the takeout fees. You know, we all have two kids. Got a baby. Yep. No time. No time.

Forrest turned me on to factor. It's true. Meal prep. Really good. Fantastic. They send you the meals. You got 35 meals every week you get to pick from. Everything.

Keto, calorie smart, high protein, vegan, whatever you want. Nice. It is changed the game at the Papa P house. they got the add-ons. You can do smoothies, all sorts of stuff. Great for the New Year's resolution. It's quick. Quick. You don't have to go.

You don't have to figure out the recipe. You don't have to do all that. The food's already there. It's less than half the price of groceries or takeout. It has truly been a positive little joy. Dude, I'm glad you're enjoying it. Yeah. How do people get involved?

Well, you could head to factormeels.com slash wild 50 and use the code wild 50. to get 50% off. That's half off. Wow. That's that's nearly half off. That's code wild 50 at factor meals.com slash wild 50 to get 50% off.

Pick off your new year the right way. You want to eat like these adonis? Yeah. This is how you do it. I saw you flex your packs there. I did a little. Can I do my crunch noise? It's good.

Good. Go get it. A forest. Pants look tight. It's all about the bulge. It's all about the bulge. It's my doers, man. I'm not joking.

I've been telling you. I mean, I know you know because you're wearing the exact same jeans. I've had them on for two months. Dude, they're so comfortable. It feels like I'm in sweats. They're the only pants that I have that if I don't wash them for a week, they don't smell. Well, they're antimicrobial. So whatever it is, it's a miracle of science.

They're literally my favorite jeans or my favorite pants. I look good instead of looking like I'm wearing sweats all the time now because it's like wearing sweats. Let me ask you this. Are your legs sweaty? Not one bit. Okay. No. It's probably the cool max technology.

Must be. Whatever it is, it's delightfully comfortable and everybody should get them. Whether you're wearing them around the house or going out on an adventure. That's what's great about these pants. They last forever because they don't subscribe to the fast fashion thing, which I actually really, really appreciate. Yeah, I respect the hell of that. Good for the planet.

Good on them. Get one good pair of pants. Well, hey, I absolutely love my doer jeans, and I know you guys do too. Yeah, you could check out the flagship stores. They have them in Denver and L.A. Or shop online at shopdoer.com slash wild. And right now our listeners can get 15% off at shopdoer.com. That's shop, d ueer.com slash wild.

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Need a hiring hero? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. Okay, so let's say you could experience what it's like to enhance your sense of smell by 10,000 times. The low end of the estimate of the dumbest dog. Yeah. And use me? How long would you want to try it for? Like I'm telling you you can have this power.

So overstimulating. But if you could get used to it, then you'd be. basically be a superhero. That's what I'm saying. They must know how to turn it on and off and control it. Otherwise, the amount of stimulation would be insane. But it's got to be like us hearing. You can't turn your hearing off. You know what I mean? You can't be like, yeah. You can tune something out. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and think about what humans do. We tune out so much bullshit. They do the same thing. It's got to be. I take it 10,000 for life. Don't care. I take it for life. Infinity. Really? Because you're then a superhero. You're an actual

Marvel superhero at that point. You're like a crime-solving. Be like, I'd be so useless Down the block. Yeah, it would be so... I mean, I already do that, but... You would just be doing that. You'd be like, up, neighbors are meeting Taco Bell again. That's true.

That would be pretty gnarly. Yeah. Could you imagine living in, like, an apartment building? Oh, God. Yeah. Imagine me... So, there's always this weird thing that... Like, so when you guys walk into here,

it does it... It's like probably a pungent smell of some type, right? He's definitely like, oh, there's a new deodor in or cologne that just came in. Or like, in a while, it's like a smell of a house, right? Right. And then so if you leave a few days, you come back and you smell your house, you're like, holy shit. Like this has its own unique smell. Yeah, it smells good to me. Yeah, it smells like that candy. I'm not saying it's bad. Here's a thing that's happened to me. And I'll be honest.

Godd and I realize. I'm going to point every time, Kyle. No, I've realized that I fucked up. We went to the Canberra Christmas Market a little while ago. And we're walking around and Rhodes goes, Daddy, do you smell that? Smells a gingerbread. And I was like, do you smell that? She's like, yeah, it smells great. I was like, yeah, for sure. It smells great. I've destroyed my scent glands using smelling salts at the gym. Really? I'm sure of it. I can't smell fucking anything anymore.

Dude, because I've been hitting, dude, we upgraded to these salts called ah, a, h, h, h, ha, h,

if you hold it here, you're like, huh, Jesus, what is why are you guys upgrading salt? This is ludicrous. It's such a treat, though.

I feel like Forrest is going to show up in February. He's going to be all skinny. He's like, dude, we upgraded from smelling salts to bath salts. Yeah. Like, we're going here.

Huge. I'm squatting five. It's kind of like this is the weirdest thing you've ever done. I'm really into it, though. He loves it. It's such a good gateway. Don't do this, kids. He starts smiling the second he thinks about his nonsense. Oh, as like a drug addict myself in recovery.

Yeah. It's the thought of doing the drug is almost sometimes more intoxication. Stimulating. Stimulating. Bro, there's no, like when I get, so I stopped at this little bourbon shop. And my father-in-law is a connoisseur of bourbon. Got into it in retirement. It's like his hobby.

That's a nice thing. Yeah. So much better than woodworking. It's like, great. Let's go saw something together. Right. It's like, oh, we can drink bourbon together? Yeah, let's do that.

So much more productive. It's funny. You say that because he's retired. And his other thing he does is he's got like a really top of the line, like awesome chainsaw. And he just goes and chops wood for all his friends. But how much do you want to be involved in that? I don't want to be involved in that at all.

That's what I'm saying. be involved in the bourbon. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. My wife's husband likes, my wife's husband, I've never heard of that guy. My wife's father,

my father-in-law, likes woodworking. Yeah. I don't want to go fucking woodwork with you. In silence. Yeah. Just like fucking shaving a plank down or something. Yeah.

Listening to the wild times, I presume. Of course. But I learned this about bourbon because we went to this like fun bourbon shop yesterday. And, you know,

you can buy like $300 bottles. Yeah. But like there's a bunch of $50 bottles that are like have won blind taste tests over like the Pappy Van Winkles and these three five hundred dollar bottles but there's they each store gets an allocation of like one case a year okay and so you gotta know somebody to figure out how to get it we went into this one and there was they had one that he's been trying to get for like two years for wow a bottle it's called eagle rare 10 years 50 bucks got a bottle so even with that demand of trying to get

for years, they're still keeping the price of $50 a bottle. Yeah. I think it's like a set thing. Like, I think you're only allowed to do that. Yeah, like your distributor. So like Eagle Rare is made by Knob Creek. Oh, yeah. The same distillery.

Yeah, yeah. And so I think your, your Knob Creek distributor is like, here's your case of Eagle Rare. I see. But like, I don't want to come in and see it for 200 bucks. Yeah, got you. I didn't know that's how that worked. So we got a bottle. We didn't crack it last night.

But when I left the house this morning was like, hey, we're cracking that Eagle Rare tonight, right? when I get back, he's like, oh yeah. And the whole drive over, I was just like, yeah. Like such a good mood because of it. Oh, yeah. When I used to drive down to the city to get heroin and crack, I swear to God, going through the toll and smoking a cigarette,

I was just like, oh, yeah, it's going to be a good night. I can't tell him any of this to the Joker. No, it's true. Yeah, it's true. I was watching the Seahawks game and it was rainy. And I just immediately, this was last night. and got a fucking instant memory of me and Peter going to the football game in Seattle.

I mean, it was a good time. And then we're lingering around in a bad part of town. And the guy comes up, he's like, literally, it's like out of like dare program from sixth grade. Yeah. He's like, you guys looking to score? It was ludicrous. And Peter goes, yeah.

He's like, what do you got? And the guy just has one dirty crack rock in his hand. No way. And Peter just goes, ugh, crack, fuck off. Well, dude. Preface this with, so we brought binoculars, right, for the game. That's how bad your seats were? No, so our Airbnb, though, we were just really into binoculars or something.

We went through a big binoculars days. So we're there and right below us, we're on like third in Pike, which is a pretty famous thing. We're close to it. They throw the fish. Oh, yeah. We're like right up the street from that. So you'd think, you'd think like, oh, this is a nice area. No.

It's literally prostitutes and crackheads walking or. around on the street, but we had binoculars. So we were just, and we were way up high in this Airbnb. And we were just like, scoping the whole thing out. And then later that night, I got locked out and had to sleep outside with them. Did you realize? Yes, he did. Where to fucking got in a lot?

Yep. No binoculars. I just fell asleep. Some guy came up to me. Oh, wow. I know we've told this on the tin can. I know we've told this on the time, but it's some of the most fun you can have as an adult is you rent a place in a real crazy area. Yeah. And we just sat up there. I just treated myself

to a new pair of Swarovskis. Oh, good for you. I remember when you bought your Swarovskys. Yeah, I remember that. And we just sat up on like the 14th floor balcony, just cooler full of beer. People watching. And just watched insane, crazy shit going down. It's great. It was fantastic. Yeah, people watching, I think we've talked

about this before. If you ever have nothing to talk about with somebody, you just like, strike up a little like, hey, what's his story? Well, that was your advice to the Brosner's to first date, It's great. It works every time. Make up stories about people. You know, you know how Pat gets like super, super angry sometimes about irrational shit? I haven't gotten angry in like two and a half years. Well, this, I mean, when we went to the Seattle game, it was like 2017. So we're still getting angry. Pat, you remember what you got angry about there? He's Andy from the office. Oh, the Wi-Fi wasn't working. And you remember what you did? Uh, I like rage called the Airbnb office. It was crazy. Like insane rage. And then I'm like, dude, chill out. Like. They're going to fuck us somehow.

Yeah. Wi-Fi didn't work the whole weekend. And then I was drunk and I raged. It was crazy, bro. And then like, it was like, today's your last day to review the Airbnb. And I was like, ah, whatever, fuck it.

And then literally I get a thing. It's like you've been reviewed as a customer. And with like one second left to go in the period, they left me a one-star review. Oh, no. And so I don't even do Airbnb anymore. That's right. You're not allowed.

Yeah. Yeah, I got a bad review. on Airbnb and I also haven't used it. That was like in 2016. I haven't used it since. You think Airbnb's kind of tanked. It sucks. It was really a big deal and now it's like.

Here's why, dude. Because oh, hey, it's, it's 159 a night times two nights. Awesome. Click to check out. $14,000. Yeah. That's your, no doubt.

It's so fucking stupid. All right. $1,000. So I saw a piece of news. All right. Yeah. I got some bag on track. Back on track.

I feel like we've never been more on track. Peter's talking about his crack addiction. It's great. He slugged beer. It was heroin. Crack was just a nice little positive plus. So this happened to end of last year, but during that holiday days where no one's really

watching this kind of news. Yeah. The reason I'm bringing this up is because the creature is so cool looking. I like that. A very rare baby Sumatran Rhino was born in Wakeombos National Park. Ah. And I was like, you know, I know Sumatran rhinos are rare. and, you know, critically endangered, I'm assuming, right?

Yes, very, and struggling very hard. Take a look at how cute this baby. Yeah, I've never seen one of these. Let me see. So, old rhinos are cute. Oh, my God. Look at these shaggy Sumatran rhinos. They're next level.

Oh, is that fur? That's real. Yeah, they're born very hairy. Oh, my goodness. How ridiculous is that? That's a real animal, by the way. Like, that's something that you see like a claymation of. Yeah.

Yeah. Totally. That's an animal that we would make in the, in a Battle Royale game. Yeah. Or for cutest animal. That's a big deal. Are all rhinos born hairy or just the Sumatran? No, just the Sumatran.

Is there like an evolutionary speculation that you have? I don't know. It's a good question. I mean, it's probably to do with the fact that they're the only rhinos, like the Indonesian rhinos, are the only rhinos that are really born like in a deep jungle. So it's probably, I mean, it keeps the mosquitoes away? The insects or? Yeah, I mean, probably, yeah, I don't know.

It definitely could keep it from insects, but you'd argue that that would be the same problem they'd have in Africa. Yeah, you're right. So I don't know. There you go. I don't know why. According to Kyle's Google, the hair helps keep mud cake to the body, which keeps them cool. And protects from insects.

Yeah. I mean, it makes sense. But, you know, again, you'd wonder why is that different from the African rhinos. Right. So Africa is where rhinos are that we always talk about, right? Yes. But the thing about the Sumachian rhino, too, that might be sort of more reminiscent. Like, you know, like whales have, like snakes have hip bones.

Whales have thumbs? No, of course I didn't know that. Well, they do. Sumatran rhinos are also more closely related to the extinct woolly rhinos. So it might be the same as snakes still having hip joints. Oh, they still have hip joints as if like they're just extra pendenties. So snakes over evolutionary time lost their legs, right? They're basically lizards without legs.

Yeah. And so you can still see in some snakes morphology like where their hips would have been. Yeah. But, you know, just very, very loosely. Gotcha. That's something that has been weaned out over evolutionary time. The Sumatran rhino is more closely related to the woolly rhino than the African rhino. So that might be like a little

reminiscent, you know. A vestigial organ? Exactly. Google vestigial organs in humans. Did you say that whales have thumbs? Yeah. What? Well, because they evolved from mammals. Right. Well, they didn't involve. They are mammals, but they evolved from land creatures that did, that had hands. That is wild. I didn't want to say it and be talking shit, but yeah, the appendix is thought to be a vestigial organ.

It means pointless, basically, right? Appendage. It's a vestige, which means a remnant of a time. long past. So you might say something like, you know, the shirt Forrest chose today is a vestigial shirt of this 1970s when that shirt was cool. This shirt's still wiggin. You wear the same looking outfit, calm down. Yeah, your shirt's way cooler than mine. That's like a shirt, Calso on that 70s show used to wear. Mipples. Is that vestigial or is that just for looks? I mean, it would look terrible without them. It would look so plain. You'd look like a Ken.

You would look like a Ken. Yeah. But so the, the appendix, though, used to be, used for filtering stuff out of raw meat, wasn't it or something to that? I think. Or I thought it was maybe from, yeah, our diet was different and we needed something. But nipples have always been useless on men. Yes, but all mammals have them. Yeah, it's so strange, isn't it? Even Charlie has nipples. You can milk anything with nipples, fucker. The stigial whale. The whale also has like a floating bone somewhere like in its ass, I think. A float bone. Oh, there you go. Vestigil pelvis. Oh, that's kind of what you're talking about. That's what's talking about. Yeah. Oh, so the whale has the pelvis.

Either way, it's fascinating. Yeah, but it's just kind of floating in there. Just a nice, useless hip bone. That you got to lug around. This is how I know that. Which probably weighs hundreds of pounds. Right. On a blue whale?

Yeah. Well, this is how I know that evolution is fake and creationism is real. Yeah, that's right. Because God was like, let me put these useless parts into everything. Yeah. Just mine exploded. It was great. It's right.

Yeah. Your appendix? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Pat, how many subscriptions are you signed up for? Just in life?

Yeah, in life. Anywhere from 10 to 500. Dude, I just, it just came to my attention because I don't look at my credit card statement that I'd been paying for the gym next to my old condo for three years, like $2,400 for a gym I didn't know about. So you don't even know how much you're paying in subscriptions? None. Zero idea.

Me too, and it's infuriating, and it's been infuriating me for the past three years. But there's this new app that I just got called Rocket Money. Okay. Tell me about it. What does it do? Dude, so basically I opened this app up, and I loaded all my bank stuff into it. It just linked right up to my banks. I just signed in.

I didn't have to do anything else. And it showed me all the recurring subscriptions that I have. And it was just like, boom, boom, boom, boom, put it all right there on the dashboard. and I'm like, oh, boom, don't need that, which was Netflix because I had, was paying for it twice. Boom, boom. I'm just like. Cancel, cancel, cancel. Cancel, cancel.

Save myself some money immediately. And also, I'm kind of a budgeting nerd. And my favorite, the budgeting app that I used for years and years just is going away out of nowhere. And this one takes care of budgeting too. It's rocket money. It's a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwatchets and subscriptions, monitors you're spending and helps lower your bills. I heard Rocket Money has over

5 million users and has helped save its members an average of $720 a year. That's insane. With over $500 million in canceled subscriptions. Yeah, $7.20 a year. Think of how much wine you could buy with that, Pat. My wine is cheap. That's like 60

bottles. So stop wasting money on things that you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney dot com slash wild times. That's rocketmoney.com slash wild time. Rocketmoney.com slash wild times. Hey guys, if you're enjoying, whoops.

Guys, if you like The Wild Times, check us out on Patreon. We put out four extra podcasts per month. That's one commute a week that you're just going to be laughing and learning the whole time in the car. I do something else. This is the late night content, stuff that we can't show on YouTube because they'll kick us off YouTube. It's the Cinemax of Podcasts. Uncensored, raw dog. It's the Cinemax of podcasts.

Check it out. Link right here. I was literally leaving to go study. I was leaving for New Zealand the next morning. Okay. And just was like feeling real crappy after dinner. And I was like, man, I don't know if there's like gas or something. And I was like, what the fuck?

And it was getting worse and worse and worse. Dumbic pain? Like shooting pain. Yeah, like a real sharp like a dull ache. And then I was like, this can't be my appendix. And I went and I googled and it says to go from your left hip bone to your belly button, make a line. Go two thirds of the way up and press. And if that hurts, it's your appendix.

Interesting. And I did it and it hurt like a motherfucker. Yeah, like couldn't tolerate it. Yeah. And so I just, I was, it was in college. So I was staying at my mom's house over the break. And I was like, I need to go to the hospital. My appendix is exploding.

She's like, all right. And so then you go in, and then they got to do fucking 14 tests. Yeah. You're like, just take the fucking thing out of me. Yeah. Yeah. One of them, dude, they had to sonogram my nuts. What?

They were like that ache could be a torsion test. Your testicles get twisted. Oh, twisticles. Yeah. Yeah, you know on that. And so let me tell you, when they give you a sonogram, they don't press down that lightly. Oh, God. You're an excruciating pain.

Oh, my God. They gave me some morphine. And I was looking at my stepdad and they put the morphine in my IV. Yeah. Pre-surgery. And I was just like, oh, yeah. Everything's fine now. Yeah, I don't care what happens.

Everything's good. And then they took it out. And they get, I read my little report, spent a night in the hospital, read the report that it had ruptured and was extremely foul smelling. Oh, geez. You're in trouble. Yeah, it was no good. Yeah. But that, but dude, they just put like, they don't even cut you open.

Oh, really? They just put a couple little scopes in, one through your belly button, pull that shit out, don't even like have scars. Oh, interesting. Went to Australia like four or five days later. That's the technique that the doctor described me for the vasectomy I never got that I was going to get. Good boy. Yeah. I'm saving for a V-Marty.

So these New Year's resolutions. Oh, yeah. Forget about those. Have you thought of any? Do you have one? You brought it up for us. I'm assuming you have. Well, I got my thing.

I want to give you guys this. Talk about this. What the hell is that? Here, take a look. A little present for you guys. Okay. Workout chocolate, dark chocolate, 62% cocoa.

18 grams of protein. Yeah, take a look at that. Wait, so it's... Open that up. So is this... Present. Is this one of your resolutions that you're going to just rip

some smelling salts and eat workout? And he's just going to eat chocolate. Give one to Kyle. What do you guys think? Iron fiber. He's getting to something. He's being weird. He is weird.

He's giggling over there. All right. Think of such things. Give it a taste. See what you think. This wasn't really a resolution, but I didn't have anything to say. Yeah, I mean, most people go, like, I'm going to lose weight.

I'm going to quit smoking. I'm going to quit drinking. I'm just like, those are all the things I like doing. Yeah, why would I stop that? I'm going to eat the whole fucking thing. So what's, what's the, what are you doing? Yeah, what's going on? Try it.

See if you like it. We'll talk, see if you like, you know, just a little present. This might be a new sponsor of the pod. Who knows? You're such a fucking weirdo. I am. Oh, wow. It's a very dark chocolate.

Yeah, but it doesn't taste like, not bitter. though. Yeah, it's not better. Well, it doesn't taste like protein bar. No, that's the difference. Yeah. So, now I'll explain what it is. Nice. Nice. A couple years ago, I was on one of those Indonesia trips where they serve you

sugar and rice for dessert. That sounds so good. It's not, though. It is for two days. For two days, you're like, this is amazing. It's just rice with white sugar over it, and this is dessert. And then I got really over it in, like, the month or two that I was there. And, you

You know me a long time. I have a sweet tooth. Yes. I care for sweets. You like a little sweet bite? I do. I like a sweet bite. Not a lot, but just something.

Is that why your face is so swollen? It must be. Yeah. Well, but that is why I call them a little sweet bite. Well, he's got the head to size of a balloon. Yeah, but can go through a brick wall. True. All right.

And anyway, so I came up with this idea while on that trip, like, why isn't there a healthy high protein dessert? Because you never get enough protein on those trips, right? Especially when you go to other countries that don't eat a lot of meat. and it took two years to R&D this. Oh, so this is your thing? R&D? My product. You did this?

What a fucking weird out? Yep. You've never talked about this. No, it's taken two years. I partnered with two buddies, one who's a chocolate. No wonder you're never available to pod. Yeah, I'm busy making products. And, you know, rumor on the street is...

The packaging is fantastic. Thank you. Yeah. Look at this. Look at this website we got here. Oh, so it's like a real thing you guys. It's a real thing. It launched on January 1st.

Word on the street is Mr. Beast actually copied me with his chocolate bars. Definitely. That's what I've been hearing. But, no, but yeah, this is our thing. We came up with workout chocolate. It's the only gourmet high-protein chocolate in the world. And I'm stoked. I wanted to talk about it.

See if you guys liked it before I just told you. I kind of was snickering, so you obviously knew something was up. But yeah, just five ingredients, high-protein, good chocolate. Now that I know it's you, I'm like, I'm being critiquing it. Yeah. And it's actually like normally I'd probably just tell you it's fucking awful because it's you, but it's actually really good. So I don't know.

Take the whole bar down. You'll get 18 grams of proteins, huh? That's it. Which you need. So that's interesting because I've thought about this. You know, sometimes you make like a protein shake. You have all these fun flavors like cinnamon oil. Oh, yeah.

And I was like, man, why don't they make a protein ice cream, you know? That would be great. And so I bought an ice cream maker and it's still in the box. Yeah, of course. Yeah, this is like four years ago. That's as far as you get typically with something, with a thought like that. Yeah. Fortunately, I had a buddy who is a chocolatier.

runs this place called 24. I couldn't make this. But together, yeah, I was going to ask, what, how did this fucking, how did this even come about? So I had this idea and then I was working out with my buddy Lucas, who I work out with. And I was saying it to him, because he's in like health and wellness. He owns gyms and stuff. And I was like, what do you think? Like, do you think people? And he's like, dude, I have so many female clients that don't get enough protein, but they're all they talk about is sweets wise is chocolate, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we came up with this, this workout chocolate. Spilled beer everywhere. Everywhere.

Keep rolling. Keep rolling. No, that is. And yeah, I came up with us. You're good, dude. That's funny. Is it, though? Now your whole couch is going to smell like beer.

You got to dab it. Yeah. No, it's a good idea. Nice dark chocolate. Yeah. Are you going to do alternate flavors? That's the plan. If this goes well, which so far, so good.

And if this goes well, we're going to expand into, you know, a different line of flavors. What is it? Way protein? or peat protein? It's weight protein. Just five ingredients in it. Healthy. Good protein. Good chocolate. Why did you guys decide to go dark as your launch? Is that because it sort of hides the protein tastes better? No, it's less ingredients. So milk chocolate's more processed, more synthesized,

it takes more sugar. So we just wanted to keep it as simple and clean as we could. Very cool. Congrats. I mean, you know, as someone who's been involved in a million ideas that got off the finish line, but never further than that. Yeah. It's pretty cool that you saw this through. Look real, like a real thing. Yeah, we're going. We've got manufacturing in place.

It's available on Amazon. You can buy it on Amazon and on our website. Okay. I hate your chocolate. No. It's the reason this happened. Put us in touch. Put us in touch.

Put us in touch with your business. With your business person. We'll consider bringing them on as a sponsor. I think so. But I'm stoked. I'm glad you guys like it. I wanted to share it. And yeah, happy to actually.

I've never launched a product before. So kind of. That is exciting. book. You did your book. That's true. But it's not really a product. Somebody else wrote that for him. That's true. Come on. Let's do lunch. Let's do lunch. brunch. Yeah, no. That came out of Forrest's mouth. So when you wrote the book, how did that process work? Because obviously, there's a writer. Yeah. And so are you just spending hours on the phone being interviewed? So I started writing it myself. I wrote the proposal, got the book, most of the proposal, got the book to a point, or got the proposal to a point that I thought a publisher would be interested.

Okay. Went through the agents. The agents found two buyers who bidded, you know, went in a little bidding war, which drove the price up, which was awesome, settled on one of the buyers. And then on boarded a ghost writer, this guy named Michael Signorelli, awesome, awesome dude. And yeah, and then Michael and I would go back and forth and we'd do phone calls. And, you know, I outlined how I wanted the book to be. Sure. And then we'd go back and forth and I'd dictate to him and tell stories and he'd put it down into thoughts and ideas and send me a chapter or a paragraph and I'd restructure it. And it's a lengthy process, but it's really fun, really, really fun. Yeah, I bet. How long did it take once Michael came on? Six months.

Okay. Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah, it's a heap of work. Did it sell well? Did it pretty well. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like, uh, it's like, nah, sucked. No, I mean, it did less than I was. I thought it would do better, but it's still in the top like 300 or whatever in that category on Amazon, whatever that category is. Yeah. And, you know, it met all the numbers that like the publisher was wanting it to meet. So, you know, there talks about doing another one. I just need to find the time.

So, Boris, you're turning into a regular old entrepreneur, aren't you? Yeah, I got a podcast that's budding. I got a chocolate company. I got books going. Man. It's just good because TV's in the fucking gutters. So if I didn't do these other things, I'd be doing crack on the streets. your buddies in Seattle.

We did it in the... Oh, yeah, no, they did. I thought you were talking about me in the minivan. My mom's minivan. Dude, I'm sorry. I have to apologize for that. I know I just... I'm out of breath.

That was... That was awful. Very winded for a guy who didn't walk up any stairs. I did. I went up the stairs silently. I was watching him go, and I was like, he's not making any noise.

It's crazy. I got to get... Oh, well, I was just going to say, so your New Year's resolution is to sell as much chocolate as you can? Yeah. Launch that product. You know, like Patrick, I don't have big goals.

I like drinking. I don't. Why does you bring him into that? Did he just say that? You know, it's like I like all the things that I do. Oh, you mean like the big, big goals for New Year's? People cut out drinking. They work out more, blah, blah, I like working out.

I'm not going to work out more or less. I'm going to keep doing the same amount of doing. I also like boozing. I don't do it every night. I do it once every, once a week maybe, once every two weeks. Great. Not a big deal. Like, just going to coast.

Sure. Yeah. I'm coasting this year. That's my goal is to continue coasting. Continue coasting. Okay. Maintain status quo. Yeah.

I mean, I'd like to work out a little more. It's been horrible, dude. I can't, like, the past two years, I've had one kid than another kid. So it's like, I'm waiting for this newborn phase to be over so that I can get control of my life back. That's my goal. I wish you live 15 minutes for me because I drag you to the gym with me every day and make you huff so many smelling salts. Oh, my God. We'd have such a good time.

Why didn't you start a smelling salt company? Thinking about it? Yeah. It's just like urine. I got an idea. You know how like Cracker Jacks? They include a toy in the box? You should include one smelling salt in each box of your chocolate.

That's an idea. There you go. Did you see this chick who sold her bath water? No. Made millions of dollars? No. You know what I'm talking about? No.

I don't know if it's only fans or it's as social media platform. It's genius. It is genius. She's like mediocrely hot. There, this chick with the pink hair and just would like, I'm gonna fuck this all up but she'd sit in a bathtub and like live stream on Twitch or something. Yeah.

And then sell the water out of the tub to perverts. It's literally genius. 4.2 million on Instagram, blah, blah, blah. Garner more than 500,000 likes. But if you see the amount of money that she made doing this, it's disgusting. So you get, so you pay 30 bucks, you get a bottle of the water that she sat in.

It's a good price point, by the way. How is that a good price point? If you're into this, it's a good, dude, Kyle was telling me earlier they're selling candles that smell like tennis balls for 50. Wow. She has people that pay $2,500 a month to get on her Snapchat. Wow.

And $4,000 on Patreon. Guys, catch up. Yeah. She's killing us. But what did she make? Is there, is there, oh, 1.5 mil. I think I just saw it. Scroll down.

Keep going. That's heinous. Yeah. She made 1.5 mil selling her. Keep going, Kyle. Keep going, keep going. But what's wrong with this? I think this is great.

Keep going. She's an entrepreneur. No, no, that's something else. No, there's nothing wrong with it. I just couldn't believe it. And I was like, all right, if this chick can make a million bucks on tub water, I'm going to make a few bucks out on some chocolate. Oh, people drink it. 10 million.

10 million? That's how much you made? 21 years old, 10 mil. And that's, by the way. That's pounds, by the way. So times up by 1.3, that's $13 million. Well, 11.3 million. Good point.

Yeah. No, no, no. I think you're right. 1.3 would be 13 mil. Yeah. But so, dude, so there was this chick on 90. I'd retire if I had $13. Correct. Yeah. She's 21. She ain't retired. She's just getting started.

Imagine what you could do with $21 million at $21. If you actually, like, were wise. Just put it in the index fund. You can't do that. You cannot do that. Put it into a high yield savings account. You'll be making thousands a month. That would be the right thing to do, but you can't do that at 20. Your brain doesn't work.

You guys know I watch a lot of reality television and all that. Yes. There's a chick on. There's a chick on 90-day fiancé who started selling her farts in a jar. This has been done for years. Oh, it has been. Yeah, this was a thing.

I remember back on the Howard Stern show, there was a foreign star, who jarred farts. Interesting. I mean, I knew about like socks and underwear. Bathwater's new, but the jar farts, I was like, who wants that?

What do you think of ringlets of Peter's hair? What's a ringlet? You know. It's one of those ring. One little ringlet. What's a ring? Hey, listen, if you're watching this, put a comment in the video and say what you, if you're a hair pervert,

just say what you pay for a ringlet of Peter's hair because we'll sell it. But dude, I will clip him. It's got to be expensive, though, because there's only a limited supply. 100%. What about, listen, why don't? I don't have people comment and see if people. What about bathwater or your masturbatory socks? I haven't used socks since high school, fella.

All right. Well, we're talking about gross stuff. Just use your dogs back. I want to do a game. I want to do a game. All right, game time. Let's play a game. Do we have a jingle for this?

What's the game? He doesn't know what the game is. Producer Edwin has put together a game. We've played a lot of these types of games where Kyle will pull up a picture. Maybe it's an eye, you know, something about the animal. Close up of the body. This is called the animal poo game. Animal poo.

Let's do a jingle. There's a jingle. All right. No, no, come on. Animal poo. Animal poo. Animal poo. Animal poo. Come on, do something.

Animal poo. I did it. Animal poo. I said, yeah. The animal poogie. It's all right. Somebody can make it. Kyle's going to pull up a picture.

God, he's... Great friend. We'll try and identify the animal from its species. Kyle is the host of this game? Yeah. Producer Kyle, he's turning 15 this year. Yes, he did. So let's just say, Forrest, you can often identify an animal based on the scat.

Is that correct? I do care much for poop, yes. Yeah, all right. Edwin has even made fun of me for how much I got excited about poop on some of the shows. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There was a video of it, wasn't it? Maybe we'll pop it in, edit it in.

All right. Number one. That's a seagull? You guys should definitely go first on everything. You know this one? I can narrow it down, but not yet. Is there one picture per animal? Just one picture.

So it's a pile of white, crusted poop on some, the terrain is like black pebbly ground. Oh, the terrain, good call. So you're going to say a seagull? I don't think so. It's like a coil. It's like a nice coil. The ground made me kind of reconsider. that. Can I give you guys a hint?

Yes, please. Do you know why it's white? It's died. It's white because whatever animal this is eats a lot of bones and the calcium has turned the poop white. Have we talked about this animal? Oh, that's small, though. Well, that's the problem. There's no scale.

We don't know what continent it's on. All right, what's your guess? I'm going to go hyena, but it's wolf hyena, it's something like that. I'm going to say, uh... Wow. Uh... This is Komodo dragon. I'm going to go with

Tasmanian devil. This is the animal. This is the poo from an African lion. A lion. Oh my God. So the lions just chowling through bone? Oh, yeah. All your carnivores will end up with white poo that dries in the sun from the calcium that comes out.

Wow. But see, the problem is this game, well, we should continue to play it without any contact. Yeah, you need a little quarter. You got to have a size or a continent or something because every, that could also be the poop of a leopard. That could also be the poop of a cheetah. That could also be the poop of a

hyena. Without scale in some context, it's really hard. No, no excuses. No excuses. More getting them right. Yeah, exactly. Very good. Number two, here we go. Oh, wow. This is a weird looking poop. It looks like a pecan pie. Oh, it looks quite tasty, actually. It looks payday bar. Yeah. Yeah, totally. It's a delicious looking feces. Uh, what is that? Is that nuts and seeds? Those are nuts. Oh, those are seed sheds. You can see the inside of them. Oh, both. This has got to be, so this is the close-up of, this has got to be a bird of some sort.

I'm just going to go ahead and say that this is the shit of a bird of some sort. I think it's a, I mean, what is known for eating lots of nuts? An adorable chipmunk. Chipmunk. Chipmunk, your ex-girl. Chipmunk poop. This is a full brown bear poop. all incorrect.

What is it? This is the poop of a civet. Oh, yeah. The luwok civet. So actually that makes sense. Do you guys know about this? You know what luac coffee is? Tell us.

Oh, no. Have you ever heard of this? What? Get out of here. You know what this is, Cal? I've tried it, yeah. You've tried it. I've tried it, too.

I've tried it, too. I've tried it, too, have some of my freezer. Llewok coffee. It's actually pretty heinous. I shouldn't admit that I have some of my freezer. But I didn't know this when I bought the bag and blah, blah, blah, and then found out. But my first trip to Indonesia,

everywhere we went. They're like, you want Luak coffee? I was like, yeah, what's Luat coffee? Lua coffee is, and I say it's heinous because I found out how they treat the animals later. But in the wild in Indonesia, these palm civets will run around these coffee plantations

and eat all the coffee beans and shit out what you're seeing there. And then they'll make coffee from it because it's partially digested. It's taken the hard rind off of the coffee and it makes super velvety smooth coffee. Interesting. Somebody figured this out by steeping...

How's this... How's Luat's spell? I always think about that. Look it up, Kyle. L-E-W-A-T. It's the word for Lu-A-W-A-T. Sorry, not Lu-W-A-K. But now, sadly, what they do is they cage these things

and force-feed them coffee beans all day. Jesus. So, yeah, I didn't realize that at the time. But what's crazy is the coffee is tremendous, but they give it to them like this. See where the coffee bean hasn't been dried or anything else? And they eat like the fleshy stuff off the coffee bean and poop out the grounds ready to go.

So these civets are just caffeine to the gills. Oh, okay. Can you imagine? And they're psycho little animals. I was going to say they're already pretty feisty little creatures. Oh, yeah, no. Yeah. It goes back to that thing I always say with like that group of animals, like mustelids,

otters, ferrets, weasels. No, don't, don't mess with this. Don't mess with them. It'll destroy your world. These things got 15 feet long. They'd be the apex. Remember we got the civet in the, in the trap in Zanzibar? Oh, yeah.

And then we watched it. There was no animal in the trap. Yeah. It got caught in the, what's that kind of trap called? Pitfall trap. A pitfall trap. How does that work? Like your old school, like, you know.

Oh, like a stick on a box? Literally the game mouse trap. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But, I mean, it got caught in there. It was out in like seven seconds. Yeah. Just because it went wild.

Just dug a hole right under the bottom of the trap. Yeah. All right. Next. Next. Here we go. Go. Wow.

Some square poop. I know what this is. There is scale here. There's a scantron. test. Yeah, what a weird thing for sale. Who's on a Scantron test? It's a perfect little cube.

Yeah, Cube. Kids today won't even know what that is. True. They don't do Scantrons anymore. There's no way, right? Everything's on computers. Feel bad for the number two pencil guys. Dude, what a mess.

I know what it is. I know Forrest knows what it is. Can I have like a little hint? Sure. Lives in Australia. Kangaroo? Dungaroo? Let's narrow it down, shall we?

Yeah. The marsupial. I said kangaroo. Yeah, you did. There's more of them. Wallaby? Can you calm down for a second? Yeah.

It's the only animal that has square poops in the world. Okay. And it does this because it'll make little like mounds, little like pyramids of poop to mark its territory. I mean, this is the evidence for creationism right here. Yeah. If I told you this, let's, let's a test of Peter's memory. Okay.

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A cue, right? No. Oh, I was thinking Quoll. No, we're, oh, you don't know either. Yes, I do. Begins with a dub. Oh, it is wallaby. Nope.

Wombat. Wombat. Fuss. Yes. Use that for the jingle. Hey, they look like, uh, what was thinking, I don't know. I knew you. I didn't know what wombats look like capy bearers.

Dude, they're so cute. They're so cute. There's a Kyle, real quick before we move on. There's this little girl who has a wombat pet that went pretty viral on Instagram. See if you can find it. Wombat pet. Yeah, I think it's a second one. Yeah, try that one.

What'd she do? She's cute. Yes, this one. She's cute. Look at this. The baby wombat behind her. Oh, they hop like bunnies kind of. Oh, dude, they're so cute.

Well, that's a baby one, right? Yeah. Oh, my God. God, that is... It's teetan. And also it's got an Australian, so it sounds ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah, come on.

It's teetan, might. So they're very friendly. Yeah, I mean, I think they become menaces when they grow up. And I do know a woman that had one when I was in Tasmania, and she said it would literally run through her drywall. They were such little bowls. They could just run right through. But look is this thing's getting bigger and bigger with the little girl.

She was feeding it. But how cute is this? I mean, come on. It looks like a little... It's got the stature of a little... little bulldog. Yeah. This would be my dream wild animal pet.

It really would. They're freaking adorable. Well, so this is what happens. Your kids are going to see this on YouTube and they're going to want a wombat, and you're going to have to get them one. I'm going to want a wombat. What? Calh, look this up.

Is it legal to own a wombat in the United States? There's no way. You're not supposed to own it. Only in Florida. Most places. California is a different place. If you don't, not what? is it legal to own a wombat?

Scroll down, this doesn't make any sense. No, it's, no, you can't have a wombat. But you can have, you can have kangaroos. I can buy a kangaroo and have it in my yard. Sure. In your yard. I swear to God. Yeah, it is weird.

Why would you not be able to have a wombat? I even had a guy contact me on Instagram and be like, I'm a kangaroo breeder in Texas if you want one. I was like, I don't, but thank you. Yeah. Yeah. He was offering you a free kangaroo. He was, yeah. Nice.

Why? All right. Promote his poops? There's three more. Oh, wow, yeah. We're going to get zero right. Well, you got wombat. Oh, that's true.

All right. Number four. Do it. So this looks like a dead bird or an effigy, a voodoo doll of some sort. Yeah, it's like the voodoo sticks from True Detective. So it's a pile of like stick. I think I know what that is. I'm going to say it's a tortoise.

Two for tortoise. I'm going to say it's a turtle. It is a tortoise. What kind of tortoise? Tortoise. Oh, wow. I just kind of snickered, yeah. It is the Pets.

from the Fernandina Island tortoise. I thought you were the one that actually discovered the tortoise first. Now we know that that was a lie that you told us all behind Forrest back. Just for TV. I discovered it first. Yes. Well, not to mention, it's also very well documented on the show where I get the call from Forrest when I'm on the boat. Well, you know, I've never watched the show.

He was in Margarita Land. It's funny. Wait. Is that the cover of your book? No, I'm like over burn on the cover. Oh, right. That's the other one. I'm just trying to think if this was the picture that I slightly enhanced to make your bicep bigger. It has to be. Look at that bicep. That ain't that.

No, I was in a lot better shape back then. You're also flexing hardcore. Well, I'm holding a 40-pound tortoise. Like this. I'm straining with every ounce of my being. When I pick up a 40-pound dumbbell with both hands, my arm doesn't even flex, beast. All right. Next. Number five.

You got to eat more of that chocolate of yours. No kidding. Get back to that. Number five. Okay. This looks delicious. This looks like one of those chocolates you get from seized candy. Yeah.

It looks like a gourmet chocolate with some caramel strewn throughout it. Well, do note those caramel bits are small bones. Oh, man. Listen. Obviously, I'd already noted that. This looks like a mashed up mouse. I wish I had scale on this because this could be a lot of things. Because I've seen a lot of Alaskan brown bear poop that.

looks that consistency but not a perfect little turd like that. No, it's very, very nodular. It's very comular and... In your head, do you have an idea? Don't say it out loud. I do, yeah. Can you give us an idea of the scale

of this? If I'm right, which I haven't exactly been crushing it so far, it's about this big. So it's tiny. Okay. Two inches. Yeah. But there's animals stuff in there. Yeah, that's a that is a it's some sort of weasel. I was just, I mean, I'm

going to go ahead and say like just a common rat. Ooh. Owl. Correct. Owl? Owl. Hoo! How'd you get that?

I've just seen them before. Okay. Find those owl pellets around and that, if you go back to the last slide, those are mouse bones that you're seeing. Ah, that makes sense. That's the skull cap. See on the top right there? That's the skull cap of a small rodent. So owls for how beautiful and majestic they are.

They had some heinous, anus. You just wanted to eat that. What do you mean heinous? Wow, that was a joke. I would love to put it into a package of chocolates for somebody, though. There you go. It might taste good. I did tell you guys that story from when we're guiding in Africa what we used to do, right?

Oh, yeah. Remember that? Oh, yeah, yeah. Somehow trick your patrons into eating poop? Yeah, so we would go out on walking safari in monopools and we'd take chocolate-covered raisins. And, Kyle, pull up Impala poop quickly. And, you know, we'd be, like, walking ahead or, you know, where they're not looking. You put down a little pile of chocolate-covered.

raised and be like, oh, no way, Impala poop. See, that's what Impala poop looks. Oh, yeah. You pick it up and just like show them, you know, real quick. And then, oh, man, it's so good. And then everybody like, no, wait, can I try it? Yeah, yeah, it's all over the place. And then you just see all these, all these clients, like picking up poop and being like, not that good.

Ew. You're like, well, I really like it. Are Impala's vegetarians? Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. Next. You ever having a spitting competition?

Pola poop spitting competition? Spitting? You spit the turds? Never done that, but it makes sense. It's harmless. That's why we would trick people into doing it. To eating poop. Yeah.

All right. Last one here. Number six. Hold on. Hold on. Quick question about owls. Right. I got a couple of hooters from Amazon.

I had them delivered to protect my orange tree because last year it got devastated by the squirrels. This is a common thing. You know, the people put the owls up. Nobody ever has referred to them as getting a couple of hooters before. Do they actually work? Does this work in nature? Because there hasn't been a squirrel that's comforty oranges. And I definitely work.

I'm like flabbergasted that it's actually working. What you have to do is move them like once every couple weeks. Right, right. That's what I read in the, how'd you, where are they in the tree? Are they pretty? I see them actually.

I came with two and their heads actually turn in the wind. That's great. Nice. Yeah. You just got to move them because the squirrels or whatever will start to figure out something's, something's not right. The problem, the problem is, is that the back wall there,

that's the fruit tree fucking fruit picker thieves. Yeah. Oh shit. If I put it in the tree itself, they'll notice it. You know what you should do? You should, you know what a proximity alarm is? It's like a little, yeah. You run by.

It's like, like flashes light. You should put that on your back wall facing the neighbors. So anytime they come to your orange tree, the proximity alarm goes off. I put it right next to the fucking owl. Dude, that would be heinous. First of all, they would go insane. Yeah. Yeah, that would be.

That's a mean thing to do. So the owls do work though. people. The owls weren't. You just have to move them so the squirrels don't catch on. You got to move your hooters. Move your hooters. All right.

I got a couple. I got a couple hooters on Amazon. Yeah, it's like the most Chicago thing you've ever said. These fucking squirrels are eating my oranges. I ordered a couple hooters on the Amazon. It's not that funny. Shut up for us. All right.

All right. Last one. Here we got. Number six. Those again look like dead birds. These are classic. This is your more classic turd. Poop like in every way.

Except it's hair. A lot of grass in it. I think that's fur. Oh, I don't know. Fursy, turdsy. Yeah, I think you're right. That is fur. And that looks like North American foliage in the background.

I'm going to give it coyote. I was actually going to say your common house dog that just licked its anus too much. Coyote, yeah. It's got to be. I'll go with Red Fox, not the actor. This is a mountain lion. Ah. I'm so close.

I cat was probably the better guess but yeah and it's just a picture of me and massive crystal at just hulking over you yeah I love how Edwin thanks Edwin by the way for the games includes like all these pictures of forest just to like you know make his head he's gonna float up to the fucking ceiling this guy

I like Edwin what can I say Hooters Hey mK if you're listening make a jingle make a jongle of all the bullshit that we use that sound that Peter made when he got something right. What sound did you make? I don't know.

Try me to make another sound. Yeah, whew! Well, thank you everybody for tuning in. Happy New Year. Welcome to 2024. Get yourself some workout chocolate. No, for real, get it. It's actually good, dude.

I would be honest and say it tastes like shit. You would. I know. I was very scared to hand it to you publicly. I'll just DM people. That was a big risk. You would just have to edit it out. I would just be like, all right, well, we're not included.

including this. Yeah. If they were like, fucking gross. Like who makes this? What is this disgusting? I'd be like, yeah,

I told you guys. I just brought it to show you because it's so gross. I wanted you to try it. Blur out the box in the edit. Yeah. I thought it was a joke product too. Yeah.

All right. Happy new year, everybody. Good night. Good night. Oh, wait. We got to do the end. Fucking got to go to wild times.

Wild times. Don't hit that button, Kyle. Don't you dare. You're the producer. You should have reminded me. That's true. You should have.

Wildtimes. Dot club forward slash info for all the links to everything. Hey, we got hundreds. We have over a hundred bonus episodes. If you're not a patron, go there. There's a hundred plus more episodes. It's like 140 or 130.

I don't even know. A ton. Might as well be 10,000. Of extra content. You're talking hundreds of hours of extra content. Go to wild times. Dot club forward slash info and, uh, you know. New websites by AC.

Oh my God. You guys got to check out the new website. There will be a link at Wild Times. dot club forward slash info we have a virtual website by our friends over at ruckup media they've been putting this thing together for us you can do it experience it's not even a website yes it's it's it's uh you can i think i asked them to put a button on there where you can turn it into VR so if you have a VR headset you can walk around in this 3d world there's some fun quizzes and things to do we got a lot going on yeah lots of shit wild times dot club forward slash info welcome to

24, everybody. Good night. Good night. It's like a new year and he's still living it. I think, like I haven't said it. It's like when you tell yourself a lie enough times that you start to believe it. Yeah, I think that's what he's doing. He still didn't talk to the mic, so I don't care.

I literally no one had the mic closer to it. Who had the best sound? Oh, you. Good night. Not me? Yeah. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile, the message for everyone paying big wireless way too much.

for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Up front payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com.