Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Extinct Deep Sea Shark Found in Chile - The Wild Times Ep. 144

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

We discuss an extinct, deep-sea shark found off the coast of Chile, why chimpanzees are getting sick due to humans, and dog breeds that were bred for certain tasks. Enjoy! DUER: Get 20% off your order https://shopduer.com/wild LMNT: Get your free Sample Pack with any drink mix purchase at DrinkLMNT.com/WildTimes 🎧 Exclusive Ad-Free Podcasts on Spotify 🎧 Subscribe for more: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh... 💖 Join Our Patreon Community 💖 Unlock exclusive perks: / wildtimespod 🔊 Listen to Our Show on Spotify 🔊 Explore our episodes: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cbFBzf... 📡 Subscribe via RSS 📡 Add us to your podcatcher: https://anchor.fm/s/aee18224/podcast/rss 📸 Follow Us on Instagram 📸 For awesome animal facts and videos: / wildtimespod 💬 Join the Conversation on Discord 💬 Connect with fellow nature lovers: / discord 👕 Shop Our Exclusive Merchandise 👕 Wear your passion: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Enjoy, brosteners! Jingles made by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-t... #wildtimespod #podcast

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Before I introduced anybody, I walked in here this morning, and Peter goes, I think I'm dying. My kidney. My organs hurt. They do. Why? How? I don't know, man. You'll know once you hit 40.

Everything just starts going downhill. Yeah, I feel that. Well, welcome to The Wild Times. This is the greatest show podcast about wildlife, animals, humor, comedy, and fun that you're ever going to watch. I'm your host, Forrest Galante, the broologist. To my right, the brodie. Mr. Patrick DeLuca, and to his right, stage left, is the dying guy over there.

Peter Fitzer, Ph.D. in podcasting, the professor himself. How are we doing, guys? Fantastic. Really good. I'm trying to figure out still how to sit. In the chairs? People complain about our crossed legs. They say it looks like it hurts. Really? And then kind of on the table. I don't know is that. I think it's okay. I think as long as you don't do this shit, it's okay. He's going to do that. not do it. Wait, so why do your organs hurt? Let's get into that. Is it, does it say to do with the new tattoo that you got that you think that we wouldn't notice? What is this new? Look. A new tattoo there, yeah. I saw it as it walked in. Is that new? Yeah, it's new. You've known

me for a decade. You're a terrible friend. What am I staring at his forearm? I mean, it's a nice It's a good looking forearm. Well, let me see. Wait, is that honestly new? What? Why did you get a tattoo? Midlife crisis? Midlife crisis. No, no. I mean, it's a So it's just, it's something, it's an inside thing that me and my wife have with this. So we both, we got match her tattoo. She got it here too? That's right. Is it the, because we love each other, Pat, you and wild.

Is it the exact length of your penis? A bit larger, I would say. Yeah, I believe that. You're kidding me? My penis is an average four point. I've had that. Are you crazy? No, so the story behind it, I told Forrest, we had this, like, when we first met and we were, you know, still happy before kids and everything.

Yeah. We still loved each other. Yeah, we still love each other. It's just different. It's a different love. When you're like, you know, you're jokey. You've got tons of inside jokes. Everything's just like laughing.

Everything's funny. We were talking about our horoscopes and both of our astrological signs. We think it's like dumb, stupid bullshit. But we were, they matched and we were like, oh my God, it's real. That has something to do with a sword, by the way. Hold on. I'm still going. Don't interrupt.

So anyways, we're both fire signs. And so we're like feisty and fiery. And we talked about like when we fight, it's like, it's like swords clanging together and sparking. Okay. I like this. You know, the fire sign shit. And then we made up a secret handshake that I can't do on air because it's secret. Yeah.

But it ends with, it ends with like this. And so we've got swords there where we clang clang and psh. So the idea is that if you guys get into a fight, you can just have a bet. You can just smash your forearms together, the swords. and see who wins? Well, it's more like... Okay. All right.

So it's new. All right. So that happened. It is new. Do you have any tattoos? I do not. One day, one day I'm going to get one.

No, one day I'm going to get one. I'm going to get a little camel on my big toe. Like a camel toe. I see. That's it. Now, what is a camel toll for those that don't know? It's the hoofed part of the animal at the end of its leg.

What animal? The beaver? One day. One day. I'll get that. Patrick actually made me a bet when we started Extincter Alive back in the day. Do you remember this? Vaguely. Okay. He said if we do four seasons of the show, you have to get a face tattoo that says Extincter Alive. And I said, yes, I agreed to it.

Instead, Mitch got a tattoo for every episode. Correct, which is crazy. What? Tattoos. Oh, yeah. How many? 20? His whole arm is like wrapped in like extinct animals and stuff that we found.

That's fucking wild. There's even a tattoo of me on there. I'm not joking. Swear to God. His sister fucked it up. Because he's like, I want from the cave. You know what I'm standing with the flashlight? I posted that photo on Instagram. Yeah.

When we're standing in the flashlight, he like told his sister he wanted the cave and she put the little person in there. And he's like, God damn it, that's far. I mean, he did take that shot. And it's one of the coolest pictures I've ever seen. It is. It really, really is. So I might as well get a tat it on his big pasty white arm. That's the picture where like your, yeah, I think I've seen, that's like one of the season or

episode covers like you see. Yeah. He's wearing his Indiana Jones hat. Right, right. Yep. It's that three over to the right middle. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. That one. Oh, yeah. Dude. That's, that's crazy. That's And such an easy, like you could get mid-jurney to make that photo in five seconds. Right. Right. But that's all real. And that's long before the AI art days. Yeah, man.

Oh, God. Back when life was better. Well, we have an announcement, though. Yes. We should, we should make this announcement to those of you who have been around. Or if this is your first pod, we have. Big news. Yeah.

We do a Patreon. Yeah. I was reaching for my wallet to symbolize it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We do a Patreon where we do four extra podcasts every month. That's right.

We're doing a free trial. Yep. We're starting a free trial with this now. Yeah, you can go on, check it out, see if you like it. Mm-hmm. Wow, look at that background image from the OG, the first ever pod in Patrick's old house living room. That's right. Two houses ago.

That was two houses ago. But also, what are we doing? The biggest thing is we're doing a giveaway every single month now to the Patron's for at least like the next four or five months. Right. Yeah. And it's going to be, it's going to be worth it. A couple hundred bucks.

$250 cash. You get $250 cash. You come to the, and it's going to be a random draw every, every month. So sweet. That's a big deal. Yeah. Free money. We're going to do gift cards.

And then we're like, everybody fucking hates gift cards. Everyone has a gift card that got away that they still see in a drawer. Yeah, 100%. To subway. Yep. To a Best Buy. Doesn't even exist anymore. Circuit City.

Yeah. Circuit City. What is that? Blockbuster. Blockbuster. GIFT GIFT card. Rockbuster. So, let me ask you guys a question.

Uh-huh. I'll do the jingle. What's in the news? Sir, no's from the underground. Minke. What's in the news? You guys got anything? No, you should do it.

Okay, because there's one that I'm really excited about. Good. So, we all know that I love it when there has been a lost species uncovered. Mm-hmm. A missing ocean predator that has disappeared, been gone since the 18-H. hundreds was recently recaptured in a fisherman's net in Chile. Is it dead? Megalodon?

It was dead. It was dead. But seeing as the last known specimen came from 1887, which is a long time ago. It's quite a while. Yeah. And they thought that the Chilean angel shark was completely gone, which is, do you know what an angel shark is, Peter? No. Kyle, pull up an angel shark. It's like a flattened shark with these crazy wings.

There's, I want to say 11th. Oh, there, pull up that middle image. No, one over. There's like 11, 12 species. So they're, you know, they've got conversion evolution. They occur all over the planet in various temperate regions. Okay. Where they look similar. I don't know what that monstrosity is.

Very cool. Some AI creation. But yeah, that's an angel shark. Anyway, Chilean angel shark hadn't been seen a very long time. Everybody believed it was gone, extinct, didn't exist any longer. A couple fishermen were pulling in their nets and they're like, what the hell is this? Sure enough, they found a Chilean angel shark for the first time since 1886. So that means there's there's probably a bunch of them.

I mean, I doubt that this was the only one. No, absolutely not. So there's certainly a population there. And if you looked into it, this isn't published for obvious reasons. My guess would be that they probably are fishing in a new zone. So Angel Sharks like a sandy bottom. Okay. And, yeah, I knew.

1980s, early 90s playboy. I feel like the girl on the cover always at a sandy bottom. That's right. Deliciting. Yeah. I, as soon as, those words left my mouth. I knew I was in trouble. They do like a sandy bottom. And, you know, typically like a big ocean, open sandy seafloor is not the best for fishing, right? That's not where all the

fish hang out. They hang out by the reef. So likely the nets moved into a new area, went to fish somewhere that hadn't been targeted before. And sure enough, here came a Chilean angel shark. So my guess would be if someone were to do a proper survey or study of the area, you'd find out there's a, not robust, but still a population of them in whatever area this is. So do all, so this says that this one has dorsal, enlarged dorsal thorns on its head and back. Do all angel sharks have that? No. So in fact, most of them are pretty smooth and pretty, pretty unique.

Can I share this? Yeah, fucking I'm going to anyway. Recently, I got, I had a very, very cool experience with something arguably almost as rare as the Chilean angel shark, which is called a cloudy angel shark. I don't think I posted that. I'll send it to you right now, Kyle. But this is, look at the size of this angel shark. I'm going to send it to Kyle to share,

which was pretty remarkable. I'll tell you that. This was in Japan. And our dive master there, our dive master there who dives 300 plus days a year has seen like two ever. And so he wigged out when we spotted it, which was a big deal.

But wait till you see the size of this animal. Are they aggressive at all these angel sharks? I bit the shit out of the guy trying to take a photo. Really? Yeah. It's pretty gnarly. No, they're massively aggressive. How close did you come in, come to it?

Well, I wasn't the one. Oh, we were fanning the sand off its head to expose it to show what it look like. Yeah. And then here, I'm going to share this for the Brosners. So if you're only listening, come and watch this. I'm going to share this with Kyle right now. And you can see him get bitten. I want to see a guy getting bitten by a rare angel shark.

Oh, it's pretty awesome. It's pretty awesome. Here we go. Finding it right now. You've ever been bitten by a shark pet? No. Me neither. No.

Kyle, I'm sending to you on WhatsApp. I did have an encounter with a crab. I got my toe grabbed by something, either a crab or a lobster once. Yeah. Yeah, it was not great. That's the extent of your adventure. So before we go into this, Kyle, first of all, pull up the picks I texted you before we go into that. Yeah, so this is the cloudy that we saw.

This is the individual one. So scroll through so you can get a size reference. So this was a remarkable. thing to see. It's one of the coolest animals I've ever seen. Look at that thing. So what do you think? Like five feet long? No, probably closer to seven, I would say. It was a big shark. So that's moments after he bit Andy. So now Kyle, yeah, so that's how he found him. See how he's all covered in the sand? Barely see him. So I started fanning him, you know, to get the sand off. Because, you know,

they bury in the sand. So Kyle, pull up the video. Check out what happened while Andy's fanning him right here. Fan and a little bit too close there maybe. Don't go by the head, Andy is what I was saying. Bam! Oh, he got tagged. Got them. Ouch. Got you, bitch. How much damage did that do?

Probably should have had stitches. We couldn't because of where we were, but probably could have used like four stitches. So it went through a seven millimeter glove because it's cold. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, went through a seven millimeter glove and still probably could have used, I'd say, two to three stitches in each of his three fingers that got hammered. Shark bite live on air. Oh, yeah.

Such like clear, amazing. footage, dude. This is like, I could just watch this on Repet. Yeah, well, that's why we do it. But, uh, yeah, so very, very cool. And back to the news story, very cool to see. Kyle, can you pull up a picture of this critically endangered Chilean angel shark? Yeah, it's interesting, right? When you get these subspecies, it, for whatever reason, it feels cooler to me if it has something about it that looks different. If it's completely and unique, yeah, versus just regional. Well, it's the same thing with like the job and tiger we were talking about, right? It's like, like I was saying, if you went and took any other Sumatran

tiger and shoved it in Java, it would do the same thing. It would basically be the same animal. Right. Sort of the same here. You know, you could take a Japanese angel shark, a California angel shark and stick it in Chile and it would basically fill the same niche, you know, but it doesn't have horns on its head. That's true. And these horns are interesting in these thorns. I'm not really seeing it because probably there's no photos, but it's pretty cool. I love it. Yeah. So I have a three-year-old. She's in preschool. Yep.

And they basically, at age three, they just learn about animals. That's it. Yeah. So they'll do a whole week on insects. Well, they did do a whole week on pumpkins. So she knows more about pumpkins than I do. Yeah. But so we had to buy this flash card game.

Okay. It's for a three-year-old. Yeah. It does say ages five and up. Yep. I mean, we're not selling this. I just made a little game. Uh-oh.

Okay. No. So what I want to do is I want to play a game. it's called Are You Smarter Than a 3 year old? Should it be 5? Because it says 5

No, I like 3. Are you smarter than a 3 year old? For us, do you have all sorts of fancy degrees Or 1. Or 1, yeah. Retep, you're a layman. That's right. So we'll just open the box.

Kyle, you're ready for this? I am. We'll keep score. Okay, all right. Pappop props. Yeah, I like the props. Are you smarter than a 3-year-old? Peter goes first, I presume?

Yeah, let's have Peter go first. All right, here we go. I got to cover the name. Yes, familiar. Okay, okay. What is it, Peter? It's a spotted hyena. Very good, Peter.

Correct. It is a hyena. He went to the species, too. He wasn't just like hyena. He said spotted hyena. God damn it, Kyle. There you go. You had hours to prepare this, Kyle.

He was there. He was up until 2 a.m. getting the sound effects I asked for, and then he forgot. All right, one for Peter. All right, Forrest is up here. Let me try to cover this one. There we go. All right. Show it to the audience.

Where's my camera there? There it is. Okay. Crown, no, it's not a crown pigeon. Some kind of pigeon. No. Whoa, good sound effects. The Himalayan Monal.

Oh, of course, of course. Birds are going to kill me. If I get birds, I'm screwed. So that's zero. Okay. So wait, Peter's winning. He's up one zero. Woo!

Don't like that. Here we go. one? You want me to answer? Yeah. That is a common giraffe. That is correct. Damn it.

Two to zero. I was going to guess long neck spotted horse. Okay. So close. So let's do this. If someone gets it wrong, the other person can steal the point. Okay. That makes sense.

That makes sense. Okay. So so far Peter is looking like he is smarter than a three-year-old. Okay. You kind of got a tough one there. Yep. I did. Here we go.

Oh, great. Oh, great. You're doing this is intentional. You were giving him the giraffes and giving me the nondescript bugs. Scarab beetle. Emerald scarab beetle. Would you like to try a steal? That, my friend, is a golden ground beetle.

That is correct. Kyle, there is bullshit going on in this studio. What are you talking about? You knew that? I knew that. You knew that. Kyle, thank you. Thank you, Kyle.

All right. I'm being set up for failure in this studio. It's not true. Okay. Here we go. A golden ground beetle looks like. Okay. Okay.

Is that for me? I'm going to take away Golden Ground Beetle because he saw the back of the car. There's no way he knew that. I just realized that the back of the card also has for. Thank you. All right. What are you talking about? No steel.

That's right. Such a cheater. All right. Get ready for the steel in case he doesn't know. Okay. Okay. What do we got here? I mean, unless I'm mistaken, Pat, that's a frog.

Frogs. Correct. Correct. It's frogs. I'm undefeated right now. Yeah, with your cheating. Let's get you on the board here. All right, please.

I'm taking away. No more steals. I can't cover the back of the card. All right. Here we go. Oh, God, I get all the bugs. A rupee butterfly. Don't just say if he says butterfly, he doesn't get it.

No, it's a... No, no, it's got to say what the card says. It's a forest mother of pearl butterfly. Oh, it's got your name in it, bro. Dude, I'm getting bugs and birds over here. You got a giraffe and frog. Hang on. It'll even...

This is a shuffled deck. Okay. Okay. What do we have here? Those are ants, Pat. That is correct. Ants four. Jesus, let me see.

Destroying, maybe. You should get this. You should get this forest. I hope so. All right, here we go. Oh, boy. I don't know birds. Beater?

No, it's not a be eater. Honeycuckle. Ooh. That's a sunbird. Oh, fuck. I did know that one, too. Wow. My three-year-old knows these first.

I'm buying this game and studying it. All right, let's do one more each. This is worth five points. Okay. So it's four zero for Peter. Okay. What do we have here? That's a hammerhead shark.

That is correct. It was a hammerhead. Head Shark. All right, you should get this first. I hope so. You should get this. Let's try. Let's get you on the board,

biologist. Please. All right. What do we have here? A bird of paradise. Do I need to be more specific? Yes, please. My son watches these all the time.

It's not the 12th. Magnificent bird of paradise. Oh. It's the Rajiana bird of paradise. Oh, God damn. I'm pretty impressed that you guys. got bird of paradise, but... I just didn't know what kind.

There's so many. That's a clean sweep. That is a clean sweep. Let's do one real quick. Can we scratch this whole podcast? One more each. One more each. All right.

I'm hoping Peter doesn't get this one. That, my friend, is a koala. God, damn. That's right. All right. This is why I wanted to do one more. This is hilarious. All right, Forrest.

Let's get you on the board. Okay, I'm just going to say dragonfly. I'm not going to give any more info than that. No? It's a 12-spotted skimmer. Again, my three-year-old... No, lies. It has memorized these cards.

I love this game. Good job, man. Can I hang out with your three-year-old? Yeah, I'm your resident wildlife expert, Forrest Galante. I'm doing a really good job. You would have known Fenwick Fox. Of course, would you have gotten part-a-loat? Part-a-loat? No, absolutely not.

It's never heard of it. Kyle, what was the final score? if you could remind us. It was 6 to 0. Oh, my God. Well, did you include the five-pointer I got at the end there? Oh, right. Yeah, that's a 10 or whatever.

Or 11 to 0. A lot to a little. I think I can officially wrap up my time on the podcast here. I think you could get your own show on AnimalPont. That was so frustrating. I'm out of it. I don't believe, here's what's going to happen to when this comes out on YouTube. Yeah.

Everybody's going to comment like they knew. Oh, yeah. The Rajianna Bird of Parade. Yeah. That one I probably should have known. The rest, fuck off. like yeah well listen Kyle you got to make sure you get a nice close up of those cards so we can watch

forest you know and see how he performs really flailing you do need more coffee I'm very angry now like I have a lot of anxiety and anger I'm very red all right it's okay as gin blossoms are coming out I got another news story nice sad one to bring the tone down

let's bring it down everybody's having fun except me yeah yeah let's Let's get it worse. Chimps. Pat, big Saturday. Ready for it? Why won't you go with us, Peter? I told you, I'm having organ failure. Wishing you could be there live for the big game,

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Sleep on a sandy beach. I also don't want to see either of you nude. No, we wear shorts. We're never nudes. Like Tobias. I thought I was. was going to die on the way back last time because we polished a bottle of bourbon. It was so hot, too. So hot. So dehydrated. Yeah.

Going to bring my elements. Yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah. I'm going to bring the canned one. I'm going to give you these three right now. Okay. Are you going to bring the can?

I might because it's worth it. Dude, I was dying on the high guy last time. Yeah, it's so good. It really works, too. Yeah. It's, dude, it rehydrates you without leaving that sticky syrup taste in your mouth. That's just so awful. It's the only thing that makes my organs feel.

matter. No, we really do use these on the hike. We love them. We use them when we're in the field. It's a zero sugar electrolyte drink mix. It comes from sort of the growing body of research, revealing that optimal health outcomes occur at sodium levels two to three times what the government recommends. Get with it, government. Come on. Let's go. Donuts are no longer at the top of the food pyramid people. Right. But each pack delivers a meaningful dose of electrolytes free of sugar, no artificial colors or other dodgy ingredients. Pretty tasty too. Yeah, it's really good. My wife is obsessed with it. I'm obsessed with it. I drink one every day. Yeah. They also now have elements sparkling water. Oh yeah. These are so dope, dude. And my fridge is

loaded with them. It's funny. I get out of bed before, because my kid's screaming in her room. and I go straight to the fridge, grab a 16-ounce can. Feel better. Feel so much better. Elements co-founder, Rob Wolfe. He is, here's why I just am going to do what he says to do. Okay. He's on the Navy SEALs Resiliency Committee for the last 10 years.

Yeah. There you go. And he created a product that I can put in my crappy 40-year-old body. And I really like it. If you're interested in trying it, we truly stand by this brand. get your free sample pack with any drink mix purchase at drinklmn t.com slash wild times. And if you're an element insider,

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16 ounce can of sparkling electrolyte water. We love it. And again, that's drinklmNT.com slash wild times to get a free sample pack. It's summertime. It is. It's getting hot out, right? Yep.

Yes. Dude, I, by May 1st, I switched to shorts. What's the date today? May. Mid May. Guess what? Pants, baby. Yeah.

You know why? They look good too. I'm wearing those doers. They're light, they're cool, they're antibacteria. I've talked about them before. This isn't new news. You've never taken them off. I love these things, man.

Like, they're comfy. I look good. I don't have to get my little like matchstick legs out for the summer. You know? Pasty legs. They're so skinny and so pasty. Instead, I get to look good in these nice, nice stretchy pants that feel like sweats. I look elegant and handsome.

You do. It doesn't change your face, but you do look good from the waist down. Thanks. I've heard that. before. The thing is, you can wear them every day. Like, I don't care if it's hot out. They're made with sustainable plant-based material, so I feel good about wearing them. I look good, again, from the waist down. That's right. Yeah. And they're just comfy and they're light and they're breathable. And yeah, I'm just pulling it off all summer. Yeah. No problem. Very hard for you to

look good from the waist down, too. Those legs are so tiny. Yeah. It's like an ostrich. That's right. Yeah. If you want to see for yourself why we love this brand, truly, we do. Go to Doer. Get 20% off. Our listeners get 20% off their first order when you use our exclusive URL, shop, duer. com slash wild. It's an amazing deal. Don't wait.

Get 20% off your first order now at shopdoer.com slash wild. Hide your match six legs for the summer. Yeah. That should be their slogan. Be a doer. Yeah, be a doer. Heard of them, chimpanzees. Love them.

If you held up a card, I'd probably call them a dragonfly. I don't know. They're dying of the common cold. What? Yeah. So they're not an animal that has ever got the common cold before. The question is why? Yeah.

Why do you think chimps are dying from the common cold? This is in the news. You want me to take a guess? Yeah, take a stab at it. Yeah, it's got to be humans are involved. It's probably like climate change or human beings just giving them a cold. Yeah, people were touching them, cuddling with some baby chimps that got it and that turned bad. and got into the lungs.

That's exactly what happens. It turns into pneumonia. So we don't know, but the leading hypothesis is that it's from ecotourism, right? You go to Uganda to see the chimps, see the great apes. You cough and sneeze on one because you picked it up in a plane. Like, nobody's ever flown without getting sick back. Oh, I know. Yeah.

And then, yeah, it turns into a zoonotic disease and it turns into pneumonia and they die. Wow. So what? I mean, so this is a new thing, it sounds like. what is kind of, it's just prevented this from happening, I guess, back in the day. Just less people doing the tourism. I think so. And I don't know if you guys have experienced this.

Maybe just because I have small kids. I feel like everybody's more sick now than they used to be. That was any percent. Right? Like we, I used to get sick maybe once a year, maybe. Yeah. Now, I think I've been sick since November. Kyle has been sick for six months.

Yeah. Yeah. I think we all have AIDS. We all have AIDS. My organs are failing. Yeah. Right. But, but it's interesting.

that you bring up specifically the ecotourism and the plain element. That's what I wanted to dig into. So, first of all, I want to hear your thoughts on this. But when we think of ecotourism, we think of a means by which to save the world, right? Come to this country, inject money into their economy, into their local economy, save the animals because you want to go and look at them and you don't want to see them, you know, killed from meat or a skin or a fur or whatever. And here's ecotourism killing the animals.

it's sort of a flip it on its head, right? I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I think ecotourism around chimps and everything's a great thing, but like this is still kind of the best we got, right? There's like never a good solution to anything. Yeah, exactly. It's like everything just always goes downhill. There's no free lunch, man.

There's no free lunch. Yeah, so it's interesting, right? Because without the ecotourism, the locale has less of a motivation to protect that resource. That would all be clear cut for logging and. Right. So the habitat and also the animal, right? Well, yeah.

I mean, they might hunt them or they would just knock out the habitat and then there'd be nowhere for them to live. So the ecotourism is undeniably protecting the chimps in Uganda by preserving the habitat. And like I said, stimulating the local economy and making people want to save them and everything else. But what, you know, it's the lesser of two evils. And I don't think ecotourism is evil, but it's the lesser of two evils nonetheless. It's just, I don't think, I mean, that's...

We can't not fuck things up. Dude, it's truly impossible because of the scale with which humans are and exist, you know, like, we're just, there's so many of us, nothing we can do can stop like our destruction. Yeah. So speaking of chimps, I was thinking about this yesterday. Who would you pick to win in a battle? Between. Three chimps or one mandrel? Oh, three chimps for sure.

Really? Yeah. About two chimps. Kyle, what's a mandrel? Can you pull that up for me? That's the baboon with the blue buttocks. Oh, okay. Huge ass teeth.

Yeah. These guys. These guys. Look at those teeth. Go mandrel size. Let's get. Look at those teeth. They're gnarly.

Don't give me wrong. I think they get to about 100 pounds. Are chimp teeth that? No, not even that big. Terrible? No, they're both pretty gnarly. I think the chimp has the mandrel beat one on one. Really?

I do. Yep. Okay. Just because of its pure strength? Yeah, they're just, they're just, I mean, I don't know. one's an ape and one's a baboon, you know, like the mandrel is much more primitive, it's dumber, like it doesn't have the bipedleness that the chimp has. And the chimp, I mean, I think if it just got the mandrel's arms, it could just basically rip it and shreds. I could be totally

wrong. I mean, I don't know. It also go right for the nuts first, because that's what it does. So what are these, so when you go on an ecotourism thing to go see the chimps, how, like, what are people doing? It's not like safe to go up and just like start petting a chimp. Well, I don't think they're petting them, but you are going very close and, you know, sitting in the woods and watching them. Yeah, yeah, I think that's a good rendition right there. So the chimps are used to people. They're all habituated. They're not attacking people.

And then you go on this, you know, boat and walking tour and sit there and watch them hang out. So they got to start giving people taking their temperature. You got a cold. Putting a face mask on something. I don't know. Yeah. That's pretty cool, actually. That looks awesome.

To go and do it. just walking down a trail and there's a bunch of chimps. It's one of the few, like, big animal experiences. You know, there's like, go see, go on safari and go see the whales and blah, blah, blah. And I've just, I've never done the Great Apes thing. I really, really need to. Kyle, can you click on the one where it's mouth open? I want to see that chimps teeth.

Yeah. Yeah, they got some, they got some big teeth too. Oh, yeah. They got big teeth. Oh, yeah. Because you, it sounded like you were making your decision based on those teeth on the mandrel pet. I mean, but look at a chimps teeth here.

Yeah. No, the mandrel's more intimidating looking, for sure. And then I'll go back to mandrel. I mean, Chimp kind of just has like our teeth, but with snaggle, a couple snaglet teeth. Yeah, I knew a girl like that in high school. Look at those. Yeah, dude, I mean, it would be, like, that's what Charlie looks like when he gets mean to me. Dude, I saw this video on Reddit the other day, man, and I hate to like bash pit bulls because, you know,

but there was this pit bull owner who was sitting in the room. and the pit bull was just like doing what Charlie does, vicious face. The chick was like thinking it was okay, but clearly scared, but it was her dog. And the dog was like, if you move, I'm going to rip your face off. And I was like, bro, like, why do you have a pit bull?

This thing's going to kill its owner just in the fucking room, man. Well, or just not, you know, it's just not trained, right? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, no, well, I mean, it's, not trained. I think though, I almost feel like with certain breeds of dogs, you almost have to untrain that out of them kind of, right? Or no. The aggression? Maybe, right? Or I don't know. I don't know. I like, you know, but even saying this publicly, I'll get scrutinized. But I never understand people that go out and get a pit bull, asterisks, that don't have the right

situation for it. Any dog. You know, any dog, like, I think we've talked about this before. Do not get a dog based on looks. Yeah. Or what you like the. look of or the idea or the demeanor of. Get a dog based on your living situation. If you live in an apartment, get a small dog that doesn't need exercise. If you live on a cattle ranch, get an Australian sheep dog. If you need protection, get a pit bull. Like, you know, it's like the dogs have all been bred.

They're a human creation, all these dog breeds. They've all been created for specific purposes. When you go and try and fit a square peg into a round hole by buying, I'm going to get this rescue pit bull to hang out with my. my three-year-old, yeah, you're going to have a fucking problem. Like, it's just dumb. You put a pit bull into like a studio bedroom apartment, never take it out, like, feed it shitty food. Yeah, it's terrible.

It's going to be stressed. I mean, I get very angry when I'm stressed or it's too hot. I mean, I'm likely to fucking just throw my computer across the room on some day. Well, that's the other thing is it's how much time do you have? Right. Right. It's like certain dog breeds, you know, when we first got our dog. we took it to a trainer at first because like she was super beta and was like really scared.

Yeah. You know, we were like, let's do some like training, formal training. And they're like this, this dog doesn't just need to go on walks. Like this is a dog that needs to sprint every day. Right. Get it out. Like, oh, okay. So like we have to have, we have to move to a house with a yard.

Right. Because I lived in a condo at that point. Yeah. Uh-huh. It's like this dog needs a backyard to sprint around it. Right. Or go to the dog park every day. Right.

Yeah. You have to put in the effort. Anyway, yeah, I always think that's nuts. And, I mean, dogs are the ones that get the bad rap, but it's people that are putting them in the bad situations. Oh, I agree. It's being the issue. It's always the people.

It's wild, though, when you read about how certain dog breeds were created for certain functions. And just that they're, like, so good at that specific function. Oh, absolutely. Yorkshire Terriers, you know what they are? They were, like, very popular for a while. It's like the Paris Hilton dog. I think terriers, most terriers aren't they, like, rodent? diggers.

Yeah, so I know because my mom had a Yorkshire terrier. They were bred. You took Yorkies to put him up in the rafters of castles to hunt rats. Oh my God, really? So you get these little dogs. And I know my mom had one named Connor. He was an awesome little dog. Ruthless fucking killer.

They tracked down a rat anywhere in the garden and rip it to shreds. He's this big and yappy. And you're like, that thing couldn't kill a stuffed animal. Right. Ruthless. A bird. a rat anything, like ruthless. Well, my guy.

I have a terrier and he's like, dude, if he literally has this, he like digs because his, his whole thing was to go, he went out with hunters and then he would like dig up. Charlie? Yeah. Went out with hunters? Well, his breed, the terrier. Oh, okay. I was like, that dog has never been out

anywhere with a hunter. I swear to God though, he would fare well if you put him out with hunters because that's what he wants to do is just like, attack, run and he dig shit. up and he's just like, and fucking, but have you guys ever seen a domesticated elephant? Well, that was a hard transition. But no, I was just going to say, do you guys know what a bulldog was bred for? Having giant nuts.

Fighting? Well, think about the name. Oh, for bull fighting to do with, something to do with cattle. You can probably find pictures or drawings of it, but, you know, they put the ring in the bull's nose. Yeah. Yeah. And then the bulldog is a super strong jaw. could latch on to the ring and with low center of gravity,

pull the bull's head down and control where the bull would go. That's fucking insane. So the super low center of gravity and big wide jaw for biting that ring in the bull's nose. That's incredible. I had no idea. And the ring in the bull's nose was made for that as well. Exactly. Dude, that's wild, man.

I never thought about the ring in a bull's nose. Because it's sensitive, right? So now you got this little dog, 50, 60 pound dog pulling it. but it's in your fucking nose, right? So you just got to go where it's bringing you. And there's nothing you can do because your legs, like you can't put your legs in front of your head. It also doesn't feel great to have your nose being decked on.

What do you mean? It feels wonderful. I've always thought that when you see people with that piercing. Yeah. With the ring coming out of the bottom of their nose. I'm like, if I caught, like I get upset if I catch like my ear on a shirt when I'm putting it on.

Like could you imagine if you caught that fucking thing on like your t-shirt when you're pulling over your head or your zipper? Oh, man. That sounds painful. So we had a babysitter come in this past weekend, and it's one of the preschool teachers. Okay. Nice. Makes sense.

This is the first time I've seen her outside the context of the school. Yeah. One of those big septum rings in it. No, really. Yeah, I was like, well, you're weird. That's weird. Especially for teachers. I didn't know teachers did cool stuff.

Yeah. She's like a badass teacher. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, all right. Probably drives a Harley to school to teach the little children. I'll tell you what, it's not a bad gig, babysitting. Yeah.

I might start doing it. I might as a side hustle. That sounds terrible. Lunacy. Go on. You show up. Children are sleeping. Yeah.

And you sit and watch TV and have the monitors there in case the house catches on fire. Yeah, that's true. And you make $30 an hour. Oh, because you went on your date. Yeah, sure did. How was that? So for those that don't know, if you're just tuning in, Pat told us last week, he's going to do something for the first time. He hasn't done in three years.

Two years since his kids were born. Just go on a date with his wife. That's right. How was that? It was great. It was fun. It was fun. It was fun.

It sucked. We went five minutes from the house. Yep. To a restaurant. Nearest restaurant. Yeah. Went to a restaurant and ordered a bunch of stuff. It was like, you know, I want to, I haven't been, I haven't sat at a restaurant without a kid screaming.

You know, because when you go with a kid, you're like, just bring the fastest stuff quick and the check with it. Emergency French fries. Yeah, exactly. You sit down. You're like, French fries. Yeah. With that, yeah. The fastest, you know.

So, yeah, I was like, yeah, I want to try like eight things. had cocktails, actual cocktails with like mescal. And then called an Uber. And we were like, that's really early. Like we're tired, but let's force it. Went back in, got another drink at the bar. Nice. And then was fucking hung over the next day.

Oh, God. Like shit. Like an adult pre-children. Yeah. Look at you. The difference was I had to wake up at 6.45. No. Can I ask you a question?

Of course. you order a Wahakian mule? I did not. Do you know what that is? What the hell's a Wahawken Mule? Dude, it's my new drink of choice. Isn't it like just a ginger beer and mescal? Yeah. It's great though.

That sounds pretty good. It's really good. This is my new drink of choice. And you also sound very like cool ordering it. Everybody's like, oh, I'll have a ginotonic. Oh, you know, soda, so whatever, a vodka soda. I'll have a Wahawkan mule. You think you sound cool, but everybody else is like, what a douche.

Yeah, probably. So I went through a phase when I was. single where I was, you know, if I would have a lady over. Yeah. I would make Moscow mules. So that's just vodka and ginger beer, right? Right. But I, but I'll tell you what.

Yeah. I made my own ginger simple serum. Okay. So I would just make like a big thing of it and keep it in the fridge. And oh boy, easy to make. Yeah. And then you make this drink and it's like, holy shit. You just melt syrup and add water or how does that work?

No, you just, Equal parts, sugar and water in a pot. And then you just buy a giant thing of fresh ginger. Chop it up real small. Steep that. Then you drain out the liquid. Wow. And it's like ginger explosion.

Ooh. Sounds delightful. Just add like a tablespoon of that on top of the mule. Dude, ginger beer with anything is good. I mean, ginger beer by itself is probably one of the best non-alcoholic drinks. It's fantastic. We invented a drink in college called Tequila Mockingbird. You know, like,

DeKill a Mockingbird. Sure, there's very mature. Yeah, of course. I don't remember what was in it other than there was like four types of alcohol and you had to put some pills in it. That's all I remember. Yeah. I honestly don't remember what was in it,

but I just remember that was to kill a mockingbird or tequila mockingbird. And there was tequila, a bunch of other booze and then quailudes in it. Yeah. I didn't understand. There was a whole group of my friends that was into that. They would crush up a bunch of pills and put it in their liquor. It doesn't do anything.

And then go out and just be catatonic. He's like, what do you... I don't know. How is this fun? Yeah, I don't know. I think about... That's Peter. He's the resident expert on this.

I think about this shit back, back like when I was doing pills and shit like that. And one of them was, you know, I was like 20, maybe 20. Not even. Before I went off to college, I was like 19. Before you went off the grid. Yeah. And Xanax was a big one. Everybody was getting Xanax.

And now it's like huge. Everybody knows what Xanax is. Nobody had any fucking idea what Xanax was back then. Like, some people got it. Okay. And one of the ways to not do. Xanax is to snort it. But everybody at this party was snorting Xanax. Sorry. One of the ways not to do it is to snort it, meaning it has no effect?

Supposedly. It's very weak. You're supposed to keister it or what? Keystering it will do it. But so everybody is like snorting the Xanax, like mounds and mounds of it. And nobody's getting fucked up. And it's like, and they're all like getting pissed. So they decide to pop like three or four pills. I thought everybody. I think that'll kill you. thought everybody was going to die. It's called overdosing. They were fucked up for like 24 hours. They were booze to the gills.

What kind of parties were you going to? Everybody just did whatever was available. Drug dens. Nah, it was mostly booze and then some people had some pills. He was like opium dens. I wish, dude. You're kidding me?

I'd give up my marriage for an opium den. Do you think those are real things? I feel like those are things you see in movies in like cool Asian settings. No, those are real, real things. There's actual opium dens. I swear to God. Yes. There's actual photos.

Yeah, but that's what I mean. This is what I mean. They're all black and white and they're from like 100 years ago in China. Yeah. It's this. They weren't. They're not going on right now. That's what I'm asking.

I'm asking, is there a modern day opium? Yes. Crack houses. Crack house is disgusting. And opium dem is kind of cool and elegant. Like these are two very, one has mattresses on the floor. The other has nicely made beds. We should bring the opium den back.

I don't think it's legal. I think we'd go to jail. Dude, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's all kinds of recreational, uh, research chemicals out there that we can make a, a nice drug, uh, drug speak easy. Let's, let's start it up. Who was somebody was telling, do we talk about this on the pod? No, uh, I won't name who, but even though we all know her, but, uh, it's the one woman we know, so. Correct. She joined a church. Check, look this up, Kyle. There's a church in San Francisco where you accept mushrooms as your God. And then it's, legal to take mushrooms at this church in San Francisco. I love this. So they've figured out like this loophole where if you make psilocybin mushrooms, your deity, you can go to this mushroom. This is it, the living church.

You can go to this church in Oakland or San Francisco and just take a bunch of mushrooms and it's all legal somehow. Well, I will say this. That's excellent. Sounds bizarre to me. It sounds very cultish. I will say this. First of all, mushrooms are legal in San Francisco already.

They don't even need this church. Yeah, but I don't think you can just like distribute them and... You can't? Recreationally legal. Yeah. In Oakland, San Francisco. No, no, no. But I was going to say this church has probably been around for before that.

And that was like its whole purpose is to get, because I know there's other ones where you can get like, uh, you can do Iowa Huska, which is another bananas. You can do what? Iowa Hoska, which is like a bananas. It's a natural, it's a natural, uh, hallucinogenic. You take it. Shaman's shaman's. What did he just say? Ayahuasca.

Ayahuasca. Ayahuasca. But you say it was very breathy. It was like, Iowa. I'm also positive. That's not how you pronounce it. It is. Iowa huska.

It's how it's spelled. Iowa huska. Iowa huska. Iowa huska. Listen, I'm German. My hooking yoh. Anyways. Yeah, but I mean, you know, these things have been around and you go and to do a ceremony and they

cleanse the spirit. And, you know, these things shouldn't be illegal to begin with because why are they? I don't know. Okay. I'm scared of all of it. All right, let's play a game. You want to play a game? Yep. Kyle's going to be our MC. We played it before. I intentionally wanted him to be the MC so we can listen. I know. It's the only good part of the game. Yeah. So, dinosaur or muscle. Do we have a jingle for that yet? No. We've played it like five times. M.K. needs to get on top of this shit here. I think maybe once. Okay. Whatever. Dinosaur or muscle. Let's go. So yeah, basically, there's a word here that looks insane. And I'm going to ask you guys, is this word?

a dinosaur or a muscle. The third one's bullshit. Hey, stop looking at the screen. All right. Okay. Number one. Turn the screen off. No, because I need to see if he's pronouncing.

Yeah, we need to see his pronunciation. Iliacus. Iliacus. I think that's about it. Let's answer quickly here. Yeah. Dinosaur muscle. That's a, that's a muscle.

Iliacus is a muscle. Neck muscle. Oh, yeah, we got to describe the muscles. Whoever gets the closest. The Iliacus is in your tongue. Nah, the I'm going specifically bottom of the neck. It's a grundle muscle.

Nope. Hip muscle is your iliacus? Who's closest with the tongue? I think the neck. Forrest was... The tongue is... The neck is closer to the head. I don't think anybody won't.

Yeah, I don't think that was a zero. A zero? But we did all say muscle, though. We did all say muscle, yeah, that's true. That's not a dinosaur. All right. Second one. is galimimis.

Gallimis. Gallimimis. Gallimis. Galamimis. Oh, he knows. It's a dinosaur. No, I just think that's how you pronounce it. No, you can't read.

I've learned to read. He's learned English. That is going to be a three-foot-tall raptor-like dinosaur. It's a dinosaur. It's much bigger than that. It's one you've never heard of, but it's just kind of looks like a stegosaurus, but without the spiky tail.

I'm going dinosaur, but way smaller, three centimeters large. All for dinosaurs? Hey! Oh! It looks like a bird. It's a lot bigger than three feet. Yeah, but Raptorish was pretty close.

It looks like a raptorish. Yeah. I feel like there's only two kinds of dinosaurs. Look at in comparison to the person, though. Oh, wow. It's huge. It's large and in charge. I like the gallimimis.

Yeah. All right. Who gets the point? Who gets the fictitious point there, Kyle? I'd say for us for the shape. All right. The size was not even close. Size was not close.

I'll take it. I get negative one. Did you see how I did on the card game earlier? Give him the point. I'll give me the fucking point. All right. That third one. Read it.

Edwin, Edwin helped me out on this one. Okay. It's, I have a boneritis. I have a boneritis. This is how you can tell Edwin is 11 years old.

Yeah. I have a bonaritis. It's 11 years old. I have a bonaritis. This is not a real thing. I, he should have asked for some help with AI here,

I feel like. You could have gotten a good one of these. This is a dinosaur. You think it's real? You think it's dinosaur or a muscle? I didn't know. It was dinosaur muscle. or fake. I thought it was, there's two choices. I'm going to go out the box and say this was a joke just to get Kyle to say I have a boner because Edwin's, Edwin's a child. It's a dinosaur. It is, this one is actually only about three feet and it's got a shell. Now, this is, this is certainly a muscle. It has to do. It's down in the groin area. In fact, it might be one of the muscles that expands the penis to make it erect. I hope Kyle's safe searches on when he Googles this.

he's going to search Yeah, there's nothing I see a shenanon. I see a fly. What's going on here? Go to the or without showing us go to the answers

that Edwin put in and see if he's just teasing. No, you're showing us. Tricked you. Shut up. Told you. It was a fake. It's too dumb.

Triced you. O-O-L. Pat's angry. Yeah, he's fired. No, I mean, that's unacceptable. That's dead air. I thought it was pretty funny All right

I'm laughing inside He just it just It was if he hadn't put the pronunciation I think it would have been fine I think I agree I agree Because then we would have been like I have a Bonoritis Well this is really I feel like Kyle's fault then

Yeah he fooled Kyle Yeah he got me All right next All right next is Arectodromius Erectodromius Orectodromius Orectodromius

Oh gentlemen This is clearly a muscle and it is the muscle that is right between your big and second toe that allows you to keep them apart when you need to. It's a muscle in the eye. Nah, it's a dino. It's a small herbivorous dino. Herbivorous?

Herbivorous. Wow. Well, I'm wrong about being herbivorous, but it is a dino. Oh, it's that guy. I've seen that guy on the prehistoric planet thing. Is it a burrowing? Oh. Yeah.

Oh, it's a burrowing dinosaur? Yeah. That's cool. That's really cool. What was it called again? I've already forgotten. Erectodromius. Yeah.

Rectodromius. That's pretty cool. Who names these things? It's the person that finds it, right? And it's Latin. Yeah. They're all Latin. Yep, yep, yep.

Interesting. It was pretty cool. Man, could something happen where one of it, like, just like a family of these just crawls out from a den that's been sleeping for 600 million years? That doesn't seem to. No. No, or they've just been down there. They're like, there's a ton of worms.

Maybe there's a whole... There's a good wormage down here. Yeah. It could be a whole civilization of these underground. Wouldn't that be a treat? Yeah. Good. It's like a true or something.

I like it. I like it. All right. Let's do one more. Next. Jim Millis. Jamelis. Jim.

Jamelish. Will you put the, will you put the text up on the screen so that people can see what you just did? Jamelish. He has a fourth grade education. It's unbelievable. Jamelis. He got here at 2 a.m. to study these and he still can't get it right.

This is a muscle. that is in... I actually agree with Peter. This is in the top of the foot helps you bend your toes, the Jamalus. Interesting, okay. Well, that was my last pick. I'm gonna go dinosaur with this one.

This is a dinosaur that hangs out in the... in Ponds in Downers Grove, Illinois. I think it's in Downers Grove, Illinois. I think it is a muscle that allows you to move your ears independently of your head. Okay.

I think that's possible. Some people can't do it. Can you do it? Yeah. Do we all have a Gundamilist? Oh, another hip muscle, huh? Jesus. It's in the buttock, it looks like.

I think, I think when Edwin looks. No, it's right next to the gluteus. He types in, like, penis muscle. If you walked up to a lovely lady at the gym and you're like, wow, look at that gemellus. Yeah. Do you think she'd slap you or be impressed? Slap. I think if you just said, like, hey, what exercise is?

Like, what are you doing for your gemellus? Yeah. Because it's really beautiful. Yeah, that would be, I'd be flattered by that. You know, that's that one machine. If a handsome man came up and said that to me, I'd be flattered by that. I don't know what you're talking about, but thank you. That's that one machine that no guys use at the thing.

This one? Yeah. It does all kinds of different leg squeezes. If you really, really, we used to do this when Graber and I would go work out, you'd sit on that machine and then try and make eye contact with strangers. So while they're walking by, you like try to lock eyes with them. Guys are douchebags. Yeah, it's really funny, though. Did you have your shirts off too?

A little bit. Oh, sweaty shirts off working out the gemellis. There's a, like, trend that was going around on, on the old TikTok of people who do that machine, the squeezy, the squeezy bit machine. Putting a watermelon between their legs and then trying to crush it with their squeezing leg strength. Oh, there's no way I could do that. Zero chance. No. I've never done that machine.

I don't even know if I can close them. No. No. I don't think I could pop a water balloon. Like, I, my strength in this is nothing. It's not existent. All right. We are of the generation.

there was a specific squirt gun that when I was of squirt gun, yeah, of course, the super soaker. What did you have, the 50, the 150, the 250? I had a hundy. I had a hundy. 250? Do we look like millionaires to you? Yeah, I know.

It was like 100 bucks. Yeah, nobody had one of those except for the richest kid in the neighborhood. Yeah. But that classic blue with the yellow bottle. Yeah, the standard, the standard issue. I just like got a little baby boner just seeing that. Dude, so I was like, God, that was a treat. I was like, I'm going to buy.

super soakers to have them for the summer. Yeah, smart. So I can squirt my kid and shit and my wife squirder in the head. Yeah. She's sleeping. Yeah, that's smart with urine. So I went online to get a super soaker 100 and you can still buy them. Yeah.

No way. But I'll tell you what, like all of the retailers where you can buy them, they have like two stars with like hundreds of reviews. And then there's all these other squirt guns that are like a quarter of the price that have five star reviews. That's insane to me. This was the standard. This was the Gold Star standard. I can't imagine something getting better. No, I can't either.

You could shoot water like 15 feet with these things. Now there's a very popular squirt gun in it, which I ordered three of them last night. That is a Gatlin gun. So it's got the rotating thing and it's like shoots it out. Crazy fast. And it's instant fill so you can just dip it in a pool. Get out of here. Yeah, that's crazy.

Yeah, dude. I got to see this thing. Kyle, can we get a video this? Is it that thing? Do squirt gun, Gatlin. Gatlin. Gatlin gun. I.N.

He doesn't know. Yeah, the orange one, three over. Oh, my God. Look at that. It's just a hand crank on top, dude. Wow. I mean, think about if you had that back in the Super Soaker days. You'd be the king of the neighborhood.

There's no one who could take you down. Look at this. Oh, my distance. Look at this roofies. Wow, that's a game changer. Yeah, we should be a 16. Look at the... Somebody put a lot of effort into this.

Jesus Christ, the distance. Wow. Yeah. Wow. So I'm gonna bring... I got three. I'll bring them in. Please do.

We'll try them in. Please do. I like the sound of that a lot. Okay. All right. Yeah. So, I mean, I did have one little video that Kyle, I've been trying to get through for a while here. Have you guys seen this video of, uh, there's an elephant that this woman wants to go and

pet? I think I saw this years ago. She's like a hot Instagram influencer and it throws her. Is this the right thing? Kind of. Oh, boy. Got him. This elephant's like, fuck.

Oh, interesting. I thought her chest would have hurt. Oh, but it's her butt. She's grabbing it her butt, so I think she's okay. I think her tailbone on the landing. I broke my tailbone once. I've told the story. You did?

Oh, listen, I'm not trying to, like, you know, make light of this. Forrest, I have serious, serious questions about this here. Go ahead. So if this elephant is, why is he so angry? Well, she's walking up to an elephant that's probably just been fed by the looks of things. Okay. And doesn't want to be fiddled with. It wants to eat its meal.

The elephant did that on intentional. Absolutely. It's a juvenile, right? Yeah, that's a young Asian elephant. And it's doing it. That is not an aggressive advance by the elephant. That's like swatting a fly. It's like leave me alone, basically.

Can I see it again? It is pretty funny. It's pretty sweet. It's pretty, yeah. So you're saying that's not a big aggressive move. Not at all. That's just sort of like, leave me alone. Get out of here.

I mean, it's, you know, it's not not aggressive. It's like if you were aggravated by a fly on your food. It's basically what you're seeing here. He's just like, get out of here. I'm trying to eat. He doesn't wind up. Hang on. He doesn't wind up.

Yeah. But she's not looking. Oh, yeah. Because she had a second to back up there. Yeah. But she was looking down and not at the elephant. See? Why was she looking down?

Couldn't tell you. Maybe looking at the food? No, what is she looking here? What is she doing? Yeah. What is she doing? I think she was getting ready to pose. Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

Yeah. If you, let me ask you this. If you approach an elephant. Yeah. Would it be best to keep your eyes on the animal that you're approaching? Anytime you're approaching any wild animal, I recommend keeping an eye on it. Don't look down for your mark. No, I don't think that's the key.

Let's look one more time. What is she doing? Here she comes. She's looking at the ground. What is she doing? Maybe she was looking for poop so she didn't step in it? A stroke or something. Fit check?

Was she doing a fit check? Yeah, I think she was posing. of some sort. Like trying to do like a cute over the shoulder. Oh, and over the shoulder moment. Yeah. Turn into a devastating

elephant head smash. Oh, see, now I like it. I've bruised buttock. No, I'm... She's in good spirit. She's smiling while running away. No, she's not. Well, gripping her, her tailbone.

That's the worst one, man. That's the worst injury I've ever had. Oh, yeah, I remember you had the donut. I just stood. Yeah, I didn't know. You just stood. For months. Oh.

It was like six weeks. Was this skiing? I think I remember you telling me this. How did this happen? It was when you almost took a shit in the car and you fell out. What? I don't remember that. No, no, I was young in my 20s.

Got the shit kicked out of me. Oh, geez. Really? Oh, it was a fight, yeah, in Laguna Beach of all places. It was a big bar brawl that one of my friends started. With a big slack jaw Laguna Beach, bro? I got tackled. Basically what happened was I, somehow we were on a tape.

I was on top of the guy on top of a table and then he rolled over and my weight and his weight came down about, you know, three and a half feet. Owie. And I didn't realize how bad it was till the next day. Yeah. That's how that goes. The thing with a broken tailbone is there's nothing you can do. No.

They can't put a cast out around your butt. No. It's just like, it would be something to see though. Hey, everything's going to hurt for a while. So what I do. They just soup you up on ibuprofen 800. You got it. All right. I like the story.

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Get this new must-have concealer at Sephora or at Sephora.com today. You're rolling into a bar. This is a normal-sized Los Angeles dive bar. Not a big trendy one, not a ton of space. Your average, you know, maybe hold 75 people bar. Are the serious question, I'm not being funny. No. Is it the kind of bar where there's peanut shells on the ground?

Good, good ask, but no, we're going to skip that. That's a good ask. All right, because it would have changed how I did things. I understand that. Yeah, that makes sense. This is a standard bar downtown L.A. You're rolling in because you know there's going to be a fight later. But you get to take with you.

Stay home. No, no, you have to. Got to go. You've been white gloves slapped. Ah, shoot. You have no choice. Defend my honor. Yeah, you must.

So you get to take with you your one sidekick, the one brawl buddy. who's going to help you in this bar fight. Fight against humans. Fight against the other bar brawl. Us three are fighting. Oh, God. It's a bar brawl. Okay.

Head, body, legs of a creature building your ultimate sparring buddy. So you're with him. It's you and this critter against Peter and his critter, me and my crew. Head body legs. Body legs. So everything scales to the body size.

Everything scales to the body. No special ability, nothing outside of the ordinary here, just head body legs. standard BR fight, except it's taking place in a crowded bar. I mean, I just want to save you guys, especially Peter. Yeah. How do you get into a bar? What do you do?

Walk through the front door. So it needs to fit through the front door. Good point. Yeah, Peter, elephants and rhinos. Unless they're on the body. If he can't fit inside, you're fucked. Yeah, yeah, this is true. These are good points.

Good points. Okay. Peter, why don't you lead us off here? Easy. Easy. We just talked about this animal, and I'm going to take it right off the board. Do it. A chimp body

Chimp body That's nice What do you like about that? Oh it's just It's just the strength Well I mean it would have the strength Of the chimp It's kind of of the

It's fine You know It's just muscular It's built It's agile Oh my gotta be swinging bipedal So you kind of walk in

Like put a hat on him Like weekend at Bernie's kind of thing Oh look at that nuts sec You can just You get in the arms With the body It's up to Peter He could add the arms

I would love to have the arms With the bottom That's fine That's fine We're going free form on this one All right All right Are you getting one of these L-O-Pisha ones with the no hair?

Like one of these yel-dell ones? You don't want hair in a bar brawl. You really just, you want to be old. You're going to oil them up. Yeah, he's going to be greased. Dude, you're not even going to see him coming. You put a hat and sunglasses on him. You're not even going to know.

Just me like, who's Peter's Jack friend over there with a huge nuts act? That's right. Those nuts are going to be out. That's nice. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. All right.

I'm going to start with my head. Okay. I'm going to take the head of a mandrill. Wow. Because here's my theory, right? Most, especially in L.A., which is not, you don't see a ton of bar fights. It's a lot. People here generally are kind of hipsters.

This is very true. So it's like that intimidation thing of like the big guy who has cauliflower ear steps out. And everyone goes, dude, it's cool. It's cool. Let us buy you a drink. Yeah, it's true. So I just want the mandrel to show those teeth. Just give them a little snarl.

That head, that, he walks in doing that. Yeah. Yeah. There's a bit of a flaw, though, in your logic, because you're only fighting against mine-en-forced creature, not L.A. hipsters. No, there's a bunch of, there's a bunch of people, yeah. I did say it was against ours, but it is a crowded bar. No, no, no, no.

The rules are ever evolving. The goalposts have not moved. He's still fighting our creatures, but it is a crowded bar. So you're going to scare the patrons and then come and jump into our braw? No, I'm going to scare you. And you're going to run, and your monkey's not going to know what to do. I'll eat that fucking mandrel's teeth. I'll eat your fucking mandrel's teeth.

You can't. All right. I'm gonna go ahead too. Start head. I'm gonna take the head of a big horn sheep. Ah. Yeah. I want something.

The best fight that I've ever won was I got wrapped up by a guy who was way bigger and more muscular than me. Yeah. And I wound up and just bam. And I broke the bridge of his nose with my forehead. You should go to jail. Fucking hurt my forehead too. I hope the cops are listening. No, I was in high school.

And the guy, big football player on my team. And I was like, oh, he's going to fucking kill me. And he wrapped me up. Like, he fucking bear hugged me. And I just wound up and bam. Do you have a spongy cushion layer that protects your brain from rattling like a pighorn sheep?

I don't, and I found that out because I had a migraine in the next day, so I can't even imagine how he fell. It's probably a concussion. Yeah. Anyway, I'm taking that head right there. Good head button head. That's smart.

Not much biting. No, not much biting. I'm leaning into the head budding abilities. I almost feel like the headbutting is more dangerous. And a crowded bar too, right? Yep. Yeah. And then I'm going to take the body and legs

so my appendage is going to be the arms. I understand that. Right. So I'm going to take the body and legs of an ostrich. Fascinating. Yep. Yep. Now, an ostrich is the opposite of a sturdy base.

That's okay, though. I've got that crazy head on that neck. Is the neck included? Because I feel like the neck should be tied to the head pick. That's fine. I can stay with short and a head. I'm okay with just this like... Just the head sticking out of that ball.

Just straight out of there. Yeah, I'm okay with that. It does. have bird bones. I just kind of realized that, which is bad. But you know what? I just want those feet. I want that big kicking ability. You know, that's terrible choice. Nah, it's nice. And then I'm going to add some arms to that sucker when it comes back around to me. That's going to be intriguing. Yeah. Yeah, I got a plan. So no wings? No, no wings. Don't need them. Don't need them. Interesting. I got my mandrel head. Very scary. Everyone's already run.

Peter included. No. What am I going to body? I needed to it through the door. Yes, you do. Okay. I'm going to take the body of a, I can get it, it's a pretty big door. I'm going to take the body of a, an American bison. It must be a, double doors. You could, you definitely get, you get a bison through bar doors in a way. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. So I want that big lump of muscle on top of the neck for sort of thrashing the head with those fangs forward. Okay. Muscular. You can't move it. I don't even think you're big. Big Horn head is going to do much damage to its side. Well, I mean, he'll be stuck in the doorway so you can just destroy it.

Fucking destroy it while it's wriggling the body in there. Let's try to get in. All right. Peter. All right. So I've got the body of a chimpanzee with big strong muscular arms. I really like that big horn sheep head thing. And I feel like there needs to be, it has to have a match that's worthy of that.

Unfortunately, I don't know many animals. the horned. So I'm going to go with just a very large ram's head. Oh, come on. I just did the same thing. Why, I have to defend against it. What else am I going to do? All right, fine.

I'll do what I was going to do before. I'm going to go with the head of a lion. Okay. Yeah, because I mean, on the chimp body, that's, I mean, that will terrify everyone. I'm going to smack those teeth right out of there. It'll be about the lion's head will be about that big. Well, I mean, you're never going to get near my lion's head because of the chimp's

agility. and strong arms. Well, it doesn't have any legs right now. So it's, right now it's in a wheelchair

that you're pushing. He does need, he doesn't need legs. He's in a wheelbarrow. Just a potato body. Obviously, he's going to have the fucking legs

of a African elephant. Big, thick lumbering legs. That's right. A bad Z body. Talk about, talk about a sturdy base.

You got your fucking ostrich legs. But he's bipedal. So he's two of those? He's got four. No, he's got two and then just very strong arms. Chimp arms. Yeah, that's right. Two. He's got two, Forrest. Thanks. Two of those legs. African elephant legs, chimp body, strong arms, and a fucking lion's head. Hey, Dave, or whomever he's making these drawings, good luck with that one. Yeah, I mean, once you scale that lion's head down to the body size, it's a cat head.

Yeah. What does he have on? Same head as my house cat. What does it? What does Forrest have an ostrich neck and head on his? Calm down. Just wait. Just wait. Wait until I get these arms. I've got a bison's body, a mandrel's head. Stuck in the doorway. So I need to give it some legs.

They're going to scale up to the body size, but they are really good. Yeah. I'm going to give it behind the appendages, the appendages of a gorilla. Damn it. That was my pick. It's going to pound. Fuck it. It's not going to punch like this.

It's just going to upper cut and pound the top of heads. It's well biting. Yeah. It's going to grab onto you with its big, strong bison body. Just grab you and just go, ah, ha, ha, ha. I mean, it's a really good pick. That was my pick. I wanted guerrilla arms.

Except it's going to be stuck in the door. It's still stuck in the door. It's even more stuck in the door now with big gorilla arms. Scale those limbs up to a bison body, and it's just going to rip the wall down. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to make space. That'll fit right through the door. Jump through the window.

Yeah. All right. I have the head of a big horn sheep or ram, if you are Peter, on an office. on an ostrich's body with its legs. And now that my, now that my, now that my, now that's fantastic, big kicks.

So I'm just gonna have to give it the, I'm gonna have to give it the arms of a praying mantis scaled up to ostrich body. Oh my gosh. So this guy's going, yeah, this is murderous. No, this is murders. I really wanted those, look at that. Imagine that scaled up.

If it's trained in Muay. Yeah. Cruddy kid, he's gonna stab you, head butt you. Knee kicks, knee kick, kneeing you in the abdomen with ostrich legs. Yeah, you're fucked. This is a good fight. It's a good fight.

Brosner's way in. I'm not going to... Can I recap this? I got it. All right. Way in, let us know who won. Is it my ostrich-bodied, big horn sheep with the arms of a praying mantis?

Is it Patrick's mandrel-headed bison with the appendages of a silverback gorilla? Flailing in the doorway? It is, yes. Or did Peter win with his... What head did you pick again? A lion head? That's right.

A lion's head on a... a chimpanzee's body with arms on the elephant legs. That's right. It seems very immobile. No bigger than a softball. I mean, at least they'll be through the doorway, mate. And listen, before you sign off, we got something else special coming up. Oh, yeah.

We got, yeah. Next week. So normally we do a pod every two weeks. We will be putting out an extra public pod next week. Next Monday. It's going to drop. What are we going to do? What is this?

Peter, what are we got here? It's the battle royale game. It's a card game of the game we just played. We've been working on. Hold on a second. That's right. Show these cards. Are you telling me that we created a game out of the thing that we've done for like four years straight?

You can actually play Battle Royale with all of these fun cards? That's right. Even more than those cards. There's five different kinds of cards. It's really good. Wow. It's really fun. It's a very fun drinking game.

It's a fun game to play with your kids. We're just going to demo it. Yeah. We're just going to play. My four-year-old gets it. We'll do other shit too. And he's not that smart because he's four. so he gets it.

Well, you're not as smart as a three-year-old, so you don't talk about that. All right. Thank you, everybody. Don't forget, wild times. dot club forward slash info. All the links to everything. Check out that Patreon. New free trial if you've never checked it out.

Now is the time. $250 bucks cash every month for the next couple months. So sign up, sign on, wild times. Dot club forward slash info for all those links and more. And soon you can buy the game there. Very soon. Very soon. Good night, everybody.

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