Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Extinct Giant Bird De-Extinction, The Truth About Vets & World Record Lobsters

Episode Date: August 4, 2025

This week we discuss Colossal bringing back the Moa, how some veterinarians can scam people, and huge lobsters that deserve to live. Enjoy! (TWT 179)Chubbies: Your new wardrobe awaits! Get $10 off Chubbies at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/wild #chubbiespod Smalls: For a limited time only, get 60% off your first order PLUS free shipping when you head to https://smalls.com/WILD. Magic Mind: Take advantage of this launch and get 25% off Magic Mind Performance Gummies with code WILD25 or go to https://magicmind.com/wildgmGet More Wild Times Podcast Episodes:https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wildtimespod/subscribehttps://www.patreon.com/wildtimespodMore Wild Times:Instagram: http://instagram.com/wildtimespodTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespodcastFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/X: https://x.com/wildtimespodDiscord: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9DbWebsite: https://wildtimes.club/Merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merchBattle Royale Card Game: https://wildtimes.club/brOur Favorite Products:https://www.amazon.com/shop/thewildtimespodcastMusic/Jingles by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkeyThis video may contain paid promotion.#ad #sponsored #forrestgalante #extinctoralive #podcast

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In harmony, this is the Wild Times, the greatest podcast in the world. I'm one of your three very special hosts named Forrest Galante. Hi. That's it. Hello. That's all I'm going to say for the intro. Good night, everybody. We're all wearing shorts with sneakers and no socks.

A lot of sockless sneakers and short shorts on this pod. Skinny white legs. Yeah. Mine aren't skinny. Pat and Peter are here too. Let's get into it. What are we talking about? What are you guys?

What's happening? Boys. I'm just enjoying the view. These legs. Yeah, I mean, look, summer, the summer of peas in full swing. Are you guys enjoying her summer as much as I am? Yes, sorry, I was distracted by Peter Spilling Coldborough all over himself as he took that sip.

Yeah. I'm loving this summer and I'll tell you why. I'll tell you specifically why. Why is that? Because I thought my summer was going to suck because I had to travel like every other day all summer long. And I was upset. Don't get me wrong. but I just had one of my shoots to India moved a month.

It was a three-week shoot. It moved forward. Forward or back forward? Well, it can't move backward because that would be backward. But that means I have four weeks at home in the summer. Damn. That is a treat. You're not going to tell you what. Within one week, you'll have 25 things booked following three weeks.

It is kind of bullshit and it's a boy who cried wolf situation because you've been saying things like this for more than a death. No, I'm serious. It's like if I just told you like I was going to quit drinking for 10 years and every time I got drunk was the last time. He'd be like, yeah, he's never going to quit. Yeah, that's fair. He quits between drinks. The problem is I love this. Okay.

He quits well, he pukes. He's not drinking for certain minutes of the day. The problem is I love the sound of being home, relaxing, spending time with my family. And then after I got home yesterday, by the way. after four-ish days, I have the most unbelievable amount of like, what's it called when you're cooped up too long? Like restlessness. Yeah. And I'm just like, I got to go.

I got to go do something. But right now it sounds good. So you're good. You're good. Enjoy. Yeah. So where did you just come back from? Because you sent us a picture that I'd like for Kyle to pull up, but you were on a plane.

Oh. Where are you coming back from? Dude, it's amazing. Yeah, I bounced around a little bit, but I was on the East Coast. And I see this guy, just pause it for a second. I see this guy chat GPTing. And I, you know, I was nosy. I was stuck in coach at the back of the plane.

Let me set this up. You're in coach and you appear to be in the aisle seat. Correct. And you're videoing through the crack of the aisle and middle seat in front of you of the gentleman's phone who's sitting in the middle. But let me explain why I was doing that. Okay. Because I watched this guy walk in and he like, he looked at his seat and there were two people. people already. He was in a middle seat and he went as he got to his seat. And then he like,

what the fuck did he think when he saw a B or an E on his fucking ticket? I'm with you. I, it's like, maybe it's the first time he's ever flown. I don't know. But he got there and he like, let out this big sigh and then he like squeezed by the person and sat down. And then he was so fidgety. And I was like, this guy's fidgeting a lot. And then he pulls out his phone and I see him go to chat GPT because I'm looking through the crack. And I'm like, oh, this is going to be good. So I start filming before the prompt. And then this comes up. And then what does it say?

Oh, read it aloud. So you saw him pull up Chat GPT who's going to ask it something. You're like, I need to know. Yeah, I wanted. So I was getting nosy already. And this guy, of course, has no idea. This is a life lesson, by the way, a little pro tip. If you think you're alone staring at butts on the flight,

if you're in coach, the guys behind you can see what you're looking at. Clearly. Don't forget that. Understood. But this guy goes on to ChatGPT and he's and he asked chat GPT. It says, I'm sitting in coach middle seat. Do I get the armrest to myself

or do I share them? Question mark. Armrests, pardon me. He's literally asking chat GPT for flight etiquette. What does it say? So what was its answer? If you're stuck in the middle seat, etiquette experts say yes, you're entitled to both armrests. Wow. That's what it says. As a consolation

for being less comfortable than the people on that. Got it. So he needed to validate himself and chat gbt is very good at validating whatever you tell it so did he then take this information and deploy it no that's what i found particularly funny watch he reads it it's like all things chat gpt way too wordy and nine pages long and then he just puts his phone back down and tucks his elbows in so he's got need from what i can tell he has maybe neither armrest here that's what that was what i was getting out of this yeah well then the people on the window and aisle are fucking animal.

Well, what you have to do, by the way, I've been in this situation. You take your elbows and you tuck them really far back on either armrest. Behind the other person. Behind the others. And then you slowly like edge them forward. And you will get to a point. Yeah, you will get to a point where your elbows touch.

And then the person next year will be like, whoa, and they'll pull their elbow. And you'll be like, oh, mine now, bitch. Have you ever had a situation where you've been in a middle seat and one of the people, or even doesn't matter if you're in the middle. someone next to you just fully spreads their legs. Dude, I got a story about that. Kyle just almost had a seizure in the booth. Did this just happen to you, Cal?

Yeah. Like coming home recently? On the trip, actually. What happened? So I went to the Yankees game. We were in the Northeast. I went to the Yankees game. And there was a guy that is full spread wide open.

Sitting like this. Worse. Oh, boy. So much worse. Doing the splits. Yeah, exactly. And I sit down. And I'm, you know, my legs are like this at first.

And I'm kind of like, you know, pushing my leg up. against his a little bit to say like, hey, buddy, you know. Yeah. You're in my seat. Yeah. Didn't budge for three innings. And our legs were essentially like five up against each other fighting. Oh my God. Until he finally gave in and then.

Can you describe what he looked like a little bit? Just he bald. Average 50 year old. You should take a pen out and stabbed him in the thigh. It's within your seat. You're allowed to stab wherever you're. That's right. Dude, I took a flight in college that I'll never forget.

And it was one of the shortest flights I've ever been on. It was from Chicago, Illinois to Topeka, Kansas. So it's like an hour flight. But I got in a relatively small plane, and I was sandwiched in a middle seat between two of the largest human beings I've ever seen in my life. I mean, like, I'm not trying to fat shame or anything, but literally clinically obese.

Like they were each well over 300 pounds. Wow. The lap belt extenders. Oh, they both got lap belt extenders. That's fine. Whatever. You're a big guy. Don't seat me in the middle seat.

but the entire flight, my back could not touch the seat because I was sandwiched between fat, sweaty guys like this. And I literally couldn't even touch the back seat because there was so much huge guy behind me spilling into my seat. It was insane. That's crazy. And I got off and my buddy was like, you know, a couple seats ahead of me or whatever. And he's like, how's your flight?

And I was like, I'm not going home. Like, I'm going to stay. Right. Taking the train. I'm going to walk. It was like. And dude, I got out. and it was, I don't know if the air conditioning was broken

or these guys were just that thermodynamic, but both my sleeves on either side were soaking wet from not my sweat. That's heinous. Not my sweat either. Someone else's sweat. You should have just popped your top off. Dude, oh my God, that is horrible.

I have such a distinct memory of that. And I was like, that was the worst flight I've ever taken. Yeah, that's unlucky to get a double. A double, yeah. What do you guys think about the controversy where a lot of people think that, If you're over a certain weight, you should have to buy two seats so that you have the space. I mean, this would be a perfect example of why.

I think it's bullshit, and I'll tell you why. Okay, let's hear it. You're right. That is a purge example of why. I think it's bullshit. They just, the planes just need to be fucking better. Oh, yeah, sure. Now it's on us, you know what I mean?

Now it's on the passenger to be like, oh, sorry, you weigh over 300 pounds. And fuck you. Right, right. Just like, be better about seating arrangements or be better. You should have to put your weight in the, when you buy your ticket. I don't care if that's... And then when you take, like, little puddle jumpers that you have to weigh in. That's right.

Yeah. But, you know, it's always like, you know, I've had it a couple times where I had to pay because my bag was like three pounds over. Yeah. And I'm like, but I'm only 170. Right. Like, if I was 174, mm-hmm. Yeah.

No one would say anything. Yeah. The aggregate weight doesn't seem to mean that much. It should be the combo of your weight and your suitcase. And you imagine you're like an NFL lineman. It's like, yeah, well, you get one shirt. That's it. You're allowed to bring it.

bring one t-shirt with you. You should have to step onto the scale. Yep. And whatever they want your bag, like whatever the calculation is. Yeah. Okay, you're 225. You're good.

Right. So everybody gets 225. And then if you're over that, it's just up to you'll be per pound. People are going to be really mad about this, I think. But I think it's a good idea. It's already curious. It's mostly a joke.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. One day I do hope that I'll, I always hope the whole time I was single that I would one time sit on a plane next to a beautiful woman. It happened to me once. It's never happened. It happened to me in college.

Yeah. But we did get, remember those two flight hostesses? That was very different. Yeah. So it did happen. Well, we weren't sitting next to them, but we were the only people who were awake and drinking. Yeah. And they wanted to go party after the flight landed.

Yep. Oh, wow. Yeah. So we were sitting across the aisle from each other. Yeah. And they kept coming by and being like, you guys need drinks? Like drinks are on us. And they were like very flirty.

Wow. Yeah. And then we landed and one of them slipped. I don't remember it to me or Pat like, she's like, I'm staying at the, we're staying at the Marriott, you know, airport hotel, meet us at the bar. And we thought about it and then we didn't do it. We gave it a good thought. It was really late.

And we had like early meetings the next morning in New York. Yeah. And so, and you were married at the time. Yes. So irrelevant. It was like none of it makes sense. But that was the night. Kyle, remember what I told you about my New York City pizza?

experience with Patrick. I do. If you offered me, and maybe you could, let me set this up for you, Peter. Sure. Okay. So we get in, we get boozed up on the plane because we're at the back of the plane now chatting with the girls. They're giving us unlimited gin and tonics. They wanted to hang out. Yeah. It was awesome. We felt super cool. We landed at, you know, it's like 10.30 at night. We had like a 9 a.m. Eastern meeting, which is 6 a.m. here, right? And we, we debate. Do we go meet these girls? We're like, no good will come of that. So we leave that alone. taxi into Manhattan. Pat's like, dude, I'm starving.

How about you? I'm like, I'm so fucking hungry. She's like, we got to get pizza. We're in New York. It's now like rounding midnight. Yeah. And so this is what I told. This is what I told Kyle.

We dropped our bags off. We walked for a long way. Like maybe eight blocks. Yeah, wow. And we pulled into a place that did pizza by the slice with wine pairings. Oh, wow.

That's nice. It was the best slice of pizza and wine I've ever had. I still refer to it. And I don't think it's because I was just really hungry. It was the best pizza I've ever. Same. Do you guys remember what the name of the place?

Here's the thing. And I want to pose this to Pat. I told Kyle, if you offered me $10 million to find that pizza place, I couldn't do it. I could. I don't know. I mean,

I could maybe track down what hotel we were at, you know, and go from there. That would be the starting point. You'd have to do a search grid. But I remember we took like so many weird streets and alleys. Well, because we didn't fucking know. For whatever.

reason. We didn't just like Google map it. We were just like, we'll walk out, we'll find something. Exactly. Yeah. And we just meandered aimlessly. For ages. Yeah. Well, you guys had the best pizza place in New York City. You guys did have that episode when you were jogging and you had lost time. Yes. Yeah. Was it similar to that? This is what Kyle said to me when I told him about this when he said he was going to New York.

He's like, you and Patrick just get into these weird things. Yeah, it wasn't that we lost time. We had some paranormal event happened. Right. Okay. Where we... Glitched. Yeah, we traveled through some sort of wormhole in Beverly Hills, California. Fact.

Right. So you traveled through the wormhole and you guys ended up on the other side of town somehow. Is that what happened? That's correct. Yeah. Very strange. I know we talked about it in a podcast like three years ago. We ran in a straight line and we somehow did a circle.

No one will ever understand it. No. My brother insists that he had an experience with a Ouija board where they brought an evil spirit into the house. Okay. And then they had to like get it contained. I swear to God. Like he,

he's like running around with a fart jar. He's like, I'll get you. No, they had to like get it back into the Ouija board. It was like telling them its name and shit and they were all freaked out. I think the lights went flickered and the door slammed. Oh no.

Yeah. And I, you know, and I always am just like, really, really this happened? And he's like, swear to God. Just like, all right. Hey, speaking of age. ancient spirits, Kyle. What's in the news? What's in the news?

What's in the news? All right. Well, I got something to talk about that I found interesting. I mean, I'm wearing their shirt. We all know I think what Colossal's doing is really interesting. I sadly, even as an advisor, found this out on Instagram. They are bringing back the Moa.

Do you know what that is, Peter? It's that big, flightless bird, right? You've learned so much. Very large. Biggest flightless bird, right? Second biggest. Elfin bird was the biggest. But yeah, so I guess Ben Lamb, the CEO and Matt James, the chief animal

officer, greatest title ever. Yeah, went to New Zealand, met with Peter Jackson. Oh, wow. Yeah. And then a bunch of indigenous tribes, and I forget which ones, you know, various, I think it might say it there, project partners with New Zealand's Nagai Tahu, I'm sure I'm pronouncing

that wrong. Peter Jackson's, he did like Lord of the Rings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And they just basically were like, hey, let's fucking do this thing. So they got all the stuff they needed and they're going to genetically modify, you know, hybrid creatures and use the DNA. The same thing they always do. Use the DNA and bring back some moas. What do you think the base animal will be? Because we know what the wolf or the wolf they brought back, they used the base of a regular wolf.

Look it up, Kyle. What's the closest living relative to a moa? I think it's a kiwi. It's a ratite. So it's a flightless bird. Yeah. But the The extinct Moa is the...

Tinamo. Tinamu. The group of South American... Weird. I don't know if that's still used, but... That's really weird. Yeah. Why is that weird?

They look nothing like each other? I just think it's weird that the closest relatives in South America. Agreed. Yeah. But it's, you know, it's a big ratite.

So it's similar to an ostrich or a cassowary or one of those things. Dude, pull up a size comparison. They have a, they have a taxidermite or a, you know,

a rendition. of a Moa at one of the museums in New Zealand. I remember you sent me pictures of that when you were there. Yeah. Do we do the size of this thing, dude? Within like the last hundred years or so? When people went to New Zealand,

the Maori people settled there. They killed them out. 600 years. Oh, wow, 600 years. Shit. Okay. Yeah. So that's why.

And again, when Colossel does things, you know, obviously I think Colossel's cool. But when they do things that are writing humanity's wrongs, even when it was like ignorance, you know, like, oh, well, we didn't know we'd kill all the moas or the dodoes or the thylosine. Yeah. I think that's great.

So I think this is really interesting. Apparently, there's a lot of, a lot of DNA of these guys, because it's only 600 years old. Makes sense. Tons of fragmented eggshells, tons of bones. I think it was a preserved foot. I saw Peter Jackson holding there. Or Ben was holding.

Yeah. So they've got all this, they've got all the stuff. They're going to build a Moa. Yeah. Do you look like twins. They look like twins. They look like twins about a rough night, to be honest. large foot. That is a big bird, man.

They're not crazy. That's insane. So I think I saw the side by side next to a human or an ostrich or whatever. This is probably what? Like four times the size of an ostrich? Probably like double. I don't know. If you got that size comparison, you can probably tell. It's huge. It could kill a human for sure. So yeah, we, you know, people moved into New Zealand and bopped these things on the head and ate them and they went away. but something else that ate them when extinct. That's right. Was this a bird of some sort, right?

He's learned so much. He didn't even know what a bird was when we started this podcast. He had no idea. Never heard of a bird. Yeah. Never heard bird. What was it? What did you tell?

It was the Haasst eagle. The Haasd eagle. Yeah. That's right. Because it would bomb down and fucking peck their heads out. Do you know how it got named that? The Haas? Yeah.

No. Do you ever heard that song's like, do. Do Haas. Oh yeah. By Rumskin. Yeah. Rumskin named the bird. That's not true.

No, it's not. But it's cool. It's a fun idea. Dude, I was pretty bummed yesterday. I got like a link showed up on Reddit for one of those bird feeders that has the camera and the AI in it that can detect the birds. Yeah. This is like a new thing. You had brought it up. You have one.

Yeah, bird buddy. Yeah, bird buddy. How much did it cost you? Well, not a sponsor. Not a sponsor. They reached out to me when they were prototyping and sent me three of them. Oh, wow. And I set up two.

I still have one in the box. I could give you guys. I give it to you if you want. I'll take it. Yeah. But here's why I was bummed. I swear to God I'll take it because it's, they normally cost between like 100 and some of them cost up to 300 bucks.

Yeah. Yeah. And I, and this was like a coupon. I know this is bullshit on, on Amazon sometimes. It said it was originally listed for 300, which I'm sure is bullshit. But it was 50 bucks. And I sent it to my wife like. But was it the bird buddy?

Because there's like a bunch of knockoff once now. Yeah, it was a knockoff. It's like a Temu like version. But still, it was $50. 50 bucks so I was like this is this is a good deal and I've wanted one of these because I think it'd be fun to show the kids yeah yeah what birds visit it has AI telling you what bird it is and shit and information on it wife just didn't respond and I was like oh it must be a mistake like she's not as stoked as I am just hates you then I asked her when I saw I was like what did you think of

the bird thing she's like I was like are you kidding me this is such a deal and it's the coolest goddamn thing I've ever seen dude maybe she hates birds yeah but you were really really angry at birds earlier in the week. Was I? What happened? I forget. Well, you were asking me if there were any birds that walk instead of hopping. Why was I angry? Well, you kind of ranted about pigeons. Well, I'm sure. I forgot about it.

I was thinking a lot about the hop and the walking because I was just like, I was trying to think like there's hopping birds, but I can't think of any of that just like stroll. And then I was, and then when you. Longleggers do. Well, yeah, like the, the ostrich. Lomingos. Lamingos. They strollers.

They're strollers. I guess I just wasn't. My brain wasn't expanded enough, you know. Fair enough. All right. Well, that's enough bird nonsense. Real quick, Kyle, while we're talking, if you could do a throwback later, there's a great bit that Patrick does on YouTube. It's really old.

He does it about birds being attracted to one another. How do you think of these things? Is that still on there? It's on there. See, if you can find it on YouTube. Oh, yeah. This is a stand-up bit. Patrick Delucah.

I mean, this is probably from 2005. Oh, yeah. There's no way this is on the internet still. The delivery is really. spot on. Bird show. Bird show. No, put improv comedy, improv comedy bird bit. And then 300 more words for the search. Yeah. Come on. Come on. You see it there? I'll find it someday. I'll find it someday. That's why I said, we'll do a throwback later. Okay. Okay. Is that it right there? That's something. That's Pat. It was a great. It was a great bit. Got a huge laugh.

It was funny. I laughed. Can you just do it right now? You remember? So all my friends did stand up and I would go to the improv so and I was like some of them aren't even very funny yeah in life yeah so I was just like and we were really good friends with the the manager uh-huh so he'd be like he was like uh you know Chris Rock was gonna do 45 minutes but he can only do 30 do you want to do 10 minutes yeah just like all right and then I would just wing jokes about like animals oh nice that makes sense it's just a bit about like how does a bird know that another bird's like hot yeah I don't know how that was the whole joke and then I was like like, are they like, are the pigeons at the park being like,

do check out the beak on that bitch. It's so, it's so yellow. It's so yellow. Yeah, so it's just that kind of stuff. I like that. That kind of stuff. Kyle, you're feverishly scrolling pictures of mantereys. Are you planning a tropical vacation while we're talking over here?

No, I'm not. What are you looking at? Well, apparently there's a, yeah, yeah, go ahead, Forrest. I just saw the headline, new species of manterey found. Before we dig into this, I'm going to say it's bullshit. Board shorts to the pod, huh guy? You got shorts on? Yeah, but these are the OG stretch chubbies right here.

Yeah. Well, I have my chubby's classic line swim trunks because I'm going from here to L.A.X. Meeting my wife there, going to Cabo. Oh, that starts today. Yep. Lucky. Now I'm just jealous. No underpants on the plane needed because they are lined.

You're one of those guys. Dude, chubbies took everything that was annoying about old school swimsuits, like the scratch. G-liner. Yeah. This is like wearing a pair of velvet panties. And it's all in one. You got your shorts, you got your liner. You'd have to keep track of where your undies went.

And by the way, then, when it's dinner time, time to head to the bar. Yeah. I'll put my Chubby's performance polo on look real nice. Oh, sharp. For a limited time, use our exclusive code wild for $10 bucks off at chubby shorts.com. Let the thighs out. Let the good times roll. Look, whether you're heading to Cabo,

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Keep the good vibes going with Chubbies. Yeah. I switched my elderly 15-year-old cat's diet to great success. Legit. My cat, Lemley, I switched him over to Small's fresh cat food. and notable increase in energy. Oh, really? Just like, you know, because I was like she's 15.

She's lethargic. She sleeps a lot. She's old. Same. I swear to God, she's back to like chasing invisible bugs around the house. Like I hear her all night doing, like when she was five years younger. She loves the food and is incredibly annoying because she constantly wants more of it.

Yeah. But man, it has, it's like really giving her some pep in the step. Yeah, it's not a fluke either, dude. I started mine on smalls, too, not only tons of energy, but so much more affectionate. Think my cat likes me more and is like, thanks, dude, for doing me a solid with a small, shinier coat. And they're giving a high protein, like, balanced diet, you know, things that cats are supposed to eat, not kibble filled with grain, which I think is awesome.

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Give them a better diet. Thank you. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. So knowing nothing else. Literally, I've only read the headlines. So is the reason that you don't believe it because mantras are gigantic? No, yes. The headline, well, it's no end, yes. The headline is new species of mantrase. So your brain and the clickbait goes,

wow, they found a brand new 15 foot long wingspan sea butterfly, which is basically what a manta ray is. And then I promise you, I haven't looked at it, I'm still looking at Peter, I'm not looking at the news. I promise you when we click the article, it's going to be like, well, turns out the mantras that are in

Tahiti have one slightly less scale on one side of testicles and some guy who's trying to make a name for himself has said it's a new species. And it's like, it's not. It's just one that rubbed a rock funny. If Manterians have testicles, I would be shot. So how close to my head to being accurate on that guy? I mean, the reason I was frantically scrolling through this thing is because I was trying

to find something of substance because there's absolutely nothing here. Yeah, there we go. Well, let's see what it says. And the crystal clear water is the Atlantic Ocean, a large creature. Oh my God, this is stupid. Keep going. It turned out to be a cryptic new species. It's like when you find a.

researchers decide to take a closer look at the mantras and devil rays of the Atlantic Ocean. Blah, blah, blah. There's a lot of blah, blah, blah. Wow, there's a lot of fluff here. So where's the new species? What is the information, Kyle? It says for, you know, nope, that's that, don't go to that paragraph. That doesn't say anything.

That's why there's nothing here. Go back to the bullet points that Edwin put together for us. What does it say? It was rumored to be a new species, but recently researchers identified the new species. Here we go. Through detailed analysis of physical features in DNA, using museum specimens and cited databases. This is the thing we do now.

It has a distinctive black and white coloring compared to other mantarro. No, it doesn't. They're all that color. They're all that color. But it's one shape. That'd be like saying we discovered a new penguin because it's black and white. Dude, exactly. It's just like this is what you do now to get funding.

I think I told you guys, I'm literally writing a book on this currently. I don't know if I've announced this. Yeah. What is it? Oh, yeah, I don't have a title for it yet. but I've interviewed all of my favorite like renegade scientists and biologists that have kind of broken the mold of conservation

and it'll be published next year you know, it's all being written and everything and the point of the book is that the model's broken and I know we've talked about that many times the model of biology and conservation is broken and this is a perfect example and I'm not naming names. I don't know the researcher that did this but now if you want to get funding

you just go look for a group of animals that's the same as another group of animals that live somewhere slightly different. Yeah. And you're like, all right, we have an agenda. Our agenda is to figure out how this is a different species. Not because we genuinely believe it.

You know what I mean? It's like, let's come up with a way to make it a different species so that we as a group of researchers can claim we found a new species, we've made this big discovery, now we're going to get funding, then we're going to go do another one.

Okay. And it's like, how is that actually benefiting? It doesn't sound like it is. It's not. It's like, yeah, we need to save mantarays. Yeah. That's it. We know that. Right.

Like work on saving and work on. Like this is just a ploy for attention and funding. It is fucked up how, I mean, you know, that's how everything kind of works in the world, though, isn't it? I mean, you have to put on this big facade to be able to get the money to do shit. But it's like there really is what, how could there be any other way? Humans have just lost their way. They're not going to get money any other way, like out of the goodness of Bill Gates is hard. Well, if you just go out and be like, here, I'm a man.

I'm a Manta ray conservationist or researcher or whatever, and I just want to save them. It's like, yeah, cool, get in line. Yeah, they'll be like, why should we give you money? Exactly. So go back up. So it's saying, does this picture change your mind at all? It's saying they have this distinct symmetrical black and white markings. I mean, not really.

That's the thing. If you, like, Kyle, go to a video of Manta Ray school feeding. You know, you could do that at Sakaro. You could do that at Hawaii, whatever. And you'll see every single one is slightly different. There are jet black ones. They are black and white ones. They all have a slightly different patterning.

So to just come up and be like, oh, these ones have this one, it's like, that's whatever. Right. And the undersides, too, oh boy, look at this guy. The undersides too are like a footprint, you know, or sorry, a fingerprint. Like all their spotting is different. So it's just, I'm not saying it's bad research. I haven't read the article. I'm being overly critical.

But it's just one of those things where the headline makes you think all of a sudden you're going to see a giant manteree that's never been. seen before and it's just not bad. Yeah. Okay. Have you guys seen the pink one? The pink Manta Ray? You ever seen this? No. Kyle. Do your job. So this has got to be something. This is real. Oh, I thought it was going to be very light.

It's a fully hot pink 15 foot Mantaretre. It looks like someone took a highlighter to it. Yeah. What's going on there? What happened? It's, uh, it's some rare, to try that again. It's some weird genetic morph. I don't know if it's Lucism or albinism or what it is, but it's, it's, yeah, no, it's not CRISPR. But it's, it's, yeah, no, it's not CRISPR. But, but this is real. These pictures that you think are all colored in

AI chat GPT. This is a real thing. Can you go to the one? Is that? Oh, is that a pink dolphin? Oh, no, the Manta ray coming above the surface. That's a dolphin. Oh, that's a river dolphin. But scroll down, go to that one from the Smithsonian. Let's see what it says about it. That is wild. Isn't that cool? That's real. It's, I believe it's at that Ningaloo Reef that I went and filmed at, which I absolutely loved. First spot of lurking the waters off Australia. Lady Island, Lady Elliott Island. I don't know where that is 11 foot male fish cheekly named blah blah blah the pink panther does it say what the the root causes man doesn't matter but it's isn't that cool and that guy's just like out there and he's been

filmed every year for like 10 years that says uh genetic mutation oh we know that says they ruled out a skin infection or an unusually red pigment heavy diet and now they're yeah so they don't know But yeah, it's just some weird, you know, mutation, with leucism, albinism, something like that. One variant called erythriism. Erethraism. Erythrism. Can give skin a reddish.

I'm going to crack this light strike. Yeah. Have yourself a booze. Anyway, I thought that was pretty cool. Yeah, no. It's good. Sorry. What flavor?

This one is the orange mango. Orange mango. It's delicious. Hydrate yourself. All right. Well, you know what? Erethrism. Just reminded me of a game. Kyle, give me a jingle for a game.

That actually came together really well. Kyle, host the not weird animal laws. Host the weird names game. Beastly buzzword game. How does it work? Explain it. Let's get into it. So I'm going to read you guys a word.

And then it's a scientific word that describes an animal's behavior. And you guys are going to have to guess what. The behavior is based on the word. And when he says you guys, he's talking about you, brosters and sisters. We want you to play along with us, comment. Yeah, we're just going to be quiet. We're just going to be silent while you guys play.

Kyle host. We're going to be the fourth contestant. See if you can get, yes. We did number one last time. Did we do kleptoparstitism? We sure did. Oh, okay. Let's see if any of us remember.

I thought I had a point. I remember what your guess was. Probably something about stealing fish eggs or something. Let's not do that. We did that one. Well, now I want to know what the fuck it is. Do you guys remember what it is? No. I think I do, which is

it's when an animal steals something from another animal like a nest or babies or something like that. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. The food in particular. Food. Food thieves. All right, let's get into it. Okay. First one is obligate nasal breather. That's a scientific term. Yeah. It's my wife.

It's your wife sleeping. She calls me that. She's like, you're a mouth breather. She's a nasal breather. I think I can piece this to. together from the words. Same. What do you got, Peter? Oh, I mean, you're obligated to breathe through your nose,

so they don't breathe through their mouth. They can't. It's animals that cannot breathe through. Such is an elephant, which can only breathe through its trunks. Look it. Good. That's a good one.

That's correct. Easy mode. Wait, are dogs, what's the thing? Because if you hold a dog's snout closed, it could suffocate. Is that true? Dogs can't breathe through their nose? I believe so. Can dogs breathe through their nose?

breathe through their nose. Let's find out. I've heard that if you were to hold a dog's mouth closed, that they could suffocate from it. It says dogs can breathe through their nose. Oh, they are primarily nasal breathers. Ask if you can hold a dog's mouth closed.

He will refuse to give it. Don't ask it that. You know what he means. No, yes, you can hold the dog's mouth shut. He means, will that kill it? That's the question here. It is not recommended. We'll say that. Either way, you shouldn't do it. You don't want to pull your dog. Master dogs, whether your dog or someone else, can be potentially fatal if it restricts their breathing.

They breathe through their nostrils, but if their mouths held shut, blah, blah, blah. All right. Well, here's a pro tip. If your dog has its mouth shut, hold its mouth shut for an extra second, peel its lips back and kiss it on the teeth. Yeah. Not with my dog. I do that. I don't know why I do.

It's such a gross thing I do, but I love it. I'm going to sidetrack us real quick. But remember I was talking to you guys about how my dog and vets are horrible. I took him to the vet. Oh, yeah. Did you ever do the teeth cleaning thing like I told you about? Right, yeah, because he had this sneezing issue. He's been having these banana sneezing fits.

Yeah. So I took him to a new vet and I was really happy with her and everything. But so she gave him some antibiotics and basically just wiped his teeth off with a gauze pad, which I could never do because he'd bite my hand off. By the way, if you're just watching this, Peter's dog weighs eight. pounds. 11.3 actually. Pardon me.

He's just waiting. So breath doesn't smell at all anymore between the antibiotics and wiping off the teeth. Bingo. I've been to my other vet fucking four times at least. They've never done anything except for try to convince me to pay $2,000 to $6,000 to put him under and pull his teeth and clean his teeth. Have you ever seen Catch Me if you can, Leonardo DiCaprio movie? Yeah, yeah. I've thought this for many, many years.

you could do that pretending to be a vet. Absolutely. There are very few things that you could just skirt by and make millions of dollars. I could literally just go rent out an office in a strip mall, put up a sign and be like, dog vet. Fake degree. Yeah.

Chatgy. Not even, dude. Kyle could bust that out on Photoshop in about a minute for you. By the way, with the advent of AI too, you could probably pull it off successfully and treat dogs now. I'm telling you, you could be a multi-millionaire, catch me if you can, style con artist as a vet. No one would, no one's going to call you out. And guess what?

If your patient dies, you're like, it's a little too late. I'm sorry. Yeah, that'll be $600 to come. I think so. The good ones do, right? I don't know. Well, definitely. I mean, you have to pay millions to go to vet school, so they better.

I don't know. It's definitely mid-six figures. Sure. I heard a story. I don't want to throw someone under the bus here, but a mutual friend went to a Alaska to do an Alaska, we'll get back to the BC Buzzword game in a minute here, Kyle. An Alaska vet show. This is my fault. Yeah. I take four. You know those like, you know, like I remember when Animal Planet had a hundred vet shows and it was like, I'm following the fun vet to see what he does. So our friend goes up to Alaska and they get in and the first day, they're like set to film and it's all, you know, bubbly and it's like, you know, I'm the bad boy and I'm the fun one and you know, I'm the campy one and whatever. And they go in and they start filming.

And the first patient that comes in is this lady's cat. Cat needed her teeth cleaned, claws trimmed, something like that. Something totally benign. Yeah. You know, and the lady comes in, she's like, here's Fluffy. And, you know, I hope that, you know, I hope that she can get her claws trim nicely. And she does her little interview. And she's like, you know, Fluffy's just been scratching up the couch a lot.

And it'll be so good to have her claws trimmed and we'll pick her up today at three. And they take Fluffy back there, mix up the paperwork, kill the cat. Oh, my God. But here's the thing. And this is what our friend told me. Yeah, they over, overdo the cat or whatever. Oh, God.

And for a claw, literally a harmless claw trim. And then, you know, the lady comes back at three and she's like, yeah, I'm here to pick up scruff's. Fluffy, whatever I called it. And then they're like, oh, we're so sorry to tell you that Fluffy actually had a fatal and aggressive form of cancer. Wow. And she passed away on the table. And the woman like, eats it up, believes it all, breaks down. in tears. It's like, I'm so, I can't believe it. Like, she seemed so healthy. She had a great

breakfast this morning. Everything. This is infuriating. Completely got away with it. The show never went to air. And they continue to film for like two more weeks or whatever, film the whole thing. Yeah. But this friend of ours, and again, I don't want to point fingers or anybody to tie this back to what this was. But this friend of ours is like, yeah, that was when I learned that like vet clinics are fucking bullshit. And he told me like this is, and they, like, the whole vet clinic had a meeting about. And they're like, this is, what we tell her. Do not admit that we over,

not euthanized, an anesthetized. Yeah. Do not admit that we overanithetized the cat, just tell her that it had this rare form of aggressive cancer. And the woman, like,

lost her pet that day that she took in for a routine claw trimming. And then got lied to and fucking just, I hope those people, maybe she listens to the show. Yeah, maybe. Maybe she'll find out. Exactly.

And then, yeah, and I thought it was kind of, bit of just desserts that they never, never aired the show. Good. Fuck them. Dude, do you know that if you take, like, let's say she knew what happened, you can't sue the vet. Yeah, what's that?

There's a term for that. It's because their dog is considered property or your cat. Your pet is considered property versus, like, you can't sue for like a wrongful death. Right, right. Right, exactly. And then there's, there's like a medical, wrongful death is one of it, but there's a medical term in the vet space where you cannot sue if the doctor's fucked up, basically. Yeah, you probably sign like some kind of fucking arbitration.

Like you sign like, like you're, there's no, there's no recourse. There's no legal recourse. Yeah, that's crazy. Well, that's shitty, man. See, even more reasons to hate vets. There are some good ones, but it's not 50-50. It's not even close. I want to be very clear on this.

I think being a vet's a very noble profession. It's something that that was when, when I wasn't sure what I was going to do going through school is getting a biology degree, I thought I'd probably become a vet. Because I think it's a great profession. I don't want people to take this the wrong way. Just be a good one. Be a nice person. Or just be honest or whatever. And that's not the point.

We're talking about horror stories here. But I think it's a great profession, very noble profession. I adore my dog, my last dog, everything. If it wasn't for vets, my last dog... But he doesn't give a shit about cats. No, I don't. But that's besides the point. I don't want this to come off the wrong way. If you're going to be a vet, don't go into it for the money.

I seriously think, like, if you're just going to catch me if you can, fat. Just be a, just help animals. Yeah, be a fake vet. And help animals. All right, Kyle, what's next on the buzzword game? Let's get going on the buzzword. All right. The next one, first of all, it's one point, everyone. Yes.

Next is coddle, autonomy. Caudill autonomy. Autonomy, Cottle. Man, autonomy, I know, but coddle. So Cottle. Cottlefish? Cottle fish. All right.

So this means that the newborns of this, this behavior is that the newborn animal does not need to be cuddled by its parents. Okay. Okay. No cuddle. Cuddle. I'm going like cauterized. I'm thinking this is something that can stop itself from bleeding through some sort of interesting. Oh, that's a good case.

Oh, that is interesting. I don't think it's right, but... I don't know why I'm like drawing caudal to cloacal, and I should know what coddle is, but I can't think of it for some reason. Probably because I haven't had a magic mind, which I'm going to have now and then win the game. I'm going to say it's when you're like a teenage boy

and you have no control over your penis, and it just gets hard at random. Like when a dog's just hanging out, all of a sudden, Red Rocket. I think that's... I'm going to change my answer and go, No, I'm just kidding. What did that answer?

All right. So I'm actually going to give a half point to Patrick. Yes. Figured. It's kind of close, but not quite there. What is it? It's shedding the tail to escape. Oh, shit.

I knew that. I so knew. That's such an obvious one. Gecko skinks. That's what lizards do. Yeah, but why is it? What's coddle? Like you said, like you like, you caught her eyes.

Interesting. Can you Google that? That's not what coddle is. Isn't it? No. Oh, so take away that half point, by the way. You don't get to tell him. I was just,

I was just giving them a suggestion. Of or like a tail. Okay. So it literally means a tail. So the Red Rocket thing also gets half a point because it's kind of like a tail point. Yeah, I didn't have a point too for no fucking reason. If there's not a judge. What's next?

We're going down to point five. One fourth point for Pellon. Okay. One and a quarter points. What was that? Whose line is it out anyway? Remember that? Like, points don't matter. Still on the air.

No, it's not. Yes, it is. With Wayne Brady? He's not on it, I don't think. It's hosted by someone else. Aisha. Oh, yeah. Aisha Tyler.

You would know that. You, that's like so. I still watch it once in a while. Yeah, you would. Oh, yeah, it was Drew Carey. Remember the guys, Drew Carey, Wayne Brady, the tall skinny guy? What was it? Ryan Stiles.

He's still on. Is he really? Yep. Dude, that guy's just had a very unfunny. Yeah. But that guy has just had a steady job of doing the same skits. Yeah. For what, 35 years?

Yeah. But just like an unfuny, smug, boring demeanor. The thing is too, like, you know, well, I don't want to get on a whole thing again, but he's, he's mailing it in. Like, nobody can do something 30 years the same thing and still, like, be creatively satisfied. Think how much fake laughing he's done in his life. Oh, my God. He's done more fake laughing than anyone we've ever been. Kind of like me on this podcast.

Oh, mean. All right. So the next one is dermatophagy. Dermatophagy. You're going to get canceled. Dermotaphagy, I think, might be there. Dermotap. Nope.

I don't know. So what is phagy? Can you give me what phagy means? I don't think you can say that out loud. You should not. What is it mean in scientific terms? Just give me a little. No, I don't know.

I have no idea. I know, like I've heard. I mean, we all know what derma is. It's skin. Skin. Tophagi. Tophagi. Reminds me of a sweet treat.

It sounds delicious. Yeah. All right. I'll go with, this is when you, okay, let's just say you, this is when an animal sheds its skin. I was going there. I was going to go snake. Snake.

It's too obvious. I'm just going to go with the obvious one, yeah. Which is shedding skin. Okay, so you're both going for that. I'm going to throw a Hail Mary here because I would have guessed the same thing. I'm going to say dermatophagy is when an animal like a cuttlefish can change the color of its skin. Nope. Nobody? None of us, no.

You guys were actually on the right track. So this is when an animal eats its own skin. Ah, shit, I knew that too. Pofagi must be like eating. Why do they do that? for nutrients. Oh. Our nudes do that, Kyle.

You know those nutes we got? Have you seen yours do that yet? I've not seen it, no. Dude. Yeah, I think I have a video of this. You guys bought newts together? Well, I invited you guys too. We went to that pet fair thing.

Oh, yeah. And don't ask me why, but Kyle and I each got two nudes. And the only affordable thing. Dude, I got home. I think I have a video. I'll send it to Kyle while we chat. I got home and immediately I was like, oh, this guy doesn't look healthy. And he just started shedding his skin.

And then I came back and he was eating it. I, dude, I heard, I heard the craziest thing recently. You know that lobsters would live forever except for. Why are you struggling to speak? Except for, I had a light strike. No, but so they would, they're basically immortal, except they get so big and to the point where that they can't molt their shell off or their, you know, their exterior off. And so they just give up and die.

They don't have enough energy. Is that true? I swear to God, to molt because it gets so big. And then they just die. But if it wasn't for that, they have something that regenerates their telemores, you know, which are the things that are responsible for cell death and aging. And it's wild. I just saw this the other day.

But lobsters would live forever. I did not know that. So it's just a matter of energy output to be able to shed. They just get, yeah, they just give up. They're, they get too big to be able to... They're quitters. They're quitters. So we shouldn't feel bad when we eat them.

Can you also look up real quick? Just how long do lobsters live for? It says over 100 years. Holy shit. So we should feel bad, though. You know that like, absolutely. The oldest was 140. Do you know that that's probably the thing that boosted me to fame more than anything,

way more than naked and afraid or anything else? Lobsters? You don't know about this? No. Shut up. Kyle. You'll make it something up here. No, I swear to God.

Kyle, this is how stupid I was. I love how it on your testicle. I said he said he's famous. This is how you and I, yeah, I did. This is how you and I became friends, just so you know. Type in Forrest Galante, lobster. Now wait for it, Albert Gerther. What?

That's what I named him. Oh, my God. Yep, there you go. You found a giant lobster? Oh, that's not helpful. Just take out the Albert Gerther. Oh, there you go. He also put mobster instead of lobster.

Oh, that's why. Forrest Galante mobster. That is a massive lobster. Coruscolante. There's somewhere in here... Where is that? Is this Irish mirror? I mean, you can go to that one.

It got syndicated by everything. But it started... Actually, sorry, real quick, Kyle. See if you can find the Daily Mail one. How do we not know this, by the way? I've seen this picture. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I think I've seen it. Man, there's a great little video and it's worth a watch. Just, okay, take mobster out because that doesn't make any sense. Put lobster in. And then let's see what comes. up there and go to videos real quick. There we go. I caught a giant lobster. Just go to that one,

right there, top one. So I made this little video, and this is how bad our production quality was. So we went diving. It's all right. You don't need to run the audio, but I'm super fired up because I just caught the largest lobster of my life. Right? We're out of the Channel Islands. I'm diving in a near lobster season opener. Yeah. And I'm diving. And I'm on my way back to the boat, nearly with a limit of lobster. And I catch this freaking mama jama. Oh, my shit. How many pounds is that lobster? It was 12 pounds. Wow. Same as Charlie, my dog.

Yes, exactly. So I caught this lobster and I'm freaking out. And we, this is pre like, it's like iPhone one day. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. So I'm like, guys, film me, film me. And I didn't make videos or anything back then. This was pre that like era of content creation. But I was like, this is so unique.

So I filmed this little clip of me being like, check out this lobster. It's the biggest one I've ever seen. Blah, blah, blah. Get back home. Yeah, you can literally see the iPhone one as somebody's scrolling. over there. And I get back home, skip forward in the video. And he's hugging you.

Lobster's hugging you. He's so big, he can hold my chest. But I get home, you know, lobster diving. That's the worst picture I've ever seen of you. Oh, they're all bad. Go back, Kyle, go back a little bit. So I get home is this big. So what you do, just pause for one second. I want to tell the story. So first of all, I catch this giant lobster.

I'm super proud. I take this little video clip. Then in the morning, I like, wake, like, wait, Jess up. I go get my mom, everybody. And I'm like, check it out. check it out. I caught this huge lobster. And it's still alive because in order to store lobster, you don't want them, as soon as a lobster diet starts to basically rot. Right. So you don't want them to die. So you keep them alive. You put seaweed in the cooler to keep them alive. And as long as it's not hot out, they stay alive. So, you know, I got back at like one, two in the

morning. Keeps them cool? Just keep some wet and cool and, you know, like allows them to breathe a little bit kind of thing. Um, lobster can spend a lot of time out of the water without asphyxating. And anyway, so I wake, you know, I wake up like four hours later and the lobster's still alive. So press play real quick. So I start taking all these photos with this lobster, again, because I'm so proud because I've never caught such a big lobster. Turns out it was one of like the state records. Pause there for a second. It was like a state record or one of the largest lobster ever caught. And I'm sitting here looking at this and I've got like, you know, six, I think the limit was seven then, six lobster that are like a pound and this one that's 12 pounds. And I'm like,

I don't want to kill this thing. You know, as a biologist, I'm like, I know he's older than me. I know he's like a specimen. Fuck, I should have let him go. So I really, race down to the Taiwan or sea center, which is our little tiny aquarium at the end of the Santa Barbara pier. And I go, hey, I've got this, this lobster, do you want it? And they're like, no, you know, we get lobster fishermen. I ask us all the time. We don't want a lobster. I was like, all right, are you sure? You want to look at it? And they're like, all right, let us see. And I open the cool. And they're like, holy shit. Yes, we'll take them. So they throw him in this fish tank. Hit play again, Kyle. They throw him in this fish tank. And everybody's like, you know,

I don't know if he's going to make it. You know, he's been out of water for a half a day. I'm like, yeah, I don't know either. Let's see. A pause. for a second there. He ends up living at the Taiwan Sea Center for like a month until the weather's good again and I call him up and I'm like, hey, he's still got my lobster. I visited him like two or three times. They're like, yeah, he's happy, he's

feeding, he's mulled, he's chasing the females around like, he's awesome. And I'm like, fuck yeah. And a month later I call him up, I'm like, hey, I want to free him. And they're like, sure, come and come and pick him up. Yeah. So I go and scoop him from the Taiwan or Sea Center, take my boat out to the heart of the largest marine reserve on Santa Cruz Island where I know nobody

he can ever get him again. Yeah, yeah. And press play, Kyle. And so I take him and I take, again, this is like GoPro's an iPhone one. Yeah. And I take my, uh, my little GoPro. Like, look at the size of him in the cooler. He doesn't fit in the cooler.

I mean, his tail is tucked under. He's still as big as a cool. I know. So I grab him and I just dive down in the middle of this Marine Reserve and I let him go in a cave that I find to live out the rest of his life and make many babies. So I make this little shitty video. Yeah. Literally it's like pictures for a high.

half of it and stuff, never have any video of me visiting him in the aquarium or anything. And I put this little video out and it goes literally, I put it on Facebook videos. Yeah. Goes gangbusters. The Daily Mail calls me. It gets syndicated. It goes in like 150 news stories. Wow.

Local man rescues giant lobster, you know, headline all over. Yeah. And this was the thing. This was, and it was somewhat coincidental because this all happened maybe six months after I got done doing naked and afraid. Oh, okay. But look how beautiful it was. Oh, my God.

That's like wonderful footage for iPhone bullshit. Yeah, well, this is a GoPro on my head, I think. Right, right. And this was like the biggest thing that I ever did. It's crazy. Like, this was what, this was like, what was his name? Alan Moore contacted me because of this video. No way.

Yeah. Oh, is Alan Moore? He's Patrick's agent that put us in touch many, many years ago. Wow. Interesting. And there he is, big old lobster heading back into a cave. I mean, see, this is like back in the, go ahead. It's funny because it's so big that as a.

I was looking at it before we got to the end of the story, which I didn't know, I was like, I feel like I would have trouble eating him. That's the thing. I couldn't do it. It feels weird. It feels, yeah, something's just off. And what's really interesting is this spot and I'll never, I'll die with knowing where the spot is before I take anybody other than my two friends who I first caught Albert with.

I've been back to, Albert was the biggest one. He was 12, I think 12, 12.9 pounds or something like that. Damn. It was huge. Yeah. I caught one that was like half a pound smaller than him a year later. same spot and re-released it. I caught one like two years late after that

that was like 10.5 pounds. Over there? All in this one, not here. This is the middle of a Marine Reserve, but all where I originally caught Albert. So there's just some huge lobster in this one tiny little area that I found on one of the Channel Islands. That's crazy. Luckily, I don't think anyone else has discovered it.

Have you gone back to try to find Albert again? Never, no. Why not? I don't know. He's probably sitting in that same cave. I mean, you've got a YouTube channel. Why not just do it? Dude, that's actually not a bad idea. Yeah. To revisit it. Like you start the, you start by telling this story.

Yeah. And then go and look for him. What was the inspiration behind the name? Albert Gerther. Because I was dumb and I was young. And Albert was a nickname for a penis. Was a nickname for a penis. And it's Arnold Schwarzenegger's little brother.

Okay. And I was like, this is a jack lobster. Let's call him Albert. I think that's clever. And then I called him Gerther because he was so girther. Yeah. Real quick, before we get to the next beastly buzzword, Kyle, what's the biggest lobster ever ever on record?

Oh, there's like 20-something pound. The East Coast lobster? Yeah. There's like 20-something pounders. Okay. 44 pounds. Look at that. Holy shit.

That's that's... That looks the same size as Albert. That one's half the size of Albert Gerther, and that's a California spiny lobster. But see if there's a... Holy shit. That's a big lobster. I don't think that's any bigger than Albert was, though. Those are the big ones.

See, because you get all that weight in those claws. Oh, my goodness. I'll see if I can find... They should leave those motherfuckers alone, dude. No, they should. What was the record? 44 pounds. That's absurd.

It's absurd. And it shows you because these animals live so long, you know, it really shows you what we're able to do. Like, we have made it so that lobsters are smaller now. You know what I mean? Because we've caught so many. We've wiped out those genetics. So anytime, this is for any diver out there, fishermen out there.

And people argue, they're like, oh, the big ones are old anyway. you should take them. They've already bred. Fuck that. Like, I don't care who you are if you're listening to this. My Spiro friends, they'll get mad at me. I don't care. If you catch a lobster over 10 pounds, let it go. Let those genetics live on. They're primary breeders.

They're important animals. Just let it go. Dude, you sent a video to the group chat of Friend of the Pod. Andrew Euckel's getting snatched by a crap. Did we ever play that? That was so funny. I don't think so. Do you have it, Kyle?

But I joked back because we like Eukles. He's a goof. That's for sure. But he's playing with. What is it? It's some kind of Australian crab. It's a mud crab. Mud crab. Which are the worst.

Like, they're one of the strongest. Because of the smell and a vapor of vinegar that it gives off. Well, that's the thing. Oh, and pause it for a second. Just one second. He goes, if I put vinegar on my hands, it won't pinch me or something like that. And then he does that. He puts vinegar on his hands.

Pores vinegar all over his hands. Press play. To the crabs and they won't. But watch. I promise you that hurt like hell It pinches him instantly Quick little crab lobster You should look up the pinch force

If that's a thing Of a mud crab Oh you did Yeah So I went down a wormhole about Because he reacts as if it hurts a lot Yeah he screamed like the girl Yeah it clearly really hurts

And it doesn't hurt a lot? No it does But then I was like I joked in the chat I said you know Would have been spice if it was a coconut crab Well, that would have broken, taken his arm off. And so it's like, it's not even in the same realm as a coconut crab.

It's like 25, 30 times less. So then I was looking up, I went down this wormhole, like, has anyone ever, like, had their arm snapped in half by a coconut crab? And I came across this video and it's this family. See if you can find coconut crabs invade campsite. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Wait till you see this. This is a scene out of a horror movie.

Oh my gosh, sounds terrifying. Oh, my God. It's a little kid. Oh, I love that. There's video of it. But look at the one, go back a couple, the next picture. There's video of just thousands of coconut crabs. Oh, wow.

All over their camps. This must be Australia? Where is this? I believe it was Australia. They were camping on this little island that they go camping on. And they lit up the ground. grill. And as soon as they threw some food on the grill, they smelled it and came over. Thousands of coconut crabs came in. Oh, was it Christmas Island? Is that what it said? Yeah.

Oh, so Christmas Island is the same place they get the crazy red crab migrations. Have we ever talked about that? I don't think so. This is a bucket lister for me. But dude, there's like these these crabs could take your foot off. Yeah. And they're just, everyone just kind of has their feet up. Just like, I hope I don't get pinched. Kids are just walking around. Kids petting the crab. I love it. I think it's so cool. Goodness. Would you let your son pet a coconut I have in Vanuatu?

I let him do exactly that. But not like when there's 15. No, I mean, it's crazy. I get your point. I just think it's so cool. But it shows you like, they're not here to harm you or do anything. I mean, here's what I would do.

I would let a kid that age, which is probably similar to my son's age, pet a crab because he knows not to stick his finger in the claws or whatever. The baby would literally lose his finger. Yes. Or his hand or something. Ooh, nice pallidarium you found there, Kyle. Let's hear about those crab migrations.

Go to Christmas Island crab migration. So it's kind of a sad story, but a really cool story. So Christmas Island has this red crab crawl every year where millions, yeah, play that. Millions and millions of red crabs, these beautiful bright red crabs migrate from the sea to lay their eggs like you're seeing there up into the jungle. And humans, of course, doing what we do. We fucked everything up. We came there to the island and we brought rats with us. And the rats have started to destroy the red crab population.

But this is what the roads look like. So now they've made cars that have like scrapers that push the, push the crabs aside and stuff. But this is like, for me, this is a dream. It's something, look at where Christmas Island is. It's something that I would just love to go and see this red crab migration. Yeah, it'd be super cool. So just thousands of crabs and this happens every year? Yeah, millions.

Millions of crabs. Millions. Yeah. And they close the roads and stuff. They're trying to do a good job. This is really interesting, though. You'll see some of the photos are incredible. But does Christmas Island is owned by Australia?

I think so. It's nowhere near Australia. Where is it? Look at where that map was. It's literally in Indonesia. Dead air. But no, but pull that out. I'm just staring at fucking four billion crabs.

Look at this. That's where Christmas Island is. Yeah. So is that, it's an Australian colony? I mean, it must be. Oh, no. Crab on crab violence. Yeah, it's crazy. Look at it. They're just everywhere. Yeah. You ever got pinched by a crab?

Oh, yeah. Plenty of times. My son insists on catching the little green crabs every single time we go to the beach and I'm getting... What about like a standard blue crab? Like, how much would it hurt if like, let's say, an Alaskan king crab snatched your finger? Not that much. Really? No, I mean, it hurts. It would give you a bad pinch, but it's not that bad. Didn't I tell the story of how my baby nearly lost his finger to a staff infection because of a crab? Yes. Yeah, I think so. Was that on Vanuatu also? Yeah.

Yeah, literally. Jessica's like, can you, like, she's like, I've been watching the baby for two weeks. You have not watched the child once. Will you please watch him for 30 minutes and like, I'm going to go shower. Weaponized incompetence. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, of course, sweetie. Like, go take a shower.

I put the baby down. He walks straight over to a hermit crab, tried to pick it up. and it pinched a huge chunk of his finger and sliced it because he has little tiny baby fingers. Oh, poor guy. Two days later turned into a staff infection, full fever, all the...

You are a horrible parent. Jessica got a minute and a half before she then had to spend an hour consolidating... consoling the baby as opposed to getting a 30-minute break. Yeah, yeah. It's good.

Let's do one more. Let's make this worth three and three-quarters points, Kyle. Yes, correct. All right. Yep. For all the marbles. Pick a good one.

Yeah. Let's go with Intra Guild predation. Okay. I think I know what that is. So this is, you know, like Dungeons and Dragons. They have guilds. Yes. Intra means like it's inside of these guilds.

So like within the guild itself, we'll say that this means that within a group of something. So let's say a pack of wolves, for example. I don't know if this behavior would take place in wolves, but let's say in a pack of wolves, they, they're predators to one another. Okay. Yeah, I mean, that makes sense.

Do you know what this is for us? No. I think that makes sense. It seems obvious that it would be, yeah, something within a herd or a pack. Right. predating on another member of the herd or pet. Exactly.

So it has to be that. That's the guess all around. What? Oh, wait. Can I make one other guess then? No. No, I will put no. For no points, can I just try and be smart then?

Okay. I definitely thought it was within a pack. There's predation or a group or whatever. My second guess is intrigal predation is when there are two fetuses in the womb and one eats the other. Oh. Sorry, I was hoping for that thing. So what it is is eating competing predators. Oh, okay.

So like, all right. such as lion, spiders, animals. So a wolf eats another wolf. It doesn't need to be in its pack. It's not necessarily killing it for food. It just kills it and eats it because it is available food and it's killed it out of competition. Okay. Let me ask you this, though.

Do we need to name that? No. That's the problem. I am a, and this is going to sound very arrogant, world-renowned biologist, air quotes. Yes. I don't know any of these because we don't need. They're not things that come up in conversation. Right.

There's no symposium where, well, there is, sadly, but. Right. Where they're like, yes, well, the integral production of the Wolfpack. They're just like, no, you know when that one killed the other one and then ate it? It's like, yep, got it. Moving on. Got it. Yeah.

Look, this has been fun. We all are showing off our disgusting, pasty legs. This is just for you. This is for the people. It is for you. I've got great legs. This is for the three inch in seems, baby. All terrible.

You got three inches on? Nah, they're five. Yeah, I got fives too. Good night, everybody. Good night. Make sure you go to wild times. Dot Club forward slash info. We do six podcasts a month, four of our bonus pods.

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