Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Extinct Javan Tiger Rediscovered in Indonesia - The Wild Times Ep. 142

Episode Date: April 15, 2024

We discuss the recent rediscovery of the extinct animal, the Javan tiger, in indonesia, also a fatal mountain lion attack in California, and a massive cicada bloom happening in 2024. LMNT: Receive a free LMNT Sample Pack with any drink mix order DrinkLMNT.com/WildTimes DUER: Get 20% off now! https://shopduer.com/wild Magic Mind: https://www.magicmind.com/forrest FORREST gets you up to 56% off your first subscription for the next 10 days. 🎧 Exclusive Ad-Free Podcasts on Spotify 🎧 Subscribe for more: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh... 💖 Join Our Patreon Community 💖 Unlock exclusive perks: https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod/ 🔊 Listen to Our Show on Spotify 🔊 Explore our episodes: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cbFBzf... 📡 Subscribe via RSS 📡 Add us to your podcatcher: https://anchor.fm/s/aee18224/podcast/rss 📸 Follow Us on Instagram 📸 For awesome animal facts and videos: http://instagram.com/wildtimespod 💬 Join the Conversation on Discord 💬 Connect with fellow nature lovers: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9Db 👕 Shop Our Exclusive Merchandise 👕 Wear your passion: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Enjoy, brosteners! TWT 142 - The Breakdown 00:00 - Intro 02:22 - Javan Tiger No Longer Extinct 08:45 - The Island of Java 13:52 - How Javan Tiger Will Effect Indonesia 16:00 - Indonesia for Travel 18:00 - California Mountain Lion Attack 19:58 - Forrest Had a Mountain Lion in His Backyard 21:42 - Animals That Hunt You 29:30 - Foot Binding 31:30 - Most Annoying Things To Deal with On Adventures 34:40 - Future Beauty Trends 40:52 - Geology Moment with Patrick 45:25 - Battle Royale 53:27 - Massive Cicada Season Jingles made by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-tire/ #wildtimespod #podcast

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Boopoo doop. It is catchy. Oh, I thought you were going to add a sound. We both did a sound. Boopo do. He did that sound. All right, here we go. It's a wild times.

What's up, everybody? How are we doing? Cheers. Welcome back. I'm drinking coffee first. I'm drinking coffee first. I'm not too early in the day. I'm going to finish my coffee.

I got a detox and then retox. Okay. I like that you think coffee is detoxing you. Shut up. adding a touch. Shut up. I need multiple stimulants. Coffee's good for you, mate. It's good for your health. All right. So this is the Wild Times. It's good to see you guys. I'm your host, Forrest Galante, the brerologist joining me on my right. Papa P himself. He's getting old. He's stiff. He can barely pull that knee up these days. He is the producer. How are you,

Pat? I'm sore as shit. I did a postnatal workout with my wife on this YouTube channel that does literally does workouts for women who just had babies. And you did the workout? I sure did. And you're in pain. The parts of my ass that I didn't know existed hurt. Yeah. I feel like an old man.

I'm waddling. And it occurred to me because I've been out in public. It's been two days now that I've been hurting like this. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, these people don't know that I'm sore. Correct. Yeah. I know it.

No clue. Yeah. So they just think I'm an idiot. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you already have a naturally funny. Gates. Speaking of funny Gates, on the far, right? We have the one and only PhD in podcasting. Mr. Retap. What's up, Peter? Doing well, man. Happy to be here. Happy to see you guys. Yeah.

I'm excited to talk to you, Forrest. I know you've been adventuring out there in the wild, and I've been sitting behind a desk for the past several months. That's not as fun. All right. Well, before we get into the shenanigans, you guys want to, I got some breaking news. I want to. Oh, yeah. Can we do, can we do it, Cal? Can we do the thing? What's in the news? Sir, news from the underground. Okay. All right, here we go. I'm excited.

I can tell you. You're punching your chair. Yeah, I am. Do you know why I'm so excited? Go ahead. Because the news that I'm about to share is news around a species that we worked on on Extincter Alive.

Oh, nice. Way back when, season one. Did they find a second for an Indiana Island tortoise after the volcano? You think they're going to find it without us? You think they're going to find it without us? without us? No. They didn't find it for 114 years.

We showed up for four days. They haven't found one since. What are we got? Just saying. All right. So check this out. In 2019, we went on a lot of expeditions looking for a lot of very interesting animals, one of which was at the top of my heart and the top of my interest level

for still being out there. And the reason being lived on a really big island that was super jungly, very remote. There had been reported sightings. We met up with a man named Didick, who believed he had seen them in. self and the animal that we went searching for that I thought we maybe got a thermal image of was the Javan tiger. Remember this? Absolutely. So tell me about the Javan tiger. Is it a huge tiger?

It's big. You know, so like all of the tigers in Indonesia, there was the fucking the bobblehead, dude. I'm going to just flip that whole table over. It's okay. It's just bats bubble. So there was the Balinese tiger, which was a tiger that lived on Bali. Obviously, Bali is where drunk Australians go to get naked and have sex now. So there's no more Bali tiger. You know, there was, but on the neighboring island of Java, much larger, much more jungly, much more wild island with the Javan tiger, right?

So all these subspecies of tiger. Anyway, the last one was officially seen in 1976. Oh, damn. Long time ago, right? 50 years ago? 50, yeah. 50-ish. 48, if you like math.

Pat's math. 1976 was the last time was officially seen. Yeah, sure. There have been, you know, just like everything, a reported siding here and a reported signing there, blah, blah, blah. We went there. It was declared extinct in 2013, I believe. Okay. That's when they gave up.

They gave up. They're like, it's gone. It hasn't been seen since 1976. Right. And so, we went there in 2019, okay? When did this survey? Kyle can maybe add a clip in later, but got this cool thermal drone image where I was like, that might have been a tiger. Like, there was a big animal we were chasing around that didn't let us get very close.

Shortly after our visit, very, very shortly, with Didick and the same people, I believe, that we were talking about, there was a sighting reported of a Javan tiger coming into a village and killing some livestock. Okay. When this happened, there was a barbed wire fence that kept the livestock in around the village and a single hair was found on that fence. Now, that means nothing, right? That could be a sheep. It could be, well, there's no llamas in Indonesia. It could be a llama. It could be a cow.

It could be a cow. It could be a chick's hair. Like, whatever, right? Yeah. But a single orange-colored hair was found on this fence. Orange isn't common. True. So through genetic testing and comparison with other subspecies of Sumatran tiger, they figured out, they could have been a Javan leopard, whatever, right?

But anyway, long story short, they just announced that they finished analyzing that hair. And sure enough, there is one extent Javan tiger on the island. at least one. That's crazy. The animal that left the hair, it was a tiger. So there you go. 54, what'd you say? Years later.

48. 48 years later, there is still at least one Java and tiger roaming around the island. So it took five years for the hair analysis? Dude, don't even get me going on that. Why? Java doesn't have any money for science. It's not that. It's the bureaucracy and like, this is confidential, but yeah, I can't talk about it.

I'm currently... Great pod right there. Maybe on the bonus pot. Yeah, maybe. That's where I can talk about it. But I'm getting into a whole deep dive on this, but the bureaucracy of science and the fact that this probably circled and they probably took the hair and within six weeks had an answer. And for four years and 11 months sat around talking about how to announce it and publish it and what to do,

which is four years and 11 months of wasted time that they could have been actively trying to locate and save this. animal, right? And that is, like, I'm, I'm just, I can't get into why I'm so fed up with it right now, because they'll probably sue me if I do, but like, I'm so up to here with that exact wildlife bureaucracy. Is it, okay, is it possible that they didn't want to announce it until they had a plan in place to protect the tiger? Because once they go, this is the rarest animal in the world, wouldn't suddenly, like, poachers be like, oh, I'm going to get a lot of money for that thing's head. I mean, that's always the thought. I don't think a lot of people are out targeting the one and only tiger.

But yes, sure. Let's say yes, that is the case. And I support everything you just said. Does it take five years to come up with that plan? Definitely not. I imagine it takes about two hours of sitting in a room going, how do we do this? Okay, here's how I think we manage this. Now, how do we implement this?

There's no protections in place. There's no, nothing has changed legally or legislatively to protect this individual animal. It just took five years to announce it. Yeah, that's crazy. It's driving me nuts because that's five years of an animal. Kyle, just do a quick Google search for me. How long do tigers live? I think it's like in the wild like 18-ish years.

I literally was going to say 18. 10 to 15. Okay? So you've now wasted a third. A third at the least of this animal's life talking and thinking about it. Right. Yeah. So that's driving me fucking nuts.

And it's across very, very many genre, not just of this wildlife. sciences, but, you know, throughout everything. Yeah. And it's just like the just go get shit done thing is not happening anymore in this field. And it's really, really, really frustrating because these animals likely, if it's still alive, which it may or may not be, because who knows how old it was when it left that hair. Yeah. We've now wasted five years not protecting it.

Would they be able to tell any more information from the hair, like how old it actually is or things of that nature? No. Nothing? I don't believe so. I don't think a single hair would have enough. Yeah. You need muscle and other.

tissue, but from the hair, what you can do is check the DNA and go, okay, it's a DNA match. So I didn't get to go on this, I wasn't on this shoot. Sadly. Full disclosure. I didn't go. I'd like to pretend I did. I learned a lot. So Java is massive, right?

It's like one of the, is it one of the biggest islands in the world? I think it's one of the top 10. That sounds right. I mean, it's a huge, you know, it's composed of like five states. There's like East Java, West Java, some central Java. It's like, friggin. It's gargantial. But also, here's a thing that isn't, like, regularly understood.

Like, you're like, oh, cat on an island. How hard can it be? First of all, Java has, like, Google a population. I think it's, like, one of the most densely populated islands in the world. Wow. Yep. Let's see if Kyle gets a number here. 145 million people live there in 2015.

That's wild. That's like 60% of the population of the entire U.S. live on this island. Yeah, it's wild. And this is where it's like if you don't go get boots on the ground, you're, the common person to study this, right?

The world leading expert who's never seen a Java tiger would read this, go there's 145 million, they hunted them all out 50 years ago, they're gone. 145 million people, they hunt them all out, they're gone. What you don't understand until you get boots on the ground in Java

is outside of four, three or four spots, like coastal cities, there's nothingness. Right. Nothingness. I mean, it is so dense the jungle and so mountainous in the center of the island. It's like anything could hide there.

I absolutely, I mean, obviously I believe there's a tiger there. I wouldn't have gone on an expedition for it. Like, I absolutely believe that the tiger could survive there. And we saw a lot of game, like big deer, monkeys, like all kinds of stuff. Like, I know there's a lot of animals there still, even with the poaching and bushmeat and everything else that goes on. So I totally believe the job. and Tiger was still out there and now at there at least was one in 2019. Proof.

Yeah. Proof is out there. Yeah. So I love the story. Got me very excited. Jakarta is in Java, right? Isn't that on the island of Java? Indonesia.

No. Jakarta is... Okay. Where is Jakarta? Jakarta is... Well, this is all Indonesia we're talking about. I'm bad with geography. I love it and I'm fascinated by it, but I'm terrible.

Seminiak or Semin-Rang or something like that is Java. That's the city we flew into. Okay. It's gnarly, dude. Like we, Semarang. Semarang, yeah,

that's it. When we went there, like, where we went to look for the tiger was nearest to the most recent sightings, right? We stayed, I've made a lot of jokes about this,

and of course it never got, so it never got aired, but we went to some little village, and in that village we did a homestay, which meant we just stayed in a couple Indonesian people's houses. There's no beds, so you're sleeping on a grass mat on the floor.

The toilet, there's no plumbing, so the toilet's just a hole in the ground, which, is not very clean around it. At least it's not a bucket next to your head. It's, it's 105 degrees with 100% humidity.

There's the, the Muslim call to prayer going on three times a day, which, five times a day. So, you know, you're, like, finally falling asleep at like 3.34 a.m. when it's finally cooled down enough. And you're just caked and sweat.

You're glued to the bed sheets. They're on a bedsheets. You're sleeping on a grass mat. And then, and then it's, you know, it's 3 a.m. It's, oh, no, but no. Like in the window. this blown out speaker. It's, dude, it's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy.

Man, what a culture shock. That must be. Very, very, very. Is that like one of the, because you've been through a lot of tough stuff, but I feel like you're better at, this would be very bad for you because it's human induced, rather than like nature induced stuff to go through.

So I hated that part of it, and I mean no disrespect to the Indonesian people whose house we rented and everything. I just hated it. It was like dirty. There was no plumbing. There was no electricity. it was boiling hot. It was just gnarly living conditions.

Yeah. And really, really, really dirty. Like you walk around salmon, not seminiac, whatever that town was. Semarang. Semarang. People are just pooping on the street. Like, it's gnarly. That's tough.

Because that's stinky. It's gross. And then you leave, you travel by, as we did, motorized canoe for two or three hours and get out on this immaculate beach that's so white and so beautiful with this dense green backdrop of jungle behind you. Yeah. And the difference between sleeping in, you know, we're literally two hours away, like just down the coast. The difference between sleeping in the gross house with the shit hole, like, floor, you know, toilet and the call to prayer and the terrible weather.

And then you just go two hours away and sleep on this white sand beach on a mat. And it's just like there's a little breeze and you're listening to the ocean instead of that blown out terrible speaker. And like, it's just like the whole, it's like two different worlds. Yeah. It doesn't matter like how much outdoor stuff you do and how good of a survival. rivalist you are and like blah blah blah how tough you are hot humid sleeping

is like I feel like the thing that unifies all of us yeah it's there's no sleep you just don't get sleep you just sit there lying sweating and you're just like I'm too miserable to get up I'm too miserable to go to sleep so what do you what do you think uh as far as for the animal kingdom for conservation everything is this a good thing for that area will this draw tourists there

Will this draw scientists there? Will this give them money or anything like that? You guys know that I've been coached in high school rugby. You talk about it constantly. Oh, you haven't? Just making sure. Making sure. Well, I just wanted you to know that we're number one in the league.

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How many discounts will you stack up? Tap the banner or visit usa.com slash auto discounts. Restrictions apply. Doer. I have a feeling it'll do absolutely nothing, kind of like us finding the Zanzibar leopard. It's like, we found the leopard where like, this is a big deal. And they're like, yeah, cool.

We have a two square mile national park. You can live there. It's like, well, I guess. But, uh, you know. It's also because it's a subspecies, right? Right. And I think people get less excited about, oh, you know, this subspecies of tiger still exists. Yeah.

If we said all tigers in the world are gone, here's what they looked like. And then someone's like, here's a tiger. Yeah, yeah. Then it's more of a Jurassic Park kind of thing. Like, I want to go see the tiger. Truthfully, if you took Sumatran tigers from Sumatra and dumped them in Java, they'd probably adapt and do just fine and serve the same ecological niche and roll, right? Like, they wouldn't be a Java and Tiger.

I'm not saying that, but they'd fill in the gaps that the Javan tiger did. So the subspecies of the Javan tiger, meaning that tiger that was on that island that had been geographically isolated from the Bolognese and the Sumatra, blah, blah, blah. It's awesome. Like, you could tell how excited I was by the news, but it doesn't, save the species, so to speak, you know? Yeah. But it's still very substantial.

It's a big island and the tiger was there long before people were like, it should be protected. Yeah. It's, it just sort of raises the question how. Yeah. There's so much wild space. So many people. There's no, I don't believe. I'd have to double check where this took place, but it's certainly not a national park.

It's in a village where they found the hair. Yeah. You know, like there's so many people. There's so much wild space. There's so much rampant poaching already. But the good news is highly, highly, highly unlikely. anybody's going to go target the one tiger. Well, that's good news.

It's just like, why would they, right? You're not going to find the one tiger. You're not going to try and poach it. The people that are hunting in Indonesia are hunting for bushmeat. They don't want tiger. They want deer. Right. You know, so it's not, it's, I'm not saying it couldn't happen because anything can happen

and people are awful creatures, but it's just, it's not like something that I imagine is going to create a big spark one way or the other for hunters and poaching or for conservation and saving it. It's just nice to know that maybe if left alone, the species could slowly bounce back. Would you recommend people try to go visit Java for like a vacation? I would recommend people go to Indonesia in general no matter what. I think I fucking love Indonesia. It's dirty, gross, weird, the food's crazy, like everything.

No, but stay with me now. It's also, I mean, it's on the Wallace line, which, I know BTG has talked about with us before. It's got this some of them. It's where all of the Asian-Australian animals meet. So you have this crazy mixing of the weirdest creatures in the world. There's a thousand-plus islands. They're stunning.

Each island has its own unique animals. The beaches are incredible. The water is incredible. The people are lovely. The weird food is great if you can embrace it. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, you're going to eat a lot of fried rice and fried noodles, but it's delicious.

I mean, it's just, you know, like that doesn't look. real. The sky islands in Avatar, I believe, it might be China, actually, but I think they're based on some area like the mushroom islands in Indonesia. Nice. You know, it's just, it's an incredible country. Like, it's so crazy and beautiful and it's an amazing country. So yes, my short answer is I would absolutely is, I wouldn't say I had the greatest like accommodation experiences in Java, but as far as like, should you go to Java or Sumatra or those places, just go to Indiana. It's incredible. I'll tell you a little secret.

Look at it. We spent most of the accommodations budget on the shoots that I went on. Yeah, that's definitely true. And then on the ones that I wasn't on, they slept on grass mats. I sure did. And knowing that now, I would have punched you, but in the time. That was not how it was calculated. No, I know, I know.

There was just nothing there. There weren't hotels where we went. And that was, you know, a lot of the times we slept in tents and hammocks. So speaking of big cats, dude, something happened. Use a big cat In our neck of the woods And it's a pretty rare event Did you guys hear about the

Mountain Line attack? I was in Colorado And I You know, I'd get like 20 minutes of service each day Yeah And I saw that someone put that on our WhatsApp chat And I was like ooh

I'm gonna save this and read it later Yeah, did you? No I also I also haven't All I know is somebody died That's all I know Yeah I mean an 18 year old And a 21 year old brother

They got separated during this attack and so it was a fatal mountain line attack in California. That's right. In Southern California. First one in many, many years. No, Northern California. I'm sure. Northern California. First fatal mountain line attack in 20 years.

That's right. The reason I know it was Northern California is it's exactly where my buddy Brian Jessup goes mushroom hunting all the time. Really? Those exact patch of woods. Yeah. Wow, man. It's weird because I'm trying to read it, but Kyle is for unclear reasons, just scrolling up and down frantically. Yeah, I don't know what he's doing. doing over there.

There's no way you can go around. I'm going to have a seizure over here. Yeah, so let's see. So an 18 year old and his 21 year old brother were separated during the attack. The older brother was found dead at the scene. The mountain line involved was euthanized

so they found it shortly after the incident. Yeah. So let's see. They were fishing. They were fishing. And then, well, and then so the, the interesting part is that the DNA they recovered from the scene,

that's how they figured out that it matched the one, the mountain line that they had already euthanized. You got a lot of that they just went out and iced the animal and then they're like, let's check if this guy is responsible. Yeah, totally. It was a healthy 90-pound mountain lion. So it wasn't, you know, because a lot of times when these rare events happen, it's because

the animal's been injured. Yeah. Yeah, they've got a jaw problem. Yeah, they're pretty solitary, right? They don't like to come out and be around people. Like you always say, like, you've probably been stalked by a mountain line several times just walking around your neighborhood. Can I use that as a little segue quickly?

Yeah, I would love. All right. Kyle, you get the thing I just texted you? Hold on to it. Hold on. Calm down. Kyle. Jesus Christ. Calm down. Wait, before you segue, are you segueing away from the story? It's adjacent, but you could do your questions first. Because while we're on this, did they, was there any information about, like, was it a female with cut? Like, do we know why this animal that would normally avoid humans decided to attack? Did it eat them? Well, and the fact that they had already, you think?

It's organized it as an interesting point, too, because perhaps it was... They would have known that it was the animal, though. They're territorial, blah, blah, blah. They tracked it down. I don't know if it was collared or what, but it's not that easy to find a lion where they're like, oh, there was a killer. Let's go get them. So there was something there where the information was out.

For sure, yeah. So they don't really know what happened, it seems like. I mean, it's possible. Is it possible that they just freak out and become territorial? Yeah, it could have been defensive. You know, the kid could have popped down right at the things den or startled it or Remember the guy we had on who threw the rocks at the Mount Lion and then we somehow lost all the footage and never released the episode. Did it kill both of these young men?

No, just one of the brothers. The older one. Yeah, the older brother. It's really tragic. That's so tragic. It's really tragic because mountain lions don't want to kill people, just like no animals really want to except the four that we've talked about on the pod. And it paints them in a bad light. And it's tragic.

And of course, it's tragic for the family and the brother and everything else. It's awful. What are the four we've talked about on the pod? Pod. Polar Bear. Okay. Good. Polar bear, a blue ringed octopus. No, I'm just kidding.

Three. There's three, maybe there's a fourth. I'm thinking of three right now. There's three, three animals that actively choose to hunt human as prey. Leopard? Yeah, the leopard, because the Indian guy that went and got that leopard that killed like 140 people, right? Leopard. He was British, but he went to India.

Jim Corbett, yeah. There's a lot to take in. So we have the polar bear, the leopard, and two more. Crocodile? Mm-hmm. Oh, damn, I'm good. And we just talked about the other one. Mountain lion?

Nope. No, I'm just kidding. The first one. The polar bear? Nope. The brown bear. First story we just talked about. Thank you.

Oh, tigers? Yes, tigers. They'll actively hunt people. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. So on to my adjacent story.

Here we go. I can't get comfortable here. The audience is going to hate how much I'm switching legs. Oh, yeah. These chairs are great. How your balls are hurting. Oh, it's your sore buttocks. Problem's me.

Not the chair. Yeah, it's your buttocks. So. What's the animal that I keep having encroachment problems with? Bear. Right. Comes by, kills the chickens constantly, whatnot. Yes.

So on March 9th, 10th, whatever it was, the dates in the video Kyle is going to pull up. Two nights prior, donkey goes nuts. He-ha-ha! Doing all the don't. And I was like, he does. Whoever wrote Winnie to Pooh obviously had a donkey. Because they're fucking miserable, emotional creatures. They're like, oh, I'm sorry.

You know, Eeyore. Remember E.R? Not today. Like, that is donkey. You know, like 100%. So I was like, what the fuck is donkey whining about? Like, he's always whining about something. But usually it's like a feeling sorry for himself wine.

This was like a panicked wine. Yep. I go sprinting up there. This is the middle of the night. I go sprinting up there. And I'm like, donkey, donkey, what's up, buddy? Like flashlight. I'm in my boxers.

Whatever. Don't see anything. Doesn't happen again. Everything's fine. Next night. Jess couldn't get two of the peahens away. We have new peahens. That's just what we needed more fucking peacocks.

Couldn't get them away because they're new. So they ended up high up in the tree iced. Two piles of feathers on the ground. Wow. Now, stay with me. Every time the bear comes, it's like a fucking bear went through there. It's a disaster. The trash cans are over.

The cages are torn apart. There's a head of a chicken over here and a foot of a chicken over. It's just like a big, dumb idiot just came through with a fucking killing machine. right. This was tactical. This was perfect. I was like, what's going on here? So I set up a trail camera right outside my house. Kyle, go ahead, pull this guy up. This is what I was running up and chasing around. Take a peek of this. Oh, my goodness. That's a lot of kitties. That's at my house. Those are my avocado trees that you're looking at. So that's one female adult mountain lion and three juveniles?

Three cubs. Grusin through my yard. They're pretty big, though. Yeah, but I went tearing around in my boxers to go chase these things off. Yeah. Where I'm sure donkey saw the cat and freaked out. Of course. What would have happened had you encountered them? Like what do you think? I probably would have.

You know, off you go, right. And they would have? You know, maybe, hopefully. But honestly, the bigger scare for me is we let roads run around the garden all the, like,

he grabs a flashlight and goes out looking for animals most nights. Naked. Yeah. Yes. He's a wild man. He's completely feral. Yeah. He's going to have the flattest feet dude because he

never wear shoes. I never did either and I have super flat feet. Is that, I feel like that's... It might be an urban legend. I don't know. It's good though. I don't know. But yeah, but anyway, so now in addition to dealing with a bear problem, we have five mountain lions at my house. Man, that is wild. And they've, they, they went, they attacked, they came in and they did damage. Yeah, they, I, they, them or the bear who for once in his life decided to be like super tidy, tidy and stealthy. But yeah.

It should be a 24.23 a.m. They're just cruising through your yard. A lion. By the way, we go like, oh, it's a mountain lion. It's a lion. It's crazy. March 9th. There's the date.

With its children. So obviously, one of the only circumstances where it would fight to the death. No, it's not good. It's not good. And, you know, our fence doesn't keep anything out, obviously. And what can you do about this? I mean, obviously, you're not going to commit any violence or anything against. Is there a way to, like, keep them away?

My family, meaning like my wife and children and mother, just decide to add more and more tasty snacks to the fucking garden. Basically just put a Domino's Pizza out there. And ring and ring the fucking loudest bell known to man. It's like they're calling to be fucking eaten all day long. And so this is random. You didn't put, you didn't build a meat tree to try and bring this thing in? No, not yet.

I'm all my whole fucking gardens of meat trees. Well, squawking-ass meat trees. Speaking of the shoe thing that you brought up, Peter, asking if it's an urban legend. So my best friend growing up, Owen, lived three houses down for me since I was four or five years old. His mom was a lovely woman. She's like 6-1. That's tall. So Owen's 6-7.

His mom is like 6-1 without shoes. Are you jealous? I don't want to be 6-7. No, no one wants to be 6-7. I want to be 6-1. 6-4. I think we've talked about this. we wouldn't be likable if we were six

four. No, God, we'd be so much more obnoxious. Yeah, yeah. What are you doing here six to? No, just six. Six, okay. So she grew up on a farm in Wisconsin. So one day, probably about 14,

go over to Owen's house, mom's in a wheelchair. Yikes. That's serious. Injuries. Injuries to her feet. So as the story goes, the night before, there's Owen sleeping here's a scream

it's his mom she's in the bathroom the old house one bathroom on the top floor goes in she had gone to go pee in the night women often sit to pee me too missed the toilet

we talked about this he sits to pee a lot yeah I do it for a treat went to sit in the dark trying not to turn lights on sure missed the toilet is now wedged between the toilet and the wall Oh, no. And stuck.

Oh, my goodness. I'm just telling you what I was told about why she was in a wheelchair, dislocated all 10 toes. Oh, my God. Oh, shit. That sounds awful. Toilet injury. Yeah, it's a toilet injury.

I don't know how you dislocate all 10 toes. Yeah, it's tough. So then the plot thickens and she has foot problems because she grew up really poor on a farm. Mm-hmm. And, like, would only get, like, one new pair of shoes every, like, three years. so she would have to like wedge her feet like a concubine. No, get out of here. And the toes that were much too small for her.

Ugh. That's painful. And the toes just pop out. Oh my goodness. Yeah, what do you think of that? There's few things as miserable as wearing a pair of shoes that are too small. Yeah, if there's something wrong with your feet in any way, shape, or form, they're too wet. You have like an injury on your toe that's there just constantly.

You know when you get the infected nail thing? I haven't had one in like 10 years, but it's like the whole fucking tooth. If you even touch it, you're like, ah! Yeah. There was a funny moment when I was just filming where our DP, we were on the scout day, and he's going to look at a shot. And I just kind of see him getting close to this little stream behind him.

And I'm just like, he's in a snowbank. I'm like, all right, he's fine. I'm not paying attention because I'm looking at other stuff. And then I just hear Kierplunk. And he just went in. He just took a step back, both feet in. And we're 30 minutes into a 13-hour day. And I just look at him, and he's just got that,

look on his face and I'm like, your day's ruined. Yeah, he knew what he did. Wet feet. You just got wet feet for 13 hours. How would you like, Kyle, pull up, uh, is it Chinese footbinding? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a confining.

Footbinding. I don't know if it's Chinese. It's definitely Asian of some kind. It's, yeah, it's Chinese. Yeah, it's terrible. I know. That was the concubine. You don't know what a concubine is?

No, of course. I know what a concubine is, but what does that have to do with footbinding? They're not one and the same. Yes, concubines had their feet. Oh, I didn't know that. Nobody knew that. What? Yeah, look at these pictures, though.

Yeah, this is terrible. But this was done as beauty. Yes. Is that beautiful to you? I believe we talked about this. In shoes? It was so that their feet would look tiny and dainty in, they could fit into tiny, tiny, tiny shoes.

And the wealthy did it. It was like a wealthy thing. Is that nice? Do I want? No, it's terrible. No, it's torture. It's body mutilation. I know that part, but like, if you see a girl and you're like, no.

Damn. She's a dime. And then you look at her feet. and you're like, shoes are too big. Well, it's a cultural thing. It's never been a thing. I will say if they were huge,

I might notice. Sure, if she was walking around with fucking flippers, but I'm saying, like, you don't look and go, man,

look at those tiny shoes. Let me compare it to this. I don't like a man with huge feet either. It's a cultural, I do. It's a cultural thing, though,

and think about, like, how a lot of women these days like to look like Kim Kardashian with an overinflated ass and huge duck lips. Yeah.

And like, that's like, that's under, I'm sorry, that's unappealing, by the way. But, like, it's been culturally ingrained because of TV and social media that it's attractive to a lot of people now. I think I call it that. At least the Kardashian thing photographs well. The little feet, you're just like, I don't get a little feet.

Like, I don't get it. Like, little shoes, I don't know. I got a question. Actually, for both of you. So we're talking about, like, okay, so the foot thing, like getting your feet wet while you're on a shoot 13 hours. What's the most? Look at his knees. Look at his knees.

They haven't stopped moving. Oh, I know. It will be all of the comments in the YouTube video. Kyle's trying to figure out how to edit out moving knees. He's going to have to put a stabilizer on his knees right here. Go ahead. So what's the most just not like devastating, but the most annoying thing you've had to deal with out of all of your adventures where you're out and it's similar to like your feet got soaked all day.

Easy answer. Oh, Pat knows. Let's hear his first why I think about it. Blister. If you get a blister early into an adventure, it's the only thing you can think. It never goes away. It doesn't matter. Super glue, mole skin, nine pairs of socks, flip-flops.

It doesn't matter what it is. Just keeps rubbing, dude. No matter what. Yeah, that's bad. Yeah, no matter what. That's bad. It's hard to top that. I can't think of anything worse, to be honest.

It's all feet, though. Everything is that thing. I got to take care of your feet. I got a spider bite that was like here near to my ass. Yeah. in Papua New Guinea on like day one or two when I did that shoot. And I looked at it and I was like, ew, it's like kind of like a gross zit. And I grabbed my rusty, filthy dive knife that had cut thousands of fish and I scratch,

I took it off with the dive knife. You're so dumb. Thanks. In case you're not sure where the story's going, it got infected. You got sepsis. And I did get sepsis. Jesus. Not like full blood sepsis, but like, you know, where you could see the nice red veins

crawling off it and the thing's super puffy. And it was bad and I'll tell you why because I had to put on a wetsuit every day. And so then I'm just like I'm caked in wetts. We use open cell wetsuit so you have to use wetsuit lube, which is conditioner. So I'm caked in like coconut scent conditioner

pulling on a hot, sweaty piece of neoprene that's just baking it in there and then pissing myself where it stays because you're in a wetsuit all day. And it's just like this thing is just like, give me that bacteria. Just fucking throbbing. Yeah.

It took. It took, I'm not joking, I think it took six months for that thing to actually go away. Like the hole was like this deep in my buttocks. You've been, you've had... Well, what about the wound? Oh, dude. I got a new one. You want to see the new one I just recently picked up?

Yeah, show the camera though. They've got to see. Look at this sucker. Kyle will get a nice close up. This was not long ago. In fact, Kyle was with me. I hope it's a split open about this. So I, uh...

Into the mic, into the mic, into the mic. Into the mic. Calm down. I can only get naked and talk in one direction. we went mushroom hunting to pick some chantrells when we had that good rain flush in Santa Barbara what was that Kyle was like eight weeks ago yeah two weeks ago yeah two months yeah two months ago and I was just in a t-shirt like I always am and I got stabbed by poison oak through the shirt no but I've been stabbed by you know I get poison oak all over all the time right but that's great under my skin and I think it like broke some bark off uh-huh all right just a big all right into the camera it's a little skate I don't I don't I don't mean I'm I feel it. Bonjour, compadre. It's the Priceline negotiator.

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He flicked it. All right, back to the mic. Let's go. It's a podcast. So wait, that's a month old, this injury? That's like eight old. It's never going on. No, no, that's a scarred for life.

There's like a lump in there. You didn't feel it. You got scared and you flipped it. You can never go to the beach again with that. There's like a fucking rock hard lump in there. Yeah, that looked. I mean, my fingernail felt like a frozen pee. Yeah.

That's what it feels like. All right. So beauty trends have changed. This is, it's interesting to me. Because you bring up like, so I think it was like during like the Victorian period where being rotund and obese even was a sign of beauty because it was a sign of wealth. I think that's back. I still find a good generation.

And then like, you know, 80s being super skinny. Right. And then like. Remember the plucked eyebrows? I was just looking at some photos. Yeah. With the, the eye, Kyle, pull up like 80s eyebrows. Like they're insane.

Super thin. Like literally one hair lined up next to one hair. Right. And now like big bushy eyebrows is super in. Sexy. Right? Giant lips. Big lips.

Duck lips. Dux lips. The breast implant was very common. Giant breasts. Is that in or out now? I think it's out. Is it out? I think it moved to the butt.

Yeah, the butt implant is much more common. The Brazilian butt lift, if you will. Bible? Yeah. So let's go forward a hundred years. Kyle is drooling over his laptop keyboard right now. Let's fast forward a hundred years. Yeah.

predict realistically, not just trying to be funny. A weird beauty trend that we can't anticipate that a hundred years from now if we saw it now we'd think it's crazy

but it could Oh, I got mine. Could happen. Go, because I don't have one. Yeah, okay. Weird beauty trend 100 years from now dent in the top of your head. Why?

Don't laugh at me. Don't laugh at me. I have logic. Go ahead. Because you've seen, Kyle, pull up the future gamer body. Remember we talked about this briefly? Oh, yeah. Remember, like that's all

hunchback and this guy? Okay, see the dent in the head there? From the headphones? And here's why. I'll tell you why. It's from the headphones, yes. But my logic is that 100 years from now, all menial tasks will be done by AI and robots

and computers. And if you're wealthy and smart enough to be able to work from your computer, granted headphones will probably be a different thing by then. Then you have a dent in your you're in the top of your head. You have a dent in the top of your head. Yeah.

Okay. And that's, that shows wealth. Shows wealth. So it's associated with beauty. Mine's similar. Okay. It's along a similar vein.

I think people will have their ears, the outside part of their ears, fully removed. As in just, just hole in the head? Like, slice the whole thing. I think being earless will be a trend. I could see that. Because, you know, we're not hunter gatherers. We're not surrounded by predators constantly. We don't need to bring in.

sound. We don't need that extra 5% that the cup. Right. It actually can be quite annoying. Yeah. The cup. Sure. The cup. So I don't think we'll need the cup. We don't need the cup now. This is true. Everything's going to be projected into our head via headphones anyway. This is true. Yeah. I think we'll live to see this trend. Wow. I'd like, I'm very, show me an earless human. I almost asked and I was like, I don't think I want to see it. I desperately need to see it. I'm not sure. I'd like somebody to create an AI version. How's the fourth photo? It's just a normal looking guy with relatively small ears.

And they're like, this guy counts. And then the fifth photo is a seal. Yeah. Well, listen. So, for me, I mean, it's tough.

You guys had some really good choices. But I'm going to go with, I think that people are just going to cease to use their legs. Because it'll be a sign of wealth that you'd don't have to do anything physical. So you just basically, I might say you cut him off, but you, you, like the, nope, these things are useless now. The trend will be to have the smallest, most dangly legs.

A little skinny legs, a dangle legs. So you'll have no ears, you'll have a dent in your head and you'll be in a wheelchair. Just little, little spaghetti legs. Yeah, just hang in there. Somebody create this with mid-journey, please. Yeah. There's, this all goes against human. evolution.

That's what we do. That's all we do. It is, but we're talking about, like, what's going to be trendy in 100 years, and it's all based around, like, AI and wealth and human economy. Yeah. It all goes against human evolution. That's all humans do is try to fight evolution. But it's so dumb because human evolution, the whole reason the Kardashian duck lips and fat

ass is in, we're going to get so sued, is because. No, you haven't said anything. That's true. That's true. But the whole reason. that that's trendy is because the male looks at that and goes, shing, like big butt means fertile

means feels good. Big tits mean this good mother, you know, wide hips mean good for birthing. Fat lips, we know what that means. Like, that is evolution. You know what I mean? Yeah, that is evolution. That is your primal brain going, I want to breed with that.

We're too stupid to actually fight evolution. Evolution always finds a way right back in because at the heart of everything, we're just animals. But we're always trying to outsmart it and be like, no, we're not animals. But I'm saying, even though those things that we're saying could be trendy, the sexual selection, whether you like it or not of your brain, cannot find those things desirable. You cannot find spaghetti legs desirable because it's bad to reproduce with that.

You're putting weak genes. You cannot find forehead dent or whatever, head dent desirable because that means you're deformed. But it's bad. Posit this. There is now a very trendy thing called, being asexual. I've been it, I was it before it's cool. I'm saying that. Every time you say it makes me feel bad for you. I'm telling you right now, the way, the way that people are, the way that society's going, this is going to be the new

thing. And I think that the sexual motivation is only going to be those strange alpha males who go and like, do 100 pushups. You got to get your dick hard. I'm going to that train. I'm going to the dick hard train, you go to the fucking spaghetti legs train. He was asexual before it was cool. That's what he's saying. Yeah, he's such a trendsetter. That's right. Can we do a little new segment?

Please. It's going to be short. But I want to know if people like it. It's called the geology moment. Oh. Well, interesting. I have no clue what it could be. This guy fucking loves rocks, dude. I love me some rocks. Who's been to Yosemite National Park here? Forest, Peter. Kyle, all right.

Tell me about it. What's it look like when you go into Yosemite? What do you see? Beautiful. There's a big valley and the iconic half dome, which is a giant. Yeah, waterfalls, granite rocks. Huge granite structure. Unbelievable.

Sticking up out of this valley. Yep. It's one of our greatest natural beauties in the country. So, Kyle, there's a picture for those who haven't visited. It's a great place to see with your own eyes. What if I told you that everything you see here in Yosemite was all just very gentle, rolling hills with a stream, just a very still moving stream that went through it. Gentle rolling hills, none of this granite.

I find it hard to visualize. I think I know where you're going with this, but I'm going to, I want to call shenanigans. What you're saying is this was all carved by water over many, many years. Well, let me tell you how this all formed. Everything you see here, gentle rolling hills with a little stream. Like literally the rest of the area around it. Yes. Yeah.

Like the Grand Canyon also is similar, right, with the river? Not going to get into that, right? I'm not trying to derail. So it's all gentle rolling hills. It's peaceful. Yeah. There's a little stream. There's some trees.

Yep. And a tectonic plate shift happens where the Pacific plate that's under the Pacific Ocean starts to slide under the North American plate. Okay. Right? So as it does this, right, it goes underneath. Now there's all this pressure on the sediment that was on top of the Pacific plate, right? that pressure turns to heat turns it into molten lava

right so this or magma or whatever the fuck it's called it right so that magma starts now pushing up to the surface and as it gets closer and closer to the surface it cools down turns into these big granite structures

that then push up through the surface those are big granite structures so those granite structures were ocean the bottom of the ocean. That's crazy. So it wasn't, gotcha. So it wasn't carved out by the gentle stream. It was. It was projected. Oh. Because as this happens, as these granite structures are pushing up through the surface, it's also now tilting the entire area, tilting it up like this.

Oh, interesting. The west. Okay. Making the sierras, I presume. Well, as it tilts it, this little gentle stream, which we now call the Merced River, now has gravity working in its favor, the water starts to rush and rush, and it widens the river, all this rushing water now carves through the area of the valley that is Yosemite Valley. That's crazy.

And then millions and millions of years later, glaciers come through and widen it a bit, but the Merced River had already done most of this work. So it was this tectonic plate shift that went from just a kind of a flat grassland area with some trees to... rest of the Bay Area, rolling hills and to what you see in Yosemite. It's kind of that stuff I find very interesting. You could do a whole podcast about that stuff. That was very interesting.

What's most interesting is the fact that we know that. Like, we can learn that through geology. Like we can pick up a rock and go, all right, look at this line. This means this happened. Right. I don't understand that. That's why we're so useless when we're born. Yeah. That's a brain. That's right. That's good point. But it is cool. I didn't know. I didn't know any of that. It was fascinating. Is that it? That's it. Is that it? Is that all that happened? That was an new segment.

Incredible natural wonder. I thought it was going to be a game. I apologize. Oh, sorry. Yeah, I fucked it up. No, it's actually my fault. But, dude,

I just got to say, that's like, you're like the Bob Ross of geology. You got to get on TV. That's true. That was very nicely articulated. I'm sure I, like, said one thing wrong.

Like I said, magma instead of, like, someone's going to be mad on YouTube. But that's okay. It's the only time I shut my mouth on this podcast. Um, Just to listen to that.

I think we should play our regular game, an iconic game. Oh, goodness. A game. Classic. Notice Battle Royale. What? What time? Do you know what time?

I didn't know this was going to happen. I'm scared. The what? The Battle War. Okay. Battle Royal. All right, so we got a great VR submitted by Cistner Jody and Hobson. Okay.

Thanks, Jody. So it's a traditional fight till death. Peter's favorite. Yeah, it's the only one he understands. But there are some rules. We're going to pick from a hoofed animal. Okay, okay. Peter, you know what that means.

It has hands? Sure. A feline and an insect. Put it together any way you like, but you got to pick from those three. So there's no octopus. Yes. Because it doesn't have hooves. It's not an insect.

Head body special ability? Yeah. Yeah. Head body special ability. Any way you want to structure it. We're going hoofed animals. female, feline, special insect. I get very, very just, like, kind of bummed out when the battle oil comes because I always get crushed.

And I really have to, like, think outside the box to make it entertaining. For this one, I'm like, yeah, I actually know these animals. Why don't you lead us off? Why don't you get us going then? Okay. So for my hoofed animal, oh, head or bodies? Okay. No, no.

We're just doing it the way I explain. Okay. So a hoofed animal and we're going head body, special ability. Yep. All right. So I'm going to start with a feline. So for my hoofed animal, I'm going to start with a feline. I'm going to go with a Javan tiger.

What? Javan tiger, what? Feline. Oh, body. A Javan tiger, feline. All right, I like that. Yeah, good. So you want the big muscular body of the Javan tiger?

Stunning, by the way. Good choice. I like it. Nice start. I'm going to start with my hoofed animal. I'm going to go body as well. Okay. I want the body of a moose.

Yeah. That's nice. Big 12, 1,500 pound, big old body scales up to that. That's nice. Start there. I like that a lot. All right. Look at that thing.

I'm also going to start with my hoofed animal. Oh, I know what you're doing. Do you? I fucked up. It begins with a G. No. Oh, okay. But it sounds like you might be able to save it, whatever you're doing.

I blew it. Okay. I'm going to start with my hoofed animal as well, but I'm going to start with the head. Okay. Okay. and I am going to take the head of a kudu, of a unicorn. What's a kudu? I don't even know what that is.

Look at these big, beautiful, spiraled horns. Nice horns. They're not a super aggressive animal by any means, which is fine because of my next pick, because it is a snake draft here. So I'm going to put this, imagine that head on the body of a cheetah. Quick.

Really fast. It's basically a running spear. Yeah, that's true. I'm concerned that these sort of beautiful, curled up horns just for show. It may not be as stabby as just a straight horn.

I think you're, I think Pat knows what he's talking about here. He might be right, but this is my pick and it's too late to change. You're sticking with it. All right. People are going to be mad

because this is probably the third time that I've used this creature, but I have to do it. I'm taking the special ability of a bombardier beetle. I knew you would. I knew you would.

There's no possible way I could not take that. Yep. I need my job. giant moose anus to rocket 211-11-franheit chemicals at its attacker. It'll be a thousand gallons coming at you.

It's like a swimming pool of acid but be very difficult to control because it comes out the ass and not the front you have to look behind. This is true. My animal will be well versed in placing its anus. In anal placement. It's usually just a defensive mechanism.

They don't know how to use it for offense. What do you got here? Is it back to me? I'm going to have the head of a beetle. Yeah. So that's funny. That's the funniest thing you've said in 100 podcasts. Okay.

So I'm going to go with the special ability of an insect. Thanks. I would do. And that would be a flea, which can jump. How many lengths of its body? A lot. A lot. 200 or something.

So imagine you have a Javan tiger-sized animal that can jump. You're talking like 300 feet into the air. and then I'm going to put my hoofed animal's head on here, and it is going to be a bull, a bullhead with its horns. So now you're talking about an animal that can basically come up to you and just go bing and with its horns. Not to mention the claws, like tiger claws is pretty substantial. That's right. And tiger claws.

I was going to say that was a stupid pick like the middle, but then I thought about the claws. So it jumps up, comes straight down, horn first. several ways, swiping its claws. That's pretty terrifying. Several ways to be attacked and defense because it can get away too with that jump. Hey, shockingly competent. That's right. I told you. This is my game today. You brought your A game today. He does well with the fight

till death. He does. It's kind of the only thing I'm an ogre. Thank you. I need a head. That's all I got left. I've got to pick it from a feline. Tigers off the table so I can't take a tiger head. It scales up to the body either. way. Right, that's right. I'm going to mix it up here. I'm going to take the head

of just a domestic short hair house cat. Wow, that's the worst pick I've ever heard. Have you ever been bitten by one? Yeah, but there's a lot of cool feline. They're ferocious. They're killers. They have needle teeth. Thanks for Googling house cat. This is a bomb.

Big time. It's also rocketing, boiling chemicals out of its an anus. He's fully reliant on the 2,000 gallons of chemicals. If you took a house cat head the size of a basketball, you're in deep, deep deep. That's true. I mean, any cat head. Not against my creature.

Okay. All right. What do I have? I've got the body of a cheetah with its speed, the head of a kudu. What does it need? What does it need? It needs a lot. Thanks.

You know what it needs? It needs the special ability of a locust. Oh boy. No, sorry, dragonfly. Dragonfly, dragonfly. Better allowed to have that mulligan. Thank you. So what's it going to do?

Well, because if I said locust, swarming, it doesn't really work. So what's the special ability? It's the most agile aerial creature there is. So it can run super fast. It can fly incredibly rapidly, as we have talked about, which I'm still mind blown by. It's the most effective aerial predator in the world. Oh, yeah. And it now has the horns.

So it's just coming at you a stabby no matter what, on the ground, from the air. So I will say this. Not my best bill. One of the reasons that the dragonfly is such an agile flyer and does have like a 90% plus success rate at it hunting is because of its vision. And you don't have the head boy. So I think that thing's just going to be. Yeah.

You honestly should have taken the special ability of a trapdoor spider so this thing could hide. Yeah, probably. Probably. It's not my best. It's not my best build. I mean, there's a clear winner here. It's pretty good.

So Brewster's way in. We've got Peter's bullheaded, tiger-bodied, flea-jumping, creature, which is very good. I'm not going to lie. I don't like to give him props, but it's good. This is incredible. We've got Patrick's what started really strong with the body of a moose, the acid anus of a bombardier beetle, and then the domestic house cat head, which I think is where he lost me. I did it for a reason, and those cat owners out there will vote for me.

They know. They know. And in my bit of a disaster with his achieve a body with dragonfly wings and the head of a kudu, Way in. Let us know who won. Give me a sympathy vote. Just do it. No, don't. He always wins.

Give me all the votes. Yeah. No, Peter, I think you took it this day. You did a good job. You did. Tag me in the comments so that I can just search my name by comments. Smart. Smart.

How do they tag you? What is your name? Can you tag? My name's Peter. Oh. Cool. Real quick, for us, one of your picks. What was the one that you flubbed before the dragonfly?

A locust. Locust. Well, actually, there's supposedly, I know it's not necessarily the same, but there's a historic massive cicada season coming. Oh, yeah. Have you guys seen this? No. Oh, yes. So, wait a minute. Do you mind if I pirate this for a second, Cal? This is like the most historic thing that's ever happened to the U.S. and nobody's talking about it. Cicada Superstorm. Not just that, but it's lining up with the largest eclipse in history. Oh, wow. So there's going to be a four-minute totality solar eclipse across the big band of the U.S. I'm not even get into how Discovery fuck me over on that show. But there's going to be this whole totality solar eclipse of this band for like four and a half minutes,

which is double what the other like eclipse was 25 years ago. It was like two minutes. And at the same time or maybe a couple weeks later, there is this cicada super bloom happening where a 200 year, it's the first time in 200 years that these various batches of cicadas are all aligning. Oh, wow. It's going to be like bad. Billions, they say. Billions of cicadas hatching at the same time.

And that noise they make, dude. But you're from Chicago, so you know. It's deafening in the suburbs of Chicago. Oh, my God. And cicadas come along. You know, they have like the 17-year version, the seven-year version. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this super storm, there's like, like you said, multiple of these just happened to

coincide with this solar eclipse. It's the apocalypse. I was going to say, isn't there something in the Bible about this? Like the sun goes out and the bugs rise. Like that, I think so. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is the beginning of the end. By the way, I think it'd be fun. I think it'd be fun.

If people start just tagging us on Instagram with your cicada videos when it happens. I love cicada. I might go. Kyle, can you look up the dates of the Cicada Super Bloom? I might go. It's going to be so wild. It's going to hit the Midwest and the Southern U.S. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. It looks like the Southern Illinois. When is this going to happen? Cicada Safari. Someone's trying to offer this. is a safari. We should have done that? No.

They're suggesting that homeowners get ear protection. Yes. And cover their pools. Yep. Wow. The 2024, look at this from... More than a trillion cicadas, according to time. Damn.

Late April, early May. Where? Where's the pinnacle of it? I see Louisiana. Northern Illinois. Looks like it goes through the rust belt right there, no? Southeast. We should go.

Illinois. Listen, I, that's my, I'm a mater. My hometown. Let's go. Can you imagine seeing a trillion bugs? Every 221 years, this happens. I think I'm going to go. Crazy.

I'm not even kidding. Yeah, I think it'd be, dude, I think it'd be really cool, but wear your air protection. Is it really that loud? Like, where it'll hurt your ears? Oh, yeah, dude, it really is. Even the normal cicada thing is like bananas loud. This is, like, hard to walk. I'm not joking.

I think I'm just going to wait until it's, like, happening and just book. What's a ticket to Chicago? It's like 200 bucks. Yeah, I think I'm just going to book a direct flight to Chicago and grab a rental car and go see it. Let me get, let me know. I'm dead serious. I'm not even kidding. It's a once in a lifetime, once and two lifetimes,

seeing it's every 200 years thing to see. Wow. Kyle, look this up. I remember this. I was in Chicago in Lake Forest where my buddy Nick lives. Yeah. And they had one of the like seven year or 14 year ones happen. And he was telling me that people were collecting them and eating them.

Yeah. That's like a thing that they do in some different countries and whatnot is they do eat these. They're very full of protein. I was going to say there's going to be a lot of very happy birds. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's a foundation for like a big bloom of the ecosystem. Oh, absolutely. Think of the amount of nutrients that are getting pumped into the ecosystem.

It's wild. Food network, did a thing. How do you cook a cicada? Can you look up how to cook a cicada? I think it's not the way that you do it. Well, you could probably do it in oil and do that whole thing. You take the wings off? Like what's the deal there?

I would eat the wings? I think you want to eat that. It's like a chicken wing. It's a nice little crunch. It's a nice little crunch. Sontade them, deep fry them. Should we do? Do this?

Same as anything. Coyles and cocktails. Absolutely. Kyle, if I take you with me to Chicago, will you eat Cicado no matter how I cook it? Promise me. Anything but wrong. Why do you have to make it so unappetizing? I'm like, all right, and here's some poop in there.

There's a sushi restaurant that serves a Cicada appetizer. I remember these things coming out just zizzing around. Would you eat one? If I deep fried one, would you eat it? Yes. I'd eat it for sure. I ate your grubs that you cooked in the forest. Yeah, nobody liked those.

I ate that hot gummy. I burned him. Yeah, they were gross. All right, well, I mean, on that note, I hope that instead of the outro music, you play some cicada buzzing, but let me do the thing first. He's just shaking his head and go over there. He's like, uh-uh, I'm not doing that.

Listen, go to wild times. dot club forward slash info and sign up for Patreon, sign up for Spotify Premium. Man, we're doing tons of extra episodes. It's all uncensored, behind the scenes shit. We chat, we talk. People love it. Wildtimes.

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skudoo n p h m h n p h over here big problems there big problems here yeah what did Patrick say big problems here? I just said problems here

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