Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Forrest Galante on Taking NELK Boys to Tribe - TWT 164

Episode Date: January 6, 2025

Forrest Galante discusses his recent trip to Vanuatu with the Nelk boys, potentially a newly discovered species, and an Australian farmer gets fined $1Million for making a private air strip. Enjoy! Raycon: Get 15% Off sitewide at https://buyraycon.com/wildtimes Pretty Litter: Save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy https://prettylitter.com/wild Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions https://rocketmoney.com/wildtimes Magic Mind: https://www.magicmind.com/forrest FORREST gets you up to 56% off your first subscription for the next 10 days. Get More Wild Times Podcast Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wildtimespod/subscribehttps://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod More Wild Times: Instagram: http://instagram.com/wildtimespod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/ X: https://x.com/wildtimespod Discord: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9Db Website: https://wildtimes.club/ Merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Battle Royale Card Game: https://wildtimes.club/br Our Favorite Products: https://www.amazon.com/shop/thewildtimespodcast Music/Jingles by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey This video may contain paid promotion. #ad #sponsored #forrestgalante #extinctoralive #podcast

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and the signature Southern Country Rock of Eric Church on July 19th. Tickets on sale now at Yamavat Theater.com, only at Yamava Resort and Casino, celebrating its 40th anniversary. You in? Must be 21 to enter. You went out with the Nelk boys and got very ill, didn't you? I sure did, yeah. This isn't going to Central Island, but I have no control over what they do. They test you, and if you push back, they're going to, like, hurt you.

We all got staff infection, like, really aggressive stuff infection, early. I want to be clear, like, it's all fun and games we're talking about it. It was a hard trip on the body. You're sleeping on the ground, you're in the mud, you're in the reef. Long story short, he went to three different specialists, and they found out he had some kind of parasite in his stomach. People always ask the question, how can I do what you do for us? You've got to be willing to take the kind of brutality that comes along with the good parts that you see on camera.

This is just part of the life that I've chosen to live. Right. I'm dragging my kids to an island in Vanuatu that takes like four days to get there. Yes, they're going to get sick. But more interestingly than this is I'm almost certain that I'm going to, for the first time in history, show a brand new species exclusively on the pod right here. Yeah, nothing to say. Just go.

Just start. Don't even worry. Just go. He's sitting there waiting for you guys to finish. Everybody is like our brains are coming back after the break. Dude, things are a little. Forest has got a lot to say with no context. I got a lot to say and nothing to talk about.

Baby. It's good to see you guys. Wild Times. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Brosners and Sistner's. Welcome back to the greatest show that ever existed.

This is the Wild Times. I'm your host, Forrest Galante. the broologist sitting directly beside me is the one and only. What are you broducers? My brain really is. I need a magic mind. It's been hard. This morning.

Yeah. After two weeks of like just shut down. Yeah. I don't know. Work. Eating like a pig. Let me ask you. First of all, PhD in podcasting on the far end, retap.

Hello. The other host. Let me ask you this. On January 1st, did you kick into gear? or were you just a piece of shit still? Piece of shit. I was waiting until today. Yeah, right?

Because I knew that the sixth was like the first day back at work. Yep. And so I was extending because I take a two-week break, right? That's really the only full break that the entertainment industry takes is two weeks. And it started really late this year. Yep. So I was like, I'm not kicking into gear on the first. I'm waiting until the sixth.

What about you, Peter? How did you handle it? No, no. The first dude is a holiday. So like an actual recognized holiday. And I was talking to my brother who's in town hanging out with me for a while. He's like, we were talking about we're going to go to the gym on the first, right? That's what I'm saying. You kick it into gear on the first. But I was like, nah, dude, it's a holiday. Like I'm not going. And also I was, is the gym actually packed on the first? Oh my God. It's the second. Bro. No, it's. So I am a bit of a gym rat. As you know, I go, I go every day. I love it. It's like my social. hour in addition to my workout. Can't tell. Yeah. Thanks. Rude. But it's, it's not January 1st. It starts like December 18th. And then all of a sudden there are all these people in your gym that are like trying to get yokey for the holidays and like they're trying to kick it into gear before. And like I literally walk around. I'm like, you don't even go here, bro. Like this is not your place. You know what I mean? Like get back like six weeks from now. You're gone. It's because they're sending out the text, dude,

trying to reactivate the database. Come on in, get in shape for the new year. We'll give you the month of December free. Bullshit. I'm telling you, I got these texts. And then I went in there like, oh, no, we don't actually honor that deal, basically. Just get me in and say rest of the year free. And then I go in there and it'll be like 50 bucks initiation fee, 15 bucks a month.

What is this text? Fuck you. Kyle. Sorry. What do we have in the news starting the year off? What's in the news? Sir, no, it's from the underground. Here's a story. A new South Wales farmer was fined a record $1 million for wiping out critical koala habitat for a private airstrip larger than the Sydney airport.

What do you think of this? Wait, a private airstrip lark? The Sydney airport's massive. It is really, really big. But this guy lives on a giant farm and he cleared 1,262 hectares, also 3,100 acres of critical koala habitat, which also has. has cockatoos and all the other things. It's eucalyptus forest for his private air strip so that he can fly around and monitor his cattle. Keep in mind, Australia is very remote. Yeah. You need to have planes there, but seems really large.

It says it says that it also took out critical habitat for 30 other threatened species, dude. That's crazy. But what's your feelings here? Like, obviously, I have a standpoint on wildlife. We all know that. But what are, yeah, I hate it. I hope it all dies. What are our feelings here on like, this guy obviously owns the property. He should more or less be allowed to do what he wants with his own piece of dirt.

He's a farmer. He has to have these things. I'm not saying he has to have an airport the size of Sydney. Right. But, you know, but he obviously has to have an landing strip. Like, what are our feelings on this? That's a big no for me. Wait, so was this his land? His land. His land. He's a cattle farmer. And he cleared this job. giant area to be an airstrip, basically. I mean, but like how, I'd love to see the specifics on the contract for when he bought the piece of land. Like, because do you really own the land that you have?

I mean, if you don't pay taxes on it to the government, they take it back for you. I'm sure he pays taxes. No, no, no. I'm saying. I'm saying that you don't, you're like renting the land from wherever you live, like from the government. They still technically own the land and you're paying taxes on it. So if you were to stop paying taxes, you don't own the land anymore.

So I'm saying, Peter, Peter, if you decided to fill in your death trap of a swimming pool that your children are constantly trying to kill each other in, and you found out that there was a critically endangered yellow-legged frog tadpole living in the bottom of your pool. And then you just were like, you know what, fuck it. Or rather, in fact, a better, a better hypothetical. Yeah, because that's a ridiculous analogy. No, it's not. It's a great analogy. A better hypothetical is you filled in your pool because your kids are trying to drown themselves in it every, every summer day.

Yeah. And then you got a million dollar fine because there may or may not have been a tadpole at the bottom of it. Well, first of all you're telling me you're like, oh, it's fine. The government actually. No, I wouldn't say it's fine, but I would say that I would certainly have to get it. You would go on the biggest rant of all time. I certainly would have had to look into it and get a permit.

And then they would have told me you're going to be in some trouble. If you do this, it would have been a big battle, big fight. Your children's lives were at stake here. There's a fence around the pool. It's fine. You got to go. There's a permitting process. dude, right? What did he just not ask

anybody if he can build this airport? He lives on a giant farm. You just got to ask somebody. Who's he got to ask? What kind of world are we living in where you got to ask somebody? He's got to ask her or him. No, that's shenanigans. All right, all right, all right. So my take is obviously getting shat upon. What's your does is take?

I just don't agree. I think that if you own the land, you should make smart choices on your own. You shouldn't have to... People are incapable of smart choices. That's the problem. That is the problem. You shouldn't have to check with the government, etc. You should look go, wow, this is a really important piece of habitat full of koalas. I'm going to do it over here in the dirt. You know what I mean?

Like, that's what I think? But that doesn't happen, though. So what's the answer? Because people are clearly not going to do that. That's kind of why the system of checks and balances is there, though, with the permitting and whatnot. I don't know. We'll never agree, but.

No, there's no right answer here. Patrick, you're awfully quiet about the situation. I was just reading about these other species. And? I've never heard of a lot of them. Okay. Have you heard of the pale-headed snake? No.

What about the... Well, I've seen Peter's pale-headed snake. It's very pale. It's a real pasty. What about the brown tree creeper? Can you just quickly Google image pale-headed snake with safe search off? Let's see what comes out. It's quite lovely.

That's a cute little snake. I get it. It's a black snake with a pale head. That's kind of cool, man. It's lovely. What about the brown tree creeper? You know that you know about this one? No.

It must be a plant, though. It's got to be a spider. It's got a... Brown tree creeper. Spelled it with a K. Oh, it's a bird. Yeah, very cool. No, it's not.

It's a brown blob. Yeah, it does kind of look like a standard bird. It's what we in the safari business, because you know my family ran safaris used to call an LBJ. What's that? Wouldn't it be Johnson? Good guess. When you'd be out on,

look, in southern Africa, there's gazillions of birds. And as a safari guide, you're supposed to know them all. But there's probably 300 species. of small brown birds that look identical. So if somebody on safari, some British chores, be like, oh, that's quite lovely? What kind of bird is that? And you didn't know, the auto response was,

oh, that's an LBJ. And LBJ is an acronym for Little Brown Job. A little brown job? Yeah, you don't know what it is. You're out there spreading misinformation as people go back and start spreading that. Oh, we saw an LBJ. Yes, it was quite phenomenal.

There were dozens of LBJs in the woods. And then was this before or after? you fed him raccoon shit. That was it. Impala. Impala shit. Oh my God. You're the worst tour guide in the world. I had a good time.

So I went to the zoo yesterday, the L.A. Zoo. And I, you know, we all like zoos here. Indeed. I've been to the Santa Barbara Zoo together. It's lovely. The L.A. Zoo advertises animals that I don't think they actually have. Because I've been there three times. They have two elephant enclosures, Asian and African.

never seen an elephant. Okay. Interesting. They say that they have a tiger and you have to walk really far to get to the tiger. It's the farthest point in. Uh-huh. Never seen the tiger. It's just an empty enclosure when you get there. Empty enclosure.

Yeah. And I would say like 50% of the enclosures are empty. Interesting. So I'm like, they charged a fee to get in. Yeah. Like can't like the animals need to be there. Like I get that they sleep and they need to go in. in and get veterinary treatment and get out of the sun and stuff. But like, I don't really think

they have elephants. I, I tend to believe you, and I'll tell you why, I think that a lot of these zoos, Kyle's rubbing his face, like, please don't say anything stupid. I think a lot of these zoos like that, like public city zoos, they rotate the animals a lot. They keep the animals in quarantine a lot. It's dead of winter. Okay. Okay. The animals should be out. A tiger, if it's not out now, it's not going to be out when it's 108 out in LA. Right. Sure. You know what I mean? Like, it should out, but I think they tend to keep them in way more than they need to be kept in. Got it. For care and food and everything else. I think they do that way too much.

Yeah, they probably hate the humans, too. The animals are just like, imagine just every day you got to get up and just like have someone stare at your butt hole. So there's one rhino, an Asian rhino, and it was like in a charge position looking at the people. Oh, really? Wow. It was stressed out. They're quite grumpy. Got it. Okay. But they are cool. I'm working on a project right now that I'm hoping to place a camera on an Asian one horned rhino's horn and follow it around for a day.

That's amazing. Wouldn't that be cool? Yes. In India. Got it. Yeah. But wouldn't that be cool to put a camera on one of those guys' horns and just kind of live in their world for a day? Because you're seeing the exact same thing they're seeing, right?

Because if you're looking from the horn, you're just looking from their face. What kind of camera? That is the problem. Okay. You need a little guy. Well, so actually, this is kind of interesting. Just Google, like, Rhino camera horn quickly? or a rhino horn camera.

So I saw this thing, yeah, go to that BBC one, the first one, click that. So I saw this, you don't need to play it, but it's really, really clever. This was like a rhino spy thing that was done in South Africa where they drilled holes and put the camera like actually in the horn. We're obviously not going to do that. You have to sedate it. That's for anti-poaching. I'm not doing any of that. I'm just going to put like a dog collar on this guy's horn and try to put a camera on it.

But most of these cameras don't run very long, as you know, the small cameras. So it is tricky, but look how cool that POV is. Oh, yeah, that's sweet. Isn't that rad? Yeah. But that's got, because that's on an African rhino where there's another horn in the front. So we do it differently. But yeah, I don't know.

We'd be cool if we can figure it out. What are you hoping to capture? I don't know. I really don't. Just rhino, just POV rhino. Got it. You know? Have we talked about your most recent visit?

No. You've been on a lot of journeys that we haven't talked about on the public pod, on the bonus we have. But you went out with the, uh, with the Nelk boys and got very ill, didn't you? I sure did, yeah. Yeah, we haven't talked since then. What, since you got back from Vanuatu? Have we not? No. That's ridiculous. Um, we did. We went, went to Vanuatu, went to Quakia Island in the far northern regions of Vanuatu. Yeah. And then brought the Nalk Boys in and took them to Mota Island, which is an island so remote that they

speak their own language just on that island. And the island's like the size of this building complex. It's not huge. But the island is so standalone that they speak their own language. on Mota. And yeah, went and did a full tribal experience with them. And it was super fun. With a pretty much uncontacted tribe. They've only been contacted once in the last like, not really. I mean, so I said, I kind of said that in the video, but the truth is like they've, they've been contacted by this guy, Brett. So Brett is the guy who he's probably the only Westerner, you know, he's a white guy. He's probably the only Westerner that lives in that whole province of Vanuatu. For hundreds of miles, that's him. He's an awesome, awesome.

dude. We really, really like the guy. Super fun. But he is the only person that's ever been culturally indoctrinated into the Mota tribe. Like they brought him in. He went through the whole ceremony with them and he's there. You can actually see it. I don't know if that's it right there, but he actually went through the ceremony with them. And so he's considered like one of the Mota people. He kind of looks like Luke Wilson. He's quite handsome and quite lovely. But yeah, so he's the guy who really has contact with Mota Island. Like, couldn't just rock up there. It would be a Sentinel Island situation, I think. Okay. But so he, like, he's in, as you can see. So he's like a part of it. So I, I've, I've been chatting with

Brett for a while now and I told him like, the Nalk guys want this really cultural experience. He's like, yeah, look, I've taken a couple people over there, but there's anything can happen. Right. He's like, I, like, I want you to understand, like, this isn't going to Central Island, but I have no control over what they do. He's like, they could get upset. They could not get upset. they could be happy. They could sit around and smoke weed all day and ignore you. Like anything can happen. And I was like, great.

Well, you know, like try and like, you know, tell them we're coming and get them excited. And then let's just fucking roll the dice. And he's like, well, we got to bring him a pig. So he went out, caught a pig, took him a pig. And then, yeah, it was, it was pretty nuts. So, so the knelk boys, I had never heard of them. They're a huge, like, YouTube channel. Yeah.

And they're kind of just like a bunch of bros, younger, youngerish kid. They're us in our early 20s. That's exactly what they are. It's not good. Yeah, it's not good. And you were kind of like their guide on this, and they have no experience kind of being out in nature, doing anything like this, right? Yeah, they're definitely city boys. But they're super fun, super game, not experience, not comfortable in the outdoors. I should say I'm not comfortable in the outdoors. It's just not their space. It'd be like taking me.

Exactly. Like taking five of me. They're tough guys in their game for it, but like they wouldn't know how to catch a pig. I don't know if I got a tough guy. Kyle, you were there, right? I was there, yeah. Was it scary as you rolled up to the island? It's like, it's shocking. I wouldn't call it.

Show them to go to the video, go to the Nalk Boys video, and just go to like the arrival part. It's fun. We had a good time. They're really nice guys. Like they're, one thing I really learned from this whole experience is, we're talking about my trip to Vanuatu, India, all these things.

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Yeah. And they're just bros. Like, just pause it for a sec, Kyle. They're just bros. They don't make any qualms about who they are. They don't pretend to be anything. They're not. They tell you if they're scared of something.

They're as broy as it gets. Like, they're literally like... Like, one of them will say something stupid and the other one will be like, dude, is that what What's going on in your fucking head right now? Are you that dumb? And then, like, that's, they're just being themselves. And it's really refreshing because I feel like even myself, and I know the three of us, like I'll speak for all three of us, I will watch what I say sometimes.

You know what I mean? On the pod or in public, I'll be like, ah, I can't say that. Like, that could be offensive to somebody. These guys are just like, fuck that. Like, I'll say exactly what I'm thinking, when I'm thinking, how I'm feeling. Like, and they're nice people. So it's not like, you know, it's not like it's bad stuff. But, like, they say stuff that I'm like,

whoa, I don't know if I'd call my buddy a fucking idiot on air. And they do. Yeah. Well, is that a fucking idiot in this? No, no Mitch. That's a guy named Gabe. But yeah, so this is how they greet. That's a guy named Steinie, who's really funny, but he was not expecting any of this.

They just run up to him and embrace him. That's hilarious. Yeah, they start, like, hitting you and, like, grabbing you. And, you know, it was a whole to do. So what was like, okay, kind of any behind the scenes thing that was like the most, what were they the most like afraid of that was noticeable and they were like I don't want to do this or like just swimming swimming in the ocean with sharks really oh yeah well that's terrifying well they're like and so what is this like an intimidation thing yeah it's like the whole the whole thing that the tribe does the mota tribe is they sort of test you and if you like see how they're like kind of hitting them and screaming and stuff this is I could be mistaken a little bit but this is how Brett explained it to me. They test you, and if you push back, they're going to, like, hurt you. Wow. Yeah. So, like, I warn them going into this. I was like, do not punch back. Do not do anything.

Like, let them test you. Like, they're here to intimidate you. And if they see you as a threat or a challenge, they're going to fuck you up. Like, they're going to fuck all this stuff. And they'll probably kick us off the island, you know? So they test you. And then you don't see it in the video because it takes a minute because it's boring. We had to walk like 45 minutes up this insanely steep muddy hill where everybody's falling down every 10 seconds. And they're like pushing you and hitting you with sticks and screaming in your face. It's, it's really wild. We had our little holiday party over at Pat's house where we brought the wives and the kids

and we had some, we made some good food and everything. And I feel like your, your son Rhodes essentially does the same thing. He likes to test people. Yeah, he's a psycho. He definitely hits you. And if you hit back, he's going to hit you harder. He goes for your balls. Yeah.

Well, I've taught him his whole life that like fighting is fun and it's a game because I, I, this is This is just bad parenting advice. Don't listen to this. I strongly believe that, like, kids today are being raised in a very, like, physically soft society. Oh, zero question. Like, when we were in school, and this is us being dads again, but, like, when we were in school, I got in a fist fight minimum once a month at school. I did, and I know I was a little more of a troublemaker than some, but, like, I was in a fistfight

constantly. The teachers didn't care. I remember, I remember arguing in close was back in Zabobu, but I remember arguing in class with a classmate, and my teacher said, go outside. and sort it out. And me and, I won't name him, me and a friend, who's still a friend, went outside and fucking punched it up as hard as we could.

He whooped my ass. And we went back inside, we were both crying and sat down to go back to school. And the teacher was like, great, you sorted it out. So I've always taught my son, like, fighting is fine. You stand up for what you believe in, test yourself, test bigger people, test adults, whatever.

Doesn't, you know, he likes you guys. That's why he runs up and hits you. Yeah. And in a fun way, it's not like he's trying to hurt you. No, no, a big smile on his face. Yeah, but like I... He's tenacious, too. He just would not stop.

No, he's relentless. I feel like he could take me in a fight because I would get winded and he'd still be going. Oh, yeah, you would gas out. He's exhausting. Wait, so how's this video doing, by the way? What's it at? It's got like 4 million views or something. It's 4.7 million views in nine days.

Did they fund this trip? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they paid for everything. I mean, I didn't get paid. I didn't want to get paid. I just said, you know, pay for me and my guys, who were Kyle and Tommy, who you guys, who you guys know, Tommy and Kyle's obviously always here.

I was like, just pay for me, Kyle and Tommy to come along and we'll film our own content aside from this. And, you know, you cover all the costs and we're in. And that's what they did. I feel like that that is what our brosters want. That's like their dream in life is how do I figure out how to fucking huge bats. Oh, yeah. How do I figure out how to live this life?

It's so crazy. So they just reached out to you and they're like, hey, dude, you want to, were they, did they have this plan? ask you for like a plan of something crazy to do and then you kind of figured out where you're going. Kyle, that guy right there. He's kind of the leader. I think he's like the OG Nelk boys. Okay. Or Nelk boy perhaps. Sort of a Nelk man at this point. Yeah, but he hit me up, I think on Instagram and he's like, hey, bro, like love your content. I'm a huge fan, blah, blah, blah. And I'd seen their stuff, of course, they're everywhere. And I was like, likewise, your prank stuff. So you should see when we're done, we should watch their dog truck video. Remember when

Trump was like, they're eating the dogs and cats. You got to see the video they made off of that. It's so funny. But, um, uh, so he reached out and he's like, I just want to do like a cool tribal experience. And I actually Kyle knew of this Quakia Island thing. And so I pinged Brett, the guy who owns it. I was like, hey, like, I know there's a lot of tribes in northern Vanuatu.

Like what, what do you? What can we do? And he's like, dude, we can do this. So I got back to Kyle. I was like, pay for this. Just cost. It was very affordable for what it is. Sure.

Look, there's no, there's nothing. And, uh, I was like, pay for this and I'm in because I've always wanted to go to Vanuatu. So we did. Are you eating bats? Is that what's happening? Sure are. I feel like that's pretty dangerous after the whole COVID thing. I mean, these people have been eating bats for centuries. So, they don't have COVID. Well, on that note, that I'm aware of. Again, at the, at the party, you had told us, you know, like, you kind of glossed over the fact that you're, everybody in your family got violently ill for like two weeks. And you told, you said that and then I was talking to your

wife and she was like, it was the most insane thing I've ever been through. Like my son, he had a fever for five days. It was awful staff infection. She didn't eat for two weeks straight. He lost a third of his body weight. I feel like if that happened in my life, it all I could think about for like two months would be like, man, we almost all died. No, I think only my son almost died.

Everybody else was okay. How did that happen? What happened? So we went back to back from India for that, the tour video of Ventara that you guys have seen. We went from there almost direct to Vanuatu. Like, I think it spent one night at home and then went to Val- With the family.

With the family. Yeah. So we were pretty worn down. And then Vanuatu, I was there for three weeks. And India was there for two weeks. So I've been on the road for a bit. And long story short, we all got really cut up because there's a lot of coral reef and our supple little bodies that I speak for all of us in this room are not used to like the coral reef and the tons of bacteria.

the ocean there. So like, it's funny because my scars are purple. You can actually see them still. Yeah. Oh my God. Look at those legs. They're purple in color. So we all got stuff. You can't see anything on those toothpicks. We all got staff infection. Like really aggressive staff infection early. And nobody had antibiotics or anything. Kyle got a two. You got a staff infection too. Oh, that was the foot thing. Yeah. Yeah. Couldn't even walk. But like it's really painful, by the way. Like you can't move. You can't touch it. So all the kids is so I don't even know where to tell you. I got cut up. I got a staff infection. Jessica cut up. She got a staff infection. Rhodes was cut fucking all over because he's a five year old. He's this lunatic and never

wears clothes. So he was like riddled with staff. And then the baby was totally clear because Jessica took care of him like a baby until literally about an hour and a half before the charter plane came. She's like, can you just watch Rudd while I packed the bag? And I was like, of course. So I handed the baby, I put the baby on the ground and handed him a hermit crab that broke his finger, like within 15 seconds. And it snapped his finger here. And then of course, cut so much that he got a staff infection as well. Literally within about 15 seconds of her handing me the baby. You are insane. I know. So we all came home with staff infections, as did Kyle. You said you got it four times. Just four different spots. Four different spots. Yeah. That's how we all

were. Did the Nalks get infected? Yeah, they all, everybody was the hospital. We got fucked up, I want you to be, I want to be clear. Like it's all fun in games we're talking about it. It was a hard trip on the body. Like you're sleeping on the ground. You're in the mud. You're in the reef. Like it was a hard trip on the body in a fun way.

But yeah. So they all got treated in Australia. But I was then in Vanuatu for an additional like two weeks. And then came home and went straight back to India. Literally you spent like eight hours in California. Went back to India. Just flew the family home. Yeah.

But I picked up a Z pack from my doctor while I was in California. California because I was like, hey, like I, I think I have like a respiratory thing or something, but it was actually just the staff doing a full body like meltdown. But my kids and wife, nobody had talked to anybody. They all had the staff still. And just like, all right, like we were like doing all the shit I always do. I've done it to Patrick, like treating with hydrogen peroxide, clearing out the wounds, blah, blah, blah, but it wasn't, it was getting worse and worse. So Jess took herself and the kids in, got antibiotics for the staff infection, went home. I was like, how are you guys? Like, I'm feeling better. She's like, we're good.

you know, like the kids were like pretty sick. And staff's bad for little kids. Oh, sure. Yeah. And so she's like, the kids are getting better, but Rhodes just has no energy and no appetite. And I was like, ah, it's probably just do the antibiotics. You know, he's been pretty sick, blah, blah, blah. But he went, long story made short, he went two weeks without eating.

Antibiotics came and went. He lost, he weighs 40 pounds and he weighed 40 pounds and he lost eight pounds. So, you know, he lost a quarter. 20%. Yeah, it lost a quarter of his body weight. And, and then. And she's like, he's not getting better. And now he doesn't have the energy to get from like the couch to his bed.

And I was like, fuck. So long story short, he went to three different specialists. And they found out he had some kind of parasite in his stomach. Yikes. That could have come from Vanuatu. It could have come from India. We don't know. And it's a parasite that I don't remember the name of it, but most adults system just naturally beat it.

But kid systems don't. And he was really sick. But the problem is Western medicine, where in California, this parasite doesn't exist here. He went to two specialists who were like, I don't know. Maybe he's just got an upset stomach. they couldn't figure out what it was. Then the third specialist figured it out. 36 hours later, he was like back on his feet.

But he was like deteriorating. Yeah. Yikes. But that's just part. And I was explaining this to my lawyer called me and he's like, what's going on? Are you going to get sued? Forget these guys sick?

I was like, no, relax. Everybody's fine. But I was trying to explain it to him. This is just part of the life that I've chosen to live. Right. I'm dragging my kids to a fucking island in Vanuatu that takes like four days to get there. Yes.

They're going to get sick. It's just part of the life choices that we've made. Yep, they're going to get sick and you're not in the U.S. where you feel confident in the medical system. Correct. Right? You're going to have to treat certain things or like use Bush medicine. And I'm pretty good at that.

Like, you know that. We've done it many times, but I couldn't beat whatever was going on. You know what I mean? And I didn't know, but everything's good. Everybody's back. Use full energy for Christmas. Sure it was. Putting a lot of eggnog in a system to put on some pounds.

Yeah. We're good. By the way, is it fucking freezing in here? it's a little chilly. It's cold. We all have jackets on. I feel great, though, because I got my, I got my hair down. I just want to make sure I wasn't going crazy.

Yeah, you're good. Absolutely freezing. It's called. It's called. I'm shivering. So that's kind of like the other side of, you know, we get a lot of feedback or people always ask a question, how can I do what you do for us? Like, that's what a lot of people watch a show want to do.

And it's always funny to me because nobody really, like, you got to be willing to take the the kind of brutality that comes along with the good parts that you see on camera, which is this. Not only that, but you pointed out to me, which I didn't even register for me, those things don't like click with me as being a big issue. And like you were talking to Jess, my wife at the Christmas party. Yes. And she was like, my kids nearly died from the waterfall thing. The boat broke down. And you're like, Forrest hasn't told me any of this. I was like, oh yeah, that did happen. It's crazy. It doesn't even register to me as like being a big deal. Like part of adventures is narrow misses, boats breaking down, getting stuck, getting lost, like being,

you know, that's just part of an adventure. You board certain planes knowing that you're just going to go through some shit. Exactly. And when you get on the plane, you're like, you know, you're at LAX, you just ate your cheeseburger and had your glass of wine. And you're like, I'm getting on this plane knowing that I'm going to put myself into some shitty situations that are going to be very uncomfortable. Yeah, absolutely.

But it's worth the tradeoff because I want to see that mountain or, you know, climb a glacial. Or in this case, a waterfall that was not worth it. Yeah. So, well, that was a different scenario. You were on a boat. You had a, the way that just explained it, you were on a boat and there was one waterfall that was like 15 minutes away and one that was like two hours away. And you were like, well, we got to go to the two hour one.

And then what happened? The boat broke down. A couple things. Actually, Kyle, Kyle, I'm going to send you something. The boat broke down. But the most exciting part of this waterfall thing. and I'll tell the whole story, and yes, the family nearly died. But aside from the illness, the family died almost in a different place.

It's bullshit. They didn't nearly die. They just, like, there was a bit of a scare, which I'm going to explain. But more interestingly than this is I'm almost certain that I'm going to, for the first time in history, show a brand new species exclusively on the pod right here. Damn, we need a jingle for this. New species, ding-a-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-s snail. It's smaller. And it's not a beer slug either, unfortunately.

It's a tiny spider. Actually, here, Kyle, I'm going to send you a few photos. So you can, you could be the judge as to whether or not this trek was worth it. I'm glad it's not the beer slug because that's still on the table for the wild times to go out and find. It must be. Hold on, Kyle. I've got stuff coming your way here. But yeah, so long story, long story short, there was this two waterfalls.

So we're with Brett in Quakia in Vanuatu. There's two waterfalls, right? there is the waterfall that's about 20 minutes away that's kind of near to a small village, similar to a Motta village, that's easy to get to, nice sandy beach, blah, blah,

but people have seen it. There's even a little village there. Then there's a waterfall on the backside of the big island that probably less than 100 people have ever visited. And Brett's like, look, it's a mission, but it's huge and it's spectacular.

Like, I only go there like once a year, but it is a crazy waterfall. What do you want to do? do. And so for me, it was a no-brainer. It's like, I got to go to the big waterfall. And Jessica's like, well, Jessica hates boats. She'll get sick in a canoe. Wow. Sitting in a bathtub. So she's like, how far is it? I was like, Brett, how far is he? He's like, it's two hours. I was like, it's about an hour and a half. Of course. So we get in, we get in his boat. We go there. The seas are rough as shit. Jess is green getting there. We rock up and there's nothing

but maybe Kyle, I'm not sure if these pixel work, but I sent him to Kyle. There's nothing but sheer cliff. There's no way to get onto the beach. So I'm like, how do we like get in through these swells? He's like, oh, you just have to swim in, which is great, except I have a five year old and a one year old who can't swim, right? So yes, that's a problem. Yeah, so we anchor the boat like 100 yards offshore, dive in, Rhodes is on my back in a life jacket, rut is on Jessica's back. The swells are rolling over us. The rocks are super sharp, super slippery. This is how we got part of the stif infection because we got super cut up getting rolled, getting on the beach. The baby, like Jess is swimming in and I won't, I shouldn't even tell us.

I watch this. She's clinging on to, the baby's clinging on to Jess's back. He's in a life jacket. And this like four foot swell rolls over and just engulfs her and the baby. And you just see the baby's face. It's like, he comes up.

So yeah, so we get there, we swim up. And then we finally get on these rocks. And the rocks are sharp. We're all cut to shit. Like you can see it there. Like zoom in on the beach,

Kyle. That's the beach. And that's during a flat part, right? Like there are big waves. I mean, not huge waves, but you know,

like shoulder high waves breaking. It's just giant. sharp rocks. But there's the waterfall. See it there? And you can see why nobody goes there. I mean, it's just Jurassic Park. Yeah. Anyway, I don't know. The story's getting long. But yeah, so then we have to hike up the super muddy mountain.

Everybody's falling down. Yeah, it looks like this trying to get up there. There's no trail or anything. You're just bushwhacking. Jess has the baby on her back. She falls like twice. Blah, blah, blah. Like, it's just vertical.

Rhodes is falling. I'm even I'm falling and I'm pretty short-footed on this stuff. You know, it's just so slick and muddy. Quite the adventure. But then we finally get to the waterfall. Kyle, show what the waterfall looks like if you don't mind. And it's just like, it's absolutely beautiful. It's huge waterfall.

Wow. Nobody goes there, like I said, and we're swimming. That's us like going down to it. Yeah. And I'll get to the like the, none of this is the gnarly part of the story. What's really cool is, Kyle, pull up those fish picks I sent you quickly. How's the water there? Is it warm?

In the waterfall, it's chilly. Chili. Like, because it had just rained a few nights before. Hold on before you go the next picture. That one I could ID. But the water. The waterfall is like crisp. The water in the ocean was like 86.

It was beautiful. Yeah. And I could show you nice photos. This is all like the kind of gnarly stuff. This is the adventure stuff. Yeah. Anyway, so I,

Rhodes being roads and me being me, we bring a bunch of dip nets and like critter keepers, like clear buckets and stuff. Yeah. And we've, I jump in at that pool in the waterfall and it's full of beautiful little freshwater fish. And I catch like two or three of them.

I'm able to like ID them later. But then I get this little guy. Go to the orange one. Now, this looks like a little. This looks like a little bit. leech to me of some type of my or an alien it's a tiny little freshwater fish this little sucker i'm almost certain is an undescribed species wow yeah new species drop right here i like if anybody

listening can google search this or figure it out or look at freshwater fishes of anawatu and correct me please comment in the video yeah because i looked all over and i could not find anything that has these two orange spots so zoom in real quick Kyle by the way drop a comment on the video was there multiple of these or was this the only one? No, no. There was probably in that pool like thousands, but they're really hard to catch. I was swimming around the little dip net and yeah, this was the only, he's got

the clear body, the orange spot halfway down and the orange nose. Beautiful. Very cute. Look at it. There. You can kind of see him there and just couldn't find it. So I'm almost certain this was a new species. And I was like saying to Brad, I was like, we should take this back and like build a fish tank at your lodge and keep it and blah, blah. But he's like, I'm not taking this little fish back. But like, it's like, I'm pretty sure this is an

undescribed species in this remote waterfall. And I kind of like when I don't, I mean, you couldn't make a show about this tiny little fish, but I like want to do something around it because it's so cool. Like I said, I'm almost certain it's a brand new species, probably endemic to that little island and that little water patch. Very cool. Is it like similar to anything like a bigger genre? Yeah, it's a freshwater gobi of some kind. Goby. Yeah. So Kyle could look that up quickly. It's definitely a goby. Like you can see it. But what species it is, I don't know. I mean, like I'm saying. I don't think anybody's ever documented. It's one of those. It's some kind of freshwater gobi. The gobies are the ones that like chill on the bottom and kind of like walk.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, they don't really walk. They kind of like hop rock to rock underwater. Gobees are pretty broad. But yeah, they're beautiful fish and they're living in this fast moving water. That looks to me like a male in mating colors because there were a little brown ones around. I'm guessing those were the females. But yeah, oh yeah, go to that other, go to the left pick. Look at that. You can really see the colors there. It's really hard to do with a stupid iPhone that was soaking wet. But it looks good. Looks very. It looks very. You could see all the detail in it. But isn't that cool?

Like, I'm pretty sure that's a brand new species, never before described by Western science. It's awesome. So you checked it against, like, whatever field guide. I found two pieces of literature that I ordered the books and looked them up and couldn't find anything or one was a paper, one was a book. And then I googled furiously, couldn't find anything. Got it. Has there been much scientific research on that island?

No, zero. Okay. Literally zero where we were. And actually, I got another crazy story, which we'll circle back to remind me about the giant gecko, okay? Okay. Anyway, we finish up at the waterfall, slide our butts back down, falling, everything else, go back through the surf, get back to, you know, babies crying again. The waves are breaking over his head, the whole fucking thing. There he is.

Uh-huh. I mean, we had a great time. And then we finally get back to the boat. Again, it took us two hours to get here in very rough seas. Yeah. We finally get back to the boat. And, oh, this is kind of, I don't think I really meant to send that. But it doesn't matter.

You can show it. We finally get back to the boat. Why are your pants off, dude? No, no, no, no, no. We finally get back to the boat. boat and um just was like okay that was exhausting like we got to go back and i'm like yeah for sure and brett's like just so you know one of the best sea mounts is like right over here like a mile away and i was like well we got to check that give me 10 minutes to dive on the sea mountain check it right yeah

um and actually you could show that other video from a different spot but yeah so i you know dive in there's some nice fish around whatever um you did some spearfish in yeah i did some some dog tooth tuna and some big ucus and stuff. It was great. But yeah, so we boated the boat a mile over after this harrowing thing. The babies nearly drowned, whatever. We find a new species. Like, oh, shit.

And then it takes two hours to get there. It just sits in the boat while I jump in at the seam out, getting sicker and sicker, as are both kids. I find out all three of them. Everyone's, yeah. All three of them are sea sick to the point of throwing up over the side of the boat. And she's like, we got to go, please. And I was like, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

We shouldn't have hit the seam out. So I like jump in the boat. We make it. 40 feet. Start the boat. Oh no. Boat dies. Yeah. 40 feet. And the boat dies. How far are you from shore? Where, I mean, that distance, you can see the shore behind us. That's not a nice swim. No, two miles offshore and then, yeah, probably 35 miles back from Quakia, the main island. Yikes. And the boat dies. So, you know, like, I'm pretty good with outboards. Brett's really good with him.

He does all his own mechanic. So we start ripping the engines apart, like trying to figure it out. We're changing the spark plugs, checking the fuel lines, like everything you do on an outboard. And Jess is literally like over the side of the boat throwing up. The baby's throwing up all over her. What a fucking nightmare. The boat is like, by the way, because you're not moving probably like even more. So the boat the boat rotates side to the swell. So now it's like full, boboof, every 10 seconds.

My wife wouldn't talk to me for like the next three months, by the way, if this had happened. We spent an hour working on the outboard. Oh, God. Can't fix it. Can't fix it. So it's a two-engineed boat. boat. So, you know, we give up on the second. Because literally an hour working on the outboard would save you hours going back because you go twice the speed. Boats overloaded with everybody in one engine,

blah, blah, blah. We give up on trying to fix the engine. Can't get it fixed. Start it. The boat's moving six knots. I don't know if that means anything to you guys, but that's like I can walk faster than that. Takes us four and a half hours to get back from the waterfall to the island. That must have been a nice ride. Yeah, Jessica's throwing up the whole time. The baby's throwing up all over her lap. Rhodes is passed out from exhaustion. And the boat's just going, ne-hmm, up and on the waves. Like, every wave it slows down because of the tilt of the wave. And then speed, like, it's that slow. Yeah, four and a half hours, get back after dark. That is an advantage. No food. I mean, no food. Oh, really? Yeah, didn't bring food. We were supposed to be

a morning's trip to the waterfall. Dude. Yeah. Wild. There's sort of nothing worse than being seasick, but at least if you know, if you have a time frame of when you'll get back to land, it can sort of help you get over the mental will to, like, give you the will to survive. You're like, okay, I only have to be like this for X number more minutes. Yes, exactly. Some hope, even though every minute does feel like an hour, because your body is trying to turn itself inside out. The whole time is essentially what's happening.

It's like purging itself. Yeah. And both kids were doing it. Jess was doing it. And I was just smiling away. I even have photos. I'm like happy as a clam and they're all puked over the side of the bow. Dude, I feel like there's only maybe, maybe like 0.000-1 women in this world that would deal with your bullshit.

It's funny. Yeah, that's 100% true. We were talking about that recently. He'd be divorced several times over had he not met Jess. I don't think, I don't know that I've ever met any other women that would actually put up with my shenanigans. No, like actually. Most men just hanging out with you either wouldn't want to do it. I'm a lot. I'm a handful.

You're a handful. I mean, it's not your fault the boat broke down. No, I tried to fix it. It's my fault that I made us go to the far waterfall and go to the seamount and drag them through everything. So Brett says, by the way, we're not far from this awesome seamount. Yeah, you wanted to dive it too. So you look at Jess. Yeah.

And was there anything she could have said that would have made it so you didn't end up at the seamount? No, she knows me. She looked at me with like, dough eyes. Like, please don't do this. And I look back to Brett. I was like, all right, a quick one. You know? But she went with you, though.

So, like, that says something about her, you know, she's stuck by you. Well, this is what I said to you, Peter, because this, you guys had this plan where Forrest is going to take you to the Channel Islands and drop you off in a remote spot and then come pick you up. Yeah. This is why I said, like, he may not come get you on the day he says he's going to come get you. I probably will. It'll be, it'll be an adventure, though. He would, I mean, dude, after that prankie pole, that AnimalCon, it would be like, he would let me get to. to like the point where my head is getting dark getting dark now so it's like four hours after he's

supposed to pick me up and then he'd like turn up and he'd be like oh by the way we don't have any lights so we got to spend the night here and yeah like too awesome just the biggest prank in the world pretty funny though dude so crazy man but and your kids are kind of getting just like how was roads is roads throughout this like he was totally all into it 100% in he's catching hermit crabs every day building fish tanks I I would like go and do something because I had my Starlink and I was working and stuff. So I would like go and work and I'd come back and Rhodes is just sitting there with like two birds that he's caught. And I'm like, what are you doing? He's just been feral in the island. He's got,

didn't wear shoes for a month. Like, it was awesome, dude. It's great. So I said to remind us about the gecko. Oh yeah. What's going on there? So this is interesting. I have a thurry. Is that a story or a thurry? A thir. A thir. A thir. A theory. If I was from the south, You'd get it. Yeah, thurry. So the leachianus gecko. I think we've talked about it. Kyle, pull up a leachianus gecko, would you?

He's too busy texting. I saw that. I hate him. The lechianus gecko is the largest species of gecko in the world. Oh, yeah. It's this freakish, gigantic thing. Feels like velvet, okay? They were discovered.

When was it discovered? Kyle, quit fucking texting. I'm looking for something. So if you're only listening, it's like a foot-long gecko that's fat. It's just, it's like the size of a football. Yeah, it's a fat footlong gecko. Wait, is it not the Lichianus? Edit 1829.

No, it's fine. Look up the giant New Caledonian gecko that was discovered in like the 1980s, please. Anyway, here's what I'm getting at, okay? I thought it was a leachianis, but maybe it's a different type of leachian geos. The giant New Caledonian gecko was this animal. We've talked about the quick, oh no, now I'm messing up with the island. The quick, quickia, which is the death lizard in Maori. Yeah, right?

Behind the bark. We've talked about that. Oh, yeah. So this New Caledonian giant lizard, Delcourts, Delcourt. No, that's not it. I don't know. New Caledonian giant gecko was believed to be a rumor. It was like, it's not a real thing. Then these two guys went there, a French guy, and I forget what the other guy's nationality was, and found this giant gecko in New Caledonia. Okay. Where I was in Vanuatu is the northernmost part of Vanuatu.

120 miles. That's it from New Caledonia. So when I was on Mota Island with the tribe, I didn't, at this point in time, I just knew I was close to New Caledonia, but I had no idea. idea how close. I was talking to some of the elders. I was like, do you have any big geckos here? You know, and I was like explaining what a gecko was showing him pictures and stuff. And the guys like, yeah, yeah, yeah, like this big. And I was like that big. Because the New Caledonian geckos are like this big. They're like a foot. This thing he was doing with. And again, it's all anecdotal. But he was holding up his hands at like two and a half feet. Right. And he's like, yeah, yeah, they're on this island. I was like, please show me one. We were there for two nights. So I didn't get to see one.

Yeah. But only 120 miles I found out later from New Caledonia, approximately 120 miles from New Caledonia, and the local people in a place that science has never been conducted are saying, yes, there's giant geckos here. Wow. So there could be, potentially in northern Vanuatu, a larger gecko than the largest known gecko species ever described that was only discovered 30-something years ago. Enjoy more ways to save at Ralph's, like low prices in every aisle. And when you download the Ralph's app, you can clip and save more with digital coupons every week. Plus, you can earn fuel points to save up to $1 per gallon at the pump. At Ralph's, you can enjoy more ways to save and more rewards every time you shop.

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We've got to film it, try and find it. You want to go find a lost giant gecko? I'll go with you. Yeah? Yeah. Pat seems less keen. I just, you just described several near-death incidents. I'm just trying to decide if Peter's cut out for it.

Are you cut out for it? I'm going to be cut up if we go. But yeah, I'm cut out. What do you mean? You think you're more cut out than me? No. I'm not going. It would be tough.

I would have to like do a nice two months solid gym time. Get my core in shape and just. You don't need your core in shape to go to an island. Are you kidding me? You got to be spry physically. You don't have to be shirts off. You can just wear your shirt in the pool. You got to be sure footed.

You got to be confident in your physical abilities. And, you know, why is so much shit discovered in New Caledonia? I don't know. It's a good question. Where is the Wallace line? Can you Google that as it relates to New Caledonia? It's further. It's got to be further east, closer, or further, whatever's closer to Australia, right?

There's the Wallace line. Do you know what the Wallace line is? No, no, no. The Wallace line is really, really interesting. So look at the PBS thing right there, bottom right-hand corner, your screen, Kyle. So the Wallace line is an imaginary line. that you're seeing right there, that for some reason,

most animals don't cross. Nobody knows why. I mean, you can literally see how close these eyes. Like, if you look at the Indonesian island chain where the Wallace line is, for some reason, you go to the right of that line, as we're looking at it on the screen.

You have marsupials and tree kangaroos and thylacine and marsupial lions and all these things. You go to the left of it. You have tigers and wolves and canines and all the normal. animals that the rest of the world has. But for some reason, nothing crosses this wall. Those animals do not cross over into the Wallace line.

Are there any... Completely unknown as to why. So there's no... Are there any hypothesis? Is it like magnetism or something they think maybe? I'm sure. But like zoom in there and look at the Indonesian chain, which is the bottom. I don't know if you can zoom in. Like the islands literally are like a quarter mile apart and yet the animals are not connected.

Like completely different species on one side of the wallace to the other. Got to be some kind of six. sense, man. It's got to be to do with magnetism, I'm saying. Pat, any theories? No, I was just trying to remember because at one point years ago on the podcast, we talked with BTG's obsessed with the Wallace line. Yeah, he's brought it to, he's talked to me about it before, too. Yeah, I know he wants to do some, like, big expedition. Yeah. But isn't there also something where, like, one side of the line is much more studied than the other? Oh, I don't know. Probably. I mean, BTG would be the best person to talk to about it that I know. But it's just

fascinating that you have all these marsupials and all these different animals on one side and then all these like mammals and more normal animals on the other. It's unbelievable. It's fascinating. Okay, so I think we should play a game. Let's do it. Call you got a jingle jangle? I love games.

We're jingle game. Oh, I know what this is. So you guys got me all fired up on my trip to Vanuatu. My wife now listens to the podcast, which means I'm going to have to hear about this. Yeah, it's not good. What about the bonus pods? Let's not get into that.

I don't know, actually. But I had an idea after you guys got me all revved up on talking about my family trip to Vanuatu. Let's do a top three DFL family adventures. Completely hypothetical. I would say taking my family to Vanuatu was on that list for me. I've checked it off now. So let's go. Completely hypothetical, top three DFL, taking into account your spouses, your children, things they would love and

hate top three DFL. And do we have to take into account the fact that the kids are going to ruin everything? No, that's just a given. Okay. Yeah, we know that that's going to be the game. Boy, okay. So number three. Go ahead, Skinny Pete.

Thanks. And on the Skinny Pete note, there's a Taco Bell, a couple of them around the U.S. where they serve alcohol. There used to be one in the Denver airport. Nice. Interesting. I think there might be one in Vegas. Like a very, and I think maybe somebody sent me a, uh,

a picture of one in Australia, I believe. So I'd go to that Taco Bell in Australia where they serve booze. Oh, that's where that was going the whole time. I had no idea. It overlooks a beautiful, beautiful, the ocean or something. Maybe the one in Australia. Now, it's an adventure. It is an adventure.

No, come on. Do an adventure. Stop. These are my adventures. This is all the way to Australia. You're kidding me. Just getting there with kids. Look at this.

That's what I'm talking about. It's like a beach shack. Where is this? Pacific. That's right. Where is that? Pacifica. Pacifica.

Isn't that in California? Yeah. Oh, well. That's not in California. Sure is. Pacific now you want to go. See? A freestanding boozy Taco Bell can'tina in California.

That's wild. So that's number three. It's a real trip. It would be an adventure getting there. Yes, it would be. Number two, listen, you guys, I am not as well traveled as you guys, so I don't know that many places. But number two would be, again, somewhere in the U.S.

I'm going to take my kids back to the Midwest. And we're going to go up. to do some camping up in the Wisconsin area in the woods where there's lakes and, you know, just rough it. I mean, I know it's not. You could look for Sasquatch sign. You could look for sad. Two guys just died recently looking for Sasquatch.

You hear about that? No, is that true? Yeah, in Oregon, I believe. Huh. Yeah. Poor bastards. You know, we could try looking for Sasquatch up there. But, you know, listen, we'll go when it's a little bit colder, it might snow.

So we'll go in the fall to make it a little more adventurous. Okay. Plus, I'm taking a kids. So, and number one, and I know we've mentioned it before, but I just saw this amazing video of, I believe it was, I want to say it was Norway, Northern Lights in Norway. But there's a lake that a frozen lake where you can ice skate and it sparkles. Like Kyle furiously Googling Norway lights sparkling ice skating. This right here, dude. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

So I want to go here like, you can ice skate. skate on this, these sparkles on the lake and the Northern Lights dude. That looks awesome. Yes, this is my number one. Let's see where this one. Where is it? Finland. Finland. Finland. So we'd go there and, you know,

it's adventurous. That's good. That's a good pick. That's your number one? Yeah. That's your number one. Oh my God. That's my number one for sure enough. Understandable. What's your DFL the Vanuatu trip you just described? Oh, God. He wants to go on. Yeah. Gosh. DFL is got to be just, shit. I mean, a regular Taco Bell. I was going to say a regular Taco Bell anywhere because the prices are outrageous and they don't serve booze. So, okay. Fair enough.

Come on. It's me. I, this is what I'm the current guy. That is your life. Thank you. That's, that's your bubble and you live in it. And you redeemed it with that last one. How incredible is that? That Lapland died. That's pretty cool. It's amazing. It's existed. Yeah, I like it. Okay. Have you guys, I'm going to kind of borrow from you there. Have you seen videos of, I think, I think it's in Quebec. There's this, like, frozen trail that they turn into this massive ice skating thing. Oh, you and I texted about this. It looks fucking awesome. But they also have, like, igloos, and it's like a winter wonderland. That sounds incredible.

It's in Quebec, I think. And you basically can just ice skate for miles through this, like, magical forest. Oh, that's awesome. You're going to do this with your children? Put them on a sled? How are you doing that? We've got to be out of backpack. Yeah, backpack it.

I'm not a particularly good ice skater. Yep. You can have one of those little walker things that they use. Yeah, exactly. It just looks real fun. I'd like to do that. Okay. I would tackle the Honolay Bay waterfall hike in Kauai.

Okay. You love that hike. It's an amazing hike. It's muddy. I've done it with you. We did it. We did it. Yeah.

Could put the kids in backpacks and do it. Sure. Four miles, I think. But it does end in like this very magic. majestic waterfall and swimming hole. Okay. That's real nice. So I'll tackle that adventure.

It's nice and easy. You're back at the resort by 3 p.m. Okay. Number one. Number one. People are going to think I'm a one-trick pony with this, but I would genuinely like to take them to see the fjords off Nook Greenland. That's okay.

Boating around those islands. Fair enough. stopping at various just unnamed islands and adventure and peeling sea urchin right off the rocks. Now for the listeners who don't know, what is a fjord? I don't know. It's a valley carved by a glacier that's filled with water. It was really because I didn't know. Thanks for us.

Thanks for it. I know what it looks like, but I don't know what it is. Fjords and your DFL, Madagascar. Never going back. Why not? We had a rough trip Both times he had a rough trip. Yep.

You've seen what you had to see? Okay. That's good. Now that Vanuatu is off the list. Yeah. Okay. Let's see. Alaska's gone too.

The polar bears are gone too. I didn't take the family for that. But no, that would be a terrible idea. All right. Number three for me is to take the family to the Amazon. Because I think my son would love it. You catch tons of snakes. and turtles and stuff in the river.

You know, you can fish and catch fish all day long, which my son loves. Beautiful. There's lots to see. It's relatively safe. People think of the Amazon as being dangerous, but compared to most other, like, jungles and places in the world, I'd absolutely let roads, like, run off into the jungle. Are there a lot of, like, you know, warring tribes there? No.

I mean, there are some places, but not where I would go with the family. That's number three. I think an Amazon trip with the family would be incredible. Nice. Number two for me would actually be Madagascar. Okay. For similar reasons, but to go to the parts of Madagascar that you can just, like, if I could take my wife and kids out on one of those night hikes where you catch 30 different species of chameleon.

Yeah. And then, you know, it's just like it is an adventure too. You can get to the ocean. You can do the beach stuff. You can do the tropical stuff. You can do the jungle stuff. You can do the desert stuff. I think that would be up.

Imagine catching Tenericks with my kid. Go freaking nuts. That's the thing in the center. It looks like a hedgehog. That's a Tenerick. Oh, nice. Yeah, you go nuts. Number one would be like a real African safari.

Like, not necessarily sitting in the land cruiser, but like being able to take my family to the kind of safari that I grew up doing, like walking through the bush with a gun on my shoulder, teaching them how to track, teaching my son how to track animals and read spore. That would be awesome. I feel like you'll probably end up doing that. I'll probably do all three at some point. Yeah. These are my top three right now. DFL, tied for two.

Because I'm thinking about what my family likes, okay? Okay. Number one, bottom DFL, a sailing trip through the South Pacific. For the reasons I just explained, I would love it. I would love it. I die by fish, blah, blah, blah.

Kids are stuck on a sailboat. Can't go anywhere when you're not on the island. Some of those crossings are like five days. Imagine being stuck in a small fiberglass tube with your wife and two children for five days. Well, they're vomiting. Yeah, while my wife is undeniably sick and useless the whole time. That'd be rough.

And second to that would be snow camping. Really? Can you imagine snow camping with a toddler with an infant? No. The whole time you think they're going to die of hypothermia, you can't let them go. You can only probably leave the tent for an hour at a time and then you're back to being stuck in a tent with your entire family.

And the whole time you got to figure out ways to keep warm. So that's all you'd be focused on. I mean, fortunately. Right now in the studio. Fortunately, my baby is clinically obese, so he'd be fine from a warm standpoint. But like, the whole time I'd be like, he's going to die. Like, if he touches the snow, he's going to get, he's going to lose his fingers, he's going to get frostbite.

Like, I just, I can't imagine snow camping with children. It's funny that like, you're worried about that yet you let your wife strap him on the back and like go through, go through big swells. Because I know the ocean. I'm not a cold weather guy. Yeah. Like he's a cold weather guy. Like he likes the Greenland and the snow.

I'm not a cold. I don't know. Like I've done it. I've been to the Arctic. I've done all that. But I'm not like comfortable in it like I am in the ocean. I knew the baby wasn't going to die. Yes.

I knew he was absolutely going to get salt water in his face and scream from his eyes stinging and all that. I knew he'd be fine. I don't know the cold like that. I can't read it and be like, oh, we're going to be fine. I'd love, I'd love to hear what the Browsner is, what their best DFL, top three and DFL trips would be to take their families on. Yeah. Drop it in the country. Comment? Where are you taking granny?

Like, what's your DFL to take granny? Kyle, what's your DFL to take your grandma on a trip? Philippines, where she's from? Boy. No, he's Guamese. Oh, yeah. Probably like some kind of African safari. Yeah? I think if I took my grandma on African safari at this point in her life, I'd just leave her out there. I just like, grandma, go for a walk.

Like, go for a nice walk. Take a nice night hike and just let just become part of the ecosystem. Yeah. See those kitties? Go pet them. Yeah. Geez, Louise. Let us know what you think. Give us some ideas. You know what?

Good night, everybody. Good night. Wild Times. Dot Club forward slash info for the links to everything you need. Neil Patrick Harris, NPH. GFL? No problems here. Good fucking luck.

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