Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Forrest Galante vs. Coyote Peterson, Maine Shark Attack, Saola Update (Asian Unicorn)

Episode Date: September 7, 2020

Forrest tells us about his terrifying adventure swimming with bull sharks. And who would win in a fight between Forrest and Coyote Peterson? We're talking wildlife news, everything in the title, AND MORE! Join us on this weeks adventure! Listen anywhere and watch on youtube: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/info We love you!

Whoa, God. What's up, everybody? It's Forrest Galante here, zooming in for podcast episode 23 of the Wild Times from a beautiful area north of Seattle. I'm joined today by my good friends, the producer, Mr. Patrick DeLucah. What's up, Pat? Hey, pal. How are you? You look sunburned, mate.

I did. I've been camping. I've been sure it's optional for like three weeks straight. Of course I'm sunburned. You know me well enough to know I'm always sunburned. Fair enough. And Mr. Pig Trash himself, the professor, Peter. What's up, buddy?

Hey, guys. What's going on? Everybody drink. Forrest has his shirt off, and that is rule number four on the Wild Times drinking game. Cheers, mates. Do we have to play the game? My vodka lemonade matches the sunset and Forrest's skin. That's racist, bro.

Relax. Forest, what's, I love the Pacific Northwest, man, up there. The Seattle Sound, fucking Bainbridge Island. Beautiful. Adorable. Beautiful. Yeah. Bainbridge.

What do you got going on up there? Well, we came down out of Montana. I've just spent the last week fly fishing up in the yak, which is this incredibly remote region of Montana. Grizzly bears, tons of trout, beautiful crystal clear glacial water, living out of the camper on top of the truck. It was epic. and then drop down through Idaho,

fished a little bit, and made it all the way here to Seattle in two days. I've got friends here, I'm spending a couple days here. And then on Tuesday of next week, I'm going to the Dolls of Oregon to fish for sturgeon. Then I'm meeting up with some friends

to mushroom hunt in Northern California, and then after about a month, I'll finally be home. Man, you are an adventure. That's pretty good. Life. What's it all about, you know? Forest mentioned fishing twice, listeners, that's two drinks. Everyone take two sips.

No, that's not, that is not in the game. It is. When Forest Missing Fishing or Flipsch. All right. I like fishing. What can I say? That's a fact. So what's come across your sort of mobile office desk this week that's got you excited? Yeah, these are the big questions that people are asking. What's going on in the desk that's clearly built into your truck that you're living out of? Yeah. Yeah, you know, what came across my mobile desk this week that I found to be pretty fascinating was I read a story about a guy in the early 19th century who was a railway worker named James Wide and he was hit by a train and lost the use of his legs. Fair enough, this happens.

So he was reassigned to be a signalman at a station in South Africa. So one day the guy sitting there at his signalman station, whatever the hell that looks like. and he sees a baboon driving an ox cart. So he's like, hey, this is a surreal story. Stay with me now. And he goes, hey, I got an idea. So he caught the baboon. He took it home and he raised it to be his personal assistant named Jack the baboon,

who was incredibly intelligent and was able to learn to work the track switches and did. He actually became, the baboon actually became the signal man for almost a decade. Well, James Wyde just goofed off, and I'm guessing Jay O'd in his weird station in front of his baboon. And this baboon just ran the railway. It's like, how incredible is that? It's bananas. And did he ever have any issues or did he have a perfect record? No, no accident.

No, not. He was never once sighted. He was the best signalman they got. Like, on big traffic days, they'd be like, get Jack over here. We need the baboon. And you have a bushel of bananas? How many bushels of bananas do you think? got paid every week.

Just like minimum wage banana. I'm guessing he was a slave baboon, which is brutes. Most likely. Yeah. But no, I think it's pretty cool. What experience do you have with,

what experience do you have with baboons in the wild? I have none. I have some because they're native to Zimbabwe. And so growing up, we had a couple different encounters in baboons. I think, Patrick, I think I told you the story. We used to do this thing,

which was super cruel and really funny, where we take Sazzo, which is like this African cornmeal, and we'd wrap it in newspaper, right? We'd throw it out for the baboons, sads of bread, whatever. It doesn't matter. And they'd know that there was something in there, right? And they'd start furiously unwrapping the newspaper, and they'd get to the Sazza, and they'd just stuff it in their mouths

and be like, this is so exciting, this is so exciting. And you do that like three or four times, right? Then you take a rubber snake, like the kind you buy at a kid's store for like, you know, 30 cents, and you'd wrap it in the newspaper. and throw it out, and the baboons are just, they're in a frenzy at this point in time, just excited for more and more food. And you throw this out, and the baboons would unwrap it ferociously and get to this rubber snake and panic so much, they would literally faint and pass out.

And we would just, we would laugh in hysterics. Like, baboons do not like snakes. And so for them to, like, be holding a snake in their hand, it would literally make them pass out from fear. And it was so funny. Are they pretty intelligent to where you feel like someone who's not a, biologist or animal trainer could teach a baboon to be a signal man on the rail line? Look, I don't have a ton of signalman experience. I don't know what that entails, to be quite

honest, but they are definitely smart animals. I mean, they have complex social structures. They have hierarchies. They use tools. You know, they'll crack a Beobab seed with a rock. They're pretty smart animals. And I think they're pretty, they're more trainable than you think. Like it's a common animal in movies like Jumanji and things like that where, you know, you see these animals performing pretty complex tasks. So, yeah, I totally, I believe the story. I buy it. Yeah. Baboons, the only baboons that I know are you two. And also, Forrest, it's interesting that you played that game that a lot of young gentlemen do with their girlfriends at the movie theater where they put their dicks to the bottom of a popcorn hole. And then scare the woman when the snake pops out.

I think that's... No one ever has done this. Because in order to do the old penis through the popcorn basket trick, that assumes that you've brought an exact donut with you to the theater. And you've cut... Like, it makes no sense. Well, Pat, I imagine... I imagine your dick is as sharp as your tongue.

Let's think about this for a second. Are you flaccid? Are you hard? Like, how are you thumbing your penis through this weird popcorn? hole and then she literally has to get down to the grainy kernels and it's like, oh, what's that thing? I think it's just, no, when you're that age, and I'd like to hear about this from the biological perspective for us, you can, a woman can touch the tip of your pinky toe with her fingertip and you will have an orgasm in your pants.

I mean, it doesn't take much to get a boner when you're that age. I spent the, I spent the, it takes nothing. Yeah, I spent the entirety of 2002 with my bow. owner tucked into my waistband. I don't remember a time I was not hard as a rock during my teens. With your tiny Hogan as we learned on the last podcast. All right, so we've got some questions coming in from people that are watching live. First one that I think is kind of interesting. Forrest, how do you keep your beard so slick and clean? These are the big questions. You know, I actually knew that we were podding it up today.

And I cleaned up because I have been in the... the bush for about a week and I looked real scruffy. So this got a little shave, this got a little shave, the neck got a little shave. I combed it because here's the thing. It can go, it can go the other way pretty hard, pretty quick to where I just look. Yeah. I mean, it's not, you know, a little fingerbrush in the right direction, go with the jaw line instead of against it. And there you I'm basically like, you know, I look great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Incredible. It's hard to picture you without a beard. I imagine you just look terrible. I mean, I know you say I look like a potato body and face, but hairless, have you seen your face? Have you seen your face hairless in under a decade?

Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I shaved everything down to a mustache that I, I died green and red for Christmas, I think, four years ago. It's a little potato. It is. It's a bit potatoy. Yeah, men's faces are not intended to be bare. I agree. And that's why we grow hair because we literally look like Mr. Potato. It's no boy. When did you get? So I saw this one story that I thought was pretty interesting. So Bowhunter in Oregon, it's hunting elk.

Okay. Shoots a bull elk, which is what you're supposed to do, right? You're supposed to kill the male elks. He's got his tag. He's all excited. You know, he'd been in a wait list for the tag. Finally gets it after three years. goes out, he sees it, he shoots, arrow sticks in the elk. Doesn't go down.

The elk starts taking off. So he stalks the elk until nightfall, at which point he just, it gets too dark. He can't continue to track the elk. So he takes a little nap, sun comes up, heads out with his buddy, and he's hot on the trail of this elk, and he finds it. It's got the arrow sticking out of it. Okay. Takes another shot, hits it with another arrow. now the elk's like all right motherfucker like i sort of didn't see who shot me the first time

now i know that it's you it proceeds to charge him and gore him to death oh yeah good good right i mean it's not good but how does this happen i mean look i know that it's tough to be a bowhunter but like what what do you think happened here did he just like shoot it in the wrong place 100% i i've never bow hunted i know nothing about how you kill an elk with a bow. Yeah, so you have a couple vitals that you have to hit with the arrow. It's pretty much the same as what you have to do with a bullet. Like you have to hit it in the lungs. You have to hit it in the heart. You know, those are the ways to drop it. So this guy made a poor shot. The animal took off fleeing. He tracked it down for a day or two, whatever you just said, you know, all into the

evening and then early the next day, saw the animal again. The animal was wounded. It's a bull, meaning it's full of testosterone. He shot it again. And the animal felt trapped. It felt corner and said, look, I have no other option but to fight for survival at this point. So he turned on the guy and gourd him to death. And, you know, frankly put, I wouldn't say good. I eat elk. I enjoy it. I trade.

Joe Rogan gave me 40 pounds of elk the last time I saw him. He's like, hey, Forrest, you gave me a piece of white sea bass that weighed, you know, a third of a pound. Here's 40 pounds of elk meat. And I was like, hey, this is pretty sweet. Yeah. So I'm not saying good, but, you know, these are wild animals. And bull elks, they rut, they fight, they're gnarly, full of testosterone, big creatures. You corner one, you're going to lose.

And this guy lost even with two arrows in that animal. So it just shows you how powerful they are. It's weird, man. I was in New Mexico maybe four or five months ago with our buddy Mitch. And we were in this place called the Valle, which is just incredible. It's up in the mountains like 8,000 feet. I don't know if you've ever been there. But there's lots of bear.

There's some random free-roaming bison that I think a far. farmer set free at one point. And just a fuck load of elk, it was incredible. Every night at sunset, like right before sunset, you'd hear them start bugling

or trumpeting or whatever it's called. Bugling, that's right. There were elk everywhere. So like, you know, during the day you wouldn't see them, but around dusk,

we would just, I guess they're herds, but hundreds and hundreds of elk. And we'd just be kind of walking around, Mitch is holding his red. And at no point did it ever seem like, oh, They had no interest in us.

Right, right. So apparently you have to shoot it in the asshole with an arrow to get it to take. Forrest, what is an elk bugle sound like? Can you mimic that noise? You're very good at animal sounds. Oh, man. Put me out of the spot here. I really, I'll try.

Well, what does a bugle sound like? It's like a... Yeah, it's pretty much that. It's that, but it's also definitely not that. It's like a boo. It's not that either. Yeah. It sounded good.

It sounded a bit more like a turkey. Yeah, I don't know how to do it. I can do it with a reed, you know, a hunting read, but it's a big, boisterous sound. It calls out over the valley. It's a beautiful sound, really. I was hearing it up in Montana this past week. Same thing as you said, Patrick. I actually didn't even see one, but we heard them around dust calling in the valleys.

And it's really a beautiful iconic sound. It's, you know, to me, it's like the, it's the, it's the, audio symbol of like the American Northeast or, you know, American West, really, not Northeast, northwest or American West, where you just hear that beautiful elk bugling over the valley. And it's just like, I don't know, it's beautiful. It's amazing creature. Nice. This is pretty cool.

We have a lot of people throw in question and it's hot and heavy in the live chat. Yeah, it's pop. I like this one a lot. This is coming, everyone's going anonymous. Put your name in there. Yeah. Beeps? Don't be, Wild Bunch.

Brostners. This is a good question, though. Forrest, I feel a little slighted that no one's specifically mentioning me. Forrest, do you know if anyone has found more information on the Saula? Oh, great question. So give a little background on the Salwa. Of course. Yeah, of course.

So Patrick and I and whoever Anonymous Number 12, make sure you recognize that Patrick was there. Patrick and I went to Vietnam. We met up with the Sala Working Group, which is headed up by a guy named Bill Robeshad, who is looking for the Sala. Now, Will, if you're on the call, if you can pull up a picture of the Sala for those watching, that'd be awesome. The Sala is one of the most strikingly beautiful creatures to ever walk this earth. It's a bovid, meaning it's related to a cow, not a deer, and it's super cryptic and beautiful with these white patches on its face and these incredible horns. and it's known as the Asian unicorn. And the reason it's known as the Asian unicorn is it's so symmetrical, it's horns,

that when you see a profile of it, the horns align to look like a single horn like a unicorn. Anyway, Patrick and I went into Vietnam looking for the Sala. We met with the Sala working group. We set out trail cameras, all kinds of really fun stuff. Now, to answer your question, there it is. Look at that creature. I mean, it's just striking. Crazy looking.

Beautiful animal. Those are scent glands on its face. that you're seeing there, those white markings on its face, which is incredible, it rubs its face against trees to leave a scent behind. But to answer the question, has there been any more information? The short answer is no. You know, there is still a Sala working group. They're still out looking for it.

Nobody has definitive proof of an existing Sala since, I believe, 2014. I have to double check that. But it's been, it's really been a minute. And it's great that there is still a working group looking for this animal. I strongly believe this animal is extant. It's still out there. So do the members of the Sala working group. But yeah, sure enough, there hasn't been any info for quite a while.

I don't remember if this made it into the episode. Oh, people are going to have to drink in a minute because one of the drinking game moments is about to happen. Everyone drank. I feel like that's a... Finish your beer. Thanks, dude. Moment. Right.

I don't remember that this made it into this. Salah episode. But, you know, when we were talking to some of the villagers, legitimately, when Forrest was showing them the picture of this very, very distinct Salah, they were like, oh, yeah, yeah, up there. Yeah. Yeah, right. These guys, but the thing that puts it in context is, these guys go into the jungle for a month at a time and get lost. For example, the cave, Hansong Dung Cave, which we went and explored, It's the biggest cave in the world. The ceiling's 300 feet tall.

It goes for miles and miles and miles. There's rainforests in the middle of it. Incredible. The guy who found it was one of our guides. He had just been there. He was a guy from the village, the nearby village, went up on a several-month hunting trip, found the entrance of the cave,

came back, told people about it, and it took him five years to find it again. Right. That's crazy. So, you know, they're up there in the jungle. They see a Sala dart, by they catch a glimpse of it and that's it yep you know and they maybe see that every 10 years so they're they're out there um but unfortunately since we left about a year ago uh we haven't gotten any

positive updates or anything like that no it's really sad ben what's interesting is this animal was only first described in was it 95 2002 i can't even recall right now but it was it's not long ago um that this animal was even first identified scientifically and it's It's a weird situation where by the time this animal was described, it was too late, so to speak. Like, we know they're still, we believe they're still out there. They're not in high numbers, but they had already been hunted down so much that it was questionable whether or not this animal was still alive or whether it was extinct. So it's interesting.

The most recently discovered large animal on Earth so cryptic that we don't even know, you know, if it's still out there or if it isn't. Only described in 1992. Thank you, Peter. not you, Peter, a better Peter from the comments But yeah, anyway, I'm going on a rant I've had too much wine

But you get the point God, you're such a light wine Also the... I am too much wine The person who asked that question's name was Tom And he apologized for not mentioning me in the question So thank you Tom Yeah, thanks so. You've made my night And now I feel really good

So speaking of bizarre large animals I had another one come across my desk That drink Is that a drink? Yeah, I come across my desk. Jeez. Fuck, yeah, be a chill. Forrest, you're going to have to yell to get someone to deliver you some more Pinot Green.

My new role on the podcast is just to remind the bristners to drink. That's all I do. It's brosters. There's no I. They're not at a brisk. They're not getting their schmeckle, shortened. I'll call them our fans whatever the fuck I want. I'm the only one who talks to them.

So fuck off, both of you baboons. What came across the remote desk? In 1990, an Inuit substance hunter in West Greenland shot and killed three strange-looking tooth whales, right? We know that tooth whales exist. We know about narwhals. They're super weird. But years later, very recently, a scientist visiting the area saw an odd-looking skull and theorized that the hunter from 1990, the Inuit hunter, might have shot and killed

narwhal beluga hybrids, right? So that's insane. Like think about a narwhal, this like crazy bizarre unicorn of the sea. And think about a beluga, this giant white-ish, you know, odd bump-headed whale. They hybridize. So last summer, a complete genomic study was conducted confirming that it was, in fact, the skull that the scientist found, was in fact a first of its kind, a naturally occurring hybrid, a whale that was described as being larger than a beluga, uniformly gray, with a strange teeth that look like a combination of both animals. So science has actually confirmed that there are these narwhal beluga hybrids,

which is, I mean, like, to put that into context, that's like going out into the Congo and being like, hey, there's a weird looking dude. That's a gorilla human hybrid. Like those things, you know, they're closely related, but they shouldn't be fucking, but they are fucking. And look at that super weird offspring thing. Let's shoot it and eat it.

And that's basically like the equivalent of, to me, what this like beluga narwhal hybrid is and it's fucking it's insane like these what why are these animals reproducing like it's it's nuts they fucking horny it's lonely it's lonely up there in the arctic i mean think about it you live in the arctic they have a big problem the people that live in greenland it's a it's a beautiful i mean it's the most beautiful place i've ever seen on earth um there's they do some mining there and there's only 50 000 people and the government gives people every citizen gets a share of everything that's mined. So once every two weeks, they get a check. That's crazy. Life is very peaceful. It's calm. But two months a year, it's fucking pitch black.

Right. And during that two months, there's an insane amount of suicide. It fucks up people's circadian rhythm. So imagine you're a little beluga. Right. And you're just a little white job of the hut. Well, yeah, Peter, take your shirt off so that people can see what a beluga looks like. Yeah, exactly. Hit the mic. Hit the mic. brutal, big taboo full of all. But you're there and it gets dark. It gets dark. And just like a seventh grade

boy who, you know, if the girl you have a crush on brushes elbows with you in the middle school hallway, something brushes you in the dark and you just get an egregious erection. Yeah. Yeah. And you don't, and then you start going. And you're not like, oh, it's a narwhal. I shouldn't do this. You're just like, this feels amazing.

Yeah. I'm in a complete. Well, I mean, the behavior. That's probably what happened. I'm sure that's a science. I mean, that is a hypothesis. We have no way of testing it, but as far as I'm convinced, we should write a paper. I think I got it. We've observed it.

We'll get it, pub. My dog will hump the shit out of his toys, man. Maybe it's just like starts off as a dominance thing. And they're like, hmm, I'm going to do this till ejaculation. I'm not just going to do this as a dominance thing. And then you get these. Call it completion, please. They're a kid's nice.

Yeah. A tall comparison. What's that, Will? Yeah, let's take a look, Ski, Will. Yeah, real weird looking. That'd be great. Yeah, let's see it.

Let's look at a side-by-side ski of the narwhal and the balug. While Will tries to figure out how technology works, I will say the... Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, that's pretty odd. So that's a narwhal on top. Narwhal on top.

The baruga at B and then C, I'm guessing, is the hybrid. Right, Will? Dude, C looks like an alligator. Really? The hybrid is B. and the teeth are, like, facing out. Can you, you see how they're like, how do we make it go full screen?

Oh, wow. You just got to. Oh, yeah. So, teeth are going out. Like, it's probably not very effective at biting things that way, I imagine. That's probably why it got schmacked by a hunter almost immediately. It's kind of, it's. But look at, look at that for us.

So you've got the narwhal is A on top, it has the tusk. C is the adorable little beluga with its teeth. Adderable. And then when they mate, it's just like, Yeah, it's like, it's a mutant, essentially. That's, that's, that's, that's, I Slam, like, cousin kind of baby. You know, that's like, yeah, yeah, that's, hills have eyes shit, right? Yeah, it really is.

That's what they named it. Yeah, that's, that's no good. That is no. But you look at, I mean, you look at shit like that, though, in the wild, and I mean, man, the world is fucking ridiculous. Aliens don't exist. That exists, but you're telling me aliens don't exist. That was a fucking alien. Octopi. They are aliens.

Forrest, one of the house that we stayed at in Greenland, the guy who owned it, the literal six-foot-nine, psychotic Danish guy, who was also the helicopter, also our helicopter pilot. And we were staying at his house and using it as a production office. He had a narwhal skull with two tusks. Oh, wow. That's right. And he was very, very proud of this. I mean, the tusks are massive. Yeah, like six, seven feet long. Sure. He was really proud of it. He gave us a whole lecture about not touching it. And then he had his little Greenlandic wife, who was about 4'11, very beautiful Greenlandic woman.

And this guy was a fucking prick. Like, he was a dickhead. Like, he would fly us out to our camps. And, like, he would just give us, like, weird lectures for no reason. He was just, he was the worst. Weird. His name was Finn. And one day I was showering, red face drunk.

I was showering, and I'm just like shampooing my hair or whatever. And I like catch something out of the corner of my eye and I just look. And his wife is in the bathroom cleaning the sink. And I was just like, oh. And she's like, hi. And just like kept cleaning the sink and then left. Not very impressed, obviously. She wasn't impressed, but I was also like if Finn like finds out about this, he's going to kill me.

Yeah, you're dead. Like he's dead. I'm in big trouble. Just like an irrational red face shower. guy fucking found it's like a sick a sick com situation comes in yeah a little three's company shotgun you fucking hop out the window and a towel wrapped it's it's funny the characters you meet man i think that's one thing that you know extinct you're live behind the scenes that that we don't talk about enough is like the characters you meet doing some of these shoots and these expeditions like they never make the show right

they're the people that help you with the logistics uh they they line up the planes or the boats or the cars or or help you get into these locations. Well, if you're like an expat living in the Colombian Amazon and you're willing to bribe FARC rebels to help you get into an area to look for a crocodile, you're a pretty weird dude.

Like, you're not, you're not, you're not the average guy that lives down the street that works in tech. Like there's some incredible characters that we've met on these shoots that never make the screen. And I swear to God, we could make an entire television series

just about these characters. Like, they're all bizarre. You know, some of them, Patrick and I made a show on the history channel called Face the Beast. When I got busted in Myanmar, because we smuggled a drone

into that country right after the Rohingya massacre and we were potentially facing life in prison, we had a mercenary from New Zealand fly in to grab the hard drive and leave,

and he wouldn't exchange a single word with us or make eye contact. We literally held a baggie out the window, a brown paper baggie, with a hard drive in and dropped it off to this guy who took off on a plane

so that our footage would get out of the car. It'd be crazy. Like, where the fuck do you find a New Zealand mercenary? Like, that's insane. The world is full of strange people, man. Especially in the wildlife and adventure realm, man. Like, think about Joe Exotic and all those fuckers, dude. Oh, come on.

Don't lump us in with Joe Exotic. Dude, I definitely lump you in. I mean, he's the king of your ilk. Well, you lump. You lump. You definitely lump. Peter. What a flop.

Terrible. Listeners, call in and tell us if a bad, stupid joke flopped. I'd love to hear it. You know, the forest,

when I was producing a show called whale wars, which was the sea shepherds, go to Antarctica. We put 11 camera guys on three ships. They take off right before Thanksgiving. They're in Antarctica for 100 days.

And there is, and then these boats, these ships, they go and they fight against the Japanese whaling fleet that are whaling in, international waters where they're not supposed to be, but nobody really wants to fuck with Japan.

Right. So these guys go and do it, and there was some big conflict in season two. They were fucking up the Japanese ships, throwing metal and things into the props of their ships, whatever. So during season two comes back. Now you've got 11 camera guys shooting for 100 days. That's a lot of footage.

That's millions of dollars worth of footage, right? And the Australian federal police at the behest of the Japanese government came and seized all the tapes. Oh, wow. Didn't know if we're ever going to get them back. It's delayed post-production for months. It costs a lot of money. It's a shit show.

So season three, we built a secret room underneath each of the ships. Like literally, like a passage, like you lift up a rug, you lift up a thing, and you go down in this hold. And down in there was a cloning room. That's awesome. So we literally hired two additional people per ship. Their job was just to be in the middle of fucking. Antarctica, just 12 hours a day sitting in a secret room, making copies of every single tape. So now we've got thousands of tapes above board, thousands of tapes hidden in these rooms.

Season three ends, Australian federal police come. Oh, no way. Take the tapes, not knowing that we had cloned them. And everyone's just like, yeah, like, take them guys. Like, we get it. Like, you got to do your job. Just sort of chuckling that, like, we'd fooled them. Yeah, so...

It's crazy the shit you get into them. Well, so what became of that? They thought that they had confiscated the tapes. And then did you air the footage? Yeah, they thought they got one over on us. Right. Yeah, we immediately flew the footage back and edited the show. Did you send them like, did you send them a link to the online version of the video?

So you'll be welcomed back next time? No, they literally released the tapes like two weeks before the first episode aired. Ah, okay. So they must have just assumed... It's got to be hard, though, like. Like just in general, with all the logistical behind the scenes bullshit that you deal with. I mean, it sounds like on every adventure, everybody's really fucking just kind of actively protecting whatever their agenda is and trying to not allow you guys to do whatever you're doing. I mean, you talked about it with the Galapagos thing.

You know, they were like, no, you didn't discover that. Like, no way, like kind of shit. you know, it's not always like that. A lot of times people are trying very hard to, especially with the show that Patrick and I do, because, you know, it's conservation. Like a lot of people want the same thing. But, and Patrick, you know,

we'll get him started on one of his rants in a moment. But scientists are also like some of the most closed-minded people on Earth, right? And I hate saying that as we're talking about my field. But typically, if you're a scientist and you didn't think of it or you didn't discover it or you didn't come up with it, it's a bad idea, right? That's just the, that's like the MO of being a scientist. It's like if I didn't have this idea as a scientist, it's not a good idea, especially

in the field of wildlife sciences. Now, sadly, what happens is ego is getting away, stewardship, bad stewardship for species takes place. Anyway, I'm going off on a tangent, but my point is a lot of the time people are really, really great, but sometimes there are people that just put up roadblock after roadblock after roadblock, whether it's government organizations, conservation bodies, you name it, and it can become really challenging. One of the listeners just, one of the brosters just commented this,

and I had seen this, which I found fascinating, the state of Maine, the very, very northern Atlantic state of Maine last month, about a month ago now, suffered their first fatal shark attack in the history of the state about a month ago. It was a white shark, a great white. Wow, isn't it? The poor lady was on vacation. She had just retouched.

hired. She was retired at 63. She's like, 63 is like the new 43. You know, like, I'm going to get out there. I'm going to be promiscuous. I don't know if she said that she had been worried. She did. She said, yeah.

To blaspheme, a dead woman is I'm going to hell. But she went for a swim. She was only 60 feet away from the shore when a white shark came and, uh, are, are sharks common up there forest? I mean, well, yeah. So, that's. sucks, right? Shark attacks are bad. Yes, we could all agree. It's no good.

Oh, no, he knocked his mic out. Can you hear him, Pat? Sorry, I hit the music. He's hammered off his one thing. He's so goddamn excited. He's in a laundry room. He's fucking knocking his headphones and mic out. Get that shit. All right, all right. Relax. Relax, here, gentlemen. Relax. What up this shark? So it sucks, right? Anytime a shark attack happens, it's brutal. But anytime you enter the ocean, you sign a release in your mind that says, I am no longer the apex predator. I'm not in charge. Anything can happen.

And you have to accept that. I like that. Now, when you're swimming in Maine, you don't expect to have a great white shark attack you. You just don't. Now, there's a couple things at play here. First of all, we know that sea surface temperatures are rising, right? That leads to the shifting of species. Animals are moving into areas that they previously were not.

A perfect example of that is great white sharks are now ranging up into Alaska. This has been proven a couple different times in a couple different places, from the Prince William Sound up to the northeastern part of Alaska. Sorry, southeastern part of Alaska. It's a bizarre phenomenon. You know, it's happening because as sea surface temperatures are changing, it's not like, oh, it's warmer up there. We're just going to go up there because it's warm.

It's more like, oh, my goodness, the food, the prey abundance is moving further north, so we can go further north. So everything is kind of shifting north? Everything's shifting, right? Because the warmer. Yeah, the sea's warming up. All of a sudden, sharks are like, well, I can actually push it.

I can go a little bit further. There's seals up here that I didn't know about. There's salmon and herring and all these other things that I can go and eat further north because I don't get so slow and lethargic going into that water anymore that I can't function.

I can actually go a little bit further north than ever before. Yeah. So, you know, that's, there's a couple other. things at play, but long story short, these animals are going further north and spending more time further north than typically they have in the past because of the rising sea surface temperatures. Now, if you happen to be a swimmer in Maine and a great white shark is there, you know,

I've been to Maine a bunch of different times. The water's not very clear, right? So you're in trouble. Like, frankly put, it's a bad coincidence. You know, it sucks that that shark and that woman and that shark was hungry and they were all in the same place at the same time. But the shark was probably there longer or later than it typically has been historically because of the rise in sea surface temperatures. So that blows. So Forrest, we were filming for a show in the Bahamas. And Forrest is swimming around.

He's riding tiger sharks. You know, not doing anything he shouldn't have been doing, but he's, you know, catching rides. Yeah. They're really, really close, getting us amazing footage. Then we're in Florida off the Jupiter ledge, which is known for bull sharks. By the way, Mark Romanoh.

sharks aggressive they're aggressive right super the most okay aggressive yeah yeah so so typical forest with marcona who is who is forest camera guy on that shoot um and you know he's done blue planet and filmed every fucking thing under the ocean that you can and he says that that jupiter ledge bull shark encounter was still the scariest thing he's ever been a part of yeah and that brings that up with me a lot it was it was it was pretty dice we got those sharks really fired up and it was just it was pretty gnarly. How'd you get him fired up? To complete this, hang on a sec. Well, he didn't, but

there was an Australian man that, I believe our last guest last week was dating him at the time. That's right. He's the one who got them fired up because he was, he was thrashing around like a, literally like a sunfish on a dock. Yeah. That was Laura, Laura's, uh, Laura's, uh, counterpart there. Correct. Correct. Andrew Eucles. Yeah.

X-Liver X-Lefels. I've never seen a man have so many limbs because when he hit the water, it was like he had eight limbs. Like, they were just flailing everywhere. And that just aggravated the shot out of the bull sharks. And they were like... They were...

Peter, it was like you at Taco Bell at 8.30 p.m. Like, they were frothing. By the way, I mean... Two drinks, we have mentioned Taco Bell and you guys are sharing an adventure. That's two drinks, everybody. I'm out of wine. This is a problem for me.

yell just yell to whoever you're going to be loud mute your mic you mute your mic so that you can get more you know grisian mute your mic i'm gonna use my text message yeah technology i'm gonna phone a friend to your point though peter so these guys are you know for about 10 or 12 days every day six eight 10 hours a day just surrounded by sharks you know it's fucking to me who's not a sharkman it's crazy just what they're doing and just dive after die all free dive. Yeah. But we wanted to do this one shot

where I just wanted to see this thing get pulled underwater. And it was at night. And we were near the Jupiter ledge and I just said to Forrest, hey man, like, can you just like jump in, swim over that thing and like yank it underwater? It was a shot that we missed when it happened.

Exactly. I wanted to pick it up. Yep. He was just like, I really don't want to do that. I really don't want to do that. I remember this. Total difference between nighttime and daytime. Yeah.

I've never heard of him declining some type of amygdalous challenge like this. Well, let's be clear. I did it. But you did still do it with very little. I didn't have to push that hard. He still did it. Were you naked? But it was the one time where you were afraid.

Oh, I was sweating. So explain that though just quickly. For sure. Yeah, so we're on this ledge. This guy Andrew Eukols is flailing around. I mean, there's dozens of bull sharks around us. I mean, some of the footage we captured on that shoot is, I don't think it's, ever been replicated. I mean, just huge, fired up bull sharks all around, super aggressive,

pack mentality, super frenzied up. Anyway, we're doing this all day long, right? Like, there's fish in the water, like these sharks are all over. It's just, it's not ending. These sharks are all over the place. Well, the sun goes down, as Patrick says, we miss this, this dummy getting pulled under the water. And, and Patrick's like, hey, can you just swim over and pull it under the water? And I'm like, oh, fuck. Like, I've literally just watched, like, Johnny and Mark Romano punch, like, bull sharks off of me. Me like grab Andrew Euckels. I literally Patrick will remember this, I scolded him. I was like, get in the fucking boat. You're going to get killed out here. Like, I mean, I scolded him like a small child. And then Patrick's like, yeah, just hop in the water.

And I was like, holy shit. Like I can't see a fucking thing. Now, keep in mind, these sharks don't rely on visual cues as being their main source of prey, right? Like, they don't, that's not the main way they hunt. They rely on their ampuley of Lorenzini, these small gel-filled sacks that picks up on electrical traces. And we've had this frantic energy in the water all day long, this smell of fish and blood. And now I'm going to dive in the water in pitch black, where I don't have any ability to see what's coming and go and pull this thing underwater. And I'm not going to lie. I was fucking scared. Also, oh, let me point this part out too. Patrick, well, you'll remember this. There was a very clear, like, color line where the water was crystal clear on one side and like

two foot of visibility on the other. And we had drifted into that like two foot of visibility. And then the sun had sat. So, oh my God. It was just pea soup with these fired up manic bull sharks, super aggressive all around. And I was like, well, I'm either going to lose a leg or this is going to be a pretty dope shot. And we did it. We didn't even use the shot in the show. That's a 15, 16 foot tiger shark that Forrest is rubbing its nose and it's genitalia for some reason.

Forest, so was it skis? Is it scary to be fucking down there doing this or like, I mean, how? Well, the difference is, difference is like we were talking about a minute ago, the visibility. Like, look at this water. It's gin clear. You know what I mean? I can see the sharks coming at every angle. I have control. I understand what's going on. The difference between doing this and this situation and doing it in zero visibility, I wouldn't do it. I would not get in the same situation at night. I would not get in the same situation in three foot visibility. I would lose because those sharks that you're seeing in this very video that Will is playing are coming up

to investigate me. And only because I can see them and predict them, can I deflect the bites and stop what's happening. If I can't see them, that's it. My foot is gone. My leg is gone. My arm is gone. They're in charge. You're not in charge. All you can do is help to control the situation when you can see them. Yeah. So one of the Brosner's just asked when you're in that situation, right so let's say this poor woman who died at the hands of the white shark uh let's say she had turned around and seen it in the water how do you what's an actual technique you could use practically to avoid completely you know defecating horrific taco bell diarrhea into the water and then spazzing out and trying to swim away like how what you actually the worst thing you can do is panic and start spazzing

and flailing like andrewcels how do you avoid that uh it's no one amygdala. That's a practical tip. No, asserting aggression. It's something I come back to. I've said this before on the pot. I'll say it again. If you act like prey, you're going to be treated like prey. If you act like a predator, you are going to be respected like a predator. You see a shark coming at you. Turn and run and flail and kick on the surface. It's going to go, hello, here comes dinner. If you see a shark coming at you, face it head on, you stare it in the eyes. You say, you know, puff up your chest, make yourself bigger, bring it on, swim right at it. That shark,

is going to be like, oh, what's this thing coming at me? Like, this isn't food. You know, food would run away. It wouldn't come right towards me. That's, so that's the first line of defense is your body language. Secondly, you do things like touch them on the nose, rub their nose, over-stimulate that a specialized organ, the ampulae of Lorenzini, that they use to pick up electrical signals.

If you overstimulate that, they have very, there's very little they can do. And you see me in those shots rubbing the tiger shark's nose to slow it down so that I can work with the animal. And that is, that's what you do. You stimulate that organ to the point that it puts them in a trance like state. It puts them into a state called tonic immobility. And that allows you control in that situation. So to recap, the first thing you need to do is drink half a bottle of tequila so that you're prepared to punch a shark in the nose.

And then you go through the other two steps, correct? Same thing I do before every flight. Because then I'm ready to escape a fiery plane. It's hard, man. You have to, all jokes aside, you have to tell yourself. this fucking terrifying, you know, dumpster of teeth is swimming at me. I have to swim back at it, not turn around and run. Like, I have to make the conscious decision to swim at it and assert aggression.

And it's hard to do. Like, don't get me wrong. Oh, so actually, so unlike a bear, with a bear, you just, you stand put. Correct. Correct. Yeah. With the mountain, you stand put. You will actually, you do not play dead.

You don't play dead. I don't know. I'm the layman here. So you just stand there for a bear, a shark or a mountain. You hold your ground. Hold your ground, yeah. You stand there. It's a little different with a mountain lion.

With a mountain lion, you scream at it. You can throw rocks at it. Big. With a bear, you just stand put. You do not move. You do not turn. God. Okay.

But with a shark, you actually will go towards it, you're saying. 100%. Like, is this the correct advice for our wild bunch and brosters? Yeah, it is. I mean, if you're... Disclaim the shit. Now, all right. Disclaim.

If you're at your own risk, whatever forest does, he has no amygdala. Yeah, look, if you've seen me doing it on TV, just do it. You'll be fine. No, no, don't do that. No, no, don't go jumping into water with sharks and be like, I'm going to swim in them. I listen to a stupid podcast with three drunk guys and now I know what to do. Like, that's not the way to handle this situation. But if you're learning to interact with sharks, if you have interacted with sharks in the past

and you're trying to understand body cues and behavior and social, dynamics and you want to assert dominance and not look like prey, try it. You know, if you've been on a scuba dive and you're like, oh, here comes a shark, swim at it. You'll see it'll swim away. Turn your backs, look away, drop your gaze. It'll swim forward to you. These are just little subtle things that you can try. Somebody did ask, do the same rules apply when your girlfriend is pissed at you?

So do you stand there and not move or do you drink half a bottle of tequila and punch her in the nose? Yeah, no, you want to go, you want to go hard on the offensive. Like you want to call her derogatory names, you know, really puff your chest up. In fact, if you can make gorilla sounds, you know, like really getting her face about it, like that's really the way to handle women. And ask me, because I know, you know, I'm definitely the right person to comment on this. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

You've been traveling the country inseminating thousands of women and baboons. Oh, there's the dog. So here's a question that I'm really liking this one, but I'm going to throw this to the professor first. Nice. Who would win in a fight? This is from Anonymous. Who would win in a fight?

Coyote Peterson or Forrest. Wow. So for those who don't know, Coyote Peterson is a YouTuber who everybody knows. Has a huge following on YouTube. He likes to get bit by things and show what happened. He's the guy that when you're looking at YouTube, inevitably, every single time you look at YouTube,

there will be a thumbnail of a guy with a wide open screaming look on his face and like a giant spider biting his tongue. In a fight. So who would win a fight? I'm going to go with, I mean, definitely, I think, Forrest. And Coyote, if you're listening, you should come and defend your position. I'll explain why real quick. It's just because Coyote, I mean, I feel like he could take maybe 30 or 400 punches from. Forrest because he's just so used to getting injured by animals.

Huge pain tolerance. But Forrest has no amygdala. So it's like, I'm just assuming that if it was a real fight, and Forrest already said on air that he fights dirty. So Forrest would come out of it with no eyes. They'd be gouged. His testicles will have been viciously removed by Forrest's paws and Forrest's the teeth.

Like what happens when a baboon? Correct. Exactly. He's going right for the dick. Yeah. So this episode, we're obviously skewing more towards answering questions. This is our first live. It's pretty fun. It's fun. I want to get this one in because I actually, I am actually curious about this. This is from Daniel Kool. Okay.

Spelled the same way as the clothing company that gives us free shit, cool. Nice. Can we ask Forrest about his degree? Sure. As an adult student in wildlife biology, it would be great to know how much he still uses. that, especially the stuff not directly animal-related. And I think this is a cool question because, you know, as someone who studied a farce of a degree, you know, I've never used any, I don't use trigonometry. I don't use most of the shit from high school. I studied policy analysis and

management in college. I've never once used it. So I think what you have here is a wildlife biology student who's like, am I going to use this? Am I going to use this shit that I'm paying at 30,000 a year? It's a great question, Daniel. Every single day in my life. Like, here's the thing. I was a great wildlife guy, right? I was great at doing what Andrew Euckels does, catching snakes, grabbing things, getting them bite me, figuring out what they were by interacting with them.

But my academic understanding came from school, and that has allowed me to publish papers. It's allowed me to further understand the animals that I'm working with. It's allowed me to understand their place in the ecosystem, which is super important. and it's led down this path of getting to a point where I like to consider myself at least close to being an expert on rare species. And that's because of my academic background. And so is it important to get a degree? Yes. Now, if you get a degree, can you be a wildlife biologist with a degree in business economics?

No, you cannot. Can you do it the other way around? Absolutely. Can you go into business and economics with a degree in wildlife biology? 100%. So, you know, I think not every degree. degree serves as purpose later in life. But if you're truly committed to wildlife and you want to be a wildlife biologist, you have to get a degree in wildlife biology or wildlife sciences, et cetera,

et cetera. So it's, it's, if you're in this line of work, if you're interested in this field, I'm not saying you can't enjoy wildlife. I'm not saying you kind of love it and be passionate about and learn from it. But if you are going to take it seriously as a career, you have to have a degree in wildlife biology. So it's super important. And he said, but he's saying like, There's a lot of like math and stats and stuff that, you know, sounds like maybe general ed stuff. Did you have to do all that? Or were you just on some weird program where you just like blended at fish and

head to seals in Santa Barbara? I wish. That sounds like a real treat. I know a lot of hot girls that have fake marine biology degrees that all they've ever done is blend fish and feed it to seals. No, I had to do a lot of math. One of them really well. Yeah, I know who we're both thinking of.

I, uh, no, I do all of that. I love being on the outside of your inside coitus performances. Shut the fuck up. Sorry, go ahead. I didn't do all of that. I had to take stats. I had to take O-Kem. I had to, you know, I had to do math.

I had to do a lot of shitty stuff that I didn't use that's part of getting an overall scientific understanding. And I hated that. I freaking hated chemistry, like, hated chemistry, hated organic chemistry, have never used it since. but the classes I did use, the upper division classes like marine bio, ecology, herpetology, cell biology, et cetera, evolution, those things have served me well.

So, you know, got to take the good with the bad. I'm sure there are academic institutions where you don't have to do all the shitty stats and math, but at least the one I went to, you had to do both. In general, I mean, that's how it is for every degree that you'll get. I mean, it doesn't matter what you do. You have to take a ton of classes that are just fucking brutal. I mean, it really, it's no,

different than any other degree but you know it's the it's when you're in a something that you're actually fucking passionate about that makes you like withstand all that bullshit so that you can actually get done or get to the goal that you want in the end 100% here's another one for the for the professor anonymous asks but what about what about the producer what about patrick he beat the madas he beat the madagascar shit sickness can he take coyote peterson no absolutely not you are are the meagerness, tiniest, dude. You, you're one of those people who works out for vanity and if it came down to it, I don't even think you know how to throw a closed fist punch. It would just be a slap or a series of flailing arms. I don't even know. Have you ever thrown a punch

or a kick? All we've heard is that you got beat up when you were a kid real bad because you were, I mean, let's be honest. You were a nerd. Okay. I just wanted your opinion. I just wanted your opinion. What do you? I disagree. I disagree.

I've, I've, shut up, Forrest, nobody asked you. Okay. That's fair. I'm kidding.

No, no, no, no, go, go, go. I have spent many an hour in the gym with Patrick. The guy has, the guy, the guy has great endurance.

He's got, he's got the drive of a revved up water buffalo. I mean, this guy, you know, This guy, yeah, this guy, look, just give this guy a pair of gloves and point him in a direction, and he is going to cause a shitstorm, in my opinion. Well, so let's circle.

Fucking Tasmanian devil. I have no plan, but I'm fucking, I'll get angry. I love it. I love that. Pat, let's circle back real quick. What do you think in a fight between Forrest and Coyote Peterson? You know both, well, you know more about everything. I know Coyote a little bit.

Forrest, I know really well, and we like Coyote. We do. He's a good dude. We're hopefully going to work with him someday. I think Forrest would win in a fight because I just think he has size, and I don't know, because I've never met Coyote in person, but he looks maybe smaller, and he definitely seems less angry. And so I think for that reason, but I think instead of fighting, the two of them should get

together and figure out some weird synergistic expedition. I think that'd be better than eating the shit out of each other. Absolutely. I wouldn't want to fight him. He's a good guy. Oh, yeah. But if you did, I think you'd run. Yeah, I'd give them the people's elbow, and that'd be the end of the day.

You know, I'd just come down and, mm, good night. That'd be the end. Well, my computer's about to die, so should we get into the Battle Royale? Here's the Battle Royale tonight, right? you're a world-class producer like Patrick DeLucah. Oh, yeah. This isn't biased. No, stand by.

It's not biased. All right. You're a world-class producer, right? Throughout history, you have to pick a span of two notable wildlife presenter guys or gals and take them, you reminded me of this with the Coyote Peterson fight idea, and take them into the woods. and they have to create a television show based around one animal. Who are your wildlife people? I'm talking.

We got Jeff Corwin. We got Steve Irwin. Oh, so you can use dead people too? Anybody you like. Anybody you like in history. Who are your guys? Jeremy Wade, bear grills. People are weighing in.

This is super helpful. Thank you. Anybody you can think of. Who are your guys or girls? Where are you going in the world? And what are they presenting on? Sure. All right. Okay. This is real fun. For us, since it's your question, you going first, man.

I like that. All right. Yeah, good. All right. I'm going to start with bear grills, right? I'm going to take him right off the table. Like, he's a guy. He's your hero, it sounds like. He's a world-class entertainer. And no matter the situation, you know he's going to drink his own piss. And everybody wants to see that. Like the whole reason you tune in to watch Bear Man versus Wild is to see Bear Grills pee in his face and drink it. Like it's, it doesn't matter that he's standing next to a waterfall that's glacial and it's fantastically clean water that the whole of the world love. He's going to pee in his face. And everybody wants to watch this. Now, I'm a producer. I'm thinking for the ratings.

My first pick, this is a Snake Draft, by the way. My first pick, it's Bear Grills. He's going to pee in his own mouth. He's going to do survival shit. We're all going to love it. Okay. Are we're doing a snake draft then? Oh, no.

But you're also supposed to say where he's going. No. Or is that? Oh, we're doing a snake draft. So two guys and then a location. So that's just my first guy. Copy that. Okay.

All right. All right. I'll go next. I'm going to go next. I will draft. I'm not going to draft a location first. I'm going to draft a talent first. Okay.

I am going to take Steve Irwin. Okay. Good pick. Look, I went, when I studied abroad in Australia, we went to Steve Irwin's zoo. He was doing the crocodile show where he fed giant crocs. My idiot roommate, Adam Weinstein, who's now a powerhouse agent in L.A., screamed. As he was handling giant crocs, I want to have your babies, Steve.

And he laughed into his little microphone and said, not right now, mate. So I know he can roll with the ad-libbing style in the way that I like to produce. He's funny. I don't believe he had a bad bone in his body. he's a fucking cartoon character he's great and quite frankly he got big ratings probably even a little bit bigger than Bear Grills

so Steve Irwin and the whole cricky thing okay um whatever I mean you know obviously I don't watch a lot of TV I'm not sure who are the famous hunters or whatever but you said we could pick anybody alive or dead

I'm going to pick a guy who is very stoic he is uh everybody knows who he is. And they will be shocked when he comes back to life. I will bring back to life Teddy Roosevelt, a world-renowned hunter. Wow. This is going to get ratings.

That's a hell of a pick. That is a, that's a powerhouse pick. Yep. Teddy Roosevelt's going to come back. We're going to give him 20th century weaponry. Is there a D in that word? This TV show, listen, we're making a TV show here. I'm a producer.

So we'll get to what he's going to do later. Next. No, you go again. Oh, no, you're up. So you get to pick a second one host or a location, yeah. Okay, so. It's a fucking snake draft, stupid, stupid fucking idiot. Jesus Christ.

I really hate you, too. Love you, listeners. So my second, my second pick will be, we're making a TV show here. So we're going to have Teddy Roosevelt. He's going to have some. some great tools to work with. And my second pick as the personality is going to be the one and only, Bobby Flee. I know you said, listen, I'm making a show here.

I know you have certain specifications, but I'm making a better out-of-the-box show. You'll hear where I'm going with this in the next round. All right. So you have Teddy Roosevelt and Bobby Flee. You are on a path to just smash hit ratings. I've already got my ratings taken care of, and I feel confident in my ability as a producer to just make a better show than at least Peters.

Okay. So I'm going to make a selfish choice here. Okay. I'm going to go with a female survivalist that was on the show last week. I'm going to go with Laura Zara. You pig. You have a fiancé, you pig. It's a dude, I'm not, it's not because I think she's nice to look at.

It's because I want to pair up Steve Irwin with a survivalist, you know, you're dumb shit. And also, I think, you know, she's the only female survivalist I know. I'm going to go with Laura, and you'll find out why in the next round. Very good. Forrest, who do you have? You've got bare grills. You're going to pair them with one more person and then tell us about your show. Yeah, I will.

I will. And here's the thing. I was thinking like Jeremy Wade, he's cool. He catches fish. I was thinking to Jeff Corwin. You know, he's just the knockoff Steve Irwin. But I'm not going that way. I'm not. I'm going to go, I'm going to take, we were going down topical. I'm going to take a left on surprising, right?

I'm going to go with the Dame Judy Dench. Yeah, the Dame Judy Dench is going to pair up with Bear Grills because she is the most prim and proper and difficult human being, I can imagine on the face of this earth. So when the Dame Judy Dench and Bear Grills are surviving where I will tell you in a moment, oh wait, I get two picks in the Arabian desert. and she is, she's sweaty. What? She's fanning herself, you know, like a proper British lady does. And Bear Girls is like, right, if you're going to survive, I'm going to piss in your mouth. The Dame Bird Dench is just, she's going to lose her shit. And it's going to be great TV.

I'm going to get great ratings, you know, and this is, it's weird. You think I go animals? I'm an animal guy. I'm not. I'm going to go, I'm going to go Bear Girls in the Arabian Desert kind of guy. Okay. All right. We're getting some great, great suggestions from the, the Brousners.

All right. One person said Crocodile Dundee. One person said, party boy from Wild Boys. One person wants us to take John Voight's character from Anaconda. Thank you. And then also he said, does Bear Grills love piss more than Forrest loves poop? Yeah. The answer is no.

Nobody loves piss more than Forrest. They do. Fecal Forest. Your show sounds good, but here's the problem. Not good enough. It's a C. out of A, B, and C, and I'm A. No, it's good.

It's good. But as a producer, one thing you have to think about is liability. Am I going to get sued? You've just set up a scenario in which you've killed Judy Dench on the first day of shooting. And had a man piss on the face. That's true. This is true. You're sued.

I'm going to sue you're just for suggesting this. I'm going to get sued just for having this podcast. Yeah, this is bad. career is destroyed over after this one. This is rough. Other suggestions, David Attenborough, so we could do the VO, and Jake Snake Roberts from a little throwback to the 80s.

Thank you for all the comments. This is really fun for us. So I've got Laura Zara. Okay. She's a survivalist. I've got Steve Irwin, who's a great animal guy and an absolute fucking lunatic.

What am I going to do? What am I going to do with them? I'm going for ratings. Okay? That is my path. to winning this battle royale is I'm going to make the biggest hit show. Okay.

What I'm going to do is I'm going to create a bachelor slash bachelor-t type show. Oh, this is something. It has nothing to do with survival, nothing to do with animals. But it's going to be sort of like

one of those like blind dating type shows where you've got 20 women and 20 men and they have to compete in various challenges to win the heart of Steve Irwin and Laura. Great. And in the end, in the end, we're going to watch them mate.

Oh, wow. Live on television. But here's what it's crazy. Jesus Christ. No, that's good. It's on ABC. I know where it's coming out. It's coming out on ABC.

It's a good show. Yeah. It's a good show. But the thing is, it's not going to be like gratuitous porn. No. We will show full penetration. Of course. But at the end, you'll see them holding a baby.

And so it's like, oh, they were making a baby. So it's nice. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. David, Anonymous says David Attenborough would be great for your mating show, Pat. I agree. It's true. It would be wonderful to watch that.

Imagine Attenborough describing hardcore porn. So, wait, Patrick, where is this taking place? Oh, no, wait. Are we on to Peter now? I've lost track. Forrest, it looks defeated and he's hammered and way too hot in the laundry room. The dryer's been running for hours. That's true.

Did you give a location? I don't know either. I'm hammered. What's the sexiest place that you could film a dating show? Obviously, Ibitha. Ibiza. Come on, they're going to be in Ibiza. Paris Hilton's DJing, Steve Irwin and Laura Zererr dancing it up.

This is huge. It's beautiful. It's okay. Honestly, it's, you know, it's ABC at Sunday nights. Like every, all of America's tuning in. We're rooting for them. We're rooting for the baby, you know? Andy.

Okay, sadly. I don't think either of your shows are going to get picked up when they hear, when they see the treatment for my show and the sizzle reel. It will, so I have Teddy Roosevelt. He's been brought back from the dead, which will be the first episode, us bringing him back from the dead. And then we have him matched up with Bobby Flay. And what they're going to do, so they are going to be traveling the world. That's right, out of the box. they are not just in one place.

They travel from place to place. And Teddy, with his 20th century tools, 21st century tools, sorry, he hunts invasive species around the globe. Doesn't matter what it is. It could be mosquitoes. It could be, you know, weird looking mole rats. It could be anything.

Anywhere there is an invasive species worldwide, these two pair up, they go there. He hunts them and Bobby Flay makes a delicious meal out of them and he teaches you how. Wow. His famous mosquito soup. Correct. It's going to be good. Malaria soup, we call it. These are good. It's going to be good.

These are good TV shows. So if you're a Brozner, it's not a bristner. Don't listen to Big Grasner. If you're a brosner, go on to iTunes, leave us a review. We got a drink. I remember that's a thing. Go on to iTunes, leave us a review. Let us know whose show you'd watch. Would you watch

Bear Grills Pissing on the Dame Judy Dench. Would you like to see Laura Zara and Steve Irwin mating and making a beautiful baby live on ABC? Or do you want to tune in to, you know, Teddy Roosevelt coming back from the dead and hunting invasive species for Bobby Flay to cook up and serve you a tasty treat? It's, they're good shows, you know. I'm not going to lie.

I don't think it matters who you vote for. Like these are, these are knocks out of the parks, ratings-wise. I mean, these are good shows. Yep, rocking ideas. And if you do want to go vote, go to our iTunes and leave a 25-star review. Everybody drink. We're talking about comments, reviews. Leave a review on iTunes.

Go to follow us on social media at Wild Times Pod everywhere, except YouTube, where the channel is for some reason because I couldn't change it. The Wild Times podcast. And leave us comments, likes, and talk about how much you hate, Pat, how much you love me, and how much Orris is pretty mediocre. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Also, I just want to say thank you for all the, everyone who's watching live, the constant stream of comments.

It's really fun to see and hang out with you guys. It is. We're going to be more of this. I just want to say tons of great comments, but my favorite was left by an anonymous Brosner. And it's just reads, in the butt. It's a good comment. Taco Bell, Taco Bell, Taco Bell, take three drinks,

Good night. Good night. Good night, everybody.