Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Forrest Galante Wants To Find This Extinct Animal - The Wild Times Ep. 146

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

We discuss a painted dog scam in a Chinese zoo, an extinct animal that may not actually be gone, and a woman got mauled by a bear while taking a selfie. DUER: Get 20% off your order https://shopduer.com/wild Prize Picks: Get a first deposit match up to $100 https://www.prizepicks.com/wild Code: Wild Rocket Money: Cancel unwanted subscriptions https://rocketmoney.com/wildtimes Pre-Order the Battle Royale Card Game Here: https://wildtimesmedia.thrivecart.com/battle-royale/ 🎧 Exclusive Ad-Free Podcasts on Spotify 🎧 Subscribe for more: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh... 💖 Join Our Patreon Community 💖 Unlock exclusive perks: / wildtimespod 🔊 Listen to Our Show on Spotify 🔊 Explore our episodes: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cbFBzf... 📡 Subscribe via RSS 📡 Add us to your podcatcher: https://anchor.fm/s/aee18224/podcast/rss 📸 Follow Us on Instagram 📸 For awesome animal facts and videos: / wildtimespod 💬 Join the Conversation on Discord 💬 Connect with fellow nature lovers: / discord 👕 Shop Our Exclusive Merchandise 👕 Wear your passion: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Enjoy, brosteners! TWT 146 Breakdown 00:00:00 Start 00:01:36 Dogs Painted As Pandas 00:05:09 What Certain Dogs Are Bred For 00:15:05 Grey Ghost Lizard Extinct or Alive? 00:22:26 Living in the Wet Season 00:24:50 Rock Climbering 00:26:31 Lady Mauled by a Bear while Taking a Selfie 00:30:46 Producer Kyle's Date 00:43:05 Bizarre Animal of the Week 00:49:55 The Loneliest Whale 00:55:07 $3B to Ruin Your Day Every Day Jingles made by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-t... #wildtimespod #podcast

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Serve smooth, craveably creamy potato salads with mayo. We all know it's not a cookout without craft. Wow. Time. Ha ha! Get that timer over there. Wow. I thought that was a new part of the intro.

When he did the while. I was like, whoa, we've updated the jingle. Wow. It's just the dude over there doing his dude thing. How's the organ failure? Still hurting. Wait for my test results. Liver, kidneys.

Welcome to your favorite healthcare podcast, the Wild Times, where we talk about Peter's aging ailments. I'm your host, Forrest Galante, the broologist. Joining me is Peter himself. He's slowly dying. We reckon he has, what, would you say four good years left? I think five. Five. Five good.

Five good years left from PhD in podcasting, Mr. Retep. What's up, Peter? other than the organ failure. Doing good. Just to fill in my organs with some salt, salty beverage. I'm happy about it.

That's probably, yeah. It's killing them. It's killing him, ladies and gentlemen. And then we have Papa P himself, the broducer. How are you,

good? What are you working on? Anything fun at the moment? What's going on? Yeah? A bunch of fun stuff, some real dark. Yeah?

Some dark murder stuff. True crime, dude? Yeah, doing some of that. Doing some nature stuff. You know I love to talk about yet, but very fun. I like that. And,

uh, Yeah. Life is good. Life is good. I have a news story that I'm desperate to get into. Can we get right into it? Do the jingle, Ka. I don't want to do any more small talk. Okay.

Okay, Kyle, straight into it. Pull up the photos of those adorable, cuddly creatures that I sent you early this morning. Oh my God. What is that? That's a dog. It's a dog that someone died to look like a panda. Ah, it's a danda. Okay, go to the next one.

A dogda. So to be clear, are these panda bears? Yeah, now I think so. Yeah, they're panda bears. No, no, they're dog. I don't know, dude. Kyle, go to the title. Scroll up.

For those just listening, I want to show you how silly China is. Okay, this is how silly China is. Zoo goers, outrage to discover Panda Exhibit was actually dogs dyed black and white. Oh, my God. Can you believe this? I got this this morning. Roll the video. It's hilarious.

This zoo actually painted a bunch of dogs and threw them in an exhibit and pretended they were pandas. That's insane. They're brilliant. Is it? Did it work? Did they make money? They got busted. We found out that they rent most of their pandas out worldwide.

Yes, but. At the Taiju Zoo in the Jiangsu province. This is what some would call pandemonium. That's the only reason you want to talk about this. I read it, read it in the article. Not an original joke. But like, this is insane that they even did this. And they tried to pull it off.

They weren't even pretending they were dogs. They were like, these are pandas. They have clear dog faces. And they walk like dogs. They behave just like dogs. Not one of them is sitting on their buttocks while holding bamboo. No, they have real dog demeanors. There's a bowl of Elpo in a corner.

I love that. I love that. The article is, it's got this. There's tons of this video that somebody took of the... Yeah, because they got there and were immediately like, that's not the panda that I just paid 1899 to come and see. So they're chow-chows. Yeah.

Ooh, they're as mean as bears. I literally don't know if there's more to the story other than that. I just wanted to show you these dyed dogs that a zoo was trying to pull off as pandas. I mean... It's a dog fishing scheme. So, I mean, would you be pissed if this happened to you? Furious. Well, did they...

Did they say they were pandas? I think so. Yeah, no, they did. Yeah, I believe they, they advertised this as a panda exhibit. Okay. Not a died dog exhibit.

Nope. Nope. Dude, but I will, I will be honest. You guys, I think you guys have seen this guy, right? Go to, go to Instagram or TikTok or whatever and go to Gabriel Fetosa. Was he the one that was going to make Charlie a thigh of scene? Yes, yeah, we talked about it. This guy does dogs in all kinds of critters, right?

Yeah. I would absolutely go to a zoo that was just like, look at that. Look at the giraffe dog here. I would go to a zoo to just see these dogs. If it was the thing, yeah, I wouldn't be... No, well, I don't know what that. That one's a watermelon. Dude, I don't bring this guy up enough.

Like, this stuff's amazing. Dude, yeah. The pit bull painted like a, like a leopard? It's insane. That's crazy. It's bonkers. But here's the thing. They still just look like dogs and costumes.

Correct. For sure. Correct. Like, you wouldn't put that pit bull in and be like, come see the new leopard exhibit. That tiger looks like an actual. tiger. Look at that. Oh man, they're so good. It's Tigger. It's Tigger. Oh, there we go. There's a panda.

That's where they got the scheme from from your buddy here. They ripped off gave himself. He should sue China. Anyway, that, he should sue China. That is, that, that was my news story that I was excited with, but I do have others. So we went last two podcasts ago, we talked about what certain dogs were bred for. Yes. And I, and I was, I was really intrigued. And so I was like, sir, I was like, oh, like, what could a pug? A pug have been used for. Companionship.

What was a pug bred for? Oh, this is a fun little game. All right. We should do like three of these. We should make this a game. Kyle, get on it. It's the only one I know right now. I know, but Kyle can MC a couple more.

Okay, so what do you think a pug was bred for? We talked about the bulldog, you know. Yeah, yeah. I think the pug, God, it's a heinous looking dog. It can't have any purpose. Short face. I believe. that it was, huh?

You're thinking too hard. It's dead air. I think that it was, it was bred for sniffing shoeboxes. I think, yeah, it doesn't have a long nose so it could just stick its whole head in the shoebox.

It could lick a wall. Yeah, tell you whether, whether or not it's new or used shoes. I think that people brought this little demon demon around with them just to keep other animals away

because they're just like, I don't know, what's that? They were literally bred because the emperor wanted a dog breed that would, just sit on his lap all day long. Oh, bred to be a lap dog.

Literally bred just to be a lap dog. Why did it have to be so ugly, though? It's a good question. I don't know. I mean, I would say that a lot of people think pugs are very cute. They are. They are. They're super cute.

I wouldn't want one personally, but I think they're adorable. A puppy pug is insane. Go to this quickly, Kyle. Pug's skull. Look at the skull of a pug. Yeah, it looks very deformed. Oh, man. That is wild.

Look at that thing. Holy shit. That is an animal's cranium. Dude, if you found one of those in the desert, you would be like, oh, where's the spaceship? Aliens. Yeah, totally. A hundred percent. Look at that next to a canine, next to what it's supposed to look like. The, man, it's so weird that I feel bad for all the inverted face breeds. And other ones where it's all smash-faced, they have a tough time breathing. They're always like, what's, is it the Picanese that's just got like a wall for a face? I don't know

It's gnarly Kyle, do you have any more? Were you able to MCS a couple more here? Give us a quiz What do you think? Don't show us the answers here, Kyle

Come on now. Fair enough. Go ahead. Name a dog And then we'll guess what it's for. Corgi. Oh, I actually know, I know this.

What is it? Well, he goes last then. You go. Oh, God. So the corgi It's like a little weiner, fat, short legs. It's kind of long.

Very popular on the internet. It's, it's, You have it up there, by the way. So scroll away. I see forest reading. I was. I was reading. I told you not to look.

The corgi goes on submarines in World War II to keep them company. I like that. That's a good guess. They're like a submarine shaped. Based on the long body and the small legs, they were made for running through sewer tunnels to flesh out Teen Muton Ninja Turtles. Oh, well, that's not. I'm pretty sure I know this. I think they were bred to be sheep herding dogs because, because I think I'd read this,

their stature allows them to like weave between the sheep's legs without getting stepped on or kicked. That kind of makes sense. Yeah, that's right. Was that correct? But you wouldn't see a corgi and think, oh, that's a badass sheep herd. No, absolutely not. Just because it's so oddly shaped. It is bizarre.

Run underneath your legs. They're wildly cute, though. They are very cute. That's a cute dog. Oh, I just want to let him lick me right in the mouth. I'm not getting a lot. But the tongue like that, yeah, you can lick my tongue. Look at that booty.

Look at that booty. All right, Kyle, give us another one. Give us another one. All right. Another one here. Look away. Look away. I'm not cheating.

Greyhound. Oh, everyone knows this. Known for speed. Yeah. Rabbit hunting, right? Red for racing. I was going to say racing also, but I think it's rabbit hunting. Yeah, a practical use would definitely be like something like that.

I mean, we breed horses for racing. racing, right? I don't know. Let's see. Kyle, what do we got? It says during medieval times in Europe, they were used as sight dogs. The hell's that means? Which, uh, dogs. Yeah, hunting. Oh, for hunting. Okay. Unlike scent hounds, you know. Oh, right. So they use their visual acuity instead of their smell. Just run them down, chase them. I just assume they were bred like that to be faster for racing. All right. What do you, how, I just saw this? How fast do you think a greyhound's top speed is? 40, 45. No, because that's cheetah speeds. So we got to be 30, miles an hour.

37, it says. Wow. I went to the Greyhound races when I was in college. You did? Yeah. I'd like to see one. Is it pretty cool?

It was cool. So I weirdly had a fucking weird flashback to this this morning because of a fucked up dream I had last night. But so my freshman year in college, a bunch of people were going on spring break.

And I came to then learn that like people who like grew up with money, like did spring break trips and high school. What? Never heard of that? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, like, would, like, go to the Bahamas and, like, senior year of high school spring break. So I had no spring break plans, just went home. And, uh, kid in my dorm, so I was at my house in upstate New York, kid in my dorm lived in Miami. And he was, so me and my buddy was from my town called him. We were like, can we come? To Miami? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So we just got my buddy's minivan and drove to Miami. Nice. Got my ID taken at the first bar. we went to. I tried to buy it back. Wouldn't, wouldn't, give it back.

Yeah. So we had a terrible time in Miami for a couple days. And then me and my buddy were like, let's get out of here. This is hell. Yeah. And so then we were like, maybe Daytona Beach is more our speed. I mean, that is the party scene, right? Yeah, it's like a more working class party scene.

Yeah, it's a lowbrow Miami. Yeah. So we got to Daytona Beach and it's a total shit show. Yeah. We were just not in on the fun. And so we had a pretty bad time there. Jesus, sucks. But one of the things we did when we were still in Miami is we went to, went to the dog races,

watched the Greyhounds race. But we didn't have any money, right? So the fun thing is you're betting. You can't bet. You can't do. We were doing like $2 bets. Yeah. It was okay.

But I was just thinking about what a fucking, we tried to go to this club in Daytona Beach. And it was like entire fraternity. sororities together. Yeah. Everyone's like in bikinis in the club and like shirts off in the club. Yeah. We're just like classic picture kind of standing there just like drinking our beers like not. Your jeans and T-shirts.

Not in on it. That's like that that reminds me of very sad. When I first came to visit L.A. in 2009, I believe I was by myself and I was at, I went to like this concert at the pier in Santa Monica. Mm-hmm. And I had like an old Navy hoodie on and like khaki pants. or something silly, just horribly dressed. That's so Midwestern.

Midwestern. Yeah. And I just remember, it's one of those embarrassing moments that you always remember. I, there was like some obviously like super hot chick and like she was with her friends and stuff. And I'm like, I just remember like, if I sit here like a total dork nerd just in his Midwestern. Could be kind of charming if it was the right. No, no, no, no, no. It's embarrassing because of her reaction.

Her reaction was like, ugh. Yeah. Like literally didn't even respond, just kind of turned away. Just gross. Okay. And then, of course, I mean, I didn't care. I was like, but I do care now. Kyle, give us one more.

Give us a hearty. All right, one more. One that you would never expect why the dog was. Poodle. Scroll off it. Okay, you're off it. A poodle. A poodle.

A poodle. Oh, I might actually know the answer to this one. Maybe. My mom has a poodle. It's about this big. That's a miniature poodle. Yeah. That one's useless.

But was it bread as like a water dog? They love the water, right? don't poodles like to go in the water? You got the curly hair for it or something? No idea. Duck hunting dog. That's what I'm going to say. Okay.

I'm not going to steal your... That's good. That's my guess. It's a good guess. It's probably not right. Yeah, I'm going tap dancing dog. That's right. Yeah.

No, it says companion to hunters bred to retrieve birds and dense woods, marshes and lakes. Yeah. Because they had to get in the water, they cut their coats in a certain way to alleviate the heaviness of the hair, but, you know, in certain parts enough to keep them warm. Yeah. I think I'd heard that, like,

loosely before. I think my mom bragged about how her half-pound hamster was once a prime hunting dog or something. But a full-sized poodle is a big dog. Yes, it is. It's a real dog. My mom has a hamster. And you're not a big dog guy, so. I mean, I like big dogs. I just don't have the ability to have one. I live in a tiny house. That's true. So I wish we could have a couple big dogs. We need property for that. Anatolian Shepherd's a cool one. Anatolyan Shepherd? Pull up a picture of an Anatolian Shepherd, Kyle. These are badass dogs. It's also called a cangle.

Oh, yeah. They're big. Oh, yeah, the cangle. By some accounts, they have the strongest bite force of any domesticated dog. Looks kind of just like a very, your very large bouncer friend. So they're, they're bred. I think Anatolia refers to like a part of Turkey, I think, the country of Turkey. Okay.

Somewhere around there, if I'm not right. But I look up why it was bred, Kyle, so that we have the answer. So look at that thing. Mm-hmm. What do you think? that might have been bred for in the mountains of Anatolia. We talked about guarding. Yeah, bear dog or something.

Guarding against bears? That's exactly right. Yeah. It's to protect the sheep and goats from bears and wolves. Love that. And of course, human thieves. Yeah, of course. I like that.

I like that a lot. All right, I got another news story. Oh, man. Ready? Just going. Boom. I'm into it. I got lots.

I've had a lot of coffee today. Like, I'm good. Okay. I have a new extinct species that one. want to go look for. Ooh. Now, here's the thing. Let me preface this by saying that I feel pretty confident that through the many, many years,

I have a pretty comprehensive list of all the missing, lost, extinct animals. Yeah. Never heard of this one before two days ago. Oh, wow. Not joking. And for me, that's like, whoa, wait a minute. Like, where's this been hiding? Yeah.

Pun intended. You've done thorough research on this thing. Pretty thorough. So, anyway, there was a lizard, a skink specifically. in the Tongan Islands that grew up to 18 inches, which for a skink is a really big skink, right? Like most skinks are like, you know, the ones we get in California are like this big. So it's a big ass skink. Disappeared. First documented in the early 19th century by French scientists who went to Tonga,

the Tongan Islands, disappeared. Haven't seen it in, I don't know, 100 plus years, right? Well, new research published by the IUCN suggests that maybe living in a remote area in southern Tonga in the, I'm trying to pull up the name here, owl, EAU, EAU, National Park, I don't know, in Kalu Island, in Tonga, these skinks may have persisted. And the reason being, kind of like, remember that mole we talked about in South Africa,

where my friend was like, yeah, we see him all the time. My dog kills like three a day. Right. This, in these, this Tongan skink is subterrestrial. So it lives under the ground. So it's, this big skink lives, under the ground, it's only active at night or comes out during heavy rains, so people wouldn't be seeing it. And Tongan folklore, which is around, there's a name for it, but it's basically a,

negative deity, right? Like, if you see one come out, it means bad things are coming. So it's been around in oral Tongan folklore for hundreds and hundreds of years and persisted until today among like Tongan people in these areas, but Western science is just like, oh, it's gone because we brought in cats and dogs and all of that. So they just sort of assumed it was gone. Yeah. But there are new stories coming out from the Tongan people in the area going, yeah, yeah, the skink like came out. There's, there's a volcano coming or whatever. Right. So there's like this bit of, you know, it's tiny, tiny, tiny shreds of evidence, but this tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny shreds of evidence that these rare sightings of this allegedly extinct stink, stink, stink,

skink. Allegedly extinct, stink. Stink. Try to say that three times. Allegedly extinct, skink. Allegedly extinct, stink. Allegedly extinct. You're down. It's impossible. Anyway, but yeah. So there is, there's, you know, there are these reports. coming out that this big old skink could still be there. What's the optimism based on? Based on the rumors of the local people that are having sightings. Okay. Around the negative deity of what it is, around the folklore that it's a bad omen.

And they're just very rare to see because they're buried. This photo, if you're listening, come take a look. It's cool. It's the only two specimens of the giant Tongan ground skink that have ever been collected. Ever. Wow. Yeah. I think it's really cool.

Yeah, it's huge. So they just basically stay underground their entire lives. That's a beefy. It's not just long. No, it's fucking big, dude. All right, let's play a game here. It's like a guana sized. We're going to play a game. You ready? Yeah.

We did this once on a bonus, and I like the way it shook out. Your name is Forrest Galante. You are an intrepid explorer who likes to look for lost species. You've just learned about the giant tongue and ground skink. And you have $100,000 budget to go there and find it. Forget about TV shows and all that. Not making a show. You're not pitching a show.

You're just telling me what you're going to do to go and survey for and try and find the ground skink. Oh, boy. All right. Peter, you're up first. What are you going to do? How are you going to find us this big old Lizzie? I'm sorry, I got to find. It's buried.

Well, okay. I mean, this is pretty easy. You got to be simple. You got to get them to come out. They're a negative deity, right? Negative deity, whatever you said. One of those words. It's, you know, you just go.

And what you got to do is you just got to start cereal killing the Tongan people. Oh, boy. Yeah. I mean, just, you know, sneak. So they don't know that you've come to the town, right? Okay. And people just start disappearing. Okay.

And then that's when these lizards appear. Oh, man. Yes. So murder is your strategy. Well, yeah. And then you save about, you know, you save $98,000 for yourself. LinkedIn is pretty amazing at helping you grow your small business. We cannot make your email response time faster.

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VALS through 527. While supplies last, selection varies by location. See associate or Lowe's.com for details. I was going to go similar but different. Because, yeah, the Tongan folklore says that when one of these comes out, something bad's about to happen.

Correct. Right. So I'm going to basically go into some towns, villages, I don't know exactly what it looks like there. And I'm just going to ask around who's the oldest person. I'd like to talk to them and find someone who's really hanging on by a thread. Yeah, sure. And then I'm just going to kind of hang out around their house and wait for it to pop out. How long?

Do I have on $100,000? I could probably live there for a couple years. A couple years. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Easily. Easily. Spend much of my time snorkeling these beautiful waters.

Tonga's amazing. I love to. Oh, you've been there? I have, yeah. Not to this park where this skink is, but to Vavau and Tongatapu. How far is it from, where is Tonga? It's between Samoa and Australia. Oh, okay. So it's way down there. Yeah. In the South Pacific, if you will. Yep. Oh, it's past Fiji. It's further out to sea from Australia than Fiji. Got it sense. I love Tonga. With Jess and I went there for two weeks. Absolutely loved it. What kind of stuff are you doing? I played some rugby, which was, It was fun. Did a lot of diving and spearfishing.

Went and killed a pig. I didn't do the pig killing, but went with the Tongan guys, and they killed a pig. And we did an Umu, like the in-ground oven. Yeah. And then, yeah, caught a lot of sea snakes. Great diving and fishing. I wanted to go do. It's one of the places you can do the humpback whales. Like type in, yeah, Tonga Val Humpbacks. Or there you can see it right there. So it's one of the place you can go there. We missed him by like four days. They left like four days before we got there. Yeah. Wow. They're super friendly. They come in. The diving's incredible there. Spear fishing.

I shot my first dog tooth tuna there. Yeah, it was great. It's crazy. It's just such a tiny, tiny little island, right? It's a series of islands, right? A bunch of little islands, yeah. But yeah, Tonga was amazing. I'd love to go back.

Go look for this lizard and hang out with old people. So what's your actual strategy? You're going to build the cement barrier in the ground? Maybe. I haven't really given any thought yet. I mean, I think you just want to go as miserable as this sounds, all honesty. I think you just want to go in the height of the wet season

and just cruise around at night with a flashlight and you'd be getting swamp foot and you'd be in monsoons and you'd probably have to evacuate a couple times you'd just have to spend time hoofing it looking for the thing to come out. Because if it lives underground when it gets flooded, it comes out, right? Sure. Yeah, so I think that's how you'd have to do it.

It's a miserable survey. It's not a fun shoot. Right, and it's funny because when you think about, you know, the stuffy British guy who went there and was like, it's extinct. You're certain he looked up best time of year to visit Tonga dry season October, right? And was like, went for eight days.

It was like, what a lovely place. This lizard's gone. Well, that's what you guys would have done. No, we would have done the way I just said, which really sucks. But, you know, that's like, that's the problem is like you would go there not during monsoon season for obvious like safety reasons. And then be like, nah, I can't find it anywhere. It's gone.

Is it like known to be like particularly like horrendous monsoon seasons there? Oh, yeah. Okay. The wet season in all those little South Pacific Islands is brutal. God. Like even to the locals who are there or just people who are adventure. No, I mean, look, it's just rain. Like, people live there.

But, you know, it's just like being in the Bahamas during hurricane season. Like, it can absolutely, it can be, it's what a lot of people don't know this actually, hurricane season, monsoon season, whatever. The weather is usually the best weather the whole year. Yeah. Until it's not. Right. Until the monsoon comes or the hurricane comes and then everything's a fucking chaos.

But between those like big storms, it's usually like perfect and, calm and clear and all that beautiful stuff. So you just want to be there during a big storm. What are we looking at average rainfall here, Kyle? Of course it's in millimeters. That's nonsense. 4.4 inches? No, that's, come on, four inches.

We get that in Santa Barbara. Between May and October? I don't know. But it gets a lot of rain. It's a very wet tropical environment. I love the rain, man. I just want to keep talking about it. It makes me feel good.

Yeah, but you love it because you like to sit in your nice house and look at it through the glass window with a hot toddy. If you're sitting in a jungle tent while it's belting down four inches per hour. I think I'd still like it. No, I promise you wouldn't. Trench foot, you start seeing the bones coming out the side of your toes. Would I have like a inflatable air mattress in there, too? It's a float on.

You got to go hammock in those situations. Oh, yeah. I've got to get up off the ground. Oh, I've seen naked and afraid, baby. Oh, wow. Mosquito tank covered hammock. We got these, Patrick probably remembers Tensel. Look up Tensel.

Not a sponsor. nothing like this. I just want to show you how cool these things are. T and Tee, like Tensil. They're a floating hammock tent. Yeah, what ended up happening to them. I still have mine. I don't know what happened to the other ones. We got five or six, but yeah, that's, that's what you want to be in. That looks sweet. So that way, if there's three inches of water under you, it doesn't matter. Yeah. Yeah, you guys did tensils in Columbia, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I kept mine. I don't know what happened to the other ones, but I still have my, like, queen-sized one. Is it pain in the ass to set up? It is. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to say it's not. I mean,

You just have to find three trees that are pretty much perfectly spaced apart. You know, and you can ratchet it so it can be a little bit closer to one than the other. But, you know, if there's a tree in the middle of that clearing, like in that picture, there's no way to set it up. Yeah. You know, so it's a lot more than just like, oh, here's a flat spot. Put your tent down. I'm always impressed by the rock climber guys who pitch tents on the sides of, like vertically on the sides of mountains. I'd hate that.

I don't think I'd like that one. I'd be terrified. I'm going to roll over and roll off the. Yeah, look at this guy. Also, you can't wear a shirt in that setting. No. No. Definitely not.

Look at this guy. That's crazy. I mean, I imagine you keep your harness on the entire time you're sleeping. I'm sure. Is that Honnold? That is Alex Honnold, isn't it? No. It's not.

Oh. But so, all right. I'm going to share some insight here. That's funny. I have to use the facilities every morning when I wake up first thing like those people. What's the situation here? off. With the harness and first thing and it's probably freezing and maybe they got special harness. I don't know, man. It seems seems. There's probably people below you too, right? Yeah, you can't just poop off the side.

You're saying. You got to hold a poop in until it's no more. I mean, I'm sure we have some rock climber, uh, brosners who know the answer to us. Well, have you ever been able to hold a poop until it's just disappeared inside your body? I've never tried to be honest. It works. Oh, yuck. Um, yuck. Comes out your mouth and gas for him. It's like that South Park episode. Remember where they eat the turkeys with their butts and like poop out their mouth? No. Martha Stewart. What? Oh man. That's like peak South Park era. Yeah. It's a big South Park guy. Oh yeah. He talks about it all the time. Dude, until like, I don't know, probably seven, eight years ago, I watched every episode. There's so many episodes. There's thousands of episodes. It's lost me now, though. It's like goes into Randy and like there's like spin-off story. I hate it now.

But back in the day where it was just the four kids getting into nonsense. Yeah. Oh, loved it. So I, years ago, maybe three, four years ago, spent a lovely, had a lovely shoot for a National Geographic show in the Carpathian Mountains, Romania. Cool. I was going to guess. I had no idea where that was. Sounds Romanian, right? Yeah, it does.

It's in Transylvania. So, the thing is, like, you think Transylvania, you think of Vlad the Impaler, you think of vampires and spooky. Transylvania is where the rich people in Romania have their vacuylvania. vacation homes. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it's fucking beautiful. Yeah, it's beautiful. The scary bit is just to keep people away. So see this Dracula's castle here?

Yeah. That's not it. Go to the one. The one to the right. Yeah. Yeah. So it's cool. When inside, it's actually not where Vlad the Impaler lived. He was actually just held in a cell there for like a couple weeks. Oh, okay. At one point. Interesting. That's a cool thing to visit. But yeah, so we were there. We were having a nice time. We did to actually spend some time out at night in the forests up in the mountains.

You know, they have black bear there. Yeah. A lot, I believe, in Romania. Yeah. Yeah. So a couple weeks ago, a Scottish tourist is there. She sees a black bear on the side of the road. And she's like, I'm going to take a selfie with me and the bear.

Always a good choice. Always. Leave your car. go straight to the animal. She stayed in her car. She's smart. Okay. That's different, actually.

But she didn't want them. Maybe there was like some bug splatter on the glass. She didn't want the window. So she rolled the window down. Yeah. Where's this going? Well, it came through the window and bit her. The bear did?

Came into the car? Latched onto her arm as she was taking the selfie. Oh, boy. Well, she must have been very close then. It's not like the bear was in the wood. European brown bear. I was going to say, Black Bear.

typically aren't aggressive, right? Yeah, sorry, it's a European brown bear. Still, that's much worse, by the way. Yeah. You're taking the selfie, you're here, the window, and then through the window comes a bearhead, grabs onto the arm. Yikes. Maldor. How bad was it?

She survived. She survived. She had a really thick jacket on, which they say helped. But it was still, you know, an ambulance hospital trip. She got a good pick. Yeah, that's the real, that's the important question. Did she hit the, the, the, the, the, pick button before. Oh, I don't know. I haven't seen the pick. I'd be pissed. But the victim, victim's the wrong word, isn't it? It is. Survivor? The dofus. So they asked her, they said, why do you think the bear attacked you? What would you guess she said?

My perfume. Lipstick. Like some kind of smell. She's, I'm not kidding. She said that her and her husband were talking about the next, they were talking about food as it happened. I swear to God. And she thinks that their conversation about food made the bear think that she, the camera was food.

Oh boy. Oh boy. It sounds like a Winnie to Pooh. Negative. That bear does not speak Scottish. Yeah. It's not Yogi bear. Gaylic. Wait, did she say picnic? Yeah. That's hilarious.

Good for her. I mean, that really speaks to her intelligence level and kind of explains the whole story. Ties it up right there. Yeah, it really does. It's a mess. The whole thing's a mess. It really does. But, you know, I will say this.

If you're going to take a selfie with an animal that you see on the side of the road, that's a better way to do it. Sure. It is. I mean it. All those idiots you see like getting out of their car to like pat the bison on the head in Yellowstone and then they get, you know, gourd to death. You're like, well, you kind of, you asked for it.

You got out of your car and walked over to it. I think we did it on a bonus podcast. there was a what do we call darwin awards yeah there was the the biker group that was cruising through yellowstone and the lady went up to yep pet the bison and it was just like what like you could see the confusion was just like what are you doing i have to mall you yeah you're you know this is coming lady um yeah it was wild that's pretty funny yeah forest see that you're wearing the same pants that you were you it's the only pair of pants you wear well i told you it's summertime and it's hot and I can hide my matchstick legs.

Yeah, I don't wear shorts very often. But you talk about your doer. You love this brand. You've turned me onto a lot of cool products. Picked up a pair of doer jeans. Yeah. Have you been admiring them, Peter? Yeah, it looked nice.

It looked like the comfy jeans. Stretchy. Comfy. Cozy. I'm very, I'm always in a rush during the work day. Yep. I worked out in them. Because you're always late.

That's because I'm late for everything. I had a half hour. I just was like, I can't spend five minutes getting changed. just have been lifting weights. In your jeans? In these. They're really comfortable. That's lunacy, but I like it.

Antibacterial, dude. They're great. You well. I like mine because I can literally leave the studio, grab my son from school, and go straight out to take them for a hike or go catch snakes or something, and I look just as good sitting in the studio

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Do it. Do it. Do it. Woo. Monday. Game four. Eastern Conference finals. Retep's coming over.

We're going to watch in the garage. Probably crack a couple adult, adult beverages. I'm going to drink three bottles of wine. Yeah, sure. That's right. I think between the two of us, we're going to probably put down six. Good for the skin. It's going to be fun.

Boston, Indiana tonight. It's game four. Boston's up three games to zero, which, you know, you could say it's kind of a, it's not like the best game, right? One team's up 3-0. It's not like a nail-biter. Yeah. But we're going to be real into it.

That's right. Because we're going to have a lot going on on prize picks. The number one daily fantasy sports app. So here's what I'm going to do tonight. I think I'm going, T.J. McConnell more than 14 points because I just like him. I like the cut of his jib. He seems real confident. He's got a nice haircut.

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He's eight feet tall. Well, this is how much I know about basketball, but he's eight feet tall. And I think it's funny that we're both picking our, uh, making our picks based on physical attributes. I know nothing about the NBA. But that's what makes prize picks so fun. It's so easy to play. You just pick more or less on two or more players' stats.

It's the most fun I've had winning up to a hundred times my money so far this NBA season. I know nothing about the NBA. And I have had some real nice payouts. Same, dude. The other thing I love is that the withdrawals, that's super quick withdrawals, super easy. You don't have to put a ton of thought into like how you're constructing a lineup. You just pick more or less. Instant deposit bonus, bro.

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I'm not that into sports, but now I'm always interested in every game except for just Chicago games. You're into, you're into Prys Picks and you're into hanging out with bros in the garage. Wine, six bottles to my dome. No one judging you. Prize Pics. Dude, my mom hits me up the other day. Her internet bill has gone from $35 up to almost 75.

And she's like, crazy. They do it all the time and you never notice, dude. That's how they get you. My mom is 75. She can barely walk. It's like, what are you doing? You utter utter savages, right? So anyways, I was like, I got rocket money.

I love rocket money. Do you know that? So I'm thinking to myself, I'm going to hit these guys up and be like, hey, rocket money. If I have a bill that's not even attached to my rocket money account, will you still get it reduced? And they're like, yeah, of course. So, boom, I was like, set my mom's information over to her spectrum account. they got it reduced by 20 bucks a month. We, so when my wife and I signed up, dude, we'd taken a road trip and put,

my kid was playing the iPad playing a bunch of games. Mm-hmm. Just like little iPad games. Yeah. There's like a one-click subscribe. Literally, I'm not kidding, said subscribe to four little kid games that were between $10 and $20 a month. should be illegal, dude.

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because you went on the date? Is it? Did you got a red lobster? He was. He was in here with someone. He was? Yeah. He was. Was someone in here now? There's no one. Tell the truth. I'm telling you. Don't lie. I thought somebody was. So for those those who don't know, because I think we did talk about it a couple weeks ago on a bonus pod. Oh, was that a bonus? It was a bonus. So, set it up. We have joked about how Kyle sleeps in the studio the night before we record because he lives two hours away. And has a nice futon here. He's got a futon in the other room there.

And so we've joked about how he should try and go on dates, get on the apps, have some fun while he's here in lovely Thousand Oaks, California. A lot of nice ladies here. I have to imagine. There's like 500,000 people here. Right, right. So a listener reached out and said, hey, I'll go on a date with Kyle. Yeah. A female listener, Kyle's a straight male.

And so we said, Kyle, you have to do this. Yeah. We had Edwin vet it. Yeah. We wanted to make sure it was not a teen, you know, a 15 year old. Right. We wanted to make sure it was an adult. A role played the date with him.

Yeah, we tested to see. And then we offered, this is important, to send him on an all expenses paid date to Red Lobster. That's correct. That's right. And Kyle, you did say yes, we have it in video form. Yeah. You said you would do it. But hey, he's the editor, so he could always take that out.

Did I say yes? I don't remember. Oh, yes, you did, sir. You said yes. Yes, you did. Edwin made sure she was an adult. Vetted it. She is.

Somebody want to hit her on Insta right now? Let's see if she wants to make a way out here. Just have her show up at the studio? Yeah. I'll do it. Don't threaten me. I'm not threatening you with a good time. Fine.

I'll do it right now. So really it's like, it's a little weird, Kyle, that you haven't followed through because it's been three weeks. Sure. And you made a promise, Kyle. You did. You made a promise. So what?

Yeah, what's the hesitation? Yeah. Uh, Bouton's not big enough. No, come on. That's ridiculous. We're talking about it. just going to dinner and maybe some cocktails. We're not talking about it.

Where's your mind? Get your mind out of the gutter. You're disgusting, Kyle. When I'm here, I'm working. Oh, come on. He was prepping the show. I don't remember her name. I don't know how to find her on Instagram.

Don't say more than that. Don't say more than that. That's not fair. I'm outraged because it's not often you get things handed to you in life. It's a lovely opportunity to have. It's free. Free lunch. Or dinner.

At red lobster. Lunch. That is nice. That's where rich people go. That's true. Yeah, you can get all you can eat shrimp. Why don't you just do it tonight, Kyle? I'm busy. No, you're not.

Kyle, come on, dude. What are you doing? I'm trying to find her to send her a message per Peter's request. Okay. I'm not just texting. Well, I'm trying to be texting. I just don't know. It's very strange.

I think he, when was the last time you went on a date? A few months. A few months. A few months. months ago. A few months. Where'd you meet her? It's a dry spell. Kyle, are you? Are you not into women? Is that,

is that what's going on here? I am, yeah. How'd your last date go? Where'd you go? Restaurant. Which restaurant? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. What's so descriptive, Kyle. Was this not a first, was this a first date? Yeah. And you went to a restaurant. So you, that's a big commitment. When I was dating, I would, it would just be drink.

Yeah, it's too much. It's an hour of time before you can leave if it's not good. That's right. And plus it's a big expense to go to dinner. So you sat down to a meal? A meal. A meal. Apps?

No. It's just to the mains. Who was paying? I was. I hope so. Don't split. That, come on. Did you split?

No, of course. Come on. Okay. So then in the three months since, nothing. And now he gets something thrown into his lap. And I think he's worried it's too good to be true. Is that true? All right.

I've sent the message. What did you say? Kyle would love to take you, capital love, to take you up on this offer any chance you're in Thousand Oaks tonight. Oh boy. Well, are you staying here tonight?

Probably not. No. You will be now if she said, yes. He doesn't want to sleep on the foot on. This is not up to you any longer, unnecessarily. You've put this out of your own hands by not following up with your promise.

And now your three big brothers have taken it upon themselves to get you straight. I think this is going to turn. into a beautiful romance. He could marry this woman. It could be a love story. There could be kids born someday

and you say, how'd your parents meet? And this is the story. It's a beautiful and romantic story. And where was your first date? Well, it was on this futon in this shithole studio. Do you know what percentage of the shots

you miss that you don't take? What's the percentage, Peter? 100%. Oh, yeah. I like this dad vice that we're giving awesome, by the way. You got to take the shot, Kyle. Got to take the shot.

Kyle, if she writes, back before we're done recording today. Will you promise here live on air that you'll go on a date with her tonight? All expenses paid till Red Lobster by us. I can't promise that. No, come on, Kyle. Make the promise. I can't promise that.

He's killing me. I hate him. I think we should fire him. All right, I got a game. Ready for a game? Sure. I'm ready. All right.

Let's definitely ready for a stick. He just wants to move on. Let's play Bizarre animal the week. Reacher. Oh, what, and cousin fucking tarnation. Was that what in there? Yeah. It's bizarre animal of the week.

How's it work? All right. So this is the game where I give you clues and you find gentlemen, along with you, Brosner's listening at home, guess what our bizarre animal the week could be. Okay. Narrow in. Okay. I can't wait. Here we go.

This week's bizarre animal has a unique appearance with a streamlined body and a bulbous head. Peter. Good guess. Bulbous head. I'm going to go, what's that? What's that bulbous head fish? Alien, gray alien. Oh,

uh, not the, the, the, the, the bubble eye fish, is that what it is, Kyle?

Bubble eye fish. What is that thing? Bubble. Bubble. Bubble. Bubble. Bubble. Bubble.

Bubble. Bubble. Right. Nope. That's, that's a gold fish. All right. He's not right. Okay.

But a waste of time. That's the only thing you think of now, though. Oh, barrel. Oh, barrel. Head. Barrele. Barrele. Yeah.

Barrele. Whatever. God. God. God. God. God. Clue number two.

Nobody's got it yet. Of course, this animal is a suction feeder. Lamprey. Ooh, good guess. No. Streamlined, yeah, because the streamlined body was good. Streamline body, bulbous head. Bulbous heads.

That's really tough. It's a suction feeder. A suction feeder. It's got to be like super specific. Yeah, it's not a lamprey. I think we get another clue here. Yeah, like there's no way to guess. So this streamlined creature with its bulbous head

and its suction feeding a bit of, is relatively small species with adults reaching about nine feet in length. It doesn't sound small to me. That's big. That does not sound small to me. What? This is something that you can't miss with the eye.

It's nine feet long. It's a... Some sort of squid. Good guess. Good guess. Humbolded squid. Wrong. Where are those sound effects from a couple of pods ago?

There we go. I like that. Yeah, listen, I mean, a suction feeder, I got no guess, bulbous head. Come on, you got to say something. Streamline body, a leech. It's a good guess. It's a big-ass leech.

That's true. So one of the most interesting characteristics about our nine-foot-long suction feeder with the bulbous head is that it has the ability, Patrick, to excrete ink. up to three gallons, which it uses as a defense mechanism. Yeah, it's got to be a squid of some type.

It's a Pacific octopus. Ooh, good guess, Giant Pacific Octopus, but... It's not it. He's useless. There it is. There it is. All right. Can you draw with this ink?

You could draw with this ink. You could draw with this ink. Could you make a lovely postage? I was wondering if you were going to ask that next. I don't know. I wouldn't want to eat it, but maybe. This is a, the Sharpay squid. Well, in case you weren't already on this track, which you both clearly are, it's found in deep offshore waters in tropical and temperate regions.

So things like the Humboldt squid, which is an Arctic, more, well, more temperate to Arctic species. I guess that. I got a ding. I got a no. Yeah. Squit. No, next. Please.

Give me something I can use. Okay. All right. Here's where it starts getting interesting. We'll see if anybody's got it yet. Our slender nine-foot creature with a bulbous head that's a suction feeder that excretes ink and lives in the deep sea is basically only known from beached individuals. Because sightings in the wild are next to none. Okay.

Brings me back to giant squid, but. I think it's a type of whale. really? I do. That's very interesting. Beached. Maybe because it's just beached. Beached squid whale.

All right. Squid whale? I don't know. I'm going, did we already say giant squid? We did. There are kinds, though, but there's a colossal squid. I'm going colossal squid.

It's not that. Oh, damn it. All right. You guys are on the right track. Patrick gets sort of a half a point, if you will, if there were points in this game, because it is indeed a marine mammal. Oh. That's that.

The big, yeah, marine mammal that squirts ink. That's why they said relatively small. Exactly. So it's a inky whale. Good guess. I like the sound of that. No? No.

Shit. I'm going to go with a pinky whale. I think some of the brosters may have gotten it by now. To sum it all up are small. We got it. You don't need a sum of it. Okay. I won't then.

It's a dwarf sperm whale What? Yeah. So it's really interesting. A lot of people see these. There's a famous video coming out of Florida. Maybe Kyle, you can pull it up. You know the one I'm talking about?

See, he even knows. A dwarf sperm whale? People think it's a shark attack because they see all this blood, what looks like blood. Just type in like shark attack whale, Florida. And it's, oh, there it is. It's that one right there.

It's not, of course, it's on Facebook. Look at that. So that's ink. Doesn't that look like blood and like this crazy thing going on. So this is a dwarf sperm whale that's beached itself and excreting this ink

as a defense mechanism and of course it's like labeled shark attack on whale or whatever there's no shark anywhere to be seen and the animal's not injured it's just excreting its ink. Wow. So do full-sized sperm whales

excrete ink? No. Just the dwarf sperm whales. As far as I know it's the only cetacean that can do this. It does look sharky, doesn't it? It's got a funny nose. And then there's something really interesting

Look up the dwarf sperm whale ink. I think it's like, it like pukes it out of its stomach or something. I was going to ask where it comes out of. Let's see if it has the information here. It's very unusual the way that it does it. I'm trying to remember what the mechanism is. But yeah, it's this reddish brown ink sack that it has. It's in its intestine.

In its intestine. Yeah, so it like pukes it up. Is that interesting? Reddish brown. So it's called a dwarf sperm whale. Is it like a genetic offshoot of a sperm whale? I'm sure they're related. They're in the same family, but I don't know how closely or, you know, how many millions of years ago they diverged in evolution.

But they look pretty similar to a sperm whale. They're just shrunken and sort of have this weird bulbous head that's very kind of unique. Wow. So we know almost nothing about them. Just those beachings, basically. Wow. They've really almost never been seen in the wild, which always like, have you guys heard of the lost whale? Yeah.

No. The lonely whale? The lonely whale. The lonely whale. Yeah. Sorry, not the lost whale. the lonely whale. The guy from Entourage. Turtle? Oh, yeah. No, the main guy. What's his name? Adrian Grenier. Adrian Grenier. We actually chatted a couple times. Nice guy. He put in a bunch of his own

money that he made from Entourage to find the lonely whale. And the lonely whale, Peter, it's an interesting story. Scientists have this recording that is clearly a whale recording, but doesn't belong to any known species of whale. So somewhere out there in the world is one of two things. The less likely, scientifically, less likely idea that there's a whale that's making a known species of whale that's calling and making a sound that nobody's ever heard or recorded before. Or the more commonly accepted larger theory, which is that there's an unknown species called the loneliest whale, meaning there's only one or two of them, out there making this call trying to find another one. Yeah.

Edson, Adrian Greeneer, is that how you say it? Uh-huh. Went and funded this search to look for the whale they named 52 Hertz because that's the frequency at which they were hearing these calls across the ocean. Can we hear this whale? Is that? Yeah, I think you can. So it's not possible that however it vocalizes, maybe it got an injury to that part of its vocal cord or whatever and it's just coming out different? It is.

It is. But it's been like, it's not like a one. time thing. You're right. It's happened multiple times. But couldn't it just be the same whale? I think, I don't know. I mean, there's more to it and there's theories as to why it's not.

I think there's sort of like a call and repeat or something, you know, where like a call goes out and then somebody repeats. It's kind of cool. Anyway, it's just an interesting, I don't know what you want to call a conspiracy whale theory that there's just this big species. And just like the dwarf sperm whale, if we didn't see them beach themselves and have like a couple dead ones that we found floating, we wouldn't even know they exist. Right.

So, you know, I don't think it's at all beyond possible that there are some incredibly shy and elusive whale species, cetacean species out there that we don't know about, including 52 Hertz. Own it all. Pay off your home. Travel for life. Drive a Ferrari. In celebration of the world premiere of the Monopoly Big Board Buckslot

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Price Line is here to help you make it happy. With millions of deals on flights, hotels, and rental cars, you can go see the game live. Don't just dream about the trip. Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit Priceline.com. Actual prices may vary, limited time offer. It's interesting, though, because by definition,

every whale does have to come to the surface. Yes, absolutely. So it is interesting that no one's ever seen it, or that no one's ever seen it and known what it was. But I think people often don't understand, not just the intelligence, but like California, look up how many species of whale we have in California. Okay. I go out on the water, well, back before I was so busy. We have a lot.

A lot, right? I would say that I've personally seen six. Okay. There's probably 30 something. Yeah. Right? And I follow some people online on Instagram that all they do is go out and look for some of these unique species. and maybe once every five years

they'll get like one of their sightings. Right. This is in California. I'm talking about people going out of L.A. Not like some remote like Alaskan village that like, oh, there's something in the distance. I'm talking about like drones, high powered cameras, all of the data known to man out of one of the busiest ports

in the entire world. And they're seeing these animals that they're looking for like once every four or five years. The scy whale, that's a good one. That one's very hard to find. What's the one that black and white one that's incredible. There's this like, oh, the orca. No, thanks. Yeah. There's this, yeah, really crazy looking like elongated black and white marine mammal. I can't remember what it's called. But yeah, I mean,

I just think people don't understand. These whales can hear the boats way before you can see or hear them. They can decide to stay under for 45 minutes, so they don't have to come up if they don't want to. You know, they can, they can travel at 25 miles an hour. So if you're going this way and they can, yeah, this is the chick I follow. Go down. Yeah, that thing right there. What's that thing called? I can't read it from here. Wow, look at that thing. It definitely says it there. A northern right whale dolphin.

Yeah, that. I've never seen that before. No, no, that's what I mean. It's like a cross between an orca, a dolphin, and a worm. Isn't it bizarre and beautiful? What's her handle? Cetaceans, right? Yeah, I follow her, and this is honestly the first time,

that's funny, I see a bunch of my friends commenting on that. It's the first time I'd seen this animal. Yeah. And she is a full-time cetacean researcher. All she does is go out and photograph and look for these things. And again, this is out of Los Angeles. Like, it's crazy. And so my point being, imagine if that thing existed, this, this, this critter that none of us have ever seen before. 57 Hertz. And it was really smart and didn't want to go anywhere near boats and decided to never

basically be seen, but didn't occur near a major city. Yeah. You'd never see it. You wouldn't. You'd never see it. I don't care what military ops you have, boats, cameras, drones. It's just like, yeah, I'm going to go under for 45 minutes. It can only go under two feet and you'll never see it. It doesn't care. So while you were talking about that and I was looking at Kyle, this just popped in my head. I actually think this is a very interesting question. Okay. I'm going to make you an offer.

Okay. Would you take this or not? Okay. You get $3 billion. A lot of dollars. You're violently wealthy, never have to work. A lot of dollars. Houses all over the world.

Yeah. You're just exceptionally rich. Okay. $3 billion in accounts for you. by the end of day. Okay. But as part of this, for the rest of your life,

every day, with no warning at some point, you, you explosively shit your pants. That is no, I thought we were talking about whales. I have no idea. Explosive diarrhea in your pants.

And you have no, could come at any time. For three bill? Yeah. Yeah. It's zero question. Yeah, I'm picking up a Depend's sponsorship

and I'm good. Some invention that costs like 100 million that can just handle it. Well, just suck it out of my butt or something. Okay, so let me ask you. So you're flying to your lovely house in Kauai or Fiji. Yeah, no problem. And you're just on the plane and you shit yourself.

I got a shit tank. I got a tube, sucks it out, goes right into the bathroom. I don't know. I would just wear it depends and be your clues. Yeah. That's all I do. I just stay inside and not go near people. So it depends.

Is it worth today? God, if it happened at like midnight or 1230, it's not predictable, though, right? I'd be so stoked. You'd have so many good days. You just have no idea. I feel like you'd learn to live with it. Like you'd wear baggy pants.

You'd be a baggy pants guy. You'd wear DePen. You'd be like, ugh, fuck. I don't know if Depends can hold this in. I don't either. I think they can hold urine in. Would you not take it? I don't know.

That's why I think it's a good question worth to pay. Because, like, the whole thing is you're, you take that money so that you can travel. By the way, so now you're at the beach with your family because you're like, oh, let's go on the beach for a week. Yeah, I was just thinking about the family element. And then you just... You're in bed.

You're in explosive diarrhea. You're, yeah. I'm just thinking about how... No, I'm not taking it. Most expensive restaurant. No, I'm backing up. I don't want it. That's ludicrous.

Because I feel like most of the elements of my life would be ruined. But what if... But you would have days where the shit already came at 6 a.m. And then you just have a full great day. I wouldn't count. Can you imagine the anxiety on the day that that doesn't happen? No, I have three billion.

I wouldn't give a shit. Yes, you would. Because the things you're going to use so you can never go to a restaurant ever again. Of course I can't have $3 billion. What are you talking about? Because I'm going to time it so that you shit yourself at the restaurant. Doesn't matter. Who cares?

What do I care? You, your wife? You don't have $3 billion? You think you're married if you shit yourself violently at random? With $3 billion? The money doesn't wipe your ass. It could. I sleep naked.

You're going to shower at a restaurant? Sure. Why not? I have $3 billion. I would bring a fucking shower with me. What are you talking? I think you would regret this within six weeks. A mobile shower. A mobile shower

airplane next to my fucking passenger I don't take it. Do you take it, how would I be on a plane? No. No? You guys are all fucking ridiculous. It's a day ruiner every single day. You're a day ruiner. I like that Peter's like, no, I wear a suction device that it's like that would be terrible.

You have to sleep on rubber sheets? How do you know? You can't sleep in the same bed with your life. I spent $500 million on a fucking ass sucking device, very sleek. That you're going to sleep with an ass sucking device on. Why, if I should the bed, who gives a fuck? Your wife? Why she can sleep in the other room?

I don't care. $3 billion. But you don't enjoy sleeping. Your quality of life. Yeah, you're like. What if I already had the shit that day? Who cares? There'd be plenty of days.

The clock could strike midnight and then it all starts over. That's fine. She'll have to learn to live with it. But the anxiety over when the shit's coming, I think would give you a heart attack. I'll buy. I'll buy Xanax. I'll buy Xanax. So now you have a drug problem?

Can't sleep in bed with your wife. Can't leave the house. And you have to sit on a mobile toilet. Listen, I mean, wheelchair. You guys are fucking insane. I want people to weigh in on this because, also,

I find it whole important. I find it very funny how like Pat was just, would he be looking at Kyle? I saw, I saw that we were losing him and his eyes just kind of wondered. And then he came back in with, what if you shit yourself? It's like, well, that's a different direction.

No, it's a very interesting philosophical question that I think universities should teach. in class. Well, I mean, it sounds, it sounds like you idiots have made your mind up, which is I can't believe you take it. At first, first clients, I was like, I'm in. And then I thought about my quality of daily life. And I'm like, absolutely not. So you're not even comparing it to the three billion. You're just, you're only focusing on the shit, the one shit per day. Yeah, my life's pretty great without three billion bucks. I don't need to be shitting myself and ruin everything for money. It's not going to ruin anything. You can still compare the one shit to

The $3 billion. Real quick. What if the rules have changed? What if it was... No, okay. We already debated that one. It's his game. So the rules are now that you will shit yourself explosively with diarrhea at the worst possible time each day.

And I get $3 billion? Yeah. You still get $3 billion. I'd still do it. This is crazy. What's the worst possible time? You're at a restaurant. You're at a restaurant.

Making love. Depends each day. You're changing your own child. Yeah. It's just whenever would be the worst time. You're many miles from a toilet. Yeah, no. I've been there before. It's not. No way, dude. I mean, that one, it's not, it's not about 100% sold. The other one, for sure, 100% sold.

I'd have to think about this one a bit. But because there are some scenarios where it's like, you know, I mean, now you can't have the suction device. It's like planned, it's a planned attack on you essentially. You're in the pool and the swimming pool with your kids. Oh, you're soiling your own pool. You can't even swim? Yeah, no, you can't take that one because then you can't do anything.

They have pool diapers. They do. They do have pool diapers. You don't want to be that guy, though. Well, nobody's met that guy ever because he doesn't go to the pool. That's why. He exists. He just doesn't go to the fucking pool.

Yeah, because he has $3 billion. It's interesting. You know, I would love for those who are watching or listening, comment, give us an interesting philosophical, would you do it? Yeah, because they're kind of fun. That's kind of fun. Yeah. Or if you've shit your pants in a situation, tell us about it.

Who hasn't? So this is an interesting philosophical question. Here's another philosophical question for you. If I told you that you could go sign up for a thing that was really fun and you enjoyed it and got great entertainment value, and you could get given $250. in cold hard kish. And it was free. It's free for a limited time.

Yeah. Would you do it? Yes. Would you do it? Yeah, I would. What am I referring to, Peter? That is our new Patreon deal. Come check out the free trial.

We're giving away $250 in cash every month to a brokner who sign up. Why not? Sign up for the free trial. Check it out. Wildtimes.combe forward slash info to get the link to that. And all the other links to all the stuff we do. We got some new merch, all kinds of. of fun stuff up there. You can buy the game. That's coming up.

Oh yeah, the game too. Don't forget about that. That's it. Wild Times. Dot Club forward slash info. No problems here. God damn it. Good night, everybody. Enjoy more ways to save at Ralph's like low prices in every aisle. And when you download the Ralph's app, you can clip and save more with digital coupons every week. Plus, you can earn fuel points to save up to $1 per gallon at the pump.

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