Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Inside the Ritual That Uses the World’s Most Painful Insect Sting

Episode Date: December 15, 2025

This week we discuss a father and son killed by murder hornets while ziplining, an insane bullet ant story, and the most important Christmas item for a party. Enjoy! (190)Toyota: Discover your uncharted territory. Learn more at toyota.com/trucks/adventure-detoursAura Frame: Get $35 off with code WILD at https://auraframes.com/Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions today at https://www.rocketmoney.com/wildtimesUnderdog: Download the app today and use promo code WILD to score $75 in Bonus EntriesGet More Wild Times Podcast Episodes:⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wildtimespod/subscribe⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod⁠More Wild Times:Instagram: ⁠http://instagram.com/wildtimespod⁠TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespodcast⁠Facebook:⁠ https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/⁠X: ⁠https://x.com/wildtimespod⁠Discord: ⁠https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9Db⁠Website: ⁠https://wildtimes.club/⁠Merch: ⁠https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch⁠Battle Royale Card Game: ⁠https://wildtimes.club/br⁠Our Favorite Products:⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/thewildtimespodcast⁠Music/Jingles by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkeyThis video may contain paid promotion.#ad #sponsored #forrestgalante #extinctoralive #podcast

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Here we are. Wild times, ladies and gentlemen. Happy December. Oh, we already did that. It's later in December. That's okay. We can say it multiple times. Yeah.

It's your favorite time of the year. A thousand percent. Yeah. No doubt about it. How are you guys doing? Dude, I gave Peter that shirt for AnimalCon like two years ago. And every time he wears it, it makes me a little bit happy. Because that was just a gift.

Yeah. Yeah. He said in just now in the bathroom, he looked in the mirror. I'd love this shirt. Makes me look spice. Did you actually? Yeah. Nice.

Because I caught a short. You know, I never watched the pod back or anything, but I caught one of our shorts in my feed. And I was like, damn, I look good. Dude, it's the extra tight sleeves. Yeah, that's huge. It's impeccable. I like it. It's impeccable. Wow.

Good reference. Oh, my goodness. I like that. Well, what's going on, Jens? How are we feeling today? What's the word? Oh, my God. It's nice and cool out.

It's beautiful. I love when the weather gets like. this because in California it's not freezing no so I just I've just been running every day it makes running so much easier because you're not just getting destroyed yeah uh feeling good uh this time of year everything tastes better every the as bad as you can challenge it's unbelievable like everything tastes way better absolutely just thanksgiving hits and then i find myself just being like just gonna grab a nice handful of shredded cheese and dump it my mouth at noon.

You know what I mean? Oh yeah. Like maybe. It's so much harder not to have like wine at night. I'm like, Jesus, what am I doing this for? You gotta just have it. This is a natural. This is a real, like I feel like this is part of our animal nature.

Like this is a real thing. We're like we do this because before we had our sheltered Western lives, we would have to stock up and get fat for winter. You're right. Just to eat butter. But how much more pleasant is he to be around during the holiday? Oh my God. You're like, you're the most jovial human being for,

three months out of the year. Once Halloween passes, he is a delight. I know. I know the rest of the year. By the way, you've been to India since we last hung out. I have. Yeah, I have indeed. How was it?

I was good, dude. You know, at this point, I feel like I'm a regular. I'm going to start building a house over there. What are you doing out there? Because you Vantara premiered and it's doing great. Yeah, so that's been going well. And then we're just back at Vantara working on, I'm not even sure I can talk about a lot of this, but I'm helping consult on some of the fresh.

water exhibits. Nice. So working on that, we brought some influencers out that they came to check out the area. So basically floodgates are open now, right?

Like my team was the first team to ever go there, ever film, ever have cameras out, ever show it. Even though our media sort of released after some of the news stuff,

we were the first ever actual production and team to be filming there. And then since then, and obviously with the good reception of the TV show, it's been like, okay,

well, let's get some more people. Like, let's show the world what we're doing. Hell yeah. which I sort of, I think I told you guys,

this. I sort of had to talk and not the owner into that. Oh, he did? Yeah, because he was really skeptical about, he's like, you know, I don't really want the world looking at what we're doing. Right. We're not a zoo. I remember he was, he was like, I'm just doing this for me, for these animals. That's right. Yeah. Like not for profit. We're not a zoo. We're not open to the public. You know, I'm just

doing this to do it. And I sort of, you know, I don't want to take all the credit, but I sort of talked him into like if you want this to have impact, the world should see what you're doing. And he's like, ah, I'm so nervous of the criticism and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, just let's go. He's like, all right, let's do it. And then obviously there has been criticism.

There was before partially because it was so closed off. But overall, everything's been really positive. And so now I've brought in Corbin. Oh, yeah. I love Corby. Corbyn and Sam. And then some other various friends. What did he show up and go, hey.

Dude, he's such an entertaining. He's such a, dude, Corbyn's like a human fucking Labrador. Like, he's such a likable person. He's so likable. I saw that he was at, they did the little animal con thing in Michigan. Yeah. Yeah. They opened Legacy Sea Aquarium.

We should go check that out if you didn't, if you haven't. But I saw Corbyn was there and it's like, man, I wish I would have gone to that one. He's just a delight to be around. He really is. Yeah, he came. He checked out some of the facilities, had a great time, interacted with some animals. What kind of animals? What did Corbyn see?

He got to see a part of the reptiles, got to see a big part, a lot of the reptile exhibits, especially the new reptile house. He got to see the lion safari area, go through the elephant hospital. Oh my God. He loved it. He loved it. And for him, too,

and I don't know how to say it's coming off like a prick, but he hasn't had as many experiences with zoos and facilities like that. So it was mind blow. I mean, it's mind blowing for everybody. But you know when you've done something a lot and then you take somebody new to do it and you get to live through their eyes for the first time? Yeah.

I'd become a little bit callous to how impressive it was. And then he came and he was just like, oh. And I was like, yeah, buddy. It was fun. It was really fun. I'm impressed that you gave advice to a billionaire. That kind of blows my mind. Thanks.

He probably ignored it. No, you convinced him to kind of go public with Antar and he listened to you. Like, that's just kind of wild to me. You know, you're this loser, like total douchebag, nobody. Oh, thanks. This is nice. This is good for me. I'm just kidding.

I'm surprised Corbyn even talks to you. Oh, thanks. You guys, this is a really good pod for me. No, no, no, no, no. Trying to make your head a little smaller. Because of your association with Peter. Oh, true, true, true. Yeah.

Me and Corbin are like this when we see each other every year. I don't know that that's true because I wasn't at the last Animal Con. We know. But at the first one, we got drunk the first night. You yelled at him. Yeah. And, you know, but then we woke up the next day. Corbin and his wife had brought us jersey mics.

So nice. Without us asking for it. Nope. They're just those kind of people. And then later that evening we're playing the beach ball game in the pool. And I know I've told the story, but you angrily kicked him out of the pool. No, it was all in jest. It was fun.

We were all laughing. Corbin is literally like an old school Hollywood entertainer. He grew up as a kid like being on Letterman with snakes and animals. And now he like stands in front of. of crowds with one of the with one of those microphone things and like the janet jackson mike doesn't like that and i just dude i don't know he's just he's just one of those guys that's got it you know so hang on does he hate you or not that's patrick probably he's got a giant dick too so how how how how how how how how how how what is the flying like what do you go do you oh it's a delight it's no easy what is the route

it's like yeah no it's like going to phoenix it's it's so simple you you first you sit in two out and a half hours of traffic from Santa Barbara to LAX. Then you fight with people at LAX because visas are a nightmare and they have to prove your visa before you get on a plane to India. So you have to fight with the airline about your visa because none of them understand it because there's about a thousand different visas. So that takes you right up until after the boarding has started. So then you're panicking, sweating, and sprinting through the airport. This is at LAX. This is all, oh, yeah. We haven't even got on a plane. So they check the visas there. At LAX. Yeah. Oh. And because I was originally on a tourist visa when I first went because I was a tourist.

Then we started working there. Then I got journalist visas. Then you have to get a new journalist visa every time you go. Nobody knows the visas. It's, it's, yeah. So it takes you until literally after boarding is started. Then you're sprinting, you're sweaty, you're upset. You think you're going to miss your flight. Just how you want to start. Exactly. Yeah. Then you get on the plane. This is where the fun starts to fly for 16 hours to Dubai. No, just like going to Phoenix. Then you have a four or five hour layover depending on your flight in Dubai. for then a three and a half hour flight to Mumbai. Sorry, sorry, wait. How long is the flight to Dubai? 16.

Okay, yeah, that's a long one. Yep. So that's direct from L.A. L.A. Dubai. That's such a long time. Oh, it's brutal. That's two full work shifts of just nothing, doing nothing. Oh, but wait, it gets worse.

Then you spend four to five hours depending on which flight you're on in the airport in Dubai, which I will say is the nicest airport in the world. Then however, then however, you fly, uh, three and a half hours to Mumbai, at which time, no matter what, because it seems like there's only one, you arrive in Mumbai at 2.30 a.m. regardless of what, I don't know how. It's always 2.30. a.m. Then you stand in one to three hours of customs lines every single time, no matter what. That's tough. That hurts. Finally get out of that after all of the travel I've just said where you haven't slept and your neck hurts. Then you have to take a flight to Jamnagar that doesn't leave

until 1.30 in the afternoon the next day. So you're now getting out of the airport always every single time right around 435 a.m. And meanwhile, you're getting more and more jet lag. Oh, yeah, you don't sleep a wink. So yeah, you're getting out of the airport 435 a.m. But your next flight isn't until 1.30 that afternoon. So what do you do? You go to the Noranta Airport Transit Hotel, a windowless hotel that smells like Indian food,

which I like Indian food, but you don't want your hotel to smell like it. You don't want to just be bathing in it. especially when you're queased after coming off of like two days of travel. So then you sit in the Neuranta Airport Hotel. You're wired because you've had 11 cups of coffee to try stay awake because you're miserable because you can't sleep. So then you sit in your windowless hotel room for four to five hours or more waiting for your 130 flight. Then you go back into the same airport you just spent three hours fighting to get out of. Okay.

To then typically, from my experience, fight with Air India about your overweight luggage because no matter what, it doesn't matter if you have. Don't talk about Mitch that way, bro. It doesn't matter if you have a single magic mine bottle or 50 cases of Pelican gear. They look at you and go, he's overweight. Being a witch. Yeah. So then you fight with Air India for a good hour. Finally, you get through that process, go through security.

Your flight is inevitably delayed one to three hours every single time. Then you take an Air India flight that is terrifying because it's got one of the highest. How much longer is this going to be? Because you're, you asked how we get there. Yeah, no, I'm interested. I can, I can end the story at any point in time. Wait, why is the Air India flight terrifying? because they have one of the highest crash rates in the world.

Oh my God. And I'm pretty sure the planes. Kyle's going to weigh in. What are you going to say here? The big India flight that crashed like earlier this year. It was an Air India flight. Oh my God. There was one like three days ago.

Look it up. There was one two or three days ago. No. Keep doing what you're doing. Yeah. And then you drive on the tarmac for many, many minutes to get to your Air India flight where the plane looks like it's held together by duct tape. Then you finally get on the plane.

Then eventually it takes off. You usually land in Jamnagar an hour and a half after you take off. Supposed to land around two in the afternoon. Usually lands around 5.36 in the evening. Okay. That's a military base. It's actually lovely and really simple to get through. 20 minutes later, you get to Ventara.

So it's like essentially almost two full days. Three. Yeah. It's a good thing. It's not open to the public because nobody would go after that type of travel experience. So when you leave here, so if I leave on a Tuesday, I get to Ventara on a Friday. Oh, my goodness. And when I leave Ventara on a Friday, I get home on a Friday.

How's that for a mind fuck? Oh, that is crazy. Oh, because the time change. Yeah, so you go backwards when you come back. So you get there like three hours technically later. Wait, that doesn't make any sense. If you leave there on a Friday, you get back home on Friday. That's right.

That's right. How? Because of the time change. I don't know. Is this another? It's a wormhole. Yeah, it's a wormhole. Paranormal event.

Right, cough. You get home the same day you leave, right? Correct. Yeah. So probably one of the, a couple of the worst lowest travel moments of my life were, you know, after flying for basically two days to get to remote parts of Africa. And then the customs line. Oh, yeah. Because it's so horrible.

It can be like three hours where you're still on the tarmac waiting to get in the building. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. And then you get in the building. And, you know, you've now been awake for, because the flight always leaves at night here. Yeah. So you were awake that day plus two more days. That's right.

And you basically slept in like 10 minute segments. And you stink and you're oily and it's a billion degrees out no matter what. And everybody else there is too. Yeah. And there's no one that's going to come help you. No. No one's giving you a hug. No.

And so then you're you're sweating on the tarmac for like two to three hours. You get in the building. The line's seemingly not moving. You're there for another hour. And then you've got to pick up the gear. Yeah. And that can be like six hours to multiple days. Yeah.

Remember Zanzibar? Yeah. We landed in Zanzibar. It's like a four-day affair to get our luggage. Yeah. So it can be low. But then you see stuff that you have never seen in your life and you're like, well, okay, this is why you travel. It is, but I'd probably rather go by pirate ship like they used to than with Air India any longer.

Well, your genitals would smell the same amount. It would. They really would. They really would. Anyway, I don't know why I made that a 15-minute line. long story, but it's just, it's, the travel's insane and I've done it, what, seven, eight times now? I mean, it's just. Kyle, could we get a jingle?

I've been wanting to talk about some news here real quick. Guys, guys, what's in the news, Peter? Dude, I believe you sent this, Patrick, and then I got, I heavily dug into it. Okay. There was a man in his 40s and his teenage son, zip lining. Uh-huh. and they died. Okay.

Do you want to know how they died? How would you guess they died? They fell off the zipline. Right. The zipline broke in half. There's no other way that people die on the zip line. They were doing a tandem. Oh, no, wait.

Sorry, can I guess? Yeah. They died of having too much fun. Because they were on a zipline. It's no laughing matter. They were swarmed by fucking murder hornets, the Asian invasive wasps. No, is this true? Yes.

And they got over a hundred stings on their bodies and they both fucking die. Oh, geez. I was making light of this. This was in, it's unbelievable. Luang Prabang in Lao. Yeah. We've been. Which is, I've always said it, when I kill my wife, that's where I'm going to disappear to.

Because it's one of my favorite. It's awesome. Right on the Mekong River. Yep. It's incredibly cool. And, you know, everything's like a dollar. Oh, dude, it's the cheapest place I've ever been to. Yeah.

And I stayed in the best hotel. It was 100 bucks a night. The night market's amazing. You just get Jack and Cokes for like 50 cents while you're walking around. Incredible. The vibes amazing. People are friendly. I love Long Pervang.

Yeah. So what was it? It was, what's the actual name of the Hornet? Sorry. It's the Asian. Murder Hornet. Is that what it is? Yeah.

Oh. What are you doing, Jeter? What's going on over there? I'm sorry, the Asian giant Hornet is what they're called. And so, yeah, Daniel Oan, he's 47, his 15-year-old son, Cooper, swarmed and stung more than a hundred times while they were ziplining, bro. That's heinous. Could you imagine?

They were trapped. Yeah. You're on the zip line and you're getting swarmed by these huge dude Kyle pull up Asian uh Asian hornet Asian giant hornet also called the murder so they grow up to two

inch long with a quarter inch it doesn't look real by the way it looks like a plastic figurine our kids would play I hate them it looks like something out of like a Pixar movie it really does it's they're truly an awful species and like honestly I know I always say like mosquitoes I'm like eradicate them I don't care

of the consequences I think that these things need to be eradicated. You could shoot these out of the air with a slingshot. Absolutely. They're huge. I mean, two inches. That's like the size of Kyle's dick erect.

Dude. I mean, so after I saw this story, I pulled up a couple of YouTube videos of various YouTubers who have intentionally been stung by these things. Oh my God. So smart.

A single sting. I mean, people are in absolute agony. Oh, my God. And then, you know, one guy got stung on the forearm and his arm swelled up. It looked like his quad. Oh, yeah, dude. So imagine just, I mean, getting stung 100.

I mean, that's a cruel and unusual. What's that one from Inside Edition there, second row, Kyle? Who's stinging themselves? What's going on here? That's almost certainly Coyote Peters. It's got to be, right? Yeah, it is. Makes sense.

Oh, man. He's a silly boy for doing this. Yeah, so, I mean, good for him. He's made a whole career out of it, but no, thank you. But look at how much pain he's in. Yeah, well, he always pretends he is. Yeah, but you could pretend that. His eyes are red.

He's crying. His arms puff feet. Oh, my God. It looks like there's a golf ball under his arm shortly after the sting. Dude, so yeah. It's awful. Seven or eight of his bracelets are going to have a hard time coming off. His hat popped off.

Yeah. But so, yeah, I mean, this was such like an unprecedented, weird kind of like freak accident. And I'm just thinking to myself like, man, I'm never going ziplining if there's a potential that these bees are around, which was on your to-do list. But these bees are in. invading, they're coming up into the U.S. Like, are they? Something needs to be done about this. Yes.

We talked about, no, not really. Well, they were, but we've definitely, they put out an effort to eradicate them. Yeah, but it was such a, the whole thing was such bullshit. It was overblown. It was overblown. So, are they here? Absolutely. Are they going to start killing us on zip lines?

Probably not. Well, we have laws here. So the only place they were found was in Washington State and B.C. Canada. Oh, so they're up north. Yeah. And this were found in destroy. Can you go back to the news article for a second, Kyle, on this poor dad and kid? Yeah.

So it says, while descending from a tree platform with a guide, they were sworn by hundreds of hornets and stung more than a hundred times each. Now look up, if you can, Kyle. This might be a chat cheap type question. What is the potency of an Asian giant hornet sting? You know, there's like a potency scale? Yeah. Is there? Yeah.

I don't know what it's called, but yes. Who created these fucking things, man? Where did they come from? That's just the size. Okay, what does it say? And delivers a potent venom that in cases of multiple hornet stings simultaneously can create an allergic reaction, blah, blah, blah. There's no, like, strict number on a one to ten scales. It says high level of pain.

I don't know. Sounds awful. Well, so they went in anapalactic shock. On the Schmidt Sting pain index, it's compared to other things that are rated a level two. Okay. That's out of ten? What's that out? No, I think it goes five.

five? Yeah, five. Remember when we had Kings of Pain on? They were explaining the scale to us. But yeah, dude, I mean, just such a tragedy. And any time I see one of these things now, of course, I have kids. And I'm just like, I never want to do anything with them. Here's a thing for you, though.

Go back to the article for one second. Hang on, this is cool. Because let's put a button on the sting thing here. Yeah, let's see what's up with the Schmidt Insect Sting Pain Index. Yeah, so it goes to four. It goes to four. So two is relatively substantial. and things like bullet ant and warrior wasp are at four

and then the murder hornet lives down at two. Tarantula hawks of four. So there's only three things that are four. Bullet ant, tarantula hawk, and warrior wasp. It has Asian giant hornet at two, but it also has yellow jacket at two. There's only three things on a three, too. So the majority of things live in a two.

Interesting. Okay. The three is red paper wasp, velvet ant, and what's that other one, tiny font? By the way, I've got a very particular paper wasp. I honestly can't believe, like, that who tested this and gave it a two? Schmidt.

So, so. No, seriously. That's who did it. He did it himself. Crazy? Yeah. So the Schmidt's sting pain index also has how long the duration of the pain is. Oh, is that the size of the bubble?

Oh, yeah. Like bulletin is 300 minutes. No, thank you. Bullet ant is five hours. Asian giant hornet is 10 minutes. I think I've told my bullet aunt story about my buddy Nick and Mike and that whole thing. No. Never?

No, I don't know of it. Whatever. Tell it again, even if you had. It's such a mean story. Great. So, uh, okay, I have a question. What's the single most important thing that you guys rely on when you're on these adventures in remote places? I mean, to me, it's pretty obvious.

When you're traveling somewhere that has rugged terrain, the vehicle that gets you there is the difference between having a great time or not so much. So when we're traveling, whether it's domestic or international, we always, always, always try to to get Toyota trucks, right? Oh, 100%. I think about when we were in Sinky DeBahara and Madagascar and the huge rains came. I was just thinking about that trip. Yeah, we had a caravan of about 10 trucks and literally, and we have video of this, all the Toyotas made it out and there were three or four other trucks that got stuck in the mud for multiple days. Patrick and I were, of course, in the Toyota's not comfortable the entire time. Toyota trucks, let's go places. Discover your uncharted territory. Learn more.

at Toyota.com slash trucks slash adventure dash detours. If you're like me and you don't plan ahead for Christmas shopping and I just got home from a trip a few days ago, I was so stoked because I got one of these aura frames through the podcast and loved it so much that I went online, used our own discount code and got one for my mom, preloaded it. So the reason I'm not opening this aura frame, I have one because they sent us one.

It's awesome. I picked up this one for my mom because it's, I can never figure out what to buy for my parents. No. Like, what do you buy for someone who's, you know, 80? Yeah, and it has everything. But it's awesome because she always wants pictures of my life and the kids. Yep.

So it's a super awesome high-res digital frame. Yep. But I can set up for her and choose the rotation of photos. Yep. Customize it. Personalize it. I preload the photos onto it. Mm-hmm.

You can even preload them before it ships. Yep. It is like a very thoughtful gift. Yeah. Even though you're buying it last minute. for a loved one who, you know, you could just set up their frame for them. And it's, it's really cool. I love having it at my house.

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Terms and conditions apply. Hey, you can't wrap togetherness, but you can't frame it. Sat down with the old lady last week, did some budgeting. Used to use a spreadsheet. Now you know what I use? What? Rocket money. I didn't know you could do that with it.

I love Rocket Money, man. Me and the wife, I sit down. Everything is just explained so perfectly in the app. It shows you your budget. It shows your expenses. You think it's saving you money? Like, oh, yeah. Significant money.

Without question. We now look at it and we're like, okay, this is the amount of money we put in. And it shows you real clear and simple. This is the amount you're over. This is the amount you're under. And know what else I love? It sends me an email whenever a bill has gone up. And then I'm like, why do they?

Why? What? No, I'll call them right now. Or? Yeah. Companies do that. Yeah. Or what?

No, I was going to say you were going to talk about. They'll call them. for you. I mean, that is really insane. Like, for those who don't know, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitor your spending, and helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including over $880 million in canceled

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Monday is my favorite night of the week. Why is that, Retep? That's because we get together and watch sport hot football. And what else do we do? We do a little higher, lower. Oh, yeah. And a couple of cocktails, obviously. But Peter and I are huge fans of Underdog.

This is what we're doing tonight. we got the Dolphins at Steelers. We are going Aaron Rogers lower than 211.5 passing yards. D.K. Metcalfe higher than 54.5 receiving yards. Jalen Waddle higher than 62.5 receiving yards. And Tua, lower than 195.5 passing yards. That pays 10 to 1. And playing on underdog is so easy.

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Must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for some games. 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia. And present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets. Underdogfancy.com slash web slash play and get terms underscore DFS underscore html for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio. Ohio and Pennsylvania.

Concern with your play, call 1-800 G-A-M-B-L-E-R or visit W-W-W-W-N-C-P-L-N-G. In New York, call the 24-7-H-7-O-E-N-Y or text H-O-P-E-N-Y-N-E-N-Y-N-E-E-N-E-N-E-E-N-E-W-E-R-E-E-R- When they graduated at high school, they went on one of these, like, citizen-science volunteer things to Costa Rica, and they were always pranking each other, right? Like, they were just fucking around all the time, pranking each other. And the pranks- Fucking each other. Yeah, possibly. The prank's leveled up and leveled up.

And so one day, they're sleeping in the jungle in Costa Rica, and Nick wakes up and he goes to slip his boots on, and Mike's filled his boots with mango, like smushed mango. So it's like, gross mango in the toes. Nick's furious. He's like, fuck you, man.

Like now my boots are soggy and they're wet and they're full of fucking mango. And like, you know, you've ruined my week, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Later, a couple days later, they're out hiking. And Nick sees a bullet ant. Oh, boy. So he grabs the bullet ant with a pair of tweezers,

and he shoves it in like a little glass tube, and he puts in his backpack. And he's like, I'm going to fucking get Mike. And the rest of the trip comes and goes, and Nick actually forgot he'd even grab this bullet ant. So they're in a hostel the night before they're going to fly back to, they're both from Chicago, the night before they're going to fly back to Chicago

and going to get some sleep before the plane in the morning. Yeah. And Nick's going through his stuff. He's getting to his fucking dirty underwear, and he's like, oh, shit, the bulletin's still here. It's still alive. Yeah, I'm going to fucking do it. So he takes this vial out and he just dumps the ant and Mike's bed.

And then he like close the vial, puts it back up. Whatever. Mike comes back from the bathroom, whatever. Lights out. Everybody jumps into bed. And Nick's like sitting there grinning, waiting. Oh my gosh. Yeah.

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Nothing happens. They're like, huh. Goes to sleep. A couple hours go by. Fuck! What's going on?

Nick flips on the lights. Mike's been stung on the inner thigh by the bullet ant. So the story gets really funny in a second. So Mike goes, fuck, fuck, fuck. But it's so bad that Nick won't admit that he's done it. Yeah, yeah. Because he's like, fuck, I can't tell Mike. Yeah, yeah.

And so, like, Mike's like crying and screaming in pain for 10 hours, as we pointed out, like literally, like, ruined his, like, life for 10 hours. Oh, man. And so Mike came to the conclusion that a bullet ant had crawled into his backpack during the trip and it just crawled onto the bed and stung him. And Nick fucking was like, I'm going to die with the lie. And so it was so bad that like Nick never admitted to it. So a couple years later, Nick has told a few of his close friends, right?

Myself included our other buddy Brian and Brian told his girlfriend. Okay. But everybody knew this is a big secret. If Mike ever finds out like it's going to be bad. And a friendship. It's a nuclear option. It was that level of bad. Yeah.

So a couple years later, they're all at a pool party together back in Chicago, midsummer pool party. and Brian's girlfriends had a few white claws, and she comes over while Nick and Mike are like chatting and hanging out, and she goes, oh, Mike, how funny is it that Nick put that bullet ant in your bed? Oh, my God. And he goes, what? Oh, boy.

And Nick started to get up because Mike's, Mike's like five foot seven, but he's one of those five foot seven guys. Like, I'll fight any guy who's six foot seven over Mike. He's just a nut. Yeah. Like, he's a scary guy if he's angry. and Nick's like 6-3 and Nick's like uh-oh and so so all of a sudden like fucking music screeches to a halt

the chick Brian's like dude fucking Jennifer shut up and like she's like oh shit and Nick's Nick's like fuck fuck he starts like back it up and everything and Mike just sits here and goes what I'm sorry what and so she says it again and Mike says nothing like his expression changes the laugh the smile's gone and he turns to Nick and he goes you better leave right now And he's like, I promise you in the next two years, I'm going to do something that is going to ruin your life.

And Nick got up and fucking ran out of that party, literally like high tail out of that party. And Nick, I swear to God, he lives in constant fear of what Mike is going to do. Do they still, are they still friends? They're like, they were very good friends. They now maybe chat once a year. Like, Merry Christmas. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. And Mike has admitted to all of us in the friend group. that he is plotting and he will get Nick back. Yeah. And Nick lives in full-time 24-7 panicked fear. Yeah. And Mike now lives in North Carolina, but he goes home for Fourth of July to Chicago.

He goes home for Christmas. So the whole Christmas season, Nick is like, Jacqueline, his wife, he's like, did you lock the doors? Like, are the doors locked on the house? Like, he's like, is the gun out? Like, he's legitimately fucking terrified

because Mike is going to do something so awful to him. Dude, I cannot wait until it happens. and we get the resolution to this story. You'll have to listen to the show for two years to find out. To find out. At least in a moment. Yeah. Guys, quick pause.

We followed up with both Mike and Nick and got their sides of the story and what they told are parts of the story that I'd forgotten. And it's even crazier than you think. So we're dropping that full conversation tomorrow on Patreon, Spotify premium, Apple premium. And if you want the whole picture, that's where it'll be. All right, let's get back to the show. I bet it ends with Mike breaking into Nick's house and Nick shooting. I was going to say

I bet Nick doesn't get in trouble and Mike's just dead Yeah that's probably how it's gonna go Yeah I bet it ends with Mike Just fucking Nick's wife Dude The whole thing is so crazy And like

Nobody realized the severity Of a bullet ant bite Like it was to the point of like Oh God I can never let this be known That I did this It's the top one The Schmidt scale It's the very top fucking thing

Yeah I mean look like mango and shoes is an incredible nuisance. And like, like you said, it made his boots wet and it like ruined his week or whatever. His feet turned orange from the state. It's not the same. No,

it's not. But I, it's like, yeah, it's not. But I do get the mentality. I don't think that Mike real, or I mean,

Nick realized. Do you think, did Nick understand? No, definitely not. He just knew it was going to suck. He didn't know Mike was going to think he was dying. He probably thought it was like just going to be like a really bad beast.

Yeah. Yeah. It was like actually 10 times worse. Yeah. I'm like hour four. He's like, dude. I mean, it's the equivalent of like, like, to think about the one-upsmanship, it'd be like, if you lied to your wife and you were like, yeah, I only had like three drinks and you really

had six. And then like to retaliate, she just went out and started a new family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's about you. Would you be more pissed if your wife went out and started a new family or just went and sucked one of your friends' dicks? I'm not sure to answer that, to be honest.

Yeah, it's a tough one. as long as she's happy, as long as she's having fun. It's crazy to think of that and what Mike went through. But you know what's even more insane? Here we set as soft white boys talking about how awful it was, including Mike and Nick and that. The Aztecs, I don't know, one of them, they used to put on a glove. Have you seen this?

Of bullet ants. Oh my God, no. Type up bullet ant glove. And it's not the Amazon, by the way. But it was a ride of passage for boyhood. So, yeah. So they'd make this glove. See this?

Oh, my God. And if you were like 12, 13, I'm sure I'm getting this all wrong, you'd have to put your hand in that. Oh, my God. Bullet ant gloves. So what we're seeing here is it's like a glove that's got probably, what, 500? 500, yeah. Yeah. Go to that first video right there.

I mean, see if we can play it for a few seconds without getting canceled. But, yeah, so basically there was this right of passage. And if you wanted to go from boyhood to manhood, you had to put your hands in these gloves. Both hands. And I think you're not allowed to scream or something like that. There's something that you have to do or maybe you have to wear it for a certain amount of time. I remember reading about it. But I mean, this is like, dude, that's as bad as it gets right there.

I'm kind of into this. Like, I feel like I want to do this. No, you don't. So are bullet ants just like, are they aggressive? Like, the fact that there was a bulletin in the bed and it bit him, it's like, why didn't it just skedaddle down the bed? I'm pretty sure they're. He probably fucking rolled over and smush it between his creamy thighs. I just said no thank you.

No, no, I'm pretty sure that it's like a known thing. If you harass a bullet and it bites like right away, they're like aggressive. I've seen them a lot, you know, in the jungles and stuff. I saw them when I was last in Costa Rica, but I, you know, you just avoid them. What the, yikes? They do them with you. They're making the glove. So they use these like tweezers sticks and thread them in.

Oh my God. So that their mandibles are sticking on the inside of the glove. Oh, my God. And then, yeah, you come along and stick your hand in it. It's pretty wild. Oh, my God. I thought they were just walking around in there. No, they actually have them.

No, no. They're ready to go. They're stuck and so they're pissed off. And they're just biting repeatedly probably, dude. All right. So final thing on Pull-It-A-and and then we'll move on. Yeah. How much to do this except it's a condom?

There's no amount. Of course. There is an amount. You're a liar. There is an amount. No, there's no amount. You can do it for a billion. Okay, well, all right.

You would absolutely do it for a billion. I would not do it for a billion. I can assure you right now, I would be an, you know. easy no. There's just a... Now the glove... Kyle, you would do that on your penis for a billion dollars.

Correct me if I'm wrong. I would. Yeah, I would too. Okay. Okay. Cavi-al. You will not lose your penis or die. That's it.

I'm not saying it could be grotesque. It might swell up. Whatever. Before you answer that, how long will it be normal ever again? 80% yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Ever, I don't know when. It might take a year. It might take six months. Yes. It will return to normal. Still no moment. With that caveat, I would do it for a billion.

Okay, we've all had our children. What about like a nice testicle cup? Oh, no. That's not that. But hold on. I want to just... If you do for a billion, would you do for $900 million? Yes.

Of course you would. There's no difference. If you do it for a billion, he would do it for $1 million. So Kyle, you would do it with no caveat. You would lose your penis. What is the minimum amount you would do for the bullet ant condom? Uh, man. No, but with the caveat that he's not going to lose his penis.

No, no, no, he's going to lose his penis. I don't want to. Well, then there's no amount. But he said he would lose his penis for a million. No, he said he would risk it for the biscuit. He didn't say he guaranteed he loses penis. That's a big biscuit. All right.

All right. So Forrest, what's your answer? To the same question. Okay, so the question is, penis in bullet ant cup. Do not lose it. Will eventually return to normal. I would do it for $500 million.

Oh, so still a lie. And also probably 490 million, Kyle, for your next stupid. And by the way, we're just going to keep going down until it's 12 million. Yeah, I'd probably do it for 12 million. I would probably do it for 12 million. If the caveat that there will be no lasting damage, even if it was a year or it was worth of damage. It could be two years, though. Oh, and it would probably be painful like every day.

And you don't like sex? I don't know. I do not know. Well, since I quit the end of depressants, I like sex again. Oh, there we go. At a boy. All right. That's enough.

Let's say, yeah, Jesus. This is the Bullet Ant podcast. All right. What are you got, Pat? You're so excited about this. Well, Kyle and I made this. He was feverishly making this at the beginning because he had to put the bracket together. But we are four days away from our second annual Wild Times Christmas house party at my house.

What a treat. Kyle is coming this year. He says with girlfriend, yes or no? Yes. Okay. Liar! He's going to bail. So I'm sure.

Lots of the listeners are going to be attending and or even hosting little Christmas get-togethers because it's fun. You should. Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, they're fun. So this is a bracket of the ultimate things that you need, that we need at the Wild Times Christmas party or at your Christmas party at home. Let's go. I love a bracket. What do you guys think is going to win? What do you think is the most important thing for Christmas party?

For some reason, McDonald's hamburger is first up on the screen. Hang on. confused by that. Hang on. Okay. Jesus. Spoiler. Sorry. What do I think is going to win? Christmas PJs.

Okay. Is a contender? Let's see. It's Christmas themed. Ah, it's, there's one thing that makes Christmas Christmas. What? Eggnog. Okay.

Yeah. What do you think is going to win? Candles. Christmas candles. Okay. Oh, that's shenanigans. All right. Let's start.

On the left, the west side of the bracket, we have first round matchup, bag of McDonald's cheese. burgers or mistletoe? Why is that in the Christmas bracket? What do you mean? Well, Pat wrote this. I know why the mistletoe is there. Why is bag of McDonald's in there?

Because when you have people over at like a cozy house gathering and a bag of 30 McDonald's cheeseburgers shows up like, you know, at like 11 o'clock at night, people are very happy. Okay. It makes sense. I just didn't know as a Christmas tradition. Well, put your vote in. Yeah.

The question is, do we need the cheeseburgers? Do we need mistletoe when it's the four of us in our wife? and girlfriends. I prefer not. I like the mistletoe. I'll tell you why. It brings a little romance in. Yeah.

I corner my wife with it. Yeah. I'm going to trap your wife under it. You should. Yeah, you should. Yeah, pin her down. I think that's called a crop. No, I like it.

I like the mistletoe. I'll tell you why. I hang it above a, what is it called, doorframe in my own house, but I change where it is whenever I do it, and I don't tell anybody that I've done it.

So my wife's not very observant. So I corner her under it. Okay. And then pull her pants down. I don't do that. But I like the mistletoe. I'm going mistletoe. Okay.

I'm going to go bag of McDonald's cheeseburgers. Wow. It's such a great move at a party. You just dooredash it. It makes sense. A mistletoe is so lame. Wow. I'm deaf getting under there with a quilt.

Yeah, well, I'm going to blow a big stink. It ain't the mistletoe right over my arse. anybody wants to guess it can. And just for that reason, I'm going, I just, I mean, the cheeseburgers have nothing to do with the holidays, so I got to go mistletoe. All right, all right. Yeah, I mean, look, if you're getting a bunch of single people together,

deaf get the mistletoe. Yeah. Our crew spices things up. Ooh, I like this. What do you got here, mate? Round two. Cozy Christmas PJs that everyone's dressed in. Or fruit and cheese platter.

Yeah, with a cuttery colorful. You got lots of different. It looks lovely. You can pick at it throughout the night. Yeah. It's, I only wear PJs during one time of the year. The rest of the time of the year I wear gym shorts and an old t-shirt. I wear boxer.

Yeah, or boxers. So it's, and I love Christmas jammies around Christmas. It's jammies. Okay. Jammies. You're going jammies? Yeah, I was going to go jammies. It's like, wouldn't feel that fun.

Part of the fun of everyone being in jammies is that it really like takes everyone's ego down a notch. Yeah. Right off the bat. Nobody looks good in them. Nobody. Well, the last Christmas party, we were all in. our jammies. And we will be in this one. That's right. Christmas jammies mandatory. Make it mandatory for your party.

Red wine or the song Rocking Around the Christmas tree. Oh boy. Brenda Lee is kind of a... Yeah, dude. It's kind of tough, though. That's how she's saying. The Christmas tree of a happy flower. I've gone first every time. Somebody else got.

Red wine. I actually don't, I won't throw the party or attend it if there's no red wine. So that's a candidate to win. It's hard, though, because, like, I mean, you, you put- Everyone's got purple teeth. You built, you built this. Like, this isn't done by AI or anything. So I'm surprised that you would do this because, like,

I wanted to give it an easy path. You're right, because wine is going to win against anything, right? You can't, it's just like the beer in the barbecue one. Not for me. Yeah, might not. No. You're picking the rocking around? No, but it's not going to win against anything.

I've got several other things that will trump wine for me. So, if, if I get rid of rocking around the Christmas, Does that also get rid of home alone? As it's a very... Of course not. No, no, no, no. Then I got to go wine. Okay.

Three for one. It does not get rid of it. Because it's prominently featured in the films. Speaking of... Speaking of... Christmas vacation on repeat on the TV. Or home alone on repeat. This is rough.

I can't... I don't know how I can't... No, I know my answer. You've got to have a Christmas movie on repeat on the TV. You have to. I like, I think the Grinch is a classic. Sure. By the way.

Like the new, the newish one where, uh, what's his name? No, no, the one where. Even newer? Yeah, the one where Benedict Cumberbatch is the Grinch. I don't think I've seen that one. Dude, it's great. Oh man. It's really good.

I'm looking at something to look forward to when I get home today. Regardless, I'm a huge national lampoons guy. I don't think Christmas vacation is the best of them. I don't. And I love home alone. So home alone for me. Okay. Dude, I, I, I still have to think.

it's so hard. They're like, they're literally neck, like neck and neck. Yeah. I feel like without one or the other, my Christmas will be really. I know.

Yeah. Ah. Ew. Uh, all right, man. I got to take. I got to.

Go ahead. Home alone. Home alone. I'm going home alone. I got to. I mean, look, they're one and two for me.

I still, I think home alone's a bit more fun. Yeah. And so I'm going to, I'm going to put that on the TV. Dude. Oh, man. All right. I've got kids now.

And so I will, I really, if it was just me and no kids, I'm going Christmas vacation because I have kids now. And they get to watch their pure enjoyment when the paint can smash it. Dude, the paint can coming down the stairs. You're kidding me? Yeah. I'm going home alone, even though I, I'm going home alone, even though I. Oh, God, that's rough. Ooh.

Okay. So, this is nice. Forrest's wife introduced us to hot buttered rum, which is an alcoholic beverage. Oh, my gosh. Very delicious. That was so good. Cinnamony, right? Very.

Delicious. Hot buttered rum or tray of Christmas cookies sitting out that you can just pick at. That is another difficult choice. It really is. Because it's not like you're drinking 10. You're not drinking the hot buttered rum to get hammered. No. You're drinking the hot buttered rum to have the tasty treat that you're getting from the cookie platter.

That's a really good point. Yeah. But you get a little buzz to go with it. And that's why I got to choose the hot buttered rum. See, I believe there's going to be other alcohol available, and I think without a festive, colorful platter of Christmas cookies, it's going to take away some joy. So I'm going on Christmas cookies. I don't, I love cookies, by the way.

They're my vice of a sweet thing. Like, I'll never touch another piece of candy, cake, anything, but cookies. No gushers. Lunch fruit. Bubble cream. But at any other time of the year, it can be Easter, it can be Halloween. I mean, I'm conscious of the amount of sugar and sweets that I eat. Sure.

You know, just like, okay, I'll have a cookie. I'll have two cookies. Not if that Christmas platter comes out. I'll tell you what, I'm eating seven of those. No problem. Spread over six to eight hours. Yeah, you're probably eating one an hour. Yeah, I mean, maybe three an hour.

But yeah, so for me, it's got to be the Christmas cookies. Okay. Yeah. Sorry. And I love Jess's hot buttered rums. All right. All right. Now we're talking.

Cheddar jalapeno sausages sliced on a platter on the table, the wild boar. That's right. That's right. Oh, my God. Do you still have some? So many. I'm bringing so many. Oh, yes, dude.

Don't even, don't dig into your stash. We tried to cook it and it wasn't as good as yours anyways. And I was like, next time I need to know exactly what he did because it was so good. So cheddar jalapeno sausages or spiked eggnog. Mm, boy. I need to say less because eggnog might be the best drink ever invented. I only like it for three exact weeks of the year. The rest of the same is disgusting.

Well, it ruins your stomach for days. Oh, yeah. It's horrible. Yeah, but I love it. I had one glass a month ago when I was in Denver, my stomach still hurts. By the way, that combination of food will kill you. Yeah. Yeah, that takes a year off.

Yeah. Oh, boy. I think this is going to be quick. It's a spiked egg dog. Absolutely mandatory. Yeah, the sausage doesn't do it as far as like holiday joy. I'm kind of my meter. That's how I'm gaugging everything.

Yeah, you must. Yeah. The nog brings the joy meter up just a few notches. 100%. Yeah. For me, that's going all the way. Well, Imagine a Christmas party without a decorated Christmas tree lit up.

So it's decorated Christmas tree with lights or white elephant gift exchange. Wow. Oh, okay, I'll go first. Easy one for me. I really like giving gifts. I really don't care that much about receiving gifts. I know that sounds dumb, but I really feel that way. Sure.

As an adult male with excess, like minimal excess income, I buy myself whatever I want whenever I want it. Sure. Because I have no self-control. Also, getting gifts is just like, oh, cool, more stuff. But you're still giving gifts at the way of the open. But I love giving gifts. Yeah, so it's not cut and dry here. That's true.

But I can give a gift any time of the year. I can only have a Christmas tree. Christmas tree. Yeah, I mean, it's a no-brainer. What are you going to do without the Christmas tree? I have to walk into a Christmas party and there's no tree. It's just a pile of presents, no tree. You just turn and leave.

It's just mistletoe. All right, trees advancing. Hot tub? Oh, my God. A cold weather hot tub session? Such a delight. Ooh, outside of a cabin, a log cabin. Or gingerbread house kit.

I'll go first. Fuck gingerbread houses. I don't get a shit. Like, legit, they can fuck right off. Give your kid another year. Then you'll be like, wow, gingerbread house really eats up four hours. True. Yeah, for my wife and them.

And I'll be doing something else clearly. Be in the hot tub. Yeah, exactly. Should we just sweep it? Yeah, three, two, one, hot tub. Hot tub. All right. No adult likes the gingerbread house.

Okay, we're moving on here. Second round. on this side of the bracket. Mistletoe or Christmas PJs? Christmas PJs. Christmas PJs. Not even a question. I don't need mistletoe to make out

with Forrest's wife. All right. Home Alone on Loop on the TV or red wine? You know right here, like I'm looking at it like, God, this is perfect. This is brutal too.

But looking at the combo of it, it's like, yeah, this is what I want. I want the one. I know. This is the party. Yeah. Home alone.

I'll drink wine all year long. I only watch home alone a couple of weeks out of the year. That's good logic. Yeah. I let you go. I mean, if I knew that eggnog was going to advance, I could get rid of red wine, but right now I'm going to keep red wine in the mix. I want Home Alone on the TV. I don't want it to just be turned off. Yeah. But I have to keep the red wine for now. I got to go, yeah, just because there will be other alcohol, I got to go home alone here. Okay. I can't get rid of it. I'm happy at advanced. By the way, did John Williams ever do any other music?

He did Star Wars, didn't he? No, that's not... Is that John Williams? I don't know what he did, but he did. He's like a very famous composer. It's just like there's like a huge thing at the bottom. It says music by John Williams. He's like a huge guy.

And if I'm wrong, please skewer me in the comments because I could be. I'm pretty sure that Star Wars. Jaws. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cookie Platter versus eggnog. Eggnog.

If I'm going to take those calories, I want it to have booze. Yeah, exactly. The fuck out of here, cookie platter. I love you cookie platter. Not as much as I love it. All right. Hot tub or lit Christmas tree and what is a very brutal decision? Yeah, that's tough.

But I'll just start it. I mean, but dude, again, then this is going to sweep the whole thing. And it comes down to the thing. But it's fair. Yeah, I know. But it's like, okay, so if at the beginning of the bracket, you ask what's going to win, everybody would say Christmas tree. We did that.

Nobody said that. I know because you didn't think of it. Right. So just pick. I got to go Christmas tree. but somebody should knock out Christmas tree. Well, I'll tell you what, it's not going to be me. Yeah, it's not going to be me because we did the party last year.

My pool wasn't done. Oh, dude. We didn't have a hot tub. But you did have three Christmas trees. Yes. So Christmas tree. Remember that? Yes.

When we do... Let's just touch on that for a second. Do you remember how he had three Christmas trees? Oh, yeah. He had a Christmas tree up in like in June, I think. Christmas trees advancing. By the way, can you turn your whole pool into a hot tub for the Christmas party again? You did do that

I will look into it I have done it before It's got up to $800 97.6 degrees All right Wow We've got tough PJs

Again a perfect Combo Or home alone I can't start Any time It's such a good combo I can go It's for me

Because I pictured The party with everyone In plain clothes And then I pictured it In PJs with not home alone on the TV and I prefer that. Yeah, that's fair.

All right, and to counter that, you've just painted a picture for me. I can picture people. Maybe they're just in other comfy PJs. They can't be in PJs at all. No, fuck no.

All right. Even if we're in a fucking boat, a mistletoe bowtie, I'm going home alone here. Kyle, if you show up to this party, which you probably won't. But if you do and you're not wearing Christmas jammies, don't come inside.

All right. If you're not wearing Christmas jammies, and a bullet-a-a-condom. You should kill yourself. What did you pick home-al-lon? I went home alone. Yeah, jammies. All right.

It's just like, it's a whole seasonal thing. Yeah, but still. All right. Now we're into some horrible decisions. Yeah, this is where Christmas gets ruined when you only have one of these two things. I heard someone say once that life is just a series of things that are taken away from you. Right here, we have Christmas tree versus eggnog.

Yeah. And one must go. Okay. Oh, boy. This is for the Wild Times Christmas party, correct? Yeah. All right. Hot take here.

Controversial, I know. Our party will be a lot of fun Sands tree, but it will not be a lot of fun, Sands Eggnog. This is not for all of Christmas. This is for our specific party. I could live without the tree.

I wouldn't be stoked. But I think, I would have complaints. You'd be a grump. I would. Pat will be a little grinch if there are no trees. I'll ruin the night. for everybody.

Yeah. Yeah. But you'll still attend. I'll attend because there's eggnog. So I'm going to give a vote to eggnog here. Wow. Boy. It's so hard.

It's eggnog for me. You're going to. Oh, I thought you were a tree guy for sure. Because the logic holds up. It holds up. You can have other lights on, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So Christmas tree is gone. You can have the YOLG on the TV. Christmas tree is gone out of the Christmas tree bracket. Here we go. Nagnaug has advanced. Down to the finals. PJs, do you need everyone in PJs

or do you need spiked nog at your party? Wow. This is getting... This is hellish. It's so hard. I mean, how do you choose between these? Why do we put ourselves through this? I don't know.

It's actually making me unhappy. It's stressful. It really is. It's the thing. You're taking it away. I think it's like a... It's a way to keep us strong, fellas. All right, let's take it.

It's really, but it's not about taking it away. It's which is more mandatory. Okay. Which adds more fun. I got to go PJs. Well, it's really hard. Here's how I'm looking at it.

PJs are for the family. Eggnog is for the boys. Yeah. And that's a great point. You know, and I'm a very selfish human being, so I'll take the eggnog. So you're the tiebreaker here, Pat. It's unbelievably hard.

Yeah, it is. I mean, the reality is, if I knew we couldn't have nog, I would just make sure there's other types of booze there. I want everyone. and PJs. Oh, PJs advancing to the finals of that side of the bracket, yep. I need it.

We got a fresh bracket side coming out. The Eastern Division. So PJs takes it on the west side. That's right. And it will face the winner of the Eastern Conference. All right. What do we got? Moon shine. Or spray can

snow on the windows. I love spray can snow. I love spray can snow. Everybody hates it in my house. I'll spray the whole fucking house in that. I'll spray right in my mouth. Oh, yes. I'm going sprayed on Kyle's condombe. Dude. I'm going spray can snow.

I don't need moonshine. Well, I think it's pretty clear what you're going to pick. Yes, please. I do like this one, though, because they're both kind of like, you know, you don't need either of them. But, yeah, we'll make it a sweep. I'm going to go with the snowy spray. In the words of, in the words of 50 cents from the windows to the walls, you know, I will spray can foam. Oh, dude, everywhere.

Let's go. So this is other Christmas lights that aren't on the. tree just throughout the house. Strands of interior lights. Yeah. Or each person has a stuffed stocking. This is hard. Gifts for them in it. Because taking away the,

taking away the non-tree lights, like that is, that's crazy. Well, now you have to have other lights. Because tree's gone? It's not festive otherwise. Otherwise, just a house party. So I mean, otherwise just go party at Walmart. That's right. Well, they'll have a tree. But then you got no, you got no stockings.

I can, I can, I can, about the stockings. You can't, but can be your kids? It's not Christmas Day. It's December 19th. It's a party. Okay, you've sold me. I'll get rid of the stockings as well.

Sweep for the lights. You got to keep the lights. Yeah, the stockings was for your children. Oh, boy. Mariah Carey song, All I Want for Christmas is you. Or a couch fort for kids and adults to snuggle. I'll go first.

This is easy for me. I'm going to be too drunk to build that type of a fort. I'm going all I want for Christmas. Christmas is you by Mariah Carey. Could we get a little sample, a little audio sample, Kyle? Well, no, it's a public. Oh, God damn it. So it's an immediate demonitized.

So Peter, before the Wild Times party, me, you, Josh, and Justin, four of us, four adult men, had our own little bro hang. That's right. And we sat in a couch for all together and drank wine and watched Christmas movies. We literally, it was fantastic. Full bellies, glasses of wine. laying next to each other. Yeah, it was great. I'll invite you next time.

Oh, please. He was invited. He didn't come. No, I think it was just the last minute thing. But anyway, I'm going couch for it. It really adds to the vibe, just a chill place to lay down, watch a little home alone. Think hard about this for us. I am.

I am. And I really want Mariah Carey to make more money on that one song than she made. But come on. Like, can you imagine a Christmas? I get it. Like, if it's playing, which it was when I was in Denver on the first of November, that song was playing. I get it. You're like sick of it. But it's playing in my

head right now. I swear to God. If you don't have that song during the Christmas season, it's like, is it really Christmas? I'm sold. Peter's right. It's Mariah Carey. Get out of here, for it. Yeah, he's right. We do that anytime in here. I'm going to put it on my car as soon as I get out of this. I love this next one.

So what is that one, Kyle? That is Michael Boubley All I want for Christmas. No, no, he does a whole album. Sure. I mean, Pat, sing it. Come on.

Toys and every store. So it's Michael Boubley's Christmas album or devil dags. Dude, the Michael Bublié Christmas album is like it's got every classic on it. So all the ones you've heard from Bing Crosby all the way up to Mariah Carey. But it's all done in this perfect, eloquent voice by Michael Bubliere. So it's like every Christmas classic perfectly done. Sure. So that's your pick?

No. I stop to think. Devils eggs are pretty good. So for me, deviled eggs is like you never really get them. No, because they're a massive amount of labor to make an hell of egg. Yeah. So if there's a little tray of deviled eggs, I really want that. I'm going deviled eggs.

So when I married into a Jewish family, there are deviled eggs at most events. And I do love them. But I mean, they're one of my favorite. but I do have them several times a year and dude there's just so many good songs on the place. So pick boo-so. I think.

Before I answer, do you want to just be shocked by something? Kyle, what's your take on deviled eggs? Not a fan. I heard them setting what? The theater's frozen.

Do you want to fight him right now? I'll say this. I had them once when I was maybe 12 and I was like gross. You've never had them after that? He doesn't. Dude, your palate refined. I will tell you.

I thought they were gross when I was a kid. too. Yeah. And they're awesome. Maybe I need to give them another. Well, listen, so you've got to leave

them on the menu for the party. So, yeah. I heard to him, because this was the one part I walked in on when they were building the bracket. Yeah, you submitted deviled eggs. And I heard,

I heard Kyle go, ugh. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, well, you're awful. If it wasn't so valuable for the podcast,

I'd say we'd beat his ass right now. But don't advance it yet, even though it's deviled eggs. Kyle had one submission that's on the side of the bracket to come. Uh-huh. When it comes up, I want you,

Because Forrest knows what it is. I want you to guess which was Kyle's submission. Which was Kyle's, okay. So I'll just pick out of the next ones that come up. Yeah, that hasn't come. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. I don't even like Michael Bubla. Kyle, you'll try the deviled eggs at the party. Yeah, okay. All right, here we go. Hot cocoa station with marshmallows. Mm-hmm.

Or cinnamon bun. Dude, I've had too many fucking things to drink at this point. I'm going cinnamon. A lot of booze. And by the way, Kyle picks cinnamon bun. He did. Yeah. It's weird.

How did you know that? It's just because it's the dumbest fuck. Kyle, you now have to bring homemade cinnamon buns. It's just not a very holiday-y. I did hear this and it's funny because I'd forgotten it. But he didn't say cinnamon bun because that's how you or I or any normal human would say. We were sitting there and they were brainstorming how to fill out the rest of the brag and he goes cinnamon bun. It was like a four-second pause between the work.

We put a question mark at the end of bun. And then he goes, bun thing. Yeah. I mean, it's not festive for you guys? No, it is. It's extremely festive. Yeah, it's not only is it festive. I picked it. I'm going to vote for it over on chocolate. Yeah, me too. Me too. All three of us. It's a sweeper. So please bring some, Kyle. But if you don't make any, and if you go to Costco and buy that cheap stuff,

oh, the Costco ones are so good, though, bro. Oh, they're so good. Yeah. They're the best. What is that, Kyle? That is the movie Elf versus spiked apple cider. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. Oh, that is good. Spiked apple cider versus the movie elf. Okay. On the TV.

On repeat for eight hours. I do love the movie elf. When he goes to hug the raccoon, oh boy, that's a good yuck. So many good moments in the elf. Do we have any booze anymore? I've just had enough to drink. I'm going elf. All right.

I'm going to go spiked apple cider because I think we've lost all the good festive drinks. And a good holiday festive drink is very important to me. Yeah. Must have one at least. I'm actually not going to use the logic of. everything else is gone. I'm using the logic of which would I prefer in a vacuum. Sure.

All right. And in this case, I would rather have elf on the TV. Yeah, it's a delight. Here's why you can drink no more than one spiked cider. And you can watch elf a hundred times. It's still funny.

Oh, my God. Look at this. Okay, the song, Jingle Bell Rock. Yeah. Or a cozy warm hearth, a fireplace. Cozy warm hearth, dude.

Just looking at it, that's all I would actually need for Christmas. sweeper. Yeah, it's got to be. It's got to be. It's got to be. Fired.

And the thing about that last photo with the fireplace. I don't want to sit near the furniture at all. No, I must be on the floor. On the floor by the fire. Which is why the couch is of course. Of course. Come on a handy.

$250 worth of Taco Bell. That's just out. You can nuke it. You know, whatever you need. My mouth is watering right now. Or several pairs of boxing gloves. Oh, man.

Yo. I mean, you guys. put this on here for me and I won't disappoint. It's the Taco Bell. Yeah, the truth is like the boxing glove thing is way more

of like a July 4th summer. I don't want any rowdy boxing. No. So here's the other thing here's the other thing about the Taco Bell. Let's say you fall asleep or you have like a lot left over. First of all you wake up. You're like, oh dude.

A cold soft shell taco Bell Taco is delicious. You put in the micrate for 10 seconds or the air fry are even better. But like at 2 a.m. man you just go and you fucking start eating leftover Taco Bell. No matter what day of the year, it's a fucking winner. Your wife must hate you.

By the way, no, this is one of the things we got married about. Oh, wow. Okay. I think it was their first date. It was. Was it really? Was it really? That's hilarious. And fucking Taco Bell. Yeah, I mean, Taco Bell is advancing. I don't want fighting at the Christmas party. That's a summer

activity when I've been drinking hard beers. Exactly. Yeah. All right. What will go face off against what advanced Christmas PJs? Snow on the window or interior Christmas lights? It's for me. Does anybody want to go first? It's going to be the Christmas lights for me.

Really? Yeah. All right. Well, Pat's going to have to be the tiebreaker because I don't need the lights if I got fake snow all over my windows. I'm super sorry to disappoint for us. We will have it. We will have it on the night.

Thank God. But in a vacuum. Christmas lights. Christmas lights. Just sets a vibe. It's sexy. Makes everyone feel super sexy in their PJs. All right.

Deviled eggs are all I want for Christmas is you by Mariah. Well, we know how Big Pat is on lighting, too. So it's a very big... Oh, it's a huge point of issue for him. All right. This is the first time in history these two photos have been near together. That's true. Wow.

It's tough. I love those. I'm going to pick deviled eggs. All I want for Christmas is you, Mariah Carey. If I can only have one, I know we can have, I can replace the joy I get from Mariah Carey. The novelty of the devil egg is too fun. Fair enough. Dude, that Taco Bell and Eggnog.

I really want to see, I'm excited to see Kyle try deviled eggs as an adult. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's probably going to eat half the tray after he has one. Kyle, will you eat it and do a live food review of deviled eggs? We can post it on the YouTube. Yeah. All right. Get ready for that. That's coming. Cinnamon buns or elf? Elf.

Elf. Ridiculous. Whoever picks cinnamon buns is an idiot. Sweet treat, sweet treat, sweet treat. Yeah. Come on. Versus lots of yucks. Sorry, Kyle. No, I think, well, it's for the party. It's not for Christmas morning. No, you can do it in a vacuum. However, your brain works. All right, right now I'm pretty hungry. I haven't had lunch yet. So I'm going for the cinnamon bun.

Yeah, is the lunch here, Kyle. It's on the way. Okay, good. Elf. Yeah, I'm not mad about that. I'm not mad about losing that one. I want Will Ferrell on the TV. Yeah, he's so funny. Cozy fireplace?

No. Or $250 worth of Taco Bell. That's Peter's perfect picture. Those two things together. Seriously. That would be the best night of your life. A hundred percent. That little log cabin.

Look at that place. Oh, he's a little bear rug there, but still. Oh, my God, dude, this is wrong. I'm going to go, I'll jump in. Fireplace. Because there's other food. There is other food. I have to have Taco Bell.

Yeah, but not Taco Bell. Yeah, the Taco Bell's fun. Peter's got a big thing about. it's like it's really making me because you eat a bunch right yeah then you feel sick fuck off to the hot tub for a while you come back in you're like oh dude I forgot we had this that's right I'm gonna let you go I mean listen I don't know I don't know I think you should just take Taco Bell I think that's what you want but dude look at that cozy cap and fire yeah plus there's a cat in that picture there is a little white cat yeah I got to go Taco Bell

all right sorry Peter Taco Bell's got to go bye bye yeah I want that fire It's fine. I'll still order all of that. Send me that picture, Kyle. He'll wait until he leaves. Interior lights or deviled eggs, I'll jump in. Interior Christmas lights must be. Wow. There must be sexy lighting.

I'm going deviled eggs, man. I want those fucking eggs. They think it's because I'm hungry. They do look good, but I'll pick the lighting in this situation. I am hungry, and that does sound good. We're balancing each other out. We are, but the thing is, am I the only one who has deviled eggs at 4th of July? Is that just me?

No, I've said it. We have it all the time. That's what I'm saying. It's like a summer food sometimes. So the Christmas lights, however, are a Christmas only thing. All right, yeah, you're right. So lights for me. I'm switching my vote. I'm going light.

I was just hungry. All right. So my final's elf on the TV on loop or fireplace. Cozy. Fireplace for me. It's just so nice. That picture makes you want to. I'm going to jump in and go elf.

For this reason, I don't have a fireplace. So that's a, it can't happen. Yeah. And so elf, I can make happen. All right. Which would you prefer, Forest, in a vacuum? Elf. Yeah.

Because, Peter, because I will have the fireplace sometime in January, maybe in February, maybe even into March if it's a cold year. But Elf, I will stop watching on December 25th. It's true. I will. I won't watch it again. It is a very Christmas type thing that would only ever be watched during Christmas. All right. To advance to the finals, Elf versus Interior Lights.

Interior Lights for me. Christmas lights must be present. See, my logic and the last one's gone now. Because they're both awful after December 20th. Exactly. Yeah, you can't use that logic. That logic. She gone. So now you've got to think. Now I got to think.

All right, Peter, you're going to be the tiebreaker because I'm picking Elf over the lights. It's so Christmassy. Just think of our young brosters and sisters that are having a gathering. They're single. They've got their whole lives ahead of them. Do you want them to have terrible lighting? No, I think you're right. And, you know, I would be number three versus Home Alone and Christmas to vacation.

So I'm going. Really? Interesting. Absolutely. What wins the ultimate Christmas party? Oh, wow. I did not know we were that far along. Christmas lights or Christmas PJs that everyone is wearing.

I think you got to think about it this one as one means you're missing the other. You have to. The finals is always that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Kyle, count us down three, two, one. Let's all yell it out.

All right. Wait, wait. Give me like three, two, one. All right, go ahead. Okay. All right. Three, two, one. Lights.

Oh, we swept it. Did we? Did you say lights too? Yeah. Because you can have Christmas without the jammies, but you can't have it without the decoration.

So here's what I did. I pictured all of us standing there in jeans and a t-shirt, but lots of Christmas lights. Yeah. And then I pictured us just with the house lights on. In normal jamas? In P jays.

Awful. And that's shit. Yeah. Yeah. To be clear, I want, well, there's probably too many too, way too many drinks and song choices, but otherwise all of these things at the party. I think we can have like almost all of them. Yeah, I think so.

Possible. What's the least likely? The bag of McDonald's. Yeah. Or the cinnamon bun. You think wrong, sir. Cinnamon buns. No, Kyle's bringing cinnamon buns.

Yeah. I think all of those movies can make an appearance. We'll be hanging out long enough. No, dude, those jars of moonshine are out by the checkout at BevMun's. during Christmas time. I don't know why, but you like grab one on the way out. That's the only time I've ever drank it. I know, me too.

And it's because they put, that's where they put it. Yeah, it's bizarre. I didn't even know moonshine was a Christmas drink. It's the sausage then. It must be the sausage. What about it? That you can live without? Won't make the party.

Are you, that's the only thing I have on that list. I have 400 pounds of bore sausage. Just is bringing hot buttered rum. And I would really like Jess to also make the devil's eggs because it's a lot of work. Yeah, she must do it. Will she? Yeah, she will. Okay.

She will for sure. Okay. Hey, that was nice. I like it. I'm curious, brosters, if you're listening at home,

do you enjoy the brackets? Because I really like doing the brackets. They're fun. It's really fun about it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is a great one.

I've gotten a lot of good feedback just from friends that listen that they love the brackets. Oh, good. Good, good. Let us know. All right, guys, before we wrap out one more segment, I want to tell you about my detour destination of the week, brought to you by Toyota trucks.

Oh, Peter bringing one to the table today. Any guesses? No. What are you doing? I'm doing. I don't know. Extraterrestrial highway. Route 66. Yes.

That's right. There's tons of places to see on this, man. You hop in your Toyota truck. You get all your everything you need to go, just basically travel across the country, and you get into alien land over there in Nevada. Your favorite. This is where a lot of the, you'll see,

there's a famous extraterrestrial highway sign that everybody takes and snaps a picture of. You got to hop out, get that picture with the family, and put your crazy alien hats out. And they have this awesome alien research center. It's called like Heiko. But you go there, dude, and they have this giant chrome alien statue. Oh. Obviously a gift shop with the gray aliens and everything that you could possibly enjoy.

Probably some beef jerky. That's right. Definitely beef jerky. It's root 66 after all. Yeah. And then there is this little, I forget what it's called. There's like a little diner that everybody goes to. It's called like, I can't remember, little a Len or something like that.

But it's this very famous diner slash motel packed with UFO lore, all this kind of the alien kitsch things you could. Is that it? Yeah, that's that. Oh, wait, that's not it. That's the UFO museum, which is also awesome. It's shaped like a UFO craft. Dude, if you're in aliens, man, you got to go check out all this stuff that is on there. But at that little diner, I remember they had this famous alien burger that you could get.

Okay. It's huge. It's got green sauce. It's delicious. And now, guys, this is the thing that makes it the extraterrestrial highway. You can go right to the perimeter where you're legally allowed to get to for Area 51 before they come out. Oh, that's fun. It's true.

You off there. So this is a road trip for anyone who's interested in UFO. Yeah, UFOs. So, I mean, it's all set up. By the way, like, also if you're interested in there, you, at nighttime, you got your camper, you hop in the bed of your Toyota truck, you lay down some bedding and you look at the sky. There's no lights. You know, you're like in the middle of the desert for half this thing.

You pull over and spend the night just watching the sky. Guarantee you're going to see something moving around out there. Peter, I like how much thought you put into this. I like it because it sounds like something I would like. like to do. It's so kitchy, but so much fun. Like if you, Peter, if you texted me like two months in advance and said, let's go do this Route 66 thing. I'd be like, that sounds really fun. Oh my God. I'm telling you, man. It's a, you know, I did it when I was single and I was just driving and I camped. It was amazing. And I, I will say very specifically, there's this one spot you can go.

It's called like Dark Sky Pullout. It's on like Nevada 375. And when you like, like, There's no lights anywhere. So literally, picture you're laying in the bed of your truck. You can see the full milky way. Like, you know, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like, you see this in reality, not just a picture. And, like, you can see every single star and you see everything in the sky, man.

I cannot recommend enough if you are into UFOs, which are a real thing. Hey, that is our detour destination of the week. Brought to you by Toyota Trucks and Peter. Yeah. Which is a really good idea. It sounds awesome. Merry Christmas, everybody. Peter, do the thing. Go. Go to wild times.

com forward slash info. You can get access to all the extra podcasts we do. We call them bonus podcast of Wild Times Underground. For a month. That's we do four extra. There's a huge backlog, by the way. So we have like over 150 of paywalled podcasts there that you can go and check out the whole library. Wild Times.

Dot Club forward slash info. Card games there too. Check it out. Good night, everybody. up a card game. It's not too late. It's a great Christmas play. Two days. Two day shipping. Prime shipping on Amazon. Get it in time for a Christmas party. That's right.

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