Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Man Killed After Lion Attack at Zoo in Brazil

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

This week we discuss a man being mauled by a lion at a zoo, a man approached a pack of wolves in Yellowstone, and and wolves seen using tools to fish. Enjoy! (TWT 192)Toyota: Discover your uncharted t...erritory. Learn more at toyota.com/trucks/adventure-detoursRocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster at https://rocketmoney.com/wildtimesGet More Wild Times Podcast Episodes:https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wildtimespod/subscribehttps://www.patreon.com/wildtimespodMore Wild Times:Instagram: http://instagram.com/wildtimespodTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespodcastFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/X: https://x.com/wildtimespodDiscord: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9DbWebsite: https://wildtimes.club/Merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merchBattle Royale Card Game: https://wildtimes.club/brOur Favorite Products:https://www.amazon.com/shop/thewildtimespodcastMusic/Jingles by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkeyThis video may contain paid promotion.#ad #sponsored #forrestgalante #extinctoralive #podcast

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Starting point is 00:01:00 Happy holidays Wow, look at you go I'm happy I'm dressed up today Do you ever wear a button down shirt Without a whitefeeder under it? Not really What does that do? What does the shirt underneath do?
Starting point is 00:01:18 Because it's not like it keeps armpit sweat in Yeah Well, it just keeps other sweat from Like getting onto the shirt And then the shirt doesn't really absorb it So it sticks to my body And then it's like cold But it seems counterfeit
Starting point is 00:01:31 Because if you're adding a layer, you're going to make yourself sweat more. What the hell are you wearing? Just a white t-shirt. And white shoes and white teeth. I mean, what's going? He's going to look fresh, bro. The whites of your eyes are white. You look fresh as F.
Starting point is 00:01:45 We were given Forrest a very hard time about the tightness of his pants. This is, no. Hold on. Hold on a minute here. By the way, this is the Wild Times podcast. Really good podcast. These are the hosts. You know, let me just say something.
Starting point is 00:02:00 Yeah, please. That's what you should do. Otherwise, we'll have dead air. I think that's why you wore the clothes. You wanted to say something. Elderly middle-aged gentleman to my right. Yeah? Well, that's what you look like. Here's the thing. Shut the fuck up. You look like you should be on a boat. I look very put together. Thank you. It's a look.
Starting point is 00:02:16 These children that I travel with now for social media that are in their 20s and up to 30. Right. Pulled me aside to tell me that skinny jeans are out. and I'm wearing like dad pants. These are not skinny jeans. Those are not skinny. These are fitted pants. Yes.
Starting point is 00:02:36 This is what a put-together adult looks like. Correct. These kids today are wearing baggy pants like it's 1999. Yes, they are. They look terrible. Jink goes a thing again. Dude, it looks terrible. Women as well.
Starting point is 00:02:48 The tight-fitting gene is very out right now. But here's the thing. I don't really care. I don't care either. I do because I travel with young, cool kids and I'm trying to fit in. I'm trying to look good and fit in. But I put on a pair of baggy pants
Starting point is 00:03:03 and I look like a guy in his 70s who goes golfing. Wait, scroll down, stop. Yeah. Scroll down. Right now. Pull that up. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Hold on because I'm angry about this. I like it. I like the way she looks in those pants. Now, let me show you something. I sent this to these children. Okay. Here is a, pause it for a second, Kyle. Here's a very hot woman.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Okay. Okay. On the left, she is dressing appropriately for her physique and for our age group. And what she says is 2015 style. That's her 2015 style. On the right is her 2025 style.
Starting point is 00:03:35 I showed this to these infants that I travel with. And they both agreed that she looks hotter in 2025 style. Now, take a look at this. We're going to objectify this lady for a little bit here. I don't agree. I think they're just saying that to get you riled up. It worked. Can you hear how upset I am?
Starting point is 00:03:51 Look at how stupid her legs look. She might have the world's worst legs under there. I would never know. Also, they're bow-legged. Well, she is with her baggy pants, but she looks great in her fitted jeans. I like her jacket and top better from 2025 mixed with the pants from the 2015. Which is really what we're talking about. It's an annoying thing because the style has changed drastically and I don't like the new style.
Starting point is 00:04:17 No, it's horrible. And wearing baggy pants. Dude, they're wearing the same stuff we wore in high school. In eighth grade, that's right. The cargo pants? Yeah. The cargo pockets on the front of the pants. It's nostalgic for me.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Then why are you wearing nicely fitted jeans? Wow, they sent me these pants for free. Yes, they did. I just wear it. The kids, the kids don't. Wait, so they're giving you the business about that particular pair of pants? Well, these are, yes, exactly. This exact pair of pants except in blue gene.
Starting point is 00:04:48 This is my gray gene. Got it. It's a great gene moment. Yeah. Well, so what is the thought process behind this outfit? Like, why did you wear this? you do look like very daddish. It's the most...
Starting point is 00:04:59 How dare you? It's the most basic, classic look. White T, white sneakers, jean. Yeah. But I'm asking, I'm asking Forrest, shut your mouth. Why did you decide to wear this outfit? Well, candidly, because I, for the first time in my life, bought white leather sneakers and thought they looked really nice,
Starting point is 00:05:15 and then realized that they have to be worn with a white shirt. Okay. Yeah. Or at the gym, you can wear them. No, not these. They're leather. Yeah. So I was like, I got, so I bought a white t-shirt and I put the outfit together.
Starting point is 00:05:25 Okay. And you, I mean, you've got on like a, like a sweater. That's like what I wore to my eighth grade confirmation. Can I say something, though? I doubt you have a sweater this nice. Can I say something about everything that's going on right now? We don't look like dads. We look good.
Starting point is 00:05:41 We look like young, hip, cool people. Kyle, you eat a dick right now, okay? This is not what my dad looked like when I was seven years old, like my six years old, like my son is. He wore one of those fucking two. colored. Remember where the buttoned down shirt had a different sleeve and color color? Yeah, I absolutely do. Yeah, he wore those with like dress. Like he didn't look cool
Starting point is 00:06:05 like we that is what we look like to the young ones. No, there's no way, bro. Listen, I want everybody to comment. Don't you dare, Patrick. Don't you dare. Please, bro, you're wearing very nice sweater. We look good. Comment on our appearance on this podcast. Please. Objectify us like we just did. Anything. Tears apart. But this is ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:06:27 These kids giving me shit about wearing skinny jeans. Yeah, the baggy jeans. They're coming up in parachute pants like it's fucking 1994. What were your pants like when you were in high school? Or shorts. I had jinkos and khakis. I wore cargo shorts that came down to the knee. Past the knee.
Starting point is 00:06:44 They were at the knee and they were about this big around by the knee. And they had about 18 pockets on them. It's great. Very utility. That and like carpenter pants. jeans. They had the loop, the hammer loop. That's right. It was very cool. Very baggy.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Pouca shell necklace. Pooka shell necklace. Relatively type T-shirt. Or a hemp necklace. Wet gel hair. Wet gel hair. Yeah. Slick gel hair. Spiked up. That's what we should be bringing back. That was a vibe. Do you guys think that there's any animals that think about this shit?
Starting point is 00:07:15 No. They have better things to do like trying to survive. I'm not male birds. I'm saying, right? They do. They peacocked. This is what you kids look like now, by the way. Look at this, this. this thing, this men's early 2000s fashion, it's the same as what you guys are wearing now. It's great. It all goes in cycles. Skinny jeans will come back. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:32 No, you should throw those jeans away, though, Forrest. I hope you're joking. They're super tight. You're having a laugh. I wish they were painted on. Kyle, hit the thing. What's in the news? Sir, news from the underground.
Starting point is 00:07:47 Do, do. Got a video for you. Say more. Say more. Say more. Got a video if you're just listening. Forrest, will you, actually, Peter, will you narrate what you're seeing? sure. I see a man in what looks like some type of animal enclosure at a zoo. Oh shit. There's a lion. There is a lion. What's he doing? He's on a tree. Oh, why is he doing this? Oh, my God. He's coming
Starting point is 00:08:07 down. He's coming down. What's he doing? No. Holy shit, he slides down and immediately gets attacked by a lion, dude. Get out. Get out. Get out. He like willingly gave himself to that lion, too. Turned off. Get it off. This is awful. So there's a guy with a fire hydrant spray. Thank God. Did the kids survive? No. Literally the headline says, man dead after mauling. That is the one of the worst ways that you could go. That is awful. Yeah, that's as bad as it gets. I mean, I know happy holidays, everybody.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Go back to the tree climb just really quick. We don't need to see him get attacked again. But look, he can see the lion is very much so eyeballing him and he decides to skirt down towards it. Yeah. Why? Now the lion starts to swat at him. That hurt. I promise you right there. Oh, he got the tree, not his leg at first. Get out. Yeah. So what do you even do there?
Starting point is 00:08:58 This was an intentional act. Oh, this poor guy. By this young man. He's 19 years old. This was at a, uh, a zoo in Brazil. Zouro Botanico. Arruda. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:09:10 I'm not my friends. Camara in Juala, in Brazil. In Brazil. Yeah. Uh, the 19 year old man climbed a six meter high wall. So that's, what is that in feet? Over 20. It's a lot of feet.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Yeah, that's a high-ass wall, roughly. Um, and bypassed. security fencing and then descended a tree into the pen as onlookers screamed and then the lioness named Leona basically pounced right away. So she was like
Starting point is 00:09:36 uh, um, mauled him, he died, he didn't make it. Uh, what do we think, uh, what do we think she was intending to do? Just eliminate a threat or was that a food? No, she was a food. That lion is bored as shit.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Yeah. And all of a sudden, a fucking in and out burger with legs rolls in, to her enclosure. Got it. She's got nothing else to do. I mean, just like all lions in captivity. Her instinct is fully honed in that I can finally eat these things that have been looking at me for my entire life.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Not to mention it says here, what you think is a great thing, that they are not euthanizing the animal. Yeah. Because the animal is not to blame here. The kid is for doing that. So it came out later that he may have had some mental health issue, previous mental health issues. But it's weird to see what it looks like to see someone get attacked by a lion. Yeah, it's not pleasant to look at. I mean, it's essentially the same as looking at a lion take
Starting point is 00:10:37 down like a, like a deer or something, you know, it's not pretty to look at. No, it sucks. I'll say it's not like that. And here's why. Because when a lion attempts to kill an antelope, there's a back and forth in the sense of, you know, say it's an Impala or Springbok or even a bigger antelope. The animal has like, you know, I think, look this up, Kyle, but a lion's success rate of kills is something like 30%. It might even be lower than that, 20%, something like that. So every time they attempt to kill something, what does it say, Cal 17 to 19? 17 to 19%. Yeah, that's low.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Okay, the success rate for that lion was a hundred percent regardless of the situation. Sure. Because we're a fleshy meatbag with no. No speed, no antlers, no agility, you know, nothing that can mitigate a lion attack. Like it's just, that was like watching an execution versus watching a hunt. Yeah. So it says, yeah, 17 to 19 for a lone lion, 30% even when hunting in a group. For a pride.
Starting point is 00:11:38 So it's still only a one and three shot. That's right. Yeah. It's crazy. And that's with full attempted hunting. But I mean, just seeing it, like I've never seen that before. And it's obviously hard to watch. But you think about how many, I mean, you and I have gone down so many wormholes.
Starting point is 00:11:51 for shows and pitches about mass animal attacks. Oh, yeah. And, you know, the number of man-eating, eating leopards in India that killed over 100 people and hundreds of people that are killed by lions. And it's like, that's a thing that can happen to a human. Oh, yeah. And it's happened thousands and thousands of times.
Starting point is 00:12:07 Absolutely. Well, I mean, it's just, I can't imagine anything worse. It's, yeah, the leopard of Rudapria, the man-eater of whatever it is. The Savo lions and all that stuff. But it is why, we evolved to, you know, live in societies and everything, because that's how we protect ourselves is like by being in groups and being able to communicate with another because you don't have
Starting point is 00:12:31 any chance against basically any predator animal unless... Not whatsoever. Yeah, unless you're in a group or you have a weapon that has been created through. But so it's just interesting to, you know, think about the fact like that's right there is why we evolved to be smart and live in society. of our energy has gone to our brains because we have no physical deterrence whatsoever. Yeah, we're such pusses. No, we are.
Starting point is 00:12:56 We're just, dude, and these, like, I get so tired of looking at this. I don't know why, because I've clicked on it too many times where I see, like, the most mid-fucking average bro being like, oh, I could beat a chimpanzee in a fight. You know, like, I could take a, I could take a black bear. It's like, you are so dumb. Yeah. You are so disconnected from the reality. of like your own physical abilities
Starting point is 00:13:22 compared to an animal. Even if you did have the strength, right? Like they're not fighting fair. Like a tiger is going to go right for your soft, fleshy neck, and you're not, like you're going to be like trying to punch it in the face, which has no effect on it whatsoever. And or like a chimpanzee is just going to rip your arms off.
Starting point is 00:13:39 I mean, so dumb. Yeah. The strength has, it's just, it's so dumb. But I do, do you guys think that, all right, like, let's say a very, very skilled, like the top MMA fighter who's in the best shape or let's say like
Starting point is 00:13:55 one of the biggest freaking athletic like football players would have a chance against like that tiger that lion and that lion and that zoo not even for one second they'd be instantly decimated the exact same as me fighting your four year old
Starting point is 00:14:11 it would look exactly like me and your four year old in a fight till death it would look exactly like it did with that teenager terrible there there no like, oh, I'll get him. I'll get him in a headlock. I'll drop a punch. Right. The cat would look at him confused and be like, this is it. Yeah. You know, and then it would be one swat and you'd be done. By the way, I mean, we did this. We had a video that we put out on our Instagram. It was us debating John Jones, the UFC fighter versus kangaroo. That's right. Yeah. And we can't barred it back and forth. And then somehow John Jones got a hold of it.
Starting point is 00:14:42 Oh, it was just like, nah, dog. I'd kick that thing straight. I forgot about that. Great response by John. by the way. Man. Yeah. Now give that athlete a baseball bat. Or is odds any higher? No. It wouldn't even take any longer.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Except maybe the animal would like step back from one swing and then pounce and immediately. I mean, dude, I just watched this video. I don't want to pull it up or anything. But it was a, I was doing the YouTube wormhole and it was like road rage incidents. Yeah, yeah. Dude, like, polls in front of this guy and he's a big guy. gets out with a baseball bat, gets out of his truck.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Uh-huh. And then the guy who gets out of the car is much bigger and younger and way more muscular. Uh-huh. And every bit is pissed. Yeah. And he just goes up, does not care about the bat, goes up, instantly takes the bat. Yeah. Throws the bat.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Oh, really? Yeah. Did the guy even swing? He, like, cocked back and it was just too late. He was too, he was scared. Yeah. And it was, but he was the aggressor. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Yeah. And like, yeah, dude. If, if you're. going to get into a fight and you pull out a weapon like a baseball bet, you must be 100% committed to using it at all cost. I got into this huge fight at when I was in college, my idiot roommate. I love him. But over this girl, like, he's talking shit to like some freshman or something who's in a dorm. It's about 300 yards from where we live. Okay. Gives him our address. This dude comes rolling up with like every one of his friends from the dorm.
Starting point is 00:16:18 so like 20, 25 fucking dudes come up to us and there's probably like eight of us. Of course I think like I'm gonna like scare him off with the bat. Immediately first thing like somebody just knocks the bat out of my hand and I fall down and like
Starting point is 00:16:33 then somebody else on their side picks up the bat luckily didn't just go smashing everybody's skull in but like I wasn't committed to using that bat. It was just like a defense of threat. Yeah, you'll kill someone. Yeah, I wouldn't like and so I just I would have been better off not bringing the bat at all. Of course. That's insane.
Starting point is 00:16:51 It's also insane. Okay, while we're doing news and speaking of dumb people thinking they can fight animals, have you guys seen the video floating around of the guy who just marched out at the wolves in Yellowstone? Yes. This is insane, crazy, unbelievable. Yeah, I sent this to you guys and I was like thoughts. Oh, you sent this? I remember watching it and being dumbfounded by this. Well, turn the audio on too, because people are screaming at this person. Yeah, so this guy's in Yellowstone, and he sees a pack of wolves, which,
Starting point is 00:17:18 is pretty hard to do in Yellowstone for the most part. So he's very lucky in the first place. Yeah, yeah. And then just decides to march out towards the wolves for no known reason whatsoever. And the videos, it's a shocking video. Well, and the controversy here is like a lot of people think that he did this. He's doing this intentionally because he does have what appears to be bear spray with him. So he's antagonizing them.
Starting point is 00:17:43 He did sort of know what he was doing, by the way. It doesn't look like he's scared. looks like he was trying to fuck with them. So that wolf right there is coming at him defensively as the aggressor. Yeah. And now he starts charging towards... Which is the right thing to do. I mean, none of this is the right thing to do, to be clear.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Pause it for a second, though, Kyle? Sorry, I don't mean to over-talk to you, Patrick. No, yeah. Like, that lead wolf, that sentinel wolf, starts to charge at him like, this is prey. Yeah. You know, and then the guy, again, I'm not promoting this or condoning this, but he did the right thing. He doesn't turn and run or show at his back or even stand in place.
Starting point is 00:18:22 He starts to be an aggressor towards the wolf, which I always say if you act like prey, it's going to treat you like prey. That's not what prey does, right? And then the wolf is all of a sudden like, oh shit, what's going on here? Yeah. So press play, Kyle. And now, you know, he's walking towards the wolf with his bear spray or whatever behind his back and yelling at the wolf.
Starting point is 00:18:40 I mean, this is so insane what this guy's doing. But I mean, so realistically, I mean, it could be that these wolves kind of snuck up on him and he is doing what he has to do to get out of the situation. Jet black wolves. No. In what scenario did these wolves? He's definitely walked out of his car to hear. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:57 So you think he saw the wolves and went to go and counter them. Because everybody else, if you have the audio on, everybody is screaming like, get away. What are you doing? So there's dozens and dozens of people on the road watching this take place. And then he gives the bear spray a little toot. Yeah. And it kind of doesn't get it close to the wolves. And then they keep pursuing.
Starting point is 00:19:17 He goes down into a little ravine now. And they're all pursuing. Now there's like five or six wolves within 20 feet of him. Yeah, I mean, you have to try hard to get a fucking wolf to attack you. You really do. And he's doing his very best here. If he had turned and run, though, out of fear. He would have been fucked.
Starting point is 00:19:35 He would have been dead in moments. Man, why would he go over there? I don't know. I mean, it's just like. He made it. He did make it away unscathed. He was apprehended by Park Rangers and sighted. Wow.
Starting point is 00:19:47 man, he's lucky he ain't dead. So yeah, I think the fact that he was given a citation means it's pretty clear, like there was plenty of witnesses that said he went out. He pursued the wolves. I mean, it says park rangers later located and cited the man. They identified the identity of Vindjuville's not been publicly released. It remains unclear what he was spraying. But why?
Starting point is 00:20:10 There's no, nothing in this article explains why this happened. Yeah, there's no motivation. They didn't even release his identity, which is strange. because usually they name and shame these people. Yeah, true. Wow. What a weird thing. Such a fucked up,
Starting point is 00:20:24 fucked up incident. Not even a story. Just a weird thing. Do either of you, any, either of you have any curiosity as to why Kyle is watching HGTV in the background?
Starting point is 00:20:34 He's on no sleep. Give him a break. I think it was true. Yeah, that's crazy. Dude, I mean, you know,
Starting point is 00:20:44 and then unscathed and those wolves are pissed because they're still hungry. They thought we're getting a meal there. But it shows how hard, like, hard. Yeah, sorry, go ahead. I was going to say, they don't associate humans with food. I think they were just like, what in the fuck is going on?
Starting point is 00:20:57 And why is this thing kind of running around us? Like, what is happening here? It shows how hard it is to actually get attacked by wolves. I mean, what's the statistic? I'll look it up. I mean, there's something like eight recorded wolf deaths to humans in history in America or something. Really? Some sources say zero.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like, it's absolutely... That's really interesting because the disinformation out there, like, I've always thought that it was a pretty common thing. There's 26 documented worldwide wolf fatal attacks between 2002 and 2002 and 2020. That's worldwide, yeah. That's not a lot. No, not at all.
Starting point is 00:21:35 If you think of... 80% were rabid wolves. Yeah. And, I mean, there's maybe not a more vilified animal in the media aside from sharks. Yeah. Totally. I mean, essentially every kid's movie, which I've now seen all of them, half of them the worst bad guy is a wolf.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Totally. Yeah. That's crazy. It's a shame, too, because they're fucking awesome. Yeah, they're so cool. I mean, dude, it's six, a pack of just six black wolves. It's so cool to see. Seriously.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Did you see the wolf? I know we're doing a lot of news, but did you see the wolf using fishing tools? No. A couple weeks ago, this went totally viral. It was overblown, in my opinion, but it does comment on their intelligence. So people were showing, you know, there are people setting fish traps and crab traps. And there's this, here's the footage right here. There's this footage of this wolf swimming out, grabbing the buoy, and then pulling in the crab trap to get a meal out of it.
Starting point is 00:22:28 That's so wolfy. There's actually, so wolfy. So it's cool. So it's basically, they have these invasive green crabs in BC. Right? And so they've been putting up these crab traps with fish as bait to get these green. crabs out of there. Yeah, in the crab trap. Yeah. And so they noticed that a bunch of the traps were being damaged. So they were like, oh, it must be otters. So they, that's why they put these cameras
Starting point is 00:22:56 Oh, I didn't know that's why they did that. That's interesting. And they were like, are you kidding me? It's a fucking wolf swimming out into this body of water grabbing the fish and kind of damaging the traps in the process. But it's really, what a genius. It's a commentary on their intelligence and it also means, because those wolves cannot smell the fish under there. It's underwater. Very interesting. So they're watching or observing or something that there is fish in that trap and have learned this behavior or at least experimented enough to learn that they can get a meal
Starting point is 00:23:27 if they pull this thing out. That's so cool, man. Like, I didn't even think about that. Yeah, they're not going based off of like scent or anything. No, it's not possible. They stalked and waited and watched this go down. Or potentially, I guess. and this is just me kind of brainstorming it as we go.
Starting point is 00:23:44 The buoy smells a bit like fish from the guy's hands or something. Okay. And then they go and grab the buoy and they're like, this isn't food. Yeah. But then they pull it in. Yeah. It's very clever, whatever it is. Yeah, trial and error.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Some argue pulling in a line doesn't meet strict scientific criteria for tool use, blah, blah, blah. Who cares? What is wrong with people? It's so strict. It's just like, shut up. Like, just be stoked that the wolves are that clever. Pulling a rope is not using a tool. Yeah. But at least it is calling for further studies of their behavior.
Starting point is 00:24:15 And but I think wolves are now my new favorite animal after today. Good. Just based on those. It just took over from octopus. Dude, they're so fucking cool. And gray alien? Well, gray aliens. Those are number one for this guy. So we talked at the beginning.
Starting point is 00:24:32 By the way, we've got an animal mystery and a battle royale coming up. So that's called the mid-show tease, Kyle. Nice. Learn that. Kyle, write that down. I've written. We talked about fashion and if we're old men and if kids, Kyle's age, see us as middle-aged men. I'm 30.
Starting point is 00:24:51 I can't wait to hear this. What are you going to say here? Kids, Kyle. All right. So, today is December 29th, according to my watch. That's right. I just bought a new invisible watch. Oh, that's nice.
Starting point is 00:25:03 It was super expensive. Those are really expendi. What? What one, two more nights, New Year's Eve, most of our listeners are in the demo of people that are young and fun. Party and think we look like dads. Yep. What are you guys doing for New Year's Eve?
Starting point is 00:25:21 Well, I'll tell you what I just did over the last month with the holidays. I spent a lot of money on stuff. I'm sure you guys did too. I'm sure our listeners did too. But I've got a way to get you back some of your hard-earned cash. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and can't cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has saved users over 2.5 billion, which is crazy, including over 880 million
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Starting point is 00:26:25 Go to RocketMoney.com slash Wild Times today. That's rocketmoney.com slash wild times. RocketMoney.com slash wild times. Okay, I have a question. What's the single most important thing that you guys rely on when you're, you're, you're on these adventures in remote places. I mean, to me, it's pretty obvious. When you're traveling somewhere that has rugged terrain,
Starting point is 00:26:45 the vehicle that gets you there is the difference between having a great time or not so much. So when we're traveling, whether it's domestic or international, we always, always, always try to get Toyota trucks, right? Oh, 100%. I think about when we were in Sinki DeBahara
Starting point is 00:27:01 and Madagascar and the huge rains came. I was just thinking about that trip, yeah. Yeah, we had a caravan of about 10 trucks and literally, and we have video of this, all the Toyotas made it out and there were three or four other trucks that got stuck in the mud for multiple days. Patrick and I were, of course, in the Toyota's.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Nice. Comfortable the entire time. Toyota Trucks, let's go places. Discover your uncharted territory. Learn more at Toyota.com slash trucks slash adventure dash detours. Kyle, what are you doing for NIRS? I have no idea, probably nothing.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Wow. Well, he is 30, so he's old now. That's true. We're doing our annual Friendsgiving trip up in Northern California. Over New Year's. That sounds fun. We've done it the last two years, three years over New Year's. It's great.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Big rental house. Everybody gets together. It was more great before there were six kids in the house or eight kids in the house as it is now. That's six too many. Yeah. The last couple years, we've always had these grandiose plans, but all the wives and kids go to bed at 930. And then the dad slowly peel off until about 1.15.
Starting point is 00:28:06 but I've made it past midnight every year. But it's literally just sitting around drinking whiskey, maybe going outside for a cigar if it's not too cold for like 30 minutes. Yeah. That's it. And just dad's story ended up. Your friends giving, though, the ones when you weren't going for New Year's, you would go get mushrooms, right?
Starting point is 00:28:26 Still. Oh, so you still do it. Yeah, yeah. So it's actually kind of interesting. We, I don't want to get into a whole global warming thing here, But we used to do Friendsgiving over Thanksgiving. Yeah. Because 10 plus years ago before any of us had kids, that was when the rain would start to hit.
Starting point is 00:28:43 And it was still warm enough that the mushrooms would grow. And over the years, it started going from Friendsgiving to, all right, we got to do it between Thanksgiving and Christmas to we got to do it as close to Christmas as possible. And now, because of weather patterns, we're going over New Year's Eve into January. What is the weather need to be like to get mushroom hunting? You need rain. Yeah. And then you need warmth, but not warm to the point that mushrooms rot, but not so cold that it freezes. Because if the ground freezes, then you basically get ice in the ground and the mycelium doesn't fruit.
Starting point is 00:29:14 So like 50, 60? Yeah, exactly. Just basically not freezing. And from when we started going until now, and we've almost always had a really good mushroom hunt, you know, a couple years have been meh. But overall, we've been doing this for 10 plus years. We just pushed it back like a couple weeks every year. and now it's New Year's Eve into January, and that's when we get our best mushrooms.
Starting point is 00:29:35 You're going to have to come up with a new name other than Friendsgiving. Maybe this year you guys do that. Give me credit for it. Maybe. Or we just keep calling it, Friendsgiving, because it's easy. How about New Year's gaze? Yeah, that could be it.
Starting point is 00:29:46 Because we're gazing out looking for mushrooms. Exactly. That's what you were thinking, right? That's exactly what I was thinking. What are you going to do, Peter? Well, I mean, go to the club? Hopefully I'm going to be drinking. But, you know, I got the kids,
Starting point is 00:29:59 the tree's still going to be up. I'm just going to make it very vibey and holiday-e in my house, and I'm going to hope that lots of fireworks don't go off because I just spent $800 on an urgent care visit for my dog, and I don't want to spend anymore. We need baggy pants. We're so old. What do you got going on?
Starting point is 00:30:16 And then I want to pose a hypothetical to you guys. No idea. I mean, probably going to have a couple other couples over with kids. Yep. Fire up the hot tub. Same thing. Oh, that's nice. It'll still be up.
Starting point is 00:30:26 Hot tub in the evening. I'll drink the most of anyone. Of course, you're at home. All right. I want to pose a New Year's Eve hypothetical to you. Okay. That 15 years ago you would have been like, that sounds like the perfect night. All right.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Okay. It's December 31st. It's 4 p.m. You're living your current life. I mean, your wife, your kids, your current age, everything else. But you get a text and the text says, I got a table at the hottest club in L.A. Okay. But here's the kicker.
Starting point is 00:30:59 It's you. and six guys who were between the ages of 21 and 24. Yep. And for some reason, you're invited. Sure. I work with them. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:10 Yeah. Now, you have to go to the trendiest club in L.A. on New Year's Eve with a bunch of early 20-somethings. Sure. To blow out the night. Yeah. What is the likelihood that you're going? Well, I'd rather just say you have to go.
Starting point is 00:31:27 No, well, that's the likelihood's 0.0.0.0. Okay, so that's the point. And for you, Peter, you're not going, right? That sounds hellish. It does sound hellish, but I have been in this mode lately where I've been trying to spice up my life. So I think I would actually do it just to do something different. Wow. Well, that negates my next question, which was the evolution of this, which is how much money does it take for you to leave your family behind?
Starting point is 00:31:52 There's no fucking chance that you would go. Zero. So just be honest. So then you can answer. You wouldn't go. You wouldn't even ask your wife. Here's the real, the deal breaker. Is this all expenses paid?
Starting point is 00:32:07 Or am I paying out of pocket? No, so the table's taken care of. That's all comped. Yeah. But like all 21 to 24 year olds, you're all splitting everything from there on out. Yeah. Yeah, I'm out.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Multiple bottles. Yeah, but you're all going to get the $900 bottle of gray goose or whatever it costs now. If it was comped, I'm in, no comp. Let's make it comp. Okay, fine. It's comped. Yeah. I just want you.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Just stop because you're lying and it's making him angry, which is now making me angry. I'm going, baby. I am going. Here's the thing. You know what that night's like. You're there. It's all these young people talking about things that you hate. You're then in the loudest club.
Starting point is 00:32:42 You can't communicate. I'll have ear plugs in. Imagine how cool Peter is with ear plugs. They're all wearing baggy jeans. I'm going to buy invisible earplugs. So they're going to be clear. Patrick's literally texting your wife right now that you're going to this year. I don't have her number.
Starting point is 00:32:58 I have her dad's number I just called him hit her up on Instagram No but listen I'm I guarantee you somebody on Instagram is going to hit me up and offer me this
Starting point is 00:33:09 They're not And you're not gonna go I will go And somebody offer me this I will go What's your number for us You pose the question What's my number?
Starting point is 00:33:17 Yeah Man leave my family behind Go to an awful club For one night It's all trendy pussy It's one night Don't get me wrong But the night
Starting point is 00:33:25 Ends at like 6 a.m. That's true You know, it's New Year's Eve. I mean, I wouldn't go for a dollar under 10 grand. I swear to God. It sounds so awful. How many hours do you have to stay? Well, you're getting there at 10, which is already after bedtime.
Starting point is 00:33:42 And then you're leaving it at, you're leaving the club at two, but the night doesn't end. You know, the night doesn't end until 6, 7 a.m. So you got to go, you got to go hard 24-year-olds. Once the blow comes out. You got to go with the children wherever they're going and whatever they're doing. Yeah. trying to talk to 20-year-old girls screaming at them
Starting point is 00:34:00 because you can't hear anything. Nobody's talking to me. Your tinnitus is acting up the next day. My ear plugs in, baby. By the way, I would 100% be the guy in the VIP section wearing earplugs. Without question.
Starting point is 00:34:12 I would have your girls end up at the table because there's free booze. Of course. So what do you do? I'm like, huh? What? To take out the earplugs. The worst part of this...
Starting point is 00:34:20 20 grand. 20. He went to 20. I was a 10. The worst part of this whole experience, would be the volume level of the music at the club. Or the music itself, because it's trendy music of today. What is he doing?
Starting point is 00:34:33 He's calling Leot. Oh, my God. Calling your wife. Yeah, we have to hear how this goes down. She didn't lie. Ask her, I've been in a much more peaceful state. Is she not going to answer? How the fuck am I supposed to know?
Starting point is 00:34:47 She's fucking heartlessly screening. She probably doesn't have my number saved. She is fucking working. She's an adult. Is that her? Did she pick up? Hello? Hey.
Starting point is 00:34:57 Hey. Sorry, we're recording, but I have a question for you because Peter's blatantly lying on the podcast. Untrue. I am not. It's a 50-50 chance that he's lying. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. So Forrest posed the question that on New Year's Eve, Peter's at home with the family, gets a text from a group of friends, a hypothetical group of 21 to 24-year-old friends.
Starting point is 00:35:22 And they're going to the hottest nightclub in downtown L.A. and they have VIP bottle service and he's it's all comped baby and the table's comped but the booze is not and Peter
Starting point is 00:35:37 and the first question was how much would you have to be paid to go and he's drawn a hard line in the sand saying he would just go no matter what which is a blatant lie no I'd go
Starting point is 00:35:49 you'd go like today with the kids and everything I don't think so see that's what I said. Why would I think? I wouldn't take the
Starting point is 00:35:58 kids. He's going to abandon you and the children. Leoddardt's forest, obviously. He's going to abandon you on the children on New Year's Eve
Starting point is 00:36:05 to go clubbing with 20 year olds. Yeah, well, she doesn't want that. So she's coming at it from the perspective like, oh, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:36:13 you're not coming. If you're so tired, Peter, you can barely go to dinner. That's what I'm saying. But hasn't my energy levels been much higher lately?
Starting point is 00:36:26 Yes, because you're, drinking that mind thing or whatever. Magic mind plug. Okay, but you believe at 10 p.m., he's already had three, four glass of wine
Starting point is 00:36:39 that he would motivate to get an Uber to... No. Thank you. If there was money involved, yeah. Right. Even I could, but... That's what we're all saying. No, you're not allowed. He's saying he voluntarily
Starting point is 00:36:51 would say yes to life and just go and do this. I did say it would have to be comped entirely. Peter hates 20-year-old. Yeah. We all do. All right, thank you for confirming his lying. Thanks, babe. Love you.
Starting point is 00:37:06 Bye. There's no way, dude. You're so full of it. I like how she goes. She was being honest. She wasn't trying to be funny. She goes, he is so tired. He can't even go to dinner.
Starting point is 00:37:20 She didn't say that. She didn't say that. She really did. Kyle, would you go voluntarily? No, absolutely not. No. Yeah, and so if I have to go, it's 10 p.m. I got to get my ass up. I would actually have to send the text to the group saying, what is everyone wearing?
Starting point is 00:37:35 Of course. Because I have no idea what people wear to the clothes. It's not skinny jeans. And certainly not like his dorky boots. You got him in trouble. She just said love you and those are assholes. I'm sure she said the second part. It'd be, yeah, 20 grand.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Yeah, I'd do it for zero as long as everything's paid for. Okay. just to fucking prove you guys wrong. Send us a hottest club in L.A. Send us a non-A.I. rendered image of you at a VIP section of a nightclub in the next five years, and I'll give you two grand. Yeah, Sam. That's four grand.
Starting point is 00:38:10 I mean, this is now recorded. It is a verbal contract that you must do this, or I will sue you. Do we have a jingle, a generic jingle, Kyle? A generic jingle. Oh, yeah. Bound animal mystery. There you go.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Lovely. Well, wait, so we can't look. Do what's going on? Show, I'm going to start with a picture. So pull up that zoomed-in photo, Kyle, that you expertly prepared. Holy shit. What do we have here, guys? What in the world?
Starting point is 00:38:43 It looks like a toddler fell through a windshield. Yeah, so there's a windshield of a car and on the passenger side, there is a gaping hole. How big? The whole windshield side. Two and a half to three foot across. Yeah. It's a big old hole. Yep.
Starting point is 00:38:58 Okay. Now I'm going to read you a quote from the lovely young woman who was driving. Okay. I could see it in my passenger seat. I have guts all over me. There's glass everywhere. Okay. So that's her quote.
Starting point is 00:39:13 She was driving in North Carolina on Highway 74. Of course, of course. And something ended up on her passenger seat creating that large hole. Wow. And note, the hole is. not in the bottom of the windshield. It's the top left quadrant of the windshield is blown out. Right. So it's like
Starting point is 00:39:33 something in the air fell on it or something. I'm going to take the low hanging fruit here and say she was speeding down Highway 70, a notorious deer-filled area. The deer jumped into the air before, as it was about to be hit by the car, or maybe even rolled off the hood, came
Starting point is 00:39:49 through the upper part of the windshield and landed in the passenger seat with its head through the windshield. Yikes. Do you agree? Do you agree? Peter, you got something different. I mean, logically, it makes sense, but it's so high up on the windshield. It would have to jump really high. Or, you know, like hits the hood and the hood and kind of curls in.
Starting point is 00:40:08 That's what I'm thinking. There's no way because this is an animal mystery. And I'm going to say that some bird of prey dropped like a beaver on the window. Wow. I hope that's what happened. Is there a bird of prey in North America that could carry a beaver, you think? Well, maybe. Golden Eagle. What about the Terradactal?
Starting point is 00:40:31 A Golden Eagle. A Gold Eagle could carry a beaver. Okay. That's a beaver hole right there. It's a beaver-shaped hole. So I'm going to amend it. To gaping beaver hole. I'm going to give you... Jeez. I'm going to give you another hint. Which will give away what happened.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Still thinking about the last comment, I mean. But not what animal it is. Okay. Okay. Minutes before, as she was driving on the highway, she was a bit distracted as she looked up at a... low-flying bald eagle that is soaring overhead. But the mystery still is what's laying in her driver's seat. Right. It's not a bald eagle. It's either the eagle or the beaver.
Starting point is 00:41:10 No. It's true. All right. So I'll go first again because I went first last time. Is that okay? Petter? Yeah, of course. All right. So bald eagle are notorious fish eaters. And you're in the south here. We're in the Carolinas. So that bald eagle was carrying a nice two and a half foot long channel catfish that it then released, flew through the windshield, and ended up on the driver's seat. Could make a hole that big, you think? I have to be a pretty big kitty cat. But yeah, I'm going to say yes to the catfish.
Starting point is 00:41:40 I'm going to just go ahead. And off that, I'm going to say it's an actual kitty cat that was dropped by the evil. Uh-oh. It's a cat. No way. Damn! He pointed so smugly that it had to be. Dude, it was an actual cat.
Starting point is 00:41:54 What the fuck happened? I mean, imagine driving 65 miles an hour. That poor cat. And something, I mean, the noise it must have made. She must have been terrified. Good job by her not to just crash her car and roll it. See, that might be the most annoying sound. Is the kitty cat like screaming in pain?
Starting point is 00:42:13 I think it was long dead boy. Man. So what happened? An eagle dropped a cat over the highway, and she was the unlucky person to hit it going 65. Man, that's fucked up. So, like, are these birds of prey regularly just swooping up cats? Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:31 I showed the video of the hawk that was in my backyard eating a cat on the fence. Oh, yeah. Wow. And, I mean, it makes sense. There's so many, like, feral cats out there. They're essentially, there's as many wild cats as there are homed cats. I just was not going to guess that. Like, just the cat and the highway and just.
Starting point is 00:42:50 You were close. You said cat fish. I did, but that's because that's what bald eagles eat. But imagine. here Peter, you call me and give me the news that Forrest died
Starting point is 00:43:03 but the backstories the way he died was he was driving on the highway and a cat flew through his windshield ring ring Hey man, what's up, what's up? Dude, I don't know how else to say this
Starting point is 00:43:17 Forrest died Wait, are you serious or no? Nifty. Swear to God. Swear to God, Forrest is dead. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, dude.
Starting point is 00:43:26 I know, man. What happened? It was on one of his shoots? Shark. Was it a shark? No, no. I mean, from what I know, there's a picture. What happened?
Starting point is 00:43:37 He was driving down Highway 74. Oh, my God. And it was, you could call it that. What happened? What? Somehow, a 25-pound cat flew through his windshield. You're serious? No, I'm serious.
Starting point is 00:43:56 He's dead. He's dead. Are you serious? Yeah, he's dead. That's hilarious. I know. I can't wait to write the eulogy. That's the problem.
Starting point is 00:44:05 That is the problem. She was unharmed. Thank God. But if it's on the other side, she's probably, yeah. Yeah, cat death via bald eagle dropping is quite comical. The only funnier death would be if you were going out to get a slice of pizza in Manhattan and a gargoyle fell on me. That's the only funnier way that you could die.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Those big stone gargoyles. True story. My great grandfather lived in the UK and he died from a sheet of glass sliding off his atrium and decapitation. Holy shit. That sounds awful. Jesus. Just a random sheet of glass? Yeah. So he had like, you know, like one of those outdoor atrium things. They're like very common in the UK. Like it's like a green. It's not even a greenhouse, but like the glass. Right. Tea House kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Like a gazebo with like glass. With the glass roof. Yeah. It's fucking cold and miserable in England. And he walked outside. closed the door and a sheet of glass came loose slid down and took his head off. My grandfather's dad. That is fucking crazy. How crazy is that?
Starting point is 00:45:06 Yeah. It's wild. In high snow areas, people get icicles to the nagon. Yeah. That'll take you out. Yeah. We used to have the house I grew up in was two stories and we would have the entire side of the house
Starting point is 00:45:18 would be floor to roof. Icicles that are as thick around as this table. Yeah. Yeah. And when they would just break and fall, like, wow, that was like fucking 200 pounds. Dude, yeah. So I had to be real careful about not playing under it.
Starting point is 00:45:32 I like in the movie Christmas Vacation, the scene where, uh, where the giant, when he downs the tree and the giant fucking icicle goes through the neighbor's window. So it breaks the window and destroys the stereo and it's all wet, but they don't know what the fuck happened. It's two different scenes. Oh, it is? Yeah. One is he, he downs the tree and it goes through the window.
Starting point is 00:45:54 The others, he's hanging on the gutter. Oh, yeah. And it swings out and the icicle goes through that. That's right. There comes out, slides out the gutter and goes to the window. And she goes, then why is it all wet, Todd? I don't know, Margo. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:07 God, I love that movie. All right. I've got a segment I want to do. Go. Near's Eve is coming up. Sure is. And I want to talk about a little detour destination brought to you by Toyota trucks. I would love it.
Starting point is 00:46:19 Is this a New Year's Eve themed? It is. It's New Year's themed. It's something that I did for several New Year's Eve's when I was younger. Okay. All right. So here's what you do. You take your truck, pickup truck in this situation.
Starting point is 00:46:31 Okay. You throw a futon in the bed. Okay? In the bed of the truck. Bed of the truck. In the back seat. A bed in the bed in the bed. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 00:46:38 You throw a futon mattress in the bed of the pickup truck. In the back seat, you load it up with pillows, blankets, some delicious snacks, maybe charcuttery, you decide. This sounds pretty nice. That's a good way to start. And I'll give you the specifics of where to do this if you live in my town. But you could do this pretty much in any town, I'd say. You jump in the driver's seat.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Your sweetheart goes in the passenger seat. Sure. We're going to assume there's no kids involved in this because you want to be enjoyable. Or the other way around. Yeah, either way. It doesn't matter who drives in. In Santa Barbara, you drive up to the top of West Camino Cello. So you go up the 154 highway, then you turn off onto West Camino Cielo and you drive until you get to the water tower.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Okay, there you pull off on the little dirt strip. There will be absolutely nobody there at New Year's Eve at around, let's say, 10 p.m. Love that. Okay, you've pulled off, you've parked, you're putting the keys to the side, you go around to the back where the futon is. You take out all those cozy blankets and those pillows. What about the snacks? You bring the snacks with you.
Starting point is 00:47:38 You snuggle up right there and overlooking the vista of the beautiful full moon, the calm ocean, the mountains, and guess what happens at midnight? A kiss? Fireworks go off. You count down the New Year's Eve sitting in the bed of your Toyota truck, you wait till the fireworks go off you sit there you snuggle up it's nice and cozy because it's cold out
Starting point is 00:48:01 it sounds wonderful watch the fireworks from the bed of your truck it legit I'd like to do that with you guys snacks and the fireworks sounds great make a pillow for it yeah is it a date are we gonna do this no we're going to that club remember yeah yeah no but everybody else should
Starting point is 00:48:19 dude literally like I you've painted a warm like delicious vibe in my in my telling you you you, I feel good. Snuggle up in the bed of a truck somewhere, overlooking the fireworks to bring in New Year's Eve. You don't want all the noise and nonsense. Yeah, I like it.
Starting point is 00:48:33 It's a real treat. That's a good one. That's a great one. That's a good detour destination. Brought you by Toyota trucks. All right. It's time. We haven't done this in a long time.
Starting point is 00:48:42 People have really been bummed. People have been asking. Oh. Let's go. Oh, oh. I think I know what time it is. Oh, do you know what time it is? Time.
Starting point is 00:48:52 What? The battle. Oh, yeah. What do you got? Jingle. All right. So we just did the bit about you getting killed by the cat that an eagle dropped. We did.
Starting point is 00:49:05 We did. Yeah. All right. So I've got a battle rail here. That's a little weird. You're going to have to get creative. Okay. Let's try it.
Starting point is 00:49:12 Yep. Let's see what do you got. Put chat GPT down, you loser. Use your brain. I am using my brain. I'm taking a picture of cow because he looks silly. Okay. So you have to build.
Starting point is 00:49:22 It's a draft, a snake draft. Okay. The funniest possible headline of a way to get killed by an animal. So what you need a subject, a predicate. How do you build it? So based on our eagle drop cat, okay. You have to pick a situation. Yep.
Starting point is 00:49:40 Okay. And then involve two animals of different species. Yep. All right. To tell a story to create the funniest possible headline of how forest will get killed by an animal eventually someday. I like this. So a scenario and two. animals.
Starting point is 00:49:59 Yeah. Yes. Exactly. It's got to be one of those things where, like, no one will be sad that he died until, like, two months later once they've stopped laughing. Because it's so funny. Because it's so ludicrous. That makes perfect sense.
Starting point is 00:50:11 Yeah. Boy, this is really hard because it's incredibly difficult. Trying to make somebody's death comical is near impossible. Well, the eagle cat bird drop. Yeah. That's true. Eagle cat bird drop. I mean, that's what we're doing here.
Starting point is 00:50:25 Okay. I'll go first. Okay. That means I pick one. right or do I pick three? One, snake, one. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:31 Scenario and two animals. All right. So my first animal is a penguin. Okay. So we're not sure what we're going to do. You just do the draft and then craft your story at the end. Yeah. Yeah, apparently.
Starting point is 00:50:46 Penguin's a good start. Yeah, a lot of things can go down with a penguin. Yeah, penguins in the Galapagos all the way to the cold environment. Oh, man. Yeah, you've got. Okay. God. He's got no plan going into this.
Starting point is 00:50:57 No, but it gave me an idea. I'm like, shit, I need a penguin, man. I can't take it. Like, it gave me a story. Is there an equivalent bird? Well, okay. I know, I know what my scenario. I know what my scenario is going to be.
Starting point is 00:51:11 I know that much. It's going to be that you're filming, you're filming a special for shark week. Are there any sharks in Antarctica? Greenland sharks, maybe. No, no, okay. So, no, you're in Greenland. You're in Greenland.
Starting point is 00:51:33 You're filming a Greenland shark week special. Okay. And just to get some cool shots, you're, you know, you're out on the ice doing something. Okay. Yeah. All right. I will start by picking my two animals and then I'll give you the scenario. Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Okay. So as I'm at the end of the snake draft, one animal is a crocodile and the other is an elephant. Wow. Okay. Okay. So you've got crocodile and elephants. Oh, just wait. It's a good stage setting. So Forrest, I've got him filming a Greenland shark special in Greenland. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:09 He's out on the coast and the ice. And my first animal that gets involved is going to be, believe it or not, a Greenland shark. Okay. Okay. So who's next? You. Song down for two? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:26 This is really hard. So forest, my scenario, got a penguin already. Yeah, so my next animal, I'll go first, is a polar bear. So now we know that forest is, he's out on a glacier somewhere near Alaska with a polar, are they penguins and polar bears there? Nope.
Starting point is 00:52:49 Where are they? Antarctica? Yes. But there's no polar bears. There's no polar bears. Where are penguins and polar bears together? Literally nowhere. Nowhere in the world.
Starting point is 00:52:55 Okay, for some reason there is a polar bear that has traveled to where this penguin is. He's there to study it to find out how it got there. That's exactly what I was going to say. Forrest is out observing this polar bear. You know, so he's making a TV show. He's out there. He's doing his thing.
Starting point is 00:53:13 And wait, wait until the end. Right, everyone draft and then you'll do your whole story. Then we're going to set up. Oh, okay. So it's only one pick for you in this scenario. You got a polar bear. You're done. A polar bear a penguin?
Starting point is 00:53:23 Perfect. Forrest is studying the bear now. Okay. Okay. So I've got a. Greenland shark, I've got the scenario of him filming a shark week for it. And then, because he took Polar Bear, which was obviously my next situation, I am going to take a musk ox. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:45 Musky. So now, in the interest of the snake draft, I'll tell my story and then you'll tell him and Peter will tell. Is that correct? Yes. Okay. All right. So as we know, the headline involves a crocodile and an elephant, but it's not what you're thinking for. Boris Galante is traveling fast down the Zambezi River while there to do a wildlife expedition.
Starting point is 00:54:07 This is a long headline. No, I haven't done the headline. He's telling the story. Then I'll do the headline like we just discussed about four seconds ago. It's so many things to remember. This is insane. It's good. As Forrest is speedboating down the Zambezi River.
Starting point is 00:54:20 He's standing on the bow heroically only to get a hero shot. No other reason whatsoever. Sun is setting. Yeah, sun is setting. And contrary to what. you may think when you hear the animals, the speedboat actually hits a crocodile at full speed.
Starting point is 00:54:38 And as the boat hits the crocodile, forest is flung from the boat where he was standing to get this hero shot very heroically. Flexing. Flexing, of course, as I do during every hero shot. However, the speed, going down the river forest at full speed is launched off of the boat
Starting point is 00:54:55 with a forward trajectory-like motion. he lands not in the water, but on the side of the bank of the Zambezi River. And this is a real story that I learned actually happened. Not this part of the story, but a man died from this.
Starting point is 00:55:10 He is propelled at such a fast trajectory that his head actually lands and lodges within the anus of an elephant. The elephant takes off running, killing forest due to two things. One asphyxiation due to being unable to get his head out of the elephant's anus, and two being just bludgeoned to death flailing,
Starting point is 00:55:33 trying to get out of the elephant. Yeah, broke my neck, yeah. Poor elephant. And the elephant had to shit out my crushed skull later. Wow, that is funny. I'm not sure what the headline is, but yeah. Man asphyxiated by elephant anus during speedboat accident. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:48 Man infixated by elephant anus is all you need. That would be a good chuckle. Yeah. Yeah, there's no way you're not laughing at that. I think even your wife would enjoy. I'd rather die that way. It's going to be tough to be. All right.
Starting point is 00:55:58 So you're in Greenland filming your shark week of the Greenland shark, the oldest living shark, right? And, you know, it's a very deep water shark. Indeed. So you've got all sorts of tools and tricks. You're nervous because you're on the last day of filming. Sure. And you're going to go over budget. And you get a glimpse.
Starting point is 00:56:16 You're under the water, doing a dive, trying to figure out what to do. You're stressed out as you may be. And holy shit, a Greenland shark has come up within one of your tools and tricks. has worked and lured a Greenland shark phenomenal. Okay. Yeah. Forest is then so excited to get the shots that he, you know, swimming after it. Yeah, of course. He's swimming after it.
Starting point is 00:56:40 He gets discombobulated and because he was so excited he has swum too far and he's been separated from the boat. The boat can no longer find him. Yeah. That's terrible. So he makes his way to land. He's a good swimmer. He makes his way to land in his dry suit. He is now stranded. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:57:00 And although he's studied Arctic survival, he's already starting to get cold because he was in the water. It's chilly, yeah. When he comes upon a muscox. He's very hungry. Yeah. He's been surviving. He attempts to kill the musk ox with a spear that he's fashioned. And the musk ox rams him breaking his tibia.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Wow. Okay. So now he's in a bad way. Yeah, this isn't funny. Can he can't move? Wait, it's a story, sir. I know. He's in a very, very bad situation.
Starting point is 00:57:34 He's in the Arctic, even though it's the summer. It still gets cold at night. Hypothermia now is beginning to set in, and it's getting more and more serious. What happens to your mind when hypothermia sets in? Are you thinking straight? No, not at all. Mango's crazy. He's going crazy.
Starting point is 00:57:50 And it turns out that he's hungry. And he looks down and sees what he believes is a, lovely Bratworth. Although he's having trouble getting it. Yeah. He rips his own cock off for lack of a better term. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Eats it. Yeah. And bleeds to death. And when they find him, they're unclear if he died from bleeding out or hypothermia. Wow. Or choking on the penis. Yeah. And so what's the headline?
Starting point is 00:58:20 Explorer removes own penis thinking it's sausage, according to his last journal entry. mango's crazy, eats own penis. Wow, those are tough to beat, and there's no way I could come up with a full story like that. You've got a penguin. I'll do the headline. Wildlife biologist investigating rare polar bear trips over penguin. Penguin stuck in his butt, and he...
Starting point is 00:58:50 You just took my thing in reverse. Wait, Paul slides to his death down an ice tunnel, iceberg in water. penguin butt. So they find forests sort of at the bottom of this ice luge. Yeah, that's right. The ice luge.
Starting point is 00:59:05 And there's an emperor penguin's beak lodged in his anews. That's right. The penguin's okay. Okay. That's good. That's all that really matter. Penguins are fine.
Starting point is 00:59:14 They save it. Yep. Yeah. Polar bear, no research done. Yeah. Polar bear actually had nothing to do with the story whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:59:22 By the way, if you want to play along with this one, it's kind of a fun one. We have some creative, some creative brosener. Yeah. Post your story in the comments. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:29 Tell me how I died. Speaking of Battle Royale game, we're really at the very end of them now, guys. We might do another run. We might not undecided because there are a lot of work, but the game's great. It's lots of fun. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:42 Where can you buy it, Peter? Wildtimes. com. com forward slash BR to get the Battle Royal game. That'll take you right to the Amazon listing. And of course, wild times. Dot club forward slash info to get access to all the bonus pods.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Do we did like, do we do 12 podcasts this month? So many. We did so many. But there's lots. There's like 160 bonus pod library for going back years of bonus material. And then we do four every month. So there's six podcasts.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Go to wild times. Dot club forward slash info. Thank you. Thank you. Good night. Happy New Year. Yeah. Have fun.
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