Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Megalodon Was BIGGER Than We Actually Thought - The Wild Times Ep. 138
Episode Date: February 19, 2024Megalodon was over double the size that we originally thought, we try to figure out an animal mystery involving beluga whales, and we go through some of the world's worst CGI animals. Enjoy! Mint... Mobile: https://www.mintmobile.com/wildtimes Get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month. Rocket Money: https://rocketmoney.com/wildtimes Cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Prize Picks: https://prizepicks.com/wild First deposit match up to $100. Get 4 More Ad-Free Podcasts Every Month: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wildtimespod/subscribe https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod/ Visit https://thewildtimespodcast.com/ now! Join The Wild Times Discord Server: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9Db Get your Wild Times Podcast merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Enjoy, brosteners! TWT 138 - The Breakdown 01:30 - Megalodon Was Bigger Than We Thought 07:10 - New Studio 08:40 - First IVF Rhino 14:50 - Beluga Whale Mystery 25:38 - Animal Super Powers 39:37 - Best Rugby Team of Animals 50:23 - Worst CGI Animals Jingles made by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-tire/ #wildtimespod #podcast
Transcript
Discussion (0)
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All right, guys, we got a great show today.
First up, some animal news about Megalodon being bigger than we ever thought they could have been.
We've got an animal mystery about beluga whales.
And the worst CGI animals that exist.
Let's get started.
Let's go.
Oh, yeah.
Wild Times, man, listen to that, chingles.
This is, I'm not joking.
This is the most excited I've ever been to podcast.
It's going to be the best one we've ever done.
Day one, when we started the Wild Times four years ago now?
I guess.
Yeah.
I was like semi excited about it.
Yeah.
Today I'm a thousand excited about it.
Yeah, you're a giddy, son.
I'm so happy.
I love the studio.
Welcome to the Wild Times podcast.
I'm your host, the broologist, Forrest Galante.
Joining me as always, Papa P over there.
the producer and the brofessor himself.
Retep.
Hello, breasts.
I have them.
It's unfortunate on the camera.
And he sound like Jeff Garland.
Yeah, I know.
This is the Wild Times podcast,
the only wildlife podcast
with a heavy schmeckling of comedy.
And we're here to entertain and hang out.
And I'm just fired up.
I've had too much caffeine.
We're in the brand new studio
for the first day ever.
I'm so thrilled about it.
The light was gone off in the skull,
which is up.
All the back lights have gone off.
What did you do, Kyle?
Doesn't matter.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Is it on a clapper?
It's a clapper.
Oh, it really is.
I got it on a clapper.
It really is.
It was when we clapped.
Ah.
Look at that.
Things that were learning in the studio.
Yeah.
Well, let's get into it.
Pat, what do we got?
Look, anytime you see a news story with the word megaladone in it.
Yeah.
You just, you get excited.
Absolutely.
So I'm kind of hyped for this.
Because what do you picture when you picture a megalodon, Peter?
Just a giant killer.
Shark.
It looks like a, like what, like a giant white shark, right?
Yeah, a gargantuan great white shark, yeah.
Right.
Well, a new study, scientists have reanalyzed the spine of fossilized megalodons.
Okay.
And they're saying, so here's the title of the story.
The megalodon didn't look like a 50 foot great white shark after all.
Ooh, controversial.
Yeah.
Because every picture, every image, every movie.
The movies.
A 50 foot great white shark.
Yeah, exactly, right?
Very controversial.
This is what we're used to seeing.
Yep.
But contrary to popular belief, it's much more closely related to the short fin maco, not the great white.
That's a cop out.
What?
It's definitely not interested in this.
It's not controversial.
Look at a short fin maco.
That just looks like a slightly smaller great white.
It kind of does.
So now you're like, oh, it doesn't look like a great white.
It looks like the smaller great white.
But isn't the maco like a little more slender?
It is, and it's faster and it's more built.
But that's like being like, oh, that Ferrari doesn't look like a Ferrari.
It looks like a Ferrari.
Right.
No, see, it looks like a small Ferrari.
As the layman, I've just looked at both of these sharks and I can't tell the difference.
Okay, but no.
But, okay, look at that one there.
Yeah.
The Great White's got a little more aerodynamic.
The Mako is more aerodynamic, right?
It is.
Aquatic.
They're in water.
But yes, it is.
Sure. I would prefer if they flew.
It is.
I mean, it is.
A Mako and, look, there's a really good comparison picture.
The Maco and the Great White are, they're both in that, um,
not salmon shark,
mackerel shark family, right?
So they all live in the same family.
So they're going to be close-looking and closely related.
But 90% of people, when they spot a big maco from the boat,
go, oh, look, a great white shark.
That's where, like, almost all your great-white shark stories come from.
Yeah.
And vice versa, a lot of people see a small white shark and be like, that's a mako.
So, I mean, a lot of people can't even tell them apart when they're spotting them.
I mean, most people are idiots, though, like me.
I definitely wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
So Peter would be like, cool, dolphin.
With teeth
Should I swim up to it and play
Do dolphin have teeth?
Negative
Well they do but not like
Kind of cony
Yeah little conical teeth on the beak
So they examined the way they
So there's an exciting piece of news for us
If you didn't like the first part
Let me give you the second part
So
Previous estimates of the Meg
Contrary to the Statham films
It was 170B
Yeah
And lived in a volcano under the ocean
But previous
Estimates were about like 36, 37 feet. Okay. For Meg. Yeah. Big shark, yeah? Very big.
Large. The new findings propose the Megalodon was 50 feet long, possibly up to 66 feet long.
Oh, wow. Yeah, that's a huge difference. So like almost double the size. That's a huge difference. That's six basketball hoop lengths tall.
The difference, let me show you guys. More than that. Kyle, I'm going to send you something to pull up here, okay?
Because the thing that I think people always forget is that the length changes so much to the overall size.
And I'm sending saying to Kyle right now.
But when you go, oh, that was an 8-foot fish or a 9-foot fish or a 12-foot megalodon or a 14-foot megalodon,
you're talking about an exponential growth difference because of the girth.
When you showed the 12-foot sturgeon side-by-side with the 9-foot sturgeon?
That's what I was just sending to Kyle.
The 12-foot sturgeon is like three times the size.
I just sent those photos to Powell because I was like, I'm going to show you the difference between a nine foot and a 12 foot.
And in your head, you're like, oh, that's only this much bigger.
Right.
Because in your head you go, it's literally this much bigger.
That's not, that's not that different.
But look at it here.
I mean, that's a, oh, yeah.
That's, yeah, that's an 11 and a 9, basically.
But Kyle, I don't know if you have the other picture.
It's just the weight difference.
That 11 foot fish is like 450 pounds and the 9 foot fish is like 150 pounds.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's wild.
So picture.
Yeah, three times the weight.
Yeah.
With this much out of length.
With only 25% more length.
Right.
The picture, Pat, just same body type, everything.
He's just now like 10 feet tall.
He'd just be like a straight beam pole.
Let me tell you.
It doesn't happen in nature.
I'm 5.10.
I'm 5.10.
If I was 6.4, how would you think we'd still be friends?
No.
Of course not.
You wouldn't hang out with us plebs.
I don't think so either.
I'm like, what if I was a tall?
ball guy. You just be like, I'm too
cool to hang out with those guys. I'd probably be a
jerk. I'm praying that my
son continues growing at the
rate he currently is, so that
he's in the hundred and 70th percent power.
If he continues growing at the rate, he is
he won't fit inside buildings. It's going to be as big
as that sturgeon. But
just so he can play basketball,
he won't even have to learn. Like, if you're
that tall, you just stand under
the hoop and keep putting it into the basket. No, there
was a kid I went to high school with
who was six foot nine.
Oh my goodness
And he wasn't even good enough
to make the basketball
He was just so horribly uncoordinated
He's all elbows and knees
He's just like
Yeah, he's like
Yeah
Shout out to Johnny for the wall art by the way
Oh yeah
We got a hammerhead
Isn't that nice?
Amazing fucking shark picks back there
Yeah
And we got the alien picks
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From Papa P's very old
For my collection
Tell that story
I remember when you bought these
Oh he was so excited
Oh dude
So my buddy was over
he starts telling me about this
Swedish digital artist
who makes these cool images
and so I looked online
and like you know we were probably like smoking
weed and like drinking and you were
a bachelor at this point
that's important to note yeah
well he had a girlfriend he was just constantly
cheating on her never once
not true um so I ordered
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like spent a bunch of money getting them framed
and then I put him up I was like these look terrible
these make an other ear
And now we got him here.
Yeah.
I think they look pretty cool in the studio.
We got the blob fish up there, which is real.
And dude, the horns right there over Pat's head, make him look, you know, like, Kyle, does Pat look like a Viking on the camera angle?
Yes.
That's great.
Kyle's got a mic now.
He's got his own booth.
We'll show it at some point.
Yeah, it's nice.
Setting it up was fun.
Kyle and Peter then came back and finished it up.
Kyle slept in the studio last night.
We did.
We went and picked up a futon.
We got a, got it.
off a fucking offer-up
or some shit.
What's the point of the Futon
that's in the Kyle room?
Is it just his sleeping spot?
Well, he had to come and spend the night here
because he lives kind of far.
And it's just a perfect little thing
because we have a couch in the green room
and then Kyle has a place to beat off
when he spends the night.
Yeah, that's not it.
You know he was trolling Tinder last night.
Oh, God.
Zero quote.
Come to my studio.
New zip code.
Come to my studio.
Yeah.
He's telling, he's telling gals he owns the building
and he just chooses to sleep here.
This tiny one with the fucking futon.
What else we got, Kyle?
What else has been in the news here that we're excited about?
Oh, yeah.
We got some rhino news.
Oh, shit.
What's going on with the rhino?
Yeah, the world's first IVF in vitro fertilization rhino pregnancy that could save the
Northern White rhinos.
So I don't know if anybody remembers this or not.
There was six, I think, Northern White rhinos.
And then there was three and now there's two females.
I definitely remember hearing the number, the number start dwinds.
over like the past decade.
Terrible.
And so it was all the way down to two females.
So recently scientists achieved the world's first IVF rhino pregnancy.
Now, it's funny because we think everybody, even when I post stuff about like Raffitis
or any of these species where there's only females left or, you know, they're just dwindling
and they kind of get them to reproduce.
I don't think people understand how complicated reproductive sciences and how little we understand
about it outside of human beings.
We've studied it to death with human beings because everybody wants to have a kid.
And so, you know, there's all this technology.
and you can do IVF and your wife or your girlfriend, whatever.
Yeah.
We can't do that in almost any other animal.
We've never been able to.
Outside of bovids, we're really good at doing it with cows because we've always needed meat.
Sure.
But nobody in history has ever needed rhinos, right?
So they haven't done rhino reproductive science.
Anyway, so I say all that to set up the fact that for the first time in history, after 13 failed attempts, they succeeded in rhino IVF.
So they're transferred a lab-created rhino embryo into a...
a surrogate southern white rhino mother,
which will ultimately
birth a northern white rhino
to help save the species, because currently
there's only two northern white rhinos.
So you don't want to be experimenting on the two
remaining. I was just going to say, okay, so that's why they did
that. Exactly. So yeah, 13
attempts using eggs from female
southern white rhino and sperm from a male
in Australia. They've managed
to get the surrogate, or in Austria,
sorry, saraget from Austria. I know, weird,
but they're bringing different. But it's still
100% of the DNA
is Southern White Rhino.
The embryo was already fully intact.
She's just carrying it.
Correct.
Southern, yeah.
Got it.
That's right.
That's amazing.
And yeah, so this is part of the Bio Rescue Project,
which is, you know, it's a breakthrough marker for saving the critically endangered northern
white rhinos.
So, you know, the next step is to reprete the process using the 30-stored northern white
rhino embryos because they've been storing these embryos over time as the animals
have been killed, blah, blah, blah.
So now they're going to try and repeat the process and implant them into the womb of the southern white rhino as a surrogate.
And then, in theory, saved the species.
It's kind of interesting, as you were talking about just procreation in animals.
It's literally like the one thing and the easiest thing that every animal is driven to do.
Yet, like, it's impossible to recreate it and all these, and like just animals other than ourselves.
It's so complicated and complex.
it's just P and V.
I mean, that's...
Except cats.
Female cats aren't like out...
Now, they go into heat.
Yeah.
But they don't want it.
All cat sex is rape.
Right.
Well, dog sex, too.
I mean, the penis...
And by the way, I have a small dog.
With a huge penis.
The penis doesn't come out very often, right?
He has no balls.
He's not...
He's 14.
That's why.
But I caught him the other day.
He was licking his junk over in the corner.
And he gave himself a bone.
I'm telling you, his boner was a boneer was a boneer was a little.
like 10 inches long, but like as skinny as Pat's wean, like tiny.
The number two pencil.
But, but so I just learned recently that what happens when the dog's mate, that giant,
it's so long because it goes in so far and then it just makes a ball on the end of the
penis so that it gets stuck inside and the woman can't pull, pull off.
The woman.
It's fascinating.
The bitch.
That bitch can't pull out.
Hey, she can't even offensive.
Well, so I saw a little mystery.
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I grew up in upstate New York.
There was a place in Niagara Falls called Marine Land.
Okay.
And it was essentially like a, you know, like a sea world kind of thing.
Sure.
So they had a lot of beluga whales, little theme park with roller, you know, roller coasters,
and stuff like that.
Ownership recently, I think, is changing.
Okay.
But my buddy goes, hey, do you remember Marine Land?
And I'm like, I go, why?
Yeah, why?
And he's like, well, I was just the jingle stuck in my head.
Okay.
I was like, okay.
But so in the meantime, before he responded, I googled Marine Land to see, like, is something
going on with it?
Yeah.
And there's an animal mystery happening there.
Uh-oh.
Oh, wow.
Oh, not a good one.
Oh.
So 18 of the beluga whales in like a three-week period have died.
Wow.
That's awful.
As well as the orca also died.
Shouldn't be there in the first place.
No.
But they're like they have no, you know, they're trying to save them.
They don't know what's going on.
Interesting.
But 18 beluga whales have died since December.
So, okay, so here's my thoughts on that.
Obviously, science can't explain it, right?
because they don't know what's going on?
They don't know yet.
The light went out again.
Is that actually on a clapper?
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So here's my thought on that.
The orca throws me for a spin.
Obviously, they kind of explain it for some reason, right?
Because they've checked water parameters.
It's obviously not the conditions.
It's not the husbandry because they've had those animals there for a long time.
It's probably not a disease because they'd be able to identify it.
You know what I mean?
So something else is going to.
going on. And here's the thing that most people don't take into consideration. The emotional
intelligence of marine mammals like this is unbelievable. So what probably happened is, and I haven't
read the stories or anything yet, but what probably happened is the first one died. And
who knows what from? It could have had an injury. It could have had a whatever. And that triggered
like an emotional response from the mother, the sister, the aunt, the brother, whatever. And that
one died from literal heartbreak, which is a thing that happens to elephants. They will die from
heartbreak. And then, you know, now that now the pod has lost two family members and it's like a
chain reaction. And, and, you know, there's no genetic influx, right? So if you take the emotional
side out of it, if these animals were in the wild, sure, one dies, whatever, but then there's other
animals in the area. And it's, it's, imagine like, you live in your house with your family and you're
both your kids die, but you're never allowed out. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you'd probably kill
yourself. You're like, I'm stuck in the room. My kids died in. Like, I can't, I can't go outside. I can't
talk to anybody. I can't see a therapist. I can't see a friend. I can't go and find another
wife or a mate to make more kids. Like, I'm just stuck here where my kids died. Yeah. Like,
you drive yourself insane. Oh, my God. I know that's grim. I know it's grim. But like,
that is the way, like, these animals are that emotionally intelligent. Like, they have that much
connection and feeling towards each other that I strongly believe it could be like a case of emotional
chain reaction. Yeah. Well, that's a-
Well, the orca, I don't understand because I don't, maybe the orca felt maybe the orca was communicating with them through the tanks or something.
Could be.
Could be.
Especially if it's not a virus or a disease or something.
Well, I think they'd identify it if it was.
Yeah.
But I haven't read this yet.
Tissue samples.
Yeah, no, it's been going on since the beginning of December.
It started, you know, five and then it was up to 10 and 11.
And then 18 was the most recent report that I saw out of the 51s.
Yeah.
So literally just in the course of a few months.
Yeah.
I mean,
they don't know why.
You know the donkey at my house,
donkey?
Yeah.
Our little mini donkey.
He was dying when we rescued him of a broken heart.
So I know it sounds preposterous.
No,
I believe it.
So we brought in Felice,
our little mini horse,
like six months prior.
And we,
you know,
he was a rescue as well.
And we felt like he was pretty lonely.
And then I was talking,
I was trying to find him a companion.
Because if we felt like he was lonely,
and I was talking to the miniature donkey farm up in San Diego.
and the woman goes,
well,
like little asshole donkey.
And his mate, him and his mate were together for, you know, I don't know, five years or whatever.
And his mate recently passed away from colic.
And donkey is literally withering away.
Like he's skin and bones.
Not eating.
Not eating.
Won't be with the rest of the other animals.
Like, you just won't do anything.
Like we think he's probably going to die.
Yeah.
If you want to come and grab him, you know, free of charge and see if he gets along with your
mini horse, at least for the end of his life, no problem.
And, you know, I drove up there.
I threw donkey in the little truce.
trailer, I brought him down. I let him out with Felice and literally like, Felice like looked at him,
went back to eating grass like, fuck this. I don't care about this. And donkey like charged over and
sort of sniffed him and just started eating grass next to him. And that was it. They've never
been more than 10 feet apart. Maybe needed a change of scenery. Maybe. But it goes back to the whole like
stuck in the house thing. Yeah. Yeah. Like you said, I mean the, the grim image you painted of like your
family dies in the house and then you don't get to leave the house. Yeah. Yeah. Like I would just have to move to
If I wanted to continue on, I would have to, like, go live on a houseboat in Key West.
You just change everything.
Start over.
It's the only way.
Start over, yeah.
Did you say that the mate of donkeys died from colic?
I believe so.
I mean, this was like 10 years ago.
Isn't like the colic that humans get where it's just like...
Yeah, so colic is, I mean, look this up, Kyle.
But colic is like when your stomach kind of process and you get really bloated and stuff.
Oh, I didn't even know that.
But collic, yeah.
Collic is fatal in horses, if not.
treated properly.
Wow.
That's where it really comes from.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I know babies get it.
I don't know much about my kids.
I love that.
You have two kids and you know more about horse colic than kid collard.
My kids have never had it.
I know.
Yeah.
Anyway, yeah, but that is an animal mystery.
I don't know what the upshot of that is.
But a good insight there, man.
I hope it's not that because that is so sad.
I mean, I went to when you see a beluga in a tank.
Yeah.
They are fucking humongous.
And they're big jellyheads.
You notice the like jellyhead.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
You're from Illinois.
You've been to Shed Aquarium?
Yeah, yeah.
My favorite aquarium in the world.
I don't think there's a better aquarium than the Shed Aquarium.
But they have a pretty outstanding beluga exhibit.
And they have a big male in there with the big fat dome head.
And I, in my head, the beluga head was like this hard basketball, like the rest of the animal.
It's like jelly.
They swim and they're like, bo bo bo bobobobo.
Yeah.
Interesting.
They're super.
Yeah.
thing? See how like floppy the head is? Yeah, yeah. I would have imagined it's like a sperm whale head
where it can ramshed. No, it's like goopy and weird. It has like wrinkles. It like moves in the
water. Look, see, look at how that one's head is like in the, as it swims. It's like changing
shape. Yeah, you're right. It's wild. That's a sexy animal there. They are so cool. What are the
bulgas closely, most closely related to? Do we know? I think it's narwhal. Could you look that up,
Kyle? I can't, I can't believe narwhals are real. I thought they were like unicorn.
It's literally like something from elf that they made up. It is. The closest relative is the narwhal. Yeah.
Yeah, they live in the same place. I guess that makes sense.
And you guys know about the spy whale, right? I think we've talked about that before.
Vladimir? Vladimir. No, Vladimir.
Oh, yeah.
Voldemir. That's right. Voldemir the spy whale.
Yeah, he's a beluga.
Amazing. Yeah, he's a beluga. Well, I'll just go into it really quickly.
But Voldemir the spy whale turned up in, I want to say, Norway, wearing, like, Russian spy harness and some gear.
And it's just, like, ridiculously friendly.
Like, he hangs out around, like, the docks, and he's, like, waiting for people.
to pet him and feed him. And allegedly he was a Russian spy whale that like escaped or got lost and then
wandered over to Norway. And they're like, what's this fucking guy doing here? And, uh, and yeah, so they
pulled the, they pulled his spy gear off him. And now he just hangs around people all day.
Plays rugby. See if you can find him playing, playing with the rugby ball, Kyle. It's one of my
favorite videos. They pulled his spy gear off. Yeah. And he's just, he's just a legit spy whale.
Um, and, uh, they just found him like in a fjord and they're like, all right, this is now our
buddy. And he just looks for people and hangs out with them. Yeah.
That's incredible.
There's, yeah, throw the rugby ball and he brings it back.
I mean, who, who trained this?
Like, you know, when you're like, hey, we need, we need like a whale spy.
Yeah.
Like, that would be an amazing documentary.
If they had filmed the entire process of training, Waldemir.
Right.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah.
Dude, I'm always amazed.
Like, the CIA will release documents about shit they did 30, 40 years ago.
And one of them they released was about they had a whole team of people who could, um,
like astral project.
This went out for like three decades.
And I was like, how do you find like the guy who leads this team of people who can
supposedly like go to Mars and see shit and go back and forth in time?
Well, the part that I think's funny is you think of the military, whether it's Russian,
American, whatever.
And you think of these like hard guys, fucking buzz cuts like no bullshit, you know?
Think of the guy who's the whale trainer at the military.
You don't have a fucking hard job.
You show up when you like, you fiddle with.
the whale all day.
Yeah.
Astral projectionist.
Dude, if the CIA asked me right now, I'd be like, yeah, I'm a world-class astral
projection.
What's my job?
What's my job description?
Oh, just show up and see stuff.
I'm like, great.
Put me on a couple hundred grand a year's salary.
I'll close my eyes and tell you what Mars looks like.
You know what I mean?
It's like bullshit.
It's crazy.
It's actually pretty interesting.
They had tests and stuff that these guys did that.
They actually got right, though.
You know, like that's like the whole like men who stare at goats thing, right?
That movie.
Yeah, I love that movie.
Great movie.
What went on in there?
I didn't see it.
I think it was that.
It was like there, it was like CIA.
Oh, okay.
A group of weirdo.
Like, I haven't seen it a long time.
But yeah.
Oh, you should watch it.
It's great.
It's like this group of weirdo, like psychics and I think, were they astral.
I don't know what they were doing, but they were trying to use like telepathy.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
I think they were psychics, basically.
I think they're able to see things in other places.
Oh, they were a seer.
A seer.
Like when I look at you through the glass right here.
Yes, you're looking at something else.
Is that astral projection?
That's it. Yeah, you got it.
But apparently there is this whale that, or not whale, excuse me, this dolphin that they used in the Iraq war to perform mine clearing.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. What is mind clearing? What is mind clearing?
Oh, mine clearing. Yeah, like underwater mine. Oh, okay.
And I believe, I think this was just discontinued. You might find some news on it.
But I believe until very recently, any time one of the presidents would go on a boat, they'd have the trained whales go out ahead, trained dolphins, sorry, go out ahead and check for mines and check for mines and check.
for subs and all of that because the dolphins are way more capable than sonar.
Yeah.
Dude, I don't know if we, have we talked about the dogs they have at the airport now that
make it just so much better to get through the line of the airport?
It's unbelievably great.
I haven't, I haven't experienced this.
You haven't yet?
No.
Oh, I've had it like five or six times.
So you'll go and, you know, you'll see a dog once in a moment.
You'll be like, oh, that's cool.
But now if you see a dog and it's like in a big square where the line is, the dog just walks
around and sniffs for bombs.
You don't have to take her shoes off.
Really?
You go right through security.
It makes the getting through security so fast, dude.
Oh, that's crazy.
So they just have like two canine officers, or one even sometimes, just with a dog.
Yeah.
And you go two abreast and you just walk through.
The dog is just sniffing.
Oh, that's great.
Sniffing for explosives.
No shoes off, nothing.
Dude, how crazy is it?
No laptops out. Why did this take 15 years?
I was just going to say, like, this had to have been available for 30, 40 years.
Well, but all the TSA, like bomb stuff,
happened since 9-11, really, right?
Yeah.
So, like, why did this take?
Well, how many years ago is that now?
2017 years ago?
I don't know.
A long time.
Yeah.
Why is this taken so long?
We've always had dog technology.
Dude.
And the fact that we're so confident in the ability of these dogs to sniff bombs is pretty,
well, by the way, these dogs are noty-five percent.
There's no way these dogs are deputized to do this until they've probably gotten 400 out of 400
right.
Like the actual projectors.
But dude, it's insane.
Like working with a train sniffing dog,
the power is un-fucking believable.
You worked with them in the Everglades tracking stuff, right?
Yeah, man.
Like, you know, the handler, you know, we placed the Tegu, right?
And this dog was alerting for Tegu that day.
And you just, you know, the handler, like, gave him the go sign.
The Tegu's probably 50 yards away underneath some.
brush in a bag.
Wow.
And you just,
you just see the moment he catches it.
Yeah.
And he caught it from like 40 yards away and just straight to it, sits down,
gets his ball.
If I asked you just instantly, a small tagu, by the way.
And if I asked you to smell a tegou, you would not, you'd say there's nothing.
Reptiles don't smell like anything, right?
Reptile shit does, whatever.
But if you smell a snake, if you smell a lizard, you're like, it doesn't smell.
There's no smell.
Crazy.
Yeah.
And the dog can tell exactly what it is.
And in a place like the Everglides, differentiate that from the,
thousand other types of reptiles and lizards and snakes that are within a quarter mile of it.
Absolutely.
That is even more fascinating, dude, because, like, just the ability for their noses to detect the differences.
Yeah.
Like, they could tell the difference between, like, your dog can tell the difference between you and me when I'm, like, down the block.
Yeah.
You know, it's wild.
Dude, I was just in, I was telling forest was just up in the mountains of New Mexico.
Mm-hmm.
And we were on this massive ranch that had a ton of elk.
Uh-huh.
And, uh, saw this big buck.
huge fucking rack on him
you know beastly elk
yeah and he's kind of off in the distance
and we're just looking at him with binoculars
doesn't know we're there
and uh I'm with a guy who leads
um you know elk hunters out like guides them
and you kind of it's pretty windy
whatever and we just like he feels the
the guy goes up wind just shifted
he's gonna get us now and I didn't feel
you know I just knew it was windy I didn't feel the wind shift
right and then like five seconds later the elk
that's so wild looks right over
at us.
Man.
Like,
holy shit.
Oh,
yeah.
God,
humans are so tuned in, man.
Actually,
humans,
we're like jacks
of all trades.
We can do a little bit
of all of that.
No, all of our skills here.
Yeah,
we're used,
dude,
physically,
that's why,
like,
I love professional rugby.
You guys know that.
Like,
professional sports and stuff.
I have no idea.
But it's clownish.
Like,
if you,
it is clownish how
useless of,
like,
physical creatures we
we are useless.
Like, we can name any,
like, a fucking
slug is more
impressive than us physically. Like every creature in the animal kingdom per, you know, for its size and
scale is like physically way more capable. I got a question for you. I'm very skeptical when
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that was really good and that was profesh yeah hey guys if you like the show i got good news for you
you can get a whole lot more we do four bonus podcasts every month that's one a week that's 48 a
year that's right go to wild times dot club slash info uh you can subscribe on patreon you can subscribe
on spotify do it on spotify if that's where you listen why would you do that what's the
benefit. You could also listen to all of the podcasts ad free. Ad free. Huge. You know, that's how we got
this cool studio. We love you guys. Thank you. We love you. Just do it. Let's say there was a gorilla.
You just read it. You just got in my brain and you took my job. You just astrally projected into him.
That is so weird. You just astrally penetrated. Let's say that you put this, this gorilla on just
like, clean protein diet. Yeah. And you you set it off to.
would just work out constantly.
Manscaped him a little.
Manscaped.
Yeah, shaved his nuts with the manscape.
Now,
theoretically, how strong could this gorilla get if you,
if it,
because it's already like 500 times the strength of a human.
If it actually was lifting directed ways.
You're saying if you gave a gorilla a bunch of creatine
and a training program,
what would you get to?
I mean, I don't really know the answer to that.
What do you think?
I mean, you know, just like any...
Can it get stronger than it already is?
Oh, yeah, of course.
I mean, anything that building muscles just breaking tissue and rebuilding it, right?
That's all it is.
Sure.
Breaking tissue fibers and rebuilding it bigger and stronger.
I mean, of course, a gorilla would do that.
The thing is, they're doing it naturally.
Yeah.
So we don't do it naturally.
The whole reason humans are all potato shape now is because we do this all day long.
Right.
Right.
We don't do what we used to do.
Not even that long ago, 500 years ago, we were running and chopping wood and fighting and
doing things that made us physically dominant species.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're just fucking all
human vegetables now in the Western world.
See, I thought where you were going to go with it was
if whoever trained the spy whale
trained a gorilla to play rugby.
Oof.
Now that I love.
How many men are on the pitch at once when you play rugby?
15 per side.
15 per side.
Okay, so take the best rugby team.
So South Africa won the cup, right?
They're also the best, yeah.
Okay.
So the team that just won,
the South Africa team, 15 guys.
Yeah.
Now the guerrillas have been completely trained to play.
To play the game.
Yeah.
How many guerrillas would it take to beat the 15-man South Africa team?
Oh, geez.
I just don't see like four.
Four?
I would say one.
I was like, is he going to say one or like, yeah, three or four?
No, because, I mean, you still got to pass the ball or whatever.
15, I think 15.
I mean, you got to see, pull up Eben-Eatsbeth real quick.
E.B.N.
This is the.
gorilla that was trained. This is one of my favorite players in history. Okay, there's a picture of him
somewhere standing next to Gronk. Oh my God. And he makes Gronk look like a toddler. I mean, he's just
huge. And then R.J. Snyman, yeah, I think, is it the third one over? Is that him next to Gronk? No,
it's not Grong. There is a picture like that. Clearly, he's gigantic. Oh, no, that is Grong.
Never mind. But we're just talking about giants. He's the big. Yeah, but there's another one,
too. Type in R.J. Snyman. He's even bigger. They call him the Viking. These are human gorillas.
Yeah, are, yeah, I mean, these are human gorillas.
Like, oh my God, that's him next to another average-sized drug.
How tall is that guy?
Look it up, look up his height real quick.
What do you even do?
Like, how do you play against this guy?
Does he just barrel through everybody?
Six, nine, and he's probably got to be 350 of all muscle.
And keep in mind, he runs for 80 minutes at full speed.
Dude, so it's not like a sprint hit, sprint hit.
I mean, he is.
Ancles, baby.
Ancles, nothing but ankles.
Hey, their feet still got to hit the ground.
That's true.
So I was a kicker on my high school football team.
Not the glamour position, but, you know, the one that gets paid to come out and get points.
Gets points.
A little bit of work every year.
So I was the kicker.
And what I would typically do, because we were often playing against teams that were much faster and bigger and stronger than us.
Sure.
I would usually do a squib kick.
I don't know what a squib kick.
A squib kick is where you like kick the ball hard but along the ground so it's bouncing.
We call that a grubber in rugby.
I thought it was called an on side kick.
is no no on side's different a squib kick is where you kick it along the ground so that they can't
set up their kick return right yeah same as what we call a grubber same yeah so we're playing
against baldwinsville they had this guy a running back who um was going to play d1 college football
yeah and he was of he wasn't r j snyman but he wasn't far off but he was like six four two 50 in high
school was you know like possibly you know NFL caliber trajectory yeah when he was of course
the kick return. Why wouldn't he be the best player?
And so I went to do a squib kick and I just mishit it and just fucking kicked it high into the air straight down the center of the field.
To him?
To him.
Oh, boy.
And so, and I weigh 1.35, my senior high school.
So he just starts running. He's shoving away tacklers.
And I'm the last guy. And I'm just kind of standing there at the 50 yard line.
And he just decides he's going to run through me.
Oh, my God.
And I just literally out of fear, just dropped onto my belly.
And he tripped over me and fell.
And I got credit for the tackle.
Excellent.
And you took it all day long.
I know.
Literally, I stood up and my special teams coach.
He looked at me and then just looked at his feet and just started shaking his head.
He was so embarrassed at my effort.
How terrible does it feel?
We had a guy like this.
I was on like the B and the C team in football.
My freshman year of high school.
The C team was just Peter.
And there was this guy's name was Flowers.
his last name, right?
Huge.
And we got to play, like, on the main field of the high school one time per season as the, like, the B-teamers.
Yeah, yeah.
And, uh, and this guy was like just insane.
Like, they clearly put, like, their A team guy just to come here and mess with us.
Just to get 400 yards.
And the announcer, you just heard it, like, flowers.
And he just trampled.
And it's the most emasculating thing.
Like, we have, like, eight dudes trying to tackle this guy.
And he'd just be running with us, like, hanging on his legs.
and still get like another 10 yards.
And what's annoying is it doesn't matter like what level you play at or something.
That will always happen to you.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
Like I, yeah,
I remember playing in the quarterfinals of the collegiate rugby championship.
We were playing against BYU.
And there was this huge fucking Samoan dude from BYU.
Like he was probably 38,
but he was an undergrad because he was Mormon and in college at BYU.
You know what I mean?
He just fucking shoulders out to here.
He's six foot five.
I mean, just a monster.
Yeah.
And he made a break.
and it was him and I one-on-one.
And I was like,
this is gonna suck.
And I go, and he's so big.
I tackle.
I go as low as I can.
I go for the knees.
I tackle,
and I end up like sliding down his body.
And I'm just like gripping onto one leg
trying to stop him.
And he's literally stomp hit,
stomp hit,
stomp hit with his other foot.
And I'm just hanging on,
just like getting chopped down.
Your chin is literally bouncing off his heel.
Off his second heel while I'm holding on the other one.
And he still makes it like 25 feet before he comes down.
And I'm just like getting knocked down,
hanging on to this guy. Can you just do the stomp hit thing again?
Do you think, dude, it's like a cool dance.
I swear to God, I was watching it. I'm like this dope. I like it.
Stomp. Do you think that a gorilla? Stomp hit.
Would a gorilla have fun playing football or rugby? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Anything where you can run around and smash. I mean,
rugby, I don't know football that well. I mean, I watch a, you know, Super Bowl, but I don't have football that well.
Rugby's just like a mosh pit of it for eight minutes. Okay. So, so much fun. Are there
rules about what you could like you obviously can't punch or like elbow in the face yeah basically
nothing above the nipples now can you yank someone's arm oh yeah is there a case to be made that the
if i was training a team of guerrillas to win at rugby could i would it be within the rules if i just
trained them to just rip people's arms off to just legally like human rag doll you if you're allowed to
pull an arm you're allowed to pull an arm off yeah yeah yeah this is true in the gorilla rugby
All right, so I'm going to go to one.
Because what I would do is I would just train my one gorilla to just go up to whatever that guy's name is.
What's the Viking name?
RJ Snyman.
RJ Snieman and just rip R.J. Snieman's arm off?
Yeah.
And then everyone else would just run off the field.
And you'd be like, all right, well, we just won.
Yeah.
Let us know what you think in the comments.
I say one also.
How many gorillas does it take to change a life or to, I got an idea.
Game?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know which game I'm thinking?
No.
I'm open for whatever it is.
I'm thinking.
It's time for the battle.
Royal.
Let's fucking do it.
All right, let's go.
I have no Google.
I think I know what time it is.
Do you know what time it is?
Time.
I see.
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No, back!
Thank you for the set effects.
Yeah, that's called a double drop in the industry.
We'll play it.
All right, Battle Royale.
You can't draft a gorilla.
Okay.
Gorilla.
Snake draft.
Okay.
Look at this.
Now that we sit in a line, snake drafts are so easy.
Oh, yeah.
And I always get to go second.
Yeah.
Always.
All right.
It's not fair.
Forrest is going to go first.
Three animals.
Oh, boy.
To beat the South African rugby team.
You've only got a squad of three going against 15.
Okay.
They're perfectly and meticulously trained to play rugby.
Okay.
However, you want them to play.
Okay.
Within the rules of rugby.
Got it.
Within the rules of rugby.
No repeats and no gorillas.
No gorillas.
Should we take out like elephant?
Primates.
It doesn't matter how.
Nobody's stopping an elephant.
You know what I mean?
Should we take out some of the...
Now here's...
You didn't let me finish.
Okay, of course.
Yeah.
Your animal has to weigh each of your three has to weigh under...
Perfect.
A thousand pounds.
Got it.
You can still go big, but you can't go huge.
Yeah, that's great.
That's a really good.
That's a really good rule.
Okay.
Okay.
Should we just give Peter herpes?
Yeah, yeah.
You want to take herpes now?
I've already got it.
All right.
So, so does half of the spring box, I imagine.
All right.
Yeah, number one.
Okay, got to go under 1,000 pounds.
We're going to go three.
So I'm going to do a forward, a scrum half, and a back.
So I know that doesn't mean much.
Can you remind me what a scrum half does?
Yeah.
He's kind of like the quarter.
He's the guy that distributes the ball on the field.
Okay, okay.
All right.
He's the brains of the operation.
He's the brains of the operation.
I like it.
So I'm going to start with, no, never.
I'm going to start with that, my scrum half, that Fafta clerk right there looking fella,
is going to be a honey badger.
Oh, no.
That's your scrum half?
Yeah.
Wow.
So scrum halves are always small, ferocious, like, they're like a ferret.
Like, just get in there and cause chaos and be a prick and get the ball out.
And yeah, and that is a honey badger to me.
So I'm going to start with my scrum half.
mean, small.
It's literally like the wildlife embodiment of Fafta Clark,
one of my favorite rugby player.
So yeah, I'm going to start there, Honey Badger.
February is Honey Badger Month on the Wild Times.
Yeah, it is.
Talks a lot about it with Eucles.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
So you're going to go with your scrum half.
Kyle, can you just pull up a list of animals on 8,000 pounds?
Just any animals.
Just pull up a list.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
My forward.
Okay.
That's your big lineman type fella.
Yep.
Okay.
So that changes things
I was thinking that was going to be the fastest guy
That's okay those are the backs
Just start with the back
Yeah yeah no
Yeah I'm gonna start with my back
Okay so I'm gonna I'm gonna go with a perfectly trained
I'm just gonna do it even though it's really low hanging fruit
Perfectly trained cheetah
Yeah it's the right call runs 80 miles an hour 70
Whatever you want to call it
Yep low to the ground
Great call
How the fuck are you tackling my cheetah when it's got the ball in its mouth
It's gonna be real hard
That's great call
Could it sink its teeth into the ball?
No
Yeah, its head is not big enough.
This is flawed.
Also, that exact picture that Kyle just had up is the emblem of the Zimbabwe rugby team.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
They stole it this year.
Pardon me?
How'd they do this year?
Same as every year.
They sent all their good players to South Africa.
Got it.
All right.
So that's going to be my back.
All right.
So I got to go to two now.
Yes, sir.
Can you pull up that list again, Kyle?
Just for reference.
A list of animals.
I'm going to go with a, uh, a ward hog.
As?
Just somewhere.
I'll go with with the guy who like barrels through and runs the ball.
Okay.
So a forward.
You know what I'm talking about?
Like a wild haul.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
That's a good one.
Low to the ground, big.
They're vicious.
They run.
Tear you up.
That video we watched of that pig chasing after the motorcycle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's terrifying.
I have no facts to back this up.
But I stand by the fact that zero to full speed, there's no faster animal.
It's wild.
Their acceleration.
Yeah.
They go from.
Nothing to, but that's a great, it's a good pick, Peter.
I like it.
I like it. I like it. I like it. It's a good pick.
Okay. Now this is going to be controversial because these animals don't often work together in the wild.
Okay.
I was just going to go with, give myself a lion.
What's it going to do?
Oh, it's going to be the one that, that catch.
No, no, he's going to be the quarterback guy.
The distributor.
The distributor. Any reason?
He's agile. Just a phenomenal athlete.
Not just because lion was what was on screen moments ago.
No, he pulled that.
All right.
All right.
I mean,
you started out really well with Warthog there.
Well,
and Lion is good, too.
Lyons five.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Now, do I want my forward?
Yeah, I'm going to go with my forward.
Okay.
I'm going to take a juvenile polar bear.
Wow.
That's not up to full size yet, right?
Yeah.
So it's sitting right around 999 pounds.
And I'm going to have this be my forward.
It's going to easily be able to fit the ball in its mouth.
Yeah, and no doubt about that.
It's just going to use its massive weight to, within the rules, just sideswipe people, tracklers.
Where is this game going to be set?
Is it going to be a warm field?
Worm.
TBD.
It'll be an indoor stadium.
Indoor stadium.
Temp controlled.
Will a polar bear fare well in climate-controlled atmosphere?
This is a good question.
A lot of running 80 minutes.
I think you'll be okay.
So you've got a cheetah that can't grasp the ball because its head is too small.
It has teeth.
It has teeth.
And he'll puncture the ball with the teeth.
That's illegal.
All right. So I start with the Honey Badger at Scrumhuff. I'm going to do my two picks now.
I am going to take as a forward something that can just take a lot of abuse because being a good forward means taking a lot of abuse.
It means getting hit constantly. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And just being big and being barreling and being able to weather it.
It better not be what I got in my head. I'm going to be so mad because I'm so proud of my next pick.
It probably is. A 900, doesn't even be 99, 900 pound hippo. Oh, wow. And I'll tell you why. They can take more
abuse than pretty much anything else.
When you see two hippos sparring and the giant gashes and the blood and the way they fight
and they're just shake it off.
They're just like, man.
Thick skin.
Yeah, because they got this much fat, right?
And you can just wear it.
Like, thick skin, they can wear it.
Like, great.
Should a rhino a better pick?
I don't think so.
I think the hippo will take more abuse.
Now, here's my concern with that pick.
Well, I think it's cheating, but go ahead.
No, here's my concern.
I think he might swallow the ball.
He might.
I mean, you've seen them swallow a whole watermel.
Yeah, exactly.
Yep.
So he might.
This is something.
That's a risk.
And forwards notoriously are not particularly intelligent.
So, you know, this is a risk I'm going to have to take.
He may confuse the ball for a watermelon immediately get disqualified.
He may.
He may.
All right.
I've got my hippo hippo up front leading the charge, my honey badger distributing the ball,
back to an American antelope.
Ooh, interesting.
Incredibly fast sprint speeds, massively agile.
So the agility is a big part of it, right?
that's why the Springbox, the South Africa team, are the springbox, because of the agility more so than just the direct speed.
It's a pretty solid team. It's not bad.
It's very, it's very diverse across the continents.
Sure.
I like it.
Okay, so I need a Scrumhoff.
Yeah, you need a Scrumhoffner.
So my Scrumhoff is an easy pick, and I'm surprised neither of you picked it.
I better not be mine.
I'm going to go with a big horn sheep.
Okay.
Just getting there.
For a couple reasons.
when a quarterback is under pressure,
they tend to make a lot of mistakes with the ball.
Sure.
Right.
Yeah.
There's going to be no issue with that here
because he's just going to be ramming anyone who comes near it away.
A lot of head gear.
Look at the size of those freaking horns.
Yeah, I like that.
Well, I mean, you go for the legs, though.
Especially my, no, good luck getting to the legs.
He's going to drop that head.
Even RJ Steinman's not getting through that.
Yeah.
Super fucking interesting animal, too, man.
They are.
They're so cool.
Did you see any on your,
recent scout.
Only taxidermied.
Yeah.
But they have them up there.
They're just, they're, they're amazing.
You ever, you ever see them, uh, do the thing that they do for mating where they just
smash heads for like three weeks?
Oh yeah.
It's incredible.
Yeah.
It's an insane thing.
Got like a big sponge layer.
Right.
Between the skull and the brain.
Like a helmet, a built in helmet.
To absorb the vibration.
Yeah.
It's such an amount of massive amount of shock that comes from that.
Oh my God.
Could you imagine the headache you have if you didn't do that.
So basically, my understanding is.
that they, every mating season, the males do this and fight it out because only one male will mate
that season. Within the herd. Within the herd. Yeah, exactly. So this is to show dominance and figure out
who is the, basically the alpha has the strongest best genes to be able to pass that on.
Pretty crazy. Yeah. So my final pick is, I'm going with a kangaroo. He's my wide receiver.
That's cool. Down the most. Yeah. I can bounce. You can hop. Hop around people, putting your feet up. I like it.
These are good teams.
Not bad.
Let me ask you a question.
I'd also like the Brosner's to weigh in if these teams were put against each other who would win.
Not just against.
Yeah, that's a good thing.
Let's see it in the comments.
Yeah.
I mean, I think that's, that's, who do you guys think would win, honestly?
I don't know, because Kyle's smashing his office up.
What does he do?
Oh, my, his microphone fell off.
He got the good microphone and it just fucking fell off the desk.
Kyle, what are you doing?
Yeah, it just fell.
I didn't even touch it.
It just fell.
All right.
So wait and let us know who would A.
Very hard to believe.
Wait,
go ahead for us.
Do you do it.
Why don't remember all the...
Hold on.
This is,
we must edit out because Kyle is,
Kyle is literally wrestling his microphone.
Okay.
He looks psychotic in there.
Yeah.
Here's the other mic.
There's a lot of trapped.
Clownish.
I also think a big part of this is just the,
the Steve's a zoo beenee that's contributing to the overhaul.
Yeah.
Yeah.
yeah.
He's good.
Let us know who you think won or what your team would be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'd love to hear that too.
I would.
I need more idea.
I need a bigger catalog in my head of animals.
Well, yeah, you ask howl to just pull up list of animal.
It makes for a better.
Like horse dog,
cat, kangaroo.
It makes for a better final product.
This is true.
This is true.
Sometimes.
Yeah, sometimes.
But not all the time.
I think people like when you sort of fumble your way through
a podcast.
Slash life.
They look at my big manly breasts.
What made you think of polar bear for your...
Cheers.
Well, I got polar bear on the mind.
Cheers.
Because I was...
Are you guys watching the new season of True Detective?
No.
Still haven't started that, too.
I want to.
So it's called True Detective Night Country.
It's set on the north slope of Alaska.
Okay.
That's cool.
Yeah.
It's, you know, during their 30 days of night or whatever it is, you know, the time where
it's fully dark.
So it's a great setting.
Yeah.
But an episode.
which is the most recent one to drop,
they had a little
CGI mishap with
a polar bear. Oh, yeah?
Yeah. So Jody
Foster's the main character. She's driving down the
road. It's snowy and she almost
hits a, she sees a polar bear standing
in the middle of the road. Okay. Yeah. And she spins
out into a snowbank and the polar bear
comes right up to her side window and it's
missing an eye. Oh, interesting.
But the CGI is
quite poor.
Oh, I see it there. That's it.
Yeah, like that one.
That's pretty bad.
Why didn't they just use a real polar bear?
Like the face doesn't look.
Just use a dummy, you know?
Don't do CGI.
Like, there's no way they spent less on CGIing that than they would have if they just bought like a stuffed polar bear.
Built an animatronic.
Yeah.
Dude, think about how good Jurassic Park looked.
It still looks good, the original when you watch it.
Absolutely.
Those are real dinosaurs.
Isn't it crazy how quick that ruins a show for you, though?
Oh, yeah.
Whatever.
Were you looking and you're like, nope.
That's it.
Like, that's the end of it for me.
I don't know why you're going to make the polar bear's face kind of like cartoony almost.
Right.
There's like a cartoonish expression on its face.
And this is for like, this show isn't geared towards children.
No, it's a huge HBO show.
And it's geared towards like, like people our age who have, who have, who are semi smart.
I just, it's weird though, because like there is a lot of bad CGI out there.
Okay, so let's do this.
It's cheaper, right?
You just made me think of this.
Let's just go relatively rapid fire.
I take a second to think of it.
What is your favorite and worst
CGI?
It can be animal.
It can be alien.
Whatever you like that you've seen.
From a movie, from a TV show.
Go for it.
You say easy.
Well, worst is really easy.
Okay.
What is it?
Aquaman.
Oh my God.
I've never seen it.
I didn't think of that,
but I've never seen anything worse.
I've probably said this,
but we were in the Galapagos.
And I can't remember if it was before we went out to Fernandina or after.
But we're sitting at this table and they got the,
Aquaman movie on.
Yeah.
And it was so bad that, obviously we were just talking about how bad the CGI was for the
first 15 minutes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then we just watched, like, we couldn't even look at it.
So we just watched two feral cats.
Hold out.
Straight up.
Real quick.
I don't want to interrupt, but I do go back to that picture.
So they're showing Jason Mamo how they're actually green screening one of his scenes.
Yeah.
And the guy that's covered in the full green screen suit.
With the hose.
Literally just holding his hose like a dead dick.
It's like ludicrous.
No, that is some of the worst
CGA I've ever seen.
I remember thinking we were like,
oh, this must be like a pirated knockoff
of Aquaman.
Right.
Yes, the Cam version.
Yeah, like the Bollywood version,
you know, like the one that cost $700 to make the whole movie.
And it was the real thing.
It was it.
So what's your top?
I had to think about that.
Oh, okay.
I think I know my top.
My top is Revenant.
The Baron Revenant is excellent.
Like if you, Kyle, pull that up.
The Baron Revenant,
is exceptional.
Yeah.
There's one or two scenes
where you're like,
ah,
the hair didn't flow
quite right or whatever.
But for an entire
fight sequence
against a grizzly bear,
it looks like a real grizzly bear.
Like,
it's really good.
And the way it's lit too
because it's dark
and everything.
Yeah.
I feel like the stills
aren't doing it justice.
But in the movie itself,
you're like,
wow,
that's really well done.
It's hard to watch a
review of this scene
for something online.
I did a bunch of movie
breakdown.
Oh, the GQ thing.
I don't remember.
Yes, this was in there.
Yeah,
I think this was the one I saw.
Yeah, yeah, this wasn't there.
But look at it.
I mean, it's just like, it's fast, it's dark.
The woods are dark.
You know, they did get a good job like covering up the things that CGI make bad with like the appropriate lighting.
That's the smart part.
It's utterly ferocious the way it would be.
It doesn't give its prey any time.
Right.
It's hard to watch that scene, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Turn it off.
I think that's my favorite.
Worst CGI.
Well, can my worst also sort of be my favorite?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mars attacks.
The aliens and Mars.
attacks are, it's like some of the worst. Like, look at that. It's so bad and so good at the same time. It's so
good, dude. Yeah. Oh, my God. Look at those little creeps. I love it. I love it. I love it.
I'm going to go, I'm going to go with my favorite, just to get it over with, because I'm not smart,
and I can't think of anything else. I'm going to go with Jurassic Park as my top animatronic
CG. No, but that's, but that's, that's practical. That's not CGI.
Yeah, you got, I'll just go with, uh. You've seen a movie. You can pick something else. I'll go with Avatar as my,
just my top favorite.
It's unbelievable.
It is really good.
It is.
You guys seen the second one?
Yeah,
loved it.
It was good.
I think they're both great.
I got to watch the second one.
I enjoyed it.
Avatar,
that's a good call.
It's incredible.
Thanks.
And then I'm going to go with
my least favorite is Gremlins.
What?
I think those are practical.
Those are definitely.
Yeah, they're not CGI.
Oh, they're like puppets.
Dude, they're so good.
I think so, yeah.
Look at that.
That mock why?
Oh, my God.
I love it.
Nope.
You got to pick another one.
All right.
So for the worst,
I'm going to go with,
Jesus Christ.
Being the computer guy,
you'd think he'd know the difference.
The hunt for Red October.
It's the only thing I can think of it.
Again,
I don't think that's CGI.
What about aliens?
Aliens?
Why are you picking movies
that happened before CGI was invented?
Because I don't watch that many movies.
I've got to be honest with you.
I'm more of an animal day.
Kyle,
just pull up worst CGI animals in movies.
Let's see what pops up.
Let's see if anything comes to mind for Peter here.
Because we've seen all these movies.
Oh, the new cats was so bad.
Yeah, that was like, that was a known horrible thing.
Do you know about the butthole thing?
Oh God, no, let's hear it.
Yeah, let's hear it.
Okay.
I love for me a good butthole thing.
So the movie Cats that recently came out with like James Corden.
Yeah.
It's like one of the biggest flops in cinema history.
Yes.
James Gordon was in any.
So their bodies are CGI.
All CGI.
Oh, right.
So it's an artist made the bodies.
Yeah.
And you know how like cats show their butthole?
Very clearly.
They put but holes on all the cats.
They did. And then like right before it came out, they had to spend a bunch of money to go through and remove the buttholes. Oh, that's so fucking great. Look at that. Yeah. So this is, this is yeah. Oh, wait, go to that one just over to the right and up one. Yeah, that. Yep. There's a nice little. Like what they put that in. Oh my God. And it last, went long enough to like two weeks before the movie. They were like, get every CGI guy in town here to remove these but holes. Too much anus.
It's absolutely insane that nobody along the process said at some point like,
crazy.
Hey, this is bumping me.
These assholes are bumping the shit out of me.
Well, it's all I can look at.
Dude, they're like pink.
Which, by the way, you should have left it in.
Much more anatomically correct.
Should have kept them.
But yeah, I think somehow the butthole cut got leaked and you can actually watch the
version with the beholes.
You know there's some sick freaks out there.
Listen, definitely.
Furry people just into the cat.
B-Hulls.
I would love to see that butthole cut.
So if somebody has a link DM me,
this is part of it right here.
It's incredible.
Dude.
I didn't see the movie,
but it just looks terrible.
It looks bad.
The CGI is really bad.
I heard James Corden's really bad in it.
Well, Peter obviously has a thing against James Gordon.
Yeah, I don't like him at all.
So I saw him at this like a,
this awards thing that I sign up to go do.
and you got to go and like he was a presenter there.
He like talked.
The guy is just like so full of himself and he kept talking and talking.
He seems to like likeable.
No, he's not.
He got outed and canceled.
He got canceled.
What did he do?
For being an asshole.
He's a dick, yeah.
Oh.
Well, I mean, in my opinion.
He literally got outed that he is an absolute terror nightmare human.
Oh, he seems so like jovial and like chubby and likeable.
It's interesting though, isn't it?
Because you have him and then you have Ellen,
who is also a similar scenario.
But she's like a nightmare, but a really nice person.
Right?
No, no.
No, no.
She's like her persona is like this, this amazing, like.
Sweetheart.
Like gives gifts out, like really nice.
And then like it came out from people who have worked with her that.
She's an utter nightmare to work with like a literal tyrant.
I always have a problem with that.
And I'll tell you why.
Her job is sucks.
Like she has to be in the studio every single day doing the same thing, making conversation.
Oh, I would.
love that. Like, no, but like, her job doesn't suck. She's getting paid a million dollars a day.
Right. I know that. But like, you're not going to be nice to everybody around you 24-7.
You know what I mean? I think this is different, though. Maybe it is. I don't know. I've never been on a set like that.
I don't know anything about it.
But I always think that when a story like that comes out, what really happened was she was probably
having a fucking shitty day.
You know what I mean?
Like she probably got stuck in traffic and her cat died and whatever.
And then she walked in there and like snapped at an intern who was like, Ellen's a fucking
fucking, you know.
And then like that was it.
Like it blew up.
No, no.
When this stuff came out, it was, I get what you're saying.
And I do agree.
I do think people jump on that wagon right away.
That's what I feel.
And they want to.
But with her, I think it was like, you know, it was a pattern of behavior.
Yeah.
Years of people come out.
But I do get what you're saying too.
And it is like, I mean, if, if, if this podcast ever ended and people ask me about you, I would just be like, oh, God, he's the worst.
I can't.
It's just impossible to work with.
Yeah.
Nobody would care.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
Like bad CGI animals from movies.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a pretty bad one.
Oh, yeah.
But it's a very popular movie, wasn't it?
Yeah.
What is that thing?
Oh, is that that dolphin?
The one where, oh, like, where it's like a smart dolphin, they have in a...
Oh, the Jumanji animals are hilarious.
Are they bad?
Good stuff in here.
They're really bad.
That's 95.
Well, that's why.
Yeah, but...
That's like the beginning of, uh, CGI.
The cow and twister.
The flying cow.
It looks comical.
Yeah, this is good stuff.
Sharks in Deep Blue Sea.
Is Deep Blue Sea?
Which movie is that?
Which, which hot girl is getting chased by sharks and...
I feel like it was a
J-Lo vehicle? No.
Yeah, I have no idea. I've never seen it, but
that shark looks silly. Yeah, there's
like one with
Reynolds' wife, I'm blanking on her name, Blake Lively,
and then there's Jessica Elba one, and then
there's like a whole, there was a whole thing for a while.
Oh my God, yes, this is one of my favorite.
Kyle, stop everything you're doing and pull up snakes
from Anaconda. I think this
was a lot of animatronics too, but
when they weren't animatronics, the CGI,
oh yeah, good luck with that.
that.
Yeah, when they go to that first photo, the very first one.
Look at that.
It's heinous.
Yeah, that's ridiculous.
I don't know what that is.
That's crazy.
Oh, man.
These are poor.
I think they took the idea from Jurassic Park like 3D and tried to just use the head as
as the snake.
Yeah, so brutal.
But anyway, vicious deer in the ring too.
Obviously, nobody's ever heard.
of that.
Negative.
Cats.
Let's see what gets number one
of worst,
worst CGI animals.
Birdemic?
Never heard of it.
No.
Did anyone see Cocaine Bear?
I started it and it was really bad.
It was supposed to be good.
Really?
Is that CGI?
I think so.
Let's look it up, Kyle.
Was the bear in cocaine bear?
It had to be.
Well, yeah.
I started it and it was just such a bad movie.
I couldn't get through it.
And it was like, everybody loved it.
They thought it was a funny, you know, comedy horror.
I mean, it looks like a squirrel.
That's a terrible.
terrible bear. Oh my God. Yeah, that's...
So it's CGI the bear.
Poof. Yeah.
Must be. You can see the CGI modeling here.
Well, what else could they do? You think they do like an animatronic?
No, you get trained bears.
You get trained bears in. Just to, like, be a cocaine.
I mean, you just put a bag of powdered sugar down and let the bear rummage around and run around like crazy.
Yeah. Sounds like a lot of work.
The, uh, what's the basketball movie with Will Ferrell that has the bear in it?
Semi-pro?
Semi-pro.
Semi-pro, yep.
The bear from semi-pro was like a, like, like an actor bear?
Yeah.
Yeah.
At some point after semi-pro killed its trainer.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, gnarly.
Wow.
Yeah, that's right.
Doesn't he fight it in the ring with the stunt?
Yeah, exactly.
I got to watch that movie again.
That's a funny movie.
He's got some good ones.
Dude, he really does.
Well, guys, should we wrap it up?
I think so.
Let's go watch a movie.
Let's go watch a movie.
I'm just going to hang out here.
Yeah, it's really nice.
We put it on the TV.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
Well, listen, if you want to get many, many podcasts every month,
right now we do six.
there may be more in the future.
But go to wild times.
Dot club forward slash info.
Got all the links to all the stuff there.
That's wild times.
Dot club forward slash info.
If you want to get what?
We do four bonus podcasts a month.
That's once a week.
Go get that stuff, man.
Absolutely.
If you must.
Hey, let us know what you think about the new studio.
In fact, if you listen through Peter Schick, just write nudio studio.
Nudio.
How do you spell nudio?
N-U-D-I-O.
Got it.
Yeah.
Maybe W. I don't know. Don't care.
However you want.
Nudio Studio.
Newdio studio.
And good night.
Good night, everybody.
Thank you.
Cheers.
Cheers, guys.
Cheers.
Oh, yeah.
Music.
I feel like it.
Studio, the beer.
Headphones.
I don't even care if nobody watches.
Let's just keep doing this.
Yeah.
No problems here.
Damn it.
MPA.
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