Wild Times: Wildlife Education - One Monkey Causes Country-Wide Power Outage in Sri Lanka - TWT 170

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

This week, we discuss a single monkey that managed to take down Sri Lanka's entire power grid, glowing birds, and the worst food crimes. Enjoy!Chubbies: Your summer wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off Chubbies with the code WILDTIMES at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/wildtimes #chubbiespod Raycon: Go to https://buyraycon.com/wildtimes to get 20% off the best-selling Everyday Earbuds! Brought to you by Raycon.Underdog Fantasy: Sign up and deposit for Underdog HERE with promo code WILD to get up to $1,000 in bonus cash and a free pick: http://underdogfantasy.com/ or download the appGet More Wild Times Podcast Episodes:https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wildtimespod/subscribehttps://www.patreon.com/wildtimespodMore Wild Times:Instagram: http://instagram.com/wildtimespodTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespodcastFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/X: https://x.com/wildtimespodDiscord: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9DbWebsite: https://wildtimes.club/Merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merchBattle Royale Card Game: https://wildtimes.club/brOur Favorite Products:https://www.amazon.com/shop/thewildtimespodcastMusic/Jingles by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkeyThis video may contain paid promotion.#ad #sponsored #forrestgalante #extinctoralive #podcast

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Here we go. Trying again. Here we are. Is it recording this time, Kyle? In theory. It might have been the best intro we've ever done. We'll never get those two minutes back ever. This is the Wild Times podcast.

In fact, it's Elon Musk's favorite podcast. That's right. Andrew Rogans. Yeah, I don't know why they talk about it. He's very polar. A lot of people hate Elon Musk right now. Yeah, that's true. Maybe we should pick a different celebrity to say it's their favorite podcast.

Well, you know who Twitter. that it's their favorite podcast. Who? Patrick Mahomes. Oh, yeah. And Taylor Swift. They listened together. She did not.

They listened together. But Mahomes did. They listened together. This is the Wild Times. I'm your host, Forrest Galante, the broologist. Next to me is the broducer and the brofessor. If you don't know who we are by now, don't watch. Just go away.

You know, it shouldn't be here. Really? You're not even going to get upset. He always gets upset when I do that. Oh, I wasn't listening. I was trying to give you the salute. You yelled at me last time. I told people to tune out.

You always get upset when I tell you. Well, it's ridiculous. Why are you telling our fans to tune out? Please don't listen to Forrest ever. Don't tune out. He is a large-headed doll head. He is a head. Do you have a big head?

Yes, apparently. Peter has convinced me. You know how like he's gaslit me into believing that I have a huge head and tiny legs. I'm convinced now. Every time I look in the mirror, I'm like my head and leg proportions are off now. Until I met Peter, that had never once crossed my mind. You've created a body dysmorphia. Yeah.

I'm sorry, not sorry. No, it's fine. I'm putting my therapy sessions on the wild times creditors. If you guys only knew how much damage you've done to me mentally over the past five years. So they just, South by Southwest Festival has just happened. Yep. And they did like a podcast studio thing where they had like some giant podcasters come through and like... At South by Southwest?

Yeah. And like sit in the like podcast booth and like answer like some questions. Yeah. And one of the ones I thought was interesting. I'm going to throw it to you guys. if you could find out that one famous person was a huge fan of your podcast, who would you want it to be? Is there a real story behind this? No, that was just a question.

Oh, okay. All the podcasters answer like, you know, six or eight questions. If I could find out that one. Yeah. Very cool. I want someone utterly ridiculous. Like, I want the queen of England pre-death to be like, I love the wild times. You wouldn't want it to be like Attenborough?

Well, I was thinking him, but that's like a, that's like a, that's like a, That's a gimmie. No, I would pick, yeah, you know, I'm going to stick with a queen pre-death. Who are you? Give me a second to think. I don't know. I'm going with Eminem. Oh, that's a good one.

That would be really cool. Bro, Eminem tunes in every time, like as a Patreon. He's wearing a brooster hat. Eminem's walking around in a brokner hat. He has a blobfish shirt. He's ordered merch. That would be pretty sweet. Oh, my God, I'd die.

So I got to think of if it would just be for personal satisfaction. or for maximum promotion. Well, I was going solely off personal satisfaction. Then for me it'd be Derek Jeter, Yankees Hall of Fame shortstop. That's hilarious. My favorite athlete of all time. He's your favorite athlete of all time? Oh, yeah, he won four World Series.

Five World Series. You'd have to love baseball to care. Yeah, I mean, Derek Jeter. If I knew that Derek Jeter was cruising around Tampa, Florida, just bumping this in his car, as Peter just pours us goblets of whiskey. Could have done that before we started. Who would yours be Kyle? Kyle, yeah.

we're going to throw that to you for sure. Boy, wasn't thinking much. I'm trying to think of what are 22-year-olds like? His is going to be something like No, it's Come on, Kyle, who is it? On the spot, let's go. Just name someone you love. Kyle does nothing but work.

He has no social life whatsoever. It's okay. You got 10 seconds, sir, it's not going to happen. He's like, Mike Trout. Who the fuck is Mike Trout? Centerfielder for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. That's correct.

That's who you want of all the people in the world. He's your sports hero. Yeah. I like him. I like him. I like him. I like him. I mean,

I went with Derek Jeter. That's not like the coolest. No, that's true. Yeah, but Jeter is a superstar. It was a low hanging fruit off of Patrick's pick.

Yeah. Jeter is a superstar. That's why you picked him. Now who would you, they've got to be very famous. Yeah. Who would you least want to find out that a celebrity

was photographed wearing a Wild Times T-shirt? Roseanne. Fair. Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, that's true. I can't top that. She got an egg in the snooce and a wild time.

By the way, I cannot top that. I actually would take back, Roseanne. I would like it because she's very vocal. She would promote the shit out of the pod. But Gwyneth Paltrow is, okay, why? That would be a bummer. Because she's just, she's wearing like a goop hat and a wild times shirt. Can you imagine that?

Yeah. I think I like her more, though. I think I like her more than I do now. That actually would be cooler if she was doing. doing that. I don't know. That's just that whole thing. Every time we talk about the goop thing, I, she's very not on brand for us. I'll put it that way. Yeah, exactly. We have like four female listeners. She would, one of which is Oprah, by the way. Oh, wow. She did actually wear the blobfish shirt in a recent thing she did. Yeah, yeah, to a wedding. Yeah, that's a fact. You got one,

Pat? Or you can't talk it. Dude, I don't know if I can top Gwenith Peltro. It's so good. That would be such a bummer to find out. I did see, uh, four, Your buddy Rob Lowe is hosting a new game show. Is he? On like Fox, wherever the Super Bowl was aired. He was on afterwards. He's always hosting a show. He's so good-looking.

He listens to the podcast, by the way. Dead serious. Dead serious. While we're on the topic, when I went on his podcast, he brought up a couple things from our pod. Wow. He's like, oh, you know,

I don't know if that was just research before I went into his. It absolutely was. Regardless, he's like, hey, you said blah, blah. I was like, nice, dude. He actually does. He has producers doing who do research. I don't know, no, it's totally off the top. But just because he's famous doesn't mean he doesn't drive around in traffic and listen to podcasts.

Exactly. No, it's true. He might listen to it. Exactly. But his game show is very good. People should watch. Speaking of game shows, Kyle, do the thing. Do the thing.

Okay. What's in the news? Let's not make it a snoo. Okay, I don't know what this is. I just see the title, which always gets me excited because it's to do with extinct things. Extremely rare animal once believed to be extinct in area caught on a, camera. dated 17th of February. After more than 100 years, the South American tape here, not extinct, has been rediscovered in Rio de Janeiro's Atlantic forest caught on camera by the

State Institute of Environment. Got it. So a local extinction. Right. So it's come back in an area where it was thought to be believed extinct. Well, that's what we need. The park is 38,000 hectares, so it's a very large park. How big is a hectare in acres? I don't know. I should know. I think a hectares one and a half acres? Look that up quickly, Kyle. Or just comment below. It's so annoying because people people always talk in hectares and acres and I have no idea how the two relate to each other.

I have like a vague idea of what an acre is. Yeah, you know, same, same, same. Yeah, like in California, you can get a plot of land for $7 million. I was right. That's 0.0. 0.1 acres.

So switch square foot to acres. It's great pod when Kyle Google is. It's two and a half acres. Okay. That's a lot of goddamn space. It's big. it's like a hundred thousand acres park. Yes, Patsman.

Kuhnambi State Park. Well, let's say this image, because it says the image shows and Kyle clicked away. I think it was a mother and two babies. So let's take a look at what this image looks like. I don't know what this ad blocker you've installed is, Kyle, but everything we ask you to pull up is an ad blocker thing now. Give him a break. He's on top of it.

All right. Here we go. Okay, there's a tape pair. A taper. 50 years has passed since one was last seen here. So it's nice. So you think that was, you know, it's hunting and half. habitat loss, right? So do you think that they maybe just did move out of the area for 50 years and

this mother and calf wandered back in? For sure. Definitely, definitely repatriated it because that's what happens. So they're highly sought after, especially in places like Venezuela that are particularly poor, people hunt them for meat. And I'll be honest, I've eaten one myself or a part of one with a tribe in Ecuador and it was delicious. Yeah. Really? So yeah, no, it's good. And I get why they're hunted. but of course they shouldn't be, right? Like at least not to the level that they have been to the point of localized extinction. Very, very old mammal.

38 million years on earth, these things have been running. Let's play a quick game. Play a quick game. Take a look at a tape here, pull it up. Okay. Great image. It's a good image. It's a handsome animal.

What do you think that is most closely related to? Our friend Justin. That's a very good guess. Domesticated, or just a pig. A pig, an oinker. Yeah, definitely some type of a, like a war cock. I know what the answer is going to be. It's going to be elephant.

Nope. Beaver. So, okay, serious guesses. So you think beaver. I say beaver. I said elephant or pig, yeah. Okay. Its most closest relative is a rhino.

Okay. It has the elongated snout, but it's nothing like a horn. Type, Kyle, type in like tape your family tree. So it kind of sits between, because when you look at it, you think pig, you think giraffe, you think all these various things. but it's most closely related to the rhino um you go to that uh unexpected family tree down there third row oh that's cool to yeah that one so yeah here that's a malayan tapier but regardless it's somewhere between a horse and a rhino basically very interesting but it doesn't look like either one you know it looks like geez i don't even know something else but you know

it's pigish in body development it's uh i don't know it just doesn't look like a rhino but that is I mean, it's interesting that rhinos are also closely related to zebras and horses. Yeah. Isn't that cool? I mean, so it's funny, I didn't know a rhino is even a mammal. Is it a mammal? It's a mammal? You knew that. It has fur?

Okay, what else could it be? Is it a bird? No, it could be an insect. An amphibian? Yeah. I mean, that's bad. You're joking, right? Being amphibious and being an amphibian are two different things.

Going in the water makes you amphibious. Being an amphibious? Yes. Oh, okay. So are you? Am I an amphibian? Yeah. In the bathtub?

I can't with you right now. Well, what happens if I wear like a snorkel mask? There's no way you don't know this. Kyle, he's joking, right? He must. Can you show me a close-up of a rhino's skin? I'd like to see if there's fur on it because I don't believe you guys. Yes, there is lots of fur on rhinos.

Lots of fur? I mean, hair and it's around their mouth and eyelashes and things. Do you guys get a weird, like, good feeling inside when you see an up-close picture of like a rhino's skin? or like elephant skin. No, do you? I do. I get a fuzzy feeling inside. Let's go back to tape here.

We're all over the place. Let's go back to tapir. So one thing that's really great about tapir's reoccupying this area is that they are environmental engineers. So they help do seed dispersal. They help fruits grow. They're gardeners of the forest. So it's really important.

They play this pivotal role in their habitat by dispersing seeds and creating natural trails through super dense vegetation. because they are so thick-bodied. So they really are environmental engineers. So this park, this Kunambi-Kunbebi State Park, will literally have better ecology and environment because of them moving back in. Very cool.

And then maybe a little male comes in and during mating season he's like, ooh, you know, and then another male comes in. Oh, it's going to happen. He's going to happen. What do you think Tapir's personalities are like when you see that animal? Very just jovial,

docile. I'm going to say fun to be around. I got to go opposite. Skittish, scared, but a lot like Pat. Meager. Sadly, sadly, because I'd like to agree with you, Peter. Patrick is correct on this one.

I recently got to fiddle with some Malayan tapirs. You did? Yeah, check this out. I'll show you. Kyle's pulling up a thing here. It's somewhere in the middle. Oh, cool. An exclusive.

Check this. Yeah, even right there, Kyle. Well, you were at it. And then you went somewhere else. That's good. Right there. Look at this. So I put back up a little bit so you can see what this POV is. We're going to be releasing this video on my YouTube soon. Go a little bit further back, just a little bit bit. Because I don't know that anybody's ever done this before, a little bit more, a little bit more. I put a dog harness with a GoPro on this Malayan tape here. And I had no idea

how this was going to go. I didn't know if he was going to buck or go crazy. If you're just listening, you can come and watch this. He's trying to eat my beard the whole time. These are juveniles, by the way. They're not full adults. And I got this dog harness on him and then let him out with all of his buddies. And that one literally just stood there while I put this harness on him. Oh, so chill. Oh, yeah. Let him go swimming and go play around and stuff. It was really fun, but they're very social, very cute animals. Got a very, I didn't notice just from the picture, but it's so cool watching it in the video because now you can see its actual snout, which is just like a tiny baby little elephant trunk. Yeah, isn't it cool with that prehensile nose? And they use that to pick seeds and fruits and stuff.

Anyway, we had a lot of fun with them, and it was something I got to do recently. Oh, that's so cool, bro, with a little bit of the gold footage. Can I ask you a question for us? Yeah. What's going on with those shorts? Back up. Back up.

Let's see. I was focusing on the tape here. You just need, you just setting Peter up here. Let's see. Well, I'll tell you what's going on with those shorts. The first time I went to India was about a billion degrees, wouldn't you say, Kyle? Those are chubby. Yeah.

And so now I was wearing some relatively short shorts. And it was like, it was like, it was like 60 degrees. the whole time. But you're going like full zookeeper outfit here. Yeah, very much so. I mean, I was working at a zoo. He did want to... But is that, was that your thought process? Yes. Okay. Yes. He did want to give off the appearance of

being professional for the people who don't actually like know him. No, but I mean, this is like, if you went on Amazon and ordered Zookeeper costume, it's true. That's what shows up. I mean, I'm embarrassed to say that's exactly right. And part of how I plan my wardrobe for this, like Googled Zookeeper outfit.

You need a little cap. I will say you want to keep those stems covered up pretty much as much as you can, mate. They are... Okay, well, my therapist will kill you. Animals might think there's some type of small shrub and certain on on them. All right. Speaking of crazy

animal news outside of our tape here, I saw this headline this morning. Love it. I mean, it's great. I love it. Read the headline, but in your best Sri Lankan newscast your voice. That's going to come off as somehow racist. But you have to do it. Total chaos. What does Sri Lankan sound like?

Indians. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing it. I'll do it in my best V-O voice. Guys, have you noticed? Have you noticed my pants? I have. These are the Chubbies

everyday wear pants and I'll tell you right now. You can wake up in them. You can go to the gym and them. You can sit and work from your house at them. That's an important part. And then you can go to sleep in them. They look like dress pants from here too.

And that's what I did. And they are so stretchy and comfortable, man. Chubby sends us the coolest like... Well, I stole Pat's shirt. shirt when I walked in because he was gray he was going on about how stretchy it was and I wanted to try it's like a stretchy dress shirt it's very nice they use good things with clothes yeah I'll say that polo we love chubby's they're a long time sponsor if you want to support the pod check them out whether you're getting dressed for your workday a workout or a weekend getaway chubbies has you covered for a limited time listen to this chubbies is giving our viewers 20% off your order with our code

wild times at chubbies shorts.com that's wild times at chubbies shorts.com that's wild times at chubbies Shorts.com. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out with chubbies. Hey, Peter. Yo. Where are your headphones? You twit. Bro, I got my Raycons in. I got them in awareness mode, which is the opposite of the noise cancelling. And I can hear everything that's going on. Tell me more. Tell me more about

awareness mode. Dude, I wear earbuds in my ears all day. Like I told Forrest last time, I wear them around the kids so I can just drown them out with white noise. I wear them. all the time to stop the buzzing that's incessantly in my ears. And these are now my go-to pair the RACONs. Dude, and the bet, like, the thing I love is when they're, I realize they're dead, I'm about to go for a run. Yeah. If I charge for 10 minutes, you get an hour and a half of use. That's huge. And if you charge them fully 32 hours of use. That's right. Literally not a plane flight out there that you can't wear them. That's right. You got to Singapore twice. Twice. Uh, go to buy raycon.com slash wild times to get 20% off the best selling everyday year buds brought to you by Raycon by Raycon.com

slash wild times. It helps us out guys. Helps with the show. Go ahead and grab yourself a pair. You're not going to regret it. Get 20% off. Support the show. We love you guys. What's up, Broasters? Ever wish you could get in on the sports action without leaving your couch? Well, now you can with underdog fantasy. It's super easy. Just pick players that will go higher or lower on their stats. You can pick one sport or mix it up across leagues. You can even play with just one dollar. But if you nail all your picks, you can turn that into $1,000. For tonight's Dodger game, I'm picking mooky bets to go higher than one hit. He's been on fire lately. And in the NBA, I've got Nicola Jokic going higher than 11 rebounds. Love watching those numbers climb

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Blame for nationwide power cut in Sri Lanka. That was good. Total chaos, monkey blame. Oh, my God. Is that no good? No, it's great. Keep it up. But wait, Sri Lanka is a massively populated country. Correct. Yeah, millions of people, giant island, beautiful. One of my

favorite place I've ever been. So here's immediately I'm going to say, this makes no sense. How did it cause a nationwide blackout? I don't know. Usually if you lose power, it's because something happened on a local level. Not to mention it was 30 degrees Celsius, which is what, like 90? I think more. Yeah, like high 90s.

Yeah, the whole time the power was out. That's right around 90. But the thing that I'm just struggling with is, how many people are in Sri Lanka, Kyle? Just Google that real quick. That'll be millions. Oh, for sure, millions. Yeah.

I mean, the cities are huge. but nationwide. There's 22 million people were without power because one monkey unplugged something somewhere. Dude. How is their wire? What is their grid system?

What is there? What does their power grid look like? I mean, so there is a picture here that Kyle has pulled up, which I think this may, by the looks of it, this could be the center of their power grid. So we're looking at a picture of a macaque,

just clearly, we're just ripping at wires on a telephone pole. So it said it's become an increasing problem because there's a huge population of macaques, two to three million on the island. But I still don't understand how they cause it. Like what is your is everything plugged into one outlet for the whole country? Yeah, like a strain of Christmas lights. If you pull out one bulb, the whole thing goes out.

Well, essentially, yes, the energy minister said a monkey came into contact with our grid transformer, causing an imbalance in the power system. Listen to this shit. engineers scrambled to restore power to the island of 22 million people prioritizing critical facilities such as the hospitals and water treatment plants dude so it was an actual ordeal this is like an emergency bro by the way this terrifies me like how do we know that this doesn't exist in america as well what there's one switch somewhere even if it takes out just a population of like la

or something man i'd be we'd just be without uh without power because some drunk guy fell on the train tracks and rolled onto a power line. They have real, apparently it's like a real, their infrastructure is like an ongoing disaster. Okay. Well, it's that, I mean, it must be, right? I mean, it's probably not designed to handle 22 million

people with three million monkeys pulling at it. Okay. So, nothing is. So, Forest. I mean, by the way, if you unleash two to three million monkeys in California, yeah, guaranteed it would be an absolute trainer. That's a lot of monkeys. Squirrel's knockout power in L.A.

That is too many monkeys. That's one too many. Forrest, though. So, okay, this is a big problem, obviously. This is a lot of people who are affected by this. How could you prevent, how would one prevent monkeys from interfering with these power lines? No, you can't. You can't.

Yeah, absolutely. What have you, like, sprayed them with some pepper spray or something? There's no way. By the way, the whole statement of nothing is certain about the fate of the monkey, the monkey died. Let's be clear. Of course. Yeah, he grabbed some hot wires. Yeah.

All tangled up. And I'm sure hundreds, if not thousands of monkeys die per year there from getting electrocuted, from jumping on power lines. And everywhere you go, whether you're in Sri Lanka or Africa or South America, you see monkeys on the power lines all the time. Like anywhere there's power lines, monkeys are on them. So you'd think they'd learn. There's nothing you can do. I mean, the future is obviously going to be like more, you know, solar, underground, sustainable, whatever. Like, because it's crazy even now driving around California and seeing all the above ground power lines.

And in many other countries, and many other countries, but you go to Singapore or somewhere like that. Yeah. It's not a single above ground electrical line. Like, it shows how backward we are. It's very expensive to do the trenching for power lines because I've thought the exact same thing, because I have them all over in my neighborhood, except for like on certain streets, streets. And those are like kind of the bigger houses and stuff. And then I started looking it up and evidently like, it's obviously way.

cheaper to just have them up. And then that's what the infrastructure has been since forever. So now you've got to come in and like undo all that shit. But dude, like, I mean like power lines are just up in the air. And ugly is shit. Yes. They're so ugly. They're such an eyesore.

I just speaking of Singapore last night, I was curious. I googled what is the longest direct flight? What is the longest direct commercial flight currently? Wait, can we guess? Yeah, go ahead. Okay. Well, Singapore is obviously either the. destination or the

that's one of the spots Departation I'm going to say it is I'll say it's LA to Singapore I'll go just New York to Singapore LA to Singapore yeah Haven't you done that flight four times okay so Google it

I believe it's 18 hours and 40 minutes direct crap how do they keep a plane in the air that long with gas like that must be just a giant giant plane 1750 you're close yeah that's a lot of on a plane. So you've done it four times though. You've been in the air for 18. How many snoozeberries

did you consume? Ah, you must. It's the only way. Yeah. One every eight hours. No, because one does the same thing to me. Like, one will make me sleep for eight or ten hours regardless. Yeah. I would never take more than one. I might die. What's Johannesburg to New York? Because I did that and that felt like the longest flight had ever been on. Yeah, but you also had a dying girlfriend with you. Oh my God. Would you guys rather have just one long direct? 16 hours and 15 minutes. Is it, that's a direct? Yeah. Okay. And then you're only in New York. You still have to get back to L.A. Oh, yeah.

I'll answer that question for you. Rather a direct or a layover. It depends on your ticket. 100%. If I'm in business or first for any God unknown reason, 100% the one long ticket. Oh, of course. If you're in a nice seat,

if you're in a shitty coach seat, as many small flights as possible. Sure. Because you need to get up and stretch the legs and stuff. But if you're in like a comfy, nice business class seat, bring it on. I don't care if it's 20%. hours. I don't care. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. The only time I've ever had that luxury was a flight from L.A. to Vegas, I believe. There might have been one of the time, but I was L.A. to Vegas. 13 minutes in the air. Yeah. It's like a 45 minute flight. I was able to upgrade it for like $35. I was like, I'll do it. Like I'm happy to do it. John Mayer was on the flight, right? Well, I think I might have mentioned this. But anyway, some like guy who just cut in front of me, I was the very first one to go in and just like went in and then his hat down and shit. Anyways.

it was John Mayor, and then, like, now I hate John Mayor. What do you mean he cut in front of you? He literally, once they opened up the line, he just came slinking in, and then just right in front of me. I was the very first person and went in. And then I didn't know that was him. I just hated that guy the whole flight. Sure.

And then as we got up to exit, do you board the plane or whatever, somebody, like, went up to him and was like, you're John Mayor, aren't she? He's like, because he had a hat on. He was like trying to hide it. Sure. Glasses. And then I like saw the whole interaction because he was in like the two seats behind me and he just goes, yeah, yeah. I have a really funny.

I actually have a really funny celebrity airport story that relates to you, Pat. Okay. So the other day I was racing to Columbia. I think I told you guys that. And I was checking in and I was checking in. And there was a big like profuffle with the chick in front of me. She was wearing like weird kind of long baggy clothes, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she, her bag got flagged and my bag got flag because I put a headlamp in my.

carry on and gets flagged every time. And we're both sitting beside. And as we're sitting there, I sort of recognized her, but I didn't know who she was. I was like, maybe I met her once before. When is Peltra? No, it was, some other lady came up and went, hey, aren't you that actress? And she's like, actor. Oh, God.

Yeah. It was. Oh. And I said to her, I was like, wait a minute, you went on a couple dates with my buddy. Wait, what? Yeah. And, yeah, we can't air this. Okay, sorry.

I didn't know. I didn't know if that was okay or not. What did she say? She was like, oh, who's your buddy? I was like, Patrick DeLuca. She's like, oh, the guy with the shark. Can we just, can we just bleep out her name? Swear to God.

Can we just bleep out her name? No. All right. Just cut the whole thing. Sorry. Waste of time. I mean, I was so close to saying to her that wasn't him, but I was like, yeah, the guy with the shark. Fascinating.

Let's talk about it over lunch. All right. You can bleep her name out. All right. We can leave it in. There we go. There we go. The brosters are going to be pissed.

they're going to want to know who it is. That's good. We'll take a guest in the comments. And if you sign up to the Patreon, we might... I didn't know if this is okay to share the story. We might be able back with the actual person. All right.

Let's do one more news story. At least one more new story. This is interesting. I feel like every year we find out that more animals glow in the dark. Every year. That has been like a real... A trend lately.

I want to say it was like a quall. And then I remember when they found out green sea turtles. We talked about the glowing dog. from CRISPR? Yeah. Everything glows in the dark now, but 82% of species of birds of paradise

are biofluorescent, a new study fan. Well, I mean, if you ask someone who watched the first planet Earth, Jesus. It's strong. It's moldy.

Does it taste moldy? No, it tastes delicious. I've had three glasses. It tastes good to me. We're talking about the booze. We're drinking. Pat's being meager about it, but I love you still.

I got a big bite of mold in mine. There's no mold. Can't live in liquor. last. But the first planet Earth, I feel like the most memorable sequence, is the birds of paradise mating. Oh, yes. It's like the thing that everyone talked about. It was the cover photo of the planet Earth.

You know what I mean? It was like the like thumbnail was the birds of paradise. Let's get just a little like 10 second. I think it'll be YouTube friendly if we just get a little glimpse at it. They're incredibly colorful. Right. These birds of paradise. Oh, yeah. So cool. There they are. Yeah. Beautiful. And they glow in the dark. That's a 12 wire.

I'm not sure what that species is. What is the evolutionary benefit to glowing in the dark. I feel like it would be the, it would be bad because you're trying to hide from predators. Well, I'm sure, I mean, let's see if the study answers that, but I'm sure it's for mating for them to see each other. Yeah, look at that under the light. That is pretty, I mean, they have such an insane mating ritual already with the dancing. Yep. They do some dancing. So the males are really colorful and the female bird of paradise is not, right? Typically, a drab brown. And then the males have these, just like a peacock. Yeah, yeah. These elaborate feather displays and

courtship rituals and things like that. Right, right. Yeah, because I mean, you know, the guys have to dress up and do all that shit. They go, and then, and then the, you know, they can just take off. The female is all there just like in her brown shag sitting on the egg. She's really just kind of tired. And, and yeah, it says it's for enhancing the contrast against their dark plumage for mating. Okay. There you go.

I mean, dude, by the way, it is incredible that, you know, what's the rarest? color found in nature? Is it blue? Very good. Blue. Yeah. I mean, look at this. That's amazing. This is incredible. This is like a fluorescent green. The beak, the head is then black and dark. It's Gatorade yellow green. Yes. Yellow green. Let's do a quick

game. Real quick. Best Gatorade flavor. That's funny. I was going to go very similar to this. Whatever the light blue is. I see blue. You agree with that, Kyle? I agree. I see blue? Whatever the light blue one is. Light blue. I see blue. Hard. Disagree. The blues and the

reds leave this disgusting aftertaste, stickiness in your mouth that you cannot get rid of it. What do you ghost your teeth? Yellow, dude. The original yellow. Original yellow. You too? No, red. Ew, dude, red is even worse than blue as far as the stickyness. Isn't red the OG? I think yellow. I think, I always think of Gatorade as the original green yellow piss. Yeah, green yellow piss. It's, it's very light. It's, it doesn't sticky in your mouth. Purple's very popular. I think I could try purple. It's like a light blue. I only go light blue.

I've never had it. I will try it next time. Ice cooler. All right. While we're on the table. All right, while we're on the topic, I was going to do a very similar thing. Let's just say this quickly because I've been, I'll set this up. I want you to tell me your favorite bird based on looks because I've had one for my entire life. And I'm thinking of making a switch. Okay. Oh, wow.

Wow. Okay. I mean, I'll go first. Obviously, I don't have as much outside time as you guys do. But I come from Illinois. And there is a, dude, literally, I just love when I see a. male blue jay. Great.

So, very aggressive. And big. Yeah, they're not small. Yeah, no, their heads are

interesting shape. Absolutely beautiful bird. Look at that. I mean, stunning bird. Very beautiful. Stunning. Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna go with it. I mean, I have to. I just have to go with a shoe bill. Yeah, great. Awesome animal, too. I can't not.

I know it's pretty like, it's like a basic bitch move. No, I don't think so. I don't think most people would say that. Very interesting looking bird, though. I mean,

not typical face at all. The machine gun noise they make. Stork is my close second. I've said... Because they bring babies. My whole life that the lilac breasted roller is my favorite bird. Can we see one of those, Kyle? Let me get a look.

Let me get a look. Lylac breasted roller. It's a beautiful. Oh my God. Look at this. It doesn't look real, right? No, that looks AI. That's clearly by Illuminescent.

It's crazy, but I think... Wow, look at it with its wings open like that too. So it's so funny. My oldest son is just a little clone of me. So instead of reading storybooks and stuff, now that it's five. Small legs. Yeah, he's got thin, legs and his giant head. He wants to read field guides, which is exactly what I did at his age.

And I haven't pushed that on him or anything, but he wants to thumb through field guides. And he loves birds. And as we all know, I'm not like a huge bird guy. Yeah. Do you relentlessly make fun of him? No, it's the opposite. I call him a bird nerd. The opposite. I encourage it. But we've been thumbing through his bird guides. And there's a couple that are just like, Google the Carmine B eater quickly. I've seen them in person, but once we started looking at his books again, I was like, maybe this is better. Look at that bird.

So this is like a crazy pink red, dude, with a turquoise head. And just like the vibrance of those colors. Take a look at it in flight. It looks like a butterfly. It's stunning. It really is. It's a incredible looking bird. In Zimbabwe.

I've seen them because they nest on the banks of the Zambezi like you're seeing in that one group shot. But, you know, I haven't thought about it in 10. or 15 years and then we're thumbing through these field guides and this and a few others. And I was just like, it might be time for a new bird. Yeah. So, all right. But I mean, would we know this bird or impossible?

No, I'm saying that I haven't selected it yet. It's going to be a big moment and everybody's going to know about it. But for right now, I'm shopping for a new favorite. I know I've already mentioned dropping things in the comments. But for real, if you don't drop anything else, tell Forrest what bird he should switch to. and fight about it in the comments. Make a compelling argument because I will entertain your shenanigans. These field guides, honestly, like I've never looked at and frankly, quite frankly, never even like heard of them or knew about them really. And you didn't know a field guide existed?

I was never like into biology or whatever, but I didn't know they were these like really cool, colorful books. And our friend, the guy who I gave the hermit crabs to, I can't remember his name. Jet. Jet. That's right. Yeah. He gave me two of these incredible field guides, man, for stuff around like Southern California. I think it's reptiles and yeah, they're great. They are great. Dude, so colorful. So like if you, if you are into this stuff, it's better than looking online or scrolling

through your phone. Like, it just, they're so well put together. You have all the information. Keep it next to the potty, right? That's right. It's a great bathroom book. Bird books are cool. My dad always had bird books wherever he lived of like the birds in the area. Yeah. And like, I would just, yeah, because they're super colorful pictures and they're just

kind of, when you're bored, you just play through it. In the area, too, is even cooler. So you're like looking at local birds, you know. For sure. I always thought it was cool to just be able to look like he gave me that. It was like Southern California animals. And I was like, I had no idea all these. It was red around.

Take a sip of this and tell me if you taste mold. Do we have animal sounds game? No sounds lined up? No. I missed that game. Tastes totally normal, delicious, just like mine. Let's play a game. Sorry, I fucked that up.

Sorry, Kyle. No, I don't think you did. I think we're fine. Let's play again. Anytime we say edit, leave it in. All right. Top three DFL. Kyle, give us a jingle.

Oh, excuse me. That was Belching. I didn't know we had an actual K jingle for that one. Yes, you did. We've done this thousands of times. All right. I want to tell you how I came about this top three DFL. Okay.

It was when he said yellow gatories. I want to do top three DFL food crimes because our mutual buddy, Mr. John Rundano, who he once called live on a pod. That's right. It was a bonus. It was. Who's also an audio guy for Patrick and I did something on a road trip recently that it was the most repulsive thing I've ever seen anyone to order.

Okay. And it was, it bordered on criminal. Okay. So when I say top three DFL food crimes, I want you to think of things that you've seen that people have done. For instance, nobody would do this,

putting ketchup on ice cream. Do you know what I mean? That's a food crime. But something that people do that you don't like. Yep. Okay. There's really no DFL. It's just tough.

three food groups. Yep. I can go first. You go first. Yeah, please. Coming in at number three, very standard, lots of people do it. You're wrong. If you do do it, putting pineapple on pizza. I just told my kid the other day that he should not do it. And anybody who does should be relentlessly bullied. No, please, yeah, like punch them, hit them, pick that pizza up and slap them in the face with it. It's just, I couldn't agree more. Not could not agree more. It's not good. It's not good. It's not the point of pizza. Correct. And people do like it.

I know people who passionately like it. Yes, agreed. It's like a big controversial thing. Nah, that's shenanigans. It's funny that. Kyle, you want to chime in here?

He likes it? No, he does. You've seen him eat in on there? No, I was guessing. Okay, that's my top. That's my number three. All right.

Number two, uh, people do this. Every time I've seen someone do this in front of me, it's repulsed me. Sure. It's usually at Wendy's and they dip their French fries in their milkshake or ice cream.

I've seen a lot of people do that. It's the fries and the Wendy's Frosty. Don't do it. That's a real stone move. Those two food, I don't believe in salt and sweet together. I don't like it. I don't believe it. I don't think it exists.

Don't do this. It's awful in the photo. I love in and out, and this photo is repulsing me. Don't dip your french fries into your milkshake. It's not something an adult should do. That's correct. Unless you're stoned out of your...

No, I don't care who you are. Don't put french fries in your food. Again, there are people that swear by the food. this. And they're wrong. Yeah. Okay. My number one, my top food crime, something that recently happened is we were on a road trip with Mr. John Rondano and we pulled into Subway because it was the only thing in this little

dirt town in Colorado where we were. And he ordered a meatball sub and put salad on it. Dude. I've never seen. The shredded iceberg. The shredded iceberg. Yuck. Fresh tomatoes.

The whole thing. Manease. Like light mayonnaise. Get the fucking light cold mayonnaise on a hot meatball sub with a full salad. No. It was insane. No. The mayonnaise is worse than the salad on the salad.

It's because of the marinera. Yeah. If it was a dry meatball that wasn't slathering mariner. That's basically a hamburger. Right. But this was a hot, like go in the toaster. Heat up your marinarah meatballs and cheese and then add cold salad fixings. I'm talking sliced onion.

I mean, celery. the whole fucking thing, dude. All right, I'll go next. This is this tough. I don't get out much, but, you know. No one should get out and eat that sandwich. It's true. You know, I've been known to do some nasty things.

I mean, it is a food crime. I've committed many of them when I was high when I was younger. Something I would regularly do and I don't anymore is just a white bread, American cheese sandwich with mayonnaise on it. Like, it's good. I would still eat it, but it is technically a food crime. turns my stomach. It's a food. I would eat the white bread and

and cheese, but adding mayonnaise to that. The mannays, I think it's really good. That turns my stomach. Number two, and this may not be disgusting, and a lot of people do it, but it is definitely a food crime. A plain hamburger

from McDonald's, get out of here. Just meat, meat, cheese, no cheese. Just meat bun. A hamburger with just a disc-at-it. Look at it. With just a yucky, fucking McDonald's hamburger non-meat patty. It's 80% soy.

No, no juices, no moisture on it. It's yucky when people do it. That is yucky. I will confirm. Well, I'm just saying, like, if my son starts ordering a plain hamburger, like, what do you want from McDonald's? A plain hamburger, nothing on it? No.

You take it. If he does that, you take the hamburger. You hold it like this and then punch it. Yeah, that's smart. That's smart. And I know a lot of people might not be familiar with this, but I've seen it done. and it was at a restaurant. I don't remember it was a chain restaurant.

It might have been a Friday's. I was in high school. One of the young females I was with that was in the group on the cusp of like the vegan thing, you know how it was like cool when we were in high school, but like nobody did it. It was unpopular. It was actually unpopular. She asked for a hamburger but replaced the bun with cabbage. With cabbage?

Cabbage. But she was she was vegan. but she was still eating meat. Well, it was a non, it was a non-hamburger, like a, like a veggie burger. I mean, I've seen lettuce, you know, lettuce reps are popular. Even I've ordered the lettuce rapper. She claimed, so I was, I was high at the time. And I claimed, you know, I was mad about it.

Sure. And so as you should be. And like, you're not talking about anything else when you're in high school. This is like important stuff when you're like, this is all you have to talk about. And I was like, why did you select cabbage? as the bun, and she said it's because it doesn't fall apart more than lettuce. True. It's true.

I guess. It's still disgusting. Cabbage? Cabbage is, there's no situation in which cabbage is a good food. I like a cabbage roll, but I'm Polish, so I'll say. Nah. Cooked, boiled cabbage, it's soft. You put some pork meat in there.

No, I know. Well, yeah, because you had pork meat. A little tooth pack in there. You know what? That was an interesting top, like, number one, but okay. Yeah. As DFL. That was my DFL.

That was my top DFL. So I have three. Yep. But a clear one, which is the worst food crime that is committed regular. Okay. So my number three

is going to be a little controversial, but it's putting ketchup on a hamburger or hot dog. You're joking. You don't put ketchup on your hamburgers. And hot dogs shall be eaten with

mustard or mayonnaise or burger sauce. So you take mayonnaise over ketchup on a hot dog? No, no. Hot dog. Hot dog is mustard. You put mustard on a hot dog. That's it.

I mean, I'm going to get skewered for this because it's a Chicago thing to not put ketchup on your hot dog. I say, fuck that. Ketchup on a hot dog is... When I'm at the Chargers games, and there's a hot dog station.

It's like four kinds of hot dogs and sausages, right? When I see someone put the ketchup on, I slap it out of their hands onto the ground and run. You did do that when I was with you. So I do recall that. That's insane to me. Mustard only on a hot dog. That's wild.

That is not good. I disagree. Disagree. Does I also love ketchup on both those items? Number two. One of my favorite. A hot hamburger? No ketchup?

Come on. Number two, this is also going to be controversial. But I agree with this. I think he's doing this for the outrage. I'm not doing a bit. I'm not doing a bit. No, I believe you. He's very peckish and weird with food.

One of my favorite foods is string cheese. It's delicious. I like a stick of mozzarella. What's not to like? If you say you're not allowed to take a regular bite. No, no, no. You must just take regular bites. You can't string it.

If you string your string cheese, your child don't play with your food. No, it's called string cheese. This is insane. What are you saying? You must string your cheese. If it's string cheese, it's literally in the name. String cheese shall be consumed in strings. No, you take regular bites to get a nice chunky mouth feel.

No. Chunky mouth feel of mozzarella. Get yourself a matzo ball, buddy. And then number one, it's the worst food crime I've ever seen committed. And it happens often, wow. Dipping buffalo wings in ranch instead of, of blue cheese. Bro, get out. Get out of the studio. Please. Not really. In the words of Joey Diaz on the Rogan podcast, it's blue cheese with wings or go fuck your mother. Bro, that's what he said.

And he's right. He's right. No, if the option is there, you must go blue cheese. But he's saying that he's, Patrick is saying that ranch on buffalo wings is a crime. I said instead of blue cheese. If it's instead of, I agree. If it's, There's no other option. I don't agree. My premise hinges on that you had the choice. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.

That's fair. As a crime. A close second would be if wings are available and in multiple flavors and you order a flavor other than buffalo. Okay. Kyle has, if you order a lemon pepper wing, I'm flipping over the table. I'm out. Kyle has had now 10 minutes to think about this. He must have at least one.

Give us one. I got one. It's kind of like Patrick's. I don't like any ketchup, mustard, relish, any condiments. He's so weird about sauce. Yeah. It's true. Dry hot dog?

No. Oh, barbecue sauce. No, but he's weird about sauces. I remember. No relish. That's it. If anybody puts any sauce on anything.

I mean, not so. Mostly ketchup, mustard, and relish. Do you still eat butter noodles for dinner? Yeah, those are no good. Those are great drunk. I'll tell you that much. A butter noodle? My wife has started making homemade mac and cheese for

kids because she thinks that, you know, the kids must, and she's a wonderful woman for this. She makes them like hot meals all the time. And sometimes, why can't they just have like, it's got to be sun butter like sandwich with the crust thing? But she won't do it. I'm like, we could prepare the food and have the lunches ready for the next day. She refused it. It must be done in the morning.

Oh, well, she needs help. We should call the FBI on her. I told her, I was like, it's so, it'll be so much stress relief. She's like trying to argue with. me like, well, what could we possibly do? I was like, for decade. Nay, centuries. Nay. Nay.

Preparing lunches the night before. Yeah. And she just won't do it. But anyways, man, I must say that a homemade mac and cheese with, uh, it is, is so easy to make and so incredible, everybody must do. I didn't know it was easy to make, to be honest. I used to watch breadcrumbs on there. Oh, my God. I used to watch a food network show called barefoot contessa.

Oh, I remember that. Jessica love that. It's just very relaxing. What's the premise here? It's just a lady. She's a chef. She has no socks or shoes on. She was pretty hot if I remember correctly.

But just no shoes. She's old and large. Oh, then I'm thinking of the wrong one. But in my taste. That is your type. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A hell of a chef.

But she made this like mac and cheese and I was like, ooh, I'm going to make this fancy mac and cheese for Thanksgiving. Oh, nice. But I had like seven or eight kinds of cheese. $200 to buy the ingredients to make this. mac and cheese following the recipe. And it was fine. It was fine.

But our friend Justin shows up with a competing mac and cheese. Cheaper, much cheaper. He made in a giant cauldron, he made 10 boxes of Kraft Mac. Yeah. Obviously everyone's boozing because we were like 30. Yeah. Doing Thanksgiving. So we're drinking all day.

Of course. Nary a bite of my $200 mac and cheese was taken until the Kraft Mac had been eaten. It was gone. You actually followed through with a little. all the cheeses. I did. I wanted to be fancy. You're also in too deep. Like when you get to the register with nine cheeses, you're not like, oh, sorry. You change my mind.

I got to turn the greer. Yeah, let me put eight cheeses back, please, for me. I will say, though, there is something to be said about just being hammered. And I know this is an animal podcast, so we'll get off this in just a moment. I hate when you say that. I've just he does. He hates it so much. It's not. When you're hammered drunk

and you take... Well, you right now. No, no. I'm in an animal. A giant, a giant, a serving size spoon. out of a vat of mac and cheese and see how wide you can open your mouth and then scrape your teeth on the spoon and then you've had a whole bowl in one bite while everybody's over there scrambling

and just me eating their mag and cheese you're already back watching the game on the couch we're gonna do a battle royale but real quick I just have one more food quick thing just only think of one I don't care a food little joy and I'm gonna give you mine and then it'll kind of tell you what I'm going for

okay you start got McDonald's last night because it was my daughter's birthday. And she requested a happy meal. Oh, happy birthday gabs. Yeah, as her birthday dinner. Nice. Which one you're fucking for, or happy meals the shit, right? Just as long as you don't get your fries and the shake.

She doesn't get them out. Yeah, no, no shake. No shake. And so I was like, fuck, yeah, I'm kind of pretty stoked to get a couple McDonald's cheeseburgers. With a valid reason to eat it, too. Yeah. Whenever you get a McDonald's cheeseburger and you unwrap that little yellow

wrapper, there's always a corner of cheese that has stuck To the rapper. Oh, yeah. A little triangle of hardened. Yep. Half, half hardened, half melted. Exactly. Yeah.

And you, you yank it off and pop it on, pop it in your mouth. Mm-hmm. And it is the best bite of food you can get. That's a real little bit of American cheese. A little corner of weird American cheese. Kyle,

you better be thinking of your little joy. I'll go next. Uh, my little joy and, oh my God, I think we've discussed this before and my little joy was putting that Trader Joe's oat creamer in there. every morning it's delicious in my coffee gives a little

a little flair I mean you get it's the only place you can get it man it's it's brown sugar oak creamer it's so good recently my wife has just on a whim they have a uh it's it's a like a coffee topper cream dude so you basically take it it's not whipped cream it doesn't have it's not as fluffy you you put it on top of your coffee right and it is it a liquid no It's between...

Is it in an aerosol can? I'm very confused. It's everything. Whip cream, except it's not as creamy. So it's like thicker and more wet and heavier. But you put it on top like... Can you pull this up, Kyle? Coffee top or cream?

From Trader Joe's. You put it on top of your coffee. You put it on top of your coffee and you take... It only lasts for maybe 15 seconds before it kind of goes into the coffee. So you got to get a sip from one side, the middle, and then the other side of the rim. Interesting. You get just three.

that's not it. You get three delicious. Delicious. No, that's not it. It's not anything like that. It's probably a new product. It must be because she found it and she does do that. But I'm telling you, you get like three quick sips and then it just adds a little bit to your. It's basically, yeah, cold foam. That's what it's called. Yep. Okay. Anyways, cold foam creamer. That's my little joy. It's something that you would get at a coffee shop, but now you can have it at home. Exactly. Okay. I've got one. Mine's a little bit different, but I've done this the last. last three flights I've been on. Xanax?

Yeah. So you just eat them like candies. Put them in a pez dispenser. On United flights. I think some of the others as well, but definitely United flights, they give you your choice of three snacks. It's very dry, disgusting pretzels. Happened to me last night?

Yeah. Right. Dry disgusting pretzels. The Biscoff cookie. Yeah. Or the strewswuffle. The strupe waffles. Strupe waffles.

Struf and waffle. I don't know how to pronounce it. It's delicious. Strupp waffle. Strupe waffle. It's delicious. So my little joy of recent is every time the Air Hostess

comes by with that tray of your three gross snacks, I ask for three strupe waffles. And I tell her, I'm like, I'm not going to eat them now. One is for me and one is for each of my kids. And when I get home, this is my traveling gift I'm going to give them.

Ah, nice. It saves you money. And then you eat them all in the bath. And then I eat all three of them before I get home. No, I don't. I take them home and I share it with my kids. That is why your head is so large

and your legs are so skinny. So in Amsterdam, they sell during the winter their strupe waffle stands. And they make them fresh and they're fucking big. No. The size of like, I'm doing something with my hands that portrays it. It's like the size of a large. Yeah, look, what would you say about it? Oh my God.

Six, seven inch diameter. The size of pancake. And you can get stuff. I'd go crazy for that. You can get them dipped and whatnot. So I'd go crazy. But here's the thing, man. So I was there right after Christmas and we've been smelling them.

I'm like, let's get some fucking stroop waffles. It's probably like 10 o'clock at night. But it's freezing. out. Yeah. The problem is, man, the caramel hardened so fast on the inside. That it ripped your fucking tooth out. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. I took one bite, nearly lost a tooth and threw it in the same. It's like one of those hard grandma candies, the carmels with the marshmallow in the center. Yeah. It's like biting

into Werther's. Dude, but God, it's Stroop Waffle. I didn't even know a streep Waffle was a, was a fresh product ever. I thought it was just a packaged cookie you got on airplanes. Again, I will, I will not say this. Uh, it's a, It isn't a food podcast that we're conducting right now. It is. It is a wildlife adventure and animal podcast. They're 50 minutes in. They're 50 minutes in. You shut your fucking mouth.

All right. Let's do a battle royal or something animal related. All right. Kyle, give us a jingle. I love you. Don't do that. It makes your forehead look. I forget what time it is.

I'm so. What? Nice. Nice job. Okay. Thank you. Go ahead. What do you got?

All right. I saw this one. It was submitted by a Brosner. I thought it was. was a pretty good idea. Okay. We're in a world and time and place where smuggling and poaching is a massive issue. Yes, we are.

Okay? Now, I want to paint a picture. It's an issue globally. It's not just rhino horns in Africa. It's sea turtle legs in the Galapagos and you name it. It's happening all around the world. Bald Eagle sandwiches. A lot of Bald Eagle sandwiches, actually.

And thus, this battle royale, you are going to create your perfect, versatile creature. that is going to help combat, combat with an M, not N, yeah, combat poaching. Oh boy. Head, body, legs, special ability. Okay, this is good. So, sorry, head body, head body special ability.

Any particular place or just this creature gets created and it goes out to different organizations. That, let's leave a second one. It's general. Yeah. You must go first. Because there's ocean poaching. There is land poaching.

There's bird poaching in the jungles, you name it. We're looking for something that's going to help it all. Please do. Well, it's a draft. Yeah, it's a snake draft, so I'll get just one. Yes. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I have much time to think of my other two.

Yeah, that's a good call. That's why going first is good. Being in the middle is terrible. Terrible. It must have the ability of flight so that it can, you know, strike from above. Sure. Monitor from the skies. Yeah, I mean, you know, and I also don't think that size is going to be, you don't want size because then it could be shot.

Oh, interesting. Hmm. So, head body's special ability in this one. Yeah. So the body will be a bird and the paragrand falcon because it's got the dive, the diving speed of what, 200 miles an hour? It's a good pick. That is incredible eyesight. Yeah.

This is the body, but yeah. Oh, yeah. So it will have the ability to strike at 200 miles an hour from the sky. Very good. So I'm going purely, I'm going middle. Okay. I'm going purely. I'm really going fear-based.

Okay. I want the fear of the devil in these poachers. Oh, interesting. I like that. When they find out that this army has been deployed. Okay. Okay. So I'm starting since everything scales to the body size.

Yep. You know what I'm doing. The body of a blue whale. Uh-oh. Wow. So I want this 100 foot long, massive flesh. However many tons, this huge. With fins.

Body. Yep. Giant body. Okay. Okay. All right. I'll go. So I'm going to start special.

special ability. I'm assuming that this creature that we create is partnering with conservation organizations helping them. So thus, I'm going to make my animal just a real whistleblower prick, like a real alarmist. So I'm going to give him the special ability of a howler monkey.

As soon as he sees poaching, it's basically just an alarm going off. You run away because of the sound. Not just that, but it doesn't matter where you are. You're drawing attention. So you've got the anti-poaching unit full of their high-powered rifle they're two miles away and they hear this and they go,

yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oh my God. What's happening? Plus, you're bringing people in. Yeah. Okay. Special ability of a howler monkey. Now, I am going to somewhat mimic Peters here, but a little bit different style. I get it. You guys want to be like me. No, you're very cool. Thank you. I'm going to pick the body of, I think it's the greater albatross. It's the bird that glides the most. You sure it's not a tuna? Yeah. Or is that albuquer? Some sort of albatross. Yeah, it's one of the... Yeah, it's an Elvacore. It's a giant flying bird, but it doesn't flap its wings much.

It just glide. So it's basically, I'm basically creating a noisy drone thus far. Sure. Okay. A noisy drone. I like it. It's terrifying. Okay. Okay. Okay. So it's very large, too. Yeah.

Very large. So you still need a head. I still need a head. Yeah. Okay. There's part of me that just there's an obvious thing to do for special ability to make it as effective

as possible. Okay. But I'm not going to do that. Because I was thinking give it like the speed of a cheetah. That's cool. You got this massive fast thing. That's not what I want to do. Okay.

I'm going to give it the special ability of a foul ghoul. Oh, nice. I don't even know what that is. A fulmar. It's not a cold. Is that a cold, fowl, is that a fowl gull. A foul ghoul. It's literally like a zombie.

Yeah. So a fulmar is a seabird. Forrest had a fun encounter with one in the Faroe Islands. Ralfed at me. But they're referred to as a foul ghoul. Okay. Because they projectile vomit at things. Wow.

At predators, right? Sure. And what did it smell like when it ralphed on you? Oh, like rotten fish and death. It was awful. You don't want to be covered in that. No. No.

And imagine a blue whale emptying its guts. Oh, my God. Of the incredibly foul fish stink puke. Tidal wave. Yikes. Yeah. I mean, it would be probably like a thousand gallons of fish vomit. Yeah.

That's pretty That's really a Palm poachers. You just took the lead in my opinion. I disagree, but okay. Okay.

What are you going to give your Peregrine Falcon body? Okay, so. Tiny little head. I actually thought of this before you, and I don't know if I want to select it now,

but I still will mention it as an honorable mention. I was going to give it the special ability of a, well, head, right? A head of a hagfish. Where a hagfish

spits out a very sticky slime that's incapacitating. Does that slime come from the head? Is the head, I would say. I think it's all over the body, but that's okay. That's okay. That's okay. But I do have another one where it's just pure brute force as a head.

Okay. So because Pat picked that, I'll select instead the head of a rhinoceros. It scales to the body. That's okay of the Paragon falcon. Pin prick. But that's okay because my special ability will be the reproductive abilities of herpes. That's right. It's been a long time.

Millions. It's been over a year. Listen, you will have millions at a minimum. Nay, billions. Nay billions of these Peregrine Falcon-sized rhinoceros-headed things up in the air above you now while you are attempting to shoot a rhinoceros. And because it has a rhinoceros head, it will be very much committed to attacking these. Now, are you sure that your animal? animals are not going to be poached for their horns.

There's billions. It doesn't matter. They could approach them. So you've solved the poaching crisis, but you've caused the single greatest invasive species crisis in the history of Earth. Possibly. That's great. It's possible. All right. So I've got a blue whale that's puking tens of thousands of gallons of foul ghoules stink. Yours is repugnant. A pawn poachers. You're literally making ponds worth of five. Yeah.

Sticky stink. So it's really intimidating, right? because people who are in the rhino poaching game have heard stories about their friends who drowned in foul puke. It's drowned in their lungs. So I'm just, I'm going to give it an incredibly scary head. I'm going to give it the head

of a rhinoceros beetle. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So just a fucking scary head. Scale that head up. That's some big horns.

Big horns. So it can just, very strong too. Stab through things. Okay. It's not bad, but I think it really does devalue your pick overall. Interesting.

Should I've given it a human head? Bobby Flay? Is it Bobby Flay? Imagine Bobby Flay's head. All right. Well, I have this giant gliding, alarm-sounding creature that clearly needs the head of a chameleon on it. Because if I give it the head of a chameleon, independent eyes so that it can look multiple

directions at once, up, down, back forth. And then that giant tongue, in case it ends up in a situation, it's supposed to be an alarm call creature. but in case it ends up in that situation where it's one-on-one with the poacher, shoots that tongue out. Keep in mind it's scaled up to the size of those giant albatross. So it can basically just pin that

poacher to a tree with its big tongue. Probably knock his ass out. That's it. I would propose this because I think I've definitely won. With the herpes replication, you probably have. Well, not to mention just fucking, yeah, rhinoceros, it's 200 miles of peregrine falcon.

I mean, it's a no-brainer. But I would say I'd be willing to work with both of you to combat this issue. And I think that if we put these animals together, the alarm sound, dude, you're talking about like a war siren. Oh, yeah. And then the hackfish comes.

Slimes you with the disgusting shit. And then the rhinoceros headed paragraph falcon. These poachers could never come up with a defense against this ever. No. This is pretty off-putting. That'd be a real problem. I mean, honestly, we should order a crisper starter. Yeah.

Because we could probably watch a couple of YouTube videos. Cut me that hard. Put this together. People are doing it. Imagine if you tried to, like, create a bird that was so with CRISPR that was so intricately and perfectly put together that it could do the Peregrine falcon 200 mile an hour dive. You know, our bird would literally probably have like the wing of a blue jay and like a penguin wing on the other side. Oh, if we use CRISPR? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, it would be a complete disaster. And we'd be like, we did. even have penguin DNA. How did that happen? Remember we were talking about a while ago about the funding that gets wasted on like these ecological projects for $2 million where the money went? We could win. We could win a contract. Yeah, let's get a government bid contract with our CRISPR critters. We just, we pitch the animal team that we just talked about and then we try and create it with Chris. Well, let us. Hey, do us a favor. Let us know whose creature you think should be

created with CRISPR to fight poaching. That's right. We read it and it means a lot to us when we win. It does. I'd like to win. Vote. Vote for me. Or me. And by the way, if you're commenting down on Spotify or you're in YouTube commenting,

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