Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Rare Finless Porpoises, A Surprise Guest, and a Zombie Apocalypse Battle Royale

Episode Date: June 29, 2020

We bring in a surprise guest who gives us an exclusive peak into Forrest's younger days, and Forrest is on location in Alaska. The battle royale is out of control, as usual. More at https://thewildtimespodcast.com We love you!

That is the howl of the wolves, and not me, in the background, of podcast number 13, coming to you live from Alaska. Wild times. Jordan, tell us about the mentality shift that you had. Why did you put a U in the world? That's how you said it. It's on record. It's not. Forrest wind it back.

He did not say that. You said mentality. What's up, everybody? How's it going? At Forrest Galante here, your host. joined today by Mr. Peter Fitzer, who's in a tank top and looking particularly disgusting over Zoom. Nice. And what's up, Pete? How are you feeling? I'm good. You look great. Your eyes are ravishingly blue.

Your hair looks fabulous. I think, yeah, fantastic day. Great. I like the aesthetics of this so far. And once again, Mr. Patrick DeLucah. What's up, Pat? Hey, buddy. How is Alaska treating you so far? It's great, man. What a cool spot it is up here. I will tell you that the guy that we're working with is a nightmare to deal with. Sure. I hope he can't hear me in the background because I am at his facility, but good Lord, is he difficult. Yeah. But other than that, the setting, the area, the scenery, the wildlife, the water, it's cherry. We might all just need to move up to Alaska. Yeah, right. Managed to avoid being attacked by any Alaskan brown bears. so far, I take it? Well, I went to the Alaskan Bush Company, the only strip club in Anchorage the

first night, and there were a couple brown bears out to get me there. Oh, man, nice. I'm just kidding. What's the weather like out there this time of year forest? No, you know, it's not great, but it's certainly a lot better than the rest of the year. I think if you're from Southern California like we are, then you think any weather is bad weather. True that. And yeah, in this case, it's, you know, it's not bad. It's a little drizzly. It's very gray. It's getting highs in the low 50s and lows in the high 30s. So a little nippy, a little nippy, especially when you're putting on a wetsuit and getting under the iceberg. Well, I'm not doing that, of course.

Kind of talk about that. Well, even though you're in the heart of Alaskan brown bear country, down here in Southern California, we've got a lot of bear action going on. Oh, yeah? Tell me more. Yeah, so get this. Since quarantine started, you know, we've talked a lot about. different animal behaviors, animals coming out and droves, all sorts of rare creatures being spotted. In the L.A. area, it's including Orange County, but in Southern California, since quarantine started,

there have been three mountain lion attacks on humans. And then yesterday, a couple days ago, a woman, a 19-year-old woman who fell asleep in her backyard, just lounging near L.A., woke up to a black bear standing over her that then started attacking her. No way. Jesus. In her yard. In L.A.? Near L.A., like up near Pasadena area.

It serves her right for trying to relax in her own backyard during a pandemic. She beat it off of her using her laptop that she'd fallen asleep while laptoping the way that millennials often do. And she beat the black bear off of her with that. It had scratched her a bunch and actually bit her too. But, whew, a lot of attacks going on. I'm really surprised by the mountain lion attacks. That's odd to me that there's like a wave of mountain line attacks.

I don't think that just saying more people are hiking because gyms are closed, that still doesn't seem right. Like it had been many years since the last mountain line attack on a human in the area. I think being the biologist guy, I think it's more that with everybody being indoors for a while, those animals have relaxed enough to come more encroach more on human habitats, like come into the streets and be a little more brazen and bold and hunting people's cats and dogs

and just be more in a human environment and now that the quarantines are being lifted, people are pushing back out and so they're coming across these animals more which is leading to more attacks which I think will settle down very, very quickly. That makes a lot of sense. In fact, you've solved it, thank you. Was that a murder mystery? Did we just do one?

It turned out there really wasn't a mystery because you solved it in 12 seconds. But that does make a ton of sense. I like that. So forests in an area for one of the, of our shoots, I am not. I am still in Ithaca, ragefully jealous, even though I could have gone. I do wish you were here. I do too. I'm not going to lie. It would be more fun. I really, thank you. And I totally wish I was there. Because it is Prince William Sound is one of

the most spectacular areas on Earth. I mean, if it wasn't part of the U.S., I feel like Americans would travel from all, you know, would travel across the world to go there. But because it's in the U.S., it doesn't seem as exotic. Right. your thoughts. Totally agree. I completely agree. It is strikingly beautiful. So I've been up here to Alaska. You've been to exactly where we are in the Prince William Sound, right, Patrick? Yeah. I've been to Alaska four times before and to a couple really cool areas way up north in the, in the Bering Sea, and out in the Aleutians and on the Kenai Peninsula, on a bunch of glaciers. I've never been into the sound itself, like where we are now. And it is, I mean, it should be one of the wonders of the world. It is stunning up here. And also just the

amount of wildlife. So like for Peter, you've never, have you been to Alaska? No, I haven't. It gets dark at 1157 p.m. And I would kill myself. I'll never go. Dude, it's weird. Yeah, you need a, you need an eye mask for sure to sleep. It's, it's insane, man. I, you know, I spent a few different long chunks of time in Greenland where it never gets dark in the summer. It's just sunlight all or all. And it's so weird because, you know, the kids are out of school. So when you're in the cities, you know, we would go to these long camps. We were there for two weeks. And then we'd have like four days in the cities that was just everyone sitting at bars for four days. Yeah.

So we would like wander out of these bars and Greenlanders, they like to drink quite a bit. So the bars don't really close. And we would leave the bar like, you know, there'd be like 20 of us leaving the bar at 3 a.m. Bright sunlight or, you know, 2 a.m. whatever. Yeah. Bright sunlight and all the kids are out playing soccer. Little kids, five year olds. Oh, man.

I'm like throwing rocks at you. That sounds terrible, dude. It messes you up. It really does mess you up. And they're, you know, they've done studies and stuff. But I mean, it's, it's obviously, you know, circadian rhythm is a huge, problems with circadian rhythm and humans is a huge cause of depression. So in Greenland where there's only 50,000 people, they live pretty healthy lifestyles. Actually, they have no money stress there because every citizen gets a check from the government

every month. Oh, man. Isn't that insane? That's crazy. Yeah. The whole country's on unemployment. They are, but it's interesting. You know, they sell mining rights to a few different Russian companies to mine like rare earth elements and some other things.

And they divvy it up among the people, which is kind of cool. So there's like no money stress. It's beautiful there. Everyone's got a boat. But yet by far, by far, by far, by far the highest suicide rate of anywhere in the world. Really? That is fucking interesting. Wow.

I think, so actually I'm going to go, I'm not, this is not my field of science, but I did read something recently that a lot of these wealthy Nordic and Scandinavian countries have a higher suicide rate. And what I find really interesting is they're also considered, you know, there's no poverty. There's, there's, like, there's no problems in any of these countries. Like, they're not facing riots like we are. And, you know, the pandemics hit them very mildly. And they don't have all these social injustice issues and all the things that we have all the time. Incredible health care. Yeah. So why are all these rich people? in these like paradises of human civilization so depressed and killing themselves.

And so I did a little Googling on this once a couple years ago just because I found it interesting. And the most commonly accepted theory was their lack of vitamin D from the sunshine actually affected their chemical balance of their brains, which gave them more depression. That in combination with the fact that when you have nothing to worry about, that's like tangible and real, you kind of go into a depression. There's like nothing to strive for, right? Like everything's perfect. Society's perfect.

There's no crime. There's no problems. There's no pollution. Like the world's great. So you go into like an internal depression trying to create your own problems. And when you combine those two factors, the lack of sunshine and vitamin D and these this like, I live in such a nice society that nothing's wrong. So everything's wrong. That's what leads to these high suicide rates, which I found really interesting.

It's like a it's like a snotty 16. year old in Beverly Hills who lives in a mansion and, you know, gets a Ranger over on their birthday, but yet they're constantly moping. Totally. 100% agree. I'll say just since it started getting nice out in L.A. and the pools open and shit in the beaches, because we were in the pandemic, like not going out, not doing anything. It was still gray out cloudy. I've been out every day for the past couple weeks. And the vitamin D thing, the sun thing, you can feel it. I mean, I felt it just recently, just to illustrate your point. Well, and the circuels. The stadium rhythm thing I do think comes into it.

I mean, you know, the Scandinavian countries are pretty far north. They do have big swings in the amount of daylight. So in the winter, that's, you know, barely daylight. And then in the summer, it's fucking light until midnight. Now, I saw it referenced in a study where they're trying to figure out why so many commercial airline pilots commit suicide, right? They make a very high wage. A total number of hours isn't super high.

I would imagine it's a high stress job. but because of the way that they schedule pilots flights, their sleep gets fucked up. And it's almost impossible for commercial airline pilots to have consistent sleep schedules. How do you survive then, Pat? Because we know you don't sleep. You never sleep.

That's true. I'm very happy, actually. But that's true, you are. But the sun is the same. Right. Right. I mean, isn't that a big part of it? We're talking about natural light cycles.

and I mean, shit, like Patrick, you and I have done it. When you go on one of these trips and you fly for 40 hours and then you get off and like you left in the middle of the night and you arrive in the middle of the night or the middle of the day, whatever it is. And it's all fucked up and you want to be away. Well, you're a fucking freak when it comes to sleep. But for me, when I want to be awake all night during the day and it's just like everything's messed up.

I totally, I won't, I'm not a depressing person. Like I've never, don't think I've ever felt depression, but I totally get drained and miserable. and like it's just like life's not good when you're fighting that constant jet lag feel. It does take a couple days to like feel the joy of, it's funny because like I feel like we do that a lot. You know, we've traveled to some really remote places. A lot of times it's like four flights with big layovers.

And when you finally get to where you're going, you've barely slept and you're like, all right, let's just like get a couple beers and pass the fuck out. Even like the beers don't taste good. Totally. Totally true. Yeah, so I saw something. in the news that was super interesting because I've been at the beach a lot and I've been seeing

a lot of dolphins at the beach like every day. They're just hanging out near the shore-ish and you can see them and you can see them because they come up out of the water with their fin and then they go back down in and you're like, whoa, dolphins and then you can kind of track them and follow them around. But there was some, I think you just did a haiku by the way. I wouldn't know anything about that. Yeah, I mean, but there are some drone footage. released of these finless porpoises that apparently are very hard to spot because they don't have the fin forest. What's up with these things? So what? They don't have a dorsal fin? That's correct. Whoa. Yeah. No, they're a fascinating animal, the finless porpoise. They're there, so they,

they occur in a couple different areas in the Indo-Pacific, but around Hong Kong where this footage was filmed, and I'm always kind of, one thing I'm always keeping an eye on is footage of new animals filmed with drones, because it's such a bread and butter for everything that we do. Um, and Finless porpoises are an incredible creature. What they have on their back is a... Their back is shaped and streamlined in a way that, you know, you would maybe carve something to be aqua-dynamic so that they don't actually have to have that dorsal fin. They just have this very weird ridging that kind of flares out and down the way a submarine

is shaped on their back. And they're a very rare animal. You know, one of the reasons is being in the Indo-Pacific and occurring in areas like Hong Kong where there's a lot of pollution and typically a lot of... of marine mammal hunting. There's just not a lot of them around. So to get this remarkable footage of these finless porpoises, you know, swimming and near Hong Kong too, which I think is fantastic, is amazing. And I think once again, it adds like a couple elements, right? One is the use of this technology and this new field. And I love, you know, the whole like kind of MacGyvering technology

and repurposing it for wildlife science. And the other is the fact that, you know, in some, in some fields, not all, in fact, very few. It's a minority, not the majority. We're doing a good job with conservation. And like, this is, I don't know the full recovery story of the finless porpoise, but it looks like a little bit of recovery is taking place. And that's, that's great. Any idea why, why they would have evolved to not have a dorsal fin? Any speculation? I think, and I'd have to double check this and given my very limited internet up here in Alaska, I don't have this for sure. But I know that, you know, it's in the, let's talk turtles for a second here. In the turtle world, you have hard shell turtle and soft shell turtles, right? Now, why would a turtle, the thing known for having a hard shell evolved to be soft, right? It had to sacrifice that for something. And I think what the commonly accepted theory with them is soft shell turtles came about because they're so fast, they're the fastest turtles of the freshwater turtles that they had to shed that weight of the hard, hard shell. So now their defense is not being, having, walking around in a heavy suit of armor.

but rather being the cheetah of the turtle world and zipping away from the predators at lightning speed. And I believe the same is the case with the finless porpoise, where they're actually a faster porpoise for not having that dorsal thin, and it allows them to be quicker in short bursts, which is an evolutionary adaption for that animal. The dorsal fin's a steering mechanism, right?

It helps them be more agile and make sharper turns. So these guys are just like, fuck it, I'm going to be all over the place, but I'm going quick. pretty much wiggling and wobbling everywhere to that yeah yeah and I think in a straight line you know they're probably I don't know this for sure like I said

but my guess would be based on their anatomy in a straight line I bet they're faster than any other porpoises losing the drag of that additional thin in the video they're just they're described as a small bathtub sized creature I think it's funny that somebody decided

to describe them as bathtub sized in the actual way that's nothing that's crazy Wyrly different sized Yeah Who's bathtub? It's a bathtub size

Like Donald Trump's bathtub? It's probably the size of a swimming pool Maybe like if you saw a rodent you're like How big was the rodent you're like Oh the size of a Wi-Fi router? Wait, what? That doesn't help me All right so guys

I have a guest for us this week Ooh Who is? I was sipping my ying like I almost choked I was so surprised It's that exciting. What? That forest actually did some preparation for once. And by preparation, you mean sent a text exactly 15 minutes before the podcast started.

What do we got? Yes. So we got my buddy Jordan Mayshock, a longtime friend, but more notable than he is a friend, he is an excellent spear fisherman. In fact, I would say he's the only person, probably in the world, that's ever shot a yellowtail bigger than mine on the California Channel Islands. We've traveled to like 12 different countries together. Spirit fish all over. Jordan's got an interesting story because he used to be a big game hunter and then switched into sustainability. So someone who was more about harvesting food and not caring about trophies and more about

getting fish to eat and meat to eat. And it's a cool dude. So let's ring him up. No need to ring. This isn't 2001, mate. He's on. This is quite the intro for Jordan. So I've never met Jordan before, but I'm looking at him.

And you just introduced him as a world. class big game hunter turned spear fishermen and sustainable food guy. I'm looking at a nerd. I'm looking at Donald Trump Jr.'s doppelganger right here. Dude, that's the worst insult I've had in years, actually. I don't know if I want to stay on the show after that. Very handsome. Jordan, welcome to our podcast. This is how you are treated when joining us in our conversations. If I'm getting shoved in the pool and dragging you in with me, get ready. Oh, yeah. Trying to get you. That's what we want. He's a nerd. So, Jordan, tell us, tell us how did you first meet for us. Anything interesting.

Yeah, it definitely wasn't my freshman year as Forrest just lied. I was going on a spearfishing trip to Mexico with a couple of my friends. It was for sure freshman year, you dipshit. Definitely not. What year was it? I believe Jordan. It was at least junior year because I know what house I was living in. No way.

No way. That's accurate. Please continue it. I don't think Forrest knows where he's at right now. Yeah. I don't know this clown at all. I know regular people and we're all. going on a spearfishing trip down to Mexico.

And the day before, someone's like, oh, I got a guy who spears, he wants to come along. And we're all 19 or 20. And so it's like, yeah, that's no problem. We can change all of our plans to accommodate this guy. Further supporting my fact that it was freshman year. Ah, man. Sorry. Oh, this is how it's going to go for the next 20 minutes.

This guy just walks up like he owns the world and is like, hey, yeah, I want to come with you. I love to spearfish. And we agreed. And so this guy came on the trip and was just a general nuisance the whole time. sort of guy where we all go out in the water and like we're on the boat like okay well should we jump in right here like okay let's get ready and force like cool I'm already ready just jumps in the water and like big belly flop and start swimming around we're all like okay cool I guess there's no fish left and just everywhere we went that has been for 10 years well okay so I was gonna ask you are you just giving him a hard time because it's fun to or was is he like was that legit like first time he this is a 100% everything I just said is yeah spear fishing is competitive right if If you're not the first guy in the water, you're wasting time. But you scared all the fish away is what he's saying with your big belly flop that you did. Did he have a big belly as well?

Or was it just a big belly flop? Oh, yeah. I mean, we love talking about, you know, pre-TV forest being pretty girthy. It's so funny because I can tell Forrest is going to catch a ton of shit in the next 10, 15 minutes. Oh, really? What gives you that idea? I happen to know that you've had an incredibly stressful day. So I'm going to be interested to see if you can handle it or if you just smash

your laptop to bits. I might just get up and walk out and link it to you guys. I have no patience for this. Forrest, how many spearfishing world records are you purported to have? I have six. Jordan, how many do you have? Oh, none. Not in for the glory. Not the glory hog like Beatty over here. But he has speared the biggest fish that anybody has out of your group. No, the biggest yellow tail. That's the biggest yellow tail. Yeah, so California Channel Islands where I live, Jordan, when he was still living in California, used to come down all the time. We'd go out spearfishing there. And the biggest trophy out there is the Yellow Tail.

And Jordan caught shot an enormous one one day on the backside of the island. 44 pounds, if I remember correctly. Wow. That's huge. How deep are you when you get that, when you get a 44 pounder? Probably like 30 or 40 feet. That wasn't a deep dive. That was a pretty mellow.

We were just kind of floating around and I saw it and dove down. And he saw me and swam up to check out what I was. And that was a problem for him. Oh, man. Sounds like a gimmie, man. There was no, oh, absolutely. There was no great stock, and, like, this wasn't some super complicated thing as much as I'd love to tell that story. It was definitely me just diving down and this thing swimming up like, oh, what are you?

And me going, oh, okay. The funniest part of that story is after Jordan did shoot this horse of a yellow tail. I looked up and it was dragging him out to sea at top speed. He was like wakeboarding behind this thing. And I was like, nice one, man. You got a good fight. And he's like, shoot it. Just shoot it.

Really? I'm not going to shoot it. It was dragging him straight out. Wait, so you could have went and helped him and you didn't? Yeah. You have to understand the dynamic of our friendship here. Forrest, if we ever find ourselves in a situation where I'm asking you for help. Be prepared for him to just look over you and wave.

Yeah, please just do it. Okay, deal. I'm trying to think if that situation has arrived on one of our shoots or not. It probably had. I'm sure. Oh, yeah. When I thought I was dying in the Galapagos and I came crawling to your bunk to ask you for help as the medic, Oh, yeah.

That's right. Wait, what happened with that? Dude, we just gotten out to the glop, to the super remote island of Fernandina in the Galapagos. Mm-hmm. We go to bed on this shitty boat that's listing to the right at a 45-degree angle, and we're going to get up in the morning to do the big hike. Yeah.

You know, on a 110-degree volcano. And the last thing you want to be is sick. And I wake up, and it feels like I've swallowed a bag of glass shards. Oh, yeah. That's right. And so I just lay with it for about an hour, and it gets worse and worse. Oh, man. And I, so I go up, Forrest is just sleeping out under the stars on the deck.

And it was, it felt like a little kid climbing into his mom's bed. I literally, I was just like, Forrest, help. It was so polite, too. He like gently nudged me on the shoulders. No, I guess, are you awake? Well, first I kissed your lips. See if that wakes up. But then you gave me some sort of magic pill.

I went to sleep and woke up four hours. hours later as if it had never happened. I don't even remember what you gave me. Did he unzip his pants before he gave you the pill? Was there a zipping noise? Yeah, yeah, exactly. It was, yeah, it was more of a liquid. And like I said, it's a magic liquid.

All you have to do is close your eyes and suck it out of a hose. Yeah, it doesn't matter what it is. It worked great. Yeah, magic liquid. So, Jordan, what's your, uh, what's like your top story from spearfishing with forest? Like your, your, your favorite memory or the one, where he did the most obnoxious possible thing. The one that's going to make him sound and look a real bad.

Well, the biggest thing is Forrest is like presented as this expert who knows how to do everything. And he's been presenting himself that way since he was a child when he didn't know what he was doing. And I guarantee he doesn't know much more now than he did then. So two times I should have died because this asshole told me he knew what he was up to and clearly didn't. We're going out to the Channel Islands where I shot that yellowtail. we're on our way out and there's supposedly weather coming in and we're like oh we're looking at the forecast you know waves aren't that bad we're in like a 13 foot whaler before is that 13 footer 15 it was 15 but tiny way too small of a boat to be crossing a channel so the actual boat's 13 right

it was tiny yeah so we're going out there and they're like oh yeah we're expecting some pretty big waves later on we go all the way out we do our day of fishing and we're out there looking back across i think a 20 mile crossing or so and it's just 24 horrid white caps like it's bad And apparently we had been diving protected by the island the whole time and not seeing the wind coming in and the storm coming in. And so you look back and we're like, so me and the other guy who don't know boats very well are like, hey man, we should probably just shelter here. We can make it back. Don't stress guys. Super easy.

I'm like, okay, no big deal. And so we start cruising back. And this story has made me look up facts about boats because I couldn't properly explain how stupid it was to try and make it back. we're literally maybe a mile from the island with 19 to go when the coast guard's radioing like small craft advisory any boats under 30 feet please pull in shelter wherever you are do not try and make it across the crossing and for us like they do that all the time man don't worry about it we're fine forest forest just looks at it and goes bro i got this

we're good basically he just looks like don't be a bitch we're gonna be fine like yeah man the waves mode of bitch meanwhile you're just like gulp okay yeah I still think he knows what he's about. I'm like, oh, yeah, four is probably right. Those guys are pussies. We're going to be fine. And so another like two miles later, we are in at least 10 foot waves. Oh, my God.

We are riding waves up and down. Like we're going up and down mountains in the boat and like a rubber ducky in a bathtub. And so I've had to look this up. And apparently, statistically, any wave that's 40% the length of your boat, So if you're in a 100 foot boat, a 40-foot wave is considered the absolute maximum you can take side-on. And at 60% of the length of your boat, waves even head-on are likely to swamp or flip your boat, like literally head-over heels, cartwheel your boat. We're in a 13-to-15-foot boat in 10-foot waves, which means you get like 6-7-foot waves, but you also get some 12- and 15-foot waves. Right.

So we're just a bunch of idiots floating around in a bathtub, chopping around on our way back. the best part actually his other buddy Tommy who knows much less about boats than even I did is in the very front the worst place you can be on a choppy boat gripping both railings for dear life like he's in the absolute point in the bow of the boat looking over his shoulder with this giant shit eating grin like this is the most exciting thing he's ever seen and forest iron back at this point forest is admitting privately oh my god we might have to swim it back It was getting really bad. Oh my gosh. We broke through a number of waves. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know where you're going with this. Yeah, first time I ever saw them.

Dead center. Ten miles from shore, ten miles from the islands. We're just cruising up and down waves, but all of us have filled our wetsuits with shit by now. And we are looking out to the side because the waves are coming at us at an angle, not head on, so we have to constantly be scary off to the side of the boat. Dude, yeah.

So scary, man. Brutal. We're all looking off to the side, and all of a sudden, tube fins. True story. And Forrest, being the expert mariner he is, immediately, let's go of the wheel, jumps to the left railing of the boat and goes, great whites, great whites, look, look, great whites. Like, that's the coolest thing he's ever seen. And now we're just in a rudderless boat floundering the waves with two great whites circling around us, checking out the boat to

see if there's food. They were as big as the boat, too. Dude, so at this point, you didn't know that Forrest had the mental deficiency where he doesn't feel fear. or anything like that. I mean, you knew after this, obviously. Yeah. These discoveries were made later. Dude, so for people that don't, you know, aren't experienced semen or spear fishermen, the sideways wave.

It's pronounced semen. It's pronounced semen. The sideways wave is utterly terrifying. Like, that's the one where you, that kills you. Have you guys seen, there's a YouTube video of something called the Dropner wave? No. Okay. So, you know the concept of a rogue wave.

right? Yeah, certainly. Just a massive freak wave that's, you know, more than double the size of the average wave height, right? It's sort of been this thing that sailors and experience, you know, people on the ocean have talked about for years, but we only discovered proof of it in 1998 with a dropner wave. There's a video of it on YouTube. It's this oil platform. It's getting smashed by 30-foot waves and all of a sudden this 90-foot wave comes up and it's on video. It is the scariest thing you will ever watch.

Like, you got to watch it. Like, you'll have nightmares about it. Where does this take place? What country is it in? Off the coast of Norway, there's a oil platform called the Dropner platform. And it was getting smashed. Just engulfs the platform? It's fucking unbelievable.

Dude, you see it coming? And it's like, the video puts the fear of God. Would you rather die via, like, turbulence than plane crash or on a boat that's getting just pummeled by waves than and Great Whites are circling the boat. Plain crash for me. Absolutely, plane crash. I'm really surprised that Patrick went with the plane crash. Me too.

I have flown with Patrick many times, and he is not a fan. He doesn't like it. He's the guy that rolls up the window shade when there's turbulence to see what we hit. Every single bump my entire life. Has you ever done that thing where he just like slips his hand on your thigh and squeezes? Has he done that to you? Don't you worry about what we're doing when we're flying, right, Peter? You just keep yourself over there.

He's done that to me even. There's a reason he always picks a middle seat. What goes on in first class stays in first class, pal. The plane drives great because the turbulence hits. Plan's going down. You've got a solid minute where you're like, there is no doubt about what's about to happen, and it's going to end instantly.

I've got one minute to think about everything that was great in life and shitty in life or maybe send a text message if I suddenly get service on the way down or whatever it is. The boat, it's going to flip, and you're just going to spend a half an hour getting beat to ship by a ways, choking and gurgling, and then eventually maybe, if you're lucky,

you're going to get ripped in half by a shark to speed things up. So what you're supposed to do is if you're in a ship and you see a wave that's going to capsize the ship coming towards you, what you're actually supposed to do is you take the flare gun and you shoot it down your throat and kill yourself. That's the protocol. Excellent. That's what Tommy and I were fighting for.

Well, Forrest was on the radio. They're looking at shorts. Yeah, arm wrestling over the flare gun. So the thing I'd like to get into with Jordan today, other than just make fun of my stupidity, is, you know, Jordan comes from, Jordan grew up in a hunting family. He used to take hunting trips to Africa. And now he, and he still hunts, and as do I,

we both spearfish together for meat and not for trophies. And Jordan has switched from this big game hunting mentality to someone who is all about sustainability. He buys sustainably for the meats that he eats. He shop, you know, he shopped sustainably for vegetables and groceries, and then he goes out and harvest his own fish for protein, which is, of course, the most sustainable way of doing it spearfishing with zero bycatch. So I'd like to just, you know, jump into that for a second as the, as the biologist nerd of the group, and Jordan's, Jordan's an honorary broologist today. Yeah, great calf muscles, by the way. He just stood up to get himself some more whiskey.

He's got great calves. Jordan, tell us about the Montana. shift that you had when, uh... Why did you put a you in that word? Because that's how you said it. It's on record. It's not. Let's just wind it back. Not say that.

He said mentality. Mentality. Mentality. So my question for you, Jordan, for our listeners, is what made you switch from big game hunting? See, there I said gain. So there you can won that one, Peter. Um, Boochraft.

What made you switch from big game hunting and trophy hunting to being all about sustainability and harvesting protein that's important. important to you. I think a misperception about big game hunting is what made me really like it. Like, when you grow up and people tell you about cool, tough, manly things to do, hunting is one of those things. People talk about like, oh, you're going to go out and you're going to shoot a line, and that's like so crazy. And so I grew up in that environment thinking that hunting is just awesome because it's manly and cool. And so it was always, you know, what's the bigger thing you can shoot? What's the more dangerous thing that you can shoot? And then somewhere around

like high school or yeah right around high school they realize like this is really easy like you get within three 400 yards of something it's not tough they're animals they don't expect you'll be able to do anything from that far away and if you're a decent shot you just sit there and shoot it and then you walk over like cool got him and it's just not a complicated or difficult thing it's just harvesting

and anyone who thinks that they're really tough because they can shoot a deer needs to go fuck off so at that point like you know I liked hunting it's still a fun activity but I wasn't going to do it just for any bragging rights or trophies on the wall because it's just dumb. It kind of points out how much you value your ego over reality to have a big deer on the wall that you're so proud of. I'm assuming your mom and dad or at least one of them hunted and that's how you got into it. Yep.

That was a big hunter. You know, I grew up going to zoos, you know, animal lover had pets. Feeding mere cats with juju-bis or whatever. Yeah, we go on vacations, we do whale watches, whatever. So I loved animals. Did growing up hunting, did it keep? you from like developing like a care for animals like were you the guy who oh definitely not instead of petting a cat you give it a little kick into the pool no great image but no um no i

think that i think this is common among most hunters hunters at least from in my experience have a a super big attachment to animals like we are very fond of animals caring for animals caring for the environment where the animals live the hunting is a cool activity and yes it ends with shooting something but But anyone who eats meat can fuck off if they think hunting's bad because, you know, the animal that you're eating lived in a cage, its whole life in its own piles of shit before someone finally put it out as a mercy killing. So if you eat meat and you think hunting's bad, you need to reevaluate. Most hunters love the environment. They love wildlife. I grew up loving animals.

I grew up on a farm. We had several dogs, more cats than I can count. We had emues at one time. Like animals were my life. It's just that part of having animals and living on a farm is that animals die and you eat them. Let's play a game. Let's pause for one second. Let's play a game. Peter, what's an emu? It is the large bird that is featured in Final Fantasy 7 the video game. God damn, only because he's played a video game.

Dude, no, last week you said the giant Moa was featured in Final Fantasy. I was corrected via our social media and somebody told me exactly what I was what I was going for and I thanked them. Thank you. So you know what an emu is because of this podcast. So you made an incorrect statement. One of our listeners corrected you. Correct. Through social media.

Thus, you are more intelligent due to our podcast. This podcast has changed my life just in one week. So quick e-bue side-like, there was a kid named Jason Davis, my senior year in high school. And he wore this brown, like, I don't know what it was. It was this brown furry vest. And we called it the emu. and one day at lunch he was flicking individual peas at me with his spoon and hitting me in the forehead and I told him that if he flicked one more pee I was going to hack a lugy on his emu

and he did and I did and he punched me the hardest I've ever been punched in the kidney and I thought I was going to die because I spit on the emu I love hearing any story where you get punched. That's a good story. Man, that was a rough kidney shot. So, Jordan, do you still hunt as part of your sustainable food sourcing or now? Yeah, I don't do it anywhere near as much as I used to because hunting is less fun to me than spearfishing. Spear fishing is more of like an activity and it's you go somewhere cool, it's rare that you go somewhere shitty to spearfish.

You usually go somewhere in the tropics and it's awesome. And hunting when you're not successful is a whole lot like sitting somewhere and doing nothing and being uncomfortable in the cold, whereas spearfishing and not being successful. is just snorkeling. Yeah, good point. Great point. See, I still hunt. I don't hunt anywhere near as much as I used to, and nowadays, like, I wouldn't try to go trophy hunting.

I would get a tag for a deer somewhere nearby, and literally the first deer that seemed appropriate I would shoot it. I'm not trying to put a trophy on the wall. Frankly, I would rather not have some, like, giant 10-point buck walk by for me to shoot because I'm really just shooting it to put meat in the freezer. I'm not trying to, like, brag to my friends about it. That's one of the great things about spearfishing is that trophy. hunting or the trophy hunting version of spearfishing is not incongruous with just regular spearfishing.

When you shoot a bigger fish, that's just more meat. It's not like it goes on the wall but doesn't taste good because the big ones taste like shit. Like, no, it's just more meat that goes in the freezer. So it kind of lets you, like, you're still trophy hunting. You're looking for the biggest yellow tail you can, but just because you're going to get more meat in the freezer for it. What's the most delicious fish you ever caught? Like when you ate it and you're like, this is the moment. This is the best fish I've ever tasted.

I don't want to say That goes to you too, Forrest. I don't want other people to know about this. What is it? I think I know what Jordan's going to say, but I think mine's going to be different. Honestly, Pacific Amberjack. Yeah, so good. Because everyone's used to the Amberjack over in Florida, and they're just disgusting.

They're not disgusting, but they're not good. Correct. And then on the Pacific side, you get Amberjack, and I was like, oh, they're amberjack. They're shit. Wrong. The ones in the Pacific are completely different, and they're delicious. And they basically taste like Wahoo or something like that. Like, you can eat them raw as pokey.

Like, they're delicious. Damn. But they're really good. Forest, can you explain that? Same species. Tell us, broologists. Tell us. We're all so excited. Yeah. So there's two species of amberjack. There's greater amberjack and Pacific Amberjack, also known as lesser Amberjack. And the greater ones that live on the Gulf of Mexico are, they get bigger, they're heavier, they're full of worms, and for whatever reason, they're fucking yuck. Yeah, they're not, they're not yummy. And their, Their flesh is not nice, but the Pacific Amberjacks, which is what you get at a sushi restaurant when you order Amberjack, I think it's, uh, it's, uh, it's a, it's a, that's the kind you can get at the sushi restaurant because that same animal ranges from here in the Eastern Pacific, where we are, you know, Baja, Panama, that area, all the way over to Japan, that animal is absolutely outstanding and very high quality. And Jordan and I have had the great fortune of going to Panama together, amongst a couple other places, Costa Rica and Mexico, where we've got them before. And I think Jordan's always eyeballing those things wherever he can.

Oh, yeah. Nice. So what's your number one for us? Mine's Wahoo. I absolutely love Wahoo. Where's Wahoo found? Is that also in the Pacific? It's pretty much worldwide.

But in the temperate zone, Pelagic, correct? Remember that word, Peter? No, forgot. What is it again for our listeners? Of course I remember. The type of emu? Yeah, exactly. Jordan, can you take your shirt off, please?

I'm uncomfortable. I thought the attire was locker room casual for these. Come on. Yeah, so that's my favorite. I love Wahoo. I think it's just delicious. And yeah, nice. So yours wasn't a very large grouper in Madagascar?

Oh, boy, we've got to get Mitch to tell that story. He still doesn't believe it was in that cave to this day. No, that was great. So we were on a shoot in Madagascar, extinct or a live shoot, and we had, I wouldn't say an off day because we've literally never had an off day, but maybe an off three hours. And decided to hop in the water with my pulse spear

to try and feed the crew. And sure enough, this massive Malabar grouper went darting into a cave. And Mitch was with me and filming like he always does that fucking nerd. And just following me around with a camera. And I go up on Mitch, there's a big grouper in this cave. And he's like, let me go see. And he dives down. And Mitch is not the best waterman.

He's not terrible, but he's not the best. Yeah. He comes back and says, there's nothing in that cave. Long story short, we go down and look in the cave and I see it. And I let the spear fly. And the spear just goes shooting dark into the cave. and then still, and I come up, and Mitch is like, there's nothing in there. And then all of a sudden, the spear just starts to vibrate and then zoop, just zoops, zips back into

the cave and disappears. And we proceeded to spend the remainder of the four hours digging that thing out of that cave, but it did feed the entire crew after that, and it was awesome. Hey, Jordan, so let's get back to the funny and let's make fun of Forrest some more. If you could try and make him, like, turn red right now in embarrassment, what, what story would you tell about him after knowing him for all these years. Oh, boy. For all of Forrests, like, uh, being a big tough guy and having a giant beard to hide his chinlessness and like all that. He just cannot hold his alcohol at all. Like he will sit there and be like, oh, man, I, what is it?

Retepp said this, like he'll have one white climb, like dude, I had like six white cloths. I'm ripped. I did say that for me recording. So we were on a spear fishing trip down in, uh, Cedros in Mexico. We're on a 50-foot boat with like eight people. And halfway through the dive, like when you do these like seven-day dive trips, you blow your ears out if you dive too much. So there's a couple like built-in days like, hey, no diving this day. Let's all just give our ears a rest because the constant pressure changes hurts them. So we have our rest day and someone goes into town while we're docked and comes back with a bunch of just really shaggy Mexican weed. Oh, boy. He's turning red to get back on the boat. And it's just, so it's just mandatory. We're going to

have some of this terrible Mexican weed because we're all in the middle of nowhere and why not. And so we all get high and we all realize immediately that Forest doesn't know how to be high at all. Correct. Like just not even a little bit. And so we're all just talking having a good time. And finally we realized like, hey, where's Forrest? We look around. And every single item that was loose on the deck of this giant boat is now piled into one corner.

And Forrest is shuffling around with his head down, its hands all T-Rexed and just walking up to anyone to try and take something from him and go collect it into his little hoarding corner to the point where he was trying to take beer bottles out of your hand to go set them on his little trophy pile. I was cleaning up. Were you building a nest? He's building a nest? He's collecting bits of string. Like he was a dog

that would have been sick of grass. I don't know what I was doing. I don't I remember this and I remember my thought process was that I was cleaning up but apparently I was just hoarding from the outside perspective you were building a fucking teradactal nest.

It's That or once again, in Costa Rica, we managed, for his bachelor party, actually. We're in Costa Rica for Forrest's bachelor party. And Forrest is not allowed to say no. So we give him a bunch of alcohol and we make him smoke some weed because it's Costa Rica. And the rest of us being reasonable people like, cool, we're going to sleep now. It's, you know, we're not doing anything. It's five guys in a condo.

We're not going to like, we're not going to party anymore. There's no one else here. We're calling it. And we're like, no, I'm going to go exploring. I'm going to go in the jungle. And we're all just like, cool. This was like 330 anymore. Oh yeah. And I mean, none of us can see straight. And Forrest, we're assuming he's going to fall asleep in the stairwell and we'll just find him in the morning. So Forrest goes off and we all go to sleep. I'm passed out in one room and one of the other guys in the other bed in that room. And however many minutes or hours later, the door gets kicked open and just slams against the wall. And Forrest walks in, shirt off holding a pillowcase with some writhing pissed off creature in it and just goes, you got to come to living room where I'm

release in the mystery bag and then walks out of the room. And Forrest has, since he's a little kid, like all of us, has looked up to Steve Irwin and basically just wanted to be him. So wherever we go, he goes off and catches things and brings them back and tells us about them and then sets them off in the wild,

they've taken a bunch of pictures. So I'm assuming he caught like some special type of turtle or frog or something, because what else can you catch in the Costa Rican jungle at 3 a.m. When you can't walk. And we walk out there, and Forrest, let's loose this pillowcase. And it is a,

you know, me forest a Mexican tree porcupine. Correct. It's horrifically unhappy. How big was this thing? This is probably like a 15-pound animal. Like a regular porcupines? Oh my God, dude.

Are you out of your fucking mind? You released a wild porcupine into a room with four other dudes? Into a rented condo. Into a condo in Costa Rica. Yeah. At which point he could lose victory. Like, all right, that's what I caught. That's the end of it.

We now have a porcupine to deal with. Wait, how does the story end? with the porcupine. Please continue, Jordan. We eventually heard it into a bathroom and then heard it furthermore into the shower and just kept closed it in the shower because none of us are the junior Steve Irwin's,

so we're just like, hopefully he'll wake up and sober up and know how to deal with this because I don't know what to do with an angry porcupine. And that bathroom never smelled the same. Yeah, so they wake me up the next day and he's like, dude, you got to get this porcupine out for a bathroom. I've got to go piss.

So the next day we wake up and I really was not nearly as capable of handling this thing sober as I was completely blacked out and bag up this porcupine back into the pillowcase. And keep in mind, the part of the story that you missed is I actually took, and this part, I shouldn't admit, a golf cart from our condo and caught this thing crossing a freeway. So I, in my mind, thought I was doing it a service by bringing it back, you know, because it was on the freeway. The part of that that doesn't add up is why I was on a freeway hammered at 3 a.m.

In a golf cart. But no, no, that makes perfect sense. No, true story. To what that's perfect sense. Yeah, so the next day we get it out of the bathroom and take it off, because we were in like a hotel, we took it out into the jungle and released it. And it was fine. It was a little shook up.

It was definitely better than it had it been mowed down on the freeway. I'm sure it wasn't expecting a guy to run it down in a golf cart and bring it back to a condo. That's, I mean, I've never heard any bachelor party story like it in my life. I'm sure nobody ever has. You release the wild animal. It's right out of the hangover. Yeah, that's where they got it from.

They got it from fucking Forrest. Actually, that same, no, different trip, but that same thing is how Forrest manages to almost kill all of this. He goes off in the woods in the middle of the night, while we're like, oh, we're going to sleep. And he's like, no, I'm going to go catch stuff. I'm like, okay, dude, like, come on, be normal. We all go to sleep.

And I wake up and there's a jar on the coffee table in the living room. And I'm the early person. So I'm up at like 545. I walk out there. I'm like, I'm going to make my coffee, have some quiet time before the idiots. get up. Oh, what's this, what's this jar? And there's like a cloth on it. So I pulled the cloth off and some rattlesnake just smacked in the glass trying to bite. Wasn't it in the fridge? What the thought? What the thought? No, it was on the coffee table. It ended up in the fridge.

That's right. That's right. We had to release it. We're scared of it because we are in rural ass Mexico. There is no hospital anywhere nearby. If it bites us, we are dead. And Forrest somehow, in the middle of the night, caught it, put it in a jar and left it on the table, like a big Mason jar. Can you explain Forrest why, why putting it in the fridge would be helpful. I can. Um, yes, so, so I remember all of this. Jordan was not very pleased when I woke up after that. Um, oh, I'm finishing the story too. Oh, all right. Continue. Continue. Oh, no, you can explain why we put it in the fridge, but when it came out, it tried to murder me. I just don't want people to think you were putting a snake in the fridge to be mean.

You don't need a broologist to tell you that a snake is cold-blooded and it will slow its metabolism down so it doesn't move. Even I know that. There is no way. Of course I knew that. He just, and I'm that was a quick Googling retic. There's no Googling. I want to hear the rest of this fucking story because this Bachelor party is bonkers. Please continue. He's not wrong. So then we're going to release it because every time we catch something silly like this,

it goes back into the wild. And so, for us like, well, if we're going to release it somewhere, let's put it in a cooler, the jar. The whole jar is going in a cooler with some ice. And we're going to presumably cool this snake down so that it's a little bit more calm because it literally spent the whole morning fully poised to strike rattling and smacking the glass if we were anywhere near it. So we're like, we don't want it to hurt its fang.

so we all just stay out of the living room because of his fucking snake, we finally put it in the cooler with some ice to calm it down and drive it off to let it loose. And so we drive off into the middle of the desert, and we finally open up the cooler, and the jar had opened. And Mr. Snake is floating around in ice water. Not good for cold-blooded animals. Right.

So we grab it, take it out, set it down on the 110-degree sand in the middle of the desert, and we're looking at it. We're just watching this limp snake, like, good God, did we accidentally just kill this thing? and slowly it starts coming back to life. Like, yes. Once again, this was a rescue to be clear. This was inside of Jordan's families.

They have a development down there. And the snake was in the development. So it starts coming back to life. And Forrest being the excited guy he is for wildlife, I'm going to take some really cool photos of it because we got this snake and he's really docile right now because he's half frozen.

I'll take some cool photos. So he sets on the ground, starts propping up photos. And then he's like, hey, Jordan, I need you to get its attention. I want it to be looking at the camera. So he draws a line in the sand and says,

don't cross this line because it can't strike any farther than that. So stay on this side of the line, but like wave your hand at it, get its attention, like smack the ground. Like, okay. And this is like right after college. So I'm 22. I don't know shit about snakes at this point. And so I start waving at it. You still think Forrest's an expert.

I am an honor. He claims to be an expert and says, no, no, you're good. It can't strike this far. So I start waving my hands in front of it. And it gets pretty pissed and it's starting to get back to its usual, you know, coffee table I'm going to eat yourself. And I swing my hand and it strikes. and it comes over the top of my hand, six inches past where the edge of my pinky is,

and lays across the back of my hand, which I immediately rip out from under it, like, oh, my God. And Forrest just looks at me with no apologies, no nothing, and just draws a new line, eight inches farther goes, okay, that line now. Like, it was no big deal, although you definitely almost died because I don't know how far this snake in the first strike.

Oh, my God. Well, with that said, we should probably wrap this up because Forrest obviously tried to kill you several times is not an expert. We've learned much about him from Jordan. And I appreciate all of it because it gives me a lot of fodder to make fun of his big stupid head. What is it with you and my big head lately? It's really ridiculous.

What the fuck are you talking about, tiny head? What are you babbling about? Your head is tiny like a pin. Perfectly. Is it about your head with that there? Yeah. It's really weird. Whoa, getting ganged up on by the three of you.

Perfectly normal size heads all around. They're weird. They're all weird. Well, thank you for coming on the wild times and shitting on me relentlessly for the last 20 minutes. Most enjoyable. And I will see you for our Fourth of July party. You are more than welcome. I can't think of a guy that deserved it more.

See, dude. Hey, guys. What's up? What's up, buddy? Get those hands pattering. I feel something coming. Oh, oh, it's that time. I got, pretty excited about this one.

It's time. For the... Forrest looks so disappointed like I stole his life. You started talking over my thing. I was doing my thing and you took it away from it. All right. So this is one our producer, Will Kellrher came up with. So it's kind of a cool idea.

So the zombie apocalypse is upon us. It's, it's, you know, COVID-20 has come out. And it's turning everyone into bloodthirsty zombies. You got to get out. You can't be in the city. You know, you're going to be dead. So you have to pick, and not a snake draft this time. You just each, we go one at a time.

Okay. You have to pick a location where you're going to hide out to survive the zombie apocalypse. Okay. But instead of living in a house, you're not going to be at the four seasons. You have to pick a type of animal shelter. You know, animals build amazing shelters in the wild. A type of animal shelter, a location. And then just for some fun, one person that it can't be.

your wife or fiancé your girlfriend one person to ride it out with so an animal shelter or location and a human being to spend six months with while the rest of the world burns okay great all right repetep since you know the least about any of this stuff including people

why don't you go first um all right so now is this the okay all right so I'm gonna go with I need to pick a shelter some sort of animal shelter he's already shit I'm on the spot All right. So I love I love fucking honey, right?

I love honey. You love having sex with honey? Or you just like it. Whatever. Whatever. Or you just enjoy it. I like mating with honey. I like wiping it on my face and just eating it and sloshing around in it. So my shelter will be, I will command, that's right, because I can, I'm adding this superpower. I will command an army of bees to build me a honey bees, a giant beehive.

that is big enough to fit me inside of it, and I will go in there and eat honey and hibernate with the bees around me. They do self-quarantine when a virus is introduced into the hive. I'd learn that the other day. So if any viruses were to come, the zombie virus was to get in there, they would be staying far away from me and not spreading it. So I'd be safe in the beehive. And what, a person?

I needed to bring a person in there with me. Well, where do you want the behive to be? What location? Okay, now that you're done with your 11-minute rant to get to the words beehive. We've got to make content, man. We got to fill time. It's also no coincidence that it's your, never mind. I'd be, what?

I look like a bee. No, your mom's hairdo. But anyway. Get off the podcast. It was terrible. All right. So where is this beehive and who's living in it with? My beehive is located inside of a fucking.

cave. That's right. My beehive is inside of a cave that is fucking covered with spider webs at the front so nobody can get in. It's the strongest type of fucking fabric that anybody can, nobody could get in it. Zombies hate spiders fact. Also. And I would definitely take Pat's fiance with me for six months into the beehive. Well, thank you because it sounds like you'll be safe because, you know, no one's getting through those spider webs. All right. So I'll go next. I am going to. I am going to to, I'm going to pretty much right where Forest is. I'm going to Prince William Sound area in Alaska. Now, I'm going to go there for a lot of reasons.

There are tons of Alaskan brown bear. They are huge 1,200 pound bears that stand five feet at the hump. I just don't think the zombies are, they're stupid, right? Zombies. So they're just going to walk right up to the bears to try and eat them. I've got built in protection. I've got a security team. Like this.

To make matters better. for me and my survival. I am going to live in the largest nest ever discovered of any bird. It was a pair of mating bald eagles that was discovered in St. Petersburg, Florida. They had a nest that was 10 feet wide. Wow. And 20 feet deep.

Right? So it's basically like a giant salad bowl. I'm going to get out of there when you need to get it. What if a zombie falls in? What if one falls in? No way. be way up at a tree. Zombies cannot climb trees.

Fact. So I'm going to get up there. I'm going to be super cozy. Who you bring him with? Who do you think? Bobby Flee. Yeah. Oh, no, for real. Is it Bobby Flee? Yeah. He's, look, he's funny. He's sarcastic. I feel like, you know,

I'll collect a bunch of grub worms and various things for him, and he will make us a stir fry, like you wouldn't believe. There you go. To recap, Peters has like 14 different elements to it. That's right. Ultimately, it's a beehive with spiderwebs, Pat's fiance, and it's in a cave, but we don't know what country or location. Correct. Yeah. That's part of the, that's part of my protection plan. Yeah, you don't even know where it is. Yeah. And Patrick, you've got a bald eagle nask. A nesque huge in the Prince William Sound. Huge. Yep. And you guys are, you guys are frying up bald eagle omelets with Bobby Flay on the reg. Exactly. No pun intended.

Got it. Right. Nice. Exactly. Nice. So I am going to go to Palau, Micronesia, which is probably my favorite place I've ever been, tiny island nation where all zombies would have to swim to, or if they happen to occur there, I would fight them because it is a small island, and there could only be so many of them. And in Palau, there is incredible waterfalls, freshwater, tons of food and fish to hunt and and eat and cool things. And I would live on this tiny island, tropical island nation, castaway style, in another nest, and I think this is far enough that it plays. It's the nest of the Baya Weaverbird, which is this crazy funneling kind of woven construction that has this big soft-looking hammock part to it that I could sleep in. And let's see, in my Weaverbird nest in Palau Micronesia,

I would have with me... By the way, I'm looking at the bio-weaver bird nest. It looks like something that a bunch of hipsters would sell on Etsy to hang up in your kitchen. It's beautiful. It really does. Yeah, and so comfortable looking. It's cozy shit.

Good for you. Thank you. I'm going to... I am going to enjoy the zombie apocalypse side by side with none other than the one and only. Damn it, I still haven't figured out who I'm going to pick. Bobby Flake is I'm thinking about trading him. Can I trade? No, no. You keep Bobby. I always go really practical

but in this case I'm thinking entertainment value. So I want someone who's just going to keep me yucking it up. And I think that person, nope, you're weird. I think it'd be Adam Sandler. I just feel like he would make me laugh the whole time. Like he could just do his Jack and Jill shit and one day he's a guy, the next day he's a girl, he'd be funny.

He might be a little depressive sometimes but overall he's just going to lighten the Mood. Fucking terrible. That's awful. What are you talking about? What are you going to put a quarter in him like as a jukebox? And he's just like, you don't think he's going to be grim at all fucking laying in a

Reber Nest with you? No, I think he's going to be great. And when we get done with zombie apocalypse, I'm going to be famous because he's going to make a straight to Netflix movie about our survival of living in a weaver bird nest on an island in Micronesia. That's a fact. Totally done. That's true. I feel like he would be pretty fun. Like you'd just be like, yeah, look, I know we're hungry and, you know, we're getting roasted.

by the sun, but, you know, Adam, let's hang in there. And he'd just be like, shababadoo. You know, it's going to be real fun, though, is Pat's fiancee and my beehive, do you know what I mean? You're a, you're a bad person. He is a crazy. What? What are you mean? What are you talking about? I just meant we're going to

fucking be eating honey and sleeping on honey pillows and playing with the bees and shit. It's going to be fantastic. All right. Well, anyway, go to honeypillows.org to vote for whoever you... Well, that sounds good. You can always visit honeypillows.org to vote for Peter Retepps.

If you'd like to vote for anybody else's, check us out on iTunes. Let us know whose Battle Royale is the best. If you'd like to live in Peter's hive cave, Patrick's Eagle Nest with Bobby Flay, or hang out with me, the very funny Adam Sandler, in a weaver bird nest in Micronesia.

Let us know. Do it on iTunes. do it on our social media at the Wild Times pod. Hit us up. Guys, I got a jet. I'm going to go back out to doing what I do here in Alaska, chasing some animals around under the ice, getting cold. It's been nice to warm up and have a few yucks with you a lot.

And this is the Wild Times. Real quick, before you go, also on YouTube now where you can comment and interact with the videos that are being posted of each podcast. So go there too. People are happy about that, loving the fact that they can engage there. It's fun.

Now get the fuck on. YouTube? Yeah, I didn't know. We get a YouTube? When do we get a YouTube? Dude, I'm doing things behind the scenes you don't even know about. I'm famous now.

All right. I'm out of here. Bye, guys. Bye, man. Love you guys. Bye. Love you. Listeners.

Hate you too.