Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Shark Found in Lake in California - The Wild Times Ep. 118

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

This week we discuss a shark found in a lake in California, Pocho the Crocodile, Frosty the Orca, and some little annoys. LFG! Subscribe to The Wild Times Podcast on YouTube ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Get YouTube Membership Perks ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVl7fHhUOpFK8Mpv-6DdoOg/join Get Up To 4 Bonus Podcasts Per Month ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod Watch More Episodes Here ▶▶ https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP... Visit https://thewildtimespodcast.com/ now! Join The Wild Times Discord Server: https://discord.gg/EkUWebe2 Get your Wild Times Podcast merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Leave a review on iTunes Apple Podcast: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/itune... Follow The Wild Times Podcast on socials: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildtimespod/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespod Twitter: https://twitter.com/WildTimesPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/ Listen to The Wild Times Podcast on: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cbFBzf... Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Google: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0... Anchor.fm: https://anchor.fm/wildtimespod/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Enjoy, brosteners! TWT 118 - The Breakdown 00:00 - Intro 01:30 - Leopard Shark in A Lake 05:30 - Lemon Sharks Are Shitty 13:30 - Pocho the Crocodile 18:20 - Elephant Seals Sleep While Diving 21:30 - LFG Brah 23:55 - Frosty the Orca 29:30 - Grossness 32:40 - Sad Animal Movies34:30 - Little Annoys45:54 - Wedding Speeches48:00 - Battle Royale Jingles made by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-tire/#podcast #wildtimespod

Wild Times Dancing Queen That didn't really go with the tune I was hearing. Woo! Here we go. He does not know the song. Episode number 118 of the Wild Times podcast. The only podcast that Joe Rogan himself says he listens to every episode. Woo!

Love that. Fact. Not made up. Hello, Joe. I am your host, Forrest Galante, the Broologist, joining me, sipping on delicious, carbon neutral fat tire beers. Low impact.

Low impact. High quality. Big impact coming out of this guy right here, though. This is the professor PhD. Podcasting. Mr. Peter. If you haven't seen this podcast yet, you know, I feel like a lot of you know me better than I know myself

being podcast number one, whatever. We're on. And yeah, I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to be in this garage. We're in a garage today. We'll talk about why. It's great. That's why.

We're in the garage. I like it at all. I got to say. Okay. Yeah. And as always, the producer himself, Papa Pee. How are you? Good.

My entire family's right on the other end of this very thin wall. Yes. Can hear what's going on in there. Fuck. But, no, it's nice. This is great. Doing it in my house for a change. It's really nice.

It did take us half a day to get ready to do it. It was fun, though. We were drinking gin and tonics. Forest, we got to get right into it. what's in the news. What's in the news? Look, I don't know. I'm not a shark guy.

I haven't done six Shark Week specials. Have you? Only the highest rated ones, yeah. Okay, so you're qualified to talk about this shark situation. All right, Shark Sitch. Tell me not to be terrified.

Don't be terrified. But first, tell me more. A rare shark, known to be a saltwater animal. Okay. has been found in a lake in California. Not supposed to be there. Not supposed to be there.

In California. Yes, sir. Okay. In the city of Oakland. In a man-made pond in the middle. Oh, see, now this is interesting. If you said, oh, there's a bull shark on a golf course in Florida. I was about to come over there and backhand you.

I know that bull sharks hang out in the rivers. I get it. This is not a bull shark in a river, man. What's going on here? A leopard shark. Interesting. Is swimming around. in Lake Merritt in

in fucking Oakland. Now I understand that Lake Merritt's a bit of like a tidal lagoon. So it could be a little brackish, little bracky, which means there's some saltwater intrusion into the freshwater. Oh, look at that. Should a leopard shark be in a lake?

Well, it's interesting. So these leopard sharks, they're amazing animals. They get up to like five feet long. They're beautiful. They're spotted. They're totally harmless. So you don't need to be scared of anything. Okay.

However, I've certainly never heard of one. being in a lake. Now, they do, they go into estuaries a lot. You know, Mark Romanov and I have filmed them in these big congregations, but always in pure salt water, always in, like, at the mouth of an estuary, you know, where they're in the ocean. So for one to be in a lake in downtown Oakland, pretty interesting, because they definitely go into the bay, you know, into the San Francisco Bay. That's a nice big estuary. But to go from there into Lake Merritt, that's pretty fascinating. Do you think,

it says they can get up to seven feet, by the way. There you go. Does it have the, Kyle, can you look up the salinity of Lake Merritt? That's what I was,

I was going to ask, so do you think, uh, will it survive in here? Or will it need to be moved back into a saltier environment, potentially? Well, if the animals put itself in there,

it's probably, you know, it's not going to go somewhere that it will die in. Well, no, that happens. But like, it wouldn't be swimming head first into an area that it was

slowly, suffocating, asphyxating itself, right? Sure. Or whatever, or having a problem with salt secretion. So I'm curious what the salinity of Lake Merit is. I'm not going to lie. I've never heard of Lake Merit before right now. You can't know everything. Jesus. You can't know

everything. No, I've never even heard of it. I've used to sort of live up there, too, and I don't know much about it. But it doesn't say necessarily the salinity level or percentage, but it does say that, yeah, it is brackish and... Okay. See, well, this is a little sensationalized. Because if it's brackish water and it's a lagoon that's directly connected to the San Francisco Bay,

odds are there's probably dozens and dozens of leopard sharks traveling into Lake Merit this time of year. It's just, we've seen one now. So it's a, okay, it's a shark that gets up to seven feet. Does it have teeth? Does. Completely harmless, though? Completely harmless. It's not going to take a little nip of a toddler. I mean, if you stick your fingers in its mouth, it's not going to be good.

Well, a kid might do that. This is a popular picnic spot. Kyle, type in, uh, that's true. type in a leopard shark congregation Catalina. Try that. Check this out. These sharks are amazing. We've filmed them in these big congregations a few times and it's really, really cool to see it, especially from a drone because they'll all come together and hang out. Yeah, let's go on an image here and hang out in these bays. Like the second image over, yeah, there you go. That one right there, Kyle. You get

these masses. Oh yeah, go down underneath. That one on the right. Look at that. Oh, wow. And that's, regular. Like, I could take you to a spot right now by my house in Santa Barbara that looks like that today. Interesting. Yeah. Um, and my understanding of, of a leopard shark is that it was a a lemon shark and a leopard that made it. That's right. That's exactly right. Yeah, it is pure leopard, pure cat leopard, not leopard shark. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mixed with a lemon shark. Correct. Or, or, I could be mixed, mistaken that, it could be mixed with a shark mixed with a lemon, the fruit. That's, I, I, I remember when we were in the Bahamas,

filming and you were producing and we were getting some slick in the water this was not for a shark week we used some chum for a history channel show that nobody saw and uh I just remember the lemon sharks because we had a ton of reef sharks

that Kate would always come in first and then you'd get a few of the lemons and they were a little bit bigger than the reef sharks and they just seemed sneaky to me they're um like they seemed like they were maybe like ready to bite you I've been bitten by sharks twice. That's one of the scars is there and the other one's on my foot.

Both times lemon sharks. A little sneaky, huh? Yeah, they're kind of shitty. You just said they wouldn't bite you. No, the leopard shark. I'm talking about lemons now. There's two words that start with L. I have a great picture of me with a lemon shark from Australia where you can really see where the name comes from.

I'd love to. Of a lemon shark? Yeah. Where does the name come from? Where they smell like lemons? Have you seen a lemon shark? You know what we're talking about? Don't pull it up.

No, I've never. They're not a scratch and sniff shark. be right back. Do you have one with you? Where are you going? He brought a lemon shark with him? Is it in the... I have a lemon tree in my backyard.

Oh, dude, go get us some limbs. Yeah. Maybe that's where he's going. Well, we'll see. But picture this. You're there. You got your kid. Yeah.

You're kind of playing in the shallows. Yep. Splashing them around. Sure. Look up seven foot long shark in the lake. No, I mean, I... It's a skinny little... It's not a little...

It's not a big, pulky 7 foot pump shark. It's like a slender, pretty tickle-mee shark. Like the tickle-me-elmo of sharks. You can't take anything he says, like, without a great assault. He's been bitten twice.

That's what I'm saying. Like, you know, he's just like, ah, it's nothing. Well, he has no amygdala, first of all. So things to him that would, that normal people would fear, obviously are just. Oh, come on.

Dude, if my toddler was in the water with a seven-foot shark, I would immediately beeline it to the lifeguard tower and tell on the shark. Tell on the shark. Well, you would put the kid in closer to the shark and run. I would run with the kid on my back. So that the point of contact.

Yeah. See, I'm not joking. I would do the opposite. If I saw a seven foot lemon shark or leopard shark, not lemon shark, leopard shark cruising around a bay, I would pick my kid up, run at the shark and put him down with the shark to interact with it. Well, you're also the guy that when getting pulled over by a cop pinched your kid on the legs. I thought we didn't say that on the public. Pod. That was a private pod thing. Never mind. No edit. Refused to edit that. That's fine. Did you send Kyle a pick?

Yeah. Did you get it, Kyle? Yeah, he's pulling it up. Yeah, but back to the lemon sharks for a second. So all these like white sharks, tiger sharks, bull sharks, all these like top 10 predator sharks, like oceanic white tips, everything else. Lemon sharks twice have gotten me. They are sneaky. They're shitty. They're like Michael Dornelis, RIP, remember Mike? Yeah. Yeah. He's, He passed away, but he was diving at Tiger Beach, he had a bait crate in front of him, like working the tiger sharks and everything. All of a sudden, whole butt cheek, bam.

Lemon Shark comes up, bites his whole butt cheek. He pulled his pants down on that last shark we were ever on and showed us because we were like, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, shark bites scars on the butt cheek. And it picked him up and moved him, he told us. I actually grabbed him and, like, moved him a few feet and let go. Dude, I'm, I'm shocked right now because,

Pat was asking you if these are a safe shark to enter the water. You said, yes, you're again, you're confusing leopard and lemon. Second time. I'm sorry. I understand why. They're both have elves. I do. We haven't looked at like pictures of them.

All right. This is the lemon truck. This is in Australia. And it's interesting because the golden jacks also give you that contrasty color. But you see how yellow he is? Like, zoom in a little, Kyle. Can you see like that yellowish skin that he has? This is the complexion of them.

It's a really cool picture. There's quite a bit of force perspective there, right? Yeah, I'm like three feet behind him. Gotcha. Yeah, he's not nine feet long or anything. He's just a standard like seven. But the difference between a seven foot lemon shark, like look at the girth and the bulk and the big pectoral fins. I was going to say, yeah.

That's a big shark. A seven foot lemon shark probably weighs 250, 300 pounds. A seven foot leopard shark probably weighs 40 pounds. Wow. Yeah, it's a big difference. Like, yeah, they're a long, skinny shark, the leopard. That's really, really small. 40 pounds, seven feet, like a little broomstick.

Yeah, they're like this bigger out. They're not. It's funny, the difference between a four-foot shark and a six-foot shark doesn't sound like a huge. It's a 50% difference, right? It doesn't sound that crazy. Right. But when you're looking at them, just something tells you that the four-footers, even if there's eight of them around you, it's not that big of a deal. Yeah.

And the six-foot, it just is drastically different. Well, it's the same with humans. Look at a four foot tall human next to a six foot tall human. That's a excellent point. You're like fighting a kindergartner versus a grown new left centroo. It's the most noticeable with like crocodiles. Like if you see a 14 foot crocodile, you're like, wow, that's a big crock. And then if you see a 15 foot crocodile, it probably weighs 600 pounds, 500 pounds more than the 14th.

The amount of like girth and like width and head dimension and everything that increases in that like, six inches or a foot or whatever is so exponentially more than just like the length. Dude, I'm not, I'm not like forced and like I'm very cautious. Right. I know. In these situations. I'm, I'm, I'm eager. Risk averse.

But like when we were at Gillette's place, Chris Gillette's place in Florida, and there was just this one sneaky gator that just, I was his target for the day. Yeah. Right. And, you know, we're surrounded by all of them. There's just this one. And he just wanted me. It's like, uh, on Mario, you,

You explained it like it's on Mario 3 when you turn around and the ghost starts coming at you and you turn back around and you look at him and he stops. He stops. The Gator was just doing that to you all day. All day. So I had to just maintain eye contact with this little four foot fucking Gator all day long because he just had my number. And there was nothing I could do. He wanted only me. Yeah.

I don't know what it was. Forrest is probably going to call bullshit on that. But he really pestered me most of the day. I believe it. I don't really remember it. But I believe it. Because he was four feet long. just like even as a meagerman

it didn't like trigger like a fear response yeah I was just like yo stop sure we should versus if he was six feet I know he's a good like he's just so knowledgeable dumbest shit with gators that isn't dumb because he never gets hurt but like yeah just such a cool guy also just what a specimen

is he is he he's like six five insanely ripped and jacked completely no he can't he's not coming on that far but I saw a There's Chris with Casper. I saw a recent video, and I don't know if you could pull it up, Kyle. It might be tough to find. I think it was on Reddit, but there's this guy who has a pet crocodile that he cuddles with.

You probably find it under those keywords. It's probably Chris Gillette. It's ludicrous, bro. Is he a handsome fellow with a six-pack? Well, you can't, you only mostly see. Six-pack of fat, tar, son. The crocodile comes up and snuggles him on the side of the bed, comes right up. He's like petting it.

Oh, no, that wouldn't be Chris. And I'm thinking, like, this is one animal that Forrest has said, is like not, we'll never be able to adapt. It's definitely very well fed. We've gone so far from what's in the news. We'll come back to it. But there was the one of the best stories I've ever seen is the guy in Costa Rica who lives on the Rio Tarkalquez, who had this crocodile pitch up, Kyle, this will pop up easily.

I forget his, I can't remember the guy. It'll come up for sure. The guy has this crocodile show up in his like pond, in his like fish pond. and he lives along this river that's notably full of crocodiles. And the crocodile has been shot in the head by a poacher and healed up. And you're going to laugh, but it's fucking smash the crox amygdala and falls in love with this guy. And this guy goes swimming and plays with it. And this is like a 15 foot long American crocodile made to eat people.

Wow. This guy cuddles it, puts his fingers in its mouth, everything. And the croc lives with him for like, I don't know, 12, 15 years and then passes a little. way. Dude. This guy. Have you ever seen this? I have not.

Oh my God. Look at this. Look at this. That crocodile's alive. Look he's got his feet inside of it. Dude. Look at how big that thing is. Go to that Esquire one, Kyle, the second photo over.

Nobody can do that with a crocodile anywhere in the world, period. By the way, that's not a thing. You don't rest your head. So you got brain, you got brain damage. Brain damage. Yeah. Like the from, yeah, he used to do all these things. That's not an alligator.

Like, I don't think people understand enough the difference between an alligator and crocodile and then an alligator you can sort of manipulate them a little bit because they're fish eaters they're not really after people whatever they're not very aggressive by nature yeah this is a crocodile this is a killing machine 250 million this is like this is like the rabbit and the cheetah making best friends you know what i mean yeah yeah like this is the food source playing with him like look at him he's cuddled up on every picture it's incredible very cute by the way i really do want to cuddle a crocodile look at the little teeth hanging over yeah that does give it a cute fun fact I did read, they can go through thousands of teeth in their lifetime.

Yeah. And they can replace each tooth up to 60 times, I believe it was throughout their life. Man, imagine if you didn't have to go through all that dentals. Yeah. That headline. A local fisherman in Costa Rica nursed a crocodile back to health after it has been shot in the head and released the reptile back to its home. The next day, the man discovered Paco had followed him home and was sleeping on the man's porch.

Wow. For 20 years, Paco became part of the man's family. Oh yeah, that was the other part. He, like, raised his kids with the crocodile and everything. Dude, I love this story. Look at that one. Look at the one where he fucking rolled it over. That is the vulnerable area of a crocodile.

A crocodile will not let you roll it over. That's its only vulnerable areas, the soft skin on its belly. That's why they're always glued to the ground in every scenario, underwater otherwise. Right. This guy's rolling it over and tickling its belly. This crocodile has pure and complete trust him. Hey, guys, if you're enjoying...

Whoops. Guys, if you like the watch. Wild Times. Check us out on Patreon. We put out four extra podcasts per month. That's one commute a week that you're just going to be laughing and learning the whole time in the car. I don't know. I do. Do something else. This is the late night content and stuff that we can't show on YouTube because they'll kick us off YouTube. It's the cinemax of podcasts. Uncensored, raw dog. It's the cinemax of podcasts. Check it out. Link, right,

here what was the um i remember studying in psych 101 my freshman year in college that there was they had studied this guy who was a rail a railroad worker who got a railroad tight went through his head and it went through his brain and i don't remember what part of his brain it it hit but it you know it's a thin little railroad tire like this and it just took out a very specific part of his brain he lived but the big thing that happened to him was not, you know, he didn't have any handicaps or just, you know,

whatever. It was that he, his personality completely changed. I can't remember what the part of the brain is, but it was the empathy center of the brain. Okay. And he literally just became a fucking prick. Well,

that's like, that's like kind of like what CTE does. I mean, more to a harsher degree, you know, getting hit in the head a bunch of times, totally changes your personality. Yeah,

because you kind of forget. that you just, you're a brain that's just encased in this vessel that moves it around. Right. For real. Right. And like everything you think is you is actually just this thing that's the size of a grapefruit. Yeah, but I mean, is it? Pretty much.

I don't know. I think when we die, you go into the ether. You think you're gone? You think it's dark? You think it's black, dead, gone? Don't know. Don't think about it. That's what the fat tires for.

Yeah. From being honest. Refraction, by the way. Back to what's in the news. What's in the news? This is a well-known story. The elephant seal's sleep while diving. Do you guys know about this?

You know what an elephant seal is, right? California. Is that super cool? I actually do know. You do? Yeah, I do. But how do they sleep while they're diving? So they will, and I should probably read this before I actually talking about it,

but they will be on the surface, need to take a nap, so they'll fall asleep while holding their breath, and they'll lock their fins in a way where they slowly spiral as they sink. Oh, together? No, no, no, no, just an individual. Oh, got you. So they'll have their fins like this or like that or whatever. So that they're not just like straight down. And they're slowly spiraling down.

And they will sleep as they sink a thousand plus feet to the bottom. And then they'll hit the bottom, wake up and swim back up. It's like an alarm clock. And take another nap. And then just. Insane. So it's something they do so that they go deeper than most of their predators. Oh, I don't know.

I'm not sure about the predation side of it. I read this article. Yeah, that's what it was suggesting. is that it's probably, they go deep to take these naps. Yeah. So that they're below where their predators hang out while they're vulnerable and sleeping. Right. And then they come back up.

It's not interesting. What an adaptation. No other, like, sea mammal. They're sea mammals, correct? They're mammals. They don't, they don't, they don't do this behavior. Um, I don't know of any others that do that. I only know of these guys doing this big spirally.

Oh, wow, this is a cool graphic. So look at this. So he's sleeping. here he is at 205 meters and see the spiral thing I was talking about and so they slowly, they're in the state of REM sleep and they're just literally imagine sleeping while free falling.

It sounds pleasant. And not breathing. And not breathing, yeah. It really does. Can you imagine how peaceful it is? Oh, God, yeah. It's like being in a, like I fall asleep in the car immediately no matter what. So it's like being in the car, but also like silent, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're underwater.

Yeah, it's like what a water bed was supposed to be. You know what a mammalian, uh, behavior, water mammal behavior I like the best is the... Dolphin. No, the sea otter. Dolphin. Who hold hands

and just float on their backs while they sleep. So that they don't float away from one other. I thought he just wanted to hold hand. You want to hold hands? No, now that I know it's clammy. It's pretty clammy. It's not terrible.

It's at least warm. Well, his hand... You got the beer hand. His hand matches my clamness. Yeah, gotcha. All right. So, dude, sea otters. Let's just talk about them. They're the cutest creature.

on earth. A little rape monkeys. They hold hands while they float so that they don't float away from each other while they sleep. Yeah. They also carry their favorite rock called rafting in a little. And then they carry their favorite rock in their armpit pouch so that they can bang open mollusks with it. It's their favorite rock.

It's pronounced mollusk. I'm just saying, I love these animals. I saw that they rape each other. Well, ducks gang bang each other. Yeah. I mean, the animal world is. I'm supposed to say GB. GB.

Yeah. I will admit, Forrest on our group chat, WhatsApp technology. Yep. Welcome to the 20th century. Said LFG. And I asked my wife, I said, do you know what LFG mean? She said, no. So I googled it.

Apparently, let's fucking go. That's what it means. It's like a broie, like let's fucking go. And so then she likes to be a little more hip, you know. So she asked him a. were younger coworkers. Like, should I have known what LFG means? And they were like, no, like, only like real, like, frat bro types say that.

Shut up. Oh, I was a true. Yeah. Swear to God. I believe it. I was, I was just going to say. And I was like, oh, it makes sense. I was like, here was what I thought.

Yeah. I know you coach rugby and it's a bunch of young guys. Correct. And I was like, it's probably in his rugby group chat. They're constantly writing LFG. Well, so Forrest is one of our, yeah. That's exactly what is. And with my guy I work out with.

Dude, this is the problem. Forrest is right at the age where he's still hip to the lingo, but he's too old to be using it because it's uncool the second you start using it. I mean, that's what it is. You'll come to terms with it in a year or two. No, I'm gripping on to that youth. Dude, we got a lot of young brosters and one of them... Actually, can I interrupt for a second?

Hold on, let me just finish this real quick. A lot of young broosters, and one of them hit me up one time, and he goes, dude, you got to stop using the roll laugh emoji. Like it makes you sound so old. And he's like, only old people use that anymore. Nobody uses it. What, like ROTFL or whatever? No, no, the emoji that's tilted with the cry laugh.

That's like your standard. If you type, ha ha, that's what pops up. We're way out of it. That's like what losers who are on Facebook do now. It's not, we're not. Whoa, I did not know this. Yes, we all do it constantly. I'm telling you.

Kyle, is this true? You're younger than all of us, substantially. That is news to me. All right. Kyle's not really in the scene, man. Dude. LFG, Kyle.

Come on. Okay. Dork. I did see one thing. I love you, Kyle. Yeah. Or did you have something you want? No, I just want the Brosters to comment and say, is LFG like a dushy frat boy thing to say, or is it like pretty sweet?

Okay. Yeah. Is it pretty swat? Is it sweet? I'm actually quite curious to hear the poll results. Did you know what LFG was when I typed? Of course not. I thought it was some type of acronym for a business.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You're like, I thought it was LLC, but I could be wrong. Yeah. I filed it nonetheless. It's on all my taxes. Guys, we have an LFG now. All right. Off the coast of California.

Oh. So this, this piqued my interest for two reasons. Okay. Killer whale spotted. Yep. Off the coast of Cali. Always nice.

Newport Beach, in fact. So that's LFG territory. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucking go. That's great. That's Graber territory.

Sorry. First of all, didn't really know that we had orcas down in Orange County. Didn't know that. Oh, wait. So this isn't an anomaly? No. No, we got a memory of year. But the fact that it was pure white.

Oh, wow. Right? Isn't that what it's called? It's got a name. Frosty. Frosty, the orca. A three-year-old orca, pure white hanging out in Newport Beach. How cool is that?

Total anomaly, too. Wow, look at this. Total albino. Yeah. dude and with another orca too oh yeah it's it's it's that's the cough the snowy snowy right frosty frosty frosty is one of those two orcas cuffs that they're part of a transient pod um that arguably is one of the biggest so probably the biggest celebrity killer whale outside of maybe port and starboard the two to kill all the sharks um in the world is this this this this orca i've

obviously never seen it most people haven't but yeah what a dream that would be yeah just popped up incredible do you want to see you want to see you want to see you something insane. It's along this vein, but it's different. Kyle, go to Instagram. Go to my buddy Austin Derry. Instagram. Okay. I'm going to, one day, it's D-E-R-R-R-Y. I'm going to fight Austin one of these days. Okay. Austin, if you're listening, I'm going to fight you. And I'll tell you why. Because he keeps, yeah, he keeps finding, this is the third year in a row, third picture over. Know what that C-monster is? Uh, I do. That's a, uh, that's the thing that you were looking for in of Alaska, right?

No, no, it's a shark. What is that? It's a basking shark. In California. This fucker, two or three years in a row, and Austin's my buddy, so I can talk negatively like this about him. That's two or three years in a row, he's found and filmed basking sharks in California. 25 foot long shark.

Super rare. In our waters? Yeah. Super rare. Like, way rarer than Frosty the Orca. And, yeah, he sent me the pictures before he posted it and stuff. There might even be a video coffee X out or don't really remember. Tell us a little bit about this shark, because I've never heard of it.

So it's the second largest fish in the world. You know what the largest fish in the world is? Whale shark. Very good. Whale shark. Yeah. I knew you knew it, by the way. It's the second largest fish in the world next to the whale shark, and it's another plankton-eating shark.

But unlike the tropical whale shark, it's sort of its cold water cousin. Okay. And, you know, 25-foot long filter feeder. Right. Kyle, maybe you can actually scroll over one. Does he have a picture of its jaws opened up? Really cool. No, within the Biking shark picture?

It's really cool when they feed. They open their mouths. And they run water through those gillslets that you can see there. Yeah. Just type in Basking Shark Feeding, Kyle. And yeah, they filter feed all this plankton and krill. And so my buddy Austin is out looking for tuna. This is what they do.

Look at that. Wow. How cool is that. Look at that mouth. Look at that mouth. Oh, I want to see one so badly. And, yeah, so in Scotland, where this video is taken, they're super prevalent. They find them every year.

But to see it in California is just an absolute dream come true. inside is like looking at the skeleton of the inside of the animal. Isn't that insane? That's incredible. Yeah, 25 foot long, this gray shark. What's interesting is they're very often confused. I actually have a story where I think I saw one of these, which I could tell if you'd like, but yeah, why not? Looking inside their mouth, yeah, I mean, just look at it. It's just like an alien. Is that bones that we see? It's cartilage. It's cartilage. But it looks like a rib cage of cartilage. Yeah, yeah, an incredibly tough

cartilage. It's a tough life this thing lives because the basking. This way of eating is no fun. No. Like imagine you never get to just take a nice big bite of a cheeseburger and chew it.

No. But instead you just ate crumbs nonstop throughout the day. Yeah, you're just licking crumbs. Like, like, that's it. You just have a bowl of crumbs and you go, this is my 2,000 calories. And you just,

no, it's not even a bowl of crumbs. Imagine your tongue is just on the floor all day repeatedly. You're picking up any crumbs you can. No fun at all. What's the other, is it a whale or a shark? Is it the gray whale, the humpback, where they come up to the surface, the water, and basically do the same thing. They open the mouth like that.

Blue whales, lunch feeding. And then, so they eat the same way. It's just like horizontal or vertical. Yeah, I mean, it's called lunch feeding. So they open their mouth out and lunge towards krill or small bait fish or whatever. Okay. What a bore, man. Yeah.

Yeah, it's an unpleasant way. I bet the lighting is bad. in there too. Yeah, because I found out the other day that cats can't taste, they don't have sweet receptors, they can't taste sugar. Oh, I didn't know that. And it's like every time I look at my cat now, I'm like, man, you're never going to experience that.

So if you feed Lemley a Skiddle, nothing? Well, it might taste the sour, but it will not taste sweet. They don't sense sugar. I feel like they never eat that. No, they're not going to eat it. No, they want meat. You should put sugar in your cat's milk and see what happens. I just want to clarify something.

He eats cats. Outside of cartoons from the 50s, no one gives their cat a bowl of milk. You open a can of fucking meat-based cat food that's smeared in Gillette. I don't know the finer points of cat ownership, apparently. A bowl of milk. So one of the brosters hit me up.

And I enjoyed his question. Okay. And so I decided to actually do the research required to answer the question. Oh, very nice. Wow. David Michael 22 said, Hey, bro, deuce her, dumb question.

My cat loves. licking and cleaning my dog's ears. Does my cat see my dog's a member of her pride? Also wondering if Lemley does the same thing. So I was like, that's interesting because my cat licks my dog's ears a lot. Does she? Yeah, just the ears, right? Doesn't seem to really love the dog or give a shit about it outside of licking the ears.

So I looked it up. It's gross. I want to hear it. They like the taste of it, don't they? They like the earwax. They can smell the earwax, and they can smell the earwax, and they, desperately, desperately love the taste of earwax and smell of it. And so they're after little earwax gobs.

Yuck. That's horrifying, dude. But I will say it keeps your dog's ears clean, so that's nice. Woof. Man, I have such a thing about, like, so, okay, earwax doesn't bother me. I'll scrape my dog's earwax out of his ear with my fingernail. Do you eat it? Of course.

No, I don't. I don't. But if you ask me to put. pop a zit or get your earwax out or anything, I, my, like, half will stand up and I want to punch you immediately. Yeah. Like, I just hate, human bodily fluids to me are the most disgusting thing. There's nothing more gross than that.

You've seen me, Patrick. I'll find roadkill and gut it and be like, oh, we're using this for bait and I'm covered in blood, and I'm, like, then stuffing my face with a cheeseburger while there's fur and guts and shit all over my hands and stuff. No problem. Yeah. If my three-year-old son, like, dribbles a little pee-pee, I, on my hands, I like push him off a cliff.

I'm like, I'm done with you, I'm washing my hands, go to your mother, leave me alone. That's weird. It is weird, but I've got like a thing about human bodily fluids. Yeah, I mean, I get it. There's a weird thing about- I mean, you probably should. It can transmit disease. Well, but I mean, I feel like the roadkill would be more likely to transmit disease

than a little pee-pee from- Probably. But I mean, it is kind of a weird thing. Like, I dislike more humans than I, like, then I dislike animals. Like, animals can do no wrong. It's, or like anything in that realm. Dude, I got to tell you guys a story. So, so.

LFG, bro. Yeah, let's fucking go. This is very related, but also not at all related to what we were just talking about. So yesterday, I was stuck down in Santa Ana area, getting my truck worked on. Okay, I had nothing to do for 10 hours. Called the grave babe, graver. He lives down there. And I was like, hey, come meet me in Fullerton.

We'll hang out. We went and got food. and then we decided to go and see a movie. Okay, we decided to go see Guardians of the Galaxy 3 in 4DX. Oh, that's cool. Two parts of the story. Have you ever heard of 4DX? Uh, is it where the chair shake and they spray water and shit?

Just what I'm telling you? Cool. Yeah, yeah. They fucking chair shake. They blast you in the face with like air. You like buckle in. It's like a whole thing. And 3D?

No, no 3D. Thank God. I would have puked. But like incredible sound too. Yeah, crazy sound and like, you know, somebody gets punched in the face and then they like blast air that way. And you're like, whoa. Like, it's a lot. going on. It's exhausting. But, but everybody's going to laugh at me here. When I watched the notebook

and the notebook ended, I laughed because I was like, ha-ha, idiots. When the CGI animals got tortured in Guardians of the Galaxy 3, I had to do everything in my power to not cry at a CGI animated movie. I swear. No, I'm with you. I'm not kidding, man. So like in Guardians of Galaxy 3, there's no spoilers here. It's rocket raccoons. backstory. He's the little raccoon in the ensemble cast, right? And it's like how he became like a humanized superhero. Yeah.

And it's through like animal torture basically, this guy, the creator or something evolutionary or something like fiddles with these animals. And a big part of it is him like torturing baby animals to make them perfect. And it's all CGI. Children's movie? Of course and it's fucking awful. It's all CGI

there's nothing. You don't even see one shot of a real fucking raccoon. And I'm like don't do that to the a rocket, you know, it's like so fucking tear jerky. Dude, I cannot, I cannot, I cannot make it past the part you all know it in The Lion King where, uh, you know, you know what happens with scar. Yeah, I cannot make it past like that part. I try and I'm just like, not like, why am I putting myself through this?

I'm turning this movie off. Like, I'm not even fast-foring it because then I know what happened. Like, it's so sad for like the next 20 minutes of the movie. And it's not even 4D CGI. It's a drawing. Yeah, like a bad two-dimensional graphic. Yeah. Hey, brosters, thank you for being loyal subscribers.

We appreciate everything that you do. And now we have a membership offer for you. I think you can get ad-free episodes, I heard. That's pretty big. Ad-free's big. But you can also get your comments looked at so we don't have to sift through the millions. How do you do that? Is there some sort of badge system?

There's a badge system, my loyalty badge. Boom. shows up next to your name in the comments, boom. We read the comment. All this badge talks, I'm going to go into the badge store. He's going to get a badger.

He's going to buy one, didn't earn it, he's going to buy one. He did a fake leave. I assumed Kyle would know that. Cuss on the motion. All right, let's cut now. That's our ad.

I got a DM from a Brosner that I thought was actually pretty clever. He goes, love the little joys. How about some little pet peeves? Little annoy. Yeah, that's it. It's opposite of little joys.

So I was like, that's a good idea. Yeah, just little, little, noise. Yeah, what are your little noise? It's nothing that, like, kills you. It's just, it's a little annoying. I got one. I mean, I'll just take over. I'm going to railroad.

It just. Please do. As I get older, I wake up in the middle of the night and I have to pee at least two times. And it's just twice per night. Twice per night. Twice per night. At like, one a.m. And then once again, an hour before I wake up.

So then I'm up on my phone for 20 minutes. And it's like, there's no controlling it. If I don't go pee. I'll just like have to pee in my dream and then I'm afraid I'm going to pee my pants and it's like this never used to happen. Yeah, it's terrible.

Yeah, I could sleep for 14 hours and not need to pee when I was like a teenager. Yeah, I feel like if I was living alone still or in a tent, I'd just pee my pants and be okay with it. But when you're in a bed with somebody else, you're like, I really can get caught pissing myself today. You better get the hell out of this bed

and go take a piss to the Illinois. Yeah, that's a good little Illinois. I got one. Go for it. When you, when you hear about like a really exciting food item that was on offer part time that's no longer available. Oh, Taco Bell. All day. And yeah, and here's gone again. Here's, here's one that kills me. Yeah. McDonald's had pizza for a while years and years ago. No, it did. It did. How do they not just

own the food market then? But here's the thing. They were trying it, right? And it wasn't in every store, but it was in a bunch of stores. Pull up a pick, Kyle. It was a, apparently amazing. What? Really? Yes. People that had it were like, it is unbelievable. It looks good.

It really, it looks legit. That's like a, it supposedly was fantastic. And you're a pizza guy. And delicious. Like that's your thing. Listen, we're looking at a picture of it. That looks like a nice, delicious, thin crust pie right there.

I like the box too. They'll have two occasions. Where are they in LA? Are they anywhere near us? Yeah. Shall we abandon pot and go get Mickey D's pizza? This is in 2015. Oh.

Okay. Yeah. So it's been discontinued and then you hear about it and you hear people raving about it. It's like, it's a little annoy. But why didn't they keep going? I think because it would the process, from what I read, the process of making it didn't really fit in with their business model. It took too long to cook.

Yeah. They're not making enough money. And it took a while to cook them. And so it just wasn't working and people loved it. Yeah. It was selling. But it just didn't work with how McDonald's. works. That's, that's interesting. Well, the thing about McDonald's is, A, their main business is real

estate. B, it's like they have their system down. Like, it's volume based system. Yeah, they don't try too many different things. Taco Bell will reassess their ingredients and make things. Constantly. It's like part of their marketing. Because there's five ingredients. But I mean, no, it works because it's good marketing. McDonald's like does the McRib and everybody freaks out about it. They never try anything else. Oh, by the way, Taco Bell used to have a Taco Supreme. that had bacon on it. See? In my youth

and it was by far the best item. Little of noise, no longer available. You guys ever had the Taco Bell Mexican pizza? Oh, yes, of course. Did we have it at the tasting?

No. Discontinued. It's back. It's back. It's back. It's back. Does it have the chives on it? It used to.

It's very chive heavy. I feel like they replaced that with the, I forget what it's called, but the thing that's all folded. It's like a Mexican pizza. Oh, the CrunchRap Supreme. Yes. I feel like they replaced that with that.

No chives. The old one had fresh chives on it. I can't afford them. I'm sure that's they can't afford it. When someone is in a text conversation with somebody that's, you're in the room with and they won't turn their, their beeper off. Oh my God. Alert signal off.

Nobody's done that. Yeah. He does that. My mother. No. I swear to God, she'll like, I'll be sitting in like the living room watching a movie at her house or something. And she'll be in a text conversation with my step. or something and every 15 seconds.

Not even the buzz. No. The actual chime. No. Yeah. That's stunning. It's just like I've never, I get so angry and there's no way to handle it but to leave the room.

Yeah. Because you're in her house. Yeah. And she's your mother. Yeah. So the problem, like this problem is, is a bigger problem. It's that you have this anticipation that you know it's going to happen. So you're annoyed not only by the noise.

I'm annoyed going into the situation. It's between the noises because you're anticipating. It'd be like the equivalent of if you were watching a movie and you knew as soon as it was over, you had to go take a test. Yeah. You know, you're like, I can't enjoy anything right now because the next time it beeps is going to be the time it kills me. It hurts my stomach. Let's do one more quick one each. Okay.

I got one. Yep. So service people, anybody, accountants, uh, pool, guys who pull, service your pool. This is just because you want to bitch about your pool guy again. There is nobody is good at their fucking job. Like, I don't care if you got a recommendation. You got to go through five people if you want a good lawyer. You got to go through 10 if you want a good accountant.

You got to go through, I'm on my fourth pool guy. Listen, and this is a champagne problem, whatever you want to call it. I don't even want the goddamn pool, and I'm on my fourth pool guy. The pool's green all the time. I hate the pool. And I'm just like, is this just an hour? a thing? Like, is this only here? Are there people who know how to do their effing jobs anywhere else? Kyle, this was like 40 minutes last night. He walked in the door and was like my fucking pool guy.

I was like, hey, Peter, nice to see you too. I'm sorry. I just service people. If you're going to offer a service, know how to do it. And here's another to add. If you get become too old and get aged out and you don't know what the hell you're doing anymore, just give it up. Like, don't do my accounting if you're going to accidentally add double my income to it and then call me two years later and say, oh, I think we need to revisit that tax return. It's funny that it was the same accountant did it to both. That's what I'm saying. Interesting. Who now is my accountant? Get out, man. Yeah, I never left. Yeah. Oops. All right. That was that was a rant. That's more than a little annoy. That's a big annoy. That's a big annoy. Yeah. Yeah, it's supposed to be little

Illinois. All right. I'm sorry. I'll try harder next time. You got another one for us? I'm trying to think of a little Illinois. Yeah, I got one. Go ahead.

Florida. What about it? What about it? No, anytime I go to, actually the Midwest is even worse, I'd say. I'm going to repel that to the Midwest. It's not the Midwest. I think Illinois is beautiful. Like some of these places are really cool, natural stuff.

But it's, the little annoy is that in the wintertime, it's negative 70 outside. and 105 inside. And in the summertime, everybody has their house set to 58 degrees inside, and it's 105 outside. It feels so good, though. It's awful. You walk into these houses in the summertime there,

and you're like, okay, oh, that's refreshing. And 30 seconds later, you're like, I need a down coat and to get under a comforter immediately. Well, good thing you probably brought that downcoat with you. To Illinois in the summer? Yeah. Dude, it drives me nuts. And it's every hotel, it's every lobby, it's every person's house.

There's not like a nice little like, oh man, it was a little too hot outside. And it's, you know, it's really nice. Is it possible that they have the heat set to 68 and you were just really cold and so it feels hot? They have it set to 105. Every single building in the Midwest has their air conditioning turned all the way down or their heat turned all down. Well, imagine me who wore glasses in college. Oh, yeah. And so you just walk to, you walk from bar to bar.

And every time you walk into the bar. So then I had to learn to take my glasses off and leave them off for like a minute and a half. But then it's the worst because you start a conversation with someone. And midway through, you need to be like, and they're just like, see you nerd. Yeah. What? Yeah. What do you do?

You couldn't see me this whole time? Yeah. The funny thing, the funny thing, me and Pat regularly talk about how when we walk into a hotel room doesn't matter what the temperature is outside, we immediately turn the air to the lowest it will go. Dude, you've never even seen cold. until you've been somewhere with Mitch Long, my cameraman. Yeah. First of all, it lives in Florida,

so it adds up. Secondly, Mitch is single-handedly causing global warming. I'm not even kidding. It's disgusting. Like, we were in his room reviewing footage once. It was me,

Johnny, Mitch, and JQ. And literally, JQ just got up and walked out. We're like, where are you going? He's like, I can't sit in here anymore.

He's like, it's too cold. He's like, I need to get gloves or something. And Mitch is like, it's kind of nice. It's just, it's insane.

Yeah, no, I've definitely like, I was on a shoot with him in the mountains of New Mexico, and it was like, you know, like mid-30s at night and like, you know, 60 during the day. Yeah. And he was 100% sleeping with his window open. Wide open.

Yeah. Yeah. He wants it to literally freezing. I like a fan. I like a blanket. You got one more? One more little annoying? Well, you've had about 10 minutes now.

I hope you got one. I wasn't thinking about them. He was thinking about ours. Yeah, yeah, it was. My first one wasn't that great. I'm going to be honest. Did I bomb my first one? No, I'll be self-deprecating.

A little annoys. Ah, shit, no. I'm not going to have dead air here. I don't have one. Fair enough. I'm getting annoyed less these days. You're annoyed that you can't think of a little annoyed. How about that?

That's a good point. When you're put on the spot by your podcast co-hosts and you kind of don't have anything. It's sort of my fucking job to have things to talk about. Yeah. All right. Well, I had an idea. Oh, no, I got one. I got one.

I got one. I got one. Go ahead. Cut. People who talk too quietly. Too quietly. And I think maybe it's because as, like, maybe because I have tinnitus or I'm getting older and like it. But like, you're walking down the street with someone and a garbage truck drives by and it's loud and they don't raise.

And it's like, how did you expect me to hear those last four sentences? Right. You're like, just keep talking. Did you not hear it? Yeah. What did you think you're walking 10 feet in front of me and this truck drove by? There's just good things to know about you. I just got to remember.

I'm just going to shout at you from now. You basically do. I know, I got a lot. You really do. Well, you have a booming voice, too. Yeah, but you're a shoutier. I can hear you from fucking two miles away. But you're shouting.

On the phone, because you're always something. You're yelling at everybody all the time. Well, I'm more like ranting in a comical Chris Farley time. He's ranting. When he's not ranting, he speaks in a normal voice. True. I think you've learned to talk louder for camera. It's unfortunate because it's hard to turn that off, but it's exactly what I've done.

I have to project my voice. because I hate running around with a microphone or something. I was giving, my friend asked me to emcee his wedding. Recently? It was like a year ago. Okay. He thought that they hired a band to be the entertainment. Yeah.

And he thought that like the singer of the band was going to like introduce the speeches and stuff. And like an hour before the guy's like, of course I don't do that. Yeah. I sing journey songs. Right. And so like an hour before after I'd been drinking at the pool all day with no responsibility, get approached by the wedding planner. she's like can you and there's like fucking like eight speeches yeah oh god and um like okay great

no problem i've spoken into a microphone many times sure so i know how to talk into the microphone their wedding is in one room the next room over has a band playing for a different wedding oh interesting so there's crazy loud music coming from there god i swear to god there was not one person whose speech you could hear a second of oh wow and i told everybody i was like you've got to speak like really loudly into light right there yeah and we just had to sit through an hour of speeches where nobody heard a word and so everyone's just kind of sitting there going it's always the worst part of a of a wedding too you're just like okay like when people are like they're waiting for their moment at somebody else's wedding it's like dude like this needs to be five minutes cap it

yeah three yeah it's like dude and and and and please be talking about the bride and the groom and not like you and their friends back in the day. Totally. Also, there's a ratio. It's called a nine parts comedy, one part touching. So 90% of your speech should be roast, comedy, jokes. Turn it at the end very sharply to a very touching thing. Get off the stage.

That's exactly what you want. Kyle did it. All jokes aside. Yeah, yeah, Patrick wrote it, remember? Yeah. But yeah, it's the key. And a lot of times you get someone, does like a 20-80.

Yeah. Oh, God. Like pop in one joke and then go straight touching for four and a half minutes. It's like, come on. It's not impactful when you're doing that for that. Yeah, we already got teared up at the vows. That's right. Everybody gets angry because the girls probably like it that are there and the guys are

just like, please, more champagne. When can we do the toast? And the maid of honor speeches are always so brutal. They tend to be more frequently touching than comedic. Well, that's the problem, too. And they're like, oh, my God, Sarah. You're getting married And I'm like

Oh fuck here we go Like every time It's like why is that how you open it? You're sitting there like It's not a fucking 42 It's about time It's your fourth marriage Yeah

It's the same speech The other three weddings we went to Exactly Sarah's done this before Three of her kids are giving speeches At this one I think I know what time is I think it's time for us

All right Badgeri I I just I'm You have a nanny And she's right on the other side eating her lunch. No, no, she's not.

She quit about 40 years ago. She's got to be like, I can't respect anyone. Your daughter is terrified. She's sleeping. She's sleeping. Very far away. My wife has to warn our nanny when she's over if I'm going to be podcasting. She's just like embarrassed, mortified.

Oh, he'll be just like screaming. Don't worry. He's not mad. All right, Forrest, do you have one? Yeah, I do. It's in the spirit of McDonald's pizza. I already love where you're going because I want one. You ready for this?

Yeah. Okay, so this one's going to be slightly different. You have to open a franchise, a fast food franchise. You can pick what it is. That's not part of the Battle Royale. Okay, but you got to say what it is. Yeah, you got to say what it is. Okay.

First, you're going to announce what the franchise is. Then you're going to pick three animals that are your business partners in the franchise. You can structure that any way you like. One can be a fry cook. One can be a baker. They can be the sales guys. You can structure it any way you like. They can just be partners in the venture.

Yep. But you're opening a franchise with three animal pals. Okay. Can I go first? Please. Okay. I'm going to open a Dunkin Donuts. Okay.

Very profitable. Sell coffee. What are they known for besides coffee? Donuts. Donuts? Sweets. Now, a big problem, big, big problem when you own a franchise is waste and theft from employees. Yep.

You don't want. A lot of guys stealing donuts at Duncan? Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. I'd eat a lot of donuts if I worked at Duncan, to be honest. Yeah, exactly. So I'm going to have my main cook be my cat Lemley. Can't taste sugar.

Okay. It's really going to minimize theft. I believe I could train her to, you know, sort of run the back bakery. Okay. You know, the friars and whatnot. Sure. And I just won't have to worry about her eating the product. That makes sense.

She's not going to be licking any icing. Not going to be tasting. You get a golden retriever in there. There's no icing left. Donuts gone. Yeah. Yeah, that adds up. So let's keep that in mind when you make your picks.

Yep. Peter, you're up. No, no. You're going to go. Nope. We're going to go like this. Snake draft. Sorry.

I'm going to open a Taco Bell franchise, Avi. I really like their marketing strategy. They're always adding new. Somehow they find new ways to create items out of four ingredients. they do for for like 40 years yeah you think the amount of permutation like they've defied math there's people at mit just being like the math has always said there's only 80 combos that's right by the way and then one time we'll just add one new ingredient like they have fries there now with with cheddar whatever and it's yeah they added potato oh my god yeah yeah cheese fries at a fast food restaurant right

it's it's so hard because my animal encyclopedia is not nearly as large as yours are i went Cat. Yeah, he picked his house cat. But it's like, and I'm going to pick it just because it's the best animal in every battle royale, either because of brainpower or because its ability to use eight arms. Yeah, that's smart. I'm going octopus because obviously in the back end doing the cooking at Taco Bell, you've seen them make the product.

It's not difficult. It's like there's a couple of little bins. They're not cooking. They're just adding things to a shell. I think you could, I think you've already won. There's no cooking. Because it's brilliant. He can cook at least four items at one time.

And assembly is where you suck up the time. That's true. Your Taco Bell is going to, people are going to be like, dude, it's crazy. Like no sooner have they given you your change than they hand you your bag. In fact, it's being shoved in my mouth while I'm paying. Buy an octopus. Some Taco Bells that make you pull forward, not this one. They're bringing it to your car when you're four backward.

Good. By the way, and then when he passes, you could do a little calamari special. True. Very true. All right. That's a good pick. Wait, what was the restaurant again? Oh, Taco Bell.

Calmar. It's just the most sane pick you've made in six months. Yeah, undeniably. Okay, good. All right. Well, I'm going to take a different approach here. I'm going to open a Flanagan's. Did you remember Flanagan's?

Of course not. What? What? You remember Flanagan's. Obviously never heard of it. I've heard the name Flanagan. Flanagan's is like, it's like a southern thing, I think. It's like you got to wear a flare.

You know, you got to have little badges on and like a stupid. Oh, so it's kind of like the TGI fry. kind of silliness. They like try and make it fun, but it's really not fun. Okay. All right, thank God it's a real place.

Is this the wrong? Is this the wrong? Am I saying the wrong thing? I sure think you are. Okay. Edit. Nope. No.

That's staying in or I'll quit. I thought, is it not called Flanagan's? What's the one with the fucking flare? No, no. Applebee's. That's,

uh, Applebee's or Fridays. Friday's. I was saying a Friday. You're thinking of Fridays. Yeah. Okay. So it's not too late.

It doesn't matter. It's a Friday. move forward. Okay. Let's move forward. All right, Flanagan's Fridays, you get it. The Flair, the bad uniforms. So what I'm selling is an experience here. Probably should have gone Dave and Busters in hindsight. What I'm selling is an experience. I'm not just selling a meal here. Yeah. You're coming for fun. That's why you see the commercials are on a Friday night. You're there with a group of friends. You sort of like you come for the food, you stay for the flare. That's it. I love it. You got it. Okay. And so for no apparent reason whatsoever,

other than pure amusement, it's going to be an ostrich by the front door. That's a good time. It's not bad. It's so wincical. I'm going to be honest. You could sell ostrich burgers. There's just nothing to it. It's just like, oh, have you been to Flanagan's?

They've got an ostrich by the front door. That's it. I'm not giving you more. Like, that's it. That's the whole marketing is like, oh, they have an ostrich at the front door. Listen, usually I come down on you about your picks like this, but this one I really think would work now that I have a kid. Yeah.

He's like the unofficial greeter. He has a name. Yeah. She has a name. Yeah. Loves her job, by the way. Of course. Super happy.

Yeah, it's fun. It runs around the restaurant. Like, you never know what the ostrich is really going to do. Now, will the eggs be used in any of those signature dishes? Absolutely. Okay. You can leave with a feather, you know? Like, there's just a lock-down on. Now you're kind of just exploiting the animal.

I am, but... They fall out. Pulling feathers, taking the eggs? Yeah. Okay, all right. There's an ostrich by the front door. All right. I like it.

That's just like your marketing. It's your general draw and appeal. Like it. Once you go in, your server, your head server, porcupine. No, I don't like this, but go ahead. Why? It's just shenanigans. It's like... No, you get it's going. He's doing a Retep style draft. It's just all shenanigans. No, no, no.

Okay, give a good reason. What if I get stuck by a quill in? You got to stay with me here, okay? Because you come in, there's an ostrich for nonsense at the door. It's fun. Your head server is a grumpy, prickly porcupine. He's going to roast you when you sit down and he's this prickly creature. He's really quite off-putting. But that's the fun of it. Like, it's one of these roast-you places. It's, yeah, like crabby dicks. those chains where the waiters are in a way you have to validate the ostrich nonsense by having more nonsense inside you're balancing it out but it's you're not really sure what the experience is because you come there for the happy ostrich you go inside and get yelled at by a grumpy porcupine

okay so the ostrich is a host yep and then uh pork pine server okay porcupine server who's up me you're up this is a snuck draft he hates it so much that you don't know it okay so uh you know I picked an octopus. I pick it all the time. It's really good for this particular... You have any new picks? So, yeah, I got a new pick. Nope, not herpes either.

I'm going with... Nobody would like that at a restaurant. I'm going with a border collie. And I'll tell you why. You've seen Lassie, right? We have. Yeah. It's a border collie in Lassie.

One of the smartest animals on the planet. And very, very friendly and customer service-oriented. You're going to eat all your golden melting. No. This will be a trained by the octopus collie. Okay. So this collie will be on the floor talking to customers. And I actually hate this when the manager walks around talking to the customers.

But the collie, you know, hey, how's your meal? Okay, let me take that. I'll throw that out for you. You know, this is going to set my Taco Bell franchise ahead of the rest. I do think he's going to be eating the ground beef. No, listen, he's trained. These are trained animals. This animal is smarter than.

I have a porcupine. You're three-year-old. Okay, but let me ask you a question. How, you guys have somehow, with each of your last two picks, decided that the animals now have the power of speaking English. Yeah. No, I didn't say that. You said he's going to be talking to the customers. Well, I said he's going around seeing if everybody's having a good time.

Well, Forrest Porcupines roasting people. Yeah, no, mine speaks English. So not only does Forrest Porcupine speak English, it also has prior knowledge of the people's lives. Right, yeah. To roast them. What was your pick again? A cat that doesn't even. who had taught to paw a donut into a friar.

We're all taking a different approach here. If I can't personify my border collie, I'll still allow him to not be on his two high and lades walking around speaking to the restaurant patrons. He can just be on all fours walking around, just like taking a look and then they'll pet him and they'll be like, aw. I get that.

Yeah. That works. I might be the outlier here. I really anthropomorphized my critters. They leave a plate on there that he'll take it to the trash. He'll throw it out. Octopus cooking in the back. Kali out front.

It's a good start. It's a good start. See, I'm trying to make a profitable business here because I know that I'll be in the front with like my Sterling personality, sort of front of house guy. So, yeah. Avoiding theft with my, with my cat.

Now I need someone who's going to be really good on the coffee roaster. Okay. Right? Because coffee's a big thing at Dunkin' Donuts. Yeah, huge. I'm desperately trying. The thing that will sink your fast food franchise,

is lawsuits. You get sued once or twice. You could be in big, big trouble. We all got food poisoning from all of them. Yeah. So I'm going to, to run the coffee station, I'm going to take, I don't know what the type of species is, but one of those shrimps that lives in the thermal vents.

Okay. And can withstand immense hot liquid and hot gas. Okay. On their crusty little exoskeleton. Sure. So they're going to sort of run the coffee because I just don't want employees who are getting burned and then suing me. Makes sense. It makes a coffee for you to jump in there, run those little legs.

Yeah, exactly. It's really smart. Now, go ahead. Really smart. Okay, thank you. So now that I've insured my profitability, I'm going to put a little flare into mind so that it does get word of mouth out, like, go to this dunk in, it's a good time. Right, yeah. You've got to set yourself apart, a unique selling position.

The cat's sort of in the back, though. You're not seeing a lot of it. and it's not allowed to come to come in. Right. I worked at a McDonald's, and we had an employee who only cleaned the bathrooms. Okay. Because I don't think maybe, I don't know, maybe there's something weird about bringing the germs from the bathrooms into the kitchen. He only did four-hour shifts, right?

I kind of think of a rougher job than being the McDonald's bathroom-only guy. Especially before phones. I don't want to say his name, but I can't. I shouldn't. But yeah, he cleaned the bathrooms, had four-hour shifts. that summer. So I want to have a really fun bathroom attendant at this Dunkin' Donuts. You know it's going to be clean and it's going to be kind of a good...

But he's not going to be like selling you hand towels for tips in the bathroom. No, no, no, no. That's awful. That's so uncomfortable. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. Okay.

I kind of want a polar bear. Okay. Because imagine the novelty. Like, you'd be like, dude, should we go to Duncan, get a donut and a coffee and then just like, go take a shit. Shit next to a polar bear? Yeah. That's something. That's fun.

That's fun. What I like about it is that you really worked hard to come up with, like, realistic ways that the cat and the shrimp could both be involved. But not the polar bear. And the polar bear. I sprinkled some nonsense in it the end. Which is like the most untamable animal will be walking around. Right. Because that's been a problem with all these.

I'm just saying you were, you were like taking it seriously. And then you just kind of fell by the way. Well, I sort of got sucked into your little game that you guys are playing over there. We're doing some shenanigans. Well, that one's adorable. Yeah. I'd put next to that. How big is this McDonald's going to be

just out of curiosity? It's a Dunkin' Donuts. And it's going to be a normal-sized one. Okay. All right, you're up, Peter. All right, well, so finally, and this is really what's going to set my Taco Bell apart from the rest. I don't know what you guys like to drink other than booze when you eat Taco Bell,

but aside from booze, I like some vitamin D whole milk. I'm going to have a cow ready. Now he's done the opposite of. So instead of the fountain machines. Instead of the fountain machines, there's just going to be a live cow that you can go and. So just get yourself a chalupa and a cup of warm milk. Unpasteurized, warm, bloody milk.

Ew, no bloody. Have it and then have a nice nap. There'll be the octopus will use one tentacle to get the blood out. All right. Okay. At my experiential restaurant where the ostrich is the greeter, your prickly porcupine is insulting you. Like all chain restaurants,

there are free salty snacks. Chips, it can be nuts. It doesn't really matter. Something like that. Something salty and awful. So we're not going to make money on the food because the food, like most chain restaurants, is not very good.

So in the kitchen is going to be a sloth, very slowly cooking your meals at a glacial pace. And in order to make money, you're going to get so parched from all your salty snacks, you're going to order a fortune worth of drinks. Okay. Bigger marks. Markup.

Yep, much bigger markup. I mean, it's a good idea, but you can't publicly announce that. No, that's why he's in the back. Okay. And see, here's what I like about that, because people are going to just have a good time and sort of forget and be like, did we even eat? There's flair. There's drinks.

How could you yell at a sloth? You're going to drink a lot more on an empty stomach. And they're going to be like, dude, we always have so much fun at Flanagan's. That's right. It'd be real easy to just be like, oh, I'm sorry. Like, the sloth, he's still making a beef. Yeah. And by the way, like, he's a sloth. You know, are you going to say anything?

You know about sloths, right? You got to have an open kitchen because then you can do the joke when people are like, oh, we ordered two hours ago. You're like, helps moving a little slow. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. That's great. All right. All right. Wait in. Let us know who won the Battle Royale or who you would open a franchise restaurant with and why there's all better choices

than the ones we made. Leave it in the comment. You should probably have your own podcast because. Yeah. We're doing our best. Yeah. Well, hey. do the thing where people say something about the end or do that.

No, that's at the end. All right. All right. Sorry. I said the end too. Uh, well, here's a thing. Wild Times. Club forward slash info.

You can find access to the Patreon, the Spotify, where we do four episodes a month, in addition to the two that we do per month on YouTube and regular Spotify. So check that out. We work real hard to fucking, I mean, I work real hard to get together with these assholes. That's true. And put that out. So does Kyle. And check that out at wild times.

That club forward slash info, Patreon.com forward slash wild times pod. Wild times pod at all the socials. And we got a new page coming up. Wildimes. combe forward slash sponsors. Check it out. I would never remember any of that.

Yeah, good job. What do you guys say at the end? If you made it through all of that, just drop casual comment. Mickey D's Pizza Please I like that Yeah let's try and get it back Let's have it go viral

Yeah can you imagine if we just got 10,000 Mickey D's Pizza Please Mickey D's Pizza Please Mickey D's pizza please That's pretty smart And don't forget to drink your fat tire Unless you're underage Yeah you shouldn't Yeah just don't tell your parents

Or if you have had a problem with alcohol in the past Well I have definitely don't tell your parents Wait I'm still drinking I know good night I think we just got in trouble Shit High quality low impact Dropped

We just got dropped by fat tire. That's okay. We told children to drink. We can cut it. It's at the end. We told people to feed toddlers beer. My ears are hot. That's probably because your hair is covering.

Is that thing? It's good hair, though. I hope we stopped recording. I have to pee so bad. Okay, good. Peen your beer pot.