Wild Times: Wildlife Education - The Real Story Behind Colombia's Legendary Sea Monster

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

This week we discuss the biggest snake Forrest has ever caught, times Forrest has made a mistake on camera, and the legend of the Malpelo Monster. Enjoy! (TWT 211)Prize Picks: Go to https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/WILD and use code WILD and get $150 if you win your first $5 lineup!Superpower: Head to http://superpower.com/ and use code WILD at checkout for $50 off your membership. Get 150+ biomarkers tested every year across two tests, plus a personalized health plan and on-demand care team. Detect early signs of 1,000+ conditions. #superpowerpodGet More Wild Times Podcast Episodes:https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wildtimespod/subscribehttps://www.patreon.com/wildtimespodMore Wild Times:Instagram: http://instagram.com/wildtimespodTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespodcastFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/X: https://x.com/wildtimespodDiscord: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9DbWebsite: https://wildtimes.club/Merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merchBattle Royale Card Game: https://wildtimes.club/brOur Favorite Products:https://www.amazon.com/shop/thewildtimespodcastMusic/Jingles by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkeyThis video may contain paid promotion.#ad #sponsored #forrestgalante #extinctoralive #podcast

There has been a legend, a history of divers going out to Malpello Island and seeing something that science cannot explain. Okay. 300 miles off the coast of Columbia, divers report a very large, very dark shape that lurks in the deep water around the island. Now, this animal is called El Monstra or the Malpello monster. What makes it so mysterious is the geography. Malpello Island juts up and is surrounded by incredibly deep. water. Okay. So it could be something that's come from very, very deep. A researcher who is a marine biologist, she herself has had seven or eight encounters with the male pillow

monster describes it as a 20 foot long, dark. Wild Time. Oops. But there we go. Here we go. Here we are. We're in the studio Wild Times. We're doing a podcast today. Why are you doing the wrap it up? Because I dig your shirt. I was going to say I'll dig our shirts. That just was like wrap it up like the He's going for more than three seconds. Now, stretch. He's still got 59 more minutes. It's like a woo-hoo. I am your host, the broologist.

Next to me is the bro-ducer, and on the end is the pit master. That's right. So why'd you call him the pit master? Because it was good. It happened off camera. Because unfortunately, Kyle blew his amazing one-liner joke as we sat down. As we sat down today, he said, Peter, you're dressed like a guy

who looks like he makes really good barbecue. Yeah. Which is true. And raised by coyotes makes us all look good. But Peter looks particularly like you'd be making really nice bar. If you had cowboy boots instead of Converse. You look like Guy Fieri should be standing next to you. Because I look like I'm wearing a black chef's coat. Is that why?

No, you just, you look like every guy that Guy Fieri goes to that has an outdoor barbecue place. Yeah, it's true. He's like, you know, start at 245 a.m. Yeah, look, that's you in four and a half years. It's because it's a good, it's a good, black and red particularly are a good barbecue pit uniform time.

It's the hair, too. Like, you've got barbecue guy hair. That's great. Yeah. You look like a guy who, like, used to ride motorcycles a lot, but doesn't anymore. That is true. You look like a guy who smokes a brisket and tells you about his uncle. Is that a sexual reference?

Do another one. Do another one. Do another. You look like a guy who, like, quick. Quick. Oh, don't think. You look like a guy who, like, 15 years ago was friends with Jesse James. You look like a guy who likes to talk about bass fishing.

You look like a guy who, like, married a girl. girl who's now 40, but was in porn for like two to three years. You know, you know that luck? Oh, 100%. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, I do. But she's got a lot of tattoos and it's super cool and we're all like, it's so crazy.

And then like when we're talking behind his back, I'm like, you've watched it, right? Yeah, yeah. Of course. Yes. You look like a guy who still references his high school football injuries. That's yeah. I mean, all these things are true. All of these things are true.

Look, great show coming up. So what do we got on the docket? Ooh, I have an animal mystery for you guys today. Okay. Yeah. Is it solvable? It is solvable. It's tricky.

It's not an easy one. I'll tell you that. Okay. However, this is a longstanding mystery of a very, not just mysterious creature, but deadly one. Okay. Yeah. I've got an amazing story that I read that I don't think you know, because I asked you if you'd heard of the title of like the log line and you hadn't heard of it.

Okay. It has to just a crazy story. that happened at sea. Yep. But when I was doing some research, you know, because sometimes we'll talk about like cryptids and, you know, just get into what could it be, whatever. Sure. So I was just doing some research.

And I found, you know, there's all these stories of like 50 foot long snakes. Yeah. You know, they're from all over. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The famous one that the pilot took. In the Congo. In the Congo and all the stuff.

So I wanted to ask, because you are a snakeman. Snakeman. What is the biggest snake? I got the biggest laugh I've ever seen out of Kyle in the producer's chair. I've never heard that He turned his face to laugh away from the microphone He's a professional Yeah, that was amazing

The pro would hit the mute button And then we have a huge announcement One, two, three members of the Wild Times crew have had major life changes So we're gonna get into that, but what So I'm reading about these like 50 foot snakes Yeah, you know, it's never been documented Of a snake that big

What is the biggest snake you have ever encountered In your various travels and filmings? the biggest snake that I've ever seen that'll make... So you know right off top of your head. Yeah, oh, it's no question. That'll make Garrett Galvin, do you know who he is?

The yoink guy? Kyle, pull up a little yoink guy. No, I'm doing. Yoink. Fishing Garrett on Instagram and some other stuff. He's great. He's really funny.

He catches everything and goes, yoink. So much so that just by saying the word yonk and picking things up, he's got 31 million subscribers. Holy shit. Oh, he also boops. So he's on a...

He's on a quest. he's on a quest to find a 20-foot snake. Well, my longest snake that I've ever caught was the first big anaconda that I ever caught when I was 18 years old, and it was 19.8 feet. And had we stretched it, had we pulled it end from end, it probably would have easily hit 20, but that was 19.8 on the ground.

That's it right there. That snake right there. Kyle will pull up a different photo where you can see me and my two buddies when we were 18 holding it. Get that face out of there. That's true. So there it is right there. 19.8 footer. That is Nick Mancuso and Mike

Nore of the fabled bullet ant story by the way. Which one's which? Nick is the tall, handsome one, and Mike is the one getting shot on by the snake currently in this photo. And Nick is the one who put the bullet ant on Mike. Correct. And made it bite him. Yep. After Mike had generously volunteered to host

us in the Amazon where he was living and working at a research station. Got it. Yeah. Nick's a good guy. And you said even though Mike's a lot smaller, he's actually scarier? Oh, Mike would kill both Nick and I in a fight. If Nick and I teamed up and tried to kill 5'7 Mike, he would destroy us. He's one of those small, angry, scrappy, scrappy, super athletic people. Got that. It just, it just... Fast. Oh, so fast. And, and purposeful. Do you know what I mean?

Like, he's one of those guys, like, he looks you sternly and you're like, oh, fuck, this isn't going to be good. Well, because you know he'll do exactly what a chimp will do and he'll rip your nuts off. Yeah, he would. Yeah, he would. Yeah, he would with his teeth. Directly from dick. Wow. Yeah, green anaconda, 19.8 feet. We have a ton of photos. What was the scenario here? It's actually really, really crazy story. And it goes into something I wanted to talk about a little bit in the pod about like weird customs and traditions, local, local lores.

Yeah, yeah. This is going to be hard to even believe. I've never told the story before. So we were 18 or 19 years old. It must have been 19, 20 years old. And we decided, instead of spring break, Nick. Nick and I, who were sophomores, I think, at UCSB in college together, we're going to go down to the Amazon, meet up with Mike, and go out into the jungle and

catches many herps, many snakes and reptiles and lizards and frogs and things as we could, right? Snake and amphibian trip into the Ecuadorian Amazon. Is Nick a good herb guy? Very. Yeah, very. That's what we bonded over. So him and I were... Because usually when you're that good looking and tall, you're not a complete nerd who likes

to catch snakes. No, he is, though. Like, he should have probably gone to Cancun and just plowed his way through. that whole beach. He did plenty of that as well. But instead, so yeah, I'll give you the whole story because this is a talking show. So Nick and I met freshman year when the two of us both independently petitioned to join an upper division class. Remember in college you had lower division class, upper division classes? And until you were a junior senior, you couldn't join an upper division class. Right. So Nick and I independently, both as freshmen, petitioned to

join herpetology, which was an upper division only class, which you, could do. You could go in and say, I really want to take this class, blah, blah, blah. Usually you got denied. Him and I both got approved to join it, but the first ever lab session was canceled. There was no lab on the first week. But because him and I were freshmen who were too busy drinking and doing other stupid things, we didn't read that the first ever lab session was canceled. So on my very first week at UCSB, I walked into a lab in an upper division class that I'd petitioned to get in. And there was one other guy in there. And it was this guy in Puka shell necklaces with giant

like Midwestern flip flops. You know what I'm talking about? Like those big rubber flip flops that no one in California would ever wear. Not the like, how dare you? Oh, it's like shower flop. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And he's there with his fucking pukeshell necklaces.

And this, by the way, was about 2004. And, um, and, uh, after 15 minutes of both sitting in silence across the classroom from each other, he goes, yo, bro, I don't know if class is happening today. You like snakes? And, uh,

it was like, It's like the stepbrothers moment. Do we just become best friends? Yep. That is funny. Anyway, long story short, he, he and I became really close friends. He goes, I have this friend who's older than us by two or three years,

who's working as a researcher down in Ecuador and the Amazon. Why don't we go visit him for spring break? And I was like, fuck yeah, I've always wanted to go to the Amazon. This is my first time ever going to the Amazon. Oh, nice. And so, you know, we bonded over snakes and reptiles and catching snakes. And Mike was down there doing herpetological. surveys. Mike, Mike's, like, probably 45 now. A few years older than us. And anyway, so we,

we call up Mike. He goes, no problem. I'll meet you in Cocos, Ecuador, which Cal can pull up. Tiny little town on the, on the river, on the Rio Negro in, in Ecuador. I'll meet you in this tiny little town. This is before the days of like, even cell phones working out of the country. You remember that? Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, I'll meet you there on this day, and we'll go, we'll go into the Amazon. So we just fly into to, yeah, Cocos. I think that's what it was called. Yeah, Playaedal Cocos. I think that's it. Anyway, fly into this tiny little town and yeah, that's it, Kyle, on the top right corner

in Ecuador, meet up with Mike at this like shanty. I mean, it was just crazy. And he's found this guy named Fausto, who's a native Amazonian Indian. So he's not Spanish of Spanish descent. He's of, it's not Playa del Coco. There's a town there. I thought it was called Cocos, but you'll find it. He's not of Spanish descent. He's of Native Amazonian descent, right? Native Amazonian Indian. And Fausto is going to take us into the jungle with nothing but his canoe for 11 days,

and then we're going to go back to America at 19 years old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Nick and I rock up with backpacks. I literally had like a grocery store headlamp, like no real gear, you know, couple snake hooks, fishing rods, whatever, couple backpacks. One pair of pants. Totally, totally. Zipoffs.

Zipoffs. And Nick also had zip-offs, I noticed. And we show up, meet up with Mike, above a bar, meet up with Fausto, getting his motorized canoe. Day one is seven hours of in the motorized canoe up into the first up the Rio Negro, then up a tributary, then up a smaller tributary. Then we just pull up to a section of jungle that looks like this. And Fausto in his like nine words of English is like, we're here. like we are.

And anyway, so we spent some of the best 10 days I've ever had in my life. Just the three of us, no, we didn't do that. Just the three of us camping in the jungle. My birthday was always on spring break. So Mike brought a bottle of whiskey. I drank the whole thing, passed out butt naked in the jungle, covered in mosquito bites. Had a near-death experience with a black cayman that I told these guys we could definitely catch that we couldn't and nearly killed me. While drunk?

Yeah, all kinds of crazy fun stuff. In fact, little Brosner Pro tip, Kyle, look up Sonny River Lodge. The second half of the trip, we were so tired from camping, we went and stayed at this place, which has now got a little like high end, but at the time was very, very small. And it was just so beautiful. And this is where we had the close call with the Cayman. But, yeah, that's it right there. Sani Lodge, S-A-N-I.

Yeah, Sani River Lodge is beautiful. Anyway. Beautiful, yeah. By the way, of my now dozen trips to the... Amazon, this is still the best piece of Amazon I've ever seen. Most wildlife, most incredible animal diversity, best weather, everything else. That's awesome. But to get to the snake story, the one thing we'd always wanted was all of us, like the dream for any guy who's serious about herping, was to catch a big anaconda. Now, Mike had been down there for three months already,

hadn't seen anything other than like one, six footer or something. Our other friend Brian And Susan had been down there for two years running trips, never seen a big Anaconda, nothing. So we asked Fausto, do you think we can catch a big Anaconda? He said, no, you know, they're very rare. You see them once in a while. I don't think so. No way. We're like, no problem, no problem.

You know, we go on. We're eight, seven, eight days into the trip. And that afternoon, a rainstorm hits, like big Amazonian rainstorm. So we run back to camp and, you know, we get out of the rain and we're sitting in our tents and letting the rain pass. And Fausto falls asleep. you know, as one does when you're sitting around camp. Sure.

And he wakes up at dinner time and he says to us, very broken English. He says to us, I had a dream of a woman in the sky. We're like, okay. Yeah. He says, right. Well, tomorrow we're going to find an anaconda. And I was like, what? He's like, when you have rain, it's a suckery, a water snake.

When you have rain and you see a woman in the sky, we will see a big snake. And we're like, okay, Fausto. And by the way, this wasn't like a trick that he was playing and he was going to take us to where the big snake was. Right. Because we were hiking the same trails every day. Right. Yeah, yeah. We moved a little bit, but we were in the same area, whatever. But we were going, anyway. And so he said to us, like it was matter of fact, not like it was opinion or like things could change or, you know, I'll take you to a funny spot tomorrow. He was just said, you know, I saw a woman in the sky during the rain. Tomorrow we will see a big snake. And we're like,

okay, Fausto. And literally, all three of us discussed it and we're like, that was whatever, like brushed it aside. The next more. We'll see. The next. morning, the rain had passed. We'd jump in the canoe and we go to the same trail we've been to two other times already to hike in this way. And along that trail, there was an abandoned hut, like somebody's fishing hut. And we'd walk past that hut twice before. We'd found snakes there before, because, you know, boards in the jungle stuff hides under the boards. And we get off the boat, and Mike and I are like, let's stop and check the hut. And so Mike and I go around to the right-hand side of the hut, and we flip over a board and we see a tiny little fur to

lines, like a baby one, this big venomous pit viper. We've probably seen six of them this week already. We're checking off as many species as possible. And we're like, Nick, get over here. We got a fertile alliance. He's like, Mike, Forrest, get over here. We're like, no, no, we have a snake. He's like, get the fuck over here right now. And we're like, oh, shit. And so we like ignore the fertile lines and run around the corner and coiled up beside this thing in broad open strokes daylight was this coil of snake that I shit you not. was as tall and as wide as this table is round. It was fully coiled up.

That's a big snake. And we looked it, went, oh, my God. And it's right next to this hut? It was literally leaned against the hut, like sleeping in a coil. And we were like, oh, my God. And Fausto was standing there, and he looked at us as though I said to you, hey, would you grab me a coffee? And I just handed you a coffee.

Like, yeah. I knew I knew I was getting my coffee. Just like I knew I was getting the snake. Right. And so he was 100% convinced this native Amazonian guy that the dream and the thing he had seen meant we were getting a snake. And this was first thing the next morning.

Not even when anacondas are out, by the way. Anacondas are out during the heat of the day to sun. They don't come out first thing in the morning. They're in the water the rest of the time. Yeah. Anyway, super, super weird, crazy coincidence. Not a coincidence, bro. Whatever you want to call it.

It's legit. And we made the decision that Nick would make the main grab because you have to grab the head first. How big was the head? see right there. Yeah, I mean, if you go to the one of me in the water with it, go to the picture of me in the water in it. I mean, you can see the size of it there.

Not bigger than your meat, paw. Nah, nobody's are. But yeah, that's it. That's a large. It's a sizable snake. Yeah, that's a large big thing there. And anyway, you know, Nick catches it and it starts to coil him up. Mike and I are uncoiling it.

We managed to get the snake subdued, take photos, take measurements, take scales, all the things from Mike's work. So you subdued this giant snake, was it fighting you? Yeah, oh yeah. That's why I'm in the water here. That's what I was just going to ask. So you pull the canoe up and there's a pretty steep, not tall, but maybe three foot, four foot riverbank. And then it flattens out and there's the hut.

So we start wrestling the snake. And the snake, first thing it does is try to go for the water. Right? So we all ended up in the water. I popped my shirt off for this photo. But we did all end up in the water. But yeah. So that was that 19.8 feet was the biggest snake.

I mean, okay. So as somebody who doesn't know much about snakes, like I'm looking. at you in water with a 20-foot snake where it lives. How is it not killing you right now? Well, Pat, football is finally back and Price Picks is bringing out their best offer yet. New users who sign up will get $150 in lineups if you win your first $5 lineup. That's right. If you win your first $5 lineup, you'll get $150 in lineups.

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wild for $50 off. And after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about Superpower. Please tell them Wild Time sent you to support the show. Like we had, we had won. We subdued it. We caught it already. The three of us had it. Why is it not just wrapping around you? How could it? It was tired at this point. Gotcha. So you tired it out. Pretty much. You know, Like all ectothermic animals, animals that charge from the sun, they have bursts of crazy amounts of strength and energy and then run out and have to recharge. Okay. So how long is, so what is the strategy when he goes for the, what do you call it, the main grab? Yeah, so he goes for the head right behind, like where I'm holding it there.

So how does he get it when it's in that coil? How does he get the head? So he comes around the back of it and the snake woke up and starts to look and then starts to move and Nick jumps on on the back of it and goes for behind the head. Don't show Garrett's video. Show my videos of catching anaconda's looney tech. And yeah, I mean, and then yeah, you grab behind the head and then the snake goes pretty crazy. Yeah. And then Mike and I were unwrapping the snake from Nick's body while it was wrapping him. Yeah, go to that YouTube video, that top one there. And yeah, I mean, you know, had we not done that, it would have broken all of Nick's ribs and imploded his heart. So you're able to, two humans are strong enough to unwrap even if.

if it's trying as hard as it can to wrap? Yes, but like in this video, this is from my mysterious creature show where we caught a 19-footer is about eight inches shorter that was bigger and thicker, but not as long. Six humans couldn't stop it

from going into the water. You can see this chaos here. If you watch a show, it's a great segment. But look, everybody's trying as hard as they can. The researchers, myself, Mitch, JQ, and it's just absolute panic chaos. And we lost the snake in this.

Kyle can zoom forward. And then I found it again because the water was so clear and I throw on all my dive gear and then I'm here it is here I am in the water with and then I caught it in the water in the end got it's crazy it's massive

that's another massive this is a different animal what are you holding there string I was trying to get a measurement and then I was like this isn't working we just got to catch it so what kind of snake is that green anaconda green anaconda and the other one was a black anaconda both green all right so the one that you got

was 1908 you said 198 yeah what's the record do we know Kyle what's the largest that's ever been recorded? Because one of the things with, to get the official recording on these giant snakes, I believe to get the official recording, they put them to sleep. Oh, really? Yeah, so that they can fully stretch it.

So what's interesting here is this says 20.7 is the longest one ever caught. I would guess mine was within two inches of that. Yeah. Had we, you know, because you can't just like pull it perfectly flat. Like you said, that's probably why they euthanize them. Yeah. And I would guess that one we caught was within two inches of that. I really would.

So the three of you were able to handle this snake. Yeah. Right? That was almost 20 feet. What would be a size of snake that would be too much for three people to deal with? Like how much bigger would that thing need to get? It's really about like leverage, you know? But I think to answer your question, it's like when I try and explain this to people,

The difference between a six-foot crocodile and an eight-foot crocodile is completely unmanageable. You think, or even a six and a seven, like you're thinking, oh, well, it's just this much longer. Right. But that much longer is the equivalent of 200 more pounds of strength and power and everything else. And it's the same with these snakes. Well, dude, think about this. I'm about 5'10, right? Yeah.

Let's just give me two inches, right? Sure. And I'm talking shit to you and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And so give me, pretend I'm six feet my baby. build. Yeah. You'd probably be like, fuck this guy.

I'm going to fight him. Now take my build and make me seven feet tall. No. There's no way. You'd be like that's one of the biggest humans I've ever seen. Yeah, I'd be terrified in every capacity. Yeah. But I guess to answer your question, you know, I would say, man, even a snake at 24 feet would

be unmanageable for three people. Right. Because the weight is going to be exponential there. Exponential. Hundreds. So it says here, if Kyle goes back to his previous screen, the largest anaconda ever recorded, which was 20.7, weighed more than a gorilla. You know, it's 441 pounds.

Dang. So imagine if it was 24 feet, it would be 600 something pounds. Right. Yeah. Yeah, and the thickness is going to be way bigger and everything. What's this? This is, is that the largest anaconda? I think that's just a stock photo.

Or AI. Who knows these days? Yeah, that's probably a AI. So, uh, gorilla versus biggest green anaconda. Regular size average gorilla versus green anaconda fighting. until death, they both have to do it. I mean, on the shore. No one can stop.

A gorilla would just break the anaconda. People don't realize the snakes are incredibly fragile. They're very fragile animals. When you see somebody drop a snake that's a pet or something, they're breaking a bunch of ribs. Really? Really. They're very fragile creatures. Now, with that being said, you know, I've seen these anacondas and reticulated pythons and

things that eat 200-pound deer. So. Kind of back to what you said about leverage. Like a gorilla would get way more leverage on a snake than a deer. Look, if the snake, if you put them in an equal fighting arena, the gorilla would pound the snake to death. It would pick it up and shake it and smash it to death. If the snake had any advantage, like the ability to sneak up on the gorilla, the snake would win. But in a level playing field like snake versus gorilla in an arena, I think the gorilla would win, no question.

It's so strong. you know, they say a gorilla can bench 3,000 pounds. That's the metric that people say. You know, all that gorilla has to do is pick it up and slam it and break it. And the snake would bite and everything. But the damage the gorilla could do by hammer fisting it and slamming it on the ground and stuff would kill the snake. What would the snake go for? Like a bite?

Pin your fucking arms down, right? Now, let me add this, though. That's a good question. The snake, Anaconda specifically, because that's what we're talking about, are adapted for water. If this was even in waste deep water, snake every day, every second of the day. These are aquatic animals. They're not a terrestrial animal, to be clear. The reason these anacondas can get so big and do get so big is because they have the neutral gravity of being in water. Sure. So you put that anaconda guerrilla fight in, again, just waste or knee-deep water

and the anaconda wins every single time. Isn't that kind of, isn't there some newer or newish, or at least it was new to me scientific theory about a lot of the large dinosaurs is that they would pretty much exclusively hang out in like water. In bogs and swamps and things. Yeah, and it helps them grow bigger.

I don't know if you and I were talking about that or where... It was on that, what was the series that was a really good dinosaurs. Yeah. Yeah. They talked about that. That like the T-Rex may not have really

run around on land that it like pretty much hung out in like marshes and swamps. Yeah. So it could be more buoyant to like deal with that massive size. Oh, so it was like it wasn't so much work to move around. Exactly. Yeah. Interesting.

And you see that. And we'll allow for the size to get bigger. You literally even see that today in modern animals, elephants that are arthritic spend all their time in water because it takes the weight off of their joints. They're so fucking smart those elephants. It's amazing. They'll just go sit in water all the time. Yeah.

They're like the whales of earth. Speaking of, have you seen the fat, kid who lives in water? No. No, but I'd love to. Yeah. Kyle, do you know what I'm talking about? Snickering. He knows what I'm talking about. Yep, he already typed it in. So there's this kid in India, 16-year-old boy from West Bengal who lives in water, and he's very overweight. And he says that if he gets out of water, his skin burns and he feels bad and he can't move. What does it say? a 16-year-old boy from West Bengal has reportedly spent nearly five years living in a pond because he experiences an intense burning sensation across his body whenever he comes out of the water.

Doctors say the cause is still unclear and have called for a detailed medical evaluation. Possible conditions being considered include nerve-related disorders or rare conditions, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can I just say it? Can I just say it? It's been five years and they're just still calling for a medical evaluation. They have been able to do it in five years. You know what actually happened?

And I wasn't going to bring this up. But you know, my wealthy friend Anandambani who owns Ventara. Yeah. He heard about this and called in the doctors and things to get him treatment in Mumbai. Okay. So I think that's why it's happening all of a sudden. So that's why it's kind of viral now. I think so.

But to these, to this commenter's point, human skin is not designed for that. No. I mean, if I go in my pool for two hours, I feel like my hands are going to fall off. Exactly. Yeah. Not this guy. Interesting. in there smashing chips floating in a pond.

How does he sustaining this girth or just people bringing him food? I mean, it must be. He's quite hippo-like. Unless he's catching fish. With his toes? Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, there's definitely weird shit. I just read about this disease called, I think it's called Willie Bar disease.

I've heard of something bar. So it's essentially like kids will get it. It's very rare. Okay. Julian Bar. No, no. It's... Dr. Brady Bar?

No, so once I'm describing it... So you just say more things with the word bar in them? Hershey Bar. Yeah. But essentially, it makes it so that they don't have the ability to stop eating. To the point where, like, they have to be... I got to tat on that. Like, you got to lock your kitchen, you got to, and they'll, like, sneak food and steal food.

My five-year-old has it. Yeah. But this is like, their craving for food is so intense. Frater Willie syndrome. That's what it is. It's a rare genetic condition caused by a missing or inactive part of chromosome 15, the brain's hunger center. It affects the hypothalamus. The brain never sends a signal that the body's full.

That's right. I might have a touch of this guy. A touch of it. Yeah, I really might. There's a difference between Willie Barr syndrome and just liking pizza. Okay, well, you know. But think about just being hungry 24-7 and-I know what that's like. I did the sardine diet.

I was hungry for five days. It was awful. How'd that work out for you about it? Great. I lost eight pounds. Dude, that's fantastic. Did you bring it back?

Yeah, immediately. My buddy and Owen that I grew up with, he had, I don't know if he was hypoglycemic or what the fucking thing is. He's massive also. Yeah. But he like, I can go a long time without food. Yeah.

I'm fine. Like, I don't need to eat throughout the day. I can wait till dinner. It's weird. No, no. No, I've really changed it up now that I'm natural. My protein. Oh, smart.

Your eating habits are unnatural. You've, I've seen like what you're trying to eat And I'm like that's 1800 calories less than me Yeah But dude like So we were on the way to a gig once Because me and him used to like play in this little comedy band

Okay And I was on the 405 See if you can find this cow And comedy band He there was a he was like I'm fucking I need to fucking eat And I was like dude we're like

Gonna get there right on time And we were in traffic trying to get off at the exit We needed to get off and he just jumped out of the car on the middle of a highway because he could see a taco bell. No way. I swear to God. And ran over to it.

And he was just like, pick me up at the Taco Bell. Dude, I just ran Taco Bell. Because like he was, if he didn't eat, like, I think he thought he was going to die. I've been there, dude. I have been there where I've been, I've just, I mean, I haven't been that extreme, but I've been like, I need to fuck it. Like, I'm going to like start, like, panicking. Like, and just shovel fucking white bread into my mouth.

Yeah. I told you about Mexico City when I did that, right? No, what did you do? Oh, it's the first time it ever happened to me. I was in Mexico City with my wife, and we like walked down to go see like the old, you know, the Aztec ruins and like just walked the fucking city, man. And we just hadn't eaten. Yeah. And got a coffee, was drinking a coffee, finished that, we're walking, was like, we could go for another coffee, had another coffee. had another coffee.

And then it was like, we're going back to the hotel. We'd probably cover like eight to ten miles. And I just had not eaten. Yeah. And it just hit me. And it just, it felt like the options were death or, and I was like, oh my God. Like everything was just quaking a little bit. And my whole body felt weak and shaky.

And I was like, oh, my God. What the fuck is this? And I just like went into this cafe and like, ask for these muffins. Yeah. I was like, three, three muffins. And the guy took him out and he like started wrapping them up and then put them in an oven. I was like, just give me no, free oh, three oh, muffins. And like he and you know, they're dry.

Yeah. And so I'm like, dry and they're crumbing, but I don't have enough wetness in my mouth. And so I just grab a gatorade out of the thing and I'm just like, and dumped half of it down my shirt. And I haven't even paid yet. And I'm sure the guy's like, what the fuck? And my wife's just like staring at me. And I'm like shoving it with my fingers down. How do I get this into my body?

Bro, 10 minutes later, completely fine. It's just the blood sugar had crashed that hard. That was one of your jokes where you said it while someone was talking and we missed it. He hates that. It was a good joke. It was a great joke. You heard it? Yeah, it was hilarious.

It just in the middle of. It's a terrible feeling. when your blood sugar crashes. Yeah. You sound like you had a full panic attack. 100%. Oh my God. Speaking of fucking just what,

that guy in India and then you eating all that food, do you guys hear about this whale attack? Is that a terrible segue? The worst. Yeah. Sorry. Thanks for trying. Can you pull up that comedy band shit?

Did you find that? I have a photo from it. He's not a video. I think Kyle found videos. No, look, I have one photo of it. Oh, is it? Yeah. It's the one photo I've had of Patrick DeLuca.

Wow. How skinny I was. Look that stash. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. That's the only photo I have of the comedy bands. So give him, give Kyle some breadcrumbs to follow here to find an actual video of this. Man, I don't know.

It's been so long. All right. The band was called. I'm not going to get into it. We don't need to spend too much time. We get canceled for some of the stuff we said in 2003 and four. That is real. All right.

Forrest, I'm dying to get into this. You told me when I walked in. You said I've got a mystery. Because normally when we do mysteries, I do the mystery. get you guys to guess? Yeah. True. You're hosting an animal mystery

that you say is very, like, legit. It's very legitimate, very compelling. Okay. Kyle, on a map, pull up the Melpello Islands. Okay? Learning about geography. Do you know where this is? No, never even heard of it.

Malpello. All right. So off the coast of Columbia, Columbia's Galapagos, right? This is what they call the Malpello Islands. It's a series. It's a bunch of little landmasses. I think it's one or two.

I don't remember. But you can see where the Galapagos is way out there. right down to the left. That's the Galapagos off of Ecuador. This is Columbia's version. This is the Malpello Island. It just looks like huge rock formation. It's unbelievable.

And it's said to be, it's much more volatile than the Galapagos, right? The Galapagos is tropical paradise, right? It's crystal clear water all the time, blah, blah, blah. Malpello sits closer to shore, more currents, more susceptible to storms, more bad visibility days, things like that. But standing in the middle of the ocean

is this pyre of rocks called the Malpello Island. You see the little islands off the side there. There has been a legend, a history of divers going out to Malpello Island and seeing something that science and themselves cannot explain. On the island or in the water? I'll tell you. So, 300 miles off the coast of Columbia, divers report a very large, very dark shape that lurks in the deep water around the island.

Now, this animal is called El Monstro or the Melpello monster. Never heard of it. Right? You've never heard of it. Now, I'll give you a couple clues, and we'll see if we can narrow in on this. Keep in mind, the people that go to Melpello are not looky-lose. Okay? If you're going to Melpello Island to conduct any kind of survey or even just go there,

you're probably a scientist. Sure. Right. These aren't just Tom Dick and Harry. Right. A lot of the legends we talk about on this pot are, you know, some guy had a siding in the woods who doesn't know anything about animals. These are real researchers and real expeditioners that are going to Melpello to document stuff.

And they report a 15 to 20 foot long dark shape lurking in the waters around the island. Okay. Megalodon. No. All right. It's a theory. All right. Should we start guessing?

Yeah, I think so. So 15 to 20 foot, obviously we know that there's white sharks that could get pretty close. lurking in the waters. Is there any more about the behavior that makes it mysterious? What makes it so mysterious is the geography. So here's what I'll tell you

is these islands, as you can see, in those photos, just shut up. Right. Right. There's no, most islands in the world, there's sort of a shelf

or a plane where the islands come out, right? Like, if you look at the bathymetry of Hawaii, the Hawaiian islands are basically peaks of mountains on a plateau of mountain ranges. Mm-hmm. Melpello is not that.

Maltello underwater topography. Okay, thanks. The Malpello Island juts up and is surrounded

by incredibly deep water. Okay. So it's kind of like an underground or like an underwater deep sea volcano or mountain that is just shoots up into the sky.

Straight to the summit is on the top. And everything around it is incredibly deep. Okay. So would that mean we got to that it shouldn't be a white shark then?

What that means is, as I mentioned, there's lots of currents there. The conditions are volatile, and there's deep water. So what do you get, let me ask you this, as we've been doing this pod for seven calendar years,

what do you get when you have deep water and lots of current and wind? Blobfish. Don't just say dumb things. Deep water. I don't know. You get upwelling. Okay.

So current and wind movement over the surface pushes water energy, and that brings stuff up from the deep. Right? When you have a shallow bottom, if it pushes it up, it just circulates. But when you have deep and current and something sticking up like a conductor, you get up well. It creates an uplift. So it could be something that's come from very, very deep. It's come from very deep. Giant squid?

It's a good guess. That's a closer guess. So do we have any more information on the actual physical description? Yeah, so how about this? How about this? A researcher who I've spoken with because I pitched a whole Shark Week show about this named Sandra Basuto,

who is a marine biologist. So this is not a looky-lou. She herself has had seven or eight encounters with the Melpello monster describes it as a 20-foot-long, dark shark. Like it's black?

Like 20 feet long. I know it is. You know it is? It's an orca. It's a lot. lone orca. It's a good guess. Got separated from its pod. 20 foot long. So that would rule out a white shark because it's black. And she's a and she's a researcher. So keep in mind when you're talking about a marine biologist, she's going to say, oh, that's a tiger shark. I know a tiger shark.

Oh, that's a white shark. I know a white shark. This is a woman who spent her life studying sharks and goes, I don't know what that fucking is. She does now and we're going to come to the conclusion of the mystery shortly. But this is a real thing. And this is a real thing. And this all started by, one, these legends of these sharks, very rare deep water sharks coming up towards the surface, which is unheard of. And it's because of the perfect pathometry and topography and everything else of this area in the currents. And two, actual researchers couldn't figure out what this was until they brought. Could it be like a basking shark that's in a wrong place? That's a good, that's a closer guess. So it's something like that. Now, basking sharks are surface

animals, right? Yeah. So it's certainly a shark. It is. We know that now. And I don't think you're going to guess it. But, but. that's what makes this fun. So before you found out what it was, what's interesting about this to you? It's just the fact that this place, Malpello, with its upwelling,

surrounded by deep currents and all of these various factors that make it so that deep sea animals come up in the water column is very, very rare. So it's one of the only places in the world where deep sea creatures end up near the surface because you have these cold

deep sea currents, all of this up welling, all this energy where animals that would typically be at six, seven, eight thousand feet end up at 40 feet or 50 feet. Like where a blobfish would be. So that'd be a fucking crazy place to dive. Crazy. And it's why I pitched an entire show called Hunt for the Melpello monster that somebody stole for me. Is it like, is it dangerous to dive there, though?

Because of all the current and the upwelling? I mean, yeah, if you hit a bad storm or whatever. I read somewhere when I was trying to book this trip for this show that, you know, they cancel like 50% of the trips because of the weather and everything. everything. So it's like your likelihood of a successful trip is somewhat limited. Gotcha. Anyway, I'll get to it because I don't think you guys are going to guess this. Sure.

Have you ever heard of a sand tiger shark or a ragged tooth shark? No. Ragged tooth ever. Ragged tooth. We've talked about them before on the show. So sand tiger or ragged tooth shark, they're very common in North Carolina. That's the shark from finding Nemo. With the goofy teeth. It sure looks like it.

So in Malpello, and actually, as far as we know, in deep water oceans at 6,000 feet or more around the world are big, sorry, small-toothed sand tigers. Now, small-toothed sand tigers get much larger than ragged-toothed sand-tiger sharks that we just talked about. So, Kyle, pull up a picture of a small-tooth sand tiger. And they're, you probably kind of tell the difference, but they look quite different. The one that looks black almost, Kyle. Yeah.

And they have these crazy teeth, which gave them this monstrous lore. Look that vertical one. 17 to 18 feet long, which is why researchers, like Sandra, would go to this area and have encounters with these sharks and be like, I don't know what the fuck I just saw. Yeah, look at it. Yeah. It's crazy, dude. I mean. So that picture right there, that famous picture in the black on the far right.

Yeah, the one he's got pulled up there. That one? No, that one right there. Nope, down. That one is from Melpello. And it's the only place in the world. Yeah, it even says it, diving with small to sand tigers at Mel Bella. It's the only place in the world that they're.

somewhat predictable. And they, now, so are, do they, are they deep sea? They are generally a deep sea animal. They come up here because of everything. And I see that big one, the black and white photo. So there's a picture somebody caught one and strung it up. Yeah. I mean, obviously there's forced perspective in front of the ship that looks massive.

But the only way we really even know, oh, so go to that other underwater photo just to your right, Kyle, where you see its face, up one. You can see there, they're very dark in the water. Yeah. this very menacing face. Yeah. And the only reason we really know anything about them is because deep sea long lines and things have caught them. Otherwise, we really don't know anything about them.

So this is the only place really. I think there's one other place that it's happened a couple times. But it's the only place really that in the world you can get in the water and see small two sand tigers. That's crazy. So wait, why didn't, I'm actually surprised that you haven't done this as a shark week. Well, I sent Kyle the deck when I wanted to set up this, um, this, uh, the, the, uh, the this mystery. But basically, I pitched it. The network said we really like it. The way that I wanted to do the ending was in a submersible. So I even found a boat that would leave out of Costa Rica,

pick us up, and have a submersible, meaning a submarine. Yeah. Yeah. And I think the general note and feedback we got was, oh, we don't like submarines on Shark Week. They're not exciting enough. You're not immersed enough. And I was like, no problem. We'll just do it without the submarine. and then funnily enough a few years later a competitor of mine did a show called Hunt or no mine was Hunt for the Melpello

Monster and his was called Melpello Monster X and it followed literally my outline and I was like eh something a little fishy going on here pun intended literally fishy Did they find the Sand Tiger? I didn't see the show Oh yeah

I've heard this story before We should watch it We should watch back I've heard this story before mostly from Edwin talking about it But he thinks that it could potentially be a big-eye sand tiger. Is there anything to that? I wouldn't take, I mean, Forrest?

What did I put in my deck? I don't remember. I'm pretty sure it's a small tooth. Is Edwin a shark expert? He really is. I mean, not in the sense of... Oh, I mean, that thing is crazy. So I am glad that he brought it up because this thing is monstrous.

Well, here, what does Andy Merch say it is? Because nobody knows more about documenting sharks. than animals. That thing is heinous. It might be uglier than hyena. Type in Andy Murchmell-Pello. Let's see what he... So Andy Murch, do you guys know who this guy is? No.

Probably one of the coolest dudes in the entire world. So he has... Nice. He has a couple different websites, Big Fish Expedition, Sharksandrays.com, alasmo diver, all his stuff. Andy is on a mission to photograph every species of shark in the world like that one.

That's him. and I've done, I did my Japan show with him. Oh, don't show that online. That had my phone number on it, Kyle. It was fine, you can blur it out. Sorry about that. Will you remember? Yes.

Sorry about that. Anyway, Andy is on this hunt to go around the world and document as many species of shark as humanly possible. And he's got hundreds of sharks in the water photographed. Does he, so, is he finding unknown sharks or? He's the first person to dive with and photograph probably. like 20 or 30 species. So stuff they knew about,

but they've never seen photographed before. No one's ever dove with them before. So he just travels the world. And he does all elasmabranks, meaning sharks and rays. So the last time I talked to him, he just got back from an Amazon expedition. And he's like, yeah,

photographed four new stingray species. Wow. Yeah. Can I read you a review of what your competitor put out? Sure. May have copied your outline. Sure, please. The legend gained renewed mainstream attention

during television features like Discovery Channel's Shark Week and Expedition X where researchers went out to look for the Malpello they ventured into the depths opinions on social media remain mixed

as noted many viewers immediately recognized the Malpello Monster Shark as a sand tiger shark feeling the show overhyped its mysterious nature though others acknowledged its impressive size

but see that's the difference between my shows and these other ones is they would have made the cryptid, a cryptid, and really, and I wouldn't have. I would have dispelled it early in the show and then been like, right, now we're on the hunt for something super cool. We know what it is.

And that's why people like my shows, because I don't wait until the end of Act 5 to go, oh, wow, it's this, when we knew all along, you know? It's more, it's more educational in an entertaining way, but it's not like, you don't feel like you're being let on and duped, man, because I hate that when I'm watching something. And the problem with that, and I'm not going to talk about who my quote competitor is here or anything else, but the problem with that is they know what it is. They knew what it was before they went to Columbia.

Right. Just because a quick five second Google search tells you what it is. So I also know what it is. So what would I do? I'd be like, I'm here to investigate the Melpello Monster. Hey, Sandra, the researcher, what is it? Oh, it's a big eye. It's a small two sand tiger.

Cool. Let's go find that. That's super rare and it doesn't exist anywhere else and show why it's. this. Not I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared, what is it, what is it? Oh, there it is. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's, it's a different style. Is that thing dangerous at all? No. It looks super not dangerous at all to me. None of the sand tigers are. They're big and menacing looking. And I mean, this is an amazing shot, even though whoever shot this doesn't know how to color footage. Um, is this guy tagging it? I don't know what he's doing. Yeah, yeah, he's throwing a tag in it. I think that was Sandra maybe. Was it? Oh, well, that would

make sense. Yeah, that's great. So one of the lines there, she's going towards it, and someone goes, make sure it's not aggressive. Yeah, I mean, and that's why they get criticism for being overhyped stuff. Because in my show, I would be like, wow, this is amazing. And in their show, there's fake wild lines. Like, I don't know how you make sure something is not aggressive. You know what I mean?

Yeah, like, how can you eat in the nose? Like, basically, if you were saying that about a cat, you might just like go to pet it and see it bites you. Sure. Stakes are pretty low. Yep. A dog, you kind of tell by its body language, is it growling at your teeth? I don't know how you test for a 17-foot shark to see.

You can already see in its body language there that it's just very lazily swimming over the reef. It was the first thing Pat said. He's like, way, is that aggressive? Because it looks like my grandpa when he was 89 with a cane. It looks like a cod. You know what's interesting about that is neither of you and you more than maybe the average person, anything about shark body language. Sure, yeah. And yet both of you can look at that video and see that it's not aggressive. And the mistake that producers and networks and things like that make

is they'll look at it and go, oh, it's big, make it scary. Yeah. But we as human beings, even though we haven't studied shark body language, and I could sit here and explain how the pectoral fins have to be locked and the back has to be arched and the head has to be down and all these things that are the actual cues, neither of you need to know any of that. And you can still look and go, oh, it's not aggressive. We have that as human beings. We have that instinct to look at a predator and understand its body language as aggressive

or not aggressive. Not all of us. No, we do. We do intrinsically. I don't know. I watched that one lady walk up to that to that bison in yellow stone. That was the dude. The guy got flipped? No, no. Not that guy. The lady who was on the motorcycle. Yeah, she got off to take a picture with it.

She walked right up. She really wanted to get portrait mode for the win. That was real dumb. Um, dude, I got a little joy for you guys. Okay. Because this, uh, I just pulled this move out. Uh-huh. Pretty sore.

Better luck next time. No. This is not. Not yet. This is fantastic. And I don't think any of you are doing this. Okay. And I, I need you to get on board.

Okay. Okay. So, you know, obviously we're, we're in September now. Yeah. We're, we're steering straight down the hill looking at fall time. Yeah, it's crazy. Holiday season. Halloween decorations everywhere.

Football season is on. You've already seen some? Everywhere. Oh, okay. Go to your local grocery store. Oh, yeah, but have you seen houses set up yet? No, no, no houses yet. Oh, my God.

No, but this is, you got candy corns everywhere. They're not out yet. They will be. But what I did, because I was, I guess I was feeling like the Monday scaries on yesterday. Two days ago. That was actually a week ago. So I'm just pretending. So what I did was I ordered.

Do you know how like Christmas trees just make you feel great? Yeah. I ordered two pre-lit Halloween trees. Wow. That's not a thing. Oh, yes it is. Kyle, go ahead and to find me what a Halloween tree.

I literally took my deuce today. I got them. My wife went and did something with the kids. I put up two six-foot-tall Halloween trees. Mine don't look like that. What do yours look like? One is like a, it's like a spooky looking maple tree. It's six feet tall.

I love that. And it's pre-lit with orange lights. And then I got one that's a pine tree, but it's like, it's like tall and skinny and like very wispy and kind of like, spooky. But dude, got them both, got them on either side of the TV. Yeah. Pre-lit? It's just, dude, it's like an early excuse to have a Christmas tree up in your living

room. Dude, turn all the lights off. It's so cozy in there. I gotta see where, what, can you send me a link? I'd love to surprise my family with pre-lit hall.

They'll be, for you, it's an expectation. Like, you're a psychopath and you put up trees for every event. If it involves lighting, Pat is, is on it. Last year,

he texted me that you got a Fourth of July tree. I don't even know what that is. is. Dude, let me tell you something. I've been having a... This is a good move, guys.

A black tree. And like the second you said it, I was like, yeah, yeah. It's a tree time. Why not a fucking lit up tree during Halloween? Yeah.

It works at Christmas. I feel great. It's black, so it's spooky. Yeah. And the lights are shaped like jackal lanterns. No, I got to see this. Is this a target purchase?

Where did you find? Guy ball online. Interesting. But yeah, I've got two of them up. It's completely changed the vibe. I mean, I know it's only the middle of September right now. Yeah.

But I think, I think it's a must have. After, after I leave the studio today, I'm going to hit up Vaughans or Rouse, one of the grocery stores around here. And I am just going to buy candy. No, shovel an entire bag of candy corn down my throat. I'm going to pound it in like you did those muffins. Pour it. Just pour it while you're driving. Oh, it sounds so good.

I'm so hungry right now. I have no idea. Dude, isn't it? It is like crazy that it was still in August. and CVS already was full Halloween. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah.

Two plus months in advance. I'm trying to remember. It just keeps getting, the margin keeps getting longer. I went to buy ice to go fishing, and it was 104 degrees out, and we were going fishing in, like, mid to late August,

and there was a huge Halloween display, and I was like, what is happening? Yeah. Halloween hadn't even crossed my mind yet. I think there might be something like, like, the sociology of, like, America. Like, people are needing,

festivities more. And so it's just moving earlier and earlier. Like CVS clearly these stores have data that's saying like well last year we did

September 15th and people were buying this shit it's crazy. Let's go to the 12th this year. Fucking July 5th. Yeah, let's go. There's zero question, man. And I mean they got you.

And now they're going to get me. I didn't buy it at a brick and mortar store because I don't support local businesses. That's smart. Yeah, yeah. Only go for the big online. retailers.

I did want to get to one more thing because I thought this was a fun thing that somebody sent me a DM on Instagram. Oh, by the way, Kyle, it's probably too late. Never mind. I fucked that up. Somebody wanted to start to reboot the Wild Times Fantasy League. Ah. But yeah, it's too late now.

Maybe a little late for that. Yeah. I thought this was a good question. Somebody asked me to ask you this for us. Okay. Have you ever been filming for a show? Once or twice? And you're on camera, so you're thinking about what you're saying, what you're doing, how you're blocking for the camera and all that stuff.

Interacting with an animal. Where you then kind of realized either in the moment or after the fact that you had fucked something up. Like where you're like, wow, I turned my back. I put my hand in the wrong place. Oh, yeah. But my left was hanging under my shirt. Oh, yeah. A bunch of times.

viewing at home wouldn't know. Yeah, a bunch of times. There's two that come to mind. And the one I just did recently, and I couldn't believe I did it, it was worse than saying out or out, out of space. I was talking about basking sharks and I called it a planktonorovor or something like that. And I just said it like it was a statement, like that was the word, like not planktivore, planktonervor or something like that. And then I didn't even know I'd said it. And then I saw it in the cut and I was like, yeah, we have to lose a sentence completely. That's not even a word. But the one that comes to mind more than anything you were standing there for was, you know, I want to preface this story by saying this. I know, and I talked about this on a recent thing with Andrew Schultz, the comedian on his podcast.

I know that most people that get hurt with wildlife get hurt when they drop their guard. They get hurt due to complacency, right? Oh, I'm comfortable with a rattlesnake. I've caught thousands of them. I'm comfortable with a shark. I've swam with hundreds of them. Whatever it happens to be. Yeah, yeah. And so I try and remind myself of this every single time I'm dealing with something dangerous, don't turn your back, don't blank, don't blank, don't blank, don't be complacent. Even though I know, like, to me, it's like I could do this with my eyes closed at this point. You know, say it's catching a rattlesnake.

Yeah. But I try and tell myself as I go into it, okay, even though you've done this 100 times, remember this, remember this, remember this. And I swear that's helped me not make mistakes. The time that could have been much worse than it was, times. One, I was actually with Kyle and I was picking up a fur to lines, which I would have lost my whole hand for sure. And we have a

video of that and it's, Fang missed me by probably this far as it went for my hand. And the thing I fucked up there is I was presenting on camera, I was showing off about this snake and I forgot that if that snake wriggles in a weird way and tries to bite you, don't release because the release

is usually when they come around to get you. Instead... Like if you toss it? Yeah, don't try and throw it. Instead, hold your grip even tighter. So right here, You can see watch he starts to open his mouth. And he goes towards my hand right there. You see that? Oh, yeah.

And I threw him. And had I, fuck, I got very lucky in this scenario. Watch right here. Do you see how that fang starts to come out and almost gets my finger? Yeah. What I could have done is inched my finger up and turned his head and I would have been fine. But instead, I did what you're not supposed to do, which is release it. And it's very, very lucky that that fang didn't go into my finger.

100% would have lost the finger. Very good chance I would have lost the hand and could have easily died of how far out we were. So why did you let it go? Were you losing your grip? Yeah, I mean, I saw him opening his mouth and coming at me and it was my knee jerk reaction. Okay.

And to be clear, for anybody watching this, I highly regret doing any of this. I regret picking up that snake. Not picking up the snake. I wanted to pick up the snake and show it off. I should have never pinned this snake. There was no reason for it. I had my hook.

I could have shown off the snake without grabbing it by the head. my kids and wife were standing 10 feet behind the camera watching this. Okay. I should not have done this. And that was a bad mistake. And we all make mistakes. And I'm glad I will try and remember now and learn this lesson and not do this. The other one that I did that you were with me for, and Kyle might be able to find it.

I don't know if there's a clip online was when Scott Stanley, I was feeding the shark in the Bahamas. And Scott Stanley said, hey, I think you were there for this, right? Oh, maybe you weren't. No, I don't remember. Anyway, I was feeding sharks off the back of the boat at Tiger Beach And Scott Stanley said, hey, let me take a photo And my reaction was to look at him Instead of pay attention to what I was doing

But I looked for just enough time To then remember to look back And I saw this lemon shark coming at my hand with its mouth open And I pulled my hand back And had I not pulled my hand back I would have undeniably had my hand shredded And I caught one tooth on the way back And that's a one-tooth scar from the left

lemon shark. Close, dude. Were you there? I don't remember. I was not there. That was the other trip. Okay. And it was so, so close because

that was me dropping my guard. I'm literally feeding sharks. Scott goes, hey, I want to take a photo. So I look for the photo and go, fuck, I can't look. I'm feeding sharks and come back. And I see this shark's mouth like this. And I just go like that.

And I caught one tooth right there in the arm. Kyle, it's definitely on my Instagram. Forrest Galante's shark bite Instagram. Did you make Scott feel bad about it? No, I didn't blame him at all. I just, I just bandaged it up with duct tape and got on with the shoot. But yeah, I mean, I got nailed. Yeah, there's a lot of blood.

I remember seeing it. Yeah. Did we put it in the show? There it is right there. Yeah, that's a nasty gash, dude. That's one tooth. Imagine it clamps down. Did you have to get stitches on that?

No, I should have. That's why it's got such a big scar. But instead, I wrapped it with cloth and duct tape. Whoa, man. So Lemon Sharks are notorious dickheads. Sneaky. as we always say on the show

like they must have that but yeah that right there and Kyle put this in so people can learn from this that was me dropping my guard and that is the definition of complacency hey look here okay

oh shit you don't have that time you do not have that fraction of a second to look away if you're working with dangerous animals you know you're I'm sorry I have to say this but you look like a ventriloquist dummy there

why it's up of your face I don't know I just been bitten by shark Yeah, but you got a giant... He lost a lot of blood. It's because you're fake smiling, that's why. No, I was real smiling. No, those teeth are fake, though.

That's true. The teeth were installed in Porta Viata. I'm stalled. All right. All right. Should we go get some lunch? I got a urine. I'm starving.

I get a snake steak ball. You're not because you don't eat for multiple hours. I might order three muffins as soon as we walk in. Get out, everybody. Thank you, everybody. Check out the bonus pods. We do four a month. That's right.

Wild Times. Dot Club forward slash info for all that info. Can't they just single click it on Spotify or Apple too? Yeah, the smart ones can. Sure. All right. That's not for me. I like the hard way.

Good night, everybody. I can't wait to get a muffin up my ass. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad. I get it. I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I And today I'm still figuring it out.

Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem.