Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #27 - Devil's Island, 3D Printed Sea Turtle Eggs, & Charly Jordan

Episode Date: October 12, 2020

Social media influencer turned conservationist Charly Jordan joins us for another adventure. Don't forget to check it out on Youtube. Listen/Watch everywhere @ https://linktr.ee/wildtimespod We love you!

And we are back. Episode 27 of the Wild Times podcast, ladies and gentlemen, if you're joining us for the first time, you're on tonight with myself, the broologist, Mr. Forrest Galante. To my left on my screen anyway is the Brofester. Retep. What's up, Retap? Cheers, mates. Happy to be here. You look lovely tonight. I'm digging your camouflage headband and your sleeveless shirt. It's a nice ensemble. I just came up. I just came back from Chicago. I am the best looking person in the Midwest. Nice. For all intents and purposes. I believe that. I really do.

And on my right, I have the producer, longtime personal buddy, producer of Animal Planet's hit show Extincter Alive, Mr. Patrick Calucah. Whoa. How are you, dude? Good. I like that me and you both for the first time have shirts with sleeves on ever. I'm doing this podcast. Because we have a guest today. Right.

And Peter is essentially wearing lingerie. I'm surprised he's actually wearing that much. Listen to me. Guys, I am me. You guys want to put out this image, do all these things. That's fine. That's how you guys are. And that's cool.

But I am the every man layman. And I'm here to relate to the people. And they like looking at a guy in lingerie. You are lame. I will give you that. You are the lame man. It's layman. Layman.

Lain man. Got it. How was Chicago, Peter? Tell us about your trip. Oh, my God. I loved it. I was obviously texting you guys pictures and just having a great time. But I will say that the plane and traveling is a brutal.

I don't know how long, if you guys have been on any long flights during the pandemic with the masks. And we had to take a shuttle to the fucking airport. the guy gets on the shuttle no mask and I'm just viscerally angry the entire time I can't help it because it's like it's this new world and it's like the most disrespectful thing in the fucking world dude to just be like a smug prick on a confined bus

I was just like I don't know what I'm going to do I'm going to freak out so that was the first start of the trip but once I got to Chicago man amazing fall brisk out cool weather And my girlfriend grew up in L.A. And I took her to some like suburbs of Chicago. So she sat, which is much different from L.A.

She loved it. I loved it. Can't beat it. You go to the North Shore. Oh, yeah. No, I got deep dish. Yes, Pat. Many, twice, I believe.

It was the first thing we did when we got in town. Oh, quick shout out to thrifty car rental. Fuck you. Nobody ever used them. They're all this sponsor. I was like, that's weird. No, I'm bashing them. I'm bashing them.

They're awful. I haven't gotten this set from thrifty, dude. What are you talking about? I'm a budget man myself. That was good, though, Ben. Yeah, yeah, it was good. My first time I ever went to Chicago, my best friend from university grew up in Chicago,

and he's like, come out, come out, it'll be great. We'll have fun this summer. We'll go camping, blah, blah. And we did, and we had a great time. The first time I ever went to Chicago, I landed there, and I was like, the only thing I know about Chicago is deep dish pizza. I got to have deep dish pizza.

My buddy Nick was like, it's not that good, man. I'm like, no, I got to have it. And I was like, let's go. So he takes me to like Giordanos or Giovanni's or something. Yeah, Giordano. Yeah, there we go. This like famous deep dish pizza place. And he's like, order what you want.

So I order it. And first of all, apparently I order way too many toppings because deep dish pizza is like two toppings. It's not like 11 toppings. Like a tough knows. So he's like, that's not how you do it. So this fucking thing arrived. It's this thick, right? And, uh, wasagna style.

Right, it's lasagna style. That's a very good way to put it. Except it's just that much fucking cheese. So you eat a slice of pizza and you're essentially just eating a brick of melted cheddar cheese, which is like if you go into your fridge, you grab that big yellow block that's sitting in that crisper draw that every now and then you thinly slice a shaving off of and just put it in the microwave and eat it with a fucking spoon with some bread. That's what you're, that's what deep dish pizza is. It's so good, dude, but God damn it. It is, it makes you ill.

I've never felt so sick from eating in my life after eating three slices of Chicago Deep Dish pizza. Three slices. We don't even do that out there. Who is saying? Yeah, it was disgusting. And it was, yeah, and I mean, now I get why they're all so fat out there. So, yeah, it makes sense. Hey now.

Hey, now, they're getting thinner out there, man. People are looking better and better in the Midwest. It's much different than it was all those years ago when I grew up there. People are cognizant of their appearance out there. there much more than they used to be. Shout out Chicago. So, Forrest doesn't know what in pizza. Last night, you missed out on some real hijinks. Forrest was in on this. So I get a text from a friend who lives up in near Big Bear Lake.

And she says that she goes into the upstairs bathroom and both of her cats are going bonkers in the bathroom. there is an animal drowning in the toilet that she has no idea how it got into the house. It was a flying squirrel. A flying squirrel was drowning in the toilet. So she texts me and asked me to ask Forrest what to do because they'd taken it out of the toilet and they'd put it on a blanket and it's just biting this blanket and it looked really bad. It wasn't opening its eyes. She's really worried. So I said, Forrest.

And he says, what did you say to do for us with this wet, drowned flying squaw? I said, wrap it in a soft cloth and put it against your tum-tum so that it warms up and make sure that its head is covered. It's likely got hypothermia, to which Kristen did. Yeah. So then, so I, first of all, she's pregnant. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, she is. So I'm like, I copy and paste what Forrest wrote, which is to wrap this wild rodent in a cloth and hold.

it against your bare skin to warm it up while covering its head as it's trying to bite you. Right. Your bear tum-tum while you're pregnant. She does it because her husband is like, I'm not doing that. So she holds it against her pregnant tum-tum, warms it up. It apparently starts looking livelier, getting thrashier, and they freed it, and it went and climbed a tree and went away. Which is saved a life. Fuck yeah, dude.

There's also only two species of flying. squirrel native to California and I've never seen either one. They're both like super rare and hard to find. Wow. Yeah, I've never seen one. She said she actually did send me a picture. It's fucking weird looking animal. Yeah, that's awesome. I'm glad I'm you text to me at 3 a.m. and said it was fine. So I was psyched to hear that. But it's funny because like I'm I'm the worst of anyone with text. You will if I text you about like something like related to a project or something, there's a good chance it's going to take you a day to get back. If I text do like an animal SOS, it's just instant dot, dot, dot.

You're not even done writing before you get a response. Yeah, exactly. You've never gotten back to me fast. I did literally have my phone at hand when I got that text. But yeah, that was, I'm nice. And that was awesome. And Kristen and Scott, good job, you guys. And congrats on the little nino.

You should name it flying squirrel. The little mean, you know. Good shit. So we have a guest coming on in a few. Should we do a couple pieces of news? Wildlife, what's in the news? Yeah, that sounds fun. That sounds good to me.

There's something I'm super excited about. So I'll dig right into it with what's in the news. One of my favorite animals in the world is the Tasmanian devil. The first time I ever got to see them was on the very first episode of Extincter Alive. And I went to Tasmania, looked at these incredible creatures. in a kind of rehab facility, but I got to see them. We caught one on our trail camera. Super cool, crazy-looking creature, crazy mouths, big carrion eaters. Well, something that most people don't realize is the Tasmanian devil used to occur on mainland

Australia up until about 3,000 years ago. And right around the time the thylacine disappeared from mainland Australia, the Tasmanian tiger, so did the Tasmanian devil. Now, as a carrion eater, as a carrion being dead things, they help clean out the environment. So for the first time in 3,000 years, after a ton of work, after a 20-year study and ongoing thing, 37 Tasmanian devils have been released into a thousand-acre reserve that's completely natural. They removed all the invasive species. There's nothing out there but kangaroos and wallabies and who knows what else, Australia creatures. And they brought in these 37 Tasmanian devils and let them go.

on mainland Australia for the first time in 3,000 years, which I think is just super exciting to see. It's actually, there's a little bit of controversy, which I'll bring up in a moment. But look at Lemley. But so it's first time in 3,000 years they've been reintroduced. But I think what's interesting about is we don't know what happened 3,000 years ago that eradicated them.

You know, we can assume that it had something to do with the dingo, like it did the thylacine, but we really don't know. So it's going to be pretty interesting as a case study to see what happens with the reintroduction of these animals. And the hope by a bunch of scientists is that because the Tasmanian devils are just such voracious little eaters that they will actually help with the invasive species problem. They'll knock out some of the foxes, the cats, the cane toads, all these crazy invasive species that Australia is subject to.

Very cool. One thing that's, some Tasmanian devils have that really unique, like, facial tumor disease. What is what to deal with that? It's something that like I've picked up bits and pieces of, but I don't know a whole lot about it. I've seen the photos. It's very weird. Yeah, it's awful. A percentage, right? It is.

It's a huge percentage. Will, if you're able to pull up a picture, it's actually pretty grotes. So it's an actual form of herpes that these Tasmanian devils get and they transfer them with contacts. Yep, just like you, Peter. Last week's Battle Royale. That's right. And they transfer them

with contact and it can be lethal. not can be. It is lethal to them unless treated. And unfortunately, it's, you know, it's like the herpes virus. So contact transfers it. And a lot of them have it. I don't know what the percentage is, probably in the high 90s. And it really knocked down the population of Tasmanian devils to the point that the government of Tasmania actually created a security colony on an island where they just literally dumped a bunch on an island that didn't have the disease.

And they're like, no matter what happens, there will always be this population here without the disease. Oh, yikes. There's a photo of one if you're watching on YouTube. Oh, my goodness. A lot of times it kills them because it either makes it so that they're blind or covers their mouth so they can't actually eat. Right. Yeah.

No, it's... Pet. It's a bumsy, man. It's weird because in my opinion, it looks exactly like what I imagine Peter's ex-wife to look like. 100%. Yeah. But I know that I just tracked. It's my, oh my God.

I know you were tracking when I was just about to say. I was going to say to Pat that it looks just like our friend Ethan. Oh, interesting. It does actually quite a bit. Well, that's a hideous, heinous thing. We're about to have a beautiful thing join us. And what I mean by that is my personal friend, Charlie Jordan, Instagram model, super famous in the modeling circle.

I'm not going to give away why she's joining us, but she is about to hop on the call with us right now at 8 p.m. join us and tell us a little bit about the reason that she's here on the wild times, the reason that she's here to talk about wildlife with us as an Instagram model as a social media influencer. And I think it's going to be a really cool call. All right. So joining us right now is my personal friend Charlie Jordan, Charlie, world-renowned model and Instagram social media influencer. And she's got some very exciting stuff to tell us about. So we're excited to have you. Welcome, Charlie. Thank you so much for having me on.

It's nice to meet all you guys and chat with everyone. Yeah, it's exciting. Where are you right now? Is that like a dressing room? Is that your closet? This is my bedroom, actually. So obviously, you guys know with everything that's happening with Corona. My workspace, my living space, everything is kind of all in one and everything I do is from home.

So I have my, like, different corners of my bedroom that have everything that I focus on. There's, like, turntables back there. We have clothes right here, all my Polaroids right there. And soon and there's going to be an entire library of biology books because Charlie is going to be working on some wildlife conservation. Yes. So basically when I first got into traveling,

I worked with this charity group slash animal habitat awareness group called Carmgawa. Timothy Sykes is the one who started that. He's a good friend of mine. And for the first year that I traveled, we basically partnered with tourism boards all over the world and would do, you know, local charity work. that we went, whether it was working with pencils of promise or, you know, going to Turks and

Caicos because there was a hurricane and there were, you know, stray dogs or dead dogs everywhere. We worked with a lot of animal rights groups. We went to South Africa and did we work with cheetahs that are being born with Cleft-Flip, and we went to all these amazing places and helped all these amazing people and animals, just depending on where it was needed. And then after a year of doing that with him, it was really fun being a part of other people's organizations. And he was a inspiration to me, but at some point I started wanting to step into doing stuff on my own. And for like a year there, I started my own agency and started doing stuff, but quickly found that there's a lot more politics within this community than I had realized previously.

And I was talking to the first a bit about that. And it's why I wanted to reach out to him because he has so much experience with, you know, doing it correctly and properly. And I was so inspired by everything that he was doing. So it was really cool to hear everything that you told me. Oh, stop it. Oh, stop it. Yeah, he gets enough of that bullshit from everyone else.

We've had some rants. I mean, we've had some massive rants on the show about dealing with the politics within the wildlife and conservation circles. Mostly for me. I'm usually the angry one for us to just handles things and takes care of it. I just try and be a bit more calm about it and not completely alienate all of my colleagues. But, yeah, no, I mean, it is tough. And, you know what? It's tough for good purpose.

I think that's what's so great about the way that you're approaching it, Charlie, is the people that manage wildlife and conservation, there's certainly egos involved and there's certainly other problems, but if there wasn't regulation, everywhere would be a Joe Exotic Zoo, right? And that would be, I mean, maybe not everywhere, because that was pretty bad, but it would not be good if everything that slapped the label conservation on it was a place like Joe Exotic Zoo. So, you know, it is good that there is regulation. And I'm, I'm stoked. So just, so you guys have some background in all of our brosners, which is what we call our listeners, Charlie, it's very childish.

And just so everybody is 40. Yeah. That's just me, but yeah. I'm going to need like a bro nickname at the end of this. Oh, yes. That's important. But yeah, broadly. So everybody listening knows Charlie is,

Charlie is working with me to begin sort of a, how would you put it, Charlie, like a direction in conservation? Yes. So, and I will be the first student, like you're saying, like, it's important that there are policies in place. And I got into it at a very young age. I was 18 when I started traveling. So I was basically just doing, you know, learning by experience. And especially with the industry that I'm in, you know, like I was able to, because I did model.

I always try to work with companies like Tentree, you know, which is this local company in Canada that plants 10 trees for every piece of products sold. And they did reforesting in Madagascar. And I would always try to work with all these amazing groups. But it was, like I said, other people's initiatives, and I wasn't actually directly involved. It was more just a part of the business. You know, it's like, where does that money go? It wasn't as hands-on. And being hands-on is something I'm super interested in.

And I can admit to myself, you know, there are times where, you know, I did go and do volunteer tourism with people. And, like, I want to do it properly. And that's why I'm trying to take the steps to get into this realm that you guys are in where I can hopefully use my page to bring awareness. And there's so many people within my industry. that have such powerful influence. And I think when I first got into social media, it was a little bit more about that. I think people were really taking steps to try to bring awareness to things.

But it was always like these one-off projects where they would promote something and do something, but it wasn't consistent over time. And it's like, oh, was that like a paid thing? Was that actually genuine? Like, you don't really know. So what I want to do with my page is really integrate over a long-term period just different projects and information.

And I think bringing awareness is just the first step because, you know, I was talking to Forest and he's like, oh, yeah, there's a purple searitch in overgrowth in California. I'm like I literally would have had absolutely no idea, you know, like in majority of people have absolutely no idea. So bringing that awareness is the first step. And there's so many people that do want to help. They just don't know where to start.

And I think especially for this upcoming generation, just the way the world is going, it's very, we're so disconnected from everything and very removed from what the, real world is and I just want to in the small way that I'm super lucky and grateful to be able to share with people like I just want to I guess use my platform to to spread positivity and and something that is going to make an impact and Forrest was telling me he's like I've dedicated my whole life to doing this and this whole new wave of social media is something that's very interesting especially during quarantine that we've seen it's a whole new way to market people to reach people and yeah I want to

start doing conservation efforts and just educating myself is the first step and I was telling forest that I'm like I'm not going to just jump it I know what I'm doing by any means and that's the first step right it's like admitting like hey I need to learn and educate myself and understand this process so that's what I want to do over next who knows how long I'm definitely throwing her in with sharks literally and figure it definitely yeah yeah the first step that's you go out with forest and fight a crocodile right not really fighting It's just sort of, it's like a play wrestle. Yeah.

Wrangling. It's just cuddle it. It's just get a little cuddle. It's cute. All right, so you're 18 years old and you've already sort of, no, no, sorry, I'm saying back when you started traveling. So you, she was 18, she was 18, Pat. I understand this.

So you'd already built up a following at that point, right? When you first started kind of doing this big traveling with Sykes. So I'd only had 100,000 followers. It really wasn't that much. And I guess at the time, it was, but I was growing very quickly, and I had done a couple modeling jobs with companies that were specific to habitat conservation. And so he kind of hit me up and started traveling with him.

And he's honestly, like, it was so crazy to hear his story because he's a penny stock trader. And he, you know, turned a couple grand into millions of dollars. And he was basically teaching seminars of how you can trade stocks from anywhere all over the world. Is this your friend Jordan Belford that we're talking about? similar vibes. But, you know, there's a lot of guys that end up, you know, cracking the code of, you know, Wall Street or investing or stock trading and they have all this money and they are still unhappy.

And that's kind of where he got in his life. Sure. And it was kind of an inspirational story because he had all this money and he could have, you know, continued to teach all these classes, but he instead pretty much just dedicated his life to traveling around the world. And he's built, I mean, as far as like working with pencils of promise, especially with kids. Like he's built more schools than pretty much anybody that I know.

And he then got into Animal Habitat Conservation as well. And just was like so in awe. And like once he realized all that, he saw the social media space and wanted to bring influencers on his trips with him to bring awareness to it. This was before it was an official charity or anything. We literally traveled for like a year and built this page up on Instagram to a million followers, which is a lot for a charity page.

That's a lot. And they post pretty graphic, like really graphic stuff of animals, you know, whether that's, I don't remember where it was specifically, but I just remember he's really not afraid to post anything. And it's kind of brutal to watch, but it's very important that people see, like, the whale swatters, you know, where do they kill? I can't remember where it is. Faroe Islands. The Faroe Islands, yes. He posts about that every year and just everything else. And it's people kind of come at him because of how, because of the brutal nature of stuff that he posts on the page.

It's a bit controversial. But it's like, this stuff is happening all the time. And he was really inspiring to me. And he still continues to do work. It's obviously a bit more low key. He doesn't bring influencers anymore because he already built the page up. But for me, like I said, I'm just really interested long term. I'm really passionate about marine biology and the ocean just.

In general, most of the places I've traveled to have been tropical. I've spent a lot of time doing beach cleanups, a lot of time, free diving, a lot of time in the ocean. I lived in Costa Rica for three years of my life growing up where I learned to surf. And I went to like an international school there, and I think that sort of sparked my love for the ocean just in general. Yeah. And being able to travel, I have been able to see how much garbage and plastic and crap is in the ocean. And it's just really sad. Some of the most beautiful places I've been,

it was just disturbing to see how much trash. Go ahead. What's that, Peter? Yeah, it's crazy. Forrest was just talking about, on the last podcast when you were talking about how you were just out, you know, diving, and you found just 10 bags of,

Oh my God. Yeah, Charlie, I didn't tell you about this. In the ocean, and it turned out to be the best movie. Between when I had lunch with you and, and this podcast, I went out like 400, like we were like 130 miles offshore. We did a 400 mile loop and picked up 10 garbage bags filled with plastic trash. Just the people had discarded off of their, off of their boats, which was absolutely horrific. And anyway, yeah, that's what Peter's talking about.

Yeah, I don't know. I think people, especially right now, with the survival mentality of like, oh, everyone's out for themselves. Like the world has gone from like, this is a we issue. this isn't all of us issue to sort of everyone's like survival mode of like I just need to take care of myself and although this is a hard time and everybody is very focused on protecting themselves like we just cannot continue to think that way like you know dumping trash off a boat because it's convenient or whatever like that's being removed from the world like they don't care if animals eat that trash and die or if it blooms the ocean it's like it's going to take so many people

like a community and that's that's really what I'm trying to focus on it takes so many people to make that change. It's not just one person. It's not just me. Like I can't, it's not just for us. It's not just one of you guys. It has to be so, so many people because there's so many freaking people on this planet. I love what you're doing, Charlie. I'll tell you a quick story. When I was 22 years old, I published my first scientific paper, right? I was still in college. I published my first paper. And I got like 400 reads on it, right? And I was stuck. 400 reads on a scientific paper is pretty sweet. Like, that's a pretty good number. But that's 400. reads from like-minded academics who already know the field, who already know the topic, right?

When I did my first television show, on the first night, that got four million views. And four million views from people that didn't know anything about the subject matter, right? And I was like, wow, one of these two places, I can actually make a difference. And it was that literal exact moment when I saw those numbers that I made the switch from being like an academic scientist to being, you know, like a media scientist, a scientist on TV and not really social media like you, but on the internet and TV and social media and all those places. And one of the things that I love, I am so excited about us working together is the fact that you're going to bring your audience of 20 plus million across all your social channels or

whatever it is to this new world, this world of wildlife science and conservation. You're doing it the right way. You're teaming up with people like us and we're going to team up with other conservation organizations and doing it the right way. You're not just going to go to harp on the same analogy, the Joe Exxonial. place and hold the cute tiger kitten and then like you know toss it over your shoulder and be like next I got the photo you're doing it the right way and that's so exciting I mean you're bringing millions and millions of people into this field probably way more people than Patrick and I get on our television shows you know which

is crazy if you think about it like you have no question that's the crazy thing to think about is like even I mean my generation I was born in what 99 so like I grew up watching TV and that was the main way that people consumed you know information just in general but this new generation, they just don't. It's all through the internet. So like, I've been thinking about this a lot later. I'm like, there needs to be more educational videos, like, proper educational videos on the internet.

But it's also like, I hate that I have to balance it with like people's attention span, right? Like, I love doc and series. I love watching. I can watch Planet Earth for hours, but majority of people, you know, it's like, it's very hard, especially kids. And as they get older, that will get better. But finding creative ways to tie that information in so that they'd be

become interested in that stuff and want to learn more about it and hopefully get to those docu-series and those longer format things at some point. But right now, it's just such an important time, especially because kids aren't in school. They're not like, I'm the oldest of seven kids and pretty much all of my younger siblings are being, are being homeschooled by my mother. And it's like, oh my God. Bless her soul. I know. It's insane. But like, oh my goodness. Getting kids outside of that, bubble. I just remember I loved, love learning about animals growing up. And I wish that, you know, as I started traveling, you know, like I just went to Rwanda a little bit ago. And it's like,

oh, there was a genocide there, you know, 30 years ago where a million people died in a month. And I was never taught about that. I was only taught about 9-11 in the United States. And that was the bubble that I grew up in, you know, versus hearing about stuff that's going on all over the place. When I went there, it's like, oh, they've been dealing with Ebola for the past two years. I already have hand washing stations. They've already been wearing masks. COVID was just another thing to add on top of that. And I think what is cool about, especially what I do is being able to have that mass spread of information, being to streamline everything that you guys have, you know, all the info, everything that you've learned over the past many years and like adapting, right?

Like I think that's the name of the game with anything that we do, you know, from television to social media to anything. So this will just be a cool new way to spread all of this information with everybody. For sure. Do the people who follow you on your social channels, do they seem like when you post something

that is sort of conservation or wildlife focus, do you get the same amount of engagement? Do they seem to be stoked? Do you get less engagement than just like a normal post that's not in that space? I think people typically, it actually usually does better. I think a big part of my focus is story.

I think what the reason people follow me and at least what a lot of people have told me is because of my captions and everything that I do, I always try to put a story behind it. So, you know, with social media, it kind of is what you make it. So whatever you curate, whatever you put out there is the type of people you will attract.

So, you know, I have my fair share of, you know, random dude followers because I do post bikini pictures on the beach because it's 105 degrees outside. And I'm definitely going to be. be in a bikini on the beach. I'm not going to be wearing a parka. That's that problem, too. I do. Yeah, a lot of weirdo guys follow me. That's a big problem. Yeah. We should go dick pick for dick pick sometimes, Charlie. You'd probably win. You really, you really don't want to challenge me on that one. No, I really don't. Right. I don't want to play that

game. Hey, Charlie, I'm really interested in one of your trips. Can you tell me a little bit about when you went to South Africa and you worked with the Cheetahs? with a cleft pallet. So I grew up in Southern Africa, as you know. I've seen Cheetahs my whole childhood. I didn't know that there was a large percentage of them born with a cleft palate. And I'm assuming that's from genetic bottlenecking. What did you do while you were there? What's the solution? Like, I'm super curious. Sorry, I'm just distracted by this cat. Yeah, Lemley.

So when I went out there, it was about two years ago. And I again, went out with the same group. I was with Tim Sykes and Carmigawa. I went out there with Sam Coder and a couple, the Herbert twins, they're from Australia, and it was just a really good group of people who are all very passionate, you know, half the group, we got your vegans, you got your love the animals, everything. Like, it's incredible. Everybody there had their own purpose and sort of mission as to how they wanted to show the story. But we went there initially because there was a drought.

And we were basically carrying water from the old, from the river to the old folks' homes, because water's very heavy. Okay. We brought, Tim brought these huge plastic barrels that were rollable, so you didn't have to carry the water. You could just roll the water. So we basically filled those up for a couple of days and brought those to the old folks homes. And then toward the last half of our trip, we went and drove to, I wish I could remember the name of it. It's definitely in my phone somewhere, but it was a Cheetah Conservation group, basically that focused on driving Cheetahs, two different parts of Africa to breed with each other.

because in areas specific to that area. Oh, wait. Oh, there we are. That's our, that's our, check. I will. Oh, wow. Yeah. Where's the cheetah?

Yeah, that's awesome. So that's one of the cheetahs. Some of the cubs were born in that facility as well, so we got to see some cubs, which is really cool. But mostly what they do, like I said, they focus on swapping cheetahs out so that they can breed properly because they were inbreeding with each other and being born with severe. I mean, cleft lip was one of them, but there were other, you know, with crossbreeding and breeding in general, just severe birth defects in general.

So they basically just weren't surviving and they were dying off. So it was really cool to, sorry, what? No, no, go ahead. Go ahead. Please. I was just saying it was really cool to meet all the people there that were taking, you know, hours and hours and hours and hours out of their week to just drive cheetahs around. I'm like, this is so cool.

It's amazing. I think a lot of people don't realize that cheetahs at one point were nearly extinct because of a couple of diseases. And so they've gone through what we call in biology severe genetic bottlenecking, meaning the population got super duper small. And then as it grew again, they went through this genetic bottleneck where they didn't have a high diversity of genes in the pool. So as more and more animals came about, we had more and more inbreeding problems, which is what happens when you don't have a lot of genetic diversity. and I knew about some of these problems, but the cleft lip thing, I think that's really fascinating. And thank you for doing that. I mean, that's awesome.

Yeah, I mean, it was so cool to learn about. But also, it's just, I think when I would tell people like, oh, yeah, cheetah's about to go extinct, it's like, what? Like, you know, growing up, you're taught that they're one of the fastest, most, like, vicious animals. And then they're actually very light and they're very fragile and beautiful creatures that are not. I mean, they are vicious. Don't get me wrong. but they're also, you know, not anywhere near any other big cats, which I didn't really understand until I got out there. I was like, oh, like they're not, they are predators, but they're, and they're fast, but they, as far as cats go, are probably like one of the weaker ones.

So it was just really cool to actually like learn the facts of Cheetahs and like be close to them and see them. It was honestly a life-changing experience. They're such majestic creatures. So, and I think that that's something that I've also been super lucky to have that most people, I can understand why they feel a bit removed, like actually being able to be with animals and have the opportunity to be in their presence is very different than just seeing pictures and videos of them.

And so that's why, you know, you can't, not everybody is going to be able to have this experience because I hate zoos. And none of not hate them, but, you know, when people just go to take pictures with animals versus seeing them in their natural habitat, I think in, and that for me, especially living in Costa Rica

and being able to live and travel to these places, I saw so many animals in their natural habitats, and going to see the gorillas and seeing like how human-like they were and how emotional animals are. That's sort of really what changed my perspective into this. It's just saying like, you know, they feel and think and deserve everything that we do, which is what I think. Me too.

You know, I think everyone here feels that way. It's very emotional. It's an emotional thing, which is really cool. Yeah. Speaking of Costa Rica, For us, did you see this story? about the scientists in Costa Rica that 3D printed up a bunch of sea turtle eggs It's so cool

Charlie, are you aware of this? What do you mean? All right, so There's an illegal, people are illegally trafficking sea turtle eggs. I have no idea why. So why are they doing this for us? Is it for pets or like, what the fuck are they doing? It's poaching them for food.

They eat sea turtle. All right, so scientists were like, oh shit, there's all these people fucking poaching sea turtles from the beaches in Costa Rica. So they printed up these 3D sea turtle eggs, decoy eggs. And they put tracking devices and microphones in them. And a bunch of them, so they could see them because they would transmit every hour where they were from. And all of a sudden they start seeing that some of them are moving.

They're moving around. And then they're listening and they can hear what the fuck's going on. Wow. So they actually were able to go. one guy went to a house nearby and sold it. They were able to make an arrest there. Another guy took it to a bar 13 kilometers away and sold a C-Turtle like at a bar. Boom, they fucking nailed them.

They busted them. It's pretty cool. Like, what a crazy use of technology. I think C-Turtle espionage is hands-down my favorite type of spy stuff. Yeah, just James Bond C-Turtle espionage. I'm all in. Charlie, let's go to Costa Rica and just put on some nice suits and pretty dresses and just go do sea turtle espionage.

You win? I will literally stake out behind a tree waiting for those people. And make them super uncomfortable. Like, make it like, we got to do like a whole bit. And then like you just, you know, like make them think they're getting away with it. And then we'll, you know, wobble. There you go. Right.

You guys would show up and they'd be like, cool, where are the TV cameras, guys? Obviously you're punking us right now. Yeah. Yeah, this is nonsense. That's so crazy. Like, I just, I mean, I know it. And then that's a huge. human condition free.

You know, it's like people need something. They don't care. Who gets her? What gets her kind of like in the way, which is, you know, animals and habitat just in general, like fall victim to, to that. Like there's just so many, like I was saying, so many people, so many different agendas. And I just think it's important that everybody keeps that in the back of their head.

So at all times. And so it's, you know, it's even small stuff. Like I think people are intimidated by animal conservation and habitat in general because it's like, it is very, it can be intimidated. can be very like preachy if you're like hey you know I did this and this is what I'm a part of and you guys can do this and people are so far removed they feel like they can't even begin to to help so it's like starting off with all stuff like there's another influencer her name is my life is eva and she's really good like every single day talks about single use plastic and how people can

just help you know by doing that and not using water bottles and like just instilling those habits in people and in kids are like yeah to just think about it all the time Yeah. Especially at that younger age, it's important to do it when they're young. Because once you get used to that, it is so hard to get out of it. It's like anything else, like looking at the phone constantly, you grab a bottle of water, you're used to that. That's just what you're doing for the rest of your life, basically.

You know, if they're on track, on the ground, you know, using plastic all the time. Like, it's super, I don't know, even the way that I grew up, you know, just even to the food that you eat. Like I've changed the way I eat after especially learning about like the meat packing industry and just animals in general affected the way that I do eating meat. Not, and I'm not vegan, but just the concept of it like buying something in a grocery store, like you just don't even see that that's like an animal. You're so disconnected.

Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm talking about. Like it's, and just bringing that. So at least people are aware of it. They're thinking about it. And I think that's such a big park. because we've kind of been brainwashed for so long on just the way that we consume food.

And that goes hand in hand with just like, I think animal habitat conservation in general. Like that's a very like person involved thing like the meatpacking industry. But that just goes to show how we treat the rest of the world and how we treat animals and habitat in general. Like that's a very basic first level thing. And there's, I mean, you literally talk about this stuff forever. I could talk about this stuff forever. but the difference talking about it and actually doing something.

And that's what we're working on. Charlie, I have a question for you. So you said you were born in the late 90s. You grew up watching Animal TV in the early 2000s. Do you ever watch a show called Whale Wars? Yes. You did? Did you like that show?

No. Ha ha, Zing. Well, Patrick sitting next to you there was the executive producer of that show. He was the, what's that? She hated. it. Yeah, well, you made it, of course. Well, it was a sad show. We showed whales getting harpooned in the show. Of course, yeah. And the sea shepherds are a little bit hateable. There's no doubt. I mean,

they, you know, Paul Watson is a little bit of a psychopath. Fair enough. But the reason I brought that up is I was just thinking, Patrick, as, you know, someone who's been producing media and wildlife content for, you know, a decade or more now, any kind of thoughts for Charlie. I mean, I know it's a whole different world in social media, but as a producer of this stuff, like any thoughts for Charlie with regards to moving forward and creating content that people can relate to?

No, I think it's like, well, first of all, like you said for us, like, I mean, back in the whale wars days, we were consistently getting four million viewers every episode. Cable TV is down to like, you're fucking thrilled if you get a million people, right?

Right. So like, just the platform and the fact that you can use a different type of platform. You know, obviously you're so aware of people's attention span and stuff like that. No, I mean, I think just like good content and actually going out and doing like for me, it's always just been actually doing stuff that's really hard, which you're already doing, right? Like you've already gone to Uganda. It's super easy, like he said, go like Petachita Cup. Cool, next, whatever. But I think like hard to get to, hard to reach places are super cool. And then people see someone they look up to and they're like, oh shit, like that took a lot of work.

Like, even the dumbest viewers know the difference between something that was easy to do and hard to do. But no, of course, I have – I don't understand what fucking kids do. Not that you're a kid, but the people that are consuming Instagram, like – Yeah. I have no idea how people – I'm old as shit. Like, I make long-form stuff. Nobody watches the shit I do.

Yes, they do, A. But B, yeah, with the – but I don't like to fall into that. Like, oh, it has to be really. relatable. It has to be understood. I think breaking the barrier and breaking that mold and setting trends is super important as well. But it's just kind of like finding that happy medium, right, which I think is doing something that tells a story, doing something that you're passionate about and that you care about. And I think as long as you get that message across and don't make it too, like, shock factor like in people's faces. Like as long as you're just, yeah, going with the flow and

doing what you do? Like Forrest was telling me that or, uh, what was it? Someone, what's a, what was a, what was who did we meet with what's his name i call her his name who we met with Ethan Ethan Ethan he was telling me that like you go out and go camping and like really get like in the thick of just everything and he was like saying hi could never do that I was like I'm trying to be right there I'm like I love camping I love going out and like getting I don't know I love going out and actually like being in everything when I went to Rwanda it was wild uh you know being able to machete an hour and a half into the jungle and see silverback grills in their natural habitat. It was, it was mind blowing.

Did you see a silverback in the wild? Yes. Just, here's what I need you to do. You're a storyteller. You're known for your captions. Yes. You're known for your captions. Yes.

Paint us a picture of the moment. You whack down that last bush. Silverback. Let me get my narrator voice, all right. Yeah. So we literally were strapped up head to toe because there's a lot of crazy shit in the jungle. Poisonous plants and the biggest elephant shit I've ever seen in my entire life. So we were walking through fields.

There's a lot of potatoes grown in Rwanda randomly. Walking through potato fields, get to the jungle. we're hiking for like an hour and a half. You know, it could take an hour and a half. It could take eight hours. Don't really know because it's obviously kind of their, their world out there. We're just living in it.

So we were just trying to find them. And we were hiking for a while. And I remember we had two, two gorilla truckers with us. And then there were five other ones out already. And they had walkie-talkies. And they were communicating trying to find them. And all of a sudden, from across the way,

like it wasn't a flat walk by any means. It was a lot of, a lot of this. So we were looking out onto the mountain, and on the side of the mountain, we see, I just see like little black shapes moving. But we were so pretty far away, but we did see them. So it was like, the moment that I saw them, we were still pretty far away, but I was like, oh, my gosh,

I was like, I have to get over there right now. So all of us carefully walked over, it was probably like a 20-minute walk. And we were kind of like walking. And I hear wrestling, just a lot of wrestling around us. I'm like, oh, my gosh, like, this is the moment. Like, something is near us. And I kind of, like, turn around and see this huge silverback gorilla.

Like, I mean, there was, when I learned that silverbacks aren't a breed, it's mountain gorillas. Silverbacks are old girl as correct. So the odds that a human ever really sees one is pretty rare and, like, right behind us, like on all fours, like standing up, like just walked up like a silverback gorilla. Huge. The biggest animal I've ever seen in my life. And I was like, the track version, like, step away slowly, like, explained to us. I know they're very smart. So they wouldn't just like attack out of nowhere. But he was telling us like, you know, the noises that they make

and the different calls that they make to let us know, like, hey, if they're going to attack, this is the sound they're going to make. If they are curious, this is the sound they're going to make. So they were talking to the guerrillas. It was really cool. The gorilla track. They were like making noises and calling them by names. They actually have a gorilla naming ceremony there every single year that they took us to. It was like this whole huge open field where they like named the babies every single year. And that was such a big part of that town's culture, just in general, like everything kind of like revolved around the gorillas. And they like just, it was like a family, you know, like in like respect for them.

And they told us the stories of these tribes and how they came together. and like the tribe we were visiting it was like two males and like 11 females which was a huge huge um I can't remember what he called it it wasn't a pack what is a group a troop of of girls and so I saw the one and then all of a sudden I looked to my left and there were like three baby girls no wow that's awesome really the cutest like tarzan like you know just the fluffiest heads I've ever seen in my life and then And then everything the trackers told you to do, they were like, fuck it, and I got to hold one of those things. I just want to cuddle it. Yeah.

Their faces, their noses were so smashed. And I just wanted to like smash my face against their face. Of course. Yes, that's instant. The way that the mothers were like coddling the babies and just how human-like it was seeing. Yeah, yeah. But also I'm very unhuman-like, you know, snapping.

tin things of bamboo, just boom, and eating it. I'm like, that's... Well, to be fair, that's very similar to Peter at Taco Bell with a chaloolew in the AM. So it's... You say on human-like, but look at Peter. I mean, he's just... Look at it. I mean, it's basically a gorilla.

Strong resemblance. Gorillas are cute, Charlie. I'm a cute gorilla. These guys think that I'm an ugly gorilla. You're a silver back. You're a mess. You've got a fluffy head, dude. You've got a fluffy head.

He's calling you a baby gorilla. So, before we let you go, we have... have to ask you this. Yes. Forrest and I have filmed together many times in Africa. And there's sort of just a right of passage that happens when you're in Africa. Oh, boy. Forrest is from there.

I've spent a lot of time there. You can't have a successful trip to Africa without getting food poisoning. Yeah. There's no way. You have to get violently ill. Did you somehow skate through your African experiences without getting sick? In South Africa, I did not get sick in South Africa? Africa in Rwanda, I'm pretty sure it was just like consistently food poisoned, if that makes

any sense. There it is. There it is. Like, it wasn't, like, night where it was really bad. It was just like kind of consistently throwing up the entire time. Perfect. Yeah. It's part of the fun.

It was the malaria, the malaria pills. And I love food. So I was just kind of like trying everything. Welcome to my continent. where we will make you sick the whole time you visit. I lost like seven pounds. So you don't have seven pounds to lose, Charlie. That's that's craziness.

It's going to be the new fad diet. Like, so I'm like, yeah. Yeah, I actually go. Terry diet. I actually really, I really like the local food there, though. I didn't know how prominent potatoes, like literally potatoes were served with every meal and there were just potatoes everywhere. I was blown away.

I was like, oh, no, like Idaho. Idaho comes to mind when I think of potatoes, not Africa. But you didn't know that right next to Idaho is Rwanda potatoes. It's on every grocery store. It's like, you know, don't get the Idaho's. Get the Rwanda's. Those are phenomenal. They come with a being serious to me.

Like, do you want to be sick or not? Do you want Idaho potatoes or do you want to lose seven pounds? Like, the choice is yours. The Rwanda potato diet. Charlie, thank you so much for joining us tonight. It's absolutely awesome to have you on. I can tell you that, you know, for everybody that's listening, everybody that follows Charlie online, everybody that follows me online, Charlie and I are going to be working together.

We're going to be doing some collaborations and conservation. We're going to be doing some shooting and filming together to share on social media. It's super exciting for everybody because like we said earlier, we're bringing conservation to a new audience. And Charlie, thank you so much for joining us tonight and for bringing exposure to the wild world. It's really exciting. Of course. Thank you so much for having me.

And I'm glad I got to meet all you guys. and I'm sure I'll see all of you soon, and I can't wait for us to continue this awesome journey. It's going to be, you know, you guys have been doing it for so long, and I'm just humbled to be able to be part of it. Awesome. Thank you so much. Right.

Thank you, Charlie. Having you. Well, that was absolutely awesome having Charlie join us. I love it. I think she's amazing. I mean, the fact that she has such influential power, and she's going to bring all of that power and attention to wildlife as someone who didn't grow up with it.

I love it. Look, it's easy to have, look. She has three and a half million followers on Instagram. It's very easy to just continue doing what you're doing, right? Like, it's easy to go, people are following me for X, Y, and Z reasons. I'm just going to keep doing this. It's really fun. I'm going to go to beaches and fucking, she has invitations to go to Cozumel and fucking Turks and Kikos.

Every day. Places and take beach photos. And she's like, I'm going to trek through the fucking jungle and shit myself and go see some silverbacked gorillas because I think. Like my followers may find out they're interested in this. Right. It's pretty rad, dude. Yeah, it is.

It's balzy. It's balzy. She's taking a wrist, you know? Dude, that's, okay. So I wanted to ask me this the whole time. I just didn't want to interrupt her. Absolutely. Okay.

So when she was mentioning the posture of Retep's cousin, the silverback, how would you know if a silverback was going to be angry? If you were in trouble, what would the silverback? Or, sorry, a mountain gorilla be doing. Yeah. Do it. Have you paid attention to every start of the podcast? Yes, I have.

I know when you're angry. You punch when I'm furious. They share, I think, I think the real is 96, but I have to check, percent of our DNA, right? So their behavior, yeah, it's really close. Their behavior is pretty similar to ours. You know, you're going to see the same kind of aggressive body cues that you see in a human being. You're going to see shoulders pulled back, chest puffed out. You know, the guerrillas do the iconic, like, chest thump as a, as, as, you're going to see.

as a kind of display of aggression. No, is that a get away from me because I'm going to fuck you up? Or is that like, this is what I do to get myself pumped up right before I attack you? That would be seemingly correct. But no, that's more, it's like a threat display. It's like, you know, this is your warning before it gets real. And yeah, puffing, rutting in the dirt, shoulders arched or puffed up, chest puffed up. And definitely facial expression, too.

You know, they're extremely expressive animals. Like you can see the difference in a relaxed animal with all primates really, an aggressive one. You know, like the frown comes on, the furrowed brow comes on that, that like intense, like, anger and concentration look. I mean, you can really see it in primates. It's amazing. And especially in like orangutans, squirrels, chimpanzees, things that are closely related to us. Wow. I, like, dude, I just remember the first time I saw a scary mammal in the wild.

For me, squirrel. Horrifying, dude. My mom told me they had a mirror. No, it was a bear. It was a big brown bear in Alaska. A brown bear? Dude, that's a scary fucking animal. Remember that feeling.

And a bear to me is so much less scary for some reason than a gorilla. That's funny. So I think, and you know what's funny is you would not believe the amount of teenagers that send me this question. Who would win in a fight? A gorilla or a grizzly bear? I'm not kidding. I get that question once a week on an Instagram message. And I don't know the answer.

I really, I don't fucking know. I've never seen them fight. Didn't? I thought we addressed this one of the barrel of wins. And that's my opinion just based on strength and intellect and everything else. But there, those are two, I mean, the kids that are sending me that question, they've identified the two gnarliest creatures in the world. Like I really don't think there's anything when it comes to like size, aggression,

speed and ability more terrifying than those two creatures. Like they're just, they're just undefeatable. Like, I don't care if you have a spear or a knife or a sword. They're undefeatable creatures. Forrest, question, question, what about a polar bear versus a brown bear? Technically, they're the same animal with different colored skin. So, yeah. Oh, shoot.

I didn't know that. I mean, I thought, because I had always read that the polar bears are like, legit the most vicious type of bear. I've obviously never encountered one, but then I've seen videos of grizzly bears like being trapped and I'm like, dude, something more vicious. So technically the polar gray and the grizzly bear is basically the same creature. Like they have very, very, very subspecies, very little genetic difference. One is white, one is brown. Now, I think the reason that the polar bear gets such a reputation is while the brown bear, the grizzly bear will pack on a ton of weight by eating berries

and fruits and things like that. Up in the Far Arctic Circle, there isn't a lot of options for that. So the polar bears, they're just eating fucking meat. Like, they're just going ham on seals and sea lions. And they might be food may be more scarce because they have less available. For sure.

So, you know, as far as like, you know, they're an ultimate predator. Yeah, anything they basically, anything that's meat is on the menu for them. And that's kind of, I think that's kind of why that stigma of the polar bears so gnarly exists. and it's true because they will eat, you know, you're just a walking steak to them.

Right, yeah, this doesn't matter. It's just, I mean, when you live in an environment like that, pretty much. You're just going to eat whatever you can. Think about this, Peter. Like me, it's like me. Like in Yellowstone or whatever, but like the little bitch bears. Oh, sorry, go ahead.

Yeah, I've actually seen, I've only seen, well, I was just going to say, I've seen a black bear in Yosemite. And I was, I literally, was like, holy shit, I didn't even know bears were this small. I couldn't believe that. I was like, decimate the three of us in a matter of seconds if it wanted to. For sure. A black bear.

So like, you know, they have what we call grizzly bears in like Yellowstone. And they're big. And people have mostly seen black bears. So they see a grizzly in Yellowstone. They're like, holy shit. You could fit more than two yellowstone grizzlies or brown bear inside. an Alaskan brown bear. Yeah.

So even though they're the same species, there's just so much bigger. Dude, they're huge. Crazy. Dude, five and a half feet at home. I saw, I saw this video.

I love that. The peepop. I saw this video of a grizzly that was trapped under somebody's porch, right? And this guy is videotaping like him taking a fucking broom. Dude,

I mean, I have never seen, something more vicious. Like I was just like, this thing would just fucking, this would eat me, everybody in the apartment complex everywhere. Just like, what a, what a nightmare would be? I met a park ranger when I was in Alaska who had, it was a female, she was probably 35, who had been attacked by an Alaskan brown bear, you know, a 1,300,300 pound brown bear.

Wow. It ate off. It removed both of her. from her body. She knew what to do, which she stood there. What? She waited. It charged.

She stood her ground. It attacked at this time. It was a, what do you call it? A sow? Is that a guy? Yeah, that's correct. Wow. So it was a sow with cubs.

She was leading a group of tourists, right, on a hike. And they surprised the sow with cubs. What? And it attacked her. And she stood her ground. And she, you know, she stepped in front of them. Because she knew that probably some of them would run and whatever.

Right, right. And it got her because some of the people behind her ran. And she played dead. Sure. Her face was completely fine. Everything you could see when she was wearing clothes was fine. But it bit off both of her butt cheeks. Holy shit, dude.

And all the damage was in her back, but it didn't hit her spine or anything. Through her. And there were people with her so they were able to call for help or whatever. But it just, right. It's gone. I did. No, go ahead.

It's crazy. So, yeah. Sorry, go ahead. No, no, I was just going to say. So obviously, like, you know, she, I'm trying to envision how it got the butt, the butt cheeks. Like, she must have been turned around and, like, at that point running away, no, just because I'm saying, because what, you're supposed to stand your ground with a grizzly there? Play dead. And, like, make yourself big.

So she was probably lying flat on her belly and it kind of, you know. attacked from above. You know, it's interesting. I did, so QQ, you know, the magazine, Gentlemen's Quarterly, does these video breakdowns

and they have like an expert, Navy SEAL review like sniper movies, and they have a few others. And anyway, they asked me, I've done it four times now, actually. They asked me to do animals and movie reviews. And it was super fun. We had fun.

We sat in this really cool studio and they play a clip. And they're like, what do you think? Is it silly or is it great? And it's everything. It's like Jumanji. It's Mr. Popper's paying

It's like all kinds of nonsense stuff. There's one movie that I, to this day, I have no idea what they showed me, but it's John Claude Van Dam on a beach in Hawaii kickboxing with a tiger. And I'm like, I don't know what movie this is, but I have to watch this film. What is that? Yeah, I saw that of you. It's hilarious your reaction to that. What is going on here?

It's just unbelievable. The reason I bring that up is one of the films that I reviewed was The Revenant. And I saw The Revenant when it came out in theaters. I loved it. I thought it was a great film. And then I never saw it again. Like I just never got got a, you know, it's like a fucking nine hour movie. So you're like, yeah, you're like, it's not something you're just going to pop on in the background on Wednesday night. So I never watched it again. And they pulled up the bear attack scene in the Revenant to do this GQ video breakdown. And I watched it. And I couldn't find anything wrong with it. It's so well done

that, you know, they're asking me, they're like, what's, you know, what's silly about this? And I basically was like nothing. You know, it's like, you know, it's like, like it's basically perfect. Like to me, the way that that unfolds with that bear attack, with that sow and her Cubs and defending and like leaving and then coming back when he moved and the way that, you know, he laid flat and

it attacked the bear attacked Leo's back. It's really good. So for anybody listening, if you're interested in seeing what a worst case scenario bear attack looks like, I think the Revenant does a really good job depicting it. Such a scary scene, dude.

They really is. That's so intense. Poor Leo, dude. It's a $200 million movie. There's no way that director who had won, I think, two straight Oscars at that point was going to go do a movie and be like, I'll just willy-nilly this bear attack. Right. I'm not going to interview anyone.

I'm not going to. Totally. Yeah. It is. Yeah. It's a huge part of the movie, too. Speaking of scary things, I saw something. It's kind of a little out of my wheelhouse, but I thought it was really interesting.

I think you guys will like this. So there was an island that was a French prison island off the coast of French Guiana where 70,000 prisoners were killed during this island's 100-year history. Now, the reason they were killed is the French sent political prisoners, prisoners of war and other bad people to this island, which was only accessible by cable car. So like, think Alcatraz by cable car. But the island was surrounded by sharks, which were constantly in a feet of, frenzy because daily they'd just off one of the bad prisoners and feed it to the shark.

So although it was like not that far offshore, it was close enough that they could build a cable car, nobody was escaping it because there was just frenzied sharks swarming this French guy on an island, which I think is just, it's like something out of a movie. I mean, it's just imagine this island just swarming with sharks and you're watching them eat people. And it's like this, it's like this beautiful little tropical island. And it's just, it's just, yeah, frenzied with sharks. I think that's just insane. Which is it's insane because this place it is. It is. It is fucking insane.

Right. The photo of it now, you've got like people casting their fishing line and it's this beautiful little island that's what, what would you say that's 500 yards off the coast? Oh yeah, it's nothing. It's right there. There's a 75% death rate

because they were kind of daring people to go swim. Wow. They're like, escape, bitch. Yeah, go for it. Dare you. Go ahead. That's crazy. You know, what a nightmare. I saw a thing for us.

So there's, I was watching this show a while ago, it's on NetGio. It's called Russia's toughest prisons. Okay. And I think it's maybe something you can watch on Netflix. But they, in Siberia, they built these really hardcore prisons where the worst of the worst gets sent in Russia. There's a lot of murder in Russia, right?

So they have a higher murder rate per capita. than we do, even though they have like a tenth of the guns. Right. A lot of stabbings. A lot of stabbings. So they'll find these gnarly stabbers. Or bare-handed killings. These prisons in Russia.

And there's a particular prison there where they use this dog called the Ofcharka, or the Russian Ovcharka. Okay. You've seen this thing? Is this the bear dog? Is this the Russian bear dog? Yes. I've heard of them.

Will, if you could pull up a picture. Will, can you pull one of these. The cells. have no doors. The cells have no doors. So these dogs, the charka, are trained that if they see someone in the hallway

without supervision, kill. No way. And no one fucking wanders out of their cells. Because they will immediately be mauled because you have these 180 pound ferocious, probably the most ferocious looking dog I've ever seen, just patrolling.

the halls and there are no doors on the cells. That's insane. Isn't that crazy? That's insane, I mean, that is crazy. Fucking punishment. Look at that thing. Oh my God. You see this thing?

That's the size of a goddamn grizzly bear, man. And there's no forced perspective on that photo. Like, maybe a tiny guy's in front of the dog. Yeah, he's a private. Yeah. Oh my God. And then, so what prevents these dogs from just going in the goddamn I'm trying to fucking eat me.

You know, it's in the hallway. They're just training it. Dead. Mm-hmm. I'd rather take my chances on Shark Island, for sure. Zero question. 100%. Yeah, for sure.

Well, that's because you know how to get rid of the shark that's trying to kill you. I mean, you don't know what to do with this thing. No. Even me, yeah, no, just no. I don't want to have any part of this with this bear dog. I mean, what a crazy looking thing. Wow, dude. that that that dog i mean first of all it's as big as that six foot plus tall human and it's it's

about the width of of two to three of him i mean that dog would fucking just a quick aside that the same prison they do a thing because each guy gets an hour a day to go exercise but if you get sentenced to go to this prison that means your life for sure there's no like you're there for 10 years once you go to this prison, you never get to see another human being's face ever again for the rest of your life. Really? Yeah, so what they do is when it's your hour

to go into what's basically like a 10 by 10 little exercise area, you have to self put on a hood. And then you stand backwards and put your arms out and they handcuff you. And now you've got this blinding hood on. They take you out. They uncuff him, and then after they shut the door, you take your own hood off and exercise for an hour. So once you step foot inside that prison, you will never see another human being's face for the rest of your life.

Wow. I mean, it's absolutely crazy. I mean, and you're in the middle of Siberia, too. So you're in, you can never, you couldn't escape if you tried. You'd just be fucking walking around in the middle of a big, snowy blizzard. With all right. With all right. miles from anything.

These dogs chasing you. Dude, I was filming a show with this guy, Doug Stout. I think I introduced, or Forrest, I showed you him for something we were looking at. He's like an Arctic explorer. Oh, yeah. He said a few solo crossings. Yeah, he's done a few solo crossings of like Antarctica. He's crossed Greenland's ice sheet by himself a couple times.

But he was telling the story on camera for something I was filming about when he had a polar bear encounter in Siberia. And he tells the story and he's, you know, he knows that we're filming whatever and he tells the whole thing and he goes back into his little tent or whatever and waits and the bear leaves. But like in the story, he's like, yeah, like I just like woke up and like I just like couldn't sleep. So I went outside and I was stretching and all of a sudden there's this polar bear and it's like

being really aggressive. It tells the whole story and it's fucking insane because he's the only one awake of like the six people, and he's outside in the middle of the night, and this polar bear comes up to their camp. And so he tells the story, we cut. I go up to him, I'm like, you know, the one thing that's bothering me was like, why did you get out of your tent when you couldn't sleep? He's like, oh, dude, I was shitting.

I was shitting. He's like, I was just taking a shit, bro, and I just didn't want to put that on camera. Now it's on the podcast. Pretty funny. Now the world knows. Oh, man. Well, Forrest, the world also knows about your naked dancing encounter because I posted it to Instagram. And it is our top post on Instagram when you encountered.

I saw. I saw it all. It's fantastic. At the time you went on naked and afraid for us, were you dating anyone? Did you have a female companion? I did. I did. Yep.

How did she react when you slapped your dick from from thigh to thigh? This is a good question. We just watched it together. What did she say? If you're listening to the audio and not watch this video, get on YouTube. Yeah, really. Red is a fucking tomato. A tomato, please.

Yeah, that's a good question. I don't remember, but it wasn't bad to the point that things ended right then and there. So I guess I got away with it. She was just like, yeah, I've seen you do that at the house. Literally all the time, yeah. Like a contour. What was incredibly shocking was that you had put on that 70 to 200 pounds before you went not naked and afraid.

And you were just out there jiggling it up. I mean, the thing is, like, I've been in pretty good shape my whole life. Like, I've never been like fucking super shredded. I've never been that fat before, naked afraid. So I'm just like under the impression that I was still in relatively good aesthetic shape. And I thought, I was like, oh, my God. What? I was like, what disaster?

You can support about it, though. You sent it to me. And you're like, it was so funny because when I posted it, I was like, I posted it. I hope that's all right. And you're just like, because you, I don't know, you sent me something. And you're like, you weren't, you weren't thrilled about it. But you did it. I'm trying to let the world forget that I did that.

I was like, not keep reminding. them. I'm going to post it once in a for us really well because we do something when we're making TV shows, which is we call them hero shots. And we really just call them hero shots to make the star of the show feel good

because we're calling them a hero. But it's like the promotional stuff, right? Stuff for the commercials. They have nothing to do with the show. They're just really cool shots. A lot of times it's like a drone shot or whatever. And so myself and Mitch we'll see like some really just horribly dangerous

like the top of some like little peak that's like six inches in diameter where if you fall off it you die and I don't know how he's going to get up there and we'll be like ooh that'd be a good hero shot and he'll usually be like no I'm not doing it like fuck you guys and then he just goes and climbs

so you can usually come to do almost anything you want sending you a clip of him smacking his dick around it's true yeah no I'm very very impressionable young lad. I'm the guy that was like, hey, we're going out drinking tonight. Ah, I've got a midterm tomorrow. Hey, Forrest, we're going out drinking tonight and it's going to be fun. All right,

let's go. Very, very I saw you do that with nitrous balloons in Vietnam. You should have I don't know if we've ever told that story. I did. Yeah, I think we did talk about that one. Yeah, you did.

Episode one, that story was in there. I remember, because I edited and I was like, these guys have got to be making this up. It's just so fun. It's just so fun. Essentially, long and short of it,

a long and short of it was, you, you were looking for an animal. The locals told you, all right, come to this place. Like a ride of, where you need to go.

You get there. And they're like, here, yeah, we'll show you after you huff these balloons and walk across this fucking heat it, like, whatever the fuck it was.

Do it's like crazy shit. Yep. Yeah. 15 shots of happy water smoking some weird thing that they gave us plus the nitrous then playing bad meeting with children in the streets for about two hours

and then they took us to nowhere Right We accomplished nothing They didn't even take it But we did it have fun Guys I think that we should dig into one of our segments How do you feel about playing

Bizarre animal of the week? Bizarre I love it It's my favorite news. I'm actually no battle royale because I was winning. Okay, I like this. Give us some clues. Give us some clues.

All right. Pat's going to take riddle it so he can focus. Tonight's bizarre animal of the week is snowy white, pure white albino creature. They have eyes. This animal has eyes, quite distinct eyes, actually. Yet it is believed to be blind. Okay? So we've got this white creature, big black eyes, but they're useless.

Okay, stay with me now. They have arms, much like Peter, that are longer than their entire body. So imagine this whole white creature, I won't give you more to its shape yet, with these long arms longer than their entire body. Their arms in particular are covered, covered in fur. crazy amounts of hair and fur. Their body completely bald, but their arms and legs covered in fur.

I think I know what this is. So blind, and it's all, did you say it was, all right, so long arms, hairy arms, it's got eyes, but can't see. It gets weirder. So on those incredibly hairy arms, they farm their own food by growing bacteria on those whiskers that they then consume.

That's pretty wacky, right? I have two ideas. I think one of them's right. Okay, okay. I don't even know, like, what, I have no idea. I'll give me a kind of like an animal. I'll feed you baby birds. These animals, these bizarre creatures,

live huddled in tight colonies of tens of thousands. I know what this is. Ooh, I like. I know what this is. And I did not. Oh, wow. Producer will, like, I know, I think I know. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Peter, you want another? Okay. I can give you one more. Is there any more? Like, kind of a give me. Yeah. Okay. Give me one more.

The 10,000 definitely narrowing down a bit to like, it's not. It's not a tiny little bug, though. If you're thinking tiny little bug, it's not. It's a pretty big animal. Now, I squeeze that. I squeeze an extra hint at it. Now, the end of those arms, and this might give it away, are two, on each arm, are two claw-like pincers.

Say pincers? Pinsers. There's no age. Sorry, I don't know if it was one of fucking Forrest's vocal flubs. Out of space. I swear to God, I have not looked at any type, like, the world didn't tell me what it is. I don't know.

Forrest didn't tell me. I think it's some sort of albino spider crab. Peter Okay, wait, don't give any reaction I definitely I definitely after you said pinsters

I uh I was and and the fact that there's like large groups of them it was leading me to like a smaller something but I was thinking some type of albino lobster or something well done both gentlemen it is a crab not a lobster

Patrick wins it's the Yeti crab only discovered in 2005. Will, can you grab a picture? Whoa. Yeah. There you go. 2005. Holy shit.

Wait. Wait, so discovered in 2005, but like obviously has existed in it's a deep, the thermal vent creature. So we only, you know, we're only really starting to learn these animals more and more as technology advances. And I'm hoping Will can pull up a picture so you guys can see what a getty crab looks like. When you say thermal vent, is that one of the, of the creatures that actually eats the methane?

Well, these animals eat the bacteria that grow on their arms, which I think probably comes about from those thermal vents. I'm not actually certain of that, but it is an absolutely bizarre. Look at that thing. Yeah. Oh, wow, dude. Yep. Look at that.

Dude, that is, that's like a, that looks like a spider. And to Patrick's point, I mean, it is very close to the spider crab family. I mean, he's right there. You guys are both right on, you know, crab, lock. You're right there. And it's really a cross between a lobster and a crab in morphology, isn't it? Totally. Totally.

With those long arms and those big pincers, it really is. I mean, it's just a bizarre nature. Yeah. So for us, the reason that when I thought I got it was when you said 10,000. Mm-hmm. I went with my dad in 1994. Okay. So I was 13 years old.

And we went to a place. It was on the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland, whatever. So we were there. It was him, my stepmom, my three step sisters. They rented this cool little house, and we bought a commercial crab trap because this place is known for its crabbing. Yep. Right? All this, I guess it's Chesapeake Bay crab or whatever.

You know, it's crabbing. So we dropped this crab in the water. We bait it. You've seen a crab trap, right? Stuff sort of like some oil fish. Old rotten fish. Yeah. Yep.

Right. So we drop this in the water. He's like, oh, man, he's like, we're going to have a feast. Like, we're going to catch all this crab. We're going to fucking crab. It's going to be great. It's going to be amazing. So we get there. We go to pull up the trap and we can't pull it up. And he's convinced that it's stuck on something. Okay. So we're in a little rental cabin. So we go over, we ask the neighbor, this big burly dude, would he help us pull this trap up? Okay. For three of us can't pull the trap up. Long story short, fucking toe hitch on the neighbor's truck. Nice. Tie the thing or tie the rope around it. You don't swear to God.

Because we thought the trap got stuck. The guy pulled it up. Right. Yeah, yeah. Fucking, dude. There was probably, so a commercial crab trap, what would you say is maybe five, six feet? Yeah, five, six foot cube essentially, each side.

It is full to the brim. There's not an inch of space in this crab trap. That's how many crabs we caught. Love that. But we didn't eat a morsel. You didn't eat it? Wow. We didn't eat a morsel.

You didn't eat any. Every last one was a spider crab. Oh, no way. Dude, it was probably 3,000 spider crabs that had infested our trap. So we went to the fish market, bought a shitload of crab, told the lady. told the ladies that we'd found them. Perfect. Or that we'd caught them.

Dude, just, it was like 3,000 spider crabs packed into this. I was like, what are they even doing in there? Crazy. Yeah. How long was it in there for, is my question. We checked it on the second day, because once they go in, they can't come back. Damn, that's crazy. It's a one-way trap.

Yeah, isn't that amazing? And it's always so weird. So I've done a little bit of crabbing up Northern California for Dungeoness crab. I never understand why, like, why they pack like that? Like, why not stop? Like, I understand they're not like super intelligent beings, but when you see 9,870 of your friends crammed into something, maybe don't go join it. You know what I mean?

Like, just hang out on the outside. Right. I don't know. Like, is the, I know there's not that much intelligent thought, but like, what is the is the instinct so strong to get in that pile because of the food. smell? Is it because of all the others that makes you think that there's food? I don't know. It's bizarre. Did you ever see the time lapse on planet Earth where they showed a whale fall? Oh, yeah. That's amazing. And it just got completely covered in layers and layers of crab on the bottom of the ocean.

And then it just goes down, down into nothing. It's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, so a whale, so they show a time lapse of an actual whale sink to the bottom, like a whale died and sunk to the bottom. And then crabs coming. So when a whale and eat it falls to the bottom of the ocean, when it just dies of either because it's been attacked or natural causes, when that carcass goes to the bottom,

it's so big. It creates a temporary ecosystem. Yep. Called a whale fall. And all sorts of things come and can live off this. And it's crazy. Everything gets used essentially.

But they filmed one. They filmed a whale fall. I don't know. I fucking know how they did it. How the fuck do you think they did that for us? I actually know how they did it. They did a behind the scenes thing. So they,

knew of a dead whale and I forget what the reason was, hit by a boat, whatever mystery death, and they asked whatever government it was, I think Tonga, can we film every part of it and sink it ourselves? And the government of this small island nation was like, sure, it stinks and we don't know what to do with it. So they took it out to, you know,

this deep trench and like poked holes in it so that it would sink and followed it all the way down and had cameras down there and everything set up and then, you know, went back day after day after day to film all the life that was coming into it until it was gone. And I believe they filmed for like three months or something just on that, on that carcass, which is pretty incredible. Yeah, there. If you're watching on YouTube, Will has pulled up the video of the whale fall,

which is why, Peter, where should they go to follow us on YouTube and check out this cool shit, see our faces? Yeah, well, I mean, any, any, all the links to everything first are on the Wild Times podcast.com, back slash. or forward slash whatever the normal one is. Info. So the wild timespodcast.com slash info. And then, you know, you can always find us at Wild Times Pod on social media.

And YouTube is just the Wild Times podcast. He's strong. Yeah, you're a massive job. I'm definitely tipsy. Listen, I was drinking, keeping my mouth shut while Charlie was on. She was interesting. I didn't want to interrupt with my shenanigans. A pretty girl like that before.

You just were completely tongue-tied. You had no idea what to do with yourself. I don't think you've seen his current. Forrest, here's a catch. No, I have. She's starting. Yeah, I don't know what, like, is it the huge cock? Is it the massive amounts of Taco Bell that you're feeding her?

No, I have a, listen, well, first of all, my cock is average-sized. It's fine. I'd like to give her the old soup and sandwich. I'm not going to brag. I had a conversation with a friend, and he was, he said, I was like, I used condoms for the first time

in quite a while after the divorce. And I was like, it's deep, but, but, you know, he, he, I was using like Trojans or something. And it was awful. It was an awful experience. I mean, I swear to God, I had, you know, it was one of the first times in a while.

I've been with a new woman. And, you know, I just couldn't, I couldn't, I just felt like it wasn't. I couldn't perform like I could. And it was very just thick, like a burlap sack. And so this friend, he told me, he's like, you got to use the specific condoms or the yellow Trojan ones.

And he specifically wrote, he said, they're perfect for an average wind man. And they really were. They were fantastic. I will say those yellow ones also, by the way, the yellow trojans are. ribbed. They're ribbed. For her pleasure, as we

heard about them as kids. It does nothing for the man. No, they are the best. They are undeniably the best. But kids, we have a lot of people listening. Yeah, I'm just kidding. But dude, look, whale falls. No, we do. I'm sorry. Yeah, we were really sorry. We didn't mean any of that. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, no, use protection for sure. Of course I'm not wearing a condom. I'm not a sailor. All right. I don't find kind of me that terrible you should use them unless you're trying to make a baby or possibly get Tasmanian devil herpes. That's right. Forrest, I think it's time, bro.

Oh, yeah. It's good. All right. I'm going to do the drum roll and Patrick gets on you, baby. Ready? Here we go. Oh, slow clap. Oh, boy.

Of course, so. It's a disaster. Battle Royale! Yep, yep. It's time for the Battle Royale. It's everyone's favorite segment. We're all hammered. They hate it, but the rest of our thousands of listeners love the Battle Royale.

Who's picked one this week, guys? I got nothing. What do you guys think? You got anything on deck? Patrick? I mean, yeah, sure. I've got plenty on deck. Of course he does.

He's been thinking about this since he was fucking 10 years old. So producer Will just came up. this on the fly, which I have to appreciate. If you're a dictator, you're a dictator, you're like Kim Jong-un or Kim Jong. You're one of the bad Kim. Yep. And you had to design an animal-based prison

for your political prisoners. Oh, this is fun. What would you design? This is fun. So here's what we're going to do. Oh, God. What? where is the prison?

What type of climate, what type of environment? Where are you going to put it? Okay. What type of animal would you use to be the guards? Right? So we talked about the Ofcharca. Can't use that. That's out.

Yep. That's out. Yep. And what are you going to use it has to be related to wildlife for your method of execution? Ooh, I like that. I like that. So it's, it's destination.

Wow. Animal Guard and execution method. Yeah, and what we're trying to do is we don't want to do this, everyone. We're not going to do this, I promise you. We don't have the power. Nobody should do this. We're trying to be the most ruthless dictator since Vlad the Impaler. Yeah.

I don't think this is a snake drift. I think this is just go all three, right? Just do it. Yeah, I think so. Peter, you're up. Let's go. Take us away. Question.

Okay. You can ask the question. You're allowed for the question. Just a quick question. So the execution, are we executing all of the prisoners or the execution method is what we're executing them? No, the execution is like the bad ones, the ones who mouth off, the ones who like don't wash their tone. Okay. The really bad ones.

Don't wash their fucking toenails. Okay. Who's going to be the guard? I am a terrible dictator. And how are you going to get it? Okay. It's, this is, this is a tough one. And since I'm really good off the cuff and Woody and Clever, I'm going to choose as my location, it is going to be Antarctica, obviously. This is where I will be sending all of the dissidents from my country, including you two, for sure, you two. You two are going to be the first ones that go there. Brutal.

I don't like that. That's tough. I don't want to go. You guys. It's real hard. Even if you even make the boat ride there, because you'll be in a canoe on the way over. And in your canoe, you'll be being guarded by,

I'm just going to say it. Fucking gorillas. We talked about it this podcast. You two think I'm a gorilla. Gorillas are going to be my guards. Easy to train smart. I'm going to put propaganda in front of them. they're going to hate you, they're going to think, you know, and by the way, you two are going to be the only dissidents that ever go.

And then I'm done with my dictatorship. It's over. So it's you and Pat in a canoe that you guys are rowing. That's the entirety of the prison. You're on a canoe. Well, no, no, no. You guys are, this is just a trip to Antarctica. So if you make it, you know, that's fine. There's 25 guerrillas in this canoe with you while you guys are rowing to Antarctica. If you make it to the prison where you will obviously be killed, first thing. It's the first order of business.

Idiot. I mean, I didn't even. So, I mean, this is easy. The guerrillas, all 25 of them, are going to disembark off the canoe that you guys have just rode from America to Antarctica in. Your arms will be very tired. They're going to rip your arms off. and they are going to beat the other one with the arms of the other person and then just continue to rip off your limbs.

But here's the best part. They're not, that's not going to kill you because, you know, it's cold. You're, it'll be cauterized by the cold. It's just going to freeze the blood.

It's not just going to keep flowing. You're just going to be a stump in Antarctica and the snow. And then the guerrillas are going to hop back on the canoe and row back to, well, probably not America. Yes, that's where Antarctica. You got it.

It's very, very close. Yeah. Okay, so that was a mess. Forrest, do you want to go next or you're at the last? No, no, I'll go. Go ahead. All right. If you take any of mine, I'm done with this.

No, I'd be highly surprised. All right. So my prison is, it's a metal-based prison. So like, you know, the corrugated tin roof aluminum or metallic sides, brutal. Yeah. Aluminum. I can't. Stand by now.

Don't what? No. Pump your brains. It's terrible. There's no insulation of any kind. And this prison is in the middle of the Arabian desert. There's nothing but sand in every direction. If it's hot, it's hot.

It's disgusting. Like you're averaging like 150 degrees a day. There's very little water to drink just enough to keep you alive. And as soon as you get there, much like our. Russian hellhole, my prison has no doors. In fact, you can leave anytime you like. You can take your chances out in the Arabian desert and die of dehydration anytime you like.

But if you choose to stay, and if you get past the guards, and the guards, again, no doors are thousands of slithering stiletto snakes. Now, a stiletto snake is one of the most cytotoxic snakes in the world. Their venom will melt your flesh and your bones. It's so venomous. I mean, it literally melts you into ooze. A buddy of mine, Mike Clarkson, actually lost his thumb to one before they quickly, like, chopped it and stopped it. But the bite from a stiletto snake is so necrotic.

I mean, the way that it destroys, for the cytotoxin, the way that it destroys your cells and literally melts your skin to the point that it's dripping and melts your bones. These stiletto snake, you're just slithering around this. this prison. And at any time, you can be at sleep, you can be awake. There could just be a stiletto snake in your bed. You don't know. But if you stay in your cell, much like our Russian hellhole, you'll be fine. But the second you step out for any form of recreation to escape, there's just stiletto snakes everywhere. Just just, no. They don't have to get the hour a day of recreation. It's right out there in that lovely desert, right outside. All you got to do is waved through the stiletto snakes. Typically not super aggressive. Okay. Yes. But how are you going to control these snakes? I have a problem with this because

you'll never be able to get anyone into the prison. I'm assuming you're not just killing me and Pat like I was killing you two. You're going to have actual like swaths of prisoners getting them. How are you going to control this without them just getting killed before they get? Here, you know, let me finish my story here. First of all, my prisoners, my prisoners are all but naked. There's not a single garment of clothing in the prison. And my guards have fantastic snakechaps, but they don't, I don't need guards because they just drop people up in the prison. Yeah, did you just say smart?

Smart. Did you say smart? They're more vulnerable. You guys are sick. And let me finish, by means of execution. Because my prisoners are naked in this slithering hellhole in the Arabian desert, when somebody mouths off so be it they're taken to an arena in front of everybody else where a black cloaked clatted guard walks out into the arena with a stiletto snake in hand

takes said prisoner's penis puts it on a table and just gives it a little in the penis and the entire the entire coliseum of prisoners gets to watch as this man's penis slowly creeping into his balls, his groin, his and the rest of his body melt off until he drops dead as just a little incentive to behave yourself well in my nightmare prison. You are sick. I thought you were a good person.

It's horrible. It's awesome. You thought of all those things. It might be better than mine. That's really terrible what you did there. Well, can I, for all of you who aren't actually watching us on, YouTube. Pat has been furiously Googling

for the past 10 minutes my guards were going to be inland typons. Nice. Typans. So I was going to use venomous snakes in my guards. As soon as he took it, I was like, I'm fine. You got to go sideways, yeah.

Yeah. So I'm on tilt. I'm on tilt. Okay. All right. So. You've been Googling for an hour and a half. What do you mean on tilt? You better have something good. You better have something good. in Oswego, New York,

which is the town that I grew up in. Where are you too? Well, I mean, sure's why. Even if you escaped, got past my guards to get out of your death sentence that I'm going to give out liberally, the townies are going to beat the shit out of you and probably kill you because they don't know who you are. So that's already good. So I've got a sort of a built-in outer fence. Nice.

My inner. So you're saying that people in Oswego, they, they, they're just real terrible. No, not at all. There's just a lot of fights. If they don't know who you are, you might get the shit kicked out of here. You might get killed. So, all right. So that's what.

Now, if you get out of your cell before you go out into the general populace, you're going to essentially be walking on the floor and you're going to go, I'm just walking on the floor. This is great. It feels good. It feels solid. Just walking. And then you look down and you go, oh, my. God, I'm walking across the shells of 200-pound alligator snapping turtles.

Oh, boy. So all of a sudden, all of them, because I'm watching my video monitor, God. Blow the whistle, and they all go, heads out of shells, bite attack. Oh, that's nice. Tell me about an alligator snapping turtle bite for us. I don't like this. What does I do to you?

Yeah, I mean, what's this whistle? Wait, is this how I trained noise? Is there really a whistle that's going to make? trained my turtles. Oh, come on. You're a dictator. You've got better things to do than the turtle traitors are fucking smart.

They're my brother. Are they old? Nice down jackets. Nice, nice north face parkas. So how would it feel if an alligator snapping turtle They don't need that for us. Terrible. You would lose that chunk of craft.

Patrick, I know I know why you're thinking about this because of the alligator snapping turtle that we caught in Louisiana and just how dinosaurs and just crazy that animal is. No, so the alligator snapping turtle has the strongest bite force of any turtle, I believe in the world, but definitely in North America.

Huge crazy, beaked animal. Will, if you could pull up a picture for people that are watching, that'd be awesome. They're just these dinosaurs. They are the heaviest freshwater turtle species in the world, getting up to like four or five hundred pounds. And they have these just absolutely sharp

crazy beaks. Like imagine the gnarliest hawk beak you could ever think of and then turn it into an even harder, more cartilaginous thing, razor sharp. I mean, if a 500-pound alligator snapping turtle went for your calf, it wouldn't just take the calf muscle out. It would break your leg while ripping the calf muscle out. I mean, they are gnarly creatures. So good luck with that.

Forrest, what would happen if it went for your cat-knack instead of cough? You know, this is Patrick's hypothetical. The cocks are clearly off the table at this point, so it's on him. crazy. Imagine one of these fucking turtles taking a bite out of your Achilles tendon, dude. It's literally making me cringe and I don't

like it. Well, you're the one who you mentioned to you might have a chance. So look, if you get through there, you're going to get beat up by the townies. But most likely, you'll be sentenced to death. Look at that thing. Look at that alligator snapping turtle. Holy shit. Oh, yeah. Pat Warren. Fuck this. I'm out of here.

I quit the podcast. this thing is a dinosaur. It's a fucking alien. It's a dinosaur. I mean, are you kidding me? That thing's in what I'm going to do. I don't think so. When I sentence you to death, which I will,

is I'm going to submerge you in a tank. But your head's going to be out. And I'm going to be like, oh, hey, you, for your good behavior, you won 15 minutes of hot tub time. And it's going to be like this thing. Wow. I've never had a hot tub. I love a hot tub.

So we take you to this hot tub. a cylindrical tank that you just think you're in and it's just up to your head. And then I press a button. It closes in around your neck so you can't move. And then little doors open because it's attached to larger tanks and a bunch of box jellyfish come in. Oh, boy. And what's going to happen is you are going to get so many fucking box jelly. Look, you're going to get so many box jellyfish things that you're going to die a whole.

horrible way. How do they poison you for us? How does it box jellyfish? So their tentacles have incredible stinging venom that are stinging venom within their tentacles. And the way it actually works is like a small like needle off of their tentacles that goes into your skin and injects you. Very much like a mosquito, I guess, is the best way to describe it.

With an incredibly toxic. Yeah. And there's a guy in Australia who is doing like a jackass type YouTube channel. like maybe eight, nine years ago. And he purposely got himself stung by a box jellyfish for his YouTube. Ended up in the hospital. Yeah. And there's nothing they can, for some reason, the way it fucks you up,

there's no painkiller they can give you, but they also can't put you under. Oh, my God. They can't put you into like a sedation or a coma. Jesus. Because then you'll just die. Okay. And apparently multiple times throughout the experience, which lasted for several days. he begged the nurses to kill him.

Because that's how much it hurt. And he did it on purpose. Jesus. That's what you're going to get. Okay. Well, that's, I mean, I pat one, obviously. I'll admit your feet this week. I mean, he did have fucking, he was Googled the entire time.

You can watch it on the YouTube on the YouTube video, make sure. But guys, before we, before we for tonight, I want to know if I'm weird because this, this, this, battle royals bringing back memories from me when i was a kid i went to catholic school and uh i'd be in church every fucking friday and it was so fucking boring that like you know every year for eight years and um i would just picture different ways that i could kill everybody in the church is this weird like i pictured a tube coming on over like different parishioners and then just them being sucked up into the blades and like fucking slit or like the giant

cross falling on the priest and just killing him. And I'm wondering is this a normal thing or am I like I feel like you know I might have been a fucked up back then. I think Catholic school might have fucked with me. I'm not sure though. Did you guys have thoughts like that? Patrick, can you want to take this one?

I mean look I think everyone has weird little fantasies when they're a kid and especially when they're an obese kid. So yeah, I mean, I don't know. I wasn't a bad obese. I definitely, that story is, I mean, we all know you're a bit of a psychopath. There's nothing new there.

You're very angry as a person. But I think every kid, I think every, you're not really, but I think every kid has, especially kids that watch violent cartoons, a.k.a. every one of us that grew up in the 80s has fantasies of, you know, like, think of the fucking roadrunner. Like, you're like, oh, yeah, that's awesome. Like, I love the way he tried to murder the Roadrunner today. Like, I wish I could get a big. catapult with a giant stick of dynamite that bounced off that thing and hit him in the mouth. And like, I don't think a single kid that grew up with cartoons in the 80s didn't fantasize

about comical ways of blowing stuff up and killing people. So I actually think you're perfectly normal, Peter. You're just a weirdo who I want. And now we're still doing it on the Wild Times podcast. By the way, if you're listening on your, you know, on your Apple iTunes, lifting, did I say? Listening. Idiot. Do us a favor if you enjoy the podcast.

Just go to YouTube. God, he's terrible. Go to YouTube, type in the Wild Times podcast and subscribe because we have like 20 times more listeners on iTunes than we do people that have subscribed to the YouTube. So just do it. Just do it. Just subscribe. I think you'll enjoy watching us. Yeah.

Come on. Give it a world. Yeah. You know what else is great about, yeah, the YouTube too. there's a lot of engagement that comes on the videos. It's really fun. Sometimes we premiere the video and chat with the brosuners. But the comments, the engagement, YouTube is such a better platform for engagement than

fucking iTunes where it's like, okay, leave a review. That's great. That's awesome. But it's not like we can leave a reply. I reply to everyone on YouTube on every video. And so does Forrest and Pack when I send them screen graphs. Yeah. So subscribe to YouTube, subscribe to iTunes, listen.

leave us a review and vote, you know, let us know who won the Battle Royale tonight, whether it's Patrick's box jellies and snapping turtles, Peter's guerrillas in the Antarctic, or my stiletto snakes in the Arabian desert. They're all sound pretty awful. I don't want to go to any one of them, but let us know. And hey, you know, we get a lot of really fun comments from people. We love reading them on air. We love hearing your ideas for battle royals. Send them our way. Send them to Peter on social media on at the wild times, on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter. Send them on YouTube.

We'd love some inspiration from you guys. It's at Wild Times Pod. Sorry, at Wild Times Pod. I don't know. At Wild Times Pod. But yeah, thanks everybody for listening. Been another great night. Peter and Patrick, you guys are beautiful.

Good night. I need some dinner. Good night, everybody.