Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #28 - Doc Antle Indicted, The Staircase, Female Mole Testicles

Episode Date: October 19, 2020

We're talking tree kangaroos and everything in the title. PLUS... Find out how Forrest Galante plans to make it to the top in the C.I.A.  Join us for this week's adventure! More @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com/info We love you!

All right. This is The Wild Times. And we are back, baby. We are fucking back. We are fucking back. Classic. We are back. We are back. And we're the three best friends that anyone can have. And the three best friends. We're the three best friends that anyone can have. And we'll never, ever leave each other.

What the fuck was that? What do you mean? Me and Forrest were just riffing. What did you just do? Yeah, where are you coming from? What we're talking about? Dude, I was all over that. You guys were doing the hangover bit.

Everybody is seeing it. What hangover bit? What are you talking about? I've never seen that film. Never even heard of it. Doogie doogie doogie do you. Oh, good. Wild times.

Good evening, gentlemen. How are you? Good. Good. Good. In case you're a new brosner joining us tonight for the first time. We are not Ed Helms. Jesus.

Bradley Cooper. I am not Bradley Cooper. And Zach Altenack. I know. It's hard to believe. You know, he's much shorter. You're way better looking. Thank you.

But we are the broologist, the broducer, and the professor. Bring into you live from our offices, living rooms, and apartments. The Wild Times podcast, a show where we talk about everything that's topical in the wildlife world. We do a lot of bullshitting. We usually drink a little too much. Cheers, gentlemen. Cheers. And hang out.

So I say we get right into it. Guys, what's going on? Tell any stories this week? Wow. Yeah, so Forrest, I have a fucking great story. Okay. We talked on the last podcast about my friend who lives in Lake Arrowhead. and they had the flying fox

squirrel in their toilet. Yep. Flying squirrel on the toilet. Sorry. In their flying fox? That's a giant bat creature. The female, Kristen, who is pregnant, goes to, it's in the middle of the night. Apparently pregnant women pee a lot. Because things are pressing in on the bladder. You understand this as a,

as a, as a bro professor. I'm sure you know about this, Peter. And so she goes to the bathroom, middle of the night, she, it's dark, because why turn the lights on? Because then you're going to have to squint through the whole thing. That's no good. Flipped the toilet up, sits upon it, and here's thrashing. The flying fox is back in her toilet.

No way. Second time. Yeah. So clearly now they know there's an entry point. Yep. And that this fox, squirrel. Like, this flying squirrel cannot stay away from the toilet. What the fuck is going on?

I, I honestly have no idea. Because the first time this happened, I was like, oh, what a flu. Must have had a lot of Taco Bell. The squirrel got in, you know, it's ended up in the toilet. Nearly drowned, right? Because you were texting me. She warmed it up on her belly. Like, it was a whole thing.

Yeah. Yeah. That's wild. I don't know what he's doing back there. Here would be my guess. Here would be my guess. That flying squirrel probably has a nest in the, in the roof, in the wall, something like that in that bathroom. Yeah.

In that vicinity. and it's coming out and the nearest water source is the toilet and it's going for a drink and it's sliding down the ball. Mr. Clean is keeping it down there. I think that's what's happening, which, you know, that sucks for a couple of reasons, not just for the flying squirrel getting covered in poo-poo and pee-pee in toilet chemicals, but also for Kristen and Scott whose house is infested with squirrels. With flying squirrels. That's way worse than termites.

It is. Yeah, that's bad. You don't want that. That's crazy. I can't believe that happened again. That's wild. Yeah. That's insane. What's up with you, man? You got a little trip coming up to the Baja Peninsula. I do, I do. Yeah, it's been, um, things have been good. They've been a little slow. I'm working on this, uh, I'm hosting this, this expose on, on wet markets and that's coming up soon. So that's been keeping me kind of busy. But overall things have just been slow with COVID. But Mexico is open. Baja is open. One of my favorite places in the, world. And so me and a couple of my boys are jumping in the trucks and heading down there next Monday. We're just going to spend a week. We're going to load up the spear guns, load up the surfboards. Just kill it for a week, you know, live on the beach, shoot some fish, grill it up, do some surfing.

Just really bum it out. I'm looking forward to it. Well, you know what, guys, I think it's time. Love it. For what's in the news. What is in the news, man? What is in the news? Well, you know, it's funny um i've got something it's not super topical it's not like came out today but it came across my desk for the first time in a couple years hey holy shit hey hey hey hey hey um take a drink yeah oh yeah oh yeah there you go take a sub is your pup this is hoover this is hoover he's now seven months old he's a good boy what's up over he runs in and out of the office i love his man yeah get your butt out of here he's great we're doing some home projects right now and he he came to help me paint yesterday. And so his whole ass is covered in white paint and that's not going away.

It sounds like he was helping a lot and made it fast. Oh yeah. So yeah, what's in the news? He's becoming a man. Patrick, you will remember the season two of Extincter Alive. I'm like, I'm talking to Patrick. I'm talking to our partner, Eric. We're talking to the network. We're all signed off us on our end. We're like, we're doing this fucking awesome expedition. We're going to go to New Guinea, not Papua New Guinea, the Indonesian side. We're going to try. We're going to trek through these bamboo forests, and we're going to look for this creature called the Wonder Woi tree kangaroo. It's this epic tree kangaroo. It hasn't been seen since 1928. I mean, super remote. It's literally a kangaroo that lives in trees, Peter, like super weird animal.

That's fucking weird, yeah. Super cool looking everything. Yeah, yeah. And we are, we are, I think we're five episodes into a 10 episode season, so halfway in. Episode number seven, meaning we were one expedition away from going to New Guinea, this news comes out, this, this, this headline, the first sighting of the animal since 1928, an amateur botanist named Michael Smith climbed 5,000 feet up into the mountains, the exact mountains where we were going to go through dense bamboo thickets and was like, you know, he's just like over there popping off photos of orchids and be like, this is a pretty flower. I'm a botanist. Oh, there's a weird animal. Click. Thanks. Thanks, guy. Thank you very much Michael Smith for ruining our entire expedition, you son of a bitch.

You sound angry. I mean, I'm not. I'm so stoked. No, no, I'm really not. I was so stoked that we, that someone found the animal because it was, there was a huge question mark surrounding it. But he effectively canceled my trip to New Guinea that I've been looking forward to since I was, I don't know, seven. So yeah, thanks, bud. Yeah. But it's interesting that this is sort of the story has kind of been circulating this last week. Nice. Nice. Because it is a little bit older, but still very cool.

I remember when it happened, and we had put a lot of the logistics were already in place for us to go do the trip. And we were going to pretty much the same area that he was in. And he was literally photographing orchards. And what a crazy. So how long had the Wanda Boy tree kangaroo been extinct? 1928 is the year that the animal was last seen. Yeah. So we talked to Michael, Peter, because we were like, shit, you know, we had at that point done, I think, one episode maybe where the animal had been seen.

But like, it wasn't DNA. So we talked about maybe going and trying to collect DNA to officially prove that it was, that it was extant instead of extinct. And we talked to him about his journey. And man, he made it. sound like hell. It was not easy. Yeah. It was not easy.

And it was all for him in the name of taking pictures of rare orchids. Right. Right. And he days and days of travel and handmade canoes to get across. Right on. More power to him. Didn't he say it was hikes and two weeks of slashing through bamboo to get up to the mountain peaks where the bamboo broke.

So for two weeks, they were just hacking all day long through bamboo going, you know, less than a mile a day basically. Dude, he said there were some days where they only got a hundred yards because it was so thick to get up to where they wanted to go. Yeah. And like, I mean, for our show, we already, wow, that's a nuts. We do extinct or alive. Yeah.

We have such a small crew because we need time. Yeah, exactly. For us demand time because, you know, he's very important. Like, no, he needs a lot of time to look for it for these animals. and that's usually not what happens on a production budget on a TV show, but you know, when he was describing it, he's like,

dude, there are going to be days where you're going to go like 300 feet. We're like, well, can't we just use your path? But yeah, it was pretty fucking cool. Also very strange that a kangaroo lives in a tree. Yeah, super, super cool animal. But yeah, I don't know.

It's been circulating again. Got to look at another picture of the creature. I think it's awesome. But it's just a neat thing. and I just thought it was funny because this is like such an in the no thing, right? Like who knows about the Wonderway tree kangaroo? And it was like us, probably nobody else. And then Michael Smith.

So it was pretty wild. So yeah, it was pretty cool. But anyway, that's been floating around again. What about you guys? You seen anything in the news lately? Oh, yeah. I got. I mean, look, we interviewed Nico, who was the cameraman who worked on everyone's favorite Netflix series this year, the Tiger King.

Oh, yeah. And we've talked a bit about Carol Baskin. You know, we've touched on some things, but there were two other big characters on that show. Jeff Lowe, who was the guy who seemed very skeeasy. He was leather jacket headband guy, right? Yeah, exactly. And then Doc Antle, who had a similar setup in, I believe, South Carolina, right? He's the worst, by the way.

I don't know where this is going, but he is, like, in my opinion, I'm like, why isn't this about Doc Antel? Like he's been known for years. Like there's been allegations of him like fumigating tiger. Like so people can take pictures. Oh, like gnarly stuff. And anybody that's really in this wildlife world knows he's bad. Yeah, he's a bad. I fucking hated him in the documentary.

He's very unlikable character. Yeah. I hope this is bad news about it. So Doc was the one who had the Myrtle Beach Safari Park in South Carolina. Right. And there was some conjecture. Yeah, that's right. There was some conjecture on the show about Doc and how scrupulous he was when it came to the way he handled animals and stuff like that.

And a lot of the series in Tiger King, he was defending himself when he was on the camera. Obviously, it's been a thing for us. So maybe since Forrest, you seem to have a background with this. You'll be happy to know that he has been indicted on animal trafficking charges. Good. Oh, good. I feel like it's not the first time, though. I don't know.

I thought there had been many other lawsuits and somehow he'd always slimed out. out of them, but I mean, good. Well, this is a criminal charge. Yeah, so he's been indicted. Trouble. Yeah, animal trafficking. He's being accused of selling petting cubs. So I imagine that's domesticated cubs.

Yep. Selling petting cubs on a black market. That's kind of a big deal. That's a big deal. I don't know what an animal trafficking charge could do, but I imagine it's not taken very lightly. No, and he's dealing in the in the trade of endangered species, right? So he goes against the Endangered Species Act. So Tiger is obviously endangered species. Sorry, a huge bird. A huge bird just

flew down in front of my office. I think it was one of our peacocks, but I can't really tell. But yeah, so only on this fucking podcast. No. So he's, yeah, he is trading in endangered species. So that, you know, that's where it gets really crazy. Like if I want to sell you a dog, right, you come buy a dog from me. Like nobody needs to be involved. Like it's not a big deal. I can have a puppy farm out the back if I want. I'm not promoting this, but I can't because it's not endangered species, right? I could, you guys know, you've been to my house.

I could breed a million rabbits. Obviously, I don't. I breed two, but I could and I could sell them as much as I like. But they're the size of a million rabbits. They're two giant rabbits. Right. But he's dealing in tigers, chimpanzees, bears. Like, he's dealing in, first of all, things that can kill you, but secondly,

endangered species. So you're not allowed to sell endangered species. That's a thing. You can gift them as weird as that is in the law, but you kind of sell them. That is weird. Yeah. What the fuck is that out? It's, I don't know, to be honest. And honestly, I'm not big into the captive animal thing. So I don't really understand the laws. I don't really understand what's right and what's wrong other than my personal feelings towards it. But what I do know and what everybody in my field knows is Doc Antel is, you know, he's, he's fucking, he's a bad character. Like, he's a super villain when it comes to wildlife trade. He's always been the mafia king, you know, with his 12 wives and his weird compound that's always got away with it. Like, he's like, this guy's the Pablo Escobar of fucking tigers. And it sounds like he's being taken down right now. That is the vibe I got from him when I was watching the documentary.

This guy's got, you know, multiple wives. He's got, he's essentially running a cult. And instead of drugs, he's got animals there, endangered animals. And dude, it is weird that you can, you can gift endangered animals. I guess I kind of get it though because it takes out the incentive to like to breed and sell them for whatever reason it may be because a lot of the animals are endangered for a reason like you know whether they're their tusks or whatever is worth money. So I guess I kind of get the gifting thing because otherwise you could just fucking breed animals and essentially send them to slaughter or whatever just to get whatever you're going to get out of them. I got one for you. I got one for you for it.

It's going to be a fun edit, Peter. Our dog just went running after whatever the weird huge bird is, and now we don't fight, we kind of fight our dog. Oh, shit. Hold on, I'm going to call on. Sorry, everybody that's listening. I'm going to put on mute and call them pretty long. Well, we're just going to wait until you're back.

What are you watching? What game, Pat? It's just the night game. The Rams 49ers. I got a bunch of shit going on draft games, man. Is it a good game? though or is it just a shit game with good oh dude i didn't tell you no no i couldn't give a fuck about the game i didn't tell you about this dude he's fine he came running up with a huge

smile on his face so uh this probably is no one cares about this for the podcast i'm here sorry guys i got one for you i got one for you for it's i came across this in my in my reddit feed so i'm look at my phone. On your desk? But fascinating. I didn't want to take a drink, so I didn't come across my desk. But apparently there's a species of snake that are capable of performing gliding flight with ranges up to 100 meters. And it's the, I can't pronounce it, Chrysopelia, Chrysopelia genus of the species of snake. Yeah, that's a Latin name. I'm not sure. Yeah, that's a Latin name.

Yeah, that's a real thing. The fascinating part, though, they achieve it by leaping from branches and then sucking in their abdomen and flaring out their ribs, turning their body into like a concave wingsuit. I'm like, that's fucking crazy, dude. And then if you see, tell me about it. I mean, you nailed it to be quite honest. But yeah, I caught one in Sri Lanka and it's an incredible species. They're incredible animals. There's a handful of these gliding snakes.

They used to call them flying snakes, but they don't, you know, flap their little wings. So they're actually gliding snakes. But you- Fucking terrifying, my way. And if you see it, like, have you ever seen a snake swim? Have you, by chance, ever seen a video of a snake how it swims and the water kind of ripples? Oh, yeah. They do that in the air, which is incredible.

So they climb up these trees. These are generally canopy-based snakes. I live up high in the canopy. And when they want to get from one tree to another for prey, they literally do exactly. he said they coil up like they're in strike position they launch themselves forward off of this branch and they go from you know a perfect cylindrical well not perfect but a round cylindrical snake and they concave their body flatten out their ribs and they become flat kind of like a paper airplane in shape and then they swim in the air just like it's like we're talking about swimming to to help them

actually propel themselves from tree to tree and it's it's it's bananas it's incredible crazy And what's the use of that? It's for finding more rodents. Yeah. It's just an evolutionary advantage to move from tree to tree without slowly, you know, finding branches to get between. And it's just, it's like one of those incredible things where Mother Nature was just like,

here's a hole. Like, here's a niche. We need a snake that can fly. And then some snake was like, I got you, you know? And just over evolutionary time figured it out. And I think they're super cool. Imagine, Pat, imagine if you could do that.

I mean, you would do it every day. No, I would. If I could manipulate my own rib cage, I would just use it to suck my own day. Of course. Of course. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like Maryland, man.

Of course. Yeah, exactly. That's how I said it. Yeah, I would just move the rib cage out of the way and then just go to town. We're, we're, I was thinking about, I was thinking about holding that one in and then dropping it as a surprise in a battle royale. But I was like, this is too good. I need to, I need to actually hear about. No, they're, they're super cool, man.

They're just such, yeah. I was, I was in the Florida Everglades, and we were taking this crazy, souped up, like, buggy thing. And I was standing it, had a little flatbed in the back for gear. And I was standing in the back, holding onto the guardrails. And we were just cruising through and smashing into all these trees. So I would duck underneath the cab of the buggy. And all of a sudden, this fucking, I feel something on my head. I didn't used to wear hats.

This is only a COVID. This was a long hair thing. And I feel something on my head, like, God. And I assume it's a branch and I grab it. And for a second, I still think it's a branch. And it was a fucking saying that was about, yeah, it was about this, uh, this. And I had landed on my fucking head that fell out of the truth. No way.

Dude. Nightmare. I still have like weird PTSD from this moment. And I was just like, oh God. And just threw it out of this moving dune buggy. But imagine if a flying snake just like flew into your mouth. Oh my God. Wait, for us, do they ever, are they in groups ever?

Well, you'll just see one. Would it ever be like you'll see 10 of them fucking coming down from a tree? You know, who knows? The field of herpetology is so under people, I think I've said this on the podcast before. Herpetologists in particular think they know everything when it comes to reptiles and amphibians. and they know probably the least. And, you know, as far as any video that I've ever seen or as far as anybody knows, these are all solitary animals,

I wouldn't be surprised if there were large congregations. You know, how many people are studying these incredibly elusive creatures at 150 feet up in the canopy every single second to be like, oh, it turns out three times a year they get into clusters of 10,000. You wouldn't even know, you know? Yeah, that's such an interesting thing because you really don't think about the logistics of, of investigating certain animals.

Like that's a, that's a fucking ordeal pain in the ass to like try and research that animal. Wow, look how Luke is getting real big. Yeah, it's a nightmare studying some of them. Patrick, tell us about how Luca's training school ended up. Is she like just the most well-behaved creature on earth now? It's, it's pretty unbelievable how good these these people are. So they train a lot of the dogs. So it's a, it's a shepherd training school.

Luca, right, some shepherd. Because Luca's your German shepherd. Correct. She has, she's half. She's a half-sees. She's very small, though. She's not trending to be the size of a full-grown German shepherd. So we should accept her, dad.

Yeah, okay. I'm very meager. I'm very meager. But it's crazy. So they train a lot of the LAPD dogs when we went for our consultation. They showed us some of the police dogs that they were training. And they did the whole thing with the bite suit, which was super cool. And actually the woman who owns the place offered, she was like, if you want to wear the

bite suit, you could try it. I was like, the fuck now. I don't want to do it right now at 8 o'clock on a Monday. I know you would have done it. Or ever. I would have tried it for sure. Yeah. Without the suit.

But it's pretty unbelievable. Like she, I don't know how they do this. She went basically to sleepaway camp Monday to Friday for four weeks. If I just say place, she am. immediately goes to her Christmas dog bed that I just bought. I'm very happy about it. Nice. Nice.

Merry Christmas. And lays down and waits and waits and will wait indefinitely. Oh, that's great. It's unbelievable. I mean, like, we do trainings too. So we were doing two a week while she was there to like learn how to behave properly and do all the right stuff. But ultimately, she's still the same fucking dog. Right.

She's a nutcase when someone comes over. Right. And that's, I don't think that's ever going to change. Right. But it's, the way that they manipulate animal behavior is so fucking impressive. Like you can YouTube it and Google it all you want. Mm-hmm.

You're like a pro who does it, you know, 50 hours a week. Like, it is crazy. It's a serious thing. It's one of those things too where it's like you would think like that's kind of scammy or whatever, you know, but it's real. Like it's hard concrete. The fucking dog's behavior is changed. Like that's that. It's no foo-foo bullshit.

And you have to speak dog, by the way. And, like, I'm not just, you know, like, I love animals. We all know that a little bit. Like, and I love my dog. And I feel like I know what he's thinking a lot. I don't speak dog, you know, not the way that these animal trainers who do nothing but try and understand and manipulate their behavior 14 hours a day do. It's, it's amazing.

I think it's the reason that, like, what was that guy's name? Caesar Malon, the dog whisperer was so famous, right? Like, he legit spoke dog. Like, if you watched him, you're like, Oh, shit. He just like, the dog understands exactly what he wants at every single time he says it. Like, it's amazing. Yeah.

Yeah. It is. It's insane. I mean, it almost seems like a like a six cents superpower type thing rather than just, but it, but it's like dogs understand so much more than just, well, they obviously don't understand the actual words you're saying. But they, they take cues from like your body language, your eyes, like everything, you know? They understand my. She understands my body. language more than any friend or my fee, anybody that I know.

Oh yeah. So like if she's, she's acting a fool like when someone comes over, that's the time where her training essentially goes out the window. Yeah. But if I do this thing where I, I furrow my brow, which I sort of just do all the time anyway. Yeah. You did it to me at least 10 times during this podcast. Yeah.

And then just stand up and just walk towards her. She knows. And she just goes. Yeah. and just lays down. It's like, I'm so, I'm fucking sorry. I'm sorry. And like, she just looks at me.

The body language cues are incredible. Now, did she do that before you went to, uh, to the train? Yeah. Oh, so she's always, for all dogs. That's instinctual for them, for sure. Um, yeah. So Patrick. Forrest, I, yep.

Yeah. No, sorry, go ahead. No. Because I, I, I just said it's something I needed to get your opinion. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's hear it. So, yes, sir.

All right. So there's a series on Netflix. Uh, a docu series called The Staircase. Okay. Right. And producer Will had watched the series, and he calls me, he's like, dude, I just rewatched the staircase on Netflix.

And it's essentially a crime mystery. So I was like, okay, well, watch it. We've binged the whole thing this week. Okay. So it's a murder story. Okay. So it's this woman who falls down the stairs and dies or they find her dead. at the bottom of the stairs. Her husband is accused of murder, and it just fucks his life up.

They think that she's been pushed down the stairs forcefully because of a series of events, whatever. But they find out that he didn't do it. He's wrongfully accused, etc. Towards the end of this show, one of the husband's attorneys reviews the crime seat evidence. Okay. and finds that there is a bloody feather in the wife's hair. What are your initial thoughts here? What? Yeah.

So there's a, so clearly right before he pushes her down the stairs, he's like, dips a feather in blood, slips it in blood. Is this in her, in a house? Yeah.

It was inside their house. They were really rich. They were wealthy. It's a big house. Yeah. And they find her dead at the bottom. He's, he's,

I believe, being held. without bail for her murder because they think she's been pushed because of the force. I mean, did he beat her down the stairs with a pillow stuffed with rare exotic bird feathers? Like, I don't fucking know.

Like, what? No, there was only one feather with blood on it. Did he bludging her with a bird? I don't, I don't know, man. I don't know. This is bizarre. Like, I have no idea. As if meticulously planted.

But here's the weird thing. This feather was from an owl. A barred owl. Oh, the interesting. A barn. A bard owl. Oh, a bard owl. It's from a barred owl. So I might have a theory then.

Go for it. Yes. Look at that one piece of information has tipped him. I've never even heard of it. My theory and Patrick's going to be like, no, that's stupid. Or yes, you nailed it in a second. would be that maybe she got like big house, owl flies in the window, she's at the top of the stairs, startles her,

maybe it even hits her, who knows, gets that close, knocks, you know, she goes flying down the stairs, dies obviously from the impact, owl's fault,

not the husbands. That, I don't know. That is literally the theory. Really, is it really? An owl, she may have suffered an owl attack

or it flew into her head really fast. And insanely, in this particular area, in North Carolina, there actually have been several documented owl attacks that have resulted in people's deaths. No way. Really? I've heard of an owl attack resulting in death. I didn't even know that was a thing.

What, are owl attacks in general? Like, do they attack humans? Are they territorial? I mean, obviously, a little bit. But I mean, if you're an expert, as a wildlife expert, you know, do you have anything to fear from an owl? I would say not unless you're a field mouse, you know, like, relax. You know, have you ever seen an owl? Have you ever seen an owl and like turned and ran away? You know, you always go and check it out. Like, it's, it's an owl. So, really interesting.

And I, so this guy's sitting in jail. I didn't even know that they're real. He's been out now. He's out now. Oh, he's out now. But yes, so the prevailing theory that that some people are positing is that this owl may have slammed into the back of her head propelling her down the stairs. and that she died as a result, which, look, we're all going to die someday. I'd like to be 90. I don't want to live to 100 because that gets creepy. But I'd like to, at 90, be murdered by an owl. Yeah. That sounds pretty good.

Way to go. Really? Yeah. Nah. Way to go. I want to be taking a picture with my great grandkids at the Grand Canyon, and I want an owl to fly into my head and knock you off the edge. Yeah.

Oh, God. Wow. That would be a great viral video. More viral than kind of viral. That's a crazy story, though, death by owl. I didn't, like, as a, you know, just as a wildlife guy, if you asked me if that, if you asked me if there had ever, ever been a death from an owl attack, I would say no. You know, maybe someone hit one with their car and veered off and died kind of thing,

but no one's ever been killed by an owl. So that's really cool. I mean, sucks for the guy. Sucks more for his wife. But, yeah, that's wild. Pat, let me ask you a question. And you watch this. So is he, if you didn't know anything about this guy watching like the footage of him,

I assume they interview him or they show court footage or something or he does some kind of an interview. Is he, would you believe him? Is he like, shocked? Is he like, I have no idea what happened? He's not claiming, hey, this was an owl. But, uh, you know, My buddy's owl, man. I'm telling you.

Yeah. These fucking owls. Classic, all the typical reasons to think that it was him. There was life insurance involved. It seems that there was motive, you know, there are friends that testified that they were arguing. So it looks bad, you know. But by the way, anyone who's been in a fucking relationship can attest to the fact that, like, who hasn't been arguing? You know what I mean?

Who hasn't thought about throwing their better half down the stairs? Who hasn't thought about training and acting? And out of them. Right. There you go. But the life insurance thing is always in my mind a dead giveaway. If the, if the prosecution, if I was on a jury and they're like, they took out a $350,000 life insurance policy three months ago. Like I would be, I don't know how I could get over it. I would. Or let me ask you this. Is it a final destination thing where the second you take out life insurance, you're just a ticking time bomb? You know, it's just like, oh, he's got it. Like, it might as well losing it.

He's on him. That's locked on the radar. I've never done it. Like, my accountant is always like, you need life insurance. I was like, I don't like thinking about that. So I'm just not going to do it. I, uh, it's just, I, I, you got to leave it all through your cat.

Split it between Lemley and Luca. Um, I learned a new animal fact today from producer will. And it's, that's hard to get these days. I'm not going to lie. I am a nerd in every sense of the word. I like to learn as many weird animal facts as I can. But producer Will came to me and said, hey, do you know about female moles growing testicles? I was like, excuse me?

This is a real thing that I learned about this week. So it's not really what's in the news, but I think it's fascinating. I can tell you that when Will told me about it, he sounded like he was Kenny Powers, and that was pretty sweet. But yeah, so apparently... What do you mean by that? Say it in how he told you. Have you seen East Bound and down?

I have, but I don't think our listeners have. So I want... I can't do it. I'm not. Patrick could probably do it. I could. There's no way. All right.

I don't have enough white flesh DNA in me. But, no, I don't mean he sounded like Kenny Powers. It just sounded like a Kenny Powers line. Oh, yeah. Anyway, look, all that aside, what I found out was that, and I found this really interesting, female moles will develop testicles that grow on their ovaries, even though they kind of produce sperm. And what they do is they harness these male sex hormones so that when another female comes to confrontation with, it comes into confrontation with them, comes to fight them, they get this adrenaline rush and pull testosterone from the nads.

basically to fight. Whoa. Yeah. Which is insane. It's like they have this reserve. That is insane. These reserve balls full of testosterone. So as soon as they're confronted with a snake or another female or anything, they're just

like switch into fucking beast mode, get this flood of testosterone and just go ham on their on their counterpart, which is pretty nuts. That could have used a set of those when he shit his pants when he got in that fight back when he would all use a set of excellent. I pissed. I pissed. I pissed. Oh, sorry. I thought you had taken, I thought you shit yourself when wearing, uh, wearing white short shorts.

I've never shit myself. Anyway, that's what I like to. Madagascar ever. Where we all did. Even when I was a baby. My mom was always like, where is the shit go? Just evaporates inside of your stomach. He's just running at a hundred beneficiary at all times.

Exactly. So, for us, I, we were watching. This is. our insane Saturday afternoon. We were taking a little break and we went down a little YouTube wormhole yesterday. Mm. Okay. And we're watching Alaskan brown bears, uh, male Alaskan brown bears having territorial fights

during mating season. So picture two, you know, 13 to 1,600 pound bears that are five feet at the hump when they're standing on all fours. Yeah, monsters. And they stand up on their back feet and they stand up on their back feet and they, and they fight. And one after the day, I mean,

they fight, like, there's a lot of them, and they just battle royale fucking fight. And all the fights essentially look the same in which these two massive bears with incredibly powerful jaws. Yeah. They essentially bite each other.

Usually their mouths, they first latch on to each other's mouths. And then they sort of make their way over to like the cheek of the other bear. And they hang on and they wrestle their heads around. Oh. where each bear is essentially biting the other one's cheek, right? Sounds brutal. And so we're watching these fights, and usually they last for a minute or 30 seconds,

and then they kind of stop. And then both bear sort of stand on all fours and just drool and kind of move their jaws around for a bit. And it's like this aftermath, and you see fur flying and everything. But we were like talking about, like, how hurt is the bear there? Like is that a, obviously it's not deadly because they go on to survive for a while. But are those like catastrophic injuries that they're suffering in the name of like territory? It can be. So what you're seeing when you see those two mouths open and kind of interlock is it's, it's a threat display. It's them showing off their teeth to say this is how bad my weapons are. Right. It's like two gangs are not standing on either side of the alley holding their knives being like you really want a piece of this.

it's a little more intimate obviously because they're right there. But what you don't see is one bear taking the other bear down and ripping it to shreds, right? Like they both back off, which is when they're standing around drooling and all of that. So they're really more like the two guys in the bar that are pushing each other and nobody's throwing the punch. You know what I mean? They're just like, what do you want, bro?

What do you fucking want? You know what I mean? They're kind of just sizing each other up and pushing each other without really throwing the punch. And the punch, you know, when you see a bear, I don't know if you guys saw this insane video of this brown bear taking down this elk and Yellowstone like a week, two weeks ago. You see what a deadly strike looks like. You know, they go for the jugular. They go for the throat.

They have the claws out. And it is fucking brutal. And that's the difference. They're not trying to actually murder each other. They're just sizing each other up. And it does escalate. Just like in humans, like, you know, one guy pushes too hard. And the other guy goes, oh, now you're fucking get.

it, you know, and it does escalate. And that's where animals get hurt. Like those jaw bites and things, those bits of fur flying, they'll get scratches, they'll get bad infections. And that's where you see animals with broken jaws and animals with, you know, missing an eye and all of that. It's like, the fight escalated. And, and that's where it's not. But there's a big difference between that kind of fight and the legitimate fight to the death, which is like, this is my meal that I need to kill and eat. And that's kind of the difference. So it's still gnarly. Don't get me wrong. But it's not that like, I'm here to kill you kind of fight. So they walk away from these fights.

Obviously, it hurts. Yes. If a brown bear bit my cheek, I am probably going to bleed out and die. But they go on to maybe have some sex. For sure. Yeah. One of them, one of them. Well, they are French kissing.

One of them's taken off going, fuck, that sucks. Like, I'm hurt. You know, they're like walking out of a boxing match going, I lost, you know, but they're not dead. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, yeah, being in an MMA fight. Like the guy who loses, both of them suffer. right after the MMA fight, but the guy who lost definitely suffered more. And so it's kind of like that.

Like they're both walking away, but it was not fun for anybody. What a rough world. Yeah. What a rough world. Yeah. Guys, guys, there's more in the news about aliens. Uh-oh. You know, I love aliens.

Tell us. This is going to be about octopus or what? Well, I mean, there's going to be a little diatribe on the side about octopus. But so in a podcast or two ago, they had discovered, I believe there was some kind of gas or some kind of element that typically only exists with animal activity. I think it was on Venus. I can't remember exactly. But anyways, now they have detected an amino acid glycine in the atmosphere of Venus, which again hints at the presence of life on the planet. So, I mean, I feel like we're getting pretty close to disclosure here.

What's your theory, Peter? I know what it is. But for the brosners, what is your theory? Where did octopus come from? Peter, tell us. Well, from obviously from Venus. But I mean, I was going to say, though, this is what reminded me that I had saved this was that I was watching my octopus teacher, which everybody should watch.

But I know you guys found it to be incredibly boring. and slow paced. But the footage of octopus has 100% certified my belief that octopus are aliens. There is, dude, this, the footage, they turn, they can switch their entire body into a fucking rock. They, they can, like, they'll, like, gather an entire, uh, cornucopia of shells and rocks to essentially camouflage themselves. And I mean, dude, like, and they have, like,

like feelings. These things are aliens and they probably come from this glycine on. There you go. I do want to watch my octopus teacher. And let me be clear. I tried it. I was not in the right frame of mind for it. You know what I mean?

And I like threw it on. Five minutes went by and I was like bored next. I need to like. It's very slow. I need to like sit down and commit to it. But they're, I mean, are they going to take over the world, Peter? What do you think?

Is this 2022? Are we talked octopus? Empers or what? They're smart enough. I don't. I think they have a little bit. They're too skittish. Like they're not territorial.

So I don't think they're going to take over the world because they're only looking for food and hiding. That's what they're doing. Yeah. I don't know, man, but I love them. Especially after watching that, dude, this guy's got this octopus. It's literally suctioning to his arm. They're like essentially doing a dance in the fucking sea. This thing has like, they have an emotional attachment to each other.

other and watching this octopus essentially it essentially was like having it was almost like watching a pet dog or like you know a pet be like loyal to someone but it's in the ocean and it's like showing this guy its world and what it can do and where it goes and and how it gets food and how it like protects itself and it's fucking fascinating so you're saying for the brosuners that are interested that despite the fact that the show or the limited series, I'm assuming, my octopus teacher on Netflix is slow. Oh, it's like a movie? Just one, yeah, one documentary.

So it's worth watching it because the behavior that you'll get into if you can get through the slowness at the beginning is amazing. 100%. You need to fast forward the first 10 minutes where you're just getting the guy's backstory and he's sitting there in a chair talking to the camera because that's what that's what lost me. Like I just sat there and I was like, I want to do something cool. And then it's a guy literally just boring as well.

we are right now sitting talking in a chair. And I was like, all right. Listen, we're not boring. We're not boring. But you can definitely skip that part. You don't have to be attached to this guy.

I mean, it's all about fucking this octopus. Because I don't want to watch that, Peter. Fucking this octopus. I put the correct infestest. It's a label. Not better.

Okay. So it's real quick, Forrest, back to the bear thing. It made me think, because I was thinking, okay, what is this driven by? Because these bears don't hate each other.

Obviously, it's, it's got to be amazing. Hey, I've got a mate. I got to fuck. This thing's coming in. I want to fuck here. It's all testosterone. Yep. Competition.

So a buddy of mine, he's another TV producer. He's like, he's in his mid-40s. And he's done having kids. And he just, he's a big fan of Joe Rogan. And Joe Rogan talks a lot about testosterone replacement therapy. And so this dude, he was like, you know what like i'm going to try it like i work out but i'm getting older my metabolism slow and my moods like not as good so he just he recently started doing it like four months ago

and he yeah talking about it and he's like dude he goes i've changed nothing so got you know always eat kind of healthy but i drink wine i always work out pretty good but not insane he's like i have a six-pack no way he lifts up his shirt and he legit has a six-pack he's like i don't He's like, I haven't had a six-back since I was 20. And he's like, and the other thing is he's like, I find every woman I see, like, I'll look at women that like normally I wouldn't, and I'm like, look, I'm like, she smells great. Like, he's like, it's literally like I'm in grade school with owner.

And he said he also is like, he's having to control the urge to fight. Yeah, I remember that. I'm like wanting to touch 22. I was, that was everything you just said. was me in college. Like my, I used to, I used to go to a, I used to go to a party and be like, I have to do one of two things tonight. I have to fuck something or fight something. Like those are my option. Like I have no other option.

Sure. Yeah, every single night. Yeah. It's right. Jeez. It's so crazy to think about though how much the chemicals within our body and our, and our, uh, what are they called? Hormones? What's testosterone? Testicles? Yeah, hormones. Determine our mood and our, how our brain thinks. Like, think we're in such control of our reality. And it's like the reality is you can take a supplement and it completely changes how you feel.

Yeah. Of course. I thought about that many times just having experimented in drugs thinking about like, wow, like I am no longer, you know, afterwards. I'll be like, I was not even on earth. Right. Like I was like, I don't even know what the fuck was happening. I was floating in the universe.

And then like when I would really think about it, I would be like, like, I was legitimately not a physical, like being anymore. And then you come back and you get into reality. But dude, chemicals can just, I mean, your brain is just chemicals. Fucking firing signals everywhere. And you know what's, you know what's really amazing. Do you know how you make a hormone? Do you know, no, you don't pay her in a lap?

Oh, my. Yeah. No, that is. We just lost every. You should have 10 kids tomorrow because that's, that's a good dad. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, by the way.

Yeah. Oh, you know, I was just going to say one more thing on that topic that I don't know. Like, maybe I should listen to more Joe's shows because I don't know about this. But this whole new trend of like putting testosterone back in your body, there's a reason we run out of it, right? Testosterone is an extremely corrosive hormone. Like it's the reason you get your dog fixed, you chop off his balls is so that he's healthier and lives longer because he doesn't have more testosterone. He's not going to fight or fuck everything. So being, you know, guys in our 30s and 40s, 50s and 60s, however old, you know, your buddy's in his 40s, I don't think you're supposed to have, I don't think you're supposed to be at 100% testosterone at that age.

Like that is, don't get me wrong. You're going to feel great. You're going to want to fuck things. You're going to want to fight things. Your muscles are going to get juiced. But I think, and this is not my area of expertise, I think your hair is going to fall out more. Like, you're going to age quicker. Like, it's a very, very corrosive thing.

Like, there's a reason to spike when we do and we peek with that camera. chemical that that hormone and then it drops off it's because you need it to get there to grow to make it and then it levels off so that your body can you know like mellow out like it's like it's like being on caffeine 24-7 right like you're gonna you're gonna crash you're gonna run out of energy so i just I don't really know how testosterone uh treatment works but I know this is like a big trend now where people are getting more of it Joe Rogan's doing it your buddy's doing it and they're like they're bringing your levels back up to 100% of what your body can staying.

Yeah, it's when you're 20, 20 years old. Yeah, but I don't think that's good for you. Like, do you remember, like, you were just talking about how it changes your mental state, right? How fucking. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, well, that's because of the chemistry. In your brain.

It's almost like it, it overclocks your body. I mean, when you're that age, I mean, a lot more of your time. And what you're doing in life is, is, is in your brain and in your brain and your mind you're you're you're figuring out problems you're you're whatever you're doing you're not physically like going and punching somebody in the face anymore when you're 40 right you know your body is physically is good you know and testosterone might give you the more energy that you feel good but i mean you're probably right dude nothing comes without a consequence when you're fucking around with with nature like when you hear when you hear joe rogan describe it he he was saying

he was doing sherman an anecdote was like uh he's like, you know, he's like, you know, you go to like a hotel pool and like, it's like a nice hotel. You're on a vacation. You go to the hotel pool. He's like, you look and there's like a 60 year old guy who's like got his BLT resting on his belly while he reads his Kindle. And like his wife,

his wife is atrocious and they're not talking. He's like, and then there's always like one 60 year old guy who's like in great shape. His eyes are glowing. Yeah. And he's like tossing his like 38 year old wife like into the deep end of the pool. And they're laughing and cheering. He's like, that's the guy who's on testosterone replacement. Oh, when you put it like that, shit.

Yeah, that sounds fantastic. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Maybe I'll try it one day. Have you guys seen, uh, pictures of Jeff Bezos, you know, the, the owner, CEO, guy who created Amazon from back in the day. He used to be this meager, like hunched over. nerd at like a desk and now he looks he's like got the shaved head he's like a bionic man

swallow yeah he's like you know and i'm i'm thinking of myself i'm wondering did this guy just does he just have enough time on his hands now because he's a billionaire or is there something is he getting some help like i mean better than sterilized there's zero trends i think all those people and this is me being a skeptic i think all those guys that are in that level of wealth especially in Hollywood. They're all getting like HGH treatment, human growth hormone treatment, testosterone. Sure, yeah.

You know, on top of that, they have diet. Yeah, everything. They're spending, and they don't have to do anything, right? They just write a check. So it's like, hey, take this pill. Hey, show up here for 10 minutes. Like, it's not like it takes up their whole lives. It's just they write a check and they feel and look invincible.

Oh, dude. Mel Gibson has talked about his like 90-something-year-old father had some chronic condition. and he paid a couple million dollars. They went to Panama where you can do this thing where you get stem cells from like baby placentas or whatever the fuck. Right. And he's like five years later, like my dad is acting like he's 60 again. He's 95 now.

Right. You know, I think when there's a lot of money and you have a lot of interest in maintaining your love. Like if Jeff Bezos just realized like, hey, man, I'm waking up and I'm still sleepy. he's going to talk to someone and be like, yeah, how much is it? A billion dollars? Yes. Yeah.

Let's take my private jet to Panama, like literally fly there today. Get this. Dude, it's interesting, though, that you bring that up because, you know, Trump recently had COVID. And it's a hot button issue because three days. That therapy that it, yeah, the therapy that he used was stem cell shit. And I was like, it's so ridiculous. I'm not going to get into politics or anything.

But, you know, like a lot of his base are. kind of these evangelical Christians who don't believe in abortion and all this stuff. And the guy, you know, that's the whole reason why we don't have the stem cells here in the U.S. is because of this kind of movement that is anti-abortion and they think it's murder and all this stuff. And here he is. And he's fucking better in what, two days? Well, like three days.

This isn't a new thing, by the way. Like, remember Magic Johnson had AIDS and then he didn't. You know what I mean? Like he just bought his way out of AIDS somehow. You know what I mean? It's like the first one. Yeah. not really a new thing. Like money, you know, the technology just keeps advancing and money can,

you know, I, like, look at, this is going to upset some people. I don't give a shit. Look at those Kardashians. Like, they're fucking heinous looking people, but they have so much money. Except me. I love it. Like, you look, pull up a picture. They're fucking gorgeous. They have bought those looks. Like Kim Kardashian. Oh my God. I know. I think it's Kim. I don't know which one it is, but one of them changed faces like four fucking times. Chloe. That's Chloe. Chloe looks completely different. Kim was always very pretty objectively. Chloe was not. No.

And she's completely, she has a different head. You can't even recognize her. Like anybody that thinks money doesn't buy beauty, like that there's your case study right there. Like that was that was a piglet. Yeah. She's gorgeous.

You know what I mean? Listen, there's nothing like I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just the way that it is and that's the way it's going to be. But it is interesting because the, the Kardashians, I don't even know. She's a billionaire. If she didn't get, if she didn't pay with a couple, when she had a few million to get that beautiful face of hers, she never would have made it to billionaire status. Probably. Yeah. But the point is just except, right? Like, don't, don't, like, for me that my,

my point of bringing that up is like, except that money can buy beauty because it can in this day and age. Like this whole like, oh, don't objectify and like, don't, you know, it has nothing to do with their finance. Like, it does. It has everything to do. at their finance. Like, it doesn't matter what you look like, money can buy beauty in today's day and age. And that's, that's bizarre. And you and you. It is weird. Apparently. I will say, it's so nice not caring. Yeah. Forrest you have to be on camera. So like probably to some extent, like that's probably why you're working here. He doesn't care. Wait, him. Yeah, but he works out literally every single day. But look at him. But man, when you just don't care, like, I just don't care

about how I look at him. I literally stopped carrying probably three years ago. Yeah, we can tell. Wonderful. It's so great when you just go, I'm done, I'm done.

My love for no longer going to get me anything ever again. It's funny because like I stopped carrying 35 years ago. I'm 37. And, but Pat, pat, honestly, I've known him since I essentially moved to L.A. And he would,

he would fucking just really razzed. me about things. I remember I had a dark tooth because my tooth was chipped and it was slowly dying and it was dark. And he just kind of smugly one time said to me, goes, you know, it's, it's probably preventing you from getting gigs because it's like, you know, whatever you said, people don't want to talk about it, but like, you know, they notice that shit. But like he was, it was always very vain and he made me switch stuff up, which is a good thing. And I, I appreciate it. was a monstrosity. It really was. But my clothes, dude, everything I used to wear. I remember I'd come out to the car.

hold on i'd come out to the car like out of my apartment building pat would be picking me up or whatever and uh i he just like looked me up and down with like a smirk and i'd get in the car and i'd be like what's so funny like and he literally was just like judging the fuck out of me and it's funny to hear him say now like i i i'm proud of you man that you don't give a shit anymore i appreciate that uh i'm getting better looking you are a fart face yeah that's a good point you said it Hey guys, it's time. Wait, hold on. Not yet.

It is time for something, Pat, even though you erroneously tried to make a time for what it is not. All right. It is time for factor fiction, gents. We haven't done in a couple episodes. Oh, it's a favorite. Yes. Today's episode will only involve me in For us. So, Pat, mute your mic.

I'm just kidding. I scared the shit out of my dog. I'm super sad. She's like protecting me now. I'm sorry. All right, gentlemen. As always, Pat will guess first because he knows nothing. Forrest is an animal expert, so he will guess last.

Okay. And then I will tell you who's right. This game's simple. I tell you a fact or a fiction, and you tell me if it is fact or fiction. Okay. Here we go. Let's do it. First one, the word anaconda originated from Tamil language.

Anai contra, meaning elephant killer. Is this a true statement or bullshit that I made up myself? So I'm supposed to go first. Interesting. And here's a thing. I don't know anything about what Tamil is or whether an anaconda could kill an elephant or whether some people may have thought they could. But I'm going to say it's fact because I don't think your brain is capable of that level of creativity.

That's a good reason. Fair enough. Fair enough reason. I'm that, so here, I'm torn, and I'll give you my, I'll give you my answer at the end of explaining why I'm torn. First of all, anacondas and elephants do not coexist. Anacondas live in South America, elephants live in Africa and India. Tamil is an Indian language, right? Or it's an Indian people, so I assume it's an Indian language.

But anacondas live in South America. So I'm going to go, big. Yeah, I'm gonna go, but I know anaconda has also been used as like a slang term for big snakes, but then how do it get to South America? No, fiction. That's bullshit. No way. You're, you're, yeah, no way. How are anaconda is an elephant killer? No, that's nonsense. Two different animals, two different continents. I like this. We have, uh, two different outcomes, two different guesses here. Only one is right. And unfortunately, it's Pat. Um, Pat is correct. There's no way I could have come up with such a complicated thing. Very elaborate. Forrest, you know, you're thinking a little too biology brain here. There's no way to meal language. Just think of what Peter's primitive brains.

Yeah, totally. All right. What's next? What do we got? Number two, I'm winning. Good one. Well, so it's a little unfair. Herring fish communicate with each other by synchronized farting.

Fiction. Fuck off. I actually. I know the answer to this one. It is, they do release gas bubbles that help them communicate how far to be away from each other. This one is fact. That is correct. It is indeed fact.

Forrest has already explained it. They synchronize fart bubbles and they know what they're talking about. Dude, that makes me feel bad that like, you should. People eat herring, like Kippard Herring. It's like sort of a garbage fish that like people eat. are they intelligently farting or? No, no, no, no. They're low down on the food chain.

It's just like, it's not communicating like, you know, like I'm going to morse code fart to you and tell you what I'm talking about. It's more just like when I, you know, when I let out this much gas run or this, you know, it's, how would I explain this? Like, letting out gas means food or it means swim this way. It's very like instinctual. It's not, it's not like, you know, clever farting. Do other fish?

Clever farting? Do other species do this? Or is the herring unique? It's not necessarily all farting. That's kind of a broad term. But yeah, a couple species do communicate through like gill flare, through releasing gas. You know, most of them are through like lateral lines and things like that.

But it's how, you know, fish don't just swim into each other, right? Like, if you see a school of fish, they're all perfectly synchronized. Right. That's like basically, that's to do with lateral lines a lot. But the point is they're doing that without their brains even really registered. stirring that they're doing that. Incredible. Incredible. Very. Synchronized farting.

Bonobos. One to one. One to one. Now listen, I'm going to give you guys a hint. It took me a while to word this correctly. Okay. You be the judge of what that means. But Bonobos are famous. Sure. Bonobos. Famous sexual bonobos. Bonobos are famous sexual deviant. They have orgies and they share partners. They even have anal sex. Some have even been known to have foot fetishes. Okay, so this

is true. And the reason I know this is because there's a very famous book. And by the way, Forrest, you should be judging whether this is factor. Oh, there you go. There's a famous book about Bonobo's sexual activity.

They're often referenced by I know it's like therapists and psychoanalysts will talk about bonobos because they have all this interesting sexual and mating behavior. They're super unique. I don't know about the fact that they're into anal and dildos or whatever you said. But I'm going to say this is true, whatever you've said.

And for us of foot fetish, for those watching on YouTube, we do have a YouTube channel. Peter's feet have been very much on display. You should have told me that. You should have told me that beautiful hours ago. No, they're terrible. Nobody wants to see that. God, now I've got to cut it out. You're forgetting the fact that we have animal people on here, and any of those animal people are maybe in the crossover space,

and you have the feet of an elephant. You know, they're just broad and flat and very... My girlfriend watches this podcast, and she will throw up if she sees my feet. Right. I mean, honestly, your feet look great. No, they're not. You have a big budget for Pumice Stone. Big Pumice budget.

Sorry, for us. All right. We're good. For us, are Bonobos famous sexual deviance? So that's the thing. They are. Bonobos are famous sexual deviants. The part I don't believe in your story is that they have foot fetishes. I totally believe they're going to hold's the goal. Like they are sexual deviant, but I just don't know about the foot fetish. That being said, I'm going to err on the side of true. I know what Patrick's talking about. I know that they're sexually super crazy. And I wouldn't be surprised if one was Jay Owen into a foot. So I'm going to go true. Jay Owen into a foot Sadly my friends You've both gotten it wrong

What part was false? What part was false? It's all made up I don't even know where you came up with the No It's for sure they have They definitely have orgies Okay

It was a trick They don't have foot fetishes Okay Just kidding Oh okay You know what it is what the book is about is that Bonobos have a lot of

casual sex. Yeah. So they casually have sex without the intent of mating. No orgies, no partner, no anal sex, and no foot fetish. They're very interesting. You're getting better at this game, by the way, Peter. Like, when you create these, like, yeah, pretty good. Well, this is actually, this is actually a will helped quite a bit.

Oh, that would make more sense. Yeah. Also, there's a large amount of, I'm delivering it, Perfectly. There's a large amount of gay bonobos. So there's a large amount of homosexual activity within the bonobo. Nothing wrong with that. Community. That's,

we do know that the gays are a lot more sexually, they like to do a lot more experimentation with their sexuality. And is that science? Yeah. Is that not true? Is that science or? I'm friends with many, I'm, I'm friends with many gay people and they, listen, if you're a male.

I wish I was gay, but I still don't think. Males like to have more sex. I guess I don't mean gay. I'm just, I'm saying male. Peter, you are digging out of my friend. Yeah.

What are you talking about? Is this somehow not politically correct? I don't know. Somehow. Somehow it's not. Okay. I don't get understood it. The score right now is pat negative seven to Forest one.

Our third question. After mating. Fourth question, after mating. Final hopefully. Fourth and final question, after mating, female black widow spiders ceremoniously weave the penis of their mates into their webs to ward off further male suitors.

A little trophy on the wall. Well, yeah, like in Game of Thrones when they spike the heads down the fucking, yep. Patrick, you're up. He looks, he looks. I don't even know. Are you alive or are you awake? This is a tough. This is a very tough.

Look, this is an important one because it's the final one. It's very important. That's false. That's false. I just don't, I just don't think they do that. Calories in, calories out. It's too many calories to weave the head. No.

Too much effort. Okay. All right. Interesting guess. Forrest, are you Googling, you son of a bitch? No, I thought you were Googling. I thought you were Googling. I thought that was what the delay was.

I'm not. I'm not. Googling. That would ruin the game for me. So the actual animal expert, who knows what he's talking about? Also thinks it's false for zero actual reason. I've just never heard of this. I've never heard of weaving into display penis on a web as a way to be like, hey, get out of here. There's a in my house. I'm so sorry, gentlemen, but you are correct. It's false. Oh, okay. Good job. Good set up there. Yeah, good set. Oh, but we tied. That's the problem for us. We tie. Yeah. So we're going to do one tie break.

Oh, tiebreaker. There you go. You have a tiebreaker. All right. I'll let Forrest go first and I'll take whatever is the opposite answer for us. That's not how it works. No one wants a tie. No one wants a tie.

Forrest. Yeah. We'll be answering second. Patrick, hippos naturally produce their own sunscreen. True or false? I know it's true. I was just telling Christina about this yesterday. That's what makes their skin pink.

He's right. Forrest. Right. Sorry. false. All right. All right. It's a draw. It's a draw. All right. That was the only. We had a draw. Hey, Peter, you are getting good at this. I think the listeners, Bresdeners, and viewers love this segment. That's fun. Great. I like it. But it is. It's fun.

Everybody can play along. The one that they love the most. Oh, boy. Did you just burp into the mic? I have a very deep voice. It's hard to hear. Christ Almighty. Get it out. Ouch. Forest and I were brought a TV project that we decided not to work on, but we were brought this project. It was about sort of conspiracy theories that involved animals and all sorts of crazy shit. But one of the things, and so we did some research on it, is a fascinating conspiracy theory

that birds, that many birds that you see when you're outside aren't real. that they're actually tiny drones that are spying on us. Birds or government drones. This is a real thing. Look, I swear to God, Peter, next time you take a walk in your neighborhood, you know those posters that people put on telephone polls that are like, hey, I lost my cat?

Yeah. Pay attention to them. There will be one that says pigeons are fake. I guarantee it. They're like all over L.A. So, hey, it's not a bad idea. They should start doing it if they're not. There's some scientific, sorry, there's some historical credence to it because it was actually

a proposed thing that went all the way to the president of the United States at the time. I can't remember. I think it was in the 50s. But it was to use to hide little cameras in birds to spy on people during the Cold War. And it was actually proposed. The CIA was involved. It's this whole thing. It's really interesting.

They made a proto. Did you just fart again, bro? Sorry. Okay. spin drift and vodka and it's very bubbly um but anyway so the idea is that birds are bullshit right they're not a real thing all birds are bullshit okay so i well i believe very much that birds are real and that owls are killing women um oh god here's the idea you are who you are in charge of the CIA you've just been promoted for us peter and myself we've all been promoted and we're competing

because whoever does the best at this program is going to become the guy. We're going to get the key to Area 51. We're going to get all the info. Nice. We're going to do a spying program because we want to see what everyone's doing, all the citizens in America. We want to spy on everybody. We need to know what they're doing.

Yes. If they're talking bad about Trump or Biden or whoever's president, we've got to know. Okay. We're going to, we have $50 billion of a budget. Right. To create. It's a big budget. Spy animal robots.

Love it. Love it. That are going to indiscriminately spy on anyone we wish. We can control them the way that you can fly a drone. What animals would you choose? We each get three. It's going to be a snake draft. Whoever creates the best spy force wins the snake draft.

And the birds are out. Or the pigeons are out. Pigeons are out. Birds. No birds. Can't have birds. No birds. Okay.

All right. Frizz up, you're up first. Okay. Let's give you the first thing. Go. So this means, just to clarify in a snake draft, I've never done one before I get one pick. You take one pick and then two at the end. Yes.

Okay. This is right in my wheelhouse. This is probably the easiest battle royal decision I've ever made. The second you said it, I knew what I was picking. What do you have? And I'm picking head lice. It's a very small camera. It is a very small.

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Headlights. I need they can go anywhere, thousands of, but a single like shampoo wash and that's the end of your 50 bill or at least a third of of. They can live.

They don't just live in hair mate. They can, they can live outside of hair. They can live in hair fibers on animals. They can go anywhere. They're very versatile. Listen to me. If, if I was able to actually do this, I mean, you just have no chance.

I'm sorry, whatever you're going to say, it doesn't even matter. I've taken the best, I've taken the best creature, feature, guess. Good luck. Okay. That's all I'm saying. All right. What's going on here? Well, that's, that's something.

That's something. Okay. Okay. Let's take a look at what's going on here. Lem, what happened to your leg? She dislocated a toe. Hold on. So for everybody who's not watching, Pat's cat just came into the frame.

Go to YouTube right now. Look up this episode. I got to say, when you told me, Pat was supposed to do something for the podcast and I asked him about it. And he said, it's an emergency. I'm at the vet. Can you do it? And I literally just didn't answer because I was so annoyed.

and I totally 100% thought he was lying. And then just, I literally just didn't even. What happened? So, yeah, the cat broke. I live in this four-story townhouse that's very vertical. There's stairs. She's constantly fucking 12, 13-year-old cat. I don't know how old she is.

But she jumps off the shit. She's constantly doing stuff. And she was limping really bad. And I took her to the emergency vet. and they said that one of her toes on her paw was pointing due sideways, completely broken and dislocated. So now she's trying to tear it off right now. Stop it.

Dude, you know what I love, though, about cats? I mean, she's essentially 250 in human years. And this is her first injury. Oh, it's her. The most recent vet visit was when she was six months old and she got spayed. So anyway, sorry that my cat with a yellow cast on his play just derailed. So Peter says head lice spying on all of America. Headlice.

Forest, what do you got? Spying on everyone, microphones and cameras. You really, you gave me a nice segue there because what is the most innocuous city dwelling animal? Something that you're going to see all the time. You're not going to shoe it out of the room. You're really not going to care. I mean, literally if Lemley had a spy camera on her right now, Now, we don't be fought.

So I'm going to go with your standard domestic house cat as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as number one. Like they're in every city. That's so smart. Not smart. They're everywhere, man. It's just the most innocuous creature. You're just like, as a cat. No.

To get me telling us. It's not smart. Hold on. Before I get into why it's not smart, does he have a second pick in the snake draft or is that still not how it works. This is not smart. How are you going to get these? So what are you going to breed the cats?

Are you going to create these cats and then have families take them in? Idiot. That doesn't matter. No, I'm not saying. We never discussed that. Any animal can have it in. What I'm saying, though, is that headlice, nobody has to give them permission to come into places. No adults have headlights.

Needs to be allowed. It needs to be allowed into a room. Listen to me. Headlice can fucking live in couch fibers. They can live in your asshole. You'll never even know. I'll have fucking one go. It sounds like I have to have an infestation everywhere I go.

Just need one right now. What you're saying, I'm just saying. Are you just going to relink cats with cameras out into the world? Or people have to actually take these animals in? It's not like, what are you? You're spying on alleys, dumpsters? I mean, I just don't do it. Where does shady nefarious activity take places in back alleys,

in dark corners, near dumpsters? Have you ever seen a movie? Ever, ever. Fine. Everything. Your, your, your, okay. Your methodology is to, bust low-level fucking heroin addicts in the alley.

That's fine. Launch codes. I'm not even going to know what to do with them. All right. Pat, stop Googling and give us an answer. Anyway, so only six million people per year get headlice. There are 96 million domestic cats in the United States. So anyway, good pick for us.

It's nonsense. Okay. So I am going to start out. Usually what I like to do is I like to do is I like to do. to do my job first and then I like to get weird at the end. I'm going to start with getting a bit weird. So I'm going to use bedbugs because I want to see what people are doing in the bed. I want to watch them have sex and I'm going to sell this information in this video to Pornhub.

I'm going to make a little bit of extra cache on the government teet. You know what I mean? So bedbugs to start because they're in the most, that's where you're. talk. That's where you say stuff. It's true. Like if you're if you're like, hey, I'm plotting to kill Biden, you're going to whisper it to your wife during sex. Peter feels like ripping him off right now. He's so, a little bit. I it's not even that. It's not even that. It's that. It's that that it's not the bedbug pick, even though that was my great answer from our attack insects or whatever. But the point is fucking bedbugs. I'll give you this. They're hard to get rid of. So they'll be

very difficult to get rid of. But my problem with this is that we are not fucking, we're not in this to make money. We're in this to convince the CIA to fucking promote us and be the leader of the team to have the clearance codes, everything. You're out looking for money. It's fine. Yeah.

So I'm going to make some money. I'm going to get some good porn. And then what I'm going to do is now I'm going to focus on really getting the bad guys. Yeah. Okay. Now, all right. All right. Well, all right.

I guess that's fair if you're, if you got a plan. Yeah, so I'm going to go after the bad guys. No, no. It's not your turn. How do you still not get out of this works? It's crazy. What are you talking about? I didn't say anything.

All right. So there's a lot of bad stuff going on. Talking to the mic. There's a lot of bad stuff going on with cattle ranchers. I feel like you have standoffs with the AT, like, cattle ranchers are into a lot of nefarious activity. And so what I'm going to do is I'm going to, I'm going to put cameras and inside every cow in the United States. Because there's a lot of them.

There's a lot. There's a lot. That's all I have to say. It's not that great, but that's, I will win with this. No, you, you stole my approach there. So I was going to go with a different domestic, you know what, fuck it. I'll just still go with it. I'll just still go with it. Yeah, go with it. So where, you know, where do the, where are the most inconspicuous criminals coming from? Everybody knows the answer to this. New Zealand. Why? Okay. Of course. It's no. What is every person from New Zealand do? They have

sex with sheep, right? That's where the term sheep shagger comes from. This is a known thing. It's a fact. So while all these, you know, billionaire evil geniuses are plowing sheep, they're going to get called out because I got spy sheep down there in New Zealand. And my spy sheep are not, not only are they going to catch all of this, but they're going to be able to deliver footage to me of them getting banged by a bad guy. Well, then me as the CIA can leverage against them being like, hey, I know you're evil, but you just plowed a sheep. So if you really want to launch those news, the whole world's going to know that you fucked

a sheep. Okay. So, you know, you make your decision now evil Kiwi, New Zealand guy, beastiality guy. Are you going to do this? Or is YouTube going to see you plow on a sheep? That's my number two. that's smart and that is really effective. A lot of facts being dropped in now.

A lot of bad New Zealanders, a lot of sheep shagging. You know, it did give me a new perspective on Pat's Pick, which previous I thought was terrible, but it's growing on me because bedbugs might be able to give you the evidence you need to blackmail many a high level member of society. But I mean, I thought of that. You eventually would have, but I thought of it. So you're up for two now, Peter.

That's how a snake draft. Okay. In the future, including now and always then. Uh, can you quiet down? All right. My next pick, I've thought about this a lot over the last two and a half minutes will be the common ground squirrel. That's right. They are elusive.

They fucking are versatile as fuck. Yeah. There are trees. There are squirrels. And I'll tell you this much. You ain't fucking paying a guy. damn mind to them if they're running around. You're like, ah, it's a fucking squirrel.

Right. So my squirrels will be peeping in windows. Of lice. They can also transport your army of robot lice anywhere they want to go. Oh, he already knew that. That is beautiful. Lice just kind of move on their own. They're getting moved around by your robot squirrels.

Listen, we are working together now. I feel like we'll be able to sell us as a team to the CIA. No. I've got the cows. No way. Well, you'll be kicked out because you are just trying to make money as usual. My second, my second, or my third pick, I guess, my second pick on this round is going to be a very common creature. And I feel like this is going to give me a big edge because there's a lot of aquatic machinery that's coming into the forefront.

And of course, it needs to be monitored. Nuclear submarines. You have Russia off the coast of fucking. in the Atlantic Ocean right over there. Plankton. Plankton is going to be my third and final spy bot. So I'll have lice. I'll have ground squirrels and I'll have plankton.

No, can't fit a camera in plankton. What is going to do? This is now that he's lost. What are you thinking? You're lost in life and this competition, mate. I thought you were going to go with something cool like a fucking spy dolphin or spy arc.

I wanted to go with her. herpes again. I was going to go. And then you're like, you know what? All these things happen in the ocean. Spy plankton. Like, dude, come on. What are I supposed to pick? All the krill are busy taking down battleships apparently from Pat's last other battle. It was a good one. All right. Boy, okay, where are we going with this? Where are we going with this? We got all the evil sheep shaggers. We got all the people doing back alley deals by from spy cats i'm thinking you know the uh the the one that we're missing that that's that's really hitting everybody on the nose right now spy tigers why because joe exotic's trading him tigers doc antles trading them these tigers aren't nothing good is happening with tigers

in the world right now people like if you own a tiger you're shady as fuck like if you own a tiger you're doing illegal things you just are you're not you're not a nice guy with a pet tiger. You're just not. So I got spy tigers on my team. Now. You're being traded.

Every time a spy tiger gets told. That's it. It's disappointing. That's what's up. Now, by tiger. Look, look,

we could all go with what's the most commonly distributed thing, but Forrest and I having some knowledge of how the world works are picking animals. An extinct,

a nearly extinct animal, an endangered animal? You think people aren't going to notice a fucking tiger? Where are you going to put this tiger? Nowhere in Nor? North America. In the zoo.

No. Like where all the crime gets done. Well, no. Like creepy like oil executive in Texas who has a bunch of tigers. It's like, what are you doing? Yeah. High level. Okay.

All right. You're changing a little bit. You're changing my percent. All right. All right. I'll give you that. Exotic. I got it.

I got it. Done. Mike Tyson. He has a tiger. What's he doing with it? You know? We don't know. We don't know.

We don't know. So, look, I'm going to go real basic bitch on this one. because I just, I have to. Because I want to win. I need to spy on as many people as I can. And the types of people that I want to spy on are, I want to spy on just your average Joe. So I've got my bedbugs,

which are getting me into like the real shitholes. Yep. Right. Because seeing all the sex. Getting all the pedophiles. Yeah. So I'm going to spy on them like that. I'm going to spy on the ranchers with my cattle.

And then I'm going to spy on the ranchers with my cattle. And then I'm going to spy on them. on the average Joe, middle class household, because I want to know what you're up to and what you're plotting, I'm putting it and you're just average-ass domestic dog. Yep. Because when you talk to a dog, you look them in the eyes. It's the only animals that you will grab their face and go, and I want you to go, hi, Rufus, I'm evading taxes. And so I want to have you. caught on camera looking into the camera. So I'm going dogs.

We got to wrap this up, so I'm not going to go into a diatrive about how fucking stupid that is. I'm going to make a big Italian meal. I went to a farmer's market. I got homemade lemon linguine. I got fucking homemade barata, four heirloom tomatoes, baby. I got pavonero olive oil. The guy said it's so spicy. you'll just your dick will fall off. I'm excited about this. Let's do it.

Pat, Forrest, what should everybody do to tell me that I won this? If you enjoyed any part of this podcast, or if you hated it, you can let us know either way. Either is chill. You know, let us know. Go and vote. Go to the Wild Times pod on iTunes. Leave us a five-star review. Let us know, did Peter's army of spy, lice, squirrels, and don't forget, win the battle royale this week. Is Patrick going to take over the CIA with his bedbugs, his cows, which obviously there's a lot of bad ranchers out there, or Rufus, the spy dog? Or is everybody's favorite proologist going to take down all these back alley shady dealers with the domestic cat,

all the sheep shaggers in New Zealand, and all these people trading tigers because there's a lot of them out there. We're finding this out. Netflix has proven it. Go on taking down all the high level. We're hitting it all. Go on to follow us on social media. Subscribe on YouTube, please. What about YouTube?

Yeah, how do people find us on YouTube? What do they type in? So YouTube, just search, honestly, go to Google or your search engine of choice. The Wild Times podcast, YouTube. Also, you are our actual channel. These are all on video. I don't know if we talk about this enough.

So we record all of these on video. You can see us. You can see our guests. You can see Forrest's cool artifacts. You can see the dumpster that. Peter lives in. You can see my beautiful artistic. See this guitar right here? It's worth more than your life. But the real place that everybody should go where all of the links are and always will be is the wild timespodcast.com

forward slash info. And that's where you can find the link to the YouTube. You can find the link to the Instagram, everything at Wild Times Pod on all the social media channels. Thank you guys. Follow us, check us out. But before we say good night, Peter, this is how bad you are on our social channels. People are starting to ask me where the fucking merch is. What's up with that? I know. What's going on? What are we getting shirts? It's ready. When are we getting broke? Listen, I swear to God, I promise fucking this week. I'm not going to fucking play the sympathy card. Yes, I am. The tinnitus, I had a panic attacks last week. It's ready to go. It's coming out. These guys don't do shit. They just come to the podcast report. I got to edit it. Put it.

out, but the merch is ready to go. We've approved it. These two have looked at it. They love it. It is coming out. By the way, there is a t-shirt that's going to be available. The feature is a blobfish that is legitimately, I'm like, if this isn't the most worn t-shirt in America, I'll kill myself. It's so fucking cool. I can take no credit for it. Peter designed the whole thing. It's awesome. So good. I would buy it. I walked into a store and saw it, I'd be like, I'm getting that church. Like there's no, no, Sam. And when you, I swear to God, you drop that shit. We're all getting together. We're going to put them on. We're going to sit in a room. We're going to get drunk together and do a live podcast together because this COVID shit's getting old. So we got to get back together,

do this the right way. And watch us on YouTube do it. Right, guys? Hell fucking yes. Let's do it. Love you guys. Fuck off, Peter. Good night.