Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #32 - SHOCKING Murder Hornet Update, Shark Drowns Whale, Bullfrog Kneecaps

Episode Date: November 16, 2020

Bizzare animal of the Week, Battle Royale, everything in the title AND MORE! Maybe the best episode, nay THE BEST PODCAST IN THE WORLD! You don't wanna miss it! We love you

Let's not have any edits. I am tired and I'm getting hammered tomorrow. Don't care. Fuck off. All right. Oh, we first edit. That was our end. Yeah. And we are live. It is the Wild Times. What episode is this, Peter?

32. 32 weeks. 32 straight goddamn weeks of Wild Times podcast with you fine gentlemen, which is pretty impressive because, I mean, I've been in three countries since we started this. Patrick's been all over the place, a bunch of different states. He called in from a top of a mountain one time. Um, you know, Peter, you've made it from West Hollywood Dracita. So that's something, you know. I'll say that. Let me say this. I've never done anything in the past 20 years for 32 weeks consistently where I was not being paid. But this is fucking fun. And I love it. And I say we do it until we die. I'll also point out that you've had a longer relationship with Patrick and I on the wild times than you have with your girlfriend.

That's true. I met my girlfriend yesterday. I did. I met the professor's lady friend. And? Impressions? Huh? Huh?

Better be good. Shut the fuck up. She's quite lovely. She talks a lot less than Peter, which is good. Yeah. Very attractive young woman. So, yeah, all around, solid. That's amazing.

She did not get in the hot tub with us. Mm. No. Yeah. In fact, it was a bumskiy because, Pat had turned all of the outdoor lighting off and I was like, oh yeah, you didn't even see. It looks like something out of Melrose's place.

Well, let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. Did you have the bubbles going? The jets. By then I had turned it off. Okay, because at that point, you're just in a bath with friends. You know, like there's a real fine line between jacuzzi and bath with friends.

And it is the jets. There is nothing else. Oh, God. Did I figure out a little jacuzzi hack last night? Tell us. Which was, because we had it up at, 103. Okay. Good time. We were in there and you get hot real quick. Yeah. Turned it down to a hundred. Right. And like two and a half hours later, we were just still in there drinking and telling

stories. You got to keep it a little less hot. You don't get that initial shock, but you can sit in there all fucking night. I'm wondering if that has something to do with the temperature or more to do with the booze. No, it was definitely the temperature, dude. It was fucking hot in there, dude. By the time it got out, You would not believe how much of a difference fucking three degrees makes, man. You're like boiling in there. How do you guys feel? And by the way, we still haven't introduced who we are or what the show is, but we'll get to that. True.

How do you feel about- We should? We should. How do you feel about a live video session from the hot tub next week? Like, why don't we do a show from the hot tub? Dude. Yes. A hundred thousand percent we must. I think we must.

I'm not kidding. Like just us, three pants, no pants, you know, who's checking? like sitting in a hot stuff. Jets are obviously off because it's for audio quality, so it's just a bath with friends. It's going to be the title of the podcast or whatever. The math with friends. The microphones might be tricky.

Peter, we're going to leave this to you to figure out, but I'm telling you, I want to do it. I think it's going to be a good time. I'm down. I mean, let's introduce us to ourselves. This is the Wild Times podcast. If you're joining us for the first time, this is episode 32, which means you have

32 plus hours of incredible programming to catch up on with myself, the broologist. Forrest Galante from Animal Planet's hit show Extincter Alive. Yeah. A hot guy in the middle. The brofester, Mr. Peter Fitzer, who looks like he has a palm tree grown out the top of his head. It's a good look. Credible lighting. Definitely picked up a ring light. He's not admitting it, but it's true. And the Spiceman on the hard right, who is, of course, the bro-ducer, world-class television producer. Good long. time friend, friend of the pod for sure. Patrick DeLuca, what's up, guys? Friend of the pod. Hey, buddy. Yeah. Yeah.

It is a chilly night. What are you drinking there? It won't. It's a chilly night out. It's a, it's a chilly Santa Barbara winter's night of 57 degrees. So I made an extra large double hot toddy in my Yeti mug. So I'm drinking like I'm in the snow. It's, it's a treat. Dude. So what is a hot toddy? How do you make one at home? I've had them when I'm skiing, but I don't even know what I'm drinking. It is, it's, it's, um, brandy, hot water, lemon juice and honey. Just thrown together, random amounts, real refreshing. It's warming.

It's just, it's a treat. We, we had them on a couple of the cold weather shoots. Oh, for sure. I just didn't know. Someone handed me a mug of steaming alcohol and I drank it and love it. Dude, they're a cure for a cold. Like, I had, when I was, I was filming a show up in Vancouver and I got like a little cold. and some buddies wanted to go out.

This was back before we were scared to give people things. You know. Pretty good. And my buddy was like, dude, just have a couple hot toddies. Like, it'll cure you. I literally had the hot toddies. For God, I had a cold. Yeah.

Woke up the next morning, tip-touch. I believe it. In fact, I think it's a preventative method at this point. You know, it's flu season. It's COVID season. Like, I'm just being safe, you know. Got myself a flu shot the other day. very controversial never had one in my life the doctor's like well you want to get a flu shot because

I was there for a physical and I was like I don't fucking know like I've never gotten one I've never needed one and of course I did it and then I'm like I'm getting sick and then like of course he laughed at me or he's like yeah that's that's an old wife's tale you don't get sick like that doesn't happen oh really that's an old wife's tale I thought like a certain percentage of people got sick from the flu shot that's not a real thing no that's not a real thing he literally laughed at me And he was like, no, it's not a real thing. How about it? Dude, I was talking to a couple people about this for us.

Man, I think this was like in the last couple days. Oh, because it's been a, there was some big news this week that one of the COVID vaccines had really positive results. 90% effective, right? Yep. The Pfizer. Yeah. Pfizer, right? Yeah.

So that started a discussion that, you know, certain percentage, like 50% of Americans are saying they wouldn't even get it. So somebody asked me, like, would you? get it. And I was telling them, I was like, with the travel that Forrest and I do, every country we go to, there's just a list of different things, Japanese encephalitis. I just take whatever needles they have in my mind. I don't ask any questions. I never think twice about it. Just jab me with stuff. That's fine. Yeah, 100%. And I think it would be the same for this. It's funny. I had this similar conversation this week. And I'm like, would I like to be the first rung of people to get the vaccine? No. You know, it'd be nice if there was maybe three months of people getting the vaccine before I got it.

That being said, if you're like, look, it's safe. Like, do you want to, do you want to travel or not? I'm sign me up. I'm going to get it. I'm not going to fight it. Yeah. The spokesman for Pfizer, they came out. I watched me to a little press conference or whatever.

He said that by December, they'll have 20 million units shipped to the U.S. And then 20 million every month after that. So, like, it's coming fucking fast, dude. What do you know about this? I'm going to butcher because I don't understand pharmaceuticals that well, but I know that the oil in shark livers is something used by the human body, and they use this in pharmaceuticals, including the COVID-19 vaccine, to help you metabolize it more quickly so that you basically get in your system.

So kind of controversial, you know, where are they going to get all of the shark liver oil for the COVID-19 vaccine? You know, are we going to ravage the, you know, sharks are obviously? obviously in parallel ready. I think there are synthetic ones now. I don't really know. It's not an industry I'm super familiar with. But I was reading a little bit about it. And I was like, oh, interesting, because that means they're going to need to increase shark fishing practices. Can you farm sharks? You can. There are certain. Yeah, totally. No, you could. You could certainly, there are a few fast enough growing species

of like small benthic sharks that you could farm. I don't think anybody's doing it, which is an interesting thought given, you know, given the fin trade, given the oil trade, like, Maybe that's where we make our money. I do. Yeah, because it's not going to be in TV. God knows it's not going to be in TV. TV ever, is TV never coming back or what? It's going to be in podcasting, gents.

Podcasting. Look, Forrest and I are at the fucking pinnacle of cable television. And, uh, you know, literally. Look at how excited. Look at how excited we are to just take a bath together. He's not kidding, too. Like our last shark week was the highest rated shark week of the week. which is the highest rated television week of the year,

and we're more stuff than taking a bath together. Like, it's not good. We're at the top, and it's not good. Dude, we fly coach, man. Yeah, we, I get constant DMs. I'm sure you do too, for us, of people asking about Extincter Alive season three. Like, we don't, I mean, we have thousands of fans,

but there's got to be millions of people fucking clamoring, dude. You should just be like, listen, this DM discovery, all right? Everybody. Everybody just fucking DM them. Tell me want it. That is what I can do. No, look, it's COVID has put a damper on things. And Patrick and I are starting to work on other things at this point because of how, you know, how restricted we were last year. So who knows. I mean, really hard to say what the future holds at this point, which sucks. But you are. Tough show to make in COVID. Tough show to making COVID.

Yeah. I'm sure. The Alaska Shark Week that Forrest did recently, you know, easier, right? It was For us with a small crew of underwater camera guys. One location, staying at a lodge, had the whole lodge. It's easy to create a bubble like the NBA. With Extincter alive, it's fucking impossible. So many airports, so many big cities, it's world. Yeah.

Well, but, you know, I mean. I want to ask you this before we get into the news. I got a DM from one of the Brosners. And it was just kind of made me laugh a little bit. And I was like, I kind of want to ask him. I kind of know the answer, but what he said was, is Forrest happy? Wow. Are you a happy guy?

That's a hell of a question. What was your answer? And then I'll give my opinion. I haven't responded yet. I don't respond to think. Well, what do you think? I mean, you know me pretty well. I think you're a pretty fucking joy-filled dude.

Can I chime in here? You have too many dark moments. Can I chime in here? Yeah, let's go, Peter. Yeah. I mean, out of the three of us, I'm the happiest, obviously. Pat, you're like, the great. brimest person I've ever met.

Forrest is like jovial, man. He's like fucking Santa Claus over here. Like he'll do some bullshit for like 13 hours a day. Like some nonsense. Like working like scuba diving, fishing. And then he'll come here and sit down and like, like be flustered for a minute and then just like be cool like and happy. And I'm like, dude, I would never.

I would be like, fuck you guys. I'm not doing it today. I'm out. I am. I think that I am overall a very happy guy. I'm more happy when I'm motivated by something. And COVID has certainly taken a lot of the motivation away. No Extincter Alive this year took a lot of motivation away. Like, you know, just having less super exciting prospects on the horizon that I'm not, like,

gunning towards makes me less of a happy person overall. But overall, I think I'm pretty happy. I got a pretty sweet life. I travel the world and work with wildlife and hang out with my buddies. Like, I don't have anything to be upset about. Yeah, exactly. That's true. Peter, you're fucking grim, dude.

By the way, I'm not grim. I'm the happiest fucking person in the world, though. I talk to the bro. Dude, can I, let me just read my first shout out of the day because it's relevant. I texted it to you guys earlier, and this was from Going Wild with Satchel Snow on YouTube, the latest comment on the last video, which was our live stream. I've been listening to this podcast since the first episode, and I had yet to see Peter's godlike face. Once I'm famous enough.

Quiet. Once I'm famous enough, I want to be on this show. The energy is ideal and Forrest is one of the few people doing something similar. Blah, blah, blah. No, to what I want to do. But it would be unreal to meet him and the backbone of the show, Peter. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying.

They left me out. That's what you're saying. No, no, I got one for you later. I got a DM about you. You just had to read that so that you could tell everybody that someone thinks you're the backbone of the show. That's why you had to read that. Go read the comments. All right.

So if you guys remember last week when we did the live, we said, all right, by the end, by the next week, we're going to pick a time or sorry, excuse me, a name for Will. You know, we've got the broducer, the brofessor, the broologist, and, you know, heard a lot of broie words for Will. And then I got a DM from Josh R. Mills, Mr. Gold underscore 4.0 on Instill. And he's like, how did nobody come up with Wild Time Will? And I was like, wow, that's really good. Yeah, Wild Time Will. Yeah, W.T. Willie. Yeah, why wouldn't we?

It's funny. Like, I like Wild Time Will. I was listening to the live podcast we did on Monday. And I kind of liked Willbro. Wilbrose pretty good. Yeah. Wild Time Will is good. Will, well, why don't you hop on here real quick? Let's get your feedback. on the name right quick since you're, since you're, I mean, I think he's hammered and fell asleep.

I'm not sure. Also, Will appeared to be drinking Mountain Dew and vodka. Oh, Will, Will, bro. What do you think? Will we going Wild Time Will or Will bro? What do you like? I'm a bigger fan of Wild Time Will. I used to play AAU basketball and had a coach that called me Wild Bill when I was a kid all the time.

Ooh. I like Wild Bill's a while time. It feels right. It has a little nostalgia factor to it. I like it. Nice. It's in. It's done.

We're locked. You're wild time, Will. Definitely going to call you W.T. Willie for short. W.T. Willie. It's the at symbol. Yeah, there you go.

So, so, solid. So thanks, Will. Love it, dude. Love it. Wild time,

Will, with his, he's drinking sunny delight and grain alcohol. He's also muted. He's muted. He's muted. He's muted.

He's changing his thing right now. God. W. Um, juice right now. No joke. What is it? It's like sugar-free mango juice and tequila right now. I'm trying to go sugar-free right now for the time. Sounds delicious.

Hey, respect. I respect that. We all eat too much sugar. That's real. I was hard on whiskey and Coke train for a long time. The kind that Oregon just made legal in bathroom or the kind that you drink. That's true. So for us,

I know we've got lots of wild times type of shit, some wildlife and adventure stories that are fresh off the press this week. But real quick, before we get into that, I have a personal thing I want to ask you. Shoot. So I talked on one of the earlier podcasts about my stepfather, who's in his 70s, who's just obsessed with trapping and relocating these squirrels in South Carolina. So he's relocated 44 squirrels to this island.

and he started, as I mentioned, he started putting a red dot with non-toxic paint on them. Great. I'm sure they're scratching the shit out of them, by the way. He's fucking nuts with this stuff. But he called me today, and he literally was like, can you ask Forrest a question for me? Shoot. So he said the yard is overrun with squirrels at this point. Okay.

Not a lot of the red dots, but just fresh squirrels. Sure. completely avoiding the trap now. Oh. He can't trap one. I believe it. Right? So his method was incredibly successful.

He trapped 44 squirrels using peanut butter. Yep. Now he can't trap any squirrels. And he's like, did they learn? Like, did they talk? Like, what's going on? Because they're like rodents. Their brain's the size of an acorn.

It is. But my guess would be they figured it out. You know, it's the same thing with lab mice, right? we can teach them to run through mazes. We can teach them which piece of cheese to eat and which piece will zap you and electrocue you. And I'm guessing either a group of squirrels saw one squirrel go in there and get trapped or one of them that escaped with the red dot came back.

It was like, listen, fuckers, don't go in that thing. Let's you feel like a long jog tomorrow. I do not recommend it. Yeah, no, I bet that is a learned behavior. So my suggestion to your stepdad is move the trap, change up the look. like put some leaves on it or go get some like a shade cloth or gilly cloth and put it on try a new bait just kind of move it a little bit because they are still simple animals so if you if you go for a little bit of a change it's probably going to be effective again and in the time that you change it by the time they figure that out you could probably go back to method one love it oh perfect now I have an idea for Christmas for him I'm just going to send him a bunch of gilly cloth

There you go. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. I like that a lot. So I got, man, there's some interesting stuff going on. I had a guy, have you guys, you guys followed Joe Rogan on Instagram, right? Never heard of him. Who's that?

Thanks, Peter. Sure do, mate. Have you seen him every now and then he posts like Instagram stories of people getting tattoos of his face? Yeah. Yeah. A lot of them. Like a lot. So I had the first person, I think they were joking.

I know not. whether this is real or not, reach out to me and tell me they were getting a tattoo of me. And then I asked them for a picture because I was like, yes, I have to see this. And I got no response. I got a red receipt and no response. So I think I called their bluff. Who does that, by the way? What the fuck?

I don't fucking know. I also told them that I'd get a tattoo of them if they got a tattoo of me. So I'm really hoping they don't get one. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Should we make a pact that if we get up to a million downloads on any podcast, we all get tattoos of each other's faces on our ass. Just a real little one episode.

I do it. Tiny. I'm not risking it. I'll do it. You'll do it. Oh, dude. A million? He'll make it to a million.

Bro, it could happen. I got fucking faith in this thing. This thing has fucking legs, man. That's going to happen. And I'm not agreeing to it. All right. So this person didn't get Forrest Galante's face tattoo. So this sent me down in Rabbit Hall and I was texting with our boy, W.T.

Willie. And Will, uh, will, can you pull up that, uh, that real treat of a tattoo that you texted me that you're like, hey, why don't you just get this instead? You guys got to see this and see what you think about it. Yeah. Oh, WT.

Willie. I like it. I love it. So, yeah, first person to get this tattoo gets a kiss right on the mouth from Mr. Peter Fitzer. Okay. Okay. Oh, my God. It's so good.

It's frog meat. So, oh, dude, it is. This is unbelievable. So since about six times as many people listen as watch on YouTube, for those who are listening, Peter will post this on the Wild Times. What's our, what's our Instagram, Peter? Oh, my God, 32 episodes. Just say it, you fucking idiot.

All right, at Wild Times Pod. Okay, we'll post it at at Wild Times Pod. For us, describe what you're seeing. Yeah, so somebody, and well, congratulations for fun. this man. It is a gem of tattoos. Somebody went out there and got a pair of bullfrogs, one on each knee, both super deranged looking with different expressions. And the reason they're on each knee is as they decide to flex their quad and their kneecap hops up and down, it looks like the bullfrogs are ribbiting. And it's honestly the best worst tattoo I have ever seen in my life. It's unbelievable.

It's fantastic. Yeah. It is fantastic. Whoever got this to the, These bullfrogs tattooed from, let's say, three inches below the knee to about three inches above the knee. So they're about, these are like eight, nine inch tall fat bullfrogs. Oh, yeah. I guarantee this person is hilarious. Oh, yeah. Dude. By the way, like, got to be painful to get a tattoo like that around the outer edge of your kneecap, dude.

What a nightmare. I'm going to guess this person has no other tattoos on their body either. So it's just, you see this guy in shorts at the beach and you're like, what? Is he got mud on his knees? And then as you get closer, you're like, it's bullfrogs. They're just croaking frogs on his kneecaps. Like, what a treat. Now, hold on.

Dude, yeah, this guy's a genius, man. He could just post stuff at a bar and everyone's going to be like, just pulling people over to him. Like, day, do the thing, do the thing. Do the knee thing, man. It's incredible. Let's do a little thing here. Let's do a profile on this person. First of all, do you think he's married?

No. Do you think this guy's married? No. This is a straight single hipster. And I know he's a hit, clear because he's wearing very, very tight yellow jorts. Rolled up. Yeah, mustard. Yeah.

I love how this video, the way that it loops, it's just like it never, it's, they keep making the movement. Let's continue with his profile, though. Looks like, okay. So not married. More dumpster as well. It seems, appears me an inside dumpster. Yeah, he's filming in front of a dumpster. Very too.

Stuff of that. Yeah, he is. Okay, so he's filming in front of a dumpster. He's gotten these tattoos. He's wearing very strange shorts. We don't think he's married. We think it gets a lot of random ass. So he's doing well in the lady department.

What's his job? What does he do for a living? Well, he lives. Okay, so there's a bunch of foliage on the ground, some leaves that have fallen that are multiple colors. So I'm going to say that he lives in Bend, Oregon. Here's why. Smart.

There's lots of very colorful trees there during this time of year and a lot of hipsters who would be prone to wearing mustard colored jorts. So he lives in Bend, Oregon, and I think he owns a company that makes craft mead, which is alcohol that's made out of honey. And there's, he clearly cycles to work because his calves are wider than his quads, if you look at these legs. That's true. Yeah. His calves are he takes a bike to work. Yeah. he bikes to work every day. Zero question in probably very short, short, so the people can see his

frogs riveting. Yeah, exactly. Dude, it's a shame that we don't have like a great reveal. Well, see if you can find this guy's Instagram. Let's get this guy in the pod, dude. Oh my God. I'm interested in this. Dude, legit, let's get him on the pod to validate what we just said. I love it. All right. Before, there's some shark talk. We got lots of stuff coming up. But before we do that, I just want to give a shout out to the Brosner's. You guys are clearly telling friends. It's great.

We get to see the metrics and the numbers. They're just absolutely blowing up. Thank you guys for all of your support. Thanks to everyone who's ordered merch, which is super cool, sending us photos. But I did want to point out, as I looked at our metrics for downloads on iTunes, our audience, while overwhelmingly male, we do have almost 7% of our audience are female brosners.

I just want to give a shout out to the female brosters. Yeah, that's huge. They're great, dude. They do a lot of the commenting on Instagram, man. Fucking, I love it. They're, I forget there was one time where we were discussing, I think right when we were discussing what we were going to call them and we were saying like, brokners and somebody was like,

but what about the women? And I swear to God, like, at least five of them were like, fuck that. We love the day. Like, we want to be called listeners. Yeah. Good. Love that. Good people.

Good people. And so, Forrest, I thought this, this came across my desk very aggressively. It was slammed. A guy from UPS came in and slammed an envelope down on my desk. And it had a dossier. It had a dossier inside and I read it. And I thought, Forrest, you're going to be interested in this. So a white shark, commonly known as the Great White Shark, was recently filmed hunting and killing a 33-foot-long humpback whale in what scientists had deemed a strategic kill.

So the white shark was filmed biting the whale's tail fin numerous times, taking big chunks out of the tail fin, and then drowning it. Wow. So even though the event did take place in July, the footage just. sort of started leaking out and getting around the internet. Wow. I couldn't believe this. I mean, that's like some intelligent behavior. Yeah, that's amazing.

And not typical, right? Doesn't happen normally, right? No, certainly not. I mean, what you will have occasionally is like a group of white sharks in a in a hot spot, like somewhere where sharks, you know, white sharks congregate like Seal Island, taking on a single large piece of prey. But you're saying this is one shark that did this, Patrick? A single white shark, yep.

Yeah. See, that's, that's bonkers. I mean, that's, And we were talking about learned behavior earlier with, you know, Patrick's squirrels. And I don't, you know, look, look, there's a lot of things about the ocean we don't know. We've never seen a great white shark give birth. We've never seen the mate. There's a lot of things we don't know about these incredible apex predators.

Maybe they're doing this on a regular basis. And this is the first time it's ever been captured on film. I tend to doubt it. You know, we've seen them eat seals time and time again and sea lions. So I think that this is perhaps a learned behavior. behavior. Orcas, not to digress too much, but certain orca pods, you know, in New Zealand, the orcas, a group of orcas will only eat stingrays. In Norway, they'll only eat fish. In the North Pacific, they'll only eat seals and sea lions. Like, there's certain orcas

that choose which dietary adaptions to have, and I might have butchered which ones are where, but the point is there are these groups of pods that decide, like, we're only going to eat this, you know, and those are social creatures that hang out in a group, like a pack of wool, this shark however white sharks are solitary animals what's to say they don't have dietary preferences like what's to say that this guy that took on this 33 foot humpback isn't just an absolute alpha beast of white sharks and it's like i'm not fucking with herring and sea lions like i know i can take down a 33 foot whale and i will um you know that's the thing it's like we don't give these animals enough credit for the ability to make decisions like that and honestly

like if you're asking me would i rather encounter a white shark that eats sea lions or the one that eats 33-foot humpbacks, give me the sea lion eating shark any day of the week. Like, that's fucking terrifying. Yeah. Right. So, Will, go ahead and pull up the footage so Forest can take a look at it. And for those who are listening or checking it out on YouTube can actually see it.

Unbelievable, though. Oh, drone capture. Wow. Or helicopter. Yeah. Dude. Looks like National Geographic, maybe they were filming for. Shark Fest.

Their answer to Shark Week. that nobody's ever watching. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, now they're going to watch that. I didn't even know they did that. Promoting the competition. Whatever.

So really what you see, yeah, since the drone that's quite a bit above the humpback, obviously you get to see the size and scale of the humpback, which... Big whale. Are you... Is that looking like it's injured there up at the surface for us? No. And the sharks go on bonkers.

You can see the shark thrashing. I don't see anything, you know, out of the ordinary with that whale. Not yet anyway. It's pretty small on the screen currently. You can click the little plus sign and make it bigger for you guys. I can or will can. You can on your screen. Everybody.

Oh, yeah, there's some stuff trailing off and see that. I can have the money. Okay, and there's the white chart. Look at that fucking animal, man. Oh, there's. There it is. Wow. Fighting the tail.

It's almost like it's trying to sever the tail. And I'm sorry, I don't care who you are or what you believe. It's the same as why a cheetah goes for a gazelle's neck, right? Because that is the weak point. That is how you take the animal down. And that's what this shark has figured that out, right? He's not attacking the tail because it's the narrowest point or because it's the closest to him.

He's attacking that joint right before the tail so that he can slow it down. You know, I do see there's blood coming out of that, but that is still a choice that the shark is making. He is attacking to sever that tail so that he can eat as much as he'd like. Now, do you think the shark is like, I know that my tail is key for my movement. So if I, but like, do you think it's like an A to B to C thought process? Like, I know that I need this thing.

Let me attack this thing on the real tasty looking treat there. I don't, but I don't know that answer. You know, I would say if it was a more, if it was a known more intelligent animal like a dolphin, I think they'd put those things together. I think with the shark, it's more instinctual. It's like, look at the animal, look for the weak point attack. You know, I think it's just like, it's, it's almost. there isn't a cognitive linear thought progression.

It's more just like instant kicks in. That's the weak point. That's where I need to attack. So look, in big cats, for example, they often go for the neck, correct? On a couple of videos that I've seen of mountain line attacks on humans, when they come in to attack a human, typically they'll come in, slow down towards the as they get close to the human, and then stand up on both legs and even go for the human's neck. even though we're not typically it's food. Yep. I mean, is that instinctual or is that something that they learn from watching their mothers?

What would you guess? There's so much of that nature, nurture argument that, you know, some scientists say it's totally learned. Others say it's totally instinct. I mean, you know, we've seen what we, the most real answer is that it's both, right? Certain traits are learned. Certain traits are instinctual. if you put a mountain lion in a room with, let's say, a wild boar, and it's never met that wild boar before,

it's never seen a wild boar before. It's going to figure out how to kill it, right? And I have a feeling if it does it once and it figures out the jugular is how you do it. It's going to do that again every single time. I think that if your cubs raised by a mother and you see mom doing it, you skip that step of kind of figuring it out for yourself and go straight to going it. So it's instinct in the sense of you will figure it out because your instinct is to kill. Your instinct is to go for, you know, the vital organs, the places that knock it out.

But I think the learned behavior helps progress that step so much more, so much more quickly. Let me ask you a question so quick. So with this shark, right, I mean, Pat was just talking about these squirrels and his stepdad and they've learned, you know, to not go for the peanut butter anymore. Now, what happens? what happens with this shark? Is it going to continue this behavior? And then what if other sharks see it doing it? Are they going to learn it?

And this is going to be like a new thing? Is that possible? Is that ridiculous? No, no. I don't think it's ridiculous at all. I think it's very, very possible. I mean, all evolution is, right, not to get too grandiose, but all evolution is change derived through necessity, right?

Meaning we have to change, so we will. and when we make that change, that's evolution. So the three of us, you know, I'm trying to think of a good example. You put, you know, a bunch of ants in a room and there's two things that are edible, one that they prefer. Over time, that one thing that's edible that they prefer disappears, they learn to eat the second thing, right? That's necessity.

They have to progress. Sure. The seas are getting emptied, man. That's a, you know, not to be a bummer, not to be a downer, but that's a real thing. Like overfishing is a big thing. plastics are a big thing. Animals have to adapt to survive. And if part of that adaption is sharks are going to start eating whales all the time or,

you know, changing their diet. Now, this is obviously an interesting case. You can see that whale has some fishing net or some line or something around its tail. It's probably already a little slowed down. I could see a little bit of it. I don't know the story. But it's an interesting case. But what's to say that isn't the catalyst for change?

Sure. I was going to ask, and we can switch. which after this, but like, what, I've always wondered, why don't sharks feast on whales more typically, right? It's not, humpbacks aren't typically,

uh, prey for sharks, right? Correct. No, they're, why don't they fucking just eat whales all the time? The whales can't do shit to defend themselves.

That's a good question. And I mean, I don't think that we know for sure that they don't. I've seen them even out here at Santa Rose Island. I've seen white sharks chewing on a dead whale, but they're not the ones killing the whale. Um, you know,

they're scavenging on it. Go ahead. Do humpback whales, I mean, do they travel in pods or are they solo? Both. Both. Sometimes you can find a pod. Sometimes they're by themselves. I mean, maybe it's just a matter of the fact.

I mean, they're smart. Like if one was a, a shark was attacking one, like another one would probably come and protect it or something, you know? Well, I also think it's similar to that analogy that I gave. I can't remember we were talking about crocodiles at one point. But like, if you've only ever eaten a ham sandwich in your life, right? and then all of a sudden you had a 40 foot long ham sandwich cruising down the road. You probably wouldn't just go start chewing on it.

You'd be like, what the fuck? Look at that ham sandwich, right? Even though it's food, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to go start chewing on it straight away. And I think, you know, there's a risk-reward thing for sharks. You know, there's certainly other variables at play. But just because they can eat it doesn't mean that it's going to be their preferred meal. It doesn't maybe the risk is too great versus the reward when seline. are super abundant. I don't really know. I mean, I don't think anybody understands the exact

reasoning, but it's interesting nonetheless. Mm-hmm. Definitely. All right. Well, hey, Forrest, let me give you a chance here, since Will put together this massive document. What really came across your desk in the most egregious way this week? Man, there was, God, there were a couple fun things. So I think one of the, do we talk about the wolf for interest? No, we didn't talk about the wolves in Colorado last week. did we? I think I've been talking about. We did talk about that? Okay, because that was, that's pretty cool. I'll tell you one thing that I, that I read about that I was absolutely

blown away by. And I think it really goes to show, we always think we know everything. We sure as hell don't. Platypus. You guys familiar with the animal, little duck-built platypus, super weird, little Australian monotream, egg-laying mammal. Glow, bright blue and green when shown under a UV slash blacklight. They had biofluorescence, and we didn't know this. You know, we've had them in captivity. They're in zoos. The first time I ever saw one was in the Sydney Aquarium.

Like, they're all over the fucking place. They're all over the world in zoos and private collections, everything else. We didn't know that you put them under a black light and they glow blue and green. You know, we just learned that this week. What is the bioluminescence? Is it something in their skin? I don't know. I need to look into it more, to be honest.

My guess would be it's some kind of an algae growing on their fur that's actually creating the light. And the reason I guess that is that's what they figured out with certain sea turtles that they're like, hey, it turns out sea turtles glow. But it's, I don't know the reason behind it. I don't even know if it's been published why it is yet. There's just been a few pictures floating around. But how crazy is that to think that these animals that we've had? And also, how is no Australian fratbro had one like in a tank in his back room,

turned on the black lights for a black light party and been like, bro? Or good eye, my. Am I tripping or is that fucking planet a person blowing? Look at that, look at that bloody guy over there, would you? Would you just? I want 100% of the brosters to immediately go to Amazon.com, get a black light and just start shining it on every animal. It's important. Let's make some science here, people.

Let's do this. The pictures when you make a discovery. And please don't slather your fucking cat in. like mercury so that they'll blow. Like, just don't. We're asking you not to do that. Yeah. Go ahead.

I was going to say, dude, this fucking, I don't want to fucking, we've talked a lot of murder hornets, but. Oh, yeah. This piece of news is bananas. Yeah. So I think it was maybe podcast 28 or 29. We talked about how researchers found a murder hornet nest in the U.S. And it was like a big deal because, holy shit, they're coming.

They destroyed the nest. A little slow drip of some more news. The nest, forest in a bees in a bees nest. How many queens are there typically for nest? One queen per nest. Oh, so would you be surprised at all if I told you there were 200 queen bees in the murder hornet nest? 200 queens in the murder hornet nest, meaning each one of those would scatter out and create

their own hive. Yeah. And the one they found, too. Like the one they found. That's how does that happen? I don't know. What's going on? A human created this like super nest or something.

Yeah, that's, how do you get 200 queens? That's crazy. Yeah, I don't know how that works because, you know, in a beehive, the queen is kind of dominant and lays all the offspring. Sometimes you can have young queens and then they venture out, blah, blah, blah, but not five, let alone 200, you know, like that's, that's wild. Yeah, that is. These things are fucking big, too, aren't, are they not?

Oh, yeah. No, they're huge. Huge. And I think what's terrifying is the fact that each of those 200 would go out and create their own colonies, right? So, I mean, how do you slow that down? How do you stop? Like, thank God they found that nest when they did, right? Because, right. Yeah. So what happened was they, the State Department of Agriculture employees, they vacuumed out all the bees from the nest. Well, they thought most of the bees. And it was all just worker bees. So then later, now that they thought it was safe, they cracked open the nest and found seven. 76 live queens that were somehow immune to their vacuuming device, and then well over a hundred dead queens that had died from whatever process they used to vacuum it out. That's wild. That's fucking crazy, man. And this is a three inch bee, dude. Like, picture a three inch bee.

So just look down at your dick. If it's not erect, that's how long these bees are. Dude, by the way, how big are these fucking nests? Because they have 200 of those in one nest? Yeah. I mean, it's got to be fucking huge. You're talking about many, many fucking feet, like 100 feet. How are you going to squeeze 200?

I don't know. Three inch long bees in there plus all the workers. That's crazy. What the fuck is going on in 2020, man? We are fucked. Yeah. We're fucked. Yeah.

Are these bees going to take over like the world as the new alpha species? I'm concerned, man. Or drunk, one of the two. Yeah, no, but I understand your concern, you know, good for you. Wow, that's wild. Guys, yeah. Go ahead. No, go ahead, Will.

I got a question that came in recently. Actually, while we were on air, I got DM this by E19 MMM, and it has to do with the wolf, the wolf stuff we were talking about. He says, what's up, fellas, question for the group. Last week's episode mentioned the cascade effect as it relates to, to wolves and deer. And I was wondering if the wildlife expert, that would be not you, Pat, Forrest, had any thoughts on the similarities on that example and the human population currently? Food resources being stretched with the growing population is that hindering humans' evolution

by maintaining meager individuals like pet? Thank you. Wow. Okay. That's, there's a lot to take in there. Yeah. It's a legit question. No, it's a good question. The short answer is yes, right? And if you're like an avid, like humanitarian people lover, like maybe tune out, maybe put your, put your head, you know, put your little earmuffs on. Because we have created weaker people, right? And what I mean by that is modern medicine, all these vaccines, you know, saving people

that are born with deformities or abnormalities or anything like that that would typically lead you to getting picked off in the wild, we have generally overcome due to our intellect, right? We've created remedies, like we fix people that are broken, et cetera, et cetera. And so we've created weaker people. Now, we've created more and more people in general, which makes us as a species stronger and more dominant, but on an individual level, we're definitely weaker. You know, if one out of every, or let's say if, you know, only one out of every 10 people survived because of plagues and viruses and deformities and the list goes on and on, that one out of 10 would be a hell of a lot stronger than the other nine, and that person would reproduce

with the other one out of 10 that's stronger than the other nine, right? And they would create basically a super baby and so on and so forth. And I have to imagine this is basically how Michael Phelps was born and, you know, everybody else like them is like two super humans basically got together. You had like insane sperm and insane eggs and you got a fucking Michael Phelps out of it. And you're like, oh, okay, I get it. Like, this is what the whole global population could be if there were only, you know, 250,000 people instead of eight and a half billion or whatever the fuck we're up to. So, yeah, as we get more and more, as we overcome more and more, we don't change the evolution

of people. We naturally select for weaker individuals of the species. Wow. Yeah. Go ahead. Oh, I was going to completely change the subject, but sort of speaking of the weaker of people, I want to throw this out to you guys because, so Peter came over to my new place last night. In the living room, there's this loft, which you have to climb a ladder to get up to.

Cool. And when you get up there, you're about probably like 11 feet off the ground. Maybe like 11, it might even be more. It's pretty high. That's cool. And there's no guardrail when you're up there. and so kind of coming down the ladder, it's a fucking, it's a legit letter. Forrest and I talked about a shitting ourselves in the ladder in the cave in Vietnam.

It's like that. But I was like, man, like, when I first like, you know, when I first came and did the walk through, whatever, I was like, yeah, I'm going to set this up, going to make this a cool area to, like, come up, put it like a mini fridge up here, put some pillows on the ground in the loft. That's cool. And then once I actually went up there a couple times, I was like, someone's going to fall off this fucking ladder and really hurt themselves severely. So I started thinking about it.

So I looked it up. I wanted to see how many people get hurt every year in ladder-related injuries. So don't look it up. This is an article by the CDC. It's on cdc.gov. So I'm believing that these are accurate stats. In the U.S. alone, how many people seek medical treatment each year due to ladder-related injuries, would you guess?

4,000 people. Peter Richards. I'm going to I'm going to say 100,000 people. Wow, I thought I was going to high. 500,000. Holy shit.

It's 500,000 I knew. Just in the U.S. That's bigger than the city I live in. Dude, like there's videos all over YouTube of people fucking like falling off of ladders, like old, like it's a fucking, there's a

famous viral video of a guy demonstrating a ladder like on QVC. It's great. It's hilarious. And he falls off the fucking ladder. And dude, like, that's going to happen. The odds of that happening, it's got to be a high number. Yeah, 500,000 600 deaths each year just in the U.S.

But get this. Just get this. I want you to hear this. That means that one out of every eight Brosner's in their lifetime will seek medical treatment for a ladder-related injury. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's nuts. That is nuts. I mean, we just blind ladders willy-nilly all the time. All the time. Setting a Christmas decorations. Everything. Fucking, oh, I'm going to just change this light bulb. I'm going to climb a ladder.

You might be going to the hospital. I have had people just hold the ladder. Like, you know, it's a single rung ladder instead of having a two. Yeah. Yeah. Like, just hold it. Like, I'll be fine. I'll climb up and nail something. And you just hold it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's put a foot on it. Half the person. holding it, texting. It's even more crazy to think that every person is going to know at least one person that has a ladder fall in their life.

Guarantee. No, because if you have a letter fall and you break your femur, you're lying about how you got hurt. Right. Very true. The real number is probably in the billions, dude. Yeah, you're not going to be like, yeah, my wife wanted me to clean the leaves out of the gutter. and that's why I'm crippled now.

It's a motorcycle accident. It's always a motorcycle accident. The burglar came in with a bat. I fought him off, but dude, he got me. Yeah. It was one blow, but, you should see the other guy. Man.

So, Forrest, maybe next time when you're like scaling a fucking tree and I'm like, Forrest, please don't do that. You'll think about this ladder stat. Maybe I will. When we're in the middle of the jungle. Yeah. That's true. Yeah, Patrick.

There's a lot of times Patrick's under his breath, is going, don't fucking do that. And yeah, usually I'm halfway up whatever thing I'm not supposed to be climbing by that point. Yeah, no amygdala. One of the shirts we've made for all of you out there with no amygdala who will recklessly climb ladders, all 10 million of you, we know there's more than,

what, 500,000? Go get a no amygdala shirt and don't fall off a fucking ladder. So there are a couple other news stories that I want to, we can hit them, you know, we're going to leisurely pace tonight. Everybody's drinking, we're having a good time. But I got. I got a text from Chris Gunnells, Easy underscore Gunnels. Sorry, not a text, Instagram message.

And he's like, sent to Pat and Retap already. Obviously, you're the least likely to see this. But still, best odds if I hit all three. Here it goes. Hey, man, huge fan and consistent Brousner. Can you please bring these questions to the podcast because they're causing a huge riff in my friend group. Love that this is what you and your friends are fighting.

Oh, this is good. Yeah, dude. I'm ready to dig in for hours on this. Good, good, because we're going to. This is great, by the way. And people send us these. These are a treat. So Chris's first questions.

All three of us every time. And keep in mind, his friend group, they're clawing at each other over the answers to this. So he says, huge riff. Who would win in a fight? Number one, Cheetah versus Komodo Dragon. There's more. Let's just dig in one at a time here. Okay.

I have an easy answer to this. Please. Cheetah. Why? Because I think the cheetah is so much more nimble. If you picture a Komodo dragon, right, in the way that its legs are set, obviously they can use the tail to whip things. They have the bacteria so they can bite the cheetah. But I think cheetah is when I watch a cat, in fact, I found a huge cricket inside my house earlier today.

And I just brought my cat over to it. I have some fun. They're so goddamn nimble, man. Like, I just think the Cheetah is so nimble that it would find a way to just bite it to death. That's fair. Peter? I got to agree.

I got to agree 100%. The second you said it, I was like, Cheetah, dude, they're so, they're hunters. That's what they do. Like, you know, the Komoto Dragon is kind of just milling around and eating when it has to. A cheetah is literally like hunting for fun

and it runs 50 miles an hour. Like, it's not even a question in my mind immediately. That's what I think. So first of all, there's no basis behind any of this. These are all guests. Guesses. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

I'm going to take the flip side of that. I think the Komoto Dragon wins. I do. I do. I'm telling you. Here's the thing. You're looking at, you're looking at fucking Mike Tyson, right? The Komoto Dragon versus fucking Mani.

Conor McGillow. Right? Like, Mani Pachial is going to jump around. He's going to throw these little punches like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Mike Tyson is going to, I'm talking in their prime. I'm not talking like chubby, like slow Mike Tyson. We'd smoke. Yeah. Let him finish. I see where you're going with this. No, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One punch from Tyson. Donzo. Say good night. And that's the thing about what he does. No, they are incredibly nimble. They're incredibly agile. They're incredibly quick. And I agree with all those fantastic points. They're going to get in a lot of blows. And they're They're going to do a lot of damage to this to this Komoto dragon. But they are such skinny. They're made for speed. They are not made for combat.

When this Komoto dragon gets one tail whip, one bite, that thing is broken. He will snap both the legs of the Cheetah. He will snap the foot, the neck, whatever that Komoto dragon latches onto or even tail strikes or cheetah's done. That's the end of it. I don't think we just helped Chris at all. because here's what we did. The most qualified person said Cheetah,

but he's outnumbered by two morons who said Komoto Dragon. Which equals a tie. No, other way around. It's a fucking tie. It is. Other way around. But hold on, though. Real quick.

How would the Cheetah attack the Komoto Dragon? I think it's an important note to hit on. Like, would it go straight for the jugular? Like you said, they're not, they're doing this based on speed. I've flipped my answer to Komoto Dragon. Yeah? Because it would. I think it would go for the neck.

I also think that Cheetah are used to hunting things that can't bite them very hard, like a gazelle. And I think it's going to try in that same way to go for the neck. All the Komodo needs to do is get a little surface scratch. Oh, yeah. And the Cheetah's going to fucking die

slowly of this bacterial. I think I actually have been converted myself because I'm unanimous. Yeah. The Cheetah's, the Komoto dragon is not going to like even feel the pain with the adrenaline of like what would typically be like a large cat with its back claws like like just like you know what they do with their back like that's not even a phase this fucking leather skin now lizard it's not it's not you're right

and by the way like reptiles like you could cut half that thing's body off and it would still be trying to eat and crawl around whereas a mammal you know like you you get a bad thorn into it and it's like uh i'm not feeling so good like reptiles are just their hangs yeah if i just to my cat if I just go really loud like that, she just lays down. What? What I do? Yeah, it is, it's absolutely, dude, it's unanimous. Let's continue.

All right. There are two more. There are two more fun. Good message, Chris. Good message, yeah. All right. Silverback gorilla versus polar bear. Holy shit.

Yeah. I mean, the environment is important here. It's where they're fighting. No, no. Taking that out of this way. It's got to be neutral. We're just talking raw. On Mars.

on Mars. You're on Mars. Sure. Holy shit. It's a hell of a hard one. I've been thinking about it since I read it. I was going to say, do you have a clear answer for us, or is this a tough one? No, I got to talk through it. That's why I wanted to bring it up tonight.

Because it's, it's, I mean, you're talking about, in my opinion, the two most badass creatures on the planet. Like, I don't think there's anything stronger, more dominant than a silverback gorilla. And I don't think there's anything more ferocious than a giant polar bear. I mean, it's, it's insane. Dude, yeah. I mean, we saw those polar bears trying to get into that fucking truck last week or the week before. I mean, they are fucking ferocious.

They are dedicated, persistent. Let's assume these are two males, okay? The scales have been tipped literally for me because a male polar bear, a typical weight would be around 950 pounds versus a male silverback gorilla. We're looking at about 350 pounds. Yeah. So as scary as a fucking gorilla is, the polar bear is just so much fucking bigger. But the strength ratio, that's the thing. You're right, Patrick, and I saw that.

But the strength ratio, the gorilla is so much stronger than the polar bear. You know, the polar bears are strong. But all that is wrong. But the strength ratio of the gorilla, it's not like fighting a 300-pound guy. You know what I mean? Like you stack up with a 300-pound guy and it's like, yeah, okay, he's super strong. A 300-pound gorilla, I mean, it could probably, and I don't know this, but it could probably grab the polar bear arm from arm and rip it into if it got that.

Let me throw this at you. Let me throw this piece of information at you. So I have a heavy bag in my garage, right? I wail on it. You talk about your fiance that way. But when I use my heavy bag, right, I'm always punching as if I'm fighting, punching, kicking someone who's my height, right? as a meager 5-foot-10 man.

If I was... Average size, yeah. Right. Now, what may be interesting for you to learn is that a silverback gorilla, their average height is between 5 and about 5 foot 10. A polar bear standing on two legs. It's like 12. It's got to be 12 feet.

10 feet. Yeah. It's huge. Huge. Massive. I think about that sometimes when I'm working on my bag where I'm like, what are you going to do if you're fighting a guy who's 6 foot 6, you're going to be punching them in the chest.

Right. So you lost. A hundred percent. Let's just, okay, let's visualize these two animals actually like starting this fight. What's going to happen? They run at each other. They're both going to stand up. Right.

Well, let's ask for us because he actually knows versus our bullshit. They're both going to start all quadrupeds, right? They're both going to be four legs. They're going to come to face off. Polar bear is going to rear up, you know, that way it's got its front claws to use. it's got its teeth to use. Gorilla's going to do those claws too. Big advantage of those fucking claws.

Wolverine, you know? I want to know what they're going to do. I want to pick sure. Gorilla's going to rear up. You're going to thump his chest to go for dominance. And then they're literally just going to be these clash of the Titans. Now you're right. One's going to stand six feet.

The other's going to stand 10 feet. Right. One's going to outweigh the other big time. Like the gorilla. You're talking more than half. More than double. Yeah. More than double the way.

The polar bear is going to tower over this gorilla. But again, And this is the only thing that's keeping me in this fight for the gorilla is the strength differential. And I don't think people quite understand. I'd have to look up like the amount of strength a gorilla is over a human being. But again, I feel like if this gorilla could, and I don't think it could. But if it could get the polar bear limb from limb, it could literally rip it, you know, and maybe not like split it in half, but disjoint it like literally.

Even if it would shred it. Even if you could grab a fucking leg, dude, and break a leg. I mean, if it could gimp the polar bear, it would win. cause it will rip its face in half. Like, I mean, they are, and they will. They're vicious. And they're vicious and fuck. And they're clever.

Don't forget the, the mentality difference, right? Bears are super instinctual. Like, they're clever animals for sure, but not like guerrillas. I mean, guerrillas, there's strategy when a gorilla's fighting. There is no strategy when a bear is fighting. Like, it's, it's great, man. It's a tough one. All right.

Final answer, everybody. Will, just so we know, Wild Times, Willie has said on the chat, polar bears have clause, they win. Okay. W.T. Willie's final answer is Polar Bear. So whoever chose Polar Bear among Chris's friends, you at least have the producer, Will. I'm going to go, because of what Forrest just said, and it made me think about when I

delivered kegs for a living when I was 19, there was a guy who was much smaller than me, much older. His name was washer. Okay. Because he had a green Mustang that he washed every single day outside the warehouse. What a life. Have you ever tried moving a little? a keg full of beer.

It's goddamn impossible. It makes multiple people unless you're a gorilla, honestly. Washer was literally two-thirds my size. He moved kegs. By the time I'd move one, he'd move four or five. He just had this weird strength that made me think, even though this guy sits at the bar that we go to and eats a domino's pizza alone at the bar every night, this guy could tear me to shreds.

I'm going to go with the silverback gorilla. I think you're right. Hell of a call. Peter? All right. Well, since the, you know, the gorilla will not be fighting a keg, it will be fighting an animal that is more than twice its size. And like Will said, has claws, very sharp teeth, and literally will just instinctively reflectively claw, bite, destroy, kill.

I'm going polar bear. 100%. No question. Okay. I'm torn and I'll give my answer. here's how I see the fight materializing, right? So we said they're both standing up, they're facing off, and they go in, Clash of the Titans.

I see this gorilla going in with this massive blows and these big strikes. And honestly, one massive, like, hammer fist to the skull of the polar bear is probably done. That's all it probably would take. But I think the polar bear is going to come around the top and sink those teeth into a cranium or a neck or those claws sink in maybe through the back even. And I think that would be. the damaging blow. So my short answer is the polar bear

wins by a very slim margin. Like, I'm saying the polar bear wins six out of ten times and the gorilla wins the rest. Like, I think this one is a real close one. All right. So we got four to one polar bear because Will, Retep, and then Forrest's

count as two. Yep. So it's four to one polar bear. Chris, I think we got you an answer there. Is there one more? There's one more, and I should say that one for last because it was the best, because I think this one's real obvious, but I'm curious to hear what you guys think. Hippo versus rhino. Wow. You go last. You go last because this doesn't seem obvious to me. Okay. I mean, so I've learned everything that I know about hippos from this podcast and that they're

terrifying. They're not just pink fantasia dancing animals. Well, I mean, Forrest has almost been killed by a hippo twice. So that alone makes me, uh, we, I don't know anything about rhino. I think they're dinosaurs. I don't know. But the point is that hippos seem to be vicious. I've played a lot of Mike Tyson's punch out. There is a hippo that you fight. He's very difficult to beat.

And I honestly think, you know, even if the hippo, he's going to win. But if he doesn't, he's going to fucking helicopter shit all over you before he does. That's true. But I'm going to go. Okay, I'm going to go rhino. Basically, look, the rhino has this massive horn. Obviously, a hippo has these tremendous jaws, insane strength. But the rhino was actually a bigger animal.

As big as a fucking hippo is, right? You're looking at a male hippo is going to cap out at 4,000 pounds. Versus a male, versus a male rhino. We're looking at 5,000 to 5,200 pounds. They also... On all fours. A rhino over six feet, a hippo more like five feet. Look, it's about 20 to 25 percent bigger plus it as the horn.

Rhino for me. Zero question. Totally on Patrick's team. I mean, a rhino is an armored hippo with a horn. You know what I mean? It doesn't have the drum. But it's just a bigger tank. By the way, like, you know, you kind of, I don't think a hippo, even and a hippo's jaw is

terrifying. Like they will crush a meager human in a mere instant. But I don't think, I don't think the jaw. of a hippo is even getting through rhino armor they spar so rhinos spar meaning they will go at each other hit each other with their horns like play fighting um and that doesn't break that hide you know just that sparring so i think that hands down what you're going to see is the rhino is going to put its head down it's going to charge it's going to impale that hippo and that's the end of that listen i've been i've been converted it's unanimous it's definitely the rhino i didn't know anything about rhinos but i'm convinced it's

So, Chris, whoever, whichever of your friends voted Hippo, you should defriend them. You should. No, no. You should. You should absolutely send them this conversation, all of them, obviously, so that they understand why they're either right or wrong. Here's a funny thing. So my group of friends, we get in tons of stupid arguments, right, about sports.

Dave Metcalfe in 1990 was a better kid. We argue about the dumbest fucking shit, right? And so I have a friend who, he's a TV producer, who's a bit older. He's like 10, 15 years older than we are. And he talks about how him and his friends were the same way. They would argue about the dumbest shit pre-internet. And so they would literally, he talked about a time where they went to the library. He'll look something up instead of an argument.

Now we have our cell phones, right? So we could just go, well, what's actually bigger? This was subjective, Chris. Right. And what you just did was you got your idiotic, ridiculous argument that you and your drunk friends had in front of a world-class biologist and two of his loser-earest friends. And we argue about it. Thousands of other people.

Yeah. Yeah. Think about that. So congrats, Chris. You have your answers. I like that. So I got, you know, maybe one more what's in the news. And then, yeah, I don't even know if a battle royale could top that great argument.

But that was pretty good. It was great. But yeah, we could dig into some other stuff. But so, look, it's COVID times, right? Cities are abandoned. Subways, are they running? They are apparently. And I'll tell you why.

Because there was a guy in Queens, New York, who was cruising through the subway and found a sick swan. He picked up the swan, took it to Brooklyn on the subway, and then took it to a rehab center on the Upper West Side. And, yeah, wrapped the, a 17-pound bird. Oh, sorry. I didn't get the whole story. Sorry. He, once he got off the subway, he wrapped this thing in his jacket and biked across the city to deliver this wrapped up swan to this rehab place.

I fucking love this person. Holy shit. I love him. Yeah. He restores my faith in humanity. I have a huge burner. Good, good use of Bronner. Now, here's the thing that I don't think brosners are getting right now, which is the fact that of all those animals we just listed in a fight, swan wins 10 out of 10 times. Not really, but swans are a scary animal, they're terrifying, dude. They will come at you. They are, they're, oh my God, I'm not even kidding.

Like, swans are gnarly. They are so aggressive. It's insane. Dude, okay. Yeah, go ahead. Listen, quick story. Not a swan, but we've talked about before. I think it's the whole large bird.

So a goose, right? I'm riding my bike the other day by this pond. There's a bunch of geese fucking by the pond. I'm riding a bike going like 10 miles an hour. This mother, this motherfucking goose gets up and starts coming. Charging the bike. I'm kind of far away.

He like stands up as if like, as if he's going to fucking block the way. And then the other one gets up. I have to swerve into the grass. And he literally just like, they stand there and they're just like, yeah. That's, you know, that is what ones and geese will do.

That is a real... Kidding me? Yeah, they are. They're gnarly. They're so aggressive. I'm being corrected by W.T. Willie, to say it was a woman who did all of this, by the way. So I said a guy. So thank you, you know.

Just good karma to her. She's a great gal. And by the way, the swan had swallowed a fishing lure and was succumbing to lead poisoning. And they operated on it, pulled the fishing lure out, and the swan's making a full recovery. Crazy that it was in the subway. What the fuck's it doing down there? I mean, it's weird. You know, I don't know.

Could be like a cat. Like cats like to go and try and get cover when they don't feel well, you know, and die under a bed or something or whatever. Also, by the way, birds have hollow bones. So like even, you know, a huge eagle will weigh like eight pounds. A 17 pound bird is massive. That's insane. That's huge.

Dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. But for her.

What a stud. Yeah. What a stud. Yeah. Love that. Before we get into the battle royal, I do think there's one thing that we have to do, which is the bizarre animal of the week,

because people, they really fucking love it. And they DM me. Oh, yeah, I'm into it. Let's do it. You want to dig it into a bizarre animal of the week? Bizarre. All right. Let's see.

Let's think about it. So this week, we're going to talk about an animal that lives in water almost 100% of its life. However, this animal does not have gills. I know what you're thinking. You're going to dolphins and seals. Nope, you're wrong. Okay.

This animal has a single lung, not a set of lungs. That's weird. One lung? One lung. One lung. And it does use that lung to breathe. But the reason it only has one lung is because that lung is primarily used to control its buoyancy and it spends the rest of its time.

Stay with me, Peter, breathing through its skin. Yeah. Yeah, where are we going with this? I did a factor fiction about this, I think, with this animal, but I can't remember what the fuck it was. God damn. That's okay. Let's continue.

Let's continue. Shut up, Pat. These animals, like most animals, have a couple eyes, but they kind of see with those eyes. They have very, very limited eyesight, and they mostly see with an organ on their skin that unlike our sharks that you might be thinking of with their ampulae of Lorenzini, that organ on their skin are little moles that actually stick out of their skin for sensory perception. And they can see horrifying. They can perceive things around them. Yep. Yep.

They can pick up electrical fields and sense with them. Yep. The species. The buoyancy thing. This is not a new species. It's been around for about 170 million years. Okay. So now you guys are at a point where you're like,

all right, I'm putting it together. I'm thinking of this weird thing. It lives in water. It's got one lung. It's covered in bumps, breeze through its skin. It's some little fucking frog thing or a bug or something, right?

That's where the thought process is. Right. This animal is six feet long. Six feet. Dude. It's taller than Pat. Is it a platypus? It is not.

Okay. Okay. Let's continue. Continue. There's more. There's more baby birds. There's some good stuff coming still. So this six-foot-long animal with its bumpy skin that it uses to see its single lung, when it gets threatened, you think it's six feet long.

It's going to thrash. It's going to bite maybe, scratch, claw, slap you with its tail if it has one. No, no, no, no, no. This animal will defend itself by secreting a white, foul-smelling, liquid from that same skin as well as its orifices. So it's like cum. It is. It's very, very much like cum.

Yes. Boom. Okay, I got to guess. Oh, jump it in. You can hear some more or you want to just throw it? I'm going to take a guess. Take a stab. Is it a manatee?

That's a terrible guess. You almost said good. I did. I almost said good. Then I started thinking about the clues I gave you. No, look, that's not a bad guess. but that's not accurate. So we'll continue.

Okay, continue. Carry on. Peter wasted his guess. Shut your mouth. I have another guess. Now, you're thinking this is an animal that lives in the water, right? It's an aquatic creature. It probably doesn't make a lot of sound.

Well, you're wrong. Their call has been reported to sound just like that of a screaming, crying, human baby. Is this animal freaking you out yet? Because it's a weird creature. It is because it's six feet long. sees out of its skin. Well, the 125 million-year-old thing. It screams like a crime.

Sounds are scary. I just will say, most of the time when we get scared as human beings, it's because of a sound, right? A floorboard creaks. Yep. Someone rings the doorbell at night. Sounds can freak you out. The sound of...

Middle of the night. Coming from a six-foot-long animal, I'm going to stab it. Aquatic animal, too. So, like, yeah, you know, what's scarier than a thing? swampy creature. What else? I only got a couple more. I'm running out of,

running out of fog. This, the male, oh, here's one for you. Males and females, completely indistinguishable. Cannot tell them apart?

Except during breeding season, when the male's region, so to speak, will swell where you can then tell that it's a male. The rest of the time? It's got a little, little, little baldge,

a little skinny gene. Well, most six-foot-long things have like a 9-to-12-inch penis. I don't mind. I'm going to give you the last few clues here that I think the very last one might sink at home for the brosuners that might know. These animals can live up to 70 years, which is very long for an animal. Dude, that's nuts. Now. Okay, go ahead.

Sorry. No, no, take a guess. Go ahead. I was just to say, we're talking. talk because it lives mostly in the water, but it comes out enough to scream like a baby. I'm going to guess. God damn you. At some sort of lizard, I don't know, so I'm just going to make something up. I think it's called the Madagascar screaming lizard. Nailed it. Man Tee is a better gas. He nailed it. Shut the fuck up. What's not? All right. So I'm

give you one last hint. One last little... Hail Mary right here. Little, little, this little sprinkles. A little sprinkled. Feed us. Feed us, Daddy,

bird. This animal lives, of all places, in China. China. All right. A Madagascan thing. If we got any...

Are you sure it's not a fucking platypus? I'm not, but yes, I am. All right. Here we're. we go, ladies and gentlemen. The bizarre animal of the week, the six-foot-long, slimy brown, didn't add that in animal, that you cannot distinguish males from females, that can live to be 70 years old, that have one lung that they use for buoyancy, that breathe through their skin, that scream like a baby and shoot out foul-smelling white liquid when disturbed.

I'm going to kill myself if the next thing you say isn't the name of it. Is. I'm going to do it. The six-foot-long Chinese giant salamander, one of the coolest creatures on earth. A huge, disgusting.

A salamander that size of a crocodile that has all. We got a huge creature. Yeah, we'll pull up a picture for the people who are checking it out at the wild time on YouTube. Listen, I only have one thing to say in response to this, and you know what it is.

Thanks, China. I'm going to have and there's a very small picture. And a very large lizard. That thing's head is bigger than the man who's holding it. Oh, yeah. Look at this guy. By the way, that man is not Chinese.

He is not. This is not. Photoshop. Why is he grabbing its dick? It's bulge. He really is. Dude, I went, is that a dangerous animal? Is that guy in danger that's holding this six foot long lizard with a head the size

of a Rottweiler? Not really. That being said, so I have a buddy that's worked with the close relative of those, which are the Japanese giant ones, which are they only get to like four feet. So they're not as enormous. And he got tagged by one. He got bitten by one. And it didn't do any like significant damage. But, you know, he wasn't expecting it because it's a fucking salamander. Like who's scared of a salamander? He picked up this Japanese giant salamander, bit him on the forearm. And he said he screamed bloody hell because it latched on so freaking hard. They don't have big teeth or anything. And when it let go, his whole forearm. arm was swollen and bruised because it had such jawpower, which is pretty impressive. Let me just, let me just say. If there is any animal, any animal, it could be four inches long. It could be the size of an insect. If it bites me, I'm fucking freaking out.

If a four foot animal bites me, dude, I am fucking screaming louder than this fucking thing when it comes out of the water. Fair enough. Bro, it's crazy to think, too, because you don't know, like, you know, I think in high school and college, like we all got into fights with other men. And, you know, a fight, you kind of know what the end's going to be. It's probably not that they're going to kill you when you're 19 years old. You know, when someone goes down, usually it's over.

Now, as an adult, if I were to find myself in fisticuffs, I would have to think that the other person's end goal is me to be dead. Right. Like, it would be really scary. Like, I don't, I hope I never get into another fight in my life. life. I've never been bitten or attacked by an animal. So if an animal's biting me, I'm assuming that its end goal is to eat. I, dude, a six foot long animal? Are you fucking kidding me? Who's picking this thing up? Like, I mean, you've got to be, you've got to be fucking nuts to go and be like, oh, look at this

giant thing. I'm just going to fucking pick it up. I mean, granted, it looks like a giant slimy dick, but, come to count me in. What are we doing? Great. Good one for us. Well, done with your Bizarre Animal Week. Thank you. Hopefully we have a TV show where we're doing this type of stuff. Seriously. I think it's time, guys.

I mean, look at, yes. God damn near two hours at this point. Fuck yeah. Battle Royale. What's fucking do it, motherfucker. What you guys got? What do you got, Papa Pee? You got a good battle B.

I'm going to just go to producer Will. Wild Times Willie, if you will. Will. Will? You want to? It is Will. Yeah. Yeah. So, here we go. I like this one a lot that Will came up with.

He's a fucking psycho lunatic for coming up with this. You're a fuck. Oh, no. I'm going to go with one I thought of. I love this one. Oh, nice way. Dude, his brother is the fuck, Will. We're done with this shit face drunk on sunny delight.

The Dew Driver. I thought of this one this week. I love this one. This is fucking great. It's the best battle royal of all the time. Get ready for the shit. Oh, God. So, we've all seen lots of movies.

We love movies. It's great. Me and Peter put Elf on last night to get in the Christmas spirit. All right. So what you're going to do? We're going to do a snake draft. You're going to draft three creatures, animal-based creatures. Okay.

From movies. Okay. But what you're trying to do is, not, we're not going to fight them. We're not going to have them fight and become vicious and scary. What you're trying to do is you're drafting three of them as house pets. Oh, love that. Yeah, that's great. Who can come up with the best three house pets? Can we ever fight? They're not fighting. Oh, you, look, dude, we did, we did, we did, we did hippo. People like fighting. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done with fighting. I love.

I like this. I like this a lot. What are you that? So since it's my idea, I know you'll be hitting me up. I'm happy to go last. I'm happy to go first to give you guys some time to Google some shit. I'll blast. I'll be in.

Okay, I'll go last. All right. For us, draft your first pet, boy. Yeah, no problem. And for me, this is a no-brainer. Because since the rifeold age of four, when the movie came out, I've wished beyond, like on a star, if you will, beyond comprehension that this animal were something that I could keep.

Put me back into 1984, whenever the fuck the film came out. Probably not. 92, let's say, and give me a magoi. Do we recall what a magoi might be? I sure do, and it was one of mine. Was it really? Yeah, good. It was one of mine, yeah.

Explain. Good, thank you. How'd you're going last night. Hey, Will, Will, if you, well, why don't you jump on with us for all the people listening or watching on YouTube and pull up pictures of each of these. as we can. Yeah, that's fun. You stupid drunk fuck. Jesus Christ, you're unlikable, Pat.

So the Maguai is from the movie Gremlins. Do you remember the movie Gremlins? Dude, that was mine. I didn't know how the fucking was called. Are you kidding me? It's kidding me right now. From the old Chinese guy, you know, back when we could make movies about like cultural stereotypes, there's like crazy Fu Manchu Chinese guy buys the thing in the case.

It's like a little Furby fucking thing. The Maguire just don't get. get them wet, don't feed them after midnight. Are you, first of all, definitely getting it wet. Secondly, definitely feeding it after midnight, keeping it in a dope-ass lockbox so that I can have a Maguire. And yeah, like, look at that. Are you fucking kidding me?

Maguire every day. I'm literally fucking flabbergasted. Legitimately, that was my pick. I was just going to call it the furry gremlin, like the nice one. It's unbelievable that we all three had. That's literally why I was first because I'm just like I want one. Yeah. You basically drafted a gremlin because you know, for a fact,

that the first time we record a podcast up at your house in Santa Barbara, that we're going to feed it a piece of pizza after midnight, and you now have a gremlin. This is true. This is true. But it's still only one pick. No, you're right. This is what's going to happen.

You have a gremlin. There's no chance. And let's be honest, like we've all seen the movie gremlins. you know, in 1992, when the movie came out, terrifying. But if you go and watch Gremlins today, you're like, that's it. Like, these little things that just hump stuff and throw plates at you, like, I could live with that. It's not that bad.

Yeah. Just put it in a, just give it a nice enclosure outside with a bunch of plates and some rodents. Stuff to smash and things to chew on. Yeah, I'm into it. I'll keep it. Peter is on tilt because Forrest just took the mod, why, his first pet. So I'm just mimicking what my people. pick's going to be. This is what it looks like.

You guys ready for me? Yeah, what is it? You ever seen a movie, a little movie? Not that popular. Wasn't that great with critics. Goonies, there was a animal slash human liked Rocky Road ice cream. Oh my God. Same was sloth.

You're picking swath from the Goonies. Listen to me. Quiet. That's a human with a deformity. That's not a creature. It's not a human. Are you out of your mind? That's a creature. Definitely. Have you ever seen Sloth? Listen to me. All right.

So I'm not allowed to pick him? No, you don't really run. No, take them. I'm just saying, okay, my reasoning is this, okay? He, he's like me. He has no filter. He had no filter in the beginning of the movie. He was, you thought he was this just idiot, ugly, fucking creature from the Midwest that was chained up in the basement.

I like how you included that. And eventually you realized that he's an amazing sweetheart of an animal. He's loving. And all he needed was a little rocky road. There it is. You want that. Oh, yeah, that's human. That's going to be in your home.

Yeah, you're going to live with that. And by the way, like, you're repugnant to women as it is. Now, this is what's like their first thing they're going to see when they come by. Like, ugh. If I, listen, if I, if I, if by. By repugnant, you mean godlike, then correct. All right. So I'm going to go with my back-to-back picks, Peter.

That's how a snake draft works. I'm going to start with a very... So this is a utility pet, okay? Sorry. It's cute as shit. Yeah. It's so goddamn cute. Okay, all right.

From Star Wars, I'm going to pick an EWR. Oh, good pick. Now, they're about three and a half feet tall. They're furry. They're cuddly. They have big bellies. They make fun sounds. But here's the thing about an Ewok.

You now have a home security system that you'll never have to worry about an intruder because they are fucking dead. Yeah, they're vicious. They're trained. They have their own language. They're very well trained with a firearm. For the firearm, don't they just use spears? Wasn't that their whole thing?

Like catapults? At some point the Ewarks started using like laser. Oh, that's true. Yep. Yep. But regardless, regardless, the Ewarks are just, look how furry that thing is. Yeah.

Yeah, I like that. It's got a little garment that it wears. Yeah, it's got the little head thing going on. It's a lot more attractive than sloth. I can tell you that. It is, and I think it's going to protect me of the better. Guys, please. You already know I'm annoyed that this isn't a fight to the death.

Carry on, please. All right. So look, I've got an eel. I'm now going to pick a second, and it's going to sound like I'm sort of one note here, but I'm going to go with another Star Wars creature. I have a Star Wars fan. I'm going to have a Chewbacca.

Wow. A couple hairy guys hanging out. All right. Look, here's the thing about Chewy. Yes, he's seven and a half feet tall. I like it. I mean, you know, he's so goddamn deadly. Like, I'm worried about security.

Clearly, yeah. But here's the thing about Chubacca. He was a real softie. He was. He was a lover. A lot of hugs. A lot of hugs. Dude, imagine.

He's very cute. I wake up, my eyes open. The first thing I think is you didn't die in your sleep. Good. The second thing I think is I can't wait to go out of this room and see my dog because it's going to lick my face and it's going to love me more than anything in the world. Yep. Imagine just waking up in the morning, coming out of your room and just,

getting a nice hug from a seven and a half foot Chewbacca that's also kept you safe all night because he's going to sleep in reverse shifts. And got a nice grenade belt. Yeah. No, that's good. Yeah. That's very frightening. A lot of, like, you're going to have to get, I hope your third pick, I really hope your

third pick is like a Dyson vacuum cleaner because the amount of shedding going on at your place is going to be insane. Good point. Okay. All right. Peter, you're back up after you've picked. a deformed human, what would the next be?

By the way, is this a snake draft? Is it just one pick for me or two right now? My next pick will be. My next pick, God, I've been being in my head the whole time

Pat was picking just nonsense. I can't believe you pick two like Star Wars creatures. But it will be a fucking cute, smart animal. Everybody knows this name. Also the name of a famous baseball player who hit many home runs.

Babe the pig and Sloth will be in my house. Good pick. It's not the best looking house of creatures, but it's very entertaining what you're putting together. By the way, if you thought Chunk made Sloth fucking melt and become a better, not deformed human, but a better monster animal, well, Babe the pig is going to melt his heart

and make him just the best creature in the world. Question. What happens when Sloth literally eats Babe the pig? No, would not happen, dude. Did he eat chunk? Did he eat chunk? I don't recall, to be quite honest. I don't believe so.

No, he did not eat truffle. Yeah, yeah, it's true. That is true. Okay. Okay. All right. Nice. So for us, you're up for two.

Yep, sure am. You've already got a magwi that you turned into a gremlin the first night that we recorded. Which was a mistake, but it was worth it. Sure. Yeah. So, right. I'm going to go, you know, I'm going to go pick number two, and I am up for two.

I'm going to go to Avatar Land and pick the, yeah, we've got those real nice flying, colorful, like dragon eagle things that, you know, here's the thing. You got to blend your little, little, like, hair penis with them, I think. I'm not positive. I'm hoping. I'm hoping. I can break that trend and just figure out how to ride it without Hafton to plug in. And they're just like, what a cool looking creature.

Like we've all talked dragons many times, how much we like them. I want to ride this thing. I'm not going to lie to you. This is a straight up pick for self-enjoyment. We might be able to sell a show if you had a dragon. I think we could. Yeah, I really do. This is by far the best pick.

Just because I'm happy, it's not a cute creature. It's a, you know, pragmatic decision. Thank you. not into that whole cute thing. And WT. Willey's going to pop one of those Avatar dragons up on screen any moment here. But while he's doing that, you can't stop looking at Babe the pig. Yeah.

But well, you know. Dave is good looking. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good looking pig. I wonder how many pigs they used for the character of Babe. We've talked about this many times about natural history and how they cheat the hell out of it. Oh, yeah. Is your avatar dragon on YouTube?

Christ Almighty. Oh, that's a bad. Are you going into battle? It's a bad angle. bad angle, but they're, you know. I feel like you guys are trying to pull a fast one on me. At the end of this, you're going to say we're going to battle each other. Well, if it is, my third and final pick is not going to be much help unless he's going

to reduce you to Stitchers with laughter because my final pick is a pick for nothing but entertainment. I'm going to pick the 90s sitcom creature, elf, not ELF, AELF. Do you guys remember Elf? Yeah, he's got the with the nose. Sure do. Yeah. Yeah.

From Melmac? Yeah, of course. Elf was, I mean, he was hysterical. Like, everything he did was, like, a little bit shitty in a really funny way, which is right in line with our humor. I mean, it really is. You know, I think, I feel like, yeah, look at him. Like, elf at home, are you kidding?

Yeah. It's just me and Elf, we're hanging out. We're teasing the Magwai with fucking noodles at midnight. We're definitely getting drunk. If I remember correctly, Elf was a raging alcoholic. He drank a lot. Yeah, he drank a lot. We're riding the dragon around together.

I mean, it's a good team of people. Like, we're having a good time. That's a good team. Yeah. Yep. Okay. All right. That's my three.

Remind me of the rules. Whose turn is it now? It's yours. That's fuck. What do I get? Three picks or one? How many? Take your last pick.

You have a deformed human from the movie Goonies. I don't even remember your second pick. It was that forgettable. Babe the pig. Babe the fucking pig. Okay. All right. My third pick, I have been going back and forth a lot in my head with this one,

as you guys have been building your, what I suspect to be a team of people who are going to try and fight my team. No, there's no fighting. You've got to let that go out. These are house pets. I just don't believe you. Okay. Well, in that case, it's between right now for me Tinkerbell from Peter Pan and the creature from the movie Tremors. I haven't made the decision quite yet.

I think I'm going to go with the tremor. The tremor. I'm going with the tremor. So I'll have, I'll have fucking what's his face from Goonies. I'll have Babe the Pig. And I will have tremors. A giant, I ever. A hundred foot long earthworm with teeth.

Sandworm. Correct? To keep in mind, they have to live in a desert. So, okay. Which Peter doesn't. Nor does he have property for it to go on. You guys will be fucked. That's all I'm saying.

Okay. Disgusting and horrible pick. You've lost this. Okay, so there's the creature that's in your house. I'll trust it. I live with you now. I do not trust. That's a dead one.

Will W2. Will. Please bring up a living one. So I'm going to go with my last pick. I've got two very cuddly, cuddly pets that are furry, as Forrest pointed out. it's going to be a lot of shedding. And so I do need to mitigate that. So I'm going to go with a furless, hairless animal.

Pets can be used for a lot of things. True. For love, unconditional love, companionship, security as Chewbac and my EWalk will provide. Or if you're so inclined, you could fuck your pet. And so I'm going to go with another avatar creature, Nautiri. The blue check, right? Yeah, from avatar. It's good.

I just think that it's not, that's not cheating. That's not shooting. It's not. It's a pet. No judgment here. I mean, you're, for sure, look, you want to talk about selling TV shows.

Like, you know, fucking Bravo is going to be all over that shit. Like, yeah. Forget about her for a minute. Like, look. of this guy. Yeah. You get Natiri to Hollywood all of a sudden she's like such a basic bitch.

She's throwing glasses of wine in my face. Oh, yeah. It's the pick of the night. 100%. Yeah. It's Zoe Seldonna. It basically just looks like her except she's blue. Yeah.

I think she's like, I mean, not a whole. She's attractive, acute. Also, fucking a warrior. So if you did decide to actually engage with our crews, she would actually be a warrior for you. For us. You just brought up a good point. She is really tall.

Well, here's what's going to happen. Like, the reality is you've picked three badass adorable cool things. Her and Chooey are going to make off with your Ewok as their little adopted son and just leave you in the dust. And now that's a TV show. You're talking about Chubaka married to fucking hot blue chick with an Ewok baby running around WeHo just causing all kinds of trouble. Patrick is crying because his all family left. I mean, her and Chooey was offspring. Like, that's a crazy.

I don't even know what that looks like. So Forrest has just shit on my team. You wanted to fuck a creature with a tail, mate. That's all I'm saying. That's true. It's true. Come on. All right.

So we got Patrick's family that I just described. We got Peter's sloth from the Goonies, Babe the Pig. Great choice on that one. And a sandworm from tremors, which is arguably the worst. He doesn't have room. It's terrible. Yeah. Or we got myself who came up with the Magwai, not the Gremlin, the Mogwai.

We haven't fed it yet. The Avatar Dragon, so I could ride it around with my buddy Elf from the 90s sitcom, because Elf's hysterical and he's kind of a shithead and he drinks too much. So let us know who used team you like. You know, what pets would you like to have at home? Would love to hear it. Do you want, you know, E.R from Winnie to Boo? Are you going to have miserable Eeyore in your living room?

I don't want to go outside the day. I don't know. You know, let us know where can they find us and give us some reviews. I mean, five stars on iTunes. but Peter, where else can the people find us? Reviews. reviews are great. We have tons of them because people love the fucking podcast. So keep leaving them.

But honestly, and you can, you know, go to the website, wild timespodcast.com forward slash info. But more importantly, tell a friend, fucking tell a family member. If you know people who love animals, who are bros, have bruners, all the bullshit we do, fucking tell them about this podcast. And, yeah, we love you. on Soche, right? There's merch out now. At Wild Time, Todd. Yep. At Wild Time pod. By the way, the shirts, the, I noticed that most of the stuff we're selling is, uh, is the sleeveless, the sleeveless shirts. Yeah. Tank's, big. What are going like hot cakes? Yeah. What's the most popular one?

Which one sold the most? It's actually the logo, right? The logo, dude, the logo. That's time. I did post, did you guys, everybody saw what I posted on Instagram. The bro-stners who wore the tank tops. One of them wore the no amygdala. And the other one wore the My Spirit Animal blobfish. Great. They were both super jacked. Yeah, huge, huge bros, super jacked.

Great physiques. Like, way to rep the brand, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. Look, it's, it's time to start, you know, shopping. That's right. And I think if you want to support the pod, there's no better way to do it.

Then go to what page, Peter? The Wild Time. Times Podcast.com forward slash merch will get you to this bullshit. And really, this is, this is the t-shirts, all this cool stuff, pretty much just goes to funding Will's

Mountain Dew and Sunny Delight collection. Yeah, he's, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I put up a new one, Will, can you pull up the blobfish neck scarf right there? Oh, you got a little face mask, a little blobfish face mask

slash box. That's hideous. I love it. Dude. This thing. Wait, is that a COVID face mask? Is that what that is? Well, it's just like a bandana, like a morph scarf. That is awesome.

Yeah. If you watch your face to look like this, if you're watching YouTube right now, go here, check it out. Check out the different angles. I mean, this is what I basically looked like when I was growing up. All right. Then, not now. Have a good night. Well, next week, we will be broadcasting.

from the hot tub. Yeah. Which is pretty exciting. We're going to record that next Sunday for release the following Monday. Yep. I'm excited about that because we'll probably be pretty intense. We have to be. I want to add on the other coast, but also in a hot tub.

Nice. Nice. Yes. Okay. That's perfect. Dude, Willie never drops the ball. The guy gets it. Yeah. Yeah. W.T. All right. Good night. Love you guys. Love you all. Thanks for joining all times. Peace out.