Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #35 - Utah Wildlife Bridge, Tiger King Bill, Emotional Support Animals Banned?

Episode Date: December 7, 2020

Everything in the title PLUS your favorite games like Battle Royale! AND a new segment called 'DARWIN AWARDS' where the crew reacts to some of the dumbest of the dumb, then votes. You don't want to miss this one! More @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com We love you!

Bounch, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. What, whoa, wild times. Oh, yeah. Filthy. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is the Wild Times podcast. I'm the broologist Forrest Galante, joined, as always,

by the ever-handsome, top-knotted Retep, the brofessor. What's up, Reteb? Hey, man. Normally I cheer when you say your, for your name on the podcast and introduce yourself, but boo, man, boo.

I'll talk about it after you intro the brod. Sure. We'll circle back to that. Yeah. I'll do that. Then of course, there's the broducer, the guy who has not been seen, and I'd say 32 episodes without a hat for some reason, might be balding. He is an older gentleman.

Mr. Patrick Toulogel. He ate sad, bro. Oh, not balding at all, bro. I have all my hair. It's wonderful. I don't ever plan to lose it. And I'm vain enough that if I did, I would spare no expense in getting surgery. It's like one thing where I would just.

I'd be like, oh, it's $100,000, sure. Yeah. Would you? And I want to introduce who this is sitting to my right in a second, but would you, if they were like, hey, man, we'll fix your hair for you, but you're going to be the new Bosley for men's spokesperson. Like, you're the guy that on the cover of every billboard. Like, I was a mask and gorgeous.

Would you do it? Of course not. Why would I do that? I would just, I would pay for it. Unless it was my only option. Have you seen Elon Musk, like old pictures of him? Here, here's what you're doing that. smart about the fact that you're going bald. You're wearing a hat so that nobody knows you're going

bald so that when you do get the hair implants, you won't be a laughing stock of heads like Elon Musk is. He's got a lot of hair. There's no... Look at this luxury. It's nice. It's nice. I think you've already got an air transplant. It's a Vidal Sassoon commercial what's going on on top of my head right now. Meeting a pretty hair. Join right here is one of my best friends, Ricardo Dina. there's the cheers wow cheers for you Rick are in friends a really long time and we're actually up here in far northern

California doing a Friendsgiving getaway where all we do is farage for wild foods and cook it together and Rick was here so I was like hey get on the pod we'll have a good time nice nice yeah so Ricardo let's get into this a little bit here

how long have you known for us Um, since ever since freshman year of college. So, uh, long time. So 13 years. I understand from what I've heard that he was a bit of a, a fucking nerd kind of, just kind of like a nerd at college at first. Mm-hmm. Is that correct?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you, uh, I mean, you couldn't get him away from a book. Yeah, that was me. Did you get good grades for us? Were you, were you a good student? I've never revealed this publicly ever before. Freshman year first quarter, I was put on academic probation and almost kicked out of school. Nice.

Where at? What school? UC Santa Barbara. Yeah, I got to college was like, wow, girls and partying and rugby and what's that other thing I was supposed to do? I don't know. I'm not going to bother with it. And never attended class and got straight D's my freshman year first quarter. Wow.

We have similar stories, bro. I went thinking I was pre-med and I was taking on cam and bio and all this shit first semester. I was just, I was just like, like four weeks in, I was like, I don't even know where my class. I was like, I haven't been to a class. I don't know where they are. I haven't bought any books. I was like, I'm supposed to be doing all that, right? Yep.

Good. When I went to, when I went to college, so first of all, I was in all like the, I was in the dumb, like they put me into this thing called EAS that was English and S science combined where we just watched popular movies and wrote a paragraph about them for two periods a day. So they had given up on me in high school for like two years. And then I was on work programming and I just worked. And then so when I came back in, yeah, work program. But I came back in and I asked my dean, I needed a recommendation letter. She was fucking shocked. And I was, but the only reason I went to college, like you guys, I went to visit one of my friends.

I went to Western Illinois, which is like a huge, well, I mean, it's a small school, but it's like a party school. Everybody just gets fucked up. And I went there. And I literally just got hammered, went to keggers, made out with chicks, got stoned for a weekend. And like at the end of the weekend, I'm like, so this is what you do all the time. Yeah. Like that was literally why I went to college.

I was like, all right, I'm in. There's no reason not to do those things. Like I didn't, like Patrick, I didn't realize that you actually had to go to class in the first part of my college. experience. Oh, you actually have to get an education. Yeah. So that was good. Yeah. I have a lot of recurring, like my recurring stress dream, I have two. And the one that's the most common is that like I have a final for a class that I didn't know I was signed up for. And like I'm like trying to find the room and I'm like, oh my God. And dude, it's like I probably have that like once a week.

Like whenever I have like a work stress or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really weird, man. You're just searching for the entire. dream and then you wake up. It doesn't matter what the context is. Like, I have those dreams are the worst, dude. Yeah. It's that in high school football that my coach is like, we need you. And I can't find my pads.

And it's so weird. And it's weird because I wasn't good. They never needed me. Yeah. No, people do love hearing about Forrest's college adventures. They ask a lot about, I get a lot of questions on the Wild Times, Instagram DMs and stuff, asking about, like, you know, What did Forrest do in college?

How did he become what he is today? And I'm sure they'll be happy to hear that you didn't give a shit about school and just drank until you passed out. Yeah, that's why he's on TV now. Yeah. Everybody that's successful in my field works in academia. I work in television. So that's what I'm asking. Making a boob out of yourself on national television so that they can sell cat food.

All right. So you guys both look like you just rolled out of bed, which I know is not the case. What have you guys been doing today? How do you know? How do you know? Oh, boy. They have been getting some solid sack time. He's hammered.

Yeah. I am hammered. We've been drinking since we got out of the ocean, which is about an hour ago, which is why we both look so disheveled. You look good. Bedhead. Yeah. What's going on in the ocean?

What's going on in that ocean of yours? What do we do? Lock the water, man. It's, uh, yeah, get out there. I mean, we go around for a couple hours. right before sunset, right when the sharks get active in essentially, in a sealed costume, if I may. It was actually really sketchy. So there's huge waves here right now. Nobody dives up here, right? We're in extreme northern California. It's super cold. It's literally the red triangle. It's named that

because it has the highest density of white shark attacks of anywhere in the world. And Rick and I and our two other buddies were like, should we just jump in and dive? Like we haven't dove up here in years. Yeah, fuck it. And then we're like, wow, the waves are too big. Let's go away. off shore to those rocks, way the fuck out there and dive there. And then we're swimming out over like, I don't know, it's like 70, 80 feet deep, zero visibility. You know, it's like five percent of activity up here. And we're like, huh, there's a seal colony right over there. That's, this is not a good idea.

So we proceeded to do it for another two hours and got a bunch of sea urchin. So, you know, worth risking your lives for. And, and here we are drunk. Glad you're alive. Yeah, I'm glad you're drinking after. Yeah. But after thousands of years of human evolution and them figuring out how to get us food easily and grocery stores, we still decide that crossing, you know, a quarter mile of shark territory is the best way for us to get dinner.

Yeah. No one made a lot. Well, Seerchin, man. Like, you know, searchin's like fucking hundred bucks a pound. Like, if you get, especially northern California, uni, like, I was in a sushi restaurant in Tokyo. And it was the most expensive thing on the menu was the same uni you just picked. What do you call it? Harvest?

You pick it? You catch it. Yeah. I mean, either or. But dude, straight up. It's super expensive. And I mean, I get it. Like, it's a little bit dangerous, but it's so abundant.

Like, I mean, how many, like, how many would you say you saw today? Millions. Millions. Like, it's everywhere. Yeah, dude. I'm not even kidding. I mean, big urchin, too. It's actually so abundant that they have groups that get together with a massive vacuum

cleaners and they will suck up urchin from the bottom of the ocean, get rid of them. Get rid of them because there's so many of them. Yeah. Dude, that's, that's fucking. insane because they are expensive. I mean, to buy them and to eat them anywhere. They're just, they're like diamonds just fucking abundant and

being hoarded so that we pay more for them. From your culinary expertise, I know Patrick, you know, Patrick's eaten phoony in Tokyo. You get a sea urchin at Taco Bell and Recita or are they not serving that any longer? Man, he's hammered because that was a bomb.

No, I liked it. I chucked and I enjoyed it. Well, you know, Chris Darnett who's a camera guy that was in Zanzibar with Forrest and I, he's part of this uni club. And he drives down to Manhattan Beach, which is like an hour. You have to be a member. And you just, like, sit there and eat as much uni as you can.

No what. Yeah, and he pays like a thousand bucks a year to be part of this club. That's ridiculous. Dude, that's a thousand bucks a year. Well, I mean, he was one of the first ones to be on Bitcoin. So he's probably like a billionaire now. He was mining Bitcoin. on Bitcoin because we were Patrick and I worked with him a couple different times and he dude he's like he doesn't need to work anymore like he killed it on

crazy can I tell you something about that him and I were shooting a scripted series so we were on set together four days a week for like 40 weeks and he was mining bitcoin at this point I swear to God this is when it was a dollar yeah and he was like dude just like put a thousand dollars into it I was yeah it's worth nothing that's just I'm wasting it. I don't like to talk about it. I don't like to talk about it because I literally was like, I'm going to buy a bunch of this. It was a pain in the ass to get it. It was just like, you know, a bit of a. Yeah.

So I just didn't do it. But I was planning on buying several hundred dollars worth it. It was like $11, dude. And like, every time it's brought up now, I just fucking. You'd be retired. Yeah. We're going to get hundreds of messages. People are just going to be Bitcoin, Bitcoin.

Well, here's an interesting thing for you guys, right? So 25% of all the money in the money in the money. the world has been printed this year. We're about to enter into a quarter of all money in the world has been printed this year, right? So we're about to enter a period of massive inflation. There's no question about it. Great.

And so a lot of big time investors that are typically like blue chip stock type people are putting money into Bitcoin and hence why the price has been driven up. But like, dude, there's some, like, I talked to someone very legit Wall Street guy. who said his price target for 2025 on Bitcoin is 340,000, which is 17 times the current value. So I'm like, shit. You're going to buy so? You're going to buy some?

What's the Bitcoin at right now? They're like what? It's a 20K. Well, it was up at 20K. It beat its previous record at 20K. And then it went back down. And they've been, dude, I love it too. In the news, it just gets so crazy.

Everybody's speculating on it. But then it went back down a few grand. But I also read, there's one guy who apparently, is well trusted who thinks that it's going to go up to 300k potentially by the end of next year. Oh, come on. Interesting. It's not going to go to 20. It might.

But that's what we said. It was fucking worth literally like fractions of a penny in 20, fucking 20, 2008 or whatever. Yeah. I mean, gold as well. So the guy who invests for me, he thinks that gold is going to double in value by the end of 2021. That's fucking. Because people are just like, these dollars are worth nothing. They're just printing more.

This is what happened in Argentina and their economy completely fucking crashed. Like, you know, it's tricky. Well, and you got, yeah, I mean, you have so much, you have so much, you know, fucking instability out there right now and everything. They're just, what are they going to do? So they're going to give us another check or whatever because they're just shutting everything down today in L.A. and California. Everything shut down again, all the small businesses.

So they're going to give more money. Like, people are definitely going to lose faith in. money if they're just they just give it away you know i don't know it's all fucking wild when rick and i and by the way for anybody listening for the first time this is indeed an economic podcast like if you go in the wrong state wild time no rick and i uh i'll title yeah gotcha um but uh we'll get on to some good good wildlife stuff in a second but just kind of funny side story talking about hyperinflation when rick and i went to zimbabwe because i i went back to zimbabwe which you know it's a king of hyperinflation Yeah, 2011, and Rick flew out to visit me because he's like, dude, I want to see where you grew up, like, show me your home country.

We end up traveling for three months all around Southern Africa together. Wow. Nice. But it was right when the Zimbabwean dollar, which at one point in time was one for one for the British pound, right? So richer than the United States, like a stronger currency than the U.S. dollar. Wow. I don't know that. Yeah.

When we got there, when I went back to visit in 2011 and Rick landed, they had just the U.S., the Zimbabwean dollar was being printed on trillion dollar notes because it was so worthless. It wasn't worth the value of the paper was printed. There were bags of cash on the street. It was just blowing around the roads and the street because it just was completely worth it. To buy a loaf of bread, you'd have like four shopping carts. That's crazy. Or sorry, four like bags of cash and be like, here for the loaf of bread.

And they'd be like, okay, that's 750 trillion. And it was just so stupid because they're like, hey, our country's in trouble. Let's just print more money. and it destroyed the entire country. So, yeah, that was pretty well. Dude, like when we were in Madagascar a few times together, and you have to buy, I think it's called Ariari, right? That's their unit.

So you have to pretty much use that because they don't trust American dollars and there's a lot of counterfeiting there. So when you get to the airport, you have to buy Ariari, and like the smallest denomination is $5,000 or $50,000 because they've done the same thing where they're just like, money. And the fucked up thing is you really need to spend every all of it because then they won't buy it back. So like when you get back to the airport when you're leaving, you're like, can I sell this back to you?

They're like, fuck no. Get out of here. Put it in a frame and pop it on your wall when you get back to the U.S. with your real money. Let's get into some stuff for us. For the wildlife enthusiasts among our brosters. What do you got? What came across your desk? What's in the news?

Patrick, what do you see anything? Anything slide across your decks this week? Decks? God, he's hammed. Yeah. Let me get into one because this is phenomenal, and I need Ricardo's opinion on this. Yes.

All right. So, an Alaskan Airlines flight had to make an emergency landing because it hit something up in the air at about 400 feet. What do you think it hit? I mean, Ricardo, what would you guess that it hit? At that height, 400 feet. It's not a giraffe word.

The very obvious answer is a bird, but I'm going to say, you know, maybe this time it was landing in night, and it's a very high-flying bat that got way out of line. That's smart. That's smart. That's not what it was. Wait.

What? Let me guess. Let me guess. And I guess? Yeah. Go ahead. He'll the fuck up. I need validation.

There's obviously aliens. All right. Go ahead. It was not an alien. It hit a two and a half foot long fish. What? A fish. A fish?

A flying fish? Sorry, I'm hearing bird, but you're saying fish. Yeah, it hit a two and a half foot long fish. And it was taking off. This is a fucking Alaska Airlines flight, right? There's people back there. People were just as, you know, people like me are sort of sneaking their little booze bottle out of their backpack, getting ready to chug it.

people are settling into their wild times podcast and the fucking plane hit a fish 400 feet in the air I need some explanations here guys I mean it must have been a big fish to have the plane to the plane two and a half feet long that's crazy I've heard about this so interesting sidebar or it's not really sidebar it's related to this but so you know the whole raining frogs thing from the biblical like 10 10 days or whatever it is so that's based in an ounce of reality, which is that there are occasionally these massive... Can you hear them? Peter? No. It's good? Can you hear me?

You were frozen for a second there. That whole thing frozen cut out. Just do it again. Okay, but you can hear them now? Cool. Nice. Peter, you have to do some editing for once, do some work, finally. So, interesting kind of sidebar about that. So, you know, the whole 10 plagues or whatever it is where it would rain frogs in biblical time. So that is based on a real thing, which is, you know, the cyclones you see when you're driving like through the desert to Vegas or every now and then you just see this like massive little like spiral going up into the atmosphere?

There's like multiple accounts of those. I don't even know what they're called whirlwinds. What the fuck is that thing? I don't even know. Yeah, like those, the fuck, water spouts, right? Cyclone. Cyclone. I don't even know.

No, but there are like numerous accounts of those going over aquatic habitat and scooping up animals and then dumping them. And supposedly in the Ten Commandments, when it rained frogs as it's, or not Ten Commandments, whatever, it's 10 plagues or whatever the hell. Yeah. Yeah, the raining frogs was a real event that happened where it went over swamp and rained frogs. And I'm guessing, not that I know anything about Alaska Airlines hitting a fish in the sky, had something to do with this. Like a low pressure system came through, cyclone form, shot a salmon, I'm guessing, up into the air, and bam. So what you're saying is that Shark NATO could actually happen. Yeah, it's a documentary.

I'm just, I got to address the fact that Forrest is definitely, he's an expert when he's, even when he's hammered, even though it doesn't sound like the words that are coming out of his mouth are English. He's reverted back to his freshman year in college, but he is an expert, everybody. Ricardo's like six foot four, and I don't know what he weighs, not that much, but he's like, look, dude, let's do some drinks. Before we start the podcast, he brings me a beer and a gin and tonic, and I'm drinking both. I'm a balanced diet.

He's doing the same, but I'm not six-four, okay? So I'm getting tanged. Everybody knows. He's like, I'm good. Look, if people want, dry scientific animal content. There's plenty of other podcasts. If you want to listen to a drunk biologist, this is the podcast for you.

I'm just saying, you know, if we're asking, you know, what's your take on this, Mr. expert? I think we should be going to me today. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. Just kidding. Let me ask you this. So before we, before we derail completely, what about the possibility that is it possible that a bird could

a snagged, like an eagle, like a bald eagle could have snagged the salmon and then lost it in midair? I mean, 400 feet's nothing, right? Like 400 feet up is, it's nothing. Birds are flying 400 feet all the time. I could see, I could see a bird snagging a fish and dragging it up and here comes a scary airplane and dropping it. And Alaska Airlines getting very freaked out by that. Yeah. What I will add is I know, I know often in the Sierra Mountains here, they, the planes come and they'll bring like 100,000 pounds of fish and just open the latch and drop it into the high alpine lakes. Oh, really? Yeah, that's a good point.

So they don't drop and you'll look up. You know, you'd be fishing on the shore and you look up and it's just raining trout. And you're like, that's fucking nice. And do the trout survive that fall? Oh, yeah. I mean, allegedly. Whoa. Yeah.

Yeah. That's crazy. what's true that is how they stock all the high alpine lakes is with fish drop so yeah yeah i had no fucking idea did you know that pat that they stocked lakes like that of course not no i assumed that it was one at a time with a u.s postal service guy wearing shorts a fucking plain by the way so just a minute ago uh got a knock at the door right yeah what was that all about seven you know 7.30 p.m. here, but it's been pitch black for fucking four hours. So it was literally like a movie where the phone rings and everyone's scared.

Like there was, like, someone knocked at the door and we were like, are you expecting someone? Or you, like, get the gun out of the safe. Like, it was as if someone was going to kill us and it was just the fucking postman. At 7.30 at night? That's what I was. I was looking at him, dude, because I was literally like. like I was looking at him, kind of trying to look angry and like I'm fucking the kind of guy who has a gun. Because I was like, I don't know, man. Is he casing?

Like, what's he doing? Like, is he trying to see? Yeah. Yeah, he's just trying to get on the wild time. So he knows what's up. I'm sure that's it. Forrest, what came across your death, bro? I mean, I got, I got fish getting hit by planes.

What do you have? You do. You got that. Look, you know me. Like, I'm looking at, I'm looking at dry scientific papers. I'm looking at stuff that's impactful in the world of conservation. What do I see? I see a man in India who has 60,000 bees on his face.

What do you know about that? What? Yeah, no, this is a real thing. So there's this guy. He calls himself Nature MS. That's his name, allegedly, who just let 60,000 bees cover his face. Now, I don't know if you've seen a bee. They're this big.

You've seen one. Never seen one. He puts $50,000 on them. Holy shit. All the fucking way down your neck to your fucking chest, dude. This guy's nuts. That's crazy. He's on his face.

I don't know how he does that. And in the article I read, he quotes that I've had this talent my whole life. He says, he doesn't regard him as a threat. I'll be a funny. Like he's some kind of fucking villain. You're, look at this fucking guy. Look at this fucking guy on the screen. What is this?

What am I looking at here? By the way. Animals are cool. Bees are nuts. neat. Like if you don't get stung by one, that's legit. What the fuck are you doing? Like, why do you have 60,000 bees on your neck and shoulder? Are you a

superhero? Like, what is your story? If anything, it's, it's incapacitating and they do anything at all. They're covering his eyes, his nose, his mouth. They're probably mating on him, for Christ's sake. Who the fuck knows what's going on here? They're mating on him. For those of you who just listen

on iTunes or whatever, go to the YouTube, the Wild Times Pod YouTube, because we pull up all the pictures and videos that we talk about. And you can see Forrest and how drunk shit-faced drunk it's right now. I really have not. Dude, I've never seen. I almost think we should just bail on everything and talk about how drunk Forrest is for the next 40 minutes.

No, not the fact. Absolutely. Back to the bees. Sorry. Listen, W.T. Willie's got a great pick of the bees pulled up right now. It's insane.

It just looks like a guy who stuck his face in mud and makes no sense. I don't know what's going on. What I'm looking at. And the bee is just not a big fan of his life. left shoulder? Are they just... He must have put for us a serious question. He must have put like honey or something on him to attract

them in that formation. Why else would they do that? Or do they huddle up in one area like that? No, if you put honey on you, Winnie the Pooh comes. Bees aren't attracted to honey. They make honey. That's right. Yeah. Idiot. Oh my God. Still giving

me shit, can't even form a centauntz. That's true. Yeah. No, look, I I don't, I've seen this before. I think everybody has the guys that cover themselves in bees or put the arms, you know, with the bees on I don't know how they do it. Are they putting pollen on themselves or some kind of like bee pheromone that smells like the queen? I have

no idea actually. That's, that's yeah, yeah, yeah. B-farmone. I could see something like that has to do with the queen because they naturally, obviously, fucking all like gravitate towards the queen. I'm still fucking... Which means that every one of those 60,000 bees is just

J-Oen on this guy's face. That's what I'm saying. I mean, either Jay Owen or Humping. Hey, Ricardo. Have you been to, have you been to northern Utah, like the mountains up there, like the Uinta Mountains? I haven't. You guys spent much time there?

This place called Fish Lake, specifically. That was your biggest lake trout I've ever seen. You're in like 40 to 60 pound lake trout out there. But, yeah. Oh, shit. That's fucking crazy. Those are huge. I hadn't really spent much time there.

I was there recently. And it's fucking beautiful, man. Like northern Utah, like, it's incredible. Just beautiful mountains, nature everywhere, tons of pine trees. And the most fucking roadkill you can possibly imagine. I mean, dude, there are certain drives where you're just like, it's like you're playing a Nintendo game just veering around roadkill. Dude, I saw dead moose.

I saw a bear. I saw a bear roadkill when I was there. Grizzly or black? It was night. Yeah, black bear. But I did just see this piece of news that they, because there's so much fucking roadkill there on I-80, which is one of the main roads, they opened a, took them years to get the $5 million of funding that they needed to just create a wildlife bridge. Oh, I saw that. Super cool.

They built a wildlife bridge so that animals could get across the highway. and they put trail cameras on it, and they're using it. They already started using it earlier than they thought is what they said, didn't they? They were like, they, I saw when they announced the build of it. Are there, like, actual images of animals on the bridge already? Yeah. Dude, it's awesome. Like, yeah, Will's pulling it up.

There we go. Come to the YouTube, wild timespodcast.com forward slash YouTube. You got a nice moose using the wildlife bridge. I love that they just know. It's like your stepdad squirrels, dude. Wait, I missed it. What Patrick Gassb what is? I see the moose.

Wait, well, well, can you, yeah, can you go back to before when that first female moose comes through? Wow. What's the animal after? It looks like a sloth. Oh, there's a cougar. A cougar, dude. Wow. Yeah, right after this moose.

A quick second. Hang on, right after this moose. Stand by, standby. Stand by. What is that? Oh, yeah, that looks like a sloth. The porcupine, North American porcupine. Really? Okay.

Yep, they are very slothish in their movements. But, hey, so this reminded me of a comment, right? I don't want to derail us too much, but I got this text, or not text, Instagram message from Bryce Newton, Bryce underscore Newton on Instagram. And he goes, hey, man, love Wild Times podcast, my favorite thing on Spotify. But me and my friends talk about this all the time. time. How many unarmed people would it take to take down a full-grown moose? Peter, what do you think? Let's get into it. This is a legit question from Brosner.

Oh, man. Rick, what do you think? Why don't you lead us off? How many people, full-grown moose? Patrick, how many pounds of moose? I think I could be wrong. I think like 1,200 pounds. They're massive. They're the largest of the deer family in the world. I don't know exactly how many. are 840 to 1,500 female, so we'll go male. 840 to 1,500 pounds. All right, so let's assume, we're talking about a 1,500 pound male moose here.

Unarmed people. So you're just in a room with this fucking moose. How many of your bros does it take to take this thing down? All right, Ricardo goes first. Yeah, let's hear it. I'm thinking, Neil, what does it take down? Is it just getting on the ground or you then, like, put it in a chokehold and like... How about, like, incapacitating to the point of safety?

I think, I would say kill them. it. Okay. We're talking about eating the moose here. Killing it. Killing and eating. I mean, I think you go the old cow tip and you get two your buddies on the back side of the legs and then you get three of your other buddies to run from the other side, jump and try to tackle into it and tip it over. So you're saying five guys take down a 1,200 pound moose. I think if you got five guys, you could take down a moose. I call bullshit. No way. I think the biggest problem is then once it's on the ground,

What move do you pull? Dude, if you're high, 1,200-pound moose, one kick and you're dead. Yeah. Well, I like where Ricardo's going because that's the thing. Okay, so in Alaska, moose kill more people than bear. And whenever you go on a bear expedition, they like to tell you that. The reality is it's not because the moose are charging so often. It's because think about a moose.

Exactly. They have these tiny stick legs and then a 15. hundred pound body. When you hit it with your car, the legs just shatter, and now 1500 pounds perfectly comes through your windshield. But they do have those little thin legs. So I like the idea of trying to take it down by the legs, break the legs so that it can't get up, and then you could stomp it.

I don't like the idea. No one should do this. No one should do this. This is mean. Yeah. I'm still going to say, I'm going to say like, I think. think like 30 because I think like 15 to 20 are going to I think 15 to 20 are going to die like they are so big Charlie and have these massive racks of horns like you're you're

fucked if you're fighting a moot I'm sorry why I think 20 people are going to die and possibly get enough hits on the moose they're like this you know they're sort of sacrificing themselves and then the other 10 could sort of finish it off what are they are they running into it Are they, you know, punching them? Anything they want. Without guns, right? Without weapons. Kicking the legs.

We're talking about like British fisticuffs. 30 is overkill, in my opinion. I'm going to, I'll take a guess. I'm going in between. I mean, five, I think, I don't think it would secure a win, certainly. But I do think if you had 10 full grown male human beings. No way. That it could take down a full grown moose.

What's your answer for us? I'm on Team DeLucah. I'm thinking like 30 people and 30 like 30 guys that work out. Like I'm not talking about tech nerds. 30 guys that are the size of Forrest's head alone. Yeah, which is beefy. I mean, there's a lot of. Yeah. Bigger than a mooses.

Wow. So 30. I mean, that counts as three because Forrest is two. But drunk forest is only 0.5. So one and a half to two. So I think it's somewhere between five and ten, Brosners. Drunk Forest has lost very few fights. And the ones he's lost, he's lost very badly.

So, you know, why don't you just be quiet? I love how it was just dead air. No, that's funny. Come on, that's a good joke. No, it is funny. So we do this thing on the show where we go, what came across your desk, right? Which is a drink, by the way, so tears.

Cheers. The thing is, have you read anything? You're always reading the news literally all the time. Every time I talk to you, telling me about something. Anything come across your desk this week, interesting about wildlife, wildlife news, anything in that zone? Now that the couple of din Tongues have kicked in, I actually do remember, I don't know, did I talk about this? The Lion King Bill. Sorry, the Tiger King Bill.

Tiger King Bill? Tiger King Bill. So essentially, you know, Tiger King came out. and it looks like they're taking action, and they want to ban the private ownership of all big cats. I'm talking leopards, tigers, tigers, cheats, cougars, anything. The, it basically making it illegal for anyone to breed or own them. Hmm.

How do you? This is a, like, federal bill? This is in, throughout the United States. This is straight up from the Department of Agriculture. You have to get a license from then. That's the only way to do it. But the House of Representatives has passed this bill. So it's, it's federal.

Looks like they're taking pretty seriously. And what are your what are your father? Is that good or bad? That's good. It's a good thing for sure. We need regulation of big cats. I mean, I think the one good thing that Tiger King did do,

other than just being the Jerry Springer or Game of Thrones of Rednecks, was like, show us that this is a problem, you know, that it's literally, like, remember we guys, we talked about this extensively on the pot.

It's like the same price of an iPhone, you can go and buy a tiger cup, right? Which is like, it's nuts. You know, $1,200 bucks. You go buy a tiger. and then you're in charge of that deadly creature's life and its well-being and everything else.

I mean, I think it's a good thing for the Fed to pass a law that you don't have to do that. Are they going to go take away people's tigers that already have them, or are you grandfathered in if you already have the tiger? Any idea? I've got to think they're grandfathered in. If you're going to try to take, I could just imagine a lot of trouble going on if you're going to take tigers from the Tiger King. Well, I mean, like, so Texas is the capital of domestic tigers, right? There's 5,000 domestic tigers just in Texas. 3,800 tigers in the wild in the whole world.

5,000 in Texas. Yeah, I don't see that going well. You roll up to some dude's fucking compound, and you're like, taking your tigers, they're going to be like, you know, open the hatch and the fucking 50 caliber comes out. Dude, the kind of person that has a tiger to begin with probably is somebody that also, has a fucking 50 Cal, honestly. I wouldn't want to do that. I mean, if we're,

if we're Canadian zoning tigers, then you just had to go like, hey, man, you got to give that back. Mark, oh, sorry. Right. It's, you know, it's, in Texas.

Yeah. Tell it. Something. I did read completely unrelated to this, is that Joe Exotic has been sending relentless amounts of letters to the Donald Trump administration to asking for a pardon, which I just think, I don't know,

just that whole situation is really funny. Imagine being big Donald Trump being like, yeah, Joe's writing to me today. I don't know. It's pretty funny. By the way, it's honestly, I think he's got a better chance of that than any other way of getting out of jail, honestly. 100%.

Yeah. Yeah. Zero question. Well, what did Joe, wait, what did Joe get put away for? Was it an attempted, was it the murder plot? That's what he got all that time for. Did he try to hire a hitman? Was that it?

That's right. Allegedly. Allegedly. Well, I mean, now he's been convicted. Convicted. Yeah. But, yeah. I, retap, anything on anything come across here?

Yes. One other thing. I've been up here, friends giving it. And then I think we should get into some bizarre animals from battle. Yeah. Something did come across my desk that, you know, I love conspiracies and aliens, mostly aliens. Yeah. So.

So, you look great. You're beautiful. Please continue. But I read the other day that they found phosphorus in comets. And that means that all of the raw elements for life have now been found in comets. And it's interesting because like it kind of means that all life would need to explode on a planet is that. and then just the right environment, basically. And they have all these planets that they claim are habitable

in habitable zones around different stars and shit. You know, it's just one of those kind of exciting discoveries where I'm like, man, there's no way that we're alone out here in this big vast universe. So I thought that was interesting. So you're saying Hawfers was the last elemental value they needed to find to create life. And they found that. And they're like, oh, as long as all these things collided basically with oxygen.

then. Right. Well, yeah, exactly. Oh, interesting. All the raw elements that make up our atoms and our space dust. What you're saying, Retab, is that aliens are not real, and this is all nonsense, correct? No, at the end of the day, what I'm truly saying is that octopus are certainly aliens. And so are mushrooms. Psychedelic mushrooms. Have you guys seen this thing about the monolith in the Utah desert? And there's been...

There was one in Utah, and then... it was somewhere, do you know what it was Eastern Europe somewhere? I think it was in Romania, Romania. Oh, there was a second one. I didn't hear about the Romania. There's a third one. The third one popped up today. I saw it this morning.

Yeah. I don't remember where, but there's a third one that popped up. And it's just like, what the hell is going on? Well, I mean, dude, so the first one came about. It turned into kind of a viral sensation. And then, like, you know, people started repeating it. I mean, I don't know the stories on the other. It just vanished.

Nobody knows where it went. No, kid. And they're probably in Romania the next day. That's why. It's not, it's bullshit. It's like fucking, uh, crop circles, man. I don't know. I don't know, man.

I, I, I've seen some pretty critical, I don't know. I think it's a little weird. I think it's weird. I just think it's weird. It's weird. Yeah. How did you commute out of Romania overnight? Well, what do I?

What's to say? Who's to say it's the same one? I mean, come on. You tell me both places have metal. Exactly. No. Come on. on. And no one who knows how to weld.

Fucking Ricardo knows what's up, man. Come on. Look, I'm pretty sure. You're the conspiracy theorist. Like, and you're just going to shit on for us. No, because I'm not, no, I'm not, I'm not shitting on him. It's just not, it's not weird enough for me to give a shit. I'm like, okay, it's a metal box. Who the fuck cares?

Like, somebody took a picture of it. I didn't understand the draw to it to begin with. I don't understand the ongoing fascination with it. That's all. I mean, it's a guy who's obsessed. with aliens and all this weird shit is like whatever. It's not a fucking spaceship, dude. It's a box in the middle of the fuck.

All right. All right. Here's how I see this. Peter's an idiot. He would lose in a... Peter would not take a mous on. When it comes to the Darwin Awards. And W.T. Willie said, guys, let's try a new segment.

Wow. I am fresh. Let's try new segments. Let's let Patrick host this segment. And you just come up. Just let for us talk. WT Willie sent us all a group message. He's like,

guys, let's try a new segment, which is the Darwin Awards. I'm like, yeah, you know, like I've heard it. I got no,

amygdala. No, I'm going to die one day. I get it. He's like, no, no, there are people

dumber than you, Forrest, believe it or not. There are videos of idiots doing stupid shit. And so I'm like, all right, let's see some of this.

I made it like eight seconds into the first one. I'm like, I got to save this for the pod. Like, I don't even want to see it. So Will said he's going to pull some up. So Will, why don't you, why don't you load one up?

If you're a brokner on Spotify or iTunes, come check out the YouTube video because we're going to live review a couple videos that Willer is going to pull up here that are candidates for the best Darwin award. So this is the first one, I believe, is an amateur rodeo clown. Now, I haven't seen this full thing, but we'll let's let it rip. Everybody hit the little plus sign on your video so you can make it big and we can watch together. Pat, Forrest. I don't know how to do that. Oh, my God. What was he doing?

So let me describe what's happening here. Please. Oh, fuck me. All right. So for those of you who aren't watching on YouTube, you should be. But that said, there's a guy. It's a rodeo. He looks so cool when he puts his leg up.

So this dude, he's holding a rope that's clearly attached to a bull. You don't see the bottom of the frame. And then he very, in a very cool way, it looks like he's about to start flirting with a chick. He, like, puts his leg up on the fence. He's just starting to chill. And the bull busts through the metal door, which is this giant metal door,

like the size of a, you know, huge metal dumpster. Leg. He's Captain Morganing it. He's doing the Captain Morgan, and this metal door swings open as the bull head butts it and eradicates him from the face of the earth. Yeah. And then the bull kind of just slinks away.

I want to hear what what's going on. Can you turn the audio on, please, W.T. Willie. Yeah. So, and then the bull just slinks out of frame and like nothing happened. Meanwhile, this guy's going to the fucking ICU. Yeah, he died. Well, I'll tell you what. Here's, you think he died from that?

How much fucking PSI do you think a bull has when an open that thing? Okay. Here's the reason that this one resonates with me. Yeah. I could easily see, I could easily see myself doing that. That anyone could have just stood in front of that green thing, not knowing that a bull was about to come through it and kill you. Yeah, but is he not holding?

He's literally got it on a leash. He knows where it is. Right. He knows what's going on. And then he's just like, hello, ladies, he's drunk for sure. I mean, 100%. He's at a few surveys. I can see Patrick doing this because Patrick's one of the coolest guys I know and he's all about throwing a leg up and rocking back and being like, yeah, whatever, you know.

And I could see walking up to that game gate. You know, there's an attractive female rodeo clown hanging out under the fence. You know, she's just wiped some of her makeup off. She looks a little bit like Harley Quinn, you know. He's like, oh, yeah, I like this. I like where we're going. But, dude, I will say men from like, not being the guy who actually handles the animals ever,

but being on many, many shoots, I'm always fucking terrified when a new species is involved, right? So, like, the first time I went to go film Bear on the scout trip, I thought I was literally, like, my head's on a swivel. I'm following. Four days in, I find myself walking through the forest alone at night without a bear guard. You just get complacent in situations when you're around animals

that haven't hurt you yet. It happens really quick. That's what happens to this fuck. Well, let's listen to it. Can you play it with sound? I want to hear the sound. I'm curious to hear what it sounds like.

Here it comes. Perfectly fucking times to smash mouth. There's three of these, right? We're going to review them, and then we're going to pick who is the biggest idiot for the Darwin Award. So, Will, let's line up the next one. What else you got? The title of this one is Florida Man gives himself

of a vasectomy. Oh my God. I'm just, I only see the thumbnail. He's holding a small alligator. Ladies and gentlemen, what we're seeing on the screen right now is a man holding a small alligator. Now, he's wearing pants, right? I'm seeing pants there? Yeah.

He's got jeans on. Yeah, it's got cheap jeans. Oh, boy. No. Oh, wow. Now he's putting his, flicking his finger through the mouth. Yeah. What's happening?

Oh, he's putting his nose, his tongue into the mouth. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Now he's going for the dick. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, he has holes in his dune and his forehead is not bad. Oh, I can't wait. But don't do it. Do it. Do it, you dumb motherfucker. Come on. Yes. I can't watch. Wait, is that his dick tip or is that is his nuts?

It's his nut. It's his. God is not. Oh my God. That's great. Bear trap. By the way, I hope that he got an infection and died because why do you got to fucking subject this animal to this? Get it off. This is so good.

Now they can't get it off. I know. Oh, my God. Dude. Get me off my skin. We just, oh my God, he's sweating. God, he's covered. Jesus.

This is disgusting. God, look at it anymore. You're done. Wait, what did we save up the screen, Will? What is the bite force of an alligator like that? Remember last week's episode, you learned about the strongest bite force of any animal. What was it, Reteb?

Crocodile, with an alligator in second, in second. Yeah. Okay, so that? Yeah. So basically what the guy did was some asshole fucking idiot in a boat. he's got a bunch of guys and girls. They're all drinking. Clearly they're out probably in the swamp in Louisiana, I guess.

I'm guessing. He's covered in sweat. Yeah, that's why I think it's Louisiana. And he's got a baby gator, right? So what would you say? That was about a foot and a half, two feet long probably. They looked about that, yeah. And so he's putting his finger in it.

He puts his nose in the mouth. And then they're all egging him on, the people behind camera. He pulls out his testicle, just one. Just one. And it puts it in the, crock's mouth or sorry the alligator's mouth and it clamps down on his disgusting texticle so pat were you more were you more skeezed out by by the disgusting testicle or the fact that the alligator bit said testicle i just i people getting hit the nuts man i i mean look man

i got i hit the nuts so hard when i was in eighth grade and had never been the same dude like I can't even Yeah. By who? I don't want to remember the name of everybody that's ever bullied you? Who hit you in the nuts? It was a check.

No, it was a dude. I was standing in lunch and he came up and he just gave me one of those nuts slams, but it was like next level like full contact. Dizzy. Smash my fucking nuts. Dude,

I was like, I couldn't believe it. And then I was in lunch. So then I went to class and I was just sitting there just planning. Thinking about killing him. You're. I was so angry. I was like, I'm going to hurt him so bad. And I did. He was a little smaller than me. He was kind of a friend of mine. But he was at his locker. My revenge was he was at his locker. And I just full force came up behind him and just smashed his head into his locker and ripped his forehead open. Well deserved, by the way. But dude, I can't even like nobody can touch my knots, man. Like I know some people, like it's a big.

big sexual thing. Like they want people, you know, you found all the nuts, whatever. Like, it fucked me up. It injured me.

Well, so you're saying that every relationship you've been. No nut contact. No nut contact. Wow. Definitely not putting it

in a gator's mouth. All right, what do we got, Will? What's the third one? Let's see who are, who are our third contestant for the Darwin Award to be.

Man, we got to just do this one night where we just do this. with like a hundred of these videos. Yeah, I'm probably all in the same room. Yeah, for sure.

We got to get back to doing that, I mean, so that alligator, it was, alligators are second in bite force overall of animals in the animal kingdom with crocodiles as first.

That was a baby alligator, but the bite force was still probably, oh, here we got another video, still very high, very high. Yeah. What the hell is this?

What am I seeing? I can't tell what this is. I think a relatively cute chick in a Carolina jury What? What does you hold? She's holding? An iguana.

Oh, it's an iguana. Okay. God. Okay. What is she doing? Getting a picture. She's taking selfies. Oh, my God.

Oh, on her tongue. Was that a tongue? Oh, God, she bit her tongue, and she's bleeding all over the fucking place. Yeah, because what happened was it bit the tongue off, I think. Oh, my, it had to be. Look at all that blood, dude. Oh, okay.

So, okay, so, so she's this segment. This is the worst segment we've ever done. No way, man. The broosters are going to love this. By the way, way, way in broosters. If you like this segment, fucking tell us if you hate it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

It just showed it again. Why would they do that? Are iguanas carnivorous? Would she, would it eat the tongue? Just spit it out. They're omnivorous. They'll eat small things like, insects, pinky mice, things like that.

But overall, they're vegetarian. This is not, but this was a tongue tiff. This was not a hungry iguana. This was an idiot woman who thought that a pissed off iguana was going to laugh. That's the funniest thing for Teps ever. That's the funniest thing you've ever said on the podcast, tongue tips. Oh, God. So what did she do here for us?

Describe what this candidate for the Darwin Awards did? What did she do here? Yeah, so I'm seeing a relatively cute girl in a character. Carolina, Jersey. And she's got this green iguana in her hand, and she holds it up. At first, it looks like she's going to lovingly give it a kiss. And then you realize this is a pissed off green iguana who's gaping at the mouth, angry as can be. She sticks her tongue out at it and walks the iguana onto her tongue, who then proceeds to bite off the end of this chick's tongue. Like, what are you thinking? Yeah. Don't do it. No. And she's hammered. So she's hammered. So just,

blood everywhere. Get off. What? Everywhere. Will that's not take this? This is no good. Get off. Guys, you know what I love about this segment?

Is that the humans, the animals win three to zero in this segment. And that's why I love it. You know, because normally humans are the dicks. The animals are getting everybody. All right. Who you got Darwin Awards? Who wins it?

I've got to go. I've got to go with the alligator. I mean, Gator nuts? Yeah. Gator Nets is the one for me. Retap? Oh, God. I mean, to me, it's clear as day.

The idiot with the, uh, who got her tongue tip bitten off. It's no question. Okay. Patrick? I'm going to, I'm also going to go tongue tips. Uh, as, look, the gator thing is, the gator thing is preposterous. It's beyond comprehension. Um, and so sort of it's like, I almost don't believe that guy's human.

I'm going to go tongue tip. because look, if you lose a nut, you still got another one. True, true. The way that the tongue works, man, if I got my tongue tip bit off and that, those were the taste buds that made me like pizza. And like, I didn't like pizza anymore. I'd have to kill myself. Yeah. Tong tip.

What's yours for us? What was the dumbest then? What are you got? We have an even tie. Obviously, it's not the, it's not the rodeo clown. He just made an honest mistake of being a flirtatious gentleman. But, I'm with Ricardo. What is your purpose in life as a human male?

It is to reproduce, right? You protect the gentleman at all costs. You do not go paying Olympics on your nutsacks. You just don't do that. That is a babymaker right there, and you don't put a gator on him. Second strongest fight force in the world. We learned this last pod. that guy's an idiot

Darwin Award winner two to two first time in history for the Darwin Awards on the Wild Times pod I love it don't think we're going to do it don't think Patrick can handle it

but let us know Brosners leave the comments on iTunes let us know on the YouTube video if you liked this hit us up on Instagram well comment on the YouTube and let us know who you think won the Darwin Award

this time look what do you think by the way that guy obviously then gets brought to the ER, right? This alligator just ate his testicle. He gets brought into the ER because he's bleeding horrifically. He's hoping you can save his nut.

The doctor is now looking at this grisly thing. I mean, look, even if you're a fucking doctor, you see a shredded nut, if you're a male doctor, you're going to puke. Yeah, straight up. And he says to the guy, what happened? Right. And the guy tells him, I would be like, you're wasting my time. Get the fuck out.

Yeah. I'm not treating you. You'd be a terrible doctor. Yeah. You would be a terrible. Your bedside manner, Patrick, would be absolute insanity. Like, like, hold on. I'm so judging.

Hang on. That said, that said, I would say the same about Forrest. I'd be like, you'd be an awful doctor. Yes. But when I had my tum-tum problems in the Galapagos, and I woke Forrest up out of a dead sleep, his bedside manner was so gentle and beautiful. Like, you really, it really was a different version of you. Out of the three of us, who do you think would have the best bedside manner, Ricardo?

Oh, God. Will's not a candidate? No, no Will. You know what, I'm going to go, I'm going to go Patrick. I'll give it a guy with that on. Thank you. Very compassionate. Well, guys, real quick, I just want to tell you something.

Shoot. It's time. For what? Battle Roy. All right, so look, we talk a lot of animals, but this time, everyone's a little more drunk than usual. So I think we're going to mix it up. This is going to be very polarizing, and I don't know if we're all still going to be able to do a podcast together after this. Wow.

Oh, God. Here's what we're going to do. Sounds insane. It's a snake draft. Okay. Okay. Retepel sometime at some point learn how that works. Does it involve animals, snakes, or what is it? No.

No, it involves nostalgia. Ooh, people love nostalgia. It, you are drafting, and the Brewsters are going to vote on who wins, and it's very important that you vote. You are drafting your ultimate team of cereals. Breakfast cereals? Yes. I love this. This is very polarizing.

People are going to get angry. The Easter basket was one of the most well-received Battle Royale on record. I'm still getting messages on Easter basket. I'm still getting messages about this time. You know, I put Bruce Busterer in my Easter basket. I just get one angry message a week. How can you put gushers in your Easter box? You may as well put a sandwich in there.

Go, why are you messaging me about my candy choice? Like, eat one fucking candy. Don't tell you me. People are angry. All right, so here's what we're going to do. We're going to draft our teams. Ricardo will impartially judge who drafted the best team, and then the Brosner's will weigh in.

Who wants to go first? I do. I do. because I got a real heavy year. You got a must have. I know what you're going to do, you motherfucker. And I'll take it because it's lucky charm. We all know.

It's the best record series. Then love me some marshmallows in my... Yeah, zero quest. Lucky charms for the win. Do I even need another series? Also, they have the best spokesman. The spokesman is out of the equation. He's so great with his voice.

This is the worst. He sounds like Rick Astley, the guy who sings never going to give you up. This is hands down the worst battle royale pick in 35 episodes, 34, whatever. This is ridiculous. The base of the cereal. The base of the cereal is made out of oats. It's just got marshmallows in it. Half the cereal is healthy.

What is the matter with you? Carry on. Just please continue. Go next. I can't listen to you any longer. Wait. It's a snake trap. doesn't he have two?

Oh my God. You still don't know? So many times. I'm going to go with the best cereal. I'm going to take it off the board, gentlemen. So fuck you. This is the best cereal in the history of cereals. It's fucking delicious.

And not only, unlike Forrest's pick, this is not half a delicious cereal. This is twice a delicious cereal, 200% delicious cereal. because this cereal is not only delicious in its own right, but it makes the milk a delicious bowl of fucking sugary milk deliciousness. This is cinnamon toast crunch. It's the top fucking cereal. It's a zillion times better than Lucky Charms is like 55 out of 10. Ricardo had a big reaction to cinnamon toast crunch.

What was that about? He's already a CTC guy. Yeah, I was just going to say, CDC is my jam, especially because they go through the effort of making the swirls on the cereal, you know, like up and down, they make them so delicious. Like, they could have gone straight line and said, you know what? Visually. They're visually appealing.

Yeah, we're going sign. If you don't remember that is. If you don't, grab a graph. Absolutely. No, I agree with you. That would have been my number one. CTC is fantastic. I also happen to like Lucky Charms a lot.

No, they're good, but they're not even in the top 10. They're really, really good. My mind's not made up. I'm willing to listen. Yeah, he's open. Okay. All right. Well, I'm going to have to come strong because I, those are both very, very good.

Okay. This is my most frequently eaten cereal as a child. My mom would eat utter trash corn flakes. And then I would probably once a month. She would treat me to a box of sugar cereal. And my most frequently eaten cereal, you got to eat it quick. You got to eat it quick. So don't judge me on the sogginess factor.

So eating it fast, fruity pebbles. Oh, I'm only second. Where to go? Yeah. That's a good. All of three pebbles with some whole milk, get out of here. So much flavor. It's very fruity.

The rainbow-colored milk at the end is very enjoyable. You can't drag your ass, though. You've got to go quick with fruity pebbles. That's a good. That's a real thought. That was straight up my number two pick. Not okay. Good.

I'm glad I didn't get a shit on for that one because some people don't like pretty pebbles. Okay. Now we're getting into some weird territory because I feel like the three obvious. Three obvious ones are gone. Obviously. right up. Fuck, I went fruity, so I can't go fruity. Don't say grape nuts, dude.

Do not say greatness. That was another one. My mom ate. She liked grape nuts and corn flakes. I'm like, do you not enjoy pleasure? I'm the only guy. I love grape nuts. I think they're delicious.

Good God. That's wrong with you. All right. So I got, I got fruity pebbles, so I've got my nice and fruity one. I am going to now go sweet. But see, I'm not somebody who likes to just take a tablespoon of frosting and eat that. If that was a good dessert, you would just eat a tablespoon of frosting in a restaurant. No, I'd like a creme brulee.

I'd like a flan, please, right? Something subtle and nice. You've got to really appreciate. Roll it over the tongue. Frosted flakes. Frosted flakes. Wow. Delicious.

They are good. The milk is great after. Yeah, true. That's my pick. All right, Retail. How is the draft works? Is you're up now? Shut your fucking mouth.

So my next picture. God. I mean, I can't get over Forrest's pick. But my next pick is a delicious cereal. It sounds to me like Doris Deluca was focusing on... Don't say her name. Sorry, Dolores DeLuca was focusing on health

and she's lived very long. Me, in this snake draft, I am not concerned with that because my next pick is going to be world-renowned Captain Crunch. a unique flavor, unique texture. It has only one design flaw, and that is that it cuts the shit out of the roof of your mouth. But other than that, it's just delicious.

It's a unique flavor. Again, the milk at the end is, oh, you can't wait for it. A whole milk mixed with it. It's fucking beautiful. I'm telling you, though, if you like having the roof of your mouth feel like spaghetti squash, that's a good pick. Otherwise, you're fucking masochist, dude. Captain Crunch should be banned.

It's like eating a bowl of glass. A bowl of delicious glass. No, I'm sorry. Just seeing a razor blades. Yeah, it's terrible. Come on. I can't take a guy who pick Lucky Charms is his first pick seriously. Wait, what does Ricardo say?

Lucky Charms, yes or no? I think that plays. I think there's... That's right. Dude, this is an objective point of view. I'm sorry, go on, Ricardo. No, that's... That is my...

I think that's it. Yeah. All right. Forrest is up for two. You better round it out. Strong here. Yeah, 38 weeks in, this is how snake draft works. You'll forget it by next week.

Can I say one thing? Sorry, Forrest, to do this. There's just one pick that if anyone makes, I'm never, ever doing another podcast with you. If anyone picks one cereal. I hope one of us. Yeah. I would actually considering grape nuts until everybody's shit on it.

Now, I'm like, oh, dude. No, no. What do you got? What do you got? strategy, right? I'm going, I'm going one sugary, one chocolatey, because I have fruit. Prudy pebbles are gone. They're off the table. There is no secondary fruity cereal. There is only free pebbles, as far as I'm concerned. So I'm going to go, you know, one sugary, one chocolate, and one relatively healthy. Because real talk, I'm an adult now. I can't eat sugary cereal

every day of the week, but I can eat something that's a treat that's got a little bit of sugar. And it was going to be grape nuts, but I don't think. You've already hit that. but it is cocoa puffs for number two. It's Coca-Buff. It's straight up. It's original. Well, here's the thing. By the time, and here's why I pick Cocoa-Buff.

Because the cocoa puffs, sure, they're okay. They're not great. They're not delicious. They're okay. But when you're done, you have a bowl of chocolate milk to drink. And chocolate milk is delicious. I don't care who you are. I don't care what age you are.

I think chocolate milk. It's good for your bones. You know, when we were kids that was considered health food, we figured out that's not true. I know, right? Terrible for your stomach. Great for your bones. Well, it's not good for you, but when we were kids, it was health food. I don't know if anybody else remembers that.

But yeah, so it's lucky charms, cocoa puffs, and raisin brand. Yep. Good old. What? It's good. It's like a little bit sugary. It's got good fiber. You know, you want to have a nice M to bowl of a reason.

No. Just no, dude. No. I like, I like raisin brand. Like, I want to eat. I want a nice PM. I want things to go cleanly. I'm going to have a nice bowl of raisin brand.

Wait, what were the rules of the competition? It's like metamusal and cereal at the same time. I like that. What are our cereals trying to accomplish the combination of the three? Deliciousness. Who has the best three? The best three. All right.

So what are you got? What's your third flavor profile? Me? What's my third one? That's what I asked. Stop stalling, you utter idiot. He kind of, listen to me, you son. of a bitch. He kind of

took my angle with having something semi-healthy. But it's, I'm changing it now because I'm angry. And I was going to pick frosted mini-weets, but just because I hate you two,

I'm going with shredded wheat. I wouldn't eat shredded wheat. Mike drop. Mike. For months and they were like, this is the last thing in Ethiopia. In the country of Ethiopia, where people are no longer starving, but we're at one time, would you like a ball of shredded weeds? Then local Ethiopians would be like, no, thank you. I'd rather have a single grain of rice again today. Drop. Yeah, nothing else needs to be said

for us. Just covered it. That's by far the worst pick. And you've lost. Ricardo, quick way in on shredded wheat. I threw it. I mean, I don't know if there's an exit or disqualification button, but that presses it pretty hard. Yeah, that's her. I can't. One of you, brought this guy on the pod Frosted mini-weets. Those are, that was a great second choice. You had it.

You had a bail. I had a bail. I just couldn't, I couldn't withstand all of this. I won the last one. I figured I had to throw a fucking wrenching. I don't want to win every battle roy. All right.

For my last pick, which is going to win it, I think. So I had fruity pebbles. I had frosted flakes. So I got a couple nice flavors there. So I'm going to kind of combine the two. Sugary sweet and fruity.

You guys are all aware of like Count Chocula, you know, the monster cereals, right? There's Count Chocula, there's Booberry. But there's a little known cereal, a little known cereal that was discontinued in the 80s. Will, if you could pull up a picture here of my cereal box, I would really appreciate it. It's a cereal called, well, don't do that. Called Fruit, brute. Fruit, fruit? Yeah.

Oh, wow. Did you text him to prepare him? He had that so fast. I did, yes. So fruit brute was a wolf who was a brute, and it was fruity. And so what this is is a cereal that was essentially like a delicious fruit loop, but with marshmallows in it. So we're combining Lucky Charms and fruit loops.

I don't know why they discontinued fruit brute. I'll throw in, if I had a hat, I'd take it off and throw out across the room. I'm like, I'll throw in, you win. If I can get that fruit, if somebody was standing in front of me, like, hey, it's the 80s. Would you like a bowl of fruit fruit or some quailudes? I'd be like, oh, let me try that fruit fruit. Let me try the fruit fruit. Well, dude, it's funny.

Yeah. I just pulled it up on eBay. Yeah. I wanted to see if there was, if I could get a box of fruit brute, there's one for sale on eBay for $4,500. What? What? The way ludes. What in the wrong business, man?

man. Yeah. So anyway. Listen, fruit bruce it wins it. Hands down. I mean, it's a generic cereal that nobody's ever heard of. The cartoon on the front is amazing. If you're not watching the YouTube video, you have to see this hungry-ass wolf with a very long fingernail, enjoying a spoonful of what looks like Lucky Charms. By the way, like you can see it.

That's like a little bump nail that he's got there. It is. It's a Coke now. Yeah, it is. So Elon Musk, I know he's one of a little. our brosuners. If you're listening and you want to send a Christmas gift, I will take this $5,000 box of fruit brute, please. Oh, guys. The only thing that really sets this apart even more than anything else is, I don't know if you should have to see this, but inside you get a free glow in the dark light switch

sticker. You get to eat, you get to like cocaine wolf cereal plus you get to go in the dark sticker. I mean, it's fantastic. That's amazing. I'm going to see them. Well, guys, it's a great. We didn't talk about it, but the merch is out. We've been getting, I've been getting, I don't know about Retev and Padra. I've been getting bonkers amounts of people just stoked on their merch.

Everybody loves the wild time. Tons of people wrapping up their year on Spotify saying it's their most listened to thing, which is incredible. I mean, thank you all Brosner. Thank you so much. Yeah. Huge. Yeah.

Retev, where can the people find us? If this is your first time listening, where can you get merch, where can you follow us online? What's the story? Yeah. You can find us the Wild Times Podcast. com. The Wild Times Podcast. com forward slash merch.

You can find the merch. Same address forward slash info to find all the links to where you can listen or watch. We're on YouTube, Spotify, Podbean, Apple, iTunes, all that good shit. Want to give just a quick shout out to at nature, you cruel, beautiful bitch. That's name? That's someone's handle? It's the longest Instagram handle I've ever even seen. seen he yeah he hit me up he was on the last premiere uh when we dropped the podcast on mondays a lot

of times we drop them at midnight pst and we're there to chat with you he was there last time hitting us up talking to us and then he went through a couple of the last episodes of the podcast and bookmarked them with links to all the shit we talked about clickable links in the description that's awesome and links to the fucking articles what we talked about and what's in the news so shout out man nature, you cruel, beautiful bitch. You are a beautiful bitch. Ricardo. Ricardo, thanks, man.

Hey, and by the way, this, you know, we're all sick of this bullshit. COVID, not, you know, first of all, it sucks for everybody. Everyone's fucking hating it. And I'm hating not being able to do this in the same room. But it does look like good news is on the horizon. Vaccines, I know two people that work in hospitals. They have them there. they're in the computers.

Nice. So, you know, it's pretty awesome. I think very soon we'll be in our studio together recording, recording live from hot tubs, things like that. And lots more video content that will be released on our YouTube channel. Absolutely. All right. Fuck off for us. Thank you, Ricardo.

Fuck all of you. Love you, Brosners. Thanks, everybody. Thank you, Ricardo. Bye.