Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #37 - Panda Poop Parties, Turkey Man Joe Hutto, Ant Formic Acid Anomoly

Episode Date: December 21, 2020

Recorded live! Everything in the title plus Darwin awards and everyone's favorite, battle royale! We love you!

Nice. We're in. Wild times. Guys, how have you been since what is about 41 minutes ago when I last zoomed with you? Is everything okay between then and now? Couldn't be better, mate. Could not. Are you in a better mood now, Peter?

Dude, I'm always in a great mood. Sometimes you have to lay down the lawn when you're dealing with fucking pricks. Yeah, you were a little sulky. You were a little salty. You were sulky. I'm not sulky. I'm always fucking up. All right.

If you are joining us for the first time, the sulky. guy who looks like he got kicked out of the sons of anarchy is Retep. He is the bro, the, uh, what are you, brofessor? That's right, with a false PhD. Uh, yes, sir. But below him, Mr. Patrick DeLuca, the broducer and myself, your host, the broologist, would like to welcome you to our maybe fourth live show ever. Thanks for tuning in.

It's lots of fun. If you're not watching it live, you can go and check it out on YouTube later. It should be fun. And if not, you're listening on iTunes, something like that. Thank you for that as well. Retepp usually explains all that. I don't really know where to watch any of it. What's up, guys?

Hey, look, my friend. I like what's going on right now. We've got a lot of the regular, the usual suspects, Daniel Kuhl, Jason Abbs, Dr. Haina, real Alaska fishing charters. Don't forget Jenna Favre. Jenna Metri Fabor is joining us again. Yeah, we got Axel.

We got someone named Axel Bankston, 3.30 in the morning, wherever he is. Jesus. Noel. Well, celibos. I like it. It's in the Christmas. So, wait, I want to do something.

This is important. Okay? Yeah. Since we last zoomed about an hour or so ago, something has blown my mind. It is blown my mind. Patrick, you're not going to believe this. Retepperi knows it.

Will. W.T. Willie, would you join us on screen for a second? Gentlemen, how goes it? All right. I don't know if I've ever been on the live before. I don't think only in text form. I think. Okay.

Well, Will is joining us right now. Now, Patrick, look at Will. He's a handsome fellow, wouldn't you say? Yeah. He's a good-looking guy. He's got a, you know, very generic haircut under that hat, wouldn't you think? Yeah. Will, why don't you go ahead and pop that lid off and show the people what you're working with under there?

Pretty normal looking. Is it though? Let's do a little profile going there. Wait for it. Wait for it. He's got a long hair. He's got a longer hair. than I do. Can you believe that? I had no idea. I've never seen him without a hat. I've never seen without a hat either. This was a

he's he logged on like Edward Cisorman. He logged on a couple minutes before you and he had a manned on it. I thought it was fake. That's real. Oh yeah. I'm not wearing pat pat. I can't wear a hat today. That's it. Yeah. No. Daniel Cool says Will is a solid 12 out of 10, dude. No homo. Boys. Yeah, that's real. That's a good point. Party in the back. So people are asking what we're drinking if the drinking game's going to happen. All right.

Let's get into what we got. You look beautiful. I'm drinking a delightful concoction introduced to me by one of my closest lady friends, KFab. Patrick, you know her. Kristen. It is a lime, lacroix and tequila mix. Very simple. Oh, boy.

It's really nice. Tequila is aggressive, man. I love tequila. It's an upper. Exactly. Nobody ever has a bad time drinking tequila. What do you guys drink? That is farthest thing from the truth.

Tito's vodka and blood orange soda. It's so good that I'm worried. I'm going to drink it too fast. Retap? Let me know. I got a little just wine apotheque red blend, $10 a bottle at your local grocery store, and three tall boy modella is my standard live recording.

Very nice. sense shenanigans. Very nice. Very nice. Will's getting some love on the YouTube live. Rickus says, says Will is a whole snack. Oh, man, that's good. Will looks like the Joker in the Dark Night before he went crazy. Please keep these coming, Brosners.

If you are following along live, please, please send us more of your comments on WT. Willie. He's the man behind the camera. He doesn't get his face shown very often, and now you've why based on that haircut. So yeah, it's good to hear that the people love him. But this is fun. You know, thanks to you guys, thanks to all the brosters. We're doing more lives. You guys love signing on, engaging with it. You know, it's a lot of fun to have you here. Love answering your questions. So yeah, I think we'll keep doing lives here and there. So thanks for. Yeah, but hey, real quick, before we get into our first wild times type of topic here, I think we have a big announcement to make starting next week.

week. I love, I love announcements. I don't know anything about. What is it? What are you talking about? Well, starting next week on Monday, which is, I don't know, whatever date Monday is, the 21st. So starting Monday the 21st, we will not just have our weekly podcast. Oh, yeah. We're going to have daily content. That's right. New. It's not just clips of the podcast. New content every day on the Wild Times podcast, YouTube, where we just, do like really silly shit. But like everyone's favorite stuff from the podcast, people fucking love when we talk about, could five hyenas be five wolves? So we will have a new clip that's not in the podcast

every day of the week, Monday through Friday, moving forward. On YouTube. That's right. Only on YouTube. So for those of you who are listening, and there are thousands of you who haven't subscribed to the YouTube, go to the YouTube.

Go to the YouTube. Here a little five, ten minute clips every day. Just get a little fix. That's right. Yeah. That'll be good. That will be good. Well, guys, I say we get into it.

Let's do it. But before we get into the what's in the news, a couple pretty fun Brosner shoutouts. All right. So I think my favorite one is Ice Freak in Tee found the Frog Tat. Yep, sent us a message. Remember the Frog tat on the knees? W.T. Willie can pull up the Frog tat one more time.

Who could make his frog, the frogs rib it by flexing his knees? Yeah, his knees could rivet. It was incredible. Well, this was, I mean, how mysterious was this freaking tattoo? It was like, who the hell knows where that has come from? Well, iced freaking tea found it, sent it to us, and found the FrogTac guy, which I think was incredible. Just the fact that someone listened to the show was like, all right, I'm going to go on this mission. I'm going to figure out who this guy with this tattoo is and found it and sent it our way.

Wait, so this is, hang on. So what's this link in the show doc? Is this actually the dude, Inc of King? Yeah, you click that and then it takes you to Brent something or other, and he's the guy. Wait, so where does Brent live? Because we were talking about, we were profiling him. We were. Most of us thought he lived in Portland.

Where does he live? I'm dying. I don't know. I used freaking tea. Let us know. Figure it out. Where does this guy live? What's his story?

Why does he have frogs on his knees? These are the questions. These are. It looks like Barcelona. Barcelona, potentially. Or that's where the tattoo parlor or the artist that posted this, that's where the Instagram is from.

I can see it. Retef, you're getting a ton of love on the YouTube live right now. So Adi asked, he's like, I might be missing something here. Why does Retepe get bullied so much? I love it, though. Yeah. Because I'm the best looking and most entertaining.

People are saying because he can take it. He's just the easiest victim. Then Miguel Brito says, we don't deserve her tip. He's too good for us. Oh, this melts my phone in heart. That's nice. You guys are wonderful. Yeah.

Forrest, another Brostner, Professor Chippichanga sent us a video of Kruger National Park, which is in South Africa or Kenya? It's in South Africa. It's a rare occurrence. It is a video that's been captured of a hippo fighting a rhino. This is the type of shit that our fucking audience lives for. True. Too true. WT, you got to pull this up.

I watched this video when it circulated like a few days ago. It's awesome. And we'll break it down when Will pulls it up. You're right. We actually talked about this. We voted on this. So might we have an opportunity here to see who it would actually win in real life? Well, I wouldn't say it's completely conclusive.

But my favorite part of the video is, the fact that both animals are using their tools. And what I mean by that is the hippo is totally opening his mouth, being aggressive, showing his tusks. The rhino is like, yeah, look, guy. Like, I get it. You're the chubby guy at the bar who's trying to, you know, flex. I could kill you in a heartbeat if I wanted to. And I'm not going to. I'm going to just keep grazing over here, you know, maybe pay you a little bit of attention and then go back to my thing. I mean, he's just like, he does nothing. And then the hippo actually chases him off, which is pretty funny. And then eventually a bunch more rhinos gang up on him. It's quite a video.

That is a big hippo boy. Yeah. That is a big. They're terrifying. He's well fed. Here we go. I'm talking about Retep. Yeah. Oh my God. Bro. The jaws on that. It's as big as the rhino's head. Yeah. It's not a. I got a good. Holy shit. I mean, that. rhino's horn, that thing is a saber, dude. It looks like a samurai sword. Yeah. If that hippo chomp down on the rhino, that tusk would go straight through the roof of his mouth. Yeah. By the way, Austin, Thorneberg is asking, Forrest, did you ever have any encounters with hippos in Zimbabwe?

Must not have heard the two stories where you were almost killed by hippos in Zimbabwe. Yeah, one or two. Who was asking that? Autumn. Yeah, Autumn, I have had some, it is the animal that I am the most scared of, period. Like, all jokes aside, they are the most terrifying. And this video actually kind of depicts why. Like, they're curious and super aggressive. And you see that here. And they're scared of nothing.

You know, he's challenging a rhino. And I've had two terribly close encounters with hippos. One where one flipped over my canoe came very, very close to getting us. And another one where one came out of a shallow pan and charged us. mouth open, just like you see in this video, felt the heat of its breath on my face and chest before I dove out of the way behind a termite mound is how close he got. So, yeah, hippos are terrifying. They are, you know, they kill more people in Africa than almost any other terrestrial animals.

So they do some damage. Yeah, isn't it? It's true that hippos basically are one of the top human predators out of animals that kill humans in like the top five, top ten, aren't they, Forrest? Like more than sharks? Yes. Oh, yeah, way more. Not predators. That's the wrong word. But yes, they kill more people than, I think they're second or third total of land animals in Southern Africa. So, yeah, they do a lot of work. And they're very, very dangerous. They're very aggressive. They come out of the water at night like you're seeing here. Typically, they're less aggressive at night.

They're more aggressive when they're in the... Well, that's not true. They're most aggressive when they kind of fully submerged themselves. But they feel more confident in water so they'll approach you more. But they're scary. Yeah. I mean. And when I was a kid. Dude,

the Rido finally fucked up that hippo. Yeah, he finally gave him what for. When I was a kid, like age 14, like, you know, teenager full of testosterone and all that kind of stuff, we used to go to Lake Carriva in Zimbabwe and we'd stay at the fish camp there and the hippos would come out and graze on the grass at night. And this was like a big concrete building with metal bars. out and smack them because they weren't far. They were like 15 feet from the door.

So you used to run out, smack them on the butt and run back and close yourself in the bars. And they would come full force like opening their mouths, turning, getting all gnarly. And that was like it was like the ostrich egg thing. It was like one of those marks of being, you know, a cool 14 year old in Zabwe. And how none of us died, I have no idea. Well, I do got to say from that video, I believe I was the only one that picked Rino. Rhino clearly won that fight. Again, Retep wins.

You were the only one he picked Hippo. No, it's not true. Completely false. I think you might have been thinking, Rhino, but then you had caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and just said the word of it. If Will had the ability to play something back from a previous episode, I'd ask him to right now,

but that's too much. Oh, that's funny. Hey, this is, while we're on the hippo thing, this is actually an interesting question on the YouTube live from Craig Gass. Yeah. He says, and I kind of wondering, this too, the five-year-old version of me is wondering this.

Could a hippo snap a man in half with a single bite? Look, if a hippo bit somehow got you around the waist, could it bite you clean in half and then snap down? So that is a good question. The short answer is yes. Like the jaw pressure is enough so that it could do that. But that's not how its tooth morphology works, right? They have those big, big kind of canines that you can see.

And those would just stab right through you. and kind of impale you and then, you know, it would open its mouth again. So you wouldn't just go through and you'd snap into two if it had, you know, say the mouth of a shark or the mouth of a crocodile or something like that, without a doubt. You know, jaws like that with interlocking teeth would cut you right in two. But that's just not how hippo tooth structure is because they don't, they're, they're not predators. They are herbivores. They eat grass. And so their, their canine, their teeth are not developed for that kind of biting and crunching.

So it wouldn't, in theory, yes, it totally has the power to. It's got jaws strong enough to. It just doesn't have the right dental work to do that. Interesting. I mean, yeah. So, Forrest, you've got a desk made out of fine Beobab tree. I was with you when you salvaged it. It had already fallen.

You did not cut a tree down. What came across your fine Beobab desk this week? What's your number one? I enjoy how to change. everybody just FYI. Cheers me. By the way, it is Friday night. I have to assume all of them are doing. I think Forrest posted the drinking game in the chat, if you guys want to follow the wrong.

There's a link somewhere up there. Thought it was important. Follow wrong. Drink responsibly. Right. But, you know, get hammered, have fun. Or don't. You know, whatever.

My favorite thing that I saw this week. Oh, okay. I know what my favorite thing that I saw this week was. So you remember, you know, remember the bear guy? the guy who lived with the bears and like everybody, you know, would tune in and watch him. And then sure enough, he got, you got ice by bears? You're talking about? Yeah.

Yeah. I remember grizzly man? Uh-huh. He was the thing, right? Grizzly man started a trend, right? All the, you know, Jane Goodall lived, I mean, she was before him, but she lived with gorillas. There's the guy in South Africa who hugs the lions, you know, like, there's all these

guys, right? And they, guys and girls, they obsess over these animals and they start living with them. You're like, okay, like, as a massive, passionate animal lover, I get it. Like I get the appeal of doing that. Is it a good idea? No. Is it awesome? Totally.

So you can imagine my shock when I found out this week that wildlife artists and researcher Joe Hutton, who lives in North America, decided to live as? Yes. Take a stab. Pat go. You go first. I'm going to say he decided to live as a kangaroo in Australia. Okay. It's a good guess.

Hippo in Australia. Okay. You have hippos on the brain, sir. He decided to live as a turkey. He raised 16 turkeys from birth and spent 100% of his time trying to communicate with them, exploring with them, living amongst them on his own property at his own expense. He studied their communication. He tried to, in his words, get inside the mind of a wild turkey.

Now, if you've ever seen a wild turkey pecking at a duck, dumpster. You know there's not much to get inside. Look at that photo. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. I just thought this was insane. And my favorite part of the whole thing was a quote from his, I'm going to see if I can pull it up quickly.

He said, over time, I got better at making those sounds myself, modulating my voice to reproduce the nuances as best I could. After six months, I no longer felt like a bad singer in the choir, though occasionally I'd miss call and get a very different reaction from one, from the one I'd anticipated. I sometimes felt acute embarrassment at how I must appear to them. My aim was to become indistinguishable from the rest of the flock. And this is my favorite part of the quote. But I felt they saw me as the village idiot.

Yes, sir. They did. You don't look like whatever. Wait, that's him. Yeah. So that's him. That's great. Yeah, that's the guy who lived as a turkey.

He was like nuzzling them, pecking on the ground. Just turkey man. Not grizzly man. You know, not lying guy. Just turkey man. Yeah. And I thought that was just. outstandingly funny. I wonder, does it talk about, does anybody know what his motivation was?

I'm sure it's in this video somewhere, but it's a long video. But imagine he must have just really, did you think he just really liked eating turkeys? You think he's ever eating a turkey? And then he felt bad and he was like, I want to see what goes through the minds of these turkeys. I don't know. I think he just said that he wanted to try and kind of communicate with them. I know he raised a bunch of them. It's kind of sweet, all things considered. Like you see his face. it's like six inches from the baby turkeys, whatever. But it's just such a weird thing to pick. It's also not to mention like I kind of think of a worst group of animals to try and get inside

the mind of, like, except for maybe insects. Like we're so far removed from birds. You know what I mean? On the evolutionary tree. It's like, it's like I'm trying to be a grasshopper. It's like, no, sir, you're not. Like, you know, I get doing it with mammals. Like I even understand doing it with cetaceans, marine mammals, because of their size of their

brain. Turkey that has, you know, brain the size of a pea, that's a bird that's like so far removed from us on the evolutionary tree. It's, I don't know. It's just like, even doing it with a parrot makes more sense because they can like communicate. They can talk. There's like, there's some, there's some like understanding of intelligence there. A turkey just kind of looks at you with these, like, blind, these like dead eyes. If you, what do you do? If you had the opportunity to do this with one animal, what animal would it be for us for you? Oops, sorry. If I had the opportunity to live with an animal and get inside its mind, it would be orcas, for sure. Yeah, here's the thing.

And a lot of people don't know this, right? Everybody thinks dolphins are so smart, right? You've probably heard like dolphins are insanely intelligent, blah, blah, blah. Common understanding of science is that dolphins are about as intelligent as pigs. Now, pigs are pretty intelligent. I have two of them. They're great. I wouldn't say I'm in the minds of them, but I totally understand what they want and need.

Orcas, however, are so complex that even though linguists have studied their communication and figured out things like they have different accents, they have different, vocalizations for different pods. We understand so little about their language, because it's not linear like ours. Like a word doesn't mean anything. A series of clicks or a series of pops, etc., communicate something in unison with body language,

in unison with sonar, etc. So there's just so much we don't understand about orcas. But what we do understand is that they're like insanely intelligent. They have these crazy social dynamics. So I think if I had the ability to get inside the mind of orcas, I think that would crack some kind of Da Vinci code as far as like wildlife communication goes and it would allow people to really understand like the emotional depths and lengths of these incredible creatures and, you know, probably care about them a little more.

Interesting. Interesting. I think if it was me, I'm not going to go into as much detail, but I would for sure, for sure go with elephants, with an Asian elephant. Yeah. They're just, I mean, when you're really close to one and they look you in the eye, you're like, man, you know so much shit. Like, I feel like they're very emotionally in touch with themselves. Yeah.

And like the world. A lot of emotion in the eyes. I don't know, man. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Wise. Straight up. So the guy that trained me in the bush, Stretch Ferreira, the guy who ran our safari business,

he had an incredible emotional connection to the elephants and monopools. I mean, he knew them all by name. He could walk on foot right up to them. He knew which ones to stay away from. He knew which ones he could get so close to. he could put his hand out and they'd stop right in front of him. He knew which ones would mock charge him and stop like three, four feet in front of him. I mean, incredible, incredible stuff.

And that was, it was a little bit of that. But he was, you know, a true safari guide. So he would look for lions and look for Eeland and et cetera, et cetera. But he had an understanding of the elephants. It was incredible. I think I've said this before on the podcast. You know, like, when you look like your dog or you spend too much time around animals, Stretch was like an old grumpy bull elephant.

He was six foot eight. That's why he had the nickname Stretch. It was huge dude. Yeah. And he was just the grumpiest, crankiest guy in the world. But he was also the sweetest, nicest person ever, just like a big bull elephant. So I get it. I get the fascination.

I love elephants. Those are African elephants, but still. Reteb, what would yours be? Some of the brosters have suggested pigs because I'm so close in physical appearance to pigs. One brosters suggested herpes. I like, I like Matt McHugh says I'd like to get inside the mind of a huge. human female. That would be my choice. Shit, what would mine be? I mean, again, I'm just going to have to go ahead and say hippos.

You know, that's it. He's got hippos on his mind big time. I love him. Boy, you have one thing on the brain. Fascinating. You're singularly focused tonight. No logic behind it. Just, you know, easy answer. I'm tipsy. Herpes, really, though, honestly, because, you know. But you, I mean, I feel like you getting inside the mind of a hippo is a very, you know, very short stretch. Like it's very, we already made that joke with the pigs for it. No, you're, you're big, you're angry, you're loud. You spend most of your time wallowing. You know, mostly in self-pity as opposed to water, but I'll tell you for you should have known the professor 10 years ago. Oh boy. Why? I mean, it was like, it was literally like getting,

like getting drunk with this guy would be the equivalent of just like getting hammer drunk with like a trained polar bear. Like, you did not know what you were going to get. Like, just ready to kill. Pat, before you went to anger management classes, you regularly attempted to punch me in the face and kicked me out of your domicile when we were hanging out.

So, you know, whether it's me or you who sparked it, we've both got issues. Irrelevant. Today, we're fucking happily together and doing this shit. We're happily married. I was going to say to Matt McHugh, who is airing his grievances with human females on YouTube live, I got a tip for you, man.

There's a great book. There's a great book called The Naked Ape. It's by Desmond Morris, who is, I believe, the father of evolutionary psychology, right? So it really breaks down human psychology from the standpoint of how did we evolve. And, oh, man, you should read that. Because it gives you so much insight, man.

Let me just say, Siegfried and Roy didn't just figure out how to make the tigers behave. They learned everything there was to know about the creature that was the tiger. Okay. And how it evolved and what it wanted and what it did. Okay. Leave the naked ape. There is a lot of tidbits that will help you in your lady and man relationships. Well, so are you saying this is kind of like a guide as to how you've lived your life?

because I'm very interested in this, if that's true. I'll be reading it tonight. What I would say is that it was just, it was incredible. So it's like a paperback. It's like very easy reading. And he breaks down the evolution, basically the very simple moment where essentially a group of apes left the jungle. And all of a sudden they were faced with this huge new set of challenges because instead

of the female, you know, basically a male would inseminate, the female would have the baby, the baby would never know who its father was, plentiful fruit, no predators in the jungle. The jungles get overpopulated, some of the apes leave, and now they're in the plains, where there are all sorts of predators, they have to create dens, and the only offspring that would survive were ones where the male would help provide food and protection. And that is the beginning of human evolution, and so many of the things about us as we are, it's where monogamy is created, right? the female vagina moves from the back towards the front. Earlobes grow nerve endings, lips grow nerve endings.

Female broosters, could you weigh in on that? I've never seen. Yeah. What? Never seen what? The vagina comment, I'm just wondering if that's true. What I'm saying is it's a fascinating book and there's a ton of insight into just the origin of who we are, what we want, what our desires are, and what our evolved traits, which is sort of the part of the iceberg that's underneath the water, right?

Is the stuff we can't control. And then this little part is the part where it's like society, Instagram, you know, what I watched on TV. But there's this huge thing that's just like... Pop culture. Millions of years of evolution. And that's ultimately what we want and how we're going to behave. So, I don't know.

It's helped me. Great name for a book, too. It piques my interest just by the name, the naked ape. I love it. Yeah. If you search that, Retap, on Pornhub, you're not going to be pleased. I know where your mind is going already. So, hey, tell me, look, I had a couple other interesting things.

But Retap, what came across your fold-out plastic desk? I have a beautiful standing desk that I put together myself. Take a drink, everybody, while I look at the show doc to see exactly what did come across my desk. So, I love this one. Have you guys seen the story about the ants that have been observed using their own formic acid as disinfectant? No. That's right. Oh, no.

I actually haven't. Yeah. So they thought, they used to think that this acid would use to ward off predators, but they discovered professors at Beirut University recently observed that they use it also to disinfectants. themselves on the outside and they ingest it to kill harmful bacteria in their diet. It's pretty crazy. Like, imagine animals have some of the most fascinating abilities, you know, like we have our big brains and shit as humans. And that's all we have, by the way.

Yeah, exactly. That's literally all we have. Well, we also do have the ability, if we really put our minds to it, to basically run down an animal for several days, just chasing it until it runs out of energy, right? those are like the yeah we can circle back to that but yeah let's talk about the answer it's super interesting i i'm i've pulled it up right now i did not see this headline it's fantastic preventing ant covid says ben staff but i mean imagine if we could just like you know our sweat protected us from covid or some shit why would something like something so specific

basically come to fruition through evolution right i mean it's like such a very specific thing Well, again, evolution is a derivative of necessity. So ants pass food from their mouth to the mouths of their nestmates, right? They have a big colony, the big nest with hundreds of thousands of ants in them. And they will pass food. You know, you've seen it with leaf cutter ants and things like that where they go one to the next to the next to the next. So if you're passing food, like imagine if you just went into L.A., I believe the COVID rate right now is one in 80, right?

Yep. And you started passing, you know, Snickers bars between mouths downtown. No hands, no, nothing. You just literally mouth to mouthing a Snickers bar. You know, it's going to take 80 fucking goes until everybody has COVID. Yeah. And so, you know, these ants have created this major, well, they have this major potential source of infection.

And so they've created this way to eliminate that by coming up with, you know, this incredible disinfectant to kill harmful bacteria so that they can successfully move things through their mouth. I mean, you know, to put it in layman's terms, It's no different to us with our big brains going, oh, every time we touch someone else's hands, we have the potential to pass on harmful bacteria. Let's make curell squirt, squirt, and then it doesn't matter what I touch. And it's amazing that evolution in these ants actually did that without them creating anything.

Right, right. Whereas we have to use all the resources available to us and our big brains to create disinfectant in plastic bottles and distribute it around the world. Well, it's also funny because, like, you know, what's probably the creature that you've killed the most of just accidentally in your life just by stepping on them on the sidewalk? You don't think twice about it. And then you're like, God, they're so complicated these ants. Yeah. They are.

And they feel guilty every time. It's nuts. Yeah, it's totally nuts. Well, that's a good one, Rattap. I had not seen that one. I like to go way down in the list because I know you guys have the reading, the attention span of ants. That's true. That's a very accurate.

That's a very good point. So Papa P, what you got? Oh, man. Look, there's a lot going on in the wildlife world in nature. But I thought this was the most important thing. Like, what's going to be the thing that's going to change our understanding of science and nature? Wow. Panda bears.

Panda bears. Okay. They have poop parties where they gather together and cover themselves in manure. But not their own shit. The shit of horses. That's right. Excellent. So this is very strange.

So it's only recently been documented. They believe it's a body-worn strategy, as they've been observed, having poop parties more frequently in cold temperatures. Okay. But they were being filmed. And, you know, with trail cameras, 38 pandas in the kindling mountains of China were literally getting together and smearing themselves in horse shit, like on a ranch, I would assume. and just like smear themselves and shit and then like sitting around just kind of hanging out. Yeah. And this is this is on tape.

I mean, so it sounds like this is something that must be pulled up if this is real. Well, I believe it is real. No, it's definitely real. It is real. It was purported in life science and a couple other places. But what a wild, what a wild thing. Like that has to be a learned, that's a learned behavior, I would think. For sure.

I imagine that's instant. Absolutely. Absolutely. So, you know, and it makes sense the whole, the whole fact that... Oh, there's one covered in shit right there. Nice one. Oh, is that a brown bear? Dude, that's a panda bear.

Sure is. I thought it was a brown bear when I first saw it. Yeah. So, and you guys probably know this, but, you know, rotting vegetation creates heat, right? So shit, panda bear or horse shit is just rotting vegetation, right? That's all it is. It's compressed rotting vegetation. So putting that on yourself, there's going to be trace amounts of heat that are actually let out by that, by the fermentation of the vegetables that are in the poop.

So it kind of makes sense. It's a good hypothesis. I don't know if that's the reason, but it's a good hypothesis. Let me ask you this. So obviously we detest shit from animals. We avoid it like the plague. We don't want it near us because it causes diseases. We're obviously, you know, we've learned that if we're rolling in shit, we're going to get sick or something.

You know, we can't eat our own shit. We can't eat animal shit. Does this affect other animals? Are these bears? Could they get sick from this? Unlikely. I mean, if they were smearing themselves in some kind of carnivore shit, totally. But, you know, one thing that we, we, there's a misconception.

You guys know me and my fucking poop fascination, right? Because poop's so helpful for tracking. There's a misconception about poop. If you are, if you are encountering pure herbivore poop, I mean, elephant poop, antelope poop, horse poop, it is pretty much harmless. Interesting. All it is is masticated grass and leaves. That's all it is.

In fact, one thing that we do in Zimbabwe quite a lot is when we bring someone that's never been to Zimbabwe before, we make them smoke elephant poop. So you find dry it out elephant poop, roll it into a fat cigar and you smoke it. And it's kind of like a bitter cigar. It's pretty fun. It doesn't do anything, but it's fun. Okay. I'll make you do it when I can't wait.

I'd like to go to Africa. I'd like to do it. It's great. States side, please. It's, okay, sure. Let me go grab some of the shit for it. But my point is just that there's really nothing in herbivore shit like that that can do any damage to you. I mean, you know, that's why you never hear of people contracting zoonotic diseases cleaning out stables, right?

That's not where it comes from. It comes from carnivore poop because, you know, that's where there's lots of parasites and bacteria. Yeah. And you mix that with all the other body fluids, et cetera. So, yeah, no, really there's, I've rubbed myself in shit a couple different times, you know. in buffalo shit, in hippo shit, to mask your scent. So if you're tracking and you're upwind, sorry, downwind and you're tracking, you got to cover your scent up, you know, and a couple different times I picked up big

old wet elephant poops covered myself in the whole thing and continued down the line. So it's a very, it's a very effective method, you know, if you're tracking something with good smell. Hey, yeah. Brosner Ali Taggart says, that poop party sounds like 90% on my nights out. Wow. He gets it. So he gets it. Like I've never, have you guys ever gone out in the UK?

Like, yeah, been to London or? Oh, it's outrageous. I've never, I just sort of assumed that if I went out for like a night out at a pub in London, that I'm going to get stuck out. That's just my, my thought. I don't know. I just feel like everyone's fighting over like a Southwark. I mean, you definitely would because you're, that's what I was thinking. You're like this smug American prick from L.A.

that everybody hates around the world. I mean, globally. Your jeans are just so tight. Brozner's way in. But I've been out, dude. And I was out in London. I went there in 2015 with my brother and the girl I was with at the time. And we went out fucking partying.

And dude, they were, it was real. It was real fun, man. Everybody was just partying, having a great time. Listening to like classic rock and shit at like clubs at this club we were at. But like, you know. Here's the other thing too. So I have a lot of family in London. I used to fly back and forth for a talk show,

late night talk show that I did there for a while. I've been out in London a lot. And I'm going to upset a lot of Brosners right now. There is not one Brosner listening to this that can out drink a Londoner straight up. Not any of us, not any Brosner listening. Because they don't drink like we drink. They don't drink like, you know, we have a social drink on the pod once a week. Patrick, you're a raging alcoholic, so you drink more.

But no, I'm just kidding. But, you know, like, they have four beers with lunch. three tea time beers, seven gin and tonics with dinner, and then a nightcap. Like, that's everybody in London is just insane. And so they're like, yeah, you want to have some drinks? And I'm like, yeah, you know, whatever you have, I'll have. And then I'm four drinks in, slurring my words and drooling on the table. And they're about to order appetizers.

And it's just like, oh, my God. That's insane. I mean, if they were going up against college retap, I could drink pretty much anybody under the table. but if you're doing that daily, you can drink quite a bit. All right, all right, all right. Story time. Let me lay it out. Let me lay it out for you.

I didn't even want to tell the story, but I'm going to tell you this story. Exclusive. I've got an uncle that lives in London, right? He's, I love my uncle. His name's Jeremy, and he's gay, and he's got this partner named Johnny. So Jeremy and Johnny come to visit my family here in the U.S. a couple years ago. We all go to Mexico. And I've got this other uncle, so as in my wife's husband,

not a blood uncle, who's this like six foot five super jacked, like super handsome dude named Chad, American dude, like big muscular dude. I'm in college at this time playing rugby, you know, drinking my face off all the time. And chat, you know, like in really good shape. I think I was a senior. So, you know, feeling on top of the world. And we're all in Mexico together, right? And Chad, Chad, Chad, my, yeah, anyway, Chad's only like, I must have been, let's see,

senior year, college 21, 22, right? Chad's like 34. So, you know, like we are now at the time. Big massive handsome fucking Jack dude. And he's like, you know, he starts talking shit to my uncle Jeremy, like in a fun way, you know, provoking. Yeah. And Jeremy's like, you know, this very polite, proper British gay guy and his husband

Johnny. And they're like, well, why don't we just, you know, have a few drinks and see who can actually drink then, chaps? And so we start lining out the drinks, right? And we're in, we're in Mexico or at this rental house and it's just, it's just tequila for days. And we just start lining out the drinks, just shot after shot after shot after shot. And we're like, all right, we're going to do a shot every five minutes and the last one standing of the four of us

wins. And, you know, my two gay uncles from London are like, oh, you know, that's not really how Londoners drink. You know, we'll play your game. But I don't really think it's, you know, it's for, it's like, you know, you guys might win, whatever. So we start going, right? And I don't remember how many in we are. Yeah. And the reason I don't know how I don't remember how many in we are is because then I woke up the next day and I was still at the bar that we were sitting and doing the shots from. And there's a picture of Johnny and Jeremy,

the two gay uncles, stone face like sober, you know, smiling, cheering, and Chad and I both completely passed out, me on the bar and Chad on the floor with his shirt off, which it didn't start with Chad's shirt off. So I don't even know how it happened. I remember nothing. Chad remembers nothing. The rest of our family

just watch this go down. And apparently after I blacked out first, Chad blacked out like three drinks later. Jeremy and Johnny continued drinking for like four more hours because we were just so done and they were like they weren't even having a good night you guys are like

you can't base the competition between Americans and and you know people from London and the UK based on you drinking against them you can't handle sir as a science more than one tequila every two hours

as a scientist this is an observational experiment. I can tell you straight up, this is conclusive proof that all Americans are terrible at drinking compared to gay one. This podcast is going to go on the National Archives. You've proved it. By the way, I am getting a lot of shit on the YouTube live

of people saying that I'm almost finished with my drink and then I'm going to have to go pee soon. Yeah. You do pee a lot. You took three peas last time. During the podcast. I did. Yeah, you did.

Where'd you go? Oh, well. I was really drunk. Sorry. We know. I started off. It was a football Sunday. It's some people outside.

We're watching the game. No need to explain. Okay. You okay? I want to do my favorite what's in the news of the week. Favorite one? Okay. It's bigger than that.

It's huge. It's enormous. It's, shake it out. All right. This what's in the news, I've been hanging on to it. I was excited to talk about this.

Is my favorite what's in the news of the year. hands down. Wow. So Patrick, you will remember, we went to Vietnam. We worked with the raffidus, the giant soft shell turtle in Dongmo Lake. Very shortly after we got back, you know, we managed to film one there. It was the one that they had been spotted in the past. We managed to get footage of it. It was a male, big giant male. Very exciting to know and confirm genetically with the E-DNA that there was a male in Dong Mo Lake, right? This prompted, and this is all on Extincter Alive, this prompted hope that maybe. Maybe the raffidist species could survive, right?

There was a breeding facility being built. There was a giant male. And there was a known female in China. No, sorry. Wait. Yeah, that's right. Right? That's correct.

Sorry, there was a known female at the Shang Zoo, Shang something or other zoo in China. You've had a lot of tequila having China. Right. Because at that point, in the zoo in China, they had had a male who had the broken penis. Correct. And the female as well. Right.

Yep. Right. And this was huge, right? about four weeks after we got back, probably the most devastating news in the turtle world happened. The female died during an artificial insemination surgery, right? Meaning there was nothing but two males left in the entirety of the world, one with a broken penis in the zoo in China and the one that we filmed in Dongmo Lake.

Well, I mean, I was gutted, like literally like on the verge of tears. Wow. It's one of the most incredible creatures. It's like a dinosaur. I mean, I was gutted. Well, on December, 18th, 2020, a.k.a. That's today.

Damn. That is today. The ATP, the same exact group of people all named Tran, Tim, all the people we worked with, Patrick, got genetic confirmation that an animal that they didn't disclose because nobody knew about this, that they captured in October 2020,

in Dongmo Lake is definitively a female raffidus. Wow. There are two rafidus in Dong Mo Lake, a nail and a female. And they didn't know, I mean, for all this time, they had no idea. They just knew there was the one big male. Yeah, that's a picture of, well, if you're on my social media by chance, maybe you can scroll through, but you'll see all the people that we worked with Patrick. And it's a small one. It's a young, I mean, young is relative, but it's a smaller female. It's

not like that enormous male. And it's just absolutely insane. I mean, there's hope, see how much smaller than the big one that we saw, you know, probably still 200 pounds, but way smaller. but that means that this species has a trance at survival, which is absolutely insane. So what then does it take? I mean, so do they found genetic material? Did they specifically, they didn't actually find one. They found evidence of the existence of one of the female? No, no, that's her.

Oh, this is a picture of her. Sorry, I might not have been clear enough. In October, they caught an animal. I don't know the reasoning behind it. They caught an animal in October, took blood, did an ultrasound, et cetera, and released it. But today, and they didn't tell anybody that. Nobody knew that outside of the ATP. Today they announced that not only did they catch an animal, but she was indeed a female.

So there are potentially a mating pair of raffidus in Dog Moly Lake, which is just, I mean, you're looking at the rarest turtle in the world. You know, as far as we knew, there were two of them. And so, you know, it's huge. Do you think the people we were working with in Vietnam knew that there might have been a second turtle in the lake when we were there, but didn't want to say anything about it? I do. Yeah, I do. There were whisperings that, you know, there could be more. And it's like, you know, it's in the scientific community, you're not going to start spreading rumors about the potential of more, right? You're not going to be like, yeah, yeah, no, there's others here. You know, we don't have any proof to back that up. But, you know, people have told us or whatever. So even when we were interviewing locals and stuff, there were whisperings of, you know, I think there's one and then the other part of the lake and maybe down at this other reservoir, blah, blah, blah. But I think the ATP had a good inkling that there was one. but was waiting for some kind of proof or confirmation, and that obviously came today. Hey, so one of the Brosters just asked, and I think it's a good question, why, talk us through

what you think about the fact that they captured it and then reliance. Well, and here's, 100%. And so for all the Brosner's, you know, you'd have to be on the inside to understand this. The ATP doesn't go out targeting animals to catch. What they have done historically is rescued animals from fishermen. And they have all of these, yeah, they have all of these like signs and information up to say, if you catch a turtle, call us, we'll be there right away. And so by looking at this, what I'm analyzing, and I'm very sure of this, the ATP wouldn't

just go sticking nets in Dongmo Lake with the potential of harming one. But there are a lot of, there is commercial fishing. There is people with spears, everything that go to these lakes. What I'm analyzing by looking at the picture that's up on screen right now is you're seeing a net from a commercial fisherman, maybe a fish pen, etc. this animal got stuck in, this animal got captured. They pulled it up. The fishermen went, oh, from the signs, we got to call the ATP people who are there

every single day at the lake. Everybody knows them. They're very heavily tied into the community. They went, ran these tests, and then likely released her. I don't know the full, full story. I mean, the details are so fresh. It's all limited what information is being put out. But that would be my best guess at this point.

What do you think, do you think, so a question came through the chat, do you think that they're going to let them breed naturally or are they going to do? try and force it. Well, the best thing they could do would be to quote unquote force it. And what I mean by that is you want to keep the animals in their natural habitat in a somewhat safe space, right? Because Dongmo Lake's a huge lake. It's massive.

And it's full of fishermen, right? Hence the picture. Hence the reason they know this animal is there. It's not worth the risk to this animal. What the ATP has done, which is incredible, is they have built an island. in the middle of the lake with a natural breeding facility. They've put down sand for sandbanks. They've put down a nesting area with grass.

I mean, they've really done, they put a raft for coming out and sunning themselves on. They've really done a wonderful job. And they were working on that when we were there. So in my opinion, the best case scenario is to try and kind of bring these animals together without actually confining them, meaning putting up a huge barrier or kind of ushering them into a corner of the lake and blocking that off, something like that, where the animals can then find each other to reproduce. Because turtles don't go searching for mates, right, especially freshwater turtles. They run into a mate, they mate, and then off they go. They don't go out

hunting for mates, right? They're not like a lion that's calling, you know, is roaring into the savannah to call for a female. Yeah. So a huge lake, even though these are huge turtles, if they live on opposite sides of the lake, they might not ever naturally run into each other. So really you want to try and engage them without capturing them. What if they got like Polly D. there and just had open bar with as much vodka as you could drink? Do you think that they would all come in and just bang? Yes, Retap, for sure. Yeah, it's very similar in turtle culture to the Jersey Shore.

It's really similar. I love that story, though, man. Honestly, like when I started doing this podcast with you, I always have. liked animals more than human beings, just in general. And a lot of the stories that you've brought to my attention during the podcast have made me very happy, and this is one of them. Good. Good.

W.T. Willie, I'm sending you a picture. A lot of people might not have picked up on this, and I didn't state this. The raffidus, the Swinhoes giant soft-shell, the animal we're talking about, is the largest freshwater turtle in the world. And I, that's one of the reasons it's so important, right? I mean, it is an incredible dinosaur-like animal. Now, people in Florida... You can't tell from that little picture that's up.

I mean, it just looks like a normal turtle. It's so, it's massive. It's a massive. It's a messenger. Will, I just texted you a pick. I'm not sure if you're able to pull it up or not. But it is, I mean, to keep, to know that this animal still exists is incredible. It is like a dinosaur.

To try and keep them on the planet is our responsibility. because we, you know, we push them very close to extinction. So Will's going to pull it up in a second, and you can see what this creature is like. I mean, they are unbelievable inside. Addie in the chat asks, if humans were endangered and you found a female human, how would you encourage breeding, Pat? I would find out more about what's needs. Is that what you learned from the naked ape?

No, I know. I would put up a Christmas tree, quite frankly. Everyone gets very randy and saucy. True. You see it. It reminds you of... Good times. And childhood.

And by the way, they're not there. So what are you going to see? More human connection? How close can you get? Well... Yeah, just don't bring up their dead family. Family members. No, you don't want to do that.

You don't ever want to do that. What's that? A question that came earlier in the chat, which I was curious about, but it had passed. But now that we're on the topic of Christmas again, is there anything... What the fuck is up? up with Christmas in Zimbabwe.

Are you have any, you have any just crazy, weird-ass stories or anything? Well, yeah, you talked about it a little bit last week. The Brostner's were asking, are there any more, like, specific stories? I don't know. People are fascinated by the fact that you're African. Yeah. Because you look like a douchebag from San Barbara, quite frankly. That's a cultivated luxur, and I've worked very hard on that.

Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, let's see. stories from, from, uh, African safaris. So, look, growing up in Zimbabwe, everybody loves Christmas. It's a, it's, it's primarily a Christian area. So, you know, we get a huge Christmas tree in the downtown of Harari, absolutely massive, kind of like they do in, you know, downtown New York City. Everybody goes crazy for Christmas. Um, I'm trying to think what else. I mean, are people,

do people like, uh, booze? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, it's a big, so in Zimbabwe, the big thing, is country clubs, right? And they're not like stuck up American country clubs. They're like social clubs where people just go to hang out. And so what we would do on Christmas is like we'd wake up, we'd, you know, do presents and all of that. Then we would go to the enterprise country club. That was where our social circle would hang out. Here's something the Brosners will like. Now in Zimbabwe, there is no drinking age. There never was. I, when I was a little boy, when I was 10 years old, my dad bought me a pee-we-50 motorcycle. And literally after he showed me how to ride it, He's like, you know where the shop is?

The one that's three farms over, the farm shop? I was like, yeah, he's like, go get me a case of beer. I was like, you got it. And that was why he bought me a small motorcycle. And it was great. Yeah, it was genius. And he never had to go on a beer on himself ever again. But so we would go to the Enterprise Country Club.

There'd be polo a lot of the time because that's a big sport in Zimbabwe. Some cricket would be being played often. And then we'd have our big festive. Now, all the adults would be drinking gin and tonic or drinking beer. and the kids would get served shandies. And it was up to the bartenders at the Enterprise Country Club to decide how much beer and how much lemonade went in your shandy based on your age and size. And, you know, I knew all these bartenders like Isaac, the bartender there since I was like

two years old. So by the time I was like nine or ten, my shandies were getting pretty strong. They were probably like 50% beer, 50% lemonade. But when I started going to the Enterprise Country Club, you know, it was like 98% lemonade with a splash of beer in it. So, yeah, no, and even the kids would all be tipsy. Like the bartenders knew exactly how to let you have fun and then pull it back, even at a very young age.

And when I came to America, so here's kind of a fun anecdote about that. I started high school up north in the town of Cayucas. I went to high school in Cambria. And my very first football game that I didn't play football when I first arrived, I started playing football a bit later. My very first football game I went to, I grabbed a case of beer. You know, I was like, I've seen enough American movies. I get it. Like, everybody drinks beer at football games. And I go marching into the football game, age 14,

with a case of beer hanging, you know, not hidden, literally just holding it. Just carrying. Yeah. And I think I was drinking one at the time too. And straight up got like, not tackled, but like grabbed, had the beer ripped out of my hand, had the police called like the works. And I was just like, I'm not drunk, you know, like, why am I in so much trouble? And it was just like I just didn't even get that you weren't allowed to have beer at age 14. There you go. And that is, Christmas in Zimbabwe. Is that the motorcycle that you got bit by a snake and fell over, blacked out on while you're... Same exact one. Same exact one. Yep. Hey, producer, Will, are you ready for the Darwin Awards? Who? Everyone's second or third favorite segment? Second favorite.

All right. Let's do another installment of the Darwin Awards. Retef, explain to us what Darwin Awards. Well, I'm sure most people have heard of the Darwin Awards in general. that is when some of the dumbest people who are prevented from what? Procreating Forest win an award for doing stupid behaviors

that make it so they will not continue their genetic line onward. Will, producer Will is going to play some videos that we watch. Yeah. And we are... By the way, the Brewsterners are saying

that they hope that it's going to be more gory this week. Yeah. Yeah, come on. Come on, Will. I nearly fucking fainted last week. So, well, go ahead. Let's pull up the first clip of the Domino Awards.

This one's called Clowns. Don't know how balloons work. Oh, interesting. Yeah, let's see. How does a clown not know how a balloon works? Oh, God. Jesus Christ. Oh, God.

That's awesome. Oh, it's coming around again. Here comes another one. Round two? No. Is he going to make it? There's no chance. That is like Blaine.

So for those who are listening to the podcast, Oh, my. Oh, my God again. Good rule. So a bunch of rodeo clowns decided to take these plastic inflatable balloons over them and run out while. Several bulls were unleashed into the ring. Apparently not understanding that a balloon is not a huge amount of protection from a 800-pound animal running at 3 miles an hour.

That is a, that is a bubble. All right. So that's pretty dumb. What have we got? Pretty good. That's pretty good. I like that. Brosners, please weigh in.

See what you think about these. People are saying they lost a bet. I do this as a bachelor party. I bet Forrest would enjoy being in one of these. I would. it looks like a lot of fun to be quite honest. All right, this next one is called snowmobiler tailgates a grizzly. Which is, that just sounds very bad.

You shouldn't do that. It does. Don't tailgate a beer, a bear. I wish I had a beer. I need to make another drink, but if I get up, people are going to accuse me at peeing. Yeah. Yeah, it's true. Yeah.

Well, we'll. Yeah, I'm getting pretty low myself. Here we go. Here we go. We got a big bear. It looks like a toboggan, a snow hill. I saw. There we go.

Oh, my goodness. Get this going well. Okay, so you got a big brown bear. Oh, my. It's beyond. The bear turns around on the snowmobiler and takes a swipe. Oof, that was close. I love that the bear just.

Hard to sell. The bear just says, fuck, this guy turns around, pauses, and it's like, I'm going to kill this one. And goes for the cameraman. man. Are you kidding me? All right.

We have no idea what happens after this because the bear swipes at the guy in the foreground. Well, they're fucking idiots. So I think, I mean, I think the Darwin Award here is the guy just following so closely behind the bear. Like, what is he doing?

Why couldn't he stay like a bit further away? Like, I mean, what, one of the prisoners, I think, maybe, maybe knows something about this and says the dude's dead lads.

Oh, boy. I think that's a guess. All right. Let's see the last one. Okay. Let's see the last one. Third one is called tourist learns not to be with two E's, not to be a dick. A tourist learns not to be a good.

Do you think it has something to do with bees? I'd be surprised. Did you be surprised? Pop a pee. Uh-oh. There we go. All right. This has potential to be.

really bad. I'm worried. There we go. Oh, no. Is he hitting a a beehive? Oh, my God. Oh, boy. Good. Oh, boy. Listen. Yeah, he earned that.

This is, yeah. Will, can you play that one one more time? It kind of went by pretty quick. For us, can you narrate for the podcast? Yeah, so here's a guy. He's just standing next to a massive beehive and just starts whacking it with a, with a Coke bottle, just a plastic water bottle. And then you just see a couple bees buzzing around his head. Cut to guy in bee coma, eyes swollen shut, lip swollen shut, absolutely tatted in bee stings. 100% deserved it. Hands down my winner for the Darwin Award. Look, if you're a rodeo clown, you're setting yourself up for getting punished, right? If you're on a snowmobile and a grizzly comes back, by sure, you're going to film. If you walk up to a beehive and go, I'm going to hit this with a plastic bottle and see what happens while my buddy filmed. You deserve to win the Darwin Awards while you're in your beast on coma, sir. You are the winner. Patrick is not enjoying this. I just, I mean, be on my, probably two years ago when I was down in the Grand Canyon. That motherfucker's stung. That's swell, like two days of bullshit.

Oh, yeah. This guy, this tourist. takes a plastic water bottle and wax a massive bee-hub. What are you thinking? He deserved that. He did. How do you live to be that old? You can still see the end frame.

You can still see, so I don't know if people know this or not, but when a bee stings you, it leaves behind its stinger with a little venom sack behind it. That, you know, what you're looking at on his face there is not zits. Those are dozens and dozens of little venom sacs still stuck into the sky, those little white heads that you're seeing. I mean, this guy is in a coma. And I don't know if the brosters know this or if you guys know this or not, but bee venom is very, very close to rattlesnake venom.

I did. I had not. It's super duper close. That's crazy. Yeah. It's very, very close in compound. In fact, they, for a long time, they were trying to create rattlesnake anti-venin using bee stings. Oh, no shit.

Now, you get stung, you know, you get tagged by one rattlesnake. You know, they have two big old venom sacks in their mouth that are going to get into you. You get stung by 10,000 bees. that's probably worse than taking one bite from a rattlesnake. So that guy is not in good shape. Definitely Darwin, a winner. He's no gator nuts, but he gets it. The brokers overwhelmingly picked the B guy.

Good. I like this comment from just someone named Scott. Be guy is top idiot, which is totally true. Now, let me ask you this. I like Matt McHughes, hell of a honey facial. If you got stung by a lot of bees all the time, right? Like, let's say you just, I don't know, you're a fucking beekeeper, whatever. And you're constantly being stung by bees.

I'm a, let's paint the picture. I'm a beekeeper, but I have an eight pack and ab. So I choose to do it with my shirt off at all times because it looks better. Yeah. Would, could you possibly build up like a bit of an immunity to getting bit by rattlesnake? 100%. Yep. Absolutely right.

Yeah. And there's guys that do that. And it's funny because you, so let me explain. you over time if you're exposed to these venoms these toxins enough you can absolutely there's like a weird feather floating you can absolutely build up an immunity to them right and that's what people have done there are a couple crazy guys out there donald's a buddy in mine patrick you know donald is one of them who've injected themselves with tiny micro doses of snake venom over and over again slowly upping the venom quantity to try and build up an immunity to these things the same thing with bees you could absolutely you know you'd want to get stung by 1B on day one. This is a simplified version. Two Bs on day three, you know,

four Bs on day five, et cetera, so that slowly your body can fight it and adapt to it. Now the problem is, do you guys see this? There's literally this like feather floating around my office.

Of course, I can't miss it. It's the only thing I see. Like a cat. But is it from Hoover? He's sleeping on my lap. She might be hooves. Who's up, buddy? Those are so sleepy.

But what's interesting about trying to do that is you reach a point at some point, right, where your body has to basically make a decision, can I fight it off any longer or am I going to go into anaphylactic shock and die? And, you know, that happens to quite a lot of people that experiment with this microdosing and trying to build compounds in their system. So say you're mildly allergic to bees, right? So let's say you're not allergic to bees. You go, you know, one sting day one, three stings day two, whatever, or two stings day three, whatever. But when you get to, you know, day 150 and you decide to go for 150 B stings, your body is either going to be like, all right, I've built up to that. I'm

going to fight it off or it's just going to quit on you. Yeah. It's going to be like, nope, this is too much bee venom. You're done. Your heart is stopping. And that's, yeah, that's a real thing. It's interesting because on the, on the opposite of that, you have, you know, like, you'll, you'll roll in poison Ivy as a six-year-old and won't be allergic to it. And then you, you build the allergy to it eventually, like on the opposite end of that. So that's, like, fascinating that you can both at the same time build the immunity to something. But really, I guess that's the immune system overreacting when you build, you know, you get the allergy to the leaves and shit.

So is that possible you think with like snake venom or bee venom too? For sure. It's crazy. You absolutely can. Your body can have adverse reactions that, you know, compound. I used to work with a guy. So I, for a long time when I was doing riparian habitat restoration, meaning fixing creeks and rivers, we were pulling out, you know, weeds and bad plants and fixing the rock structure, et cetera.

Well, here in Southern California, around riparian habitat, we have tons and tons of poison oak. I used to work with this Mexican guy who was part, you know, Indian Native American Indian. I don't remember what tribe. And he would do all this work where we would be in head-high poison oak in a short-sleeve t-shirt and a pair of jeans. And, you know, if I sniff Poison Oak, I crack out. Like, it's insane. Like, I do not do well with Poison Oak. Well, I worked with this guy for, for many months. And one day, as name was Horatio, I asked him, I was like, Horatio, how, how do you do this? Like, what, how can you just pull up poison oak, you know, one after the next? And then I see you tomorrow and you don't have a spec on you.

Meanwhile, I'm in a hazmat suit and I'm itching my balls off, you know, the whole time we're doing this project. Well, sure enough, Horatio showed me something. He goes, see, this is what I do. And he reaches into the poison oak, picks a young leaf, puts it in his mouth, and chews it. And he says, I just chew these all day long. I pick a little leaf. I chew on it. When I can't taste it anymore, I spit it out and I pick another one. He's like, ever since I started doing that, I don't get any poison oak on my skin at all. That's insane. I was too, it was insane. And I saw it right in front of my eyes. I don't know any science that supports how that would work, why that would work, why digesting it would do anything.

I've never tried it. I was too scared to. I mean, I react really badly to poison. Me too. So I was just like, I kind, it's not even working. It's not even worth it for me to try it. Yeah. Well. But yeah, Horatio could chew on this poison oak and wouldn't affect him one day. On my 15th birthday, I was fucking around with my girlfriend at the time in the woods. And we had rolled in a patch of poison oak in the woods. So you were literally fucking around in the woods. And I had poison oak everywhere you could imagine. It was the most miserable fucking thing that I could I could ever experience. And I'm just saying I never built an immunity up.

to it from that. Dude, I think, yep. Me and a buddy stole a, we had a paper route. And there's this one house. Talking about your paper route. There's this one house that would never leave us a tip.

And they were, the farthest house to get to was a real problem. We broke into their garage and stole a case of cans of orange soda, like really gross kind, like local store bought. And I was, I knew at the time, because there's so much poison ivy in that part of,

of upstate New York where I lived, that I just wasn't allergic to poison ivy. Like I could literally roll around in it naked. I won't have anything wrong. So we hit it very carefully in a huge patch of poison ivy. And then each morning on the way to school, I would go retract us to orange sodas from our case. It was really. Yeah. That's my superpower.

That's great. That's like, that's a story out of a movie out of like stand by me or something. A stand by me do you like movie. We weren't that young. We were like, we're 12. Like, that sounds like 70. Like 24. 27.

Oh, man. You were giving me shit. I was making a drink. I have a, and also take a. There was no. If I was peeing and you would have heard of fire hose. Trust me. Not new to take.

By the way, the brosters are asking for it. I think we need to get into it. I think it's time, boys. For what? Battle Roy. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do it.

What do you have this week? I got one on deck unless somebody else had some plan. No, let's do it, boy. Let's do it. All right. Here we go. So I got a Brosner DM from Charlie's canines. Nice.

He said, Battle Royale. Yay, sent this one to me too. Love it. It's great. Hey, guys, my dog and I love your podcast. When you do the Battle Royale, my dog starts howling because she is so excited. Here's a battle royale. She actually sent, he actually sent two, but here's a battle royale for you.

Said if you could pick three dog breed characteristics and create the ultimate breed, what would they be? I like it. I think that's fun. Okay. So this is very relatable. I think that's fun. Right. We're talking about dog breeds.

You're going to make the ultimate dog breed? The ultimate dog. And you can have any reason, right? It can be a guard dog. It can be a working dog. You know, whatever you want. Like you, sky is the limit here. It's like, what are your three dogs, three dogs combined into one and why?

Let's go snake draft. Retep, you still don't understand how this works, but why don't you start? Yeah, you have no idea. The Brestners are already shitting on you for not knowing how a snake draft works. I know how it works. I'll get it right this time. There's no chance. Okay.

All right. A dog, three traits. I go first and I pick all three this one first time. Yeah, yeah, still don't know. That's how it works. You got it. I mean, I'm not sure

you know, how how fucking real this has to be. My dog will be able to speak English. That's number one. Nope. No, we can't do that. Nope.

All right. Three dog traits. My dog. You're picking traits of existing dog. What's wrong with you? Open minded. Fuck you. Pat.

Shut up. No, come on, Routette. You got to be like, I want the legs of a chihuahua on the body of a Dalmatian. Oh, wait. I thought we were talking about personality traits.

You can use personality. It doesn't matter. But you just get with the game. Okay, okay, okay. All right. My first pick for real, and we're not fighting each other, right? No, as much as people do want us to fight them from the comments, people really want us to fight these fucking dogs. Whether or not we're fighting my first.

All right. Maybe at the end, maybe at the end. But for time being, we are not fighting. The best pet. Whether or not, whether or not we are fighting at the end, my pick is my number one pick is loyalty. I want my dog. Good. Because my current dog, he's like 50% loyal.

I need a dog that's 100% committed to our relationship who will not just turn on me at the sight of a pair, at the site of a warm female body. Still not a characteristic. Loyalty? How is that not a characteristic? Of us? The loyalty of what? Of a spaniel? Like, you know, of, you're giving Patrick an aneurysm.

To get through the snake draft. With your tap, not understanding basic concepts. I'd like a loyal St. Bernard. Is that correct? Okay. Yes. Sure. They're the most loyal.

Good enough. Loyalty of a safe Bernard. If you're not, you're going to take a St. Bernard, don't go for the size. Just go for its loyalty. Oh, Seth, you haven't won one since podcast, too. I'm going to go next here. I've won everyone since podcast, too. Go for it.

I spent New Year's Eve in Tokyo about maybe five years ago. Went to this little character. bar. The group I was with were the only people in there. The guy, the owner, had a dog. It was like maybe nine, ten months old, puppy-ish. It was my favorite dog I've ever met, except my own dog. It had so much energy. It was so much fun. It was exciting to be around. I didn't want to leave the bar. It was a border collie. Now, yeah, they kind of have the look almost of an Australian Shepherd. Um, what I've heard as far as like, if you own one is that, uh, they have so much energy that they can actually be a bit of a problem. Like literally like 16 hours a day, they have to be running.

I can see that. But I'm going to take the fun of a border collie. Yeah. Nice. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Are you getting how this works now or are you still? Well, I mean, we have a problem with speaking the English language and not one single brokner knew what the fuck you were talking about, including me.

For sure. Yep, that's that's so it's my turn again, right? All right. So I will. Oh my God. No, it's not your turn. Go on. All right. Yes. Okay. For my first pick, well, I, just because I don't offend him, I have the perfect dog right here. He's just been sitting on my lap the whole podcast. He is. He is. He's a real lap dog, this one too. All right. So for my first pick, a dog that I've actually always wanted to personally own, I'm going to go for the body and coat. No, hold on. Sorry. Let me think about this. Sorry. The personality and attitude, I'm sorry, of a Portuguese water dog. So I've always wanted a Portuguese water dog. It's the dogs that the Obama's had.

I don't want them because of that. I wanted so people recognize them from that. I wanted one because they love water. They have hair and not fur. They're super outgoing and energetic. They love swimming. They love going on boats, all the things I love. They can surf with you, everything else. So I'm going to pick, kind of like Patrick went for the fun of a border collie.

I'm going to go for the passion of water play of a Portuguese water dog. Okay. Okay. Now, to round that, well, to continue from that, I'm going to take that Portuguese

water dog attitude creature. and put it into the body of a saluki. You guys familiar with the saluki? It's very skinny, right? Like a very skinny dog? Yep. Very weird looking dog. I think they're cool.

I think they're really pretty. Very different. Not the kind of dog I would personally want to own, but I love the look of them. So I'm going to put the Portuguese water dog into the saluki. That's where I'm at. Okay. So you've lost, and Retepp is completely out of his mind.

I have everyone's favorite, a lot of Brosner's commenting that the border collie is a great dog. So I've got that temperament. I've got that energy, that fun, that just zest and zeal for life. I'm going to put it into the body, to the body of an Ofcharka. Oh, I knew you were going to pick that because you're obsessed with that. I'm obsessed with them. I do a whole fucking series about these dogs. Will, if you could pull up the picture of the Ofcharka, I would much appreciate it.

And I did text you, so you better fucking do it. It's also called a Caucasian shepherd dog. They are, Will's definitely taking a shit. Unbelievable. Unreal. Give them a second. Give them a second. They are huge, 220 pounds.

They look like a grizzly bear. They use them to guard maximum security prisons in Siberia. But they're very fluffy. They're just, you know, so I've got a border color. It's fun. It's excited. It just wants to be your friend, but it's 220 pounds. and it's like six feet tall standing on all fours.

Look at that thing. That's a good dog. Yeah. That's a, so far you're in the lead for sure. This is a lot of fun what you're creating. With the personality of a border collier. I mean,

come on, guys. Yeah, that'd be exhausting and terrifying, but amazing. Okay. True. All right,

Retef, you're up for two, so you have the loyalty, the classic loyalty of a St. Bernard. Listen, I'm changing, I'm changing everything now that I understand how the game works.

I'm still picking my St. Bernard, but I'm picking, him. No, I get it. I get it. But his characteristic is that he's loyal. My next dog that I'm picking is a, I'm going for the look. So now I guess I'll pick the, the look. I want the look of a Dalmatian because they're fun to look at. Sometimes I take mushrooms. They have spots. Oh, why do they take mushrooms? I'll take mushrooms and look at my dog is what I'm saying. And so the spots will be kind of blent. together and dance around the room as you have your glowing lights going. Yeah, there will be a lot of, of that. And then my final pick will be the German Shepherd because they are smart and they are.

What? What? What of a German Shepherd? It's not a third. The intelligence. Okay. Gotcha. And the paws and the look.

In fact, I just want a German Shepherd. I don't care about anything else. So Peter has the paws and look It's the pause and look of a German Shepherd With the spots of the Dalmatian And the loyal, so it has no head or body It just has the pause and look of a German shepherd Also, I bet if you Google least loyal dog

I feel like St. Bernard is probably going to pop up. No way, dude, they're searching rescue dogs. Are you out of your fucking mind? Yeah, that's good. All right. And as to win, it says, these should be the next wild-time t-shirts, just these dogs that we've... All right. So I've got a 220-pound furry, fuzzy, rush note charka.

It is the personality of a border collie, which means it's fun, it's excited, loves me. It's got some energy. We're going to go for a lot of jogs. I'm going to give it the smelling ability, the scent glands of a bloodhound. Okay. Which are, on most sites, they're ranked that they have the most scent receptors at 300 million cent receptors, the most of any breed. I will be eating truffles for days.

I knew you were going to say that. That's great. I'm going to go out with Forrest who is friends giving once we get the vaccine. I'm going to have like 5,000 truffles. Everyone else is going to have a truffle. That's right. That's good. So then everyone's going to be involved.

You have a horse-sized party animal that hunts truffles. I mean, it's great. Forrest, are you taking notes like you typically do so you can recap at the end? Oh, thank God. Got him right here. He's so organized. Very organized. Yeah, he's very organized.

For being a flighty misdirected a lunatic, he's very organized. Yeah. With no amygdala, please don't. For being a total piece of shit, he is so. Yeah, he gets it. So I have. So it's my pick a guess. I will pick.

No, no. Next. You're done. You're done. Oh, okay. So I have the attitude, the friendliness, the good-naturedness of a Portuguese water dog and a dog that loves going in the ocean, swimming, diving, all those fun things. They just love being wet and on boats in this very slender, unique, odd-looking body of a saluki.

Now, to add to that, because this is something I'm going to have to take care of. And when I was thinking of Patrick's horse-sized party animal, I was thinking of him scraping up mounds of feces on the sidewalks of West Hollywood. So I'm going to add to that the pooping abilities of a chihuah. So I have this beautiful, slender surfing, super cool, fun, friendly dog that makes little little nugget perturts that I can literally just flick off the sidewalk and nobody will ever even notice. Are you fucking kidding me? Why don't you guys go fucking rub and tug each other in the back? What are you talking about? That's smart?

A dog that can shit? No. What he's saying is that he's got this large dog that's going to shit like a cat, essentially. Yeah. How are you not getting this? The dog's like 70 pounds. It's going to take poops that are the size of a raisin. It's a genius.

No, it's not genius. So you don't have to pick up a lot more shit? Is that? Correct. Yeah. So selfish. I want dog sat a great Dane. Have you ever picked up a Great Dane's turd, Peter?

No. I've picked up my own turd. Have you ever seen a Great Dane's? Okay, Peter. Have you ever seen a Great Dane's turd? I've seen my own turd. Okay. Now, imagine your own turd.

turd. That, I imagine Taco Bell, blood-laden, rotting mess that you put into your toilet on the sidewalk of Los Angeles in 98-degree weather, and you have to scoop that up with a bag. Well, you're getting a lot of flack for us from the Brosner's because

I think we have some Chihuahua owners. They're saying that, yes, the turds will be smaller, but more frequent. By the way, Big X, 007. One bag. Big X, 007 is fantastic. You guys are idiots. Your animals are ridiculous.

My German Shepherd will kill your fucking animals. You don't even remember the other two dogs. If they need to be rescued, my St. Bernard will come and rescue them and feed them wrong. No, you don't have multiple dogs. How do you still not get this? All right. Recap us out of it. If you are listening to this.

Hey, real quick, love these comments. Give us more. Send us fucking DMs, post on the Instagram. Please like and subscribe if you haven't already. it's much appreciated. Logan Williams says the muscle and bite of a pit bull, the size of a Great Dane and the mind of a German Shepherd. He's clearly trying to murder someone.

Yeah, yeah. Love the interaction. It's super fun. Thank you for tuning into the live. For those who did, for those who didn't, we love you too. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what we haven't asked anybody to do in a long time.

Look, we don't make money doing this. We do this because we're friends and we have fun and we drink on the podcast with all you brosners. But what really helps us is when you go on to iTunes and you leave us a five-star review in a comment. It helps search ranking. It helps boost it in the iTunes place. I don't know. Retep, you understand all that nonsense.

But, yeah, but, you know, it's really helpful. So, guys, we appreciate not just you being here for the live, but commenting on iTunes, leaving us five-star reviews, letting people know about it because it is growing. We're enjoying doing it. We want to keep doing it. So what should they comments about? I mean, how I won very easily or what? That would be a good thing.

Yeah, you know, maybe you go to out. iTunes and just every week, just say Patrick 1. Don't write anything else. Five stars. Patrick's one. Please don't do that. That's that'll look like Span. You could go to iTunes and say what you like the most about the podcast. Who won the Battle Royale this week? Talk about how you hate me. It looks like a reject from the sons of anarchy. You know, these are good, these are good things to talk about. And if you want to also hit up the YouTube though, because the YouTube videos are where the community engaged. So, yeah, it's the Wild Times podcast on YouTube. Again, starting Monday of this week, we will have new content every single day.

And Joe Elvis says that I look like a cop that just arrested his buddy. I don't get that, Joe. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah. But go to find all the info, go to the Wild Timespodcast.com forward slash info, wild timespodcast.com forward slash merch for merch. By the way, it's nearly Christmas. time, there is literally no better guess.

There's no better goddamn gift. A cool tank of a blobfish that says, my spirit animal. Or if you have that friend. I thought you were going to say, yeah, go ahead, for us. I thought you're going to say the gift of laughter, join the pod. But please continue. Look, you're looking for a fucking gift for your bro, your buddy, your brother, your dad, who knows? Straight up.

You know, even your sister or your wife, your mom, your grandma. They would love a my spirit animal blobfish tank. Just, Grandma needs that. They need a meat tree shirt. I'll get that out before Christmas. Yeah.

I'll pass out all those Jenna meat tree favor shirt. Hashtag Meetree. Send us your ideas for meat tree shirts. Whatever the fuck you want. Somebody just suggested a poop shirt.

You really have made my mother a thing because so many of the comments are surrounding my mother. Should we make a Dolores DeLuca shirt? You just brought it up again. You want to start talking about her address? Her name's not Dolores, though. I made that up.

That was the joke. Uh-huh. Good one. Okay. She's not happy with you, Peter. She used to like you. Listen, give me your number. I'll give her a call.

We'll talk. Thank you. I just come back. Hey, this is we're here on YouTube Live. You're the best. We love you guys, man. Thank you. Love you guys.

I actually do like you too as well. Good night. Brozner's. Love you. Good night.