Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #41 - More Extinct or Alive Behind the Scenes with Forrest Galante, Patrick DeLuca, and Mitchell Long

Episode Date: January 18, 2021

This is the episode people have been clamoring for! Extinct or Alive camera man, Mitch joins The Wild Times Crew for Extinct or Alive story time.  Forrest, Pat, and Mitch recount what was going on behind some of your favorite EoA moments (like the hippo head on the boat).  Enjoy, brosteners! Love you!

Ladies and gentlemen, Mitchell, shut the fuck up. God damn it, now we have to start over. This is how this night's going to go. Ladies and gentlemen, Rosner's of all shapes and sizes, welcome back to the Wild Times, episode 41, the greatest podcast on Earth, the only podcast that's doing three times the amount of listens and views than the Joe Rogan show. It's incredible. Our numbers are unbelievable.

Where they're going, I don't know, because they don't show up on YouTube or iTunes, but they're there somewhere. This is the Wild Times podcast, a podcast dedicated to talking science, wildlife, fun, adventure. I am your host, Forrest Galante, the broologist, joined by the ever-handsome Retep. The professor, Retep, what's up, buddy? Cheers, mates. Just having a little cocktail, been waiting for this night all week. Love you guys.

Hey, Mitch. I believe that. I believe that. As always, joining myself and Retep is Papa Pee, Popper Pilpper, Papa Patrick DeLuca. I'm running out of peas when I do that bit. The Broducer. What's that, Patrick? How are you?

Hey, pretty good. Okay. Yeah, real excited to have our guest on today. Yes. We've been talking about it for 40 episodes. For 40 episodes, most excitingly, joining us tonight, if you are listening, for the very first time, is the one and only, the incredibly special and unique, the director of brotography, the camera brooperator, if you will. Will. Mr. Mitchell Long, what's up, Mitch? What's going on? I can't say I'm excited to be here, but it's something for sure.

Good, good. That's good. Oh, man. Well, this is good. We've been talking. So for those that don't follow the podcast, we do the thing at the end of the podcast called the Battle Royale. It's probably everybody's favorite segment. We make up fictitious animals and battle them or compete in some way. And right before we logged on to the podcast, I was like, all right, Mitch, So have you got your battle royale kind of figured out? You're familiar with it? He's like, I don't know what that is. So in 40 weeks of making this, my closest friend, Mitchell Long, has given it zero listens.

No, that's not fair. That's not fair. I've listened to a lot of them, but not the entire span. So it's like 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there. I basically just tune in when you make fun of me, and I, you know. Toad back out. Yeah, exactly. Then I just turn it off.

It's great. Ritep, what's your week been like? Yeah, it's just been your average week. A lot of hard work, just preparing for the podcast for at least six to eight hours a day. Daily videos. Lots of manage in this empire we're running here. That's about it. All right.

Look, I've got a lot of things that I want to talk about tonight, but none more so than Patrick DeLuca's T-shirt. If you're watching on YouTube, I, yeah, Patrick, can you tell us what's, what are you wearing there? It's just a shirt with like a cool picture on it. It's just like a cool graphic. It is the lameest picture of ever seen. Who is that on your t-shirt there? Is that James Franco's younger brother's more ugly younger brother? I think it's Ryan's secret.

More ugly? More ugly? Are you kidding me? This looks like a male model on my shirt. Oh, no. Who is it? Tell us. The brothers are curious.

It's me wearing a suit. Why are you wearing a t-shirt of yourself wearing a suit? Because some photos were posted. of me online from a photo shoot that was done that I, you know, begrudgingly went to, like all pictures that exist of me. Yeah, that's real pictures. And my nephew, who's, we've talked about Charlie on the podcast, for Christmas, he was so appalled by the photo shoot that he superimposed my face

onto T-shirts and gave them to the entire family for Christmas. Oh, the entire family? The whole family got them. Yeah, so they're all. Because he thinks it's really embarrassing to, like, have a professional picture taken of you looking like a male model. So it's like, let's be really good. I'll just wear it. I've never seen anything more embarrassing, to be honest.

Very nice. It's one of those gifts that you acted like you hated. But in reality, you were like, oh, my God, this is the best gift. My eyes lit up. Like, I was just like, yes, this is awesome. So, yeah, so these will be in the merch store soon if you want to. with the producer and a suit. I would wear a pop a P-T shirt for sure.

Oh, me too, man. Absolutely. So, Mitch, since you've never listened, even though Forrest and I, you said, are your two best friends that you've ever had. Absolutely. And you don't listen to the show. Inequivably.

We talk a lot of nonsense. We talk about wildlife news so that people who are interested don't have to, you know, go scrub the news. We pull all the best stories. So let's get right into one, Forrest. What? especially because this week you got, I noticed you got a brand new desk.

I do every week. Yeah. What kind of tree is that? Is that pure Bayobab? It is. Yeah, it's a Beobab tree. It was actually at one point in time a Dow, a Malagasy canoe that it was now flipped over and turned into my new desk. Mitchell, this is a running bit on the show.

Very cool. All right. So what's your favorite thing that came across your Dow? Oh, my God. I am excited. There is a new discovery of a new basketball. species with orangutan hue, that orange incredible hue, discovered in West Africa yesterday. This incredible new species of bat is from the Nimbab Mountains in Guinea.

It's incredibly rare. It's never been seen before. And it's one of those things that for me is just like, you know, everybody's like, oh, new species discovered. It's an ant. It's like, no, this is a full, like pretty good size bat that's come out of this incredible region. scientists set out on an expedition survey in 2018, but it's only now that they've found this fiery orange-colored bat with these black wings.

It's just incredible looking. That's just super exciting. Yeah, there's a picture. Crazy line. Can you pull one of those up for us? It doesn't even look like a bat. Well, one of the things that they're saying is cool about this is that there are a lot of like 1,400 species of bat.

Yep. And every year they find some new species, but they're usually, it's like in a lab, and they see that the DNA is slightly different. Correct. This was like, they saw it and we're like, oh, that's different. We don't know that one. Yeah. Oh, totally.

You know, look at that thing. It's incredible. It's bright orange. That thing was flying around overhead. You know, it's a big bat, if I'm not mistaken. I read somewhere the size. But, you know, it's like your standard large bat size. It looks like it's in a full-on, it looks like it's in a baby bassinet, filling it up.

Very cute. It's absolutely what it looks like. It looks like one of our battle royale. creations, to be honest. It does. It looks like someone did like bat body and lion head. It's got a main, dude. It does have a mane. That is a good observation.

Well, I think that that's definitely my favorite thing that's come across my Beobab desk. Looks a bit like Mitch, actually, now that I look at it close. Interesting. Do you say it looks like me? No, no, I didn't say it. I'll take it back. Well, so look, we haven't had a guest in a while. Yeah. I guess for

most of our listeners are very interesting. in wildlife, or just drinking, it's one or the other. It is. Mitch is pretty good at one. He's terrible at the other. His face turns red, like a teenager. Which one are you talking about? I actually don't know.

Well, for those who don't know, Mitch is a camera, director of photography. Forrest and I've worked with a bunch, shot wildlife all over the world, which I think people find fascinating. Like, you know, planet Earth, when I first watched that years ago,

the coolest part was at the very end where they showed the camera guys and how they got shots. Totally. Yeah. So like, what would you say, Mitch,

in your career, in your illustrious Emmy-nominated career, what is, what is like your favorite shot of an animal that you've ever gotten? Oh, man. That's a good question. Favorite shot of an animal I've ever gotten.

I think I know his answer, and if he says something different, I will remind him of this. I, God, that's a, that's a great question. Well, what's coming into your mind? Just throw out a couple. The one that immediately comes to mind is the shot of the rhino.

Had to be. Had to be. That's what I was waiting for. I was just waiting to tell the story. I was like, if you're telling it, I have to bring it up. So let's go. It's funny, because I was going to, the next question was, what's the closest you've come to shitting your pants when filming the animals? So you just answered both.

Those two actually are one in one right there. It's the same story. that rhino in africa was i think because of just how close i was and that shot itself for those that seen haven't seen extinct you're alive why don't you paint us a little picture here picture all right so the the picture is for about like three days we're the me and the camera department we're all taking turns going out first thing in the morning to go look for rhinos with this legend john no sorry i was talking about forest i was talking about john steph i was talking about John Stevens. John Stevens. The legend John Stevens. I was going out with John Stevens,

the legend, and a company by Forest Colante. But mainly for, mainly John Stevens. But we, for multiple days, we were trying to like, you know, just see a rhino in, you know, foot in the bush, which is not something that you can do pretty much anywhere left in the world, right? You sit in a car and Kruger, you drive on the paved roads, go, there's a rhino. Like, we were in deep bush Africa, tracking rhino on foot for about three days. Yeah, please continue. So our, you know, for that episode, our, you know, our main camera guy had gone out with Forrest and any luck came back. The AC had gone out, not any luck.

And so finally, one of the last mornings we were there, we were like, all right, Forrest is going to go in the morning. Who wants to go? And I was like, all right, well, it's my turn. I'm going. So we woke up at, I think it was like 3.30 in the morning. Got everything prepped, got it ready, went out and, you know, cruised out in a safari vehicle. we ended up spotting a rhino from the road got out and then tracked it on foot this went on for maybe you know two three hours where we just patiently walked and kind of got close to this thing and

we had to stay downwind and we hear him and we'd approach slowly from behind a bush and then we you know he'd flank us to the right so we'd move to the left so that the wind direction was with us so we're doing a song and dance and is it hard to walk is it hard to walk quietly when your underpants are full of poo poo It is because there were multiple times where I was walking and I'd like stop and hear something. And I would look at the guy like, what was that? And they're like, oh, that's the pack of lions tracking us. And I'm like, excuse me?

Like, what? And they're like, yeah, that's that's the lions that are literally, they're like surrounded us. Like they won't attack. And I'm like, how do you know that? And they're like, well, they never have. And I was like, well, that's not very comforting. Like they still could. And they're like, oh, you know, they're like 100 meters away.

I'm like, that's like a football field. Like, that's not that far. But, you know, it was one of those things where, you know, whatever, we're on foot, we're, you know, I, it's not that I felt safe, but I felt like, you know, I have force there who I trust. I have the guides there that I trust. I was like, all right, whatever, let's go on foot. Let's track this thing. So we go charging into the bush, you know, we're quietly sneaking up on this rhino who constantly is moving his way away from us.

And finally, after, you know, maybe an hour or two hours, we finally get to, position where, you know, I can get a shot where I see forest and the rhino together, which is always, that's the dream shot in any wildlife show. If you can get a host and the animal in the same shot, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, and I think for a second. Sure. Go ahead, Patrick. I was going to say, and, and why is that? It's because you can't fake that, right? There's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, argument of, I could just use a stock footage shot of a rhino and a shot of forest and like, oh my God, look, there it is. The minute you get that shot, and not that we ever do that, you know,

but people do. People do. It's a big thing. It happens. And I do want to say this. Sorry, Mitch, I just want to interrupt and say one thing about that. To Mitch's credit, which I really, in fact, I'd rather you stop listening for a second. You know, like, for all those people that have, you know, watch planet Earth or blue planet or whatever, you have these incredible shots of animals, right? Try and do that while also putting the host in the frame. You know, it's incredible. incredibly challenging what Mitch has to do. And especially when your host is me, who's, you know, all hopped up on Mountain Dude jumping around like a lunatic. Yeah, baby.

Best drink ever. Yeah. So it's, you know, I credit to Mitch because his, his, one of his main things is always connecting me with these oftentimes extinct animals, but wild creatures that were out tracking. And in this case, he's trying to get a shot of me talking about this rhino. And in doing so, what happened, Mitch? It's, I mean, like you said, in, you know, for the purposes of our show, like, if you can't get you and an animal together, it, you know, it's just not as good. So we're constantly trying to connect forest to an animal. So in this circumstance, we were tracking this rhino going through the woods.

Two hours later, I finally get to a position where it's like I've got forest in one side of my frame and I got the rhino in the background and I'm like, oh, this is it. And Forrest is looking at the camera and talking about the rhino. And it's like this great epic moment. And we're all like, oh, this is... And right after he was done, Forrest was done with his whole presentation, talked about the rhino, did everything. It was like, I had such this relief of like, wow, I got it, right? But right after that, one of our trackers was like, oh, my God, Mitch,

there's a better shot, like 10 feet this way. So I'm like, oh, great. So I, like, changed lenses quick, move over, and I was standing between these two trees, and I, like, got crouched down, got this, you know, distant shot of a rhino. Well, this rhino, and let me just say this quickly, because you're about to explain why, or you're about to explain what happened. But what happened is when Mitch shifted and we moved, either we went upwind of it a little bit or the wind changed and then what happened, Mitch. Right.

So I'm standing between two tiny, like when I say trees, I don't mean trees. They're like twigs. They're like these little sticks. I'm standing between these sticks knelt down and this rhino just starts walking in. You know, he just starts walking toward me, walking toward me. And I'm filming and I'm, you know, I have my eye through the lens. So I'm like, oh, this looks great. Look at this amazing shot.

And he's just keeping it in closer. Not thinking about what's happening. And as I'm like, you know, racking out. And I'm like kind of like, I know I had a for you camera nerds out there. I had a 70 to 200 lens. So I like was at 200. And as he gets closer, I'm like backing out, backing out, backing out. And all of a sudden I'm at the end of my lens.

I'm like, holy shit, he's really close. And I'm in focus. And I look up and the thing is like 15 feet away. And I was like, oh my God. what have I done? And then the thing, at that point, at that point I just sort of froze. And I was just like, fuck. Like, at this point, like, what do I do?

Like, he's 10 feet, he's 15 feet away. He's looking right at me, you know. It would take him maybe a split second to get from him to me. Like, I just. You looked up at me, remember, and I whispered to you. What did you whisper? So I, in my head, I remember thinking, and it's, it's all very clear because it's a, it's a moment in my life where I actually have, I feel like I had perfect clarity, but I remember thinking, and it just honestly, like, not that I want to fucking, you know, pat Forrest on the back by any means, but this is something that, like, Forrest has always kind of instilled in all of his camera crew is, you know, when you're in your, any, with your, in your, if you're close with any animal, just act normal.

Just don't freak out. Just be calm. Yeah, but you kind of got to have no remigdala like Forrest does to do that. Exactly. So I don't expect that. did that. Freaking out is not going to help anyone. It's going to get yourself killed.

So he looks up with me. He looks up. He sees Forrest and everybody. He looks back in me. I'm the closest and I'm just like, God damn it. This is it. I'm screwed.

Yeah. And I just, I just completely froze. Just rock solid. And he looks at me and he kind of does this whole like, he gets all intense. Or the rhiz. The rhino.

The rhino. The rhino. So he gets all tense and he's like, looking at me. He does this whole foot thing. And he's just like ready. I'm like, this is it. I'm like, this is it.

Starting to shake his head. This is it. Starting to get ready to charge, right? So he kicks up dust. He does a, out his nostrils. He's locked on to Mitch in the scent. Now, rhinos, for those that don't know, they have terrible vision, right? They're really, really poor eyesight.

But they are, and they feel incredibly nervous if they can smell a threat. And they will charge. Without any question, they will charge. So what happened was Mitch is behind these twigs. I'm just to his right behind, you know, a slightly larger stick that I could maybe have pulled myself up in an emergency. see, and the rhino looks over and it goes, basically the rhino's thinking, there's something there. I can see a shape through the bushes.

I don't know what it is. I can smell it. It's 15 feet away. I'm going to kill it. That's what's going through the rhino's mind. And Mitch is locked on 15 feet away, eyeball to eyeball with this thing. He looks up at me, and I just, what did I say to you, Mitch? It was early you saying it was just the, everybody was just mouthing.

Don't move. Don't move. Yeah, right. Why? Because it immediately just charge his ass if he... Absolutely. No question about it. Any more than done. Any movement at all.

Yeah. When you're 15 feet from a 3,000 pound animal... Yeah. Right? That has a 12-inch... Notoriously bad temper. Yeah, bad temper. It's got a... It's perfectly built for killing lions.

For just running straight at something and killing it. And you're the only thing it's thinking about. That's exactly what was going on. It's also exactly the moment that you pooped your pants. So. That was, yeah. So he looks so, so this rhino's staring at Mitch. They're in a lockoff.

You know, Mitch looks up at me. He's right. I don't think I said anything. I just mouth, don't move. Yeah. And Mitch just looked like literally just turned his head back to the rhino. So he was watching. And I could feel what Mitch was thinking because, by the way, I was terrified.

Not for Mitch. I was terrified for myself. I've never been 15 feet away from a wild rhino before. And I was like 22 feet away, you know, and Mitch was closer. This was probably the most tense moment we've ever had on the show with an animal. Yeah. And it was scary, for sure. It lasted what?

Just under a minute, I'd say. Yeah, but a minute. I would say about a minute. About a minute. From the minute is stopped. It stopped right in front of me to where it finally, it was about a minute. But that minute was, I mean, that was the longest minute of my life. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. It felt like an hour and a half. But I can definitely say, like, there was a moment, like, when I looked at Forrest and he said, don't move. And then at one point I looked over at the other, behind the tree, like, to my left, there was one of our other guides was kind of looking at me like, just, you do it. Yeah. Finally, I was just like, all right, like, screw it. I'm in this situation. Like, let's just, I almost had a point where I was like, let's just embrace it.

So I, like, looked back at the rhino. And I just kind of locked eyes. And it wasn't, I don't know, like, some people believe in, like, universal, you know, feelings and whatever. Karma. Karma. Yeah. I had a moment where I, like, look back at the rhino, and I was just like, I'm not here to hurt you. I'm just, I'm just photographing, like, please, please spare me.

I had that moment with the rhino, and the rhino just kind of looked at me, and then he kind of, like, would look back at, like, Forrest and then who were kind of, like, tucked behind a tree, and then he looked back at me. And there was a couple moments where he, like, kind of, like, move forward, and I was like, oh, this is it. And then he kind of stopped. And then after Lake Forest at about a minute, he just. sort of was like, all right, kicked his head up, you're okay, and just turned and charged off into the blood.

He completely, his total, his whole demeter changed. He calmed down and he just sort of was like, all right, I'm good. And he kind of turned and walked away. And I,

like, not to like brag, but like up until right when he walked away, I was, I was pretty good. Like, I held this,

like, stone cold face. I was like, all right, this is the situation I'm in. Yeah. Calm, you know,

don't react, don't freak out. Like, that's just going to set it off. So I just kind of, I accepted what I was in. Everything was fine. And the minute he moved, the minute he left, I went from being like, I'm totally fine.

Like, I'm chill. You were a mess. And then the minute he left, I literally collapsed and I like, almost couldn't breathe. I was like, shaking. I've never seen so much. It was terrifying. The minute he left, guys, the minute the rhino turned and charged off because the rhino like trotted off at a pretty good pace, we like kind of erupted into like a laughter

of relief and looked at. Mitch and he was lying in the ground convulsing with adrenaline. Like I'm not just saying that to be dramatic. Like he was shaking like his hands were just like this. He was convulsing with adrenaline. And it was awesome because, you know, we've all, in our lives, we'll probably all be faced with some kind of situation like that. And there's two response, not with a rhino, but with some kind of situation where the fight or flight response will be triggered, right? And Mitchell stood his ground. He did not flee. He did not, if he had done that, I think not only would he have been killed, but the odds of many people being very injured in the situation would have been astronomical. You know, that

rhino would have just gone bonkers. And yeah, Mitch held his cool. And the second that rhino left, he just broke down with that adrenaline rush. And it was honestly, it was, the whole thing was just an incredible moment. It doesn't get cooler than that. Mitch, it's too bad we cut it all out of the show. Yeah, I was going to say, you're making sure. Mitch, though, I got a question that some of our fans, we call them Brostner's, have been asking. Okay, all right. They want to know, you know, how did you, seeing this scary-ass story you're telling us, how did you, what made you want to get into like this insane wildlife, you know,

photography type job? You know, I, I've always had a tremendous love for animals. Okay. And I love traveling. Yeah. I love adventure stuff. So, you know, obviously, doing. this stuff that I do with Forrest is, you know, it makes sense.

That's, unfortunately, it's easier said than done. Like that job just, that doesn't come around, you know, every so often. Right. Yeah, you got to, you got to blow a lot of people to get with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No. No. No. So I, I was, I was fortunate where I, you know, I was able to get, I was able to, you know, be able to do this stuff with Forest, but it's, you know, it's, it's, it's not, it's not one of those things, it's, it's tricky. It's not, you know, you don't, you don't look at it, like, it's, like, there are, there are a lot of times that I'm working with, Forrest,

that I, I accept the fact that, like, this, it's something that I might die doing. For sure. But at the end of the day, you know, at the end of the day, I trust Forrest, I trust the people I work with. I trust people like Patrick who are there to make sure that I'm safe. Like, you know, I, I'm trust, I'm trustful in the process, so I'm able to do these types of things. But like I, you know, I don't know. I don't, I think there was a, I, when I started my career, I didn't think I'd be doing what I'm doing now. Right. Sure. And I thought I'd be, you know, when I started, I was doing more the, like, deadly job type shows, like the Axemen's and Wicked Tuna and all those types of, that type of stuff. And I never saw myself doing what I do with

Forrest. And when I finally got to you what I do with Forrest, it was like, all right, that's it. I don't know. There's nothing else. How did you guys all, uh, come together. So when Extincter Alive first came to be, once the pilot got picked up to a season, we had a guy who was going out in the field and running the shoots, because I wasn't going out in the first season.

And so Mitch was someone that he had worked with a bunch. So the introduction was made through a third party. And then that guy moved on to do other stuff. and then Mitch and Forrest had already become friends, and Mitch was like the second cast member of the show at that point. He still is. So real quick, Forrest, you've been charged by a hippo, right? Yep.

What's the two-word thing that you do if you're charged by a hippo? Duck and dive. Okay, but don't you kind of zigzag? Yeah, that's what I mean. Duck and dive. Cry and shit. Yeah. Yeah, no, if you run in a straight line,

they are much faster than you, but if you can kind of zigzag get behind something, one time I got behind a termite mound and that managed to let him continue going straight and not curve over to me. So yeah, that's, you move around. Okay. What if a rhino charges you? Now, Mitch was way too close. It would have been on him in a second. Right. But what, what if you're, you know, what if you have enough, you're 50 feet away and a rhino starts charging you? What do you do? Best thing you can do is up a tree. So, like, when we were in that situation, Mitch had nothing to go up. He said there were twigs. I literally had both my hands, like, up on this high branch ready to just do, like, a muscle up into the tree if he started coming.

And I was like, you know, Mitch is a goner, so I'm going to at least get up in this tree. Yeah, we don't need multiple casualties. One is plenty. Right, right. One person's got to die, whatever. Two people, that's, you know. Yeah. So, yeah.

So with a hippo, you want to kind of zigzag. You know, with the rhino, they're much more maneuverable. And I hope nobody's in any of these situations ever, by the way. But with a rhino, yeah, up a tree is the best that you can hope for. And it's funny because even while we were there, I don't remember if you were there for this exact moment or not, Mitch. But the area we wear has a lot of poaching incursions and a lot of rhinos getting killed. And there were a couple baby rhinos in an orphanage. And the guy went in to feed one.

You remember that? Yeah. And the one baby rhino, I don't have the video. I'd send it to W. He started charging the guy in the cage. And he like kind of ran around a tree and then jumped up into a tree and was like joking around with it. Yeah, and this little rhino was like shaking his head trying to get the guy. And by the way, a little rhino is not like, you know, it's not like a little Labrador.

It's still like a 600-pound animal that was chasing him around the pen. It was pretty funny. Speaking of hippos, another brosner said that who had the idea of putting the hippo head on the boat? Shit was genius. One of their favorite scenes. Oh, in the Madagascar episode. In the Madagascar. Patrick?

I don't know whose idea was that. No, that was Forrest. I remember sitting at the same table I'm sitting at in my last house and having the conversation with Forrest before we went to Madagascar and him pitching that idea as something you wanted to do. Basically, so the way the show gets made is Forrest does a fucking ton of work during the pre-production of like, where do we go, what can I do? And then there's a guy named Stephen Rockmail,

who's a legend. The Rock. Yeah. AKA the Rock, who wears Hawaiian shirts every single day. He's probably about 60. He has long hair from the 80s, but he's the best. He's amazing at his job. The kiss people, what are they called?

Yeah, he's Kiss Army. He's Kiss Army. He's Kiss Army. He's Kiss Army for life. Kiss Army. But so then we have to go to Stephen Rockmail and say, okay, so he need to get us a toy boat and a fake hippo head to meet us in Madagascar. Correct.

And he's never once said why, ever. No, never. He's never questioned it, ever. No. He's just like, yep, I'll figure that out. Yeah. He knows too well because the explanation is not worth it. He's like, oh, whatever.

It's like the birthday cake guy in that cave. You're going to go, can you trek back 20 miles to get a birthday cake? Oh, yeah. Mitch, we told that story about how you guys surprised me with the birthday cake in Vietnam in the cave. Oh, yeah. In the middle of the cave in the middle of nowhere. That's crazy.

Before we get too far off the topic of hippos, there's an awesome piece of news that just came out yesterday that I absolutely love. So Patrick and Mitch, they both know this. I have this obsession with this single population of hippos. So Pablo Escobar, famed drug lord, when he was ruling Colombia, Retep, he brought in the, I think it was something like eight hippos to Colombia to, like live in the garden ponds of his ridiculous cocaine estate. Right. Well, you know, Pablo Escobar got iced and eight hippos escaped in the in the 1980s, right? Of course. In 2012, when the last kind of like official study was down, there was like 35 hippos living in the in the Magdalena Basin, you know, which is a lot. Like 35 hippos, you know, from eight like they're breeding. But this is what gets so crazy. That was the last time like a study was done, right? So as of like yesterday 2020, they went and did they went and did some population estimates to see what's going on. these hippos, there's now somewhere between 85 and 90 living in this like 2,000 square kilometer area. But where it gets even crazier is these animals, yeah, so there's now like

85, 90 of these hippos in Colombia, but they don't have a natural predator, right? So their population is just growing exponentially, and it's estimated that in the next five to ten years, their population could swell to be around 1,500 hippos basically taking over the Amazon jungle from Pablo Escobar's like cocaine pets. All right, so here's a broologist question. How does that affect the natural species and natural way of life that things are there?

If you introduce a hippo into the Amazon, how does that affect everything else that is there? Like anacondas and caymans and... Yep. Whatever else? Well, first of all, we don't know because it's never been done before. It's never. Yeah. So all we can do is take guesses.

But, you know, hippos are important to African ecology because they widen rivers, right? The way they move through rivers, it widens them. They pick and eat all the vegetation off the riverbanks. It makes rivers wider. They're seed dispersers because they eat all this vegetation and then they do the little shit tail spin thing that we always talk about on this pot. So they're going to have some massive effects. You know, anacondas came in.

piranha, all these things, don't know what the fuck a hippo is, right? And they're going to be stomping on them and they're going to be, it's just like, it's a mess. And when we think of invasive species, we think of like a rabbit or a snail or a cane toad or something. You're talking about these gargantuan hippos invading the Amazon and their population just being totally out of control because it's like, it's got to be hippo paradise, right? There's no lions. There's no, there's no elephants. There's no crocodiles. There's nothing that could mess them up in any way, shape, or form.

There's unlimited food. There's like an incredible environment. It's hippo heaven. Well, I think about this too. No predators. In the wild, the unchecked, the average female hippo will have 15 to 20 offspring during her life. Wow. So that is, think about an exponential growth.

Yep. Yeah. If every female that's alive now has 15 to 20 hippos and then each of them have 15 to 20 hippos, you're talking about this exponential growth of the hippos. hippo population with tons of food and no predators. In a pretty small area, too. You said, like, just two-go-old-scan-go-old. It's just going to keep growing and growing, too.

But, you know, this is a 4,000-pound animal that, you know, everybody knows this. Like, I think is the most terrifying animal, basically, in the world when you come to face-to-face with one. Like, they're going to cause havoc. Like, they are going to be a real problem at this point. So something is going to have to be done by the Colombian government, I'm sure. But it's just, the whole story is just wacky. I mean, just drug cocaine hippos and exponential overtay.

I mean, it's just wild. Oh, sorry, go ahead, Peter. No, I just said it is. That's it. Oh, so here's something I'd like to talk about while we have Mitch on. Yeah. So we did one of our, for those of you listening on iTunes, we do the podcasts or videos. You can watch them on YouTube.

We do a daily video every day with different topics. One of the ones we talked about a couple weeks ago, it's one of our dailies, was when we explored Sondong K. in Vietnam, the biggest cave in the world. There's a rainforest in the middle of it. Crazy enough, I was one of the nights we were camping inside the cave. I was sleeping in a tent next to Mitch.

And very hard to sleep because the sound reverberates in this cave. And you could just, you know, there was, we had us, we had the porters that were helping carry some of the gear. And so you hear snoring, you hear every noise. If someone rolls over in their sleeping bag, you hear it. Yeah. Brutal, brutal to fall asleep.

I finally fall asleep like a couple hours before we had to get up. I'm in a deep slumber and all of a sudden I hear a scream. And I wake up, I dart up. And I realize that someone is attacking our director of photography, Mitch, in the tent next to me. That's what was happening. He's screaming, get the fuck out. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of my tent.

But screaming it. Like bloody murder. So I reach frantically in the pitch black dark. I'm feeling around. I grab my buck knife out of my pack. And I start to unzip my tent. And then a light flicks on. I can see it through the side of my tent.

And it's in Mitch's tent. And I just see his silhouette. And he's sitting up in his tent. So I'm seeing his silhouette through my tent and through his tent. And then I just hear him go, he had what is called a night terror oh wow wow have you heard of this Reteb

do you know what a night terror is Retepe I don't know if it's night terror or there's another thing called parisomnia that I think I might have but it's basically one of those things where you come out of a dream you know if you fall asleep

you're having a dream you come out of that dream and there's like a there's like a minute to a minute and a half span where you think it's still happening, but it's reality. You know, so in my dream, in my dream that night where Patrick was sleeping right next to, like, I was in my tent, he was in the one next to me. In my dream, there was a bunch of, I don't know why, but there was a bunch of children attacking me. And I was, I don't know, I was freaking out.

Like, they were like, coming at me with nice, like, I'm going to kill you. I just, yeah. They were like, it was like a, it was like a, you're going to die. type situation with children they were going to kill me. So I'm screaming, I'm screaming. Just thinking, like, I don't attack anyone, but if I just

verbally just assault these children, then they'll go away. Meanwhile, this is up stopping. I'm screaming. I'm screaming. Get that fuck it. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure there's some porters that are still

telling this story to this day. And what's so funny from my perspective RETAP is, like, I've known Patrick a long time. He's not a good sleeper, right? He has to have been a nightmare of a baby. So have Mitch on one end of the tents and like Patrick, two tents, you know, over. And just Mitch is like screaming bloody murder with his night terrors. And Patrick, I assume, is just quivering in fear holding his buck knife.

I'm an adrenaline guy, man. Like, I'm like. Yeah, true, true. No, you're not an earthquake. There was an earthquake once years ago. I was at an ex's place sleeping. And we went through a pretty big earthquake in L.A. and the door to the room was rattling.

And, like, you know, I go from dead sleep to, like, running to the door and, like, opening the door with my fist cocked, because I didn't realize it was an earthquake. And, like, for two years, she was like, yeah, you're fucking nuts. Like, you need help. Well, let's not forget the earthquake that we all experienced in Ecuador. I was going to say, Patrick. Yeah.

Patrick did not react that way during the earthquake in Ecuador, because during that one, he didn't react at all. You, you, I'm pretty sure the entire earthquake I watched you, and you, you didn't miss a sip out of your, it was like a rattling sip. It was like a vodka orange juice or something that really not a single drop like came out. It was like,

yeah. My favorite part of that was the cook or the guy behind the bar that bar that barge through the two-way door and just flattened you, Mitchell. And then literally ran over. over your back to get out of the building. And we were just looking at each other like, what's he doing? The entire place is rattling. And I'm casually like, oh, this is probably not good.

I'm casually drinking like. And this guy comes out of nowhere, bust out of the kitchen, hits the door, knocks me out the way. My drink goes flying. I'm like, what the hell? People are frantic. Everybody's running around like it's the end of the world. meanwhile like Patrick and I are just in the in the bar like drinking like what the hell is everybody so like concerned about like it's an earthquake yes but like why the hell is everyone like and like honestly like the scariest far of that entire situation for me wasn't the fact that it was like I don't even know like a seven point whatever earthquake or seven point five yeah seven point five massive it was a seven point five earthquake it was actually like it was the first time of my life where like you could walk you could literally look around and see

things shaking and moving. It was that bad. But it would scare me the most of the entire situation. Wasn't the fact that it was an earthquake we could die. It was everyone else. It was everyone else's reaction. You know what scared me the most? They freaked the fuck out.

And it was just like Patrick and I were just like drinking like, guys, it's an earthquake. Like until like shit's falling out of the ceiling, like let's just all stay calm. You literally reached over the bar and helped yourself to a drink when it happened. You did. You did. The bartender left, and I was like, all right, well, thank you. I want to tell you real quick what scared me the most about that situation. I think Patrick's going to back me up here, is who took charge?

Do you remember who took charge when we left? Well, that's what I was just about to say. It was the guy who worked at the chicken stand. Yeah, at the KFC stand, the guy got up on top of his, like, KFC cart and was like, everybody, calm down and started, like, directing people where to go. Well, he was just saying leave. He was like, leave the airport, and we're sitting in the lounge. And the guy comes in.

No. All the employees have left. And so we're like, okay, so we just started pouring more drinks naturally. And then the chicken guy comes in, and he's like telling us to leave. He's no, slow get out of here. And Forrest just goes, he was like, you know, in Spanish, he's basically like, thank you, thank you. And the guy's like, no, like, leave. And he's like, sorry, chicken, man, we're not leaving.

I mean, the guy worked in the chicken cart. Like, he was not taking charge of that situation. No, there was, we were about to board an eight-hour flight. Yeah. We had a lot of drinking to do. We'd just found the Fernandina Island Tortoise. This was our one chance to celebrate before we got on a plane. Nobody had slept.

We were like, we're going to have five or six screwdrivers and act like gentlemen. That's right. And no 7.5 earthquake's going to stop that from happening. Was your flight delayed? Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah. Well, so then eventually someone came and basically told us we'd be arrested if we didn't go out under the tarmac.

Yeah, that's basically what happened. Forrest pulls out his JBL Bluetooth speaker and starts blasting techno music. And it's so early in the morning, it's pitch black. And we had been traveling from the Galapagos to mainland Ecuador. Literally, we'd been up for like 36 hours straight. Oh, yeah. So we're like double-fisting screwdrivers on the tarmac. pitch black, like, dancing.

And I'm sure that's why everyone hates Americans. Yeah, that was bad. Yep, yep. We earned it. Licking donuts. We had a good time. Mitch, was a great time.

Do you like your job working with Patrick and I and traveling around the world? No. No, I'm serious. Do you like it? Is this something you'd recommend to somebody? Brosners are, people are always hitting me up. You know, how do I do what you do? How do I get involved?

Blah, blah, blah. But I swear, probably the number two, number three question I get is, is I want to be the next Mitch. Like, I want to be the guy behind the camera that comes with. How do I get there? Does he love it? Does he hate it? Like, what's the story?

How do you feel about it? It's, I mean, there's no, if I could tell you a specific formula to get to where I've been, I would. The problem is, is that I can't. You know, I, one, every, every person's life is different than the next. You, I made decisions that led me to, one person that led me to this job that led me to, Forrest and Patrick and now I get to do this kind of stuff. It's not as simple as just being like, well, if you go to college here and you do this, then you get to do this one day.

It doesn't really work like that. The best advice I can give anyone, if they really want to do what I do, they really want to travel and shoot animals, it's just go start doing it. Just go, just go be that person. My whole thing was for a long time I was doing action. Axeman and Wicked Tuna and Iceberg Truckers, all these different, you know, all these different shows. And for the longest time, I was just doing these domestic type, basic, you know, white, you know, blue collar type shows. And that was, yeah, these reality shows.

And that was, that was fine. But the minute my career transformed from being that type of person to travel was when I, I did it for myself, you know, so I started going on three months long. trips to Europe and I would backpack over Europe and take all kinds of videos and shoot all kinds of different things and I would go to South America and shoot all kinds of different things. And then eventually I just became known as the travel guy and like, oh, well, if you want to travel, you know, Mitch is your guy. So my recommendation, if like if somebody is watching this and they're like, I want to do what you do, my recommendation would be just go do it. Just start the career.

just go out and start going on adventures and filming these different things and filming animals and then eventually if you become good enough at it someone will recognize that and hire you I was fortunate where I knew some people that knew some people that you know through through one person to another person I eventually met Forrest and Patrick so I was fortunate but that's not always the case you know it's I but my My recommendation would be just go do it. Just go be that person that travels. Is it fulfilling to be able to do the kind of work you do with a camera and go where you go?

I'm serious. All jokes aside. It's the most rewarding career I think anyone could ask for. I mean, for me, I love animals. I love traveling. So to be able to travel and shoot animals. And not only that, but like that's great. But the biggest thing for me is being able to do that with people that I genuinely love being around and love working.

Can deal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I, like, I might, I might spark to kick, I like, you might spar to kick me into a pool in Vietnam. But at the end of the day, like, if you watch that video closely, if you scrub that video, I get spartickeeked into that pool. and the minute I come up, I'm smiling. And it's because it's, at the end of the day, it's just fun.

Like, no matter how mad you get, how angry, no matter frustrated, that doesn't matter. At the end of the day, you are traveling the world with some of your best friends doing a job that people would kill through. It's funny. It's extremely fortunate, you know. That's awesome, Mitch. I just went for a run before we started recording. And as I was running, I don't know what, you know, your mind wanders when you're just jogging, right?

Like you start thinking about shit, whatever. And I started thinking about the audio that got leaked of Tom Cruise freaking out on the crew on Mission Impossible and screaming at them. I'll have you fired and like, blah, blah. And I was thinking about it. I was like, those guys probably make more money than I do, whoever's getting screamed at on Mission Impossible 17. Sure.

But I was like, just the thought of someone treating me or something, someone else on a set that I was on that way, and that being the culture and that being, and you're making just this movie that, yeah, people will enjoy, they'll spend two hours their lives watching, but, like, that's not going to inspire anyone to do anything. You're just going to zone out and go, that's cool. And I was thinking, like, how does it get to a point where that's okay on a set, and that's how people act? Well, I could answer that.

No. I could answer that a little bit. Yeah, I can go ahead. Go ahead. You know, here we are. Mitch is telling us how he loves his career, and it's the most awe-inspiring, you know, passionate thing that he could do, and it's fulfilling and rewarding.

And he, you know, he loves to work with these good people. I don't know who they are. Patrick, you're, you know, in a sense, we're all friends, let's be honest here. But in a sense, you know, you are and have been Mitch's boss on certain projects. Sure. How would you feel if you knew that, you know, your camera-op maybe didn't treat his equipment particularly nicely? Would you be upset by that? WT. Willie, would you pull up a little clip I sent you earlier today?

So what I've got here is some leaked footage, similar to said Tom Cruise footage. Okay. Now, in full disclosure, I don't actually know what you're about to show. No, I know you don't. You've never seen this. I'm not kidding. This is the real deal. This is big time.

So I suggest you go full screen, Patrick, little plus in the top right hand corner. For those of you listening at home, I kind of forgot we were doing a podcast. This is never-before-seen footage. of Mr. Director of Photography, Mitchell Long, aka the Tom Cruise of reality television. I'm not going to say more, because I want Patrick to see this for the first time. I wanted to see where his hard-earned dollars and equipment go.

So we'll make sure the audio's on and let's run it back. Okay, that's his. He just wanted to be a baker. So what we've just seen is, that's the Bahamas, I'm assuming. Look at how beautiful it is, too, that back. I was going to say, so what we've just seen is a beautiful video. someone filmed on their cell phone of Mitch and Forrest

arguing and then Mitch spikes a camera into the ground and then throws it into the sand. My presumption, because I know you guys too well, is that that camera had already shit his pants.

Very well done, sir. That camera was bricked and you guys are dickheads. Very well done, sir. Very well done. The, uh, the, that camera had been, used in Borneo about two weeks

Yeah this is the truth about what happened The whole charge It was full of bees All right so on most episodes of Exchangeover alive Patrick you know Forrest you know But on most episodes

We're like to send Forrest out With a personal diary cam That way he can film himself Do his own thing blah blah So we always have like a handy cam Looking thing where he can film himself Right

For a nice 4K You know good But it's compact camera. Decent camera, right? So Forrest and I are in Borneo, and him and I, like, you know, before, like, one night, late, he's like, hey, do you want to get up early, like, 3 a.m. with me and go out and, like, look for a monkey. You know, look for the Langer, which is the Miller-Sgriller Langer, which we ended up finding. On X in July. We ended up, he wanted to go out one early morning and look for that, you know, that Langer.

So we go out early one morning. we head out into the woods and he you know we set up with this whole like base camp like looking thing. Blind. Yeah, a blind. Yeah, sorry. So he's kept this whole blind and Forrest has his I'm filming Forrest right. So there's no reason forrest should have filmed himself. I got my camera

out. I have a red you know, narcissistic. Really nice. Filming him. Anyways, at some point Forrest is like I think I want to do some like diocam stuff in case like we don't want to use the footage Like, what if I'm just, whatever? So he's got his diary cam. And I'm, like, doing something else.

And he's got his diary cam out. He's filming himself. Oh, look at me. And all of a sudden, I hear, like, a thud. And I, like, pan my head over. And for us he's just sitting there like, oh, sorry, nothing happened. And I'm like, what was that, what was that thud I heard? And he's like, that was nothing.

I'm like, where did the camera go? And he's like, I, he's like, I, he's like, I dropped the camera. And so Forrest and I had, we had positioned ourselves, like, in a high spot, looking down at this area where we thought these monkeys or langers would come into this one specific area. So he, we had picked a specific spot, but it was up on a cliff, above a bunch of stuff, and then going down was probably, like, probably, like, 20 feet, and it just led down to a creek. So Forrest is filming himself.

I'm doing something else, and I was starting here, a thud, thud, I look back, and he, he's sitting there like, nothing happened. And I'm like, where did the camera go? And he was like, what camera? And I'm like, the camera I just handed you. Like, where did it go? And he was like, I don't, I don't know. What do you mean?

What camera? I'm like, force, I literally, like, two minutes ago, I handed you a camera. I said, film yourself if you want to. I have my camera here. And when I turn back now, all of a sudden, there's no camera. And you're sitting here giving me a blank stare. And so I peer over the side of this cliff And about 30 feet down in a giant pool of water

Is my camera just sitting like destroy in a camera And I look at him, I'm like I'm like, are you kidding? Drop it down there, you dumbass? How did you do that? He was filming himself in the face. He basically was filming himself And then he was done and he put it on his backpack

And then he moved and it just like tumbled down the whole thing Landed in this pool of water. and I was just like, you know I'm going to get shit for this. Like, Patrick, like, they're all going to be mad. Like, we just destroyed a camera, and he was just like, eh, like, whatever, just pull the car. Oh, he's, that's the thing that a lot of people don't realize about Forrest is that when you guys are in the field or when we're all in the field together and there's a problem from back home, he's just like, fuck him, fuck it. Let's go. Like, guys, we have a plane that it's going to be.

like 15 grand if we miss this flight. He's like, I don't give a shit. Let's go. Mission critical. I get pretty focused. Mitch, which is really you have to do, man. Yeah, it's fun. Could you beat up?

Patrick DeLuca. The people want to know who would win in a fight between Rootep. Who's actually asked this? Anyone retap or just you? No, nobody has asked this. The guy who put an ad in the newspaper about the Wild Times wants to know. Matt McHugh?

Matt McHugh? Who would not fight between who? Mitch, you and Pat? Who would win? Who would win? Oh, Patrick, for sure. Really? Here's what I'd say.

Mitch is younger. He's probably more athletic and anger. Very athletic. You guys look like brothers, actually. It would be tough. It'd be a tough one for both of us. Hey, what is Ashley doing? What is your fiancé doing there, Mitch?

She's clinking and clankinging a lot. She just walked up and. into the, she, oh, she stopped. She's, she's just walking up the stairs now. Patrick's anxiety is going through the roof. Is she, wait, is she mad at me now that I said that? This is great. She's literally like, she looked at me like, I'll kill Patrick.

Yeah, shit. There goes that wedding invite. Congratulations on your recent engagement, Mitch. That's pretty cool. Hey, also, by the way, very underrated thing to say is that when you do what Mitch or Forrest or I or anyone does, you have to find a significant other that's okay with you just being like so right to move to Africa for that's not easy that's not easy it's not yeah for sure

Retepp will never have to do that because he's he sits his supple ass in a chair all day long yeah he's never left I go around the block I jog occasionally and Taco Bell and Jess is a saint so Forrest doesn't count because it's insane That's true. Yeah. Of course, do you have a girlfriend? I do, yeah. Very serious one.

Oh, okay. All right, guys, by the way, happy Monday, everybody. I want to say something that's very important. Mitch, this will be your first time hearing it. It's time. Oh, boy. Oh, it's time. What's it time for us?

Battle Royale. Yes. We don't have a sound of food. Facts budget, Mitch, in case you couldn't tell. Let's just have you actually come down in jail. Why would I may be able to tell after that? All right, we're going back to the old school style battle royale. People fucking love

the battle royale. That's great. If someone could stop stirring Mitch at your house, that would be fucking great. No one's doing... Is she using a mortar and pestle to make like a homemade mint julep? How hard are you guys?

No. Wow. Is she calling a cat? By clinking a dish. Clicking a pen through 40 episodes. You really want to see what it is. Hold on, ready? For those on YouTube, Mitch will now show us.

What is it? I'm seeing a TV. Okay. Oh, I see. It's a dog licking its ball. An adorable dog. All right. So here we go.

Here's the scenario, guys. Old school, classic battle royale. Snake draft. Mitch is going to go last because we'll give him some time to settle in. Makes sense. Here's what you're going to do. You've got to pick. You get three choices.

Okay. You've got to pick legs for, so mobility. How does this thing get around? What does its body look like and what does its head look like? Right? So you've got legs, body, head. Three different animals that exist, not extinct animals. Okay.

You have to. Here's your challenge. You have to build a creature that is insanely adorable. It's the cutest animal you can think of. But, but when it gets angry, it is also terrifying. The old gremlin saga. Yeah, boy. So you've got to find a really cute animal,

but if it gets angry, it turns into a gremlin, and you are fucking terrified of this thing. Three parts, three animal parts. Yep, three animal parts. Legs or arms. Yep, head body legs. All right, For us, since you're the broologist, I'm going to challenge you with going first

so that Retepp can Google some things, and Mitch can stop stirring his Manhattan. Okay, okay, I like this game. I like this game. I am going to go, I'm going to start this off with the body. The body parts. Cute body, cute body. Yep, and I'm going to base this on an experience

that Mitchell and I had in Borneo, where we rescued the cutest animal I've ever seen, the slow laris. But when we tried to take it out of its little enclosure to let it go, it turned into the most terrifying gremlin creature that I've ever seen. So that's not my answer in total, but I've experienced this. So I'm going with the body and venom that the slower or else has in its little claws. Or no, no, it's in its teeth, isn't it? Saliva.

Yeah, not going to be very scary without that venom boy. That's true. That's very true. It's in its fur. No, no. No, I'm good. I'm going to stick with it. I'm just going to go to the head

because I need the venom. So that adorable little face that W.T. Willie has pulled up there on our YouTube. I'm going to go with the head of a slow laris. Okay. So Forrest took essentially the cutest head of an animal. Yeah. Except for one.

It's kind of bullshit, but whatever. Which is my, it's, since I'm going next. Forrest, you did a good job. You picked the second cutest animal head. I'm going to pick the cutest animal head. Damn it. the most kissable animal head where you just can't help yourself. Even if it's someone else's pet, you would just kiss it right on the lips.

I'm going to take the adorable head of a dick-dick. Ooh, very cute. A dick-dick. For those of you don't know what a dick-dict is, treat you. There's no C in that, Retep. When you're Googling, there is no C in that word. That's D-I-K-D-K. I'm going to take it.

It's probably what? Yeah. Oh, okay, there's the Loras. Look at that dick-dick head on YouTube for those of you. It's very cute. but definitely not dangerous in any way, shape, or form. I will compensate for that with my head and arms. So my head is the adorable little horned head with the big eyes of a dick.

It's gorgeous. That's nice. Retsup, you're up. One pick. Forrest definitely stole my slow Loris, which is fucking annoying. You didn't know what that was until seven minutes ago. You were going to do a slow Loris? I thought about a slow Loris and how cute it is and venomous.

Yeah, like 30 times on this podcast. I should have known. That's true. That's true. I cannot pick that or a dick dick. I will be picking the cutest animal head in existence. And that's Mitch's head. My animal will have Mitch's head.

God, he does this every time. We know in the body of herpes. And the body of herpes and fucking Ebola for the legs. No, Mitch is very cute. Very cute. Wow. Okay. All right. You're an utter buffoon.

So Mitch, you play fantasy football. You know what a snake draft is. So you're up for two picks. So two of your three, legs, body, head. What are you going to go with? Wait, so what do I have to pick first? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Any of the very hard. Just whatever you are worried someone else might steal from you in this challenge. All right. I'm taking, of all the things, Forrest and I've done, animal related, the cutest little thing I can think of. That would be my, the head of the cutest thing would be the Galapagos for seal. Oh. That's a power pick. Well, pull off a picture.

He's got to be a picture. I really had one holding. He was really weighing down my tripod. I was trying to film on the Globacian Islands of Bernadina. I got you. Can you do a screen share? Hold on. Look at that.

He, those little things. This is my background. I don't know if you guys are getting a screen share. That's my background of Mitch's picture. Mitch, you took that one, right? Yeah, that's the one. That's it. So just a quick 10 second aside, when Forrest was found the Fernandida Island tortoise,

we were on an island called Fernandina Island, which is the most protected of the Galapagos Islands. Most of the animals there have never seen a human being. So they just thought we were part of their deal. Yeah, yeah. They could not have been less, like, cautious of us. Much like Mitch's dog currently is licking his face. Like we were, we were just swimming around, just these pups were just playing with us. One of the coolest moments of my life, I will never forget it.

Mitch, what's your next pick? You got the head of a first deal. That's a power of thing. And then the body or what do I go next to the body or whatever you like, up to your legs, doesn't matter. To you, pal. You're hammered. But remember, when it gets mad, it has to be really fucking scary.

Right. You going to get skipped? Honestly, an animal that I've always been just. I don't know why that I've been terrified of is like a gorilla, like a silverback gorilla from the Congo. Like I'm really pissed off. This is your adorable pick? Okay. No, this is a scary pick.

This is, yeah, scary pick. Okay. The body of a silverback. Literally face of a Galapagos, a face of a Galapagos first seal with the body of a silverback gorilla. I love it. I like it. path, baby. That's right. I love it.

It's the cutest goddamn thing I could ever think of right now. When you see that thing from far away, you're going to think it got decapitated, and then you get up on it, you're like, God damn, that's cute. Yeah, I want to just tickle its chin. All right. Very nice. Very nice. What are you going to pair with Mitch's

head? That's right. Okay. Okay. So the body of my animal is going to be this. It's one of the cutest fucking animals in the world, but if you fuck with it, it will literally destroy you and claw your fucking face off.

Storn house cat, Persian. Baboon. House cat. You're going with a Persian house cat. Yep. Very cute body. Mitch's head on a Persian house cat, and this is the cutest thing you can come up with.

Of all the creatures on earth, the cutest thing you can. can come up with so far is Mitch's head on a Persian house cat's body. Look at how fucking cute. It almost already looks like Mitch completely. See, here's my concern. This is freakish. This can't be cute.

A human head on a cat's body is disgusting. People are going to stomp on it. No way. I mean, not Mitch's head. They did it in the new Wonder Woman movie. It didn't work out. It didn't work out. It didn't work out.

It didn't do good. You're up. Papa Pee, you're up. I've got a Dick Dick's head. You do. It's already so cute that everyone who sees it is going to go, that's the cutest. Okay, now I've got to make it scary. I'm going to skip the body and wait, a pick, and I'm going to go with the legs.

The mobility of a giant Pacific octopus. Now, here's why I get eight of them. Each leg has 240 suckers. We all know this. Each sucker has a beak in it. So it's super cute. It's got the Dick, Dick's head. But if it gets mad, you now have eight very large legs with 240 suckers each to deal with.

I don't know if you're keeping the cute points there, man. That's pretty slimy. Yeah, it's pretty cute. It's dry. It's dry. It's dry. Fair enough. I'm pretty sure.

I'm pretty sure my fur seal slash gorilla tears the shit out of your... Well, these aren't combating animals. That's not this game, just so you know. Well, they're combating in that the Browsoners are going to vote, and whoever loses has to shotgun five beers on the next podcast. You might have to make another guest appearance, Mitch. All right, Forrest. You're up for two more. Very good. I'm up for two.

So I have the undeniably adorable head of a slow laris. And I'm trying to keep this thing as as magui as I can, as cute and fluffy and adorable as I can. But boy, don't get it wet because it's going to rip you to shreds. Don't feed it after midnight unless you're a lunatic. Exactly, exactly. So I'm putting the head of my slow lorris on the point. body of the seemingly adorable giant river otter. Now, when you look at a giant river otter, you're like, wow, it's cute, it's slender,

it's got this incredible physique. You try, I am telling you people, the most difficult, terrifying creature on earth to try and wrangle or deal with is a pissed off otter. The way their spines are like wet noodles and they can just fucking maneuver, all musselids, all weasel family can just maneuver in any direction at any time, that thing will rip you to Shreds. And aren't they, aren't they like rapist, right?

Aren't otters, like real pieces of shit? Mostly sea otters, but, but, you know, there's a tinge of rape in there. You know, we won't really push that on air, but yeah, it's a little tinge. There's a good.

All right, so Forrest, you have the body of a sea otter. Yep. The head of a slow, loris. Yeah. What, how's, how's it going to get around? Now, this creature,

this, this adorable thing that you look at and go, oh, I want one, is going to have the features, the mobility features of a cassowary. So you're going to look at this thing. You're like, it's so cute. It's adorable. It's got this cylindrical body, these eyes that are incredible. And then it's just going to kill you in every fucking aspect. It's got the head of a slow laris packed with venom, incurable, the body of a giant river otter, so it can just move all around you and just rip you to shreds. And then the talons of a cassowary. It'll just gut you like a fish when it's upset.

And yeah, there you go. Those guys. Those are disgusting. All right. Yeah. The problem here is that you've built an abomination. I have. It is not cute.

You can't just slap a cute head on two giant teradactal legs and the body of a river under. It's a mess. It's not a hard thing for you. ever done in my opinion. We will see. We will see. We will see. I feel good about this.

I feel good. So Forrest has that thing. Mine makes a lot more sense. So I've got the tiny adorable horned head of a dick-dick. Yep. I've got eight very powerful giant Pacific octopus legs. Okay. So I've got my, it's scary thing taken care of.

Because when those legs and arms come to life, you're in big, big trouble. So I need to give it a really cute body. Here's my body that I'm going to give it What's the hallmark sign of a cute body of an animal? You want to get it a little, yeah, fluffy. You want to give it a little scratch on the belly, right? Yeah, yeah. A hamster.

You don't scratch your hamster. They will bite you, sir. I'm going to take the body of a very young puppy French bulldog. Well, a little wrinkly, chubby, little pup body. A little wrinkly chubster. And you think mine's in. an abomination. You have a French bulldog with octopus arms coming out of it. That's terrifying.

But like I'm picturing the way it would sleep on the couch is it would tuck its arms underneath the little body and you kind of wouldn't see that until it's angry and then it goes, yeah. Okay. So I won. Okay. You think you did. You think you did.

The brocners will let us know. So Retep, you've got Mitch's head on a cat. Yeah. So this is an utter mess. All of your animals are nonsense. Except to yours. Except to yours. of course. I made a mistake, though, in my description. So I said that my, you know, my cat or my Mitch head cat body, but I explained that the claws would be very sharp. So it's the

mobility of the cat, right? Of the Persian cat. We'll give you that. We'll clarify that. So you've got the legs of a cat, so to speak. So the body then is going to be that of one of the cutest animals, but very dangerous to touch a porcupine. That's right. That's pretty good. So Mitch's head on a porcupine body with Persian cat feet. I think that's cute. I think I've just

brought it home. Are you going to try pet it? You're going to try and pet that? I could scratch it under its chin. I'm just saying you don't want to make it angry. I don't know. I don't know about petting it. Because here's my problem, Retep, you have no cute factor. You have a human head, which is

He's the cute factor. I mean, we're not in eighth grade. I'm not talking about how cute Mitch is. Well, I am. So fuck off. Apparently. All right, Mitch, what do you want to add to your abomination? I saw, I'm confused.

So I have the, I have that head of a fur seal. You do. Cuteness of a pro seel. And I have the silverback gorilla features what? The body, I believe. The body. But you don't have any legs yet. You have no legs and arms on this thing.

You have no appendages, man. Giraff. Done. Boom. That is a cock-heavy creature. All right. Boom. Blue seal.

Giraff. Yeah. Fur seal. Giraff. And the silverback gorilla. You're so tanked. Yeah. That's an animal you lose 11 times out of 10.

I hope a Milky Way of Life decides to bring these creatures to the big screen and build them like she used to in the early days of the pod. Because these will be unbelievable. So let's run it back. Let's run it back. Go ahead for us. Do you know. We need your help. This might be the hardest battle royale in the history of battle royals. It's all over the place.

It was a challenge. It's a hell of a challenge. What we're trying to do here is create the Mogwai slash gremlin. The creature that up close or from far is adorable, but if you piss it off, it's going to rip you to shreds. We need you to tell us who won. It's the only way we ever know who won because we will argue about our creatures till death. So you need to go on to iTunes. There's a clear answer, people.

Interesting. Interesting. You need to go onto iTunes, ladies and gentlemen, Browsner's, go on to YouTube. In the comments, let us know who won, was it? Peters, adorable Mitch head on the body of a porcupine with the legs of a Persian house cat. For some reason, he thinks that's going to rip you apart. He also thinks it's the cutest animal in creation. Couldn't tell you why.

Patrick brought his A-game today with the head of a dick-dick. Unbelievably adorable, and that's Dick, Dick, no sees, if you're Googling that. Good choice. The body of a baby French bulldog, wrinkly, cute, very sweet with the Dick Dick head, and the eight tentacle-laden arms of a giant Pacific octopus that will wrap you up and just, I assume, just pull your eyeballs out of your head. So much power, yeah. A lot going on.

Mitch brought to the table something that's, I mean, Patrick called my creature an abomination. Mitch's is, it's something. That's a problem. He's got, I think he took it early in the game with the head of a baby Galapagos first seal. He then started to back pedal when he went with the body of a silverback gorilla. Less cute. More, more, more, more abominable snow. And then he put it on the gangly legs of a giraffe.

So this is a very large top. Have you ever seen a giraffe run in the wild? They're beautiful. That's true. It is majestic. It's going to be a majestic image. That's true. A first sail, silverback giraffe is a beautiful.

It's something. So give him a vote if you vote for him. Or, ladies and gentlemen, if you're smart, you'll go onto one of these platforms and vote for yours. Truly the broologist who's put the adorable yet venomous head of a slow Loris on the body of a giant river otter, this seemingly cute cylindrical animal, with the claws of a cassowary, basically a velociraptor, that from afar is arguably the cute thing you've ever seen, but up close will just rip you into a thousand pieces. Let us know who won. Go on iTunes. go on YouTube, vote. That's important to us. And, you know, we'll give something away if you do that.

If you vote, what will the people win? Retap, what will we give away tonight? Well, we can always give away merch. We still got to do the electric sunglasses. I propose we do that in a daily video next week. We're going to do that in one of the dailies next week. We're going to give away a pair of electric sunglasses. I'll give away some merch for this one.

We'll do a shirt. Of their choosing, how about? Sure. Of course. Yep. Electric sunglasses are on the table for the winner. Not for you, Mitch. You just steal mine on the shoot.

No, that's from a couple weeks ago. I was going to say that, you know, as a regular on your show, I've not gotten a pair of electric sunglasses. Well, that's because you've only listened to 10 minutes. That's because you've never voted, bro. You still love so many of my sunglasses. I've worked before us for three years. I've never gotten to electric sunglasses. I have no comment.

They're pretty dope. Just for the hell of it. We'll throw on one of packs. Anyone who can get those, those are sick. Because even I, even I can't get a pair of, apparently electric. So if you voted on iTunes, check out the YouTube, because we will be announcing it in one of the dailies next week, who won the electric sunglasses.

And then for this one, if you vote for Mitch, you've wasted your vote. But still vote. We are giving away a T-shirt of your choosing. And if you want one with me wearing a suit looking really good. I can probably get an extra for you. Brusters, thanks for joining us. Mitch, it was wonderful having you on the call tonight. This might become more of a regular thing.

You're a treat. You're absolutely hammered. If there's anybody here that doesn't know that, it's very clear. We'll get him a microphone next time he comes on too. I need an actual mic for sure. You said it. Good night. Good night, everybody.

It's fun. Thanks, guys.