Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #42 - Magic Mushroom Injection, Eden Whale Feeding, & Old People Facebook

Episode Date: January 25, 2021

Happy Monday brosteners! This one was recorded live with 100+ brosteners hanging with us! We're talking everything in the title and so much more! We love you!

Hey, we already got 11 likes. We haven't even started yet, boys. Are we on? Is this going? I didn't even know this was going. Live on. We're doing a thing. Going on live.

We're live, baby. Live! What our computer? Wild Times. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Wild Times podcast. This is episode number 42. And if this is your first time joining us, you're a complete nitwit because there are 41 other fantastic episodes of the Wild Times podcast.

a show where myself and two of my closest friends, the broducer and the brofessor, hang out, talk wildlife nonsense, talk a lot of shit, drink a little bit too much, and make science fun, interesting, and engaging. None of this would be happening. If it wasn't for our incredible listeners, aka Brosner, who are joining us live tonight on episode 43. Good evening, everybody. Good evening.

Good evening. Forty-two, mate. How's it really doing? I just shouted episode 42 into your ear. Whatever. Love you. I don't care. We've got quite a few people.

You know, it's doing okay. We got people from Quebec. We got people drinking Heineken. We got people drinking, God knows what. It's good. Moonshine. Yeah, it's all good. What are you guys drinking?

I'm doing a little tequila and lemonade. That's been your thing lately. Like tequila and something not sugary. That's like your new. It's a keel is an upper. You know what I mean? So I like, I like the way it makes me feel, man.

It's an upper room until you black out and pass out and can't get up the next day. I've said this to Patrick many times in many different countries, and I'll say this for all the brosonage to hear, you cannot have a bad time when you're drinking tequila. No one has ever had a bad time drinking tequila. I don't believe you if you say you've had a bad time drinking tequila. It makes you happy. It doesn't make you want to fight or be angry. It just makes you want to take your clothes off as the song goes.

It's a good time, man. It's a good time. It is. Apparently, you didn't get the flannel memo is what people are saying. Well, you're now in a black shirt. Yeah, what's up with that, mate? Or maybe Retef needs to pop off his flannel or wearing black t-shirts. No, Matt.

I'm styling today. I got Matthew Bicanaughey hair going. Looking good. You do. Nice. You do look nice. Well, here's what we've got coming up. What's that?

All right? We're going to do a battle royal. We're going to do a new segment, a new style of factor fiction. That's a new game that we're going to play that only, a Will, Wild Times Willie and I know. Okay. I'm like, what? We are.

I think the broosters are going to love this one. Okay. And we're doing a gem or it could be a fucking disaster, depending on our... It's going to be good. It's going to be good. We'll wait until we finish a cocktail to do that one. And we have coming up another new segment at the very end of the show called Retep's dating tips.

Oh, I forgot about Retep's dating tips. You said you'd have it ready. All right. You said you'd have it ready. Not for fucking news. That's just telling you to get it ready. Yesterday I said that. You think I'm going to be writing all day to?

I'll try. Oh, man, Retefts, dating tips. Cannot wait for that. Listeners from Portugal, Australia, Matt McHugh, who's just taking out ads for us in newspapers, is on the live. I are huge. And for all of you who are not watching on YouTube live and just downloading, let's talk about some science shit.

Shall we for us? Why wouldn't we? That's what we're here to do. Guys, let's get into it. but what's in the news. Papa Pete, you got anything good that's floated across your beautiful mahogany desk this week?

I'm glad you did notice that I got a new one. It's wonderful. Yeah, I did notice one thing. We talked a lot on this podcast about things that may have come from space, right? Octopus, mushrooms.

I saw a story that I enjoyed quite a bit. As Brosner, Willie, or Wild Times Willie wrote it up, a very dumb man I saw it. Decided to basically create an extract of magic mushrooms because simply eating them wasn't doing enough for him. Took some psilocybin mushrooms,

basically boiled them down into an extract, extract, and injected them directly into the old veins. You said estrador and direct, ductwe. Sorry. Dewectwee, yeah, I'm Elmer Fudd today. Hold on. Let him tell us. It's so good.

Shut up mushrooms. Yeah. It's so good. But that didn't work out, guys. What happened? Well, soon after he developed an array of horrid symptoms, his skin turned completely yellow, which is usually not good. That might mean that your liver's failing.

God. He started violently spraying diarrhea out of his bunshole, started puking blood everywhere, and all of his organs, including his lungs, were failing. Christ. He lived. He lived, guys. There's a happy ending, but it was eight days in the ICU. Oh, my God.

But furthermore, did you see the best part of this? My favorite part of this? No, what do you got? The mushroom spores began to grow in his bloodstream. That's why this was happening. That's why he was failing. We've talked so many times about how mushrooms are incredible. Their spores can survive and out of space.

They can colonize new planets, blah, blah, blah, blah. They were growing in this guy's fucking blood. They were just like, oh, this is a, nice, warm, wet environment, exactly what a mushroom needs. Time to fruit and just started growing mycelium into the sky's bloodstream. And of course, that's like something out of alien. Once I starts growing inside of you, it's not, you don't have long. I read the, I was reading this article and I was like, I was like, the, so he must have told

the doctors because they detected, like, they tested for it. They didn't insinuate that he had, like, told them. They just said he was behaving weirdly. and then they found the fungus like in his blood. And I was like, how would they suspect? Like, do you think, would you tell them that you injected yourself with mushrooms if you went to the hospital? If you're in that state, you have to. Well, you'd have to be pretty fucking stupid to begin with to do it.

So, you know, I don't know. Okay, W.T. Willie, I'm going to put you on the spot here. And while we tell this story, see if you can find one of these really short videos of how a fungus, airborne fungus colonizes an ant and turns it in. into another fungus and then it spreads its spores. And the reason I'm asking Will to find that, and he's panicking right now, guaranteed. Corticense, baby.

I know about cortisettes. I'll find it. At a boy. That's a boy. See, I figured Will was taking a shit right now. He's going. He's actually there. But what I,

here's why I want Will to do this. I'm sorry. I am sorry that they saved this guy's life. I am. What? Yeah, I am. Because, because Baby Bird. I wanted to see if these mushrooms were going to take over this guy's body,

and he was just going to start fruiting mushrooms out of every orifice of his body, through his skin, collapse in a lump, turn into mushroom man, spread this fungal thing. This could have been the new fucking mushroom COVID. This could have been bigger. This could have been better. Who knows what could have happened out of this? We could have had a superhero or a villain. Who knows?

Mushroom man. Your buddy Joe Rogan sells a product called Shroom Tech that, is literally made out of those corticeps. They're a very popular, like, supplement. Oh, we've, you've taken them. I've taken them. They're great free workout. They don't get you jittery to make you feel weird.

They're awesome. But they get you. Yeah, they actually do something. Oh, for sure. So, dude, I love it. I found, I've honestly found that your workouts are pretty astronomical. And I've tried their other product, uh, alpha brain. It made me feel worse than like coming down from doing hard drugs.

So I'm not like an on-it guy, but Shroom Tech is legit, man. Those ground-up corticeps, like they make you feel good. Yeah, Joe gave me, I think he gave me two bottles, and I think I gave one to Patrick, or maybe you tried it before. I don't remember, but I was like, let's try this. Like, I doesn't do anything weird. It's just a pre-workout. And I took, I think the recommended dose is like four.

And I was like, Jesus Christ, this is a lot of pills. And I took these four things and went to the gym and spent three and a half hours bench pressing. And I was just like, this is all. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I'm too afraid to test out any new drugs these days. I like old, reliable, delicious alcohol.

That's it. That's all I want. It's not a good pre-workout, though. That's true. No, it's not. That's true. No, man. I figured it all out in my 20s, man.

I was like, I was never a weed guy. I would just get too paranoid, and I would go along with it for 10 years. Yeah. I don't really like any of it. of the other stuff, I'm just like, there's two amazing drugs, alcohol and caffeine. I love them all of the time. Yeah.

You know, they never fail. They always work great. Yeah. I mean, so when I was in high school, I was insane and I went through an ecstasy binge. I was taking ecstasy constantly. And, um... Sure you were. Yeah, I was.

I'm glad you're sharing this publicly with many, many people. What am I doing? These self-employed. These are my own family. brokers, I sit and chat with them, you guys. It's all I do these days. But anyways. Okay.

Sorry. I was looking out for your well-being. But so I would take ecstasy and go to the gym. One time I rollerbladed to the gym on ecstasy and did squats. And it was, uh, it was great. But then I cut myself and I was bleeding everywhere and I freaked out and it was an emergency. So don't take ecstasy. Is this a real story?

I don't know if this is a story here. I swear to fucking God. I swear to God, I was taking ecstasy like daily. And I realized that I could get a really good fucking workout on it. I would feel amazing. I bet you were in there, like, doing one pound curls being like, oh, my God, I'm getting such a good workout. And you weren't. Yeah, that's probably true.

Yeah. Hey, Forrest, I got a question for you before we get into another news item here. Okay. Okay. What do you think is the coolest? the first one that pops in your head, it's the coolest animal superpower. Ant strength.

What? It's like that quick? On the left field thing in the world. Ant strength. If I had angst strength, I could pick up my house right now. I could just be like, oh, this house, this thing, this four-bedroom home

that, you know, would take several cranes. I'm just going to pick this up for fun. Just, you know, makes the Hulk look like a pus. And strength. Do you know how pissed you would be after you picked up your house and you're like, oh, I just tore my house off the foundation just because I could. I have to get a new house now. House was probably not the best example of everything to lift.

But still, I think it's and strength. I mean, I didn't give it a lot of thought. What's your favorite? Why are we asking this? What are you going with this? I don't know. It just popped in my fucking head. But one of the Brosner's just said turtle Hogan size.

That's the OG animal trait. Do turtles have giant penises? Uh, big. I mean, they're no, they're no blue whales, you know. They've got some pretty good, good fallace, though, I guess. I'm also so curious because me and my friends when we were teenagers made up the word Hogan, because we thought it'd be funny to call a penis a Hulk Hogan, and then we shortened it to Hogan.

And Matt McHugh just referred to a turtle's penis as a Hogan. Now I'm confused as to what's going on. I'm sure of it. Yeah. It spread it all the way to. Australia when I went there for college for one semester. You went Inception on the word Hogan. So I just want to give a shout out to my buddy, Antonio, from Uruguay, who just joined us on

the live chat. He hit us up. He's the man. He's always sending me super cool stuff on Instagram. Pretty awesome, dude. You know, way to be our first brosner tuning in from Uruguay as far as I know. Please, like the 10,000. You're even 10,000.

Well, yeah, so Mushroom Man. He was in the news. I'm still bummed. Yeah, I'm bummed that, you know, we saved him. I would have liked to have seen how that shook out. But there's some other stuff in the news, very interesting. There were pure alpine dingoes identified in Victoria, Australia, sibling cubs that were rescued from the high country that are purebred alpine dingoes, which is a discovery of animals that were basically thought to be gone. They're absolutely purebred.

They're beautiful. They're white. Just super cool to see that, you know, that, you know, that. somebody went up into the highland and rescued these two gorgeous puppies of which Will is going to pull up a picture any second, I'm sure. And they're just these beautiful purebred puppies that, you know, it's a threatened species that we didn't really know how many were left. And there's a couple guys in Australia rescued them. And they're just really cool and really pretty. They are very cute. What makes the alpine dingo different than the regular dingo? Just the coloration? Basically,

it's a highland subspecies, you know, alpine being high up in the mountains. Um, They get this, like many Arctic cold weather animals, they get lighter coloration, right? Pigmentation is less necessary in their fur. So they have this incredible coloration. And the thing is, it's kind of like coyotes in the United States. Dingoes in Australia, they're all interbred with dogs. And you know what I mean? It's just kind of messed up genetically.

It's like a big disaster. So to find these two purebred alpine dingoes that haven't been crossed with anything is fantastic. Like it's just a really, really good find for the species. So I thought this was a very cute and awesome piece of news. Yeah, they look pure breath. I mean, they look very handsome. They're very handsome animals. They don't look wild.

They look like domesticated fucking, you know what they look like? God, what are those? They look like cute little Shiba Inos. Oh, Shibu, dude. They look just like Shiba Inos, you know? That's crazy. They're super cute. Very cute.

And when they were found, they were super malnourished, which, you know, they rescued them is the key here. I don't know. I just liked it. There's nothing more to the story. There's nothing more to the story. There's no. It is smooth out like this.

You've spent a lot of time in the wilds of Australia. Based on where they were found, do you think that maybe they stayed purebred because there's a small population in a little sort of pocket that's isolated or something like that? Yeah, exactly. So I haven't been into the highlands above Victoria, Australia, that much. But, you know, I think my understanding is, you know, the regular day. goes don't want to go up at high elevation because it's too cold and you know the climate's not right for them so the subspecies lives up there but there's a crossover zone but i just think that

the fact that this geographical barrier of basically going up these mountains has kept this subspecies isolated enough to remain pure and not be muddled up genetically is pretty awesome yeah did i tell you uh i don't know why nick ronella just said that i'm extra creepy today i'm not sure why what i'm Because he's an observant man. Yeah. So I was in Fraser Island in Australia, and so there's a lot of dingoes there. A ton of dingoes. And we were on some sand dune and we were just like somersaulting down it into this lake.

And everyone we were with left and went back to the vehicles. And me and my buddy who's like a huge agent in Hollywood now, but he just used to be the biggest dumb fuck in the world. Oh, yeah. He's an agent now. Yeah. We stayed and we were just like we're having so much fun rolling down the sand dune. And then dust came in and we're like, oh, we should probably go back to the car because everyone left like two hours ago. And as we walked back, we're just, there's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dingoes. There's so many fucking dingoes. And at no point did we feel like we're in danger. We're just walking through them, just carefree, whatever. Didn't seem like a bother. Didn't seem like anything to

could be threatening, didn't come up to us. They kind of walking around. Within a week or two of when we got back from that trip, saw on the news that not only was a little kid killed by dingoes, but they killed the kid and her mother. They were sleeping on the beach, I believe. Maybe. They were like camping on the beach. Not to say that that's still like a reason for it, but I think they were sleeping on

the beach. And yeah, the small child and mother were both killed. I remember, because I've been to Fraser Island as well, and I went to see the dingoes and we barely saw any, which was just kind of odd. Really? What year was that? Do you remember how long ago? 2011. Okay.

So I was there a long time ago. I was there in 2001. Gotcha. So I'd be curious for any of our Australian Brosners to see if that's a thing, if the dingo population has been decimated in Fraser Island. Yeah, I don't know.

Teaming, dude. They were all over, we were staying at this little place that had a bunch of huts. They were everywhere. I remember that, like kind of where you land on the ferry. Exactly.

And they were just, it was teaming with them, dude. Yeah. Did you do the, I love Fraser Island. Did you do like running down the sand dunes into those amazing like lakes of water that were. Yeah, that's what we were doing when we got distracted by,

that's why we left our friends. Super cool. And there was a cliff where you could stand on the cliff and see down below the silhouette of all the tiger sharks in the water. And there were like, you know, tens of tiger sharks. Really? Oh, wow.

Yeah. Oh my God. You're not actually allowed to swim. They'll, like, arrest you. I remember that. I remember there were people driving around being like, no swimming, no getting in the water, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. It's a cool fucking place. It really is. Do you know if dingoes are native to Australia? Somebody in the chat asked or did Europeans. Yeah, that's a good question. Yes and no. Yes and no. So dingoes are a canine species that were brought over to the continent of Australia when the very first settlers came about 4,000 years ago. Wow. So aboriginals, Aborigines, I'm not sure what the proper plural is.

Both is correct. It doesn't matter because you can't have original sense. They are of Asiatic descent, right? They came over through Indonesia and that area and settled in Australia. And they brought with them boat dogs, right? These purebred dogs that they traveled with that were their animals. And those animals that basically just hit the mainland in Australia and were just like out of there were the dingoes. And so, you know, it's like, are they native?

No, you know, because they were brought in 4,000 years ago. but everything came from somewhere at some point, right? So it's kind of a weird question. But that's also the reason that the thylacine has been gone from Tasmania for 4,000 years because dingoes are such better competitors in the landscape that they drove, they out-compete a thylacine. So it's like, you know, it's a weird thing. It's like dingoes are iconic to Australia. They're awesome.

They're beautiful. We certainly shouldn't eradicate them. But they were introduced by humans, just not like modern Western humans. And so we look at them as being native. It's kind of a weird middle ground. I got a question for you. Speaking of eradicating species for the good of humanity, recently we talked about the Colombian hippos that came from the drug lord out there.

And now they're basically invasive and they're taking over the Amazon. What is it? The Amazon River? Amazon. That's where Columbia is, yes. So now there's, I read a recent article just yesterday about how they are calling for them to be called. like that they have to be called. And what do you think of that?

Like is that that's valid? I mean, how are you going to get rid of fucking hippos other than, you can't like helicopter them out? Like, what could you do other than that? Good question. So there's a couple trains of thought. So the scientists on the ground in Columbia have basically, there's kind of three different ideas right now, right?

Idea number one, leave them alone. They've become a tourist attraction. People go to Columbia literally to see these cocaine hippos as they've been nicknamed. Yeah. you know, blah, blah, blah. The second train of thought is eradicate them, you know, go in with helicopters or whatever and mow them down and shoot them, honestly. Not to interrupt you, sorry, but your buddy from Uruguay just commented that that's,

he's saying that's the current plan. I don't think that's, well, I could be wrong, but my understanding is it's still up for debate. Yeah. Well, the third option is sterilization, where they're, and they've tried this and they've been failing is the problem. So basically, you have to put a hippo to sleep, go in, you. chop its nuts off and then wake it back up and let it go run around in all intents of purposes.

All three things have difficulties and complications. The right thing to do is eradicate them, right? They are legitimately an invasive species and they are growing at an exponential rate because they have no natural predators. It's like we talked about before. It's like a hippos playground, right? It's just fantastic habitat for them and no predators. That being said, and it's not that hippos are in jeopardy in southern Africa, but right now there's a wonderful chance to have the seed population in South America should some plague wipe out all the hippos

in Africa or for some reason hippo ivory becomes the new big trade or blah blah blah blah blah. So the best option is to like probably meet in the middle and like call a few, capture a few, put them in some kind of a large preserve that's very well fenced, et cetera, and like keep them like that, you know, in a sustainable population. That's probably the way that it should be handled. I don't think that's the way that it's been petitioned to be handled. Yeah, you know, I mean, that's cool. Sorry, go ahead. I was just going to say, like, we have seed banks in Antarctica.

Right. Right. Exactly. I've never thought about having a seed, a seed bank of hippos, just in case they go extinct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, exactly.

And I think that's what it should be, to be quite honest. Hey, Tommy Schaefer, what's up, buddy? For everybody that's looking at the chat, I just saw one of my favorite athletes. So those that don't know, I coach youth rugby and have been doing it for a very long time here in Santa Barbara and Tommy, one of my all-stars. You're supposed to be in South Africa right now, boy playing rugby. I don't know what you're doing on this chat.

Just joined in. What's up, Tommy? How old are these kids that you coach? I do basically ages 8 to 18, but I'm the head coach and the high school coach. So my kids are all 16, 17, and sometimes 18. Are they little shits like I was? And like, I'm

guessing you and Pat were too. I mean, rugby kids, like I got to imagine and they are very, like, rebellious and hard to control. They're great kids. Tommy, you leave Sunday. Good. We want updates on how your rugby career is going. Tommy is literally going to South Africa to play professional rugby.

Very proud of it. They are mostly high school that I coach. And Tommy was one of our all-stars, one of the California all-stars, and I'm stoked he's on. And they are, they're awesome kids. Some of them have angry issues. Some of them are shitheads. Some of them give me lip. But we run a very tight ship.

I mean, if you mouth off to me, you're going to get your ass kick kind of thing. And it's a, I coach rugby. And I tell all the parents, this is the start of every season. I go, listen, this is not an American sport. I coach rugby the way I was coached to me when I was growing up in Africa. If your kid mouths off to me, prepare for him to come home with a backhand. You know, like, it's not going to go well. And the parents all go, we understand.

Like, we get it. That's what we sign them up for. And, yeah, we run a pretty tight ship. And we've been very successful. We've been the number one team in SoCal, I think five or six times in the 10 years since we started the program. Nice, dude. Well, if you tackling Mitch down the mountain was any indication of how your kids tackle,

I'm guessing that they're pretty fucking weird. I want to ship my kid out to raise them so that they have good, homegrown South African values. You know what, though? This is not a rugby podcast. This is a wildlife podcast. Let's get back to what in the news because there's another piece of amazing footage that surfaced just a few days ago that I loved.

And it's an Eden whale in the golf. of Thailand. But what's so interesting is this Eden whale is treading water in this new method of feeding on fish where it leaves its mouth just below the surface to create this vacuum. And I'm sure Will's going to pull it up and show it to us. And I think what's so what, so first of all, when you see this, you're like, that's incredible. Whales are smart. They're intelligent. This behavior is amazing. They're coming up with new ways to feed. But what's sad and amazing at the same time is this behavior is a direct result of pollution. Oh, weird.

So because their prey are no longer able to feed at depth, these little fish that they're feeding on are no longer able to feed at depths because of the amount of toxicity and plastic pollution, they're forced to stay at the surface, which makes sense. A little fish would do that. Look at that.

It's incredible. That is. And so these whales have figured out how to catch them at the surface by making this suction cup thing on the surface with their mouths. And it's just, it's absolutely striking footage. And shout out to my buddy Bertie Gregory that filmed this, and it's blown up. It's all over the world.

It's super neat. Congrats, Bertie. What a, what a find? I mean, it's an amazing thing to witness. Jeez. Yeah. Yeah. These little fish think that they're hopping into a nice hot tub and then just boom,

gets eaten. Yeah. Like in Star, yeah. This water's just a little warmer because it's just been roasting. It's bubbling. Right. Bubblers are on.

Yeah. It's amazing, though. I got to admit, I don't know anything about Eden whales, which is pretty, I'm a little embarrassed. I've never seen anything like this, dude. It is insane. It is. It really is. It's a basking whale of some sort, right?

Correct. Yeah, it's a basking whale. They're in the Gulf of Thailand all the way into the Indian Ocean. What else can I say? They're a big whale. They're obviously a fish-eating whale. They're not a filter feeder. Yeah, they're super cool. I've never seen one in person.

They're super neat animals. I'd love to see one. And I think it just speaks to, this behavior in particular, just speaks to like animals' resilience. You know, it's like they try and find a way to overcome and adapt. And it's like, this is incredible. It really is. I mean, you've got to be, I mean, this is a whole different behavior.

You think of animals and you think like, okay, like animals have a one track to do, most animals have a one track to do whatever they've evolved to do, to get food or whatever it is. and then you see something like this. And it makes me feel bad, though, because just like the fact that wailing goes on and people hunt dolphins and shit, these animals, especially these ones, man,

like you say, sentient, man, they're smart. Like, they can figure things out. They know when their own dies. They know they mourn them. I mean, animals are so much more fascinating than humans. They're incredible. And as a species of Brideswell, they do have this ability to open their jaws super wide, right?

So they've got this morphological characteristic that they have adapted to this new way of hunting to overcome human pollution. I don't know. It just like kind of checks this amazing set of boxes to allow them to be successful. I honestly can't get over the amount of comments about how creeped out people are at Pat

and his gaze, the way he stares, the way his mouth looks, the way his beard is trimmed. I haven't seen one of these comments. I haven't trimmed in a while. One of the Brosner's said that the Eden whale is a close relative of the blue whale and humpback, which is cool. But also, I was curious, is this the same species that swallowed Pinocchio and Geppetto, where they lived in its stomach for a while? So that is an interesting question, and I could go hard biology on that. Oh, okay.

Yeah. So you want me? I was making a funny, but yeah, let's go for it. I can dig into that one. So, all right, so the biblical story of Jonah and the whale, right, which I actually don't think I've ever personally read, but I know what it is. You know, it's that whole, the guy gets swallowed by, or Joe, sorry, Geppetto and Pinocchio is different. I'm talking about the biblical Jonah and the whale. Yeah.

Anyway, Jonah gets swallowed by a whale and he lives inside that whale for a short time and then he gets spat out, I think, wherever he needs to go. And I think God had something to do with it because it's in the Bible. Anyway, I don't know much about that. I'm not big on the religious side. I am big on the other side, which is pretty interesting. There used to be this thought that it was a blue whale and this thing happened and attacked a boat, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, have you ever heard of a Jewfish? Oh, yes.

We sure have, Nate, in the podcast. I used to drive from Miami to Key West once a year to go visit my dad and passed over Jewfish Creek. There you go. I'm dating a Jewish woman. So there we go. Unrelated to a Jew fish. Not relative, but okay. Well, the Jew fish gets its name because the Goliath grouper, which is the actual species of what a Jew fish is, is this massive grouper with this massive grouper with this massive.

massive mouth that they actually believe was the culprit behind the Jonah and the whale story, which is this huge fish that came up and likely gobbled up someone. They used to get to over 1,000 pounds. Now the big ones are 6, 700 pounds. And it would totally make sense, especially with people were smaller back then. The fish were more voracious. There were more of them, blah, blah, blah. So that's where the nickname Jew fish comes from. And I can tell you from a personal experience I had, I 100% believe it. And there are very few sharks that I'm scared of. But after one of the experiences I had free diving in the Gulf with Jewfish, I totally get how someone could have got munched by one.

Do you want to tell us what the experience was to do? Sure. I wasn't trying to dog leg too far. But this is like when Christina will tell me, like, she'll come in and be like, I have something to tell you. Like, just tell me. First I'm like, if you don't just say it, I'm going to put my head through the monitor. You got to start meditating.

You need some mindfulness. to learn how to take a pause before that shit because I know exactly. I also teed that up by being a dick and not just telling the story. But anyway, here we go. It's pretty good. I know it, but it's really good. It is pretty good. So I was spearfishing at these Air Force towers in the Gulf, like way off the west coast

of Florida, like 60, 70 miles off. And the water is shallow out there, right? Like for a very, very long way. So they have these Air Force towers in the middle of nowhere. And they act like fads, which is the acronym for a fish. aggregating device. Like you have this thing in the middle of what is basically an underwater desert and all the fish congregate at it. We hop in at this one. It's like 30 miles offshore. We hop in and it's terrible visibility. I mean like six or seven foot visibility, right? And my two buddies who are

Florida natives are like, fuck this, dude, we don't dive the shit when it's bad like this. And I'm like, well, let's hang on a second. Let's see if there's any fish here. So they get out of the water and they're like, be careful, man. There's huge sharks here. Like it's gnarly. You know, you just shouldn't be in this water when it's like six-foot visibility. I was, yeah, let me just take one knife. Patrick knows that voice. Just give me a second. Anyway, so literally my very first dive I'm in this Air Force by this Air Force tower, it's not deep. It's like 50 feet deep. It's like the bottom's right there. The Viz is so bad. I go like following the base of this tower all the way down to the sand. And I get down to the sand, I see like a flash of a fish here and a flash of fish there. It's like six foot visibility,

though. So I kind of tell what the fuck I'm looking at, right? And I'm like, yeah, the guys are right. Like, this is a mess. Like, got to get back in the boat, got a head, got ahead, you know, to the next tower and see if the Viz cleans up. So I turn around on the bottom, like I'm laying on the bottom, looking around, I turn around and start kicking up to the surface, right? Well, here in California, we don't have giant grouper that fucking eat you, or big sharks that will attack you out of nowhere most of the time. So on my fins, I have come up with this genius system of putting flashers on them. So I stick flashing tape to my fins to simulate being a school of fish to have the predatory fish come in to me so that I can shoot them

while I'm spearfishing. Well, I didn't take my flashers off when I left California and they're on my fins in six foot of Viz in Florida where my buddies are like, get the fuck out of the water, you idiot. And I lay on the bottom in 50 feet and I look around like, yeah, whatever, I don't see anything. And I start heading up. So I'm heading up and all of a sudden, I just stop. Like, I literally stop. I'm just like, boom. And I'm like, I like panic because I'm holding my breath. on an ascent coming up from 50 foot in terrible visibility. And I'm like, fuck. And I just like don't really understand what's going on.

And all of a sudden I start going backwards, like vertically down. Oh, God. I'm kicking like this. And I looked down. I was terrified, man. Like, I'm legit. Look, I'm getting goosebumps. Retelling.

Sorry, so you're free diving. And then how deep are you when this happens when you start going backwards? I'm probably halfway up. I'm probably 20, 25 feet off the bottom. But it's five, six foot of this, you know? And it's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm, Halfway up, it's not like I was at the very end of my breath, but all of a sudden my heart shoots into my throat. My, you know, it's racing. I'm burning through my oxygen and I look down and this will pull up a picture of a Jewfish please or a Goliath grouper.

This fish with the, that was the size of a vault wagon has come all the way up off the bottom, latched onto my calf. And they don't have like big teeth or anything. I was in a wetsuit. It wasn't a big deal. But it has come, it has put my entire fin all the way up to like just above my ankle into its mouth. and just turned around and started swimming down and pulling me down. And the body of this thing just materializes right beside me with this tail that's like this wide, just like slowly going like this.

Like that thing is what bit me. And I'm like, ah, fuck it. I take my spear gun and I start like hammering at it because it was like way too close to do anything. And it lasted like 15, not even like five seconds. Like I hit it with my spear gun. It let go and it went down and I came up and was like,

and I told the guys they're like, told you, man, like, can't dive when it's like that. You know, is it getting the boat, let's go. And I was like, I nearly fucking died.

You're insane. You're insane. You've done some crazy shit that really just makes me, it makes my heart flutter. Like that, that would add. And then there's behind you,

can you eat a chew fish? What's that? It's a grouper. It's still, so it's illegal to harvest them in the state of Florida. You can harvest them in Mexico and other places.

But it's a grouper. It's a delicious eating fish. But they're super slow growing, and they were nearly extinct because we used to harvest them in North America. And to find a fish like that doesn't take a rocket scientist, right? You're like, oh, here's a Volkswagen swimming through the ocean. Bam, you know. So, yeah, they're back now. Their numbers are super strong.

But they are a delicious grouper that their numbers went super far down. They got protected. They bounced back. And now they're just out there biting harmless divers like myself. Well, that is, so here's a few things that you shouldn't do. Don't have flashers on your fins if you're going swimming in an area with Goliath Grouper. You should take them off. Also want to give a shout out to a new brosner tuning into their, I think, their first live, Santiago Rodriguez.

Nice. Welcome. What's up, Santi? Yeah, we got a good conversation going on. I think we have multiple South American Brosner's on right now, just chatting it up in Espanioliosnogne. Honestly, guys, I can't. I cannot believe the Broussner community. Like I started the Discord.

If you don't know what that is, it's basically you go there and chat. There's people in there talking about fucking everything from sports to, because I got to make different. If that's what they're talking about, I'm not going to sign on to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the community, dude, like everybody,

it's so fascinating because there's so much like content coming in. I don't know. Is this a good time to bring up a couple of the artist's renderings? of the alien shit right now. Yeah, we're live, man. Anything goes. So somebody dropped these in the Discord just a few minutes before,

while I was doing all this shit. And I mean, I was just like, the octopus is aliens things. I've been saying that since episode one. It's the only reason I'm on the podcast. What? What's so funny? Octopus's aliens.

I just like that. Yeah. It's dinosaur bones is oil. Octopus is aliens. But somebody made like two artists, renderings of like their concept of aliens being octopus. Well, I think is frantically searching for them. But the community, man, like you can see in the chat,

just everybody is bullshitting and talking, even their own like sidebars and stuff, man. It's insane. Oh, there they are. You brought them up there. The wild times. It's just like a simple drawing, but like, it's dope, dude.

It's so good. Oh, man. And then. You remember? Sorry, go ahead. No, that's it. Will, what was the name I screenshotted you, the whole thing? I forgot the Browsner's name there. I think it was Jesso. Jesso in the Discord, man.

I mean, just shit like this just makes me fucking smile. Jessos in the chat right now. Jesso Jones. Jesso Jones, man. Just for that. Yes, mine, he says. Hey, so, Forest, I texted you guys this story that I saw earlier today. It just was like mainstream news.

It comes from the land of Turkey. Okay. So right now I'm looking at my dog, which is sitting at the front glass doors waiting for Christina to get home. But she does. When I leave, wherever, if I'm gone for two, three hours, I come back and she's there. Even when Christina's home, she just waits. And I feel bad, right?

I'm like, do something else. Have fun, man. enjoy your life, right? There's a story that came out of Turkey. This elderly man was ill. He was taken to the hospital. I think, I don't know if he had COVID or whatever. His family takes him.

Later that day, this fucking Labrador Retriever is standing outside the glass doors of the hospital just waiting for him. And it's not coming in. It's just waiting for him outside. Because apparently as he was being taken out, it broke out of his apartment and followed the ambulance. There's a picture of the dog. Oh, he's so cute.

Maybe it's not a Labrador retriever. It's looking like it's going to. He's got to dash a lab in there somewhere. So he waits for him, right? Whatever. They figure out who's dog, look at him. That's no lab. And a crooked nose.

He's got adorable, ugly face. He's got like adorable ugly face like you. He's really cute. Creep out of hair. Just like pop a pee. Anyway, so they alert the sick man. He's like shouting out the window to the dog. The family comes and gets the dog, right?

They pick up the dog back to the apartment. Sure. A couple days later, the dog shows up back at the hospital. No way. He said they have no idea how he broke out. He found his. way back to the hospital, which wasn't particularly far away, and he

stood at the doors for six days until his pop-pop was released. That's so cute. That's crazy, man. Dogs are the best. They really are. I mean... Look at that. Oh, look at them reunited. That's so sweet. It feels so good. I like

want to be a tough badass. Like, I'm an outdoors guy. I don't care about puppies, you know, fucking lions and tigers and bears, oh my. This is so cute. I mean, come on. Look at him. He's so adorable. Yeah, it's a couple of people in the chat. We don't deserve dogs, wholeheartedly agree. It is literally the best feeling. Like, I get up late because I stay up super late.

When I come out in the morning and I just say, and I just look at the dog is in the air suspended, just running so happy to just cuddle and give me kisses. I'm like, this is greater than any human relationship I'll ever go. I've said this to a couple different people, and I'll stand by it. I'll say it publicly, if you raise your children without dogs in the house, that is child abuse. Your kids need dogs in the house, ladies and gentlemen. Raise kids with dogs. I think that is super important.

It teaches them good values, teaches them to take care of a pet, teaches them I don't know what else, but just have dogs. And, like, compassion, compassion, you know. Yeah. You love your fucking dog. And if you don't, you're a fucking serial killer. Thank you. Right. Straight up.

And fuck you. There's almost no humans in the world that have that type of loyalty. No way. And they're in the cold. By the way, it's winter in Turkey, right? It's freezing. I have a crew that's shooting a show in Turkey right now. They're freezing their asses off.

Yeah. No fur. Talks stood outside in the winter for six days. That's crazy, though, for real. That's amazing. I love it. It's like some homeward bound in real life. It's so cool.

All right. So, hey, I get a question a lot. We've even discussed it on the pod before. Forrest, how did you get to where you are? What did you do? What kind of jobs did you have? But we got a Brosner DM from that underscore animal man that I thought would be fun to do on air if you guys are up for it. Yeah.

Super simple question. Cue for the pod. What was y'all's first jobs? And I know what Patrick's was. I don't know what yours was, Rete. But I just think, you know, Mitch said it on his podcast the other day. He's like, everybody takes a different job. path, right? It doesn't really matter what direction you, where you start or it's where you end up or

whatever the way he said it was. But I just thought this would be kind of a fun segment. What was your first job, you know, and kind of roughly, how did we get to where we are? So Retev, why don't you, why don't you lead it? Sure, man. Well, in the same spirit of what I'm wearing right now, I guess, when I was 13, my mom came to me. She was going to this farm stand in a town called Westmont, Illinois. It's just a southwest suburb of Chicago. And she's like, hey, you can get a job here. And I was 13. And I was like, okay, I was like a very physical person. So this job was like at a farm stand where I was sorting corn and just like pulling out the. So I ended up actually fucking, that was my first job. I worked there on and off for 10 years. And then I ended up like in

the fields working with Mexicans picking tomatoes, all sorts of shit. And it literally, It literally kind of like made me who I am. I would walk down these rows hoeing with like some other people and then the Mexican guys. And there's this camaraderie, dude, when you're out there. Like, you know, and I kind of learned how to be like social, really, I guess. Because, you know, you're just walking around. You're playing stupid word games. You're talking to these guys.

It's all you're doing. It's hot. You feel like shit. You're like bonding with people. And, you know, so that's how I started. mom was like, hey, you want to go to work? And I said, okay, and I never stopped since I was 13. I worked on a farm. I dig it. I'll be wearing a flannel like this. Awesome. Yeah. All right. Papa P. You want to enlighten us with your first job story?

So I will say in the true spirit of my entire life, my first, okay, so the first year when we were all eligible to work, me and all my friends. Age 15. Yeah. So a lot of people got summer jobs. and I had it in my head that I could create a whole bunch of schemes and make money. And I did it. So, no chance in other words. Literally, this is how you become a TV producer. So I was hustling at the tennis courts and gambling on tennis. Okay.

I collected cans from everyone I knew and drove them to Michigan because you got 10 cents a can instead of five cents a can. It was just after scheme after scheme. I really first, well, I worked at McDonald's was my first long-term job. I thought you were going to hear about it. Yeah, yeah, that was shit. That was utter trash. But I did also work at a plastic chair factory in upstate New York.

And I was operating a machine where every 10 seconds, a chair would open, a chair would come out. And then I had a scraper. And it would, when it molded the chair, it would have a sharp edge that could cut, you know, cut you. And so I had to quickly scrape. the sharp edge off all four sides and put it in a stack. Oh, interesting. There was this lady who did quality control, and I'm not joking when I say that one of her legs was a foot shorter than the other one.

She was probably 75. Jeez. The machine was so loud, you had to have these really, really ear protective headphones, right? Okay. And the way that quality control would get in touch with you was she would do this bird beak three finger poke into your back. Oh, no way. working and you just get like blasted in the back and get whiplash turn around and this pirate

of a woman would just be like like pointing at a rough edge that you miss. Build the character. I'm sorry. I have 10 seconds to do this. Dude. Not to not to interject, but I mean my boss when I was working at that farm stand, he's like, what are you doing? Standing around always just sweep like always just busy work, kept you busy. Like it's pretty funny like that and then I worked at radio. shack for a while too. The boss was, the boss at my radio, the boss in my radio shack, he literally, like this lady wanted free batteries. And I had no, like, I wasn't a salesman. And I was like, well, I can't do that. And she's like, really? You're not going to do it. And he's just standing there

looking at me. And then she's like, right, I'm not buying it. And she left. And then he like, yelled at me. And I was like, well, I didn't know I could give her free batteries out of my commission. But like, that's, that's, when you're young and you get old people poking you in the back, telling to sweep and keep busy and they won't help you out. That's how you build Cherictor. Forrest, what about them? Yeah, those are, I like both of those. Yeah, Forrest, what kind of rare snake venom were you collecting by getting bitten by it

voluntarily for your first job? No, I mean, my first official job was nothing exciting or glamorous at all. The first work I ever had to do growing up in Zimbabwe would be basically like clean up around the camp. It would just be like, because, you know, my family had safari businesses. we'd be out on safari all the time. And it was like being in camp and like cleaning up, tidying up dishes, like anything like that that I could basically just lend a helping hand in camp.

That was my first work. But the first job I ever had was straight up picking weeds. It was as like a very, very young field tech in a biological, for a biological company through my university at the time. Or no, it was through a university. I was still in high school. Excuse me. and they were like, look, you know, I was like, I want to be a biologist.

And they're like, cool, you want to do habitat restoration? I'm like, in my head, I'm like, wow, yeah, like build rivers and, you know, like put up fences and like save all the animals. Yeah, I want to do habitat restoration. They're like, cool, seal those weeds on the other side of all that poison oak. Go pick those. Like, those non-natives. Like, nobody else wants to do it.

You know, you're the only one making, like, and I think it was nine bucks an hour, if I remember correctly when I started. They're like, you're the only one who's getting paid nine bucks an hour. That's a lot of back then. Kidding me? What? It's making $4.25 at the farm. Yeah.

Jesus. $5.25. I swear to God. Farm gets an exemption in most states in the U.S. They can pay lower. Yep. Lower than minimum wage. I didn't know that.

I believe I was on minimum wage, which at the time was $9 an hour. I believe, anyway. You're a little younger. The rest of us, yeah. True. Point was I was covered in poison oak for months at a time, like constant blisters and wealths and oozing skin. And literally all summer long, like, oh, there's a dandelion that's not native.

Oop, there's, you know, it was terrible. It was just an awful job. I have to say the brosters are chatting on the live. And the one that really stuck out to me is a funicle corp. He has the job that everyone, like, would have been jealous of their friend if they got this job. He was working. His first job was manning the gift shop at the zoo. Oh, come on.

That's great. Yeah, it's annoying, right? How cool is that? I love it. You've got you, Unical Corp, that's like the best job at the zoo outside of elephant play with her. You know, like, come on. Yeah. Tiger, I had to pet the tiger cubs for 30 minutes a day.

Yeah. I mean, dude, there is something, though, about, I hated dealing with customers at my jobs throughout the years. But I learned to deal with them and put on a happy face and shit. But, like, there really is a difference between doing that and then, like, kind of doing the shit. Well, Pat, you were scheming. Forest was, like, we were, like, in the fields picking weeds and shit. I liked it way better, like, doing that shit than I did, like, interacting with the old bags that were trying to fucking open all the corn ears and say it was bad after I just sorted it

and made it perfect. My summer job between high school and college and actually the summer of my senior year, or junior going into senior year in high school, too, I, first I did junior lifeguards. And this reminded me because WT. Willie brought it up. First, I did junior lifeguards. This was right when I moved to America. And then I got certified as a junior lifeguard instructor. And so those two summers I was a junior lifeguard instructor, of which, and I don't think

I've ever told this story before publicly, halfway through my second summer, I got fired. I think it's the only time I've ever been fired from a job. And I was, first of all, I got a warning because I was too rough. I was 18 and the junior lifeguards were like 16. So this was like friends. You know what I mean? This wasn't like I should not be in charge of these children because I was an immature 18 year old. And 18 year old fucking forest is scary, dude.

I'd be like terrified. So first of all, I got a warning for rough housing too much because I kept like wrestling with the other kids and stuff. And then I got fired because and I didn't even think this was this like unconsure. Like the kids would go on a run that I would make them go on. Sometimes I'd run with them. And one day I sent them on a run. there was a lunchbox sitting under the guard tower and I was like yeah it's about lunchtime and I popped open that lunchbox and I ate a sandwich and I remember a butter finger and closed the lunch you know

left the lunchbox open and the kids came back and I ran it kind of like I was talking about how I coach rugby kids came back and this like 15 year old kid was like who ate my lunch and I was like I did Jimmy what are you going to do about it and he's like I'll show you what I'm going to do about it and went and told the senior lifeguard who fired me on the spot and I was like oh well that sucks Listen, that means that they hated you. The senior lifeguard hated you. If you got fired for that, yeah. For sure.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also, you're an idiot. Yeah, I know. I'm not arguing. I was very ridiculous as an 18-year-old. So I think it's time, if you'll indulge me, we've been on for almost an hour here. I'd like to try.

I'd like to audition a new game. Yes, baby. I love games. Forrest, that's where you're supposed to go, ooh, a game. People love it when you do that. Ooh, a game. Okay, great. All right.

So, Browsoners, I want you guys to vote, and don't just come on and be like, I hate this game. Like, this is going to be pretty fun. All right. So here's the game. I, my mom, don't say her name, Reteb. It's very active on Facebook. I, as a result, am involved with many of her friends that are at that age. and my friends from Aswego, their parents were involved on Facebook.

So here's the game. Okay. Wild Times Willie is going to pop on camera. He and I have two Facebook conversations between old people. Okay. They're quick short. Oh, I like this. I get where this is going.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. So we're going to act them out. They're conversations that people had on Facebook, old people. Yep. one of them is a real conversation. Okay. One of them is fake.

Okay. Only I know which one is the real conversation. Yeah, no way. I don't know what you. All right. Let's try that. Okay, gotcha. So you're not back and forth.

You're just, you're each going to read one conversation. No, no, no. We're going back and forth because it's people arguing within a Facebook. Oh, God. This is going to be great. You don't have that history for us. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. So just. Yeah. Makes sense. So everyone's, Everyone should in the chat, let us know which one you think is the real conversation between old people on Facebook and which one is the fake one. All right. And you guys will go.

All right. Here's the first one. Caroline, keep my name out of your thin mouth. What did Caroline do, Helen? She stole my broccoli casserole recipe eight years ago and claimed it was hers. You're not talking about my boyfriend, Carolyn. She's a Christian lady. I think that's supposed to say be friend.

best friend. Okay. Anyway, say that again, Will? You're not talking about my best friend Carolyn. She's a Christian lady. She's a rotten recipe stealing bitch, Doris. Careful who your froins are. No one doesn't friends spell incorrectly.

Yeah, she's a rotten recipe stealing bitch, Doris. Careful who your froins are. That's the first one. Okay. Let's go to second one. That's not one. No way that's real. There's no way.

Okay. Well, then here's option two. Okay. Can summon go pick up my son Ted at the airport for me? My foot hurts. Bullshit, Gene. That's what you said when you missed my husband's funeral. I have gout, Judy. Fuck off.

You've been lying about gout since we were in eighth grade. Fuck off, you funeral missing bitch. Judy, please just pick up Ted from the airport. Okay. One is real, and it's about a casserole-stealing bitch. And one is about a funeral-missin bitch who lies about gout. Which one do we think is real? All right.

Forrest, you go first. Oh, my God. I've laughed that hard to admit it. Those are so funny. All right. I swear to my life, word-for-word, one is verbatim. one is fake. Oh, my God.

Those are so funny. The Brosters are split, man. They are super split. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Oh, yeah. Look at that. See, I, the reason I find it so funny is because I've seen these, not this exact

conversation, but I've been on Facebook. It's my aunt in my case. It's her friends. Is that what you said? It's your aunt, too, right? No, it's your mom's friends. It's a sweet. Yeah.

Yeah. For me, it's like my aunt and her, like, Facebook page. And it's just like, I, sometimes I'm like, I'm bored. I'm going to see what my aunt's put on. Facebook and I just it's just like it's it's just like this but anyway all right which one is is real which one is real gout or the uh what was the other one never mind go ahead these are public conversations the gout one is the real one okay okay for us he's insane forest like many of the brosters thinks that the gout conversation is real retep quickly what do you think so here's my logic uh you

corrected Will on the pronunciation of a word, which makes me think that you wrote that one. However, the second one is so unbelievable that I am going with number one because it's only feasible. Okay. So we've got some dissent. If I had a guess, I would say that the casserole stealing one is real because that feels like classic Facebook argument fodder. You know, like the old ladies would write about if I had to guess.

This is right in Will's wheelhouse, too. He's like a Facebook marketer. Right. And he spends a lot of time on broccoli casserole recipes. I do. There's the big reveal. Number one was real. No way.

Everybody take a drink. All 129 brosters take a drink. That's right. Amazing. Also, that's really funny, though, Pat. The second one's hilarious. I thought of it in the shower because I knew I had to write a fake one. and it came to me in the shower,

and I was literally cackling out loud, so loudly, that Christina came in and was like, what's going on in there? Are you on the phone? I was like, no. Dude, that's how you know you're living. When you're fucking, you're not singing in the shower. You're thinking and cackling.

It's just telling yourself jokes in the shower. Can you read it again? Is that too much for the pod? I want to hear it again now that I know it's real. Oh, okay, the real one. So here's the real one. quickly and then we'll move on to some more wild times. Please.

Caroline, keep my name out of your thin mouth. What did Caroline do, Helen? She stole my broccoli casserole recipe eight years ago and claimed it was hers. You're not talking about my best friend, Carolyn. She's a Christian lady. She's a rotten recipe-stealing bitch, Doris. Careful who your freights are. So, there you go.

It's so fucking ridiculous. Oh, my God, that's amazing. Eight years ago. You don't forget that kind of shit. That is, that is a long-hout. Quick shout out here. My brother got a little dude into the podcast. Charlie, quick shout-out.

Thanks for tuning in. Love every. All new. Is that his son? Maybe. I don't know. Who the fuck knows? Does your brother, Tom, have a son?

Thomas Fitzer? Do you have a son? Yeah. Discussing the child. That's something good to know. She's a Christian lady. All right, Forrest, let's bring this back to a little more wildlife here. So good.

Everybody got. Love that game. Thanks, Will. Thank you. That was great. You're a fantastic, Caroline. What else do I have? What else do I have?

So there's a couple other things in the news. Well, we'll talk about one of these things. I posted about this a couple days ago. There are two remaining northern white rhinoceros. That's it, right? We, as scientists, as a human race, we have eliminated them. Scientists have been trying to save them, but we've been unable to get them to breed. It's very similar to the raffidus, you know, Patrick that we've worked with, blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, last year, scientists were able to create five viable embryos in a lab before the final male northern white rhino died. So this was good. This was looking successful, right? but there was no birth. So this year, embryos will be implanted into the last two remaining northern white rhinos, which are both females, and we think that we can get those embryos to, you know, a state of actually being born as viable living offspring because they're not clones. We already made these five embryos before, and now we're putting them into these two.

And this is done in Kenya, those are the, those are the two females that they're implanting the embryos in. And there's a very good chance, like a very good chance, you know, as slim as it is genetically and everything else, that those two animals and science, like good genetic science, not the kind that I'm capable of, can actually bring this species back because they are done. You know, the male's gone. There's just these two girls left. And we're like this close. We're like a hair away from saving them.

And it's, I think it's really neat. It's fucking great, man. Anytime, see, like, I'm so torn on humans. I always complain about us. but then we do things like this. And I'm like, all right. Well, at least like there's, there are people out there. Why do we always, like I always forget about the people who are doing shit like this,

like the good people. Because I watch too much news. That's why. Yeah, that'll, that's, that's real negative. That's why I like when you bring this shit up, man, because this is, you know, man, I love animals. These are beautiful animals. Look at them right there on the, on the screen, man.

They're, they're, I mean, look at them. They're awesome. Yeah, there's some hope. There's some hope for them. You know, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a famous quote, where he says, if we have the power to turn another planet into Earth, then we have the power to turn Earth back into Earth. And that's kind of what this is, right?

It's like not to get cheesy, but that's totally what this is. It's like we have the power, we have the science to like restore something that we fucked up. Yeah. So Martin de Jong brings up a good point on the chat, which is will there be a genetic bottleneck similar to cheetahs? Possibly, you know, but cheetahs are still here and they wouldn't be if it wasn't for us. You know, I think that the gene pool is going to be extremely limited, which doesn't mean that the animals are going to have birth defects. What it means is they're susceptible to problems. You know, the same thing as a purebred dog.

Half of them are great and half of them have, you know, hip dysplasia and what else and what else or what else. But it's certainly possible that there could be a genetic bottleneck. But why not try, you know? And the other thing is with like the invention of CRISPR and gene editing and things like that, we might be able to take. take that away. There might be a genetic bottleneck, but we might be able to actually go in there and write code that changes their genes to diversify it enough that the genetic bottleneck goes away. I don't really know. I don't understand this. I'm not a geneticist. I just understand that there's two right rhinos left with a bit of this crazy science. There could be a bunch more, and that could be

what we need to get them kind of backing up and running. Yeah. And you know, Everett Reinhold on our chat just brought up a really good point. And that's so funny because right until we signed on, I was doing some work on this. But the American bison was a very similar situation at a huge genetic bottleneck. They were almost extinct in America. I think they said, God, they were down to like a dozen or maybe two. Yeah, it was under 40. I can't remember what the exact number is.

It was very small. Yeah. And now, I mean, just in Yellowstone alone, there's over 5,000. Right. So, you know, they were completely almost hunted out and there was just a small pocket kind of hiding in a valley in Yellowstone or something like that. Yeah, we've got to try. We've got to try, you know.

It's like having, like giving up before you try and be like, oh, you know, they're going to be fucked genetically. There's not enough gene diversity or whatever. It's like you can't just cop out when it comes down to saving a species that we have pushed to the edge like that. So you got to at least try. That's how I feel. There is that weird thing that you mentioned. Who was it that said, you know, Neil, was you say it was Neil de Grassee Tyson? You said, like, why are we concerned?

Like, why? I mean, I get the reason why we're pushing to, like, go to Mars or whatever, if we want to inhabit the planet or whatever. But it's like, he's 100% right, man. Like, we're so, human beings are so, like, neurotic and scatterbrain that, like, we're like, oh, like, because this is how I am kind of, like, about technology and stuff. It's exciting to, like, go to Mars and stuff. But it's like, why can't we just relax and fucking take care of the Earth and, like,

just chill? Like, we always want to be, like, advancing and, like, doing these crazy fucking things. Like look at Elon Musk, dude. He's putting like, what, tens of thousands of satellites in the sky that may potentially block out stars and astronomers are pissed at them? Like, it's just weird that we really don't, we don't like, we focus on like the outside instead of what we already have as humans as like a species, which is kind of fucking just fucked up.

It's human nature, you know, you want to grow, you want to expand, you want to colonize, you don't want to slow down progress. And that's human nature. And it sucks because I don't know how you rewire human beings to care more about what we have. It's like, you know, it's like, it's like the argument of like why by, you know, don't go buy the summer home. Just fix up your nice house. Right. It's like you have a house that's okay.

But instead of fixing it up, you're going to go buy a summer lake house. Right. It's like, it's like that same mentality. And most people would do that. Most people would be like, yeah, I'm not going to renovate my house. My house is fine. But I totally want a second home. You know, I want that lake house.

And I think that's just human nature, not necessarily in the sense of consumerism, but to like colonize and expand and grow. And I don't know, even in my own daily life, like I don't even know how to rewire my own brain to be like, no, this is enough, you know, fix what I've got, make what I've got better instead of expand. Like I literally don't even know how to rewire my own brain, how to do that, let alone the whole planet. So it sucks.

It's a real thing. It's a real psychological thing that we have to attempt to over time. It takes some work to go against that. it's not easy to go against like your human nature, which is to want to be comfortable, keep up with the Joneses is one of the things now. But yeah, man, I mean, it fuck shit up when you're talking about seven, eight billion people all doing it.

Right. No, for sure. Yeah. Well, guys, Patrick knows what I'm about to say. Retepe, you know what I'm about to say? No, I think so. It's time. For what?

It's time. For the one and only, the greatest game ever created by anybody in the history of anything ever. Battle Royal. Oh, we're getting into it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Do you have one on deck?

No, I have one on deck. I like this. We oftentimes are fighting things, right? That's true. Yep. This better be a battle royale. Yeah, but it's a competition, right? A battle's a competition.

I'm sick of making cute, ugly animals that are. petting each other. I want to challenge you. I'm going to challenge your fucking brain, dude. All right, here's what we're doing. You have to create a creature. Head, body, legs.

Okay. Okay. Standard. Obviously, it's going to be a snake draft. Okay. I'll explain that shortly for your tap. Yeah, for your tap. Yeah, snake draft.

Okay. Two episodes. Here's what we're going to do. 10,000 of these are going to be made. Okay. And they're going to be released into the streets of New York City. I do like this already. That's great. But your challenge is that you're going to release 10,000 of these creatures that have head, body, and legs of all different animals.

And no one's going to be worried about it or scared because they're so. God damn cute. Wait, okay. So they're going to see them. We'll release 10,000 unknown creatures into the streets of Manhattan, but no one's going to be worried about it. No one person freaks out. Got it.

No one. This is hard. God damn it. No biologists. Yep. Not even a little baby. No one's going to be scared with 10,000 of these just running around, climbing all over everything.

By the way. In the words of Brian Arsenao on the chat, plot twist, because this is tough. Like, this is a real thing. So last week we did, we did what's like, what's the cutest animal you can build, but you don't want to fuck with it. You don't want to get it angry. This is, this is like, this has such like a weird twist. You can't go big because obviously people will freak out.

You can't go rat size because people freak out. I don't even know what the fuck I'm going to do this. You definitely can't go rat size. Like, that's the worst. Yeah, that's no good. That's not good. Everybody. By the way, Robert Roberts said, can we get.

a Battle Royale the home edition. I'd buy that. I'd fucking buy that too. Sounds good. These are thoughts. All right. All right. All right. You want me to lead it off? I mean, I'd be happy to go first because I

mean, obviously I could win immediately if I go first. Of course. Why don't you just go ahead? Why don't you just start? Okay. A big thing, obviously, the head is key here, right? I feel like the body is maybe

the least important. It's like the legs, because people don't like crittery legs and the head. It has to have a likable face where it's approachable. Will, hopefully you're fast enough to pull up pictures of all these. I'm going to go with the head of an animal that I really like called the I. Oh, wow. And you think nobody's going to freak out looking at the head of an II? Because part of the reason that IIs feel a little scary and creepy are the

fingers, right? That's true. A long kind of alien fingers. I'm not going to have that because I get to give it different arms and legs. Interesting. I'm just to give it the head of an I-I. No one is scared of an I-I because truthfully, it's just, it looks kind of pathetic and, you know, you kind of feel bad for it.

They always look wet. Like they've been drowned in a pool. There's an I-I. But that, just to be clear, is what you think no one is going to freak out at, when 10,000 of these are running around the streets of you. Crop it off just below the chin and give it a chance, mate. Okay. Okay.

So I'm going to start with that. This is, so now that Will has brought up the picture, you have zero chance of winning. The face of this thing is creeper than your face. Dude, I see it on any resemblance. Patrick, could you just do like a duck face and look right into the camera for a second? You know the like, like, kick duck face? Yeah. Brezner, are you seeing this?

That's, anyway, let's continue. Yeah, make fun of people with old ears. Also, I googled, I tried to Google the I-I-I-I, and I spelled it E-Y-E space E-Y-E, and I just found a bunch of human eyeballs. So that won't be my creature. I'm going to go second here so that I could do all three of mine in one turn. So I will, you need a cute face, and it's not. It doesn't just need to be cute. It needs to be comfortable.

It needs to be familiar. And we just discussed recently, I think on the last podcast, a very, this is already happening. I mean, this is, this animal is already, there's tens of thousands of them invading, maybe upstate New York in the surrounding areas. My animal is going to, at this point, just be the head of a squirrel. That's right. people are familiar with it. It's comfortable.

It can't be a rat, and you made the closest thing to a rat. People are comfortable with the squirrel, dude. What are you talking about? Okay. You can't fuck off. You literally have like Chuckie from fucking Chuckie as your head right now.

It's bananas. I don't know what you're thinking. You did just go. We can't go with the rat because that'll freak people out and then picked the head of a rat that exists. So let me elucidate this for you. Look, put a rat, yeah, that's an actual word for us. Put a rat next to a fucking squirrel, okay?

People are not going to run away from a squirrel because they're everywhere. People, rats hide. Rats are hidden. They don't, they only come out and when you see one, you freak out. Squirrels, you're trying to feed them nuts. You love when they dig. They got puffy, fat cheeks when they get, when they get ready for winter. They're cute as fuck.

There we go. Well, well, well done. Wow. Okay. Okay, great. So in a rodent-infested city, Retep's going to release a rodent. Yeah, what are you going to do, forest?

Yeah, Ritep, just so you know you don't go again. This is a snake, right? I know, I know. I know. All right, so I'm going to lead. We're all starting with head. I'll lead with body. I'll mix it up.

Okay. You know, I will mix it up. I'm trying to think of something so cute and bizarre that nobody's going to be. be intimidated by it, and yet they're going to be like, wow, that's, that's really odd, but it deserves to be here. So I'm going to lead with the body of the snow macaques from Japan, the monkeys that hang out in the geysers. Will, can you pull one of those up? So now, now stay with me. You're like monkey body, couldn't think of anything more destructive,

and you would be right. You would be. I was thinking it's pretty cute, and I want to pet it. Okay, see, that's good, and I'm on the right track. But the thing is, the brain, Yeah, look at that. Like that nice fluffy little body. Yeah, it's cute. Not the legs. No, not the legs. No, not the creepy old man face.

So now let's look at that body for a second and go, all right, that's the core. It's got that nice tail. But on the head of that is a lop-eared bunny. Now, now here's why. Nobody's intimidated by rabbits. The lop-eared, if you've never seen a lop-eared bunny, Will's going to pull one up here in a second. It's the cutest. It's like bonkers cute and it's like obtainably cute. It's not like a fenwick fox or a dick.

We're like, yeah, that's cute, but it only lives in Avatar. This is like obtainably cute. This is like, oh, I could have one of these. A lot of weird money. Yeah. Will you work at Lop beard rabbit, I guess, is the right term. Look at that guy. So that's the head that we're working with.

The combination of these animals is a nightmare, forest. What? Are you kidding me? I'm sorry. If I saw 10,000 of these, I don't even know what their legs are yet, but if 10,000 of them were coming into the city, I would be getting my gun that I don't have out to shoot them all. I don't think you would. You'd be like, wow, this isn't going to, like, destroy any habitat because it's just a bunny. It's on this adorable fluffy body.

It's going to hang out in the ponds of Central Park, even in the winter. That's nuts. Nope. Yeah, that is nuts. It is. Okay. So that's, it's getting to the right place. working on it.

Except you're up for one pick to match your rodent head in the rat infested city. I'm not quite sure what you two are thinking or doing. Like I just don't understand. It's bananas because I'm visualizing both of your animals. And they're already terrifying. Right now I have a very cute squirrel face, potentially chubbed up for winter. And I'm going to give it, I'm going to give it the body of a, Labrador Retriever, another very cute, petable animal.

Listen, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm square, but you know what? I'm not, I'm not trying to panic a goddamn city, okay? I'm trying to fucking make, clearly by a squirrel head on a lab body. That's right. Oh my God, look at this. Look at this. You want to pet it, though. You want to pet it?

The head's like big on there. That's a figure. Yeah, well, it can't be. I mean, what do you want me to come up with? I could just say squirrel body. No, you can't. That's against the rules, man. Everybody wants to pet a fucking lab.

They're friendly. It has the demeanor of a lab, too. Did I mention that? All right. Next. I've, unlike either of you, I've, I'm cultured and I've been to New York City. I've experienced it. I've drank it in.

And when I say drank it in, I mean the smell of raw sewage and dumpsters roasting in the sun. And one thing I know is that people are very fashionable. Okay? People shop at Saxo. Fifth Avenue there. All right? Never heard of it. You walk down the street and everyone is wearing leopard print.

Okay. I want my animals to blend in with the people wearing leopard print. Interesting. That's chic. Oh, that's chic, right? So my eye-ey's head is going to be paired with a leopard's spotted body. Wow. So it's going to have the nice, beautiful, common.

Your brain's going to matrix. it in with what you're seeing and women's coats and shoes. You're just going to be like, oh, that's just a fancy lady walking down the street. She's not the best looking in the head, but I like her body a lot. It's not a bad pick. It matches the head size, which I think is actually important. Now here's where I'm going to win is with the legs. No way. All right.

What I think of going out to eat in New York, obviously I think a pizza first because I'm a troglodyte and I only eat pizza. It's a New York. has fine restaurants everywhere, right? Okay. A lot of high-end food. People don't get scared when they see an opportunity, right? You don't go, ooh, I'm scared, but here's a business opportunity.

So I'm going to give my animal the legs and delicious claws of a lobster. Dude, are you trying to build the creepiest animal in the world? You're telling me. No. I'm appealing to women who like fashion, the cuteness of the I-I's little sad head, and then people that own seafood restaurants. Dude, okay. Okay. That's all over the place.

Did she just punishing? We got that coming out of the leopard body with the IA. Cute edible legs, man. I get what you're saying with the fact that it's edible. I'm getting trashed in. People are already giving you the win for us. People are saying I've Insta lost. People are just literally saying, nope.

Someone just said not at all. Basically, they're just like, fuck off. So everyone hates me right now. Well, I mean, dude, you gave it lobster legs. Like, so the mobility is super important to this animal because the way that things move, whether it slithers, it flies, and how it carries itself is very important to how the first reaction is when you see 10,000. of them coming at you.

So my animal is going to have the mobility. And this could go either way. It could be very creepy, or it could be the cutest thing anybody's ever seen with a squirrel head on a Labrador retriever's body. It will have rabbit feet and move very slowly.

They will move slow. They will do small hops. They will not be charging. They will not be slithering with, little lobster claws. I don't care if they're edible. That's insane. They will have a bunny.

Oh, look at those right. Joyce, Will. Good pick choice. Money, help me. Yeah. So that's what we got going. Okay. So squirrel.

That's interesting. That is interesting. All right. So I'm up here. So, okay, so we've got the flop-eared bunny, or sorry, lop-eared bunny head on a snow macaques body. Now, again, I'm trying to keep this thing. I don't want this to freak out anybody.

Not one person. You know, I was starting to think, what are humanoid animal hands, what's going to work? You know what the most adorable legs in the animal kingdom is? The legs... You do.

I know you do. The legs of a corgi puppy. Oh. So here's this fluffy monkey thing with this tail, this unbelievable lop-eared bunny head, super non-threatening. It's not going to be a bad invasive species.

It's basically something you want to tickle. Then you slap those little short. on there and you just got this little, this little, you know, wiggly around feet thing scurrying around New York City. People are going to love it. No. Yeah, but what are the people who own seafood restaurants going to think? It's true.

Yeah, the seafood restauranteurs are not going to be oppressed. But the family ladies who, you know, if they're not looking at the leopard body thinking that, oh, that's one of us, they're going to want one of these things. And that's the only way that I could win this. You could win. Now, I just want to show you one thing before everyone continues. judging me because they're angry. I'm going to show you something

for those watching on YouTube. That is something. That's how a lobster moves. It's cute. It's fun. Yeah, I mean, a cartoon lobster moves that way. A real one. You're looking desperate. You backpedal, backpedal. Just stand with... Do I seem thirsty right now?

Yeah, yeah. Go with your choice. Stick with the seafood restaurant. Don't pretend this is cute. Like, it's not a good luck. I just watched you do it, and it was the cutest you've ever loved. I'm annoyed. People think Forrest won, and I disagree. Pat has zero chance. That was a nonsensical animal. Oh, Jenna Favor came around. She says she sold, and I got one vote. Thank you. So Forrest, why'd you wrap us out of this?

Very good. Very good. Ladies and gentlemen, Brosners, thank you so much for tuning in tonight. I really enjoy doing the lives. It's fun reading your comments as we're here. This bromunity, if you will, has grown by a landslide. You guys are going nuts on the discord you're going nuts on our instagram our facebook our our youtube it's just it's an awesome thing we're all loving it uh retep has merch the wild times dinosaur bones is oil just don't ever forget that there's a t-shirt coming soon we have the logo we have my spirit animal i mean it's just it's just awesome there's no amygdala if you if you're for me that's what's up um and yeah you know we're

going to keep doing this we do this for fun one of these days we're going to get a studio we're going to hang out together. We're going to get drunk in person, but we're going to do that when the world is not on fire because of COVID. So until then, keep joining us like this. Thank you all very much. And good night. Well, good night, you say, but you idiots fucking teased me giving dating advice, which is obviously not happening. You idiots. I knew that. Way to ruin that perfect. And also, by the way, is going to give dating advice this week in our daily videos, making. They're ridiculous.

Ridiculous. By the way, that was very nice. You're definitely a television host. Everybody, thank you for joining us. I want to just say, go to the website slash merch and join the Discord because honestly, the Discord is some of the best fucking people in the world. And it's really fun talking to everybody. There's voice chat.

There's fucking categories of things. People are dropping their pictures of their pets and wildlife. Like there's just so much going on there. It's really cool. It's not just like a bunch of douches talking shit. It's like everyone who's in there is interesting. Like I was voice chatting last week during the premiere. There's like I started following a couple of people on Instagram.

They're like legit awesome amateur wildlife photographers. Cool. It's all people that are super knowledgeable and legitimately passionate. And I was like dog lagging the conversations into nonsense. And they would bring it back into just like people that are interested in wildlife and nature. it's a legit cool community I'm excited that you got that going Peter yeah it's fun and then of course

you know fucking comment on these YouTube videos we're doing the daily videos I got to deal with these assholes multiple times a week now instead of just today so it's painful for all of us but everybody seems to be loving that shit people are commenting the Trump the Trump

the Manatee thing was hugely popular there's a lot of controversy in the comments I loved it daily videos are going just keep Keep doing what you're doing. Peter called me out. But do stay tuned because this week, guaranteed, one weekly is Retap's dating tips. Oh, God.

I'm going to have to do some writing. No question. Good night. Good night.