Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #46 - Apocalypto Cow Fall, Pigtrash Insult, & Bears Eat Ass Too

Episode Date: February 22, 2021

Join us for our 46th week of The Wild Times podcast! We're talkin about an ass eating bear. You DO NOT want to miss it. Watch on youtube @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com/info Join our Discord of fans, wildlife and adventure enthusiasts @ http://wildtimes.club We love you!

And we are back. We're back. It's the Wild Times episode 46. It is a good day. You guys up for some day drinking because it's, this is an early one for us. Usually we're doing it well after dark. You guys good for some gay day drinking? Did you say gay drinking? I'm good for both. I'm good for both. I'm also good for both. I'm also good for both. I'm taking it way back. 2021. Boom. Look at that. Going with the original. Oh, gee. That was podcast number one, dude. where it all started. You're asking me if I'm ready to drink. I have a disco ball on. Nobody knows this. Nobody.

None of the brosters know that podcast number one took place here in my office slash garage and it lasted for seven and a half hours. Nobody knows that. It was forever. It was so long. It was the longest night of my life and then the longest two weeks of editing

that I've ever experienced. It had to have been. I just remember it was seven and a half hours and we just kept talking and doing shit and drinking. And then you guys were like, let's have another drink and do it. I was like, I'm going to bed. It's 4.30 in the morning.

I'm not done. Forrest was literally his eyes were like crossed and he looked like a cartoon character by like one. Yeah. That's good. All right. Well, that's a little backstory. This is number 46, baby. We're six.

Number 46. With 46 evergreen episode. episodes, by the way. So if you haven't listened to them, it's not like you can't go listen to them. They're still good from what I'm told. So, yeah, they're good. And if you don't know who we are, if you are listening for the first time, I'm Forrest Galante, the broologist. I'm joined tonight by the ever handsome broducer, Patrick DeLuca. He owns one hat. It says cat. It's the only hat he owns. It's the only hat he's ever worn. It's the only hat anybody's ever seen. I don't know if he has 12 of them and he just keeps shuffling them or if it's just one disgusting hat that's never

been cleaned. I have no idea. But he's here. Yeah. And then there's the human potato, Retap, who is also here. Listen, I don't know what the, one day I'm the handsome one and Pat's the potato with the bad mustache and the terrible beard. And then the next day, I'm the fucking potato. Listen, guy, do you remember your spirit animal?

You're a blobfish. You are a human blobfish. Listen, I told you, I've investigated that blobfish bullshit, and that is not what a blobfish looks like in its natural habitat. Hobot. Hobot. Well, thank you. Thank you for the introduction, though.

Yes. Love you guys. Pat looks frozen and intense. No, he's back. He's back. I was frozen. I don't know what's going on. It's driving me.

You have terrible internet, mate. What are you doing? You have terrible internet. I've upgraded it to the fastest. I don't know what else to do. Well, before we get into some news, some wildlife, some adventure, all the fun stuff that we typically talk about, I thought I'd address a couple Brosner DMs. Nice. So one came across my beautiful Green Riverstone, green riverstone fossil-clad desk.

Fossil clad, come on. That's what it actually is, by the way. Keep coming up with new desks. From Troy Ryan. And I was like, you know what? Fuck you, Troy. Because he says, hey, guys, big problem here. Forrest keeps claiming he is X amount of podcast straight.

Am I mistaken? But was there a filler episode without Forrest? I feel as insulted as pig trash. Ooh. Pig Trash.com. There was. Forrest did miss one. I don't remember why you missed it.

Where were you? He was out of it. He was lost at sea. I remember. We had to put out a bonus episode. That's right. I was offshore. Didn't come home.

Called us from his sat phone. He's like, hey, hey. I swear to God, it was just from his cell phone in his backyard. Correct. Pretending he was like a float. Yeah, you could hear one of his buddies being like, I heard that damn peacock. It's an offshore peacock.

There's very few of them out here this time of year. There's not a lot. But no, Troy Ryan, you know. screw you for calling me out on my bullshit. You're right. I did miss one. I spent a night at sea adrift. The guys had to fill in without me. What of it, you know?

Whatever. What are you going to do? If you want more episodes without Forrest, let us know. We'll kick him off the show. Right. I will. I'll leave. I mean, not voluntarily.

I'll kick and scream about it. You're cool. I'm out. What else? Let's see. I had a DM from Hank Moylan who said, Hey, guys, love the pod. I'm going to Quito for a wedding this fall

and was wondering if you had any tips on things to do slash see while I'm there. Thanks, guys. I'm not going to read the PS. It says PS Retep is the Battle Royale King. Damn it. I didn't want you to read that. So I have a story about Quito. So for those that don't know,

Quito, capital city of Ecuador, most mild climate of any city in the world. It's the most temperate city in the world. It's the most temperate city in the world. Yeah. It's also a good place to get mugged. I found out. So when I was 21-ish, I went down to the Amazon.

I went into the Ecuadorian Amazon. Had an awesome trip, caught a big anaconda, saw a bunch of herbs, snakes, reptiles, all kinds of fun stuff, did a bunch of photography work. And then on the way back, I was with my buddy Mike and my buddy Nick. And, yeah, as the story goes, basically we're walking down the street, right? And there's a street of all these kids. And there's like cops on every street corner.

And they watch their block. And my buddy Mike, who'd spent some time in Ecuador is like, just don't fucking like step onto their side of the street. The cop won't come over from his block. Like, his jurisdiction's that block. And we're like, all right, whatever, whatever. And, and, you know, like, we go. out, nothing ended up happening to us, Nick and I fly out the next day. Well, Mike stayed in

keto, I think for what was only supposed to be 24 more hours, right? Goes out. The next day, next night decides to go out again. Now he's on his own, right? Nick and I are bigger, dudes, you know, Mike's, Mike's a smaller guy. He goes out, true story, goes out, does a little drinking, nothing crazy, just goes out, has dinner, has a few nice drinks, comes back, turns the corner on that street, gets fucking bum rushed. These kids just mob Mike. When you say kids, are they like 12 or are they like 14, 15? They're like 14, 15.

14, 15. But we're 21. So, you know, and Mike's a scrappy fucker. Like, I wouldn't want to mess with him. And, you know, these kids just mob him and they just start like roughing him up and everything else. And he's just like throwing haymakers and doing the best he can. But he gets just mobbed by these kids.

Like a whole bunch of them gets pinned down. They take his wallet, his passport, and his cell phone. All three. Right? He's supposed to fly out the next day. Goes back to the hotel. He's like fucking devastated. He's pissed off. He has to talk to the U.S. Embassy. He has to talk to the airline. Everybody. U.S. Embassy says, yeah, these things happen. Three weeks, no problem. You'll have a new passport. He's like three, keep in mind, it's like, you know, this was 12, 14 years ago.

So this used to be the M.O. He's like, I kind of fucking stay in Ecuador for three weeks while you print me a new passport. And they're like, no, that's sorry. That's like, that's how it works, sir. you know, maybe we can expedite it in 12 days or something like that. And he's just like flipping out, angry, fucking pissed off. Now, we've been in the juggle for two weeks prior to this, right? That's all we have in our hotel room is jungle shit from camping and everything else. So Mike, being the psychopath that he is, he goes, he sits in his room. I just imagine just fucking fuming all day long trying to make these phone calls. Waits until the sun goes down, waits until about 9.30 p.m. goes into his backpack, pulls out his machete, and shoves

it down his pant leg, right? True story. Now he walks out, walks out onto the street. Yeah, walks out onto the street, turns a corner, guess who's hanging out on the fucking corner of the street? Yep, the same kids. He fucking runs over

there at full speed, tackles one of the kids, they all start to mob him. He pulls out his machete and holds the machete to the kid's throat, right? Real story. Holds the machete to the kid's throat. Mike speaks perfect Spanish, and he's like, Where's my fucking wallet?

Where's my fucking passport? Where's my fucking cell phone? Right? And the kids like, all the kids go scrambling when, you know, this loco white kid pulls out a machete. So he's just Mike and this kid. There's a cop across the street watching all of this the whole time. Won't cross the street off his jurisdiction. So Mike flips the kid around, holds the machete to the back of his knife.

And as Mike tells the back of his neck, as Mike tells the story, walks for 40 minutes through the sketchiest, dirtiest, scariest, scariest fucking neighborhood in the worst part of keto into someone's house with the machetee to the back of a 15 year old kid's neck and the kid goes into the house there's like 12 people in the house staring at him and he's like everybody stay the fuck down everybody sit down nobody stand up or i'm cutting this kid's head off the kid walks him over to a drawer opens the drawer there's a whole pile of wallets and a whole pile no cell phones whole pile of wallets whole pile of uh passports Mike pins the kid down under a knee, holds the machete to him, goes through the passports, finds his, goes through the wallet, finds his, stands the kid up, walks to the door, kicks the kid as hard as he can, drops the machete and just fucking takes off at full speed and got on a plane the next day and came home. I'd like to have him on the podcast.

Yeah, dude. Honestly, I would love to have him on the podcast to retell the exact same story because I could listen to it 50 times. Isn't that insane? It's that good. It's crazy. It's like a movie. Mike Norm, man, I'll get him on the pod. He's crazy.

He's a turtle biologist. He's a humble turtle biologist. He's a wildlife guy, too. He's a lot of Liam Neeson movies, it sounds like. Dude, he's probably got 30 stories like this. I'd never want to fight Mike. He's like 5'7, and he's the last guy I know that I'd want to fight. He's like a terrifying dude.

Well, yeah, he'd pull out a machete and cut your head off immediately. What that says is that he's got a few fucking screws loose. and usually you don't want to fight that guy because that's the guy who's going to have just a piece of glass in his pocket that he was keeping his seat at. Just a raw piece of glass. Yeah.

No, real fucking story. Because it was just, yeah, everybody was like, where's Mike? You know, he had to call his parents. Like, it became a whole thing. Got on a plane the next day. Flew home. Totally fine.

Well, for us has a desk made of shells. I just actually got a new desk made out of bristlecone pine. which is very softwood and you probably shouldn't this desk's not going to last for long so one of our Brosners

who's maybe like he's definitely in my top 10 now because his name is Owen Roberts but he changed his Instagram handle to Broin Roberts which I think is fantastic that more of you aren't doing that yeah start the trend right

he sent me a story that I absolutely love and you're not going to believe this shit is real when Will pulls up the first picture. This is legit. 230 miles east of Moscow. They have discovered that a bunch,

there's a lot of stray dogs in Russia, as we probably remember from the Olympics, discovered a bunch of stray dogs in this one area that are the color of Smurfs. What? They are like wildly blue. They are not spray-painted. Wait, like naturally?

What? Colloidal silver. Colloidal silver, my friend. It's not that they're dosing themselves with colloidal silver for people watching on YouTube. Will's about to pull up a picture. So these dogs... That knew what I was talking about.

In the city of Jersinksk, they think that... So there used to be a factory there that was basically just polluting the shit. Look at that. Are you kidding me? So if you're not on YouTube, you need to go right now or just look up a picture of this. No, don't look it up.

Come here. This is what you must see. This is insane. Wait, I can't believe that they are not just fucking spray painted or somebody to you a bucket of pink to do not. Yeah, I interrupted the story because I'm just blown away. So for anyone listening on iTunes, I mean, they are literally Smurf Blue. Like in my head, I was envisioning like a slightly blue tint maybe. Yeah, right.

This is, this is bonkers. So, for us, are you saying this color doesn't occur in nature very often? No. The rarest color. Didn't you tell us? I'm familiar with it. Correct. It is the rarest color in nature.

This is the color of cool frost Gatorade, which is not a color. I had it over this morning, actually. It is cool. Yeah, that is not a color that should be anywhere outside of that drink. That's insane. No, please tell me how this happened. Yeah, please.

So there's a factory that produced plexiglass, and one of the byproducts of that is something called hydrocyonic acid or hydrogen cyanide, which is extremely poisonous. is compound that is a precursor to the polymers that are used in plexiglass. Okay. So they've got to boil up all these horrific chemicals to then make the polymers for plexiglass. Right. Which I actually didn't know.

Anyway. Nobody did. So they're dumping this shit. Even though this factory had closed a few years ago, they're obviously dumping this shit and it's in the water. So they're drinking this water. And the blue color, they believe, is from, an inorganic compound called copper sulfate that's a byproduct of that chemical.

So essentially, these dogs are drinking this chemical water. And even though the factory closed a few years ago, it's obviously still polluting the shit out of the water. And it's turning them smurf fucking blue. I mean, this is insane. Will, if you Google blue dogs, literally just Google the words blue dogs and pull up the very first image. I'm looking at it now. It's different from the one that you have up. it's just it's not a color

I don't even know how to explain it I don't know what I'm looking at it's unbelievable I mean forest when we were looking for the for the Asian soft shell turtle in Vietnam standing on the banks of a little island

in a lake for two weeks the one day that I wore a blue shirt you were like hey bro nah no no blue I don't want the turtle peeking up and seeing blue it's going to know something's off that's right look at these fuck dogs, man. It is the rarest color to occur in nature. It's one of the reasons blue things like

peacocks and things like that are so coveted in the animal world because it's an infrequent color. And this is not, I mean, this is, like I said, this is cool gatorade or whatever thing I said earlier, cool blast gatorade. Like this is unbelievable. I mean, it's a crazy looking thing. Here's some good news. So this story's obviously gone viral to some extent because we found it. Right. Two of the dogs have found new homes. So how about that? Give me one.

I'll take a book. Are you kidding me? I don't care how sickly he is from cyanide poisoning. I will take that dog. Yeah, that's badass. You still have to take the cat that was found two years after the mudslides by you. There's a fun going, I think, somewhere. It's outside.

I died of blue this morning. Dying cats blue. Just feeding it chemicals. Wow. It is, so the fur is growing blue from the root from whatever they're consuming then, right? Like, that's what we're expecting. You know what's crazy? Like, I, so I'm not a skeptic.

I mean, obviously, I'm a scientist, so I like to think of things in scientific terms. But you always hear this shit like, oh, you know, the chemicals in the water are going to kill you. Oh, don't drink out of plastic cups. You know, all that kind of shit. And I'm like, shut up. Like, you know, I drink out of a plastic cup every day. My balls haven't fallen off yet. know, like, just shut out.

You're living longer, the people are living longer than ever. Right, people are living longer than ever. There's 8 billion of us the most ever. Like, I'm not too worried about the plastic, you know, like that my cup is made out of. I'm actually very worried about plastics, but not in that regard. And so I'm like, shut up with all your chemical bullshit and tap water bullshit and all that, those kind of comments. And then you see a blue dog. And you're like, oh, wait a minute.

I have plexiglass all over. I've got a plexiglass aquarium literally right there. I've got plexiglass. I mean, there's plexiglass everywhere. Like, it turns you a fucking blue. Listen, so I had made the joke about colloidal silver. Will, if you could, just in the background or whatever,

pull up a picture of, just look up colloidal silver, blue human or something. Yeah. So colloidal silver is in the holistic natural community considered to be one of these things that essentially you take it and it kills any type of bacteria in your body. and it kills everything.

It's basically like a cure all, a natural cureol. It's like bollocks, though. It's pure human. So this guy that Will just pulled up, this is real. That's not real. I swear to God.

I swear to God. I've seen this guy. And others like him. Yes. So colloidal silver, some people, you know, they're told that it, that it cures everything.

So they take it regularly and a side effect of it is that it turns your skin this blue. If you're, again, go to YouTube and check this out. This guy is more than Smurf Blue, and he's wearing a blue shirt, which I find hilarious. Look, look, I want to start a Kickstarter right now to bring this guy and that dog together and make a TV show about their life in West Hollywood.

You know, Blue for Two, I've got the title, Blue for Two, they live in West Hollywood. They just walk around. There's nothing more. I don't need to know anything more about the show. I don't need anything more to pitch it. I just want a blue guy and a blue dog that just live in WeHo and just walk around. You literally don't need anything else these days to pitch a show, by the way, because I'm the market and I would watch it based on the title alone.

Blue for two. Yeah. Who wouldn't? I mean, it's incredible. Like, this is, I've learned so much tonight. It's unbelievable. Don't take colloidal silver if you're listening. I think it's a bunch of silliness.

Yeah. This guy looks like Populittle. If this guy had a little cap on and then a stick with a handkerchief tied to the end, this is Papa Smurf is what we're looking at here. That'd be big. If I was him, that's the only way I would dress. Of course. Oh, shit. Wow.

Well, that's amazing. I mean, sort of wildlife news is a Smurf a wildlife? I'm not sure. Guys, we did skip over one Broster DM that I was getting excited for. If we could just circle back to it because it's there. Do it. At Waller Racing 85 said, what would be worse, a murder hornet the size of a man or a giant centipede, the size of a man, and who would win in a fight? So a murder hornet the size of a man or a giant centipede the size of a man, and then who would win in a fight? That's a bad. That's a dumb. That's obvious.

Yeah, it's the murder hornet, right? Well, Waller Racing 85, you're an idiot, and we won't address that question. Next topic. How dare you? Well, the good news is you completely fucked up his name. It's Wallace Racing. It's Wallace, yeah. He probably could get all of our asses. I've had two beers.

We love you, Wallace Racing. But I think it's definitely the murder hornet. For sure, the murder hornet. It can fly. It's got venom. There's terrifying animals. You have a million feet? Right.

That's the counter argument. What about those feet? A hundred. That's it. That's the whole counter argument. Listen, which one would you rather encounter in the wild? The centipede? The centipede, because I could get away from it.

It doesn't have the power of flight. The first thing I think when I see an insect. You guys are always thinking about running away. What if you were put into, yeah, you're right. I mean, it's ridiculous. I would just stomp it with both feet. I think I could be. Dude, you're not going to stop it.

It's the size of a man. You're going to stop. I'm the size of a man. The good news is I'm not the size of a centipede in this scenario. I'm the size of a man. I think you'd be terrified. I'm a trained vicious attacker. A centip is nothing.

You're a meager, anxious, little Chihuahua, my friend. Chihuahua has to. They do. No, no question. Get out of here. Fucking murder horny the size of a man. You're done. You're done. No, that thing rules the planet in in less than a week. By the way, what happened? When you're in a thatched roof hut filming a show in fucking Indonesia and you see some weird insect you've never seen before, the first thing you do is assess, does this have the power of flight? If yes, I'm going to approach it very cautiously. It's got a very much. No, I will eradicate it with reckless abandon with a shoe, sandal, fist.

Anything. Anything. Just scream at it until it falls down. Yeah, exactly. Listen, I'm cackling like an idiot, but it's, I've never been in a thatched roofed hut in the middle of Indonesia. But I could imagine just because, like, if there's a bee, I'm like, I'm like, dude, you're cool. Just go over there.

Right. because it can fly. That's why it's terrifying. Yeah. Because it can fly. If it, if it crawls on a million feet, to quote Reteb,

then it's not very terrifying. I didn't say a million. You just walk slowly in a different direction. Senta. It's 100, but I didn't make the mistake. I said a million. Your words. I said a thousand and that would be a millipede.

God. Don't you have the metric system over there? Guys, there's some news. There's some really interesting news this week. There's something that I loved. I think it's super cool. We've talked about extinct animal

so many times. We've talked about bringing them back from the dead. We've done battle royals with extinct animals. We've talked Jurassic Park and dinosaurs on this show. Well, this is the real Jurassic Park, guys, and I'm not even remotely exaggerating that. There is a beautiful animal, a blackfooted ferret. It's one of the rarest mammals in North America. I'm actually very lucky that I got to see one once in the wild. And the blackfooted ferret, very, very cute. Will, hopefully you can pull up the picture. I put it on my Instagram if you want to find it. Yeah, I play that video. Oh, boy, is that cute.

Isn't it? That's Elizabeth Ann. Isn't she adorable? Yes. Ferrets are the cutest goddamn animal in the world. Well, Elizabeth Ann is the first ever cloned black-footed ferret. That animal was created from frozen cells of a ferret that died more than 30 years ago. Wow.

That's crazy. You are looking at science, my man. That is a cloned animal. Looks totally like, you know, you expect. It to maybe not like look as good as it does. It looks perfect. It looks perfect. What did you think?

It was going to come out with like mange and like, like, because it was cloned. Well, she is covering the paws up and maybe it doesn't have paws or something. I don't know. But you expect there to be like something wrong or they say, well, remember back in the day, and I don't want to dog leg it as you guys say too much, but they had Dolly the sheep that was. Yeah, she lived like six minutes, right? Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

And that's what I'm saying. And that was the last I heard about cloning. Wait, so let me ask you this for us. I don't know how much you know about it. Where did they find the, was this species extinct? No, so not extinct. Critically, critically endangered. I don't know how low the numbers.

But the San Diego Zoo had samples. I think it was the San Diego Zoo. It was done in collaboration with San Diego Zoo and U.S. Fish and Wildlife. And they have a terribly hard time breeding them in captivity. I mean, they're just struggling. They're just disappearing. So, you know, 30 years later, this is a carbon copy of an animal that died, yeah, 30 years ago, you know, in 19, what would it be?

Unbelievable. 90, you know, 1991, yeah. Oh, my God. That was 30 years ago. That's crazy. Yeah. Dude, and by the way, 30 years before that, 1960. Just saying.

Ridiculous. That's incredible that they're able to do this. So what do they do with this now? Do they try to clone more? Or, like, was this just an experiment? Like, what's the reason to clone an animal that's not extinct? Well, that's a good question. I mean, one is because it's headed towards extinction, right?

It's such a rare animal. They're not, they're not. It's like, if we could have done this with the northern white rhino, we'd still have northern white rhino because we couldn't get them to breed. If we could do this with Raffitis, the giant soft-shell turtle, we'd still have them, right? So that's, this is like prevention instead of reaction, which is great in the sense. Yeah.

Now, now Elizabeth N will not be reintrodu. introduced into the wild. They've made that statement. She'll be kept in captivity, see how she, you know, be monitored very closely. You know, this is a new thing. We don't really know what we're doing, so to speak. I mean, I certainly don't know what they're doing. But no, she won't be released into the wild. But genetic cloning in general, you know, it's a tool that can pave the way for conservation of endangered and threatened species and possibly, you know, extinct species. Because it'll supplement traditional and proven measures like habitat protection or captive breeding, you know, disease control, invasive species management, whatever, because

now we can literally create them. You know, we don't have to. And I know that sounds very scary, and it is. It really is. We're playing God in a sense. But like, instead of going into the Everglades, let's say, and fighting to try and hack out every single Burmese Python because they're taking over the Everglades and some, you know, some small rodent in the Everglades is going to go extinct, we can just take that rodent and build a bunch of them in the fucking lab somewhere and keep them in captivity. and then when the pythons, and this is a hypothetical, of course, have come through, wiped out everything Easter Island themselves and their population has collapsed, then we can take those cloned animals and re-release them back into the wild.

Yeah, I mean, so that's the big trend now. I mean, Bill Gates just came out and said that it's the trend of everything going kind of lab grown. I mean, that's just, that's what's going to happen as we destroy the planet with our own natural bullshit. Let me ask you a question. Would you guys want to be cloned? Let's say 20 years from now. No. 20 years from now? If it was perfected and you're like, okay, like, yeah? After you die, I'm saying. So you die naturally and you're like, I want another version of me to live again. I would take a clone right now if they wanted to clone me. If they said they wanted to build a million clones of me, I would let them do it now or after I'm dead. We've all seen multiplicity. No one is not good. They get dumber and dumber.

Multiplicity. I love that every, we've all seen it. No one has ever seen that movie. I've never been heard of it. Are you kidding me? I'm never in a breath of it, I swear. Listen, it's not the best movie in the world.

It's probably not even top one million. But I will say, I've all seen whales of August. I mean, we've all watched that. What are you talking about? Relax. Stop being so angry. Jesus.

Why are you so mad? This is why you're the mad monkey in the fucking logo, dude, and I always tag you as the mad monkey because you're angry. Relax. I just hate your bullshit, man. I mean, you're one of my best friends. I love you very much. I just multiplicity.

I don't like the way that you trailed off when you said you after love. I want you to say it again slower and whisper it, please. I'll call you after and I'll say it slowly. Send it be a text and then fuck off. Thanks. Wait, Forrest, why would you not want to be cloned after you die? What are you talking about there? I mean, it's a clone.

So your consciousness is not put into this new thing, this new body, right? It's a whole new consciousness. Yeah, I mean, in my game, in my game, correct, in my version, no. But that might be possible in the future, but no. Right. But in this hypothetical, your consciousness is not transferred into the new body. Correct. Correct.

There's one of me. Let me let that be special. You know what I mean? Like, that's enough. First of all, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, nightmare to deal with. Patrick can attest. We've been on many, many trips together. I'm very difficult. Can you imagine if there were 12 of me? Can you imagine if there was even two of me? Like, that's a lot for the world to handle. And I'm not saying this because I'm arrogant.

I'm saying this because I know that I'm a pain in the ass. Like, I'll do one life. I'll do it right. Let it go. I'm done. That's it. It's an interesting answer because it's both, it's both something an ultimate narcissist would say and something that like a narcissist couldn't possibly say, because you're like, there's only one of me. There should only ever be one. Right. But at the same time, you're saying, you're saying, so don't create 12 of me,

and it's kind of fucking with my head. I can't tell us. No, I want as many of me as possible. Okay. What if they get, what if each copy gets stupider and stupider? I just like to know that my DNA exact, I'm not talking about reproduction where it's only half.

I want my exact DNA to propagate until the sun envelopes. Earth is my billions of years from now. Would you ever tip? You want to clone it yourself running around or what?

Yeah? Yeah, man. I don't want to deprive the world of this. That's true. Yeah, you're a significant figure. I legit hate myself and I hope everybody knows

that I'm very self-deprecating and the only reason I would want clones is so that Taco Bell could stay afloat in the future. Dude, you could... That's a possible tease. You know the whole fucking... Well, I was just... Sorry, oh, Patrick's frozen.

Oh, go ahead, Forrest. What are you saying? No, I was just going to say, you know, the whole, like, fucking GameStop AMC thing? You can control the stock market. You just make enough clones of yourself, you know? Everybody's just out there on Reddit. Brilliant segue, too. I love it.

Such a good idea. I like that that's what you're going to do with it. Like, it's like the people who wrote back to the future, too. It's like, what if you could go in the future and come back? and it's like, well, I bring a sports almanac and gamble. Right, that's all I do. Literally, yeah. It would make, like, very lucrative.

That is literally, like, if someone was like, you can go into the future for, you know, a month, what would you do? I would just print out the stocks and then come back, get every dollar I could buy them, get rich enough that I would just buy a fucking beach house in Malibu and do nothing. That's it. That's the end. How crazy is it to think, too, that, like, uh, get rich. I always have this thing where I've made some terrible mistake and it, like, destroys my life for a certain amount of time. Like, something I've done and I'm just like, oh, my God, if I could just go back and do that. Like, how close you are to, like, if we could just go one day in the future, dude, you could make a billion dollars.

Like, you can make so much money just by going 24 hours into the future, but yet it's so far and potentially impossible to do, which is unfortunate. No, yeah, it's not theoretically impossible. It's completely impossible. Peter, I gather that you think time travel might be possible. You gather correctly. I mean, just like people thought electricity, they couldn't even fathom it in 1770, mate. You have no idea what's going to happen in a thousand years, let alone a million. Look at the body language. He's very sure that you're a complete buffoon for believing in time travel. Well, this is... I'd like to hear about it.

I'm not going to like a posit theories or anything. All I'm saying is that you, you know, I mean, dude, AI, who knows what's going to have? You ever seen Terminator? Hold on. Before you continue to derail this topic, let's hear, let's hear why Patrick thinks you're such a buffoon. I don't really want to hear it. He looks angry. Go ahead, though.

I'm not angry at all. I'm not actually angry. You look angry. I think anything's possible when it comes to like, sure, could there be aliens? Might we travel to another solar system one day? Yes. all of that's possible. Okay.

Time isn't being recorded on a giant VHS tape in the sky that you can just rewind it or fast forward it. Time is a man-made construct. There is no real thing as time in nature. Listen, dude, okay. Okay, explain gravity. What's gravity then? I mean, how do you explain that? There's no ex-but time is a man-made construct, but we have a sense.

of time. We've just attributed it, these denominations that we use. But, dude, I mean, Einstein's talking about bending space time. Is it being recorded on a hard drive? Where is the past? I don't know. I'm not saying specifically we could go into the past or into the future or what it would be, but do you believe in multiple dimensions? Do you believe in multiple dimensions? Oh, yeah. Okay. So how do you know that that's not in some other dimension related that's connected to this one? You're saying time. You're being very narrow-minded. Do you think planet Earth is inside?

Do you think planet Earth is inside a marble that in another dimension a little pug is wearing it on its collar? We're not talking about it was a cat, first of all, and that was men in black. And second of all, I mean, maybe, I don't know. Are we a battery in a big machine-operated world, dude? I mean, the Matrix was pretty mind-blowing when it came out. Who knows what's going on out there?

Dude, there's scientists, very smart people who have gone to fucking school for 20 years that think that the whole world is a simulation and that we're creating our reality based on what we're thinking. I mean, who the fuck knows what's going on out there just because we've attributed, and I'm not negating science, like our physical world and the way that things happen and the consequences and the things that happen because of the way we interact with it are real to us. And you're going to die if you jump off a building. I'm not saying you can fly in shit.

All I'm saying is that the brain is a universe in and of itself. And we might be living in the marble of a cat's necklace. If you're listening to this podcast for the first time, this is a wildlife and adventure podcast. I'm not sure where we've been for the last 12 minutes. Forrest is manifesting his own reality right now. Yeah. There was some kind of, I don't know, recorded history. say on like YouTube, you could go back and watch it.

You could also skip to write this point right here, right now. This is what the people want. It is. Trust me. No, it is. It's good. I just, you know, I have no dog in this fight. It's not, not my expertise.

So, everybody has a dog. Which is my expertise. Herpetology. What's Herpetology? What have you learned in 46 episodes? That is the study of marijuana, my friend. I'm no dummy. That's Herbatology.

Oh, Herpa? The study of herpes. Damn it. I thought you'd learn something. Herpetology is the study of reptile and amphibians, something that I like very much. And there's big, big, big reptile news this week that I found pretty interesting. Have you guys seen all the shit going on in Texas with the cold? With the weather? Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Crazy. Texas is frozen. There are swimming pools frozen. Aquarium's frozen. There's no power. My researcher that works with me. Her name's Haley. She lives in Texas. She had no electricity. for four days. She said the high in her house in four days was 24 degrees. She just snuggled in bed with her dogs. Literally, she said, I made a tiny fire.

We closed all the doors and we snuggled in bed with the dogs. That's all we did for four days. She made a fire like on her beds? No, they had a little fireplace, she said, a very small fireplace. But it's been a lot of shit going on. 24 is like legit.

I mean, so that's crazy. That's very cold. Fucking below freezing. Yes. Yeah. And it's funny because Haley was telling me how many people are just not like, they just like didn't even know what to do. They just couldn't function. I mean, it's like, I get it. It's really cold. Like, there's whole TV shows about people surviving on this and you're in a house.

Like, you'll be right. But anyway, the reason I bring all this up, the big herpetology news is did you guys see that in South Padre Island, Texas, with this cold snap, more than 4,000 turtles have gone into temperature shock. which is basically a reptile when put into a really cold environment, they're ectothermic, right? Meaning they get, sorry, endothermic, meaning they get their temperature. Their energy comes from the sun. It comes from the environmental temperature, right? That's why you've seen no reptiles in Antarctica or the Arctic,

because it's too cold. There's no energy for them, right? Well, there are sea turtles that hang out typically around South Padre Island in Texas. This cold snap came in, this cold snap that we've never seen before, such astronomically difficult temperatures, and 4,000 sea turtles went into temperature shock. Their bodies just basically shut down, and they ran out of energy because it's so freaking cold.

And a bunch of different groups in Texas have pulled together volunteers and basically anyone they can. And they've managed to save 4,000 of these animals at the South Padre Island Conservation Center. And yeah, there you go. Will, great picture. Like, they're just going out and scooping up these turtles that are basically floating lifeless because they're too cold to function and putting them in the center until it warms up again.

That's great. That's fucking amazing. I love this. I saw this. I thought it was a couple hundred. I don't know it was 4,000. Four thousand animals and counting. It's going up every day because it's still freezing there.

It's not like it's warmed up yet. Yeah. It's coming soon, though. So hopefully, so how long can they survive something? like this. I mean, their whole body, they don't need any food or anything, obviously. They'll be okay if they just keep them here? Yeah, so it's a really good question. I mean, so in old TV shows, and I won't name everybody's favorite wildlife herpetology hero, but in all TV shows where you'd see guys picking up reptiles, right, and you're like, oh my God, it's a deadly black mamba, and then you see them pick up

this real sleepy black mamba that's like, ugh. Yeah. And I am talking like even pre, pre, pre, Steve Irwin era, like back in the day. You'd see these like, you know, kind of like real sleepy snakes get picked up and the host is free handling it or whatever. And now this is inside, this is a trade secret for all you reptile want to be, uh, uh, presenters. They take those snakes, those turtles, those lizards, and they stick them in a cooler with ice. Not anymore. It's very cruel. We know it's not good for the animal, but people used to stick them in a cooler with ice.

And what that does, it just slows them down. Now, they can stay like that for quite a while because it doesn't. kill them, it just slows down all of their body functions until they warm back up. And that's basically what's going on with these turtles. Now, if you leave a turtle outside in 24 degrees, it's going to freeze to death, right? These are basically subtropical to tropical animals. Right. But it can, it can be lowered down so that its body temperature goes really low and it runs out of energy and stay like that in kind of a dormant state for pretty extended periods of time. But what these awesome people have been doing is they've been going out rescuing all these animals, putting them

indoors in places like this, and then slowly warming them back up. I don't know what that room's at. I bet it's at like 72 degrees or something, right? And then the turtles warm back up, and they're fine, but that's a lot, you know, I don't know if you've seen a sea turtle. They're not small, typically. That's a lot of turtles to be storing in your basement until it warms up again. So right now, well, these turtles, I was going to say, we're looking at a room with, what would you say? How many is that? 400 sea turtles? Well, there's 4,000 that have been rescued.

I'd say that's at least a couple hundred in that room, yeah. Do you think they're having it like a fuck fest? I was just going to ask. It's warm back up. Well, actually, that's interesting. Scientifically speaking, that is typically how and when reptiles breed, right, through a temperature queue. Like, something happens, it goes to spring or it goes to fall, temperature's plummet, temperature skyrocket, and they go, hoo-hoo, time to get down. down. So I don't, nobody has been reporting this or talking about this, but I wouldn't be

surprised if they're all cooling down, then waking back up and going, all right, it's go time. Dude, you guys read my mind. I was going to, I was going to ask what, what's going to happen when they all wake up? Because now you have, you have hundreds, probably in any given location of these animals that are going to fucking come to and start moving around. And you're telling me that they're just going to probably, well, they're likely going to start just fucking. Well, you know what happens when you're under a lot of stress. Yeah, you know what happens when you

wake up from a long sleep, right? Yeah. Yeah. Sexomnia. Is that what you're going to say, Patrick? Sexomnia. It's going to be no, of course not. That's crazy talk. But, um, no, that's not what I was going to say, well. Saying morning would. I mean, you wake up. Guys.

Yes. Um, I doubt it. I think these animals are under stress. By the way, I mean, yes, sea turtles can stay without water, but not for long. You know, they're going to have skin issues, they're going to have health issues, are going to have respiratory issues. So I don't know if they're just hosing down the inside of the center or turning on the old, you know, fire alarm every now and then to get a little shower. I don't know how they're doing this, but it's, it's got to be a lot of difficulty to keep this many turtles just like happy and healthy and alive until the storm passes. Right. It's, I love to see.

them do this with animals, to be honest with you. I mean, it's like there's a lot of people fucking struggling out there. I actually don't, I didn't really understand the gravity of the whole thing in Texas until like day three, day four. And I'm just like, this shit is crazy. And then I saw this story and I was like, man, there's still some good people out there who are actually like, you know, helping out fucking, not only are they dealing, likely with their own house having no power potentially.

And then just going and dealing, dealing, picking up fucking turtles out of the, I'd rather be doing that though. You know what I mean? If you're like, you're at home, you're sitting around shivering cold, you got no power, no heat, no electricity, no hot food. Fucking go rescue some sea turtles, you know, go volunteer at South Padre Island and go pick up some sea turtles, you know, like that seems like a much better way to spend your day when there's no other option of ways to get warm than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. It's a beautiful thing. It is. On that note, something came across my dusk.

My dusk? My desk today. He's drunk. And I sent this to W.T. Willie to put in the show doc. And I love what he termed it in bold. It just says bears eat ass too. Have you guys seen this story about the Alaskan woman who got her ass bitten by a brown bear while she was in her outhouse? I have not.

No. Tell me this whole story. God, it's something, it's a movie scene, to be honest with you. She sat down and was bitten by a bear that was denning inside of the outhouse in her fecal pile, basically. I'd imagine to keep warm or whatever. I mean, so, like, that's, every, I've had this fear every time I go camping that a snake is going to bite my dick off when I sit. inside of an outhouse. You know,

imagine a bear. A bear bites your fucking ass when he sit down. It's crazy. You'd be like, how big is this outhouse, by the way? Seriously. But I was just thinking that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. It's crazy. So the bear looked right back up at her through the hole. And can you imagine? So the quote says, I just shut the lid.

as fast as I could. I said, there's a bear down there. We got to get out of here now. And we ran back to the yurt as fast as we could. Oh, my God. So this bear was actually using icy. So I think I'm understanding this. So, you know, in and outhouse.

Right. Well, you dig what's called a long drop, right? Which is just a big hole in the ground. Then you put a toilet seat over it. And so your poop goes somewhere, right? So I'm guessing this bear somehow figured out a way into this hole in the ground. was like, hmm, smells a little funny, but otherwise this is a nice place to hang out for the winter. It's nice and warm.

It's out of the snow. And then came along, said woman and went to pop a squat, and Bear looked up and got a bit of a surprise. That's quite something. That is quite something. And then her brother. You think about when going to the toilet. No. Well, I do, but most people don't.

So she got bit. Pat, what were you saying? She got bit, and then her brother ran back over there to see what bit. her because I don't think it got her that good. Like they thought that maybe a mink or like a raccoon or something and bidder. And so then he said he opened, here's the quote, I opened the toilet seat and there's just a bear face just right there at the level of the toilet seat looking right back up through the hole.

That's a nightmare. Yeah. Yeah. That's scary. Unbelievable. Do bears don't have that. I forget what it's called, but you guys have mentioned it a few times on the podcast, the yellow eyes.

They don't have that, do they? Eyeshine? Yeah. Yeah, they get eyeshine if you look at them at night for sure. It's terrifying, dude. Yeah, but you have to shine a light on him. I doubt she was shining a light down a toilet. I mean, maybe.

You don't know what's coming out of that booty. Can I tell you? Wow, good point. Do you want to know what my biggest fear in life is? I don't know if I've ever told this before. I might have told Patrick this on one of our drunk nights. I don't think so. Do you know what it is for tip?

No. So, you know, we like to make a lot of jokes. I've got no amygdala. I don't fear anything. right, I'm definitely not scared of bears in the toilet. I'm not scared of snakes. I'm not scared of sharks. None of those things.

You know, done the whole guerrilla warfare thing a few times. My biggest fear in life is port-a-potty splashback. There is nothing that scares me more than the idea of going into a porta-potty and getting some splashback. Nothing. Nothing in this world. I can't do it. I won't do it.

It's very unsavory. And also, I mean, I think that. I think that it's a valid concern. You could be diseased. It's disgusting, dude. Have you ever, I mean, 2021, literally nobody this year has been into a porta-potty. I don't think they exist. If you own a porta-potty business that only caters to events, you're not doing well at the moment.

But it's, oh, God, I don't even need to get into it. But it's just, it's just like, that cocktail of feces that's hanging out down there. the potential for splashback. I can't do it. I cannot do it. I won't do it. A lot of times I'll, I just make the joke. Like, someone will, like, Reteppel, like, cook, like, some dinner or something and put the plate down, and I'll say that looks like a port party at Woodstock. Oh, God. I went to the Woodstock in 1999, where there were the fires, and they burned down all the camera posts, and, like, women were getting, like, grabbed and fondled in the crowd. I was at that.

Nice. You're 18 years old. Now, I hadn't slept in several days. But so I got there the second day because we heard, I lived an hour away, we heard the fences had been torn down and you could just walk in. So we did. Okay. A group of five of us didn't bring a tent, just had our wallets. And so like that, and then it rained the whole time. It was a fucking shit show.

And then there was no free water. So you had to pay $8 a bottle to get a bottle of water. It was trash. Like, there was a reason everyone went bananas crazy. I got a beer bottle broken over my head. It was a disaster. Wow. But at a certain point, like the first time I had to pee, this was day two of like a four-day thing.

I went into a porta-potty and so many people had shitting it already that there was like a little gnome hat of shit that was coming up out of the hole. so people were clearly standing and shitting. And so I was like, okay, not that one, went into another one. Same thing. They never cleaned them the entire time. So people were just shitting in the open. It's just my nightmare. Everything you're saying is my nightmare.

Like there's nothing, I'm not kidding. There's nothing I fear more than the scenario you just outlined. It was so bad. We stole a plastic tarp out of someone's campsite. And me and my four friends, we laid. laid it out flat, laid inside the plastic tarp, and then folded it over the top of us as our sleeping arrangement. Nice. Yeah, it was good stuff.

And you spent a night like that? Two. Yeah, two. And here's the problem with that woodstock. You got some shit under the tarp or anything like that. I don't know if I don't think anyone shit the whole time. I don't even know if anyone ate the entire time. So something that came across my desk here that I kind of like.

Okay. It's a news story. But let me start by asking you this. What's the tallest? Have you ever been like cliff jumping or like, you know, people like on vacations go and jump off rocks and cliffs? It's sort of like one of those things where people are like who can jump off the higher one. Yep. For us, I already know the answer to this.

You're the guy who's going to go to the highest one because you got to be the alpha. No, enigma. But Peter, what's the highest? Are you the guy who like is like, let's go to that one? Like, are you the guy who wants to go challenge yourself when you jump off a rock or like go cliff jumping? Well, first of all, cliff jumping is a laughable notion. I would never do such a thing. The only time I'd ever...

You would do it. It's fun. Cliff jumping? Yeah. The most I've ever gone and would ever go, I want to say is like... Not I want to say. I did it in Arizona. I remember specifically and it was like maybe like 12 feet or 10 feet.

Dude, that's still pretty scary though. I didn't know what would... Yeah, I didn't know what was in the water. That's like the roof. I can almost touch that if I jump. No, you can't. Normal-sized men can, for sure. So where I went to college in Ithaca,

it's the whole city is just built on a series of gorges, right? So there's waterfalls, gorges, great hiking, tons of cliff jumping. So you get their freshman year, and that's one thing you do. And there's like a big spot where everyone goes. and there's one that's like 19 feet and then there's one that's like 29 feet. Right? So it's like 10 feet higher.

The 19 footer was scary. I did it. The bottom of your feet hit. It kind of hurts your feet. So a bunch of kids from my dorm went, we all did the 19 footer. We go to do the 29 footer and everyone except two guys were like,

I'm out. Dude, 29 feet is so fucking high. So this one guy... Three basketball hoops tall. Yeah. This one kid who's now a brain surgeon, legit, he's like the littlest kid in my dorm decides to do it. He does it.

His form is terrible, and you hear the loudest smack ever. His back kind of was like almost the point of contact. No, he been added. He did one of the years. Yeah, he did, dude. Oh, that's bad. That's a bad. He comes up.

And I'm not kidding when I say this guy's like 5'2. He's tiny. And he surfaces out of the frigid, waters and just makes this noise where he goes, eh, eh, which for four years, like, he would just be talking and we would all just go, eh. So anyway, my tallest is 19 feet. 29's way too high for us.

What do you think the tallest you've done is? I know the tallest I've ever done. So it's at Fallen Leaf Lake in South Lake Tahoe, and it's the high jump up there, and it's 68 feet. What? Dude, that's insane. Yeah. Get out of here.

Yeah. Why did you do that? It's fun. You free fall for like fucking long time. A good half a second. Yeah, no, it feels, it's not seconds, but it feels like it. But it's, it's super scary. Like, you get up to the top and there's this little lip at Fallen Leaf.

And it's like, everybody's like, oh, that's the high one at 68 feet, you know. And there's like maybe two people a day that go off it. And everybody's going off the, like, 25 foot jump. And everybody's talking about it. And I was like, fuck it, let's go. And so I, you know, the typical climbed up there and just, I was the only one that went that day, I think, or at least of our group. And everybody's like, go, go, go, you know, and he just did the running jump. And you just, you're falling for a long time.

Yeah, dude. So did you, well, so you obviously had some information about the, about the water underneath. So tell me, what was your technique going in? What was your technique going in? like just like feet first trying to yeah so the big one that I I don't remember so two things I know about jumping off a high stuff one I had that bad accident that everybody knows about but um I'm always told that um 80 feet is the cutoff where water starts to like break bones that's what I've always been told so doing the 68 footer was like all right you're getting pretty close to the just a sprain

just a sprain so um and then someone once told me this I don't know if it's true or not it's super important to keep your legs locked out, your toes pointed so you don't go flat foot, and your butt clenched, because you don't want to get a 68-foot waterfall enema. So I went, yeah, I just remember I went, you know, arms like that, you jump and you kick for a bit because you have so much time, you're like, fuck around for a half second. And then, yeah, arms crossed, toes pointed, like stiff as a board, and you just, and you go deep because I remember, you know me, like, I hold my breath a long time with all my free diving, and granted this time I wasn't as into it.

But I remember hitting the water and then starting to like kick up for air. And it was like, well, holy shit. Like I really had to swim to get back to the surface because you go so so far down from that height. But yeah, no, if anybody lists any Brosner listening, I think it's the Fallen Leaf Lake jump. But yeah, Fallen Leaf Lake Jump, I believe it is. I just Google imaged it. It's nardee. Do you find it?

Yeah. Yeah, what were you thinking, sir? Hey, Peter and I were at a place in Kauai. We took a little vacation to Kauai a handful of years ago. I don't know how many years ago that was. Beautiful. 2017, maybe? North Shore.

Just fantastic. There's a place there called the Queens Bath. And it's really dangerous. So you do this hike down, really cool hike. You get down to the Queens Bath, and there's a big cement pillar, and it tells you how many people have died in the last, like, 10 years or whatever. And it's like a hundred. A lot of people die there. And so what happens is it's this like sort of cove.

And the waves are really big on this part of the north shore of Kauai. Okay. And what happens is people, you stand on the edge of the cliff, right? It's not even that big of a jump. It's like, let's say 25 feet, right? Okay. Too big for me. And so you wait.

The waves come in and the water is like almost at your feet. It's like five or ten feet below. Yeah, it's right there. Yeah, and then it falls out. And then you jump. you wait for it to come in it comes in brings you up the rock you grab onto the spot and then you rock climb back up

and so we were watching some of the local teenagers do it and I was just kind of like someone we're about to see someone just disappear dude so gnarly just the shit that we do as humans so here's the news story I thought made me think of all this so this is a story

Mel Gibson recently did an interview he was talking about the movie Apocalypse which he directed Does ever see that movie? Yeah, I loved it, actually. A lot of people didn't like it. I thought it was great. Can I do a quick aside before you get into it?

I was on an airplane, and this is back pre before I was scared of airplanes and headings, massive anxiety and any bit of turbulence. I don't know what happened as I got older, but there was a chick next to me, and she didn't speak very good English, and there was tons of turbulence, and I had headphones on, and I was watching Apocalypse on my laptop. And the part where he's running away from the fucking thing where they're chopping all the heads off and they're rolling down and they're all chasing him, I'm like watching that and the plane is shaking. And this chick's crying and she grabs my arm. And I'm like, it's okay.

And I'm like watching Apocalypse. This really intense part. It was fucking nuts. Did you scream? Did you scream? Were you like, ah? No. I was into it, man.

And she was like, I'm just like, leave me. I'm like, you're good, you can hold my arm, but shut the fuck up while I watched this. So Mel Gibson was talking about the making of the film, which they're filming down in the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico. And they were filming some scene at this river. And there were some, you know, domestic cows. And this cow decided to try to cross the river. And I don't know if you've ever seen, like, videos of, like, Yellowstone, when the bison try and cross the Yellowstone River. And some of the babies will get washed down the river.

So this happens to this cow, and they're watching it. Yeah, so they're watching this cow, and it starts getting swept away towards the waterfall, which is right there. 170 foot drop. 170? Oh, dead. Dunzo, instant death. Got to be. Giant cow, 1,000 pounds.

To Mel, he says, it gets washed over, and they could see it going down the fall, and then they could see that it was basically in this just crazy white water. and so they just assumed it was a dead cow. And then he said, a local guy kind of went over to the bank where the cow was being pushed towards on the other side of the waterfall and started saying something to it. And he said, all of a sudden the cow kind of sprung to

and then swam over to the edge and just walked away. Oh, my God. That's wild. That's 170 foot's insane to survive that. I mean, imagine as a human if you did that. Would you ever stop telling that story? No, absolutely not. Do you remember like a, like, dude, we must have been all kids, but there was that woman, I think it was a woman that got in a barrel and went over Niagara Falls and then was fine? A lot of people have done that. What? A lot of people? People, it used to be like a thing that was like a big stunt. Yeah. I remember it was a thing. Yeah. And it's like someone went off Niagara Falls in a barrel and then got out and was like, I'm okay. It's like, what the fuck do you do that? I mean, it's safer than, it's safer than just going over, uh,

Not in a barrel, I guess. I suppose, yeah. So I was going to say that Niagara Falls Barrel, the first person to ever do it and live was a 63-year-old school teacher named Annie Edson Taylor. That's what I'm thinking of. She was strapped for cash and seeking fame. And she did it and was fine. 63. By the way, I'm 37 and I already feel like I'm going to break my foot when I walked out the stairs.

I don't know. When I'm like, you know, almost twice this age, the thought of me going, oh, fucking Niagara Falls in a barrel is, it's, I'd be, I would just, I would rather probably not die, but I'd rather probably be addicted to heroin or something. I think this summer we should all go up to Tahoe, go to Angora Lakes, or is it Angora? Yeah, Angora Lakes, Fallen Leaf Lake. I can't remember one of those two. And do the Angora Lake Cliff Jump or Fallen Leaf Lake Cliffon, whatever the hell wanted it.

I'll go and I'll film you doing it. Yeah, I'll film you. We all have to do it. We can hold hands. It'll be magical. Are you out of your fucking mind? This is the 69 foot one? Yeah, 68 is what I've been told.

There's the, no. Google says 70, FYI. I want to go. Geez, well, I'll go. I'll go higher. I'll take the over. Yeah. How don't you just jump out of a plane into a puddle?

I've tried. I've tried. I was Patrick. One time I threw a fit because we couldn't get a plane that I wanted to jump out of, basically. That is great. Do we know about a 1,600 pound cow went over a hundred and how big was this waterfall? 170 foot waterfall and got up and walked away.

Listen, there's something about the physics of being in the water. The mass and the mass and the water. And then they're fat. The other thing too is like when water is broken, right, the surface of water. So the water surface holds a lot of tension. If you hit it from high up enough, it's like hitting concrete because of the amount of tension. And I don't really understand the physics behind it. But when the water surface is broken and it's not flat, that is not the same case.

And I think there's something to be said about going off the waterfall into broken up water as opposed to, you know, jumping onto flat water. I don't really understand it. But I think that's something. In any case. And it's the same with landing on land, right? So there's a story, there's a couple stories of people who have fallen, no, who have fallen out of. of airplanes and survive.

And it only happens if you land on a hill. Right. If you land on a slope for some reason. Oh. Well, that makes sense because if you,

well, it kind of makes sense if you're, I mean, it definitely is different than just fucking boom. Like being stopped immediately where all your fucking organs just go shooting basically.

You know, I mean like your whole innards, everything is just like boom. You hit something. You go, you're going on 200 miles an hour and you stop completely. Whereas, like, if you hit a slope,

maybe your feet hit and, like, you don't just completely stop, you keep, you get scraped up and banged up. Here's a quick piece of trivia, and I think Brosner's love this show because they get tidbits that are valuable on what to do. Yeah. Let's say you have to, you're in a burning building, you're on the fourth story.

You have to jump out. Otherwise, you're just going to, you're going to die. The fire is right behind you. Yeah, 40 feet. Okay. What is the correct way to jump that most, that increases your chances? of one survival and two not being, you know, what's the best way to jump to minimize injury

and death? Head first. Head first. That's definitely not head first. Head first with your hands out, so you land on your wrists and hands. Oh, man. You're a fucking asshole. Forrest?

Relax. I'm wondering if you, like, want to take the impact on, like, your feet and legs, like, stiff-legged or something like that. I almost feel like you want to slide down the building somehow. Okay. So that's not an option in this case. You're not Spider-Man. This isn't a Battle Royale.

You don't have the powers of a spider or any other animal. I'm not saying like you slide on it. I'm just saying you kind of... I'm going to guess. All right, here's my guess. One leg down. Like you do one leg. Yep.

God. Sounds terrible. You actually jump flat out like a flying squirrel into a push-up position. There are videos. Yes, this is how firefighters are trained to do it. There's actually a video of a firefighter and a woman. He's helping this elderly woman jump literally four stories.

And you jump basically onto your chest into a push-up position. You're going to break your wrists and elbows, and it's going to hurt real bad. But it's going to minimize damage to your spine and your brain theoretically. That's interesting. I feel like it would stop your heart. You know what I mean? Because you're just like, boom. But I guess that's why you have the push-up position.

Chest first, you will stop your heart. Yeah, if you bang your chest hard enough, it'll definitely stop your heart. But do you want to take all the impact in your arms? Oh, God. To be honest, though, I mean... This has not been a good night. I feel like we've talked about three things where I'm like, I don't like that. It's all good, though.

But wait, so, okay, guys, would you rather have two broken arms or two broken legs is the question? It's tough. I would rather have two broken arms and still be able to go move around. and walk around. I would look, I'd rather lose both of my arms than be paralyzed, right? So. Right, exactly. If I have to jump out of a four-story building, I won't do this because I'll be too scared

and I'll just jump feet first. Correct. But technically, it's what you're supposed to do. How do you fucking mentally prepare for that? This is morbid. That's crazy. This is terrible. I don't like it.

Well, that doesn't believe in time travel. We just saved a life for us. We just saved a life. That's true. That's true. building do this. Will? Guys, yes.

Yeah. What do you think, Reteb? I think there was big fanfare about this, and we have now talked about this, and we want to do it on Pod Forrest. I'm going to let you introduce it because you did such a good job the first time. Thanks, man.

You know, I'll do it. Forrest is bothered. He's bothered by all the hebes. It feels like he can't focus. He's fog-brained. There's a lot of things that we've talked about tonight. There's fucking deer with eyeball hair. and there's just jumping out of

don't care for it. Well, that was a daily video that will be coming out this week. Whatever. All right. All right. We have a segment on this show, a wonderful segment,

a very popular segment, called fact or fiction. Now, recently, our everybody's favorite producer, W.T. Willie, the guy with the mystery hair pops on the screen, and what he does is he reads off

some facts. And Patrick Retepp and myself will take our best guess at whether it's fact or it's fiction, and we'll see who is correct the most. W.T. Willie, join us. Lovely. There are you.

How are you? He's the most handsome one now. For those watching on YouTube and not just listening, he has what appear to be those large earplug-style earrings. They're gauges. They're called gauges. Yeah, these are gauges. Those are actually, I believe,

the first-generation Bluetooth headphone that came out in 2003. A fun fact. I once asked for wireless headphones for my birthday, and my grandmother gave me ones for air traffic controllers that were like, they were noise cancelling, but they didn't play music. Right. It's just amazing.

Completely useless. What a good gift. Giant ear plugs. She's like, I don't understand why Will wants these, but these are what he asked for. Is Will a mask car? Is Will a big time grandma gift? Yeah.

Does he have a motorcycle? Oh, that's funny. All right, Will. Let's do it. Let's get into Factor fiction. We'll pull that microphone a little bit closer to your face so I can hear you a little bit better. How does this sound now? Much better.

Much better. All right. Let's have it. Welcome to Factor Fiction. Some of these are real. Some of them I wrote. And I honestly, I stress myself out more trying to make up fake facts for you guys than really anything for my entire job. It's the hardest thing I do all week.

That's for sure. And he's been working for three weeks 24-7. Yes, sir. That's right. Here we go. All right. What do we got? Number one.

Actually, before we start, who goes first here? What's the order of operations now that we have three contestants? Retail Patrick me. Yep. Least the knowledgeable to most knowledgeable. There we go. Okay. Number one.

The most reliable way to figure out the age of a blue whale is to measure the color of its earwax. Hmm. Fuck you, Will. This is... The color of its earwax could very well be true, but you're sneaky, and I feel like you've been working on this like it's the cure for cancer. I am going to say that this is, though, indeed,

a fact. I mean, it just sounds factual. I don't know. It's like rings on a tree, maybe? I don't know. I'm not going to take that long. I'm just going fiction. Fuck off.

Patrick. There you go. I'm going to go with Retep on this one. I think it's a good way to gauge age. I'm going to say it's fact. It's indeed true. Yes! Yes!

Your wax color. What a thing. Who would I think? Well, I'll tell you what made me think of it. My dear departed grandfather, who I loved very much, in his old age, got some real hairy, real waxy ears, I recall. And it was, I always remember thinking, and this is a true story, I always remember thinking, why is it so dark? Because I would stick my finger in my ear and look at my ear wax, and it would just be a nice, a nice amber light color.

And then I'd look over at his as a teenage boy and be like, ugh, it's so dark. Why is it so dark? And I remember thinking that. And then Will brought this up, and I'm like, yeah, maybe it had something to do with his age. Very good. That's the whole story. That's the whole story. Humans, by the way, I'm starting to grow nose hair and I have to trim it now.

It's very annoying. Isn't it awful? Yeah. It's ridiculous. Shut up, Forrest. You're like 22. What are you talking about? My barber asked me if she could trim my ear hair not too long ago.

And I just about stormed out of the barber shop. I was living. Yeah. You let her, though, right? Of course, yeah. I'm not a savage. All right. One to zero.

A big goose egg for the produce. I'm going to, I'm going for a little more of a simple reverse psychology play here. All right. Don't give us any history. Female, female squids have vaginas. Dude, I don't, why did you have to preface it with that? Because now, and I know what you're talking about because we said, what was it, kangaroos have three vaginas? I don't know.

But listen, female squids have vaginas. Of course they do. But they can't because this is a trick. So fuck off, Will. This is a... Fiction. Facts. All right.

All right. Fact. I like that. Pat just going for the... Yeah, hard. ...bend opposite. Whatever Peter says. It's a good...

It's a winning strategy in the game. Um, pretty sure both squids just have cloaca. So I'm going to go... Fiction. That's true. It's fiction. They do not have vaginas. Squids.

You gotta stop using the word vagina. I feel like you've done this three times. It's not scientific to be like, they got a vagina. You got it right, shut up. We got it right, Pat. The problem is, what I was reading is that it's actually very hard to tell what they have. It's kind of an unknown situation. There's like these weird like spermophores that like you shovel the sperm inside into like this like mystery hole.

I could call it a mystery hole. It might be more. Mystery hole. Also, cloaca. Yeah, mystery hole is nice. Mystery holes great. Don't you remember, didn't everybody, do you know, dissect a squid in high school? That was like a thing. You dissect the squid in high school?

We did a pig fetus. Nobody's done that. I believe. Yeah, pig fetus and a frog. My high school was very poor. So we got Kalamari to cut up. Well, you got pig fetuses. Poor, you lived? Oh, yeah. You were in, were you in high school? No, I was here. I did two years of high school here in California. In Santa Barbara, you had a, you were at a poor high school? No, Hollywood. All right. Number three. Okay. Number three. traditionally Mongolian eagle hunters would sacrifice their horse as a means to build trust and eventually tame the bird damn that's dark

say it one more time sorry so Mongolian eagle hunters yeah who when they were attempting to catch a new eagle they would sacrifice their horse as a way to tame it and build trust with the bird

and eventually make it their hunting eagle Fiction, false. It's too big. It's too big of an animal. It's unnecessary. They could do it with something smaller like their wife or their daughter. I just pulled a Larry David on Will there. I really analyzed his facial features and what he was doing with his face. Yeah, I've been trying to poke your face for all these, but it's very difficult. Psychologically, I don't believe that Wild Times Willie would do three consecutive facts.

So, indeed, I agree with Retepe. This is fiction. Oh, man. The last one was a fiction. I thought, dumb dumb. I... Oh, shit. Anyway. It's all right.

We've got one fiction, one... No, sorry, two fictions coming out of you, too. Man, I feel like... It's hard to make that up. I also don't know why you'd have to sacrifice a horse to make an eagle like you. Right. Yeah, no, I was gonna go fact

because it just sounds way too crazy, but I'm gonna go fiction. You don't have to... You don't have to... You don't have to kill a horse to make an eagle like you. That's nonsense. That's true. It's fiction.

It's fiction. I tried so hard. That was close. I was real close to call in fact on it. I was like that sounds like some weird Mongolian thing that I've never heard about. Yeah. It's like, hey man. Yeah.

So what's, you want a pet eagle? All you got to do is just fucking kill a horse in front of it, dude. Yeah. I'll love you forever. It's no sense. That's okay. Yeah. My joke was gold.

It's fine. Fuck, I hope it's good. All right. C cucumbers Pinch out five Eiffel Towers worth of poop per reef per year. Seagulls pull out

No, five. Cucumbers. Although that'd be amazing. If a seagull pooped out an Eiffel tower worth of poop, that'd be incredible. That'd be weird. But... They eat enough to do it.

Okay. Cucumbers poop out five Eiffel towers worth of poop per reef per year. Nah, get out of you. They're like this big. So we're saying

one sea cucumber poop set out per year? Per reef per year. Per reef per year. Well, I mean, your enthusiasm about that makes me believe that this is a fact for sure, 100%.

Cheers, mates. Fact. Cheers. I will also say fact based on no knowledge whatsoever because this is so crazy. and ridiculous. It is crazy. That it's just,

if you made this up, I'm worried, and we're going to have to find a new producer. Man, I, all right, just fiction. That's too much poop. The sea cucumbers are tiny.

He hates poop. The fact. Is it really? Yes. It's four for four, baby. Wow. This is legit my, I might quit the podcast after this one.

Yeah, Peter, are you in the lead right now? Are you four for four? He is. Yep, four for four. Hideous. Here's the big one. Here's the big one.

All right. Here we go. Smile, Pat. You look ugly. It's because of my internet. I'm pissed. Emperor penguins, along with many other species of penguin, sneeze salt out of their eyes.

Sneeze salt out of their eyes. A sneeze is such a gray air. a term. I mean, a sneeze, we don't even know what it really is. You don't know. Most people are familiar with what a sneeze is. There's a difference. Scientists still don't know why we yawned. Fuck off for us.

To get oxygen to the brain. They do know. They very much. No, they don't. That's legitimately just a theory. It's not proven, and you guys are insane. Octopus or aliens. Dinosaur bones as oil. Well, that's true. Let's go. Come on. Zebra. Out of space.

Quick. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. I'm trying to fucking think. What is it again now? Can you say it one more time? Any time. Emperor penguins, along with other species of penguins,

sneeze, salt, out of their eye. This is a fiction. Oh, wait, hold on. Both eyes. Why would you clarify that? There's so many little fucking things. All right. I'm going with... For God's sake. I'm sorry. I'm going with...

I'm going with... Fiction, fiction, fiction, fact, fact. I'm saying fact, final answer. Fact, fact, fact. He really wants to go 5'0, and that's why he's freaking out. It's very true. Fact, fact. I am going to say,

Emperor penguins. Yeah, of course they do. We've been, we've seen in Galapagos, we've seen the marine iguanas that are constantly sneezing salt out. Emperor penguins, they're swimming in the southern ocean. Yeah, yeah. they're sneezing fucking salt out of their eyes.

Why not? Yeah. They got to excrete salt somehow. I don't know that. I'm going to go fact as well. Wow. You guys, Peter, you're the champ. Five and O, that's correct.

Wow. You almost fact up. But you switch it at the last second. You hear that? Final answer, baby. That is right. All right. Good night, everybody.

I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. Goodbye, Ries out. See you later. Amazing. Win and Factor Fiction. Woo! Do you. Thank you.

Thank you for joining. us. Always a pleasure to have you on screen hosting the Factor Fiction segment. Curious to know how the Brosner's did if they were playing along. Leave us a comment. Let us know. And yeah, that was good. I definitely, I wet the bed on this one. I got to say, it was hard to be on the other side of Pat's death stairs. It's hard to know I was being psychoanalyzed. I really tried to keep it. I mean, I did a good job. I mean, I I came in dead last, so I know nothing. All right.

Peace, boys. All right. Thanks, Will. Look, factor fiction's great. It is. But is it really why people come to this podcast, or do they come for something else for us? They come for one thing and one thing only. A little acronym of BR, something that needs a bit of a buildup.

Oh, man. I just orgasmned a little bit. Look, we've done 40, this is number 46. We've done 45 podcasts. I think 42 of them were just straight up animals fighting each other, cute animals, all sorts of things. We did a draft of cereals, and boy, that people love that. We did death row meals. Oh, love that one.

So good one. All right, so here we go. You have created a new umbrella corporation. Okay. Okay. Your corporation will be acquiring three fast food chains. We are doing a snake draft of fast food chains. Oh, God, this is so good.

Yeah, this is good stuff. I have a feeling that we may get into very nasty fights about this. I might come to both of your houses tonight and murder you and your families. Should we just give Retep the first pick since we already know what it is kind of thing? Yeah, I think that makes the most sense. Let's just get it off the tape. Well, unless one of us just takes it, just upset him. Let's give him the first pick, because he will, like, he knows where I live.

He knows where you live. Yeah, right. No, it's unsafe. Right, so the Brewsters are going to weigh in. They're going to vote. Who makes the best, whose corporation is the best, who has the best basket of goods with the three fast food chains? Retep your first.

Yeah, I mean, obviously, you need to, you need to, when you're weighing in, you need to consider the justifications for each selection as well because that's what this particular battle royal is all about and it's my specialty. So I will start with Taco Bell. We all knew I was going to pick Taco Bell. Shocker. And listen, it's not shocking.

It's not a shocking selection. And let me tell you why I picked Taco Bell. Taco Bell has one of the best social media departments, campaigns, Whatever you want to call it out there. I follow them on Instagram. What? Live Moss.

Live Moss. I mean, that's from the 80s or whatever. But now they're on Instagram. They are posting, they have a Taco Bell on some luxurious coast where they sell alcohol. They post a video. They had an influencer. Go in there. Order her food.

It was like a fine dining experience. Get her beer, whatever it was. It was a white claw. And sit. on the patio, overlooking this beautiful coastal area, enjoying her delicious Taco Bell. So I definitely want that type of social media power under my umbrella. They obviously know what the fuck they're doing.

It has nothing to do with the fact that you eat there four times a week. Nothing at all. Listen, that's a perk. Free Taco Bell is always a perk for anybody. That is a perk. All right, Forrest, you're up next. Sure. Yeah, I'll take a little low-hanging fruit, like,

Peter. I'm going to go for the best burger in the fast food world. Come at me. Fist swinging, if you disagree. If you say five guys is better, get the fuck out of here. Because we all know, if you're from the West Coast, best coast, it's in and out burger. Straight up, no comparison. Also, I'm pretty sure they make like a billion dollars and they're still a privately held company. Really good Christian morals. Not that that's particularly important to me, but it's a thing. Yeah, just a good burger, secret menu, in and out. Listen, the burger is good. They make a lot of money.

I'm not down with the fact that they put the Bible verse on their packaging. And it's not because I'm anti-anti- Yeah, they do. I've eaten in and out many times. Where is there a Bible verse? They don't do that. It's literally on the back of it. Are you insane?

The bun? On the box? on the box. Yeah, it's on the bun. It's inscribed on the bun. You eat it. But hold on, let me finish real quick. I just want to say, I'm not against it.

I just don't think that people should put their personal moral beliefs into their fast food business, a la that and a la chick filet. So if you pick chick filet, fuck off, Pat. All right. So I wasn't going to because I've only eaten it once. I was with Forrest and our local production assistant in Louisiana. It got us chick filet for lunch. It is delicious.

That's the long time I've ever had it. I've never sought it out. All right, so I'm going to start with what I consider to be the low-hanging fruit because I like when a company can admit when they make a mistake. About five years ago, there was a huge advertising campaign by a fast food pizza company. And the thrust of the campaign was this. We know our pizza sucks. We're sorry, we're changing our recipe.

This is called Domino's Pizza. I thought you're going to say little Caesar is interesting. They changed their recipe and it is delicious. If you get the thin crust, fantastic. If you get the deep dish, wonderful. Regular kind of whatever. Domino's pizza knew that they had fucked up by making disgusting pizza for many years that was cheap.

And they fixed it. And so I'm going to acquire Domino's first. So they really said we know that our pizza is gross than we're making it better. Legit. And they advertised it during every NFL football game for an entire season

and they really changed the recipe. All right. Am I frozen? You were? You're good now, I think. You said, dude, and then I didn't hear you. Like, explain it. Okay.

Dude, they advertised it during every NFL football game for an entire season. They changed the recipe. Domino's is legit. That's number one. My corporation also will seek to make money.

High volume, low margin business. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to just go classic. McDonald's breakfast all day. Shut up, Forrest. God damn it. He had to do it.

He had to do it. You had to. I mean, someone had to grab it in the top four, right? You have, I mean, do you want to be the richest company in the world or not? Because Mickey Dees is, I mean, it's everywhere. It's everywhere. Also, I'm not happy about it. I worked there. I know the inner workings of how to make all the same.

I was not allowed to operate the milkshake or fry stations, but all the meats, boy. Okay. I am. I am. He is. I'm going to diversify my portfolio. I've got the best burger. It's going to be quite simple, really.

Now I'm going to get the best Mexican food. I'm going to take Chipotle. I fucking resent that. That's a shot across the barretem. It is. Kid me. No garbage Taco Bell in this corporation. You got good quality burgers, good quality Chipotle.

By the time my corporation's done, you're going to be asking yourself, is that really fast food? By the time your corporation is done, everybody in the world will have E. coli. That's fine. You just got, he kind of just like stood in your face and like took a pee on you. I did. Yeah, well, I mean, it is what it is. I'm annoyed at the McDonald's pick. I'm annoyed at your just.

justification for it. You didn't even mention. Just go ahead and take Quiznos so that you can be the worst as usual. Is that still a place? You didn't even mention the fact that McDonald's is more of a real estate business than even a fast food place. I like making money in my corp. It makes sense.

Anyways, if you liked my addition to Pat's pick, vote for me. My next pick will be, this is a classic breakfast staple that only recently expanded to take over all of the donut shops. in California and everywhere around the world. It is one of the biggest restaurants in the world, and they're clearly growing Dunkin' Donuts, baby. They have delicious coffee, and I've been going there since I was a child

because it originated in the Midwest or near there where I'm from. They never had it here until recently, because like taxis, donut shops had a stronghold on the donut industry. And now Duncan Donuts has been allowed to come in and just destroy the little guy. And we're all about profits in this battle royal. Duncan Donuts is soon to be one of the biggest food conglomerates in the world.

That's my prediction. Quick aside, when they decided to expand out to the West Coast, where I grew up in Oswego, New York, it's just you go to Dunkin' Donuts. It's a thing you do. You go sit there and do nothing. You just go sit there and have a coffee or a fucking English muffin. Bagel, donut. Yeah, so they were expanding to California starting their franchise program.

and I was like, I should look into this. The start cost was $2 million. No way. The startup franchise buy-ins, two-mill for a single location. It was whatever, five years ago or whenever they came out here. So I was like, oh, that's different than what I thought. Yeah. You're like, it's weird.

I had this $48 just burning this hole in my pocket. I was like, I got $10, right? Yeah. All right. Okay. Nice. Round it out, baby. Round out your franchise.

Yep. Okay. I'm going to round it out. I'm, I'm, I'm, there's been some controversy about this one in the news lately. I think they're actually getting sued. And I'll just say it's subway. And I love their business model. They, they have, um, it's very vanilla of you. Well, Pat, Pat obviously is too rich to enjoy a good subway fake tuna sandwich.

But I, he's looking at. He looks ill. He looks ill. His head is suspiciously just as round as the microphone. It's so gross. So I will own a subway. They gross. Just a singular.

They are gross. They gross. They gross over 10 billion a year. They're one of the top restaurants. And I have the added benefit. They have lots of things in the restaurants. So maybe I don't want a sandwich. Maybe I just want some lettuce or some spinach.

that day. I can have as much spinach, maybe red onions as I want. By the way, avocado's extra, so you know they're making bank. I pick Subway as my third and final pick. Okay. Reprehensible. Taco Bell, Taco Bell, Dunkin' Donuts, and Subway. That's it. That's it. All right.

All right. So I've got in and out. I've got Chipotle. Two very high-quality gourmet items in the fast food world. It just don't make that much. You might think I would stick in that realm, but I'm not. I'm going to surprise everybody with my third and final pick. A pick that nobody was even remotely considering. No, yeah, that's worse. That'd be amazing.

That would be amazing. A pick that no one was even remotely considering. Arguably the only food equally is gross as long John Silver's. But it's something, and just think about this for a second. Have you ever in your life, been to an airport eatery that has not had a Panda Express.

I have never experienced that. No. No. There's no such thing. There's no such thing. There's no such thing. There's no such thing. Every single airport has a Panda Express.

I don't know why. I don't know. I don't understand it, but I do know this. Panda Express is in bed with big airline travel. There's no question in my mind. They have to be. Which is not currently a lucrative industry, but overall a very lucrative industry.

It's going up. So while their Kung Pal chicken will undeniably give you diarrhea, Panda Express is my third and final choice because I believe in that airport business model. Well,

that's a terrible pick. I don't even think they gross one million a year. Pat, what's your... Forrest loves airports, though. He wants to be in. I get it. They got airport connects.

Okay. All right. No pun. Shit. Well, I wasn't going to take Panda Express, but I'm really, really torn between two here. Oh, fuck. This is really hard. Okay.

I know what I'm going to do. Okay. I'm going to round it out. I've already got McDonald's. So I'm making just the behemeter. Fuckloads of money, mate. Domino's the number one fast food franchise in India, which has the quickest growing population. Thanks to their mobile ordering app, the young people in India love Domino's.

So I've already won. But here's the thing. Hey, Forrest, we've traveled all over Asia together. Do you remember when we were in Asia how every single, we talked about how every single street corner had one of these? Yes, I know exactly what you're going to say. It is called, and Peter thinks they have the best pizza in the world. They also have taquitos.

I don't know if this is cheating, but I'm going to take 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven. Yeah, it's an obvious choice when you said every street corner in Asia. Wait, what are the rules again? No, but here's the thing, Bert. You're very confused because you've never left the greater Los Angeles area. In the rest of the world, 7-Eleven is a fast food restaurant. It's also a place that you can buy diapers and get an enema and pick up all.

I mean, it's a mess. It is a goddamn mess. But it is also a fast food joint in all of Asia. We bought Xanax at a 7-Eleven in Santa Cruz Island and the Galapagos. I mean, who doesn't want to own this franchise? I got to contest this. Listen, it's not a fast food restaurants. I would, because I was going to pick Starbucks, and I declined to pick it,

even though it's one of the biggest moneymakers aside from McDonald's, because I didn't want to cause controversy. But you know what? You be you, Pat. You do you. I'll allow it. Let the Browsner's weigh in. Listen, if you're listening to this podcast for the first time or the last time,

it doesn't really matter. Either way, you need to give us a review. I don't let it be the last time. But let us know, who won? Was it? My incredible combination of in-and-out burger, the best burger, Chipotle, obviously better Mexican than Taco Bell, or Diary of Food Panda Express from every airport in the country.

Is it Peter's combo of Taco Bell, which yuck? Dunkin' Donuts, very smart. And actually, I'll agree with Peter on this subway, also very smart, because they are all over the place. I ate a subway almost every day when I was in Malaysia and felt very ill from all of the Malaysian food for two weeks straight. Or, you know, maybe pop a vote for Papa Pill, Popper Patrick. Patrick. I'll try to do a lot of peace.

Pop a peepee. The broducer, Patrick, who got Dominoes because he says it's good pizza now. Mickey Dees, it's a giant. And 7-Eleven, which, well, technically not a fast food chain here in the United States. is somewhat of a fast food chain everywhere else. So yeah, you know, let us know. Let us know. And let us know on the YouTube video,

which will be at the wild timespodcast.com forward slash YouTube. Let us know on iTunes or wherever the hell you want to listen to the podcast. Go check it out. Thewildetimespodcast.com. The wild timespodcast.com forward slash info. We'll get you to all the links to everything that we have and do, including listen on Spotify. You can listen on Apple.

You can listen on Podbean. You can watch on YouTube, which is what you should do. Instagram, merchandise. We got a Discord. I mean, it's a brumunity out here, ladies and gentlemen, and it is a good time. You want to check it out. One more time, retap.

What's that link tree? That link is the Wild Times Podcast.com forward slash info. That'll get you to everything we have to offer at this particular moment. Thanks for joining. Pop yourself a white claw and good night.