Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #48 - Forrest & Friends go Sailing

Episode Date: March 8, 2021

Papa P. is off on an adventure so the gents bring on long time friend of Forrest, Adam Schewitz. Adam rehabbed a sail boat and spent 3 years traveling the seas in it! Forrest went on some adventures with him and they boys are eager to discuss. All that along with Fact or Fiction and a Battle Royale you don't want to miss!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Wild Times podcast, the greatest show on the air, period, end of sentence. This is episode 48. We have been doing this for 48 gosh darn weeks in a row. It's kind of crazy if you think about it. We're nearly at a year. That's nuts, Retepp. Crazy. I am joined tonight.

I am your host, the broologist, Mr. Forrest Galante, the one and only tumble in the jungle, the king of the vine swing, if you will. the guy that likes to ride the motion of the ocean. And I'm joined tonight by the ever-stunning, the supermodel-like human being, Mr. Retepp. What's up, Peter? Oh, me first.

Wow. Yeah. Thought that was heading my way. It's a little hurt now. Me too. I mean, it's crazy. He's normally calling me. New guy.

I said joined as big. Oh, well, all right. Nope. Defending champion. Retip, how are you? I'm doing. I'm doing good. I'm doing good.

I'm pretty excited. Just want to point out that now, in those 48 weeks of shows that we've done, I'm the only one who has not missed an episode. It's true. Boo-ya. Boom. Speaking of missing episodes, if you are tuning in for the very first time, you would know, or you wouldn't know, rather,

that we are usually joined by the one and only broducer, Mr. Papa Pee, Papa P. I don't even know all the Pee illiterations anymore. Patrick DeLuca, Papa Pee-P, who is not here today. he is out on a very important shoot. I was told he's doing a Durex commercial, and he is actually the model himself. Whether that's true or not is all hearsay, I'm just passing on the information I was given.

But instead, we are joined by an incredibly special guest, a man that definitely needs an introduction, because none of you know who he is. The one and only, one of my very best friends, I was the best man in his wedding. We've been to, like, Jesus, I don't know, 10 plus countries together. We've known each other.

He's one of my oldest friends. My good buddy, Adam Shavits. What's up, Adam? Good, man. How are you? Pretty great. Pretty great. Yeah, thanks for it, man. Can I sing your praises for a second? Can I tell the Brosner's your life story?

No, I don't think we're really here to talk. Okay. Well, so Adam grew up on the wrong sides of the track of Chicago. It was very difficult for him. He had a rough, oh, Reteb, you don't know. know this. Adam actually is from Chicago. You guys are both from that hell hall. I saw because of the area code. So I was like, I was going to mention it. But then I was like, I'll just talk about it on a podcast. All right. You're ruining my bit though. You're ruining my bit. Well, he grew up on the wrong sides of the

track. Is there two wrong sides? Sorry. You just be quiet. Let me do my bit. So, as I was saying, Adam grew up on the wrong side of the tracks of Chicago. Him and his lover had a very rough start from an early childhood. However, he's still with that fine gentleman. And when I I met them on the streets of West Hollywood. I decided to take them under my wing and help both of them, very fine lads, see and experience the world. And unfortunately, Ricardo, who's a friend of the pod, is not able to join us tonight. But Adam's lover is not here this evening. Just Adam.

None of that's true. I made all of that up. Adams is just our other friend. I'm just saying nonsense. I've had too much to drink. This was your intro that you didn't want to interrupt us? Yes, it's very important. All jokes aside, I do want to introduce who Adam is.

Adam is one of my best friends. Adam has done some incredibly interesting stuff. He's a seaplane pilot who flies all over the world about, Jesus, what was that? Adam, four years ago, five years ago when you bought Heritage? Yeah, just over five years ago. Five years ago, Adam, on a whim, kind of sold everything to his name and bought a sailboat that was, tell us about Heritage, Adam. Heritage was built back in South Africa in the 1980s based off the original cruiser, this boat called the spray. Pretty much just this home-built operation that was a bit dilapidated, to say the least, when I bought it.

But fixed it up, got everything running, and I mean, you were finishing the story there. I'll let you take it from there. Yeah, so Adam bought on a whim. He bought a boat homemade in the 80s in South Africa, moved on to it with his lovely fiance at the time, and spent just about three years sailing around the world, accumulating all kinds of stories, and I was very fortunate to get to join him a couple times on that trip and had an absolute blast. And I thought that, you know, tonight, in addition to all the regular shenanigans, we'd hear a little bit from an ocean adventure like Adam. Yeah, you got it.

It was Heckford Adventure, the boat. Same was the spray. It's Joshua Slocum, the first guy to ever sail around the world solo, the first one that decided, you know what, I've had enough with civilization buying a boat, I'm going. This boat's model. exactly after his. So it's classic through and through. And we'll get to some adventures. I remember when you bought Heritage, you had never sailed a day in your life. Like maybe dicked around on those little tiny, you know, like off the beach sailboat things. But you literally never sailed a day in your life. And you just bought this boat. And you're like, I'm going to, I remember you telling me this over the phone. You're like, I'm just going to

figure it out as I go. I'm going to learn to sail and travel around the world. And I was like, dude, you're nuts. What was that like? I pretty much, you see the spots first. You know, flying the sea planes, I got to go to these far out islands in the Bahamas or spots in the middle of nowhere. And I'd like to be here. And even through our adventure spearfish, we'd get to these wild spots, but we could never stay. So I needed a home that would go there.

So, yeah, I bought a book first. So to be fair, I knew a thing or two. Did you read the book? I read most of the book. I read most of the book. It was a picture book, right? Okay. Were you scared?

Were you scared when you first went? Were you nervous? When I first bought it, you're just excited. But then as soon as you actually buy it, you're super nervous. I had to outfit a bunch and all of a sudden found I had to do a bunch of maintenance. I had no idea how to do. So got my butt kicked for quite a few months just trying to get this thing up in ocean ready. But felt pretty confident about it.

And actually the very first night we set off is my wife and I, not named Ricardo. Alissa You're Lover No Ricardo's the lover That's my wife He's the DL lover Not so DL

She's literally Reading sailing 101 As we go along I kind of had Taking the boat out a couple of it A little bit more confident And I have a great sale

We've got all the sales up From like seven to like midnight You got a trade off shift Because in case something comes in So she takes over for her To be clear, this is the first time sailing. Sorry, just to be clear, this is your first time sailing. So you, like, read a book, maybe looked at YouTube, and you're like, all right, I'm going to pull this rope, and then the sail's going to go up.

And then, you know, I'm not really sure what comes next, but that's where I'm going to start. So this is literally your first sale. Like, the book that I read said, like, you know, you probably can travel the whole world and you won't run into that many storms. Like, it's very rare occurrence. It says, so we're feeling pretty confident, having a great night. Like, have a couple of years. Sunday goes down. Life is good.

hand the reins off to my wife. She won't let me go too far, so I'm just sleeping on the couch down below. And she wants to impress though, too. So we were going, our boat's really slow. It may seem fast to us what we were talking about, but it's really slow. We're only going about five knots,

and we were pretty happy with that. Probably a good thing at this point. Yeah, no, slow and steady. Anyways, my wife wanted to impress me, and all of a sudden the wind picks up, and it's starting to go six knots, the boat, and then seven knots. and all of a sudden the boat's going to eight knots,

and she's like, ah, it's going to be so great. Adam's going to be so impressed. And literally just then, you know, as any sailor at all would know, if it picks up, you know, your boat's moving three knots faster and a short amount of time, there's something coming to you. So our very first night, very first sail, literally get nailed by Squall with 40-50-not winds, knocks our boat over.

Wow. And I wake up from going asleep to the perfect dream, beautiful sunset, had a couple of beers, sailing away, sold our possessions, super happy to literally just the perfect storm. I had my wife feeling my name. I bolt up from the couch. I come up and there's so much water pouring in to the sailboat as I come up the hatchway that I literally get knocked back down.

And yeah. How far off the coast are you at this point? We left like super early in the morning, so we're a good 40 miles out there. So, so. Oh, my God. This is the first sale. This is the first time you've ever taken the boat out. Doing great.

We've got this. I read the book. Yeah, the boat's upside down now. Exactly. Everything's thrown. I literally get up to wheel and we got this old pirate-style wheel. Like I said, it's classic boat. So it's everything you'd picture in a sailing boat.

Wheel air, helm. And I'm holding on to it. Can't see a thing. Yung, I got it. I've no idea where we're even going. So I was nervous to answer your question. Yeah, so how'd you guys, how'd you guys end up making it out of that scenario? You just, you just battered down and got through it?

That was kind of planned at first. You know, 40-50-9 winds. We're getting put on our sides, but I try and just head downwind. I figure going with the wind, we'll have less hitting our sails, just tapy a little bit less force. So I start doing that. I can't even see our wind instruments because the rain's pouring in so much if I get my wife to put a light on it. My job. And finally, you know, starting to feel like again this.

We're doing, you know, 14, 15 knots, not with the sailboat. It's not designed to go above 8. Like, 8's doing great. Three times. Three times the speed you were going. Yeah, just crashing in these ways. And it's a lot of force on this wheel. I'm just holding this thing, you know.

But I finally think I feel like I got it. Like, let's just let this first take go and we'll be all right. Just then the steering wheel just goes loose in my hand. Just steering brakes. whole steering gulms just does that i'm spinning this thing my you know hands not not responding anything um so um at this point i can only uh you know from here and out i can only describe it as heritage taking care of a very dumb sailor at this point uh that seems like a terrible happening to have your steering brake in the middle of storm but the boat actually completely took care of us it had a lot

of, wow. Yeah, it had a lot of pressure on the helm that actually wanted to turn it into the wind,

which was the right thing to do. It turned it completely into the wind. So you were doing the complete opposite. You were doing the wrong. I wasn't terribly wrong,

but I sure wasn't right. Let me tell you something about Adam real quick. Let me dog leg this just for one second. Adam has literally, it's incredible, actually.

It's phenomenal. Adam has literally never been wrong about anything. I've known him for a long time. It's amazing, dude. He'll, He'll drive the boat the wrong direction in the storm, and somehow he still wasn't wrong.

Like, read any sailing book, and it'll tell you that's the wrong thing to do. But, you know, he wasn't wrong. Well, I'm here, so just so you know. To be fair. I know people like that. One of them's normally on this podcast, but he's not here. Very true. Very true.

Forrest is here. So, yeah, so tell us how you got out of it, Adam. So, yeah, so the steering column breaks. You know, you're now, you're now, yeah, what the fuck? Then what? The boat swings into the wind And as any intro sailor would know You know, obviously not me yet

Just starting, but any intro sailor would know You turn into the wind to drop your sails So as soon as the boat turns into the wind These sails get all the pressure take off them But they're flapping like Zeus himself is flapping these sails It's so loud, just thunderous But that's my chance That tells me, you know

That was kind of a slap in the face This is what you need to do dummy, get your sails down And so with them flapping like crazy. I start frolling in the force sill and the stay sale. Those are the two forward sails. That works out moderately well. They're mostly in. And then I got to go up on deck and get the main sail down. I don't really recall my details there, but I remember getting hit by ropes a lot because things were

just flying each way. And then eventually it was down. And then the only sail that was up was our mizzen mast. And miraculously, the boat further took care of us by doing what's called heaving two. In any really big storm, what you should do for a sailboat tactic is you turn into the wind and you balance your sails so that as soon as you start falling off the wind, the sails pick up and they turn you back into it, but they don't have enough power to go all the way through. They just stop right here and they get pushed back again. And then they sail again.

And it actually provides this like really gentle ride in what can be massive seas. That's how you can survive a hurricane as you can do this. Wow. And the boat did it for us. Usually you need to have two sails up. You need to have your ferry forward. Jib up and your mizzen, but this boat heritage. Stop saying made up words.

Just tell the story. None of us know these words that you're saying. These are made up words. And then I did the jigger rolls when everything worked out just fine. The boat took care of me. And we had a chance to say. Back of the boat. So let me ask you a question.

What's your wife doing during all this? I just want to explain one thing before Adam discusses this. I've known Adam and his, you know, his wife a long time and I love them both to death. Adam's wife is like the super sweet girl from like the upper, you know, like the best neighborhood in the Midwest, meaning zero experience in like the ocean and storms. And Adam, you think I have no amygdala. Wait until you hear a few more Adam stories. But Adam is just like, come on, sweetie.

it'll be great. Like, we'll go on this trip. And by the way, at this time, this was not Adam's wife. This was just Adam's girlfriend. They weren't even engaged yet, right, Adam? You got to put them to the test. And, you know, that was important for a step. And Adam's like, come with. It'll be so much fun. Let's learn to sail. I mean, Benicolada sailed. She loved a beach. So, um, fucking drives her into a storm night one, this girl from the mid-wise. She's like, never even seen the ocean before. And he's like, nah, you'll be fine. To be fair, before I bought the sailboat, I did ask if she liked sailing. and though she'd never been, she thought she did.

Yeah, smart. The boat takes care of us. You know, we're able to, after about three hours, fix up the steering, it's the middle of the night, you know, 5 a.m., 3, you know, whatever it is by the time. And, you know, I look at Alyssa and ask if she wants to keep going, and she's like, well, we don't really have much choice. And I'm like, all right, let's keep going.

We're now 90 miles offshore. No, we were probably, like, those 40 miles, we kind of got closer to, like, San Jose, Puerto Rico, we just left from the Virgin Islands. We could have maybe done, like, you know, by sundown, we could have been in Puerto Rico. But she didn't know that. And I thought she did when I, you know, asked her that question. And she's like, now let's keep going to where we're heading, which was Turks and Caicos.

I was just really impressed with her. I had no idea that she just didn't know that we could just end that today. Nice. But, you know, I thought she was being brave and it worked out. We picked ourselves up off the floor. Remember to turn the radar on for the next night. And we got better from there. So Adam's got a ton of stories.

And Peter, I'm going to bring up a few just for when, you know, the short stints I was along for the ride. And we can talk about the boat and his sailing. But I figure before we get into any more of his stories, first of all, it's important for you and the brosters to know the reason Adam and I are so close. And I'm not exaggerating when I say this is we have saved each other's lives a couple different times. and Adam can tell you those stories. We can get into it. But if you, the reason that we've been in a situation where we've had to save each other's lives a couple times

is because you know when you're like 16 and you're like with your buddy, and your buddy's like, hey dude, I bet you can't jump over that. And you're like, dude, I can jump over that and something else. He's like, yeah, we'll prove it. And he's like, okay, I'll jump over it. And then you jump and you wipe out and you like cry and everybody's a... That's Adam and I except we're adults.

Like he has less amygdala than I do, if that's even a possibility. And we just rev each other up all the time. We have been at each other's throats. I'm not kidding. We've come to blows a couple different times. We've traveled all over the world together. And it's fine. Like we hash it out and then we're good the next day.

But we, I mean, we've had some freaking awesome crazy experiences. And I can tell you straight up, I have pulled his lifeless body up from the ocean. And he has kept things from eating me. So it's a good friendship as long as you get over the hump. of having to hang out with each other. That was a really nice way to put that, you know, kept things for meeting me when correctly you meant to say that you used me as a human shield. Human shield, that's correct.

Well, you had a speargun in fairness. It's pretty much, we've heard that story from several of his cameraman. I mean, it's a typical scenario with Forrest. It's my MO, you know, like, Operation Get Behind the Friend. That's how we play it. One time he threw cameraman Mitch right in front of a giant rhinoceros. I did not throw him in front of a rhinoceros. He told the story.

He was just standing in the wrong spot. That makes me feel pretty fortunate. Mine was just a hammerhead shark. There was no throwing involved. And yes, ours was a hammerhead shark. He threw you in front of a hammerhead shark? I wanted to get into a tangent and do in the news. But now let's just dig right into why I'm an asshole.

Really? We got a lot. All right. I thought we'd get a little. All right. Well, just to give you some credibility here as the standing burrologist and a world-renowned biologist, we were out of the Channel Islands in California on seasonably warm water, and this amazing hammerhead shark comes up to our boat.

You know, right after we just speared a bunch of fish and put a bunch of blood in the water, sharks, blood, you know, they might be excited. And this shark was not just on like a gentle swim through to check us out. It was revving around our boat. I mean, literally three or four just circling. Legit circling. Wow. And I don't know if you notice about force, but he has a bit of ego.

Oh, yeah. It's hard to notice. A lot of the listeners may not know this. I'm sorry to shock a lot of people. No amygdala giant evil. Exactly. And he knows everything, especially about, you know, any animal facts, like a hammerhead shark. And he knows that they never attack humans.

Well, I just want to point out that the reason we were getting in the water before Adam continues to tell you what an asshole was. am, is the fact that hammerheads are not typically seen in California waters. So this was a very special occurrence. And this wasn't like, oh, there's one in San Diego near the border of Mexico. This was like 250 miles north of where they're supposed to be. So this was super exciting. So we're out there spearfishing, Adam and I and Ricardo, who's a friend of the pod, and Jordan, who's a friend of the pod. We're all on the boat together. We're cleaning our days catch, thrown in the guts and blood from the yellow tail off the boat. And sure enough, a hammerhead shark shows up. So I start freaking out. I'm like, guys, you know how incredible this is? Like to have a hammerhead

in California, we got to get in the water with it. Like, this is so cool. And take it from there, Adam. I mean, truly wild, it was amazing. I 100% agreed with you. Up to the point where you said they are harmless and this one won't attack. Typically, I use the word typically. I'm not going to give you that qualify. I probably didn't say that. But then when you point out to someone how, you know, to Forrest how he's probably not right, he just just doubles down. And so he jumped immediately into the water. And he said, come on, guys. Let's just jump right in. That's true. Yeah, that is what I do. The hammerhead was amazing. I had to get in. I wanted to see it. But I am not an idiot. So I grabbed a spear gun first. Debatable.

I wasn't an idiot this time. So I grabbed a speargun. But only after he was an idiot first. Yeah, I follow the leader there. A little lemmings, you know, over the cliff. And you did have, one of us had a GoPro. I can't remember who was you or me. We both had a GoPro. Mine got knocked down. I think in the scramble for you to get behind me, you knocked it down a little bit. So it was out of view. That's not okay. Oh my God. All right. Keep going. Immediately when we get in the water. I mean, immediately, and I was right behind for us. This thing just turns and charges us. Straight up. Oh, God. Straight up. Yeah. And yeah, brilliant biologist here that knew that the hammerhead was

really docile. I'm not going to attack us. Immediately. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Make them maneuver. To get behind me, you know, knocking my GoPro down. Which was also attached to my mask, like letting water in properly. The story has changed. Well, hammerheads aren't they one of the most aggressive sharks? No, this was a smoothed hammerhead. They are usually more dousal.

They're going to use their sensors to, you know, not eat you. They're usually not just fired up in territorial. But this one obvious body language. Go ahead for us if you want. Here's what happened in my. Well, so hold on. So this hammerhead is behind him, ready to eat him. Let me explain one thing.

Let me explain one thing that Adam failed to mention. And I'm doing this as a self-depriating comment. Adam, we're on the back of the boat. And Adam goes, I think we should take a spear gun. And I'm like, and this is where I said, don't be, you know, don't be a bitch. Hammerheads aren't dangerous. You don't need a spear gun. So that's when Adam was like, you know, Forest, he just doubles down and does what he likes.

That was when I just jumped in the water when I was like, eh, fine. you, Adam, you know, I don't need a spear gun. Jumped in the water. Adam literally just reached over and grabbed the unloaded spear gun and popped in behind me and thank God that he did. Right. Because as he said, the second we hit the water, the shark just turned and charged. Now here's the other part of the story, Peter.

During all of this time, the boat was not at anchor. It was just drifting. So as we hopped in the water, the wind was pushing one way and the current was pushing the other. So the shark charges at me. and I like grab Adam who's got the spear gun and this is true I did kind of hide behind him and he kind of turns the spear gun to hold to hold it out between us

and I like grab at him and I'm like we got to get back to the boat and we look up and the boat's like 150 yards away already so it's not like we're right beside the boat able to crawl back in and then football field and a half swim away so I start yelling to

Rick or Jordan I can't remember and I'm like guys bring the boat bring the boat Too busy laughing, by the way. And they were laughing their asses off. They thought this was super funny. So now we're literally in a situation. Oh, God, Will found the video. You're the worst.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We'll zoom it. Like, skip in like a minute or two to when we're in the water. And we're literally in this situation where, um, we're, Adam's the only one with a spear gun. And this is from our gopros. Adam's the only one with spear gun.

See this hammerhead. He's fired up. And Adam, we're nobody shooting it. Nobody's trying to hurt it. He's just holding the spear gun. between us and I am cowering in fear behind Adam because this thing is straight up charging us trying to eat us. Like look, that's Adam right there with the spear gun. And he's literally, you can see, he tags the hammerhead like five times because it keeps coming in trying to bite us.

And Adam, you know, you can see it guns aren't even loaded. Adam's just holding it out to keep the shark away from us. And the thing is the shark's circling the way sharks do. So all this motion that you're seeing is in a circle. And I have to stay behind Adam's best. back in the circular motion in the water while we do this dance for like, I don't know how long his video is three and a half minutes while the guys get done laughing and then bring the boat over and dude it was, look guys me that's my human shield. You see that as Human Shield Adam. Dude, this is insane footage right here. I mean, is the audio, are you just screaming like a little girl? Wait, we'll let the audio run once we get back on the boat because we get back on the boat

And like, there's this moment of us both being in shock and then just hysterical laughter because we thought we were so funny for making it through this very, very dumb situation. Oh, yeah, right. Wow. That is some crazy. This is a hell out of the part of the side. They was trying to fucking eat up. That was not the far side of it was ever, man.

That they were trying to fucking eat up. I mean, the whole time. Oh, look, there's his GoPro. The one knocked into the other. and fucking liar. Oh my God. Forest is like high on fucking adrenaline right now. There's Jordan and Ricardo's driving the boat.

Oh my God. And this is the Channel Islands? This was, yeah, right out here. Thanks, Will. Right out the Santa Barbara Channel Islands. And yeah, I mean, that's one of a handful of times where we've done stupid shit like that. And it's pretty fun, man.

Adam's a good friend. He's an even better human shield. I mean, thank God he had the wherewithal to grab the speargun, because one of us definitely would have got nipped otherwise. No question. There wasn't a chance. Yeah. There wasn't a chance. At least you didn't try and peer pressure me to get in there without it. Well, speaking of interesting, crazy things in the ocean, I've got a little what's in the news for you. What kind of desk you got today? Coming across my beautiful leather bound desk, I had something very interesting. Actually, my good buddy Joe Rogan texted me this, and he's like, dude, have you seen this? And he sent me this link to this incredible thing that shows the cuttlefish can actually pass a test that is designed for human intelligence.

And this test is unbelievable. So it's a well-known test. It's a famous psychological test called the marshmallow test, which is, and the way that you, The reason it's called the marshmallow test is what they would do is they would offer kids the opportunity to eat a meal. But if they decided to forego that meal, they'd get a marshmallow. So what that showed was foresight, right? The ability to express self-control and have a little foresight when it comes to their choices. And very, very interestingly, I'm trying to find the quote.

There was a guy who wrote about this. And he wrote, it was the scientist behind the study, said self-control. is thought to be the cornerstone of intelligence, as it is an important prerequisite for complex decision making and planning for the future. Think about this, Retap. You're obsessed with cuttlefish. You're obsessed with octopus, right? You think they're all aliens. Okay. This animal was offered its regular meal. This is just a little cephalopod that lives in the ocean that makes its entire life just, you know, just jet squirting around the ocean. It's offered a meal, and then it's offered a tasty treat. And then after a period of time, it was offered the meal and not the tasty treat

and then vice versa. And on its own accord, this creature figured out, if I pass on the meal, I get my tasty treat. That is fucking mind-blowing. Dude, gorillas don't do that. Chimpanzees don't do that. Many humans don't do that. Yeah, you couldn't do that. Reteb, if I was like, hey, Reteb, here's a bag of Taco Bell. You can eat this now, but if you eat this now, no mountain do Baja blast for you afterwards, you'd still eat you to Taco Bell. Yeah. Yeah.

But this is incredible, guys. Like this is, I mean, Rogan was going nuts over it. I think it's absolutely fascinating. To show self-control like that, to show forethought, I mean, it's, like the scientist said, it's the cornerstone of intelligence. I think it's absolutely mind-blowing. Yeah. I actually read this book one time, and it was called, I forget it.

it's called, but anyways, I'll remember it in a second. But the, uh, the main point of the author was that, uh, you know, discipline is essentially one of humans' superpowers that allows them to, that allows us to accomplish incredible things like building cities and, right. And just, just all of these things that we do wouldn't be possible without discipline. And he also says perseverance. But I mean, it's true, too, because I mean, I, I, always feel like shit when I'm just like a fat slub. I want to get drunk tonight or oh, I don't

want to work out. You need that discipline to accomplish great things. And my friend, these cephalopods are on route to take over the world and accomplish great things. Adam, you've sailed all around the world. You've seen most ocean creatures, probably even more ocean creatures than I have. I imagine you've speared a couple cuttlefish to eat. Your thoughts on their intelligence. That's, it's just bonkers. I've never seen a moment's hesitation. You just, you know, every movement of theirs you would describe as instinct. And to hear that they have that thought process is, it's, it's boggling. I think, I think that my dog is really smart, right? My dog, when I tell my dog to sit, he sits. When I tell him to, like, go to the next room, he goes the next room. When I say, go to mom for dinner,

he goes to mom for dinner. I think my dog is really smart. In zero situation, could I offer my dog dinner with the idea that he'd get like a bacon treat afterwards if he didn't eat it. There's absolutely, like I said, I think my dog's really smart. There is no way, there is no situation in which my dog turns down dinner because he thinks he's getting the bacon after. That's a dog. That's a mammal. That's an animal that is co-evolved with human beings for millions of years and he can't

figure it out. Gorillas and chimpanzee, animals that speak sign language cannot figure this out. But this funky little cephalopod with its eight little legs, it shoots its jet water, an ink, it can figure this out. Yeah. I mean, so what do they think this part of the brain equates to? So obviously this is a certain part of a brain, you know, whatever, whether it's a cephalopod, a human being. This is definitely something that is basically the opposite of what instinct would tell you. I mean, instinct is going to tell pretty much every animal. There's food, eat it, you might die,

pretty much. But it's like there's this, there's got to be some kind of, this higher intelligence where you can, where you learn that if you wait, the results are going to be better. Yeah. So that's a mental evolutionary trait, right? So we've evolved as human beings as an advanced intellectual species to figure something out that if we are willing to not satiate ourselves now, we can have more later, right? I do it legit all the time where I'm like, no, I'm not going to eat the extra slice of

fucking steak at dinner because I want to have some ice cream, right? I think we all do that all the time, right? Like anybody who's even remotely health conscious does that. But why cuttlefish have evolved the ability to exert self-control, even after this study, is still a mystery? Like, why? It doesn't make any sense. Like, not only from an evolutionary standpoint,

it doesn't make any sense from a survival standpoint or a wildlife standpoint. Like, if you're a fucking squid, eat the thing in front of you before something else eats you right now. Like, the fact that they've evolved this thing where they can be like, no, no, no, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, not for me, I'm going to wait and have sardines later. Like, that's insane. It is. It's mind bog. I just got to bring something like, you know, if it was danger, I could understand that. Like, if it knew that if it went for this, it was, you know, a dangerous situation, that would

evolve along. But what would teach it this patience that it would need to wait for, you know, more food to accumulate? Like, I just don't understand where this came in, like you were saying, on the evolutionary train. It's incredible. I mean, I think there is so much that we do. not understand about cephalopods. I think there's so much we don't understand about all animals. It seems like now, I'm going to say because of the wild times, but it seems like now more than ever, we're starting to really appreciate and begin to dig into octopus and squid intelligence. And like, this is a new thing. Like, this was not a hot topic in science 10 years ago. Like, it's a hot topic now. And it's pretty cool because we're learning things that are just

mind blowing like this. Yeah, they're one of the most, I mean, incredible animals out there. They do incredible things. The fact that they can change their color and the texture of their skin to blend in and essentially look and feel like rocks. You saw the one, there's that famous video where it protects itself with a shell and uses it as armor and it walks with its tentacles along the bottom of the ocean. I was watching that one the other day.

And I'm just like, this is insane. These animals, and yet we just eat the fuck out of them. And the other crazy part is that cephalopods, they only will, octopus only live for what, three years? Different species, but yes, short lifespans, yeah. But it's wild to think. So this must be some kind of, the cephalopod they're talking about it. Is it an octopus or do we know?

Cuddlefish. It's like a squid. It's a cuttlefish. So how long does it cuttlefish? live for? I don't know. Probably about the same. Probably two or three years. Same? Yeah. So in three years, though, to learn this ability or it's not instinctual, like to have been able to evolve to learn this in the wild, by the way, where like maybe there's something that happens where they get more food, like you said, Adam, if they wait.

But I mean, it's wild to think that they evolve this ability that in three years, in their short tiny lifespan, you know, where we have to learn this, we probably learn this. I don't know, do babies learn this? They probably do it by 10, 11, 12 years old or something. Did you know? We both have babies now. They don't do this. Did you know, Peter, that I had an octopus in college. Did I ever tell you this? No, of course not. So this aquarium that's sitting right here. See this aquarium right here? I got that in college because I was out tide pooling with some buddies one day and I flipped over rock and I found this little Pacific two-spot octopus. And I'm probably incriminating myself because you're probably not supposed to do this.

But I was like, oh, that's so rad, a two-spot octopus. Like, this is so cool. I want to do something with it. So I took it home, like, threw it in like a little aquarium. And I was like, oh, this isn't, you know, being a biologist even then, I was like, this is no good. Like, this animal will not do well. So I went and got picked up this aquarium, put it in the corner of my parents' house, of course, and went down to the ocean like 10 times with buckets and filled up this aquarium.

aquarium and then built this awesome little thing that the octopus would live in. And his name was Leonidas because it was right when the movie 300 came out. And Leonidas was badass, dude. He used to hang out in that aquarium. You could come and tap on the lid and he'd come shooting up and wait with his tentacles for you to drop something in. We'd feed him like pet store goldfish, which I'm sure is not the right thing, given that they're a freshwater fish, plus squid and other stuff.

But he was awesome. And he was a destroyer. Like I would go out to the challenge. islands like with Adam or my other buddies and we'd like catch little little baby like opal eye or little snails and crabs and stuff and put them in there didn't matter what you put in there leonitis would rip it to shreds he was like this is my house don't fuck with it i will destroy um yeah yeah he lived he lived like three years we had him and then came in one day he was huge and he rolled over so you know he had a nice long life in my aquarium it was lots of fun yeah three years

that's about their lifespan Yeah, so speaking on interesting stuff that happens in the ocean, there was a piece of news that came across my desk that I like even more than this cuttlefish thing. I mean, this, it's like, it reinforces everything I say. So on Extincter Alive with Patrick, wherever we go, one of the things that I always harp on, I say it all the time, is animals change their behavior when they're under human pressure. Like, just because, you know, and a perfect example is like wolves or coyotes, but just because you think it's not there doesn't mean that the animal isn't smart enough to adapt and change its behavior. Well, sure enough, scientists in Cyprus have found a secret set of caves where the world's rarest seals, the European monk seal, have been breeding in these caves. And now this is a completely new behavior. So in other words, there's 700 of these seals left in the world, period.

Right, that's it. And they've figured out, since the time of the Romans, they've been persecuted, right? They've been hunted. They've been, their numbers have been driven down. And all of a sudden, these Mediterranean monk seals figured out, wow, check it out. I can go in these caves and have babies and nobody fucks with me. And this is exactly like, if we hadn't been able to see these seals for 20 or 30 or 40 years, that's where you would have found them. Hanging out in these caves in complete secrecy. I mean, I love this stuff, man. They found a dwarf crocodile in the Congo that was doing the same thing. They're bright orange in color because they've lost all the pigment from their skin, hidden underground living in caves. And I always say this. These animals are smart enough to change their behavior when they're under human pressure. And this is a perfect example of this out on display for the world to see. I love it.

Now for any seal that I've ever seen, they're just on the beach, right? That's their natural habitat. Yep, exactly. So they've adapted to this cave system where they don't even have. have, you know, their usual beaching area, maybe a, you know, rocky spot. Right. Well, exactly right, Adam. So usually a seal or sea lion is going to haul out on a nice sandy beach.

It's nice and comfy. It's in the sun. But if you think that, you know, since the time of the Romans, the Mediterranean monk seal have been persecuted, right? Maybe all it takes is one monk seal to swim into a cave and haul out and be like, ah, I'm not being chased by some dick with a spear, right? And like, hang out there. Then he goes and gets his buddy.

And he's like, hey, buddy, check it out. If we hang out here, zero dicks with spear. years. And before you know it, you have a whole population of these seals hanging out in the cave going, wow, this is so much better than over on the beach where I watched Abitha get stabbed in the face yesterday. So it's just amazing to show that these things can figure this out and completely change their behavior in order to avoid human beings. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting too, because it's one of, to talk about the thylosine for a moment, one of, one of Neil Water is when he released the pictures

that was talking on the radio about the thylacine photos he had said that he thinks that they exist and one of the main reasons is because they were hunted so much that the ones that did evolve,

the ones that exist now, are basically so evolved to avoid getting captured and being found that that's why they can't be found and why nobody has actual you know, like

good to HD photos and yada yada of them. So, I mean, animals definitely evolved to avoid humans because we're garbaj. I mean, that is a viable theory. Adam, can I ask you a question? When you, when you were sailing heritage through the Caribbean, did you ever see any seals at all? So, I was actually just thinking of this, because I flew sea planes as well, as you mentioned. I flew much the dry tortugas where there was the Caribbean monk seal. Exactly. That's what I was getting at. Yeah. Yeah. And you obviously knew what I saw as well. And the dried tortugas, when people first arrived, you couldn't move without hitting a seal. And so they needed food. They balked them on the head. People are garbage as you so well put in a tap.

Yes, indeed. Anyways, since then, they're an extinct species. But when I was going through the Caribbean, we did see, just off in the distance, I mean, you're going through the waves. You're staring at the ocean. for 24 hours on end when we're actually going from Kewa to Panama. And we saw, you know, what was, you know, at first thought was dolphins cresting out, but there was no dorsal fin there. So the only thing I could come up with was seals. Wow. No kidding.

That's about as good as a blurry picture of Sasquatch. But, you know, that's the moment I had. So, Reteb, will do me a favor? Pull up a picture of a Caribbean monk seal. Reteb, I think we might have talked about this on the pod before. I don't remember. One of the animals I targeted on Extincter Alive was a very close relative of these super smart seals that are breeding in caves called the Caribbean Monk Seal as opposed to the Mediterranean Monk Seal. Now, as Adam just said, they used to be super abundant.

They were widespread from the dry Tortugas all the way out to Puerto Rico, way up north. And this is an animal that I have thought, you know, I actually didn't know Adam's story of that, but I heard multiple other eyewitness accounts. and we did an Extincter Live episode on this. That's not a Caribbean monk seal, Will. That's like the cutest normal. I mean, can we just leave that up there, though? And yeah, so I conducted a full-scale expedition looking for these adorable monk seals,

and I heard multiple stories like Adams, and now I wish I had known, there you go, there's one, you know, they went extinct a while ago, I wish I had known that the Mediterranean Monk Seals had adapted to reproduce in caves because the Bahamas is infamous for its massive intricate networks of limestone caves. So that, I mean, if anything, this almost fuels my passion and desire even more to go look for these animals. Like Adam just said, yeah, I mean, well, that too. I want to drink of my tie and hang out on a beach, big deal. Yes. You know, I'm going to

help you out with that one. I'm willing to go searching. I'm willing to go searching. Yeah. Yeah. We'll find these fucking seals, man. I'm telling you. Let's go. Anyway, yeah, it's interesting. Seals are cool. I'd like to find that one. I sure would. It's definitely always interesting and a happy day when we hear about animals outsmarting humans, in my opinion. I love it. Something came across my desk that I found fascinating, and it's because it involves glow in the dark sharks. Did you hear about this? Absolutely. Adam, have you seen this? I have and just sailing along looking at that deep ocean.

This is the kind of stuff that you just imagine all day. Underneath you, yeah. Exactly. There has to be something out there and then I go on and tell them about it. No, yeah. I mean, so they found the largest bioluminescent animals on Earth. And so in a study published in the journal Frontiers in Marine Science, the scientists found that three species of deep sea shark are bioluminescent.

They glow in the dark. They produce a soft blue, green light with specialized cells in their skin. And one of them grows up to six feet. So a six-foot animal that glows in the dark exists in the ocean. It's awesome. I mean, Forrest, what is, what's the benefit? Yeah. So I actually, so this technology first came out about 15 years ago when a scientist right here in California started basically using what we would consider to be a black light, but technically it's a blue light.

to look at sharks, and he found that swell sharks, which are a smaller animal than this, glow under the blue light. Now, I use this technology in South Africa to look for a benthic shark species called a Natal Shai Shark. Unfortunately, we were unable to locate one of those animals, but we had an incredible bioluminescent dive where we were looking for it. And what I kept hoping is that we'd find one of these small ground sharks like this animal that would just pop like that and glow. And it's incredible to see, like, I've done this night dive in South Africa and a couple other times

now where you put out a blue light and you put on a yellow filter and all you see is the world in what looks like a rave basically, this crazy neon world. It's rad. But what the scientists that did that initial study on the swell shark, what my colleague Dave Ebert, who's the world's leading kind of lost shark guy, have told me, is that this is an adaption where animals, so what's the best way to explain it? These animals see the way that you're seeing them. So these small benthic ground sharks have specialized rods and cones in their eyes that allow them to see a blue light spectrum that the human eye cannot detect. What this means is they are able, and because many things in the ocean actually put off this crazy, you know, there's oranges and yellows and all

these crazy neon colors under blue light, these animals can look through that filter to find potential mates, to find potential prey, et cetera, et cetera. So it gives them a whole layer of vision that doesn't exist to the human or other predators' eyes that allows them to move around in a completely different world and see things in a different way. In other words, if you are this weird New Zealand deep water shark species and you live in, by the way, the deep ocean is a desert. Most people don't realize that, but it is a desert.

There's mostly nothing there. So if you live in this massive, vast deserts, yeah, where there is nothing else that stands out and you see like this, like this blue shark, and you're swimming along, all of a sudden out the corner of your eye, you see another blue shark swimming along. You two can get together, whereas otherwise you wouldn't see each other at all because you're just in this vast blackness that nothing can see through. So it's an adaptation to find each other as well as potential prey. Dude, that's crazy, crazy fucking. So for finding each other, obviously, that's obviously they can see each other with this.

Finding the prey, you're saying because they can detect these bioluminescent prey as opposed, like, so they can't, they can not only detect like a mate, they can also see other animals that put off this same type of color. At this stage, that is a theory. You know, the strongest theory is that they glow in the dark in order to see each other and attract each other and locate each other and reproduce. But having done the dives that I've done in what's called fluoro light, which is this blue light with a yellow filter put over your eyes, you can see that all kinds of things glow. Now, a small benthic shark like this, it'll eat crabs, it'll eat crustace, it'll eat little stingrays, things like that. And a lot of those things glow. So I believe, and a number of other scientists, including Dave Ebert and a few others, also believe that the reason they see in this world is because they'll see another blue shark and go, that's a mate.

They'll see a little neon orange-colored crab and go, that's food. They'll see a cave lined with neon green anemones and go, that's a hiding spot. So it's like they see a world that we don't even see and don't even understand. And they'll never see the bull shark that's a big predator or the small starfish that they're literally, you know, they can't eat, they can't do anything with. They don't even live in that mental space because it doesn't even exist in their eyes, which I think is a fascinating concept. So in this darkness, they're just seeing their prey or, you know, possibly not their predators in each other. Yeah, just social cues, just cues to behavioral cues, right? Whether it's prey or a mate or maybe some of the bigger predators do.

I mean, we haven't tested this flurro technology. We might find out that great white sharks do this. You know, I don't think anybody's ever run a blue light with a yellow filter on a great white shark. You know, we just don't know. It's very easy to do it with, you know, this guy's probably five feet long or whatever, like you said, that they pulled up from 10,000 feet, very easy to do it with him, little harder to do it with a 15-foot Great White Shark. So, you know, I think there's a lot.

Yeah. That we do a night dive with a great white shark. Anytime. With the blue light, yellow. But this time we switch around the rolls, and you get to be the human shield. Anytime. I'll take you up on that. Exclusively to be posted on the wild times.

But it is super interesting. It's super interesting to think about what you just. said where, right, they don't, they don't even, they're not even aware of these other predators and everything that that's around them because of the way that they sense the world, man. And not to get ethereal or anything, but that's, that's, I mean, that's, that's what it's like for us in the world. Like, we have all these, uh, all these perceptions. We can perceive light and all these things.

But what's going on in the ether, man? Maybe there's giant sharks floating around in the fourth dimension that we can't see too. That's, I'm just saying. Yeah. I feel, yeah. I don't agree with you. but I feel yeah. It could be there. I mean, maybe this is the first time on the podcast.

A little weirded out. But, yeah, go on. This is, this is an animal podcast, but I like to get into the, into the spooky science aspect of it sometimes. Adam, well, you were sailing around the world. I remember you telling me that you went somewhere and I don't want to butcher your story and they thought you were a spooky ghost. Can you tell us that story? I'm serious. I'm not making it up unless I'm not.

That was the guy coming from the fourth dimension. No, seriously, tell us the real story. That's a real story. This is why I bring this shit up. But I'm remembering this correctly, right? It's not quite fair to the people there, but I'll run with it. Yeah, go for it. We were in the, we just crossed the South Pacific,

and we made landfall in this island called Gambier, and then we were heading into the southern two motos, which are these chain of atolls, old volcanoes that were extinct, started to sink below the ocean as they sink. The coral actually grows up and forms these barrier reefs that eventually become the island, these deep blue lagoons in the middle.

And these islands, if you look them out there, there's breath taken as they come. But the whole southern portion really has not been explored. It's not a place that you will have any sort of nautical chart for. You barely have Google Maps for some of the spots. It's just unexplored. So obviously being near that, that was just a head-to-head straight for it. So we just started off on some of these islands. And, you know, no cruisers or anybody that we knew had been there before.

and we ended up picking out one by the very sanctific process of my wife looking at Google Earth and being able to see one and saying that looked pretty. So we had to this spot, it was about 240 miles from where we were. So two days' sail, we timed it well. So we had wind on the way there. But as soon as we got there, it was pretty calm, which was good because it's this beautiful circular island in the middle of nowhere. I had no idea if we could be able to anchor.

All these atolls, like I said, they're extinct volcanoes, So they have the peak, and then they just drop off in the middle of nowhere. There you get to. This is a picture of her right here that will just pull up. That's an atoll. So see how there's water in the middle and there's this outer ring, Peter? Yeah. What that is, is as Adam was describing, at one point in time, that was a volcano that came above land or above the surface relative, or at least close to the surface.

Then it collapsed, right? And what you have is the remaining ring that over time grew Carl and then there was sand and then there were trees, etc. So it's basically an extinct volcano ring in the middle of the ocean. And they're incredible... The coral keeps growing up, and the wildlife is just unbelievable. Anyway, so we roll up to this island, and we come from the far side, the far side of the photo. We're coming from the south. And as you can see, it just drops off in the blue.

We're looking for somewhere to anchor. And we come around the south side. We don't know if there's anybody there. You can see from the photo, it doesn't look like there is. And then peering out of the south side, is this probably 100 to 150 foot white cross just peering up out of these palm trees. I'm like, okay, that's a little strange,

but hey, at least people are here. And as we go around, we keep seeing these every quarter mile or so. There's just this huge white cross. So very weird. And we keep looking for anchoring spots. We try on the west side, which is the right side of your photo, right side of screen. No luck there, it's just sheer walls.

And finally, we come around to the north, And we actually see these small buildings here. I'm like, okay, there has to be a way to get, you know, tied up here. People must somehow access the water. Otherwise, there wouldn't be life. So I jump off the boat with my wife driving it, and I look down the reef, and there's actually this spot where you can tie it into the coral reef. So I take a huge rope, I dive down, run it through, you know, dive down 40 feet, run it through the coral.

Wow. And get back to the surface with it, and we tie up the boat. and now we're just staring at this, you know, desolate island, and there's this one house, there's this shrine, and there's a church there. There's no dock. There's no infrastructure at all. So I'm like, okay, well, we should go see if there's anyone here. We hop off the boat, jump in, swim into a shore,

and because we're very awkward white people and not very good South Pacific Islanders, we get crashed down by the waves. But we start walking on this island. And we're walking down the one path that there is there, not seeing anybody. We're kind of going through the church like this is weird. Are we, you know, stepping on someone's graves or anything like that? And then we keep walking down. And then all of a sudden we see these two children hiding behind trees.

And that's kind of scary. It's creepy, right? It's like children of the corn style where you're just like. Yes. Only churches. I know I'm the creepy one here. Like I've just mysteriously appeared to their island. Like, ah.

And, you know, obviously it's French Polynesia. I don't speak French or Tahitian at all that. So I give my best Bonchou or whatever, which probably is pretty terrible. So, you know, it's kids. They're three years old. They're expected to hide. But then I kind of look, especially from you, you creepy fuck. Wow, creepy.

And behind it. These kids are staring at you. Okay. They're hiding behind trees, too. Okay. So this is an awkward start. I mean, is this okay? Oh, yeah.

I go forward with a smile and, like, eventually, after a while kind of looking at each other, they pop out and say hi. And through a friend who spoke French that was with us on the boat of the time, we end up having a conversation, like, all as well. I'm like, all right, and we end up having an incredible time at this island. We stay there for three days. I spears some incredible fish. We cook up.

They show us all things, coconut. There's only four people that live on the island. Wait, there's only four people who live on this island? Yeah, the whole island. So you met the whole family. That was the whole family. Yeah, exactly. It was a whole island party.

We were all there. How's that work? Is there some inbreeding going on? How does that? I'm trying to figure out how that. There's a nearby island. So, I mean... Okay.

Got it. There's one that's like 15 miles away that has a population of like 200 people. Okay. So do they swim there? Do they have a boat? What's going on? They don't swim there. Peter.

That's a ridiculous comment. Swim there. where the other boat was tied up is all on some. Oh yeah, I'm just going to run to the bar. Let me take a 15-mile swim to grab a beer. There's four people living in a seven. I mean, he was not an island, but he had his own coconut still. And, yeah, there are just some things you do without and life.

You got to have your own still. Yeah. Yeah, no, we end up having a party, and the actually nearby island came by with some beers and all the stuff. What? We're finally at this party. It was, I mean, if you have a visitor, you're going to have, like, they spotted it from 15 miles away, and actually the mayor of that town came over.

They present those with black pearls. Like, I mean, these are just fantastic people. Like, shell necklaces and, um, I was able to spears and really big fish. So they were, uh, pretty stoked for that. We barbecued that up and, um, what these people can do with the coconut tree. Um, yeah, I can't even begin to describe it. How long did it take from when you landed on the island till they were like, all right, they're, they're not ghosts.

They're just stupid people from Chicago. Uh, I mean, it was a good, like, five minutes it's like a good two minute awkward stare at like where I'm just walking down the path kind of highs and like slowly coming out and they finally came out from the tree

and then it was probably like a good like 10 minutes until they finally cracked a smile you know like where it went from like let's who are we talking to here did you feel like sorry go ahead I never quite finished with it so like when we're

having a party like I finally we walked around the whole island we saw that there was actually 12 of these crosses and like got to ask about it and the island's haunted at night there's ghosts to come there and further than more than that. Why the hell are they living there? Yeah, what is they doing that?

Yeah. It's nuts. Well, notably they use the island as like their sick area. So if anyone comes down with COVID or probably not that. But anything, they send their people there to live in isolation. So it's ripe for ghosts. So were these four people ill when you got there? Were they sick? They weren't.

There was no one sick at the time. So they were actually just coper farming, which is farming the coconut. Okay. But when we asked, like, well, why would you think we're ghosts? They're like, well, you're the first people to ever visit here. So it was a lot more likely that you'd be ghosts than visitors. That's wild. Dude, that's fucking insane.

It was fun. Did you, do you guys familiar with that story? It came out a couple years ago, maybe about a year ago, of the missionary or missionaries that tried to go onto that island near the Philippines. And it's a completely uncontacted island. and like everybody knows about it, but the second, you know, the missionaries were like, God will save us.

And they stood on the island and just got like their heads chopped off and a bunch of arrows fired at them. I think it was just one guy. But do you remember that story? It came out. I do. I do. Oh, I got to feel.

The Islanders on that one. Yeah, I'm with them. But did you ever think like, all right, this is my Philippines island moment. Like these guys are just, the arrows are going to start flying any second here? I didn't have that moment because of just the repubes. of all, you know, South Pacific Islanders until we got there and there was just two little, you know,

children in the cornfield staring us down and then the other people hiding by the trees. And then it's just like you cross this invisible barrier. North Sentinel Island. You're just like, all right, is this all right? And you start questioning that. So, no, it was a good moment when they slowly came out from the trees and were not holding arrows. So the name of that island where the missionary tried to go and convert everybody. was North Sentinel Island,

what would you do, Adam, as a seafaring man, if you pulled up to an island in the South Pacific, just like the one you just described where you're like, oh, you know, looks cool from Google Earth, because I can totally see this happening to any novice sailor,

being like, this place looks rat. You pull up, there is the picture from when the villagers killed the guy. Will's got it up on the screen. If you're watching along on YouTube, you can check it out. That's pulling up at North Sentinel

island and these are the guys that, you know, flung arrows and killed the missionary. Now, Adam, if you were in this position, obviously not knowing that you were going there to be a missionary, but rather, you know, you're like, hey, we've been sailing for three days, haven't seen land in a while, cool-looking island, and you rock up and that's what you see from the skiff, that image right there. What would you do? That's so strong. That's a hard image to get away from. I'm sure that's not like the first image. that he saw. But, okay, let's...

Is that a little here your first image that I saw? Yeah. What would you do? I mean, how do you land to that? You just roll up on your panel board and be like, I mean, our approach to everywhere you go is you would bring something, your guests there, so you should bring a gift. Like when we went to the Samblas Islands in, you know, the Panama, where they had the Guna Indians, you bring gifts and you ask permission.

You don't, you know, come in there thumping your Bible or anything like that. tell him somebody something, you ask permission and you follow their ways. And, you know, seeing those natives there that's super intriguing. I mean, it'd be hard not to want to explore that with family there. You know, if I had my wife, yeah, we're turning around. Probably going that's what I'm saying. So, okay. Like, you're there and we're daring each other?

Like, what do you do? No, no, no. If you and I are there, we're already dead in that hypothetical. Yeah, exactly. We're going up there. Yeah. I'm like, I bet you can slap them on the butt. There's universal symbols of peace and all that.

So, but yeah, I mean, you just don't know what sort of belief they're going to have of, you know, are you a ghost? Are you, you know, an evil spirit? And I think that's so cool to think about because that's been the clash of cultures over the past, you know, a couple hundred years. But I don't approach that. I mean, you have a gift. That's all I got. I think, yeah, bring gifts. I mean, it's just like going to a regular party. I don't buy it.

I don't buy it. I know Adam really well. He's super abrasive. I feel like if he saw that, he'd probably like start thumping his own chest and just like go full gorilla and be like, I'm coming to your island.

Like I mean, you read the body language and sometimes it's going to be aggressive and if you're not aggressive back, you know, like for instance, if you hide behind someone, it's going to come after you. But if you're aggressive,

you can counteract that. You can show that I'm here too and you get a little bit I'm sure that may be the right play. That may be the right play to just, you know. I'm sure the guy who had his Bible was not thump in his chest acting aggressive. I'm sure he was like, hi, with a big smile on his face and then got an arrow through his chest. And they're like, look what our God sent us.

Right. Oh, man. I don't know if you knew this for us, but I planned on one day perhaps sailing the seven seas myself on a reclaimed on a reclaimed sailboat. However, my one biggest fear is that I'd be taken over by pirates. How'd you avoid the pirates, Adam? Is there specific routes? This is a real question, Adam.

This is not, he's asking genuinely. It's actually like, I mean, most people are like, ha, ha, how do you avoid the pirates? No, I'm serious. Okay, so we literally took routes to avoid them, and that was the main key. We're not outrunning anything. Unless there's another one of those storms popping.

Exactly. Then we're crushing it. Fifty knots, no problem. Don't need any steering. But I'm assuming this is a real thing you had to deal with. It is. Yeah, especially off the coast, South America, like you take some different routes, Venezuela area. You just go around it. You have to go further out to sea. Off the coast, Cuba was the only time when we had a moment at all was... What happened there? It wasn't a true by our moment, but it was pretty daunting for my wife. Once again, I was down below this time and disposed of on the throat. Why are you always sleeping? Why is she always driving the boat and you're always sleeping? She was a girlfriend and I had to test her.

All right. So a couple of pirates. So we're off the northern coast of Cuba and all of a sudden this boat comes rocking up really fast, direct line. And that's always like a pretty red flag, like direct line. Like something weird is going on. Sure. And yeah, I'm down at the throne trying to finish up some business

and she just starts screaming my name. and by the time I get up there, it's a bunch of Cuban fishermen just holding up their fish trying to get some American dollars for it. I mean, I'm going to end the story short because it wasn't a true experience. But that is a thrill.

Like, that's in your mindset. And it is just route avoidance, and it happens to people. It's not anything that's that uncommon to every year here about somebody that, you know, ventured the wrong way or went in the wrong area. 100%.

Yeah, yeah. No, it's a real deal. No, go ahead, Peter. Go ahead. Well, no, I mean, I was just going to ask, so, when, When did you start your adventures? What year? Well, I guess 2016 or so.

And so you finished up like 2019 after a few years or so? Yeah, yeah, the last leg we did from Tahiti to Fiji with a lot stops in between. Is the boat just docked or you got plans to go out again? Sitting in Fiji. I got one-year-old now and I finished up the last leg when my wife was staying at home this time and I went out with some fishing friends when she was seven months pregnant, so really great guy award there. But we got the boat to Fiji, and the idea was to sell it there, and actually just sold literally signing the paperwork today.

So a little bit of a bittersweet day. Yeah. But yeah, she just sold a bit of sitting in Fiji. Actually, a wild story that'll keep pretty short there is when I arrived. I literally ran into the original owners of heritage that sailed the boat from South Africa to Florida. No shit. and sold the boat there.

Pretty wild. That's a small world. And then never saw it again until we pulled up right in front of their backyard. That's nuts. So I feel like it's destiny for us to bring it there. And yeah, that was the end of our road. Just sold it. Shown way, yeah, there's heritage.

Man, I got to say, we had an incredible time on that boat. Well, I met Adam in Panama on the Caribbean side. And we sailed through, well, we didn't sail. we motored through the Panama Canal. None of us had ever been through the canal before, and it was we came very close to a disaster at one point, but we did get through all the canal. We got through the locks.

Yeah, no, it's crazy, man. Like with the Panama Canal, you know, you pull into this little zone, and they close these gates off, and then all of a sudden your boat's just lifting or dropping, in our case dropping. And we had these lines from the boat to like, you know, basically the, sides of the canal, and they just start dropping the water, and the lines just get tighter and

tighter. Adam came running over with a kitchen knife and sliced one at one point, because we're about to, like, rip the sides of the boat. It was wild, man. It was super cool. But then we... Go ahead, Adam. There's a couple things, canal. Like, you think it's, like, this technological marvel, which it is, but at the same time, it's, like, a hundred years old, so literally, like, water's, like, pouring out the side, like, pouring onto your boat. Oh, yeah. And the other thing is, you have this guy that comes out and guide you through, and, like, you'd be really nice to your guy, you know, otherwise it might stick you with a bad one, and someone.

like that. So like we cooked this great meal for this guy. He's doing awesome. He could not have cared less what was going on. Like any time we asked him a question like, yeah, you want this? He'd be like, yeah, yeah, definitely tighten that up right now and be like, no, that was not right answer. So we, we had an adventure going through there. And then we came out of the canal. We came out of the canal and we sailed to the first place Adam and I ever went on a dive trip together, which was the Pearl Islands of Panama, which are like 60 or 70 miles offshore from basically directly from Panama City. And it's funny because you wouldn't think that a group of islands right outside of a city of 5 million people could be so wild. And they're amazing, man. I mean, just huge fish,

tiger sharks, whale sharks, mantarays. It's just rad. And we were all there, the same, you know, friends of the pod that I mentioned earlier. We were all on Adam's boat. Ricardo actually got engaged to his girlfriend slash wife there, wife now. Yeah. And like, it was crazy. We had such a good time. We shot all these huge fish. And we pulled up on uninhabited islands and cooked up the fish that we got and cleaned them and made big bonfires and we were living the pirate life and i only got to do that with adam for like 10 days he got to do that for three years it's it is a dream come true you should definitely do it retap yeah well i mean once this pandemic bullshit's over i uh you know once we're vaccinated

and start going out we're definitely going on some adventures uh whether it's just me me you me you pat me and the girlfriend, me and the dog, don't care. I got to get out of receded. I didn't, man, whoever. W.T. Willie, are you there? Oh, he fell asleep again. He's snoozing. What a guy. Oh, my God, this is embarrassing.

He's definitely snoozing. He's laughed. All right. Well, there goes that idea. What was your idea? Oh, he's back. I was going to say. All right. Let me just out here tabbing through photos of paradise that I haven't been to. So WT. Willie, Adam. has a very good base knowledge of everything.

He's a smart guy. Okay. Retep is a dunce student. He's the smartest kid on the short bus. We all know this. I am as Adam... I go by instinct and logic. Like our last president.

I, we all know that I think I'm very smart, even though I'm like a C-minus type of student. Will, I'd take the guy. Why don't you put us to the test with a little game we like to call fact or fiction all right gentlemen welcome to another round of fact or fiction

this is a broson or favorite this is a game Adam where we test the intelligence on a gradient from professional biologist intelligent to professional bullshit artist and here today you right in the middle

right in the middle excuse me I love that which one's the biologist the game's easy I'm going to say a sentence. It's either going to be a fact or it's bullshit. We're going to start with Peter.

You're going to go second. Forest will go third. We're going to find out who knows the most about animals and who has the best bullshit detector. Fact or fiction, baby. Here we go. So Will makes a statement we guess whether it's fact or fiction. That's correct.

Okay. Let's do it. No Google. No Google. Peter. What's that? You are first. and the first question is

when we first walked on the moon Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong the astronauts left poop to return and see if anything would live inside the poop the astronauts left poop to return and see if anything would live inside the poop I

um God damn it I'm going to say that this is a fiction Fiction. Nonsense. Garbage. No way. Come on. They're not tainting the environment, although we do. But, you know, humans do. But I'm going to say, no, there's better ways that they could have accomplished that. They didn't just take a shit on the moon. Adam, you're up. I mean, if you're the first one to walk on the moon, you want to leave your mark. Fuck flags. You have a mouth of shit. Wow. There's just a strong need of me to not agree with Retepe.

He's learning. He's getting it. It's the whole game every time. It's real. And I mean, I can, and I've walked through the jungle before. If you got to go, you leave that behind and you come back in five minutes and there's a whole plethora of life. I mean, it comes flying to it. It does attract a lot. It's like a whale fall. Any sort of biological matter is going to be picked up.

But there's no way you're going to find it in a, oh, no way. whenever they're going to come back. Man, don't like a green with the rotep. Gotta go fiction. Two for fiction. Okay. All right. I like the idea here,

which is that could bacteria survive in fecal matter out in space? I feel like that's the attempted idea. Yeah. Out of space, mate. Sorry.

I'm going to say fact. Forest. God, please tell me. No way. Gentlemen. They, Oh. I contest.

only to return to see if there's any life and there was no lichen, no life, no little fucking worms, nothing. Perhaps the coldest, most frozen shit in human history. Where'd you find that? There's a... There's a...

There's a... There's a Vox video I watched today about it, actually, as a matter of fact. So I trust box. Yeah, why don't you just... Yeah, just shut out. I get this angry that I've got a point. you guys don't let's go well number two i'm realizing now that for us has like the like best position in the game yeah the best last he gets to judge yeah there was no

actual answer in there that he said yeah that's a fact he just said uh the other two yeah exactly yeah pretty much okay uh you should leave that to the that's a fact question number two not a shit-related question. Some hornets can use photosynthesis to create their own energy. Fiction. There's no way you're doing another fact in a row. And also, fuck you, hornets. Hornets are not special.

They're mean, and they sting you, and they don't even pollinate flowers. They're not pollinators. They're bad. I wish there was more bees, less hornets. This is a pure fiction. They don't do anything good for society. Okay, Adam, you're up. I'm going to have to go back to my first instinct and never agree with Routap.

You know, I've already been kind of mind-blown by the cuttlefish, and I don't understand why a hornet would need photosynthesis to create its own energy. I can get it from its food source, but I'm on the fact train here. Just feel strongly that Ritap is wrong, and animals have been amazing today, and they always amaze. So it's a bad move, bad move. Schwitz. Schwitz.

I'm with Adam. I go fact. I believe that Hornets can probably use ectothermic heat to do some of the point. Here's my point. It's a fact. You son of a bitch. Shut your camera off. Cancelable.

Why do they? The Oriental Hornet. We don't use that term in 2021. But they are special. And they somehow can create the solar power source. And there's a study at the University of Taylor Power Source. I read this one on National Geographic, so I trust it enough, and we can move on. Well, the only counter argument to this story will come out and read it later when Retep puts it up.

So right now it is definitely still fact. So let's continue. I mean, is it like you get an energy like Frat Boys at the Beach? Like, I don't get it. But I do take the point. Okay. Well, I have zero. This game sucks.

Peter, you still got a chance. Two points. Let's go. There's three months. more things to go. You got two more. I got five. Three more. I got all five out of five last time and now I'm going to go zero for five. Let's go.

Next question. Let's go. Keep it going. Very simple one for you. True or false? Oh, thanks. Leeches have teeth. Teethes? They got to have no, this is obviously a fiction

because neither of the other two were. That's my only logic. What? I mean, dead air? Let's just take them away. from that because obviously there is no logic. We'll cut into that answer. Speak up, Schvitz. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I'll stick with my main logic, that that's a fact based on you going fiction. Now, they got suckers. They suck a mean dick. They do not use teeth. They cut. They cut. They cut in there. They absolutely have to get that bloodstream started,

so I'm going to fact. Okay, all right. This is a fact. Leach do indeed have teeth. That's correct. they're not I know this I've pulled many off

that's for sure correct Rossers did we just went down on a technicality yeah nope they're they have teeth I'm going zero for five

this time it's my plan seems like it not about actual facts and fiction you're going to play the game on a higher level it's just not going to work mute his mic

he's trying to play to win it's trying to play to win it's not going to work that way mute Will's Mike okay all right I'm at three points Adam is at two Retap is at a big hard boner

zero. So let's call the goose egg. Let's keep going. Monkeys have been known to drink alcoholic drinks. And some monkeys have been known to even play drinking games.

Ugh. This is Why wouldn't they? I'm going to go, so they do drink for sure. 100% I've seen it. drink alcohol. Yeah.

Okay. I've seen that. Do they play games? Who's interpreting whether this is a game or not? I'm going to say that this is fucking fact. Fuck off.

It's a fact. Wow, so eloquent. You left so little to be said, but I'll try and pick up from there. Yeah, no, obviously that they drink alcohol. They get fermented fruit. We did that in our early.

history. But do they play a game with it? I mean, I don't see any games. I mean, I don't think they have the cuddle fish ability to like, all right, well, if I throw this into that cup there, I'll get to drink it still. It doesn't necessarily have to be beer pong. That's true. Can we get what game they're thinking about playing?

No, I don't see the game. I see just drinking and socializing. I think we are, you know, that higher being that's taken into that game level. And really, only recently that we've really, really stepped up the games in the past 20 years, I think. So fiction from you out? Yeah, fiction. That's what I mean. I have seen monkeys drink.

I've seen them do it. But I've never seen them play a drinking game. So I'm going to go fiction as well. Right. And the streak is perfect. Oh. No, this is fucking bullshit. Come on.

Listen, you guys don't know. That means you have to prove that every monkey out there has never played that drink in I'm definitely calling bullshit on this one. Nope. You just got out of the game word. Sorry. All right. All right.

For all the marbles right here, Will, let's go. I still got a chance. Yeah. Just get on the board, Ritap. This one's worth 10, dude. The church, the lamest, most crotchety, and rule following boring-ass religion on earth. Wow. That's my religion of raising.

Mine too. And I agree. There's some islanders in the Philippines that agree. During Lent, you're not allowed to eat meat on Fridays. That's the rule of law comes down from God himself. So they say, but they do allow you to eat beavers during Lent. The one exception. Okay.

Now, are we talking the metaphorical beaver like a vagina? Are we talking about the actual animals? Great question. I don't know the answer to that. We can't give it away. No, why? This makes no sense, but then many of the things that religion decrees don't make sense. Why?

What's wrong with beaver? I mean, you can eat a nice beaver on a Friday during Lent. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think that this, and this is for all the marbles, 3,000 points. I think that this is a pure fucking God, faction.

No. It's a fiction. Fiction. Okay. Adam? I mean, this isn't even off the Rotep theory. I think just never underestimate the hypocrisy of, you know, Catholic church here. Of religion.

And, you know, there had to be somebody in the history that's like, can't I just munch on some beaver this Friday night? Not a big deal. Let's just throw that little rule in there. You know, and their history goes back thousands of years. So somebody slipped that in along the way, and that's totally a fact. Catholicism comes from Rome.

Rome did not have beavers. Forrest, that was a fiction. Yeah, I'm calling it. Well, gentlemen, that's a fact. A crissue, weird fact. But they're talking about, they're talking about vagina, though. metaphorical beaver that was my theory that's what i was running with oh okay metaphorical beaver metaphorical biever all right what was the final score i don't agree with any of this

retep i've got one point no zero points sorry we'll go ahead we'll break it down how do we do peter peter lost that's for sure but i believe that forest and adam tied oh wow tiebreaker yep i don't yeah i have i had had a tiebreaker. It was lost on me, but here, let's see if we could find it. Well, it's still on the show doc, then. How can I think Catholic Church history already count as the... Yeah, that's not even animal anything.

Talking about vaginas and Catholic Catholic Catholicism. It's instinct. Beavers, baby. Bevers, baby. That's some nonsense. How do you make that up, though? I mean, like, it had to be true. Will's pretty imaginative.

Danger than fiction. It's the hardest part of my job. question trying to what's crazy what's really crazy is the word of the part is trying to stagger the order

of true and false to throw Peter off he's out here follow my mental path apparently he did a fucking great job now go eat some fever on it on Friday

we're all playing checkers and Peter's just over there playing chess 40 chess maybe maybe we'll let's go maybe we'll connect four marks time

so much dead air I love it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Lend the anticipations. I got one. Orb spiders.

An orb spider. Orb spider. Chops off the dick of its mate. Hmm. I'm not in this one. It's just you too. There are a lot of insects that just go ahead and kill the males right after the deed is done. So I'm going to have to agree.

That's a fact. although the graphic nature is a little disturbing in this one. I'd rather just maybe a head cut off or something. I would say fact like Adam, but in the interest of this being a tiebreaker and the fact that you were used the word dick and not penis, I'm going to go fiction. It's a fact.

It's a fact. Adam wins. Adam is an official winner of factor fiction. Congratulations, Adam. Thank you, sir. completely nothing. That's what I've always wanted. Yeah, no, that was good, Will.

Good job, W.T. Willie, thank you. Everybody loves factor fiction. Yeah, just their dicks? Really? Apparently. No, they eat them after, but they bite their dicks off first. Okay. That's great.

That's fair. We're going to go into, thank you, Will. Good job. Great factor fiction. I'm sorry that I came in second place. Did not care for that. Still did better than Retep. So we're starting to wrap up the show.

We're going to get to everybody's favorite segment in a second here. But before we do, Adam, I got to tell you, we have psychopaths for fans. I mean, they are rabid lunatics. I don't know what echelon of society these people have crawled out of, but they're the greatest and worst people on Earth at the same time. I mean, yeah, like they're literally, as they're listening to this, they are unfollowing and unclicking. We're losing followers right now. But... No way. Gaining.

But these lunatics do some incredible stuff. And one of them, fire hug, our boy Matt McHugh from Australia, right? Fire Huge. Fire huge. No, no, no. Fire huge. Oh, my God. Sorry. It's from, not from Australia. He's from the States, I believe. Yeah, yeah. Yes, you're right. He's in the south somewhere. It doesn't matter. Anyway, Fire Huge. He's got, Adam, this guy, I got to tell you this. He's awesome. He's hilarious. He took out a full-page ad for our podcast in his local magazine or newspaper. I mean, it's Benans.

He's the best. Anyway, he sends us all DMs the other day through social media with no description. He just sends some links to some websites. The first website, and Will will get ready to pull this up, www. portapottysplashback.com. Will, can you pull that up for us? Hang on.

So, Adam, you might not know this. My greatest fear in life is not snakes. It's not smiter. it's not cockroaches, it's Porta Potty Splashback. So what did Matt McHughes do? Yep, it's disgusting. We lost Will, so there goes that idea. But what did Matt McHugh do?

He's coming back. There he is. So what's the website name? Oh my gosh. That's it. If you go to www. www.portapodysplashback.com, just a nice picture of me in the mud

and a little get more info that takes is a wild time. What are you doing on that port-a-potty to get the chesty? Don't you worry about that. Matt didn't just make one website for, you know, me. What a guy. He decided to make two more. He made one, which was the hat of Patrick Duluca.com, because Patrick hasn't cut his hair in about a year and a half and always wears the same filthy hat.

And it's just an awkward picture of Pat with his filthy cat hat. And finally, and finally, he built a www. Unhealthy Taco Bell Addiction.com. He bought, he went out and bought all of these domains and just put up that picture. of her tax. So, yeah. Matt, this is money well spent, man. That is you and your element there.

I got to start working out again. Look at those shoulders. Yeah. Those were nice. What happened to those? So, no, people. So he went out and bought three different domains. Yep.

Dedicated one to each few. With the only content being, I mean, this is great content, but this is it. Well, I assume that these are going to evolve into full-fledged WordPress websites with many About Us pages, contact pages. Matt, don't do that. Don't do that. Lots of copy. So I got another, I got another DM from Troy Ryan, and I think Troy's trying to fight. I think that's what's going on because his DM said, Ridgebacks were bred to bark at lions.

Not true, they were bred to hunt lions. Akitas were bred to hunt bears. Just saying, my six. 65 KG Akira could mall a ridgeback. Thoughts? Yeah. Well, he's a... That's my thoughts, Troy, Ryan.

Don't shut up. You shut up. You shut up, Forrest. He is defending my battle royal pick. He's defending my battle royal pick. When did you, when did you, or, I'm sorry, pick an Akita? It wasn't a battle royale.

It was the top six countdown of, uh, of dogs that bite people the most. Yeah. And I said, I said the, the, Akita and you guys laughed me out of the building and then glad-handed and kissed each other and said what an idiot I am. You are? He's just defending me. No, I'm not.

I am not. Troy Ryan, you are the man. Forrest and Pat like to touch butts. See, hunting bears that run away from dogs versus fighting lions that will just absolutely mulling. No, bark. Do they just bark at the lions?

You're not finding a dog that's beating up a ridgeback. I'm sorry. And Troy's coming at me with some heat because he doesn't, he's got Akita's. I grew up with Ridgeback. Look at this flow. This is like a tickle me Elmo dog. This isn't a fucking bear hunter.

Look at this thing. Are you kidding me? This is nonsense. Okay. I'm just going to say, are you kidding me. This dog. First of all, it's fucking, when that thing stands on its high and legs, it's six feet tall, taller by four feet than you are, Forrest.

Look, this is a massive dog. Let me tell you something. Okay, you're a gargantch, right? You're like six three and like 280 pounds. Like, you're disgusting. Six foot and 110. What, no, you're, you're not 110 pounds. And Adam is like 5'8 and like a buck 40.

Adam was generous, actually. The shit out of you. I don't know what Adam actually is, but he's not very tall and he's not very heavy. And you're very big and very heavy. I'm pointing out that it is not about. the dog in the fight. It's about the fight in the dog. Adam would whoop your ass, just like a ridgeback, would whip the ass of an Akita, hands down, zero quest. I disagree. Troy Ryan, you are correct. Forest is a moron. All right. You know what?

That's it. I'm done. I'm done with this. We're going to settle this. No, I'm not done with the podcast. We're going to settle this the way that gentlemen on the wild time settle things with our one and only everybody's favorite game. Battle Royale. Adam, we do. We have a very high sound budget on this show. A lot of sound design. We do it all ourselves on air. Okay, so I haven't given this a lot of thought, but I figured in the

interest, no, I really haven't. In the interest of Adam's lovely visit tonight, hearing all of his incredible stories from sailing around the world, we'll do our battle royale like this. You are an ocean explorer, right? You're taking off across the ocean. This is pre the days of everything being mapped out. We have no Google Earth. We have no Google satellite. You're in the time of Charles Darwin, right? And yet we still know what animals exist. So in this game, you have to draft your three animals that you take on the ship with you or beside you. And why? We're going to do it snake draft style.

Retep, you're going to go first, then I'll go, and then Adam, you can go third. And at the end of this, we will explain why we picked these animals and why they are the perfect companions for your ocean voyage. Now, is this just companion or is this like for some sort of battle that we're... That's up to you. No, we will not be battling each other in this battle royal. This is about colonizing. This is about exploration.

This is about going to new places. Think way back in the day of ocean explorers. Who are you taking with you why? Okay. I like this. All right. So I go first. My pick, boy, this is a rough one.

So I'm on a ship. Yep. And I'm going to need, God damn it. I'm going to need some aerial support. Smart. But I don't know if I want to pick the aerial support. I'm going to go with my seafaring creature that will ride alongside. of the boat first.

And it will be the killer whale, an orca, or a pod of them. To not only... You get one. You get one. All right, fine. I get one, but they travel in pods. So they'll be around somewhere. They will be guiding me to new lands.

They will be defending me from all the sea monsters and mermaids that are out there. Okay. And because, you know, that's, you know, and they will be helping me along in my journey. Retep, I always really like to, you know, rain on your parade, but that's a fantastic pick. You know, you just pick the king of the ocean straight out of the bat. You know, go fuck your song. So, Adam, the way our game works, just so you know, once someone has picked something, you, of course, can no longer pick it. And it is assumed that you basically have full control over the animal, just like this orca will hang out with Retep, follow his boat around, do his bidding.

You're up next for a pick of any animal. you choose oh no wait i said i was up next right you did say that okay the back end that way you can understand the game so i'll go next um with a single pick and my pick is going to be the stellar sea eagle so i'm going to have this massive sea eagle that comes with me on the boat it can go and scout land for me it can catch fish and because of its size it can catch big fish um it can feed me it can go and scout, it can alert me if there's pirates coming. I mean, it's just, it's basically the perfect boat companion eight animal. Look at that thing. Absolutely incredible creature. Huge wingspan, largest sea eagle in the world. Perfect companion. I've already won the game. We might as well

stop now. Oh, geez. Yeah, so my first thought was totally towards food. But you kind of killed that with just one. And you would appreciate this pick. You know, tortoise is always what people brought along because they live for up to a year in the hold. You can literally turn them upside down. Yep. And they still make fantastic food a year later. There is no better voyage animal. But if you're limiting me to just one,

you were just getting one individual, one individual, yep. But you were up for two picks at the end of the snake draft, FYI. Oh, wow, okay. Yep. Yeah, I'm kind of heading towards just a better choice than Sea Eagle, because literally when I would sail along, we would, knock up these flying fish and albatrosses would just follow us and they would swoop down as the flying fish would fly into the air spooked by our boat and they'd swoop down and they'd grab them right in front of us

and that would be pretty useful just to deliver us that every single time so you just picked a bitch version of what I picked so I picked a rad badass sea eagle and you picked an oversized seagull to hang out with by the way he has a very that can live like how long can yours fly like how long can you fly like how long as long as years I'm watching. Not as far as an albatross. You're definitely right about that. Yeah. No, albatross are incredible. They can coast on thermals for long periods of time without coming to land. I respect that. Seems to be a bit more trainable. A bit more trainable than your... You still picked a Seagull as your first pick. Please continue. You've already lost the game. You might as well throw in the towel, but you might as well come up with your second pick.

Right after you just admitted that mine was the better choice. Um, uh, just to go on like kind of a, uh, you know, Forrest's old nemesis, if it ever comes down to fighting, I'll definitely go to the very harmless, never known to attack humans, hammerhead shark. They have great electric sensors. Okay, okay. That's a good thing. If we ever get into some shallows and need to root out some food,

they will be able to sense anything that is underneath the sand, as well as just being top predators that can attack humans at will. All right. Okay, so your first two picks, your first two picks are just about food. You got an albatross to catch flying fish and a hammerhead to catch fish, fish, stingrays, if you will. It's not bad. It's not bad. You do need food? Okay. I'm up. That's one thing I noticed. I'm up for, I'm up for my second pick. I'm up for my second pick. Let me ask you, Adam, as an experience semen, what is the number one thing that ocean explorers

would suffer from? Oh, yeah, you do need some fruit. It's scurvy. The answer is scurvy. What is scurvy? It's a lack of vitamin C. So my second pick... Oh, wait, I said one individual. Oh, that sucks. Yeah, I'm changing my own rules. That's true.

Yeah. Literally the best species that you would take on this. Well, no, okay, here's what I was going to do. I was going to say... It's what people did early on. I'm going to stand by it. I'm going to go for a colony

because it's not like a big animal. So my second pick is a colony of ants. Ants are very high in vitamin C. and if you eat enough of them, you can avoid scurvy. So just the humble ant. It's going to be very annoying. They're going to be running around the ship at all times.

They're going to be crawling on you, but at least my teeth aren't going to fall out. You should actually choose termite. You should you don't want termites? You sure you don't want termites on my wooden ship? That is the wrong. I thought about that. But I do not want termites on my wooden ship. Beautiful picture of ants that will brought up.

Those are ants if you've been a one ant that you're allowed to eat is going to be so trapped. No, I've got a colony. These are tiny animals. They're allowed to be a colony. Changing the rules as we go. Stellar Sea Eagle. Literally asked you. And the ant.

Yeah, well, you can't have a hundred giant tortoises. They were there. They were like the Caribbean monk seals. You just bong them on the head and you got them. Retap, what's your, what's your third? What's your second pick? Well, I'm afraid of scurvy now, so I'm just going to go ahead and bring an orange tree with me. That's not an animal.

That's not. What's in the amelia plant kingdom thing? Nope. Nope. What? It might be. I mean, he picks herpes most of the time, Adam, so I guess we can just let him have this. I picked a brain eating a meat food, white claw.

Nice. There we go. No, all right. You got to pick an animal for tip. I can't pick that. No, all right. No, arch tree. I mean, you picked a colony of ants when you're only allowed to bring one.

Whatever. All right. I'm not scared of scurvy anymore. I'm going to go ahead and bring with me a, just go with a seagull. I don't know. What's wrong with me? What a terrible pick. Why?

They threw it out of the window. That was the pick he used to make fun of my pick, which was I was a good one. Ugh. Woof. Yeah. The seagull is a great pick. You picked ants. You picked ants.

With a very good reason. I'm not going to get scurvy. It's a very clever pick. It's fucking absurd. I'm one of the only people that knows that ants are high in vitamin C. How many other people know that? Very few. Seagull greater than ants and is filled with vitamin C.

Nope, Retep, you are up for your third and five. final pick. Oh, look at that, dude. They are such scavengers, man. They will fucking drop food onto the boat and also they'll take any of the bad food off. There's scavengers. They're going to eat your food. Yeah, it's a terrible pick. You've got the best pick and now the worst pick. This is a perfectly trained seagull. Third and final pick. I once had a seagull come on the boat and it sat on the front. Like it jerked off and came on the boat? So, no, they're great. See, perfect, perfect. Yeah. Was this before or after you pulled the sails in? Yeah, there you go. Well, Nice.

This was at least week two. Let's go. Come on, Ritap. Third pick. All right, relax. Let's go. Let's go. My third and final pick is not ants, because that's ridiculous.

My third and final pick will be our friend, the alien, the cephalopod, the octopus. The octopus. Yep. That's right. Enough said. That's it. That's it. There's no explanation.

Does he ride the orca? And I have an eight-armed animal with many suckers. It's got brains in its arms and tentacles. It can morph into anything. It's basically a shape-shifting alien. And it will catch me food because it's perfectly trained. Throw it on to the deck. And before the seagull gets it, me and the crew will eat it.

There is no logic behind your picks. Okay. I have the stellar sea eagle, a nice colony of ants for vitamin C. I've got my fish covered. I've got my vitamin C covered. I'm good. My third and final pick, something that will be most important

because, quite frankly, if I'm sailing around the world, I'm probably going to get bored. It's going to be a long trip. It's going to be slow. There's not going to be that much to do. So I'm going to have a perfectly trained blue whale. Just a blue whale.

I can go right on his back. He basically is a swimming island. He can pull the boat. He can push the boat. He's just, He's just a perfect voyage companion as I travel around the world. A giant blue whale. I hope you plan on bringing earplugs as well.

Because it is the loudest animal in the world. If you're underwater, dip shit. They don't just yell at you when you're on your boat. This one is communicating to you. So obviously, it will be. That's true. Adam, you're up for your final pick. An overlooked feature of your blue whale in all whales is their navigation ability.

We are going around the world without Google Earth. Without any knowledge of what's beyond that horizon, and we need to know where to go. And no one can quite navigate the waters of the world like sea turtles. Oh, interesting. You can take them thousands of miles away, yet they will find the very beach that they were born on and return. And they can sense the currents.

The way that they can get through these long, long passages, is they sense the change in the current, and they know when to exert themselves, when they need to go faster, when they need to go slower, when they need to just drift, which would be invaluable. And I will actually get to my destination, whereas Forrest will just be singing songs with his very loud blue whale. Do you just want to, you just like the tortoise, you just want to kill it and eat it because you're a fucking disgusting human being? You do.

They are delicious. You chose ants. Ants is a good choice. It's potentially the worst pick in all 48 episodes. It's the best choice. I'm the only one who doesn't have scurvy. I'm happy. I've got a blue whale as a companion, a badass seagull.

All right. So, listen, if this is your first time joining the show, thank you. You know, if you're a brosner, go ahead, slide into the DMs, go on to iTunes or YouTube. Leave us a comment. Let us know who won tonight's Battle Royale. Was it Retep with the fire pick of an orca, the awful pick of a seagull, and then the confusing pick of an octopus? Was it Adam who had an albatross? A geontas, a giant seagull, just like Reteps.

A hammerhead shark. Can literally smell. Mind you. Albatrosses can smell food in the water 12 miles away. He's ruining my riff, Peter. Wow. That's because I'm a hammerhead shark. Because he just wants a cool shark.

Or a sea turtle for navigational abilities. Very good pick. Or, of course, the one and only broologist picks the stellar sea eagle, a giant badass sea eagle that can catch fish for me. Ants. Yes, that's right. ants to prevent scurvy, high in vitamin C, or the blue whale. Just a great companion, literally a floating island if I want it to be one.

All day. Every day. The Battle Royale. Rete, we got a special prize up tonight. Do we not? Yeah, we do. What is our special prize? Well, if you don't know, the prologist wrote a book.

And, yeah, it's called Still Alive. Talk a little bit about the book real quick. What's it about? It's, you know, the book's a lot of fun. Adams in it a couple different times, different stories. It's part biological adventure, part memoirs. It's my story growing up coming to America, how I found my footing as a wildlife biologist, how I made my first and significant wildlife discoveries.

And it even towards the end of the book digs into, you know, how my career is gone, but more so how it all came smashing to a halt when COVID hit and how our mistreatment of wildlife and animals has led to a global pandemic. So it's a pretty interesting read. It's already, I'm very excited to announce, it's already the number one pre-ordered book on Amazon in the space of, I'm going to mess this up, but like outdoor adventure or something like that in one of those categories. I'm very excited about that. And I will send out a, the book doesn't come out until June 1st, by the way, not out until June 1st. And if you go and vote on this battle royale,

you will be entered to win a book now with my signature and a note to you in the book, an autograph copy that you can have released months before the book actually comes out. You will have one of the first early releases. So, uh, yeah, Retep, tell the people where to go.

You know what? I'll throw in a autographed headshot of myself too. Yeah, I'm just, you know, who gives a shit? Uh, you know. That was my price of that, you dip shit. They like the author to write in the book, you dumb dumb.

I'm just going to throw it. We'll use it as a bookmark. Use it for whatever. It'll be a Polaroid. It'll be my face. Just signed. You can go, but go and vote on the show. Vote on the battle royale to the Wild Times podcast.

Dot com forward slash info to get to any of the links. You can get to the YouTube to leave a comment. The Wild Times podcast.com forward slash YouTube to get there to leave a comment on this. And if you don't know how to leave a comment on this. And if you don't know how to leave a review on iTunes, which many, many people don't because it's ridiculously hard, go to the Wild Timespodcast.com forward slash iTunes-dash review. And it'll walk you through it, how to specifically leave a review.

Pat, you've been missed. Hopefully you make it through your adventures. Adam, it's been great having you on. I, for one, love you. Forrest, you're an idiot. You picked ants. Yeah, and I don't know. After declaring the rules.

Yeah. It's a good pick. Adam, thanks for joining us. Retep, yeah, you said it. The best person in the world. And Papa P will be back next week. Looking forward to it. Adam, it's a pleasure.

You are officially a friend of the pod. It's good to have you on. Thank you for all the stories, for all the adventure around the world. And, you know, good night, everybody. Good night.