Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #51 - Zimbabwe’s Great Alien Invasion, Bear Hot Tub, & Boozey Orca Boat Party

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

In episode 51 the broducer introduces a new game. Plus everything in the title and more! Watch/Listen everywhere @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com​ Join our Discord community of wildlife and adventure enthusiasts @ https://discord.com/invite/zzTxnrHnS8 We love you!

All right, on that note, we are back. Welcome to the Wild Times podcast, episode number 51. Fifty one of pawning it up with two of my best friends, having a good time, drinking a little too much. This has been social hour throughout the pandemic. We started this right as the pandemic was starting. And of the 51 weeks that we've been doing this, I think I've maybe been out twice, total, with friends. So this is social hour for me now. So if you're listening to this for the first time, welcome.

You're 51 weeks late. You are effectively listening to my social hour, along with two of my buddies, Patrick DeLuca, aka the broducer. How are you, Pat? I'm great, man. This is fun. This is exciting. This is cocktail hour. What a great way to kick off the week.

Yeah, cheers to that. And of course, the ever grumpy, the rantey, the aggressive unnecessarily. so the the uh the professor phd podcaster mr ryttep what's up for tep cheers mates i don't know how i feel about that but i got this shirt on yeah i'm feeling good my spirit animal yeah that's right i've gotten fat so it's tight or it shrunk i don't know the dog bit a hole in it here because he's a dick uh but yeah happy to be here not grumpy in a great mood it's friday yeah have you ever noticed how so when

I get grumpy like very much so Patrick's seen it a number of times and the only thing you literally make you make the face that grumpy cat makes yeah I do

and everyone goes forest is grumpy the only thing that can make me more grumpy is when someone asks me why I'm grumpy like that's it like if you're grumpy

and someone is like hey man lighten up you're too grumpy or why you so grumpy it's like I will rip your fucking head off like do not Call me grumpy when I'm grumpy. Got a case of the Mondays, Forrest? Oh, well, you know what's funny about that is because when we're traveling, it's just guaranteed multiple people are going to get some sort of stomach bug.

Of course. Just eating, you know, like bush meat and stuff like that? And who, you know, when you're really, really sick to the stomach and you're nauseous and you just, you don't want to talk to anyone? Of course. Yeah. Forrest always comes up to you and goes, oh, you got a little grumpy, got a little grumpy tummy? Grumpy tum-tum. Yeah.

Oh, God. Like, as your shit in yourself and puking at the same time and he's like rubbing your back, going, oh, you got a little grumpy tum-tum? Yeah. I can see why Mitch hates you for us. It's because it's like the most irritating thing you could ever do to a friend, so you have to do it. Oh, God.

Can't wait to go on adventures with you, too. Yes. When's that happening? Soon. Soon enough, maybe. You got some big announcements coming up. Yeah. Oh, God.

I hope it's not like when you announce the Daily. videos without consulting me live on air. I hope it is like that. It's exactly like that. You son of a bitch. Awesome. Well, if you're joining us for the first time, this is the Wild Times podcast, a podcast where we hang out, talk about wildlife and news and what's going on.

And one of the things in our podcast that is so much fun is we have an extremely cultish community of what we like to call brosners. They're bros that listen to the podcast. We have female bros in case you were wondering. Broets.

Broets. They're some of the craziest without any doubt. But something came across my beautiful ivory desk this week. Ivory in color, of course, not in content material. Kind of fumbled my own joke there. And this is from a Brosner, and I couldn't believe that he took the time to do this. So I'm trying to pull up which Brossner it is right. now, but basically...

Way to be prepared. Sorry, Mike Irish. Apologies. Mike Irish pulled up, he created a potentially game-changing thing for us here at the Wild Times. Will, would you please pull up the picture of Mike Irish's new Wild Times logo? Let's hope he can. Let's hope he can. Wild Times will he?

We'll talk in the interim. Is it here? Wow. There it is. There it is. It's super graphic. I am obviously the monkey. I always thought Patrick was the monkey because I have a speargun.

You're the hippo, mate. Mate, you're the hippo. And you're steering the moped. I also thought I was the monkey, but I guess Mike Irish thought you were the monkey and you're holding your fishing speargun. Or maybe you are. I don't know. So here's why, if you're listening along on iTunes, we do this live on YouTube. So here's what I'm thinking.

Guys, what's your knee-jerk reaction to Mike's logo here? So it's tough for me because my brother made the original logo, hand drew it as a favor. So I have obviously an attachment to the original, but this is super cool. And here's what I'm thinking too. Because we have the merch, I think our best-selling T-shirt is just the Wild Times logo shirt.

Yeah. If we were to switch logos, that's going to become vintage. Vintage. And they'll have to buy a new one with a new logo. So it's a double whammy. Retev, what's your new jerk reaction to the new logo, the potential new logo from a person? When I saw the logo, it struck me right away. And I was like, oh, I love it.

It's super colorful. It's got, and then you look at it and it's got all these elements. There's the hat on the T of the the, and there's just the microphone, the podcast. And we've upgraded from a bicycle. to a moped. That's true. We are getting more wealthy, clearly. Exponentially.

We've made dozens of dollars. Nearly. And then I was thinking about it and, you know, and the pandemic's kind of toning down a bit and we're vaccinated and we're looking at getting together and moving forward and doing this whole thing that we talked about doing at the beginning. And the logo to me kind of would represent like the wild times, the next phase. And that's kind of just what struck me. It's like year two, right?

We're coming up on the beginning of year two. Anyway, so why don't you vote either put it in the comments of the iTunes or if you're watching on YouTube in the comments. Should we stick with the original logo or do you like logo version two? Let us know. And Reteb's going to throw a side by side on Instagram. and in the Discord for people to vote, right, Retap? Yeah.

Yeah, I will. Well, for sure. In about two months, I got to get to something that is in the world that we dabble in here, zoology. Very good. And I thought Retap would absolutely go fucking bonkers for this. But I do want to get the broologists take on it as well. So Dominic Haynes hit me up on Instagram. He always sends some cool stories.

and 59 years ago today, something mysterious in the world of wildlife happened. Okay. Okay. So Retepe, you're going to love this. Okay. So it was in March in 1962, two miles off the coast of Pensacola, Florida. Okay. All right.

So we're kind of down. Where is that? Is that on the Gulf side or is that on the Atlantic side? I think that's in the Panhandle, I think. Okay, so it's the golf side. So five boys, they went out. to dive a wreck of the USS Massachusetts, which was a Navy ship that had been scuttled. And so they went out to five teenagers went out to do a little dive.

Okay. Okay. The weather got bad and they kind of got stuck out there, two miles off the coast. So they were just kind of chilling, waiting for the weather to pass. The weather started to get better, and they started to cruise in. One boy, one of the teenagers returns back. The other four are not back. they died

sadly. So sorry, just to understand this is cruising back to the boat from the scuba dive. No, no, they got back on the boat and weather was shit. And then they're heading on. Got it.

Yeah, weather clears up. They start heading back in. One boy, his name was Edward Brian McCleary was the only survivor. And he says that on the way back in, their small boat was attacked by a very large sea serpent.

No way. The other four to go overboard. No way. What? How old were they again? Teenagers. I think I honestly don't know. But old enough to be out operating a boat and diving by themselves.

So not young for children. Yeah. Right. They knew how to scuba dive. Right. You know, theoretically they were certified if that existed back then. Right. So on the goal.

Yeah. And the guy stuck to the story his entire life. Sures that it happened. It was not that. They drown while scuba diving. You know, could be that. Could be that he was covering up something bad that happened. But let's just say, not crypto, but what could have maybe happened to a very small boat out in that part of the world?

Man. Well, Retep, you want to go first and then we can play the biologist card? Or what do you think? Sure. I mean, you know, first thought is the weather was bad. and it's that thing that we've discussed several times on a podcast where people you know, that's a very, I mean, how traumatic is that

that incident? I mean, where you psychologically kind of possibly just create this scenario where it's a much, much more terrifying and dangerous thing and really it was some kind of logical animal that flipped the boat over that you couldn't see because the weather was shitty.

And then, I mean, I'd like to hear more about the story. Like, did the thing, like, eat his friends? Or, like, they just knocked them over and they died in the water? Yeah, knocked them overboard. Yeah, I mean, it's lame, and this is a lame forest-like answer. But, yeah, I think it was just a case of mistaken animal identity. Why is that a lame forest? So let's throw it to the broologist.

What animal could this be forest? Well, so the Gulf is incredible. It's rich in marine resources. It's super diverse. Some of the most sharks I've ever seen are out there. And they get some really shitty weather. I mean, they were diving a wreck for a reason, right? You look at the Gulf, you look at the shape of it, and you're like, oh, that's protected waters.

Now, what they don't get a lot of is marine mammals, right? So the first thing you're thinking is, oh, it's a whale, right? It's a long whale. You hit the back, boat, boat gets knocked around, whatever. But they really don't get a lot of marine mammals over there. So that leaves, you know, that leaves a few options. That leaves sharks, you know, trying to think of something else. Crocodile or alligators.

What was that one that just, that one that just, they just found their, the invasive species, that giant, ugly fish that we were. Oh, no, that's a freshwater fish, Arabima. That's a fresh water fish. Oh, I see. So we definitely couldn't be that. Now, I'll give you a weird hypothesis. And I think that a lot, we've never really discussed this, but I think a lot of sea serpents

legends come from this animal. Will, could you do me a favor and pull up a picture of an ore fish? O-A-R-fish. Oh, yeah. They're badass. They're the incredible elongated silver fish that live in the deep sea, I think in the mesopalagic zone or epipelagic zone, which is like the deep, deep open ocean. And they're pretty worldwide.

I don't know exactly if they, you know, have been documented in the Gulf or not. But what's interesting... I can tell you they have, because you get them closer to land in Key West. Oh, well, there you go. There you go. And they're huge. One washed up in Catalina one time while I was living in California.

I remember that. But they're just these, yeah, there you go. There's one. Incredibly beautiful, crazy looking fish. And they live in the deep sea. But when they get sick, scientists have documented that they come up to the surface. That's basically like they're like, I'm messed up in the brain. I'm going to swim up.

Like I'm sick. I'm ill. I'm going to go up. So now these things get like 20 feet long. bigger. Perhaps. A bit bigger it even says, yeah. What does it say?

How long do they get? So it says, it says, you know, eight to 26 feet with unconfirmed reports of 36 to 56 foot specimens and up to 600 pounds. Yeah. So, you know, that's 26 foot long thing that looks like that. Now, I've often, I've long time believed that this is a sea serpent in many olden day times. And I wouldn't be surprised at all. There's a storm. This animal's sick.

It's near the surface. Boat strikes it. Totally knocks some guys overboard. You look over. You see this big silver, you know, slithering thing. It's got the crazy red comb going on. And you're like, that's a sea serpent. It's eating my friends or I kind of turn the boat around or whatever.

Guys probably drifted off and died. You know, bummer for them. But I could totally believe I forget the kid's name being like, I saw a sea serpent. Fuck, yeah. Look at that thing. you see one of those up at the surface and it's 30 or 40 feet long, it is actually a sea serpent. And there's no definition of sea serpent. No, totally.

There is no definition. Exactly. Will, there's a picture of one that was found, I believe, at Catalina, but if you Google like Orfish, California, it'll pop up for sure. And you'll see people holding it. And it's just so that you understand the size of this. There you go, right there. Holy crap.

Now, if you're in a small boat, like my first boat was a 15 foot. whaler, right? A 15-foot little open-bow boat. If I hit that thing with my boat, even me as a biologist, even if a 15-year-old who was a nerd on animals and we knew what these things were, would look over and see that, I'd go see serpent, I'd go see monster, you know, like you're, that is without a doubt your knee-jerk reaction. Now, I'll tell you another tidbit that I have, this is anecdotal experience or anecdotal observation, but when there are big storms on the sea, things get weird. Like, I don't know how else to put it.

Like, I've spent a lot of time in the California Channel coming between the Channel Islands and Santa Barbara. When I was... Actually, Jordan Mayshock told this story on the pod. But when we were coming back one time,

super gnarly storm. Our buddy Tommy, you know, he was like laughing and Jordan and I were basically cuddling because we were so terrified. And he told the story how the boat was going, you know, this way. And what we spot

were two massive great white sharks coming this way, and we were going so slowly, one of the two sharks turned around and started following the boat. Now, I've lived in Santa Barbara a very long time. I've done that channel thousands of times now, probably. The only time I've ever seen a full-grown great white shark was during this crazy storm, and it turned around and actually followed the boat for a while. And, you know, we were like, we're going to lose it. Like, the boat's going to go over. Like, we were terrified. Like, we legit thought the boat was going to go down. And we had a, you know, a 15-foot white shark behind us. And the only time I've ever seen anything like that was during a big storm.

Yeah. Maybe it has something to do with them being able to sense that anything floating on the surface, if it's alive, probably might be in a vulnerable state or something like that. Dude, that's the smartest thing you've said in 51 weeks. That's not actually an insult. I just, that's a great theory. It's a compliment. I feel like there's like probably a line in Pirates,

one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies where I'm sure some crusty pirates says something like, you know, like when the ocean is angry, things come from the bottom. Dude, that's brilliant writing. It's a good voice. You could definitely write for Pirates of the Caribbean 36.

So what else? What's your favorite sort of in the news? What's in the news thing that came up this week for us? What do you? Oh, I had one that trumps all others. So, I mean, speaking of sea creatures and weird sea creatures. My favorite dinosaurs are those that come out of the sea, right? And we always seem to discover more and more of them. And this week, a winged eagle shark was discovered. Yeah. And look at this thing.

I mean, it's just the graphic rendition of what it is, is, it's just the coolest thing ever. It's a, it's a sting, it's like a Manta Ray shark hybrid. It's got these huge wings. Scientists estimate that it used to roam the sea millions of years ago, you know, using these weird fossilized way, or they're not fossilized men, using these weird wings that they found in fossils, that they, you know, I don't know. They just looked super cool. I mean, I don't know what to say about it. It's like if a whale shark had wings and probably ate stuff that wasn't just plankton.

Will, can we get a look at this thing? I got to see what he's talking about, even though you described it. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Oh, shit. Wait, so how big is this thing? Huge? Yeah, I think they said in the report, the wingspan was basically six and a half feet and the body length was six feet.

So it wasn't massive, but still, when you compare this to like modern day rays or sharks, it's just extremely different from anything we have. So you might not know this for TEP, but rays and sharks are the same thing. They're both cartilaginous fishes. They evolve from the same evolutionary stem. But yet, you know, look at sharks and look at rays, there are a few, like, sawfish and things that are like guitar sharks that are kind of like hybrids. But this thing is like a whole different level of hybrid, you know, like that face is like something of a whale sharks. The wings are like even more bizarre than any existing ray. The body is like that of a whale shark.

I don't know. It's just super cool. Yeah, it looks, I mean, it's got the upper half. Well, I mean, the wingspan on it is super. I've never seen any animals that look like it. And I've been looking at a lot of animals lately so I could study up and not look like a schmuck on this podcast. And I've not seen something like this. It looks like it's doing a graceful swan dive as well at all times.

And I like that. Yeah. So that was my favorite thing in the news. It's, you know, a cool dinosaur discovery. Nothing too exciting. What about you, Papa P? Anything come across your desk that you liked? Yeah.

So, oh, yeah. Do you want to go ahead of a tip? Dude, yes, because I'm the. I'm bringing the comedy relief here, and this is fucking funny. And I think everybody in the world has seen this bear that hops into this jacuzzi. Okay. I haven't seen it. Oh, my God.

Will play this video from about 37 seconds in. It's in the show doc. There's a bear, a black bear, and it looks like it's shot for a movie. This thing, just watch this. You guys see this? All right. So someone's filming, looks like, got their back. window.

Yep. Oh, yeah. Audio. Okay, so they've got an above ground hot tub. Yep. Bear comes over the railing. Fully grown black bear. Literally just walks up the steps.

Chilling. Walks up the steps. Maybe he's a little, maybe I'll have a drink out there. The beautiful picturesque mountains. The sun is setting. Where is this? What part of the country? Ah, shit.

Let me take a, oh, it's in a smoky mountains in Tennessee. I have to assume the bear gets into the... It literally steps into the hot tub like a human toddler. Oh, and he's sitting down on his butt. Look at that. The hot tub is hot, too, so it's like steaming. It's not like he's taking a dip in a pool here. And he sits in it.

He just sits and relaxes like any fucking warm-blooded animal. Fully sitting in the same posture that a human would sit in a hot, tub enjoying the shit out of himself. That's great. I love this. That's so cute. It's so fucking great. He goes out.

The guy goes out to get a closer look. So he's no longer got a barrier, no pun intended, between him and the bear. A barrier. That's a risky move. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so anyways, I saw this and I was like, is this? So what's up with this?

I mean, is he doing this for the same reason that human beings would do this for? Absolutely. Because it feels great. Warm and comfortable, man. Why wouldn't you? Well, I don't know, because, listen, he's got fur. I got long hair. I don't always like to get it wet.

It's a pain in the ass. I was going to say, the thing that this bear doesn't know is the feeling of getting out of a hot tub. Yeah. Totally. You're just like, I'm going to do the bear minimum dry off to run back in the house because it feels like knives hitting my body. Dude, I mean, it's, and in Tennessee, this, it looks in the smoky mouth. I mean, it's just picturesque the whole thing. And like, to be there and just watch this happen, I mean, I'm assuming I've seen a lot of videos of black bears where they will just like come up to a campsite.

They don't give a shit if people are standing around and basically just steal food. Oh, yeah. And be like, fuck you, I'm taking it and like go stand over there. Dude, it's like the bully in sixth grade. Yeah. But they're like not aggressive. If they're bigger and tougher than you and they want your cheeses, they just are going to take them because why wouldn't they? Right.

It is. It's pretty funny, too. It seems like I would like to hang out with this bear over any other bear. It's a black bear. I think it's so funny. I love the way he comes and sits in the hot tub. If you're asking me why, I'm not trying to anthropomorphize it, but there's no doubt he's just doing it for enjoyment. He's like, this is warm, it's comfortable, it's nice, it's cold out here. This looks delightful. And good for him. Good for that bear. Yeah, they do a lot of the same stuff humans. do, right? So it's like, you know, I didn't really

realize until I started working in like the line of television that like if you're in a even a really remote place, if there's trails that are designed for humans, the animals are going to take the trails. Oh yeah. Because they're just easier to walk through the same humans like walking over the trails.

Yeah, they do a lot of the same stuff. All right, so we'll pull this one up. I thought this was really cool. So there's basically a real party town. It's an island, I believe, called Galveston, Texas. Yeah, I've been to Galveston. Yeah, it's like people go there to, like, I associate Galveston with just like people drinking a shitload of beer. It's pretty lowbrow, but it's also a super fun place to hang out.

Yeah, Galveston's in the Gulf too, right? Correct. Yep. So we're in the Gulf of Mexico, and there's like a booze party going on. This is, I think, in the last few days. And people are just getting crunked on a boat in the Gulf off the coast of Galveston. they come upon a pod of over a hundred orcas chilling in the Gulf of Mexico. That's weird.

Killer whales? Yeah, buddy. I mean, to me, I associate, obviously, stupidly. I tend to just associate orcas with very cold waters, like Pacific Northwest, Alaska. I didn't, you know, Antarctica, right, when we worked on whale wars, I mean, there was orcas all over Antarctica. I didn't realize they hung out in, like, more temper, like warmer waters like this. Oh, straight up into tropical.

I've seen them in Mexico a few times in like crystal clear warm water. But to see them in the Gulf is definitely unusual. I mean, maybe it's not. I don't know, but I've certainly never heard of a big pot of orcas cruising through the Gulf. And it goes back to what I was saying earlier with the sea serpent thing. Like the Gulf of Mexico is just crazy. Like there's so much bioabundance there. And like the reason those shrimp fisheries and all those fishing fisheries I've taken off there is there's just so much life in that

golf and it doesn't surprise me that orcas would want to go there even though it's probably pretty rare so would you assume that this huge pod is you know you've talked before about how like there's there's pods that eat seals and then there's pods that eat fish right yeah yep this is probably a pod that eats fish got to be yeah probably maybe a stingray um because a lot of orcas show preference for stingrays and there are a lot of rays in the gulf so it could be a could be a Ray eating pod. Could be a fish eating pod. But wow, yeah, they're playing, they're cruising. That water looks beautifully blue. Man, that's awesome. Now, what a cool sighting. Have you ever seen a pod that big? What's the biggest pod you've seen in person? Just last year when we were filming up in Alaska,

I got into the biggest pot of Orca I've ever seen. And when it started, there was like a group of six here and like a group of four or five there. But at the end of the night, around 1.30, it was still light out because it was summer in Alaska, they all came together and it was probably about 45, 50 of them. And that was mind blowing. So to see double that is absolutely insane. And those were eating salmon, right? At the root mouth? Salmon and herring. Yeah, exactly. No, and that was, that was a phenomenal encounter. I'm excited for when that show comes out and people can see it because it was beautiful. I mean, the setting, the place, there was nobody around. It was just us on this tiny little boat and all these orcas free jumping. And it was, it was. It was. It was,

was incredible. But yeah, no, it wasn't a hundred of them. That's for sure. And cruising with the boat like that, that's pretty wild. That's the one you posted to your Instagram that one time. Yeah, I posted some Instagram picks. Yeah, I don't think. When does that show come out? Is there a date? It's supposed to be this shark week, which is June, July? I don't know. I never know. Yeah. Of course, I should know, but I don't. Yeah. Forest, I got one that I want to talk about Brosner sent in a video about a story that happened in Zimbabwe, where you're familiar with Zimbabwe, right? That's how we pronounce it. Very good.

They have Zabras and aliens from out of space. Okay. So back in, I think it was 1996. Oh, yeah, 96 alien story. How do you know that that's what I was going to say? Is that the only thing that happened in 1996 there? No, it's the only thing you talk about. That's how he knew.

No, I know because as soon as you said something that happened in 96, yes, that is the only notable thing that happened in our country in 96. It is also a world famous story. And I was pretty young, but I loosely remember it. But I actually, one of the reasons I jumped to top of my mind, I recently talked to my mom about this. And she remembers it vividly. Like, everybody was talking about this in the country when it happened. But yeah, Retep, introduced it, explain what happened. And then I'll tell you some.

first-hand experience with it. From my understanding, there was an alien landing, so not just a sighting, a craft actually landed and two three-foot-tall beings exited the craft in front of essentially, I can't remember exactly, but 60 to 100 kids and teachers from a school. Correct. And they got as close as like five, six feet away from these beings purportedly. Are you saying beans or beings? He's saying beans. I'm talking about alien beans, bro. Like the kind that make you fart in front of your dog so he runs away.

Okay. No, beings. And so the whole thing is that they all saw this same thing, and they all reported it exactly. in the same way, including the teachers. So it wasn't just the kids, it was the teachers too. And that's the story. That's what I read.

And it's some crazy story. What do you know? I mean, you summed it up. It was a school. Yeah, I mean, you really summed it up. I think what was most fascinating about that whole story is it was 60-something kids, plus half a dozen teachers that all stopped class. This was during class, left the classrooms, stood around on this field,

and watch this craft land and two creatures with oversized eyes get out and walk away. Now that sounds like something you'd see on History Channel, not knocking History Channel, but you get my point. You know, it sounds like nonsense. Yeah. Except for like the foreseeable future, all of the kids were drawing what they saw because nobody could believe it. And they all drew the exact same thing.

Oh, yeah, look at that. Will's got pictures of drawings. They literally all drew the same thing. The teachers reported it. The kids reported it. This wasn't like, you know, Jim Bob out doing crack in the woods. It was like, I saw me. It's an aliens.

This was 60-something people that all stood around together and witnessed the exact same thing. And then 60-something people reported this to like the newspaper and the press and the media. And it was covered. But everybody was like, oh, they're crazy. I don't know how you get 60-something people to all be crazy or all be in on a lie and never break it. And that's literally exactly what happened. I saw an interview with one of the teachers or the main teacher that was there. Yeah.

And he said that shortly after this happened, he had some people come to his house from the government. And they are, you know, I can't remember who they were military, whatever. But they basically threatened him and said, you know, what you saw was a blah, blah, blah, like a helicopter. Well, yeah, well, welcome to Zimbabwe. He probably went missing three weeks later. That's just how our government operates. That's, yeah, that's the common story that Jim Bob from wherever, you know, tells too, is that, you know, the men in black come and threaten, you know. So it's not like just Zimbabwe, that kind of shit.

But it's weird, though. No, but in Zimbabwe, on that note, Ritap, and, you know, if any of our brosners are from my beloved home country, they all will agree with this. A lot of people go missing and a lot, you know, like, it's not a democracy. like people disappear, people get wiped off the face of the earth, you can be, you know, it's illegal to be gay in Zimbabwe still. You will be stoned to death if you're gay in Zimbabwe and it's found out. So it's a little bit different there and things like this do happen. And in Zimbabwe, the government threatens you, it's not like here where you're like, well, I'm going to go to court, you know, and like you'll never get away with it. I'm going to call the police.

I'm going to go to the L.A. Times and they're going to get this out. Totally. Yeah. Like, you know, and you, I'm not saying that you can totally get away. with it here because I'm sure they have controls too. But there it's like there's nobody you can go to. Like it's all under one umbrella, you know, and that is just how politics work there. Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, but the whole point of that is it's just interesting to me that you mentioned that, Pat, because, you know, as a devout conspiracy theorist for over a decade now, I've read, aliens are my favorite thing. Alien encounters are like my favorite thing to read about because, you know, they're just insane encounters.

Like, and whether or not they're just fictitious stories or whatever, you know, the more real something seems, but it is yet at the same time, like, fantastically ridiculous from our, like, what you consider real in the world, the better, you know? So if you can, but, you know, one of those things that's in all of the stories of the people who start to get, like, their story starts to get popular is they say that somebody came and basically strong-armed them into that shit. So it doesn't, it's interesting that this teacher, even in Zimbabwe, you know, is saying this when, you know,

but what do you guys think? I mean, is this a real incident? Religion is a big thing that keeps people organized and keeps the world from chaos, right? Because almost every religion has a set of rules that essentially says, shouldn't kill other people, like, don't steal, right? So if something were to happen that basically made people question their religion, which if there was just aliens living on other planets coming to Earth, that like the Bible, for example, would suddenly be wrong. Right.

Aliens and life on other. Provably wrong. Isn't accounted for in Christianity. And so, you know, it would make a lot of sense to not throw every society in the world potentially into upheaval. To chaos. It would make a lot of sense that there would be a coordinated effort by governments to keep information that could fucking throw society in a chaos suppressed. So I don't think it's that far of a stretch to say. Well, I, so look, I think anybody that doesn't at least somewhat believe that there's other life in the universe is pretty silly.

Like the universe is so big. You know, we've just recently begun to identify other planets that have structures that can support life as we know. know it with regards to distance from, you know, suns and gravity and what creates water, etc. I can't believe that anybody in today's age with a good education should think that we're the only life

forms, the only planet with life forms in the galaxy. Now, all that being said, does that mean that there's three foot tall green men with over black men as they said in the Zimbabwe story with oversized eyes coming out of flying saucers? I don't know about that. I think that it's beyond

a coincidence that 60-something people, would see all of this and stick to their guns forever and never never waver on what they saw i also and i think i told this story on a podcast once before patrick asked me like what's your closest to supernatural experience you've ever had now keep in mind i grew up in zimbabwe and it was around this time i don't know if was 98 or 92 or whatever but in that same time period i again i think i told the story once before as a little kid i ran out on my mom's balcony so that my my parents had a big bedroom and then it had like a wraparound balcony on the left-hand side as you entered the door. And I ran out there pretty late at night, you know, like 9.30 at night. It was dark. Big, beautiful moon, stars. And to this

day, I don't know whether this was real or a dream because I have such a vivid memory of it, or if it's something I saw in a movie and I materialized in my own imagination. But I remember seeing an alien thing, a flying saucer thing. And I'm a scientist, and you guys know me. I'm very practical. I'm not like, you know, ooh, boogie boogies and spookies and stuff. But to this day, I do not know whether what I saw was a dream or it actually happened. I don't remember it. I just remember very vividly running out on the deck and sitting down and watching this thing very slowly move through the sky right in front of me and then running inside to get my mom and sister and dad and everybody and pull them out and there was nothing out there. Whether that happened

or not, I don't know because I was young, but I will never ever forget what that whole thing look like and it totally same country same time frame in general that this happened which is kind of weird let me be let me be frank no you're at either have aliens visited earth yeah yeah thousand percent if you watch the documentary uh it's called i think it's called black box UFO secrets yeah it's a collection of uh black box recordings from commercial airlines so this again isn't isn't you know dill jenkins who had a uh a crop duster. These are commercial airline pilots with multiple pilots in the cockpit. And every one of the ones that depicted on this dock is they triangulate where it's, you know, American Airlines flight

1213. Well, Japan Airlines, blah, blah, blah, well, Russian airlines. And they're all in the same place reporting the same thing. Numerous times they're saying this thing is the size of an aircraft carrier. It just followed along above us, a thousand feet above us, and then took off at 10 times our speed. And these are, and almost every single one of them, the official report is, oh, it was a weather balloon. And you have numerous pilots from Japan and Russia and China and the U.S. all saying, this thing is the size of a fucking aircraft carrier, and it just went 10,000 miles an hour. Actual recordings of them like saying it's not an interview or anything. It's amazing. And when you watch that to then go,

like, it's just, you just don't want to believe, and that's okay. If you don't want to believe, that's fine. Yep, totally. So Forrest, are you going to be one of those guys that goes, or do you believe, too, that they've visited Earth? No, I'm a, I'm a guy until there's proof. Like, that's part of being a scientist, right? Now, am I disparaging those that go out to find the proof?

No, but this is where, like, the line starts to get blurry, right? It's like, you know, people sometimes, not sometimes, all the time I get messages on my social media, go look for Bigfoot. And I'm, uh, about Bigfoot, right? Because it's Bigfoot. But really, like, what's the difference between looking for Bigfoot and looking for an animal, like, say, fern that only one ever has been recorded 114 years ago, right? Like, the difference, I mean, the difference with that one is there was a specimen, but still, it's like, you know, it starts to become kind of a gray area between like these extinct. animals and these crypted animals and things that were described, but we don't really know what they are. Perfect example is the Kill Away a Death Lizard, which is this giant gecko from New Zealand that

like there's a same, it's similar to Fern. There's a single specimen of a gargantuan lizard in a museum that turned up like 10 or 15 years ago, I think in London, that basically just has a label that says New Zealand. And they're like, wait a minute, there's this like four foot tall gecko from New Zealand. and Maori lore and legend for thousands of years talks about the death lizard, the Kiloquia or whatever, I don't know how to pronounce it, this giant gecko, right?

This is like, is it a cryptid because it comes from Maori lore and nobody's ever seen it, but then all of a sudden there's this single specimen in a museum in London that says like New Zealand 200 years ago, and it's like, is this a Blizzard Bigfoot? Is it the real thing?

Like nobody, you know what I mean? It becomes such a blurry line this and and to add to that not to dog leg us too much the same thing happened in new caledonia like 60 or not no like 30 years prior where they're like oh there's these giant geckos there and everybody's like oh that's outrageous and then sure enough some scientists went there and we're like hey yeah here's some giant geckos like double the size of any other known geckos on the planet and and now they're like you can buy them at almost any specialty pet shop right but but 20 30 40 years ago whatever it was they were a fable and so it's just like

It's like, you know, it's, so my point is I don't, I don't discourage or disparage anybody that's open-minded that wants to look for proof of these things, whether it is Bigfoot or aliens or whatever. It's not my field. There you go. There's the, the Kilokoya, but it's not my field. Wow. But this is. Massive gecko. Holy shit.

Look at that thing. It's like the size of a small gator. It is. And in Maori lore, anybody that sees one drops dead, basically, or I think it's a sign that death is coming. something along those lines. So the Maori didn't want to see them, and Europeans haven't seen them except for the specimen in music.

So it's like, it's such a hybrid between we know it's a real thing. You're looking at one on this picture. We know it comes from New Zealand. It also has this crazy cryptic, cryptid history. I don't know. I like, I love this kind of stuff, right?

This is where like science and what drives you. What's that? Let me ask you this as a broologist. Are you familiar with homo fluorescenesis. Yes. Yeah. Floracensis, isn't it? I'm not. Tell me. Well, this is, I mean, I think this is one of the coolest things ever. So there's an island called Flores Island that is right next to Komodo Island. It's I think the, yeah, in Indonesia, it's one of the only other places where they have Komodo dragons. Bintang Flores. It's where I got the scar right here. Oh, shit. Got that in Flores?

Yep, that's from Flores. What were you doing? I was trying to pull a lobster out. of a hole. Have I never told this story? I'm sure I've told you, Pat. Do we want to tell it right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. How'd you pull a lot off the hole and get a giant scar from it?

Oh, God. Is that when you were going in the, doing the caves? Yeah, let me tell it quick. And then, because it's a good one. Let's stay on the tangent that we're on. But when I went to Bintang Flores, one of my biggest bucket list items since I was like six years old was to see Komodo dragons.

Like nothing I've wanted more since being a little kid like every little reptile nerd in the world. So I finally got there when I was 22 or 23 years old with Jess. And I shot into, we were on a super shoestring budget. So I was like, I'm going to go diving. I'm going to get some food. We'll cook it up on the beach, blah, blah, blah. This was long before Bintang Flores and Komodo had all these luxury hotels and shit.

And we were staying in like a little homestay hut thing. So I go out diving, dive down, see a lobster in a cave, shoot the lobster with my spear gun. Well, my spear goes flying through the lobster and wedges into the car. And I'm just in board shorts. So I reach down, try. I tried to pull my spear out. It's the only spear I'm traveling around the whole world with, and so I can't afford to lose it, and it's wedged into the rocks. So I start going back and forth trying to get the spear out, and I feel like something itching on my arm. Now, I've got fire coral

in the Caribbean a dozen times. It sucks. It burns for 10 minutes. And I'm like, oh, it's fire Carl. That sucks. Well, it takes me like 15 dives in half an hour to get the spear free, and finally I do while I'm rubbing my arm against what I thought was fire carl. Well, it turns out in Bintang Flores in this region of Indonesia, there's a highly toxic fire carl, and when you spend 30 minutes rubbing your arm against it, it kills all your skin. So that night I went into cold sweats, fever, like a terrible,

woke up the next morning. I'll see if I can send a picture to you guys at some point. And the skin from my elbow crease to my nipple was black and oozing and bubbling and falling off in like dime-sized chunks. And I was, And I didn't know what to do. I puked all night long.

I felt terrible like I had this giant coral burn. And I didn't know what to do. And we found the only doctor on the island of that time who was actually a cattle vet because they run cows there. And I went into a three-sided building. One of the walls was blown out from a hurricane, tried to play a game of like Pictionary to explain what had happened. She pulled out a filthy needle, took the biggest dose of cream-colored liquid I've ever

seen, told me to roll over and take my pants off, shoved it in my butt, and I felt great. The skin continued to die and fall off, but I felt like a million bucks and still got to see my Komoto dragons. Jeez. So was it like an opiate? I have no idea, man. To this day, I have zero clue what she shoved in me, but it made me feel good. A little poppy seed tea going into your buttocks. But anyway, that was a big dog leg, but that's how I got that's cool. The quick version of this, because now I'm like wondering if I've said this before on the podcast. But in Flores Island, they had, you know,

there's a lot of, like, villages of the indigenous people that live there. And it's not like, this is not like a built-up place with cities. And so for years and years and years, people that had visited Flores Island, when they talked to the villagers, they talked about these little hobbits that lived in the woods. And they would come and steal babies and steal livestock. but, you know, it just sounds like this sort of mythical silliness that, you know, these hobbit-type creatures with huge feet coming out of the wood. Well, they're only supposed to be

like three feet tall, right? Yeah, they're short, and they have these huge feet, and they would come and they would steal babies in the night, right? And this is just thought of to be sort of a story or whatever. Then in 2003, they're doing this archaeological dig in a cave called Liangbois on the island, on the island, and they find a cemetery of, a species of hominid that is now called homo flora census or whatever or flores island man that are as another species of human essentially that's three feet tall they have massive feet matches all descriptions and they they excavate over 60 of these skeletons of this completely separate creature that that's completely human in every other way they have the same skull you know

the same skull structure. They're just tiny humans with giant feet. It's known as Flores Island Man. That's actually the archaeological dig there in the cave. So it's just crazy to think that like, you know, this was, and not to say that they were coming in and snatching babies. Also the youngest of these skeletons, I think, was 50,000 years old. Right.

So we don't have proof that they're still alive. This could have been a story that passed down while the Homo sapiens and Flores'Alman. years, though, that is a long time for a story. It's a long time for an oral tradition, yeah. Yeah. Yep. So I think that's super cool. Like, to me, that's like, shit, let's go look for some hobbits.

Totally. Let's go find some, dude. So on that note, one of the... It's culturally insensitive to call them hobbits, mate. Come on now. It's not. I'm kidding. They don't even exist.

They do exist or did exist. They did. It's just like the death lizard. It's just like a bunch of these things where it's like, it's all lore and oogie boogie. and you're so stupid for believing it until it isn't, you know? And then it's like, you know, you're such a jackass. It's one of the things like Patrick,

you and I often talk about the problems with my field of like wildlife sciences and just sciences in general, which is the whole like if you didn't think of it or if you didn't prove it, you're an asshole, right? And this is this totally falls into that. Like everybody talked about, you know, the Flores Man as as being like a cryptid, a big foot, you know, a silly little hobbit tradition. and then it's like, oh, here's a cave full of them, you know? So it's just...

Right. Yeah. So, this podcast is getting all over the place. Have you heard of... We're on... This is all science adjacent. That's what we're... So have you heard of Orang Pendek?

Have either of you guys heard of this one? Nope. So, okay. So, just like the Flores Man, there is another Indonesian folklore called the Oran Pendek. And it's basically... This one comes from the island of Sumatra. Now, I've been to Sumatra.

It is as wild as it comes. Like, there is few places on Earth left as wild and as diverse. You know, remember when we had BTG on the phone? We were talking about the Wallace line. This is right on the Wallace line. Super diverse, crazy place. Will, if you can, and maybe we're going to get shut down, I know we're doing a lot of videos this time,

find the video where the guys are riding their motorcycle and they see the Aurang Pendek. So imagine a tiny little like basically orangutan like man, three foot tall hairy that lives in the jungles. Now again, Sumatra, super wild, super rugged, super remote. A couple guys are riding their dirt bikes down one of these jungle roads and hopefully we can get the video here. And this little humanoid creature jumps out in front of the dirt bike

and runs like fast as hell. for like 100 feet before it jumps back in the bush is carrying what looks like a spear. And it's like, no, I swear, I swear, you got to see the video. It's mind-blowing. I'm hoping we'll can find it here. And then, yeah. Go ahead. And then what do you think it was?

I don't know, right. I think it was an orang pendeck? I, well, that's the thing, man. And you, you know, if you say that out loud, you're a tinfoil hat crazy guy, but it's not an orangutan. You know, it's not another known species of primate carrying a wooden spear. Like, it's just not. That's not how they run. So I don't know what it is.

I don't think we can. The only thing you can chalk it up to is either fake or something we don't know about yet. Nothing else. Right. All right. You're listening on iTunes. We're about to review the RN Pendek video for the first time right here. Live.

This is clearly a guy filming on a phone. He's cruising. See it there? Look there. Oh, yeah. Gone. Oh, whoa. Can you wind it back?

That guy is cruising on a moped of some sort. Yeah, I don't think he's got a fun. I think he's got a helmet cam on his GoPro. I think you're right. You know what I mean? GoPro on his helmet cam. But yeah, you'll just see it. It's a flash, but, and could it be a village kid that's like doing something naughty?

Sure, but it sure doesn't see this here. Oh, there we go. Look at that. Nice pause, Will, perfect. The first guy, so the first guy actually wrecked his bike because he almost hit the, or he might have hit it. I don't remember the story anymore. But if you back up, Will, real quick.

And play it again. I don't know. This video has always surprised me. You'll see. He comes around the corner and look up from the crash motorcycle. So go ahead, play it in real time, Will. So there's the guy. He's carrying a little spear.

Yeah. The guys are like, oh, what happened? You crashed? And then the guy shoots out after this thing to figure out what's going on. I don't know. You see the spear in his hand there? Like hanging out the back. It's crazy, man.

It's just wild. And again, this is one of those things that it just like the Flores man, if you described it, you're a psycho, you're a lunatic, you're a nutjob, but what is this? Right. Like, that's pretty weird. Oh, there you go. People on the island have been talking about this thing for a hundred years as far as written history. And it is, we have seen firsthand in really, really remote places, you know, you go there and there's a scientist there that we're going to meet that's been there for 10. years and they're like, no one else has come here in the 10 years I've been here to study.

Exactly. Because just like animals taking human pathways, scientists don't love going to places that are really hard to get to. Nope. To spend 10 years studying a new type of, you know, a new species of something. That's a lot of work. Correct. And not to mention, oh, he's clearly got a spear, by the way.

Yeah, clearly you can see the spear there. God bless YouTube for quarter speed play, slow-mo. And not to mention, like, if you're, you know, like there's that, there's that place where the guy went to try and, you know, that uncontacted tribe where the missionary went and he got iced and there, we know there's uncontacted tribes in the Amazon. We've seen him from the air. You know, like, if you're one of these tribes, you don't want to interact with big, scary people on their big noise machines, right? Like, and you can imagine whether this is like some crazy person or an orang Pendek or just, you know, a village kid that isn't used to humans. human beings, you don't want to interact with what's going on. There's this crazy, loud thing, this motorcycle and these people zooming at you. It's got to be terrifying if you don't know what that is. Yeah. How tall is that grass there, you think, right there?

Tall. It's like six foot grass, I'm sure. Okay. All right. Yeah, I was just trying to get a reference for how tall the little guy was, you think. We should have, we talked about it on the BTG podcast, but Johnny Inches for his Travel Channel International show. he's done for years. He has an amazing story where they went to some village, I think it was an

Indo, and it was this little village and there was this, you know, this witch that lived in the woods that would come into the village at night and stuff like that. And they went and they spent a couple weeks looking around and they literally found an old schizophrenic woman who was living in the jungle and they found like cans of like canned goods, like I don't know, you know, whatever. were like 25, 30 years old that she had, like, in her little domicile hut that she had built. And she was just this, like, exiled schizophrenic woman. And they're like, wow, you literally have a witch that lives in the woods. Yeah, yeah, like we found her.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a much cooler story. Maybe we'll have them on some time. Did you guys ever hear about the Japanese World War II survivor from Guam? No. No, no, maybe. This story blows my mind. So during World War II, there was, you know, so Guam was one of those territories where the U.S. and Japan would fight over it constantly, right?

Japan would fly over it, the U.S. would fly over it, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, this guy was in a dog fight, right? This Japanese soldier, and his plane went down in the high mountains of Guam. Guam's a very mountainous island. It's super cool place. And his plane went down and he survived the crash. And after surviving the crash, he ran into a cave high up in the mountains in Guam. This was in World War II.

Well, sure enough, as soon as World War II, not even as soon as, before World War II ended, the U.S. made it like a major aerial hub, right? And then it became, I think, a hub for Continental or United. So literally, planes have been flying in and out of Guam relentlessly since World War II. Well, this guy, who moved into a cave in the mountains of Guam, thought that the war had continued for 30 years before he left the cave, because he was like the war's going on. So he just lived in isolation

up in the mountains in Guam in this cave is the story I've been told, and I should probably fact check it, for 30 something years or 25 something years, I don't remember exactly, before some hikers basically found him and he was this ancient Japanese man

living in a cave in isolation in the mountains of Guam. It's crazy. Yeah. Imagine that. Yeah, I mean... Imagine being like, yep, the war is still going. I kind of imagine what it's like out there.

I'm just going to wait it out in this cave for 30 or so year. He was probably thrilled. He probably liked it. Yeah, I was going to say. You don't do something for 30 years unless you're like kind of into it. Yeah, he was like, man, I don't have to deal with any of that noise going on. Yeah, I don't have to talk to any

fucking people, be barked orders at, you know, fucking just. Yeah, as long as he found a way to like ferment some sort of jungle fruit so that he could have some booze on a Friday night and he was good. I'm sure. Probably made some animal friends out there. All right. So,

I have an idea for a new game. Okay. I'm up for it. I love your new games. I was waiting for us to go, ooh, a game. There you go, thanks. All right. So people love science.

They love the nature. They love the wildlife. They love the cryptids. But they also love when we occasionally get into the banal trappings of human life. True. And talk about food. People love fruit. Fruit, fruit, cereals, death row meals.

Nobody sent me a box yet. I stand by my statement from that podcast. The first Brosner to send me a box of fruit brute gets to go on an expedition. So just saying. If someone sends you a box of fruit bird and not me, I'll kill myself on the air. Oh, my God. Even more is that. Yeah, exactly.

All right. So I think this is a fun one. It's very polarizing. It's very topical. It's not a snake draft. It's not about Royale. That's still to come. What you're going to do is each of us are going to list your top three ice cream flavors.

You don't have to get into a big thing on each one. We can interject. Top three ice cream flavors. And then the one that is dead fucking last, like the worst ice cream. The one that's like embarrassing. Yep. Got it. Got it.

So, because people, you know, ice cream is very polarizing. I'm happy to go first here since is my idea. No, I don't think so. I'll be going. first. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. Gap's like, guys, guys, this is my domain. We're talking food. Like, time for me to step in and take charge.

Patrick's been thinking about this for a week. That's the only reason I don't want him going first. He's already got his selections picked days ago. But that said, I'm not going to be taking anything crazy off the table because legitimately I'm a favorite ice cream.

We can overlap, just your honest list. Yeah, it's just what you like. Yeah. Are we doing so are we doing a snake draft? He's going to lose it. Go ahead. He's going to lose it. What did you say?

No snake draft. He already said no snake draft. You son of a bitch. Oh, I thought you said snake draft. I missed that one tiny word. That's only two letters when you mumbled it out of your fucking asshole. All right. Good God.

So my first pick is just straight up vanilla, dude. Vanilla is fucking delicious. And I don't know why it gets such a bad rap. It's delicious. I love how they. name things vanilla. Like that's so vanilla. No, vanilla's delicious.

What are you saying? It's a delicious, tasty treat. Okay. So is that your number one? It's in my three that I'm picking. Are we doing these ranked? Why don't you explain that? For us and I will rank ours because we know how to do a podcast after 51 weeks.

But anyway, vanilla. What else do you have? So my first pick is vanilla. And then my second pick is legitimately strawberry. Very simple man. Just taking the Apollitan and call it a day, dumb me. Yeah, seriously, let me guess. Chocolate for your number three?

No, no, I'm talking, I'm not talking fucking briars, dude. I'm talking Tillamook fucking strawberry, chunks of strawberry in the ice cream, not just strawberry flavoring. It needs to have the actual fruit in it. Delicious. Okay, what's three? And out of those two, I'm going to say that strawberry is number one and the vanilla is number two. and my final pick is a delicious fucking classic.

Keep in mind, I'm from Chicago, the Midwest. I'm a simple man. My third and final pick is chocolate chick, chip cookie dough. That's right. That's nice. And by the way, if you want to turn that into a Neapolitan and send it to Pat, melted, and shitty, I'd be happy to... Okay, and then what's your dead fucking last?

Oh, my God. Here is my dead last, and I will fist-fight anybody to the death when they inevitably want to argue about this. Yep. Fucking mint chocolate chip. Yes. It's disgusting. Why do I want fucking toothpaste-flavored ice cream?

Did all three of us have that as our dead fucking last? I did too. No, 100%. It tastes like toothpaste. It's so popular, too. I thought it was going to get smashed for that. It's garbage. Oh, my God.

Who eats it? Terrible. It's fucking mouthwash. Yeah, exactly. It's frozen toothpaste. Don't put that, don't call that dessert. It's disgusting. No, and yet I think it might be the most popular.

It's crazy. It's so popular, dude. I got to have mint chip. Shut up. Yeah, get out. Garbage. So that's also my dead last. Retep, we overlapped on two.

So dead last for me is mint chocolate chip. Number three, I'm going very plain, but I'll explain it. Just chocolate. A good chocolate ice cream, and here's what you do. You put caramel on it. Because always put caramel on vanilla ice cream. Caramel and chocolate is mind-blowing. Number two for me, we also overlap chocolate chip.

Or, sorry, cookie dough, ice cream. It's unbelievable. The texture of the ice cream with the little balls of, I think they're made of racquet ball material are so good. It's fun on the teeth. Number one, and it's not even close. Need a shirt. And anyone who says,

though, that's what my grandma eats, you dumb. Don't say rum raisin. Don't say rum raisin. Oh, my God. Are you out of your fucking mind? Rum raising is complex. Nobody under the, no, nobody under the age of 85 has ever tasted rum raisin.

Except for you. Dude, that combination, you get that spice from the rum, you get the butteriness of whatever the mystery ingredient is, and the raisin. Rum raisin. I was made fun of it wild. on Santa Cruz Island by Forrest and our entire crew for getting rum raisin at the ice cream shop. It is amazing.

And then dead last mint chocolate chip. I speculate if I have ever tasted rum raisin, that would be my least favorite, my worst pick. Forrest. Place my mint chocolate. Go ahead, Forrest. Pick bubble gum as your top favorite. No, God, no. That was a huge mistake. I also was made fun of for ordering that.

I ordered rum raisin in Galapagos. Forrest got a scoop of bubble gum. Didn't eat it. Couldn't eat it. Couldn't be more fucking opposite. Yeah. No, okay. Yeah.

So I'm going to go third, second, first. Hands down, I don't know if you guys have had this before. My number three is the brownie core ice cream that they're selling at the moment. It's got like the goofy chocolate Ben and Jerry's brownie core. Like, I'm not even that big into brownies, but whatever that chocolate lava goop that doesn't freeze in the middle of that ice cream is in the middle of chocolate ice cream, it's a treat. If you get the core, it's a brand. It's like Ben and Jerry's core, and it's just got a molten center of caramel or brownie. They're very good at making ice cream.

Good God. Yes. Oh, yeah. Ben and Jerry, dude. So that's a new find on my end that I'm pretty obsessed with. So number two, which was a tough. It was a tough one for me. A lot of overlap.

It sounds like we're a couple of vanilla guys, all three of us. But cookie dough, chocolate chip cookie dough. I love it. I mean, you've got the vanilla ice cream, which I do love, but then you get these fantastic bites of cookie dough. By the way, I would throw out all three of these flavors and just eat a tube of cookie dough over any of this because I love cookie dough. Yeah.

Dude, my girlfriend came home from Costco with, I don't even, like three gallon. I don't know how big it was. It was a giant gallon bucket thing of cookie dough. And I was like, what is this? Yeah, I've seen them too. And like, you know, it's very dangerous because you guys polish it all. pull it out. No, of course not, but I would love to. You really, you think that you could, but you can only eat so much before you want to kill yourself. How many raw eggs are you consuming in

that? You can have like four bites in one sitting. That's it. All right. Yes, so love me some chocolate chip cookie dough. It's so good. Love cookie dough in general. Number one, pretty weird one. If we got any brosters from down under, I had this. I've been to New Zealand twice, and it's the first thing I do when I get off the plane, even if it's 7.30 in the morning, it is getting pokey, pokey ice cream. It is like, I've heard of it. It's so good. You know, the inside of, you know, those like honey crisp candies, you know, it's a good little, are to pull up a picture of poking poking.

What a weirdo. He knew, he knew going in. It's like honeycomb, I don't even know what it is. Bit of honey is the most disgusting candy in the world, by the way. I think it's like honeycomb ice cream. It's so good. Hoki pokey ice cream. That's my number one, hands down.

And we've... Of course, I'm upset with your description of claiming it tastes like bit of honey because bit of honey is disgusting. I don't know what it doesn't taste that. That's what you just said that little honey candy. The honeycomb, like, crunchy candy stuff surrounded by chocolate. Yeah, bit of honey. It's disgusting. And so are you.

It's not. I like this ice cream, though. Poki pokey ice cream. Oh my God. It's so good. Is this available in the U.S.? We should find out because I, man, I will order some tonight off Amazon. All of our Australian boasters are going to ship you.

It's described as this. This is according to its Wikipedia. Hoki Poki is a flavor of ice cream in New Zealand, consisting of plain vanilla ice cream with small solid lumps of honeycomb toffee. Oh, yeah. That's... That sounds. That's good.

Nice. For those not watching, Forrest is currently smiling like a donut. And then, yeah, dead last zero question. If you argue with this, probably just unsubscribe from this channel straight away. Mint, chocolate chip. It's just going to be half of people. I love how the only call to action that Forrest gets is calling people stupid and telling them to unsubscribe. Please don't.

It's a different approach. It's not the number one marketing approach out there. It's a unique. I like it. I like everybody's picks, actually, for once in life. It wasn't like, remember when you picked gushers as your Easter basket candy? It's not even a candy. It's a lunch item.

No good. A lunch item. In the Midwest. They call it fruit. You've had some real. We should do it daily with just Forrest's bad picks that he's made. Just cut it together. Well, let us know, by the way, in the comments what you think is the best and the absolute worst gutter trash ice cream.

I have a feeling a lot of people love mint chip, man. Yeah, we're probably upset. Oh, yeah. We're going to get crushed in the comments, guaranteed. But there's going to be a lot of people who fervidly agree with us as well. So I'm excited to see it. Fervently is the word. Bitch, I'm from the Midwest.

I'm a simple man. I just said it. Fuck off with your grammar and your language. Hey, angry people. Big trash. I think. No. Battle Royale.

Yes. Oh, yeah. Everybody's favorite time. What did he got for us? He said you got one. Yep, yep. I was thinking of it as we were doing this podcast. This podcast took a weird turn.

We went, you know, we were going down science. We took a left on cryptid. We rounded it out by going back to Topical and then talking ice cream. So it's been a hell of a drive. But I'm thinking tonight, given the spirit of the podcast, we are each going to go, Snake Draft for TEP. I'll explain how that works. We are going to create our own cryptid, right?

What creature pulling from nature? What head does it have? What body does it have? What special powers does it have? However you want to structure it. No holds bar. You can do anything you like with. that create the perfect cryptid monster,

that would be rumored in folklore and legend, but stay hidden from humanity due to its abilities. I like it. So any three sort of qualities from the animal kingdom? Anything at all. Anything you like. It can live in the water. It can fly.

I don't care what it is. It can be anything. Go nuts with it. I like it. Who's going first? Oh, my God. I was just, I was Googling while you were talking and a video started playing, and it was playing dramatic music as you were explaining it. I was like, is will playing sound effects?

What the fuck is going on? That's funny. All right. On that note, Retep, why don't you go first? This is a snap graph, meaning you get one pick to start us off. All right. And so our animals, these have to be abilities that actual animals in the natural world have. We can't go buck wild, right?

Yeah. It's grounded in reality, but we're creating the perfect cryptid. It'll stay hidden from humanity. Okay. Well, if we're talking about things hiding, I'm going to pick one of my favorite cephalopods other than my favorite cephalopod, the cuttlefish. Because the cuttlefish fucking literally spends its entire life

basically defending against being found. It can turn into, it can encase itself in shells and armor and blend in with the background essentially looking invisible. Dude, imagine you're coming up to my animal, and it just cloaks itself with the background. I went already. We can end the podcast. I had the same pick. It's very good.

So just to be clear, your pick, though, because you didn't clarify. The cuttlefish. Yes, I get. It's a cuttlefish. But it is the body of a cuttlefish or the powers of a cuttlefish? Yeah, what does it have? What does it look like? It has the powers.

The powers of a cuttlefish, meaning it can be invisible. It can cloak itself. It can turn itself into a rock-looking shell. Got it. And. Patrick, you go next. The camouflage ability of a cuttlefish. That's good.

Okay. So the next I'm going to take this, and I'm going to take this off the table so that no one else can fuck with this. I'm going to take amphibiousness. I'm going to take the fact that this animal can live in water or on the land. It's amphibious in nature, which is going to make it mysterious because there will be sightings of it. in the water, and there will be sightings of it on land, which is going to make it all the more cryptic. And people are going to be like, it's not real, totally. You say it's in the water, you say it's on land.

I like that. Exactly. So I'm going to take that it's an amphibian. Okay. For us, you're up for two. Yep, that's good. I like that a lot. Okay.

I thought of this on the spot. I didn't, however, come up with any thoughts as I did it. So this is completely on the fly. But I think my first pick, so I'm going to go for a flying creature. I have a bit of a thing with dragons. Yeah, I've talked about this before. They're across all cultures, blah, blah, blah. So I'm going to go with a large winged creature.

But the thing that I'm picking to tie it into nature is the bones of a bird. So for those that don't know this, bird bones are hollow, which means they very, very rarely fossilize. So if a bird dies, basically the bones kind of disintegrate. and disappear. So no matter what, this population of this creature, when they die, as long as a couple scavengers get to them, there's no fossil evidence, there's no remaining bones, they just kind of shred and disappear. So I'm going to start with the bones. Good pick, very sciencey. Yeah, very sciency. Bones of a bird, bones of a bird. But this animal, you know, because the culture we live in is so obsessed with Bigfoot and the fact that it's not real,

I want to make my bird bone creature bipedal. So it's bird-bone. bone, but I'm going to basically turn these bird bones into an orangutan. You know, imagine this big, long-armed, hairy orangutan that has these super light bird bones. So we've got, you know, basically going towards like a Bigfoot thing, but there will be a twist when it comes back to me. Okay. Okay. All right. I like that.

I'm going to go for my second pick. It's an amphibian, lives in the water, and on the land. And it also has the intelligent chromatophores of a chameleon. Very nice. Very nice. So this thing can change color very quickly. It doesn't have to think about it. Its skin has its own neurons or something.

I don't know exactly how they work for us does. But it can change color and texture like a chameleon. Wait, they can't change texture, can they? A little bit, actually. Well, I already picked that superpower, so you can't have that. No, you went Cuddlefish You went Cuddlefish, boy No, they can't change texture, that's bullshit

Stop kissing his ass for us You're not on... No, very angry to know. Yeah, you picked Cuddlefish. I'm not angry, I've been very... I'm smarter than you. Millions don't change texture. No, okay, well, color and yes,

that's my... That's my... That's an amphibian that can change color to match its background. Very hard to find, very hard to find. Now, you're up for two, Peter. Okay, my first pick. Is an animal that, yes, my friends, is immortal. It is a jellyfish that when it is physically attacked,

it can revert to its polyp stage and then regenerate all of its cells. And scientists believe, because it can do that, it is virtually immortal and never dies. It's called the Turotopus Dorni, whatever. And it is my superpower. Yeah, of course I Google. it. I mean, you guys are, you're stealing my cuddlfish abilities, Pat.

You guys are glad-handing over there. And so I will have an immortal cuttlefish that can hide itself and become invisible and change texture.

And then finally, because in the same list that I looked up, there is an animal that basically sprays gas, a cloud hydrogen cyanide, the dragon millipede, will be my final

feature of my animal. But what does it look like, Peter? You haven't given us, like, what does this thing look like? It looks like the millipede, obviously. Okay, obviously. All right, so you... And sprays gas. You've got a millipede that sprays gas that has the immortality of a jellyfish, but the camouflage of a cuttlefish.

Good luck. Good luck. Good luck fighting that. I could find one of these under a log in my backyard tomorrow. This is not a good cryptic. Bitch, are you out of your fucking mind? Yes. Are you kidding me? This is the best creation that has ever been created on this podcast in 51 motherfucking weeks.

Okay. All right. All right. Pat, what else you got? Cool, cool, cool. All right. So here's where mine gets to be the most famous cryptid in the history of the world. Because we already know that it can live in the water,

but also the land. Right. When this is in the water and the swamp, you know, it's going to be weird. But when you see this thing on land just before it changes color to match the background, you're going to be like, what did I just see on land?

It has the body and the head and the whole thing of a sperm whale. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's out there. So you're trekking through the jungle. You're in the Louisiana in a swamp. You've got your binoculars. You're on a bird watching tour.

And you are just thinking, I'm going to see a pretty cool pilliated woodpecker. And the next thing you know, you see a 50 foot long sperm whale. Hang it out just in the woods. And then all of a sudden, it turns

the same color as it's... Do you know how long it takes for a chameleon to change color? Do you know how long it would take for that size of an animal to change color with a chameleon's ability? It would take years, mate. Terrible pick. Right, because it goes

one cell at a time, dope. It's not like it blends in with the sky or the air or its background. It has to be touching whatever it turns to color of. It's not flying. Well, your thing will be discovered and killed immediately

by anyone who finds it. All right. Which many millions will. So my creature is neither a millipede nor a sperm whale. This is an orangutan type creature, the body of an orangutan. with hollow bird bones.

But the kicker here, something that if you Google it, and Will, I think Will, to help us out, if you Google this animal in real life, you don't even believe it's real, it's going to have the head and wait for it, borrowing abilities of the star-nosed mall.

So you're going to have this big, orange primate-like creature with hollow bones that's going to have this crazy, like alien face and head that just pops out of the ground, looks around, and then just dives back into the ground

and disappears again. that thing on an orangutang body with bones that disintegrate when they die underground. That is my cryptid. What a mess. Okay. I mean, it's definitely, it's funny because I actually was thinking about that, which is crazy because it's, I mean, why the fuck would I ever think of something you thought of? Just because it looks so goddamn ridiculous.

What does this thing do for us? I mean, look at its fucking head. I want to know more about it. just quickly. Why is its head like that? Yeah, why would the star nose mole have a star nose? It uses those tendrils to feel for earthworms in its completely pitch black environment. So it's got, it's a special, like, organ that's like a feeler. And obviously, it has these massive oversized claws for borrowing and tunneling.

And then it uses its little feelers to basically sniff out and feel out earthworms that it munches on. So, so, Forrest, you usually do the rundown. Do you mind if I do it this time? Please, yeah, please. Okay. I love it. You're prepared to be interrupted, you smug prick. Please, please vote in the comments, whether you're on iTunes, YouTube, whatever you're listening on.

Let us know who won this one. It's a two-way race, I would say. So do you want, do you want, do you want, between me and myself? Do you want a sperm whale body that can live on land or in the water? It's literally just a sperm whale. It also has intelligent chromatophores so it can blend in with its background. Do you want over much, much time, over years. That's not true.

That's not how it works. Do you want a creature that looks like an orangutan but can quickly get away by burrowing into the earth with the burrowing abilities of a star-nosed mole? Well, please, when he gets into mind, please pull up what my millipede looks like. So this idiot understands why I picked it. With the burrowing abilities of a star-nosed mall, but also has hollow bones of a bird so that it cannot be, no remains will ever be recovered. That's right. Or would you like something that looks like a millipede that can shoot gas out of the butt? No, no, it's not a millipede.

It looks like a dragon millipede. It doesn't look like a regular millipede. It looks like a dragon milipede. Also, it's giant. It's as big as your sperm whale. You can't. That's a fourth thing. Your sperm whale is ridiculous.

You picked a sperm whale that does nothing other than be large. Yeah, that's right. There's my dragon millipede. Looks nothing like what you're trying to paint a picture of. Or would you like Peter's insects that can change colors. Never going to be found, going to be discussed. It's also never going to be encrypted. If it sprays poison, that's a bug.

When it sprays poison into your asshole, you idiot. They sprayed out of their own asshole, not into yours. So, well, I'm going to train all of them worldwide to come to your house and spray poison gas into your ass. Liam Tobin is our editor, everybody. He's amazing. He's been editing our podcast and daily videos for the past several months. now at this point. Yeah.

And about time, we give him a shout because he's behind the scenes. Of course, producer Will is back there. You see our ugly faces every week, so you know who we are. If you want to watch the podcast, go to the Wild Times Podcast. com forward slash info to find the YouTube link. And all the other links are there, too. The Spotify, the iTunes, the merch link. Oh, yeah, that's right.

We're wearing them today. my spirit animal looks identical to me. Forest has the tank top on. Pat was told many days ago to wear the merch and reminded today still chose. Pat, let's see what shirt you have on. Stand up, mate. No, I'm not saying up.

It's just a shirt. Mine's in the laundry because I... Now, take it off. Shut your mouth and take your shirt off. Okay. So anyways, Pat decided not to wear the merch. Brostner's, you're better than Pat. Be better than Pat.

Be better. We have a shirt. Support us. Support us. We'll keep doing it. In-person ones, I mean, we're going to try next week. We're saying for the one-year anniversary. We're going to try for next week all in the same room.

Next week. The video might be utter trash, but the audio is going to be great. We're going to have fun. That's for sure. Oh, yeah. And vote on the Battle Royale that I won and your favorite ice cream, which I also won. Good night, everybody. Good night.