Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #52 LIVE – The One Year Anniversary!

Episode Date: April 5, 2021

Join us for the 1 year anniversary LIVE episode of The Wild Times! Join the discord: https://discord.com/invite/zzTxnrHnS8 More @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com  

Welcome back to the Wild Times, the greatest show in the world, according to all three listeners that we have. Oh, Brostners, welcome. This is the Wild Times. Episode number 54. It is the one-year anniversary of when we started this ridiculous show. We're very excited to be here. We're going live tonight because we did plan on doing it in person, but it didn't work out for various reasons that we will discuss on the pod tonight. but if you don't know me, I'm your not so humble host, Forskalante, the broologist. Join by me is Retepe, who wears the same hat, every pod, no matter what,

don't understand why, who is the professor, PhD podcast extraordinaire. What's up, Repet? Hey, guys, people love this hat, first of all. It says sugar in Spanish. Thank you. People love this painting right here. I've added a new one.

We can talk about that later. Pat, you look terrible today. Forest, you have a potato head. Thanks. Okay. Thanks. Patrick, how are you? He's getting off to a fiery start.

He's drinking mango claws and all fired out. I don't even know what this is. Feverishly shoveling sea salt and vinegar almonds into my face. So now I have almond skins all over my teeth. It's a bad idea to do it right before a pot. I can smell you from here. You smell gross.

We've got a bunch of people in the YouTube, a bunch of the regulars. Hey, everybody. So cool that you guys came to listen to our bullshit. Yeah, you guys do do this for some unknown reasons. Very weird. Don't understand why. What are you talking about unknown reason? We're not that funny.

It's my charisma. It's your looks for us. And Pat, I don't really know why they want you here. Okay. Keep it rolling. What do you guys sipping? I just poured myself a nice 5.15 p.m. house pour of ice cold

Cabernet Sauvignon, which is controversial. Ice cold? What's the matter with you? It is very common. It is very common. Yeah. Mate, nobody in their right mind

does that. Is that just a to be cool thing? Yes. When I'm home alone, with no one watching, I make my red wine. There's thousands of people watching, mate.

That's true. Turn your smugness down a little bit. That's funny. I, uh, I'm, drinking a, not a white claw, but something similar. I forgot what kind of sparkling juice claw thing it was, but I poured it in a glass because it sat open on my desk for a while,

and I thought it would look classier if I was in a glass with it. Oh, I thought you had a G&T going. I should have, but I ran out of time to pour one, so I just copped out and went for a can drink. Peter, what are you drinking? I don't know, man. I was at the store and I was trying to get like white club, but they only had the 12 or, and it was $20. I was like, I'm not spending $20. I'm drinking six of these. So I got these Vizzy Hard Seltres. I don't know what this is. It's fine. I'll probably have heartburn and shit myself later, but cheers,

mates. Good for you. Cheers. For you. By the way, a lot of people in the YouTube saying that my camera quality is by far the best tonight. That's a first. I'm looking at it. It is dog shit. It looks like you smeared Vaseline on the lens of whatever Vizio brand laptop

you have. Better? He is a PC guy. It's heinous. Yeah, it's not good. You're supposed to be the technical wizard. What can I do about the terrible internet in Recita? I wish. I wish tonight that I had your garbage stream quality, because I'm in poor form today.

I drank an entire boot last night of beer, which was seven beers poured into one large shoe. Did you finish that thing? I saw the video. You finished that? Finished it in about 30 minutes, which, you know, like I was trying to do it in a chug, and that just didn't happen. but I took the whole thing down in about 30 minutes and then had to be driven home like a child. But yeah, there's no way in hell. That was just for show.

There's no way you chugged seven beers. You can't handle two. Ask my entire rugby team that bought it for me and they will validate that I went through the whole boot. It was awful. I feel very bloated and puffy and slow today. I'm not enjoying any part of my day. You guys. You look like all of those things too.

Except this part and that drink's going to make you feel nice. And all the brosters listening are the highlight of my day. You guys are making me feel better. Cheers. Well, it sounds like they're all getting boozy too. Lots of people talking about what they're drinking. This is a proper YouTube live. I love that you guys are playing along.

We haven't even mentioned it yet, I don't think, but it's been a year. This is episode 52. Just shut up, Pat. We haven't talked about it enough. This has been one year We have this giant community of Brosner's, the Wild Bunch, whatever you want to call yourselves.

I can't believe that I've been able to put up with both of your bullshit nonsense for 52 weeks in a row. Brosner's, you're the only thing that make this worthwhile. These guys are okay, but they do a lot of glad-handing

and ass-kissing to one another while making fun of me. You guys are the only ones that like me and I like that. So, cheers to one-year mates. Thank you for fucking joining us for this. I mean, you cannot fucking beat it. You know what, given that this is the one-year anniversary,

I was just going to say, why don't we kick it off? There's some good Brosner DMs floating around. Yes, let's do it. The one that I want to start with, I don't know if he, she, they, is listening. But at Hess Joe 1 says, I did it. I have found the last one. Gentlemen and Retep,

which is well done. I have just procured the last known box of Brute Fruit Fruit. Not Fruit, he wrote Brut Fruit Fruit in a hard one battle on eBay. Now I don't have it in my hands yet, but it's supposed to be one of the 2013

Special Edition Halloween run. I just need to know how to get this bad boy into Forrest's hands and what I need to pack for the expedition. I'm sweating bullets over here, Hess. Did you really get a box of fruit, brute? If so, I'm going to hold up my end of the bargain. You're going to have to come out either to California

and do something fun with us or go on a little trip. Because I said it. I put it up there. I got to know if this is real. We need proof. I don't know how you're going to share it. I want to see this box of brute fruit fruit. Joel Hess is on the chat.

So he is in the chat. He's probably thrilled that you're talking about his fruit fruit. If Forest gets the fruit fruit, route and I don't. It's going to be a problem. But I'll tell you what's going to happen. I'm just going to steal it. Yeah. No, I'm just going to steal it next time I'm at your place. Dude, we'll get some whole milk. We'll put on some Saturday morning cartoons and sit down together and just watch it. Eat it with home milk. I'm willing to take the food poisoning to eat a seven, eight-year-old box of cereal. For sure. If it's fruit brew. Dude, what a treat. Joe has for the

win. Yeah, that's a hell of a call. Just want to give a shout-outs. One of the Brosner's just nicknamed him himself the bro-anthologist or something like that boronthologist and also we have a listener from sweden it's 2.30 a.m. Axel listening. It's going to stay up late for this YouTube live. Oh yeah. All right. Let's get into a little wildlife for those who are going to listen to this on iTunes. Forrest, favorite story of this week, the 52nd week of our podcast, the one-year anniversary. What you got me? Question. Hmm. Hmm. Favorite story. There's a few. There's a few. good weeks. Sorry, good weeks. There's a few good stories. Number one for me this week,

and I've got a very specific reason why, is the New York Times put out an article called the Ocean's youngest monsters are ready for their glamour shots. And what it is is a collection of incredible fish larvae photography. And W.T. Willie's going to pull up some pictures here. And it shows some relatively common, some less common fish, awesome looking fish, that are in their larval state, right? So for those that don't know, when a fish, for most fish in the ocean, they're pelagic spawners,

meaning they have the, you know, their offspring just drifts out into the ocean, and they go kind of like a, imagine an egg turning into a tadpole, turning into a frog. Well, these fish kind of do that, right? They go out into the ocean currents, and they have these incredible larval stages.

Now, the one you're looking at, the W.T. Willie just pulled up is, juvenile lion fish, an invasive species from the Caribbean. Everybody kind of knows about them. They're from the Indian Ocean originally. Look at it. I mean, it's absolutely stunning. So I started to look at this article, right?

And I'm getting to why this is my favorite one. And there's some pictures that are mind-blowing. W-T, do me a favor. Pull up the hairy goosefish larva, the picture that came out of Hawaii. So another beautiful, beautiful fish picture, this thing called this hairy goose fish. It's got the craziest-looking larva. Look at that. That's a fish.

guys. What? Unbelievable. It's a great beard. Hey, what are those things for us? I mean, it's not hair. No, it's, I actually don't know, to be quite honest. I mean, it's some kind of appendages.

It's like a tentacle-like appendage. You know, the hairy goosefish as an adult. Will can maybe pull up a picture of an adult one if he's not typing too furiously. They do have, like, you know, weird kind of appendages, and they look very odd. But that's insane. I mean, that looks like an old guy's beard. Gandalf, that's mental. And there's all kinds, there's ribbon fish that were pictured off of Palm Beach and just these crazy, crazy looking larval fish versions.

But the reason that this story was my favorite one is, Will, if you're in the New York Times article before you switch screen, go up and to the left. And don't say what the name of the fish is. I'm just going to let you guys look at it. It's got the long phalanjies kind of looks like hair. Can you pull that pickup, Will? John Devinport says it looks like his scrotum. Well, we wait for Will. Go to the left of the one.

Billy Weigle said in the chat that the hairy goose fish looks like whatever's under Peter's hat. Yes, very accurate, indeed. His toupee. It's a wig, mate. Get it right. This little animal right here is why it's my favorite article of the week. You guys take it? to look at that? Not as impressive as the other two fish, but very cool. Wouldn't you agree?

No, it's pretty impressive. It looks like an ethereal spirit animal of some type. Now, let me. I'm very fervent about the way I speak. Keep your mouse show. So, all right, if you could come up with the most ridiculous name for a fish and this was its larval form, what would you call it? And call it an angel fish. God, that's lame. I would literally, the name of the fish would be, it would just, the word would be three o's. It would be called the, ooh fish, because it looks like that's what it's saying. That's good.

Well, the actual name of this fish is, Will, can you scroll down, a bony-eared ass fish. That is the name of this fish. And when I saw that, I lost my shit. I literally start spat my drink out, because I know about a lot of fish. And I have never heard of a bony-eared. eared ass fish. And this is a real thing. Somebody named this fish. That's not it. That was my nickname in grade school. Yeah. That is a bony-eared ass fish. And I was just so stoked to find that and know that was there. Will, don't worry, man. You're good. I just, I was going to show the name because it had

the scientific name. But I just couldn't believe it. I was blown away. I went down a whole rabbit hole of looking at bony-eared ass fish online. By the way, don't type that into porn hub. And it was It was wild. So yeah, that was my favorite. That was my favorite find of the week for sure. So for those of you who only listen, Retep behind him has two paintings that look like they were quite possibly done by toddlers who were smearing paint around with their hands.

One of them, I believe, is supposed to be a tree. It looks very much like a stock of broccoli. Have you ever seen a stock of broccoli growing like a tree out of a grassy knoll with a large, thick brown stem. I have it, and I am also not seeing that in your painting. But people are bidding for it. Justin McCrae currently has the leading bid, $506 for the broccoli painting. I was talking to some of the brochures.

They were calling it the broccoli painting, FYI. I was talking to some of the brocesters in the Discord earlier. I told him I just want one meager Bitcoin for the painting. Just one, just one tiny little Bitcoin, and I'll sell it to you. But only the digital version as an NFT. I'll keep the original, thanks. Can someone, let's get on a tangent here for a second. Can we?

NFTs? Yeah. What the fuck are they? What is a tangent? What is an NFT? I don't know what this is. It's like all over the internet at the moment. It's like a painting or something, but it's online.

That's what I'm saying. I know Patrick doesn't know what it is because he doesn't know how to do email yet. So what is an NFT or T. From my understanding, all I know about NFTs is that. Banksy did made a painting and then sold it as an NFT, which is like a digital version of it, like the original digital version that's on some kind of a blockchain so it's logged so you can prove that you own this. And then he burned the physical copy so that I guess that was all that existed. So from my understanding, you can like I could sell this this right here.

I could keep it but sell somebody like the sell somebody the digital first rights. or some shit like that. Here's an easy way to describe it. NFT stands for non-fundible token. It utilizes blockchain technology, the same technology that all of the cryptocurrencies use, right? But what it is is it's a non, it's an asset that only exists digitally.

So this is huge in sports trading cards. And sports trading cards, there's been a huge boom in the market. So all my fucking stupid cardboard baseball cards that I've been carding from place to place since I was a kid, are worthless. But they're selling, so an example would be like a Kevin Durant, you know, shooting a three-pointer. Yeah.

And there's only a hundred of them, which is part of the blockchain, so there could never be more than 100. And people are paying $50,000 to essentially have a GIF. What's why? Exactly. Why can't you just right-click, save to desktop? I mean, isn't that what you do? Don't you just right-click save to desktop, and then it's yours?

Like, that's how it's- It's like a currency. I don't care what it is. want to get in on this fucking scam because people are making millions. All right? I don't care. This is the thing. I don't understand how anything works, but I want to make money off of it.

So Broisner's, let us know how we can, I don't know, is it a scam? Is it real? I want to do it. But guys, somebody suggested something in the chat. That is pretty amazing. Okay. The fruit brook box that he bought on eBay could be sold for billions of Bitcoin. as an NFT.

I think we should do it. It's a good, poop-pa. It's a good call. But we have the proof. There was like nine words in that sentence that hurt my brain. Like,

there was just so many things. Wow. It was a segue. Shut up for us. We have the proof. That is. Look at that. A proof box.

So boss, boss Delphineas in the chat, who might be a new brosner, says NFTs use way too much energy and are super duper bad for the environment. You really shouldn't use them. I guess because the way that blockchain stuff happens,

it takes a ton of electricity to generate the code is what I'm assuming he's talking about. Not something I thought about, but interesting point. I don't, I'm so confused by all of it. But let's talk fruit group for a second. Hey, Joe Hess, if you really got that man, which it sure looks like you did, congrats. Because I'm not kidding. You're coming to do something with Patrick Retepp and I.

If you know what he means. Dude, Broin Roberts says he sent it to you on Instagram. he's got an original box. Not the reprint. I'm so wild. Let's just start an empire. Let's go, let's go like AMC,

you know, what game stop on this. Let's get fruit, root back. You guys can all go on trips. I agree. I have to, I keep pinning things

because it's so funny. KH. Outdoors wants to know a forest aged 30 years this week. And man, I agree. Does it look that way? Did you die your hair gray?

Dude, I, I, I've been on a bender. Like, I'm not. kidding, man. I went out Tuesday night. It was my birthday on Wednesday. I went out Tuesday night with the boys, the rugby team. Wednesday, we went to the lake all day, played hooky,

destroyed my phone, drank a case of white claw. Yesterday, I played rugby and was like, all right, I'm getting back into it, like running, going to sweat it all out. Then they made me chug a boot. I've just been on like a bender. Like, I've, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. I'm sure I look like you've put on a bender. I do. I can see myself. Like, you know how we were saying people want to get plastic surgery once they watch themselves on Zoom. I just want to fix all of this right now. Like if there's, like, give me a face swap because this is a mess. What's going on to do that?

You know how you can fix it? It's very easy. Just chug faster, mate. It's called Hair of the Dog. You're fine. Drink faster. You'll get a little color in your face. I'll need to hear this from you.

I don't know. You mean nothing to me with your comments. I saw how you shotgun to beer. It was clownish. By the way, I made up for it. I made up for it. Oh, yeah. That was clown town.

Just like real. quick aside while we're talking about NFTs and weird collectibles, man. So the house I moved into like four months ago, whatever, when we moved in, so the dude who used to live here is like a big pro skateboarder. And he's friends with, he's been around since he's like 16. He's like in his 40s now, right? So he was the previous dude who lived here. So when we moved in, one of the bathrooms has a toilet seat that has a bunch of like inscriptions and art carved into the toilet seat. And it says neckface. It says neck face. I don't know what neck face is. I thought

that was just a drunk person doing something, right? It's a signature of neck face. So I buy replacement toilet seat. I'm going to pop that one off and toss it in the trash. Sure. That makes sense. Because immediately Christina's like, let's get rid of that fucking weird toilet seat. Of course, yeah.

I bought the wrong kind. It didn't have the right hinge. So then I just am like, fuck it. I've tried. So her friend comes over who's like super into like pop culture, banksy. all this shit, right? She comes out and goes, you realize that you have a fucking neckface toilet seat? I'm like, what are you talking about? Neckface is a like banksy type guy. Oh. Prince. Prince of his art are selling for like between $804,000 for prints. What? Wow. I have an original neckface

toilet seat that I don't know what it's worth. I'm going to figure out of what to sell it. It's worth zero after you sat on it, But yeah. Oh, I've sat on it. I've sprinkled pee on it when I forgot to put it up. I've done all that stuff. Pop a peepee. Yeah, man. Well, I just touched in neck face toilet seat.

Nothing comes up on Google. So that's new. Dude, I think you're getting clown. You're getting clowned, bro. Dude, I don't know. Bro, you're a moron. He was here partying. You got how angry you are, me calling you out on your bullshit.

It's a one of a kind. He's probably never been on a toilet seat. It's not a one of a kind. This is absurd. Nasty neck face. He's got. I want this. You're a legit or more on Retep.

You're an idiot. I quit the podcast because you just said that. You're so angry. I want the certificate of genuity. Is that a word? It is. All right. Let's do a little more wildlife before we go two bonkers.

So on the wildlife train and neck face NFT trains, we're all over the place tonight. Brosner DM, Mitch Patech sent a message. So you guys know that, well, let's just read his message. Love the pod bros. In the spirit of Godzilla versus Kong, which I am very excited to watch, I want to know how many silver-backed gorillas the bros think it would take down a full-grown T-Rex. And I think this is a pretty good question.

This is a fucking great question. Huh. This is a very, very good question. Okay. Now, let me ask you this. Do the math, Patrick. I know how many. Pat's math.

It's Pat's math. I think there's a rule that we need to establish to this game. Okay. Do the guerrillas have time to prepare? Or is it they just come upon each other and it's an instant battle? I'm going to say, it's like, no, this is a good question. This is a good question. I'm going to say in this hypothetical, it is a troop of male guerrillas.

Like it's a bachelor, bachelor pod that are hanging out. And boom, T-Rex in the Congo, go. That's it. Hold on, though. Quick question. How big is a T-Rex forest? Well, I'm not a paleontologist, but it's somewhere in the, like, like 15 to 20 foot range.

You're a smart guy. Fifteen to 20 feet tall. So, okay. Yeah, so here we go. No, actually, in height 12 feet, 40 feet long, estimated to weigh around between 12,000 and 15,000 pounds. Only 12 feet tall? Are you sure about that, Patrick?

According to this. But that might be because they kind of leaned forward, right? They never really stood up. I thought they were like 12,000. No, they're 40 feet long, though, from head to tail. It's big. It's got a big tail. It can whip you with the tail.

How many pounds did you say? 15,000. It's a lot. Yeah, we're talking. Once you said that weight, I'm going 100 minimum gorillas, 100 men, minimum. I'm going to say that would be the least amount of gorillas that could take one out. Nah, that's, that's, nah, come on. Okay.

What do you say, Patrick? Two. Two. Two gorillas. Here's why. Okay. There have been some recent, some recent, I knew you were going to take, bring this up. Yeah.

Yeah, I love this. I wouldn't call it a discovery, but some recent studies that have been done by various nerds that do this type of stuff. They discover that based on the morphology of the T-Rex's bone structure and stuff, right? Yeah. That was probably super slow. So they actually think that a T-Rex was not like the king of the fucking jungle, that it was most likely a scavenger that was capable of scaring other smaller animals a way. from a kill, but it was unlikely that it killed and ran down its own prey because it was so lumbering and slow moving.

Yep. So two gorillas are going to take this slow thing, figure it out, avoid the tail, avoid the jaws, and then rip it limb from fucking limb. There you go. Boom. Can I interject? There's a Brostner just made a very good point that I think we should all be aware of, and that is that a T-Rexex weighs almost as much as Forrest on Extincter Alive.

Thank you, James. Baxter for pointing that out. That's great. I'm going to say... A couple people in the chat saying that what I just said had been debunked, but the thing I watched was very convincing with some very smart people, so I like their theory.

So it wasn't a Wild Times episode. Yeah, they weren't just scavenging jungle potatoes, they're saying. I'm going to say 20, based on very little. Now, let's flip this on its head for a second. How many retaps to take down one gorilla?

I mean, what age? What age, Retap? Retep is in his physical prime, which I'm going to say is like 31, I'm going to guess. 31? Are you mental? My physical prime was like 24. When did you weigh the most? Retep, when did you weigh the most?

No, it's not about weight. It's about pure strength, mate. Retap right now. How many right now, Reteps? How many right now Retebs? How many right now Retebs to sink down one gorilla? 10,000? I got a bad leg.

I would say no joke, probably like 900, because I think they would have to come in waves and the gorilla would just sort of decimate them and it would be like you're hoping that one Retep gets in one shot before he kills that wave. Right, right, right. And so I'd say 700. 700, okay, it went down by 200, okay.

The real question we're going to ask here is how many Reteps does the gorilla have to kill before the gorilla dies of exhaustion? That's the question we really have to have. ourselves here. Listen, mate, if there was a thousand of me, we could coordinate so well that we could, have you ever seen Star Wars?

Again, I'll refer back to where they, where they lasso the legs of the giant robot thing and knock them over. A thousand of me, dude, we would use our brain power to take this T-Rex down, maybe even two or three of me only with a rope. I'm just saying. This is, you know, this is what people tune in for.

They want hard science, and that's what we give them. How many Reteps? One gorilla. These are the facts. Hey, Forrest. So this was in the news. This caught my fancy since you and I have spent some time in the Galapagos together. Oh, I know where this is going. Yep. Coming out of Zagalapagos. So they were at the airport in Santa Cruz Island, right? It's about to connect back through Ecuador, which is how you get to and from the Galapagos. It's a lovely trip. I recommend you spend a couple nights in Ecuador, too, because it's fun stuff. Good glass.

Anyway, so they're scanning a, they're x-raying a suitcase. They see an irregularity. They're like, oh, shit, this is irregular. This might be a bunch of boxes of fruit proof. So they crack it open. And there are a hundred, listen to this, 185 Galapagos tortoises that are wrapped in plastic individually that were being illegally smuggled out of the island.

And they think they were caught naturally. in the wild. Jesus. All but 10 survived and were returned back to the mainland, but someone's fucking smuggling 185 baby galapagos tortoises. I'd have to assume for the illegal pet trade, right? Has to be. Yeah, there's no other, totally.

It absolutely has to be. I'm just looking it up because, so I used to go to these reptile super shows. There's one down in L.A. every year. They're all over the place. And from my memory, at the Reptale Super show, you used to be able to buy a species of Galapagos tortoise. I can't remember which one, about the size of the one in the picture right now that Will pulled up for 2,500 bucks for your pet.

And this was like, this was like 10 years ago when I was still like going to these reptile shows and being like really into what stuff was there. So I imagine now they're easily four or five times that price. So to say the motive is unclear is ridiculous. Obviously this is for the illegal pet trade. Fuck that guy. Hope he rots in hell and jail at the same time. Don't do that. That's bad. Yeah, it's fucking bullshit, man. This is, this is, it's shit like this that makes me kind of just, you know, hate

human beings, including myself and you guys. All time, Brosner Daniel Kuhl says in the chat, uh, if they got caught this time, I wonder how many times they had done it before. Straight up. No, always. You don't, you don't smuggle 185 your first time. Exactly right. Five.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. No, straight up. And I wonder, you know, not to say that anybody's like shitty over there, but you're telling me, you know, if you live in the Galapagos, you serve, you know, beer at a tourist bar and somebody comes by and says, hey, man, you know, help me round up these tortoises and I'll give you $500 and, you know, talk to your uncle who works at the airport and I'll give him $500. Like, I wonder if there's a bit of a racket going on here, you know, more so than just this guy. and it's the one time that, you know, somebody wasn't on the payroll. Somebody else who wasn't, yeah. Exactly.

Because I don't think, I don't think anybody without some kind of inside track goes for 185 tortoises. Like, I'd be terrified to try and take one, you know? That's true. If I was like, oh, I'm going to smuggle a tortoise home, I'd be like, I'd be a mess of nerves going through the airport. Like, you don't, you don't just go for it with 185. Like, yeah, I think there's something else to it.

Forrest, you should Key Griffo says you should go undercover and bust some of these fuckers. You got the balls? Do you think you could do it? I got the balls. Unfortunately, me going undercover is probably a little, little trivia in this time.

It'll have to be Pat. Yeah. It'll definitely have to be Pat. Patrick and I actually talked about a show. Yeah. Patrick and I actually talked about a show doing that kind of busting wildlife crimes because there's a lot of them out there.

You know, I think that, you know, it's like any crime. syndicate. Money talks, right? So if you, I mean, if I do it, it's going to get blown up. But if you're, if you have the, if you have the right person and they start going into these places, me like, hey, you know, how much for that? You know, how much for 20 of those? I think you're going to expose all kinds of shit. Wildlife trade is the third biggest illegal industry in the world. It's like $8 billion a year or something like that in illegal wildlife trade. I think it's drugs, sex trafficking, and wildlife trade in, in that order. Wow. It's huge. Yeah, it's massive.

I had no idea. No, the more people that want to, to go undercover and bust this shit up and try not to get murdered doing it, the better. Because I hate that kind of behavior, and I just, I think it needs to blow up. The U.N. estimates that the illegal wildlife trades up to $23 billion a year. 23 billion, yeah. I got my dog from the rescue shelter. He's a fucking prick, but I choose to keep him. That's all I'm saying.

None of my dogs have been smuggled. If he was smuggled from somewhere, I don't know why they smuggled him. It was a big mistake. That's funny. So I got a little while. So I got a question. Oh, sorry, go ahead. No, no, I mean, and I don't know if we want to get too much into it, but somebody just did mention it in the chat.

And it's about our old pal, NW. Can we talk about this? You are obsessed. Of course. Who gives a shit? Okay. So we're talking about animal crime. And I want to be super.

Are we going here? I just want to be. careful how I phrase everything because I'm not saying anything factual, right? This is all my opinion, our opinion, but some pictures were posted that were supposedly omitted from the series of pictures from the original card. We're talking about Neil Waters, by the way, and the thylacine awareness group of Australia. All right. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on a second here. Okay. All right. If you're a regular. Brosner, you know what's going on. If you don't, if you aren't, here's the sitch.

Okay, a month ago, this guy, this news comes out of Australia. Thylacine spotted, right? There's this guy, he's rosy-faced, he's walking down a street, talking to his iPhone, sipping a beer, celebrating. He's found it. He's found the thylacine. This is huge. I get excited. I start tweeting about it. People are picking it up. The news is picking up. Everybody's really excited. The guy says, guaranteed proof, coming out in two days, just wanted you all to be know all to be known. Everybody starts freaking out. We start freaking out. Remember guys? We got on the pod. We're like, holy shit, guys, it's going to be huge. 24 hours later. And the guy, a gentleman by the name of Neil Waters, says, I've sent it to Nick Mooney. Well, Nick Mooney's a colleague of mine.

And so I email Nick straight away. And I'm like, what's going on? Is this real? Blah, blah, blah. Like 10 hours later, comes out three or four. I don't even remember any more. Really cryptic photos that we did a breakdown on this pod. We did it as a daily on the YouTube channel. And you just kind of see anything. Right? It's like four cryptic photos where it's blurry. And as far as we know, those are, that's it. Right. Like that's all the proof. So it's like, oh, well, this was, this was fraudulent. Like, this didn't add up. It wasn't fraudulent, but it was, you know, it was just cryptic. Yeah, none of us personally or Nick Mooney thought it was an indisputable evidence of a thylasey. Correct. And we said as much online and then Neil has come after us, tried to get our YouTube channel, had videos taken down, stuff like that. and made a cartoon of Forrest.

I don't think we've ever still said anything really bad about the guy except our opinions. Correct. No, I still stand by everything I've said about him in the beginning, which is good for you for trying to find something and protect the environment. I still stand by that. But anyway, he got really upset, started like, yeah, trying to take down our YouTube and doing a really funny cartoon that Rattap thought was going to upset me that I can't really remember it, but I was running away from the kangaroo.

But now what's happened with Rattap? Hold on, hold on, hold on for us. Real quick. So the last time we talked about it, basically I came, we came to the conclusion. In our opinion, this is what he's doing and the way he's behaving to the criticism about his pictures. He's basically insulting people, calling them morons, calling us frauds. And we basically agreed that it's bad for the thiosine, which the whole point of the group is to bring awareness to the thigh of the scene that these still exist so that Australia will fund research

so that we can find these things and see if they actually are still out there. So that was where we left it last time. That got you so upset. And I agree with you. This is this is pretty messy. But what has happened to Reteb? Okay. So in the ongoing saga, recently some pictures came out and some there's been some, call it hearsay, call it whatever you want. There's a picture that came out that looks like it's from the exact same sequence of trail cam images that the original quote unquote baby thylacine pictures that the group released were that that's not it it's not that tortoise right so here's here's the picture that came out and and they were it's claimed that this picture was intentionally omitted from the sequence of of original images that were released by the

group. And the reason that's purported that this is the case is that it's clear that it's a cat. I mean, the evidence is overwhelming that it does not look like a thylacine in when you include the missing picture in that sequence of pictures. Well, because it's from the same trail camera. So you can see there, Will's pulled up side by side. The picture on the left is the one that the thylacine, what is it, Taga, thylacine group, awareness group, whatever, said that it was definitively a baby. maybe thylacine, from the exact same trail camera, you know, different time of day, but obviously the same camera on the right is a nice striped kitty cat. And so by omitting the picture on the right

and saying we're pretty positive about the picture on the left, it doesn't really help their cause, does it now? So this was, apparently another thylacine group has put this out. Someone also sent it out to some other biologists saying that this was temporarily posted on the Thylacine Awareness Group's page or something like that and then taken down.

But purportedly, this is from the same series of pictures and was intentionally omitted, even though it undeniably describes a cat in my opinion. So at the end of the day, you know, we don't know. These pictures

came out. We're just looking at them. And they look similar to me. And, you know, again, just bad, in my opinion, bad for the thylacine, bad for thylacine research. And it's fucking bullshit. And he's calling us a fraud. He's calling you a fraud. I think that's a little bit of fucking hardcore projection, if you ask me. Calling who a fraud, me?

Yeah, that's what he's commenting in the comments. He's fucking saying all. Yeah, I don't even know why, by the way. because you offered him $100 to use a picture you wanted to use on extinct or alive or some ridiculously mundane normal thing. Yeah. Right on. Cool.

So here's a thought, though. You know, look, this is not any sort of indisputable evidence. Is it possible that a common, you know, feral cat could have been on the same trail camera as something that was not that? Of course, it's possible. Yeah. So, I don't know, man. You know, we have to be careful about what we say, unfortunately,

because, you know, fuck, you know, we don't want our YouTube taken down or anything like that, and people can't mess with your shit. I think we'd all like to say a lot more than we're saying, in other words. Listen, I've said enough. This new evidence is out there. Everybody has it in their hands. They can see it with their own eyes and form their own opinions about it.

It's just, it's a little fucking suspicious, in my opinion. Look at Ritap. Read what Billy Wiggle Weigel just wrote. He says, I'm a professional photologist, and I can say with 100% accuracy, this picture shows someone with a huge ego and flaccid genitals.

Listen, that's his opinion. I can't definitively say yes or no to that, but people are entitled to their own opinions. I'm so bored of this story. I got so excited life in the beginning. I figure we touch on it. The pictures are out there. Check them out yourselves, form your own opinions, whatever.

Last thing I'm going to say is that it just pleased me to know when my cat popped in in front of the camera that multiple brosters know my fucking cat's name. I saw that. It is so funny. Lemley has made numerous appearances on the podcast. That is fantastic. Absolutely. So Forrest, hey, real quick, something happened here the other day. Okay.

This bastion of wildlife that is Studio City, California. So this is fun. So I. out behind me here, I close the curtains because it's sunny. I'll let both my cat and dog outside at night, you know, whatever. They can't get out. They hang out back there. They always come back in.

But usually, if I close the glass door, the dog just kind of hangs out on the patio and the cat is over in the bushes somewhere. So I'm looking out and pouring myself a glass of wine, and I see neither animal in the backyard. I'm like, where the fuck are they? What are they doing? And so I'm going to the door to open it to figure out what they're doing together somewhere, right? Because there's little alleys by the side of the house where they could be in there. And that's the only place I wouldn't see them.

Like this is weird because they're never together. I look as just as my hand is going to the handle, I see a fucking skunk just dart across the yard. Please tell me it's sprayed the area. Oh, dude. With both the cat and dog. together in hot pursuit, but neither of them are sprinting after the skunk. They're just kind of jogging after the skunk. Oh, boy.

Yeah, yeah. Dude, so I ripped the door open. I'm like, ah, both of them stopped, came in. Like, you know, I kind of ran out a little bit. They both, like, kind of came towards me. I was like, ah, get inside. I'm, like, trying to usher them inside. Oh, no.

The skunk unleashes from the side of my yard, an unholy cloud of stink fart. Yeah. Oh, it's terrible. And I like, get the animals inside. It was literally like Will Smith running from an explosion. Like, get them inside, shut the door, like, just as the stink cloud hits the glass. It was fucking ridiculous. But it made me wonder, because I didn't one of your dogs get hit by a skunk once?

Oh, five or six different times. Yeah, no, it's happened to me a ton. Damn. My dog's not here. He was here earlier. That's what I was going to ask you. So your dogs didn't get tagged. Your dog or cat, neither got tagged.

I was, like, maniacally, like, smelling all over them, like, smiling. No, you know, you don't need to do that. We didn't get hit. We didn't get hit. But you could smell it. Dude, it was coming through like minuscule crack under the door. It was so strong. I thought I was going to have to throw out my furniture.

Oh, dude, straight up. No, I had it way worse than that. Like, oh, God, I don't even know where to begin. So the worst one, our dog Chester, he, yeah, he was the best dog, little guy. I miss him dearly. But he wanted to play with everything. Everything. He was the friendliest.

Patrick, you remember him. He was the friendliest. cuddliest little dog, like he just wanted to play. He was not an aggressive bone in his body. Anyway, one night, we're heading down to the house and just parked the car and he hops out of the car with me. And I just see this white tail just go trotting off. And I'm like, oh, a skunk.

And as it clicked into my brain, what I had seen, I looked down at Chester and he's just full bore as fast as he can sprint. Like, friend! Like running at the skunk. And he runs up to the skunk at full speed. He doesn't even slow down, like it's another dog to play with, and the skunk just turns around, pops up onto its front legs, lifts his tail, and just hammers him. I mean, six inches away at most.

Oh, God. Dude. This is a dog that has like three inch long hair, you know, like it's just, I mean, he's covered, dude. He is covered. And it's... Fruit, brute. I don't even know. So it gets worse.

So you guys know my driveway goes down, and then my house is right there. So as I get down there, Jess opens the door and Chester sees her. And I'm literally about to like grab him and scream. And he's like, Mom? And runs over and launches into the house and starts rubbing himself on the couch. Like he's like, oh, I'm home, you know. Oh, my God. Yes, of course.

Anyway, long story short, couch trash. Gone. Not kidding. Like $1,200 mistake. Yeah, no, it's gone. Couch gone. Dog shaved down to the skin. Like literally naked mall rat.

style dog. Brutal. And then throughout the clippers that shaved him, threw out my clothes that had to shave him with, and bathed the dog in a concoction of ketchup, vinegar, dish soap, and I think hydrogen peroxide about 15 times. Still had skunk smell in the bed that night, because it was not.

I mean, it was, like, this, like, five second act turned into a week-long battle of nausea in our house. Like, it was, like, it was, It was just, it was insane, man. Dude, that's amazing. Yeah, it's got lucky boy. The skunks have this sulfuric, it's a sulfur-based organic compound called Theols. Yep.

That boy, oh boy, if I could take an animal superpower, I would fucking take that shit. That is dope. Pat, what would you do if Lemley got sprayed by a skunk? I mean, you can't really bathe a cat. New cat. I mean, you can. I would have to get a, literal, I'd have to. go on eBay and get a chain mail suit

that the Knights wore to give her a bath and tomato sauce or whatever the fuck you do. And just cry and just get angry and threatened to move. It's so bad, man. And it's like, I don't mind the smell. Like, you drive by a hit one on the road or whatever

and you get a whiff of it and you're like, yeah, it's not that bad. When it's concentrated like that and I mean, it's nauseating. Like your eyes water, your lips puckered, it's terrible. I mean, it's just, it's beyond disgusting. It's what happens every time I see Pat for the first time in a few months. And just a quick thing.

By the way, this is entirely fenced in. Neither the cat or dog could possibly escape. The skunk got in somehow, and I know skunks aren't known for being particularly good climbers, so I'm kind of baffled. I'm wondering if maybe my neighbor threw the skunk over the fence. Then your neighbor would smell like my dog. Yeah, true.

What do you think skunk fart would taste like? You think you'd survive it? I think technically it's pissed, right? It's not actually a fart. It's an oilish liquid. It's neither piss nor fart. I mean, it's its own liquid that it... What would you do?

You could never... I mean, you would just have to deal with it for months. I wasn't going to tell this story because it's pretty awful, but I can tell you exactly what it tastes like. I'm not kidding. Oh, my goodness. Swear to God. So we used to trap raccoons in one of our job sites

because meso predators are a problem for Western pawn turtles. Swear to God. Put a trap out one time. And we cover them in bushes and high. hide them, right, so that the animals are more likely to go into these little cage trap. Well, we caught dozens, if not hundreds of raccoons. Nobody expected a skunk. But one day, well, at least I didn't, one day, literally went over there, pulled the bushes apart. Within one second, just a tiny little skunk spray right in the face. Didn't even hit me in the

kids, but I swear to God, I'm not lying, got a little bit right on my lips in my mouth, had to shave my beard. In fact, Patrick wants to ask me when the last time you shaved your beard, that was the last time I shaved my beard. Shave my beard. Skunk stunk in the face. I almost shaved my eyebrows because it was so bad. Oh, God. Yeah. No, it was literally like just literally, like, just literally it was a little spray, but it was just like right here. Yeah, it was bad. Ergwild said that they're very good diggers. So now I need to fucking go check the entire perimeter for a hole in the fence. Dude, you got a brood of skunks just plotting your demise around the house, dude. So let's talk some more news.

I feel like there's some good stuff this week. Yeah. Yeah, boy. So one of my favorite things, everybody knows this, is when something rare, extinct, missing, lost gets rediscovered. Now, in New Zealand, there is a herpetologist named Benbar. He spent years literally flipping logs and rocks looking for the Coppola. Now, the Coppola is a gecko, a Coppola gecko, I should say,

that was first described in 1968 in the scrub of an area called Coppola Hut in the Traverse Range. Now, nearly 40 years after that first sighting, another one was found in Nelson Lakes National Park, another area of New Zealand in 2007. Now, since then, I think, or, you know, since reading about this, Ben Barr just went bat-shick crazy looking for this gecko. And wouldn't you know it has the happiest of endings because just this week, Ben Barr finally on his gazillionth rock that he flipped over, I imagine, found this undiscovered species of gecko that, you know,

basically had only been seen twice before, had been described in 1968, and then found again in 2007 cryptically. And sure enough, we talked about this as a possible Extincter Alive Season 3 kind of thing where, different gecko, different gecko. Oh, different one. How big is this thing?

Tiny, tiny. It looks gigantic. No, it's not. It's a little guy. I mean, maybe not that small, but it's not big. But I just thought this was so rad, especially because I don't know.

I'm sure it says it in the article how many years he spent looking for it. But it wasn't like, you know, hey, we're going to give this a couple weeks. Like he went nuts for this thing. And he did it. He figured it out. He found it.

Yeah. And it's pretty funny because I don't know, Will, can you pull up the picture of Ben with the gecko? He's just like, he's kind of got that Alex Honnold smile when Alex gets to the top of the mountain, top of El Cap.

And he's just like, yeah, I did it. You know, it's like so, so like, I don't even know how to say. Yeah, he's like nonchalant about the thing that he accomplished that like no one else in the world has ever been able to. I don't know. It's rad. Typical scientists. Yeah. Typical scientists, man.

Isn't that Alex Honnold look where he's just like, got it? Yeah. You know. Dude, I got to tell you, I just rewatched Free Solo. Man, in the last, definitely in the last few days. Okay. I just kind of put it on his background noise I was thinking and then watched the whole thing. Yeah.

That dude has something different about something really, really different about his DNA. Oh, no doubt. Yes. Because when you watch that final climb and then they cut down to the support team and the camera guys, those guys are losing their fucking minds and they are sure they're about to see someone they know die. Right. And he's like, he gets to that one point across the hardest thing. He's like, cool, got it.

Yeah. Yeah. My favorite part of that whole documentary is when he just hops up to the top and he's like, hey, guys. And he's got no equipment, nothing, and people are just like, fun. Like a guy with no like rope, no nothing, just a bag of chalk. He's like, and he just like hops over the edge. 3,000 feet, dude. That's crazy. By the way, Gabriel Vermet just said in the chat that just hearing Free Solo makes his hand sweat.

my hands are super Mine are currently sweating which I know makes me ill-equipped for climbing that Donwall or whatever the fuck he climbed. Dude, I mean, it's crazy to think. Can you imagine, Forrest, you could probably relate more than anyone. I mean, you do this but with animals, not just like heights and craziness.

But like, you have to have literally no amygdala to be able to be able to do this. You're talking about hours of just potential death, minutes, second by second. Like, it's fucking, like, you're right. The DNA has to be different. Missing amygdala for real, dude. No, yeah. I mean, can I relate to it?

I think so. But that said, I would never climb this thing. But I'm also not capable of that. You know, I bet Alex Arnold would never tackle a king cobra. So, you know, I think it's just a different skill set. So I guess I believe that I understand what he's going through. What happens with me, and I think Patrick's probably witnessed this, you know, is what happens with me is I get so hyper-focused on the thing that I'm doing when it's a particularly dangerous animal or whatever it is. I get so hyper-focused on that thing that nothing else in the entire world exists.

And I try and, like, during that time of hyperfocus when I'm handling, like, you know, say a snake that I'm not really comfortable with because I haven't had a ton of experience with them or a super big crock or something like that. I'm almost like, and I think Alex Honol was probably doing this, I'm trying to think two steps ahead. So it's like where it's not just reactive, it's like proactive. You're putting your hands in the place, and I'm sure this is relative to rock climbing too, where you think the animal or in this case the climb is going. to be a second from now versus waiting till the animal is kind of moving and just reacting to it. So I don't know. It's hard to explain, I guess. No, but it's interesting that you said that because actually in the documentary, he literally kind of says almost nearly an identical thing about like his process and how he's basically

obsessed with the problem solving aspect of it, like a game of chess, like planning it out and like doing it. And then he said that that kind of obviously eliminates quite a bit of the fear being that prepared for something like that. So, I mean, it seems to be common. It's not really a no amygdala thing. It's more like a preparedness thing. Well, I guess I don't know. I love the joke.

Don't get me wrong. I love the tank top. I don't have no amygdala. I feel fear. I really do. I just like manage it. I don't know how else to say it. I don't get scared when I hold a snake, but like, you know, I've been climbing super high things and felt like, oh shit, this is scary.

Like, I better not slip or, you know, things like that. So I definitely feel the fear. I think it's just how you manage it. Quick question that honestly I don't know the answer to. What is, you know, so in Free Solo, he has that one section that they build up to that's the scariest section, the most likely that he would fall to his death. Yeah. It's the big section. It was the scariest moment for him of his life.

What was the, let's say just during either extinct or alive or the shark weeks, what was the scariest moment for our projects that you've had, including, let's say, as a producer on the other show. Yeah, sure. And have you ever shit your pants? Was it handling the cobra in Vietnam? Was it one of the snakes in Australia? Yeah.

I think the moment that was the most touch and go was the moment with the right. I know and Mitch in Zimbabwe because it wasn't necessarily me that was going to get flattened, but I didn't know. So, okay, usually like with the cobra and Vietnam and all these other situations, I'm in control of the situation, at least a little bit, right? Like I can decide to hold the snake or put down the snake, right? Or I can decide to swim at the shark or swim away from the shark, et cetera. I had no control in the Mitch situation.

So there we were 15 feet away. Rhino was locked on to Mitch and I just said to Mitch, don't move or we're going to die. Right. And if Mitch had just been like, fuck you, I'm out of here and bailed,

that was it. Right. So like I had absolutely no control over that situation, but to just like hope for the best. And I think that was, that was the most touch and go. Like he had the decision.

It was totally up to Mitch, whether he was going to run or whether he was going to stay put. It was totally up to the rhino, whether he was going to charge and flatten us or whether he was going to turn and bolt. and everything had to line up for neither of those to happen. So I think that was the situation.

Pat, what about you? What was your scariest moment? Good Lord. Well, because I'm never handling dangerous animals or anything like that. Yeah, but I mean, you're there. You're around all this crate insanity. Trying to think, like what, I mean, for me personally, it was literally standing on at the top of a,

I can't remember 75 foot steel ladder in a cave. Oh, that cave. Yeah, that was pretty gnarly. That part was just personally very scary because I was waiting for someone else to climb up, and so I was just perched atop this 75-foot ladder forever, it seemed like. As far as, like, with wildlife, I can't think of a time. I mean, sometimes I'm just scared that Forrest is going to get killed, and I'm thinking about all the paperwork that will be involved,

all the phone calls, all that shit. Dude, I'll tell you what, dude, in Fernandina Island, Forest. Yeah. when the tortoise was literally getting handed off Oh, yeah, between boats. Between, from the land into the dingy, our producer, Justin, and you do see it in the show. We don't make a meal out of it,

because that's not what it was about at that point. Yeah. But our producer, Justin, grabs it, and there's huge swells coming in and raising, and it's making this handoff of this precious specimen, super difficult. If that tortoise had gone into the water, we would have all had to kill ourselves instantly.

We would have all had to just commit suicide. And so there's a moment where Justin grabs it and this huge swell comes and he has one end of the gurney that they made and he almost falls into the water. And I mean, it was like if his center of gravity was three inches farther to the right, he was in. Probably pulling the tortoise in and both of them were gone dead. Yeah, it was, I agree.

That was very sketchy. Yeah. Dude, it's interesting. It's interesting because it's almost like everything comes back to a, like, having control. It's like if you don't have control, it's fucking scary. It doesn't matter the situation, you know? Yeah, for sure. So, like, even if you're looking from afar, like the thing with Forrest and Mitch in that, by the way, somebody called it a mituation.

When someone named Mitch, that's great. Who came up with that? That was Dr. Hyena, longtime fan. It's a mituation. It's when someone else is in a dangerous situation and you don't have control. It's a mituation. It's a miduation. That's so good.

Oh, my God. T-shirt? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Another shirt, baby. Wait, real quick, Forrest, what was the super dangerous snake in northern Australia? The Taipan. The Taipan that crawled over my neck.

That gave me the hebi-jeebies for sure. Is it a poisonous ass? snake or what? Venous. It's venomous. It's venomous. Yeah. Fuck you two.

God damn it. Yeah, the typhan was gnarly. Long story short. We're in Australia. We're in this Aboriginal village. I'm interviewing this guy about moon tigers, which are thylacine. And all of a sudden there's like screaming out in the distance, right? And I'm like, oh shit, like just knowing what it is.

In Australia, I grabbed my snake hook, sprint over there. There's this guy with a cinder block over his head. about to smash a snake. And it's a coastal typhan, one of the most dangerous snakes in the world, right? And I'm like, stop, stop, stop. Like literally, like, ran underneath the guy and stopped him from smashing the snake with the cinder block.

And as I do that, the snake turns and bolts under this guy's, like, elevated house. You know those houses that are on like three foot kind of blocks to keep them off the ground because it gets too wet, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, the guy's, like, annoyed because now there's a lethal snake underneath his house. And he didn't get to smash it with the cinder block. and, you know, and I'm like, I'll take care of it. Like, I'm, you know, like, I got it. So, long story short, snakes under the house.

I grab my light, my headlamp, and I start looking around. I see the snake's, like, over here, and I cruise in, and I'm, like, belly crawling because it's, like, two feet tall, and I'm trying to get, like, wrangle the snake. Yeah, in this, like, super, like, dank, dingy area under this house with a bunch of wooden boards where the snake's, like, disappearing under a board, and then popping up 15 feet, you know, further down the board, and I have no idea where it is. terrifying. And snakes, but honestly, I wasn't even scared at all because I'm like,

snakes over here, I go over there, and then the snake's over there, and I go over there. Anyway, lose side of the snake altogether on one of these little excopades, right? And so I'm like, shit, where did it go? Well, the last place I saw it was like right over in this corner right here, and there's like stairs. There's like three stairs right by that. So I'm going to go stick my head through the stairs and see if I can find the snake. So I walk over to where those stairs are, lay flat on my belly,

and pop my head through the stairs, right? I've got my headlamp on, so I'm looking for the snake. So I turn my head this way, right? And I don't see anything. And I'm just about to start turning my head this way, and I just feel this. Oh, my God. And I just freeze right there.

So there is a typan on my neck next to my jugular. And I'm legit. I'm getting goosebumps talking about it, because it still gives me the hebees every time. And long story short, I just froze. because if I twitched or moved fast or anything, undeniably would have bitten me. Of course, the camera guy's got like a little bit of it,

but it's not like they could see my neck jammed under the stairs. Anyway, totally terrifying moment. The snake crawls. It was about a nine foot long snake, eight foot long snake, all the way over my neck and keeps cruising along underneath the house. And as soon as it's, you know, like three feet away from me, I pull out and like my heart is racing with adrenaline. And then the snake bolts from under there.

a moment later, and I go over and grab it, and it's like a big to-do, and then we kind of move it off away from the guy's property. But that, like, I don't even know, two-ish seconds of the snake, one and a half seconds slithering over my neck, knowing I had a typan on my neck. Somebody asked me what in an interview once, they said, what would you have done if that snake had bitten you? And I would have simply got out from under the stairs, looked at the camera, said, guys, please film this, recorded a message for my family, lay down, waited to go because there is not that we were 14, 15 hours from a hospital in the middle of the I mean, there was just nothing that could have been done.

Yeah. I got goose gum, goose scum, that's fruit brute. That is fruit brute. All right, so hoogie buns in the chat. This is a cool question. What animal, he's like, I'm curious, or she, or neither, what animal that actively hunts humans is the scariest. So let me just, I'm going to limit it.

No answer. Zero question. Yeah. Okay. Go ahead. Limit it first. I was going to say, I'm going to limit it to, and I guarantee someone's going to be like, that's not true. But we know that there are cases where lions have been man-eaters. Yep. Tigers have been man-eaters. Leopards especially have been man-eaters. Polar bears and large crocodilians. Yep. Which one is the scariest animal that will hunt you down if it's hungry? Retep goes first, then Patrick, and I'll give mine. I think it's easy. Oh, I mean, dude, honestly, a fucking pack of wolves, man. They don't hunt humans, boy. Oh, well, how the fucking nice thing? I just told you the animals.

I just listed them. Are you mad to them? I'm reading the comments. Sorry, fucking. List the animals one more time. Quickly. Fast, fast. Lions, tigers, leopards, polar bears,

large crocodilians. All right, I'm going fucking, I'm going leopards. Leopards. You just, you just, naming one to name one? You're going to give any reason? No, leopards. I'm scared of them. They're fast. They could...

He's thinking of cheetahs. Don't give me that look for us. F off off. He's thinking of cheetahs, everybody. Well, I am, but I know what leopard is. The Cheetah's spokesperson. I hope you both get killed by a fucking polar bear. Fuck off. Cheers, mates. All right, mine, because I'm not the biologist or the broologist, I'm going to say polar bear, and I think it's pretty

easy. Look, if I had to handle one, I'd be dead no matter what. So, let's not split hairs between a large nile crocodile. and a polar bear, both are killing you easily. My point is, I'm not going in the area where there are large Nile crocodiles near the water line because I know they're there.

A polar bear, I have been in their territory, I've been hiking through their territory in Northern Greenland. I was scared the entire time. There's nothing you could do. So Patrick obviously knew where I was going to start arguing about this, and he's spot on. So it's Nile Crocodile for me, Zero Quest. I grew up around them. I've seen a few of them that have turned into man-eaters.

Here's the thing about them. There is something that happens. I don't think salties are nearly as smart as Nile Crocodiles. All the Australian brosters, be like, saltwater crocodiles. They're way tougher. They're not. Cayman or pansies, like, you know, there's all these other, like, soft crocodilians. Alligators are literally nothing. Nile crocodiles have this thing. Same with what happened with Gustav. And if nobody's familiar with the story of Gustav, he was a man eating crocodile that got bigger and bigger and bigger. But the thing is, they know, there's two parts to why they're the scariest. One is they know when they're being hunted and can disappear. Vanish.

Literally, I mean, if you look at how many times the big famous hunter went to try and kill Gustav, I think it took them 14 years or something wild like that. Because this crocodile would kill people and vanish from the face of the earth. And they can do that. and they are so cryptic and amazing. Number two, the reason they're so scary, is the thing about them is they have to, like you have to go to the water in those environments.

In the places where crocodiles become man-eaters, the entire livelihood is based on the river, right? So you have to go down to the river to get water. You have to go down to the river to catch your fish. So it's not like you can just choose to be like, no more river. It's like you have to get water every single day. And the crocodiles recognize those patterns and just get there and they know

exactly what to do. I don't know. They're just like a whole other level to me. Yeah, they're crazy. Also, also, by the way, Gustav, for those who don't know the story is in probably saying around Burundi. Burundi, yeah. Burundi. Gustav has over 300 people that he ate. Yeah. One animal. And without being caught. Like, that's, I mean, 300 and then eventually, look at the size of that thing. Are you fucking kidding? Imagine if that thing, its only interest was eating you. And your only way of washing, getting water, and food was going to where that thing was.

Transport. Usually these villages on these rivers, the only way to travel from the villages is by canoe. Yeah, I'm changing my vote. I go with crocodile. Well, for top, I was just about to give you such credit because there's so many. famous man-eating leopards. Most of them are in India. And there's one of the big national forests in India is named after Jim Corbett, who is a British hunter that numerous times came in to track and kill these man-eating leopards, even

one when he was a very old man. Leopards can get the taste for human flesh and start only eating humans. And it's happened numerous times in their famous, fairly recent cases of it. All right. I'm back to leopards then. So I have a lot. Less thing. Lessing.

Yeah. The most famous man-eater of all time that has the most confirmed human deaths that it killed, what animal do you think it was? Just quick on this. I think it was the lions from the railway system, Ghost in the Darkness. I'm blanking on their names. It was the Savo Man-Eating Lions in Kenya is a good guess. That's fifth on the list with 135 kills.

That's still so many. Who's number one? Who's number one? idea. Just tell us. No, number one was the Chumpawat Tiger. Ah, yes, I've heard of this. Nepal. That's right. Which killed 436 people. And famously, our boy, Jim Corbett, again, was called in, and he tracked it and killed it after it killed 436 people. Jason, yeah, Jason Abbs says, now featured in Chicago's Field Museum. I don't know if that's a joke or not. No, no, in the Field Museum are the Lions from Savo.

the time. Well, maybe the tiger, but I've seen him. I've been to the Chicago Field Museum to see the Lions. Well, can you pull that picture so that we could see Jim Corbett's face? Because he's just a fascinating character and that he would numerous times, something about him made him the literal, the only person in the world that could help these villages in India and Nepal numerous times when they, like, what do you think it would be that would make someone so good at tracking animals. It's sad that the animals had to die, obviously.

No, but it's a different... You know, this is like that whole, like, rewriting history type thing. It was a different time and place in the world. Like, is it sad that he killed them? Yes. No, it is. But it was a different time in the world, man.

Like, you called in the British, you know, what do you call it, colonist hunter, you know, with the Pith helmet and the cocky shorts, and, like, that's what they... Like, I think he's a legend. Like, I really do. And a hero. Not for killing the animals, but the fact that he could track down these things, that nobody else could track down, find them, when nobody else could find them, use crazy method.

You know, use just like the craziest ideas and structures and methods to find them. I don't know. I think he's amazing. Like, would I like him to go out and kill all these animals now? Of course not. But it was a total different time in the world, and he was very skilled. Well, I mean, the other thing is, is, you know, humans were still animals. like if we're being hunted, like our power is being able to, uh, we're social.

We get together. We find the person that's the best at doing the thing to protect us and we have them do it. It's not like we could fist fight a tiger or leopard and like win. So we have to use what we can use to protect ourselves. And I fucking love animals. But aside from it just being like the time thing, like if there's an animal that's killing hundreds of people in a community, like, you know, we're not like people aren't just going to sit around and do nothing.

If a tiger takes 436 people from a small village in Nepal, that's probably half the village. Right. That's half of everyone you've ever met. Yeah, I also want to point out that he became, like many pHs that I knew in Zimbabwe that grew up as big hunters, he became like a world-renowned conservationist. He, like, killed too many things, felt sorry about it. I've seen this firsthand. In fact, I know very close family friend is one of these people, killed way too many things,

felt, you know, it's like when you're, how do you explain it? Growing up in Africa, when you're young and full of testosterone and you're like 18, 20, 22, whatever, you just want to kill the biggest thing and be the toughest. I think the same thing happens everywhere in the world. And then you, like, realize what you've done is pretty shitty and you try and, like, make amends for it by becoming a conservationist. And I've seen that firsthand in Southern Africa. I don't think it applies here as much. But I think that's probably the same thing that has, I don't know. It's just like, it's kind of a natural progression for these big hunters to end up going into conservation. Here's a good question from Brody Chappelle.

Let's say there is a zoo and an animal got out. What would be the worst animal to escape the zoo, in your opinion, and that would do the most damage? So let's say, let me just amend this question. It's like the zoo's in the middle of a city, and it doesn't just get out of its enclosure. It's now running loose in the middle of it. of the city hub on a Friday night as people are waiting outside of popping nightclubs. Fresh out.

Nobody knows it's out. The news has not hit. It's just in the fucking streets doing its thing. Yeah, I mean, you know, I think the worst possible animal is like a bat with COVID virus, but I think to play. That's as bad as my herpes answers.

Yeah, no, but to play the game, it's you know, it's like, it's an elephant, like a big upset African elephant. You know, it's just going to People were saying it in the comments, but I totally agree. I mean, it's just going to flatten cars. I mean, elephants do this, and they're doing it in Mozambique, literally right now. There are some rogue elephants there that are, you know, they go through a village.

And it's not like they're there to kill people. They're just panicked and freaking out. And when you have a panicked African elephant, you know, forget about it. What about, what about baboons, though? Because you're a while just saying that they're hyper-aggressive, adaptable, live in huge groups. They're also pretty, when a baboon is scared,

it runs and hides. When an elephant is scared, it tears through stuff. It's a whole different thing. A scared elephant is like a stampede of 500 humans running out of a theater that's on fire. Pretty much.

Just one elephant. Yeah. What's yours, Retap? What? The zoo escape animal? Yeah. Shit. I mean, I don't know shit about this,

but I'm going to go with the baboons. but it would have to be a group of baboons, right? Because I feel like there was just one. Forrest is probably right. It'd run away. But if it was like six baboons, a family of baboons with maybe a young one, they would be out there fucking just hyperaggressive. They'd want food.

They'd be on, you know, in the San Diego fucking boulevard there coming down, fucking, boom, stealing your food, attacking your kids, your wife. You're fucking if a baboons on the loose. Yeah. That's a horrible answer. You're an idiot. You're a little iPhone. Hey, what's yours?

Yeah, what's yours that you've been Googling for 20 minutes now? I was. I was. I know you were. That line of logic didn't work. I was trying to find something with a super quick reproductive side. What, the line of logic where you're not paying attention because you're Googling? Idiot.

I would say a Nutrior rat. I mean, neutria rats are horrific in appearance. They have pink teeth. They're gigantic rats. They reproduce quickly. and they destroy ecosystems like we've seen in the bayou near Louisiana. They cause hurricanes to do more damage by killing all the saplings. I don't want any nutry rat anywhere fucking near me.

I'll take a skunk spray in the face instead of a nutry rat encounter. It's an interesting pick because you're identical in appearance to a nutrient. I know, I know. What about a hippo? Yeah, what? What? What? I was trying to remember, and this is like, this is like, this.

to get a little BTS for the Browsoners here. The other day, we had a great idea for a battle royale. Do you remember what it was? It was like, was it going to be a movie or something? Patrick, it was your idea. We had a great idea. What was the premise of this? Do you remember what it was?

Of course. Okay. Well, then, in that case, it's time for everybody's favorite segment. A high-pitchforsetto. Just beautiful, man. Yeah, it's better than Justin Timberlake. Legit.

All right. Let's hear it. I don't remember it. You've been assigned to produce a sci-fi film. Okay. Okay. James Cameron is attached to direct. The budget has been appropriated at $600 million to be the biggest budget film ever made.

Standard. All right? Okay. But you've only got the next minute and a half to figure out your plot. And what's going to, what's going to be? be required for this sci-fi next smash blockbuster hit is that you take one concept from uh one concept from the animal kingdom right so could be an animal could be an animal power something from the animal kingdom we're we're making it broad guys don't worry about this it's going to be great one concept from the

animal kingdom one concept from uh like the idea of just like sci-fi and earth that could be based in reality, right? So it can't be like the power of invisibility. It's got to be like traveling to another planet. Something that could happen. Okay, okay. And what was the third thing?

You put me on the spot and I didn't write it down. Well, I know, but I didn't remember it, so this is pretty good. Wasn't the, was the star of the movie an animal that we had to pick? I don't remember. That's right. Yes, that's right. So, yeah, the star of the movie has to be a certain species.

You get one power or concept from the animal. Hold on. Let me write this down. Are you fucking kidding me? What are you talking about? All right, sorry. Dude, we talked about this two weeks ago. Yeah, we texted. Yeah, we texted. Early obese piece of shit.

Okay. All right. So, I'm sorry. Quickly go over it. I'm not even going to look at the YouTube live. People are booing. Okay. So the Battle Royale is, no, they're not.

They love it. You pick an animal star. You're James Cameron directing a movie. You have to have some kind of sci-fi element and you have to have some kind of human element. Right? Is that right? Am I getting your right?

Patrick. So in other words... I don't remember obviously. I lied when I said I remember. No, I like it. I like it. So in other words, pigs, fly, and battle aliens. Something like that, right? You put together the movie based on that. Exactly. So your animal, the lead character has to be an animal. There has to be a sci-fi element that could be possible, and there has to be a human element to it as well. Yeah. It's great.

Of your 500, 600 million dollar movie. Shut up, John Kuzkoz-Zooch. He says this battle is terrible. You don't know what you're talking about. Well, listen, that's going to be bonkers and impossible to do entertainingly. I'm going to go first. Yeah, you are. Shut up, dude. I literally might X out my window.

You're being so annoying and drunk. I'm not drunk at all, you ugly, rat, fank, weasily, look for, and do that I'm going to draft, it's a snake draft, is this, and you guys can't take this. It's going to be traveling to another planet. I'm going to save my animal and my other thing for later. It's going to be the idea of being the first thing to land on another planet. And of course, that planet is going to be Uranus because it's funny. It gives you good options for the title.

Right. Yeah, it could be called like heinous and Uranus. There's a lot of different possible titles. So mine, Mike, I'm taking the sci-fi concept of traveling and landing in Uranus and then what happens. All right, Forrest, you're next. Okay, great. Fuck you, Pat. Now, you're going to have to tell me if I get decued on this one or not, and if I do, I'll hone it back.

But I'm going to take, for my concept, I'm going to go Marvel movie Avengers style, right? So all the superhero origins come together. But if I can't do that, that because it's too many different animals, let me know, and I'll just turn it down to one origin story. Well, let's hear it. Well, no. I was just laughing at Bro and Roberts. He said thylasee in the movie starring cat. All right.

Yeah. So I'm doing a superhero style. I wasn't even listening because it was so goddamn. Just do it for us. We'll tear it apart. Let's go. What is it? It's a Marvel-style superhero conglomerate adventure.

That's what I'm doing. A bunch of animals to batter. Yeah. Yeah, you can draft that. Yep. All right. I have a tip. You're up for two.

Yeah. So I'm a little. I mean, obviously, I'm going, my setting is down in the bottom of the Marianas Trench, the bottom of the sea. There are bases that are controlled, and that's my setting. Okay. And now what's your animal? Oh, I get to pick two. That's perfect.

My animal is obviously what we all know are actually aliens, and it's what we call octopus, but that is not what their true alien name is. They're called Octafuckpetus. I got to say That's very creative And I'm like Legit sad It's not an actual movie You might win this one

Wait so okay We might just have to round these out Because it's getting confusing So Retep If you're cool with changing it from a snake draft Patrick Retep Tell me what your movie is Yeah exactly

Yeah Just tell me your movie Then Patrick's gonna tell me his Then I'll finish mine Because it's getting too confusing Snake Draft in this style Let's hear your movie movie.

All right. Yeah. So obviously there's fucking alien bases at the bottom of the sea that we kind of already know about. And I'm talking in real life. We know that there's alien bases down there. And what we don't know is that octopus are in fact alien and they transform into their real alien form when they get into their base.

They're merely an octopus form when they come up. And they have a special. ability. And here's the, here's the fucking rub, everybody. You think you've seen, you think you've seen alien craft? They're the fucking craft. The craft is alive. Everything our alien craft can do, that is an a, that is an, what we call an octopus. They can, they can fire lasers. They can fly above. They can be in water. They can fucking, they can, they can, they can zip, defy gravity. You said it. Zip. Zip. And then the rest of the plot, obviously. would have to be fleshed out.

Yeah, it's just the log line. But it all starts with the fact that that guy that we watched or that came out on CNN today who attacked, viciously assaulted that octopus today on CNN. That's how it starts. It's a great movie. Bottom of the Marianas Trench, there's alien bases, James Cameron's directing it. We figure out that aliens are super intelligent. They're overlords.

And not only are they the aliens, they themselves are the space. spacecraft and they're the vessel. Wow. Yeah. That's a good movie. Most creative thing you've come up with in 21. Okay, Forrest, what are you going to do? I go next. Just pitch us your movie here. Yeah, I got you. I got you. I got you. So, mine's a cop out. I'm not a very original

thinker. So I will tell you this. I said it's a, like an X-Men, a Marvel origin story. It's, this is actually a movie that Patrick and I came up with in the back of a bus once. Smart. My movie is great. Podcasts line. It's Lion Man. It's Lion Man. So Lion Man is the story of your hero, Forrest Galante, who goes to Zimbabwe to track down the infamous Cape Lion.

While he's there, he manages to dart this giant black mane lion and draws a blood sample from it. Now, unfortunately, due to a mishap in the Zimbabwean consulate, the paperwork states that Forrest cannot take this vial of blood out of the country. But in the order for Forrest to prove that the lion has Cape Lion ENA, he has to get the blood out of the country. What does our hero do? He keister's the vial of blood, right? Sticks it right up in the old prison pocket, jumps on an airplane, hits a little turbulence, you know, oops, shatter.

Bang. Bang. There goes the vial of blood. It's absorbed through the colon into Forest's body. All of a sudden, Forest grows a mane, and he has the powers of a lion. He is Lionman, and he has to go around the world, fighting. I don't know.

I don't remember. who we had to fight. You got to save the earth. No, poachers. Poachers. I have to kill poachers. That's how the movie goes. I'm Lion Man. I land somewhere else in the world for some reason. Tear up the airport like the origin story where the superhero is always bad in the beginning. Figure out my powers. Learn to leap. Learn to roar. Learn to growl. And then go and target the big poachers and take them down.

Lion Man the movie. Boom. Yeah. And you've already gotten started on the look. So you already... I do. I do. Some of the people are you commenting on that. Pat, how are you going to fucking defeat? Because I thought

I won, but actually that was a good that was a good contender I'm going to make the highest So before Avatar smashed all the records, Titanic was the highest grossing movie in the history of the world. Another James Cameron film, this will be his

third to break even Avatar's record after yours, Bob. Enough with the fluff. So I am at its core Titanic was a big budget romance film, right, at its core. Okay. That's what we're going to do. So we've figured out the capabilities to launch a rocket to land on Uranus.

What we want to do is monitor could an astronaut survive the trip. Okay. So we're going to be launching an animal into space while it's got heart monitors and stuff like that. We launch a group of Tarsiers into space to land on Uranus. Look how cute they are. Oh, look at Will coming in hot. Yeah, look how cute they are. So we're going to land a group of Tarsiers,

which they will be voiced. My lead character will be voiced by Seth Rogen. Great. Phenomenal. So he's going to play the voice of the lead Tarsier. And what happens when the Tarsiers arrive, here's my human element, is that there's a human colony on Uranus,

but in Uranus, humans mate with another species there that looks just like the Tarsier. Oh, boy. So now Seth Rogen as a Tarsier is caught up in a case of mistaken identity. Oh, boy. Where, by the way, Charlize Theron is his love interest. It's that. They did that.

It wasn't Charlie, Seth, Rogan. I'm trying to remember it was like she was a president or something. I don't know. I love it. It's great. Yeah. And by the way, this. This plot is more plausible than them falling in love as just two humans.

Correct. Very, very correct. How is it not great? Retap, yours is phenomenal. They're all great. I think they're great. It's pretty good, but it's by far the worst out of the three. It would make by far the most money.

A quick bonus round. Forrest already said his, but if you'd like to change it now as a time, bonus round, the title of the movie, I'll start. Mine will simply be called Aknato. That's right. Pat, what will yours be called? All right, Forrest. Yeah, his is Lion Man. I'm Lion Man, yeah.

Well, I think yours, Forrest. Key Griffo thinks that yours should be called Forrest Galante's special blood farts. And I agree. 100%. Mine's just going to be called. Mine's going to be a wordplay just called two words, Your Anus.

But picture a full-screen movie poster of just a tarsier looking cute, and it just says, your anus. That's great. That's great. I love it. Yeah. It's going. It's going. This was a weird Battle Royale, but it was lots of fun. I liked it. I wish, if I had a gazillion dollars, if I had Jeff Bezos money, I'd finance all three of these movies, just because, not from us, because we're not very good at this kind of thing, but from a good studio somewhere.

Yeah, absolutely. And we also said at the beginning that whatever Craig Gass said on the YouTube Live would be who won, Craig Gass said Papa P1. So there we go. Oh, yeah, I remember that. No, we didn't agree. You guys, that's ridiculous. I'm kidding. I'm being sarcastic, you idiot.

Oh, my God. You guys are so fucking ridiculous. Boy, Retep, give the people the spiel. Where can they follow us? Where can they find us? If they're not hanging out live tonight, what's it all about? Let's go. Oh, my God.

You guys, go to the wild timespodcast.com. You can go to the wild timespodcast.com forward slash info to get just a nice list of all the links to everything. the YouTube, the audio podcast, anywhere, iTunes, Google, the merch is there, the Instagram, all the socials, the Wild Times Podcast.com forward slash info. And Jason Abbs says the regulars are going to go post game on Discord. So how does that work? Oh, by the way, 100% go to the Discord. You know what?

I'm going to post the actual link in the chat here and in the description of the video because sometimes the link, which is HTTP-Foward slash forward slash wild times. Dot club doesn't work. So if that doesn't work, look for the link in the chat and I'll post it in the description, the actual discord. Dot g-g, blah, blah, blah, whatever the fuck it is. And go to the Discord. We got over 500 in there now.

There is literally like 60, 70 people just bullshitting in there at all times. It is a good time. It's awesome. And it is fun. Yeah. And thanks to Zoe Donahue says I won. People are saying RIP Jenna Meat Tree. I don't know what happened. Daniel Cool says she'll be in the Discord.

All right, good. She's around. I got worried. I got worried. Shout out. She was working, but Meat Tree, Jenna, there's your shout. We missed you. I know.

And to everyone who just listens and not on YouTube, thank you so much. We hope that we make your commute a little bit sillier and make you a little bit stupider. For sure. Come drink with us on our next YouTube live. we love you guys. Good night. Good night.