Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #54 - Bobcats Takeover The World, Aliens Confirmed, Polish Animal Mystery

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

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Yo. Hey, hey. What's the different? Number 54. This is a bonus episode. Yeah, we're going to put two out this week, I think, because Forest is in Mexico doing something with sharks. But I'm here, the producer, Papa P, joined by the professor, Retep. What's up, gentlemen?

Yeah, different vibe bonus episode this week. It's going to be a lot more. For those of you that hate me and Pat, you should just tune out now and wait for the real episode. For those of you that love me and hate Pat, you should listen because I'm going to berate everything he says. Well, that's not going to stop us from getting you caught up on all of the funniest, most interesting wildlife nature stories that have come out this week. And we're joined on camera by Wild Times, Willie, everyone's favorite member of the Wild Times. What's up, Will? What's up, boys?

happy to say that we officially have no science degrees on the team this week. I'm not sure we ever have had any science degrees. I'm not sure I believe Forrest graduated. So let's get right into it. Who was it that sent us the Craigslist, Retepp? That was a great Brosner, chick-named. A chick-name. Freakin Ice-T.

Can I say chick, or are we going to get canceled for that? I think I just got canceled. Yeah. Ice freaking tea sent us this story. So a guy posts this on Craigslist. Found a cat last night. It was stuck in between my fence, screaming its head off. I brought it inside because it looks too big and healthy to be astray.

And dogs here sometimes escape and eat cats that get out. It's got stripes. And it says, please, if you're his owner, contact me ASAP. I cannot keep him here because as cute as he is, he is crazy. And has gotten into everything in that. house in one night. It is extremely aggressive. It doesn't really look like a domestic

cat, does it? It's a giant. I've never seen a cat that big. It's bigger than a human toddler. Yeah, 20 ears might make you think that it's a full-grown bobcat, you might think. Yeah. Eating a plastic water bottle. A wild bobcat. By the way, it

looks very clean. Like, it looks well, they're very good at cleaning themselves these felines. I'll say that. I mean, I can't believe that this guy managed to dislodge this thing from a fence and then carry it into his house without getting brutally attacked. Yeah, a wild bobcat? Just like, I got to know more about, we should get him on the podcast. I got him more about, yeah, how he got him in. Well, he posted an update and said, thank you for everyone who told me this is actually a wild bobcat. I'm not from America. Never heard

Bobcat. I thought all wild cats are much bigger than that. I cannot believe I brought it inside. And he pissed all over my house. You know, I have to deep clean everything. I hope he bought that cat castle in the background. I hope that's like just for this bobcat. And he was like dad at the year. It looks like he went to the store and bought a bunch of cat stuff for this cat. Yeah. I mean, there's no way you'd bring you, you'd bring a stray cat into your house already having like another cat, right?

Pat, like you wouldn't do that. You'd have to like have some kind of. Yeah. Yeah. So he probably did buy that. that cat tower for his new pet. What a stunt. I mean, look, he made a mistake, right? So he didn't

know. He saved it because it was lodged in the fence. And then the cat had a little resort vacation for a few days. But don't bring bobcats into your house. I think we've learned. I love that the cat just decides to go right for the socks. Like, it doesn't matter domestic or feral or whatever.

It's like the cat is a cat. It's right in there. Right. Like, if he brought a tiger in, the first thing it's going to do is just get his socks. Totally. Totally. But, dude, while we're on the Bobcat subject, Jay Patton 11 sent us a really bizarre video of another Bobcat encounter in the suburbs. It doesn't say where, unfortunately, but Will's going to play it here.

For those of you who are only listening on iTunes, I'll narrate it. So this family is basically walking out to their car, and it's being captured on security camera. The guy's greeting his neighbor. He's like, hey, neighbor. she's like hey what's up he's carrying a tray of lasagna it appears yeah he puts his coffee on the windshield and then you can start to hear some screeching his wife is carrying like a pet carrier yeah it could be a cat and all of a sudden you see this thing start attacking his wife from behind and now the guy's holding it up in the air oh god yeah and he goes it's a podcast oh my god and he just

fucking, he just tosses it about 15 feet. And then it ran straight back towards where the wife was. Under the car. Trying to get, trying to hide. No, it came out the other side. Oh, we can see it come out the other side.

Dude, oh my God. Go back to when he throws it, Will. Yeah, it's a craziness. Here we take this a little slower here if we can. He realizes he's holding this ferocious bobcat. Yeah. And so his instinct is to throw it with all his might. That poor fucking bobcat, man.

He takes out the get. You see he reaches for the gun right away? Look at that. Oh, shit. I didn't even see that. Oh, because you do hear him in the audio say he's going to shoot it. Yeah. By the way, this guy, suburban America, the guy's just like getting ready for the morning.

He's fucking strapped with a Glock. Yeah. He's like a 52-year-old man. He's like khaki shorts. Where do you go where you're bringing a tray of lasagna that you also so need your Glock. I'll tell you where. Easter, in this political climate.

That's true. Easter dinner. I hope to God that this is the bobcat that the other guy just, like, released back into the wild yesterday. Dude, it could be. This is his neighbor. It's the same guy. He's like, fuck.

Play this part. Play this part in slow motion here. So she's carrying a cat. And then all of a sudden, the bobcat goes after her. And it is, like, jumping up and, like, scrubs. ratching and clawing at her ass. Yeah, you can see. Oh, my God.

Yeah, there it is. I didn't see that in fast motion. Dude, I've never heard of a bobcat attacking a human. Have you guys? No. No. I mean, it's got to be. Sorry, go ahead, Will.

I was going to say, it's got to be because she's holding the cat, right? He had to have, like, smelled it or something like that. If I could, for just a moment, play Forrest, it's because the cat felt threatened. The bobcat felt threatened. Well, actually, I've got. got an update for you. This was in Pender County, North Carolina. The Bobcat was rabid. Oh shit. Damn. Brutal. Look at this OG dad, though. He's just stared it in the face, like, carrying it out. Like, this guy's a hero. Oh, and then it tries to bite him, it looks like,

and then he tosses it. Dude, the dude's name is Happy. Happy Wade. His first name is Happy. My God, yeah. Yeah, the woman had, she received a number of puncture wounds and was Several bites. Oh, boy. Fucking hell. She had to go get that rabies shot real quick. Dude, by the way, like, this is what you hear about that scares you into getting the, like, the rabies vaccination or whatever when you're a kid. You never think that this will happen.

And here we have it in 2021 on tape, just a random rabid, rabid animal attack on an unseeming family just walking to their car. Dude. How crazy. It's a nightmare. Look at the black high socks. Yeah. Hackey shorts. Well, he did, he actually did end up shooting the bobcat, which turned out it had rabies.

Wow. Yeah. Well, I mean, he got it too. That's what they, they would have put it down either way. I mean, you know. Well, it would have, by the way, probably attacked several other people in the meantime. This guy's a hero. Honestly, happy Wade, we salute you.

Yeah, good job. They're happy. You know, do you know that rabies, if you get it as a human being, you have, it's a 0% survival? you have no it's you cannot live wait 100% death there's no way to but is there there so there's

but if you get it oh so when you get the shots or whatever right after you get it that's to prevent you from actually getting it right exactly yeah gotcha what does it do to the brain pat do you know is it is it like it doesn't make you rabid right you don't just go like start punching people in the grocery line

like does it does it really does it really yeah wow makes you crazy You literally, like, foam with the mouth. You go insane. And you fucking, it's like, it like fucks your brain up so that you go crazy. Dude, that's a zombie movie waiting to happen. Yeah.

I mean, that's, I think, what a lot of them are based on, right? Yeah. It's like this idea of, like, what if something worse than rabies came out? Dude, have you guys, so we're talking about these wild animals that people have, you know, one of them try to keep it as a pet. One of them was attacked by a rabid version of one. Have you guys ever, like, when you were a kid, kept, like, a wild animal? Like, either as a baby and you nursed it and, like, it was injured or something and then you let it go or anything like that? I didn't do it.

No, I was always pretty, I always knew because we had pets, so I knew that, like, you know, if you interfered with the wild animal, that they probably, like, the mom wouldn't take them back and stuff. So I never did as much as I probably wanted to. Yeah. That's a good way of saying you were too scared and me, gregor. I had a baby squirrel for a while. It lived for like a couple weeks after I found it in my backyard. I was probably like 10. It just escaped back to the woods.

It wasn't anything special. But what was cool, though, it used to have a creek right behind my backyard. And we used to have a big snapping turtle. He used to lay its eggs in the garden in my backyard. So every summer I would like sit out there and watch them like hatch and go back. And it was like the coolest like, coolest three weeks of the year every single summer. But I never fuck with them though because they're like fucking terrifying. What did you do, Retepe?

Did you have a pet skunk or something? Well, so I didn't, but my friend and his family, there was like a squirrel that always came around their house, and then they actually ended up getting like a, there was a baby squirrel that was abandoned or something, and it fell and it was injured, and they named it Fred, and they kept it in a cage and, like, nursed it to health.

And this isn't like a suburb of Chicago. Dude, like, this thing was like a domestic pet for, I would say, maybe like a month, and then just, like, out of nowhere, obviously, they just turn to a wild animal. Like, you know, and they have in the cage once he's fine. They let him go, though, and the cat, or the squirrel literally always, always stayed around their house for years and years,

and that's like where it came back. They fed him, like, but it was out in the wild, but it always stuck around there and hung out, and I was like, that's pretty crazy. Yeah, he had good memories of being there. Good memories. He loved it. Oh, yeah.

A little bit of an animal mystery unfolded this week across the pond in Poland. Yeah. So here's what happened. Residents of this neighborhood in Poland were, it was all the rage, they were locking their doors, locking their windows as rumors spread of this strange unidentified animal that had been lurking in the trees. So people were freaking out like that it was going to climb through their windows. They didn't know what it was. So what would you guess just off the top? Retep, what do you think they found?

What was this creature that was scaring everybody? In Poland? I mean, I would say it would say it'd have to be some kind of, and we're talking about cats, it's some kind of feline or a raccoon. I don't know. I agree. I'm going to Fisher Cat. It's like a weird animal that, like, makes crazy sounds.

I mean, someone could have had a pet monkey that they freed. We'll go ahead and click on the article there and pull it up. We'll show you what this creature. creature was. It was not a cat. It was not a monkey. A feline. Nope. It was neither. It was a croissant. It was a croissant.

It was thrown into a tree. It looks like an animal, though. It does. I'm not going to lie. I also love, like, well, how did this cause, like, a fear? Like, how do we're people like, oh, my God, there's like a, like, it just looks like, could bark. It could be like a growth on the tree. It looks like fungus, if anything. Yeah. Or some weird slug. Yeah, or like a squirrel.

Like a fat-deformed squirrel. I mean, come on, huh? Yeah, it was a croissant. It just goes to show you how the game of telephone works when people get hysterical. Totally, man. It's that thing we always talk about where you see something or the group of like three people. Something happens. maybe one of the people who gets bid or something.

And then when they come back, they've seen a cryptid. This is deaf a cryptic. Crypted croissant, dude. New game. Pretty weak. What was your favorite thing that came across the desk this week? What do you got? Well, dude.

So this walrus, you guys remember the walrus that fell asleep on a iceberg? Yeah. And ended up first in Ireland, then in Wales. Yeah. Where's he now? The walriss is now 280 miles south of the first sighting, and it seems that he's fucking doing a world tour. And now tourists are coming out to see him.

He's apparently doing tricks and has antics, and he's on a world tour right now, and he's still alive, and he's hanging out. He's enjoying... What do you mean he's on a world tour? Like, what's he doing? Well, so I mean, he traveled 280 miles farther south from Wales in just six days. So he's out there.

I mean, he's stirring up mischief. Oh, that's right. The biggest part of this, obviously idiot, I forgot. He's been hitching rides on boats. That's how he's moving so quickly around the world. How does a walrus hitch a ride? Bro, these animals live in the water. We are in their domain.

He has tricks up his fat rolls, okay? Is this confirmed that the walrus has hitched ride on boats? Swear to God. I mean, well, so, you know, dude, it says that the cow-sized mammals' cumbersome attempts to get aboard a dinghy ended up capsizing it. Amazing. Oh, he capsized their dingy. He capsized one. Yeah, that's right.

But I think he actually... There's pictures of him trying to climb onto this fishing boat, too. Oh, that's excellent. Bring that up. Got to see this. Dude, what a stud. Do you think he's... I'm sure if Forrest was here, he'd probably say that the walrus is stressed and probably

freaking out and needs to get back to his iceberg leading homeland. Yeah. But as far as Retef's concerned, he's doing tricks and has antics. Listen, he's got a lot of fanfare. People are coming out. Tourists are coming to see what he's up to. I'm assuming he's being well-fed. there's probably people with fans blowing on him air conditioning.

He's good. He is good. Speaking of hitching a ride, Dominic Haynes sent us some photographs of Retepp's favorite animal. Dee Haines? Yeah. Hitching a ride on a dolphin. What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, I love fucking octopus. This man. Octopi. Dude, look at this thing. It is strapped onto this dolphin that is jumping out of the air. Let me see if I can... Oh, God, look at this.

There's another photo, too. The dolphin's like four and a half feet out of the air, and the octopus is just stuck onto his back. I mean, it's built to stick on things, so this is perfect. I'd imagine they do this a lot more than we witness. Yeah, I would too. A lot of fun.

Do you think it's hurting the dolphin? No. I don't think so. No. It's probably annoying as fuck, though. It's definitely annoying, dude. Yeah. I mean, maybe the dolphin might even just be, like, jumping like, hey, fuck this guy.

I'm going to like, it's like, you know, when somebody's latched onto your car and you're trying to get them off and you just turn really fast, the dolphin just jumps out, trying to get the octopus off its back. I've always wondered about that with like, you know how like sometimes like an elephant will have little birds on it or you'll have like pilot fish on a shark? I know they have like those symbiotic relationships, but do you think that bigger animals ever just annoyed? There's always something like pecking at it all day long. Or they just not even notice. Yeah. Well, 100%. No, that's terrible, dude.

When you see, like, lampreys stuck to things, I'm like, that's got to be so annoying, man. Yeah. Lampreys are parasitic, though, aren't they? They're not symbiotic. They're, like, just sucking blood, aren't they? I believe they're parasitic, yeah. But I think you get used to it, like, in the symbiotic realm of things, you know, because you have, like, dude, you ever?

out by horses or cows or something and fucking flies are just like flying in their eyes and like building up. It's so bananas. I'm like, it's making me like itch. Like I don't know how they deal with that shit. Dude, when I was in Greenland filming, we were in this one area where the mosquitoes were so bad. You know, you had to wear nets over your face the whole time. You know, there's just millions of them on you at all times.

Brutal. And this guy, Bob Paul. who was a fucking legend in his own right, but he was like the safety guy. And he said that there is an area in Scotland where he swears to God that he saw a horse commit suicide by walking off a cliff. He said that the mosquitoes were so bad that the mosquitoes were so bad

that the horse was just black. It was covered and it couldn't keep them off him. And it just walked off a cliff and just like fell 200 feet to its death. Jesus. Dude, when you get bad mosquito, it's funny because the mosquitoes were so bad, dude, and we were going to another location, and I said to one of our camera guys,

Kevin, I was like, hey, what do you think, what would you do if we get to the next place and there's no mosquitoes? And he goes, immediately take it for granted. I was like, yeah, you're right. Yeah, totally, totally. It's a thing that, like, growing up in the northeast, dude, mosquitoes are terrible.

they ruined summer nights and then you move to California and there's no mosquitoes. And you just instantly take it for granted, dude. There's no mosquitoes out there? No. No, no mosquito. I mean, you hardly ever get bit. I have not had a mosquito bite in Los Angeles in the 17 years I've lived here. That's crazy.

Dude, it's fantastic. I can't even imagine that. It's like I just imagine everywhere has mosquitoes. No. It must be too hot or some shit. It's like a desert. I mean, we essentially live in a desert out here. So the mosquitoes need a lot of moisture and it's so fucking dry here, you know?

Just no standing water left in the whole state. So it's just like, fucking. I mean, even though we like bring water in from elsewhere, we just water our lawns and drink it. It's not like there's any puddles for mosquitoes to hang out. And we hot tub in it. That's right. Well, I'm shocked that you brought up that story because I thought for sure you were going to bring up an alien. in-based story that everyone's talking about this week.

This is, I would say, as close to definitive proof that aliens have visited us. The Pentagon, so filmmaker Jeremy Corbell released some videos that were purportedly taken on a, can't remember the name of the ship, but a U.S. Navy ship off the coast of California. And the Pentagon, a couple days later, did, in fact, confirm that they had taken these videos. Will's going to pull up the video here in a minute, but essentially what happens is this Navy ships out off the coast, three objects that are literal pyramids in shape, right? So they look like the great pyramids of Giza

are tracking this Navy ship from above. And the video is absolutely insane. Go ahead and play it, Will. So you can sort of see one of them there. And I'm in a little trouble with the video. So that is actually a different object that we're looking. at there. That is a sphere that the Navy

witnessed going from the air seamlessly into the water and disappearing under the water and they sent a submarine after it and we're not able to locate it. These are the pyramids here. I don't know. There's some... You can sort of see it there. You can see it. You can see it. It's

insane. And if you go just look this up, the Fox News has great video on it. It's a hundred percent Like it's definitely An unidentified craft And they're admitting it and this is the second time And it's disclosure is coming my friends

Are you kidding me? Like this has never happened This is unprecedented and now they're confirming all of these reports In June There is supposed to be a report coming out Where they are going to supposedly disclose a lot more of these incidents. The Navy is supposed to.

And, I mean, we got an exciting summer ahead of us. So is that definitely going to happen in June? Something is certainly going to happen. Whether they're going to actually, they have to, they're required to, whether or not it's going to be anything like groundbreaking or insane, you know, who knows? Because you just, you can't know. But based on the fact that they're releasing this stuff piecemeal and the last.

one that we've talked about on the podcast where they're tracking the unidentified flying object with like the flare cam or whatever it is yeah i mean you you have to like you have to feel that they're preparing to give us more information because why would they be doing this after literally classifying pretty much everything for the last fifth you know five decades six decades these objects to me are are insane because that i mean i don't know how the fuck something that's shaped like a pyramid is moving around

the way it is. And then this giant sphere that's literally the size of like oh, I don't know how big it is, but it's the shape of a ball that just goes from, it's flying around in the sky and then went into the ocean

and the U.S. Navy admitted to sending a submarine after it. Right. Like we don't have that technology. No. And did it disturb the water when it went in there? it didn't even look like it disturbed the water as it entered the water, dude.

Oh, I didn't see that part. It looks like it just slides in there. You know, like you would expect something going that fast that hits water at that speed to make like a giant fucking splash. And you can see that it doesn't look like it makes a splash at all. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know.

Will, your thoughts on aliens? We've never had your thoughts on aliens. I think that they're definitely real. I don't know that this is necessarily an alien. I have a feeling it's probably some type of Pentagon propaganda bullshit that we're just like... This is my reasoning. I feel like it's just because it's always the Navy that sees everything.

And it's like that's because they're like... There's like some kind of internal protocol of like, okay, the Navy's going to report this. The Pentagon's going to approve what the report says, what they show. It's going to feed people's interest. And we're going to get to keep testing crazy fucking weapons without getting caught. Like that's just like the way.

I think it works. I just don't think that they're not real, but I just feel like all the things we're seeing right now. It's like the statistical chances of this many like alien encounters happening all the time. It just seems crazy to me. It seems too coincidental. It feels like they'd be spread out by a lot of time. That we just keep seeing them.

Or they've always been happening and we just didn't know. Well, and the other thing is, I mean, yeah. You know, and they're certainly going to control the narrative. of this as much as possible. I mean, that's, that's, that's for sure. So I think what you're talking about is, is valid. I mean, the way that they release things like this is discussed in meetings from higher ups and shit.

And the way that it's like leaked or released is done intentionally in a certain way, I think. It's just, you know, is it, is it, are they doing it because they can no longer, it's happening so much, they can no longer, like, control all of it because of the internet and just all of the information out. there, you know? And, but I mean, I do always have that thing. Like, we've had these, we've had, like, HD phones that can take cameras for 10 years now. And there's really not, like, that much photographic evidence or videos from just regular people, although there are, there is some. But, I mean, I guess at the same time, it's probably very difficult to get a video of a craft that's

defying physics moving 10,000 miles an hour. Right. Yeah, not to mention like, you know, if they are doing most of their shit at night, right, which they might be. Yeah. If they're observing us or whatever the fuck they're doing, you know, if you record something with your iPhone of something way up in the sky at night, it's just going to look like a light. Yeah, that's true. So, you know, this is like, you know, high-tech military infrared cams that are filming these things that are moving super fast. Right, right. But I mean, the good news is if they've always been doing this, or as long as we've been alive, they haven't blown us up yet.

That's good. Yeah. I've always thought, you know, and I've read a lot of fucking just insane bullshit. There's this one book called like, I forget what it's called, like the law of one. Some lady claims that she's in contact with an alien race and it explains everything about humanity and aliens and all this shit. And basically, but one of the points is is that. that we're, Earth is quarantined from the rest of the fucking universe because we're so shitty. And we're dangerous to ourselves.

And we're dangerous to the rest of the fucking peaceful, universal community. And then, of course, it goes on. She asked specific questions and whatnot. And one of the things is that they became so interested in us when we started using nuclear weapons and shit. Because a lot of the stuff, a lot of the sightings and stuff from back in the day, supposedly are surrounding, you know, them coming down around nuclear testing facilities where we have nuke's and shit. And so, you know, the fact that we haven't been invaded by any hostile aliens or something, it's like hard to picture because I think we're still such animals and we have these

like kind of, I'm not saying we're all bad. Humans are bad or anything, but we are terrible. But we we have these like still innate like animal desires but yet we have these highly evolved brains at the same time and maybe these potential species that are running around are just like you said observing us and being like making sure

we don't fuck up the rest of the universe for everybody or something one of the theories is that is that alien that that's how humanity there's one theory Joe Rogan posted it when he was ranting about these videos but the theory that alien

you know, came from another planet and injected some of their, you know, basically put some of their DNA into some monkeys and that that's how human and so the idea is like they're just observing their experiment. Sure. Obviously that's pretty wacky and like insane in a lot of ways

and goes against evolution but that's kind of fun. Like if we found out that was true, how would you feel about it? Like if scientists came out and were like, yeah, like we realized this is what happened. We all, from another planet and sort of they put the DNA and monkeys and like they're observing us.

I feel like that would be like basically proof of God's existence then. It would just be like God just turned out to be a bunch of fucking little green men. You know, it's like but still like a higher being created us and like is watching over us and looking out for us. You know, it's like sure. That would be kind of crazy. Well, yeah. Absolutely. I feel like the probably what is going on is more in line with the Fermi paradox.

you guys know about that? No, but I'd love to. It's like the basic, you probably heard of it before. The basic concept is like, we're so insignificant compared to like anything that could ever travel like intergalactically or through different like multiverses that we would be like the equivalent of seeing like an ant on the ground. You don't even think about it. You just pass it right by. Interesting. They wouldn't even notice us.

Like we're not even like anything more than a spec in this way broader, you know, spectrum of existence. that they live in, which would make sense to me. Like, you know, why would they, they've already, there's nothing we could ever give them that would interest them even enough to stop to come look. Or maybe they do. Maybe they put some seeds in our DNA and now they're just checking out how we've grown. It is interesting, though, because, I mean, if we're made in the image of aliens, God, whatever you want to call it, you know, one of the things about humans that differentiates us

from a lot of animals is the fact that, like, we have, this undying curiosity and like kind of drive to like expand or like you know like get better or not not better but like you know like build cities like look at cities and buildings and all this

shit like and technology and computers and all this pretty fucking cool cities too man but they have never built a AI computer mate I'm just saying they have not well that was a fun little rant I think it was you know it could be related to wildlife in some way

I do. Aliens are wildlife for sure. I want to bring this up. Imagine you're just like eating a snack. You're eating a sandwich. You're walking through the park. You're in Pittsburgh. Hard to imagine.

Yeah. You know, you're just living in Pittsburgh. I've been to Pittsburgh. It's a city. It's a proper city. You do not expect to see a fucking 12-foot-long snake hanging out in a tree, do you? A giant, thick black snake?

Death not. So there is, in Pittsburgh, somebody photographed a black rat snake that looks like it's about 12 feet long, just hanging out in a public, at Frick Park. Jesus, 12 feet long? Dude, look at this thing. Oh my God. Yeah, it's nuts.

Holy crap. Yeah, you're just going for a stroll and you see that and you don't. Obviously, most people aren't going to be like, oh, that's a black rat snake that's non-venomous. Right. Of course. Even at that size, even at that size, even at that. that size, it's like, even if it's not venomous, it could still fuck you up. Definitely could fuck up your dog or something.

Like, that thing's huge. Certainly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also, by the way, in a tree, like, fuck off. Dude, the snakes that are chilling in the trees are the scariest to me. Because, like, yeah, like, you can step on one.

They hide really well. But it's like, when you're walking through, like, a jungle and you just, like, there's a snake that's just dangling down at head height, those terrify me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But this is a black rat snake. They are not venomous, but the snake has not been captured yet. It is still hanging out in Rick Park in Pittsburgh somewhere on the loose.

Watch out. Do not go there until this thing is captured. Or should it be captured? If it's an endemic species to Pittsburgh, it just has to be captured because it's too big. Well, it was they're saying it was a pet that somebody released in the park. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. But it can live in this area

But they said they're just going to relocate it To a place with less foot traffic So that doesn't have scary Yeah Anywhere else Yeah That's a pleasant story I mean look at that fucking thing though dude

That's pretty scary I would be We have an innate We have an innate fear of snakes It's so fascinating man Like babies You know baby monkeys that are two days old They're terrified of snakes

Yeah they're like monster I mean a lot of our like archiotypes of evil and bad things like the snake in the garden of Eden for example it's snakes like this is like an innate thing I don't know right it's like and is it the chicken or the egg thing did it come because we told stories about these things or did they did we tell the stories because we look at them and we're so scared of them naturally you know well I think it's probably that primates that had a fear of snakes were less likely to get bitten by snakes and die yeah yeah passed on the tree trait, you know, so that most of us evolved from our ancestors who just had an innate fear of this weird serpent that moves funny. Yeah. Yeah. Everything about them is off putting the way they moves, the way they look. Is that how like those archetypical fears happen where you see reports of like monsters in every continent of the globe, even though it's like these people were like isolated? Like there's like dragon stories from Asia and South America. And it's like it just, it was just a survival tactic that just like has. made it all the way through the generations even before maybe we're even people or something. That shit is weird, man.

Like when you look into like zombie, right? Like the idea of a zombie. Mm-hmm. Pretty much every culture in the world had some version of a zombie even when they were isolated, right? Like some version of people that rose from the dead and came to kill you. Yeah. Right.

Which is weird that that's just like an innate, like natural story or fear that that every culture came up with in one way or the other. Yeah. I've never, I mean, it begs like, like, well, it's, it's, it's funny though, because like, it's, is it in, is it in it? Do we know about it because of like the, the passed down stories? Like, because that's such, that's such a human thing. Like, we're so, we're such social creatures.

And I guess, you know, so are, so our, so are, uh, primates and every, everything like that. But it's like, are we, you know, are, is it because we're telling or is it like, like in our actual fucking physical genes, you know. I've always wondered that. There's probably an answer, but I've never looked it up. Yeah, you don't know. You know, too.

Brozner's, you know, posted on the comments below, I'm sure you will, because somebody knows. That's where I get all of my information these days is from the Brosner's. Well, speaking of which, did you hear from the Brosners about the alcoholic monkey who got a life sentence? No, I did not. Okay. Well, it's pretty fascinating. So in Taiwan, oh, sorry, no, no, this was in India. Okay.

There's a monkey that hung out with this dude, belonged to this guy, was his pet, and it died, or his owner died, right? So the six-year-old pet monkey just got really sad. and the owner, by the way, had routinely supplied the monkey with alcohol. So he... Oh, is his drinking buddy? Yes, so he would drink booze with the monkey. And so this monkey developed a terrible addiction to alcohol.

And then when the owner died and he had to go sober, he just was real angry because it was, you know, cold turkey, man. He had like the shakes and stuff. Oh, yeah. He went on a fucking rampage. He attacked 250 pedestrians. And killed somebody because he couldn't get booze. Holy shit.

It's crazy. Wait, so how big is this monkey? Did it attack? It killed somebody? Like a child? Or do we know if it's like an adult? Oh. I don't know.

So what they end up doing with this guy? This poor fucking monkey. They put him in a zoo and the monkey's so aggressive that he's apparently attacked. several of the zoo keepers, and he's attacking other monkeys, and they now are putting him, he has been sentenced to life in isolation at the zoo in solitary confinement. So they will continue to feed him and stuff, but he's too aggressive. Maybe, you know, you think maybe someday after he gets through the alcohol withdrawals,

he'll recover and become a productive member of monkey society at the zoo. Dude, he killed an adult man. And the picture of the monkey is, it just looks like a small, like, normal monkey. I don't know. It doesn't say what type is. No, that picture they have on there is not the monkey. That is a handsome, well-adjusted monkey that they're showing there.

There's no way that that's the monkey, dude. Oh, I see. I mean, I see the actual picture. He's pretty big. I want to see what kind of monkey is. It's on Daily Mail. nobody identifies what kind of monkey he is it's really annoying

man well that is sad that he that this monkey actually killed somebody but I mean so this guy you know had a drinking buddy monkey he dies and then the monkey just goes fucking bad shit insane I'm hopeful like I said that this monkey can be I'm happy that they didn't just put it down isolation I've heard can be terrible but maybe I'm hopeful that this monkey can recover, dude, because, dude, your owner died, your best friend died,

you are going through mad alcohol withdrawals. Nobody should kill anybody, but this is a wild animal monkey, and it's sad what happened, but dude, hopefully this poor monkey can be rehabilitated. It looks to me like it's a racist macaque. Yeah, and those are everywhere in here, aren't they?

Like, they live, like, right in the villages and stuff. Yeah, they're the most common, monkey in India. I mean, they top out at about 17 pounds, but if you can find, we'll pull up a shot of their teeth. When you see the teeth on a rhesus macaque, you will not be surprised

that it could take down a full-grown man. They have some giant molars. Now, is this the type of monkey? Remember when Forrest told us a story where he got scammed by a young woman and a monkey when he was out that way? He was in,

I think, Bali. So I don't know. I'm not sure what kind of monkey it was, but dude, look at it was a macaque. It was definitely a macaque. I don't know if it was this specific guy. Look at these things fucking teeth, man. It's no wonder a 17-pound monkey could take down a full-grown human. Yeah. I mean, it's scary.

Look at this thing, dude. Look those teeth. Yeah. I mean, that's terrifying, man. Terrifying. Yeah. That's a serious bite. Yeah.

I mean, it's like if that came up to me, look at those fangs, dude. Dude, that'd be brute. Not to mention, like, it's a wild animal, so it's a thousand times tougher than any human. They move so fast. They're super strong. If that thing wanted to climb up you and just take you out at the neck, it could easily do it. Well, you think about the scariest people you see, like, where I'm in New York. It's not, like, gang members.

It's people who are addicted to drugs because they will do anything to get money for drugs. It's like this monkey. is super strong and also super strung out. No, thank you. Do not want to fuck with this monkey in any way, shape, or form. He also probably has relatively little idea

why he's feeling the way he does feel. Yeah. I mean, he's just confused. He's like, this fucking sucks. Like, I don't want to exist this way. He definitely thinks this is it for him. The rest of his life is going to, he's going to feel like this. Lashing out. I mean, theoretically, you would think he would get over

like after a month of not having any alcohol. You would think that would get out of his system, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, so what did you say? This was, was this three years after the death? No, no, no. No, the monkey's six years old and its owner died and he just went on an immediate rampage when the booze ran out. See, that's why I'm hopeful that this monkey can be rehabilitated, and I hope they really do try.

I'd say the takeaway from this is if you do have a pet monkey and you're listening, do not feed it alcohol. Yeah. No, thank you. You should never give your animals alcohol. One time I was at home, I was having a rum and diet Coke. My small dog. Yeah, he was, you know, he was three or four, probably four at this time. I had left it on the table and I went to use the bathroom.

And I just hear a thud into the door of the bathroom. And, you know, I open it up. Dogs there. And I'm like, what's the matter with you? And he was like just being weird and then I noticed he was wobbling and I was like you know because I was like I was oh he peed right on the fucking floor in front of me as I was walking out the door like oh my god he's like aggressive piss and I was like are you like I was like pissed and then I noticed him like wobbling and I'm like and I just like thought he was sick and I was like shit you know calm down and then clean up the pee and I'm like fuck what the fuck? He comes in, he's like following me around. I go and I sit down and my drink's gone. He had drank my rum and diet Coke, and he was shit-faced, dude.

And he was just like wobbling around. And I was like, God damn it. I hope he's not brain damaged. And I think. Did you have to get his stomach pumped or did you like stick your finger down his throat? No, no. I mean, he drank half a rum and diet Coke. Granted, it was pretty stiff.

I was going to say the way you make him, that's like two shots. especially back then But he was like He basically after that He just went and laid down And had a real good peaceful slumber And then he got up and had a bad hangover We talked about it

And he was fine He never drank again I was gonna say this lesson You gotta give him the Peter Remedy Just give him some Taco Bell Put Netflix on And he holds his fucking chill out Pass out

Yeah So then he can diarrhea And take a piss in front of me after he runs into the bathroom door with his head. That's perfect. Yeah, that is, isn't it? Love that reaction. That's perfect.

One of the brosters hit me up on Instagram and asked us they like our little, since Forrest isn't here, I think we should do it. Sure. Another little game where we talk about food. They want us to rank our top three and then our least favorite dead fucking land. types of French fries. I'm going to allow tater tots and onion rings to be in this. Okay.

So top three kinds of fry, tots and rings included, and then dead last, the worst. I've got the very best one guaranteed. I just don't know if it's going to count. Can I go? Can I kick us off?

Yeah, yeah, go first. Top three. But you got to go three, two, one, and then dead last. Oh, three, two. You want me to just, all right in a row. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Third best, I was,

say are probably hand cut like curly fries. Like you go to a farm and they like put them in right in the grease. They just come out fresh and they're delicious. A farm? Where are you? Yeah. When you go to a farm and get a hand cut dryer right there. Yeah, you guys ever had a fuel trip as a

kid? Not to Amish country. Yeah, they had an awful cider. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's fair, but that's my third best. Okay. Number two. Best, all right. Second best is like seventh to ninth inning baseball game french fries because you're just like so drunk you're so hungry and you're just like this is the greatest thing i've ever fucking eaten in my life like and

it doesn't even matter what kind of fry really it's just like amazing yeah yeah they typically are a little thicker than a shoe string at a baseball game there's a little beefier yeah but you need that sustenance you've been drinking um you know for two hours before the game all afternoon in the sun and it just it's magic what i what i love about that that fry is that that that it's not even a fry. It's just the situation. It could be any fry. It could be a piece of fucking turd.

Like, it doesn't matter what it is. Any stadium anywhere worldwide. That fry in that time period. Number two. That's if your blood alcohol levels above 0.08, that fry. That's the fry that you want. But I'll say number one. Number one's very specific.

It's Putin. It's just go to Australia. Wow. That's good. It's a serious French fry in your hands. Dude, Putin is amazing. is amazing. I lived in Vancouver for like eight months. And dude,

Poutine is. And the thing about Poutine, for those of you don't know, it's a traditional Canadian dish. I don't know if it's French or not. I don't think it is. I think it's like Canadian. But it's French fries, usually a little thicker. It's not quite a shoe string. It's a little thicker fry. It has brown gravy and then cheese curds on top that kind of melt into the hot gravy. So it's very messy. Sounds disgusting, but delicious. It's so good. But the problem with Poutine is, you go to a lot of restaurants and bars try to make like their elevated putteen so they're putting like short ribs in there and bacon. Fuck off.

Just the traditional cheap poutine is the best for sure. Yeah. And then what's your dead last? Unacceptable fry. I think an unacceptable fry is probably like, I'm just going to say a frozen oriida. Like you put and take them out of the bag and like just put them into like a toaster. oven. It's like they just get soggy and gross. Anything that is in the tater tot is an acceptable as a frozen fry.

Just can't do it. I won't do it. It's close second to last. That's a good segue. No. No, you did not. Why? What the fuck?

They're delicious. Dude. Yeah, speaking of which. Wendy's fries are always cold and soggy. They're gross. They're gross. They're second to last. I love a cold soggy fry.

It doesn't even matter. I think they're okay. They're not on my list. My number three. is actually the crinkle-cut store-bought frozen fry. I love a good, it's got a decent amount of potato in there. That's going to be my number three. Two, tater tots.

I like tater tots because you can eat a lot of them. They're real crispy. They accept seasoning very well. And then number one, the ultimate fry is the five guys, Cajun Fries. Those are good. Dude, they're so good. It's a little thicker. It's a little thicker than a shoe string.

And then my dead last is the wedge. It is disgusting. Wedge fries are absolutely gross. Dude, it's like a ball of mashed potatoes encased in fry. They're so disgusting. And also it's so frequently not cooked correctly because if you don't cook it fully, it's just disgusting like mash in the middle.

Yeah. It's terrible. Pretty much how I've always had it. They suck even when they're good. No one should serve wedges. They're so bad. The five guys, I just want to add, and I think the thing that makes them just a really good pick on your part, Pat,

is when you get the fries, not only do they fill up the container in the bag, they literally put twice, they put another full order of fries just into the brown bag with the rest of the burger and everything. Dude, it's so great. Beautiful. And even though they do that, I still get the large.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. But you're right. It's like they fill the cup, put your burger in the bag, and then just fill the bag up with fries. Yeah. And it's intentional. It's not an accident. They saw that everybody, by the way, when you're like at McDonald's or whatever, you get fries and they, and you get a few extras at the bottom, it's magical.

You love it. It makes you happy. Oh, yeah. They saw that. And they're like, we're going to capitalize on this shit. and make people feel fantastic when they order our fries. You've always had five guys. You have five guys in California?

Oh, nice. Yeah. Do you not have it in New York? No, we do. Dude, I have had it all the time. It's like a good work, like dip out of work and get five guys on the streets. Great. Oh, yeah.

It's a real treat. All right, Retep, what do you got? Well, number three for me is, in fact, going to be McDonald's fries because they're fucking delicious. They always have been delicious. Even when they change to the non-trans fat, they're still good. And I love them. And just they're good. Even when they're a little bit cold, they're fine.

My number two is not going to be a fry, but it's going to be more in the realm of the onion rings and tater tots. And that is going to be mozzarella sticks. Don't care if it's against the rules. They're cooking delicious. Not even closer in the rules. That's not a fry in any way. Tater tots and onion rings.

I'm picking fucking. a mozzarella sticks. What are we talking about here? Fuck off. You don't like them? You don't like them? That's just like saying like tacos is my choice for best like a fry. Peter Kott's onion rings?

What are you talking about? How are they any different than onion rings? Which, by the way, you didn't even pick. You know why? You know how many onion rings I need? One. How many? I need one onion rings.

I just wait for someone else to order onion rings and then I say, can I have one of those? You know how many mozzarella cheese? sticks I need, 25. A baker's dozen. My number one my number one pick, however, back to the fry realm and it's unbelievable to me

that nobody picked this is fucking the waffle fry, man. The fucking waffle fry, dude. Oh, it's just like it's, it's, it's every good part of a fry. It's like a bunch of fries

mixed in one, criss-crossed, delicious. It's not too thick. It's not too thin. And it's like having an additional sandwich. Additional mini sandwiches. It's delicious. It's a good vessel for sauce, right? It's got all the little craters in it. It's not very good, though, unfortunately. It's a bad pick. Very bad pick. What? Are you fucking kidding me? It just really depends on the sauce. To be honest, if you have an amazing sauce and you want to just start scooping, you want an edible spoon, you go with the Off and over fried. They're typically over fried.

You're eating a lot of oil that's unnecessary. When was the last time you had a waffle fry? The last time I had one I was on the phone with you at 2 a.m. Pat, I remember that day. Fuck you. All right. And what's your dead last? I haven't thought about this much because I love every fry and every fry pretty much equally.

My dead last is going to have to be fucking frozen shoe string potato. That's disgusting. prize. Yeah. I'm surprised no one went hash brown. Was a hash brown if counted? I think you could have counted. Oh, fuck off, Will.

What do you? Forest kissing Pat's ass. Why doesn't the cheese stick count then? Because it's not just potato that's fried. Yeah, but neither is an onion ring. We didn't pick that. You said that. No one did that.

But he said it was allowable. I kind of wanted someone to pick onion ring because I had a little rant about onion rings that I wanted to do. That's why I made it. That's why I made a part of it. Go ahead. I want to hear the rant now. It was just that. It was just that you don't need more than one onion ring ever. Like, to get a whole order of onion rings is horrific.

Yeah. Yeah. One is great. It's a lot. Two is even probably too much. I mean, they just get cold and they're just terrible. Very fast. Like, as soon as they're not piping hot, they're just no longer even remotely delicious, I feel.

I got to say, every time I play a food game with you, Pat, you move down at least one full. notch in my book. You said you liked five guys fries and you hate wedges. So we kind of agreed on everything. No, it's the waffle fry debauchery that you fucking are saying, which is utter utter nonsense. It's not just good for sauce. They're tasty, they're delicious and you've never had a bad one in your life. I think the brosters are going to agree with me and Will on this, that waffle fries are trash and then mozzarella sticks are not a potato product and

certainly not a fry. You're onion rings, you must. Oh, fucker! All right. All right. Well, look, we'll, Forest will be back this week. I think we'll,

you know, he's going to have a lot of cool stuff to talk about. He's been on quite an adventure, which if you follow him on Instagram, you've probably seen some of his picks. So we will release a second podcast this week with Forrest. Hope you enjoyed the bonus nonsense, aliens,

octopus riding dolphins. Onion rings. Yeah, onion rings. There you go. Is that your outro? All right. So here's my cue. Yeah, go to the Wild Times Podcast.

com. Check out the videos on YouTube. We're releasing videos every week, multiple videos every week, not just the podcast. For us, they'll be back for the next episode. And that's thewildtimespodcast.com forward slash YouTube, the Wild Times Podcast, forward slash info.

To find the links to everywhere else you can listen. You can listen on Google, Apple, iTunes, anything you want, it's all there for you. We love you, except for you, Pat. Good night.