Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #63 - Pygmy Blue Whales, Rhino Poacher Kingpin, & Animal Abilities Amazing Race

Episode Date: June 21, 2021

Rhino poacher kingpin gets a taste of his own medicine. Pygmy Blue Whales discovered. Animal abilities amazing race. Forrest, Patrick, + Retep talk parachuting beavers, Javan Rhinos just keep on fucking, and get to the bottom of why nobody likes IPAs. Patreon @ https://patreon.com/wildtimespod All the links @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com/info Love you!

Welcome to the Wild Times. This is episode number 60-something. I never know what fucking episode is. This is your host, Forrest Galante. I am here with my two best friends in the world. Fucking, you have just entered a world of fantastic pottyness. Wild Times. That was my best go, man.

That was my best go. No, it was pretty good. I was like about to open my mouth and start doing the intro. And then you just went hard out of the gate. Um, this is great. Papa Pee, you drink? Are you drinking mango cart? Did I see a mango cart?

Oh, pop pop pop pop pop pop pee? Yeah. Is that a little mangos on your head? No, this is a little, you know, this is a little midday. Mango Fribele. A favorite Michael Bublet. Delicious. Very mangoy.

Yeah. You splash a little vodka in there, huh? My new favorite beer. My new favorite beer is mango cart because it's fruit juice that they disguises beer, and it's delightful. What's the proof on that? Is that like a six. Percenter? I think, I don't know, to be honest.

I drink three of them and go to sleep, so it's enough. Every night? You might have a problem. No, like every other night. All right. Well, as Peter introduced as me, this is the Wild Times. We are back. It's the greatest show on the air.

He's an idiot because he didn't know that this is episode number 63, 63 weeks, hanging out, being bros, doing fun stuff, talking about wildlife adventure and the outdoors with myself, the broologist, Forrest Galante, pop a pee, drinking a boobly, Mr. Broducer. What's going on, Patrick? Oh, you know, just hanging out in the dungeon, I decided to do a slightly different view,

so let a little daylight in, so I don't look so pasty and Dracula-like. Yeah, nice. And, you know, pretty excited. If this all goes according to Plan Forest, I just might have a beer later on. Nice. I like that a lot.

Yeah. And the one and only, the pig trash himself. Peter spelt backwards. It is RR.R.Tep. What's going on? Brofessor. I feel, uh, I feel like I have great energy because I'm the only one boozing today. Are you booze? That could be it. No, I'm not. I'm not. It's midday. And it's, but, but again, I know we caught out about this. I'm not going to get out about it. It's 250 degrees in L.A. right now, dude. They're telling us, they're telling us, don't use the AC these hours. Buck off, dude.

I'll leave it on 80 or something, but I ain't turning it off. I'll die. There's a thing. I don't know if this happens to you guys or everybody or literally just me, but I'm very spoiled. I've spent many, many a day drinking on a beach in Mexico. It's been delightful. I've enjoyed it very much. And now when it gets particularly hot, instantly my brain goes to a point of like wanting ice cold margaritas. Like even if it's like, it could be 9.30 in the morning and it's already like 94 degrees out. And I'm like, oh, could use a margarita right about now. Dude, I was at the beach yesterday because the GF was off work.

So we're like beach day. And it was like 100 here in where I live in California. But you go to the beach, legit 30 degrees cooler. Yeah. That's why the real estate's so expensive because the weather is pretty much always nice. Yeah. So we're down there hanging out. And I'm just like, I was not going to drink because I'm like, I'm just hanging out.

impossible. Past a grocery store had to go in and get like, I got like a canned chardonnay. I've seen those. And Forrest, you're going to love this because you do introduce me to it. A fucking bootchcraft, man. And I'll tell you, it did me right. Yeah, it was good. Boochraft's a treat. I had three of them last night. I'm not

going to lie. Oh, boy. Well, yo, I want to get into something that's sort of, you know, no set plans. Peter, don't get mad at me, but I'm real excited about it. I mean, look, when we started this podcast, we did the first one in Forrest's garage, and we had a fucking blast doing it. Retepp and I did two previous podcasts, and we always did them together. Then fucking Corona happened, and I think you guys and the Brozner's know that we've dealt with a bunch of technical difficulties.

It always puts me in a salty mood. No, really? And so, yeah. So thanks to our loyal patrons, we've decided, and no exact plan, we're talking about, about it, we're figuring it out. We're going to put a studio together and we're going to really change up our game. Yep. And really start doing it in person with everything set.

The cameras are always set. Just like a real life podcast. Right. Dude, it's going to be amazing. Big boy pants. Where are we going to do this? Are we doing it in your garage forest or no? If you want to come up here, I would love that.

That would be great. Otherwise, we, I mean, I could set up a little studio at my house. I'm not kidding. I've got a spare room we could use. And that could be it. You can do it here. I would love to do it at your place because just the reality is I don't have any fucking space and you got that separate building there. Yep.

I would certainly trade the drive for not having to have the, you know, 60 square feet taken up by the studio. Done. I'll set it up. Okay. I'll get a studio. Hell yeah. Not kidding. We'll do it.

And then we can bring donkey in the middle of a podcast and just have what's up and, you know, I honestly. I honestly, so I don't think people understand. Well, they probably do because they're watching us do it. but it's a fucking Zoom call we've been doing for months, right? Like, and there's definitely going to be, there's a, there's a chemistry shift. There's like delays and like you said, weird technical stuff, but it still works out. It's still fucking fun as hell. But dude, when we like when you get together, it's like an exciting thing, dude.

Like you're getting together, you're having some drinks. You're hanging out with buddies. You're talking some fucking shit. It's going to be fucking fantastic. Like Forrest, when we're writing something, right? We're creating a show. or a deck or planning a shoot, explain the difference between when we try and do it over the phone

versus just sitting in the same room for three hours. The difference is when we do it over the phone, you and I are usually sulking at each other within about 10 minutes, changing each other's riding constantly on a shared dock. When we're doing it in the same room, we're hyping each other up going, this is a great idea. Fuck, yeah, this is awesome.

And it just flows. And then you look at what you've written an hour and a half later, and you're like, wow, anybody would read or watch this. This is amazing. And you look at the Google shared dog and go, I still don't like Patrick's writing. Right.

And hang up. Yeah. Yeah, it's, we're pacing around. The energy's through the roof. We're high-fiving. So, yeah. So Retep and I have been throwing around a bunch of different ideas.

We're looking at different cameras and figuring out the post-workflow. I think, I think realistically. So this is what, number 63? I don't know. Maybe by 67 or 68, I think we'll be operational. I think that's a good goal. I think so. Yeah, so I got, we got a spare room at the house here. I think what I can do is build that out as a little studio, set up a nice table, a couple chairs. Dude. We'll just go for it. Make it rad. Absolutely. Fuck yeah. I like that. I mean, we'll come up. Retepp will do all the tech. You and I will act like we know what's going on and just sort of mill about. There we go.

Same things I do when the camera guys are working really hard on a shoot. I'll go to my Pelican case and open it up so the back of the pelican is to them. And then I'll just. sit there like texting or something, but it looks like I'm working on stuff while they're busy. I think I've seen you do that on Extincter Alive. Yeah, yeah. They're like, don't bug forest. He's prepping his gear. And I'm like playing Angry Birds. And I'm like, look up and I'm like, and then back to Angry Birds.

Yeah. And then that way, they totally leave me alone. Oh, by the way. Angry's too. You're like fucking like the way that you would be looking at the phone is very specific. Like pulling back the thing, like watching the thing fly away. Yeah, they don't know. They don't know.

They think I'm prepping gear. They think I'm building some kind of contraption or trap or repurposing cutting-edge technology. I'm an angry bird and I'm slicing fruit over there. Yeah. Dude, when the camera guys are doing their thing, which I don't know if people who don't work in production know how much time this shit can take, even with great camera guys that are really fast, it's just there's shit, some fucking dust got beneath the lens and they're doing the stuff. Sometimes I feel like Ricky Jervais's character from the original office. Like I'll just be kind of walking around the camera team. I'm just like, ah, lens.

Nice lens. Cool. Cool. Yeah. I've seen him do it too. Patrick will walk up and go, variable ND. And then just walk off and I'm like, I know he doesn't know what those words mean. But I've heard the camera guys say it enough.

But in my head what's going on is like, oh my God, 10 more seconds? 10, 9, 8.7. Okay, 10 more seconds now. Guys, what the fuck is going on? Please. God. That's how I feel fucking. in the podcast sometime when the tech difficulties start coming,

I have to like sort of keep my composure, like Pat's frozen, shit's going off the rails. And I'm just... No more, baby. Not in the new studio. Fuck all that. That's going in the past. I got one thing I want to say or play

because I have this cool new thing. It's from episode number one. Say or play, segment number one. It is when we were in person the very first time, and Pat was on his fucking A game. And it still makes me like, laugh. Here it is. What do you feed your dog besides your own dick?

Yes. And that was say or play, ladies and gentlemen. That was say or play. Like, you're literally, we're talking about some nonsense. And then I listen to the rest of it, of course, and you just dropped it in. I couldn't fucking stop laughing. I couldn't get out. It had nothing to do with anything. I'm sure. Of course not. It was just like a, he was

deadpan describing something. And he's like, so, uh, what do you besides your own dick? Well, hey, Forrest, I got a question for you. Yep. What's in the news? Oh, yeah. What's in the news? Oh, my goodness.

Boy, oh, boy. Welcome one. Welcome all. There is something in the news that I love. You ready for this? It's a murder. It's a murder. Okay.

Are you talking about an animal murder? Maybe something we don't care about, like a lizard got squash. Nope. I'm talking about a human being murder. There was a guy. He was murdered. I'm ecstatic. I love it.

Fuck this guy. I don't care. Sick fuck. I'm twisted. I don't care. Sidney Petros Amboza, who was the Kruger Rhino-killing Kingpin, the guy who has set up the most rhino poaching in the entire country of South Africa, was gunned down in broad daylight today. Oh, wow. And I couldn't be more happy about it.

We're talking, this is a bad motherfucker, okay? People don't really, people don't really understand this. And I want to dig into it for a second. Will, you can go on my Instagram and you'll see a couple pictures I've posted in my story today if you want to pull it up. So animal trafficking is the third largest black market trade in the world. It goes, I believe it goes firearms, drugs, animal trafficking. It's something like an $8.5 billion industry per year in the legal wildlife trafficking,

okay, $8.5 billion. If you think that like human trafficking or gun trafficking and drugs, human trafficking are the ones and animal trafficking is like a bunch of nerds that are like, here's a rhino horn. You're wrong. These are bad fucking people. They enslave people. They murder people. They are bribing governments. I mean, there's the motherfucker, right? You can see he's bad. He looks like the villain from Blood Diamond. I mean, look at that fucking guy.

Bad shirt too. Yeah. Terrible fashion sense. Is it an Izzod? I couldn't, yeah. It's Kirkland brand. And anyway, this was a bad guy. He had a whole lot of different people working for him. He was working for a Chinese mafia. He was the biggest rhino-killing kingpin. And Will, I don't know if you're on my page or not, but go to the next picture if you can. And you will see today he was traveling. The details aren't fully released yet, but he was driving around, gun down in broad daylight. You get to see the bullet holes in

the side of that exact vehicle that he's sitting next to right there. There it is, right there, came through the window, killed him point blank, stoked. Routing for murder, don't care very happy about it. This is a fucking superhero world. I want to see a universe like Marvel where you just have fucking anti-pocher superheroes who go around killing guys like this, dude. No, I'm all for it. I'm all for it.

I'm literally rooting for murder here and I'm okay with it. This was a bad, bad human being. Bad for humans, bad for animals, like just a bad person. He gone. He gone. Do they know who killed him? Was it like police or an anti-poaching unit or a rival? I believe they do.

I'm not, so this news broke about 15 minutes ago. So I think the details are, oh yeah, it literally just came out. Wow. And so the details, I think, are still very, very sparse, whether it was a rival gang, whether it was military, nobody seems to know at this point. All we know is that he's dead who was shot up in his car in broad daylight and these are the two pictures that have been

shared publicly. So I think there'll be a lot of details to follow. So this, you're right for us because this story is from 20 minutes ago. Yep. So the police said they're looking for help in locating the suspects. He had been in out of court, was currently out on bail

for being arrested in 2019 for the rhino poaching shit. So, yeah, if he was involved with mafia stuff, like, you know, anyone who's in courts at Target, right? Because they could name names to get out earlier and shit like that. Either way, fuck this guy. Now, what's your take for us? Is this just, you know, just like most organized crime when a kingpin gets killed, someone else steps up?

For sure. Someone else will replace him. It's not a problem that's going away tomorrow. That being said, we did talk about the 3D printed rhino horn the other day. Yeah, baby. It's not a problem that's going away tomorrow, but, you know, if you, if you said, hey, murder Hitler, you know, but will someone else step up? Yeah, maybe, but you still want to kill Hitler, right? Like, Hitler's not a sweet guy.

So that's kind of the good analogy. Well, there's a certain thing about these guys who run crime syndicates like this. They have a lot of power and influence. They scare people. Like, to, I mean, there's probably someone who was under him, but like, I mean, there's a reason that the head of the mafia. is ahead of the fucking mafia. He's probably killed or had killed like 200, 300 people. And it's like, you have to still like rebuild. It fuck shit up when the head guy goes down. And not just that, but, you know, he's been, this guy has been successfully, you know,

targeting Rino and being the head of the syndicate for going four or five years now. I'm not sure exactly how long. Regardless, that means he's smart. Like, I don't care who you are. You're, you're not running a big illegal operation like that unless you have, unless you're pretty smart, you have all these different ideas, blah, blah, sure, someone else might come up, but they might be a complete dufus. They might last a week. They might fuck it all up for everybody else. Like, this guy was a bad motherfucker

at the top of the food chain, and he's gone now, so that's a good thing as far as I'm concerned. Absolutely. So that's my favorite bit of news. Well, let's segue right to another related news story. Two new Javan rhinos

were spotted in the wild. Uh, two calves on trail cameras on the island of Java where you have been, right for us? I have. I have indeed. Oh, for the Javan Tiger episode. I was trying to remember what it was because I had Javan Rhino in my head. That's good news because there's, you know, the population's, you know, two digits worth. It's under a hundred. It's about 65, something like that. Okay. Yeah. And these are two calves spotted on trail cameras. What a good catch that is, man. Imagine if you checked your trail cams and saw two Java and rhino calves on it.

Absolutely outstanding. I mean, just think about it like this. The population of Java and rhinos just increased by like a known 4%. Just like that. In one trail camera image, you're like, whoop, there's a 4% increase in their population. Boom, instantly. Which might not sound like a lot, but that is a huge increase in population. Imagine if humans increased by 4%.

It'd be like 500 million. Exactly. So yeah, no, it's a huge piece of news. Java's an amazing place, man. I always have like a love, hate thing with Indonesia because there's so many animals there that are in so much peril. There's so much deforestation. There's so much overpopulation and pollution that it's like hard for me every time I go

there in the sense of like it's really picturesque as to like humanity's problems. And on the flip side of that coin, Indonesia, like the people are so nice. The country is beautiful. The wildlife is incredible and unique and endemic. And it's like, it's a weird, like, feeling when you go to a place and you're like, it's so fucked up and it's so wrong in so many ways. And at the same time, it's so beautiful and so right in so many ways. And just to see, like, rhinos are not in good shape. You know, it doesn't matter what the species is.

They are not in good shape. So to see sort of this last holdout as these two calves were spotted, it's just, it's so hope inspiring. I absolutely love it. It's interesting that rhinos, because they're pretty much indestructible sans humans, right? I mean, do they have any other predators? Not really. Not an adult rhino, no. Yeah, I mean, that's fucking, that's like, that's sad and shows the state of fucking humanity, man. It's like a perfect illustration of just like what we're doing to the fucking world, you know?

These animals don't have any other predators. And something that you might not have considered, Peter, anything that doesn't have predators is incredible. incredibly susceptible to over predation, to population collapse, right? It's like Great White sharks. Like, they're the same. It's like all of a sudden there were nearly none of them left, and now their numbers have bounced back. But it's because when you're an apex predator, and it's not that rhinos are an apex predator,

but when you're at the top of the food chain and you don't have any real predators, you don't have to put in all that energy into reproduction because your likelihood of dying is so slim. Sure. It takes so little to wipe out giant populations of these species that have no predators because they can't reproduce fast enough, you know? If you try to kill all the rats in New York City, good luck. You can't do it. It's impossible, right?

If you kill a million of them tomorrow, they'd all be back in three weeks because they have that ability to breed like that. If you went into Java and shot two rhinos, the same two that we're looking at here, you just decreased the population by 4%. You know? So, like, it's just crazy how little it takes to wipe out these species that have no natural predators. So, Forrest, I was actually not just texting. I was doing a quick pat's math about Java on my calculator on my phone. When you were in Java, I mean, I, you know, I wasn't on that shoot. Was it, like, insanely densely populated that you noticed?

Certain areas, yeah, the cities are crazy populated. I, like, man, I remember my first trip to Java, like, we got into, I can't even remember the name of the city anymore, but this crazy, busy city, you know, it took like two and a half hours to get out of the city because there's just a sea of mopeds. There's just moped traffic everywhere. Like, it's crazy. And it's like stop and go, stop and go, stop and go. There's like people everywhere.

There's a guy shitting on the street, like right in front of you in the gutter and pulls up his pants and keeps walking. And you're just like, this is hell. And then you get outside of that. And where we were in particular in Java, you couldn't find a person if you're, life depends on. Like, if they dropped you out in the middle of that region that we were in, good luck ever making it back to civilization. I mean, it's just crazy. Well, you want to do some fun math and play a quick guessing game about Java? Okay. Just Pat's math? It is Pat's math. Pat's math. Pat's math. So Java is just,

it's not a huge island, right? It's just under 50,000 square miles, right? So it's, the population of Java is 140. 35 million people. Wow. That's wild. So, if you took the population density of Java and put it in just the 48 states of the continental U.S., what would the population of the U.S. be if we were as crowded as Java is? Just guess. What was the size of Java again, did you say?

No, I'm not going to tell you again because I see you getting ready to Google and that's not in the spirit of this game. I'm literally not. You gave a tidbit about it. 50,000 square miles Java is. Okay. Right. Okay. So I'm going to say if we did that ratio, there would be, I'm going to say a billion people in the United States.

Okay. Retep? 50,000. I'm trying to think. You don't know. You don't know how big the U.S. is. Stop. What is that?

It's like the size of Illinois. So let's just say times 40, 125 million times 40. Let's go, whatever that is. What is that, Pat Smith? That's about, that's about $5 billion. So. Let's go $5 billion, baby. All right.

So if... Oh, and the dice. If the U.S. was as densely populated as the island of Java, which has all these cool endemic species, we would have more people than currently exist in the world. We would have 11 billion people living in the U.S. I thought I was guessing high with a billion. That's crazy. Think about that.

I mean, we have Chicago, New York City. I mean, every time I try to go anywhere in L.A., it takes an hour and a half because there's too many goddamn people. Imagine if we had... And the U.S. only has 300. million people. Imagine if we had 11 billion people in the U.S. I prefer not. I mean, there's so much empty space in the U.S. though. I mean, like you talk about Montana or North Dakota, South Dakota, you have just like vast swaths with no people. You got to like, even the desert or Joshua tree,

but these, but then you have all the, it's condensed so much. And of course, where we live, that feels like that density is here already. And it sounds like that's what forest is saying Java was similar, but just thinking about that, it really is hard to believe that any of their species are still around with that much, that many people. Exactly. No, it's, it's, and that's what I was saying about the problem with Indonesia. It's crazy. It's beautiful.

There's way too many people. There are great spaces, but everything's in peril there. It's wild. And yeah, no, there's just too many people, man. I know, did you guys see this? Nat Geo put out a thing that said it's racist to now say that. Have you guys seen this? That there's too many people?

Yeah, so I'm not going to go on a racist rant or anything here because or rather a racist rant. I'm not going to go on like a what's PC rant or not. But I got really annoyed by this, right? So what was it? Two, three months ago, National Geographic, which is the society, you know, it's a lead, a world leader in sort of putting out good, notable publications that you can depend on. They're one of their big scientists, and I'm probably but it's probably like Smithsonian or something. but I'm pretty sure it was Nat Geo and I'm pretty sure it was one of their top scientists, put out this thing and the statement was basically, for lack of a better term,

it's racist to now say that we are overpopulated as a planet. And I was like, what is, like, this is ridiculous, because it's not a matter of race. We're all people, right? So I start looking into it and I see Patch Googling it so hopefully you can find it. I was trying to find it, but yeah, this is nonsense. You'll find it. Anyway, I start looking into it. And the justification for it is because the places that are most overpopulated are developing nations or third world countries or whatever you want to call them, places like Indonesia.

So if you say there's too many people, in theory, you're pointing a finger at, you know, people that are less affluent or wealthy than yourself as a Western nation. And I was just like, fuck you. This is so stupid. Like, there's just too many people. Like, it doesn't matter what your skin color is, your gender, your ethnicity, your ID, where you live on. the planet, there's just too many people. Like, why are we trying to back down from that? And, like, why are we being socially sensitive to a global problem?

When we get too, too many people, we all die. So why are we trying to be socially sensitive in a case where nobody socially has a problem with it? Like, it's just such a weird thing to me. Well, it's, it's like facts aren't facts anymore, man. No. No, it's the whole, it's the same thing that's going on, you know, culturally, throughout, basically I think because of the internet, everybody wants to have some form essentially

of popularity. It's a way of gaining notoriety by picking these seemingly nonsensical positions to argue, you know, and then just push them. And now it's a thing. And the more clout you have, the more people you get behind it. And then it's a thing now. That's how the world works. Are people going, yeah, you're right. This is social injustice that could literally kill us all, but like, we got to get behind this. Like, are people actually thinking that way? I don't know the answer. I'm not. So when I just Google, when I just Google that, I didn't find the article you're talking about, but I found one from Sierra Club, which is another, they're a conservation organization, right? Sierra Club. And they're great from my, every interaction I've

ever had with them. They're awesome. They're making the same point, and they're actually saying that the overpopulation myth. And they're talking about how it's a myth that the world is overpopulated and how it's, you know, there's racial overtones to make that statement. A myth. Really? Yeah. That's so crazy. I'll read it.

Look, I'll read it and maybe we'll talk about it next podcast if we realize that they make some good points or that we're wrong. But how could you say it's a myth? Look around. It's a fucking disaster out there. There's way too many people. Jesus Christ. The problem is, the problem is logistically that you could feed the entire world with all the resources we have in the world, but logistically and the way that humans are, we're

divided into countries and sections of territory. And it's not possible to, you know, yeah, sure, we could, we could fit fucking 30 billion people on the planet if every piece of space was inhabited. Right. But it doesn't work that way. But also, and, you know, I don't know if you know what carrying capacity means retap, but like, what is the carrying capacity? I can guess. So caring capacity means, you know, how many people or how many creatures can live in an environment and thrive without it collapsing, without the, you know, without the environment collapsing. So like, what is the carrying capacity of the planet, you know? Sure, maybe it's another 10 billion people. But at what cost is, are we worth all living in a terrible, terrible way, you know, with no space and no ability to kind of enjoy life and all of our animals gone and our air polluted and our riverway is destroyed?

So that I can have six kids? Like, is that really what we want? Like, it's crazy. I don't get it. So, like, why say that this is insensitive when it's just a problem that we can combat very easily through education and just being like, hey, let's not all have 12 kids, you know, have one or two children? Like, that's it. Like, that's it. And the thing used to be, I mean, you know, people had, they needed to have large families because they provided for themselves on farms or whatever.

They needed the hands to help the family and the community survive. That's not how the world works anymore. And in many places, it's not how it works anymore. And there's no real like survival reason that you would need to have that many children because, you know, they're all surviving. They're all surviving to adulthood now, you know, before you had six kids, five of them were eaten by things, you know, and then one of them made it to adulthood. You're like, all right. You know, now you have six kids and you're, you know, now you have six kids and you're, you're like, wow, now they're all adults and I'm still, I still get nothing out of this.

Yeah. Well, Forrest, I thought this was cool. One of our very cool Brosner's, Dominic Haynes, who always sends us interesting stuff, sent me an article. I thought this was awesome. So in the Indian Ocean, they sent some little acoustic devices down to the bottom because apparently someone, they think some country had dumped some nuclear bombs like during the Cold War. that might have been sitting on the bottom of the ocean floor in the Indian Ocean. And so I don't know how they were going to use acoustics. I don't know how that works.

But anyway, they discovered sonar. They got all these acoustic signals and recorded this large population of pygmy blue whales that were all kind of hanging out very deep. Obviously, you know, whales have to come to the surface. But it's a subspecies of blue whale that caps out at about 79 feet. So, you know, they're tiny. Oh, that's super cool. Yeah, at least 20 of them that are hanging out together in this one little location of the Indian Ocean, and they recorded a bunch of their songs and stuff.

I thought that was really, first of all, didn't know there was a pygmy blue whale. Did you actually know that? No, I did not. I'm not going to lie. No idea. Yeah, because I'm kind of curious, why would there be a pygmy blue whale, right? Because you see pygmy stuff oftentimes on islands because they're living in a specific area. Does that mean these whales have probably been living in this?

one area for a really, really long time, many generations? Yeah, you're referring to insular dwarfism. And what that is is when something's stuck on an island, there's not enough resources, so they get smaller and smaller in order to continue to survive, right? Like, there's no reason to be big because I'm stuck on an island and I don't have enough food. So maybe, you know, what's keeping these pygmy blue whales in this location? Couldn't tell you.

Currents, food source, mating behavior, who knows? You know, blue whales are incredibly intelligent. This could be a choice of theirs. but over generational time, maybe there's not enough food to support them there. Maybe there's not enough upwelling. Maybe with global warming, though the water's too warm for all their blubber. And I don't know, but they could have easily... I know that feeling.

They could have easily just sort of shrunk based on their environment. But no, I had no idea there were pygmy blue whales. I had no idea that they found them looking for nuclear waste. It's very interesting. It's fucking crazy the shit that happens out of other endeavors that us humans do. Like, who would have thought, like, searching for nuclear waste, found this, you know? That's fucking pretty sweet.

Well, speaking of, you know, shit that other humans do, one of my favorite things we do, when Patrick knows about this a lot, is repurposing technology for wildlife science, right? We use military drones, and we get hunting gear, and we use all these different things and apply them to wildlife science. And it's amazing. Well, a group of scientists in Australia, and I think I just wanted to say this word, more than anything. A group of scientists in Australia invented the world's first Wombot. That's right. It's a Wombot. Okay. So can I guess what it is first?

Please. Yeah, please. Come on. Even I guess this one. Is it a robot that's shaped like a wombat? You got it. It is a robot wombat that goes down borrowing into wombat tunnels to do research on them. And I just thought this was so fantastic. First of all, this is a good thing. thing to do, right? All borrowing animals are hard to study their natural history because they're borrowing. They're underground. So it's super cool to know what they're doing, why they're doing it, investigate their burrows, check for health, blah, blah, blah. But this robot was literally designed to explore these tunnels in order to research their behavior of the mites, right? So not actually the wombats themselves, but of the dangerous species of mites that are causing them the wombats to die of

mange. So this technology actually gives us a look into the place where humans couldn't go in order to see how mites are behaving when not on the surface. So it's just, I don't know, the whole thing's just kind of fascinating. You got this little robot, goes down into the tunnels, peeps out these like snooze and wombats, checks the mites on their skin to see how bad they are, whether they're getting mange, whether they're dying, and just monitor their health in general. And it's just, it's like the coolest technology for like the coolest kind of purpose. I love it. All right. And so you've got this robot that looks like a wombat, right? Yep, wombat.

So let's anthropomorphize this for us. Let's say you're hanging out at the beach, just showing off your impeccables, and you're just down there getting real sunburned, per euse, and this other person just walks up to you, and you're like, oh, this just looks like another dude, bro. He's probably just going to say hi and give me a high five. And then he just came up, and then like a little device came out of his chest, and he just picked a couple of things out of your beard

and then went away. Wouldn't that throw you off? That would definitely throw me off my game. I'd be very confused about the interaction we just had. He says nothing. He just looks me dead in the eye, pulls a few things out my beard, turns around, walks away.

Would you even tell anyone or would you just be like, no one's going to believe this? No. You just think you're crazy. You can't tell people that. It's like all the people that think pigeons are robots. Like, you can't go out and say. that, you know. Is that a thing?

You don't know about the pigeons are robots? Oh, yeah. That's a big thing. That's a thing. Oh, dude. Do me a favor. Retep. Next time you take a walk around your neighborhood, look at the flyers on telephone polls. This is everywhere. It's everywhere. Dude, people are putting up posters about the government-controlled

pigeons and the pigeons are robots. It's a thing. It's like a huge thing. Holy shit. So can I just, because I know a little bit about this? Okay. I know nothing about it. So declassified. I know everything about it. Declassified CIA, not the agency CAA, CIA documents.

Yeah. From 1970, so we're still in the Cold War. You know, they had lots of ideas. Not all of them got done. And so a lot of conspiracy theory comes from those. But there was an actual plan that was being discussed, which was to build basically surveillance pigeons and have them about because we were, you know, back. during the Cold War, we're fucking spying on everybody, right? Yeah, yeah.

So it was an actual thing, and this got declassified, and I think that got people to thinking. Then you go out, you go down to the beach, and you watch those pigeons, and boy, are they weird, man, the way they move. They're just like little dinosaurs, and you're like, man, could that be a robot? Legit, legit, no shit.

Sitting at the beach, I told you I was there yesterday. There was two pigeons just hanging out, just two, and all the, like, seagulls everywhere. But just these two pigeons that were fucking hanging out. We were there for hours and hours. They would go. They would come back. And, you know, dude, the way they walk, the way, like, every time they take a step,

their fucking heads are going forward. It's very fucking strange because I was, like, focused on it. I was like, these are fucking weird-ass creatures. Yeah, they were probably watching you, son. Dude, there is a whole, we can do a whole podcast on animals in wartimes because there is some fascinating stuff. Yeah. Machine gun mounted elephants.

trained orangutans, like crazy stuff, crazy stuff. But one of my favorites, because I once went down a pretty deep wormhole of this stuff, and I didn't know about the, right, why not? And I didn't know about the declassified pigeon intel, but one thing I did find that actually was somewhat successful was spy kitties. So the Russians in the Cold War, have you heard about this? No, but it sounds great. Yeah, spy kitties.

They go and get like street cats from the area, because cats always return to their own, their same basic ranges, right? So they go and like nab up street cats off of the, off of the streets where they thought like important meetings were going on, especially in the Cold War. That was like the golden time of espionage, you know, so everybody was getting checked and they were checking the rooms for bugs. Anyway, these Russian guys would scoop up these cats, take them into the lab, implant recording devices in their ears, like not like on the collar, but literally inside of the cat wired into something in their stomach and then let the cats go. And these cats would be like prowling around these back alleys.

Here you go, right here. Antenna wire. There it all is. In the, oh, it's brutal. Yep. Microphone in the ear, antenna wire along the spine. There it is. And they'd let these cats go.

They'd go, you know, be alley cats, and people would be having these secret meetings in back alleys. And then they go scoop up the cats again and pull all the shit out of them and listen to it all. Forrest. When you were, when we had BTG on, I think Pat brought up or somebody brought up, there was back, way back in the day, what was it, like in the medieval times or some shit, it was similar, except they, uh, they went and they had a plan to get cats and fucking attach a sack of fire to the back of the cat and then set it on fire and send the cat back

into the town where it would go hide in a barn and set everything on fire. So the technology has evolved, but the Russian is very much. But the idea, the idea, the tech. Technology has evolved, but the idea has stayed the same. Yeah. Fucking humans, man. We're repeating history every couple hundred years. One last news story.

Then we can get into some games or something because this is, it's just right in the vein of what we're talking about. So we think of this. There you go. That's something, Will. That's it. That's the picture. He's still got it. We're talking about all these uses of animals in wartimes and espionage and all of that.

But did you know that in 1948, in Idaho, no wars. Idaho. Maybe against potato mites. 1948, Idaho, they once dropped beavers from planes in parachutes into the back country to try and help like the riparian habitat. True story. Parachuting beavers

into the back country of Idaho. This is a real thing. I'm not making this up. There is a video to prove it. There's a video? There's a video. Will's got to hold up. Oh, this is recent? Well, 1948. No, 1944. Yeah, yeah. Oh, they were in. Boxes.

Oh, man, the beavers are in boxes. I was picturing them just wearing a little parachute backpack. By the way, beaver and box, both derogatory terms for sexual organs. Here's the question, guys. So we're going to drop these. We don't have enough beavers. I have an idea. I'm going to drop these beavers in on parachutes.

I think that's the only way we can possibly get them there. These guys are in there. these guys just drive them in? Why do they have to parachute these beavers? I couldn't tell you. By the way, look at these beavers. Pat, you said you were terrified of this beaver.

These beavers look pretty docile. Are they, you think they were bred to be docile? They might have been shranked. Yeah, I'm sure these were hand raised for this specific purpose. A beaver that is, we've talked about this before. A non-friendly beaver is a very scary creature. You don't want to fuck with a wild beaver.

Not in a bedroom or in the world. Nowhere. Nowhere. Yeah. Yeah, Laura Zara was going down a beaver wormhole and she was on too because she went digging around in a beaver den that she thought was empty. And of course, there was a beaver in there that snapped at it. Oh, yeah. There's just like so many different jokes that can be made at any point in this conversation about digging around beaver and rabid beaubhole.

But this is a very mature show. That's why we call the listeners Brozners because we're absolute buffoons. By the way, some of the female, some of the female listeners have recently reached. out and said, you know, we'd appreciate a name that incorporates the females, you know? Yeah. Could we have the Brosner's and the whatever. I haven't thought of one yet, but we definitely need some submissions. If you got one, comment, drop it in our Instagram, something, YouTube, wherever.

Let us know. Guys, before we get into the game, I'd like to do just a very short, quick mini game. Go for it. It's just a question. Would you, I got to DM this. The buildup is not quick. Out with it. You know how I am.

Calm down. Positive. Would you rather be thrown in an enclosure with an angry Puma or a calm tiger? Oh, I know my answer. Yeah, I know mine. Go first. What is it? Calm tiger, because either one can kill me very, very easily.

Okay. I have seen people defend themselves against mountain lions, but I'm going to choose the behavior and go into the calm tiger, it's well fed, it just ate too much, it's just not feeling hungry or predatory. I'm going to, I'm going to go for that rather than trying to defend myself, because there's a chance of coming away unscathed, where the angry Puma, even if I survive, I'm going to the hospital. Right, right, right.

That's the only answer. You got to, you got to take calm tiger. Yeah, you got to take calm tiger. You always go behavior over anything. Dude, pissed off squirrel's going to rock your world, you know? Like, seriously. They're nuts. Oh, right after.

Just real quick before you answer, Retep, was taking a walk with the dog the other day. Just walking in a little suburbia here in the valley of L.A. And I just hear this commotion from about 20 feet away. And this squirrel just comes flying out of a hedge that's in front of this house. And I'm like, it just comes rocketing out. And it's just boom, gone up a tree. And I'm like, what the fuck's going on? And then this little orange tomcat just peeks its head out of the hedge was just in the middle of this five foot tall hedge.

I don't know what the cat was doing in there, how they came together in the same space. But I think that squirrel was really shocked when it started climbing this bush. And there's a cat. It's like, dude, this is my bush. Fucking. No, I mean, my thought was just that you're fucked either way, but you're 100, you have a, you're 100% fucked with the Puma. Like you've got at least a chance with the tiger or like a small chance. Yeah, no question.

No question. We're all in agreement. Yep. All right. Here it is. The Brosner's favorite game, full on game. This is on brand for us because we're a bunch of high-fiving dudes. Top three and DFL.

Is there no jingle for this, Peter? Wait, let me find. How about this? Oh, fuck. Top three and DFL. That was so serious. Okay, here's how this is going to go. I'm going to throw out a category.

Forest is going to go first. Okay. Peter's going to go second. I'm going third. Okay. You're going to name your top three favorite and your dead fucking last. Okay. Oh, yeah.

Brands of delicious ice-cold beer. Oh, I love it. I love it already. Great. So easy. Obviously. Yep. It's fantastic.

All right, here we go. I'm going first. Top three coming in third place. I'm going to get blown up. up for this don't care i love it it's delicious blown maybe yeah if i'm lucky um an icy cold blue is the rockies cores light it's great okay refreshing all right good choice refreshing it's watery it's easy to drink you think very little about it it's great like if you kind if you kind of put down eight cores lights or something wrong with you it's just it's easy to do great the problem with them though

is that they don't get you drunk so moving on i'll pick my i mean you have to drink no no no for It's amazing for us. He still doesn't understand how any of our games work. Forrest, what's your number two top favorite? Thank you, Patrick. Number two, hmm, yep, this is one that's a little bit out of the box, but I love it. Nonetheless, it's a fat tire coming in number two. Okay.

Is that an IPA? No, no, it's a, it's a logger. But I do not like IPAs, not one bit. Fuck, no. No, in fact, I have a theory that nobody. likes IPA. I'll circle back to that. I'll circle back to that. Number two, fat tire beer, absolutely delicious, can drink them all day long. Coming in number one, this is going to sound real bougie. I'm perfectly okay with it. There's a new bar that's opened here in Santa Barbara

called the Brew House that serves an Icelandic ale. Can't remember the name of it. It's all in Icelandic. It's kind of like a weedy white beer. Unbelievable. Like if I could replace water with this, it's all I would drink. I mean, it is the most outstanding tasting beer I've ever had. I'm going to have one tonight after rugby. I have one every Thursday night. Usually a leader, sometimes too. It's a tremendous beer.

And when you guys come up here, I'm going to take you there. I'm going to make you drink it. If you don't love it, we will, that'll terminate our friendship. Or you could order one at the Reykjavik airport, and it will only be $47, because everything in Iceland is six times more expensive than it should be. Yeah, I haven't been. I'm jealous. I think that might be it.

I think Will might have pulled it up. I might be that Einstock thing, but it's delicious, whatever it is. They have it on tap. Sounds like that. It's a treat. All right. DFL. Dead fucking last.

Yeah, this is an easy one for me. I'm adamant on this. It goes back to what I was starting to rant on. My dead fucking last is literally any IPA. They're disgusting. They're absolutely revolting. And I have a theory. I'm with you.

Nobody fucking likes IPAs. You just all drink them and pretend you like them because all the other hipsters think they're fucking cool and you tell each other that you like them. Because nobody likes that beer. It's disgusting. It's not good. Don't bring me an IPA. Don't offer it.

I don't want it. I don't need to taste Brussels sprouts in my beer. IPAs remind me of when I was a kid and my dad gave me a sip of beer and it was disgusting. It's the adult version of that. Exactly. It is. Dude, they're so gross. Yeah, zero question.

All right, Retep, you're up. Not bad picks, except for your Coors Light Pick. that's nonsense, sir. Great. So, go ahead. My, my, uh, my number three is going to be Modelo. It's delicious. I almost went from Modelo on three.

Real good. Dude, it's just got a nice flavor of full. It's got an actual flavor. It hits you a little bit. It's a little bitter, but it's just, it's, it's a fine beer. It's a beer, you know what I mean? Yeah. All right.

And then I'm going to go, uh, a number two and, uh, is, is Chameh. I don't know if you've ever had that. Is it the Indian beer? You get it with Indian food, I feel. It's got the pink elephant on it. It's on every menu. Comes in like a white bottle pretty big. But I mean, you drink one and you're fucking hammered.

I mean, and it's fantastic. And it doesn't taste bad. I mean, it tastes relatively good for a beer that strong. And it's not a fucking IPA. So I'll add that. So. What's number one top? I'm sorry.

Yeah, I mistake that. I was talking about Delirium Chiminsville White Elephant. kill you. Top one is, um, and my, my number one is, is a heffawizen. If I can love heffawizzen. Yeah, I love heffaweiser. The whole class of beer. Yep.

They all taste very similar with, with minor, well, I mean, maybe I'm offending someone. The ones that I've had have minor differences in. They all taste the same. They all taste like a blue moon. They're great. And they're, and they're, uh, and they're fucking delicious. They are. And, um, it's like the opposite of an IPA.

All my choices are based around. fucking anti-IPA. Nobody likes them. We're the only honest people left. That's three. True. And then my dead fucking last, and it is because it takes

55 million of them to get drunk and it tastes like water would be Keystone Light. I drank thousands of them in college and I can learn of it drunk from them. I haven't thought of Keystone Light in years. That's hilarious. It's college.

That's it. It is pissed. That is grotesque. McComb was the Keystone capital of the world, Nifty. Nifty held the title. by Keystone, where I went to college. So, mine quickly, number three, favorite,

Blue Moon for all the same reasons. I mean, you know, you get the slice of orange. It reminds me of being at like a hotel pool. No farts? Bad farts, though. Never once in my life. You've never farted? Okay. No.

Number two, favorite, which I do legitimately believe is the second best beer ever created, Budweiser, not Bud Light. I knew you were going to say Bud Heavy. never been to your house and not had a bud heavy with you ever. Pat's been drinking butt heavy since I met him. Can you admit that they're good for us? Or do you not like them? They're great.

No, they're delicious. You don't like them, retive? Oh, no, no, no. I like them. They're just a thousand calories. It's a real meal in a can. You know, like, you drink 20, you're like, I am full. They used to send them out with the Army as one of those MRA packs or whatever they're called for their sustenance.

And my number one right here. That hair, boy. Oh, shit. A bankman. banquet. That's Lord's Banquet. No, I've actually been shoeing Lemley the cat back inside so she doesn't escape. People love Lemley.

Let her out. I also didn't know you had a Coors Banquet hat. That's a hell of a call. It's fresh. It's fresh for us. It's new. Yeah. Number one, if you've never had a Coors Banquet, honestly, go get some.

They come in a little short, cute bottle. They're super delicious. It's basically like a bud-heavy, but just a little sweeter. Dead fucking last. Absolute worst beer ever created. Comes in a green bottle. And my theory is that the green bottle skunks them during transport. Heineken.

Wow. That was almost on my top. The wife beater. The old wifebeater beer. Is that what? No. No, that's a real thing. What is it?

Heineken is from England, I want to say. Right? I think maybe Germany. I don't know. Heineken sounds like German. German. German. I think it's German beer.

So, Heineken in Germany then, wherever it is. That's my guinea file. Sorry. Oh, okay. At least it's an animal. This is an animal podcast. I thought it was somebody riding a stationary bike. No, they're super obnoxious.

Goodbye. Yeah, so anyway, Heineken is in Germany. I think you're right, because if it was English, this wouldn't make sense. It is known as the wife-beater beer. And the reason being, it's got like more hops or more something in it. I don't know beer brewing at all other than the one time we tried to do it in the frat-hast tub that guys used to take shits in. Yeah, it's bad. Fucking despicable animal.

No, it's awful. Anyway. God damn it. Go away, guinea fowl. They're keeping, you know, my office is a garage? They're keeping it open because they keep walking in the office and triggering the sensor. They are definitely your least favorite of all of your animals, those guinea fow. I'd like to eat them all.

Like, I'd like to just barbecue them all at once. Anyway, Heineken is known as the wife-beater beer because apparently it skunks up the hops or the yeast or something in it is higher than any other beer, which apparently triggers certain men to be more. aggressive. Guys go out, they drink the skunky beer, go back, beat their wives, got the name the wife's beat her beer. Jesus. Don't sue us, Eichin. He's not saying it's a fact. He's saying that's what people say. But it tastes bad. That is a fact. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Tell us what yours are. Post them in the comments. We love to hear from yeah. I like that. I like the, I like the applause. Like our DFL game deserved applause. They stopped clapping really quickly. I cut it out. It wasn't

that good. Fated down next time, son. Can we... Fuck off. Now we'll listen to the entire 30 seconds. No, we shall not. I think we should get into the big one and only. The big VR. It's VR? 100%. Yeah. For Tep, you got a cool sound effect

that isn't my obnoxious guinea file that are currently in my office. Boy, oh! Nice. Very official. It was. Yeah, it was. We should record some of those when we're in a studio so that he can lay them over the sort of sound effects. That'd be fun. Yeah.

We could do this. We'll do this one next. That's Pat's Blue Whale noise. All right. This one's special. Set it up. Set it up. I know we got a special one.

Yeah, this one's special because one of the perks of the Patreon, honorary producer and honorary broologist tears is that there's a voicemail. You can go and you can leave us fucking voicemails. And John Texera left us a battle royal voicemail. and we're gonna fucking do this battle royale and I'm gonna play the voicemail right now. Thanks John Teshera. You guys taking me about 10 times

to do this email without fucking up so let's try this again. You're gonna race. And you're gonna race like the Looney Tunes used to race. Point A to point A circumnavigating the globe. So you guys, food's taken care of, water's taken care of, you got a posse coming with you but they're not gonna help you get anywhere.

They're gonna be 10 miles behind and you guys get one vehicle each. You're all getting low. same vehicle and the vehicle can only go one single speed but it's a decent speed you know you're not just only gagging but this vehicle can go over water sand ice mountains you can get over whatever you want on this thing but you can only go one speed i like it you guys are all going in a strut line to race okay but here's the catch you get no phone you get no GPS you get nothing but three navigational skills from animals around the globe extinct or extended to help you get

it from point A all the way around the earth back to point A. Navigation. I don't know if you know the navigation skills of extinct animals, but if you pull something right out of your ass, you can go for it. Oh really? You don't retap of all people? Listen, fuck off. I'm definitely going to

win this one out of the box style. I've already got plenty of ideas. Okay. Thank you, fucking John Texier. So basically we have Teshera. How do you know? You're not even looking at. English is my first language. way.

Anyway. All right. I got it. Anyways. Recep, since you have a great idea, why don't you go first? Kick it off. Snick draft. Line it up.

Line it up. Well, all right. So I'm going to, uh, I'm going to take the navigational ability of, because it's interesting, I will use, uh, the ability to find magnetic north that birds can use. Any more specifics? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Fuck you. You can't just take all. Birds. Well, I'm going to take... Forrest, give me a bird that has very acute magnetic north homing abilities. Warblers. North American... I have a North American warbler, sir.

Very good. You definitely didn't just steal mine. Sorry. Okay. Very good. All right. Very good. I'm going to go next because...

Forrest knows the most. Yeah, go ahead. I'm going to take Bat Vision. I'm going to take the sonar. capabilities of a bat that they can use to find their way around in the dark. The reason I want this very specific skill is because I don't sleep as much as both of you do. I only need about three hours of sleep a night. You don't sleep. It's not as much. So I'm going to be traveling during the night a lot. And I don't know if this vehicle has great headlights or whatever.

So I will be using my sonar bat vision to see my way around, make sure I don't bump into anything, drive off a cliff, that's going to be mine. Okay. It's very good. Very good. So I'm going for a couple different options here, okay, as we all are. I'm going to start mine similar to Reteps, but the longest migration of any animal in the world is a bird called the Godwit, which is from, it migrates from Alaska to New Zealand and back, which is roughly 7,000 miles without stopping. Damn, laying down some facts.

Yeah, it's ridiculous. So I'm going to add the Godwit for its navigational sort of endurance to the start. Okay, so he's going to help me. He's going to have to be flying overhead. Got a Godwit overhead. Okay. Now, second to that, got Godwit in the sky, second to that, because this is how a snake giraffe works for TEP, elephants are incredible.

They have amazing memories, and they use, what is it called? BTG and I actually discusses. It's non-directional navigation. It's like looking for landmarks, like landmark-based navigation. And they're able to navigate huge migration patterns. Back before there were fences and things, they'd navigate from South Africa all the way up to like, let's see, all the way up to like Kenya, Tanzania, and back down to thousands of miles. It's like across the United States without getting lost. So I've got a Godwit overhead.

I'm riding on an African elephant, which is using its landmark navigation. and those are my first two. Okay. All right. Very nice. I'm going to take the internal compass of a bluefin tuna. Okay, this is an animal that swims really fast, never stops swimming its entire life, right? Just swims around the world and has an incredible internal compass, knows where it is,

have predictable migration patterns. True. They come to certain areas to feed, spawn certain times of year, even though, they circumnavigate the globe in their lifetime. I'm just going to take that. I'll always know where I am. I'll never be lost. And because I'm really fast,

I'm going to need it. Bluefin tuna navigation. You'll have sushi on demand if you need it as well. That's absolutely correct. Yeah. Gosh, sushi. Okay. So I have five picks now.

Is that how this works? All right. Same as always. So I'm going to pick. And first of all, I just want to clarify. So we're right. racing and we're building the best basically race entity. So like...

Don't overthink it. Just, no, I'm just saying. Like, I wanted to be clear that the winner of this battle royale wins in a race with these abilities. So it's like me and I have these abilities or whatever.

Right? And you or whatever. So my, my next ability is going to be because I'm used to this. And I think all humans are. And it's visual cues or lands. landmarks, which wasps use to navigate. So very easy, simple, rudimentary.

How much Googling did you do to figure that out? I've been Googling since I listened to the voicemail two days ago. Makes sense. Yeah, that adds up. And then finally, I'm going to go back to an old friend of mine, and this is definitely going to win me, the race. Herpes, mate. All I'm going to do is infect from animal to person to whatever.

it doesn't fucking matter. And I will spread. That's different to your daily life? Listen, I don't understand. I will spread. I will spread from fucking, from person to animal to mammal, all the way back to point A around the world

faster than you could ever conceive, sir. Okay. That's it. Wasps, herpes, and birds. The Warbur specifically. Okay, another. Good job, pretend. Winner.

Winner. Yeah, you tried. Yeah, you tried. I am known. I win. By many in the Brewster community for having a very sort of sharp, sort of sharp pointy nose. Some might say it even looks a bit like a beak. So I'm going to take a skill that will be useful for someone with a sharp beak.

I'm going to take the homing abilities of a homing pigeon, which have obviously, look, it's called a homing pigeon because they always know we're magnetic. North is they have tiny magnetic particles in their beak that they're able to use to detect the North Pole from wherever they are. And so all I'll have to do is kind of stick my nose up in the air. Smart. Which would be nice because I like to smell the smells when I'm traveling and the fresh cut grass too. It's also really easy for you to do. Yeah.

I mean, you do it regularly. I mean, I'm doing it right now without you even knowing. That's all you ever do is having nose high up in the air. So I want the beak particles of a homing pigeon, and that's going to help me wins a race. Like that. You can't outrun herpes, mate. Horace. Very nice.

So you both went with magnetic navigation, which of course was going to be my third one. So I'm going to have to mix it up. European eels are an interesting creature because they will go way up rivers to spawn, no, sorry, to mate, and then way down into the deep ocean to reproduce or give birth, and then die. And for some completely unknown reason, this multi-hundred up to... thousand mile migration takes place where the babies never get lost and know exactly where to go where their parents were before them and yet we know nothing about how they're capable of knowing this or their navigational ability so i'm throwing in a wild card i'm just going with eel navigation

we don't know how it works it's literally like a blank piece in scrabble it could be anything it could be it's the perfect way to describe it we nobody science has no idea how this works we kind to explain it we kind of understand it but i'll tell you this they know how to get one place, that's for sure, and I'm hoping it's from point A to point A as our brusiness. I mean, so here's the thing, and this is the first and only time I'm ever going to do this. Don't even bother voting. I mean, For us just won. Because what he just did was he just took the innate ability in his DNA to know exactly where he's going.

That's right. He needs nothing else. That's right. It's basically a cryptid ability, man. And these, these freshwater eels are in a larval stage. They don't even look like an eel when they're doing this. They look like this little, yeah. Is that what it's called an elver?

Yep, they're little sperms, basically. Okay. By the way, that might be the weirdest thing in the world. Isn't that crazy? It is pretty crazy. We'll pull up to Google Elver and pull it up so people can see what this crazy thing is like. And then Google herpes and pull that up. Don't do that.

Don't do that. So contrary to what Papa P said, let us know who you think won the BR. Retep with his warbler, Wasp herpes combo. Yeah, baby. Woo! Pat with his bat vision, his bluefin tuna navigation, and his homing pigeon nose. Yeah.

And myself, with the Godwit. Yeah, look at those weirdos. Look at those little weirdos. The Godwit flight, the African elephant navigation, or just the real wild card of the European eel that none of us can explain how they know where they're going or why. Here's a challenge, too. I'm going to challenge our brosters because. we have the best community on the internet

of people who are passionate about this shit and they always impress me with what you know. If you can think of something weirder in the entire world in any genre than these little warblers or I'm gonna have to kill my cat that's weirder than them knowing

because she's trying to escape. Post something weirder, I'm going to go save this cat's life real quick. Retsap, do the thing. Where can you find us tell people. So where did, hey, most importantly, where did that be our submission come from, Retepp? I don't know. Yes, that's right. That came from the Patreon. It is a perk for the honorary producer, honorary broologist, uh, levels, tears, whatever you want to call them. You can find the Patreon at patreon.com forward slash wild times pod. In fact, I think every link we have is forward

slash wild times pop. So go to Instagram, go anywhere and put that and we'll be there. Uh, If you want, links to all the links, go to the Wild Times Podcast.com forward slash info to find the video, the audio, Spotify, Google, Apple. The podcast is everywhere. Yeah. Get it anywhere you get podcasts, you idiots. And enjoy a Coors banquet while you listen for God's sakes. It's delicious. Not a sponsor, but come on, course.

But they should be. Listen, now we don't have to have an awkward out because I've been waiting to do this all fucking podcast. Beedip-bup. Bup, bu-de-de-de-de-de-de-d-d-d-bap. Wild times. That feels good. Nice. Good night, everybody.

Maybe making music. Oh, yeah. He still made it awkward.