Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #68 - Giant Goldfish, Definitive Proof of Underwater Aliens, & Snake Orgies

Episode Date: July 26, 2021

Tons of brostener DM's which evolve into bananas chaos! Battle Royale brostener artwork reactions. Plus everything in the title and a Battle Royale where we figure out how to chase hipsters outta Manhattan. You don't want to miss this one! Love you! Patreon @ https://patreon.com/wildtimespod All the links @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com/info

Just one. Just one, please. Let's get that jingle. Now. Wild Times. And we are back. It's the Wild Times. Episode number 68. We are in our beautiful studio.

That is thanks to the Patrions, who are subscribers. They have allowed us to have this beautiful place. It's also thanks to the end of COVID. Hey, I lived our frat. I lived in the basement. It looked just like this. We're black. I feel right at home. Don't neglect the people that are just clicking ads, man.

People are just clicking ads on the podcast. Videos, we're getting money for that, for the studio. I don't even know what that means, but that's good. Add click. Add. So you said ad. I thought you said, quick and ass. I have a bad Chicago accent. We are here. This is episode number 68. If you're joining us for the first time, this is the Wild Times podcast, a podcast where

me, Forrest Galante, the broologist and two very good buddies who I will introduce momentarily, talk about wildlife, animals, adventure, what's in the news, stories. We're highly opinionated, relatively undereducated, and overall have a really good time. Sure. We have two bachelor degrees between the three of us. Relatively undereducated. You could probably guess who's the other one. I have a master's degree.

Joining me tonight, speaking of education, is the one and only the professor of podcasts, the professor, Mr. Retepp. How are you, Retep? Professor, Professor. I have a full bachelor's degree in podcasting, you son of a bitch. All right, pig trash. I'm a little bit tipsy. I've decided I'm wearing this shirt for all of the rest of the podcasts.

Go to my website, pigtrash.com. There's nothing there. There's nothing there. It doesn't exist. It's just a suspended page. Yep, that doesn't work. All right. Wow.

Well, he's cut off for the rest of the show. Yeah, he's fucked. Joining me on the other end, the long-haired, the lovely, the bro-ducer, Mr. Patrick DeLucah. What's up, Pat? Hey. For all those people who aren't watching. I'm good, bro.

I'm excited to be here in Santa Barbara. We're going to go back to your house. Yep. Make some pizzas in the pizza oven and drink a whole bunch of drinks. It's going to be a treat. What a wonderful night. It's going to be. But before we do that, we're going to do a great podcast that everybody's going to really enjoy.

And you know what? I thought tonight, mine have been stacking up. It was Shark Week recently. people are reaching out. Things are popping off. I got Brosner DMs up the wazoo. Wazoo! Well, thankfully, they're all super fucking interesting, so let's hear them.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. Here we go. My first one, Colton M. Dalton says, and I haven't clicked this yet, so I'm pretty curious to see what's going on here.

I just clicked it. Thanks, Peter. Oh, for those who are confused about the new layout, we moved our monitor over here. Right. So that Forrest, who we all know you're mostly here to see, see him, doesn't have to turn around. We've replaced our monitor

with a lovely red velvet thing. But when we look over here, we're looking at our monitor. That's right. And you. You can't see all our faces. And you guys, yeah, just call out. What is Colton M. Dilton doing? Colton M. Dalton says, I think we need some explanation for this one, boys.

All right. That's it. Switch. And you put a link. Switch. Switch. So if you Google Forrest Galante's book in shop. Have your come? Lovely image of me and my book for sale.

directly next door to it, have your cum and eat it too. Explanation. Patrick? Okay, so here's the thing. This is, I have no fucking clue what a book about

have your come and eat it too. My guess is it's going to be somehow related to the evolution of male reproductive behavior. That's my only guess. Okay. Yeah.

Do we know? Do we know what this thing is? I've never seen this before one second ago in my life. What is it? What is it? Well, first of all, I've read it. the book three times. I believe that. Second of all,

Will and I, upon hearing about the launch of your book, have been SEOing this specifically so that it would show up in the results. That adds up. Next to your book for the past at least three to four months. You know what's interesting to me? You believe it. No, no. Listen, Patrick's looking up, have your company to two, but he's searching it on browsers for some reason and not on Google. I was assuming it was a lovely film. No, it's a fictional book. Okay. Set in 1981, two Mormon missionaries. are assigned to work together as companions in Napoli, and they have a gay romance.

Here's an interesting thing, though. It made me think of this. Brokeback mountains for Mormons. Brokeback Mountain for Mormons. Brokeback Mormons? Written in January of 2020. Why does it come up under your name? Couldn't tell you.

I didn't know. Somebody did this on purpose. I'm guessing it's the thylacine awareness group of all. It must be. It has to be. It has to be. It does not happen. I've been doing SEO for years.

This does not fucking happen. I swear to God. Have your come and eat it to it. It's too. Too perfect. It's pretty funny. Somebody did this. What were you going to say, Patrick?

It's such a fucking left turn. So back in like medieval Europe, when like someone committed a murder and was sentenced to death, they would make a book. They would basically make the person write a confession. Okay. And then they would bind the book in the human skin. It's called a skin book.

And then would give it to the survivors of the murdered person. So there are actually like these old, skin books. Obviously, I'm sure they're super degraded by now. I don't like the sound of any of that. Yeah, it's weird. It sounds terrible. Yeah, it's real quick, let me jump in here because I've got this one DM. How do you jump? Oh, I see, I see. I thought you're going to jump in on your own

comment. I'm like, you're already talking. Well, I could see Forrest opening his mouth. I was starting to like, he was getting excited. He was getting excited. Okay, sorry. My bad. Okay. Okay. Let's go. Dalton Voss. Yep. Sent me a picture. Now, he lives in Florida. Okay, Forrest.

He sent it to me. Yep. He was walking on the beach. He personally found this animal. And he was like, what y'all's think? I was like, I don't think anything. Let me see what forest thinks. Literally not capable of thought. Oh, boy, what a mess.

I know what that is. It is a mess. Yeah, it is a mess. What is it? It's very confusing. I know what it is. So before I explain it, why don't you guys take a stab at it? What are we looking at here?

Well, I, Pat sent it to me to bring up on the show. And I said, oh, thanks. A dead picture of a bird. and he goes, nope. And then I just labeled it, picture of not dead bird. Well, you're right about that part. It's clearly not a bird.

You are a bird brain. What is it? I see a beak. Is it a flounder or a fluke of some sort? I have no idea. Another very good guess. So what you're looking at, and I'm not sure the exact species,

I was trying to figure it out quickly. It is a frogfish, some kind of a frogfish. So Peter, go ahead and pull up frogfish, Peter, please, and put it in the images. Peter. And you'll see these fish, that walk and they have these weird appendages.

And so it's one of these species. Yeah. Let me see if I can figure it. Atonarius, logged. So would that be in the, that's something that would live in the Atlantic or the Gulf of Mexico? Correct. That's an oceanic fish. So see the little appendages that look like fins?

Yeah, where Peter's pointing. Exactly. So those are an adapted pelvic fin that they have changed, that was literally migrated over millennia down their body to actually act as little legs. And they will use those to walk along the sand instead of swim and use their tail to swim. So they kind of perch up, kick off, swim with their tail, land, walk a little. It's a four-month-old baby. Yeah, it's, it's a mess. It's like, you know, it's like an evolutionary missing link in a way. It's like between a fish and an amphibian. It's like, give that thing another, you know, 10 million years and it's crawling out of the ocean and

walking around. Good fine, Dalton boss. Yeah, very nice. I still think it's a bird. I still think it's a whatever. It is. You're right. Thank you. That's good. I like that. So I haven't opened this one yet

because I just find them fun to look at for the first time on the show. Okay. Rate, rap. I don't know if this is a play on you. It's got to be. Yeah.

Just says, no fucking thanks. And sent a link. Okay. Let's take a look. Let's take a look now. Oh, boy. Oh, I've been in this,

I know what's happening here. So if I was only listening, there's a guy in a very large tent. Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. Big male lion. Oh, my God. A set of balls.

Is looking at the guy through his tent, poking at the tent with his paw. This is, by the way, if you're listening to this. Oh, shit, he grabs it with his claw and he's dragging the tent. Oh, his claws stuck in the tent. Yeah. Oh, this guy's in a bad spot. If you're listening to this, here's what's going on.

There's a video on the YouTube. We're showing you this right now. This is happening in Southern Africa. I can almost guarantee it. They're in a tent. There is a big male African lion. Quite malnourish. See how skinny he is?

those hip bones are sticking out. And that's a dangerous situation because the hungrier they are, the more likely they are to act erratically like this. This guy is in his tent. Oh, my God. Literally, the only thing between him and a very hungry lion is a mesh door. It's a video worth seeing. It's quite something.

Look at those nads. What do you think he's doing? I mean, is he flailing about in there, like trying to scare it away? I mean, he must be, right? What's the guy doing? That would be what you would do. You would make noise and be aggressive. And I know that seems very odd, but I don't know

what he's doing. I don't know if he's hiding, cowering in the corner or what he's doing, because you don't see inside the tent. He's probably just made diarrhea. Well, you see him at the end here. He runs out of the tent, too. Yeah, I'm sure that's long after the lion left. But what do you do? You run at the door of the tent and make noise and be really aggressive and try and make it stand down. Because the predator like that's not used to that. He's got cargo shorts on. Yeah. Well, it's crazy, though, that, you know, the guy's alive. Yeah. The guy lived to post the video. Yep. So that thin-ass piece of mesh was enough to, because you're right, it was a skinny lion. Right.

That lion might have thought this is a pretty interesting snack here. It's an easy meal. Wrapped in a nice little wrapper, you know, just sitting in the middle of the woods, not going anywhere. Very skinny. Like a delicious little burrito. Well, a nightmare. I only got one more good Browsner DM that I wanted to dig into. There are many others, but one more that's fun.

Okay. It came from at the chicken finger bandit. he says, how is this the most high-tech way to restock lakes? Seems like a cartoon solution. And the reason that I like this one is because I've seen it. I've been involved in projects where they deal with it. And what you're seeing, again, if you're only listening, is you are seeing hundreds of thousands of fingerling trout,

fingering being a very young trout the size of your pinky finger, being dropped as a payload out of the air from an airplane as they fly over alpine. lakes to stock them. In this case, in Utah. So those are all fish. Right. They're taking them up into these high mountain lakes, and they're dropping them out of the plane into the lakes, and the fish typically almost all survive, and restock

the lakes that way. Well, so his question is, haven't we, isn't there a better way with technology to restock lakes? I figure this is definitely the most economical way to do it. Are you kidding me? This is awesome, man. This is cutting-edge technology. Like these are lakes that don't have road access.

You can't just drive a big truck up there. Right. You know, what are you going to do at a drone? That's one trout at a time. Sure. Here we are using crop dusting airplanes, filling them up with specialized tanks that are pesticide-free, filled with water in these young trout, and having pilots so accurate that they can fly over the lakes and drop them all right in the water. I think it's amazing. Not to mention, yeah, I mean, it's a heavy-ass payload because you've got to have the trout have to be in water.

Right. So you're carrying a heavy payload. And also, how soon we forget. How soon we fucking take for granted the technology that's not brand new? Right. An airplane is the craziest technology that's ever been invented. I agree with you. It's ever been invented.

I agree with you. We get in missiles and go real fast. We can get to Australia by brunch tomorrow. Correct. It's nuts. Correct. So it's pretty high tech is what you're saying. I'm saying, even though that plane was from the 50s, that is some high tech shit.

No, I'm with Patrick on this one. I think it's a great method. By the way, there are multiple reasons they're doing this kind of thing with restocking lakes. Sometimes it's just for sportsmen and fishermen. Sometimes there are population collapses. Sometimes these lakes freeze over, so on and so forth. But I love it. I think it's great.

It certainly looks fucking cool. It's awesome. That's technology on the forefront keeping wildlife around. I think it's awesome. Well, Mr. Still Alive. By the way, I did start reading the book. Enjoying it? I skipped right to the part where I'm in it.

Okay. That makes sense. You're in like at least two thirds of it. Yeah, I skipped through the Zimbabwe. It's smart. It's good. It's well written. It's funny.

You're an asshole for saying that I said let's do brunch because I think you suggested the brunch. But it's your book. One of us said let's do brunch. No, it's actually really good. Let's be clear. We absolutely did. In typical L.A. douche fashion, right? That is how I describe it in the book.

Perfect. Typical Hollywood douchey fashion. He said, let's do lunch. Yeah, I said, let's do brunch. Yeah, I said that. No, but it's good, and I like that the writing's big, man. For me, if I open a book and it's tiny print, I'm not reading it. Was that your choice, or was that your editor?

It was just like, we got to make it big for Patrick or else you know. It was the only way I could read it. I'd have a lot of pictures. So it's like 2,000 pages with just like four words on each? It's a nice format. It's perfect. I was like, yeah, perfect. So anyway, wonder when I'm going to get my cup.

Copy. Mine's signed. There's one like right there. And I know. It's like, you know, you just handed one to pay. Sorry, it took me so long. We make a show called Extincter Alive. I'm kidding, by the way.

We may do it again soon. Dominic Haynes, classic Brosner sent this great article about a rabbit that is known as the Magic Rabbit. Okay. Magic Rabbit. Super endangered. In fact, has only really been,

was only discovered in 1983. I've never heard of it. It just says in the mountains north. I'll pull up a couple pictures here. I think when you Google magic rabbit. Oh, this is, I know what, this is, there's another name for these guys. Let's not just magic rabbit. It looks magical.

First discovered in 1983 by Lee Wiedong. Recent discovery. Not seen again. It hasn't been seen in 20 years. So it was discovered in 83. Okay. It was obviously seen subsequently. And then this is the first time it's been seen in 20 years.

God damn, that thing's cute. They're adorable. Very cute. I don't remember the proper name of them. It's not magic rabbit's like a... Sure. A term. It says in the...

Pica. It's a Pika. Pika? Yeah. Okay. Yes, this is cool. Spotted for the first time in 20 years. That's awesome.

I mean, they're crazy, like, stupid cute. It is truly one of the cutest animals on the planet. It looks like a Furby. It does. I was going to say, it's a Furby. Yeah. Look at the eyes. I mean, the eyes are just fucking so puppy dog.

They live way up in the mountains northwest of China. I love it. Which I don't know really. know what that means, but maybe that's Mongolia or something. I think it's adorable. I mean, look, anytime there's a rediscovery, it's the best, right? It's like, the thing about rediscovery

versus new species discovery is like, we found it, we gave up hope for it. You know, we don't think, we think it's gone. Right. And then bam, here it is hanging on, you know, figuring it's health out, which is just great. I mean, I love that. It's also just living up in the mountains being cute as shit. You know, like, this thing's life is awesome.

It doesn't even need us to know about it. No. It's like, you don't need us. to know about me. No. Look at me. I'm just busy up here looking in vernal pools for my own reflection and admiring how cute I am. I can bang anything I want.

So you just mentioned looking at your reflection in the water. Okay. So something's been brought to my attention because I have a bunch of friends who have babies. Okay. And everyone's like, yeah, the babies look like the dad and it's an evolutionary thing. Right. So the dad doesn't abandon it. I've heard this.

Uh-huh. There. Uh-huh. Okay. Versus the mom who shatted out. Right. Right. Sure.

Because that's the technical term. Yeah. During the time where humans were evolving, females were very promiscuous, they'd have sex with a lot of different males, so that more males would care for the offspring. And the idea is that, you know, if it looks like the...

But here's my thought. Fucking mirrors didn't exist. So is it... You know, because I'm like, I know what I look like, because I see a mirror every day. That's a good point. But this theory seems crazy to me

unless we're literally assuming that every cave person slash whatever, you know, we evolved from. looked at their reflection in water. They did. I'd never thought about that, though. I mean, they had to have been fascinated

by the reflection, man. I mean, it must have been... But did they know it was them, or did they think it was like a mysterious water ghost? They're not dogs. Yeah. That is interesting, though, because I'm very familiar with the whole

evolutionary concept of the baby looks like the dad, so the dad doesn't abandon it, blah, blah, blah. But, like you said, we didn't have mirrors until, what, a couple hundred years ago? Yeah, and like, you know, Yeah, obviously some people lived by stagnant water and used it to probably wash stuff or, you know, bathe if they did that, maybe to drink.

But I would assume a lot of, you know, early primates lived by rivers. And that was their freshwater source, which you can't really see your reflection in. You still don't know what you, I mean, I go to the Amazon or go to Africa. I don't know, I don't look in a mirror for three weeks. Right. I don't know what I look like. I mean, there's water around, but it's muddy water, it's turbulent or, you know, there's no. Yeah, I was just like, wait a minute.

This theory, everyone says it as if it's definitely true, but we didn't, I don't know that we knew what we looked like. Maybe you knew who your brothers were and you knew who your dad was or your mom, but like, that's a real mind tickler. It's a little bit of a fuck. It is because it's like you, it's really interesting because how do you know, I mean, even just taking the baby thing out of it, how, without mirrors, how do you know what you look like? you fucking don't you definitely think you look different than you actually do when you look in a mirror that's for sure in your own head totally i look this one way and then you see yourself like oh you're like i'm a train ride that's what i look like that's pretty good as i thought up here pretty brutal but my point is like we live in a society now where you look at yourself

every day right you get up in the morning brush your teeth in front of the mirror part of your identity is what you look like right and we're all you know we're all fucking uploading selfie TikToks all day long and staring at ourselves. And, you know, it's like, we know what we look like. But until very recently, even if you had access to that vernal pool to go and look at yourself, you weren't going over there six times a day to check your hair. Of course not. You know what I mean?

Like, that was nonsense. I think if you saw yourself even once, though, back then, you would, it would stick in your head forever. I disagree. You don't think so. No. If you knew it was yourself. I forget what I look like.

I swear to God. But it's just, it's like you just said, we're constantly looking at ourselves. we've seen ourselves a thousand times. If you only saw yourself once, you would be like, whoa, and it would like be a burned memory because... It's not really how memory works, though, to be honest. When you have, like, an awe-striking moment?

Well, you... I think Patrick's point is you change it, right? Of course. You change your perception of something over time. Literally, memories change. The way that you remember an event, so your picture of an event that happened when you were eight, right?

Whatever it was. You know, who the fuck knows? Your grandparents' house, whatever. Mm-hmm. is completely different than you remembered it 10 years ago. Right. But you would think, no, I know, I was there. It smelled like this.

It looked like this. Right. It's literally not how it works. They've done studies where they studied twins, right? Sure. And they would say, describe. So what happened? Okay, the day that your grandfather died on Christmas.

Right. Tell me what happened that day. Right. And they'll separate them. Right. And one's like, I remember vividly. We were eating French toast. my mom came down in pajamas

and I could tell that something was wrong but she waited until after we opened the presents and then the other twin will be like remember it was like it was yesterday my mom made his eggs and she came right to in and she was already dressed and I thought you know

and they're completely fucking different one's right one's wrong but they work or they might both be wrong because they both turned it into their own version they're most likely both I mean I think it's a little bit different with a human faces because for some reason it's so important in our society

and people remember faces when you see them up close? Can I argue with, can I debate that with you for a second? No, you cannot. Of course you can. Wait, of course you can. I will take your knife

and slit my wrist up, not on the vein part, but I'll give myself a little cut if you don't argue with him. Got it, got it, okay, then I'll, so definitely not going to argue, let's move on. I'll tell you why I don't believe that.

In my mind, my mother looks the same as she has my whole life. Okay? Tell me that I'm wrong. Tell me to you, you don't envision.

That's fascinating. She doesn't. Holy shit. Do you know what I mean? That's such a good point. Put a picture of your mom in your mind right now. Well, and also, when I look at pictures of my mom from when I was like eight, I'm like, whoa, my mom used to be young.

Right. But yeah, you're right. But in your mind. And your memory of your mom is just who she is now. There's a photograph in your mind of your mom forever. That's cool. I'm pretty sure my granddad, who passed away like 10 years ago, my grandmother was runner up Miss South Africa. So she was very, very beautiful and very vain and crazy and racist like all old white ladies. But she, I'm, to this day, I'm 100% convinced that

when my grandfather looked at my grandmother, he only saw Miss South Africa, just run her up Miss South Africa, his whole life. Until they were 80 and pissing themselves in diapers. He still looked at my grandmother and saw the 23-year-old runner-up Miss South Africa that he married. I'm positive of it because I remember him vividly. And they had a very, very healthy sex life, late in life. I'm sure of it, yeah, unfortunately. So I'm not going to argue that we're always,

it's always correct in what we perceive, but I will argue that when a woman says that the baby looks just like you and if you thought that the baby did look like you, whatever that version of you is in your head, it would be a powerful powerful motivator. Of course it would.

It would be a hugely powerful. But you're saying there were no matter. We didn't have that same sense of self. Correct. We know what our grunts sound like. But I don't know that if it's the same grunt. Well, then I would take care of it. Okay.

Maybe that's the correct theory. I think this is really interesting. And I think in my mind, you see someone one way. You cannot see them another way once you know them very well. I don't believe that we really knew what we look like. like until several hundred years ago. I think we just had an image of ourselves and the whole the baby looks like you

is an interesting concept. Evolutionarily speaking, it makes sense. It sounds good. But how do you know? But you didn't know what you looked like. It's really cool. I had a friend, my sophomore year in college, one of my fraternity brothers was rich.

Okay. A lot of them were. Yeah. This one was very rich. That's how that goes usually. Yeah. And he didn't want to write this paper for his evolution class,

and it was a three-pageer. Big paper. He was like, dude, you know, I was sort of like the poor kid in my fraternity. Yeah. And he was like, dude, I'll pay $700. $700 to write this paper. I would have retired in college if I had $7.00. You don't realize how much that meant to me.

Like I was like... That's what I'm saying. That's huge money. How many times do I have to suck your con? He was like, I'll give you $700. He's like, I can't write this tonight. It's due tomorrow. Did no research.

And I wrote a paper because I'd always had this theory about mourning wood. Okay. Right? I definitely want to get circle back. Or is that maybe that's where it's going. I want to hear this. Yeah, yeah. So I just had this idea about, because even as a kid, I was like, why do I always wake up with a boner?

Right. And so I always thought about it. And I was like, oh, I think I know why. So I wrote this whole paper. And, you know, I had Google or whatever at the time. And I just wrote this paper about that morning wood, you can't pee with a boner. Very hard to pee. Very difficult.

You could, but it's a nightmare. Yeah, it goes everywhere. It's a mess. Yeah. Thanks for letting me know. I've never experienced that. Well, you said it like you were unsure as to what he was saying. My theory was basically that it, you know, in the time as we were evolving, that it basically kept you from peeing in your sleep.

It keeps you from peeing in your sleep. You get an erection. That way you don't pee. When you're relaxed, you don't pee the fucking cave. Yeah. It's a good hypothesis. Peas very fragrant. It's organic.

Predators are going to smell it. And so men with morning wood were more likely to survive less likely to be attacked by a saber-toothed cat. I like this. It's good logic. Selective evolution for boners. wrote the paper, I'm not making this up, got an A. No way. Yep, 700 bucks.

Just throughout your hypothesis. Three double-spaced pages, 12-point times New Roman. Great. Did you keep the paper? No, but I'm still in touch with the guy. You should publish it. You got to get that paper. Yeah, I should get that.

We need that paper. I like that. Do you have a jingle? Depends what game. It's not a game. It's the crux of what we do here. It's the reason. Okay.

We're like the fucking Wall Street Journal of the outdoors, darn? You should have known. I, I, oh, this one? What's in the news? Yeah, that's good. I like that. Who made that? On Discord, his name's M.K.

I believe. Well, thanks, M.com. I mean, I could be totally wrong. I mean, look, you're the guy. You're the wildlife guy. You've got a book. I do have a book. you said I asked about brunch, which wasn't sure. You're not going to let this go. I could tell

this is kind of eating at you. You suggested it. What's in the news this week? What do you like? What's in the news? I'll tell you, this is a fun one for me. Top news story for me. Oversized goldfish are taking over a local Minnesota lake, causing an issue for all the native fish. All right. I'm thinking their carp. Coy. Well, that's, and that's the thing. That's where, that's why I wanted to dig into this guy. Because big fish. A very large fish. It, here's the thing. What is a carp? It is literally just a goldfish. Now, there are different species, but a carp is just the same general family as these goldfish,

and they've taken over all, every body of water that they've been introduced to. But what you're seeing here, this is like your pet store variety fancy goldfish. Right. And in, the fuck is that thing. In Burnsville, Minnesota, I don't know why because, all right, let me back up. Let me explain something. Okay.

When you dump a goldfish in a lake, you look at that thing, it's two inches long. It's a lure, right? Any fish in that lake goes, yum, yum, I'm going to go eat that, right? It's a swimming golden beacon that anybody should go cruising over and chomp up. Sure. But for some reason, in whatever I said, Burnsville, Minnesota, these goldfish are not getting eaten, or at least so many of them have been populated in this lake that they are getting to this gargantuan size. Now, I have a fish pond at home.

Yep. I've got 30 goldfish in there that the turtles tear to shreds when they can catch them. I've had those same goldfish in there for years, and sometimes I kind of restock when the numbers are getting low. I've never had one look like that mutant obesity. No, but I mean, this is the, I don't know if it's an old wife's sale or whatever, but you always hear that the goldfish will grow to the size of the receptacle. It's kept in. Right, right, right, right. But, like, I've also heard it's not really true, but these are some beefy bastards for people who are only listening.

I mean, that's about, let's see. What do you think? That's about a five-pound fish? Yeah, it's at least three. I mean, maybe up to five. It's a big, meaty gold fish. It's a size of, like, three big, male-sized human hands. Dude, and the weird thing is, look at that thing's face.

It's got the face of, like, a soft-shell turtle. It's got a normal goldfish face and gigantic oversized body where it's got this hump on its back. Yeah, its head didn't grow. They're an atrocity. Right. to its body. It really is a mess. And it's interesting because, I mean, the problem is,

so goldfish are very problematic. You know, they will, they'll stir up lake bottoms. Their waste will increase algae production, which can get in the gills of other fish and break it down. So it's actually like a pretty legit problem, and you don't want them to spread. Now, why these goldfish, goldfish are amazing, by the way. They can survive in like anything.

Really? I, my aunt lives up in the mountains near Lake Arrowhead, and she keeps two goldfish in like a wooden, like half barrel, you know, like a little pond half barrel outside. Yeah, yeah. Freezes over in the winter, three inches of ice, no problem. Goldfish, you know, doesn't feed them all winter. Do they go into some type of like hibernation? They go into like an estivation where they don't eat for periods of time. But yeah, they just...

Does everything slow down in the bottom? Exactly, in the cold water. But anyway, I just thought it was kind of cool. the point, you know, just because I haven't seen these giant mutant goldfish before, they shouldn't be that hard to eradicate because look at them, you know, it's not that hard to find something like that. It's a basketball. Yeah, I mean, here's the thing.

They're in Minnesota. Throw some musky in there, some muskalanga, those giant pike, where they should be anyway, if they're in Minnesota. So throw some musky in there, and musky will eat up all the goldfish problem solved, I would think. Yeah, it says they live 25 years. Wow. And they reproduce very, very quickly. Also, it is an abomination.

That goldfish was not meant to be that big. No, it's an abomination. It says it's almost certainly just people freeing little goldfish that they don't want to keep anymore. They are 10 cents each at Petco, you know, and people think, this is actually, I want to get into something here. It's how serious I'm getting, brand-time. Holy shit. This is serious. Okay.

Shit drives me fucking bananas, okay? I just had a Shark Week show come out, right? Two of them. They were great. Everybody loved them, especially our draws of Alaska show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The only piece of negativity that I saw floating around, was like one or two people being like,

how can you catch that shark that's so fucked up? We did it for science and put a DPS tag on and got incredibly valuable data on. Right, right, right. Those people that have this uneducated view of wildlife and doing the right thing hurt my profession and scientists and our understanding of the world.

And the reason I bring that up, the reason I bring up that little piece of negativity, these things keep happening. So the people who dump those goldfish in that lake probably aren't bad people. They're probably people that are like, I want Scruffy the Goldfish to live a nice life. Well, Scruffy the Goldfish can literally ruin North America.

You're not doing Scruffy the Goldfish as service by throwing it in a lake in Minnesota. You would be better to take that thing and bop it over the head, literally let it dry out and die a terrible death, than you are to throw it in the lake. You are causing so much more environmental damage than you are doing good. These things keep happening.

Pita used to have this group of idiots that would run around Southern California, breaking into rest, like the red lobster and fucking fish markets, and grabbing Maine lobster and dumping them in the ocean. Go free little lobster. You're literally taking lobster from Maine and throwing it in the ocean in California that can cause all kinds of biohazards, and they're like, we're doing it for the animals. You might be doing it for an animal in the tank.

Right. that could literally wipe out an entire ecosystem. Sure. Like to the point of mass, mass, mass scale extinction. Right. Well, look at the cane toads. I mean, isn't that what happened with that? Well, that was intentional because Australians are nuts, but they didn't know it was going

to go the way it went. Right. But my point is, like, there are these animal do-gooders, and I appreciate do-gooding in the animal world. That's what I do for a living. Yeah. But there are these sort of people that think they know what they're doing or think they're in the right or think the animal-reiber.

rights are important for that creature. And the amount of damage that they have the potential to do is astronomical. Of course. Playing a lobster from the east coast on the west coast, throwing a goldfish in a lake, the list goes, look at the fucking Florida Everglades.

Like the list goes on and on and on. You have the ability to do so much damage by thinking you're doing something nice. So the message here is like, just do a little bit of research. Like if you Google, should I put a goldfish in a lake? You're going to get the answer. It's going to pop up

really quickly. Super invasive. Don't. Yeah. So anyway, I want to just go on a little rant there because these kind of animal welfare, like I'm doing the right thing. I appreciate the mentality. I can't stand when the right thing has, in someone's mind who's uneducated, has the potential

to destroy the planet. And that's not being over. I mean, that's the problem with, you know, with everything today. It's the lack of critical thinking. Even though we have the world at our finger tips right on the phone. Yep.

You don't, you need some kind of cue to push you there. A sign that says when you buy the goldfish, do not put this goldfish. And then you'll be like, oh, maybe I shouldn't put this goldfish in the lake. Something. But yeah, people, yeah, but that's crazy because there's like this lack of common sense. Absolutely. If I own a pet store, are you telling me it's my responsibility to put up a sign that says don't release your pet goldfish in the lake?

Like, that's insane. It's insane. It's insane. Yeah. Well, with the amount that are in that lake, too, it could be like, some. some activist, not like it would be an organized thing, but who knows? Somebody might have went in and bought 40 bucks worth of goldfish and been like, free goldfish. Totally.

I thought they were doing a good thing. Totally. It could have been. And we'll never know. But it's just like, don't do good if the good's harmful. Like, just don't. Just get on with your business, you know? I have a story I wanted to bring up here.

Let's do it. It's fantastic. So there are 13 captive elephants in Kent, which is, I think, near London, but it's somewhere in the UK. I'm familiar. 13 domestic elephants, if we could call them, or captive elephants. I think they were being kept at like a little wildlife park. Okay. They're being repopulated back to Kenya.

Oh, that's cool. Right? So this whole herd is going to be brought. Here's where it gets good, Retepp. Mm-hmm. I'm listening. On a single 747. They're going to load 13 African elephants onto one 747.

What? and repopulate them back to Kenya. Do they have to each buy one or two seats? Good joke, Ritap. Of course, laughed. But so I start, it's cool, right? It's cool. It's really cool.

As far as elephants go, would you imagine that captive elephants would have a good chance of making it in the wild? They are so intelligent. So typically, I'd kind of say no. Okay. Right, to your average critter. You know, you put your dog outside, my dog wouldn't last two days. You know, like, he's not becoming a wolf overnight and heading back out to Yellowstone. Elephants?

Absolutely. Will they figure it out? Now, they're going to be put somewhere where they're relatively protected, I'm sure. My guess would be predator-free. Maybe not, but they'll make it. They're also so big. It's like, who's going to fuck with an elephant? Well, no, a lot of things fuck with elephants.

Yeah. A pride of lion. Yeah. Groups of animals, I suppose. No, they do. I mean, a big dominant elephant's not getting a lot of pressure, but I think they'll make it, is my point. But again, back to our let's use modern tech,

I mean, we built something that can take a whole herd of elephants. Banans. In a single flight. So it made me think of something. It made me think of maybe you have a jingle for it. As you cover the mystery that is past. Maths. I'm pretty good with numbers.

It's Pat. Math. Whoever made these is a fucking genius. His name is M.K. M. K. Or you to math. Or you to lady. Or whatever.

Can I throw a wrench towards you as you do Pat's math? Sure. So I've done... It affects my pre-figured-out math, then no. Absolutely not. Maybe I shouldn't. Never mind. Let's continue.

Okay, yeah, I can't do the math on the... Let's circle back afterwards. No, that makes sense. That makes sense. I'm doing parabolas. This is calculus. Yeah, let's go. Geometry.

I might spoil it at the end. We'll see how we go. So I've got 13 elephants on a 747. Go on one-way ticket, Kenya. Yeah. Kenya. Kiania. How many, to carry the same amount of weight that they're going to carry in these 13 elephants on this plane?

Yeah. How many male African lions would they have to put on the plane? How many African lions? Okay, so let's see. So a large African lions. African elephants, like 12, 13,000 pounds. A lion is like 500, 600 pounds. No, that's even too big, right?

Like 400 pounds? Maybe 300 pounds? Yeah, that's better. Yeah, that's better. Jesus. Uh, math's hard. I'm gonna say... I'll chime in here.

Go ahead. I'm going 250. Okay? What's up? 250? $250? $250,000. $15,000.

Oh, so. Uh, I'm going to say, uh, I'm going to say, uh, I'm going to say. say that it's about pretty close to what I'd guess. I'm going to say, look, I'll take the over. I'll go 300. Yeah, 422 lions. That's a lot of lions. I'd rather be on the plane with the elephants, I think.

The only thing is they move around and then now, yeah, you'd rather be with the lions. Well, because of the weight, I mean, they've got to be secured, wow. I've done some elephant movement. I'm guessing there's more Pat's math. Yeah, I've got a few more, but... Yeah, that's right, but before we dig into that, I've done some elephant work, I've moved a few elephants. It's not

the animal waking up. Right, you can keep them in a drowsy sedated state. I mean, it's nerve-wracking. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, if an African elephant, if an African lion wakes up, whatever, you got a 200-pound kitty running around, right? That's fine, okay? It's not great.

It's not great. It's not great. It doesn't sound. Whatever. If you get a 13,000 pound, I mean, you know how they have to space out the seats when the plane's half empty so that you don't mess the weight up. Oh, yeah, you're right. You get a 13,000-pound elephant charging towards the front of the plane.

It's going down. going down. That's all weight displacement. It's a mess. It's true. Yeah. And that is a way bigger risk than like, you know. And they're top heavy.

Like when we moved them in trucks. Yeah. One of the biggest concerns was if one decided to lean really hard on a corner. Because you just roll the whole semi. Oh, just roll the whole semi would roll. Of course. They're so top heavy. Jeez, man.

How many? I'm still going. So how many Texan? How many Tasmanian devils? Oh, man. Would you have to load into a plane to be the same payload as 13? 30,000. Okay. I'm going to not use that strategy. I'm going to say 18,000, 9,400.

I went really. It would also be the equivalent of about 1,000 people on a plane. Okay, that was what I was, I was curious how many people that was going to be. Well, that's if the people are watching what they're eating. Thousand people on a plane. That's a big plane. What are those big, big, like, double-decker planes take? Well, I'm doing it by weight. I'm doing it by weight. 7-7. I think so 7-47 is the biggest plane. I thought he was right. I thought the 7-7-7. No, fuck off.

All right, you can fact-check, Pat, on both the math and the 777 plain fact. The math is correct, sir. The Spiceman-E-Bus 380 carries 853 passengers. Damn, that's big. I didn't know it was that big. And then here's the last one. My cat, Lemley, how many lemlies would it take to equate 13 African-Offics? In my head, it's now easier to go, okay, it's a thousand people. Okay.

How many lemlies is that? That's what I'm doing in my head. I'm going, I'm going 30,000 Lemueling. No, no, no, no. So it was, what was it, it was 8,000 Tasmanian devils, is. 9,400,000 people. It's unfair, because you know how big the Tasmanian devils are. It's okay.

You don't even know what one is. I'm going to say, I'm going to say it's 7,343 Lemley's. 21,400. You're killing it, though. Because I went over. Which, by the way, what a fun flight. What? With all of them?

21,000 cats? I think people would pay extra for that flight. Cat flight. Especially if you're not allergic. Cat cafe. Are you familiar with stuff? I haven't, but that's what I thought right when he said it. There's one in West Hollywood.

There's one half a block from here. Are you serious? Jessica's friend owns it. It's one half of a block from here. Can we go after the pod? Is she making money? I have no idea. Probably not.

I'm assuming no. Has anyone that's owned a cat cafe ever know of money? I think that's like a passion, a passion type of business. I don't know. that you're making millions on that. Okay, let me ask you this, because I would like to go into a kitten cafe or a cat cafe. So cat cafes, they're not

a bunch of feral cats that are like pissing and scratching you. They're adorable fluffy kittens. They're young kittens. They go for adoption. Okay, so they're up for adoption. Yeah, and every latte and cappuccino at the cafe is made with cat milk. Got it. Yeah, okay. That's not right? That sounds delicious. Can you milk a cat? You can milk anything with nipples, fucker.

Fucking hell. What else you got, Frust? That's a good, do you get that reference? Yeah, of course. Meet the Fawkes. One of my favorite movies. You're just proud of how quickly you thought of it. It came out quick, yeah.

You're fired. I'm firing on all cylinders. Speaking of things that we like as much as Kitty Cafes on this pod, scientists filmed a glass octopus for I think the first time or one of the only times. Now, we're pretty obsessed with Octopi in this pod in case if you're not watching, you'd understand if you looked at the YouTube. Right. I mean, literally look at our sign.

Oh, wow. Look at this thing. This glass, that's not it. Really? Oh, there is. That's it. Yeah. Fuck off, advertisement news stories.

I don't know what you're looking at. The glass octopus is this incredible creature. It is translucent. You can see right through it, or transparent, rather. You can see right through it. You can see its organs. Wow. Here's the whole thing.

I just brought this up because I wanted Peter to freak out a little bit. It's not like, yeah, cool. They filmed a hard, defined deep, deep, creature. Peter, dude, I'm looking at this thing. First of all, it has a fishing lure as a brain, which is very interesting. I mean, it's got wings,

the whole thing. Also, like, it has a galaxy in its web tentacle type thing. This is scientifically sound, what he's just said. It has a fishing lure for a brain. Factual. Have you guys ever seen me? Back up on the link.

Scroll down, because this is what I want you to see. Oh, wow. Look at this. Here we go. Here we go. If you're listening live, we are reviewing a video of a glass off the list. Oh, my God. Look at it. It's got the gold flex in it. This is an alien. They definitely fucking made this.

This is why I brought this up. They created this. This is what aliens have been coming down for all these years so we could harvest gold. So they could create these to come back and live in our oceans. They're going to take over soon, gentlemen. It's headed that. Look at this fucking thing. This is not of the earth.

Isn't that incredible? No, this is not a. This is not an earth-born creature. This is wild. That's okay. That's okay. Oh, no, that's great. Yeah.

I love it. Look, all, like, lunacy of Retaps aside and all jokes aside. Even its tentacles are weird. If you found that on Mars, on any other planet, I wouldn't even be surprised. I'd be like, yeah. That's about what I thought an alien look like. Yeah. That adds up.

There's a movie called, so the same year that gravity came out, that piece of shit movie. You didn't like it? Love that movie. and hated it. Interesting. I thought it was a watchable trash. Is that the, that's the, uh, Sandra Bullhawk?

Oh, no, no, I was thinking of the, I was thinking of the, I was thinking of the, I was thinking, contact, never mind. Oh, contact's amazing. Yeah, I was thinking by one of my professors, actually. Okay, cool. Any gay.

Was he rich too, like your friend buddies? No, but Europa report came out that same year. It's an indie film. Oh, okay. Where they went and they went, uh, they felt like they had intelligence about, um, They're being life on one of the moons of Saturn. Okay.

And they find, and it looks exactly like this glass octoply. Yeah. Well, now, is this a known species or is that a new discovery? Yeah. No, this is a known species, but it's a species that I don't believe any video or maybe very little video has ever been captured of. You know, it's... Wow.

It's incredible footage, honestly, man. I mean, this thing... Is that a super deep water animal? It's got to be, right? Yes, it is. Crazy cool. Another part of this that I found really interesting, I'm just looking at it now, because I was so blown away by the octopus. I didn't even notice this.

They were doing this deep sea investigation when they filmed this thing. They also spotted a rare deepwater whale shark. We don't know if that's its own species, if that's a surface species that's gone down deep. There's no video. Wait, no video. Did it say how deep they were? I'd have to check right here. Probably in the article itself.

It's a very like, you know, skim the surface kind of article. So whale sharks are very very very. Very often up near the surface, right? Yes, correct. That's why they're pretty easy to swim with, and every Instagram influencer has a picture of them swimming with the whale shark. Myself included. So is that, because to me, that's fascinating.

Right. That there's a, they found a whale, did it look different? It doesn't say. I mean, I haven't read, so I haven't read, so this is from a journal, right? But this is just a little article that covered it in the Environment Magazine or in Huffington Post. And so I haven't read the full article. I literally got as far as, oh my God, look at this octopus. because Peter needs to see this so he can freak out.

I can't stop looking at an alien. As I got on this one. So just to be clear. I can't stop looking at this thing, man. It is amazing. So does this thing have the qualities of a regular octopus where it can change color and do all that? I wouldn't.

I highly doubt it because it's got translucent or transparent skin. It wouldn't, yeah, because, I mean, I'm guessing those gold flex are capable of changing a little bit, but there's no way that this is going to change. And this also to me looks like, and again, I don't know this, But it looks like a pelagic octopus, meaning it just drifts out in the ocean. It's not sucking down to the ground and changing. So the reason all those octopuses have that camouflage, the intelligent chromatophores

where they can change their skin color and texture is to blend into the environment. Yeah. Well, when your environment is drifting in the deep open sea, the best way to blend in is to be see-through. And so that's what you're seeing here. Well, see-through with a big flashy lure in your head for some reason. No, that is probably what that is. It's probably to attract things.

Yeah, because in the deep sea, there's a lot of that, right? There's lantern fish and there's a lot of that going on. Anyway, I just thought this was a visual that you couldn't do without. I mean, I just thought it was so stunning. That's super cool. I've got a new wallpaper from my computer. Here's a visual for you. Okay.

You're asleep. Having a peaceful dream. Nice. Very nice. You had a cheeseburger and fries for dinner. Lovely. You know what else you had? Taco about.

Two nice glasses of cabernet so viny on. Cold? Cold? Oh, not only that. you don't have to get up in the morning. You didn't even set an alarm. You're having a good old sleep. So this is like forest circa 05.

Yeah, exactly. But you're having one of those like rare sleeps where I'm just going to pass out. Dead to the world. Like when we get home from a shoot. Oh, it's the best. All right. So you hear some skittering under your bed.

You hear a little bit of that going on. Okay. You're like, what the fuck? I got a clean house. I shouldn't have a cockroach under there. I got a clean house. Yeah, I maintain a tight ship here. That's fair.

You look down. And if you were Trish Wilcher from Georgia, guess what she saw? She's in Georgia, possum. Let me put it this way. There was 18 of them. Feral cats. 18 possum. Yeah, I don't know.

Bugs, bugs, bugs. Big, big spiders or something. 18 snakes. Snakes? Yeah. It's a lot of snakes. In her house? In Georgia?

Has no idea how they got in there. Georgia. Rat snakes? Garter. Harmless. Oh, interesting. Harmless garter snake. but not known to congregate in large groups.

A bunch of them were little babies. Yeah. But think about fucking 18 snakes under your bed. Bro, I was with you at a motel 6 after the last recording session here. Yeah, we were. And we had bought a very large pizza, and there was two slices left, went back to the motel 6 room, ate one slice, popped the other slice. What were you talking about last weekend?

Yeah. Pop the slice. We're recorded here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pop the slice on the fucking table. Sit down. Box closed. Box closed.

Okay. Sit down, get ready for bed. We're laying there, like, giggling, like schoolgirls, like having a sleepover, having a beer before we're going to crash. Separate beds, of course. And I get up and I'm like, all right, well, there's one last piece of pizza. I'm definitely not going to let us sit here all night. I opened the fucking pizza. What was on it, Pat?

I would say a cockroach that was like the side. Here in Santa Barbara. Yeah. At the motel. I mean, massive. Dude, massive. $300 a night for a fucking. So this is why you guys are both staying at my house tonight?

Yes. Yeah. Okay, that adds up. That's exactly why. Anyways, that's like, bro, he's like, that's it. He's like, we're going to wake, whoever wakes up first and turns down the light is just going to see a thousand cockroaches scatter from under their blanket.

Like, just. 45 minutes in, the cockroach had infiltrated the pizza box and was literally eating mozzarella cheese. Covered in a pizza oil. dude. I'm just like... The real question, do you still smash the slice? No! He got that shit out of the world. I was disgusted for days. But anyways, the snakes, I think it'd be better than the... So check this out. That's... It's interesting. I've seen a few garter snake gathering, so they will do it a little bit. Interesting. Now, typically they do it

in very cold weather environments. And while I'm telling the story, Peter, pull up narcissists snake dens, please. And a video would be ideal if you don't mind. So typically they do this in cold weather. environments. It gets too cold. The snakes will jump into one hole together because there's only a handful of holes, blah, blah, blah, you know. But garter snakes, like, tomorrow, if we decide to hike around Santa Barbara, we could go to a creek called Seven Falls area. You can find certain pools where in that pool, there'll be four or five garter snakes around that one pool because there's a bunch of frogs, bunch of tad pools, and they're all like stuck in there. But why in Georgia this many garter snakes would end up under someone's bed, to me is truly a mystery. That's a lot of

that's fucking weird, man. But look at this place. So this is Narcissus Snake Dens. This is one of my highest bucket list places to go. And the problem is this only happens for about two days where something like 70,000 snakes come out of the ground. See if you can find a video, Peter. It's incredible. 70,000 also garter snakes will come out of these like handful of holes all at the same time.

And it is literally biblical the way these snakes gather and come spitting out of the ground just as the weather warms up enough for them to all emerge at the same time. What kind of snakes are these? These are garter snakes. Really? Really? So see them all coming out of their dens, there, they're mating, see how they're all chasing. Those are all males and the one in the center that's getting pounded as a female.

Gotcha. And they're all trying to mate with her. And yeah, I don't know. It's just like, but could you imagine like, so, okay, this is in Canada, right? So it's colonized by the English, right? You're a, you're a monocled Brit. You've come over. You've come over to the...

They all are, aren't they? They all, of course, yeah. You've come over to North America. You know, you're exploring, you're spreading out. You know, you're in this new area called Manitoba, as named after some other monocled Brit, I presume. And, you know, you're walking. Weather's starting to warm up.

It's a nice day. It's the first nice day in a few weeks. You look down 70,000 snakes. Puk, shit. Cut my own dick off. I mean, that's like, you go back to England and you're like, we're not going there. God has smited that land.

We shall never take that place. I mean, it's just like, it's just look at it. Forget it. We're out. And you don't know anything about snakes because you're a Brit, you know. So it's just, I mean, I love snakes. I think it would be super cool to see this. But on first glance, as a first person to see this, it's a complete nightmare. Dude, the Russian fur traders that came over, I don't know when, you know, hundreds, hundreds, hundreds of years ago came over basically just, you know, trapping. Yeah.

And landed, you know, sort of in the eye. islands there off the coast of Alaska, you know, Codiak and a bunch of those places, and they built churches and they were there to get fur. And there was so many fucking bear, they were like, yeah, we're out. Right. Yeah. They just were like, this is, literally abandoned. This is untenable. It's not livable. Yeah. It's cool because when you go to those islands, you can, everyone has a, has a Christian church. Yeah. From the Russian fur traders who were, you know, the first people besides the Inuits that lived on the island. And just eventually they were like, these islands suck, man. I like those stories.

I like the story of human came, like tried to conquer, was like, nope, animals too scary leaving. The bear one, man. The bear one. Yeah, they're the alpha. I love that. I think that's so cool. Well, speaking of animals winning. I was just going to say, what? Were you going to talk about?

I was going to go to another story. Do you have something else going on? No, go ahead. I thought you were going to talk about the Battle Royale pictures that we'll get to later. Oh, no, we should talk about that. That's great. That would have been a better segue. But, um, thanks.

With regarding more news stuff, there's been a lot of fish on drugs lately. You know this? Well, a couple podcasts ago, you were telling me about a bunch of fish that were addicted to meth. Right. What's going on? You got something else? What's the matter with fish in 2021? What are they doing?

Drugs, mate. It's fucking social media, dude. It's drugs. I mean, I don't know what's going on. So there's this area, I think it's in Germany. All of a sudden, they're witnessing salmon going nuts. They're at fish farms. They're jumping against the wall.

They're banging their heads. In fish farms. In fish farms. So there's a controlled environment. Controlled environment. Salmon are going bonkers. Makes no sense. They're acting erratically.

Jumping up against walls. Salmon are all doing coke. What? Doing Coke? They're doing coke. Salmon are snorting lines. You can go ahead and explain that. I sure can.

So they're trying to figure out what's going on with the salmon. Why are they behaving this way? They do a water analysis. They go all the normal pharmaceutical levels. Like, yes, there's a little bit of runoff. There's a little bit of this. Pesticides, whatever. Everything's fine.

One part for million meth. No, but at that point, there's no meth. It's just, everything's fine. Everything's fine. No unusual findings. Then they're like, wait a minute, like, we need to look deeper, do another test. Sure enough, there is an illegal discharge of cocaine. Somebody is dumping coke into this fish farm to get rid of it. They got it.

I don't know why. There's no explanation. They're getting rid of Coke. It's going into the fish farm. Trouter going nuts. So they figured this out because of this picture, I'm assuming. the trout or the fish are just jumping like maniacs. Yeah, well, I mean, you know, if you work at a fish farm every day, you're used to fish acting a certain way.

Yeah, exactly. All of a sudden, they start, you know, water falling out the side of the tank. Yeah. Something's going on. Good news, I guess, is that, oh, and by the way, this is assumed that it was done by European drug gangs. Oh, cool. Yeah, the dump toxic way, you know, dump toxic. What is a fish?

If we were to stumble upon a fish farm, what would it look like? I've never seen a fish farm. Oh, I love fish farms. I thought for a long time, like late high school, early college kind of thing, I was like, oh, I'd love to go into aquaculture. Like, that's the future of sustainable protein. I was very into it. So very, it's a great question. It's almost like asking what does a farm look like? Well, a vineyard looks very different from a cattle farm, you know, so on and so forth. So it just depends. But for the most part, you have these big round tanks. The water can circulate. I'm talking about freshwater farms here. One tank for your fingerlings, your tiny little fish or your spawn. One tank for your fingerlings. How big are these tanks, though? Is this like the size of the pool in my yard? No, no, no.

Not 20 gallons. Or is it more of like a pond? No, it's like a giant elevated concrete pond. It's like a small lake, typically. So whoever's dumping this coke knows they're not just dumping it in a fucking pond. It's intentional. Well, let me be clear. So the way that most of these fish farms keep the water circulating is they're

built in a way that their elevation and natural water is feeding them. So if you put 10,000 fish in a small pond, you have to have massive circulation because the water goes bad, they all die. So you have a creek, the creek flows in, runs through all these tanks and flows out in the simplest form. So these European drug gangs are dumping coke in the creek, you know, a quarter mile away, ending up, I don't know. Why would you dump your Coke?

Your Coke is your product, baby. They had to have like been ditching it or something. Or maybe it was a bad batch, toxic? Who knows? What was toxic thing? I mean, Forrest, it's your job to go out there and stop this. It is. Yeah, I need to hit Germany.

I need to go and, yeah, clean up the streets, clean up the creeks. Get rid of that Coke, mate. That's right. If Forrest was a superhero, what do you think his name would be? Lionman. Yeah, Lionman. That's true. It's not for debates here.

Yeah, but anyway, I just look, there's two drugs, two fish on drug stories in two weeks. Dude, that doesn't happen all the time. I want to do something. Stop me if this is too crazy, bros. So we do, for those who join the Patreon, we do four additional podcasts a month. And we've been doing a segment on there where we do a behind the scenes

of Extincteral Live episodes. Yep, right? And we just get into stories, stuff that didn't air. Yep. If it was your favorite moment, Retep has realized that filming the show is the most fun thing that anyone's ever done. Yeah.

Yeah. There's a petition that I go on the next one if there's a season three. There is. Yeah. Yeah, let's get that going. But we, so we've done three parts. Those are on the Patreon, which Retap will link to. I want to do the final two episodes on the regular podcast.

Whoa. Is that, is that insane? No. Let's do it. We're going to do it tonight? We're going to do it right now? Let's do it right now. Retep doesn't have a jingle ready per usual.

Yeah, but you know, I do have this. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, that gets me in the mood. All right, so we've done 18 or 19 other episodes over there on the Patron. You know why I like this gentleman? I can relax for a minute and just enjoy the stories. I like that.

Yeah. Good for you. All right, Forrest. Yep. So here's the two we haven't done. The final episode of Season 2, the Southern Rocky Mountain Wolf. Set us up. Yeah, so there was a wolf subspecies called the Southern Rocky Mountain Wolf.

Houston inhabitants parts of the Sierra's. all the way into the Rocky Mountains. It was like a shaggy, brownish, tanish wolf. Yep. And as we all, well, maybe not we all, but as we have noted, wolves are starting to make a comeback in California. All over.

But, you know, they're all the way, except in Wisconsin. They're literally right there. Like, we're in Santa Barbara County. Next county over San Luis Obispo County. Wolves have made it to now. That's cool. Which is fantastic.

So our theory, our hypothesis after hearing from a rancher that we got in touch with, was that maybe in this very remote part of the sierras, they never left. Maybe there was just a very... Little pocket. A little pocket, you know, remote area. Maybe there's just a couple Southern Rocky Mountain Wolf or something bred them out

because, you know, wolves, coy wolves, coy, dogs, like they all interbreed. Yeah. Let's go search. Yeah. Right? So that's it. That was a very simple setup. That's what we did.

Up to the mountains, up to the Sierra's... Beautiful area. Oh, my God. So as the layman, what's unique about the wolf? because I'm looking at a picture of it right now. Well, it's extinct. It's extinct subspecies of gray wolf. Okay.

Yeah. So see that? I mean, there isn't, I mean, that's not it. Like, you're better to go to the diagram. But, you know, there you go. Pull that up. So there's a follow genetics map. No, see the map under the picture?

That thing. So those were all your subspecies of wolf across North America. So people often think, oh, we got a wolf in America. We got gray wolves. It's the same kind of Montana. It's the same kind of Yellowstone. It's the same. It's not, okay?

There were tons and tons of isolated subspecies. And what you're looking at here is all the different subspecies of wolf. Right. Some are, you know, they look more black, some are a little more stout, some have shorter way. Exactly. They're all just a little bit different based on the geography. Like dog breeds, kind of, except more closely related.

Very much so. It's a product of your environment, right? If you're hunting raccoons in the Florida Everglades, you're not the same animal as the one hunting caribou. in Alaska. And you evolve to determine that. In Florida, you get a shorter coat because it's hotter out. You know, your paws need to be bigger because

you're running through swamp all the time. You know, in the grasslands, you're a different animal. Up north, you get a big shaggy coat. You've got a stronger jaw. So on and so forth. You evolve and adapt to meet your environmental needs. Yep. Yep. Does that answer your question well enough?

Absolutely. Absolutely. Anyway, let's get into it. This was a fun shoot. I had a great time on this one. Great crew. up in the mountains, cold is shit. Yeah.

Really fucking cold. Every single day. I just remember the constant, my constant concern, I was like, this is going to be the time where I take off my boot and my toes are going to be black. You know, you'd lose feeling in the toes like, you know, six hours into the day and you're like, yeah, this is the time. I lose my toes today. The avalanche was cool.

That made it into the cut. Yeah. What was your favorite moment or least favorite moment that was not? that didn't make the cut. Favorite release friend didn't make the cut. Oh, you know what? Didn't make the cut. I think we lost the footage.

What was it? You'll remember when we spent the first night in the snow shelter. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And like, so this is adorable, by the way. So we're out there. And I'm telling the guys.

This was cute, man. It was cute. Yeah. I'm telling the guys, I'm like, look, we all have tents, right? We're camping. We're hiking around the Sierra's. We're camping.

A high elevation. It's beautiful. And I'm like, look, guys, it's stormy out of here. It's freezing. Yeah. You've got to get into the snow. Yeah.

You got to make a drift, which means you basically dig a hole, like build nigglu basically. Yeah, yeah. And get into the snow and sleep. And the guys are like, the guys are like, I don't know, dude. Like, you know, I got my north face. Like, it's pretty sweet. And I'm like, yeah, I mean, they are sweet. But like, one, it's, one, we're making TV here.

So I'm going to show everybody how to build like a snow shelter. Right. And two, I'm going to be warmer. So night one, you know, we have a fire. It's cool. You're hearing howling in the distance. It was coyotes or wolves were not sure, but it was rad and it's cold, really cold, as Patrick's pointing out. And everybody goes to sleep.

And this never made the show. I don't remember if somebody filmed it or not. Never made the show. But you posted an Instagram video that was kind of a joke video. Right, from the daytime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then the nighttime rolled around. And I made it the snow shelter big, like enough that we could all, I wouldn't say comfortably, but we all fit.

Yes. So we filmed it because he was like, I'm going to sleep in this. I was like, all right, let's film it. It's cool. There's a little survival element to the show. whatever. Yeah. So we filmed him making it. Right. And then nobody else made one, even though he was like, you really might want to make one. Yeah. I was like, Forrest, if my tent blows down, I'll just

wear it like a burrito. Right. Like, I'm not, I'm not building a snow shelter. They're too tough. And by the way, like, we all have very good snow gear. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, you kind of get where the store is going. Sit around the fire. You know, we eat some snacks, whatever. We call it a night. I climb into my snow shelter. I'm cold in the best snow shelter, which is insulated. I've got pine branches in there. I put snow over the top, everything. Yeah. Okay? About an hour later, I think, I think it was it Johnny first, Mitch first? I can't remember. When I went into the snow shelter, I remember Justin was already in there and sleeping. He might have been the first. He was the first. Because he was snoring. So loudly. And we're talking about

something about the size of three of these tables. Right. Anyway. Justin? And Justin was in there and snoring as if nobody else existed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Anyway, everybody ended up. in the snow shelter for the night. Yeah, it got a real cuddly. And by the way, beautifully warm. Super warm. Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah.

Yeah. We melted all the snow. Now, did you all have boners so that you wouldn't have to pee? Don't worry about that. You don't want to pee. You do not want to pee. Was Johnny's dick healed by this time? This was after the Johnny Dick.

That's a throwback to the Patreon. That's a real. Yeah. But I thought that was funny. That was really good. Everybody kind of sheepishly trickled into the snow shelter throughout the night and that it got nice and toasty. We were all over each other and not the best way.

Yeah, but so remember that warmth is so nice. It doesn't even matter, I imagine, you know. I'm sure there's some hipster chef on Instagram, and this is cool if you're doing this, but I know it's out there. I've never looked. I guarantee there's some, like, Brooklyn hipster restaurant where they're only serving roadkill.

It must be. We did the equivalent of eating roadkill, and it was, so good. We ate so well, man. Yeah? We found this deer that had been eaten. Its guts had been eaten now. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fresh, though, and it was in an icy environment. Yeah, super fucking cold. Yeah. We dragged it for a while. Forrest and Justin made this fucking delicious stew, like this brown gravy stew out of this venison. Yeah. Right.

Holy shit, that was good. It was really good. Also, the last night, when we went back to the cabins, we got really drunk. Nice. On what? We were drinking tons of shit. Hot toddies. I'm drinking hot toddies, dude.

We had a bunch of red wine. It was just fucking delight. Dude, when you haven't had a drink in nine or ten days. Right. You've been living in the snow. And you've been cold. Yeah. Start a fire up, man.

And so the drinks are flowing. We ordered like cheeseburgers. And what was, we were playing this game. What's the game where you fucking, the trivia game where you put the thing on your head? Oh. Oh, heads up. Heads up. Yeah.

Played heads up for like four hours. Yeah, died laughing. Didn't find a wolf. Did not. No. Found a coy wolf, big coyote. So what's your, what's your honest take on what that was? Because basically what happened was for anyone who hasn't seen it.

Yeah. Trail camera caught a real, what looked like a wolf to me, you were like, I don't, can't say this as a wolf. Yeah. I mean, it had wolf-like features because it was so big, it had such a broad snout. Yeah. You know, but the truth is, and a lot of people don't realize those, if you look at a coyote right next to a wolf certain species of wolf yeah look at coyote next to an american red wolf i can barely tell the difference and i'm like trained in this you know what i mean like it's very

hard to tell so we caught an animal on camera that was a very large coyote coy wolf dog you know what i mean it was something in that family and it didn't look like a normal coyote it certainly wasn't definitely a wolf it didn't look like the coyotes i see in my neighborhood right exactly and it was Cool. I mean, I was stoked we got that video footage. But, yeah, just snowshoeing around there. You know, it was cool as shit. We had the tracking dog. I can't remember his name anymore. Yeah, that was cool.

That was fun. That was a cool shit. It was a cool shoot. We had a lot of fun up there. Dude, I will say just also the night, Forrest put out a bunch of snares and caught some rabbit, like when we were up in the mountains, actually camping. Yeah. We ate some fucking rabbit by the campfire. But the night where, and I think this did make it in the show where you were just

sitting by the campfire and then you would just howl and then we'd hear the return. Howl back. Yeah, that was cool. Just freezing cold, man, zero degrees, snowing. It was wonderful. Check this out. Is that this video we posted on Patreon? No, that's a different. So this was season one, this was Newfoundland.

You guys are just howling it up. You love howling, man. Yeah. You really did. I mean, it's one of the few animals that you can vocalize and they'll talk back to it. I know. I do it with my dog. You can't call an elephant or roar to a lion.

Right. But you can howl and a wolf coyote is going to howl back. Now, what is that? I've always found that pretty fascinating. I discovered that. Yeah, because they know that you're not part of their pack. So what the fuck are they hauling back for? They think that, like, are they howling because it's another pack they think made a kill or something?

Yeah, good job. Not all canines, but specifically wolves and coyotes do what's called a locator howl. Okay. And so what that is is it's basically just where are you, you know, am I going to challenge you? Am I coming into your habitat? Right. Am I not? you know, I guess we don't really know what they're thinking, but it's a locator howl.

And that's typically what you're getting back. So you're, you're howling and that's like, hey, where are you? And somebody's going back, I'm over here. Where are you? And that's what the return howl is. So they might go, ooh, and that might be like, I'm over here or it might be like, and then you're like, it's like, don't fuck with me, dog. Yeah, totally. And I don't think we really know the answer to that, regardless of what some people might say. But it is, you know, what we do know is it's for sure a locator howl to figure out where

are each other, where are the rival packs, where are the different animals? What about when, like, my dog does it back with me? That's because I'm part of the pack with him. Yeah, I mean, you've co-co-of, you know, man has co-evolved with dog for thousands of years and yeah. Does your four-inch long

dog howl? Dude, that's hilarious. He definitely. Your goldfish-sized dog. He does, but he also just gets like it's almost like he can't help it and it annoys him. He's like, like, he has to respond. Yeah, like, and he like nervously is like, and then like if I get it going in the right tone, it's like full bore like,

oh, that's funny. And he's doing it with me, you know? That's funny. But like, it's very like nervous and he doesn't want to do it. He's still like, let's go and he's in. Oh, that's funny. I'll send a video or I'll post a video.

I couldn't get my dog to talk back to me. No way. You have like the perfect wolf howl, dude. It's bonkers. And while my dog doesn't speak wolf then. Hundreds of hours working on it. Hold on, here it is. That is not a wolf.

That's actually you. That's me. That's me in Newfoundland. From episode three. All right. We haven't done this one. This is a special one near and dear to my heart. We have not done the behind scenes of this.

The pilot episode of Extincter Alive. Back when they said, you can do a pilot, but not really, because we don't really think this is great yet. Right. So we have this thing, Animal Planet had this thing called Monster Week, which was their answer to Shark Week. Right. Okay. And they were like, we could sort of wedge.

We could, we can justify the expense of your crummy pilot. Your existence. If you do it for Monster Week. Right. So pick something sort of monstrous. And so we wanted to do Thylacine. That was the obvious sort of obsession. And we kind of had a hard time with that because, I mean, at least I did,

because I was like, it's not a monster. Monster. And I don't, you know, Monster Week was like fucking Bigfoot's and Godzilla's and I don't even know

what, but you know, like, you know, I watched it. Like, yeah, I was like all this dangerous stuff. Right.

And we were just like, it's not, like it's ghastrous looking. Like, the thing about Thalachian is it's monstrous looking. Right. Super weak jaw though even.

Like, not a terrifying animal. Not terrifying, but had that sort of appeal. Yeah, that cryptid. And I think the fact that it was extinct, right.

They were like, it's sort of cryptid. It's got a very, yeah, it's got a very interesting looking snout and face compared to other animals in its class. Oh, no, they're amazing looking. There's no question about that. Anyway, yeah, so, yeah, so, sorry, Patrick, I didn't mean to interrupt you, but it was just like,

they're like, yeah, do it, do it for Monster Week. And I was, at that point, was like, oh, well, this sucks. Well, we have, like, yeah, sure, we'll do it. Right, we'll still do it, yeah. So, yeah, you wanted to get that trip to the Galapagos, so you had to work for it. Like, we got to work, yeah, Tasmania, but close. Yeah, yeah, Tasmania, but close.

They were so unsure. At the end of the day. They were so unsure about the show that they were like, Forrest needs a co-host. Right. Which we cast this woman, Marianne, O'Hota. Didn't they sort of force? You weren't more involved in that.

I wasn't. They were, they liked her from something else she had done. Yeah. And they were like, if Marianne's in it, then we can. Yeah, I think it was part of getting the pilot through. Right. Was that we involved Marianne. Right.

And so then off to Tasmania's. You did a bunch of logistics. set it up. I didn't go in the field for this because I was working on something else and hired this guy, David Carr. And you guys... Yeah. Everyone seemed to like him. Good guy. Now, what was David's role? He was going to just run the field. He was Patrick in the field because Patrick was busy on something else. Right on. So they get on a plane. Farewell. See you guys later. Shooting the pilot. They go off.

About 18 hours later, I get a phone call from David Carr after they've landed. in Tasmania. He goes, hey man, so here's the thing. The whole area we're going to is on fire completely, like 100 foot tall flames. It's the biggest forest fire basically ever in the world. Tasmania in history, yeah. He's like, so I'm trying to figure it out. I think I have some solutions, but everywhere forest wants to go is on fire. So there's a red zone.

He wanted to pull the plug. Oh, really? He did. Yeah, he wanted to pull the plug. He's like, I've never had to deal with this kind of thing. Like, this is, we should throw in the towel. like, and I was there like, straight into the fire, for real. You just described it is probably after me being like, listen, here's the map,

here's where the fire, you know what I'm like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you like for us? Tell us. Incredibly, incredibly persistent. Yeah, I'm not very good at taking no for an answer. So, yeah, so I'm sitting there with David Carr, you know, and at this point in time, you know, Patrick, Patrick came up with a show.

So let's be very clear. It was Patrick's idea. I helped develop it and be like, yeah, I really want to, you know, I really want to to do this, I'm passionate about. Sure. But I didn't understand TV. I didn't understand the dynamics of who does what and what does. So to me, I was just an employee.

You know what I mean? And I'm like, I can't fuck this up. At that time, especially because it's a pilot. So you're like, yeah, exactly. I don't know anything. I'm like, David Carr is my boss. Right. It's anytime anybody goes into any job, that's like how you are.

And I didn't, you know, in hindsight, it would have been very different. But I was also so green around the gills. I didn't know anything about TV. But anyway, so to me, David Carr is my boss. So here's this guy. who's like, all right, we're pulling the plug, like, as fuck, there's all these fires. And it was gnarly. Like, they were evacuating parts of, like, Hobart, which is the capital city.

And, like, it was crazy. And I'm sitting there with this map being, like, my entire career of trying to motivate people to care about wildlife and conservation is right here. Yeah. Like, it's happening right now. And I can either talk this L.A. guy into, like, you know, staying in Tasmania and risking his life so I can talk about animals. Right. And if I kind of talk him into that, we're out. Like, it's done.

It's over. Like, I'm not like, I'm coming back. Yeah. In hindsight, maybe I could have come back. And you're into this idea. But no, it would have gone tits up. It would have gone tits up, for sure. If you guys had bailed, it was tits up.

100%. So anyway, I don't mean... EOA would not have existed. For sure. If this one decision had panned out differently. And I don't mean to say that I did it or or to take away from Patrick, who I've been talking for like 10 minutes now. But my point was, I'm sitting there with a map with David Carr.

And, you know, you're looking on Google. You're updating the fires. is totally fine. Look, wind's typically out of the south. Like, this area's good. Yeah, you know. But yeah, notice you guys went and did it and then, well, wait, wait. So what happened?

So you guys found a spot that you could go? Yeah, so let me explain, actually. And this was very, very much so biologically true, but also genius, if I do say so myself. And you do. And I do. So there are these huge fires going on, right? I got a picture here if you want to pull it up. Yeah.

There's these huge fires. going on in Tasmania. I mean absolutely nutso. Lots of stuff on fire here. Yeah, pull up that second pick and I'll explain something with that one. Yeah. And so as these fires burn, just like you're seeing in this picture, Peter, there are these walls of flames.

But the topography is such that as a fire sweeps down an area when you have these natural valleys, all of the animals run down into these valleys. They're fleeing the fire. Right, right. So I turn to David Carr, who turns to Patrick, who turns to the network, and I

say, look, this is an unbelievable opportunity. What are you talking about? I'm like, every single animal in Tasmania is going to be running away from the fire. If we find a pinch point where the topography has two mountains on either side and it acts as a funnel, every animal that's uphill of that is going to be funneled through this valley. I'm legit sold and like, I know that. I mean, of course. Animals, it's, it's logical.

They're not going to sit there and burn as animals. Exactly. Yeah. And so, you know, we knew these fires were going on. And when the show came out, people don't know this, we edited as though, like, that was the plan. Right. That was only the plan once the fires broke out. You know what I mean? Well, behind the scenes, fucking info. Yeah, but it's good for people to know that. But it's not deceiving. Not at all. That was the plan once we came up with it. Yeah. You know, but anyway. A lot of that stuff works that way. That's how the world works. Anyway, yeah, I found this area on a map. We do, we talk about it in the show. If I remember correctly, and I'm like, here are these two mountain ridges. You know, they're in a V shape. Right. Fires coming this way.

It looked like an actual funnel. It literally was shaped like a funnel. Yeah. Fires coming this way, you know, down from down the funnel. Yeah. And we're going to camp right here at like the spout of the funnel. Yeah. And there will be every animal running away from the fire will come through this valley

because they won't go up the sides of the mountains. Yeah. And we'll be in the dead center of it. And if one of those animals is a thylacine, done. Yeah. Home run. Yeah. You went and did. So Chris Darnel.

was the DP on this. I love that guy. Yeah, you went and did an interview with someone like in a cabin or something at one point. Yeah, there was an old guy whose grandfather had a picture

of a thylacine that he had shot. Okay. And so the thylacine... After it was supposed to be extinct. Correct, like five years after. And this was legit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is verified. This guy was a sheep farmer. Okay. This thing was terrorizing his sheep. He shot it. This animal basically walked like 30 feet from where he shot it and lay down because it was mortally wounded

the guy walked over with his old school camera took a picture of it the thing sat there for like another day and a half and then died and it was probably the last thylacine in Tasmania holy shit wow but yeah Tarnel was I remember because I was like hey how to go

I've worked with this guy a lot the DT and I'd never worked with the guy who was running the field part David right and he's like yeah I was good he's like yeah I got one gripe He's like, so we went to this cabin to shoot this force Was gonna meet with this guy. Yeah. He's like We filmed for like an hour and a half and he's like my My arms were literally like shaking like there was an earthquake like I was about to

I couldn't hold the camera anymore He's like and they're just still talking and they're still talking and they're still talking I'm like I don't even know what the fuck else they could talk about it at this point He's like an hour later I was just like my arms were so full of lactic acid that I just was like, I got a cut. Yeah. He's like, I walk outside. And David's sitting outside, like, looking at his email or, like, texting or something.

Yeah. And he's like, were you going to call cut? And David was like, oh, I thought you cut like an hour and a half ago. No. I didn't know about that. Dude, what the fuck? We've been filming for three hours. I had no idea.

Oh, my God. I didn't know any of that. If that was season, even midway through season one or two, probably after 30 minutes, you would have been like, I'm done. You were probably waiting for David to call cut as well. Of course. Because I was waiting for the boss to tell me what to do at that point in time. You know what I mean?

And so I was just doing the best of my ability until someone else told me to stop. What was your favorite moment from that shoot? So my favorite moment from that shoot is I was so right. And I'll explain why. I'm not saying it to be arrogant. It's a favorite moment of his entire life. No, listen, listen, I'll explain it. Because the first night we went camping.

So we got out there, and it was quite a trek to get out there. And we had Nick Mooney, this famous biologist who is. Yeah. You know who he is now. The guy who debunked the Neil Water. Exactly. We had Nick Mooney with us and this woman, Marianne O'Hoto, with us. And we went out there, and this was all based on my theory of the fires and everything,

and my understanding of wildlife and habitat and everything. And we set up tents, and it's cool. You know, there's a Wobbe over there and a wombat in the distance and whatever. And the first night, I grabbed Chris Darnell, that DP. And I was like, come on, we're going to go for a walk. And we walked down the valley where we were. we were and like up onto like a little hill you know that overlooked the valley.

And I lifted up my thermal like fleer binoculars. Dude, it looked like the African serengeti. Yeah. It was just, look, I'm getting goosebumps reliving it. Because we were in Tasmania, which doesn't, is not the African Serengeti. Like there's not thousands of animals. And I looked up with these binoculars and as far as the eye could see was wallabies and

wombats and qualls and all of these Australian animals that are hard to find. sitting in the valley because they had come down pushed by the fire. Right. And I was like, holy shit. Like this is, like, it was literally like being. Just eyes. Totally validated. Oh, you had the fleer.

So you had the flare. So I'm looking at it through thermal. And it was like being in the Serengeti migration of Australian animals, which is like something that nobody's ever seen. Because this is only situational due to the fire and the topography. And it wasn't that I was right. I didn't care about that. it was that I was seeing every animal that Tasmania had to offer in like one frame of binoculars.

Which would never happen naturally. Which would never happen. It's like going to the Amazon and having a jaguar here and an anaconda there and a river dolphin there and seeing them all in the same look. You know what I mean? It just doesn't happen. Right. Or being in North America and seeing a bison and a wolf and a bear all hanging out together. You know, it just doesn't happen.

So it was so cool to look out and see that. And yeah, you're smelling smoke and you're looking at fire up on the hills. But to look out and see this mega. Fonnell migration of Australian, of weird-assumpials. Yeah. And being like, well, maybe somewhere in those, you know, 10,000 animals that I'm looking at, one could be a thousand. And it was like, it was one of the coolest moments of wildlife I've ever had because I've never seen such an abundance of marsupials before. One, it was just, I mean, it's the very, you know, from, from your perspective, you're new to TV.

This is the very first thing you're doing and you're having this amazing experience. Yeah. You know, that's pretty crazy. Yeah. And then you were like, I got to get this fucking show sold. It's got to happen. I honestly, at no point, I think I wrote this in the book. I never thought, like, I have to get the show sold.

I just thought, I got to show this to people. Right. This is so important for people to see these animals. And that's like all my mentality ever was. Yeah. And then Patrick taught me how to produce and I learned how to do stuff and I learned how to tell a story and I, you know, all the things that come with TV. But in the beginning, literally the only thing in my mind was like, I need to show people

this. That was it. I didn't have another thought. Right. That's fucking amazing, man. Honestly. And you've had so many more experiences, go to the Patreon to hear about them all,

that we've talked about just over the course of recording those bonus pods, man. Sorry, no, no, go ahead. That's it. I was going to say, there's another favorite moment that just crossed my mind. Do you know what I'm going to talk about? You might remember it.

It didn't make the cut. And actually, I was upset. The sheep? Dude, that was my favorite. Explain it. It's so good. Dude, so I sent, you know, we usually like the first cut will be like 20 minutes long, right, of a show. Right.

And then you go, okay, we got to cut 20 minutes out of this. 20 minutes over, not 20 minutes long. So, yeah, we'll look at it and go, all right. And then we'll kind of share it around and decide, what do we cut? And there was, dude, Eric, who was our other partner and I were laughing so goddamn hard at this one scene. I have this clip. I'll say, this should go on the Patreon. It is fucking hilarious, dude.

So, dude, let me set something up real quick. Yeah, go for it. So the same cabin. that Patrick was just talking about where Chris Darnel's arms were shaking. That guy was a sheep farmer as his father and his father before him had been and that's why we were talking to him, right?

And he tells us this whole story of how the sheep would bleat this panic call and his granddad came down, shot the thylosine, blah, blah. So my logic, very simple, get a sheep distress call, play it, see if a thylosine comes in. It's a huge part of the reason the thylacine's extinct is because they were eating sheep. Correct. And they were bountyed and they love sheep. It's delicious apparently.

It's great. A lot of, like, so many out of the box things just with like the, you know, the whole thing of selling them on the idea what we just talked about. And now, like this would never occur to like an average person to get a sheep distress call to get them to come. Right. So now I'm excited to hear. Okay. So yeah, I want Patrick to tell a story. And then there might be one more thing that I tell. So I just look at the first cut. And. I literally was like crying, laughing because Forrest is like, I need to get a, I want to record a sheep distress call so that I can put these field speakers out and broadcast it and see if a thylacine would come into this animal that it loves to eat. Yeah. Great. Good setup. Forest walks into, I wouldn't even describe it as a pen. It's just a gigantic field. You know, like a field where sheep graze.

You know, you see him driving up the Highway 5 or whatever. There's, you know, it's like 20 acre field and there's like a flock of sheep in it. Yeah. He proceeds, he's like, so what I need to do is go get this sheep. I need to catch a sheep. Right. And I tell this to David Carr, by the way, and the farmer, and David Carr, you know, the same kind of thing that he was just texting his emails, look in his phone or whatever.

He's like, yeah, you're not going to catch one. Yeah. You know, he like tells me I'm not going to do it. I'm like, all right, well, I'm going to try. And he literally was like, well, just take a camera with you. Like, he wanted me to do it myself. I'm like, I can't. Right.

And he's like, all right, well, whatever. And I turned to Chris, who's a good buddy now. I'm like, Chris, would you film this? He's like, of course, man. He comes with this. So, Forest sees a sheep. Hopps the fence. Yeah, hops the fence.

Sees a sheep. Takes off running after it. Of course. Sheep's not super thrilled about that anyway. They run real fast. Yeah. They have four legs. Much faster than me.

They're pretty quick. Yeah. No bullshit. There is like 45 minutes of footage of this of forest chasing the sheep around and just gunning it, gunning it time after time. And the sheep keeps getting away. for it. Persistence.

A couple times. He's diving. Yeah. Almost gets it. Doesn't get it. And I'm just watching. So it's cut down to like a three minute scene. I'm like, this is fucking nonsense.

What the fuck? Forest is purple in the face. And he's just not giving up on catching the sheep. Correct. And there's, I don't see another sheep anywhere in any shot. Right. It's a massive field.

And so he's just going and going. And you can see that he's getting tired, but the sheep's getting tired. Right. Yeah. And just eventually guns at one more time, dives on it. Didn't hurt the sheep. No, nice tackle.

Nice tackle. Yeah. Form tackles them rugby style. Yeah. And gets the sheep down. Sheep immediately starts doing the distress call. Busts out his recorder. His face is literally blue.

Yeah. And he's like, so what I'm doing? And records the sheep distress call. Gets it. Actually used it. Yeah, used it. Obviously didn't bring a thylasee in. And so that whole thread got cut.

But it's like, it was Eric's favorite part of the whole show. It was my favorite part too. Yeah, like when I told them, I was like, we just, it's one of the things that we just had to cut. Yeah. I thought it was a network call. They're like, oh, it's, it doesn't look. Oh, that's what it was. I thought they were like, it looks cruel or whatever.

You're right. They thought it looks like you were being mean to the sheep. Right. That's right. Yeah, because Eric was like, dude, it is, this is hilarious. Yeah. It's a guy tackling a sheep in a field. I mean, it's nonsense.

Yeah, we'll post it. We'll post that shit. Yeah. It's really funny. It's also what now makes me think that I actually might not be able to, to kick for us sass because he could definitely wear you down yeah he'd wear me down that's my move dude that's how i got married yeah i'll just wear him down you are a fucking caveman oh man i hope we have a jingle because it's time it's it's time it's time it's time i think i know what time

it is do you know what time it is i like it yeah i like it for what what God damn it. It's about time, guys. Oh, my God. Let's go. I'm excited. I think I know who submitted this one. Okay. I think it was Wild Times Willie.

Yeah, at W.T. What makes you think that? Wild Times Willie is now six months into his cross-country drive from Brooklyn. Yeah. I think he's gone back and forth. Colorado. Here it is. Can I, just before we get into it, if you don't know what the Battle Royale is,

let's show these fucking pictures we've been talking about. Oh, that's a good call. That's a good call. Last week, Podcast 66, we had Nick Mancuso on. It was a pretty epic Battle Royal. I asked people explicitly, someone please make these animals. Right. And so the Battle Royal concept last week was make the best animal to battle that fits in your overhead luggage.

It's basically. It did not fit in any. Mine is amazing. It clearly fits. And so, yeah. Yeah, oh my God. This is, can I frame this? It's so, man.

We got legit. We need to fucking hang this in here, man. Of course. Who made this? So this is Dr. Terminator from... What did I say? Dr. Teraminator? Dr. Teraminator.

Okay. So go back to it. So this is incredible. So for a quick recap, and I'm just remembering this by looking at it, Nick Mancuso, professional race car driver, his animal was a hawksbill sea turtle on the legs of a basclist slizzard with the body of, was it a Tenric? Was it a Tenric?

It was a Tenric. It was a Tenric, yeah. Yeah. Patrick's lower left. The lower left. Yep. Yep. It had the body and protective armor of a turtle, box turtle.

Yep. The head of Tasmanian devil. That's correct. And the legs of... No, a spider monkey. Spider monkey. That's right. The appendages of a spider monkey.

Yeah. No, that one's honestly looking at this picture. That's pretty fucking dope, dude. Oh my God. They're all so dope. Mine, which I failed royally on, It was so good at my mind. Look at this finger right here, man.

It's terrifying. In my head, I was going to give it venom. It was just going to be a venom concoction. Yeah. And so I started strong with the head of a typan. And then I went to the body of a platypus, but Nick called me out. Yeah. And he's like, well, you just said the body.

You didn't say the appendages. And the appendages are where the venom is. So I ended up with a fluffy marshmallow body. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, it's a meat pillow. And the arms and legs of an eye, because I just wanted to go creepy. Yep, right here, long finger.

It's good. I mean, the drawing's fantastic. And then what's Retepp's abomination that would never fit in a game? Are you kidding me? It's the same exact size as all the others, maybe a little smaller. Reteb, according to this drawing. Had the head of a wolverine. A wolverine on the body of a screech owl.

Barnaw. With the leg or legs still unclear. Two legs in this version. Of an emu? Casuarine. Casuarine. That's right. So yeah, crazy critters.

They all get together. fight, but Patrick asked the Brosner's, would you please create these? I think we got more, too. Yeah, we got some more. I'm going to bring them up right now. So we have these 3D renditions here. Oh, Antonio made these. Uriguild.

Yeah. Urig wild. On Instagram, Uriguild. You're a Gwild on IG. It's a mess. I mean, at least it's kind of jacked, you know, but it's a mess. Look at the I eye finger there. I like that.

Yeah, that's all right. I mean, they're cool looking. Peters in this one is. Yeah, this is closer. to what it would be. Way too big for a carry-on. Yeah, it's nine feet tall. This would go extinct,

just like the do-do bird did. Because it looks like a do-do-bird. Look at the amount of neckage going on here. I mean, great effort, though. Great effort. Oh, as far as it. Yeah, incredible. Next, there's my winner.

There's yours. Yours scares me. I'll be honest. It's that spider monkey appendage thing. It's the, with the turtle shell. Get out of the problem. It's armored and nimble. Nice rendition.

And then what did we got? And then what do we got for the last one here? That's a mess. It's a mess. No, that's the winner. The art's great. You're kidding. No, the art's amazing.

That thing's the winner, man. That thing comes out of your luggage. You know nothing. With a turtle head? Pull up Will Pascarouks as well. Yeah, let's see what Will drew up. Anyway, I love this. So, Bro, turns, when you, when you, when you, oh, my God, this is amazing.

That's mine. There's your fucking, what a disaster. It's a beautiful disaster. It's no good. It's not. So for this week, thank you guys. Thank you so much, guys. They love the artwork.

We're putting them up in here, by the way. That's a thing. Yes. Yes. All right. So here's the deal. Will moved from Brooklyn to Boulder. Seven months ago.

He was like, I want to. Yes. Yes. He's still moving. He's like, you know, man, Brooklyn's just, it's not for me anymore. Too many hipsters. Yep. So this is going to be a snake draft.

We're going to draft the head, body, what's that? And appendages. Yeah. You have to create a new critter. Okay. You're going to release 500 of these. Okay. into Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Never been, but I get the idea. The goal is to drive out all the hipsters. Okay, are there more so than, like, say, Hollywood or San Francisco or Portland, Oregon? I would say Brooklyn is, like, maybe number one. Okay. Based on where I've been. It's like the king of Staten Island kind of status. Gotcha.

So you've got 500 of these. Here's the problem. Because we've sort of created them in a lab, they're sterile. So you can never get any more. Oh, no. This is it. Yeah. So you've got to release them into Williamsburg, and this is going to drive.

drive out all the hipsters so that that area can be sort of just like reclaimed either by the hearty tough people or just sort of the parks and stuff can be reclaimed by nature. Okay. All right. Head, body, legs.

It's going to drive all the hipsters from Williamsburg, the hipster haven't. Okay. If you live in Williamsburg, don't stop listening. Okay. But do stop being a hipster. Yeah. It's rough.

Yeah. So anyway, I'll go first this time. Okay. Because I have such a good idea that I must have this. Okay. Okay. I'm going to take... Curious what your angle is for this, by the way. Yeah, I'm going to take the body. I'm going to start with my body of a skunk.

I want this animal to be a problem, a pest. I have a lot of skunks where I live in the valley of Los Angeles. There are fuck every goddamn night. I'm smelling a skunk spray. Yeah, I see them too all the fucking fun. You got to have something that makes it, you don't want it just to be dangerous. It's got to be a nuisance.

Yeah. And so I'm taking the body of a skunk with the scent glands. so that it's constantly creating these fart clouds that's going to just drive everyone crazy. Absolutely. That's how I'm starting. Okay, I like that. Peter, why don't you go next tonight?

Okay. You always go, he always goes third to mess up the snake drafts. He fucks it up on his third pick every single time. It's easy. This one, I get three picks right off the bat, and I'm done. So, as the second picker. That's correct. So I immediately started Googling stuff, hipsters hate. That's literally what I'm going right now.

There's a book, by the way. I don't know if you found that on Amazon. It was the first thing that came up. But I was trying to come think out of the box and just, like, think of something that they would hate that's an urban animal. And, you know, I don't know what it is. But I know that they hate anything that isn't unique or cool or different. I like how you're saying these words, by the way. Like, I just like the...

Unique. Yeah, it's nice. So my animal is going to have the body of your standard pigeon. Because it's very common. They will hate the pigeon. It's mainstream. It's very mainstream. It's very mainstream. That's a good call.

It's not like going to the record store to get the Harold and Maud LP. No, that's very hipsterish. Yeah. But it's common, and yet it's a very good base because it flies and more to build on. More to build on while you guys go. Very nice. Good pick. Okay.

I'm taking a pretty unique approach here. So I'm going to start very unusual with the appendages. Okay. Okay? Very simple. It's very clean. Makes a lot of sense. Keep in mind, both the things you guys have said so far, pigeon being very average and body

of a skunk being very repulsive, those are going to drive away a lot of people. Yep. I'm trying to target hipsters here. Right. Okay. So that's important. So I'm going to start with the appendages. Take the simple appendages of a northern lobster.

because I want a lobster come up, cut suspenders. If it sees a pair of suspenders, it just walks up. It'll come up. Yeah. Because they do tend to wear suspenders most days of the week.

Then their pants are around their ankles. They can only sustain that for their reputation twice at most. They're moving. Yeah, that's smart. It's got the arms of a lobster. Got it. You know, just for cutting suspenders here.

Like it. Now, the second thing that I know well about the breed of hipster, they're very self-important. Okay. Zero question. Right. Like they take themselves.

It's a hallmark. It's a hallmark. They take themselves very seriously. And arguably the most important thing to them, along the lines of what we're saying a minute ago, is their music. Wouldn't you agree? Absolutely. Literally the number one biggest thing.

Right. And it's got to not be mainstream. It's got to be really weird. Hard to listen to. Have you heard of the new rapper Slinky Jim? Yeah. And you're like, I haven't. Well, you're not cool.

Yeah. Right. So with my suspender cutting lobster body, I have the head and the head and the thing. throat of a howler monkey. Oh, God damn it. You get where I'm going. Yeah, so what you're doing there, you've added throat,

I'll give it to you. That's fair. Is that just so that they're really loud? It's so they're loud, but most importantly, they're trained critters, correct? Doesn't this how you usually play? So every time it hears something that's not on the billboard charts, yeah.

Just, oh, oh, oh! You know, it's just going to... See, you want to move right now. I do. Yeah, because the howler monkey is just going to go, it's just going to go nutso on this bad music. And if a hipster car hear his music and he's got no suspenders, it's not a good situation.

That's smart. Okay. The suspenders is a good thing to target. Okay. Okay. I have a very specific idea of how I'm going to drive them out. Okay. It's going to be a lot through smell. So I've got the scent glands of a skunk.

I'm going to take the head of a common golden retriever. Okay. Now, here's why. Of all mammals in the animal kingdom, the domestic dog is the most prone

to helotosis caused by bacteria. Okay. Interesting angle. Particularly the golden retriever. So my animal can spray skunk smell out of its ass while simultaneously breathing.

If you smell helotosis breath, it really gets on you. It's almost like you can see it, coming to the air. The helotosis is a myth, mate. But okay. It's not.

It's bacteria that dogs get in the mouth, particularly the golden retriever. Okay. But Brooklyn's a very vertical city. Okay. Very, very tall. Yep. I need my animal to be able to get everyone,

not just people on the ground floor, people that are, you know, at the park. Right. So I need to be able to climb straight up vertical surfaces, glass, whatever. I'm going to take a Jackson's chameleon. Interesting. Okay.

Interesting. They can climb the buildings, right? So I've got the appendages of the Jackson's chameleon. Yeah. It's got the far cloud of a skunk and the horrible halitosis of your common golden retriever. So it's breathing in all windows? So the body of a chameleon in general? No, the appendages.

So where's your body right now? Skunk, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Jackson chameleon appendages. Climb. You're on the 15th story. It doesn't matter. It's just, yeah, you're just stinking them out. Yeah, you're stinking out. It's a smell bomb.

Stinking them out. I get it. Hipsters can't deal with bad smells. I mean, you're just, you're just stinking them. I mean, you're only attacking on one vertical, which I don't agree with. I think Forrest is his animal's smarter so far. You can vote and it'll count for one vote. Quiet over there.

This is my time. Quiet over there. Sure. Go ahead and add herpes to your... Nope. No herpes. Because this animal cannot reproduce. There's only ever going to be 500.

Herpes ability would need to be reproduced and destroy the entire population. So the... Let's go. I love it. I'm loving this one. The hustle. My animal is going to have the face and head of a hagfish. And I'll tell you why.

It's always a good pick. It doesn't really matter. You don't even explain it. No, I will tell you why. Hipsters really. I like that I caught you Googling. I caught him Googling nastiest animals, everybody. I'm sure you didn't pick.

I have control over his screen. I'm sure you didn't get skunk here. I've seen that you Googled the 15 nastiest animals. You are a simpleton. Listen, it's not a simpleton. Pigeon body, hagfish head. Because hipsters really enjoy, in addition to music and not being dirty and gross, they're coffee. They're always at coffee shops drinking liquid teas, green tea, macha.

But what does that have to do with that? Well, my friend, I am about to, shut your mouth. I am about to school the broologist here. Did you know that just a small portion of the mucus from a hagfish can turn a glass of water into a glass of snot-like substance? And they produce 17 pints of this mucus and expel it very easily. We did know this. There's a famous picture, if you could pull it up, of a car crash. I'm busy thinking.

They were transporting hagfish because they used the mucous. You had no idea that just a small portion of it could turn their entire cup of coffee into a snout-like substance. I didn't know that you could turn their coffee into snot. That's right. That's very good. This is a fact from 15 of the world's nastiest animals. You're yelling very loud. Dot edu.

Yeah. Okay. All right. So you've rounded it out. By the way, I also said good pick. I didn't ground it. I rounded it out. Thank you.

All right. Who's next? You're still next. Oh, wait. Was I last? I thought I was in the middle. He's in the middle. Oh, this is the second time he fucked it up.

Where's the shit talking? Okay, go for. Your face is getting very red, sir. Okay. So my, my creature. has the arms of a lobster for sniffing suspenders, the holler monkey's voice to scream anytime there's hipster music going off. Now, what is the opposite of a hipster?

Like a meathead? A meathead. You got it. You nailed it. Someone who's jacked in good shape. Yeah. I'm picking the red kangaroo. You know that shredding, that yoked kangaroo?

Yeah, they don't like that. They don't like that. They're not dealing with good fitness. No. They won't do that. It's scary. By the way, that could just be your only animal and they'd clear out the whole city. That's what I mean.

It's been too good. good a shape for a hipster to deal with. It's got it abs. It's got the... So you've got the body of the kangaroo that's got these lobster claws. And then what's the head? Oh, a howler monkey? That sounds terribly annoying. It's awesome.

And there's 500 of them. It is annoying a hipster or not, but it's very targeted because it's trained to only howl during bad music. I'll give you credit for that. It only snips at suspenders, nothing else. You know, I'm going to change that. I'm going to change it. It only snips it suspenders and curly mustaches.

It can snip that off. Yeah, you can take that mustache right off. Yeah, snipping. You know. So you're just kind of have. essentially just a bunch of naked hipsters with good mustaches running around. Well, maybe. But then they're just normal people at that point.

You know what I mean? You lose the stares of mustache. Oh, my God. You can't play the music. You just got a normal guy. You're turning Brooklyn into a Tom Selleck Toga party. I win. All right.

You're up. My final appendage or my final pick for this is appendages. And you know what? Hipsters hate more than their coffee being turned into snot. He's making an extra pick. he's already picked three. No, he's got pigeon and hagfish. That's it.

You guys are both fucking idiots. No, I agreed with you. I'm on your team right now. I'm on your team. They don't know how battle a whale works. Let's go. Let's go. Appendages of.

Appendages of, because they have two of these and hipsters, they hate anything. They hate blood. They don't want to see their own blood. They get very squeamish. This is a little bit. He's bending the narrative

to fit his pick. They don't like blood. Have you ever met a hip? You dated one for many years. Okay, so they have They are going to have the appendages Of a leech. A leech.

Hey, what is an appendage? Also, leases don't have a penit. They do, they have two suckers, one on the front, one on the back. I guess that's true. And this will be a flying leech. He did it again. A flying leech, hagfish mucus monster. It sucks because you're so good.

It does suck. They're leeches. Fuck off. Yeah, he did it to himself again. That's brutal. That's awful. Well, at least I know how a battle royale works, gentlemen. That's true.

That is, I'm sorry, Brosner's, because Retepp has come twice now. So close. Where his first two picks, he was winning. What are you doing? And he just does this. He's his own worst enemy. I can't say it enough. I'm so sorry, everyone.

Patrick apologizing to the camera. All right, so just to recap, listen, Brousner, give us a way and comment in the YouTube. By the way, you guys comment every week, and we love it. Like, it's important to us. We love getting the comment. here's who won and why. Like, I love it when someone goes on YouTube and explains it. Well, look, like, Peter actually won, because the truth is, you know,

pipsters do need their coffee, and they will not drink it. They don't like blood. They don't like snuck coffee. I love it. I love when they do that. They don't like common animals. To recap, Patrick's critter has the body of a skunk. So did Pat.

You know, and it's smelly. It's got the head of a golden retriever with mush mouth, you know, is just some stinky halitosis going on. Just some switch in there, mate. Come on. And it can go. anywhere because it's got the appendages of a Jackson Camelan. So it's just hunting down

hipsters, throwing smell at them in the building, in the vent, outdoors, and inside, it doesn't matter. You don't want to deal with it. Okay. Peter's Critter has the body of a common pigeon. It's very standard. It's a very, it's so mainstream. It's a mainstream critter. In the body. It's got the head

of a hagfish that's just going around and I guess spitting in coffee and tea. Yeah, it's going into coffee shops. Can produce 17 pints. No, no, I get it. I'm... It's dropping just drops of it, which turn the whole cup to mucus. No, that's good. I like it. I'm not against it. And apparently hipsters hate blood, so it has the appendages of a leech. Two suckers. One on the front body portion, one on the back? Not really an appendage. But it's something. Suckers are an appendage. Look it up, mate. My critter has the absolute yoked body of the red kangaroo, those big

musley ones that you see in Australia. Hipsters hate people in good shape. They hate meat heads. They like to be sickly and coughed. Yeah. Patrick literally, I don't. identified it straight away. Yeah. It was perfect. He set me up for my critter. Yeah. The body of the jack kangaroo.

Uh, the arms of a lobster. So any suspenders, twirly mustaches, just snip, gone. Turning up hipsters right into normal people. I'm a snip yo fucking, Harold and Maud records. Just gone. Yeah. Cut them up. And just in case they're playing some weird music nobody's ever heard of.

You got a howler monkey just coming in screeching in your ears. Please don't make that noise. I want to do that. I want to listen to whatever, you know, slinky jim or dinky taut. your music. Yeah. You can't grow a nice mustache that you twirl with wax. Yeah.

You can't use suspenders to hold up your pants or for aesthetics. I mean, no, I mean, you just bought the new limited release LP of Shrimperton's new album. Yeah. And it's cutting it into pieces. Oh,

it's a mess. Fragments. Listen, I'm calling an audible. Disregard my entire animal. I'm just going to send Pat in. He'll clear the entire fucking time out. Yeah, bad breath.

Sharp nose. A lot of a jack kangaroo. Strange is. Hips, monkey nose. It's terrible. It's so too. Boke holes in their coffee cups. Peter, look, it's because of the patrons,

because of the people listening to this podcast and on the other platform, that we have this incredible studio. Yep. I mean, I love this place. I love sitting here with you guys. Fucking joy. Don't forget the merch buyers. Oh, yeah.

That's true. And the merch people. But you know what? Brosners. He's drunk. Hey, I'm not drunk. I'm not drunk guy. Tell them where they can sign up and get more.

Because we do this twice a week, not just once. Well, we release two a week. And you can get those Four a month, eight a month, on the Patron. Explain the thing, please. Yeah, go to the Patreon. It is just patreon.com. Forward slash wild times pod.

Right? Fuck, God damn it. The Wild Timespodcast.com forward slash info for all of the links, so I don't have to say them. I'm a little tipsy. I definitely won Battle Royale, and I love you, and I hate you too. Let's go eat some pizza made in Forests.

Stonefire. oven? Let's do it. I think we should. We will. Oh, we're still recording. And good night. I'm excited about it. What kind of toppings are we talking about? Dude, it's make your own. We can make a nice margarita. I'm going to make you a mushroom pizza. It's going to blow your mind. Oh, you got some porcini's?

What do you feed your dog besides your own dick? Good night, everybody.