Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #69 - Meth Trout, Fermilab particle Accelerator, & A Tiny Cow

Episode Date: August 3, 2021

Why are these trout on meth? And how did Fermilab clean out it's 4 mile long particle accelerator. Plus, a tiny cow, Battle Royale you don't want to miss. AND Fact or Fiction that'll make you say "WTF?" Patreon @ https://patreon.com/wildtimespod All the links @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com/ino P.S. Sorry for the audio only hiccup. Love you!

Brodners, we are beyond sorry. We're here in our beautiful new Wild Time studio, and somehow we lost the video file. It was devastating. Peter is inconsolable. Legitimately. Yeah, he's inconsolable. And so we're very, very sorry,

but this week we are going to put out an audio-only podcast. However, you guys who watch here on YouTube, you still get to listen. If you keep rolling right after this, we're going to go into the podcast. Unfortunately, the video isn't there to support it. It's also one of the funniest ones we've, ever done and Forrest chugs

an entire seltzer. I had to. Nearly pukes and then nearly dies. My eyes were watering. Yeah. It's a pity. But listen up. The audio file will be great. We promise that we're not going to make this mistake again. So very sorry to all you YouTube Roastner. Technical shit.

Technical shit, it happens. We're not experts at this. We're experts at animal nonsense. Thanks for tuning in nonetheless. And we'll see you next week. Or download on iTunes. Either way, listen to it. It's fucking great. Wild. Welcome back. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Wild Times. It is the greatest show in the world. It's official. We have the most subscribers of any podcast. We just beat Joe Rogan by two subscribers. No, but jokes aside, we are now number one in wildlife in Canada. That's right. So thanks, guys. Also, Daniel Kuhl and our Australian friends, they got to spread the word a little more because we're number two there. Let's get it going. Let's get it real. If you don't know me, if you're tuning in for the first time, I am the host, one of three.

Forrest Galante, the broologist, a biologist who also happens to be a bro, joining me tonight. It's true. Mr. Retep, the Brofessor, Ph.D. and podcast, him, how are you, sir? I am good. I am good, gentlemen. It's been a great day. I'm finally cracking my first beer of the day. Feels a real good. How great is the studio? I'm enjoying it, especially now that we have a little cooler bag, a $3 cooler bag. full of Bud Heavies and Ashland Seltzer. So good.

I'm relaxing. I'm going to spend the night up here tonight. It's like a vacation, man. Dude, don't say that, my girlfriend. It's not a vacation, baby. It's just work. Hold on. It's all work.

It's work. I haven't even thrown it over there yet. It's work. This gentleman working very hard is the producer, world-class producer, of all things, TV, podcast, and just general fun.

He produces a lot of fun. Mr. Papa P himself, Patrick DeLuca, what's up, sir. So weird. He's frozen. His real life camera is frozen. That was it.

I connect with people. I like to connect. I like to be in the moment, and I just got caught up in the moment. I like that. That's fair. The audio listeners are really going to love that. I forgot that we had audio listeners.

It's funny because they compose many of the people who listen to this podcast. Like half. The vast majority. Way more than half. Oh, wow. So for those who just heard that awkward silence, I stared awkwardly into the camera. Yeah.

Because I'm a fucking idiot. Yeah, true. Guys, you know what we haven't done in a while? We haven't checked in with the brosters on the DM front. Oh, shit, we should. We should. Yeah, and I know WT pulled up a couple spice DMs. There's some good stuff.

Yep. He's back. He's back. He's producing. He's finished his two-month-long road trip that we talked about last week. Should have taken 12 hours. Took him two months. There is. Willie, wave high.

Say hello. Everybody can hear you. Somehow Will has made his way Boulder and appears to have broken into a kindergarten classroom. Elementary school. It looks like an elementary school. Where the fuck? Will, unmute yourself. Where are you, son?

Live from first grade. It's a time machine. Love it, man. Love it. Will is back. Let's get into some Brostner DMs because we love it. Let's do it. All right, let me ask you guys. Let me ask you guys this question. This question that HMB at HMB. I don't know.

It's a weird. HMB the third, son. Ah, that makes sense. HMB the third. says, could a bald eagle kill a human if it wanted to? That's the question. That's the DM question. Well, okay, so the picture has already come up.

Yeah. And so my answer was going from no to undeniably yes. Well, yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, so there's a picture of the size of the bald eagle's talon. Did you know that word before 10 seconds ago? Talon? Yeah.

What the fuck are you talking about? Just asking. Well, he thought it was pronounced Toulon. At least I didn't think it was out of space. They might be from out of space. But so, I mean, it's way bigger than you would think. And it's just enclosing a full human fist for those that are listening and not here. And I also think that if it wanted to, it could kill me.

That's for sure. Check it out, HMB3. You can kill a person with a pebble. You can kill a person with a Swiss Army knife. Okay? People die very easily. We are, as Retev likes to say, incredibly meager. We're meager.

We're soft. We're weak. We're frail. Look at that thing. Look at the talons on that eagle. One of those to the jugular? No question. Now, the question you should be asking yourself is would a bald eagle kill a person?

And the short answer is no. Can they? Yes. Lots of things can call us. Tiny callus. Kill us? Kelly spiders, big birds, you name it. We're very weak.

We're very supple, delicate little. Even if the bald eagle got you in the leg, man, hits your femoral, femoral artery. You're fucked. I didn't, those talents are shocking. They're gigantic. Yeah, they're incredible creatures. Beautiful birds. Could kill you, won't kill you, don't worry about it.

Shouldn't. That's what I say. Yeah. Don't ever. What do you guys got? Any brosters on your dock? Oh, yeah, man. I got a big one.

Oh, let's go. All right. I love that. He's just like a little chuckle right before. Well, I just because... He's taking out the profanity. Kirsten is saying this. I'm not saying it.

At underscore Kirsten underscore says, she wrote, this idiot kid is reading, I don't know why he's an idiot. This idiot kid is reading a book when a mama bear and her cub walk onto the porch. Oh, I've seen this video. I have not. It's cool.

Is this the best way to deal with a bear? So what we're going to do here is look at the video, loading up some Insta. It's a good, I've seen this video. The kid's probably about 14 years old. Oh, he looks over his shoulder. He was doing a selfie. Let's see what he's saying here.

He's face to face with a black bear. Oh, no, and the cubs. Wait, there's a cub there too? Yeah, and now he got... Well, that's the whole thing. Yeah, that's craziness. What? The tenacity of this black bear.

Are you kidding me? Like, he just saw it. This is an act of some sort. It's not an act. It's not? It is undeniably an incredibly habituated bear. It's a bear that eats out of trash cans for a living. Zero quest.

Yeah. So what's going on here? This is a bear that is used to people. It's not feeling threatened. Did the kid do the right thing? No, you don't go, hey, boo-boo and go for the old tummy tape. Hey, boo-boo. So actually, I have a question, though.

Yeah. He's sitting there. So this kid is sitting on his porch, filming a selfie video. Yep. Based on my 15-year-old nephew, they constantly are sending each other these. It's all they do. Yeah.

And a black bear comes up and then sees that he's followed by a very small cub. And he just kind of starts talking to her. What the fuck should he have done? Just frozen completely? No, slowly backed away. He was in a bad spot, though. He was sitting down. He was sitting down.

It's, I don't know. Because I feel like the act of standing up maybe could. Totally. Could very much so be threatening. I mean, staying still being quite, look, he's swinging around a camera selfie. That's true. He's not exactly there. Yeah, stop that.

He's not exactly there trying to tuck into a corner. I mean, best thing he can do, you got to know that he saw that bear coming, right? He saw it climbing up over the road. Yeah, because he was looking at the camera. I hate when people try and fake that, and you won't realize it for a moment. And then you think, and you're like, oh, of course he saw it. He's already looking at the camera. Like, it's behind him.

Right. So as that bear comes up, before it crests the porch, you make some noise, you clap your hands together. No black bear. crisis averted. Now it sneaks up on you a little bit, maybe like that. You know, maybe stay still, maybe slowly get up and walk away. Don't take a selfie video. That's, I mean, I would, I would do it. I'd take a selfie video because it's cool. Yeah, yeah. You shouldn't do it as a bare response item. Also, before we get into any more Brosner DMs, I have to address the elephant that's not in the room.

Okay. Don't talk about Will that way. No, this is very important. Dawson Lennar, a Brossner. Okay. Did something amazing. but us here. Dawson, I believe, is in college, judging by his Instagram. He sent us an actual box of fruit brute. No, he's procured. No, he did.

He sent it to my office. We got to put it on the desk. I know, and I'm fucking, it is going to have a permanent home here. He sent it like two months ago. I wanted to surprise you guys with it. I was going to get it yesterday, literally get a text message that went to everyone

who has an office in this building, that there was a fire in the building because someone microwaved some metal. Oh, no. But Dawson Leonard sent us a legit box of fruit brew. Dawson, you're the man. Thank you for doing that. Dawson, that's insane, dude. It will live here, yeah.

Didn't I say that if someone finds fruit fruit, they get to go on an adventure with us? I think I did. Yeah, well, we should absolutely. Yeah, Dawson, you're in. You're in. When we start doing shit, when we start filming adventures and tracks, you're in. You got the fruit brute to us. We said we were going to do it.

We're going to do it. Well, I also told them we were going to taste it on the air. expired, I think, 30 some odd years ago. No, we can't open it. It's like a mint fucking action figure. You can't open that. Like, there's part of me that wants to taste it. Of course. Because it sounds so good, fruity cereal with marshmallows.

Of course. But there's part of me that wants to open the transformer and play with it. But you don't buy the collectible. You can't do it. No, it's going to live here. It's going to live on the desk. It's going to look great.

Front and center. It's a good ad. That's amazing. Maybe Kellogg's will bring it back. Should we just keep pushing for that? Should we like really get aggressive? towards Kellogg's? Yeah, I think we should. Yeah. Maybe we start like a petition or something like that.

Eritap, quick question. Are you on the Kardashians getting your hair done? Because you're on your phone texting while we're doing the podcast. Listen, I wanted to also give a shout out since you were talking about the fruit brute. An amazing brosner sent us sent us these, these fucking, whoa, what do we got? These, the Wild Times, the Lemley Thylacine bookmarks. Oh, yeah, dude. I don't have four of them here.

Oh, yes. Have you seen each? Including Will. This is dope. Yeah. Oh, that's hilarious. These are the thylacine awareness group of Australia bookmarks, correct? Right.

So look at this. On the back side, you've got the lovely Wild Times logo. Oh, my God. That's so funny. On the front side, you've got a thylacine, or is it a cat? Is it a thylacine or is it a cat? This was Broan Roberts. Bro and Roberts.

See, that's, and when you call me out on the phone, you're looking to see. A brain fart. Looking for his name. I could have told him. you was Broan Roberts. What? Oh, I bet you could have for us. What was the name? Speaking of not remembering names, you said it.

What's the guy? The guy from the thing that we fought with on air? Neil Waters. Neal Waters. That's the whole thing. This is the Neal Waters' Stylance Bookmark. It's incredible. By the way, Broan appears to be about 20 at most. In fact, I don't even know how old Brin is. This is more initiative than I took on anything until I was at least in my 30s.

By the way, these are what a stud. I've seen you do less on a TV show than this. And these are like, this is thick. This will last pass when I'm dead, this thing. This thing is quality right here. Thank you, Broin. Thank you to all the brosters. Let's do one more. Let's do one more.

Let's get into the news, man. Yeah, let's do it. All right, what else do we got? Let's see, is there something good? Let's see. Oh, this is interesting. I haven't looked at this yet. I'm very curious.

What is it? What is it? What is it to mind? Chris J. Roach says, this is actually super common. And even Native Americans used to describe them together. Highly recommend reading The Voice of the Coyote by Frank Dubey. I think you all would love it. Okay.

Okay. So just a suggestion for the group. Yeah. What do you think? I think it sounds cool. But it's because he commented on our Instagram post that showed the coyote. Do you remember the video of the Coyote and the Badger? This one right here.

I posted this same video. So, yeah. Apparently, like old Native American text. Text described coyotes and badgers running in the same crew. This relationship. Yeah. Which is pretty cool because I remember when we first showed this video of a coyote and badger that were caught on a trail cam like playfully entering into this drain pipe. Yeah, yeah, we broke this down. I remember that. Yeah, that was one of the things we talked about.

It was like, these two shouldn't be broing out. But apparently there's Native American texts. I don't know which tribe that describe coyotes and badgers hanging out. Look, I've said this a million times. I'll say it a million more. People that actually spend their time in the environment with the creatures are the best scientists. They're scientists that don't realize they're scientists, observation scientists. And I get into fights with serious academics about this all the time because they're like, oh, we know more. Like we've done the studying, you know, we've written the text, we've published the papers. You do not know more. If you live with coyotes and badgers and observe coyotes and badgers every single night of your life because that's where

you live as a Native American, as a native, whatever place you're from, whether you're in the Columbia and Amazon looking at Cayman, or whether you're in the Galapagos looking at tortoise or in Africa looking at big game, whatever it is. You know more about that than the Western scientist. I'm sorry, you just do. Sure, of course. By the way, that's... Is there someone who would debate that? Yes.

Most academics, dude. Well, listen, here's the problem. It's with everything, because, like, I've learned everything that I know about my business and all the technology, setting all this bullshit I set up. you know, because I did it, dude. I came to L.A. to work for $500 a week as a night AE, which if you don't know, is just this whole technical job of doing a bunch of technical shit.

Yeah. It's not editing and editing. Downloading and sorting media. But, you know, like... A lot more than that, too. It is a lot more. Then people who went to film school, no offense, or whatever, they come into the job.

They kind of would, like, I've worked with so many AEs. They'd have a, like, a way that they thought was better when I've been doing it for like five years, I'm like, no, no. If you do that, like, it will be fucked up. By the way, I just saw him get angry as if it was happening right now. Do you know who he's talking about? Because he's obviously talking about someone from film school. Oh, no, it's just a parade of, you get a parade of these kids, man.

It's funny because I have a friend of the family who did me a favor back in the day. And I owed him one. And his kid is a lot younger and just graduated film school. Yeah. And he was like, hey, we talked to my son. He was going to come out to L.A. He wants to, like, get involved. Sure.

I've had those calls. I know what you're talking about. I was like, hey, man, like, if you want to just, like, get on set, you know, like, I can, by the way, if I have a P.A., this is on a scripted show, right? Right. If I have a PA position that's open, we'll get no less than, I'm not exaggerating, 1,500 application. Yeah. Sure. Yeah.

When I first got out of here, it took me years to even get around a set. Of course. Sure. And I was like, dude, if you want to come out, like, whatever, I've got this thing going on. We can get you on as a PA. You'll learn a bunch of stuff, whatever. And he was like, oh, he's like, I'm more on the directing track. Oh, my God.

Yeah. And just in his mind, because he had gone to film school, he thought he was going to literally jump off a bus. And someone was going to like, like, you want to direct film? We're doing the sequel to ET. I think you're the guy, like, yeah, because he made a short film and his thesis program. Right. Well, the equivalent of the equivalent for people not in the industry, that's essentially getting out of college and saying, I'm more on the CEO path.

Like, because the director is the main head honcho of a film or a TV show. I'm more on the CEO path. I'm not really interested in learning how to work. I just want to go right to the top. Yeah. I mean, and it's exactly exactly right. I took several business classes. I'd like to be CEO.

Yeah. Like normally I'd be sitting here thinking like, man, wait, are we offending? Like, and then I'm thinking like, none of our brosners fucking are like that. I guarantee it. If they like us, there's no way. If we're offending you, you're the problem. Grab a mirror. I just, I want to one day go through all the podcasts and just cut out every statement of Forrest attacking the fans.

No, I always single out. There's one fan right now listening going, I came out of business school. I could have been a CEO. Now he's going to go look in the mirror and be like, hmm, Forrest is right. Maybe I shouldn't have been like that. Yeah, see, I just changed someone's life. Guys. Yeah, get into it.

It's time, right? What's in the news? Wait, you guys want it? Maybe we could do like a little... What's in the news? Number one on the fucking show doc. You know I want to talk about it. I've been dying to get your opinion on this.

I'm for it. Tea it up. Okay. All right. You're a nice trout. Sounds great. You're trout. It's a good life.

I love trout and I like how you're saying it with a hard tea at the end. Yeah. Trout. Do you live... Is that a hard tier? Was that a German accent? Stand by. You live in a nice, clear stream.

It's lovely. Your life's good. You eat bugs. You're a trout. Okay? You're a trout. It's nice. But you're a trout that lives in Riverside County, California.

Okay. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing great either. Except that there's no river in Riverside. Stand by. All right. Judgment tone. There's a few.

You live in Riverside, California. All of a sudden, you're addicted to meth. What? You heard me right. This is in the... the news, ladies and gentlemen, Trout are getting addicted to meth. Oh, my God. I love that it's close by. It's close by. Yeah. And I don't know that this happened in Riverside, but it's just somewhere I picked.

Before I dig into it, let me turn to you or tap. How are Trout becoming addicted to meth? Well, I mean, it's in Riverside. I watched a lot of those cop shows that are on TV. I forget which is the one it is, but a lot of them take place in Riverside County, California. That's what made me think about it, actually. I'm not going to. kidding. Yeah. So I'm assuming that a lot of meth waste from the toilet maybe goes into the rivers? Okay, so you think that meth heads are

passing waste and it goes out? Either waste that's a really good guess. So this, by the way, is actually in Prague in the Czech Republic. Correct, I was going to get to that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, so a Czech university in Prague actually figured out exactly what Retep is saying, but nobody else would figure this out, which is that as the methamphetamine addiction problem continues to increase, meth heads are doing their drugs,

peeing and pooping, flushing it down, and apparently in the Czech Republic, that goes straight into the lovely clear streams that I was mentioning, and these tiny, minuscule like, parts per million of methamphetamine is getting into the water, and the trout themselves are becoming addicted to the meth, so much so that they are having withdrawal symptoms

when you pull the trout out of that meth water and put it into clear water, clean water. Whoa. Did you see how they could actually tell that they're withdrawing? There was actual physical characteristics. It's a very long paper. Sure, sure, sure. And I don't really remember. But what I remember, the fart that I remember that was kind of funny is that in order to help the trout sort of overcome their physical withdrawal symptoms, they were giving them antidepressants.

Wow. That's how bad it was. This is fucking wild. wild man. The fact that, so what kind of behaviors are they displaying when they come out of the water? Are they just like super fidgety and like? Well, I don't know how you know a trout is. That's what I mean. It does explain their methodology.

It's long and boring. Sure. Yeah. But dude, like, think about, I mean, that's no fucking joke, right? So you guys know the feeling of, like, you have a three day weekend. That's a big party weekend. Like, let's say you go to Vegas and you stay one day too long because you should never stay three days in Vegas. Yeah, ever.

No one should live there. And you come back and it's Sunday or it's Monday and you're just in the pits, man. You're miserable. You feel like shit. And you're like the only thing that's going to allow me to feel better and get to sleep is another glass of wine. Yeah. Because I have to meet myself off. Of course.

These fucking trout have meth in their systems that's getting. So these people's livers have already filtered most of them out. Whoa. So what they did, I was just looking at. quickly to look at the methodology is they would put two streams of water. So they'd have these trout that were in the meth-laced water. Okay? Then they'd pull them out, put them in a clear tank, basically.

Then they'd have two streams of water, one that had one microgram of meth per liter of water and one that was clean, and all the trout would show a preference for the stream of meth. So they would go make a choice to go back to the meth water. So they're addicted. They're addicted. That shows addiction. That's showing that there is two options and all of them.

them are going for the addiction one. I mean, it's, it's got to be. Congrats to these fucking, this is cool. We just shit on academia a minute ago. These guys are awesome. That's incredible. These guys and girls and everything else. And can I just point out, you're not getting permits in the U.S. to do meth trout.

Like that's not a study. You're not getting that here. That's a good shirt. You got to go to the Czech Republic and say, look, I want to give these trouts some meth and see what happens. I'm guessing it's a two-sentence email before they're like, sure, go for it. Here's the math. Or just you don't have to email any.

and you just do it. It's true. Yeah. It's quite possible. Yeah. Well, that's, I mean, like, that's how you guys could come up with a good reality show. I mean, it should obviously. We make a docu-series, but sure.

I mean, Meth Trout, a docu-series, mate. What are you talking about? I would just follow-in-law. Oh, I get what you're saying. You're saying because I called it a reality show. Exactly. Shut the, you and Forrest, man. It's like you rode in on here on these high horses that are way up.

We're very, we rode here together. Remember? That's a very, very dirty car. Yeah. Speaking of high horses. Yeah, you got a high horse. Or do you have a tiny cow? A tiny cow!

Yeah! Nice. I love this. How's that for a transition, though? That was beautiful. The best one that we've ever done. It's legit. It's so good.

In studio chemistry, baby. That's it. Dude, this is adorable. We do battle royals all the time. Sometimes they're about fighting animals. Sometimes they're about cute animals. I am taking the world's smallest cow. Head body and legs.

Next time we have a cute animal here. Straight up. So tourists in Bengals. Bangladesh are flocking to see the smallest cow on earth. It's tiny. It's ridiculous. Or Ronnie. Ronnie, yeah.

The cow, which a picture will be pulled up any minute, is getting 15,000 people a day paying guests to come see him or her. 26 inches tall, full grown has the proportions of a scary-ass-looking bull. Yep. Yeah. Like, it looks like one of those bulls that. If you just blew up like the head and shoulders, you'd be like, well, Oh, big cow. Yeah.

Yeah. But look at Ronnie. Super cute. Obviously, they're saying it is a genetic anomaly. So cute. It's fucking... Got dwarfism. Right.

World smallest cow, man. I'm just... I can't stop looking at this thing. I'll tell you what. I went to the L.A. County Fair two years in a row when I was in my 20s and had a real good time. I mean, it was like a real, like, fun kind of trashy day. County Fair is such a good time.

Yeah, you're eating gross shit. I was just going to say the fried... I was going to say fried Oreo. Yeah, it's the same thing. They have a racetrack there. You're riding rides that, like, there's a one in a hundred chance you're going to die. Have you seen the people that assemble those rides? They're called carnies.

Yeah. And they didn't graduate elementary school. It's actually quite terrifying when you think about, like, the caliber of human that is basically protecting your life when you're on a carnival ride. And the ride is just you spinning, essentially. Yeah, you're covered and throw up if it's a good day. At least one person in your party's doing coke in the porta potty. I have to interfere with my group of friends. Coke at the carnival sounds like a nightmare.

But I went two years in a row. One of them was with Retep. Yeah, I remember. I was wearing a terrible green shirt. I was in one of my fat stages. Yeah, you were heavier then. But anyway. And they had it both years.

And I felt bad about doing it, but I did it both times. You could pay a dollar and go into the. this tent and see the world's largest bull. Okay. And, you know, obviously this bowl was miserable. And I kind of, you know, if it was me now, I wouldn't support it financially. Right. I'd still want to see it, to be honest. I would. I know. But I felt so. In person, though, you know, like, it was, it was freakish. But I mean, it was, I'm not kidding. I think it was 10 feet tall at the head. It was clearly like some sort of, you know, some sort of freakish thing that was bred for it. I'm sure given tons of steroids. So many steroids. It's growth hormone, bull and growth.

hormone. Yep. But it was just like, I mean, it really was like looking at an elephant. Yeah. It was so strange. Some fucking crazy shit, man. I mean, you see, they do a lot of videos where like Kevin Hart will stand next to Shaq. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's, I mean, it's akin to that. But even that, like, Shaq is a fucking mystery of human, of human proportions. Right. Because he was super athletic and muscle bound. That too, yeah. And also seven, two or three. It's wild, man. Yeah, it's absolutely not.

Dude, I think about that sometimes when I see these like 23, 24-year-old MMA fighters. Yeah. I like to go to, I'm a big UFC fan. I've been to a lot of the fights. It's a lot of fun. And my buddy, who's a comedian, got a bunch of really good tickets to go see this one event in Minneapolis. And we were really close.

And we were sitting very close to Dana White. I'm not bragging. The point of the story is, this was like Brock Lesner's either his first or second UFC fight. Yeah. And he won the fight. And he walked. right by where we were and me and my friend from Aswego both were like,

holy shit, get our hands up and just got this monstrous high five from Brock Lesnar. Nice. I don't know how big he is. It's just, it's, it's not like Brock Lesnar's seven feet tall, right? I think he just maybe, he might be like six, five. He's really, he's tall. And like big, burly. It's so big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, are we legit the same exact exact issue? Dude, I there's a guy, the guy who owns the gym that I go to. Yeah. Super nice guy, soft spoken, quiet, Com, he talks like this. His name's Lucas. I like him.

I love him. He's one of my favorite people that I know in the town of Santa Barbara. He's probably 6-7 and probably between 280 and 300 pounds and probably that's pretty slim for that height. Probably 11% body fat.

Yeah. So it's just, yeah, he's a genetic anomaly. I see him and like he gives me a hug when I come into the gym and it's like, I'm a baby. A little child. Like I'm like, oh, my head's by his waist. This is now.

And I'm not a small guy. He's just, he's so big, dude. It just feels like they're a different being than you. Totally, totally, like a whole different species. Thank God we don't still fight wars with swords and maces. Because if you saw that, like, you're on the battlefield and you just look and he's running at you with a fucking long sword. You got nothing. Can I be your boyfriend?

Is there anything I can do to live here? I mean, that's how I feel when I'm around you two, because it's just like I'm so much bigger and more muscular and healthy. than you guys. Definitely. That I was looking on camera at myself and I'm just like, God, I look like a fucking Viking battle warrior. You do look like you can be related to Eric. Eric the Red. Is that what you think? Yeah. Let's get into

it. The Vikings are long gone. I love that. Look, you just gave me. I liked this one. Yeah, let's do it. So, there's a particle accelerator at the Fermilab in Illinois. Okay. Yep. Fermat. Is that, that's, yeah, that's right by where I used to live.

Yeah, as you would say, it's in Illinois. And so this is a story that recently came out. Yeah. But it's from 1962. Okay. Interesting. So they built this amazing particle accelerator. Yep.

They had this brand new tube that they'd built to do all sorts of crazy experiments that, you know, astrophysicists understand that we don't. And they had some sort of blockage inside the particle accelerator. Okay. How do you think they would clear it? Because they couldn't take the tube. They couldn't take the tube apart. Snake? Like one of those plumbing snakes?

Somebody just like... You know the plumbing snake? The little bl... Nah, it's like air pressure. Air pressure. That's a good idea. It's a good idea. If you have a four mile long tube

that's... Four miles? It's that long? Four mile long particle accelerator that shoots 200 billion electron volts. I missed the four mile part. Yeah, no, you're not... You're not snake in anything.

They were trying, they were crawling around in there. They did everything, right? I have no idea. No idea. Put a fucking naked mole rat through it, didn't they? That's not a bad. idea. They actually strapped a fuzzy diaper

to a ferret. A ferret named Felicia. Okay. And they just unleashed Felicia. There she is. Into... Oh, I love her. Look at that... Is that a real picture? It's a real picture. That's what photos

look like in the 60s. That's a pretty good photo of the ferret. So she went through, they were trying to move the blockage. They thought she would just climb through every passage if they just put her in there enough times. And Felicia went in. They put the diaper on so that she wouldn't poop

and create a new problem. Sure. That would make things worse. And they just sent her through for days and days and days and days. They sent Felicia the Ferret through the particle accelerator. This is fucking brilliant. I love it. Did it work? No.

Oh. Sorry. I almost lied, but I was like, they're going to Google it. Yeah. My aunt was, so when I grew up in Africa, we used to visit once a year to California. That's why we ended up moving here. My aunt lived in Los Angeles. She lived in Venice Beach, actually. And my grandparents lived in San Francisco. So those are the two stops we'd make. Always, every year, no matter how old I was, it was mind-blowing coming to

America. Anyway, my aunt one year, and this is back in the days when I think you were allowed to, or maybe you weren't, had ferrets. Oh, yeah. Long, yeah. They only banned ferrets, I think, like 10 or 15 years ago. Okay, whatever. Well, she had two of them. Okay. And these two ferrets, albeit get stinky, had these like tubes that she installed in her house. So like, imagine a room like this, but then up the wall, along the ceiling, down, because she had like a one-bedroom apartment in Venice, but she wasn't. Yeah, I've seen this before. Okay, okay.

There's some YouTube channels like this. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Well, my aunt was ahead of the YouTube curb. This was long before YouTube. And, yeah, so she had this one-bedroom house in Venice, and she got these, she's African, so she's like my house. You know, there's animals everywhere. So she got these two ferrets.

I think they were probably rescues. And her all house was this tube maze of these ferrets. Nice. And it's amazing the way they crawl through those tubes. Like, I'm an animal guy. I get it. But like watching these ferrets, and I remember this distinctly being like 10 or 11 years old, sitting on her couch and watching these ferrets go straight up these vertical tubes

and just snake all around the house over and over. It's an amazing thing to see. It's pretty fucking cool, man. I mean, there's this person on you. YouTube who basically has takes care of some endangered otters. I think she's in Japan, Japanese otters or something like that. Okay. Japanese River Otters is extinct. Well, no. So anyway, it doesn't matter. They have a small, uh, Asian small, quote otter. Yeah. They're the really cute small otters. But dude, I mean, like, she feeds them sushi. They sit at the table. And then, you know,

she has them on the, the fun play equipment, whatever it is. Yeah. Watching animals on, like, human made play equipment that we think it would be fun for them to play. in is the best. I mean, you're talking about fucking animals just in tubes around you. They're having the time of their life.

You're having the time of your life. I love it. Let me ask you this. How does a ferret climb up a vertical plastic tube? I do not know. I mean, there is nothing

that mustilids cannot do. So that group of like weasel ferret creatures, mustilids, I think we talked about this once before on the pod. It's the only animal I won't catch. Like if you're like,

go catch that animal, I will never grab. a rabid ferret or weasel or... Because you just know that it could get its head around. It can bend all the way back. Like, they can maneuver their body into knots. It's like, it's like the mammal version of an eel. I mean, they're just...

But like way smarter and meaner. They're amazing the way they can move. I don't have... I just have this on in the background right now. Oh, look at this. Dude, she's giving this otter sushi in this little dish. By the way, like beautiful sushi. And there's two of them.

This is amazing. Go check out this channel. Oh, my God. This is so cute. Watch the way this thing eats this fucking sushi, dude. Well, she also put a very adorable bow tie on him. It's his birthday, man. Oh, my God.

Look at the way he investigates it. That's like... Not to mention, this otter is eating better than I ever eat. I was just going to say, he's eating bluefin, yellow tail. Hey, I'm curious for us, just now that he brought this up. So I worked on a documentary years ago as a one-off about bluefin, right? It was the sea shepherds, went to the Mediterranean, and we're cutting open bluefin. and tuna nets.

Yep. Right. So I got this really close affinity for bluefin just because I spent credible. I wrote an hour of TV about it.

Yep. So I'm kind of confused about whether or not I should, like, I don't know. Can we eat bluefin? Should you eat bluefin? That's the question here.

All right. This is a thing. I've said this before. The difference between ethical and legal. Okay. Right. Have I eaten bluefin?

Absolutely. Right. Incredibly delicious fish. Probably the best. Right. Do I choose to eat it? No, because I believe that it's, for the most part, unethical. Okay.

There's a thing called, and I'm just going to talk about the tuna we have here off the coast, California, the bluefin. There's a thing called the Eastern Pacific tuna treaty or something like that, Eastern Pacific tuna organization, something like that. And it's all the countries that share this one tuna stock. So as you know, when you worked on the documentary, they travel all around the globe. Yep. So these Pacific tuna, Eastern Pacific Bluefin, Pacific Blufin, rather, they travel from California, Baja, Mexico, all the way down like, you know, Mexico. Costa Rica, blah, blah, blah, Guatemala, all the way across to Japan, Hawaii, et cetera. Wow.

So all these countries, 10 different countries, let's say. I don't remember how many it is. Share this tuna stock. Okay. Okay. And what happens is unless they're all in agreement as to how to manage that fishery, it all goes tits up. And actually this year, for the first time in like 15 years, the treaty is completely

collapsed and it's a free-for-all. And we can talk about that. It's a goddamn disaster. Yeah, yeah. Pacific Bluna-Toonfish. Pacific bluefin tuna stocks are at like, it's somewhere between 3 and 8% of their population total. Now, the problem is, you hear that, right?

You're like, whoa, there's only 3% left. Even if there's only 8, even if there's only 20% of their population left, you go, hey, let's not touch those fish. Let's get their population go back. But we're saying that as rich Californians sitting in a studio right now. Right. Okay, Guatemala is not saying that. Okay, Costa Rica is not saying that.

Japan, who can't afford to say that, is also. not saying that. So unless all those countries in the Pacific Tuna Treaty agree on it, it's all basically bullshit. And they haven't been able to come to an agreement this year for the first time ever at all, and it was mismanaged to begin with. So now the

Tuna Treaty's just gone collapse. So at something like 8% of their population left, it's now a free-for-all. So with the treaty collapsing, it's completely unregulated. Japan can take as many as they want. Guatemala can take as many as they want, Costa Rica, so on and so forth. So, you know, do I think,

that we'll be able to eradicate bluefin tuna to the point of extinction? Probably not. I, you know, I mean, I think we're capable of it. I don't think we necessarily will. Is there population healthy? Is it a good thing to eat? No. It's terrible. Could you imagine, and sorry, I'm going on a bit of a rant here. No, no, I like this topic a lot. Scientists say that if you were to leave the oceans alone for seven years, they would be back to 99% of their stock. Okay, a whole lot of species are at 2%, 5%, 10% of their population. It would only take seven years of not touching the ocean for it to rebound to basically perfect. Sure.

That's it, seven years. And with a species like bluefin tuna that grows incredibly quickly, it probably take like three or four. So if we just decided, just these seven, eight countries that I'm mentioning, we're just like, hey, four years, no bluefin, nobody. Not one recreational, not one commercial, nobody. We could all have as much fucking bluefin tuna. as we want to eat. Sure. We could be drowning in bluefin tuna.

It wouldn't cost $70 for two pieces this big at the fancy sushi restaurant. It would be a trash fish that costs the same amount of sardines. And yet, tragedy of the fucking commons. If I don't take it, you're going to take it. So I'm going to take as many as I can. Fish costs a fortune. There's none of them left. Totally unaffered.

Well, really, the, you know, and this is not to villainize anyone. It's one of my favorite countries I've ever been to. But Japan consumes 80% of the world's bluefin that's consumed each year. Wow. 80%. That's crazy. That's crazy. Huge country by population.

Right. And plummeting. So they ate a lot of bluefin. There's also something about the economics of extinction. And I don't know if you know about how Mitsubishi has this, the conglomerate, Mitsubishi, the same one that makes cars. Yeah.

Owns a huge stockpile of frozen bluefin. Really? acquiring it more and more and more and more. I did not know about this. No. It was a part of the documentary that we made. It's called the economics of extinction. And there was this idea.

That's a cool show. That they wanted to have this massive supply of bluefin for when they go extinct. Because now they'll have this edible meat of an extinct animal, and the price will go up astronomically. Oh, absolutely. Supply and demand. So it's estimated that of all the blue, at any time, all the bluefin meat in the world, 40% of it is owned by the Mitsubishi. Sitting in like sub-zero freezer temperatures. Yeah, exactly.

Look at this. You know, I don't want to get sued by Mitsubishi. No, it's not going to be. This is journalism. I mean, you're just, this is already out there. Our journalism.

Also, I will say that 40% statistic is as of like 2012. Right. So it's probably higher now. Yeah, the blue thing thing, the blue thing. We've been drinking.

We've been drinking. We have. We have. What? What are you guys talking about? You're, you have a tolerance to alcohol because you have a problem. Just drink three more and you'll be happy again.

I've had two beers. I've been happy all my life. You guys. But they are goddamn delicious. And it's because they're, They swim so fast. They never stop swimming. That's why it has that.

That must be why it has that purply color. There's so much blood that goes through it. It is tasty. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's like sea butter. What's your guys' favorite sushi? Sushi fish?

Salmon, hands down. I love salmon. So here's the thing. I'm spoiled. I'm a spoiled brat. I get to go out in the ocean, catch white sea bass, yellow tail, which is hamachi, halibut.

I eat sushi oil. It's my favorite food in the world. Yeah, yeah. To me, the best fish is a salmon. I just think it's like buttery and soft and beautiful. Also, we could go into a whole thing on how that's done so poorly. But regardless, I just love it. Salmon sushi.

Salmon cooked. I'm going to go. I just got introduced to this recently, and it's sea trout, dude. It's so. Oh, yeah. Seatrout's great. They don't have it a lot of times. And I've only been in this place where they have it.

And I've gotten it, it tastes kind of like Amberjack a bit. And it's very buttery and it's like delicious, man. Octopus for me, hands down. Really? Yeah, I mean, I don't get it in a room. How dare you? The poster. I want to eat something smarter than me.

Smart. It makes me feel good. It's like the guys when they go hunting in wedding crashes. He's like, I don't want to hunt a quail. I want to fucking hunt something with talent. Right, right. Yeah, octopus is my favorite by far. It's delicious.

A little lemon squeeze, man. It's great. I mean, it's delicious. I love uni. You can't beat it. But, dude, if you get a bad piece of octopus, it tastes like a fucking tire. Yeah, true. I've never forgotten one, luckily.

Spanish mackerel. You ever have that? Oh, yeah. It can be too fishy for me. It was my ex's favorite. It gets that fischiness. It can get fishy, but I like, have you ever had one that's the whole fish and it's fried? It's flat fried.

You eat the bones. Oh, yeah. They break apart like God. Delicious. Oh, my God. Pat, are you one of those people who likes just to, have pungent foods that are... Not when it comes to fish.

No, but I like harsh flavors. That's why... He's not for us? How do you know? Because we eat out together like 200 nights a year. He likes to put a lot of vinegar on his fish. That's for sure. Oh, man, I made fucking fish and chips the other day. Yeah.

So good. It's all excited, man. Went to the fish market, got the fish. I'm doing this whole fucking thing, man. The batter? How'd you do the batter? Yeah, how did you do the batter? That's a point...

Put like beer batter. Yeah, yeah. A little beer in there, butt heavy. Yeah. Excellent. Making the chips. Went to three different stores. Couldn't find malt vinegar.

No. I was fucking freaking out, dude. See, it's because you don't live down the block from a whole foods anymore. That's true. Yeah. Well, Ralph's, I went to a Viard. I couldn't fucking find it. I was panicking.

I get home. I'm making the shit and I'm just, I'm in a shit mood because I have no malt vinegar. And then I say to Christina, I'm like, look, I'm making this fish and chips. I'm real excited. No malt vinegar. I'm to try and figure something out. She's like, oh, yeah, we have a bottle in the thing. So it worked out.

Bro. I love fish and chips. Nothing worse. Nothing worse than when that happens, man. Where you're just like frantically looking around for something. And then boom, wallet, it was under a piece of paper on the desk.

It was under my hat. Patrick was doing that for his car keys before this podcast started. I sure was found it. It was in the bag, which I looked in four times. Which is where you would put car keys. This place was like a fucking explosion of cables, cords,

tripod. And now it's like, look at it. It's beautiful. Just wait, we're going to get a couple more knickknacks for the desk. Nicknacks. Some W.T. Wild Times paraphernalia. Yeah, for sure.

We already got the bookmarks there. The fruit brutes coming in. Fruit fruits coming in. Hey, Will, are you there? It's time for fact or fiction. Fact or fiction. Nobody looked. So how does this game work for us?

Welcome to fact or fiction. Oh, yeah, baby. That's your real accent. That's my game show host sound. Facter Fiction is a wonderful game where WT. Willie, the show's actual producer, comes on. He says to us, a fact or a fiction. Is it a true or a lie? Is it a true or is it a lie?

One who gets the most of them right at the end, wins all the points, wins all the marbles. In this case, tonight, I'm making up a rule. The winner gets to pick someone else at the circle who has to finish their drink on air. I love that. I love it. I will also say if you're someone who just likes picking up little pieces of trivia, you know. Oh, it's great. Yeah.

This is the best game for it. If you want to win some trivia nights, this is the podcast for you. Or just be more interesting when you go on Tinder gates. What do you got, Will? Kick it off. Let's go. All righty, gents. The first clue. And we will start with Peter.

Sounds good. As is tradition. He always wins, though. During the Revolutionary War, rebels launched a failed attack. Nope You gotta edit dude I can't read it Otherwise it's gone

Yeah Sorry Will Totally fucking I'm just like I'm a little tipsy now First time Okay Edit All right

Nope We go I was like What's he doing I thought that was his read He was like The first Question

You tried to just Play it off What kind of voice is this Sorry Will I might just Leave that in Go for it dude Will

bring it in Bring it in. Number one. Here we go. Here we go. Fact of fiction. Clue number one. During the Revolutionary War, rebels launched and failed an attack on a pond in Connecticut, only to find out what they thought were enemy drums were actually just thousands of bullfrogs fucking. Good. Wow.

So they orchestrated and put together an entire battle plan and attacked a pond because they thought that their opponents were like beating war drums. and then it was bullfrogs. So this... Wait, war drums? That's how... Okay. Yeah. Because the British would play drums as they marched.

Yeah, I understand. Got it. Okay. Okay. So I think that this is real because we're humans are fucking stupid as shit. And I can definitely see this happening. They're drunk at night. You know, you always watch the movies.

They're back at the barracks. Like, they're not fighting. They're hanging out. They're drinking. They hear that in the distance. Whoa, pull out the big map. They got to get rolling. This happened.

It's very elaborate, you're explaining. I know. I'm going to say, so look, the British wore red coats and played drums. Yep. That's it. They fought a traditional war. The Patriots, the Freemasons, right? They were using spy tactics.

Oh, they were lunatics. They were done tunnels. They were fighting. The natives. They weren't playing off the fucking old playbook. Correct. So I don't believe that the drums would have made them think that the Patriots were there. I think Will is a genius for coming up with this, but this is fiction.

All right, we go one for fact, one for fiction. I'm going on Reteap's side. I've heard a cacophony of bullfrogs. It is quite a sound. It does, it's very impressive. I'm going to go fact. Well, let me just say, Patrick, you're a genius for using unbelievable logic skills. You're correct.

It's false. All right, very nice. One for back. Will, that is a very good. Very, very smart. Sherlock Holmes level deduction. Okay. As we speak, I literally am working on a one-hour episode of a show about how the Patriots used these tactics and didn't.

Oh, interesting. So I had an unfair advantage there. Great. Very cool. You guys are colluding. You and Will are colluding. They're texting at night. 100.

Next. All right. What do you got next? Number two. A bat can eat up to a thousand insects per hour. Peter. A bat can indeed eat up to a thousand insects per hour. I've seen it with my own eyeballs.

I've counted. I unleashed a thousand. A bat went into my bedroom. I put exactly a thousand flies inside. It ate all of them in an hour. That's not true, but it's a fact. That's a fact. Yeah, three for fact.

What do you got? Oof, that's a fact. Will's mad at himself because he's not, whenever we get it, it's like, it's us against him. It hurts him. He's the house. Oh, yeah, I know. I lose this every week.

Yeah. Dealer busted. All right. Number three. A blue whale. As much as 10 elephants and is as long as two greyhound buses. Boy, this is fiction because it's way bigger than that, gentlemen. Yeah, this is fiction. It weighs a lot more than 10 elephants, I would say.

Look at the broologists here is having a thing about this. You and I are on the money. I'm trying to do Pat's math in my head right now. I'm going to go fact. You got to go fact, yeah. I think that sounds about right. That's your forte. It's the only way I win this game.

Correct. I just go with whatever you don't. Exactly. What do you got? That's fiction. Damn it. Boo ya! What's crazy?

Do you know the actual number of elephants? Is that it says it only weighs as much as three elephants? What? That seems even crazier. In the water, maybe. Okay. All right. Well, I only have one point.

You have two and you have two. I have three. You have three. You have two. Yeah. Okay. It's very close. Two more.

Two more. Let's go. Two more. It's interesting. Number four. Look at Pat. Just pushing. the action. Yeah, yeah. He wants to see one of us drink a beer. He's so, he's so proud of himself

for that first fucking grab. No sipping until the game's done. Why? Because I get to tell who. He's winning. He can dictate the rules. Number four. The leg bones of a bat are so thin that they cannot walk. Peter. This is, I'm going to go with, I've never seen a bat walking. I've only seen them flying. I've seen it regularly. I'm just going to assume anecdotally that this is a fact. This is a fact. This is a fiction. It's a fact.

It's a fact. Four. Wow, I'm really losing. One. I got a drink class. Yeah, I mean, you're getting drunk. What are you doing? Here we go.

You know you're on camera just the whole time. What are you just fiddling? Well, I'm trying to find a place for my lemley. You're like a kind of proud of this stuff, man. All right, number one, I can clinch it here. Let's go. And I know who I'm making drink. The final clue.

A house fly, a common housefly. hums in the key of G. As opposed to the exotic house fly. Correct. Or the commoner. I don't know my keys. This is a

fact. Fact. Double fact. What's the question again, well? A B, hums in the key of G. Housefly. Does what?

Hums in the key of G. Okay. Now why I asked him to do it again as I was trying to hear if there was a delay before he said G. Or if he changed the key. Just anything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. This is a fiction I think it hums in a different key Yeah I have no musical inclination whatsoever I don't literally don't know my keys So I'm just gonna go fiction Fact easy

It's a fiction That's right baby No you lost You lost You lost fucking idiots Five for five man Oh doesn't it feel good The studio's been very good to me man

Pat honestly it feels good doesn't it It feels fucking great I don't know if I've ever won a fact of fiction I'm supposed to be the animal guy I've been there two or three times That was great. I don't want to steal your thunder. Retep, because you must handle the technical stuff,

Forest, scull your drink, mate. I also came in last place. Yeah. This is completely full. I literally, I don't know. Look, hold it. That is a full seltzer. Yeah, baby.

What's the best angle? You have to drink it out of my boot. Nope. There we go. If I could zoom my wood, baby. No spit tics, please. No, spit tic. That couldn't have felt good, son.

That was a good shot. That couldn't have felt good. A sparkling seltzer? So cold. You know what, guys? He's got the brain freeze. Look at him. Now, it looks like he just snorted jungle powder.

I feel like that. He started his eyes. That was the christening of the studio. So cold. Now we belong here. There's so much carbonation. Hey, by the way, thanks for doing that. No, just the idea.

Because that was a pleasure. I like inflicting pain. I set myself up for failure when I suggest. His eyes are bloodshot. Now he's never going to talk it in the mic for the rest of the night. He can't even see. I don't agree with the microphone. Oh, you can fix that in the edit.

Yeah, you'll be fine. Don't worry about it. Yeah, editing's no problem. I love it. Good game. I wish I hadn't lost. I'm not a very good biologist. This we know.

What else is going on? We got more games. We got... Oh, yeah. I mean, look, I got... So I counted my DMs this week. 300. 70.

730. You just mixed it up. Flip the numbers. Yeah. It's 730 DM. Sammered. That were telling me that their favorite thing on the podcast is a little game I like to call. T3DFL.

Number one. Number two. Number three. Yeah. That's fucking lost. Oh, I love this one. T3 and DFL. This is a good one for all the brosters who love nostalgia.

And I think it's all of you. It's everybody. And the sisters too. Sisters. Here's the category. Top three and dead fucking last favorite Childhood movies. I'm going to go first.

Please. All right. I'm going to go quick. Number, and this is in no particular order. Okay. Okay. Number three, a Christmas story. I still watch this several times per year now.

Of course, you do. It's on 24-7 over the holidays. I usually get my first in about a week before Halloween. Dude, you're one of those? Do you start with the Christmas? Christmas music too. Retep, you were with me

when I moved into my new house on November 1st. I've grown up, mate. And we put up two Christmas trees. Since November 1st, you've grown up. Well,

the Christmas trees are one thing. Yeah. To watch them. The Christmas story is great. Ralphie. We all know it. It's just, it's great.

It gets funnier every time you watch it. Yeah, the dad, Darren McGavin. Fantastic. Number two, the Goonies. Oh, God. It's a good one.

It's just something. This was the original stranger things, man. It is. their bikes. A little scary, though, when you're a kid to watch it. A little scary for sure. The woman is very, the, the, the mom, the mom, she's terrifying. Like, she's scarier than sloth. Yeah, absolutely.

I'm with you. Because she's the guy behind the guy. Yeah, I mean, she's the one pulling the string. She'll have you whack. She's scary. She'll have you whack. Yeah. She'll have you whack. Number one favorite, I would say it's still one of my five favorite movies

just now watching as an adult. Okay. I'm going back to the genre. Genre? Home Alone. Really? Two Christmas movies. Hilarious. Oh, it's so good. Home Alone's brilliantly funny.

Little Nugget, and I've never Googled this, but I've picked it up and spot-checked it avidly. There's green and red in every frame of the movie that doesn't... I've heard this. I've heard this. Is it true? It's a real thing? I think I must have told it because I've never heard of it said it.

Maybe you told it to me. But dude, except for certain scenes with just the wet bandits in it. Otherwise, every frame. has green and red in it. You must have told this to me with one of your weird. It's a fucking perfect movie. McCauley Culkin's a brilliant actor. Yeah.

Dead fucking last. Worst childhood movie. Fival goes west. I have a very sharp nose and some would call it rodent like. Uh-oh. As soon as Fival Goes West came out, it just became a thing that I was Fival. That's funny because I was going to go with dead fucking last forest gum for obvious reasons.

Well, you're next. I'm not. I'm not. I actually love that movie. But yeah, fuck that. That's hilarious. I do look like a mouse. Well,

it's not nice to call a six-year-old. five or one year the math teacher. You really look like Abraham Lincoln from your profile I've been told that. I've been told that. My girlfriend pointed it out to me. She's on my shit list. Yeah, she's gone. All right, I'll go next. Top three. Coming in number three,

absolutely love this movie as a kid. Must have watched it 10,000 times. Little Rascals. Fantastic. That's a good one. It's a great alfalfa, the hair. The go-cart race is huge. It's a great movie. Also, that's a dream, right? As a dream. It's a dream.

Yeah, it's an absolute dream. Yeah, the whole little clubhouse and get out of here. So good. So good. Number two, not something, I mean, make sense for me. Not something everybody would pick. Loved it, though. Watched it a thousand times, especially when I was like 14 and first moved to the States.

Jungle to jungle. I've never seen it. Oh, my God. It's fantastic. What's the plot? It's Tim Allen, first of all. Okay. Which is always great.

He's New York City business guy. finds out he's got a kid living in like the Bolivian Amazon who's, you know, like this white kid though, he's got like a beautiful blonde wife. This is the 80s, you know, nothing's up. Right, nothing was accurate. And, you know, the kid's never stepped foot outside of the Amazon jungle.

And Tim Allen's got to bring his kid to the big jungle, the big city, you know? And it's just like he's running around with a tarantula and blow dark gunning people in the neck. And it's great. So you identified with that character from a safari park. Yeah, I mean. It's a ridiculous movie, but in the sense of like, I just love the comic relief of, you know, this kid out of place and, like, climbing the New York City skyscrapers.

It's great. It's super fun. Number one childhood movie, much like you, I watch it at least once a year, also a Christmas movie. You're not going to see it coming. Jingle all the way. Is that the one where the two dads are competing? It's the Arnold Schwarzenegger Christmas movie where he dresses up as Trubo Man. And, oh, my God.

it's so good. It's Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad. Oh my God. In one of his three movies? I've never even seen this. Dude, it's incredible. And Arnold Schwarzenegger is trying to play like a good dad and he's got to get Turbo Man the doll. And he's, the whole movie is just him and Sinbad

fighting for Turbo Man the doll. Two competing dads. Two competing dads. Yeah, at the end. Have you seen this? Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, of course. You're not weighing in. You love it? Well, I'm over here furiously trying to come up with mine. I understand that. Yeah. It's so good. Please watch jingle all the way. I will soon. Also,

anything with Arnold Schwarzenegger is incredible. DFL, I have a love-hate relationship of this movie because I actually love the movie, but it ruined a third of my childhood. The original Stephen King It. Oh, man. So here's my story behind that. Who let you watch that?

That's the thing. That's the thing. My mom thought it was a kid's movie. Swear to God. She's like, oh, a calm movie. It's a bunch of kids. It starts with like a bunch of kids happily playing in a small town. My mom let me watch that at like age I'm going to say nine. Yeah.

That's too young. It's way too young. Age 33 is too young, by the way. So I sat through it and it just fucked me up. I'm not kidding. Fucking nightmares for a couple years. Dude, that's nine?

Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. So yeah. Did fucking last is it. Please watch Jingle all the way. It's so good. What do you got? It's trouble, man.

It's hard when you guys are mentioning Christmas movies to get out of the train of thought of Christmas movies, but I forced myself. But Christmas, it's such a, Sit in side time and watch movies time. Yeah, absolutely. Dude, there's so many good Christmas.

If I ever make a movie, I will only release it between Thanksgiving and Christmas. For sure. They're the ones that I think about most on the topic of even just being posed the question. But I want to get off that. And I'm going to go with my, one of my top ones is just Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Really good. Good movie. It's so good.

So that's your number three? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. That's how the game works. So, God, I don't know why I put up with you guys. That's great. So, yeah, it's just a great one. There's so many of the blueberry, when she turns into a blueberry, the chocolate river,

the whole land they created. Also another dream, right? Yeah. It's a dream. You're a kid, you're watching that. You're like a chocolate factory? Yeah. Where I can suck air and fly.

Yep. Yeah. I loved it. Grandpa Joe. You guys is the most selfish human being in the world. Well, I know, but the whole thing is like, you know, he turns into, at the end when they're doing the... And I don't want to...

Spoilers if you haven't seen it, when they start drinking the thing. Like, it's actually, like, very well-written, the movie. It's not just... I'm just pointing out, Grandpa Joe is the most selfish human being in the planet. He spent 30 years in bed, gets a ticket to go to a chocolate factory,

and he's like, yeah, let's go. Stands up and walks away. Right. You know, this is the most selfish human being on Earth. He never lives to bed. I mean, that's... I think that's a hot take. Like, I don't think many people think

Grandpa Joe was a selfish asshole. Just saying. Anyway. All right. So, number two is Pete's dragon. Never seen it. I heard of it. Really?

Puff the Magic Dragon. Sounds more like Pete's the Dragon. I was going to say, sounds more like Pete the Magic Dragon. No, but Puff is the Dragon. Oh, and Pete's the Kid. Yeah, Pete's Dragon. They did a remake. It was terrible.

But the movie's great. It has a lot of that fantasy going on, which when you're a kid, and it was in the 80s, too. so that stuff back then was now we're like so fucking desensitized to it but any time a good movie came out that had like at for the time good CGI and like weird you know good stuff so that was a good one

but my top one gentleman it's not just one of the best kids movies it's one of the best movies ever made uh uncle buck with uncle buck's a great John Candy yeah yeah you could you should have seen the toast I couldn't even get it through the door

Like it's fucking McCulley Colkin, dude. It was like his after Uncle Buck was after Home Alone, right? I think it was. It's not sure. But dude, so good. I mean, and just a great movie. And then, and also it took place in Chicago, which is always a plus for me. Just like all John Hughes movies.

Yeah, all John Hughes movies. Oh, I didn't know that. Ferris Bueller's Breakfast Club, all that shit. Okay. DFL, dude, fuck off three ninjas. What? No. Terrible movie.

You're joking, right? It was so good. Just because you had a crush on JTT, bro. I'm not sure which one that was, but yes, I did. The one from Home Improvement, you know, the kid. Sure. Oh, yeah, Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Yeah, Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

I loved all of them. I thought the Three Ninjas was a great concept. Great concept or great movie? Both. Yeah? Well, well executed? Fantastic. I disagree with you.

It was a 10 out of 10. It was the 1980s version of Cobra Kai. Neverending Story. Where did that rank for you? you guys. Then we'll move on, but... I liked it. I only watched it like once or twice, though. I wasn't one of those kids that, like, had the VHS. Oh, I had the VHS. Yeah. I was young enough that it scared me, but I also liked it at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. It's got a, it's got such a, uh, unique vibe. It's an acid trip of a movie. It is. The whole thing, you're just like,

what is going on? Yeah. It really is. And that was, that's good. I like that. What was that movie where they, where there was like monsters under the bed? That's, Probably the name of the movie. Never heard of it. Not familiar. It was Fred Savage was in it. That's right. Yes.

Yeah. Also, uh, Gremlins was a great movie. Of course. Sorry. Oh, Little Monsters. Little Monsters was good.

Yeah. Gremlins was one of those movies where... Howie Mandel, too. So after, um, there was a thing that came out. Like when Game of Thrones was in the height of its absolute fucking, yeah,

like everyone was, four years ago. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't close to the last season. It was after four or five seasons. Yep. And just fever pitch with Game of Thrones.

I read this article about how therapists were reporting that they were seeing clients who were going through depression because it wasn't real. Because it wasn't real. And because they didn't live in that world. Really? Like, people were so obsessed with it that this wasn't just one therapist. Right. I read this article. I believe that.

People were literally going through depression that it wasn't real. That's insane. It's kind of scary because it wasn't, it didn't look like a pleasant. No, I know. No, that's not good. But they wanted to be in that world and like their life didn't feel important because they weren't in the Game of Thrones universe. And that's to some extent how I felt about Gremlins.

Really? I was so sad that I couldn't have a Magwai. Right, right. You want it more than anything. Literally more than anything. That's when, when you remember Furby came out like five years after that and I was like, I got to get one. I was too old for a Furby.

You're like 16. I was like, at least. But it looked like a. Magwai, so I got a Furby. I was too old for a Furby, but I was still getting one. Do you still have that? Too old for Halloween. Too old for trick or treating? Too old to have stuffed animals. Bro, don't you worry about this pattern,

right? What are you doing these days that you're too old for? Many, many things. Anyway, that's kind of fun. I like old movies. I like, I feel like 80s were the peak of movies. 80s and the early 90s, man. Yeah, it's the peak. They just create these worlds. Now it's, yeah, now it's all fucking marble. Yeah, now the worlds are just a bunch of superheroes are fighting each but they're all good guys. It's all about money.

I mean, and I know this is so cliche, but it's about making big blockbuster hits. Whereas like good story and like these, these captivating stories that pull you in. Like, dude, the breakfast club was just this great coming of age story. So clean. So simple. Yeah.

It's great. So good, man. Yeah, that's the pinnacle. We are old people. Do you know that? I know. I know. Talking about the good old days.

Yeah, that's what we're doing right now. Wastner's way in on what fucking movies. If you disagree with us, let us know in the comments. If I, last time we did top 3DFL concerts, somebody hit me up with a good recommend. I texted you about it. Of course, I don't remember it. That would be useful. But, and I was just like, man, this is fucking great.

And I just jammed out to that fucking music all day. Okay. Forrest, what time is it? I think I know what time it is. Do you know what time it is? The battle. The battle. Yes.

Cyril. I am so excited. Do we have one? I do. And I just made it up. Oh, lovely. All right. Look.

We're talking about things that no longer existed. Exist or never existed. We're all going to meet each other on just a plane. There's no mountains. There's no glaciers. Just an open field in the middle of Kansas. and we're going to fight till death. Compre dieuge.

Yeah, per usual. Along with you and your feeble, meager bodies, you will bring one extinct animal, just one of them. Okay. 20 humans from an ancient civilization that's no longer around. And just to spice it up, right? Because I've already made my stew and I'm going to sprinkle the salt. Smart.

One crypted. Oh, wow. That's a hot take. Peter, please don't make up your own cryptid. What? Herpes is not a cryptid, Peter. Herpes is definitely a cryptic. Nor is it extinct.

Right. Okay. I like this. You want to lead us? You want me to go. You go, then I'll go. Then Peter will do too. Okay, great.

I'm going to go in early. I'm going to take them right off the table. Credible race. We've all seen the movie. 300, Spartans. I'll take 20 Spartans. 20 Spartan warriors. 20 Spartan warriors.

They've all got great abs. They don't wear armor. Why would you? when you have abs like that. Gerard Butler's at the lead. That's got a good attitude. That's wise. Yeah, Spartans.

20 Spartans. I'm torn between two picks. Okay. And since Retepp can, okay, so yeah. All right, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go with my ancient civilization because there's 20 of them.

Yep. I feel like it's very important that I make a good pick here. Indeed, that's why I went first with the ancient civilization. I'm super torn between two. I'm going to go with 20 Viking warriors. Oof, that's a good match. They're big, man. The Norse, they're very big.

They're large people. If you ever go to Norway, you'll see everyone's like 6'5. Bro, I've been watching Vikings. I'm on season four right now. Yeah. Dude, the Warhammer. Oh, my God. Viking Warhammer's the most badass fucking weapon, dude.

And choosing to go to war with an axe or a hammer against a sword. Now, I've been watching Vikings. I know how they get there. It's a great show, by the way. Vikings. Very good. Retep, you're up for two. Okay.

I'm giggling. He's done something weird. I've been furiously Googling over here. He's Googling how to spell one key at a time. There is a extinct animal. They're called terror birds. Yep. The terror bird.

So they stand over nine feet tall, and these creatures were for many millions of years, the apex predators. Boy, you're not. This is well right. He's literally reading Wikipedia. He's reading flashcards. They are fucking brutal. They will kill you. Look at that.

It's going to eat you. Yeah, I know the terror bird. Yeah, nine foot tall. I know you do, but the brosters don't. They also know it. In fact, you're the only one. Very good. And then I will pick 20 Acadian warriors, 24th century through 22nd century warriors.

They, I don't know anything about this, by the way. Who are the Acadians? I also don't know about this. So in a list of the top 10 greatest ancient. warriors. They are ahead of Forrest's

pick of the Spartans. You know nothing about them. I just want to point out that Of course not. No,

I know. It sounded like you were reading a textbook, but I also just want to say like, it's the first

time in 66 episodes of the show. You had no question about how a snake draft works. Three bud heavies in and you just nailed it.

Yeah, that is weird. It is. It's very true. I mean, I get better when I drink. Yep. That's just the fact of the matter.

It's very good. Pat, you're up. Yeah, so, look, I was really tempted to go with the super low-hanging fruit for my extinct animal. Sure. And I was going to take a T-Rex. Okay? That's what I was going to take.

Well, you can still have it. It's a low-hanging fruit. But since in this scenario, my animal is completely trained to do what I want, I don't need to worry about its behavior. So I've now opened up the category of the herbivores. Yep. True. So I'm going to take the largest dinosaur that's ever lived, the Argentinosaurus.

The Argentinosaurus. 130 feet long, 220,000 pounds. For those of you who are not math-wizzes, that's 110 tons. Because it's perfectly trained, I just think its tail is going to immediately eradicate a T-Rex. So I've got the largest thing that's ever walked on land, perfectly trained to do my bidding to go along with my 20 Vikings. This is going to be rough. Okay. Very good. Argentinosaurus.

Indeed. I mean, I got 130 feet. Yeah, that's a lot of sores. Tail to head. It's a lot of soros. Very good. Very good. I'm up for two.

Yep. I'm confirming how a snake draft works. Okay. So I'm going to pick my extinct animal first. I'm going to pick this for selfish reasons. Okay. If there's one animal I could see, extinct creature, I'd probably pick this. Sarkosukas.

Uh-huh. It was a giant extinct crocodile. Oh, I've seen picks. Huge. I mean, crazy. You know, we're talking about like a 40-foot-long extinct crocodile. Crazy terrifying. I mean, we all know crocodiles are insanely badass.

Yeah, look at that compared to a normal crocodile. Holy shit. Yeah, it's crazy. Do we know how big this thing was? About 40 feet, I believe. A 40-foot crock. And the thing about crocodiles, like, if you've ever seen, like, a 12-foot crocodile and then a 15-foot crocodile, it's like two different world. Totally, dude.

The difference in girth and size and like, yeah, it's insane. So I got 20 Spartans. I got a Sarko-Succas. And to add to that, I need a cryptid. This is where you're going to fuck up because you're not a cryptid guy. I really don't know much about them. I'm going to go Mothman. I need something that flies.

It's very creepy. Coming in from up top. It's got human-like mental abilities. It's also a harbinger of doom. Yeah. caused a bridge bridge collapse in Point Pleasant, West Virginia. If it can do that,

it might be able to just, like, use its mind to kill my Vikings. Yeah. Yeah. Not a bad pick. Yeah, that's what I got. I was going the same route you were with cryptid.

Okay. Because I wanted something that's going to fly. Okay. Because I've already got 20 Vikings with Warhammers on a hundred 30-foot dinosaur. Exactly. What else?

There's no water in this scenario. You've got to have the aerial. We're in Kansas, man. It's coming from the air. I'm going to take the Jersey Devil. It is said to... Yeah, remind me about it. the Jersey Devil. I don't... It's located in the

Pine Barrens, which is this huge pine forest in New Jersey. Okay. The Jersey Devil is a flying, sort of cross between a giant bird and a dragon. Very scary. It has red eyes. Terrifying looking. Yeah, I just think that thing comes out. Especially that one down

in the bottom, the drawing. That one looks terrifying. I remember the drooling horsehead thing. Oh, yeah, that one, that picture of it. Yeah. Okay, very good. Because I think Peter's, whatever he go, he is going to be very scared when it sees my flying jersey devil. No way, man. My, uh, my, my, my cryptid is a chupacabra.

Very terrifying, fucking. It's the only one you knew off the top of your head. It's also the only one. No, it's not. The size of a coyote and quite mangy. No, look how big this bad boy is. Look at that one. Bottom left. Look at that. Look at that. It's about the size of, it could literally, it can stand by that it's a thylosine. I've

said it for years. Dude, it really is. It is. It's a fucking thylosine. A thylosine that can jump 700 feet in the air, just FYI. You guys didn't know that about it, did you? 700 feet? That's right. Who is not correct?

A 12-year-old on the internet? He made it up. It's a goat sucker that literally kills goats. The whole thing's legit to begin with. It's legit. All right. Know your lore. No your lore.

Fuck your lore. All right. This is the breakdown of the battle royale. Brosner's way in. Let us know who won. Let us know who you would pick for your team. Patrick has 20 Viking War. Warriors, very impressive, very scary.

An Argentino Soros, Soros, the largest extinct creature ever, a herd before, but a very well-trained one. Yeah, very well. And, shit, I mixed him up. Oh, Patrick, you had the Jersey Devil as you're crypted, a flying Jersey devil. Peter came in real strong with a terror bird.

Yep. It's a good pet. It's a very good pig. It's like an ostrich on meth. You know, like a trout on meth. It's like an ostrich on meth. He could have picked any extinct animal, only went for a nine foot tall bird

instead of a 130 foot long. That's true, yeah, maybe not as strong. Arcadian warriors, which none of us know anything about. I'm not sure if they're impressive. I don't think they are. They like playing video games. Yeah, they're really into video games. And a chubacabra, which is basically a dachshund with mange.

Yep. And some spikes on its back. A lot of fleas. Yeah. And my pick of 20 Spartan Warriors, a sarcoecus, which is a giant crocodile, and a moth man. Cool.

It's a good lineup. Yeah, I'll be interested to see who they think won between the two of us. Easy victory for me. Next. Oh, very good. Let's go have some brews. Maybe we'll get one of those. But what was that thing we went to last time?

Boochcraft. Yeah. Let's go get a bootchcraft, man. Let's go. We're in town. We're going to go get some bootchcraft. You're going to go to the wild timespodcast.com to find all of the links. If you want them in a nice compile list, just go to the wild timespodcast.

com forward slash info you got links to the youtube to the pod bean to the nobody wants the pod bean what they want is four extra podcasts a month boom go to the patreon that's how you get it patreon dot com eight a month four of them are always free four of them are for those of you who help out on the patreon because that's how we get a studio and some mics and shit like this it's a lot more fun look at it fuck i hope it's more fun to listen to also or watch on youtube we're much louder doing it we're much more scream more, man. Yeah, baby.

Yeah. Like Charlie from It's Always Sunny. All of us. Whoa! Love you guys. Thank you for tuning in. Good night. Bo-bo-bo-do.

Beed-de-da-pap-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-pap-de-d-d-peep. I was waiting, man. It's Monday. I've had a lot to drink. I mean, good for me. Good for everybody.