Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #70 - Weapon Wielding Polar Bears, Bubonic Plague Chipmunks, & Viral Blue Tit Chicks

Episode Date: August 9, 2021

The apocalypse has arrived, brosteners! And we're here documenting it for you every week 🤣 P.S. Just Retep & Pat for this one, but also dropped Bonus Ep #9 - Extinct or Alive Memorable Moments Pt. 3 on the Patreon if you're missing Forrest! https://www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-ep-9-eoa-3-54646532 Plus 8 more bonus episodes already up on Patreon! Love you! Patreon @ https://patreon.com/wildtimespod All the links @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com

Wild times. Yes. Wild times. Number 70, Retep. 70. The big 70. That's an accomplishment. 70 weeks, mate.

It's not like we're doing a podcast every day. Not to mention all the bonus pods that are on Patreon. Yeah, yeah. There's lots, but man, there's a lot going on. Let's address the elephant that's not in the room. Forrest Galante, uh, a little, yeah, well, I'm going to break some news. Hopefully I don't get some. Sorest has a new series that he's currently on the last shoot.

So we've been sort of recording in between his shoots because he's traveling all over the world as he does, which will be on the Discovery Channel at some point soon. I'll let Forrest announce the details. So he's away. He's on his last shoot. He's in South America. He will be back next week. But there's so much to talk about. Who needs Forrest when you've got Retepp?

Retep, as Forrest would say, the professor. What's up, pal? Is that my introduction? Yeah. Here I am. Pig trash himself. I'm really looking pig trashy these days because I trimmed my fucking beard dude. Now, we've talked before in the past about how when you have a beard for many years and you've aged about 10 years and have not shaved in that time, you cannot shave.

You look legitimately like a vegetable, like a potato. I do. Okay. Yeah, I see that there's a little sort of, there's a thing that comes down beneath the chin. Dude, and it looks like this. I just had the work done today to make it look like that. No, but honestly, you know, very, very pig trashy. My beard doesn't fill in when it's not long.

I thought it would be a good idea. Normally, like, I'll just trim down, like, the sides and the mustache, but I trim this fucking goatee and that's the problem. Let's grow up that. It doesn't fill in right here. How are you, my friend, my friend? I'm good. There's a lot going on right now. I mean, you've got the Delta variant spreading all around the country.

We were supposed to have a guest on today. And he's got the COVID. He's got it. That's great. Refused the vaccine. He's on his like fourth or fifth day of COVID. And he's like, oh, man, wish I got that vaccine. Wish I got it.

He said it's awful. Of course. How do you get it? His whole family, like extended family, they went on a trip. 15 people got it. Great. To Florida. People.

No, they're in Arizona. So he said that the nine people who were unvaccinated that got it are all very, very sick. And he said the six vaccinated people like got a cold and are already over it that tested positive. That's good news. That's great news. That made me feel good as someone who did take the vaccine. I was like, wow, that's actually good to hear. Because he's like an anti-vax kind of guy.

He's a real cowboy adventure guy. Sure. But we'll have him on at some point after Forrest gets back and we'll talk about his trials and tribulations with COVID. We got the Olympics going on. You've been watching it? Not really. I just watched the opening ceremony, which was real fucking weird in true Japanese game show style. I was uncomfortable the whole time watching it.

You know what was happening. What about you? I've been watching a little bit. I mean, I love the Olympics as sort of just background noise because you just, you know, you can look down, walk away. Who cares, whatever, a new event's on. So I do like the Olympics. I don't get particularly invested, but the ratings are down this year. Of course.

Ratings are down, but I have, me, the producer, I have a way to fix it. And I'm not, I'm not being funny. Like, they should hire me. Why am I laughing? I will double the ratings of the Olympics moving forward. with one simple fix. Okay. How are you going to do this?

So anyone who wants to can go online and submit an application, right? Okay. They add a lane or they add a contestant to every event that's just an average Joe. All right. So they're taking applications to actually be in the Olympics, just a regular dude. Every heat of every race, there's an average Joe in the ninth lane so that you have something to compare these incredible athletes to because when you see the eight best swimmers in the world, you're all, you don't know what you're comparing it to. I want to know how much faster they are than me at swimming or running

or throwing a javelin. So you put a ninth lane in, dude. It's great. It's genius. Imagine like the 800 meter butterfly stroke and they're cutting to the average show and he's clinging to the side, getting an oxygen tank or like, you know, you running the 400 meter dash against Usain Bolt. I'd be dead. I would die. You'd see a death on camera. Imagine the hurdles or the pole vault.

You just got some guy from, like, Wichita. Yeah, the pole vault. You just like, you have no technique, no skill at it whatsoever. You try and do it. What do they go up? They go up like, I'm picturing it. I'm picturing an average. You know what they should do?

They should incorporate animals like an orangutan doing the pole vault would be amazing. Someone would cry. That was cruelty, but I just think you put the average show in the time of his life. Oh, my God. Dude, the videos, the viral videos that would come from the average Joe's falling and breaking their pole vault stick. Dude, it would be fucking fantastic. And I don't even think it would cheapen the experience of the Olympians because what you'd really be illustrating is how much better they are than your average person at this thing. What if it was just all average Joe's?

I mean, I think that would increase the ratings quite a bit, too. Well, yeah, it would increase the amount of injuries. Right. But I could fix it. I got to say, man. I'd watch. Yeah, it would be fucking great. You got that going on.

You got Tahoe, which is six hours north of L.A., which is a wonderful place to go take a trip during the summer or winter. The whole city of Tahoe shut down right now because there's chipmunks are spreading the bubonic plague. there's a huge bubonic plague outbreak in Lake Tahoe. Oh, shit. I didn't even hear about this and I live near it. Brutal, dude. Yeah, dude.

So basically a whole bunch of chipmunks were dying and they, like, near this one beach in Lake Tahoe. Uh-huh. And they're trying to figure out what's going on and they tested them and they all had the bubonic plague. So they've been shutting down all the beaches because these adorable cute chipmunks are running around with the plague. Oh, my God. It's the apocalypse. man. I know. That's no good. You're worried about COVID. Next thing you know, you're like, fuck, you got to keep an eye on these chipmunks. Well, dude, I mean, where does this bubonic,

where did this come from? Like, how does the bubonic plague just pop up again? Is this in, so it's just circulating around me in nature at all times? If I knew that for my whole life, I'd never would have left the house ever. So I was on, I went on a shoot this past week. I was up in northeastern Utah. And I am someone who hates Los Angeles. You've heard me rant and rave about California. I don't like taxes. Yeah, it's not great. I don't like the local government. A lot of things bother me about living in California. Yeah. I was up in the way up near like Vernal, Utah. So it's like seven, eight thousand feet in the Uinta Mountains. Oh, nice. Gorgeous. I mean, you got elk, you got moose, bear, cougars, all sorts of

wildlife up there. Like older, older women who are going after? Plenty of those. But I saw some cougar tracks, which were pretty cool. So a bunch of coyote tracks. So they have a really interesting antelope up there.

That's this, it's right on the border of Wyoming and Utah. And it's this really alien-looking antelope. Its face looks like a camel. And they're really small. And they're indigenous to this, to the Uintam Mountains. Really cool.

They're all over the road. And it's monsoon season right now up there. And so basically during monsoon season in the summer, you get this. I don't know what it is exactly, but the clouds are red. More signs of the apocalypse, my friend. Yeah. But so you have red clouds everywhere and there are these big thick fucking clouds. And there's just thunder and lightning all day, 24 hours a day for like two weeks.

So you're kind of, where we were filming, we would see it. we would just be in, it felt like you're in the eye of a storm and you just have this beautiful lightning that's lighting up these red clouds. And then around 10 o'clock every single fucking night, man, just, you would just, it would come over you. And you would be in, we're in these thunder and lightning storms that were the scariest weather I've ever been involved in. Yeah. I was, I was in Arizona visiting the Grand Canyon for the first time.

and out of nowhere, one of these storms comes through. And I'm just like, what the fuck is this? And somebody's like, it's monsoon season. And I'm just like standing in this downpour because I'm very far from the vehicle. And I have nowhere to shelter myself. And I had no idea that monsoons were a thing in the United States. I brought it up to some friends earlier. They're like, that doesn't happen in the U.S.

That's like an Asian country. In India. Yeah, they get monsoons in Arizona and kind of through the southwest there in the mountainous regions. Really incredible. But what it brings me back to is like I'm always fantasizing about moving out of L.A., right? Yeah. I'm like, man, I could fucking buy a house for a quarter of the price and have a boat, be hiking every day. Then you go into town.

Yeah. And shit changes. Because what I realized on this trip is, places that have cheap houses yeah also have a lot not all but a lot of cheap people oh yeah for sure you know what I mean like it was

I just was like I couldn't live here man you know I don't look why illustrate give me an example what what turned you off specifically a lot of people just breathe through their mouth I'm not joking like you just look around a bar we went to a bar one night everyone's just kind of staring at you

yeah just Yeah. And look, I'm not anti-gun by any means. I'm not at all. In fact, I'm, you know, I don't really have a strong stance. But every single person has cargo shorts that go down to about mid-shin gone on the hip. Nice. You know, it's like, I don't need to be in a fucking, a wood-fired pizza restaurant.

Well, I have everyone packing heat next to me. I just, it's uncomfortable. If you're in, if you're in an environment where you're not, necessarily where you kind of have to fit in. You have to make the effort to fit in in that type of setting. And everybody has a gun and it's just kind of blankly staring at you. That's pretty fucking terrible and intimidating, you know. You got to find me and my girlfriend have been out or thinking about moving,

looking at different places and different neighborhoods and everything. There's so much to consider like the neighborhood. just you have to drive around the neighborhood and at night like to see what's going on there and there's just all this different shit yeah but well dude especially if you're ever going to buy a house yeah that's what yeah i almost think that it's better to rent a house first especially if you're moving to a new neighborhood because you you might realize you hate the neighborhood you might realize that oh shit the two times i toured the house i didn't really pay attention because we were talking and an airplane flies over every 30 minutes or every 10 minutes, you know,

right. You know, it could be a real, it could be a real debacle. I live in this neighborhood here, which with a lot of normal people, but my little running, running path, I go up about three blocks and there's this little pocket of like really rich people live there, right? And so I saw my buddy just randomly. I hadn't seen him in years. He lives in that neighborhood because his wife's a big actress and so she makes all the money and uh he's holding his baby he's got a like four month old baby and i'm just talking to him and he kind of takes a step backwards and he like basically almost trips and falls backwards over this traffic cone and he just goes oh fucking demi lavato and i go what the fuck they go what are you talking about he goes he goes this is demi

lavato's house right here and the whole fucking neighborhood can't stand her because she's constantly putting out these traffic cones for her entourage. Oh, God. That's a fucking annoying when anybody does that. It's crazy to me that even the fucking elites do that shit. Because when I was in Hague-Wish in Chicago, which is like gang territory now in East Chicago, and it was back then, it was bad. It wasn't good.

People fucking did that. And my mom would always be complaining like, what the fuck? Like traffic cones on the street? Unacceptable bullshit, you know? By the way, there's unlimited street parking. So it's like, she just doesn't want her entourage chef to walk very far. But it's just funny, like in this beautiful pocket with like $6, $7 million houses. He's like, Demi Lovato's ruining the whole block.

Yeah. That's like, what a disaster, man. By the way, quick, quick aside, we'll have to correct you. I think she's a they, them now. She came out as a they, them. So not a she anymore, but it's fucking confusing. we should not be canceled for making a silly mistake like that. Sorry that I misgendered her.

I did not do that. I can't wait for the controversy and the YouTube comments on this one. Dude, little wildlife news that I thought was kind of interesting. You know, bird watching is a big deal here in the U.S. You ever gone bird watching? I mean, I've taken binoculars with me whilst camping and tried to look at birds. Yeah. Yeah, you gave me that little bird whistle.

The Audubon Society bird whistle From Yosemite, the Redwoods. It's funny because I love the bird whistle you gave me so much. It's just a little red. Pull up a picture of it if you can, Retop. It's this little Audubon Society bird whistle. It's the official bird whistle of the Audubon Society. It's about $8.

Retep gave me one of these, and they're fun because it's all manual. So you can make it says like 10,000 different bird calls based on how fast you twist the little thing that's inside the wood bit, how much pressure you put on it. And so I ordered like 20 of these bird whistles. And I'll give them to people as like, just if I'm going to stay at someone's house or someone comes over, I'll give them the bird whistle. I have pretty much unanimously gotten the feedback from people.

Like, it's my favorite thing that I own. Yeah, it's so fun, man. I remember when I first got it, I was, I just had it you. Because it's like a, it's one of those things where you have to get a technique to do it correctly, you know? For sure. Yeah. It's,

it's kind of soothes the same itch as like a fidget spinner. Like, it's just something to play with. It'll make your cat go crazy. Yep. Yeah, there it is. There it is. I highly recommend.

Let's put a link in the YouTube, in the YouTube to purchase this product. We will make no money off it, but it is just, it's the best $8 you'll ever spend this thing. It's also, this tip is the best value that we've ever dropped on the podcast. Guaranteed.

I agree. But so this bird watcher, this guy John Chadwick, right? Okay. Lives in the UK. He's just an avid bird watcher. And he set up some little bird boxes and a family of blue tits. It's a small little cute blue bird. Okay.

And inhabited this bird box that he set up, built a nest. The mama lays some chicks, right? She lays some eggs. We're just going to go right past the fact that the bird's names are blue tits. We're zooming past it. So it's a monogamous bird, so there's a mom and dad. All right. They place some eggs, three chicks.

So what he does is he puts a little camera in there and just started live streaming his blue tits, right? Yeah. Let me tell you something. 41 million subscribers to his live stream. Oh, my God. Of people just watching these blue tits. feeds their chicks, just literally just zoning out, watching some bird action. 41 million people.

It's crazy. And I mean, I believe it, man. We've talked about the raccoon guy before on the podcast. That guy got like 10 million views on his YouTube video. He just feeds raccoons. And I've watched it for like an hour. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just like, this is amazing.

It's something about humans humbly interacting with nature. And this is just like, I mean, it's a blue tip, man. How are you going to not watch? But also, like, I think there's just sort of a need for people to relax, right? Yeah. I think that there's a certain percentage of people who choose to relax by getting hammered or drinking or smoking weed. And then there's another large portion of people, larger, I would say, who need other ways to relax. This is one of those ways.

And the thing about this is that even the people who are using the alcohol and weed to relax are also watching this. So he's covering the whole gamut, this poop tick guy. He's getting everybody. Everybody's watching this. Yeah, I mean, dude, I'm happy for the guy. I hope he actually finds a way to make some money off of it. Yeah, that's fantastic. 43 million subs, 41 million.

Good stuff. Another big piece of news that came out. So I spent three summers. hanging out in Greenland, not the whole summer, but various, you know, chunks of it. Inuit hunters there for centuries have said that they have seen polar bears using rocks,

picking up rocks, and bludgeoning walruses over the head with them. Wow. This was considered to be BS. Right. This was considered to be, which scientists often do, primitive locals saying things that aren't true. Sure. Well, it's been documented for the first time by scientists. Yep.

That polar bears will use tools, including rocks and chunks of ice, to bludgeon walruses over the head with them, you know, to kill them and then eat and then eat them at that point. rather than expending the energy of using teeth and claws, they will actually polar bears use tools. Yeah, dude. I mean, look at this picture of this. It looks to be one in a zoo, a fucking polar bear, using a very large donut to bounce a dye in the air. Thus playing a game.

I don't know what he's actually doing, but he's using tools very clearly. Think about how strong their arms have to be. So this was a study that's done by a guy named Ian Rankin, who works for an organization called Climate Change Canada that is a scientific outlet here. But think about how strong their front arms must be. I mean, you know, this is a thousand pound animal close to it for a big male

that has to be carried around by these arms, right? So think about the way, like, if you, you know, have ever just played with a domestic cat or even dogs will use their paws and kind of grab your arm or whatever. It makes sense that the polar bears would be able to manipulate the tools, but the fact that they have the sort of the brain power to do it and figure out a use for the tools is pretty amazing. Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's always that connection from one step to another with animals. We take it for granted as humans. And if you're not like in the animal research world, it seems trivial. But, you know, it's crazy to think that they make that connection. I want to eat food. I want to conserve energy. So I'll fucking find a tool that it'll be easier if I bludgeon it to death and eat it. I assume that's how humans evolved, basically.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, well, yeah, it's pretty, pretty fucking wild because polar bears like didn't need another thing to be more badass. Right. Yeah, now in the battle rails, not only are they the fucking most vicious, strongest, animal. They're picking up and using weapons and tools, guns, AK-47's Uzi's. People are fucked.

They're building bombs. Yeah. What's been on your mind? What are you been thinking about? A lot of what I think about is the fans and the patrons and the things that they message me with.

I don't have any to talk about right now, but that would have been a great segue. Yeah. That was, that's called podcast hosting at its worst, what you just did right there. That was, that was God awful. Yeah, I mean, I'm God awful in general. Like I said, though, you know, looking for a house. I sent somebody Retepe's dating tips yesterday because she was, she wanted to know if she should contact this one guy that she's been talking to on a dating app.

She felt like she was getting slow ghosted. And I just sent her my dating tip. It was, you know. What did you say? What was, I mean, what's your recommendation if someone's getting. slow ghost. Well, my tip is that you can't get too invested with somebody when you're on dating apps or like beginning dating. You have to, it doesn't even matter. You can always just leave or find somebody else or cut and run, as I say, until you're like living with the person,

essentially. Any time before that, you shouldn't let it affect you so much. And she was kind of editing it affect her quite a bit. And I was like, but she ended up not taking the advice and texting the guy and asking if she was being slow ghosted. What did he say? He said no, that he's just busy, which I knew

was the case, especially knowing the whole scenario. He's traveling, all this stuff. But people fucking get themselves all in a tizzy and worked up. But here's the advice that you can't give to someone who's got a romantic situation that's causing them

stress. Oh, just don't worry about it. Feel less. Right. You know, loneliness and the desire to ultimately to reproduce, which drives, I think, our desire to be loved and have company and all this stuff is pretty goddamn powerful, right? Yeah. That's why everyone you've ever interacted with at one point or another is obsessively thinking about someone they're courting.

Yeah. It's the first thing you think about in the morning. It's the last thing you think about before you go to bed. Well, and especially like the older you get because you're like, fuck, I'm going to end up lonely. I'm not going to have anybody. I'm just going to be fucking depressed. I never thought about any of that shit until I was like 30, well, 36, 37 at all.

Same. And it's not like, yeah. It's not like I'm obsessed with it, but it's definitely like, damn, dude, it'd be pretty fucking brutal to just be alone reading conspiracy theories by myself and a shitty, you know, dim apartment. Doesn't know how big it is, how much money I have. It wouldn't matter. Yep.

Inevitably, you become the old guy at the bar where it's like, we like him. He's fun. He buys us drinks. But he's the old guy at the bar. Like, we don't want to invite him back for after hours. Well, I mean, or, you know, you have like a thousand. See, I think you can get away with it if you are, if you're super into nature. And your thing is legitimately that you can.

go into the wild for two weeks by yourself and camp and do whatever and survive. Like, but, but at a certain point, the other thing that terrifies me about getting old, and this one has terrified me for a long time, is that, uh, if you start, like, losing mobility and your physical ability to do things, well, no, I'm like, you know what I'm saying? As you get older and it's like, it's, it's happening now. Like, no age. It's happening. And now I'm just like, it's happening.

So now I have to work really hard. Like I have to exercise every fucking day to not weigh 270 pounds. Like I have to... I'll tell you. Dude, there was a moment we had like a... So we flew into Salt Lake. It was me and two other guys to go do the shoot. Flew into Salt Lake.

It's a three-hour drive to where we're going. Right. We just drove straight through no stops. You know, pull in. I'm driving. Turn off the ignition. The door is sort of all open at the same. same time and we all get out of the car and all three of us at the same time go, ah, ha. Like,

we all made like the old guy noise of standing up after sitting for three hours. And we just started dying laughing. It's like, holy shit, we're all old. Like, we all just made the old, everyone's stretching their back and their knees out. 100%. I did it yesterday. We were driving around. I was like, I got to, once we park, let's get out. I got to get out of the car. But then I realized I was sitting on my crumpled up. mask in my back pocket. So just a ball, a ball fucking jutting my ass upward. I was all out of alignment for two hours.

Yeah, it's like George Costanza when he had the huge wallet to his back off. You can't sit on that. Let me ask you this, Peter. A lot of people have fear when they swim in the ocean, right? It's in the back of your mind. Maybe not fear, but it could be a shark. Could be something else. Could be an octopus.

I don't know. There's stuff down there. Yeah. When you swim in a lake, you usually don't. that kind of goes away. At least for me, that idea that something's going to come up and bite me goes away. Right. Well, have you ever been to a place called Nags Head, North Carolina? Around there, actually, when I was younger.

Okay, so yeah, it's a popular area. A lot of people go fishing. They go, you know, swimming. It's a big, big lake community, right? Yeah. What if I told you that maybe you should be worried if you're swimming in that lake? I'd be worried. Here's why. And you're going to have to pull up one more picture, Peter. Guy was fishing.

He's just referred to as Mr. Martin. They didn't say his first name. But he's fishing. He's embarrassed. And he gets something big. And it's fighting the hell out of him, right? It's fighting his line. He said it was a real hardcore fight.

Like he thinks he's got a fucking marlin or something on there. Pulls up fish. I'd say it's a good maybe 20 inch long fish Huge mouth Full completely full So it's not just around the outside Its whole mouth As you'll see down the center are lined

With human teeth No no Brutal dude brutal I've already been looking at this So for those who are on Listening to audio only You should come to the YouTube and check this out It is legitimately a fish

with rows and rows and rows of what look exactly like human front teeth. Yeah, I was watching, there's this show I watched. It's called Love After Lockup. And the guy on the show yesterday, he had teeth like this. It's about inmates who are dating people outside and then they get out. And he looks just like this, just like this. This looks like, you picture someone who smokes cigarettes and drinks like four coffees. day for 40 years. They're very yellow. They're very full of tartar and plaque. So it was identified as a

sheep's head fish. It is probably the weirdest looking mouth of any animal I've ever seen. I mean, if that thing bit into you, man, that has taken a chunk out. I'd also think that this was like a joke my older brother was playing on me where he came up underneath the water and like nibbled on my toe. Did your older brother do that to you a lot? Yeah, especially in our 30s. It's been a recurring thing. No, but the teeth, I mean, this is obviously an anomaly. This doesn't happen.

These things have... This is what sheep's head teeth look like. Oh, my God. They have these very human-looking teeth. It's a fish that maxes out at 21 pounds is the world record for sheep's head catch. They are fucking freaking. I had never heard of this animal before. Oh, my goodness.

But it's a freshwater fish that exists throughout North America. Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, dude, this is a very, the teeth, I wonder why they evolved that way. Because it's like, I mean, what are they chewing in there? Like chewing up fucking mud, clay, rocks? Yeah, it's, it looks like, yeah, rocks. It looks like its diet must be made mostly of like asparagus.

Like, it's. Those teeth are not good for like necessarily tearing it flesh. And it's got hundreds of them. I know. It's got a lot of fucking teeth. A lot of tic-tecs in there, boy. Oh my God. Does it make you want to swim less, would you say?

It makes me never want to eat fish again in my life ever. I mean, what if I get a tooth in there? For Christ's sake. You might. I've been making a lot of fish actually. I've started cooking fish. Well, fish is one of those things where like, you know, it's very delicate. it. So you got to make sure you don't overcook it.

It's easy to kind of screw it up. But I've been stepping on my fish game, man. A lot of halibut. A lot of cod. I love cod. Yeah, cod is great. Classic. It's what's in all beer batter. Or like when you get fish and chips or fish tacos, it's always cod, yeah?

Well, yeah, for a long time. Like when we were kids, even like just cheap-ass fish sticks, we're always made of cod because they're big fish. They swim in big schools. They're easy to catch lots of them. And delicious. Yeah. We overfish the shit out of them.

So then for a long time, Cod was like you didn't see Cod anywhere. Oh, okay. Yeah. So it's not a super expensive fish now, but it's not cheap like it used to be because we permanently damage the worldwide population of Cod. That's great. Of course we do. Yeah. We've done that to a lot of stuff.

Haddock is similar. You know, Haddock used to be a real cheap fish. Yeah. Which is probably my favorite fish. Haddock is fantastic. You just don't find it on the West Coast ever. Yeah, I've never even, I don't think I've ever had. Had it.

You've never had aught? I've never had oct. Yeah, but I mean, if we could do that thing for us said on the last episode or in one of the episodes, if we could just give it seven years and leave the fucking oceans alone, be back. 99% of the ecosystem would be back, baby. Back. So what are the odds? What are the odds of every country in the world agreeing to that?

Zero. Zero percent. Zero percent. Yeah, I mean, because every country, it's just a, a mass. macro version of what human, when you do in an interaction with other people. It's like a pissing contest. It's like, well, if Japan's going to do it, we're going to fucking do it. And if China's going to do it.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. So zero. Zero percent, unfortunately, but we should still start a go fund me. Okay. Let's do that. Let's start to go fund me to get everyone to agree. We would only need to come up with probably a few trillion dollars.

Yeah. Yeah. It'd be fine. So I, what I was filming in Utah, if you'll look up the Uinta Basin, U-I-N-T-A-H. It is like probably the biggest hotbed of UAP activity in the U-S. Otherwise known as UFOs, right?

Okay. Yeah. So we're there making a TV show. I went there during season one and we saw lots of shit. So we have these Gen 3 night vision goggles and when you look up at the sky, it's awesome. I mean, because first of all, you don't realize just over your head. at any time how many satellites are just cruising, right? But it lights everything up.

So you just see, fuck. I mean, there's just satellites everywhere. So we're out having some fun. We were getting close to wrap. It was the one night we had where we didn't get a thunderstorm at night. And we're there, man. Just stars everywhere. I mean, it literally looks like you're in a planetarium.

It's just so clear. There's no light pollution. Nice. Fucking, dude, just shooting stars. Shooting star here. Shooting star there. We're all looking, taking turns. because we only have three pairs of these goggles.

People are looking at stuff. This shooting star or one of the people there said they thought it must have been a piece of space junk entering the atmosphere. Yeah. It is huge. Like I'm saying in the sky, it's like the size of a quarter. It looked like an asteroid. Wow. And it's got this big, it is bright green like slimer from Ghostbusters green.

And it has this long fucking tail, dude. And it's just, of course, doesn't make a sound, but just. just rips across the sky. Huge long thick tail. It is massive. People were, dude, the reaction,

there was like 15 people that all saw it at the same time. Everyone was just like, you could feel the sense of exhilaration of like, first of all, I think everyone for a minute was scared because it was just so big. It really felt like something was about to like hit the earth.

Right. But like an hour later when we got back to the hotel and everyone just cracked a beer open, like people were just like, there was just like a buzzing energy going through everyone that had seen it. I think just because it was like this weird like holy shit, like we are connected to this giant unfathomable space thing. Yeah.

Yeah. So I mean, so you guys don't know what it was? Was it it wasn't, I mean, it was a UFO. Legit? No, no. No, no. That was some sort of. It was something burning up in the atmosphere, I think.

Or I think the tail on some of these things is, is like water that's going off that's being pushed out by like solar winds. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I don't, I am not an expert on shooting stars. I mean, this was just like, I think just the coolest shooting star I'd ever seen. And big. Yeah. Yeah.

One of the, one of the crew members had previously worked for NASA and she's like a consultant on the show and works at SpaceX now. And she was saying she thought it was possibly space junk burning up in the atmosphere and that's why it had that green color. Sure, sure. But as far as UAPs and stuff, yeah. Yeah, yeah, we saw some. It sounded like you wanted, you did.

You saw some. Oh, yeah. Pyramid-shaped objects. We got some great footage, man. I mean, like the Jeremy Corbell, the Jeremy Corbell footage of the pyramids-shaped objects off San Diego. Uh-huh. Got a couple of those. I mean, it's crazy, dude.

It's crazy. And I'm not one of the people. I'm not even like you. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, you are, but, but you, but this is like, but this is evidence. I mean, there's a difference between being one of the people who's just looking at videos and making, you know, judgments based on that. But when you actually are out there and see shit for yourself, I've never seen anything for myself.

I've only just watched videos and researched. So, but you saw, you saw actual triangular fucking UAPs. 100% and got footage of it, which is really cool. So where can I see this footage? Well, it'll be on season two of this TV show, which I will announce when it's going to come out. But let me tell you what it looked like. So this was that same night, and this was a little bit before, it was probably half hour before the shooting star that I just described. But we see this object very, very bright and not in space.

You know, what I try to do a show, it's not typically a bunch of people who are going to say any light in the sky is a UAP, right? It's actual scientists and people who are trying to legitimately look into stuff. So there's, you know, there's satellites. There's all sorts of stuff going on. This to the naked eye, don't need the goggles for it, is a very large, unbelievably bright object that's coming across the sky. And it's high up, but it didn't appear to be in space. It was lower than that. Clearly not a plane.

Completely, completely silent. not a plane, not a chopper, or not someone else's drone or anything like that, right? Right. Huge bright light. People are looking at it with the goggles and they're like, holy shit, you can see the shape. Holy shit, it's a triangle.

So I get my chance to do it. And it wasn't exactly a triangle. It was kind of like, it was kind of like that. It almost looked like maybe like if you saw, seen like a Native American like spear point or arrowhead. Okay, yeah, yeah. It had that shape to it, had a huge,

spoke of light coming off of it. And it's cruising. And I have the goggles at this point where everyone who doesn't have the goggles, the night vision goggles, goes, holy shit, it just disappeared. I still had it. Nothing had changed about what I could see with the night vision. But they couldn't see it anymore. Right.

Wow. Yeah. And it's cruising and it's cruising. And then all of a sudden, just gone. Just accelerated. It appeared to accelerate and then just gone. Disappeared. And so.

Yeah, and so I was asking the SpaceX girl, and she was like, it could have something to do with like the curvature of the earth, why it appeared to disappear like that. But she didn't quite have an answer, but we got it on video. And it's undeniably triangle or pyramid shaped. That's crazy. Fucking cool. The fact that you could that it, so it basically turned its lights off. So everybody else couldn't see it at that point. And then you could still track it.

And then it was like, boom, out of there. I mean, that is fucking weird. Like, I mean, as far as the curvature of the, of the earth or something like that, sure maybe, but it seems like more intelligent than that to turn off the lights and then zoom out of there, you know? Like, yeah, and just the size of it, the shape of it, the speed it was going, and the fact that it made absolutely, absolutely no sound whatsoever. Yeah. And it appeared to be in the earth.

atmosphere and not in space. Dude, that's fucking crazy. I can't believe you haven't told me about this. You knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep. That's why you didn't tell me. Yeah, man, no, it's wild. I would love to even just have you come out there at some point. I'm going to go back out to the set in a bit.

Yeah, I'm down. But, I mean, it's wildly active. It's unbelievable. Yeah. You just look up at the sky out there. NASA, so NASA had a base there. that was they put basically out in the middle of nowhere. It was called the Vernal Gravity Project NASA or something, NASA Vernal Gravity Project.

And it was very low-key. They basically, you know, built a base in the middle of nowhere and people didn't know what it was because it was completely fenced in. It was small, but it's kind of like area 51 where access was blocked off. And then people filed some Freedom of Information Act requests and stuff like that. and they said they were studying a gravity anomaly. But then another guy, like 10 years later, because this was, I think, in the 70s and 80s, filed another FOIA request

and got a response that they were tracking satellites. So two different FOIA requests got two different answers separated by 10 years about what NASA was doing in this area that you went to Basin. Yeah, of course. I mean, you know, they may very well be doing, both of those things, but what else are they doing? That's the real question.

You know? Right. Dude, that's fucking wild. So this is in Utah. This place is in Utah right by where you were at. Yeah. Vernal is the closest town. So we would, that's where we would stay. And then we'd drive about 55 minutes

up into the mountains. Yeah. To this particular area that we're looking at stuff. And, you know, totally secluded. No houses within miles and miles and miles. There's all dirt road to get to where we're going and I got a flat tire and a thunderstorm coming back down the

mountain that was nice trying to put a fucking donut on your torrents yeah I hated it man because the thunder light and super loud oh no we're afraid you were going to be abducted is the question no fuck now wait so isn't this

isn't this where skin walker ranches too yes so so this is I this was not for the skin walker they have a TV show that's on history channel I was not filming there. Skinwalker is about 10 miles down from where we were filming. But that's where

Bob Bigelow was doing the bass studies and that stuff. So yeah, so they were on Skin Walker, which is, yeah, 10 miles down the road from where we were. I'll tell you another thing, there's a lot of Bureau of Land Management, BLM land around there that we had to pass

through, because what we would do is we'd drive about 50 minutes, then we would get into Polaris vehicles and then cruise up into the more rugged terrain. What's a Polaris vehicle? Like a four-wheeler? A four-wheeler, but one that can sit two people. Gotcha.

So it's like a utility vehicle. That thing that forest flipped over in the Shark Week special. Yeah, well, that was a dune buggy. But yeah, so we're in one that's made for rocky mountainous terrain. Okay. And that was fun as shit, because then we'd drive about 45 minutes in the UTV and we'd just race and stuff. But we passed through some BLM land, which ranchers rent out. Mm-hmm.

Right? So we were passing through lots of cows and stuff, and there's a couple, I don't know if they're called herds or whatever, but some ranchers cattle that we would drive through in this one pasture. One day we drive up. They're all dead. What? Are you fucking serious? Nope. Oh, yeah, yeah, dead serious.

Yeah, they're all dead. All the cattle are dead. Dude. Like, how many? Well, you know, look, I tell stories for a living, so I say they're all dead. It's probably like 12 dead ones And then the rest of the herd But here's a cool thing man

The rest of the herd hung out real close to the dead ones for a day Before they kind of moved on Morning men Fucking just dead 12 dead cattle let's say Between 10 and 12 That's fucking weird Just spooky shit man

That would definitely What the fuck happened there I mean so this whole area Is like a hotbed of paranormal activity The Skinwalker shit Is legitimately one of the things that I got scared reading about on Reddit. There's like a subreddit.

And they, you know, they, the native people who live there, they, they won't, they won't even, you've used, Native Americans, yeah. Yeah. So they won't even talk about, they won't say the word, like Skinwalker. They won't talk about them because the, the, the theory is that, or the old, whatever it's called, is that they will then attach to you, a Skinwalker will attach to you, And a skin walker is essentially this negative dark spirit that can shape-shift. They think that it's run by like bad, evil shaman kind of people, witch doctors,

and that they can turn into these kind of animals. And there's all of these accounts from all of these people. And the shit's fascinating. But that they'll come and they'll harass you and they'll like fuck with your animals outside, you know, your house and stuff. if you talk about them or you acknowledge their presence. But dude, the fact that all this shit happens in this one area, like sky, you know, to earth, to mystical shit, all this one very small area is pretty, pretty fascinating, man. Yeah, yeah, the Skinwalker thing. So, yeah, it started as a Navajo legend.

And it was, yeah, medicine man who went bad, right? And seen as a harbinger of doom and they can shape. shift and often appear as like a coyote or a wolf or something like that. One of the things that is reported, you know, around Skinwalker Ranch is cattle mutilations, right? Yeah. Which I now understand. So we saw these dead cattle and a few of the ones I was like, as a producer, I was like, well,

we should get some shots of it. Like it's a little weird. Let's film get some B-roll. Right. The ones that we were filming all had sort of their guts were pouring out of their, where their anus used to be. Oh, really? Wow.

And that's very typical, like, caned behavior. You know, actually, when Forrest and I were doing an extinct or alive shoot, it didn't end up making it into the show, but we came across a moose calf in Newfoundland that was still alive that had been attacked by coyotes. Yeah. And, or maybe a Newfoundland wolf, who knows, if it's still around. but it had been its guts were pouring

out of its asshole because it's very typical of how what they'll eat first super nutrient dense it's a good way to get to the nutrient dense guts first and this poor little bastard was still alive after having been had its butt chewed on

by a bunch of coyotes but so these cows these cows were showing the same signs yeah and most of them had been eaten through their ass And so, you know, imagine if you're a rancher who doesn't really understand how coyotes feed. Sure.

You come across a bunch of dead cows and it looks like they've been mutilated. Well, it must be a skin walker. Yeah, definitely. We saw the cows. I don't believe in anything related to skin walkers because I've never seen it and it's not grounded in science. Right. But, you know, we certainly did see what you might call mutilated cattle. They probably died.

So I asked another guy who used to ranch in Texas that was there. He said it, he believed it was nitrate poisoning. Okay. So what happens is if you have a big group of cows, cattle, right, and they're used to eating a certain type of grass that's very low in nitrates. Yeah. And then they move on to another area that has groundwater that feeds the grass and brings a lot of metals from the grass up in. into, or sorry, from the ground up into the grass. Right, right.

If they haven't eaten a lot of nitrates and then they suddenly come into this new area and it's full of all this delicious grass and they eat it. And it's full of nitrates that have caused all their organs to bloat from the inside and they can die very quickly. Okay. So I'm not trying to debunk Skin Walkers. No, no, no. I mean, it's definitely, I mean, you know, some combination of this, of this. It's usually the simplest, most logical explanation for.

of these things. But again, just this hotbed of fucking weird spooky mystical shit going on. And the fact that the sightings of the aliens, or not the aliens, but the UAPs, yeah. The UOPs, mate. Yeah.

Be a buddy. Look, I would highly recommend if you're ever driving through or on a road trip or anything, man. Stop somewhere in there you went to mountains. Just it's free fucking territory, man. You can just... No way. Dude, stop somewhere there. And just go up and put a little mat out and put a sleeping bag out and just stare up at the sky and just see what happens.

It's phenomenal. God, that's like anxiety inducing to me. If I was with a group of people, sure, but not by myself. Fuck, no. No, I'm assuming you're with at least two other stout men. Yeah, with guns. Yeah, with weapons, of course. Yeah, exactly.

Well, Retep, I want to, even though force isn't here, I mean, look, I have thousands, I think about 1,800 DMs from people that are just saying top three in DFL is one of their favorite segments. I think we should play it right now. Fuck, yeah. I don't have the jingle because we're on Riverside again, but let me play this. Because we love this song. Yeah. Top three in DFL, baby.

All right. So this week's top three in DFL. Let's stick with the theme of the Olympics. Top three. Summer Olympic sports and dead fucking last. I'll go first because I can see what I'm thinking. All right.

Number three for me, you're not going to expect this. Badminton. Badminton. Really? Dude, here's why. They are so good because I play badminton, right?

I know what it's like to play badminton. because I had used to play in gym class in Oswego. Yeah, yeah, me too. It's a relatively easy sport. The shuttlecock kind of hangs up there and gives you some time. These guys are smashing it. They're doing fucking cartwheels. It is unbelievable how good they are, especially a lot of the Asian countries.

They're phenomenal. They're like gymnasts playing tennis at the same time. Well, you've sold me because I've never watched it, and I was just envisioning like, they are smashing every fucking hit. It's a good watch. That's number three. Number two, water polo. Here's why.

I grew up in upstate New York. We don't play water polo. That's not a school sport. In Southern California, water polo is a sport. You can play on the varsity water polo team, right? And I know a lot of people who played water polo in high school. Yeah. Here's a thing that you don't realize is going on. But now since I've talked to water polo players, when I watch the Olympics, I watch for it.

Yeah. They grow their toenails out to get them real sharp and file them into sharp points. And it's a known thing that water polo players dig. They scratch each other under the water with their nails and stab each other with their sharp-ass fucking emu claws. Yeah. I mean, I like it now. You've sold me on that too. Although, I mean, I know. You'll see. I was going to say, I've watched it before. I've never noticed. But now I'll definitely be picking up on it. Dude, they're under the water fucking stabbing each other. It's when you watch for it, you can kind of see what's going on or at least imagine it. But it is a fact. Look it up. Water polo players file their toenails into knives. Just their toenails, not their fingernails. It's probably legal in the sport. Yeah, because you can do it below the water and the refs can't see it. Dude, it's just like football where you're taught, you're basically coached to, you know, hold constantly.

Like trying to sneak your holds in under the pads, everything. Pinch. That's another thing. I don't think if people who don't put, didn't play American football realize people pinch you in the pile. So if you, you know, I was a kick returner. And so very typically, I would. end up at the bottom of six or eight people. And people literally grab and pinch you really hard.

And just covered in bruises from pinches. What a vicious sport. I know. All right. Not as vicious as water pole. Number one, it's my favorite Olympic sport because you get to see people fly through the air. It's something you could never do. Absolutely the pole vault.

It is a phenomenal. Phenomenal. So here's a little quick story about the pole. there was one summer so or sorry it was a spring track and field is a spring sport in upstate New York I played baseball my freshman year we had a freshman team sophomore year I wasn't good enough to make the team right so I was like shit like I want to play a spring sport pretty much anyone could play track and field right I wasn't particularly fast and didn't have any experience I wasn't going to do the hurdles I tried to do a long jump and like dude my triple jump was shorter than

a couple people's long jump. So I'm like, fuck it, I'll pole vault. There was one pole vulture on the team. And they were like, all right, show Patrick how to do the pole vault. And then you can just be a pole vulture. Right. So he goes, he goes to pole vault. He plants his thing.

Okay. He goes up, but he was using the wrong pole for how high he was going to try to do because there's different strengths of pole. Dude. Plants it. goes up, I'm not bullshitting you about 12 feet in the air. The pole snaps and he just falls

straight onto his back. Oh my God, dude. If it's sand? Oh, no, it's a mat. There's a mat on the other side. He didn't make it over the other side. So he goes up like 12 feet, the pole snaps in half. He falls straight down

onto his back. I thought he was dead. Just had the wind terribly knocked out of him and I think might have broken a rib. And I was like, Yeah, I'm just not going to do track and field. So that's my number three. My dead fucking last. What do you got, sir?

It's obvious. It was on the other day. I can't even believe it's a sport. Dressage. What the fuck is dressage? There's an Olympic sport called dressage. And it's literally people in these very prim and proper outfits, like these like red suit coats and like khaki pants with helmets on sitting on top of horses, right?

But the horses aren't running fast. They're not jumping over shit. The horses literally are just dancing. So it's a human sitting on top of a horse that's just like, just doing sequences. Like they're like up here it comes the left right left left left left. And like the horse has to like lift it's fucking hooves in a certain order and the person. just like sitting there. It's terrible.

I can't believe it's a sport. Drisage is dead fucking last. Drisage. Yeah, I mean, that one is fucking wild. I've actually seen like videos of it. I've never actually seen it in the Olympics.

But I've always wondered what the fuck that is. Yeah, just clucking around like that. It's very precise controlling of the horse. Sitting on a horse that's dancing. What do you got? What's your top three in DFL? All right, dude.

So I'm going to start with my top, my third. is going to be table tennis, man. It's the same the same thing you said, man. They are jumping around. It's fucking crazy. You think they're just going to flip

the ball back and forth, but they have like massive fucking calves, massive quads. They're going. The whole room is the table tennis court. They're standing like 40 feet away from the table. It's the craziest shit. You can't even see the ball

half the time when they serve it. It's just like boom boom but then they're like over on the other side of the room it is it is fucking wild and entertaining to watch and then um agreed agreed that's a good pick my second one is uh beach volleyball the women's because they're half naked and i've always watched it because they're half naked and when i was younger i was obviously into that i was a young male human and uh the olympics are fucking boring and that's what i watched that one and that's that's the one that I'm just like, oh, okay, yeah, it's the Olympics. This is what you watch. By the way, it's always on. It's always on. And I think there's a reason it's because people watch it.

Exactly. Yeah. And then my third is just, or my, this is my number one, dude. And I didn't even know this was an Olympic event until I watched it the other day. Fucking trampoline. Have you seen trampoline? No. Is that actually a, an Olympic event? I legitimately think it's new this year. Dude, it is fucking insane. These people jump like 25 feet in the air

on the trampoline. You know, it's terrifying when you're on a trampoline. You're like, if you go too high, you're like, shit. If I don't make it back down to the area that's a trampoline and not the side or off the side. Right. So you're like watching,

and if they're not very good, they literally almost hit the side like you're gonna die you're going like 20 anyways and then they're like doing these crazy you know like when you're a kid and you're underwater and you like can contort your body and like spin like a tornado

so they're doing that in fucking midair like and it is wild shit man I had no idea that there was it's called trampoline gymnastics I had no idea this was a thing yeah and it was very intense man I watched that one.

Ooh, a guy, by the way, this year, a guy fell through the trampoline and hurt himself. Real bad. Real bad. Got hurt real bad. Of course. You're up so fucking high, dude. It's crazy.

And then they get going. So it's like, boing, boing. So they got to get going. And height is one of the things they're judged on. So they're trying to get as high as they can. What's your dead fucking last? fencing. Because the problem with fencing,

the problem with fencing is that anytime things get going, they stop the match. It's like you get a poke, it's stopped. If somebody pokes you, anything happens, all the action is immediately stopped

and you go back. That's a good point. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. So it's like, I want to see a straight up stabbing murder. They have pads on. I want to see a samurai sword fight. Exactly. So my DFL is fencing. I'm sure there's going to be a lot of controversy on this.

Bursners, tell us what your favorite is in the comments. I think that the title of this podcast should be the problem with fencing. You go, the problem with fencing. Okay. It's like a bad Seinfeld joke. Yeah. A great Seinfeld joke, by the way. Well, one of the Brosner's, Peter, yeah, submitted a. Fantastic. Battle Royale.

Let's do it. Let's get into it. My brother... That was Forrest's film roll. Yeah. Yeah, you can't step on Forrest's thing, even though he's not here. He will be back next week. My brother who made the Wild Times logo, Joe, and his three children and wife are going to be arriving shortly.

Nice. I don't know what we're going to do. I'm just going to probably drink and hang out of the pool. You should come over. I probably will make a little... Maybe we'll make a little video for the Patreon. Nice. But I love this.

This is really smart. Battle Royale, Olympics themed. Here's what you've got to do. You have to, you're building an Olympic team. Okay. For the following three events. Track and field, gymnastics, and water polo. You have to pick the country that you want to be on your team.

You're funding this team, right? You want to get these people as famous as possible to get on the sponsorships, the Wheaties box. You have to pick the country that you want to represent you in track and field gymnastics and water polo and the animal from that country that's going to compete against the humans in the event. Okay. I like this.

So there's, yeah. So they fix the Olympics. They're going to put an animal in each event. But you have to pick the country and the animals from that country for those three events. Dropping a little knowledge here. People are going to get some animal facts. Since there's only two of us will just go one, one, one. I'm going to let you start because I know what you're going to pick for track and field,

so just go ahead and pick it. Well, yeah. I mean, obviously I'm going with the cheetah. The cheetah will be my first pick for track and field. The thing about the cheetah, though, that's interesting that many people don't know, is that they're in Iran. So it will be representing Iran. The cheetah will be representing Iran.

That's interesting. I actually didn't realize that there's a, there's a, population of Cheetahs in Iran? That's right. That's right. I know this for some weird reason, because one time I looked up where do Cheetahs live, and it was a rabbit hole.

So the country of Iran, and you're going to have the Cheetah run the 100 meter dash, I presume? Every track and field event, including pole vaulting. Okay. It's not going to work very well. I will compete against you in track and field.

Yeah. But I'm going to be represented by the country of Cameroon. Okay, very small country. Because I want the chimpanzee. I want a chimpanzee from Cameroon. Of course. Here's why. My main event that I'm going to target the gold is the javelin.

And scientists recently have done studies where they had chimpanzees throw 44 different objects. And they display. played a serious talent at throwing spears. Chimpanzees, they were actually able to teach the chimpanzees to throw spears. We know that they're much stronger than humans. I'm going to just target that event to win the goal. My chimpanzee's going to get really famous, more famous than your Iranian cheetah. No, no, no, dude.

I mean, well, I mean, you're probably right, actually. I'll have to concede on this one because it's going to be way more entertaining to watch a chimpanzee throw a dret chavalin into the crowd. controlled, then to watch a cheetah just run 65 miles an hour. If the cheetah ran the 100 meter dash and then turned around at the finish line and then killed the person who came in second, that'd probably go pretty viral.

Yeah, for sure. All right, so it's still a competition. All right, what are you going to do for the other events? Okay, so for water polo, baby, and you have no way of beating this, except unless you grow nails and shape them. bottle nose dolphin from sunny California

USA okay why I mean well how is that going to be what's it going to do a fucking water polo man they're very smart they can control they have great ball handling skills I mean so they're going to use their nose their beak to control the ball are they going to be able to throw it

they don't need it yeah I mean they you know they can they bop it like a soccer player with his head yeah they bop it well that's cool that that's smart they can swim real fast. It's going to be very entertaining as well. I want my team to be known as... Very entertaining. I want my team to be known as the team

that you don't want to play against. Right? It's like, it's like the football team where it's like they're not the best, they're not the fastest, but like you're going to come out real bruised. That's what I want. Yeah. So I would be represented by the country. Right? Yeah, but they're got the

most sponsorships. I'm going to be represented by Argentina because I want... Okay. the giant river otter. They are nimble swimmers. They have very, very large hind claws, right? Yeah. Or very, very large claws.

They're going to be scratching people under the water left and right. The other team is going to bleed so much that they'll probably have to, like, a lot of players will have to come out of the game. Unless you're a dolphin, mate. Unless you're a dolphin. I don't know how your dolphins are going to bop. They're going to bop the ball. That's right. my Argentinian team of giant river otters is going to dominate.

Okay. All right. I mean, everybody just go to YouTube and type in dolphins, popping balls, and you'll clearly see it. They're very skilled with balls. That's an easy win for the USA there.

Gymnastics. The next one. The next one is gymnastics. For gymnastics, you need a creature with a lot of agility. Okay? Yeah, of course. I mean, it has to be very agile.

And the most agile creature in the entire world, housefly. That's right. A housefly will be representing Japan as a housefly has the ability to reflexively dodge a fatal blow, no matter how fast it is. But let me just say that you're not dodging fatal blows in gymnastics. You're competing in such events as the uneven bars and the pommel horse. So, I mean, that's awful. Why? Here's what it is.

It'll be miniaturized. We have macro lenses these days. You can see very small things. Have you ever seen a flea circus? You're your own worst enemy with these burles. I should have picked fleas, God damn it. You start out well, and then your third pick is always a disaster. FISA are agile.

What are you talking about? This is ridiculous. Now, they will not be. What are you kidding? I'm going to destroy whatever your creature is. I am going to win. I am going to win the uneven bars. I'm going to win the rings, the pommel horse.

I'm going to win the floor routine. You're not going to win the flying around agile. I will be represented. I will be sponsoring the team from Brazil. A team full of spider monkeys. I don't even need to say anything else. They have opposable thumbs. They'll be able to grab the rings, grab the bars.

They're incredible climbers, as you know. They're great gymnasts. Vote for me. put it in the comments. Look, I defy you. If you think Retep won this, I want you to tell me personally. Go to at Spiceman and tell me, because I will argue with you for days about this. I just fucking dominated you there, son. Nah, sir. You're just ridiculous. My fly will be flying around, very agilely winning all of the gymnastics competitions. And, you know, force should be back soon. So hopefully, hopefully people will stick up.

even though your picks were a shit show. So, listen, people came for Forrest. They stay for me and you. I hope you've enjoyed this. We will, Forrest will be back. We'll be back in the studio. We'll continue to post an extra podcast for a month on the Patreon. The Patreon.

The Patreon. We just uploaded a bunch of never-before-seen scenes from Extincter Alive. To the Patreon, we'll continue to do that. And there's also a pet's dad tip I uploaded on there That's like one People have to tell us if they like that Because then I could do more Those had a lot of likes dude

14, 1400 likes Nice People are loving it Well this has been a lot of fun You do Let's please grow your beard out for the next one sir I'll try I've been trying to cover it up

If you like the podcast Find all the links at the wild timespodcast.com forward slash info the Patreon at patreon.com forward slash wild times pod all the other shit

is there on the website you can listen everywhere you can watch it's been fun mate we love you love you good way to start a Monday right here oh yeah

great Monday have a great Monday